#ok that was unfair my followers are very kind and mean a lot to me

[lady-raziel]

long reaction to the update

ok. so they put out an update video! since i've been commentating for the last three days i might as well subject you all to more of my thoughts today.

main takeaway: this was a good apology video. i mean it. short and to the point, no overproduction, heartfelt and honest (and not a ukelele to be seen. thank god.) they took ownership of the situation, apologized, and restated how much they value their relationship with the fandom.

their solution is to make the watcher tv platform into kind of an iteration of patreon where content is available for early access before it is released onto youtube later. this is clearly a better option than paywalling everything for everyone. i'm not sure what the relative breakdown of costs turns out to be when you compare how much they were making on patreon after the platform took their cut VS how much it costs in overhead to run and maintain their own platform (how much it costs annually to contract via Vimeo, essentially). but i'm sure that's part of the calculation.

all things considered, that does seem like the best option out of all the alternatives. it allows them to not completely abandon any of the pans they have simmering over the fire for the time being. i don't think i ever thought they were going to just say "oops, forget about the streaming thing! let's pretend that never happened!" because at this point they've invested quite a lot of time and money into it, and i don't disagree that keeping it in some iteration may help them make up some of the funds they're lacking.

i would say, it's fine to keep the streamer. this is one of the ok outcomes, all things considered-- but if they're going to do it, they've GOT to do it smart from this point forward. listen to both the fans and the consultants intimately. both are going to have valid points, and both are going to be right. listening to too much of either side will sink this thing because each has motives and expertise that the other doesn't. if the fans say $6 is too much, listen to them-- but have conversations with business consultants about how much you realistically need to charge to make things work.

also, i'd use this whole situation as a learning experience. watcher is a young company, and it's literally inevitable that mistakes will happen. what's different is that the watcher crew haven't really been in a position before where they've been on the receiving end of the internet-angry-justice-hammer to this extent. it's one thing to watch it happen to others, but it's a position of extreme privilege (and a bit of hubris) to think "but that won't happen to me, because i'm built different." naw, man-- two things in life are inevitable: death and fuckups. the callout posts get us all in the end.

what's really important is that they use this as a wakeup call that even the most loyal fandoms will only follow you so far to the cliff's edge, and you don't want to push that. you have to strike a balance between the passion projects that you think are worthy and the stuff that maybe doesn't excite you as much anymore but the people want to see. a little fanservice keeps the lights on, as unfair as that might seem. i'm gonna make 50 markiplier choccy milk memes just so i can make one niche political joke once and a while for 6 likes. it is what it is.

i'd also use this as a chance to take a very careful look at company structure and finances. it's not fun to do and nobody likes it. trust me-- this is hard whether you're a single adult trying to pay the bills or the freaking US government (speaking from experience on both-- i have to read the president's budget for work frequently). but you all have to ask hard questions about the ratio of creative staff you take on VS staff for administrative and other business roles, as well as the costs and benefits of everything you spend money on. how many staff members are essential to location shoots? can this video be shot with 2 cameras instead of 3 and thus you don't need another cameraperson? you might even have to come to the decision that instead of pitching a new show it makes more sense to use those funds to hire your essential non-creative roles or contract firms or freelancers.

paying staff a fair wage with benefits speaks highly of what watcher wants their values to be. it's hard to find such a position in a creative role and still actually get to work on things you care about. but it would be much worse if watcher didn't make realistic decisions about finances and it lead to the death of the company and everyone losing their jobs. the whole watcher company can work, in my opinion, but not without some sacrifices. they're going to have to run it more like a business and less like a youtube-channel-turned-business in the future if they want to survive.

last thing i'll add is that while i do think this was a good apology video, i still think they hurt themselves by not putting out some sort of statement on Friday or Saturday just to say that they were formulating a response. As i've said in other posts, it's ok and in fact beneficial to not make a kneejerk reaction, but it's also very important to communicate that you SEE what's happening. you SEE what people are saying and THAT'S why you need more time to respond. saying nothing and leaving the angry public to wonder if you dropped your phone off the Hoover Dam or just don't care? that's a fumble. it's a common mistake companies make in a crisis, but that doesn't mean it doesn't erode trust fast.

this could have been handled better in many ways. we see that, and i'm glad watcher says they see that too. crucial going forward is taking all this and patching the errors that caused all this to fall apart and learning from the experience.

tbh at this point what i'm most sad about is that the watcher crew have probably been too stressed out and upset to appreciate some of the absolute bangers people have been laying down to clown on them. i think if it wasn't about them they might be touched by the collective attitude and creative spirit. /j

#watcher #watcher tv #after this post i have got to actually not spend time writing long reactions about this anymore because i too #have fires caused by my own fuckups to put out #alas

[comicaurora]

Happy Glorious 25th of May. Thank you for getting me into the discworld books (at least in an indirect way). They have quickly become one of my favorite series of books, even if I've only read a handful of them. As for a question, what have been your biggest takeaways or lessons from the discworld books? Whether it be how you write, how you engage with stories, or even how you look at the world.

we got another one lads

It's a little hard to boil it down! The books cover so much ground, and I read them at such a formative age it's hard to tease out how much of me is made from them.

On the most basic level, I love how angry those books are. Every POV protagonist is seething at unfairness and injustice and this is never framed as a bad thing - just something that needs to be controlled, directed, weaponized.

I like that everything is a joke, but in-universe everybody is absolutely sincere. The characters are charicatures and punchlines because of their sincerely-held beliefs and ideals. Captain Carrot is shiny and literal-minded and perfection personified and it's funny because he really is that good. Nanny Ogg is an outrageously horny and boisterous old woman and it's funny because she's having such a good time with it, especially when contrasted with her stern and serious foil Granny Weatherwax, and it's funny because the two of them know each other incredibly well and deal with each other's eccentricities with the practice of decades. The dwarves are funny because they're goofy little guys with big beards that think about nothing but gold and new songs to sing about gold, and as the books go on, the complexities of a culture that looks like that punchline become the deepest and most fascinating element of the worldbuilding in the entire Disc. The world is mounted on the back of four elephants and we made a book called the Fifth Elephant, how wacky, hey let's casually integrate the worldbuilding consequences of massive deposits of perfectly-crisped organic matter caused by the collision of a planet-sized elephant with a planet-sized planet. The discworld tells a joke and then commits to the consequences with its entire ass, and I love that.

A lot of the characters are in some way one-of-a-kind and unprecedented, or at least appear to be on the surface because nobody like them has even been publicly known, and the stories frequently explore how these unique people navigate their existence without a roadmap and trailblaze the way for the people just like them to someday follow. People who break rules by existing and make the world question what purpose those rules serve if they aren't actually unyielding principles of reality. The dwarf gender cultural revolution, the female wizard, the golem given a voice, the entire existence of Susan Sto Helit. It produces a world that feels like it's absolutely full of protagonists, like every story is one-of-a-kind and every individual person matters and has the right to choose the way they want to live, no matter what anyone else thinks. can't believe some terfs really think these books are for them as if they aren't precision-built to tell them to go fuck themselves

The cast full of protagonists makes the crossover events a delight. All these characters existing in the same universe means they can just run into each other sometimes, and they're all such absolute weirdos that their interactions never fail to be absolutely incredible. The world feels very thoroughly lived-in, to the point where the stories sometimes almost feel like they're telling themselves.

they're just really fuckin good ok

#asks #not aurora #discworld

[lucid-daydreaming-art]

intro post whoopee!!!

hi guys im lucid :D you can also call me daylin i don’t really care but i may be like woah how do you know my name (i will forget about making this post 2 seconds after posting it) also I AM AN ADULT im 22 and i do not use pronouns just use my name pleaseeeeeee if you have a disability that makes words hard to process i understand if that’s difficult you can just use they/them instead

first off just getting this out there if youre proship, zoo, pedo, incest supporter, endo system supporter, any kind of discriminatory against protected minority groups, and anti-otherkin, shoo. dont want you here youre not welcome. bye bye my content isnt for you.

immmmm an infp-t 4w5 sanguine-melancholic existential-intrapersonal-visual learner seer of heart prospit dreamer true neutral rogue shifter airbender and dragon type trainer for all you personality label freaks

i like to DRAW!!!!! this is an art blog!!!! i will only post art here, all of my reblogs will be on @trickstergemini save for the posts my close friends make that i want to support here. sometimes i will post just text but thats only if i really need to let you guys known something or im answering a question

my commissions are OPEN!!!!!!!! right now they are strictly on emergency status, which means you choose the price and what i draw and ill agree if its not ridiculously unfair. check back soon for it to be changed to fixed price commissions though

im AUTISTIC i am on that mf spectrum been diagnosed since i was three. for me this means im not naturally fluent in social norms or what’s expected from an interaction or how to read others very well. i also have heavy special interests and find it really hard to turn the conversation away from something im fixating on or specially interested in. i also have extremeeeee sensory issues and a hard time being completely flexible when im comfortable in a routine so just be patient with me man adjustments are hard for me. my empathy is also extremely low and im a really really high masking person so if i come off as well versed or allistic just know that i either took a million years to format the right way to say things or i am entirely going off a predetermined script and will fumble if caught off guard. other important stuff ive got adhd bpd cptsd and major depressive disorder which all those combined makes me really flaky when it comes to responding or follow through. i may not reply to you for like 500 years or maybe i will be gods speediest most motivated soldier. just don’t expect me to be a readily available fully capable robot ok?? ok.

i am one half of @ask-kas-n-lamp the other half is some guy i don’t know he just hacked himself into the account and now i have to deal with him

in all seriousness mod dum, aka @unoriginal-and-dumb or unodum or unoriginal or whatever u know him by, thats my best friend my number one my pal my buddy my servant i keep locked up in my basement and i feed him cement and staples for every meal and for dessert maybe he gets rust shavings. he will be featured in my art like a lot or in my comments and reblogs and i will also be present in his stuff sometimes. if im drawing kasper im drawing his design, that design is not made by me its made by him sooo you should check him out and support him if you like that style or how about instead we get a mass unfollowing going there and you all come to my page and i exclusively will draw his design of kasper and get all the credit lets do that instead

if my requests are closed that means theyre closed EXCEPT for lampert requests those will always be open please ask me to draw him and i will take like three weeks but will happily draw him

uuueeehhhmmm my special interests are pokemon homestuck regretevator geography disney parks and personality psychology. i guess i also am specially interested in dragons but its less of an ill infodump to you interest and more of an i want to be surrounded by this thing because it brings me extreme comfort because it feels like me. i am otherkin im a dragon and i look like this:

i will also represent myself like this if im feeling it:

yes i know i am not actually a physical dragon and im not a spiritual kinner i kin for identity purposes and the fact that i feel some pretty intense crippling species dysphoria idk ive been like this since i was 5 i don’t really have memories of my life where i wasnt experiencing animalistic behaviors and instincts

my favorite music artists are s3rl twenty øne piløts onerepublic imagine dragons of monsters and men thefatrat glass animals ajr queen nine inch nails and muse my favorite medias are httyd movies pokemon homestuck regretevator invader zim our flag means death infinity train gravity falls rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead doctor who my little pony fim dont starve and the mcelroy brothers content

heres some more characters i represent myself as:

ok BYE

#me #about

[claudethecrabdemoness]

Ok so I think I found a way to fix Vox LOLLOLOL. 

And by fix him, I mean make him much, much worse.

🔌 📺😝🎩⚡️

So I was drabbling in my head w Claude and Vox and they got to deep talking about their previous lives and regrets and all sorts of existential meanderings, when Vox surprised me by saying “I was a Christian, ya know. A good one. Never even missed a Sunday- come late night or hangover or hellwater. *chuckle* Fat lot of good it did me, right?”

And then I was like oh. OHHHH. 

He should’ve been a televangelist. 

So now this is canon as far as I’m concerned, and can even make perfect use of the little priest getup from his song number. After all, that is essentially what he’s doing with the V’s: amassing a hell-wide cult through the power of his broadcast monopoly. And explains why Claude had never heard of him before- he’s not your average kind of celebrity. 

I picture he got his start on local access TV, in the early 40s, just right after Al would’ve had his heyday with radio. He was an East Coast boy, no doubt, and mastered the quick-talking pander of the telecasters at the time. He often ran small broadcasts for local churches- fundraisers, telethons, what have you- and the Christian community ate up his All-American boyish charm. Especially the ladies. He married one who went to his church and really believed his words had the power to change lives, urged him to start his own televised worship, and boy did he thrive. They quickly became a household name, and he basically kick-started the whole televangelist movement into high gear. Like the bastard he is. Soon he gained a country-wide following and had money pouring in from the faithful by the buckets, and of course it all went straight to his head. Hence why it’s a TV now as punishment. That’s when he began exploiting his pulpit, believing himself a prophet, staying with his wife only to maintain their image, buying houses and toys and cars all with parishioner’s money, staying awake for days on cocaine and coming back down with barbiturates, the whole nine yards. 

It eventually caught up to him when his followers tried to commit a mass murder/suicide in his name, and a lengthy court appeal didn’t really smooth over their new reputation as a dangerous cult. Which is so unfair. It wasn’t like he told them to go all Old Testament, buuut… it’s not like his message was that far off from it either. Idiots. From then on, he started overworking, overthinking, and overdoing the whole thing right into the ground. His wife left him, he lost a ton of money in legal fees, and he had to hire protection now to keep up with the death threats from angry loved ones of his devotees. All the stress and resentment drove him into religious fanaticism, and his sermons just got more and more ego-driven and manic, asking for larger tithes and claiming it would be help him work the Lord’s magic even faster. He eventually was killed by a hit put out on him by an up and coming newer cult- ironically a spinoff of his original one- proving that he was very much mortal, but his faithful followers still believed he was a messiah of some kind. 

And that’s because- in his haze of drugs and self-destruction- he believed he was one too. He was sure that what he was doing was for all the Right Reasons, even if the methods were unorthodox. But hey- even Jesus flipped tables and rebelled against the Romans, so who’s to say his path is any less holy? He was SURE that he’d still be getting a ticket to Heaven, despite some minor setbacks…

So you can imagine his rage when he very much woke up in Hell. 

All his hard work, all his devotion, all his MONEY- for what?? Damned to live with a TV instead of his beautiful face and nothing to show for his decades of faith??

What the fUCK??

It was then that he realized God was the biggest scam of all and immediately renounced his faith, spending the first few years of demonhood sinning and drinking as much as possible. He had no idea how to cope with it all, and saw no point to trying, really. What good is having a TV head when you can barely stand the thought of using it- just a constant reminder of the empire you left crumbing behind you. 

And that’s when he met Alastor. 

Now here was someone else cursed by his favorite medium and a deer form that boasted anything but the predator he saw himself as- only this man was anything but deterred by it. The Radio Demon’s broadcasts may have terrorized everyone else in Hell, but they invigorated something deep inside Vox. Something he hasn’t felt since his first televised sermon… something like worship. 

He had to seek him out. 

This then ties in perfectly with his one-sided crush/obsession with Al, their doomed stint at friendship, and the impending rejection he receives at the end. AGAIN. First God, now Alastor…? You’d think that second blow would reduce him into an even greater depression than before, but instead, it flips a switch inside him. That’s when Vox decides ENOUGH. He’s done pandering, he’s done negotiating, he’s done elevating anyone else above himself. And why should he?? If anything HE should be the one on that pedestal, HE should be the only one to get credit for all HIS deeds…

HE should be God. 

And dammit, if he can’t join the original up in Heaven, why not try to become one down in Hell?

The rest is canon as we know it, but I just really realllllly love the idea of ex-Christian Vox, and all the disillusionment religious trauma can bring. He went straight from communion to capitalism, and I like that in my hell-bound guys. I will def be using this as his canon backstory for my AU with Claude, bc I needed to bring even more conflicted suffering and RSD to this character before I can truly ship them together hahaa. 

And…. despite what his real backstory actually is…. this is the only one I subscribe to now. 😈

ALSO:

TELL ME THIS ISN’T HIM!!??!??? HELP. CREEPY HANDSOME IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO FOR THIS CURSED TV MAN I HAVE DECLARED IT SO PLS ADJUST YOUR FANART ACCORDINGLY. 

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk I’m going to go rot in my hole now thinking of more hcs for this akskshagaga-

#I've done it #I’ve cracked the code everyone #he’s now appropriately babygirl evil #think frollo without the genocide #and the personality of hades #mmmm what a man #vox hazbin hotel #televangelist vox #religious trauma vox #atheist vox #cult leader vox #1950’s tv cults #backstory hcs #claude x vox #hazbin hotel #the v’s hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #canon divergence #but I like it more #plotting #rotting #thotting

[andaniellight]

you're one of the most memorable authors that i liked back in my jujutsu kaisen phase and knowing you're currently into one piece now as a multishipper and i'm actually this 👌🏻 close to have a ship in one piece as well (possibly zolu or zosan tbh) thanks to you, do you ship anyone with anyone else in one piece? if there aren't, can i know your headcanons towards the one piece ships that you ship?

HI ! HELLO ! ! !

Oh, shit, "one of the most memorable authors"? Where did that come from! Genuinely, what a title. Either way, I'm honored tho, thank you so much :D Forever grateful that people letting me know they liked my stuff, so I hope you enjoyed your stay in this shit show of mine (assuming you must've been following me since, what, 1 year ago? 2 years ago?) !!! I truly thank you for giving all of my stories a chance back in JJK phase <3 and sorry if they ever broke your heart......

Now, for other ships in One Piece beside ZoLu and ZoSan (and please keep in mind that that means I also ship ZoLuSan ok HAHAH), I'll have to warn you first that this answer will wander every where since my thoughts are all over the place.

I really like Frobin's dynamics (Franky & Robin). I love them as much as I love Nami and Vivi's dynamics. Thanks to that particular scene where Robin turned into a literal angel growing a pair of wings to save Franky from falling, I guess? Also realized that Frobin is basically a ship of 'a character who has/grew up with siblings x a character who's an only child' something something. And, I know, as I write this down, a lot of people would think that 'oh what a cheap reason to ship characters like that', but I do have the tendencies of shipping characters in critical moments (?)

Or, if I'm allowed to summarize it, my One Piece ships are basically a bunch of "a character with a very specific and precise personal dream to achieve that they don't really think it might effect the others so greatly so long they get to experience a life of their own and feel truly alive" x "a character whose dream is to 'serve' other people because they know they're capable and are willing to go the extra miles to prove that it is such the greatest ability to have"

That's how I started shipping ZoLu in the first place anyway; in a huge critical moment that had a lifechanging impact. Luffy shielding Zoro from bullets on a whim on their first meeting with 0 hesitation not only because he could do it without dying but also he knew Zoro would suffer further in the most unfair way (because bullets hurt normal human, okay? AND ZORO WAS TIED DEFENSELESS) WHICH THEN turns into Zoro repaying that to Luffy right away but still he stayed by his side, even decided to devote his life for this silly lil guy who just saved him despite knowing Luffy must be a much stronger person than him because of the devil fruit he ate the sheer willpower Luffy has and has shown whenever he announces about this dream to be the king of the pirates (an even more insane dream than Zoro's, and Zoro understood this as well).

The same thing for Nami and Vivi. The build up of their bond in Alabasta was just [chef kiss] MWAH. Postponing each other's priorities to prioritizes the other's needs instead. Nami understood what a grave dread Vivi was feeling for her oppressed country she'd rather die than letting her to feel that even longer, shared sentiments and whatnot, but Vivi feared for Nami's life in the brink of death because of a deadly illness and it's louder and fiercer than anyone could expect. Their backstory are so similar in a way but they did what they had to because of different reasons entirely. This kind of mindset I believe was an offspring or some sort from how they grew up where they had to "betray" their loved ones, by abandoning them temporarily, for the sake of their loved ones' safety.

And for Frobin... Robin used to disregard her life so easily because she has no one else left that she cared about, but now, she has a dream to find the Rio Poneglyph which tells the True History of the One Piece world including the Void Century, continuing the research of her mother Nico Olvia and her old mentor Clover. While Franky on the other hand has a dream to build a ship to go on countless adventures and see that ship reach "Laugh Tale", and this dream of his was based on the discipline of kindness he's built along the people he cared about and still continues to care about despite the distance and everything.

Anyways. Those are pretty much a handful of ships that I ship aside from ZoLu that have, at least, "patterns", and a couple of layers of why-s they're interesting to ship, to me. Unlike ZoSan, which, I basically ship solely based on horny reasons-

#the last part is (partly) a joke ofc because Sanji is a self-sacrificing idiot that I need to put shackles on so he doesn't off himself #to trade his life over someone else's because Zeff raised him so well he's a solid gentleman #long post #anonymous #anon ask #thanks for coming to my TED Talk ig sorry for the pointless answer hope it helps or sorry if it doesn't #Frobin #Nami x Vivi #Franky x Robin #Nico Robin #Franky #One Piece #Nami #Nefertari Vivi

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

dear Tam, I don't know how many messages you've received, but I believe my "hate message" is among them (Girl, Interrupted) I want to apologize for making you feel bad, as I said in that message, the joke wasn't on you, but the freaks you've been attracting, I'm used to making jokes like that on other blogs with other writers, and it's never been a problem for any of them, but I should know that just because you produce similar content doesn't mean you're going to get the same reaction. I created this account because I saw that you turned off anon asks, if the problem is me, don't worry, I won't interact again, but I think it's unfair to your other followers who are too shy to make their requests, they don't deserve to be harmed by some crackhead assholes (I include myself in this) don't let that kind of thing get you down, if you get another weird request just discard the request but don't spoil the fun for the horny horde, again im so sorry you got hit that way for my joke, I also have psychological problems and this kind of humor has never affected me, but I understand that what is ok for some is not ok for all, that's it, I'm sorry

Hi there.

Let my preface this by saying that I appreciate your apologies and that I'm very willing to talk this out.

Now please listen to me. What went down yesterday did not make me feel good at all. I was in a lot of emotional distress because all I want this blog to be is happy, horny but most of all consensual for everybody involved, for my readers but also for me as a writer and that point got very much violated yesterday.

Your Girl Interrupted ask wasn't funny at all because it did not only hit me but also my readers and followers by you calling them "freaks". That's not so low-key kink and trauma shaming in my eyes and I'm very very thinly spread when it comes to that. None of us, you included, chose to have psychological problems to deal with. There are no "freaks" here. At the end of the day, we are all people trying to get by and if my writing helps anybody to forget about their worries for maybe 10 minutes I'll keep on writing until the well has run dry.

Let's move on to the next point. I see where you are coming from and that your intentions are originally good ones, but here's the "but" part.... I am not a fan of being told how to run my blog and even less am I a fan of being told how to feel and how to react to things that illicit a emotional response out of me. If it is unfair for my "shy readers" to close my anon asks and that it shouldn't be ruined "by some crackhead assholes" then maybe don't ruin it for them? Maybe act the way I asked for so many times on my blog? Have some decency towards me as a writer, a human with human emotions? Test the waters because if you approach me accordingly, I'm down to write a lot of wild stuff.

Note that this is not me bashing on you but me trying to get a conversation going. You are very much invited to jump into my DMs to talk this out because I want this issue gone for good.

Thank you,

Tam

#tam rambles #asks are appreciated #asks are always open

[summonhouse]

not a specific question, but could you talk a bit about your experience being a system? and are there any more things you think people should know about systems? -a curious follower

bit of a broad question, isnt it? :P its always hard to talk about my experience because i never know where to start because its just... me! its hard to mention anything extraordinary in my life because to me its just regular by definition so i just dont know what to point out (and anyways im not really sure what people expect when asking for experiences). i imagine my experiences really should be much the same to anyone else except that under stress and at random i simply black out, and wake up hours-days later with everything mostly in order. its caused major memory loss and time muckiness which has been of recent distress to me (PERSONALLY. i feel like its december). i know especially in the past i used to struggle a lot with cross talk and clutter in my head where communication has never been very easy except when everyone wants to talk over each other. i do know recently ive been having a lot of trouble feeling like active alters "steal my time" which is unfair because, im stressed, any time they front theyre literally helping me. and i cant handle being at the wheel 24/7, even when i feel like i have to, lol

i think the only thing that singlets need to know about systems is 1. i do think its good to ask questions, OTHER SYSTEMS MAY NOT AGREE LMAO (i know many people dont like prying or feeling like they need to educate about their lives and i do think most people prefer to keep things more private than i do (i want to be more public because it makes me feel happier about something i cant change. and i hope it makes other people feel the same way!)) so please make sure this is ok to the person youre talking to but PERSONALLY. i prefer that people ask more questions (to me) than not. 2. systems are just like you ! but just a little bit more. 3. it gets very stressful and frustrating and often honestly agonizing being a system. you get very lost and confused and distressed for reasons you cant place because your brain cant let you know. losing autonomy over your functions can make people kind of short (temperwise, i mean), and the condition that causes it can often (at least to me) be embarrassing to mention. so try to be understanding if systems seem strange to you and you cant understand their behavior, by definition theyre going through some tough shit !

#its 1 am and ive had a . frustrating day so sorry if this isnt very cleanly written >_> #ask

[chatxkilluaxnoir]

Man, watching TMNT character analysis videos by a Fan that seemed pretty obviously biased towards one version over the other, that they weren’t fair AT all.  Which just kind of sucks man.

Ok so, like, I found and was watching this person had made both 2012 and Rise character analysis videos (they had other, mainly analysis videos as well though), and they wee pretty obviously more biased towards and/or more unfair towards 2012 (like, I get everyone has their own biases, I get that.  But they were just quite unfair w/ it/them imo).  Like, I will give them credit for at least getting 2012 Donnie more than most, but they seemed to not have given Leo and Raph the same deeper dive.  Which, to be fair, 2012 Leo and Raph have can be harder to “get”, w/ Donnie more in the middle, and Mikey kind of up down with that, but still.  

Anyways, this person made analysis, though hey haven’t made one for 2012 Leo yet (can’t remember if they made one for Rise Raph yet either), though, considering what they said about him in the Rise 2012 video, I went from wanting to see someone trying to take a psychological look at Leo (there is A LOT to pack w/ him, like there is w/ the other 2012 turtles and he is a very interesting and complex character like they “tried” to do with others, because I think that is interesting, even if they didn’t really agree w/ their takes, I was still curious,) to not wanting to, because just from the bit I heard them say in Rise Leo’s analysis, I kind of don’t want to see that video anymore, if that is their take on Leo.  Like, I love 2012 Leo and he is my favorite, Rise Leo is also my favorite and Iove him, and I get not liking either of them, everyone has their opinions.  But like, for someone who is trying to look into the characters they are analyzing mentally/ psychological, it is like they didn’t even try to do so w/ Leo.

Anyways, it is the same old complaints people who are more prominently Rise fans tend to make:

Since this does get pretty long and stuff, I will put the rest under a “read more” cut.

The turtles are abusive towards Mikey, esp. Raph.

I am going to try to understand his anger issues, but at the same time, not understand that a lot of his anger issues is because of a fierce protectives and because Raph is a very emotional character (deep down), and also, ignore all the times Raph is very sweet and caring towards his brothers and people, because he is just “angry and abusive”.

Mikey is a perfect angel (even though Mikey has also pulled pranks, mocked, been sarcastic, and/or teased and etc. at times too) basically and people (like his brother(s)) are abusive towards him.  I am not saying the brothers weren’t ever cruel or very mean to each other, but they are brothers of similar ages and teenage and ninjas and kids who lived in a very isolated environment and had a quite tough upbringing.  Also, people rough house, esp. boys.  Esp. brothers.  

Heck, me and my own friends used to push and kick each other sometimes while playing and messing around (roughhousing and all that).  And sometimes pretty hard/roughly too.  Also, both Mikey and the rest of the turtles greatly matured as the series went on, and did that way less.  Sure, they (and Mikey too) would/could still take things pretty far sometimes or be teasing and/or etc., but they were still young teenagers and/or young and had to deal w/ a lot of stress, stuff, pressure, and/or etc. no one of that age should have to.

God, I love Mikey too, don’t get me wrong, but it does get very tiring to see people (mainly Rise fans.  And I love Rise myself too) saying that his brothers were abusive towards him.

Then 2012 Leo, while they they haven’t made a video on them yet (and kind of don’t want to them anymore.  I used to, now I kind of don’t want them to), but they did say something in the Rise Leo video, which was that they were angry that 2012 Leo was just the stock stereotype “Leader” type, who just all like “follow my orders”.  Which is just like, one of the most fricken shallow of his character I have ever seen.  I have already rb’ed some Leo analysis on this post (you know, the more discourse-y one, where I got into a bit of an argument about 2012 Splinter), but I will probably rb some other good 2012 Leo analysis I have found later too on here, and I like those posts here.  Because God, I get not liking 2012 Leo; 2012 Leo defin. has his flaws as a person.  But he is a very good, well-written, tragic character, and to hear people be so superficial about looking into his character just makes me sad.

Like, if they said “I don’t like Leo because he can be really mean and controlling sometimes” (I am kind of quoting a good Leo analysis I saw/read here) , because he can be; though I like that part of his character, and I think it makes sense in context of his character, and I think it is interesting and realistic (there is actually a post I am going to rb and link that really goes into this), I could understand why you might not like him for this.

It is kind of like how I can kind of understand why people might not like 2012 Raph because he is also really mean sometimes and can get be quite angry”.

(not abusive though.  Because I just can’t agree w/ the whole, “they, and esp. Raph, are abusive towards Mikey” thing.  They are far from perfect, but I put down on “abusive”).

Like, there are reasons why they are like that and/or they mature from that.  Or in the case of Leo, he loses his innocence and starry-eyedness and gets more and more traumatized and basically severely mentally declines throughout the whole series, while also growing up and maturing.  There is a reason why I called him a tragic character.  Or in the case he matures and calms down more (not saying he can’t still be angry, he can be), and gets more and more open w/ this love and care for his brothers and people (and has had multiple pets that he has cared deeply for).  And/or etc.  I could go on forever talking about them, but I will stop for now.

Anyways, I could at least understand people not liking 2012 Leo and Raph for those reasons, even if I disagree, unlike those other reasons (and others I have seen) I have mentioned here too.

Also, some comments in that video talked about liking an insecure Leo (which I do like w/ Rise Leo a lot.  And Leo in general), like 2012 Leo wasn’t either?  That boy constantly questioned enough and got questioned and though he wasn’t good enough, and very self-worth, and was basically taught his own life didn’t matter if it came to protecting his family or saving the world.  Like, 2012 Leo was insecure (and had anxiety too, another thing I saw brought up)??  I can get liking Rise Leo for that, I do too; I am always happy to see that in my Leos (because I am evil), but like, please just don’t ignore that 2012 Leo was too.  Maybe people just forget, so I will give them the benefit of the doubt here, but like, boy.

Also, if you are wondering why I am not talking about Donnie too much (even though I have also seen some pretty unfair takes on him by, usually more so Rise fans, and how they also, like the others, don’t really try to understand why he is like he is, or they completely focus on one or traits while ignoring others.  This is an issue peopled do with the other turtles too.  And others too.  Like Casey and April.), it is because this creator had a more of a decent take on Donnie than they did the others.  So I am letting it slide.

Also, I don’t completely agree 

(though I also agree in some areas.  I just take issue, and this less just this creator thing, and more like some Rise fans in general.  That they tend to minimize the parts Rise wasn’t always the best father, while basically the opposite w/ 2012 Splinter.  Like, I don’t think either parents were “perfect” fathers, including 2012 Splinter.  But like, Rise fans act like Rise Splinter was a WAY better parent than 2012 Splinter.  When I think, they were both flawed people, with flawed parenting styles (though for different reasons), 

but also just trying their best, parents.  Like seriously) on their takes on 2012 Splinter, but I do admit that at least partially comes from the reason(s) above; that I really don’t how biased and unfairly some Rise fans treat Rise and 2012 Splinter in comparison to each other.  Again, I far from think 2012 Splinter was a perfect father (I can go on and on about his parenting really messed with his kids.  Ofc, it helped them too.  And he obviously loved them very much, and they loved him very much in turn.  But the turtles did get issues from it too), but Rise wasn’t either, and I dislike Rise fans treating Rise Splinter like he was a way better father than 2012 Splinter, or that he didn’t have his own issues.

If you think I am being biased myself, I will admit straight up that 2012 is my favorite TMNT show, however, Rise my 2nd favorite, and I am being harsh-ish to bother 2012 Splinter and Rise Splinter here, even though 2012 Splinter is my favorite and Rise Splinter is my 2nd favorite.

So I won’t deny that I might be biased some, but also trying to as fair as I can.  Esp. since I do love both 2012 and Rise (and God, would I love another season of Rise or another movie.  I really, really hope we get them.  Maybe even get some of the cut animatics from the movie and/or show worked into the show somehow, like (some of) Leo and Raph’s Leader talks and/or etc.  Though, I still basically consider some of those cut animatics as canon.  Because, I want to, and that s that, lmao.  Would love more 2012 too, like a season or maybe even better, a movie of the amazing quality as the Rise movie; which I loved so much.  I know that/those isn’t very likely, but a person can dream.  Would also love a great, and fair (no bashing of either, and/or putting one on a pedestal over the other) official crossover between the 2, but hey, at least I have found some good crossovers to fill that want for now).

I just don’t like bashing and/or people being unfair towards one series and/or it’s characters or the other.

When it goes either way.  I am mainly talking about how Rise fans (despite being both a 2012 and Rise fan myself) are treating 2012 in this post, because that is what I saw with this creator and what I am seeing more of in the TMNT community/fandom as of late.

I know 2012 and previous iterations of TMNT weren’t always fair towards Rise, and that isn’t good as well.  But like, that doesn’t mean you (some Rise fans) should basically do the same thing to other versions that people sometimes once did to it!

Like seriously, man!

Alright, I am done now; it is over.  Sorry for my rant.

I love the TMNT fandom and Rise and 2012 (really love 2003 and the comics, esp. IDW too, to name some) so, so much, but I really hope this kind of stuff stops soon.

Can’t we also just show love and respect and fairness towards the versions of TMNT.  Or at least, be less bash-y about it and/or more fair and stuff.

We are all TMNT fans here, even if we do have our favorites.

Welp, it looks I learned my lesson.  Be more careful of takes and/or analysis I found, esp. when both 2012 and Rise is involved.  And esp. when YouTube is involved!  YT was my biggest mistake in this case.  This is what I get.

I will be more careful this time around I guess.

#chatxkilluaxnoir #chat's rants #noir's rants #this is very much a rant #so it is getting rant tags #killua noir's rambles #discourse #fandom discourse #tmnt versions discourse #tmnt fandoms discourse #i am going to to tag the normal stuff for this post despite it being discourse-y #for reasons #so if you don't want to see it #just block one of my discourse tags #that i put on this post #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2k12 #tmnt 2012 leo #tmnt 2012 raph #tmnt 2012 donnie #tmnt 2012 mikey #tmnt rise leo #tmnt rise splinter #tmnt 2012 splinter #teenage mutant ninja turtles

[crisishauntline]

It is fucking heartbreaking to sit next to the person you love as they wordlessly unravel. It happened again today, like it’s played out many times before: her hand limp in mine, shoulders shaking, breath catching on choked sobs, not saying a single word. And I just sit there feeling like an asshole, all my questions, pleas, and offers of support hanging uselessly in the air.

I hated getting out of the car with her still in that state today, hated how the door slammed while she was mid-sob. But I needed tonight to myself. I had actually intended to write a song for her for her birthday, but haven't had time to work on it due to the amount of time we spend together, and the proportion of that time we spend fighting or afraid of fighting. Anyway, she told me she would be ok for the night, then called me an hour later to ask me to come over. I went against the boundary I’d set, as I’ve unhelpfully taught myself to do, and went. Oh, and did I mention she lives two blocks from me now?

Today’s unraveling started during our couples therapy session. Lately she has been feeling very nauseous, achy, fatigued, and emotionally overwhelmed by all the chronic bad feelings. She’s also acknowledged sadness and fear about the relationship in light of her chronic health issues, but hasn’t wanted to share much with me. Both of us seem to feel misunderstood or unheard, no matter how hard we’re trying to explain and listen. We really are trying. What’s hardest for me to navigate—and to express kindly—is that she always occupies the role of the victim in any conflict we have. When I feel disappointed by something she’s done (or more often than not, won’t or can’t do), the cause is usually her pain, illness, or fatigue, which means it would be unfair of me to blame or be upset with her. Even if I do have cause to be frustrated (like with her drinking), I know she won’t have the emotional and/or physical capacity to adequately address the matter in those moments. So over and over again, I have to just let things go without being too disappointed, always being patient and calm and understanding and humble, and if I do bring it up, process it as quickly and apologetically as possible or she will think I hate her and want to leave.

Conversely, when something I do causes her pain or anxiety, she rarely has the reserves of energy, mood, self-esteem, etc. to either let it go or process it with me quickly. Instead, even small stumbles can send her over the edge of despair and require hours of talking, weeping, cuddling, and massage to work through. This time the hurt was that she had to wait for me in the driveway for 20 minutes, after a long day and when she was in pain, because I didn’t see her text saying she’d arrived, or notice how much time had passed since she told me she was coming. I should have responded better, with an apology and promise to do better, rather than immediately following my “sorry” with saying she should have just called me. But I also remember after some previous time blindness incidents that I’d asked her to call me in situations like this, though she swears that conversation never happened. But let’s say she’s right, and I was fully in the wrong—is this really an offense that warranted hours of tearful discussion and confused silence to work through?

I am tired of holding so much of her pain while feeling so clueless, constantly guilty, and alone in the relationship. I am also more disappointed than I want to be that she can’t give me the kind of comforting touch that I give her. I fucking love receiving massages, being held, getting fucked to completion. I love giving her those things, but every time I do I can’t help yearning for her to give them in kind. Most of the time, she just can’t, so bringing it up would be cruel and pointless.

She has been expressing more gratitude for the intimacy and acts of service I bring to the relationship since the big turnaround, which means a lot to me. But the fact is that being close to her is no longer for closeness’s own sake. It is more about giving her love, safety, and comfort than sharing them. She says there’s nowhere she feels safer than in my arms. I so wish I felt the same about her. I did, at least for a little while, right when we got back together. When I was worried I’d need too much caretaking from her, that I couldn’t ask her to carry the despair I was feeling in addition to her own struggles. I think I was right.

#personal #love life #Spotify

[kelpieice]

Peter Pan Original and the Two Disney Peter Pans Part 1

Like most people I was first introduced to Disney’s animated Peter Pan adaptation of J.M.Barrie’s popular character. The 1953 animated one is not perfect but there is a reason this Peter Pan has stuck around for so long. He does have some charm to him even though I prefer the complexity of the original character. As for the 2023 live action Peter Pan and Wendy, they completely ruined Peter Pan in my eyes.

Original Peter Pan by J.M.Barrie

I love this trailer of the original story, the artist managed to perfectly capture the mysteriousness of Peter Pan’s character. A strange timeless magical boy raised by the fae folk and birds. Original Peter Pan is a character from my perspective suffers from maternal deprivation because he has no home to return to. It is also reflected in Barrie’s writing that Peter Pan has a very conflicted feelings towards mothers in general because of his own mother. He forbids his Lost Boys from talking about mothers, it is mentioned he doesn’t like mothers except Wendy because she isn’t a real one. Sometimes he lies and boast about his mother on rare occasions.

EX: Lost Boys: Peter, whats your issue against mommies?

Peter Pan: I don’t have issues against mommies, my mommy was freaking Wonder Woman! She was the best at everything. *continues to lie*

 He hates Wendy’s story she told every night about her mother always faithfully keeping the window open for her babies to return home.  This story bothered Peter Pan because his own mother did not keep the window open forever. It is seared into his memory that his mother shut the window on him and Peter Pan has suffered from abandonment issues ever since.

Peter Pan is also a dangerous and competent kid who can take on battle toughened men. He can successfully kill them and that type of competency with a blade makes this kid kind of scary. But it also shows me that keeping his Lost Boys alive is what he is good at, even being able to sense danger and warn his group of danger before it arrives. That doesn’t mean that he hasn’t possibly messed up before, but it does show for the majority of the time why his Lost Boys follow him. Peter Pan is not a useless leader to these homeless orphans.

Disney’s Animated Iconic Adaption (Peter Pan 1953)

While there are things that I hate about this adaptation, such as him being a jerk to Wendy in a way that I know the original Peter Pan wouldn’t of done. Disney also has shown that they could grasp aspects of Barrie’s character. Showing cannon aspects such as Peter Pan being adventurous, carefree, cocky, forgetful and thank god. They left him physically competent in a fight. The differences between original Peter Pan and Disney Peter Pan is how they show his blade competency, by using a lot of slapstick to cover up the violence of sword play. There is also the difference of original Peter Pan and Disney by how Hook is in a moment in which Peter Pan has an unfair advantage. Original Peter Pan helped Hook up and nearly died for that decision. Disney Peter Pan doesn’t care apparently and will kick Hook into the jaws of Tick Tock.

2023 Peter Pan

The only way I can describe this adaptation of Barrie’s character as incompetent. He also freaks out at the beginning when Wendy pricks him with a needle, after sewing on his shadow. Ok then. I didn’t like how they introduced him and Tinkerbell. Originally they show what accurately Tinkerbell was at the Darlings to do which was to look for Pan’s shadow. Here she is just so focused on Wendy. It just felt like a weird build up of trying to rush the story. I did however wanted to give this adaptation of Peter Pan a try. Then they get to Never Neverland.

2023 Peter Pan shows obliviousness, carelessness and he is completely clueless that causes him and the Darlings to get separated. How are they not dead?

What I can gather from original Peter Pan was that the first attack from Hook’s crew that separated him from the Darlings wasn’t because he was incompetent. What I love from both the 1953 Peter Pan and the 2003 Peter Pan was getting a chance to see Peter Pan first in action. They get canonically separated but both show they can keep Hook’s attention on him and not Wendy and her brothers. Then after Peter Pan goes looking for Wendy. This Peter Pan does not and only shows up later to help save John and Micheal from the pirates. Something that 2003 Peter Pan did as well. The difference is how Hook beats Peter Pan in a fight.

Wait for Part 2 on the fight scenes

#peter and wendy #peter pan1953 #peterpan2003

[itsokbbygrl]

Hi. I meant to write sooner, but time got away from me. And I’m sorry I’m advance about how long this is. Your post about Louis’ recent promo cycle really resonated with me. I was feeling like it was all a bit “off,” but couldn’t quite pinpoint what was bothering me.

I agree that this round of promo has lacked the nuance we’ve always gotten. Looking at recent interviews, I think the takeaways are 1) Louis is very loyal to his fans, 2) he drinks a lot of beer and smokes a lot of cigarettes, 3) there’s a fair bit of vodka and pot in the mix, 4) he parties a lot when he’s on the road, and 5) he likes football. Regarding his emphasis on the fans, that’s great, but I haven’t seen talk of who his fans are, so it’d be easy to come away thinking his fans are mostly white guys his age, which is also what’s represented in his band and his music recommendations.

He’s previously talked about his respect for his fans and, regarding young, female fans in particular, the unfair ageist and sexist judgment they face. He’s directly addressed and disavowed toxic masculinity. He’s shown support for queer and trans fans. He supported Black Lives Matter. The recent press cycle doesn’t even hint at any of this, doesn’t even hint that he’s the kind of person who’d do any of this. Unless you’ve followed him for a while, you’d have no idea of any of these things, and you’d probably not understand why fans are so loyal.

When I went to his show in Philadelphia last winter, I sat next to a woman who was there with her fourteen year old daughter and a couple of her daughter’s friends. The mom and I started talking about general parent stuff (I have two younger kids). She didn’t really know anything about Louis, and asked me, as a mom, if I thought he was a good guy for her daughter to be a fan of. I raved about Louis. I said something like, “ok, he’s going to come out and swear a lot, but as far as the important stuff goes when you’re thinking about your kid, he’s a GREAT person for her to be a fan of.” Then I went through all the stuff I listed above. I’ve been thinking that if that mom’s only other exposure to Louis were current press, she might be ok with her daughter being a fan, but she’d also think that I strongly overstated the stuff that I told her makes him so great.

When I started feeling like there was something off about recent promo, I told myself, “well, they’re mostly short interviews; they can only focus on limited topics; he doesn’t control all of that; etc.” Then I realized, all my positive impressions of Louis come from the same types of sources. It’s not like I’ve ever had a direct personal relationship with him. When he first came on my radar, I was a blank slate. I came away with positive feelings because of the same type of media as the current promo cycle. If all the positive stuff, the nuance and depth, came through before, there’s no reason it shouldn’t come through now, too. And I think its absence is noticeable and worth wondering about.

I’m new to the fandom on Tumblr. I already knew people could get toxic, so I wasn’t necessarily surprised by some of the reactions you got to your post, but I’m still saddened. I’m sorry you had to deal with it. I think if Oli came on here and said anything that didn’t fit in with the party line, even if it wasn’t objectively negative, he’d be attacked as a traitor and a liar.

Sorry for the long and rambling message. I really don’t mean to dump all this on you, or drag you back to something negative. It’s just all been on my mind and I found your post really helpful.

Hi! No need to apologize. I appreciate you taking the time to write down your thoughts and send them my way! I think you nailed it with “lack of nuance.” That’s really what it’s all come down to.

Louis at the signings has been a breath of fresh air. I mean, it’s the Louis we’ve known and love vs some of what’s recently been projected. He has such lovely positive energy IRL and I feel that is the thing that’s been lacking in some of his media bits where he comes off as kind of a hater (see: ladbible). The track by track sessions have been amazing as well. He’s so articulate and savvy, and it’s lovely to see him get the media space to show it.

Hoping this doesn’t invite negative discourse or unnecessary shading. Sorry if this isn’t entirely coherent, I’m batting a nasty headache and pretty severe anxiety at the moment, so the thoughts are all over the place. Lovely to have you stop by! ❤️

#answered #I wish we could still reply to asks privately #if people come at me again I’m just gonna be done I think #I am sick and v tired and just won’t have the emotional capacity for it anymore #which is sad bc I’ve been here since 2014 and it’s been my favorite place to escape for nearly a decade #anyway #pls be nice

[misssolitudesmusicblog]

My Music for May 2022

Hello Tumblr,

Welcome back to all of those who have been following my monthly music blog. I hope everyone’s month in May went well. I cannot say the same for me unfortunately. Tell me you're going through a heartbreak without telling me you're going through a heartbreak. My top songs for the month of May will paint the picture for you. If anyone is going through it like me, you are not alone and I am here to remind myself and anyone else who may need to hear the following:

Forget what you feel, remember what you deserve

Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you

if your absence doesn't bother them, then your presence never mattered

Time always reveals what you mean to someone. The way someone fits you into their schedule says a lot about what they think of you

Remove the fantasy of what could have been and focus on the reality of what it was. It's easy to romanticize a situation to better than it actually was. Invite peace in by reminding yourself why that cycle had to end.

It all comes down to accepting what comes and allowing it to leave when it’s time.

 I love too hard to settle for a nonchalant partner. I desire romance, passion, admiration, gratitude, thoughtfulness and attentiveness.  As I move on and let go here’s the top music that resonated deeply within me and ultimately got me through my month of May :

 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0YPZ8hYNOQ2MnJCzB1ClWF?si=bb0656cc779d4201

Ok let’s dive into this broken heart of mine…coming in at number 

  #55 Merry Happy by Kate Nash

“I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone

I can watch a sunset on my own

Sitting in restaurants

Thought we were so grown up

But I know now that we were not the people that we turned out to be

Chatting on the phone can't take back those hours

But I won't regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be

Dancing at discos

Eating cheese on toast

Yeah you make me merry make me very very happy

But you obviously, you didn't want to stick around”

#54 My Exit, Unfair by MewithoutYou

“And until I let you go I didn't know, you were never mine at all

But now I spend my days in ever-increasingly complicated ways

Convincing myself of the rightness of each word I say

My exit, unfair if unobserved! My exit, unfair if unobserved!”

#53 Interlude by My Chemical Romance

#52 I won’t care how you remember me by Tiger’s Jaw & Andy Hull

“I won't care how you remember me

Shaking in fear or resolving it

Crushed by the feeling not knowing what happens next

Take time to go perfect whatever version of the truth suits you best”

#51 Third Degree by Movements

“But I can feel me slip and fall right through the cracks

Between your fingertips

There's no going back, there's no easy fix

'Cause I know this path from experience

I know the other side, the other side of it

I've been on the other side more times than I'd like to admit

So I'm gonna keep you

Keep you close to me

So I can feel you

Be my third degree

Burn yourself into me and leave my body charred

So when you decide to leave I can write about my scars”

#50 Decode by Paramore

“The truth is hiding in your eyes

And it's hanging on your tongue

Just boiling in my blood

But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all

Well, I will figure this one out

On my own (I'm screaming, I love you so)

On my own (but my thoughts you can't decode)”

#49 Love isn’t forever by Reddish Blu & 6silky

“ Everything is slow motion

Your touch slow motion

My thoughts slow motion

We're driving real slow

The lean in my cup has got me in another world

I'm not too sure whats going on

I’m so preoccupied by my thoughts

Existential crisis the love of my life is you

In order to fight this i'll have to get high and forget you”

#48 Rapt by Karen O

“Off went the switch

Love is soft

Love's a fucking bitch

Do I really need

Another habit like you

I really need

Do you need me too

I believe it's gonna leave me blue”

#47 bitches broken hearts by Billie Eilish

“You can pretend you don't miss me (me)

You can pretend you don't care

All you wanna do is kiss me (me)

Oh, what a shame I'm not there”

#46 Cruel World by Lana Del Rey

“Share my body and my mind with you

That's all over now

Did what I had to do

'Cause you're so far past me now

Share my body and my life with you

That's way over now

There's not anymore I can do

You're so famous now”

#45 Thunder by Lana Del Rey 

“And you try to see the bright side when each new day begins

But you're not satisfied at the rainbows end

Just do it

Just do it, don't wait

I don't wanna wait

Just do it

Just do it, don't wait

'Cause if you're on fire, you're on fire

Just keep burning, 'til rain

Baby, keep me ablaze

Honey, if you're on fire, you're on fire

Just keep burning, keep me alive

Spare your blade

Just do it

Just do it, don't wait

If hello just means goodbye then, honey, better walk away

Just do it

Just do it, don't wait

If hello just means goodbye then, baby, better walk away”

#44 Unfucktheworld by Woom

“Here's to thinking that it all meant so much more

I kept my mouth shut and opened up the door

I wanted nothing but for this to be the end

For this to never be a tied and empty hand

If all the troubles in my heart would only mend

I lost my dream, I lost my reason all again”

#43 Nuclear Bomb by Cherry Glazerr

“Black, like a nuclear bomb

We share the same blood

You're not alone, love”

#42 Cover Under Comfort by Lillian Blue Makin

“Take me to the river where we cried

Take me to the water

Wash the stained memories from my eyes

Cleverly condemning me to buy into your love

Devilishly deceiving my mind turns to mush

Sweet sweet, cynical rejoice

Rob me of my choices

Rob me of my voice

I'll still stand in the

Joy of contentment

My coy perspective

Juxtaposed by you

Egocentric

I know you don't

Mean to be mean to me

But baby you were mean to me

Yeah, baby you were mean to me”

#41 YKWIM? {slow//reverb} by Ryan Celsius Sounds, slow//reverb

“Hey

It's not like you've ever tried to stay

Sometimes it seems like I'm in your way

Well, that's how it seems”

#40 Algo contigo by Elisabeth Roma and Rita Payés

“Y hace falta que te diga que me muero por tener algo contigo

Y es que no te has dado cuenta de lo mucho que me cuesta ser tu amiga

Ya no puedo acercarme a tu boca sin deseártela de una manera loca”

#39 Supermodel by SZA

“And they was right

That's why I stayed with ya

The, the dick was too good

It made me feel good

For temporary love

You was a temporary lover”

#38 Best Thing by Inayah

“Gave you a space in my heart

But you ain't fit, no, no

And it hurts, but I let it

I let it 'cause I, I needed that pain

But I wanted to feel it

'Cause it'll teach me not to go back there again”

#37 Trip On Love by Tom Kimmel

“I let my guard down in the momentary lapse of emotion

It just slipped out and we both knew my heart could be broken

I said something I never intended to say, you stopped laughing

And I said do you feel alone in that way?

Do you trip on love? Do you run from magic?

When you kiss someone, do you make it tragic?

If you feel too much, do you start to panic?

When the word comes up, do you trip on love?”

#36 Jugaste y Sufrí by Eslabon Armado, DannyLux

“Yo no sé cuál fue la razón

Si yo te estaba dando todo mi amor

Estoy destrozado

Tenía fe en ti

Pero jugaste y sufrí

En verdad estoy mal

Aquí estoy yo en mi soledad”

#35 Dreams by Fleetwood Mac

“Oh, thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing”

#34 Es Mejor Dejarlo Como Esta by Los Cuernos 

#33 8bit by Scotch Mist

“Where do you go my love,

When you're hanging by a thread?

Where do you go my love?

Let me look inside your head

Where do you go my love

When you stumble off to bed?

Where do you go my love,

With so much left unsaid?”

#32 Funny by Benet, Childish Major

“I always felt like I was here at your convenience

It's love, I mean it

I got this cover like gloves, I mean it

Always feel a slight buzz, when in it

It's slight drugs you giving, uh”

#31 Where’s Your love by Travis Bretzer

#30 i hate you by jersey club

“And if you wondered if I hate you (I do)

Shitty of you to make me feel just like this

What I would do to make you feel just like this

And if you wondered if I hate you (fuck you)

Shitty of you to make me feel just like this

What I would do to make you feel just like this”

#29 Little Bit by Lykke Li & Drake

“As soon as it's official

We'll have to let it go, go, go

So we don't confirm the fling

Keep avoiding all the questions

You could teach me many things

I'm just scared to learn a lesson

The pressure's on, both hearts beat like a metronome

 Both in sync like a Justin song

 Feels so right but it's just, so wrong”

#28 I just want to be the one you love by Boxout

“I don't want to set the world on fire

I just want to start

A flame in your heart”

#27 It’s Alright by afternoon bike ride, imagiro

“I'm under exposed to the loving you host

I miss kissing you after we almost explode

And watching the daylight reflect in your eyes

And keeping it simple 'cause we've got the time

But it's alright

The place where we live is in sight

Yeah it's alright

We could be there tonight”

#26 I Love You by The Bees

“You´re charming in my thoughts

With the magic that you brought

I love you”

#25 pisces kismet by Sweatcult

#24 Sweaty Faces by Cherry Glazerr

“Oh, you're so far from me now

Oh, don't tell me where to go and where to stay

Oh, have a lovely fucking day

Oh, your name is so cold and so black on my skin

Where do I begin?

 I wanna see your sweaty face kids

I wanna see you jump on stage

I wanna see your sweaty face kids

I wanna see you jump on stage”

#23 Vacating by Anthony Indie

“When I look into your eyes

I don't know what's right

Could you see it all tonight

I'd lose my sight

I don't know why

You would stand by

It's in my mind

You're in my mind”

#22 Calling It by Automatic

“Let's call it off and start again”

#21 Babygirl by Anthony Green

“She's so lovely

She still loves me”

#20 Solitude is bliss by Tame Impala

“Space around me where my soul can breathe

I've got body that my mind can leave

Nothing else matters, I don't care what I miss

Company's okay

Solitude is bliss

There's a party in my head and no one is invited

And you will never come close to how I feel

You will never come close to how I feel”

#19 In the city by Anika

#18 Take 3 by Inner Wave

#17 The Physical Attractions by The Symposium

#16 Здравствуй by Перемотка

#15 Moonage Daydream by Eagles of Death Metal

“Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe

Put your ray gun to my head

Press your space face close to mine, love

Freak out in a moonage daydream, oh yeah!

Don't fake it baby, lay the real thing on me

The church of man, love

Is such a holy place to be

Make me baby, make me know you really care

Make me jump into the air”

#14 Time Moves Slow by Andie

“Running away is easy

It's the leaving that's hard

Running away is easy

Running away is easy

It's the living that's hard

And loving you was easy

It was you leaving that scarred

But what was I to do?

Just couldn't help myself falling in love with you

And what could I say?

Oh, if I had another chance

To make you stay

'Cause when you ran away

I knew just what you were thinking that day

You just didn't love me like I do

Like I love you

The sad thing is we're better off this way”

#13 Thank You by Dido

“And I want to thank you

For giving me the best day of my life

Oh, just to be with you

Is having the best day of my life”

#12 meta angel by FKA twigs

“Throw it in the fire

Ego in the fire

I've got a love for desire

I've got a pain for desire (I need a meta angel)

But when I'm winning, I'm a flier

Soprano in the choir

I've got a love for desire

It gets higher and higher (some kind of meta angel)

That makes it sounds so easy

A pretty creature with a quote

I get confused with what I really want”

#11 Greensmoke by imugi

“Breathe in, breathe out, gettin' lost in the clouds

The days just go by when you give a week for an ounce

Another round for the table, we drownin' out the angels

I write my own prayers and build my own temples

I wanna know if you're not feeling me

What you expect from me? Was your love for free?

Is this really me? Is this really love or are you dreaming me?

This is hopefully, challenging

But if it's all worth it, for you, there is no shaking me

There is no shaking me, no”

#10 We cry together by Kendrick Lamar ft. Taylour Paige

“and deny shit (man)

Fuck around on a side bitch, then come fuckin' up my shit

What? Fuckin' up yo' shit? You must be bleedin' and more shit

Bitch, I don't know shit, fuck yo' feelings (you some on hoe shit)

See, I don't know why you like playin' mind games with me (mind games?)

Bitch, I ain't slow nor ditsy, I know when you bein' distant

I know when you fake busy

Get out yo' feelings and miss me with that reserve psychology”

#9 Father Time by Kendrick Lamar ft Sampha

“This made relationships seem cloudy, never attached to none

So if you took some likings around me, I might reject the love

Daddy issues kept me competitive, that's a fact, nigga

I don't give a fuck what's the narrative, I am that nigga

When Kanye got back with Drake, I was slightly confused

Guess I'm not mature as I think, got some healin' to do

Egotistic, zero-given fucks and to be specific (ah)

Need assistance with the way I was brought up (ah, ah)

What's the difference when your heart is made of stone

And your mind is made of gold

And your tongue has made of sword, but it may weaken your soul?

My niggas ain't got no daddy, grow up overcompensatin'

Learn shit 'bout bein' a man and disguise it as bein' gangstas

I love my father for tellin' me to take off the gloves

'Cause everything he didn't want was everything I was

And to my partners that figured it out without a father

I salute you, may your blessings be neutral to your toddlers

It's crucial, they can't stop us if we see the mistakes

'Til then, let's give the women a break, grown men with daddy issues”

#8 Higher Self by Liyah Dalani , Maijah

“See that he a sucka how he relapse

Never take him back off some fuck shit best believe that

Trynna elevate every day so I can be my higher self

Natural elevated she prioritize her health

Ain't worried bout no players these grown men can fix themselves

Light up the sage for the vibes and the wealth

Within I got the things I need don't need nobody else

On me I'll never let nobody take my sense of self

When he kiss my neck I swear it takes me somewhere else

Know I got that magic that gon make my baby melt

But I ain't ever see no one besides my higher self

Yeah

Hips swinging like my favorite pendulum

Now I got everybody's attention

Not afraid of my demons cuz I'm friends with them we've been chilling in a different Dimension

I been manifesting all my love peace fame money health.

Doing hot girl shit with my higher self.

Strong guides so I been protected my third eye is connected.

Feeling spiritually tested

Manifesting my blessings

Spent my energy at work just to flip the cash with investment

On some hot girl shit he gon throw down

Treat me like a queen for four more rounds

Baby got the juice if you know what I'm saying

No one do it like my girls my best friend bad a Jamaican

Since the energy right our hips been a swaying

Real bad bitch vibes coming through really slaying”

#7 Gemini by Princess Nokia

“I'm the horoscope hoe

I'm the planet and moon

I'm the rising ascendant

5th degree to the Moon

I'm the witch of your dreams

I'm the voice in your head

Your husband sent me a DM

And I just left him on read

My planet's Mercury

My element is air

I'm such a free spirit

That I don't fucking care

If I got a blunt

I ain't moving out my chair

You can kiss my derrière

'Cause it's shaped like a pear”

#6 Pool by Samia

“I said, "Loving you is bigger than my head"

And then you dove in

And then I said, "I'm afraid that I need men"

You said, "Need me then"

If you are really scared with your mouth up in the air

Then try to breathe under the water through this tube

How long do you think we can sit here

Before we have to move?”

#5 Yeah by Mac Miller

“When will we die? This life isn't fair

I miss the high, I live a lie

And one day we'll die, no one will care

Take me inside, I'll meet you there

Am I alive? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Am I aware? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Are we prepared? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Then one day we'll die (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

No one will care (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Do you get high? (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

We will survive (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

Yeah, who do you think you are?

Young man? Young man?

Yeah”

#4 Shades of Blue by Kelsey Lu

“I knew I was a chess piece in your game

Moving me every which way

Thought I'd hold out for your love someday

But I couldn't

Cause you wouldn't

You're like a blazing fire

In the Sahara

On a wind filled night

Movin' in all directions

I'm not over you

Not over you

But I'm over feeling shades of blue

I'm not over you not over you

But I'm over feeling shades of blue

Blue”

#3 Mother I Sober by Kendrick Lamar, Beth Gibbons

“Now I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced

Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous

I was five, questioning myself, 'lone for many years

Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel

I made it home, seven years of tour, chasin' manhood

But Whitney's gone, by time you hear this song, she did all she could

All those women gave me superpowers, what I thought I lacked

I pray our children don't inherit me and feelings I attract

a conversation, not bein' addressed in black families

The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity

They raped our mothers, then they raped our sisters

Then they made us watch, then made us rape each other

Psychotic torture between our lives we ain't recovered

Still livin' as victims in the public eyes who pledge allegiance

Every other brother has been compromised

I know the secrets, every other rapper sexually abused

I see 'em daily buryin' they pain in chains and tattoos

So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move

Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school

His anger grows deep in misogyny

This is post-traumatic black families and a sodomy, today is still active

So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made

So I set free my mother all the hurt that she titled shame

So I set free my cousin, chaotic for my mother's pain

I hope Hykeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vain

So I set free the power of Whitney, may she heal us all

So I set free our children, may good karma keep them with God

So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred

As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation”

#2 Everybody by Mac Miller

“Everybody's gotta live

And everybody's gonna die

Everybody's gonna try to have a good, good time

I think you know the reason why

Saw a blind man standing on the corner, baby

Yeah, and he couldn't hardly tie his shoes

Yeah, harmonica and guitar strapped around his neck

But he sure could, he sure could play the blues”

#1 Count Me Out by Kendrick Lamar

“I made a decision, never give you my feelings

Fuck with you from, fuck with you from a distance

Some put it on the devil when they fall short

I put it on my ego, lord of all lords

Sometimes I fall for her, dawg

I love when you count me out

I love when you count me out

I love when you count me out

I love when you count me out

My name is in your mouth

Fuck it up, fuck it up (shoo, shoo)

Fuck it up, fuck it up, fuckin' it up

Miss Regrets, I believe that you done me wrong (Miss Regrets)

Miss Regrets, can you please exit out my home? (Miss Regrets)

Miss Regret, I think I'm better off alone (Miss Regrets)”

And that concludes my music for May, thank you to anyone who takes the time to listen to my monthly music playlist on Spotify I appreciate it. It was tough month for me but I made it through and I am thankful for family & friends being there for me. We’re leveling up so much that nothing bothers us anymore. It’s an unbothered and unhinged hot girl summer on the horizon. 

#Spotify #music #music playlist #may #heartbreak

[ladyvesuvia]

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@justadreamyhufflepuff: GSJSVSKSBSJD BABY CONGRATS- CAN I PLEASE GET A 🎠 -> Harry potter + soft love + fluff + prompts 9, 10, 32, 42 from prompt list 1. || for my 300 followers celebration

Prompts:

9. “You took all the pillows so I’m using you as one.”

10. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

32. “Make a wish!”

42. “Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen.”

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Moving into your new house with Harry.

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: fluff but with slight and subtle mentions of sexual activities + let me know if i missed anything!

A/N: omg yay harry fluff :DDD ok sorry go ahead btw this hasn’t been proofread yet mbad

After years of setting things up, they could finally move into their house. Of course, there were some parts of it that still needed fixing but they’ll eventually work it out. Right now, they wanted to bask in the comfort and triumph of their own house.

“Got your key?” said [Y/N], holding out her own key. She had already attached a duck keychain to it.

“Got it,” replied Harry, showing her his own. They both sniggered at his ridiculous bathtub keychain, which looked undeniably out of place but she was glad for it nonetheless. See, she had bought it years ago when they first talked about getting a house. “Will you do the honors?”

“You know, we could easily Alohomora the heck out of this bas —”

“Do the honors,” he teasingly urged, poking her on the waist where her tickle spot was and she recoiled. “Do it, [Y/L/N].”

“Ha! I’m Potter now, too. Ergo you’re not so special anymore,” she said as she marched up the raised porch. It was a lovely sight indeed — she could already imagine inviting the others to come over: roasting marshmallows either here or at the backyard and such. She giddily walked towards the door. This is it, she thought. “Wait, this is unfair. You carry me as you open it so I’ll be like a pretty wife.”

“That you are,” said Harry as he scooped her up into his arms. She let out a whoop of approval, patting his cheek as he put the key in and swung the door open.

All their boxes were on the floor already, with a lot more scattered all over the house. “Ooh, this is a lot of work. Wanna sleep it off?” she yawned, kicking some boxes aside on her way to the stairs. “What, you gonna protest, Mr. Potter?”

“Not at all, Mrs. Potter,” said Harry, and they both stopped and looked at each other, eyes narrowed while scrutinizing the name. “Mrs. Potter.”

“Does it sound a bit weird to you? I mean, no offense. I mean, I’ve waited for this half of my life but — you know?

“Yeah, like, [Y/N] Potter,” he said again, making arm gestures as if parting a curtain. She started to laugh. “I see what you mean.”

“You look like a . . . getching shooba driver but on land,” she said with a yawn.

“A what?” This time, Harry was the one stifling his laughter.

“Glitching scuba diver on land,” spat [Y/N], taking off her jacket. When she saw he’d been eyeing her with a dazed expression on his face, she made a show of getting off her right jacket sleeve with a suggestive smile on her face. “Wait, uh, can’t get it off. Sweat, I think. Help?”

“Will do, will do,” said Harry, approaching her and reaching out to pull it off her with a tight smile in an awful attempt to keep his laughter.

“Whatever. Can we sleep now, please? Where’s our bed again?”

“There,” he pointed somewhere in the kitchen room.

“I thought our room was upstairs?”

“Our room is upstairs, the bed is here.”

“Why would that be the ca—oh, no. D’we really have to assemble it?” she whined. They had to travel by Muggle transportation due to issues with the Floo network and they wanted to minimize suspicion, and the it was finally taking its toll on their entire energy: [Y/N]’s back was cramping from the long ride, Harry’s head was already hurting like hell. To make matters worse, neighbors were peeking through their windows so they had to go inside immediately.

“No, we can just bring the mattress up and assemble it all tomorrow, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a moan, tossing the jacket on the kitchen counter. “Yeah, yeah.”

��Oh, are we — ?” He shrugged hesitantly.

“No! I mean, do you want to? Now?”

“Do you?” The two chuckled nervously. They were standing there for probably around half a minute or one when the doorbell dinged and the two of them jumped. [Y/N] volunteered to get it.

A woman younger than her for about a year stood in front of her doorstep when she swung the door open, carrying a tiny baby probably about a few months old in her arms. [Y/N] managed a friendly smile as she wiped away a drop of sweat from her forehead.

“Hi, welcome to the neighborhood. I’m Karolina Martin. I live right across and I brought you something!”

“The . . . baby?” [Y/N]’s shoulders tensed as she thought about this over an over until she realized that was highly unlikely.

“No! You’re hilarious, though. I like you. I actually came here to give you” — the woman put down a bag she hung over her shoulder down on the floor — “this.”

Inside was a basket with a bottle of what [Y/N] could only assume was fine wine or champagne or whatever it was couples with a number of chocolates and cookies inside. She realized with a start there was also a pot inside.

[Y/N] laughed, holding up the pot. “Funny, because we’re Potters?” she asked, setting it back down again.

“You are?” Karolina said, impressed. “So which do you suggest I should start with first? Stoneware or earthenware? Ooh, what about fire clay?”

It took a few seconds before [Y/N] realized the direction of the conversation. “Oh! Well, heh, not that kind of potter.”

Karolina flinched, eyeing [Y/N] with suspicion. “You smoke — ?”

“No! Not that kind of potter. We don’t smoke po—Sorry, that’s on me, I should have clarified. I’m [Y/N],” she said. Karolina still looked confused. Composing herself, she managed a tight smile. “[Y/N] Potter.”

“Oh! Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry!” Karolina chuckled. “I was a bit confused, I’m really sorry. I haven’t met someone around here about my age.”

“Don’t worry about it. Thanks for the welcoming gift, by the way. I just moved in with my . . . husband.” It still sounded surreal to call Harry that way, but she liked it all the same. Her eyes fell on the chubby little kid.

“Right! This is baby Sydney, she’s turning six months old next week. Would be really nice if you and your husband could come — and kid or kids, if you have some?” Maybe it was the coos the baby made or her adorable eyes and hints of two teeth growing, but [Y/N] felt intimidated by the little kid. She was bigger than she thought babies would be. Is this what she’d push through her bottom? She shuddered. “Do you . . . want to hold her?” asked Karolina, oblivious to the thoughts going on in [Y/N]’s heads.

“Listen, I’m really grateful you stopped by but we’re kinda tired. I’m so, so, sorry! Thank you a lot for these stuff. We’ll definitely come by next week — me and Harry, just Harry and me.” [Y/N] chuckled nervously again, smiling at the baby.

“I totally understand. Me and Joey were also very tired when we first moved in, hence Sydney.” Karolina laughed. [Y/N] simply chimed in the laughter as well, not wanting to jeopardize a newfound friendship over a joke. “Have a lovely evening, [Y/N]. I’ll see you around!”

When she shut the door with the bag over her shoulder, she jumped in fright at the sight of Harry just behind the door with an amused grin on his face. “What?” said [Y/N] as she rubbed her eyes.

“Husband?” he mused. When she shot him a glare saying not to push it further, he resorted to giggling. “Sorry, my wife.”

“Shut up, Harry,” she said. “Now, where’s that damned mattress?”

“Worry not, I got it upstairs already, all we gotta do now is take a quick shower and go to bed.”

After they finished dressing into more comfortable clothes, they made it a point to plop down as hard as they could on the mattress. To her relief, Harry had settled a plain white bedsheet on top of it earlier while she was talking to Karolina. She was the first to jump in, stretching her legs all over. “Finally!” she exclaimed.

“Your turn,” she said, pointing at a spot right next to her. Harry took off his glasses and was about to jump in next when she asked where the pillows were.

“Er — Accio pillow!” She could hear the sound of boxes moving downstairs bumping each other when a pillow came hurtling in and landed on Harry’s chest, forcing him to plop down on the mattress.

A shrill squeak sounded, and the two of them froze. [Y/N] narrowed her eyes, pointing her finger at him in accusation. “Did you fart?”

“No, we just still haven’t removed the plastic from the mattress.”

“You want to remove it?” she suggested, ready to get up and get her own wand when Harry gently nudged her back down.

“Okay, where’s my wand?“

[Y/N] looked left and right until she found it tying on an old bedside table he managed to set down earlier that day and said, “There! Bedside table.”

“Eh.”

“Agreed, let’s just say you did fart.”

“Agreed,” said Harry, who unconsciously wrapped his legs and arms around the pillow on top of him and closed his eyes to sleep. [Y/N] was quick to act. Not to take his pillow, but to turn him into one — metaphorically, of course. She laughed at the thought of using Transfiguration to turn Harry into a literal pillow.

Just as he wrapped his limbs around the only pillow, [Y/N] did the same to him. He woke up with a jolt, but did not take her off him. “I’m the little spoon?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes, and I happen to like little spoons a lot,” she said casually. Harry turned his head in her direction, with a wide grin on his pretty face. “Okay, that sounded wrong. It’s just that you hogged the only pillow so now I’m using you as one.”

“Well, do you want it?” he offered obliviously.

“Nope, I like this set-up. Go back to sleep.”

And he did — they both did. At some point during the night, they turned each other into a pillow. Harry, however, awoke to the sound of her snoring. It wasn’t like his Uncle Vernon’s, though. Looking at her face seemed to dull it all out. It wasn’t exactly an endearing sound, but the sight of her was more than so — tousled hair, mouth slightly open. . . . With one last smile on his face as he watched her sleep, he felt himself drifting off into a deep slumber.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

A loud clanging from downstairs awoke Harry. Had he overslept? He found that his back ached whenever he did so much as move, but knew better than to bide his time if there was danger nearby. He reached out to the bedside table to grab his wand, but realized he had to put his glasses on first.

Harry ran downstairs, clutching his wand tightly with his outstretched hand as he listened for anything there was to hear. He paused. A stranger walked out of the kitchen, and he pointed his wand at them.

The stranger held their hands up with a bewildered look on their face until [Y/N] came out of the kitchen all sweaty with a frilly apron. “Harry!” she cried in bewilderment at the sight of him pointing his wand at their new neighbor. “Alright, uh, Karolina, this is my husband, Harry; Harry — stop pointing your . . . stick at her — this is our neighbor who lives across from us, Karolina.”

“Er — hello, Karolina. Sorry about the wa—” [Y/N] shot him a dirty look. “—ander. Wander. Sorry about the bad . . . wandering. You know what? I just woke up on the wrong side of bed and I got paranoid with the . . . new house and all.”

“He tends to get jumpy,” said [Y/N] in hopes of wrapping this up immediately. “Anyway, five minutes left till it’s done. Thank you so, so much for the help, Karol! One last thing, for the whipped cream, do I. . .”

He then noticed that some of the furniture were already arranged such as the sofa and the dining table. Some cabinets were decorated with non-magical framed pictures of them. Harry begged to disagree, though. Each picture there was more than just ma— Is that a baby? Sleeping in a car seat on their couch?

Harry blinked. It stirred, eyes fluttering open. Harry was now holding his breath in anticipation. It was watching him curiously. When he did not move, the little thing started to giggle. Smiling sheepishly back, he made a show of raking his hand through his hair and walking into the kitchen.

It was still messy, but the fridge was on now, and some condiments were put where they belonged.

Karolina was washing a bowl on the sink when the baby outside started crying. She washed her hands quick and ran out, excusing herself while smiling apologetically at the two of them.

[Y/N] opened the oven, pulling out something that smelled of a scent that made Harry’s mouth water.

“Is that Treacle Tart?” he blurted out.

[Y/N] almost dropped the pan of delight she held in her mittened hands. She cleared her throat in an attempt to maintain her composure as she set it down on the counter and pulled off her mittens. Still panting, she looked at him and said, “Harry, darling, I love you and all but please step out of the kitchen.”

“Sorry,” he muttered as he pressed a kiss against her head.

“Don’t do that, my hair stinks. I haven’t showered yet,” said [Y/N].

“What do you mean? It smells just fine.”

“Yeah? Well, it’s greasy. Is it greasy?”

“Yeah, you kinda look like Snape from where I’m standing. Ow! Sorry, bad joke. Okay, keep doing what you’re doing while I. . .” he trailed off as he grabbed her wrist gingerly and pulled off the scrunchie off it and started braiding her hair whilst she shook the whipped cream. “Could you just stop moving and let me braid your hair?”

“Oh, shut up! This tart’s for you, anyway.”

“So it is a Treacle Tart?”

“Uh, Doy,” she said mockingly. “It’s for your birthday, genius.”

“But it isn’t till next month,” said Harry.

“Eh, well, thought we could spend some time together in our new house without a crowd for a while. Why’re you even braiding my hair?”

“That baby got me thinking about it,” said Harry, as the child’s sobs started to cease. “You know, like . . . do you think we’re ready?”

“Well, what will be, will be.” She squeezed whipped cream on each side, scanning the final product with narrowed eyes. Harry tied the poorly-done braid with the scrunchie, letting her hair fall down to her back. [Y/N] turned to him. “Honestly, I’m kind of scared about the whole thing, you know? Like, aside from the . . . bloody pushing, it’ll be a huge responsibility. And I want to know if you’re up for it.”

“Okay,” he found himself saying so casually.

“Okay?” [Y/N] repeated to him, with an expression the combination of excitement and disbelief. “Okay as in, ‘okay let’s start trying?’”

“Okay, yes! Let’s start trying now!”

“Okay, but not right now, though,” said [Y/N] under her breath.

“Why not?” he said. Merlin, I have to stop.

“For one, Karolina’s right there at the doorway with Sydney.”

Harry shifted his gaze from [Y/N] to Karolina, who was now trying hard to stifle her laugh with a sleeping Sydney in her arms. “Okay, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear that,” she said with a suggestive smile. “I’ll get going now, [Y/N], Harry.”

“Oh, you won’t try the Treacle Tart out?” called out [Y/N].

“Nah, we’ve eaten a lot of that already. We’re having cheesecake for tonight. Anyway, see you two.” With a friendly wave, she went off her way, leaving the two of them alone in their house.

Harry expected her to berate him, but she was already facing him with a slice of a tart resting neatly on a plate with a lousy candle set in the middle of it. “Make a wish,” she told him.

“Uh. . . I’m bad at wishes, you know that.”

“Then wish to be better at making wishes then make a better wish next month,” she said.

“Okay, I wish to be better at making wishes,” said Harry before blowing the candle out. [Y/N] pulled off the candle and lead him to the living room, where she put down the pan and separated the entire thing to put it on an adorable floral plate she loved.

“Happy super advanced birthday, Just Harry,” said [Y/N], kissing his head this time. “Have some Treacle Tart. I tried, okay?” Laughing, she put a fork on his plate and went to slice one for herself.

“Thank you, soft love,” said Harry as he helped himself to his slice. “Merlin, this is per—”

[Y/N] bursted into laughter, a couple crumbs spitting on the table. She had to get a tissue and wipe the table as she bellowed. “What’d you say?”

“Soft . . . love. Does that mean something bad?”

“No, no, no. It’s just funny to hear it from you. Say it again,” she said, resting her elbow on the top rail of a chair, eager to hear him.

“Soft love?” said Harry hesitantly.

“Oh my— Who told you to say that? Where’d you learn that?” choked [Y/N], wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. “Okay, sorry.”

“Er — you see, before we left to go here, Ron told me to experiment with . . . pet names.”

“So you delivered?”

“Do you not like it?” said Harry, his fork frozen in mid-air.

“Oh, I do. I so do,” she replied, chuckling. “I’ve had enough of tough love, I could use some soft love. But d’you know what it means?”

When Harry shook his head, she took one step forward to run her hand through his hair, grinning. “Means you accept all flaws instead of trying to build up a wall just to better and correct those flaws.”

“Then what’s so funny?” he asked with genuine curiosity rather than annoyance.

“Oh, Harry. Nothing! I just find you trying new stuff very, very amusing. Moving in here was a good choice, you know. Now I get to find out new things about you,” said [Y/N].

Harry smiled back, his cheeks a tad warmer than usual. “So which do you prefer? Tough love or soft love?”

“Eh, a relationship can’t work with just one of the two. Both works. Now eat your slice before we get working on this house,” said [Y/N] as she snapped her fingers, picking up her own plate and savoring her own work. “Chop chop.”

“You mean home?”

“Yep, I mean home,” answered [Y/N] without any hesitation. Oh, and, just one small update: they didn’t remove the plastic wrap of the mattress until next week.

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