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#ok thank u all for ur submissions as always it has been a pleasure and a nightmare and ilyall 💞💞💞 gn!
campgender · 1 year
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Yes! Just! Like oh good lord, jesus, yes! Ik u havent even had time 2 respond 2 the rest of my ask (understandable, I am Also nothin if not long winded), & here Im already adding more 2 the pile, but! Ok I didnt wanna like, b 2 presumptuous abt exactly Y it felt like we’re parallel (waves! Hi!) but I also totally was thinkin abt stuff like ‘Im subby af & I think its 4 sure A Factor cuz idk abt Mac but I get the feeling ze is decidedly Less So’ & then u said high femmedom & it was like yes! 1/4
Hello! (Sidenote, ace/stone/sub/bottom combo means I took a Comically long time 2 figure out that those 1st 2 traits werent just extensions of the 2nd 2 lol) Stone resonance, I love that, omigosh. & I think thats exactly where the parallel gets so interesting, w/ the allergy friendly cake (ur talking 2 a fellow ‘I cant eat anything’ celiac here), cuz that ‘Asking 2 much’,
4 me its like, I feel like Im still v much reeling & relishing in the freedom/fear mix of like, submissive acts ofservice r still Acts Of Service & u can b uncomfy w/ them, or even just U Can B Uncomfy W/ Shit, Period, like w/o the need 2 ‘Make up 4 it’, so the idea of sum1 getting off on those boundaries is like, not Bad, but it feels like it kinda undercuts these still v new & healing ideas 4 me, ykno? Like I need it 2 b ok even when no 1 is conveniently in2 it.
& ofc this is me talking on a personal level, like I absolutely Get wanting ppl 2 b in2 it & I love that 4 u, omg. <3 Also that last paragraph, holy shit, I want that, like, on a shirt or embroidered on smth, omg. If this is a disease I sure hope its sexually transmitted, I mean goddamn! Hopefully Im not monopolizing ur inbox lol, but u continue 2 b a poet & a delight. <3 -Baby
omg thank youuu this was, as always, lovely to receive & truly so so validating. that’s the first time anyone has said i have dom vibes & it genuinely makes me tear up đŸ„ș💓💓 also omg stone celiac solidarity!!! <33 that’s so exciting & truly makes me feel like someone out there Gets It
i absolutely feel & affirm smashing the perceived need to “make up for” something to smithereens, that makes a ton of sense & definitely resonates with feelings / needs from a given sexual interaction that i kinda fluctuate in & out of these days. i’m proud of you for doing your best to honor yourself & your boundaries & wish you so much love on this journey!!
& tyyy omg, you’re a delight & i appreciate hearing your thoughts & experiences so much!! also thrilled you appreciated my high femmedom verbiage lol, a fun mac fact is my favorite porn genre in my early 20s was vids that involved a woman getting a guy off without touching him, particularly cbt & getting off on her shoe. & now i’m looking back at that like babe u were sooo oblivious oh my god
like so much of my sexual journey rn is looking at my past self & zyr desires & being like “guess what, you can just do that.” it’s a process that’s baffling + frustrating + deeply pleasurable, & i’m interested to see what other connections remain for me to make. i’ve been keeping a journal of sorts to try to trace these themes with the hope of doing more of what i enjoy in my life
a different thought i’ve been turning over lately & wanted to share with you is how my particular experience of stone + domming + disability troubles the concept of what it means to top someone. like, guys have told me how to fuck myself & i’ve told people how to fuck themselves, & the former were tops or vers who considered that an act of topping me whereas i’m high femme, & the only difference is they wanted it to be their cock rather than my toy whereas i wouldn’t want anything different if i was with someone in person.
so it’s like, is the fantasy what constructs this act differently? the omnipresence of my boundaries? i don’t think there’s a single answer, it’s just fascinating. obv some people don’t consider virtual sex acts to be fucking at all, which i love how my disability + stone + denial challenges bc again, i can fuck someone without touching them in person, too lol
as always thank you for so much food for thought + sense of community!! hope ur doing well, all the best to you 💓💓
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filmnoirsbian · 3 years
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taekookismylifeline · 6 years
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(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you
ao3:  (x)
Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.
Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin
Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26)
Chapter Twenty-Seven -  what does it mean when i think of you and my heart is revived?
Jung Hoseok: yoongs
Min Yoongi: hey :)
Jung Hoseok: wow! An emoji! Jung Hoseok: i just wanted 2 say thanks 4 today Jung Hoseok: it was amazing Jung Hoseok: you were amazing
Min Yoongi: so were you Min Yoongi: there’s no need to thank me Min Yoongi: Am I not allowed to show my happiness? :(
Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: I MEAN YES Jung Hoseok: yoongs ive been meaning to ask u something
Min Yoongi: yes? Min Yoongi: You can ask me anything
Jung Hoseok: when i called u baby Jung Hoseok: did u mind it? Jung Hoseok: i only realised I said it after everything Jung Hoseok: its only cuz we talked about kinks and u said it was weird Jung Hoseok: so im really sorry if i made u uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i wont do it again Jung Hoseok: im sorry
Min Yoongi: Oh Min Yoongi: I didn’t think too much into it, I thought it was just a pet name Min Yoongi: I assume you mean the daddy kink Min Yoongi: So I guess you do have a daddy kink then?
Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: well Jung Hoseok: idk Jung Hoseok: i just like being on top?? Jung Hoseok: i like it when you're submissive i guess
Min Yoongi: right Min Yoongi: Let’s talk through this, okay?
Jung Hoseok: if ure okay with it
Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: what do you mean you ‘don’t know’?
Jung Hoseok: idk
Min Yoongi: Very helpful
Jung Hoseok: AHHHH im sorry!!! Jung Hoseok: i just mean that i get why ppl think its weird Jung Hoseok: cuz of the whole ‘dad/dy’ thing Jung Hoseok: IM NOT INTO INCEST
Min Yoongi: Seok, I know that you don’t want to fuck your dad Min Yoongi: I know what the daddy kink is to an extent Min Yoongi: It’s not that weird to me, so don’t be embarrassed
Jung Hoseok: AAAAAA that made ME LAUGH BUT IT SHOULDNT HAVE!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: thanks Yoongs :)
Min Yoongi: it’s fine, Seok Min Yoongi: tell me why you think you might have a daddy kink
Jung Hoseok: ok, ok, this is probs gonna be rambley so sorry Jung Hoseok: so
Jung Hoseok: I like being in control, like i like being assertive and knowing how to make someone feel good Jung Hoseok: i like watching someone feel good, i want to see how they react to what i do to them Jung Hoseok: i like giving pleasure and knowing how to do so Jung Hoseok: i like someone who gives into what i want and lets themselves feel good by my hand (or tongue or whatever) but also isn’t totally submissive Jung Hoseok: ive never really thought about kinks before but ??? idk being with u is making me think about sexy stuff and then idk Jung Hoseok: I think about u calling me daddy when i do stuff with u Jung Hoseok: i want to take care of u, to make u feel so good, to make u moan, to make u think of no one but me on top of you Jung Hoseok: it turns me on Jung Hoseok: you turn me on Jung Hoseok: sorry Jung Hoseok: this took a turn, sorry
Min Yoongi: no Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: I never knew you felt like that Min Yoongi: You probably have a daddy kink, Seok Min Yoongi: Or you’re just an assertive top, I guess Min Yoongi: I don’t really know that much about it
Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: I might maybe do Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: if i do, is this a problem? Jung Hoseok: obviously I won’t bring this onto you Jung Hoseok: i don’t want u to be uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i’ll control myself Jung Hoseok: are you okay?
Min Yoongi: Seok
Jung Hoseok: yes??
Min Yoongi: today Min Yoongi: when you called me ‘baby’ Min Yoongi: I liked it
Jung Hoseok: kfge Jung Hoseok: iowohh Jung Hoseok: sirry Jung Hoseok: u think u liked it?
Min Yoongi: it’s okay Min Yoongi: I know I did Min Yoongi: I liked you being on top, you knew exactly where to touch and what to do Min Yoongi: I liked it when you looked at me, made me watch what you were doing Min Yoongi: I liked it when you called me baby
Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: wow
Min Yoongi: yeah
Jung Hoseok: so Jung Hoseok: do you Jung Hoseok: maybe Jung Hoseok: have a daddy kink?
Min Yoongi: I don’t know Min Yoongi: I’ve never thought about it Min Yoongi: I don’t know if I have any kinks Min Yoongi: you’re the first person I’ve ever been with so I don’t know Min Yoongi: I just like it when you’re in control
Jung Hoseok: oh
Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: this doesn’t change anything, you know that, right? Min Yoongi: You can call me ‘baby’, I don’t mind
Jung Hoseok: thanks, yoongs Jung Hoseok: i don’t want to gross you out
Min Yoongi: you could never
Jung Hoseok: even though i swallowed????
Min Yoongi: wow Min Yoongi: yes, even though you swallowed Min Yoongi: Seok
Jung Hoseok: :) Jung Hoseok: yes yoongs??
Min Yoongi: when can you next come over?
Jung Hoseok: umm I think not next week but the week after? Jung Hoseok: why? Wanna go on our first date???
Min Yoongi: Oh, okay, cool Min Yoongi: I hadn’t even thought of that Min Yoongi: Yes, I’d like that Min Yoongi: very much
Jung Hoseok: yessssss!!!!!! Ill start planning it!!!
Min Yoongi: Thank you, Seok, I can’t wait
Jung Hoseok: no problem!!! :) Jung Hoseok: wdym u hadn’t thought of it? :( Jung Hoseok: why did u ask when i was free??
Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I want you Min Yoongi: when you described what you wanted to do to me and what you liked Min Yoongi: I got turned on Min Yoongi: I want you to touch me again Min Yoongi: but I can wait Min Yoongi: I’ll do anything for you
Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: you’re making me hard just thinking about you Jung Hoseok: I touched myself when I went down on you Jung Hoseok: you tasted so good, you had a shower didnt you? Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful naked Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful clothed Jung Hoseok: I want you to touch yourself Jung Hoseok: I’m there with you, my hands on your body Jung Hoseok: you feel that?
Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: yes i do Min Yoongi: what about you? Min Yoongi: I didn’t pay you back
Jung Hoseok: next time baby Jung Hoseok: you can dream of what ure going to do to me Jung Hoseok: I’ll dream of you Jung Hoseok: I always do Jung Hoseok: I love your voice, when you moan for me Jung Hoseok: are you moaning now? Jung Hoseok: you could be a singer with that voice Jung Hoseok: but I don’t want u to share it with anyone other than me Jung Hoseok: youre not replying but youre reading Jung Hoseok: I can imagine you, are you laid back on the same bed I touched you on today? Jung Hoseok: Imagine my hands on you baby, my mouth on your skin, marking you, making you mine Jung Hoseok: do you want that? Do you want everyone to know youre mine? Jung Hoseok: then say my name, don’t be embarrassed Jung Hoseok: im picturing u touching yourself Yoongi Jung Hoseok: I want to watch you do it Jung Hoseok: I want to help you Jung Hoseok: god look at what youre doing to me yoongs Jung Hoseok: you made me cum today without touching me and now you’ve got me hard Jung Hoseok: im thinking of u baby, thinking of your face when I touched u down there Jung Hoseok: u were so wet for me yoongs, it was so hard to hold back Jung Hoseok: im touching myself yoongs im thinking of you losing control Jung Hoseok: stroking yourself with your top ridden up your hair a mess Jung Hoseok: god I want to be there hearing the noises ure making Jung Hoseok: I should have stayed Jung Hoseok: yoongs I want u Jung Hoseok: so much Jung Hoseok: look at what ure making me do yoongs Jung Hoseok: I cant believe u thought id leave you Jung Hoseok: im nothing with you yoongs you mean everything to me Jung Hoseok: when you cum I want you to say my name Jung Hoseok: because you’re mine Jung Hoseok: not jinsoos not anyone elses but mine
Min Yoongi: I came Min Yoongi: just now
Jung Hoseok: I haven’t yet Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: send a pic Jung Hoseok: I don’t care of what, anything will do as long as its u
Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing Min Yoongi: but you helped me, so I’ll help you
Jung Hoseok: thank u Jung Hoseok: did u say my name?
Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: I’m yours Min Yoongi: (picture attached) Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing
Jung Hoseok: oh fuck Jung Hoseok: is that u right now baby? Jung Hoseok: lying there all messy Jung Hoseok: its not embarrassing its hot Jung Hoseok: youre so hot yoongs
Min Yoongi: you’re hotter Min Yoongi: do you want me to stay with you until you come?
Jung Hoseok: yh Jung Hoseok: say something Jung Hoseok: dirty Jung Hoseok: record it Jung Hoseok: please
Min Yoongi: (voice attachment) Min Yoongi: my voice is gross, sorry
Jung Hoseok: yoongs do u know how hot your deep voice is? Jung Hoseok: didn’t know you thought like that yoongs Jung Hoseok: I like it Jung Hoseok: im almost there
Min Yoongi: when you come, say my name Min Yoongi: you’re mine
Jung Hoseok: I am I am Jung Hoseok: id worship you Yoongi fuck look what ure doing to me Jung Hoseok: i came
Min Yoongi: you’re perfect, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll be there next time Min Yoongi: I’ll pay you back
Jung Hoseok: yoongs youre too good to me Jung Hoseok: I feel icky Jung Hoseok: but really good
Min Yoongi: ‘icky’? Min Yoongi: so do I Min Yoongi: I’m going to clean up Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok
Jung Hoseok: it’s a valid word!! Jung Hoseok: same here Jung Hoseok: thank you, yoongs :) Jung Hoseok: yoongs
Min Yoongi: yes?
Jung Hoseok: why didn’t we call each other?
Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I forgot Min Yoongi: you were typing and I read it in your voice
Jung Hoseok: oh hahahaha Jung Hoseok: this way ull have it forever Jung Hoseok: so if im not there and ure lonely u can read it :)
Min Yoongi: gross
Jung Hoseok: im joking!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: I’ll always be here Jung Hoseok: anything for you yoongs Jung Hoseok: you know that right??
Min Yoongi: yeah Min Yoongi: yeah, I do Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll always be here for you, too
Sunday was fairly uneventful. Yoongi’s parents didn’t return until late at night, and his brother was still at college which left Yoongi to his own devices with no distraction from Hoseok to provide him with any real entertainment. He spent the majority of the day watching make-up tutorials and researching piano score sheets to practice on his own. It was refreshing to play again, he felt like he were a little kid whose biggest problem was that he didn’t like the fruit that his mum packed in his lunchbox. However, this time he tackled practice with a matured and more determined attitude, although he still may have cursed when his fingers slipped.
It was early Monday morning when he received a text from Jeongguk, Yoongi was just about to clamber onto the school bus. He headed towards his usual seat in the middle of the bus, and positioned himself next to the window before opening the message.
‘Tae said he wants to talk to me? he wants to meet after school at that western restaurant me and u used to go to. Do I say yes? He’s ignored me for over a week’.
Yoongi frowned in bewilderment. Taehyung was reaching out to Jeongguk after so long? What was the purpose behind it? He had the sudden urge to grill Hoseok but refrained from doing so as he knew that Hoseok would probably rather die than betray his friends’ secrets.
‘Ask him what he wants first. It’s weird he’s messaging you now’. Yoongi replied with and then eagerly awaited a response.
He didn’t have to wait too long. ‘Okay, i just did, and he said ‘to apologise’. Yoongs what do I do?’
Yoongi found himself at a loss, Taehyung wanted to say sorry for his behaviour which most likely required an explanation. Jeongguk had nothing to lose and everything to gain, from his perspective at least. ‘Agree to meet with him and demand an explanation.’
‘Ok ok ok I just did and he said he’ll tell me everything. I’m oddly nervous. He makes me so nervous I almost forgot holy shit.’
Yoongi guffawed and had to hide his laughter into his hand. ‘make sure you turn up then. And don’t worry, you probably do the same to him.’ It was a struggle not to correct ‘probably’ with ‘definitely’.
Jeongguk responded with a variety of emoji’s which Yoongi interpreted correctly to be satire. He smiled and shook his head at the younger boy’s attitude as the bus halted at the bus stop outside of the school. Yoongi remembered that he had agreed to meet Hoseok near the courts before the bell rang and his heart folded inside of his chest.
Everything that Hoseok had confessed to him on Saturday had been replaying on his mind consistently. His heart throbbed almost painfully with the fondness that Hoseok held for him. It was entirely overwhelming and completely staggering to be showered with adoration from a boy who was the definition of perfection itself. Yoongi wondered whether Hoseok knew how amazing he was, how much he occupied Yoongi’s mind and heart. Hoseok had re-kindled the spark of passion in him for music, a passion that he had let die, and had also aroused a ravenous hunger for Hoseok and his touches. Yoongi pondered whether Hoseok was aware just how much he meant to Yoongi - he wanted to show Hoseok, whether it be through words of through actions. Hoseok had re-birthed him into someone he was profusely happy to be.
Suddenly, inspiration cascaded over him, bleeding into his veins and feeding his heart. He had an idea to show Hoseok how much he meant to Yoongi, he would need time, though. And a lot of patience. But he was certain that he could do it, after all, Yoongi had told Hoseok the truth. That he would do anything for him.
“Hey, Yoongs!” Namjoon called him over to the courts when he was walking past the field where Jeongguk was playing football with a group of people in his year. Yoongi’s eyes drifted past Namjoon and focussed on the figure next to him. The same figure that had undressed him and had leant over him, causing him pleasure that was sapped from heaven itself and bestowed it onto him. Hoseok was watching him and Yoongi was fairly assured that Hoseok was thinking along the same lines as he was as he spied through the mesh fence that Hoseok had licked his lips whilst watching him.
Yoongi entered the gate to the courts and approached the two, removing his earphones from his ears and wrapping the wire around his phone. “Don’t be so loud in the morning, it’s not healthy.”
Namjoon simply smiled at him, raising a visible eyebrow over the frames of his glasses. “I think you just don’t want me to be happy.” Yoongi raised an eyebrow back at him as if to say, ‘you’re exactly right’. Namjoon laughed, nudged him with an elbow.
Yoongi returned a smile, his heart warm. He was over the moon that he and Namjoon had managed to restore their friendship ever since he and Hoseok had begun their relationship. He had confided in Namjoon first, not wanting to seem as though he were dragging Jeongguk’s face through the dirt by confessing that he was in a relationship whilst Jeongguk struggled with his situation involving Taehyung. After Yoongi admitted to having taken Namjoon’s advice, Namjoon’s face had broken into an unbelievably wide grin and had pulled Yoongi into a hug, congratulating him on his bravery.
Yoongi was significantly aware that Hoseok was watching he and Namjoon jousting. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes running over him and could hear Hoseok’s quiet intake of breath when Yoongi turned his head to look at him.
“Hey,” Yoongi greeted, a shy smile seeping onto his face when he heard how quiet his voice was and noticed how intense Hoseok’s gaze was.
“Hey,” Hoseok responded, his tone equally as soft but his smile wide and his eyes warm, latching onto Yoongi’s as the golden sunshine poured down on them.
Yoongi had almost forgotten that Namjoon was standing in their proximity. “I was just telling Hoseok about this weekend - Jin told me that he was going to meet up with Taehyung and Hoseok, and he asked if it would be alright for all of us to officially meet.” Namjoon smiled, but it was too distant to be directed at Yoongi. “He’s really interested in meeting you guys, he didn’t get to last year so he wants to make up for lost time.”
It was strange to see the cool, calm and collected Namjoon be so completely love-struck, but it was refreshing as well.
“It sounds great, Namjoon,” Hoseok said earnestly, ripping his eyes away from Yoongi’s long enough to direct his attention at the person he was talking to. “I honestly don’t mind it. It’s the first time we’ve all hung out, and I want to get to know Yoongi’s friends better.”
At Hoseok’s words a bright smile had flashed across Yoongi’s face which Namjoon caught instantly. Namjoon smiled back, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Thanks, Hoseok, that means a lot – and I’m sure it means a lot to Yoongs, here, as well.” Hoseok turned to Yoongi with a gleamingly bright grin, Yoongi turned his back slightly and made to observe the football game Jeongguk was partaking in that was playing out on the field. “Does anyone know if Jimin will be available?”
Yoongi caught Hoseok’s uncertain glance and he cast his eyes down at his shoes. “I haven’t heard from him. I think...” He paused, mentally deciding whether he was allowed to tell Namjoon the truth. He realised that Namjoon was Jimin’s friend too, and would definitely want to be in the know as to whether Jimin was alright. “I think he’s trying to sort himself out.”
Namjoon watched him carefully. “So, I take it that you’ve talked to him, then?”
Yoongi registered the slight hurt in his voice and words blundered around in his mind trying to shove themselves together to form an explanation.
“We both did,” Hoseok jumped to his aid. “We weren’t purposefully trying to leave you out – Jimin wanted to talk to Yoongi, probably to apologise about what had happened at the club, but I wanted to come with; I wanted to know why Jimin was avoiding all of us.” Namjoon nodded slowly, and Hoseok continued. “I’m sorry, I should have invited you – and Jeongguk, too. You’re both Jimin’s friends, you both deserve to know what’s going on. But, I don’t think me or Yoongs can tell you.”
Hoseok was standing close enough to touch, to cling onto his hand, but he refrained from doing so. His heart was jumping wildly inside of his chest as Hoseok had lent him support without him asking. Hoseok really did care about him, and although he very much appreciated Hoseok telling him so, it was rejuvenating to hear it through different means. Yoongi very badly wanted to do the same for Hoseok and he found some comfort in the fact that he already had an idea how to do so.
“‘Seok!” Someone was calling for Hoseok’s attention. The three turned towards the noise and found a rather frantic Taehyung on the opposite side of the fence, gesturing desperately for Hoseok to join him.
Hoseok waved back and yelled at him to ‘wait up’. He turned to them rather sheepishly. “Sorry,” he smiled weakly. “We should make a group chat? To talk about this weekend?”
“Oh, god,” Namjoon groaned and Yoongi snickered, getting at what he was insinuating. “This is going to get messy.”
Hoseok laughed in agreement. “Exactly! I can’t wait! I’ll make it tonight.” Yoongi’s hand received a familiar warmth. He looked to find Hoseok gazing at him, adoration woven into his smile. He squeezed Yoongi’s hand. “Talk to you in History.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi breathed out, his hand tightening around Hoseok’s before loosening his grip and allowing Hoseok to leave, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. “History...” He murmured faintly once Hoseok had quirked his lips into his signature enthused smile and waved goodbye before running out of the courts to meet Taehyung.
There was a brief silence before Namjoon guffawed and then let out a burst of laughter. Yoongi glared at him but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “What?” He demanded, struggling to keep down a laugh of his own.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Namjoon bluffed, his voice coming out in gasps before his laughter sobered. He shot Yoongi a sheepish glance. “It’s just I’ve never seen you so – so...”
“‘So’ what?” Yoongi challenged without threat, his smile imminent.
“So soft,” Namjoon finished, reaching to pinch at Yoongi’s cheeks. Yoongi tried to scowl but feared it came out in a grimace and moved away. “It’s adorable, really. The way he defended you was impeccable! He really likes you, Yoongs.”
Yoongi flushed. “I know. He told me.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows rose and impressive amount of centimetres. “Wow. I’m really glad you’re being open about your feelings. You said it back, right?”
“Of course!” Yoongi defended, and then pretended not to glow when the bell rang as it signalled two whole hours he would be spending with Hoseok.
“So, how far have you two gone?” Namjoon asked casually once the two exited the courts and was out of earshot of any potential eavesdroppers. Yoongi spluttered with shock, his face turning ruddy at the aptness of Namjoon’s questioning. How had Namjoon known?
Namjoon laughed again, poking Yoongi in the ribs. “You don’t have to tell me. It was just so obvious! The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and the way you greeted each other like young lovers – I feel like I’m in a rom-com.”
Yoongi fell silent in mortification, thrown at Namjoon’s interpretation of the briefest of their actions. He was glad that Namjoon’s goal was to become a psychologist; that way Namjoon would be too busy reading other people to pay attention to him. Namjoon’s interpretations of others were no longer a thrill to listen to; they were becoming too accurate. Scarily accurate.
Yoongi hadn’t expected the school day to be that stressful but as he arrived back home with a stack of homework and the lectures from his teachers about applying to the right university, he resigned himself to sitting at his desk the whole night with stress surging through his system.
He had finished his Science homework and had begun researching universities, silently having a breakdown because what the fuck – he had to decide his whole future now? What did he even want to do with his life? Fortunately, his phone began buzzing persistently and distracted him from his existential crises. He checked the caller ID and was pleased to see it was Jeongguk – someone without the pressures of having to decide their fate in a span of a few months.
“Hey,” he answered, grateful for the distraction. A mutilated screech filled his eardrum and he gasped in pain, holding the phone away from his ear. “What the fuck?”
“YoongsIdiditIaskedTaehyungoutIcan’tbelieveIdidthat-”
“Whoa, whoa, what?” Yoongi tried to get Jeongguk to slow down. “Was that even a language? Did you meet up with Taehyung?”
A shuddery breath was breathed into his ear as he leant back on his chair. “Sorry, Yoongs. I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Start from the beginning,” Yoongi instructed. “Did you go and see Taehyung?”
Jeongguk, on the end of the line, must have collapsed onto a chair as there was a sound of furniture squeaking. “Yes, I did. I was thinking about it the whole day, and I had figured out what I was going to say and everything, but when I met him after school at the bus stop all of the words just – I didn’t know what to say.” Yoongi snorted and Jeongguk shushed him.
“He said that it was nice to talk to me again, and I realised that I had no idea what I was doing but it was okay because I was with him – does that make sense?” Yoongi felt a stirring in his heart as the image of Hoseok flashed across his mind, but he didn’t get a chance to agree as Jeongguk continued on. “So I said, ‘likewise’, and he laughed. Have you ever wanted to drown in someone’s laughter because it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?” Yet again, Jeongguk didn’t give Yoongi the opportunity to answer affirmatively as he swiftly carried on with his story.
“Tae was really nice from the outset, he paid for my bus ticket to town and he kept telling me stories about his family and stuff that his dog does. It was so calming just sitting there and listening to him, I could have sat there forever. He has this little smile when he remembers something funny, and then he would turn to me and that smile would get bigger and I wanted to kiss so badly him, Yoongs, but I couldn’t.” Yoongi smiled and didn’t dare interject; he knew that feeling all too well and had only first started to experience it a few weeks back.
“So, we get to town and we’re walking so close together – at one point I think he’s trying to hold my hand, but he’s trying to stop my phone from falling out of my pocket. And when we get to the restaurant he holds the door open for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in more pain, his smile was – was – ethereal.”
“Oh, nice word,” Yoongi commented, running his eyes over a prestigious university before clicking off the page. There was no way that he would ever acquire the grades to be accepted, he would have to aim lower.
“Thanks, Yoongs. Anyway, after we order he tells me that he’s been wanting to talk to me for a long time – and that he’s ‘really, really, really glad’ that we started talking in the first place, to which I agreed with – but he couldn’t talk for the last few weeks because he was ‘going through a situation’... He told me about Jimin, Yoongs.” Yoongi remained silent, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay, Yoongs, don’t feel bad. I know you couldn’t tell me. But Jimin told Tae that he could tell me, so Tae said that he barely talked to anyone because he was stressing about Jimin. That’s what he said anyway.” Jeongguk didn’t sound convinced.
“You don’t believe him?”
Jeongguk sighed and Yoongi’s phone shuddered at the plosive volume. “I don’t know. I’m not sure, it’s just when he was telling me he seemed... off? Like, there was something else he wasn’t saying. Anyway, he said that he was extremely sorry and that he would do whatever it took to restore what ‘we had’, if I was willing.” There was a note of tension in Jeongguk’s voice and Yoongi tensed in anticipation. “One of the things I noticed was that he didn’t say ‘friendship’ was the only thing we had between us, and I remembered when we went to that club and we were dancing – the waywe were dancing, it just didn’t... It didn’t feel platonic.”
Yoongi hummed in agreement, recalling a fragmented image of how Taehyung and Jeongguk had been practically wrapped around each other on the dance floor.
“So...” Jeongguk started and then let out a nervous bout of laughter. “So, I thought to myself: I want him, and right now I think he wants me, so what do I have to lose? Obviously, I was ignoring the soul-crushing fear of rejection.” Yoongi laughed loudly along with Jeongguk and then silenced himself, looking forward to hearing the continuation.
“I...” Jeongguk sounded hesitant, then he cleared his throat and Yoongi heard the squeak of a chair. “I asked him what sort of things he had in mind to make it up to me, and he said ‘anything’, so...” Yoongi awaited eagerly with baited breath. “I told him, ‘how about you let me take you on a date?”
Yoongi let out a low whistle and Jeongguk laughed into his ear. “I didn’t know you had lines, ‘Guk.”
“Oh, be quiet,” Jeongguk teased. “I haven’t got to the best bit, yet, so don’t interrupt!” Yoongi mock-tutted at Jeongguk’s attitude but abided by his request. “Right, so after I say that – and then wanted to die because that was probably one of the most cringe-y things I’ve ever said – he just looked at me for a solid five seconds before leaning in, and smirking, and he said, ‘how about we not wait and count this as our first date?’”
“Wow,” Yoongi drew out in disbelief, excitement bubbled within him as he imagined Jeongguk’s incredibility towards the whole situation. He was ecstatic that things seemed to be moving forwards between the two of them; they had been smitten for years.
“I know!” Jeongguk practically yelled, his voice breaking. “Somehow I managed not to faint and I said, ‘I’d like that’, and that I’d pay because he paid last time. And then he smiled, and we started talking about everything and anything, really." He paused. "Yoongs,” he started, his voice muffled.
“Yeah?” Yoongi answered, intrigued.
“He told me that Jimin moved back into his parents’ house after he met up with his mum. I think... I think it’s going well for him.” Happiness seeped into Jeongguk’s voice which caused the same emotion to fizz within Yoongi at the news.
“I’m glad to hear that. I was worried,” Yoongi admitted. “I’m really happy for you, ‘Guk, I’m glad that Taehyung feels the same.”
“Well, I don’t really know,” Jeongguk began, his voice hesitant. “We talked about our next date – which is this Sunday, the day after we meet up with Hoseok and all of his friends – but we didn’t talk about our feelings. I don’t know if he feels the same for certain.”
“Oh,” Yoongi floundered, his mind stuck. “Message him.”
“You said the same thing about Chunhei,” Jeongguk chuckled. Yoongi’s mind scampered to place the name with the person and remembered, Jeongguk’s ex-girlfriend. Oh. Right. “It’s impersonal. I’d rather do it in person, so I’ll try on Sunday.”
“Still, it’s something, isn’t it?” Yoongi offered to try and redeem himself. “He turned your meet up into a date and agreed to go on another one. Don’t think about it as getting your hopes up, and think confidently. He likes you, ‘Guk.” It was advice that he wished he could have believed in when Hoseok had first confessed his feelings to him, Yoongi had second-guessed every single one of his own actions when he had begun to like Hoseok back.
He didn’t need to see Jeongguk to know that he was smiling. “Thanks, Yoongs. You’re a good friend.”
Yoongi was sure that the warmth in his chest had nothing to do with the heat radiating from the radiator in his room. He felt extraordinarily blessed by every person he was surrounded by. Yoongi longed for a future where it could be so, him and Hoseok happy together, along with Namjoon, Seokjin, Jeongguk and Taehyung. It felt right. Like it was meant to be.
(Jung Hoseok formed a chat) (Jung Hoseok has invited you, Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jeongguk and Park Jimin to the chat.) (Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays loser-fest)
Kim Seokjin: I’m not a loser :(
(Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays cool-fest minus Jin cuz he’s a loser)
Kim Seokjin: we haven’t spoken in a month and this is how you treat me?
Jung Hoseok: maybe if u werent such a loser id be nicer :)
Kim Seokjin: It’s been a month and you haven’t learnt grammar. This makes me sad
Kim Namjoon: I can’t believe you ever held such grand expectations for him.
Kim Seokjin: I didn’t, I lied ;)
Jung Hoseok: GET A ROOM!!!!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: and RUDE!!!! :(
Kim Seokjin: We were on our own chatROOM until you interrupted us!
Jung Hoseok: fine go back to it then i didnt wanna see u this saturday anyway :)
Kim Namjoon: I take personal offence.
Jung Hoseok: Namjoon pls stop with the fullstops it makes me nervous
Kim Namjoon: Why.?. Kim Namjoon: Does grammar offend you so badly?. Kim Namjoon: .
Jung Hoseok: i rate you the worst out of yoongs friends
Kim Namjoon: :(
Kim Seokjin: hey, back off of my man!
Jung Hoseok: thats not how young ppl talk
Kim Seokjin: Okay, now I remember why I didn’t talk to you for a month
Jung Hoseok: ????? why ever not im an angel :)
Min Yoongi: you’re really not
Kim Namjoon: ooooohh drama
Kim Seokjin: brb I’m getting popcorn
Jung Hoseok: u guys are officially the worst, u deserve each other Jung Hoseok: yoongs why are u being mean????? :(
Jeon Jeongguk: Hoseok, why can’t you type?
Kim Seokjin: OOOOH! SHOTS FIRED
Jung Hoseok: again thATS NOT HOW YOUNG PPL TALK!!!!!!!!!!!
Kim Seokjin: Joon, please hit him when you see him tomorrow
Kim Namjoon: Will do, I’ll defend your honour
Jeon Jeongguk: Just a warning for Joon, if you send any of your poetry on this group chat, I’m leaving
Jung Hoseok: POETRY????? JIN U DIDN’T TELL ME THIS Jung Hoseok: also don’t worry Jeongguk ill kick them out if they do
Kim Seokjin: It’s not my job to tell you every detail of our relationship, dear :)
Kim Namjoon: You just confirmed it on purpose, didn’t you?
Kim Seokjin: maybe :) Kim Seokin: maybe I want everyone to know how sweet my boyfriend is :)
Kim Namjoon: the amount of smiley-faces tells me otherwise, it tells me you want me to suffer.
Jung Hoseok: NAMJOON PLEASE STOP WITH THE STOPS Jung Hoseok: yoongs don’t think i cant see u lurking and not replying to my question: why am i not an angel????
Min Yoongi: I was just reading the messages
Jung Hoseok: did u see them all ganging up against me?????
Min Yoongi: yeah
Jung Hoseok: :)
Min Yoongi: I laughed
Jung Hoseok: :(
Kim Seokjin: PAWWWWNED
Jung Hoseok: i will kill you
Kim Namjoon: and I won’t stop him.
Kim Seokjin: Why is my boyfriend so mean?
Jung Hoseok: why is MY boyfriend so mean??????? :(
Jeon Jeongguk: wait, are you guys officially dating?
Min Yoongi: oh, shit, Guk, I’m sorry Min Yoongi: I didn’t tell you Min Yoongi: I’ll tell you why on private
Jung Hoseok: oops Jung Hoseok: did i fuck up???
Min Yoongi: No, Seok, don’t worry, it’s my fault Min Yoongi: I’ll be back soon
Jung Hoseok: ill miss u
Kim Seokjin: GET A ROOM!
Kim Namjoon: GET A ROOM!
Kim Seokjin: Joon, care to explain why you’re stealing my words?
Kim Namjoon: That freaked me out, too. Kim Namjoon: Maybe it’s because I know you so well?
Kim Taehyung: I come online to find everyone flirting, can I join in?
Kim Seokjin: No
Kim Taehyung: ...t a problem??? WOW THANKS! <3 Kim Taehyung: Seok you looked really nice today ;) Kim Taehyung: Jin I didnt see you but I assume you looked nice today ;)
Kim Seokjin: Is this how you flirt with that kid you told me about a year back? It’s disgusting
Jung Hoseok: Jin can u send us some poetry that Namjoon sent u Jung Hoseok: Namjoon do I have permission to call u Joon cuz we’re defo gonna be bonding after this
Kim Namjoon: Jin, if you do that I will break up with you. Kim Namjoon: You can, but that sounded very ominous.
Jung Hoseok: omfg no please dont break up Joon might write some sad poetry:(
Kim Namjoon: Any chance of us becoming close just crumbled away.
Jung Hoseok: im sorry!!!!!
Kim Taehyung: Seok, why dont you tell everyone that haiku you wrote about Yoongi in the fourth year?
Jung Hoseok: i fucking hate u Kim Taehyung
Kim Taehyung: thats a shame because I love you <33333
Kim Namjoon: Oh? You know what, Hoseok, you should share your haiku.
Jung Hoseok: JIGKW I HATE U ALL Jung Hoseok: u know what??? Fine, I will!!! Im not ashamed of it because I love Jung Hoseok: love it Jung Hoseok: I love the haiku because it’s nostalgic Jung Hoseok: and im not ashamed of it being about yoongs because yoongs is my bae
Kim Seokjin: That’s not how young people talk
Jung Hoseok: I curse you and your work-out routine
Kim Taehyung: omg, Seok do you still have it??
Jung Hoseok: should do Jung Hoseok: but heres the deal!!! Jung Hoseok: if I send the haiku, Jin sends one of the poems Joon wrote for him!!!
Kim Taehyung: oooOOH I love this!!!
Kim Namjoon: Jin. If you want me to come to yours on Sunday you will not give in.
Kim Seokjin: (Picture attachment) Kim Seokjin: Oops! My hand slipped!
Kim Namjoon: WHY.
Jung Hoseok: O H MY GODODODO Jung Hoseok: ARE U SEEING THIS TAE???
Kim Taehyung: sorry, I blacked out after, ‘you’re the only one, it’s you my heart has won’
Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: ACTUAL PICTURE OF ME RN
Kim Taehyung: oh MY GOD, ARE YOU CRYING???
Jung Hoseok: OF LAUGHTER
Kim Taehyung: I’m so glad! I was gonna say if you liked this you’re so weird
Kim Seokjin: Oh? Really now?
Kim Taehyung: SHIT
Kim Namjoon: For the record, I wrote that a year ago.
Kim Taehyung: I’m sure you can do loads better now!
Jung Hoseok: omg tae are u trying to win Joons favour? JIN!! TAES TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!
Kim Seokjin: Put your hands up, Tae!
Kim Taehyung: NEVER! Kim Taehyung: while we’re here, the real question is: Jin, did you ever write poems back?
Jung Hoseok: there is silence Jung Hoseok: OJIGKN HE DID!!!
Min Yoongi: We’re back Min Yoongi: What’s going on?
Jung Hoseok: yoongs I missed u Jung Hoseok: SCROLL BACK UP OKRGLW
Min Yoongi: I missed you, too Min Yoongi: Okay
Kim Taehyung: holy shit, you two are married
Jeon Jeongguk: you two are so whipped
Jung Hoseok: whOA, the telepathy twins are here!!!!
Kim Taehyung: hey, ‘Guk :)
Jeon Jeongguk: hey, Tae
Jung Hoseok: is it just me OR IS IT GETTING STEAMY IN HERE
Kim Taehyung: Hoseok shut up.
Jung Hoseok: oh sorry
Kim Seokjin: Joon, you still are coming to mine this Sunday, right?
Kim Namjoon: It depends.
Kim Seokjin: On?
Kim Namjoon: Will you wear what I bought you?
Jung Hoseok: O EWIUFJKNK
Jeon Jeongguk: Is this kinky? I think it’s kinky
Kim Seokjin: Of course, I’ll wear it
Kim Namjoon: Then I’m all yours
Kim Seokjin: I’m yours
Jung Hoseok: WOW OH JEEZ PEOPLE WE HAVE MINORS HERE Jung Hoseok: Jeongguk look away!!!!
Kim Namjoon: It backfired, Hoseok. My poems worked.
Jung Hoseok: ?????
Kim Namjoon: Question, Hoseok: Did your haiku get you laid?
Jung Hoseok: O MY GODDDDOOODOD
Min Yoongi: it might
Jung Hoseok: YOONGS GET OFF THE CHAT NOW
Kim Seokjin: I think he’d rather get you off, Seok
Jung Hoseok: choke. Actually choke
Kim Namjoon: Oh, I’ve got that covered.
Kim Taehyung: I feel like I’m reading R 18 smut
Jeon Jeongguk: Am I watching porn right now?
Kim Taehyung: oh
Jeon Jeongguk: hi again
Kim Taehyung: we need to stop doing this hahaha :)
Jeon Jeongguk: We should, but I guess our minds are connected now hahaha
Jung Hoseok: IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE Jung Hoseok: YOONGS???
Min Yoongi: yes?
Kim Seokjin: Now your boyfriend’s here, Seok, I think it’s only fair you keep your part of the bargain and send your haiku :)
Kim Namjoon: God, I love you, babe.
Jung Hoseok: ok i think this its time that u two GO AWAY
Kim Namjoon: Never.
Min Yoongi: Seok, you should always keep your word
Kim Seokjin: Yoongi, I don’t know you very well, but I love you Kim Seokjin: [your picture is so cute, by the way, I can see why Seok likes you :)]
Jung Hoseok: ummm excuse me but stop flirting with my boyfriend!!!! Jung Hoseok: also yoongs is so much more than his beautiful appearance u loser
Min Yoongi: Thanks, Seokjin Min Yoongi: You were always the most handsome guy in your year, I remember that Min Yoongi: Also, Seok, trying to butter me up won’t change anything Min Yoongi: you owe me a three year old haiku
Kim Seokjin: aww, you know just what to say, thank you :)
Kim Taehyung: Seok, listen to your boyfriend and send it
Jeon Jeongguk: I agree, please do
Kim Namjoon: Do it. Kim Namjoon: Yoongs, make a threat.
Min Yoongi: If Seok doesn’t actually want to send it, he doesn’t have to Min Yoongi: I don’t want to make a threat
Jung Hoseok: SORRY IM BACK I FOUND IT Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: aww yoongs its fine i want the people to see how much I love Jung Hoseok: love this haiku and the memories it brings :’)
Kim Taehyung: what the hell, Seok Kim Taehyung: I don’t remember it being this sweet??
Jeon Jeongguk: that was actually pretty good, Hoseok
Kim Seokjin: Jung Hoseok. You never told me about this talent! Kim Seokjin: It’s good, isn’t it, Joon?
Kim Namjoon: I’m Kim Namjoon: You
Kim Taehyung: SEOK! I THINK YOU BROKE NAMJOON!!
Jeon Jeongguk: Namjoon is currently malfunctioning Jeon Jeongguk: Okay, we need to stop saying the same thing
Kim Taehyung: hahahaha :)
Kim Namjoon: That was good. Kim Namjoon: I’m being serious, Seok – can I call you that? Kim Namjoon: That was three years ago and you liked Yoongs that much?
Jung Hoseok: wait what really all of u like it Jung Hoseok: ????? Jung Hoseok: ah sorry yes Joon you can call me Seok Jung Hoseok: i cant believe this oh wowooo
Min Yoongi: Hoseok
Jung Hoseok: oh god
Kim Taehyung: THE FINAL JUDGEMENT IS HERE PEOPLE
Jung Hoseok: hi yoongs Jung Hoseok: please don’t dump me im so sorry its so cringey and really weird
Min Yoongi: I love Min Yoongi: it Min Yoongi: your haiku was really good Min Yoongi: I’m really impressed Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you could write like that
Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: you really liked it?? Jung Hoseok: that makes me so happy
Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you felt that strongly back then Min Yoongi: I don’t really know what to say Min Yoongi: I wish I could repay you
Kim Taehyung: Um Namjoon
Jeon Jeongguk: It looks like the haiku CAN get Hoseok laid
Kim Taehyung: ‘Guk I’m convinced that we were separated at birth
Kim Seokjin: I think that would be incest
Kim Namjoon: Maybe I should start writing haiku’s.
Kim Seokjin: You don’t need to do that to get laid, just say the word Kim Seokjin: Where’s Seok?
Kim Namjoon: You can’t just say things like that and expect to get away with it.
Jeon Jeongguk: this is getting kinky again
Jung Hoseok: Yoongs, you honestly don’t need to do anything in return, having you is enough already, I’ve got everything I’ve wanted for seven years and that’s never going to change. It means so much to me that you like my cringey haiku, it means so much to me that you care about my feelings when you said I didn’t have to send it. You mean so much to me, I want you to know that, Yoongs, and I can’t wait for our first date next Saturday, I really hope you’ll like it. And I was thinking that if you still wanted to, you could come to mine on the Sunday after the date? I’ll do something about my parents and my sister, so it’ll just be us. I want you in my room, Yoongs, I want you on my bed and I never want you to leave
Kim Taehyung: UM
Jung Hoseok: IWOPJWEK OH MY GOD Jung Hoseok: WRONG CHAT HOLY SHIT Jung Hoseok: I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO SEND THE SECOND PART OF THAT MESSAGE Jung Hoseok: TAE YOU SAVED MY LIFE
Kim Taehyung: there wasn’t much to save Kim Taehyung: I need to clean my eyes
Kim Seokjin: Joon, forget about the haiku’s and the dirty poems, can you write smut like Seok was about to?
Kim Namjoon: Why write it when I can do it to you, babe?
Jung Hoseok: I HATE YOU GUYS OMFG YOONGS IM SO SORRY Jung Hoseok: YOONGS CAN U EVER FORGIVE ME
Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: I just got your other message Min Yoongi: Go onto private Min Yoongi: Now
Jung Hoseok: oh god yes
Kim Taehyung: oh, that’s disgusting
Jeon Jeongguk: gross
Kim Seokjin: Joon
Kim Namjoon: Yes, baby?
Kim Seokjin: Private, now, please? :)
Kim Namjoon: Finally.
Jeon Jeongguk: is it just us left?
Kim Taehyung: And Jimin, but I don’t think he’s been using his phone
Jeon Jeongguk: Oh, I see Jeon Jeongguk: No one even talked about the time we’re supposed to be meeting up at
Kim Taehyung: They’re hopeless Kim Taehyung: It’s up to us! What time are you free?
Jeon Jeongguk: We should all go for lunch, so I’m free at 12 :)
Kim Taehyung: okay, 12 it is
Jeon Jeongguk: Are you definitely free then?
Kim Taehyung: I have this thing, but I can reschedule
Jeon Jeongguk: are you sure?
Kim Taehyung: yeah, definitely Kim Taehyung: if you’re coming then I definitely am not gonna miss it
Jeon Jeongguk: :) Jeon Jeongguk: are we still on for Sunday then?
Kim Taehyung: I wouldn’t miss it for the world <3
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