#ok this makes me wanna learn bass
THE BASS LINE FOR SNOW GLOBE
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Samoth and Tyr (ex-Borknagar) Interview, 1999. Ft. Samoth being a massive cunt. Part Two.
Here’s the sequel to «Samoth and Tyr (ex-Borknagar) Interview, 1999. Ft. Samoth being a massive cunt. Part One».
I like to start these usually with some background information on the source, but any background information I could possibly offer was already inserted into the first part, you know? It doesn’t feel right to just copy-paste, or transcribe, something of someone else’s and post it online, even though I do it for free, and mostly for myself*. I still want to do something kind of creative with it. The proposed drinking game was probably about as creative as I could get with this though...
Okay, so! I actually saw Emperor live. I got to see them front row, in fact. It was a really good show— I’d love to see them play again.
Any possible commentary is in (parenthesis) and bold. Asterisks below and optional.
Without further ado:
I: Can you tell us anything concerning Thou Shalt Suffer? [Death metal band Thou Shalt Suffer can be seen as the predecessor to Emperor, having both Samoth (Samot) and Ishahn (Ygg) in its line-up. After the band split up, Ihsahn kept the name for his clasically inspired synthesizer project]
S: Yeah, well Ihsahn is still working on it and I mean it seems like an endless project. I don't know when he's actually going to finish it. He's been saying every year, like: "This year I'm going to finish it.", but it's still not finished. I have already heard a little bit, but he's always like, skipping material and making new songs, I really don't.... I'm just gonna check out the album when it's coming out, if ever*...
I: What about the former members, like Ildjarn? Is he still working on his own project, Ildjarn?
S: Well Ildjarn is... I see him now and then. He has a new band - it's a keyboard kind of thing - more atmospheric music, but I don't see him that much. He's a pretty weird guy. And our old drummer [Thorbjørn - ed] is actually our sound engineer for our latest album.
I: For a while you were in many different bands, for a short while - will you do that sort of thing again? Did you leave Emperor to join Burzum in '92?
S: I don't have the time anymore. At that point we had no drummer with Emperor and everything went really slow. So I just had to play something and I joined Satyricon and I played with Gorgoroth and stuff like that. It was just because things was going really slow with my main band. I've never left Emperor. All I did with Burzum was being in the studio for a few hours to do the bass and do drums.
I: About Arcturus - what do you think about their musical development? [Samoth used to play guitars in Arcturus a well. He recorded the legendary "Constellation" demo with this band, which was originally issued in 500 copies on MCD through NAP - later there was also issued a vinyl edition with three bonus tracks, namely the "My Angel" 7-inch and a re-recorded version of "Morax" - Samoth does not appear on these bonus-tracks]
S: I think it's excellent, especially... they made a remix album now a well of the previous album. there's a lot of weird beats and drum and bass samples on it. It's coming out in April, on Garm's label Jester, the same as Ulver.
I: I had heard that they had split up - is that correct?
S: Yeah, I think so, but I think they have been discussing about doing a new album, I mean, I don't know.. these guys are a bit slow...
I: In the "Reverence" video there is a line, "Honour commanded no longer as virtue*", it's part of the lyrics, but it's shown in words on the screen. Why? It seems like an unobvious statement for Emperor. You used to state that honour was really important.
S: It is important to have honour in what you do and it's important to honour and respect the people you ...respect.
I: Then it would be a virtue, wouldn't it?
S: Well... what was the line again? But it is Ihsahn's lyrics, so it would be better for him to explain it in a bigger complex, but I think it has to do with people not putting pride and honour in what they do anymore. People just don't care about nothing.
I: OK...In some earlier interviews you've shown a strong anti-christian attitude...
S: I still have an anti-christian attitude, but it's not something I think that much about these days, anymore. I don't really bother that much about Christians, they're not a big problem for me in my personal life. But to me it's just as normal as eating breakfast to be anti-christian, so I am*.
I: There have been times that you had more radical views, for example what did you want to achieve with the church burnings?
S: Well, I didn't want to achieve anything really. It was just like an extreme statement, I would think. I didn't think it would make any difference in society. It was a destructive act, both for me and everybody else in a way. Probably more for myself...
I: How did the jail sentence influence you as a person and as a musician?
S: Well, I had a lot of time to be for myself for once... But I think of the whole thing as a good experience. I think actually for a lot of people it could do good to be in prison for a while. It kind of puts your life into the good perspective and it's kind of interesting to see life from a different perspective. To be in prison it was totally meaningless - that's the whole point of being in prison: to take away the joy of life and lock you in for a time.
T: You made the instrumental (below) in prison.
S: Yeah, "The Wanderer" from "Anthems...", that was made in prison. And that's completely different from what I usually write.
I: You had a guitar in prison?
S: Yeah, sure.
I: I thought they weren't allowed, because you could hang yourself...
S: No, it was not that extreme...
I: So we might expect more Dissection material as well - as Jon Nödveidt is allowed to have a guitar in prison. What do you think about this whole case?
S: I think it was really stupid actually, because Dissection really had something going. They even had the studio booked and the material finished... and he just had to do this...
I: Do you feel any remorse about the churches and stuff?
I: Do you feel any remorse at all about things you do in life?
S: I mean, I do have feelings of course, but I don't see any point to regret the things I did. I'd rather see it as an experience and learn from an experience rather than "Oh, why did I do that - if I would have done differently..." there's no point. (In other words: no.)
I: It's not some code of honour not to feel remorse?
S: No. It's just a waste of time to feel remorse. I see no point in it to regret the things I've done. I mean you just bring yourself down by feeling too much remorse. What happens, happens - you can't change the past, so.
I: In an interview you made this statement that "you have to be a ruler and think for yourself" and in an interview with your wife Nebelhexe*, she made this statement that the Count had had this big influence on you and that he had got you involved in the church burnings - how do these statements match?
S: Back in '91 and '92 all the people in the so called Black Metal Circle or whatever, were pretty young, so we all were pretty easily influenced. And Vikernes was also very influenced by Euronymous, in the first place. So I think a lot of the stuff that happened back then.. it was like: everybody had extreme ideas and everybody just wanted to be more and more extreme and we all got influenced by each other. And of course Vikernes, he has a very strong personality and he was the one who started with all the extremes, like actually going out and doing it in practice, so I guess he was influential to a lot of peolpe.
I: Was it an important reason to join Burzum - because you were looking up to him?
S: Well I mean, I respected Burzum and I saw this like an honour to join something I respected, but it was not: Wow, I'm playing with Varg Vikernes or something.
I: Are you still in touch with Mortiis? His departure from Emperor wasn't completely 'as friends'...
S: Yeah, he's been living in Sweden for many years, actually. I don't see him often, but his parents are just living a few blocks away. We phone now and then, and the whole is coming along just fine. Concerning his departure, he had a bit of an attitude back the, I guess. And he and Faust also didn't get along that well so it was best thet he would leave and for a while it was maybe a bit touchy, but now it's completely good.
I: What about your future plans?
S: Well the most immediate future plans is to finish this tour and we have a gig in Norway in May and hopefully we're going to do some more Scandinavian shows in Sweden and Finland...We have an offer for the Dynamo-festival in Holland as well, but I mean so far... I would like to - I wanna play a lot more live, but I mean, not everybody in the band is too keen on playing live, so we have to make comprimises. So we are probably going to do an American tour in the summer for three weeks with Dimmu Borgir - that should be a good experience I think. We' re starting to do pretty well in America as well now.
I: Comparing your first gig in Holland in 'de Baroeg' in Rotterdam and the one tonight, I think you have really improved a lot. What do you think yourself?
S: Well that's good to hear. We can still improve a lot I think. I mean when I watch these guys of Morbid Angel, I go: 'Wow, these guys are really good.' I just hope we get the opportunity to play more live and I don't know, improve our live act.
I: Goals for the future?
S: That's difficult. With Emperor we usually make the material for one album and we don't think too much ahead. The latest album has been doing well like all albums and better than expected. In the beginning I guess and we try to support the album by playing live and get more professional. So for the new album we have no new material, really nothing... and Ihsahn is also pretty busy with Peccatum and Thou Shalt Suffer. Peccatum will start working on their 2nd album when the tour is finished.
I: What do you think of Peccatum?
S: I think it's a good album, but I mean it's not an album I wanna play myself on. I think it could have been a lot better with a much stronger production. The production is weak.
T: I think it's... the drum copmuter, I prefer the live drummer feel.
S: Limbonic Art is a band in which I like the use of a drum computer. They do it in a special way. They don't pretend, like... they don't to try to get it to sound like a real drums, they just use the opportunities they have with a drum machine.
T: ...[about Peccatum again] but I still like their live performances. The theatrical style...
S: Yeah, I think Peccatum is actually better live than on CD*.
T: Better singing... more powerful.
I: They have this session guitarist. Didn't Ihsahn consider you to play the guitar for Peccatum?
I: You wouldn't want to do it?
S: Well, I'm not sure if I could do it. I mean some of the stuff is pretty like... technical. I am not adepted to all this technical stuff. I think Peccatum is more technical than Emperor actually.
I: There have been a number of books coming out lately about the years 92-93, like for example "The Lords of Chaos" - is there basically any truth in these books?
S: Well I mean, "The Lords of Chaos" there is some truth in it of course, but I think that book emphasizes a lot on right-wing side of the whole thing - there is a lot of Varg Vikernes in there and also the author [Michael Monian], he is very interested in the political thing. I think he made the black metal thing look much more political then it ever was. Yeah, I can understand that to the outside world, it nearly sounds like mythology, of course - for a young teenager who gets this book it's like: "Wow, this is amazing..", but to me it's like no big deal. I don't think that much about it. People expect me to wake up in the morning and think about this stuff all the time, but I mean it happened many, many years ago...
I: But you wouldn't want the whole scene to turn back again to like it was back then?
S: No, I mean the whole scene has changed and I think people think more individually these days and just do what they feel like and are more honest about themselves and I think that's a good progression. I think it's a bit stupid to think that, "now we are grown up and are descent guys" - that'd seem silly in a way, but I mean back then we were very young and it was kind of obvious that we would have to change. You don't stay eighteen forever. But I am totally respectful to Darkthrone who still represent the essence of true Norwegian black metal, I guess.
I: What is Darkthrone doing these days then? Isn't Fenriz to busy with his other activities - I heard his deejay-ing in some club?
S: I think they actually are getting back together and doing an album this spring. They even have booked a studio and anything. It's true, he's deejay-ing, but he's changing all the time so all of a sudden is like: "OK, we're doing a Darkthrone album now and that's what I do."
I: What is it with all the cover albums you're participating on? Is it just good fun?
S: Well, we get so many offers. So we say like: OK. We have plenty more offers as well, so we just thought like.. when we were in the studio for the new album we recorded a Mayhem one, we did the Thorns vs Emperor, we did a Darkthrone one, so when we are in the studio it's no big deal to just do a cover as well.
I: I also heard you tried out the new studio by recording over tracks. Was the Hellhammer track the first to be recorded there?
S: Yeah it was kind of like that in a way to check out the studio and make sure it was good enough. No, the Hellhammer song wasn't recorded there. It was recorded in our old rehearsing room, just on a four track recorder. We just did that on an evening, we didn't even have a drummer at the time - we just had a guy from Gehenna [Dirge Rep, ed], coming down for a weekend and we said, OK let's do a cover, now and we just did it and they put it out.
I: What do you think of the fact that bands from Italy and France are using Norwegian lyrics?
S: Well. I think it's pretty comical.
I: Do they make sense?
S: Well most of the time they don't make sense. A lot of these countries have quite interesting mythology themselves, so why not use those?
I: Any small bands you could recommend us?
S: There is one called the Myrkskog - they've just signed to Candlelight now actually and they are a pretty good band. [Their guitarist was playing live as a session member with Peccatum, ed]
I: Is there anything you would like to add before closing off?
S: Not really... these carrots are good, that's my final comment! (God, this is so cute but I don’t know why)
T: Not really, no - Just that I love to be on tour and stuff like that... Before I joined with Emperor I had just played out for five times, or something...
That’s all! :)
*I do it because I’ve noticed how many great interviews I’ve lost over the years, due to websites being taken down, or something. Whilst some interviews have been re-shared over numerous platforms and accounts, I like to have my own copy because I know nothing will happen to it. The reason I share it is because I might as well, since I have nothing better to do.
*The mythical ‘Thou Shalt Suffer’ album was released— a year later, in fact. Ihsahn had been talking about it in interviews all the way back in ‘96 too. It’s called ‘Somnium’. It’s not my thing, to be honest. However, I think it’s nice that Samoth let Ihsahn keep the name. ‘Into The Woods of Belial’ was cool though.
*This is such a ridiculous question. It’s very obvious what Ihsahn meant and I feel as though Samoth must’ve been distracted if he was unable to answer it. It’s the latter half of the lyrics that stands to be questioned. 3:17 for lyric, though you’ve likely heard it before: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4FYwz2-_G_4
*I have this strange mental image of Samoth just casually eating cereal with milk that he dyed red with food colouring......
*Funny enough, they divorced a little after this interview too— around the next two years or so, I don’t know exactly when. Samoth later goes on to marry his girlfriend, who was a photographer whilst he was touring with Zyklon back in 2001. In an interview (which no longer exists, unfortunately) Nebelhexe goes on to make a few comments that make it sound like a certain somebody may have had his fingers in a few too many pots....
*The thing about some bands sounding better live than on CD is really true! I once saw this band, ‘Havok’, live (I was at a metal music festival) and I thought they were incredible, but when I listened to their studio releases, I thought it was very weak and boring.
Legal disclaimer: I am not, in anyway shape or form, claiming that Samoth literally cheated on his wife. What I am, however, saying, is that it’s very sus from my very narrow field of vision. This is just a bit of comedy. However, if you are Samoth, or a representative of Samoth, feel to sue me regardless. Please, daddy, it’s all I’ve ever wanted since I was fifteen. I’ll do anything, daddy, ruin my fucking life— take a chainsaw and literally RIP MY FUCKING GUTS— okay, I’ll stop now before anybody thinks I’m being serious.
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Hey is it possible to do a matchup? No rush on getting it done or anything j just wanna give it a shot :)
okay so I literally wrote all this down so I’m not rambling—
My name is Spencer (or I go by Spence, I like nicknames lol they’re cool) & I use he/him pronouns. I’m like 90% I’m into dudes & not girls so preferably a guy for this if you can please
Personality description ig: I’m a living contradiction and that is n o t an understatement. I care a lot about people but rarely do I ever take care of myself (ever), or there’s times when I’m super super quiet and refuse to speak and there’s times you can’t get me to shut up. Also raging superiority but also inferiority complexes. Idk it just works that way. Former gifted kid and live is ✨hell✨ but we’re making it work Y’know
Zodiac: Leo babyyyy
MBTI: INTP (Logician) (basically a smart emotionless bastard lol it’s the life)
Favorite anime is either Disastrous Life of Saiki K, Ouran HS Host Club or Haikyuu
My friends said I remind them of the colors maroon yellow purple & silver
My personal favorite color is probably red/maroon or black idk I wear it a lot
I do this weird thing where I stare into peoples eyes so I can look at their eyes?? Like people’s eyes are so pretty
I would give anything to look like Bokuto Kotaro that’s gender envy right there
Hobbies? I write a lot a lot a lot of fanfic and I’m currently in a compliment war w one of my friends bc were writing comfort fics for each other and I’m losing and it’s not good. Anyway I also do music stuff and can play eight instruments (I just haven’t picked up a few of them in a while—guitar & piano are my main. Sometimes a little bass & ukulele) also I sing
Talents: if like to say my writing? Idk. Music I hope too. I got a couple of subs on YT so apparently I don’t sound like a dying cat 😂
Quick physical desc: 5’10” (or ~177cm depending on if you’re American or not lol), I’m constantly dying my hair different colors but rn it’s naturally dark brown, brown eyes, pale AF because I need to go outside for once in my life
Do I have a type? Idk my mom picks on me for having a thing for blonds but that’s just a preference. I either like the emotionally unavailable ones with daddy issues or the wholesome babies who would just want to cuddle. Depends on my mood.
I hope all this works! Again no rush! Thank you so much!
hey spencer! i match you with ...
alright so i think we all know that he isn’t the brightest when it comes to school so maybe you could help him with that? like honestly just bribe him with cuddles or candy he’s a legitimate man child
omgomgomgomgomg ok so hear me out- hair dying dates ajshosjs
he would love to sit with you and help you dye your hair
he would be totally supportive of any color you choose and might even go as far as to either match you/choose a color to compliment your color
him literally just listening to you either play an instrument or sing (he’d honestly try to learn in secret so he could do your backup stuff for music. like he’s not an amazing singer but he trys)
this boy is 100% on the more cuddly attached boyfriend scale rather than the emotionally unavailable ones with daddy issues
i believe the two of you could just sit on the couch for maybe an hour or two just looking into each other’s eyes (cause both of you got gorgeous eyes)
and if you don’t take care of yourself, prepare to get aggressively yet lovingly taken care of. ok? he will feed you, cook for you, clean, do laundry- literally everything so you could get some rest or take the time to emotionally heal yourself.
he will take care of you. he might not be amazing in the kitchen but he will make you toast and toaster waffles (or he’ll run out to get you something from a store)
nishinoya would 100% read all of your writings if youd let him but like if you don’t want him to thats fine he’s cool with it but he’s still gonna hype you up to his friends like even if he don’t actually know what your stories are about
not to mention he’s an aries and aries are compatible with leos-
so you mentioned having days where your either quiet or loud and i think that he would easily adapt to whatever your feeling!
if your having a day where you feel more quiet, he could easily keep a conversation going with him doing most of the talking
or if you having a day where you feel more talkative, he would happily just sit still and listen to you ramble on throughout the day adding a comment or two whenever he finds it necessary
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Acey's Guitar Clinic
Acey's Guitar Clinic #1 - 29.10.2003
A while back we asked you to send in your guitar-related questions for Acey of The Murderdolls. An online guitar clinic of sorts, if you will.
Acey kindly took some time out to answer a whole bunch of your questions, and here is part 1 of Acey's Guitar Clinic.
1. I wanna start learning guitar but my mum says to start with the acoustic rather than electric which one is easier? - Char
Char- Your mom is DEAD......wrong. It's easier to learn on an electric, plus do you want to play electric guitar or learn Coldplay songs? Parents do this to discourage you and frustrate you. Tell her to give in and get you an electric.
2. I wanna know whether you can use Guitar Pedals for a Bass, cos I use my mates ancient 80's Marshel Overdrive on my bass all the time. Would this be a good idea? - Vamp Bassist
Sure! But the best one to get is either a Big Muff or a Sans Amp Bass DI. they can be kind of expensive, like 100-200 US Dollars, but that's what most people use. But try a few things and see what works. Maybe you like the sound of the Guitar pedal better!
3. What was the first song you ever learned on guitar? - Becky
Wow....I think it was Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin. I don't really like Led Zeppelin, but it was pretty easy.
4. I don't have a clue about pickups...I hear all the different types of pickup like humbucker and stuff but I don't know what they mean?? I would like the sound of Machine Head/Ill Nino etc...I like the sound they get from their guitars it's cool... if it helps I have a 38 watt fender frontman amp, a boss MD-2 mega distortion pedal, and a jim dunlop cry baby. Could you please suggest a good pickup that could give me this sound?
OK a single coil pick up is kind of like the ones found in a Fender Strat. They have one coil in them. This can give you a Jimi Hendrix to Kurt Cobain type of tone. A Humbucker has 2 coils in it. What happens is that you get a 'hum' with one coil. When you have 2 they cancel eachother out. Hence the name 'Humbucker'. Those kind of look like 2 single coils put together. NOW....for Metal there are two ways you can go. Active and Passive. Active pickups run off of a 9 volt battery that is stashed someplace in the body of the guitar. The Battery powers an onboard pre-amp. It's all tiny and you cant see any of it. Guys who use Active pick ups are Zakk Wylde, Dino from Fear Factory, lot's of Metal guys swear by them. That's all Joey uses...there is a good chance that the guys in Machine Head and Ill Nino use them as well. EMG makes the best Active pick up for Metal. Passive pick ups are normaly a little more smooth sounding. Slash, Dimebag and Dave Navaro uses them and so do I. I love Seymour Duncans and also stock Gibson pick ups. For metal I would suggest the Duncan Distortion, Invader, Dimebucker or even the JB model. I use the JB and so does Wayne Static and Slash. check out SeymourDuncan.com it's a great site. SOOOO.... what should you use? I like passive, but when I record I try to double everything with an Active Pick up Guitar just for different textures. Check out the Duncan site and see if any of your favorite players are on there. I'll bet they are.
Tune in next Wednesday for Acey Slade’s Guitar Clinic Part 2!
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Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.
Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?
Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.
Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.
Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.
Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?
The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.
The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .
Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)
Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.
Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .
Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸
yes ok so loooong post ahead people
oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)
haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol.
haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take
ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao
ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao
haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao
hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol
haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot
yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao
yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes
ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10
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I KNOW I'M DOING THIS WRONG BUT LIKE HEAR ME OUT like I was reading your ask game and I saw the "Fade into the night" which was very creative btw! This isn't technically like a selfship but imagine being a top student, in the seventh class, and also a student council. You're forced to be a tutor for Bokuto Koutaro. You're against the idea because you're in the seventh class and you have to study for the exam so you can go to that dream college you've always wanted to go. You agreed to teach Bokuto anyway because the teacher agreed to give you an extra credit. You hate him at first because you thought it was a waste of time for you to teach someone like him, but slowly you learn how he is so caring, so generous, so honest, and so optimistic. When you felt like giving up, he would always cheer you up. He is trying to help you like how you helped him. He even helps you more than you helped him, he taught you how to stay optimistic in your darkest day, he taught you how straight As isn't everything, he taught you how nobody is perfect. Another thing he taught you but he never realized he did was teaching you how to love. In the end of your movie, you and Bokuto would be standing at the airport, he needed to leave to follow his dream. You would be confessing to Bokuto how thankful you are for his existence, thankful for how he taught you more than you could ever teach him and most importantly, you're thankful for how him just being himself taught you how to love. For the song that would be playing in the end, it's "Love like you" from Steven Universe. (I chose this song because of the lyrics, "I always thought I might be bad now I'm sure that is true cause I think you're so good and I'm nothing like you" and "I could do anything I would even learn how to love like you") The music plays in the background quietly as the plane takes off before the screen fades to black. Idk it's currently 1 am where I live and I am not even sure if the grammars are correct. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS TOO LONG SO FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS, ITS OKAY REALLY. I just wanna share some ideas lol. <3333 (and yes I'm the same anon who requested love like you for harmonium)
It’s ok, I love that you already had an entire narrative! And it’s such a sweet scenario, and I could totally see it happening with Bokuto! I think it makes sense if you consider that the song kind of swings from light, very airy notes (that’s Bokuto’s bubbly personality) to the shy, grounded bass notes (?) and hesitant lyrics (which in turn represent the reader coming out of their shell)! And the way the story ends with this makes it sound like a fond memory; it’s not a summer fling or a love gone wrong, but an innocent and sweet but short first love that paves the way for other loves! It’s not the ultimate happy ending that you’d expect, but it’s more hopeful, which seems to suit Bokuto!
Madam Cupcake Series: Part 6 - Madam(m)
Pairing: Jungkook!idol x fem! reader, ft. Taehyung!idol, Rain
Genre: Heavy Angst, SMUT, fluff (in that order)
Word count: 15.3k
Summary: Jungkook is in your bed, memories of former lovers on your mind and Taehyung is blowing up your phone. Then two deals are offered, but only one of them you were expecting.
Part Six of Madam Cupcake Series.
I suggest reading the series because this explains why reader, aka Madam, doesn't do relationships.
Warnings: Rape (not glorified at all or romanticized, truly sad), Domestic violence, Teen pregnancy, miscarriage, toxic relationships, ugly breakups, crying, drinking, weed, mentions of casual sex, fem receiving, fingering, ass licking, dick stroking, cum, raw unprotected sex, competitive dom Jungkook.
AN: More is revealed about Madam, (the readers sexual persona) and how she's built. I know this long, but I felt it was necessary since there are really sensitive themes and I feel like it would be a disservice to try and breeze over them quickly. I got emotional writing this. To anyone who has been a victim of rape, domestic violence or a toxic relationship, experienced an miscarriage or had to make the hard choice of having to terminate a pregnancy, just know that there is someone who hears you, you story is important.
Radiohead inspired some of this. I think I listened to Talk Show Host eleventeen times while writing this: This line.. "I want to...I want to be someone else or I'll explode…" that line hits. I also have links to other songs in sections that helped me formulate my thoughts.
Thanks for reading, enjoy.
Madam Cupcake Series:
PREVIOUS - Stay
Jungkook was sleeping peacefully beside you. His light snores making you itch as his hand lies across your waist.
What the hell are we doing? Madam questions.
You scoot away from his form and his hand slips from your waist as Jungkook rolls onto his back.
You're fucking weak, that’s why I handle the hookups.
It's almost that time of the month, you know I get sappy before the flow.
This isn't how we do things, not anymore.
Remember what happened when you let your feelings get in the way.
You come to a sitting position, fingertips rubbing your temples as you internally debate with your Madam.
You look down at Jungkook's sleeping form and you feel yourself on the edge of wanting to lay down with him and wanting to flee from your own home.
There were only two times that you felt this soft for someone and each time things got so messy.
[Music Suggestion: Lose My Breath by Destiny’s Child]
The first time was when you were seventeen. Candice had invited you to a party thrown by some popular guys at your high school.
"Girl, you gotta go! I heard Mark is gonna be there." Candice says as she wiggles her eyes at you.
"Besides you need to cut loose before we graduate." She continued as she painted her nails a blush pink, laying on your floor as you listened to your go to Beyoncé mix CD.
"I'm not sure my parents will let me go. They're pissed that my grades dropped a bit." You pout as you fix the smeared toe polish on you pinky toe.
"What's the big fucking deal anyway? You already got accepted to KTU and you've practically been an angel in their eyes," she huffs as she plants the nail brush into it's bottle and begins blowing onto her nails.
"I know. But we can thank my idiot brother for being a fuck reason. Asshole lost his scholarship his second year because he partied so hard," you bitch as you extend your legs and wiggle your toes to admire the pale blue hue of your toes.
"Cute, bae," Candice oohs, as she sits up to take in the color. "I'm gonna try that color next time."
"Yeah, well how about this? You could sleepover my house and then we can go par-tay, Ayeeee!" Candice throws her hands in the air.
"Oh fuck I think I messed up my paint, she grumbles suddenly eyeing her thumbnail closer for inspection.
"Anyway let's have some fun. It's our fucking senior year, we graduate in two months, we'll be attending KTU in less than five moves, and then after that our lives will be over!" Candice lists before falling back dramatically.
"Ok bitch I'm convinced. Can you fucking stop yelling? I can't hear Beyoncé."
"Okay I'll shut my dumb ass up. Can't desecrate the vocals of Beyoncé."
"All hail the queen. All hail!"
You both laugh as you dance terribly to the Destiny’s Child track.
And the plan was go, Candice and her wonderful plans.
You would tell your parents that on Saturday you’re sleeping at Candice's house Saturday, then sneak out to Justin's party (most popular boy in your school) before you actually slumbered.
The parents bought it hook line and sinker. And you packed your bags, making sure to shove all your scandalous articles of clothing deep into your bag and wore the most comfortable pair of clothing you could find when you wished them goodbye to walk to Candice's.
"Ayeeee, it's my best friend!" She exclaims when she pulls the door open.
"Damn bish your voice carries. Thanks for letting my parents know that I made it here safely." You laugh as you stroll past her.
"You love me."
"I really do," you giggle as you make your way to her room.
"Whoa, who vandalized your room?" You ask as you eyes take in the clothes piling her bed, the makeup covering her desk and the shoes strung across the floor.
"I don't know what to wear," she whines.
"I really want Justin to notice me tonight," she shares as she rushes to her bed and picks up two dresses and presses them to her body.
"Should I go for a dress? A mini skirt, what?!"
You drop your bag to the floor and grab her by the shoulder to make her look at you.
"Listen to me. I got you. You're gonna look so fucking good Justin isn't gonna notice anyone else," you encourage.
She nods emphatically and you both go over options.
It was cute to see Candice so worked up about a guy. While Justin was wildly popular at school, you and Candice social ranking fell somewhat in the middle of the barrel.
"Know her face but don't know name" status.
But Justin began talking to Candice, in her Calculus class and then began texting her when he hit her up for her number just in case he needed help with an assignment. And this week they kept eye fucking every time they passed in the hallways. To say the least the tension was REAL.
You turn around and let out a low whistle. "You look great babe. Justin's gonna pop a boner when he sees you."
Candice did look great, wearing a black and white tooth-hound pleated miniskirt, with a short sleeve, fuzzy baby pink crop top and black combat boots.
“Thanks I've got the best wing woman. And bitch you look fierce."
You decided on a baby blue square cute mini dress, that had a teeny slit on the thigh and paired it with some white converse.
You and Candice learned that you must have shoes you can at least run in if you go to a house party. You never know when you need a fast getaway from the cops or dodge a handsy guy.
Candice reaches into the back of the closet and produces a small bottle of tequila.
"Only one for the road," you wince as you drink from the bottle.
"Only one," she agrees before taking her own gulp.
You both cough and then gather your purses, making sure you had what you needed- keys, money, charged phones, condoms, breath mints and mace.
Once fully prepared you set off walking toward Justin's since he only lived a mile away.
"So remember our rules," Candice begins as you walk with purpose along the road.
"Never leave a bitch behind. Never turn your phone off or on vibrate. Never accept an already poured drink from anyone except from me. And use protection."
You both high five and begin dancing to the songs playing from your phone. As you got closer to Justin's house you could hear the faint sound of the bass and cars lined up around the street, hordes of people headed to the same direction.
"Buckle up bish, it's gonna be a wild ride!" Candice shouts.
Candice was making out with Justin, in front of everybody, the girl had no shame. But in this case why should she have any?
They were on a bench in the backyard and she was straddling him as they made out sloppily. You sat on the steps of the wooden porch casually speaking to a girl from your English class while you shared a joint you rolled.
[Music suggestion: flowers by In Love With a Ghost]
"Hey," you look over your shoulder as a handsome guy with broad shoulders took a seat on the other side of you.
"Can I have a toke?" He asked, looking at the joint in your hand.
"Well sharing -is- caring...but I will need your name first."
His blue eyes widened and sparkled.
"Wow, do you hit on all the guys that ask to smoke with you? Is that your party trick?" He smirks.
"Reserved for the cute ones only," you flirt as you take another puff.
He laughs and holds out his hand.
"I'm Zach. And your name is?” He asks smiling widely, his dimples coming out to play.
You don’t give him your hand, but extend the J to him instead, "Y/N."
English class girl is forgotten as you get roped into talking to Zach, you couldn't look away from him, he was beautiful.
And when he pressed his shoulder against yours you could feel his muscles. He looked like he walked off an Abercrombie & Fitch ad.
"You don't go to Maple High obviously. So what brought you here?" You question as you sip on your beer while keeping an eye on Candice as she sucks Justin’s face.
Zach rubs his forehead.
"I mean I did...a few years ago, but I graduated. I think I saw you around a couple of times," he hums as he looks at you from the corner of his eye and then resting his elbows on the step above.
You feel your cheeks heat up. Surely you would have remembered this level of hotness.
"I-i'm sorry but I don't remember you."
"It's cool. People say that all the time. I guess I look different these days." He laughs, looking toward the crowd in the backyard.
"So are you going to KTU now?"
He pauses to take a sip of his beer before turning to you, “Nah, college isn't for me. I work construction for Justin's dad these days. Justin told me about the party he was throwing. And here I am."
Somebody stumbles down the steps and their beer pours all over your shoes.
"The fuck?" you screech standing up. They mumbled a sorry before walking off into the house.
"Well the night is about to get interesting. You good?" Zach asks, standing next to you with his hands in his pockets, looking at the drunkard then at you.
"Yeah I'm fine," you seethe, stomp your beer logged Converses, yuck.
"Wanna move somewhere else to talk. Where’s the less people?" He questions, eyes shining brightly as he takes you in.
"Like where?" You eye him suspiciously.
"Whoa, not like a bedroom or something," Zach chortles as he holds his hands up.
"Justin has a pretty cool gazebo further back, wanna see it? I can grab a few more beers...we can talk more?"
You look at where he's pointing and see it just beyond where Candice and Justin are practically humping at this point.
You nod, removing your wet shoes and then sending a quick text to your friend.
You: Going to Gzbo??? with Zach, blue eyes, A&F model.
Zach rejoins you with four cans of beer in his hands and shoots you a dimpled smile when his eyes land on you.
"It's just a few yards down," he nods and the two of you walk through the grass. You make sure you come into Candice's view to catch her eye.
As you pass her, you look over your shoulder and see her looking at you, pausing her makeout session with Justin.
Within a minute a shape of a gazebo appears and you sigh in relief.
“I told ya, there was one back here,” He smugly says as he plops down on the wooden floor setting the beers next to him. You join him easily, throwing your shoes to the side, and placing your purse close to you..
He hands you a beer and you take it gladly, popping it open and taking a drink and he soon follows suit.
From there you begin to talk about life, your plans for the future and your home life.
"I'm nervous about going to college, but I'm excited to get out of my parents house," you sigh as you lean back on your hands, feeling wonderfully buzzed.
"Don't be nervous, I think you'll do great. And honestly moving out of my parents house was the best decision I've made so far," he muses as he stares at his beer before taking a sip of it.
"Theeee best?" you accuse, nudging his shoulder.
"Yeah well it was.." Zach confirm as he turns to look at you.
"I think the best decision now is coming to this party and meeting you," He smiles shyly, looking away from you and scratching his chin.
You giggle and then giggle some more until you're full out guffawing.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," you say trying to collect yourself as he looks at you with bewilderment.
"That was so fucking cheesy," you sniff trying to reel you giggle in.
He's laughing with you now.
“It was. But it's still true."
You stop laughing when you notice he’s no longer laughing with you, and look up at him and see the most sincere warm look on his face.
"You're beautiful when you laugh." He admits studying your features.
And then you say nothing. It's silent except for the faint sounds of the party mixing it with the chirping of the crickets.
“Can I kiss you?”
You nod and he immediately leans in and presses his lips to yours, he tasted like beer and candy as his tongue slides against yours, his warm hand cupping your face.
He pulls back, biting his lip.
“God you're so beautiful. I do remember you from high school. I do, you used to wear glasses back then and used to carry a cherry red backpack.”
You blush and peck him on the lips again and he leans into it.
It’s true you used to wear glasses and schlepped around a red backpack.
Zach backs away from you.
“What’s wrong?” you ask and you can see he’s tugging down his shirt to hide his erection, it's a cute gesture.
“If we start kissing again I may never wanna stop,” he whispers as runs his hands through his hair, with lust hooded eyes staring at your lips and his biceps seem strong, evident in the moonlight.
“What's wrong with kissing someone forever,” you murmur as you lean into him again, bringing your hand into his hair and tugging him toward you as you lips find his and they begin to dance uncoordinatedly . It was messy and hot.
His muscular arms pull you onto him, so that you're straddling him and you can feel him hard under you as he gropes you needily. Both of you are panting and he’s mouthing at your neck and telling you are beautiful.
And before you know it he's rolled you on to your back, he’s grinding into you harder and moaning that he wants to feel you.
Everything is happening so quickly you don't know which way is up. His hands are hot and everywhere, they’re under your dress pulling down your panties, his fingers inside you as he marks your neck. His legs press you thighs apart and suddenly you feel him pushing himself into you.
You say stop and Zach only pushes further.
“Zach wait,” you beg,”needa condom” you slur out.
But you can tell he's lost now, only thinking about his need. He's invading you and you try to push him off of you and you say no but he doesn't stop.
You push against him, you try to squirm away, you even try to scream, but he’s putting all of his weight on you that you can do nothing but lay there underneath him.
And then you are numb as he uses your body, getting off fastly and releasing into you messy with a gasp.
When he pulls out of you he kisses your cheek and mutters that you were awesome as he puts himself back into his jeans.
And you go through the motions of putting your panties back on and then your soggy shoes.
You wince at the pain in your core and the stickiness between your legs as he helps you up from the floor.
Did he just rape me? I kinda wanted to sleep with him... but I wanted to use a condom...was I just raped?
You pick up your purse and pull out your phone as you walk across the lawn and see a text from Candice.
CBish: Let me know if he gets handsy. I’ll cut off his dick.
“So can I have your number?” he asks as you finish reading her text. He hands you his phone and his elbow nudges into which makes your skin grow cold.
But you give it to him.
Surely it wasn't rape if he's asking for your number?
When you see Candice again she has marks on her neck. "Looks like we both had a great night," she crows as looks at your neck before throwing her arm around it.
You smile to her tightly, your emotions of guilt, shame, confusion tangling in your gut.
“I'm tired. Are you ready to go?”
She agrees and you walk back to her house silently as she regales you with all the details of her hookup with Justin.
And when you reach her house and get settled into her bed, you lay still waiting to hear her soft snores before you creep quietly to her bathroom and finally let yourself cry.
[Music Suggestion: Jealous Guy by John Lennon]
When you wake up the next day you see a text from an unknown number.
Unknown Number: Hey Y/N, it’s Zach. I hope this is your real number. Anyway I just wanted to say I had a great time with you last night. I was hoping I could take you out sometime. Anyway I hope you have a good day. :)
But you were at odds with yourself. You were attracted to him, you liked him, you wanted to kiss him, hell you thought about going all the way. But you didn't think it would happen like that. It was like he didn't care at all that you were the one under him.
Candice asked you what happened with Zach and you admitted you had sex with him but you left out many details, the details that made you uncomfortable. But you did tell her you had unprotected sex and you just too caught up in the moment.
She chastised you but agreed to go with you to buy an emergency contraceptive pill at the local pharmacy and both of you celebrated when you got your period five days later.
Zach was relentless in his pursuit of you.
He contacted you every day saying he couldn't stop thinking about you, that liked you and he really wanted to take you out on a date. And when you told him he took things too far that night, he immediately apologized.
Saying he drank too much and smoked too much weed and that he just read you signs wrong. Said he wasn’t like that all and he wanted to make it up to you, to show you he was really a good guy.
So you let Zach take you out to the movies and after he took you to the Cheesecake Factory and let you order whatever you wanted. He was polite, he kept his hands to himself, not even trying to kiss you when he brought you back home.
And after that date, he continued to call and text you, he would ask you how your day was and you would tell him.
Zach asked you out again and you agreed. This time he took you on a picnic and you have sex in his car, he holds you tight and tells you, you're the only girl he'll ever need in his life.
Before you know it you're calling him your boyfriend, he's picking you up after school and you’re hanging out at his place all the time.
Candice begins giving you shit because you hardly hang out with her anymore. But you tell her that you're in love with Zach and that's what happens when you're in love, you spend time with that person.
And then one night Zach begs you to not make him wear a condom. He looks into your eyes and says he wants to feel fully the woman he wants to marry, for there not to be any barriers between you.
You give in. Again and again, you give him your body and a piece of your heart.
[Music suggestion: Anthems for a Seventeen Year‐Old Girl, by Broken Social Scene]
One summer night after sneaking back from Zach's, your parents corner you and ask you where you've been. You say Candice, they say you're lying because they went by Candice's and you weren't there.
They pull up text messages from the cell phone company and ask you who Zach is, why they've never met him. You tell them from school. They call you on your bullshit again because your brother knows Zach, told them he was twenty-three and not attending college but had a job construction worker.
All hell breaks loose, they demand you to stop seeing him, declare you don't know what you're getting yourself into.
But I do.
You tell them you're eighteen and about to go to college and they couldn't control your life. They forbid you to see him and if you choose him then you could stay with him.
And you do. You move out of your parents home and move in with Zach. Candice tries to reason with you but you told her she doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. She's never been in love, how the hell could she advise you on a subject she knows nothing about?
She doesn’t understand.
It was a typical day living with Zach, you were eating your favorite breakfast cereal when strong wave of nausea hits you. Running into the bathroom to vomit what you already consumed, you looked at yourself when you realized you hadn't had a period for while, like you're two weeks overdue.
Freaking out, you immediately call Zach and tell him you think you may be pregnant. He soothed you, telling everything would be okay and that he would buy a test after work.
Together you both stare at the test as the two lines appear.
Zach begins yelling with joy, he's picking you up and swinging you around and you're crying but you can't tell if they're tears of happiness or fear.
"I got something for you mama," Zach whispers into your ear the next morning as you lie next to him.
"It better be a donut," you hum, turning toward him with your eyes still closed.
"Close, but you may not want to eat this," he laughs.
You open your eyes and see him next to you holding a ring in his hands
“Marry pretty mama. Be mine forever," Zach implores, his eyes full of tears.
You happily agree.
When Candice picks you up for freshman orientation a few weeks later you show her your ring with a bright smile on your face.
"That's great Y/N! I'm happy for you," she offers with a smile, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.
You haven't told her about the pregnancy yet, you were still trying to figure how to tell her. You have a feeling she's thinks you're stupid now. And maybe you are but you are so clouded with love uncertainty you're not sure how to make things right with her.
"So do your parents know?" She asks as she pulls into the college parking lot.
"About what?" You shoot back nervously.
She eyes you, "you're engagement," nodding toward the ring on your finger.
"No, not yet. I will tell them though," you agree as you chew on your lips.
"Ok...so did you set a date?"
"Honestly, Candice I'm just trying to make it freshman orientation," you irritably reply.
"Shit sorry bitch. You seemed excited I just wanted to know details, bu-"
"I'm sorry. I really am. I'm just stressed with everything that's going on. Zach would like to be married before the end of the year but I want to wait."
Candice looks at your and her face is full of concern. "You know I'm always here for you Y/N anytime you need...for anything you wanna talk about," she offers as she parks the car and pins you with a look.
"I know…" you reply, scurrying out of the car, "let's go, we're gonna be late."
"When had that ever been a concern of yours before she countered," with a laugh.
That evening, you're eager to share with Zach all the things you discovered and all the people you meet as you slurp the only thing your body can handle, chicken noodle soup.
Zach's looking at you and you can tell he's annoyed.
"What's wrong Zach," you ask as you look at his plate and notice his sandwich is untouched.
"You're still gonna go to KTU?" He guesses in disbelief.
"Yeah babe, I mean I have a four year scholarship, why wouldn't I go?" You chirp, smiling at him.
'Because you're pregnant and about to be my wife." he scoffs as his eyes narrow on you as he sipping his beer.
"I mean we have like seven months before the baby comes and KTU has an awesome online proga-"
"I'm sorry maybe I didn't make myself clear," he grits out as he stands from the table to dumping his sandwich into the trash.
"You're not going," he commands ad he turns to you, crossing arms over his chest.
"What do you mean? I want to go," you whisper, really confused at the turn of events.
"And I said you aren't. I forbid it." He says coldly, his eyes just as icy as his voice.
"Excuse me," you ask standing up and Zach approaches you slowly.
“Zach, you can't tell me what-" your words are cut off, as Zach's hands are now firmly around your throat, squeezing hard on your trachea.
You quickly claw at his hands, trying to pry them from your neck .
"I will tell you what to do. You're under my roof. I pay for everything for you. You will listen to what I say," He shouts as he pushes you to the ground by the neck.
"You will withdraw from KTU or you can get the fuck out you whore," He screams tugging you to stand again by pulling you at the root of your hair.
"Do you have anything else to say you fucking whore? That's what you are right? That's what everybody thinks," he yells before his palm strikes your face making you fall on the floor with a thud.
You are crying and pleading him to stop, having no idea why he's being like this. You're not even sure what set him off so much.
You scramble on your hands and knees from him, inching yourself to the bedroom, hoping you can make it there and lock yourself inside.
But he's on top of you before you even try to close the door.
"Don't fucking run away from me," He shouts as he slams you on the bed.
"This is what you want right? To be treated like this?" He asks as he rips your pants off as the other one holds your arms down.
"I try to treat you nice after I fuck you and this is what I get?" He asks as he forces himself into you. You beg for him to stop.
"You only ask me to stop when I treat you like the whore you are," Zach snaps, his body taking all it’s anger on yours.
And you go numb once again, this time remembering the first time he took you only this felt worse, only confirming what your gut was telling you months ago and you had blatantly pushed away.
This isn't love.
When Zach passed out after getting his release, you get up to use the restroom and see your body covered in bruises and when you sit to pee you notice blood.
You tiptoe to your phone and pull up Candice's contact and text her:
You: I need you.
[Music suggestion: Silent All These Years, by Tori Amos]
The next morning, Zach wakes you with sweet kisses and tells you he's sorry, that he just had a bad day and that he thinks you should still go to KTU if that's what makes you happy.
You hug him and tell you love him too when gets ready he leave a for work. As soon as he leaves you go back into the bathroom and notice that the sanitary napkin you placed between your legs is soaked with blood.
Candice calls as you're balling in the corner of the bathroom.
"Holy fuck, what's wrong Y/N?"
"I'm in trouble Candice and I dunno what to do," you wail.
"I'll be right there."
When Candice gets there, she tells her you need to get to the emergency room as she helps you into the car.
She says nothing about the bruises on you neck and face, she just drives while rubbing your back.
When you get to the hospital you tell them you're two months pregnant and that you're bleeding heavily.
They bring you back and they examine you but you already know. You fucking know before they tell you that you are losing the baby.
A doctor comes up to you and tells you there's no viable way to keep the baby. They tell you there's nothing they can do except give you pain meds as your baby is expelled from your body. They also asked you if you wanted to talk to a domestic abuse counselor, taking note of the bruises on your body and you turned them down.
Then they recommend you make an appointment with your doctor in the next few weeks to make sure everything came out okay.
You don't cry when they tell you.
You just listen and nod.
Candice doesn't say a thing either as you walk back to her car.
She starts the car and she sits with you in silence as you mindlessly hum along with radio.
[Music Suggestion: Talk Show Host by Radiohead]
"What should I do?" You ask her.
What do you feel like you wanna do? She asks looking out the windshield
You shrug and then you begin to tell her everything. Every little fucking thing that you had been keeping from her for months.
From the first time Zach raped you at Justin's party and then about the night before and everything in-between, how you were feeling shame and confusion and oddly love toward the man.
And you confess you were happy about the baby.
That you wanted to keep them. And now it seems like you lost everything, everything in a span of a few months.
And when you're done, you're both sobbing and clinging together tightly.
"I don't know what to say, I don't know how everything got so messy, so fucked up," you whimper.
"Let's start with the first topic, "Candice begins.
"Do you want to stay Zach?"
You shake your head no.
Now that you were losing the baby, the baby you were looking forward to, you were too scared to stay with him, too scared of what he may do next.
"You know I got you, right?"
“I can help you but we have to pack everything and leave today. You can't go back to him. If you do it could mean your life. Are you sure you want to leave today right now?” She asks looking at the clock.
“Yes I want to leave.”
“What time does he get home from work?”
“We've got five hours. We gotta go," she finishes. On the way back to Zach’s Candice calls up her mother and asks her if you could stay with them for a few weeks and her mom agrees.
You get both to Zach’s and she has you sit down as she begins gathering your clothes, shoes and everything else you point out, into garbage bags.
“Anything else?” She wonders, looking around the small space.
“If I haven’t remembered it yet, it’s probably not important,” you admit. In all honesty you didn’t bring much with you when you left your parents home. You only took some things, although Zach had bought you a few items over the weeks.
“Are you ready?” She anxiously asks, looking at the clock, noting time. It was a quarter to 5:00p.m.
You say yes and stand up as you look around the place you called home for few months, but you were happy to be leaving it even though the love for Zach still remained despite what he had done to you the night before.
Looking down, you see the ring he gave you on your finger and slip it off, placing it on the kitchen next to the place he hit you.
For the following days you stay with Candice's family and then one day your parents show up and bring you back home.
There's no discussion about about you leaving their home, no discussion about a miscarriage and no discussion about Zach.
[Music Suggestion: Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears]
The second time things got messy when you got soft was your third year of college.
You met Rain in a marketing lecture, catching your eye when asked the professor on the importance of KPIs.
Not only was he smart, but he wildly handsome. He was tall, lean but well built and he had the prettiest smile.
When the two of were put into a group to pitch a marketing campaign (the two of you doing the brunt of the work), he asked you if you wanted to get dinner sometime and you hesitantly accepted.
You had somewhat dealt with the psychological stuff Zach had done on you, seeing a therapist for over a year after harassed you for a good sixth months when you left him. You finally got a restraining order on him and relented to changing your beloved phone number, but it was needed for a fresh start..
But you still carried the emotional toll with you. Not all the time, mostly whenever a guy wanted to take you out or showed an interest in you.
You wanted to know their motive because you felt like every one of them had one.
And when you went to dinner with Rain you tried to find his. You prodded him with questions about his family and his friends and asked him what the goals were. He was straightforward with you.
"I'm really close to my dad, my mom died a few years ago from breast cancer."
"I was in the army for a few years, and I was able to come to the college thanks to it. I'm still really close to a few people I served with but I don't keep in contact with many people I grew up with."
"I want to have my own company one day. I've spent so many years listening and working for others I just want to do my own thing, ya know?"
You loved how open he was and he seems to get you, even made you laugh when he joked that the dinner felt a little bit like an interview.
But nonetheless, after dinner Rain told you he had a great time and would love to do again some time.
You couldn't help but agree.
The two of you would go to the movies, walk around campus and talk and grab the occasional lunch and dinner. He would sometimes hold you hand or wrap his arm around you but other than that he never tried anything and for that you were grateful.
It was like he could sense your need to take it slow.
And when you opened up to Rain about your past one late evening as you sat on the floor of your dorm drinking coffee, he listened carefully. He didn’t ask questions, he did add commentary just looked at you and listened.
When you finished, he just put his arms around you and held you.
After that night, you told Rain that you liked him, liked him a lot, and he confessed the same.
You couldn't place it but Rain just being with so different, not just from Zach but any other guy you dated. He continually put you first, he showered you with gifts, catered to almost every whim you had and made love to you tenderly.
"What do you think of us living together?" Rain asked one night as cuddled on his couch, watching TV together.
He started chuckling.
"I felt every muscle in your body tense up. That can't be a good sign"
You pushed off of him and sat up.
"I'm not sure," you reply honestly, playing with your fingers.
Rain sat up as well, keeping his eyes on you.
"I mean you don't have to decide today," he says pacing his palm on your thigh and rubbing it back and forth.
"I was just thinking that we're about to graduate and it could save some money. And we're together almost all the time." He counts off his fingers, like he been thinking it over..
The two had been together for about a year and you had already revealed that you think marriage is antiquated and you really didn't want kids. He said he understood after everything you've gone through with Zach.
Even though you never made living together a thing, it suddenly felt like one.
"Give me a few days think it over?" You ask biting your lip.
He simply nodded and then pulled you back to him to lie down with him and cuddle.
You did move in with Rain, just week after graduation. And although it made you uneasy at first, living with Rain was just as easy as loving him.
You had your job and he had his own. At the end of the day you would lie down together and in the morning you woke up beside him
Rain's friends became your friends and your friends became his. You partied hard and began to get a true sense of who you really were and the thoughts of Zach were buried in the back of your mind as your life progressed with Rain.
And you lived happily together for over three years, the idea to create a company took place over your weekly Chinese takeout and a bottle of wine.
"I really think we can do this."
"I know we can," he agreed, clinking his glass of with yours.
"As long as you're by my side we will fucking be great. We can build an empire," he giggled.
And you did. You built a fucking company. Just the two of you after hundreds of hours of research, multiple meetings with banks for a small business loan, you created a company on teaching entrepreneurs how to brand their own companies online.
The company began with just you and Rain and then grew to ten employees and then twenty within a span of a year.
But as the saying goes, alls well until it ends well.
[Music Suggestion: This Mess We're In by PJ Harvey ft. Thom Yorke]
The decline of your relationship with Rain began after his twenty-eighth birthday party.
The both of you cuddling after a wild sex fueled by booze. He was snuggled against you, nuzzling his nose in the nape of your neck and his hand was caressing neat circles on your tummy.
“I bet you would look so pretty carrying my baby,” he murmured as he kissed the sling of your shoulder.
“I mean you’re already beautiful, but man, I bet you would be stunning," he sighed.
You didn’t say anything, only put your hand on his to stop him from rubbing your stomach like you already had his baby in your womb.
“Having one kid wouldn't be too bad right? You wouldn't be outnumbered,” he chuckled and you joined him, thinking they were just tipsy words spilled after a lustful moment.
But as Rain fell asleep comfortably that night, you tossed and turned.
The moment was forgotten by him the next day. Or so it had seemed.
He didn't say anything in the morning. Not that day or the day following or the day after that.
But then it happened again while you two were grabbing ice cream, a family walked in and a little boy being carried by his dad waves at you when you walked by.
"Aww," Rain cooed as you exited the shop. "I wonder what our son would look like." You said, nothing only licked at your cone as you walked ahead.
And what would be a one off occurrence became a weekly thing. Him making some remake about a wedding, or marriage or a family.
You didn't know what to say. So you chose to say nothing, just pretend it didn't happen, took it as a joke.
But then there was the drive home after having dinner with Rain's dad.
You were humming along to some song on the radio, your hand on his lap as he stroked it with his thumb loving as Rain navigated the car.
"I really want to marry you someday. Ya know, make it official. I think you would sound good with my last name attached to you," Rain says softly as he pressed a small kiss on your hand, looking over at you as he drove.
As he spoke, warning bells rang in your head.
"It would make my dad happy too. He loves you, you know?"
"I like your dad too."
"He makes a mean burger," you reply patting your stomach.
"What about your parents?"
"My parents burgers are average at best," you say as you lean your head on the headrest.
He laughs again.
"That's not what I meant babe. I mean wouldn't your parents love to see you married?" He asked.
Rain wanted more in his life and what he wanted and what you wanted in life was different.
It was becoming more and more obvious each passing day.
How many times could you argue that you didn't want to get married before you caved? And what about children? The thought never even crossed your mind over the years.
You smiled tightly and shrugged your shoulders. "My parents would probably be thrilled," you agreed.
Letting those be the last words you uttered as you stared out the car window knowing exactly what you needed to do.
You had spent so much time laying out the ground rules for you that you never even considered his wants or needs.
It was time to stop being selfish.
It was time to let him go.
You needed to let him go and pursue what made him happy.
And that night you made love to him, slowly and gently, taking your time with him, crying his name out as your tears fell, knowing it was possibly the last time you would ever have him like this again.
That night as he slept beside you, you scrolled through your phone looking for places to rent.
Your mind made up and a heaviness in your chest.
The days that followed, you toured homes in the area and found one you wanted greatly and you put an offer in immediately.
Then you steeled yourself for the tough conversation you needed to have with Rain.
[Music Suggestion: Porcelain by Helen Jane Long]
Rain sat across from you, munching on his piece of raisin bread, going through his inbox when you told him you should move out.
You'll never forget the look on his face when you did so.
His eyes bulged and his face crumpled into confusion, choking slightly on the bread crumbs that remained in his throat, grabbing his coffee to swallow them down.
He said to stop joking around, took one look at your face then gulped loudly.
"This is sudden," he announced, his hands flying into the air as he pushed away from the table, his chair screeching across the floor..
"Why are you doing this? Is it because of what I said on the way home from my dad's? You've been weird since that, you know I was just kidding right?” Rain rambled as he cocked an eyebrow at you and crossed his arms, waiting for you to answer.
"Rain I-" you began.
“Don't do this because of a joke," He interrupted, leaning across the table and taking your hands into his.
"Don't fucking do this to me Y/N. Don't do this to us. I really don't need you to agree to marry me. We are good how we are, things can stay the same." He argued, as his fingers squeezed yours tightly.
"But I know you want more, you deserve all that you want. I can’t keep telling you what I want and you never get what you want. It’s not fair to you, Rain," you say as gingerly pulled your hands from his.
Rain stands up and makes it your side of the table, he pulls you up by your arm, forcing you to stand with him and you can't help but flinch.
"I just want you. That's all I want. I don't need kids," he sobs as he wraps his arms around you. You join in with his crying, hating yourself for doing this to him.
"You say that now b-”
“I mean it Y/N” he says, pulling back from you, his eyes searching yours.
“I already found a place," you blurt out and you felt Rain’s body stiffen against you.
He abruptly let's you go and a howl tore from his lips as he folded into himself.
His hand swept over the table crashing all the plates, cups and silverware to the floor.
"You've been planning this for awhile and never even THOUGHT to talk to me about it? To tell me how you were feeling? You just made a decision, not even thinking about me?!" He snarled as his fingers tangled in his hair as he paced back and forth.
"I can't fucking believe you."
"Rain, I know you want to get married someday, you’ve cried at every wedding we’ve attended together. I know you want kids. . I see how you look at families with envy when we go to the mall or an amusement park. You've been throwing around hints for months! I'm doing what’s best for us," you finish and instantly you regret your choice of words.
"For us?" He balked, frozen in place as he turned to you and then he shattered.
"Fuck that! How do you get to choose what’s best for us?" He screamed ,his eyes wild as he stared at you as he paced back and forth across the kitchen area, his feet stepping on the shards of porcelain scattered there but not noticing how they bit into his flesh.
"I fucking love you Y/N."
"I love you too, Rain,” you whispered and you saw his misty filled eyes shimmer with hope for a split of a second.
“We will still have the company. We still be friends right?"
He laughed crazily, the sound of it bouncing off the walls of the apartment.
"Friends? How the fuck can I be your FRIEND when you are literally tearing my heart to shreds Y/N? You are fucking tearing my heart out and stomping all over it right now."
He laughed again, pointing to his chest and then to pointing to you.
You were at a loss for words and just stared at him through your blur of tears, knowing it was going to be messy, knowing it was going to be painful for you, but you forgot about his pain.
You were fucking selfish. Rain was too good for you.
"I can't be here," he admitted, stalking to coat rack by the front door to grab his jacket then shrugged his shoes on before he left the apartment with a slam.
You stood still, the suddenly quiet sound of the apartment making you feel hollow and wondering if what just happened was even real.
Taking a look around you saw the shards of porcelain spilled across the floor, littered with Rain’s blood.
You walked to the hall closet and retrieved the broom and dustpan where you and Rain kept it and moved toward the smashed dishes.
Getting on your hands and knees you began to pick up the pieces of porcelain.
After that you used the broom to gather the tinier shards, letting the cumbersome task distract you from the fact that you just broke your lover's heart.
[Music Suggestion: Echo by Helen Jane Long]
Rain didn’t come home that night, he didn’t show up at work either.
When employees asked you where he was, you lied and told them he was sick.
You called him and the phone went straight to voicemail.
You texted him and the messages sat unread.
You slowly packed your things and tried your best to wait up for him in the evening. He never came home.
And when you went to work the next day, Rain didn't show up again.
That evening when you arrived at the apartment to meet the moving company, it looked exactly like you had left it in the morning. Not one sign of Rain.
By the fourth day, when you got to work and there was still no sign of him, you did only what you could think to do, you called his dad.
Rain talked to his dad multiple times a week so if anyone knew where he was, it would most likely be him.
But as you pulled his dad’s contact, your fingers trembled knowing that he could possibly hate you now.
How could you fault him though, you broke his son's heart.
Rain’s dad picked up after the first ring, his voice comforting and warm.
“Have you heard from Rain?” you asked as you stare blankly at your work laptop.
“Not for a few days. Is everything ok?” he returned, worry lacing his words.
And then you confessed everything, the sentences spilling out of your mouth with veracity.
He was silent as you spoke about the details of ending things with Rain, about not wanting to get married, and not wanting to have kids. How you knew they were all of things Rain wanted and you didn't want to keep him from that.
"I haven't seen him or heard from in thre-four days. I checked the apartment and it looks completely the same as it does when I left," you gulped at last.
“Y/N, thank you for reaching out to me. I will contact my son. I will let you know if I hear from him and promise me you will do the same?” he says shakily.
You promised you would and said your goodbye.
As you put down your phone, you let the tears fall and they wouldn’t stop. You cried for the rest of the day, holed yourself in your office, canceled every meeting on schedule and refused to meet with anyone.
When you were sure everyone had left for the day you finally emerged from your office, and decided to head to your new home. As you walked the hallway you turned off lights as your feet carried you mindlessly to the exit.
Nearing Rain's office you saw a glow beneath the door and opened it, expecting it to be empty and you were startled to see it occupied.
Rain slumped across his black leather couch looking disheveled. His clothes were dirty, stubble pebbled his face and his hands were wrapped around a bottle of Jack Daniels.
"Rain?" You gasped as you approached him slowly, his eyes fixed on you wearily while his hand gripping the neck of the bottle hardened.
"Y/N," he sighed, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking a swig.
"Are you okay?"
He laughs at your question and yanks his eyes away from you to look at the blank wall.
"I will be," he muttered.
His lips gulped on the bottle again so hard that you could see his Adam's apple wobble in his throat, his hands swiped at the liquid that never made it into his mouth.
"I called your dad."
"I told him everything."
"I know," he stated, sitting up and then placing his feet on the floor.
"This fucking hurts Y/N. It really fucking hurts," Rain sobs as his elbows come to rest on his knees and then he set the whiskey bottle down between his feet, shaking his head mournfully.
You carefully took the seat next to him and placed your hand on his shoulder slowly.
"I know, I’m sorry," you agreed, as more hot tears roll down your cheeks.
You both sit in silence for a bit, only the sound of your crying filling the office space.
"But you are right, I thought about it and you are right," Rain sighed, sniffling a little as turned to look at you.
"I do want to get married someday...and I do wanna have kids. I just thought I would do that with you. I thought you would change your mind if I waited."
His hands come up to cup your cheek, and caresses it softly as his eyes take in the features of your face.
"We will get through this. I think we can be friends and business partners," He sniffed as he leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose and your tears fall harder.
"It'll just take me some time," he breathes as the smell of whiskey fans across your face.
Rain pulls away from you and gives you a sad smile before he's standing up and walking out of his office.
[Music Suggestion: Hearts A Mess by Gotye]
And it took almost a year for you and Rain to get to that place. It was a tough and painful road to navigate.
Rain would be okay one day and volatile the next.
He would leave you out of important meetings, some days he refused to even meet with you and there were times he wouldn't show up at all, making you fill in for him without an excuse on his lips when he returned.
So you looked for a mediator, someone who was inclined with business politics.
Rain reluctantly agreed to go to see him only after he saw the revenue in sales drop by 20% after a few meetings with local prospects fell through.
Not to mention when you had to cover those meetings with little or no knowledge about the companies.
The mediator was worth his weight in gold.
He reasoned that you both wanted the company to succeed so at the very least you had to be business minded when you walked into the building.
All the petty shit could happen once you leave.
If you failed to do that then you might as well divide the company, which means splitting your revenue and creating a competitor or one of you could buy the other out.
Rain scoffed at the idea immediately.
You both agreed at the end of the day that you needed each other for the company to continue on.
There were over fifty employees relying on the two of you to support their way of life, so least you could do was be civil.
And so Rain showed up every day after that. He stopped leaving you out of meetings and he began to see you as his business partner and not the woman who broke his heart.
One evening after a long day of meetings, you were surprised when he asked you if to grab a bite to eat with him.
The two of you hadn't shared a meal since the breakup.
Hardly eating all day, only getting by with granola bars, water and coffee, you happily agreed.
And the dinner was fine. More than fine.
You caught up with what Rain's dad was doing and you filled him in with office gossip. You laughed and ate and by the end of it he was thanking you for joining him.
And from there you both began rebuilding your friendship.
You loved him from afar but anything romantic wise had ebbed away months ago and when it did you knew you had made the right decision.
You felt almost nothing when you discovered he was dating someone he met a bar weeks ago.
But you were happy, single but happy.
And now Rain was married with two beautiful girls and it's the happiest you've ever seen him.
[Music Suggestion: Anne by Santigold]
Madam made her introduction shortly after you broke up with Rain, presenting herself in your first hookup following the split.
You were attending a convention when an attractive man began flirting with you during one of the cocktail hours.
He was needy but you were needier, having not been fucked or touched in a sexual manner for months. The thrill of new hands on you excited you terribly and Madam presented herself.
Ordering the handsome man to eat you out and then riding his dick so hard that he finished within minutes and you left promptly after.
He sent you a text message that he'd never had a woman someone take control of him like that, wanted another round.
And you rejoiced in the feedback. Honestly, you were self conscious after you got back to your hotel room.
You weren’t sure what took over you. It was like you refused to be told what to do or how to do it. And you’ve never made a cum so fast, not like that.
But when he sent that message telling you those things, you couldn't help but feel validated and strong.
You never spoke to that the guy again, didn't even bother to reply.
You let the snake fully out of the bag and Madam slithered happily about.
She sank her venom into younger AND older men AND women.
It didn't matter to her what her prey was as long the person was pretty, she adored pretty TINGZ.
Madam making her hunt for good sex like a lion hunts its next meal.
You hadn't been with many prior to Zach and Rain, your body count somewhat low, but with Madam on the prowl your body count began to rally high.
And you didn't feel shame when you told Candice about all the illicit yet safe sex you were having and she happily praised you.
As you grew bored of the offerings lining up around the bars of local haunts you lamented as such to Candice.
"I have a confession," she divulges as she pours the Hennessy shot down her throat on a night out.
You follow suit and raise an expecting brow at her.
"I know a discreet place where you can get quality ass with a beautiful face...but it comes at a price," She finishes, eyeing the bartender.
He notices and quickly approaches your side of the bar.
Candice's eyes shift to her glass and then back at him before he nods and grabs the Hennessy bottle, coming back with two full shot glasses.
"What...where," you stutter as you look for an unfamiliar face inside the bar you've been to many times over the last few months.
"Sugarmamas," she whispers as she knocks back her fresh drink, peeking around discreetly.
"What? Fucking $10,000...is it a brothel?" you crow a as she details the membership to sugarmamas.
"I know it's a lot of money but the specimens on the website,” she hums as her eyes glaze around the dance floor, "one hundred times better than what's in here right now. And not a brothel...you have them where you want them."
You take another look around the bar and see a couple of men and women you slept with and many of them didn't deliver anything but empty promises.
You had to admit you were bored and madam was anxious for fresh meat.
"10k is alot bish, I get it. But you're rising in status now, you can afford to treat yourself, but you gotta keep your shit on the low," she winks at you and stares lewdly at the chocolate cutie eyeing you from across the bar.
"He's cute...but there's fucking better on the site," Candice mutters as she gestures to the bartender again.
Now here you are looking down at a sleeping Jungkook, you were nervous about the warm feelings that bubbled in your stomach when you spent time with him.
And feelings can be deceiving just like appearances can.
Jungkook’s hair is fanned around him like a makeshift fuzzy halo, the morning light making him look romanticism-era painted cherub with muscles, when the the darkness of the night he was a mischievous imp in you bathroom.
[Music Suggestion: Running Up That Hill by Placebo]
Last night, both of you headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up after he had his way with you for hours earlier.
As you were moving to start the shower, Jungkook grabbed you by the waist after shutting the bathroom door tightly behind him.
He pulled you close to him, tucking his half hard cock between your bare cheeks as he eyed you darkly in the mirror.
Jungkook's eyes stayed on yours as he bent to kiss the side of your neck while his hands came up to caress your breasts.
"Again?" You breathed arching against him, feeling his cock grow harder between you ass.
"Again," he declared as his fingers tweaked and tugged at your nipples, mouthing at your neck as his gaze floated from your eyes and moved down the form of you naked body.
"Are you always like this?'' you moan as his tongue slid down your neck and his lips landed on the curve of your shoulder.
"With you," he whispered against your shoulder and his burning gaze returned to yours.
"You do something to me," Jungkook hummed, smirking as one of hands moved to your lower back and pushed you down slowly so you're bending over the counter.
"Wanna make you cum again...fill you up again," He murmured as his hands slid down your body as he got to his knees, making his appearance vanish from view in the mirror.
You turned your head to look at him as you feel his nimble hands pry your cheeks apart before his tongue licks your already puffy folds.
"You taste so good," he stated more to your pussy than to you.
His finger came up and slipped into your entrance and you pushed your hips back eagerly. He hummed in response as his tongue lapped at your nubby pearl making your already tender pussy pulse.
"I'm gonna erase him from your memory." He whimpered as two other fingers curl into you.
Your elbows dug harshly into the counter, trying to keep you steady and not smother him with you cunt and ass.
"W-who," you stuttered out. turning your head to look down at him.
"Taehyung,'' Jungkook said simply as his thumb swiped around your entrance meeting his tongue and then slid up to your rim digging and prodding against.
"Fuck, Lil’ Prince," you mewled as his thumb wiggled all the way in, moving in time with the fingers in your fluttering cunt.
"He told me everything he did to you when he gave me your panties. Told me -he - was the reason they smelled so good," he huffed, his lips pressing against the curve of your cheeks.
"Fucker even thanked me," He groaned, fingers moving at an angry synchronized rhythm in your pussy and ass, his breathing picked up.
"Did you like the way he fucked you?'' he asked as his free hand slaps against your ass.
"Fuck I-I" you stumbled on the words, feeling your body preparing for the orgasm dancing along the breathes you exhaled.
"Don't fucking lie madam. Taehyung said you were a terrible liar, I'm starting to believe him. So tell the truth. Did you like the way he fucked you," He growled before his mouth goes to your cheeks and bites firmly into it.
"Fuck I did!" You wailed.
"Better than me?" He whined as he tore his fingers out of your pussy and asshole.
You gasped for air as your legs did their best to keep you upright, but they wobbled under you.
Looking up as Jungkook's figure appears back in the mirror, you take in his form and feel like you’re seeing a different person behind you than the one who stood behind you prior to getting your pussy licked.
His head is tilted downward, dark eyes blazed as they train on you, lips pressed into a tight line, chest heaving.
"Answer the question madam," he goaded as his hand whapped against your skin on your backside and you slid about the counter, eyes shutting tight as your brain processed the flash of pain.
"I did. I did I fucking loved it." you gasped, opening your eyes, looking directly at him, Madam taking over your body.
"He fucked me so good you," you added, a smirk on your face and a snarl left his throat.
"Do you think you can do better Little Prince. You think you have it in you to even control me even just a little bit like Taehyung'' you asked as you laugh at him.
Jungkook's movements come to a halt as you eyed him in the mirror and his dark eyes squint with rage.
"I fucking can. You're mine I had you first.'' he growled as his hands firmly grabbed your waist.
"Prove it," you smirked, watching him look down at his cock before he slammed it into you, making you scratch at the countertops.
"Shit, that's a good start," you moaned as your eyes close as he pinned your body into the countertop further with his hips.
“I can do better madam,” He vowed, rearing back to slam into even harder and you yelped loudly, your muscles tingling with pleasure.
"Is that better?" he gulped as thrusts into harshly again, his balls slapped your clit brutally.
"Yes so, so much better little prince" you gritted out as your pussy clenched down on him.
"Please open your eyes then. Please tell me who's fucking you so g-good, m-madam."
Your eyes struggled open and see Jungkook's corded muscles flexing and contracting as he pushes in you, the veins on his arms and hands protruding by how tightly he’s gripping your waist and his eyes were filled with staunch determination.
One of his hands slid to your torso, his fingers moved to your nipple and jerked it forward, making you press further into the counter, the other nipple beginning to rub furiously on the surface with his movements.
"Whose dick are you creaming around right now?'' he asked as his hand on your hip smacked down on your ass again.
"Your fucking dick," You screamed.
"Uh huh that's fucking right madam. My fucking dick." He grunted.
Both of his hands moved their position and came to grip the counter, placing them next to your torso, making him crowdion with his muscular form
All of his weight pushed you down into the counter.
He paused for a moment, adjusting his hips and you felt his cock shifting deliciously against your walls.
He thrusted into you and your body slid up the counter so much so that only the tip of your toes remained on the floor.
Jungkook's cock was so deep in you, you could feel it prod at your stomach as it was squeezed onto the counter, his body smashing you into it repeatedly.
"What's my fucking name?" He snarled as spit flies out of his mouth and splattered across your neck and shoulders.
"Little prince" You squeaked out as your climax is building painfully in your stomach.
"Uh uh," he tutted as he plunged into you again like it was a warning while your vision goes fuzzy.
"Look at me and say my fucking name. Say the fucking name of the man who's fucking you so good right now."
He grunted and his teeth land on your ear, biting it harshly, his thrusts so hard that your toes were starting to lift off the floor with each push.
Your lungs are fighting for air, you can barely let out a sound.
"Jeon Jungkook!" You finally shout out and you feel him cum in you with a mangled groan, shoving his cock incredibly deep into that the action makes your body lift completely off the floor.
You clenched around him tighter as you reached the top of your orgasm, your legs are kicking between his stance and your hands are slapping against the counter as you navigate through the intense orgasm, you eyes on the mirror eating up the look of him behind you.
Jungkook was panting above you, watching you throw a fit on his cock, his grip on you loosened but he kept his hips tight against you, keeping you pinned in place on the counter.
His eyes were shiny as he took in your spasming form. Kept his dick locked and loaded in you with amusement lining the corners of his lips.
His hands splayed across your waist and they rub up soothingly before they come back to their original destination.
"Such a good madam," Jungkook cooed, sarcasm lacing his words.
He pulled abruptly out of your cunt with a squelch bouncing around the room.
Your body began to slump off the counter, and he caught you deftly in his arms, wrapping them around your waist.
You tried to stand but your knees shook like a newborn baby giraffe and Jungkook chuckled at you before he turned you around and placed you to a sitting position on the counter.
You collapsed against the mirror and Jungkook's lips pressed against yours.
"I'll get the shower going,'' he said, breathing already regulated as he flipped his hair out of his eyes, going about his business.
The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful.
You showered together, kissing and rubbing against each other affectionately.
You ordered a pizza and drank beer as you watched the new Bear Grylls series on Netflix.
Fucking cuddling. What am I doing?
Jungkook then helped you to bed as you were beginning to doze off and laid down beside you as you drifted off.
[Music Suggestion: You Go To My Head by Billie Holiday]
You startle out of your thoughts and memories Jungkook’s deep gravely voice grabs you attention, turning to him seeing had one eye on you while the other remained squeezed shut, looking adorably fluffy.
Stop feeling soft.
So unlike the man who destroyed you hours earlier, demanding you to say his name.
Maybe I need to stop fucking these young men.
Doubt that’s the issue.
His other eye squinted open a soft smile ghosted his lips as his eyes ran across your skin. On his back, chest fully exposed, caramel nipples pert as he reached both arms up and stretched like a cat.
Watching him as his toes peek from under the sheets, pointing, his muscles vibrating into the stretch as he rocks the bed a litte as he let’s out a slightly high pitched moan, eyes on you while he does. And then you see the imprint of cock, he was definitely fully awake.
Fuck we are NOT ready for him to destroy us this morning.
You had to admit, Jungkook and Taehyung were in a league of the own in fucking.
Not sure if it was their exhaustive schedules and training or if it's the number of people they bedded but they definitely knew how to provide you pleasure and their stamina was exhausting.
You feel like you’re upside down in your life, used to leading in delivering and receiving of pleasure, it was fucking with your mind that the roles got reversed so fast with them.
Nonetheless, Madam was urging you to get Jungkook out of bed, and out of your house. You and Jungkook had fucked enough to keep her fed for a month.
"Morning...be right back. Gotta use the bathroom," you blurt to Jungkook as you get out of the bed with your phone in tow.
Jungkook nods as his tongue works his cheek, his eyes still fixed on you.
You step into your ensuite bathroom, and give him a small smile as you close the door, locking it behind you.
Sitting on the toilet seat you scroll through your phone and see Taehyung had tried to FaceTime you in the wee hours of the night.
Then you see he had texted you.
KT: [img.779] Thinking of you cupcake. Call me?
The image is of Taehyung holding his fat hard cock in his hand, he's shirtless and his head is tilted to the side staring down the lens with his tongue between his lips. You feel your mouth pool with saliva.
KT: I know Jungkookie's there. What a competitive brat.
You: Looks tasty. My hands are full at the moment 🤪
After using the bathroom, you wash your hands, and then begin brushing your teeth when your phone starts ringing.
"How busy?" He throws out as soon as you answer.
"Hello to you...What are you going on about?" you ask, rinsing your mouth and then leaning against the bathroom counter.
"How busy are your hands? And are they busy on Jungkook or are you in the bathroom finishing yourself off because he didn't pleasure you well," Taehyung states quickly a tinge of humor hanging onto his words.
"I can't talk right now Tae-"
"Is he there now?" He lowly asks.
"Doesn't sound like he's fucking you and if he is Jungkookie's doing a piss poor job because...you. Are. Quite. Noisy," He enunciates, cutting you off.
"Yes he's here. Are you jealous or something?"
"I'm sure you know the answer to that cupcake," he pauses and you remain silent.
"Anyway I won't keep you long. I sent you something. Let me know if you like it."
"Taehyung you don't have to send me gif-"
"I know. Stop saying that."
Here he goes.
"I don't need to but I WANT to," He hums.
That's a mantra he tends to repeat.
Always saying he doesn't need to but wants to, it hits differently every single time.
"Thank you in advance."
"Talk to you later, beautiful. Have a great day."
You wish him a good night and hang up.
Immediately after you hang up with Taehyung your phone rings again.
Damn it it's only 9:30 on a fucking Saturday, you grumble to yourself when you see Rain's name glad on the screen.
'We fucking did it," He exclaims as soon as you pick up.
"Choi Holdings signed the agreement. They're going to wire us half a million on Monday," he screams and you hear Rain's wife squeal with enthusiasm in the background.
"They fucking signed it," you breathe out in disbelief as your back thumps against the bathroom door.
"They FUCKING did. They want to talk at 9:00am KST, just to go over a few last details."
Yasssssss, now get him out...
"Wanna celebrate?" Rain rattles out.
"Can I call you back? I gotta take care of something," you confess, turning to the bathroom door, remembering that Jungkook is still in your house, just on the other side of the door.
"Alright call me back and meet me at the office at 10:30pm. Kyrie and Chance will be waiting for us as well as our lawyer."
You agree and hang up the phone.
You step toward the shower and turn it on.
You set your timer for 5 minutes.
I can't believe I'm doing this again.
You needed to cry. Everything was getting so muddled in your brain.
From Jungkook to Taehyung.
From sleeping with them to spending the night with Taehyung to letting Jungkook stay with you in your home, your fucking sanctuary.
The anticipation of if you would land Choi Holdings, the fucking whale in the sea ...and you fucking did. You and Rain fucking did it.
You start bawling, trying your best to keep the sobs down. You're huddled on the toilet seat letting all your emotions roll through you like thunder.
You gasp as you hold a hand to your mouth to stifle the sounds gurgling from it.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
"Y/N, everything okay?" Jungkook calls on the other side of the door.
You quickly stand up to grab a hand towel and run it under the shower's steamy spray.
"I'm fine, just finishing up," you shout back as you run the warm cloth over your face.
You look at your image in the mirror and see your eyes and cheeks are a bit puffy but whose face ain't a little puffy first thing in the morning?
Slowly you open the door and plant a smile on your face.
Jungkook fully dressed in a jogger set and is standing inches from the door, his arms folded stiffly across his chest, his shoulders hunching up to his ears as he takes in your appearance.
"Are you alright? I heard alot of commotion in there," he nods his head toward the bathroom.
"Yeah everything's fine," you sniff.
"I just got word we landed that big deal with Choi," you admit, wiping a stray tear from your eye.
He launches at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifts you easily into his arms.
"That's so awesome!" He beams twirling you around, kissing your neck tenderly.
"I know you were really stressed about it. I'm so happy for you," Jungkook beams as he plants you back on your feet.
You can't help but melt into his elation.
You nod and clap your hands together and then shuffle your feet in a jig.
"I'm so so happy," you sing as you kick up your feet and spin around.
Stormy comes bounding down the hallway yapping loudly, joining your celebration.
"You should be."
[Music Suggestion: Damage by H.E.R.]
You stop your crazy spins to turn to Jungkook and see a look of adoration on his face as he leans against the wall, his eyes so soft and warm as he gazes at you.
This is not a relationship.
You look away from him and fiddle with your hair.
"But some bad news. I don't think I can hang out with you tonight," You say, as you walk toward your dresser to pull out some clothes.
He follows your steps and pauses behind you.
You turn your head slightly. "I have a conference call with Choi at 11 tonight. Gotta get ready for it. Ya know mentally prepare."
"Oh-okay. I-understand," Jungkook says as you watch him from the corner of your eye as he picks up his duffle bag that he brought into your room the night before.
"Can I ask you something?"
Your tummy tightens with knots at his words.
Anytime Jungkook asks you a question before his actual question means he's about to hit you with something that makes your nerves rack.
"Sure," you sigh.
"Is that the only reason you were crying? I mean you were talking with Taehyung right?"
He knew I was crying?
You don't say anything, you just keep pulling random pieces of clothing from the drawer, acting as if we're looking for a certain item.
"Ya know...If this is weird for you…" you turn to look at him and he begins pointing a finger to his chest and then shifting it back to you, "I understand." he finishes.
"What do you mean?" You ask, dropping the shirt that was folded in your hands back into the drawer.
Jungkook sighs and moves to sit on your already made bed.
"I mean I know you don't do relationships with you not having time and what not. I get that. My life is hectic too."
He bites his lip and smiles softly when Stormy jumps onto the bed and curls into his lap.
He scratches behind her ears and looks up at you again.
"Just whatever this is. I want it to continue. I'm not trying to freak you out, but I want you to know I'm not seeing anyone else. I haven't for awhile."
The statement does freak you out. You are freaking the fuck out. You got baggage on top of baggage.
You can't lie, not about this.
You like Jungkook.
He's sweet and talented and soft and funny. He's gorgeous. He's fucking great in bed.
And you like Taehyung too, taking a liking to him so quickly that it scared you. He was enigmatic, outspoken and sarcastic. And beautiful, and a feign between the sheets.
You really aren't sure what Jungkook is implying with his admission and you do what you do best, remaining silent until you get a clear picture.
And right now.
Right now he's looking at you adorably, his round brown eyes on you as his rabbit teeth nibble his lips and his mole on his bottom lip is winking at you.
"C'mere," Jungkook says as he motions to you, his hands reaching out in a grabby motion.
You walk over to him and his hands find your hips.
"Are you freaking out?" He chuckles lightly.
"Nevermind, I can tell you're already freaking out, aren't you?"
You let go of the breath you were holding and chuckle along with him, nodding all the while.
His hands rub up and down the sides of your hips.
"I'm not trying to corner you. I just want to let you know where I am."
Jungkook wraps his arms around your middle and places his head on your stomach, his ear pressing into you as one of his hands begin to draw lazy paths on your tummy.
"I know you like Taehyungie...and...I know he likes you too," He whispers as he places a kiss to the fabric of the Mickey Mouse shirt you're wearing.
You look down at him as he looks up at you.
"I'm willing to share you with him."
"Share…" you begin, your hand tangling into his hair.
It's his turn to nod at you.
You pull away from him slightly and Jungkook's mouth pulls into a pout as you create distance between the two of you.
"The two of you are best friends. How...why," words are trying to form on your lips but your brain is having a hard time to string together a coherent sentence.
Jungkook grabs your hand.
"It's kinda complicated and I can tell you whatever you need to know but not now. I don't want to send you running from your own house just yet,' He snickers as he places a kiss to the inside of your wrist while looking up at you.
"Taehyung and I are close. We have…" he squints up at the ceiling and then back to you, gauging your reaction.
"We have shared many things in this life."
You are sure you look like a statue right now.
You're pretty sure you haven't moved since Jungkook offered up sharing you with Taehyung.
What does it all mean?
So many thoughts are whizzing through your brain you feel like a malfunctioning robot reincarnated in human form.
"Fuck maybe I said too much? I really wasn't planning on talking about this now..not so soon...with you," He admits as he stands up, scooping Stormy into his arms and then setting her on the floor gently.
"I should probably try to check into my hotel," He muses as he kisses your cheek before heading back to his forgotten bag, fishing through it before pulling out his phone.
"I'm going to give you some space," he states, tapping fastly on his phone.
He turns back to you, his head tilted and one eyebrow raised.
"But maybe we can meet once your conference call is over? I can schedule a call with Taehyungie too?"
"C-can I contact you about this later?" You ask, your voice suddenly sounding very small in your own ears.
"Of course," he grins, dropping the bag back onto your chair and then sauntering up to you, hands coming to rest on your hips.
"My Uber is almost here," He says, as his phone dings with a notification.
"Call me when you have the time,." he whispers as his hand goes to your chin, leaning in to softly plant a kiss on your lips.
Jungkook slowly eases away from you, turning back to his bag in the chair and picking it up easily.
"I'll let myself out Madam," he confirms, looking at you over his shoulder before leaving your room, Stormy fast on his heels.
You hear his steps as he navigates the hallway and hear shuffling before hearing the front door shut.
For once Madam has nothing to fucking say.
What a prickly bitch.
[Music Suggestion: Hung Up On My Baby by Issac Hayes from Tough Guys]
"So I did a thing," Jungkook says, plopping down on his hotel bed as he connects his earbuds to his phone as Taehyung's face appears on the screen.
"I really hate when you start sentences like that," Taehyung boredly says as he takes a sip of his pink smoothie.
"Just tell me how you fucked up," he continues slurping loudly.
"Why do you think I did something wrong?" Jungkook asks, tilting his head and pinning Taehyung with an incredulous look.
"Because you should be fucking Y/N and you're obviously not doing that and THAT...That's a huge mistake. Why are you even FaceTiming me?" Taehyung implores, returning a glare to Jungkook.
"Honestly If I were you I wouldn't even think of calling you, being around that sweet ass of hers... I would know no one else. ...ANNND also FUCK you by the way, for lying and saying you were going to see your parents," he continues chastising Jungkook as his eyes roll around in his heads.
Jungkook scoffs, "First of all, I did see my family but then she told me her schedule was light this week so I decided to pull up."
"Second of all, you're a dick," he deadpans.
"I know. But I'm a dick with a fat dick, so that makes me a good dick, no?" Taehyung counters with a smug look covering his face, a smirk gracing his lips.
They both laugh before settling into a staring contest, both not moving for minutes.
"Jungkookie I'm waiting... what the fuck did you do?" Taehyung breaks first, rubbing his eyes frustratingly.
"I told Y/N we could share her," Jungkook blurts out, his hands raking through his long hair.
"The fuck?" Taehyung shouts out as the phone fumbles from his fingers.
Jungkook seeing the picture roll around and then landing on grey, probably on Taehyung's rug, he assumes.
"What did she say? Does she know?" Taehyung presses as his image comes back into view, his eyes filled with worry.
"I mean I didn't tell her everything. I could see she was already overwhelmed," Jungkook placates, his hands coming into view as he makes a "calm down" motion.
"Jungkookie…" Taehyung growls, looking like he wants to come through the phone and wrap his hands around Jungkook's throat.
"Well fuck, she landed that big deal."
"Yeah and she was holed up in her bathroom crying. I could hear her sobbing Tae," Jungkook sighs, his teeth digging out of his mouth and pinching the bottom lip worriedly.
"And? Then you told her we would share her?! Fucking great timing Jungkook."
"I'm not a fucking beast," Jungkook chokes out, clicking his tongue and shaking his ombre fringe out of his face.
"We were celebrating and I just told her I liked what was going on...with her and I-- But I know she likes you too. I heard her on the phone with you and I can tell she likes you. I mean she also admitted you fucked her good but nevermind that," he adds.
Taehyung palms his face, agitation growing on it by the minute.
"I also told her I wasn't seeing anyone."
"I told her that you and I are used to sharing...things."
Taehyung spreads his hand across his face and peers at Jungkook through slotted fingers.
"What makes you think I want to share her with you anyway Jungkook?"
"Fuck you, Taehyung if it weren't for me you would never met her," Jungkook snarls, shaking his head angrily.
"Whoa, whoa you're right," Taehyung sighs as he leans back into the cushions of his couch.
"Besides," Jungkook huffs, squeezing his eyes shut. "If you think she's gonna only fuck you, you are terribly mistaken. You can send whatever gifts you want to try to woo her but that woman has her shit locked down tight."
"Do you know that the first time I had sex with her it wasn't even at her home?" He ask as his eyes widen with awe.
"What?" Taehyung gapes, leaning toward the screen again, eyes just as big as Jungkook's at the moment.
"Yeah that part. Y/N took me to her house yesterday. The place she took me the first time we had sex...it wasn't even her home, just some place she owns... just some place to have sex with random hookups."
Taehyung lets out a low whistle, his hand coming up to sweep his hair out his eyes.
"Game on lock, lock...I'm high key impressed." he agrees as he reaches for his pink smoothie.
"So now what?" Taehyung asks as he takes a sip before placing it back on the coffee table.
"So...I told her we can talk about it later? I thought it would be better for her to know our... understanding...from both of us." Jungkook suggests, bringing his eyes from studying the tattoos on his hand to look back at the screen.
Taehyung looks away from his phone, teeth coming out to begin chewing at the skin on the tip of his thumb.
"Shit. I wasn't prepared for this. Not yet anyway." He confesses as he bends down, picking Yeontan up with one hand and placing him on the couch next to him.
"Me neither... But here's the thing. She's probably going to be in Seoul more often now that she landed that deal. It's best to just clear the fucking air now, right?"
"I mean yeah-- are you sure about this Jungkook? I don't wanna scare her off."
Taehyung's ember eyes are glossy and he licks his lips repeatedly, signaling to Jungkook that he's worried.
"Do you want her to stick around?"
"So fucking bad, it's crazy," Taehyung laments running his hand through his hair and then reaching down to pet Tannie on the butt.
"Me too, I want her too," Jungkook sighs rolling onto his back on the bed and fixing his gaze on the ceiling.
"This is the only thing I can think of ...to make sure everyone gets what they want," he continues, placing a hand under his head.
"Do you have a better idea?" Jungkook asks, looking at Taehyung expectantly.
Taehyung takes a deep breath, air making his cheeks puff up before letting it go with an audible huff.
"I don't, but...what I do know is that it's got to be different this time Jungkook. You've gotta reel in your jealousy."
Jungkook sits up abruptly, rolling his shoulders around before speaking.
"Cut me a break. I was much younger then, hyung. I can handle this."
"Can you?" Taehyung shifts into his couch, his index finger tapping on his jawline.
Jungkook scoffs and flops back down the bed, "We can only see...I will try my best though," he admits as his head nestles deeper into the mattress.
"I know. You always try your best Jungkookie," Taehyung sighs, but then his screen goes black for a moment.
When his image reappears, Taehyung looks more relaxed.
"Hey I gotta go, that's my dad. Call me when you're with her again...We'll talk to her and tell her what she wants to know--about the agreement."
"Bet," Jungkook replies as he bids Taehyung a goodbye and then pulls up your text message he received moments ago.
You: I wanna talk.
NEXT: The Deal
A/N: I know it was long, thank you for hanging in there. It was emotional rollercoaster for me. Was it for you? The next part will be lighter. Please know that I do not condone sexual assault or domestic violence at all. The relationship between read and Zach is highly toxic. A partner should respect your body and your wants and needs and if you are in a situation I encourage you to seek out and tell someone you can trust. Feel free to ask or comment your thoughts.
Sorry if there are typos. I did my best to edit this. Thank you for reading.
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70 questions from @livixdunne-blog
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
: I guess, it's okay for now?
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
: My close friends
03: Do you regret anything?
: Lots of things
04: Are you insecure?
05: What is your relationship status?
06: How do you want to die?
: asleep, peaceful
07: What did you last eat?
: boiled egg
08: Played any sports?
: yes, swimming
09: Do you bite your nails?
10: When was your last physical fight?
: 8th grade
11: Do you like someone?
: yeah, he's like a lil bro and i don't wanna cross that line
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
: I don't think so
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
: hm, not sure
14: Do you miss someone?
15: Have any pets?
: A cat and a dog
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
: fine, calm even.. kinda horny?
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
18: Are you scared of spiders?
: sort of, at a distance they're ok but up close? no thanks
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
: what's snogged?
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
: practice bass
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
: 2 or 3.. maybe even 6
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
: 2, planning to get more
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
: English, Computer and uh.. idk been a while
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
26: What are you craving right now?
: a breakfast sandwich
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
: i guess so
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
: not a bf, but a fling yeah
30: What’s irritating you right now?
: the fact that i'm lost and can't find a way to escape and make a firm decision
31: Does somebody love you?
32: What is your favourite color?
: pastel colors
33: Do you have trust issues?
: sort of
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
: cuddling with an acquaintance and being horny for them, it was weird i didn't like it
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
: an old wise man, he's cool
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
: i don't know
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
: both are difficult
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
: yes when i was a kid
51: Favourite food?
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
: charge my phone
54: Is cheating ever okay?
: never okay
55: Are you mean?
: yes, i've had people telling me that
56: How many people have you fist fought?
: idk really
57: Do you believe in true love?
: i guess
58: Favourite weather?
: rainy season, would like to experience autumn
59: Do you like the snow?
: i haven't experienced it yet
60: Do you wanna get married?
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
: no, depends on who
62: What makes you happy?
: music, playing bass and singing
63: Would you change your name?
: i would yeah
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
: yes, he's a pedo and a harasser
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
: try and learn why they like me
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
: yes, a few
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
: my answer supplier friend
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
: my abnormie
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
: hmm, i won't know until i find mine
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
: can't answer this until it happens
tagged by @leonzhng thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋
i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena @yibobibo @lan-xichens @purplexedhuman @aheartfullofjolllly @lanzhansmiles @nyx4 i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!
putting this under a read more for reasons
MEN 2010 – 2016
literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)
tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes
harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years
louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart
ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014
harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly
choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot
brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)
jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos
misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)
henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)
MEN 2016 – 2021
min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??
kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard
park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)
kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day
jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys
choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu
xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx
wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok
lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me
bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho
this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time
ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts
perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her
andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty
lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked
alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay
park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)
kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members
shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D
xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage
lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!
there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao
peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on
legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14
zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.
will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute
jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off
castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did
kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF
howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl
lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot
mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)
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April 2003•Metal Sludge
20 Questions With Joey Jordison
We have to thank our loyal Sludgeaholic Wednesday 13 from the Murderdolls for hooking us up with Joey for these 20 Questions! Enjoy!
1. What are you currently up to? This is your only chance to promote your current activities.
I am currently swamped w/ work right now. We are in the depths of the new slipknot record writing process consisting of a 6 day a week and up to 12 hours a day work schedule, I am really proud of the material and cant wait to get it out.....I'm more than positive all the fans will be pleased. Working on a Murderdolls DVD to come out later this year, a lot of live songs, videos, and a lot of debauchery from backstage, to the mobile morgue, to terrorizing truck stops, to almost arrests, to the toilet etc. Also shooting a video in a couple weeks as well w/ the Murderdolls. Wednesday came up w/ a great concept for this and will be funny as fuck..... Hold on for the song title. We're also going on tour all this summer doin' festivals, main support for Iron Maiden and headline shows. We are gonna go out w/ a bang before I return to Slipknot - right after for the complete campaign of our new record! I also must extend an eternal thank you to our American fans that didn't get to see us....we played only a handful of shows here (like 15 or so) and the record still sold great here w/ no radio, tours or video play, there will be select live dates coming, so hopefully you'll be able to catch us. Anyway on to the next...
2. Growing up in Iowa, have you ever tipped a cow, fucked a sheep or considered suicide?
That's an Awesome Question now we’re talking.
1.) Me and some friends gave cow tipping a try but it never worked, I guess we were too small at the time or whatever, however we managed to step in some cow shit!!!! Does that count?
2.) No, I haven't given the sheep a dose of Dr. Joey's 2 ball compound (see Andrew Dice Clay), but rumor has it that it is like a female.....
3). An absolute no! I have never thought about or remotely considered that.
3. Name the 3 high points and the 3 lowest points of your musical career to date?
1.) Seeing Kiss @ Vets Memorial auditorium on the Asylum tour, yeah it was sans makeup but at 12 years old I about shit myself...then I saw them on the Hot In The Shade tour and Faster Pussycat blew them off the stage. Quick story....between songs Tamie Downe had the coolest rap. He was like "yeah i was just sittin in my hotel room before the show and the telephone rings (cue crowd scream) and the voice on the other end asked.. (in a total whinny girls voice mockery) Is Tamie there?...and i said YEESSS!!!! (cue louder crowd scream)....Chick: "well can i suuuuuck yooouur diiiiiiick?".....right then the guys mom i was with turns fuckin sheet white and i was like "YEAH.... FUCK YEAH!!!!!"..they then launched into BathroomWall...fuckin great memories
2.) The signing of Slipknot to Roadrunner in the summer of 98. It was the biggest middle finger to everyone who doubted us including the industry...we destroyed every fuckin band live through the 1st album cycle then on to the second record. The records have gone to sell over 2 million in the US alone, so that's a definite
3.) Murderdolls. I have so much fun w/ this band and the guys. It's great to be able to show another side of me that a lot of people really didn't know I think. Wednesday is a great friend who does a lot for that band when I'm busy w/ Slipknot and he really had a lot to do w/ helpin me construct the vision and sound of the band. We’re offensive, we’re sloppy, we’re drunk and don’t give a fuck!!!! NEXT.....
4. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
Kiss. They are my favorite band of all time hands down and are one of the biggest reasons I do what I do now, but they've made their mark ten times over and I think could leave peacefully and call it a good (translation: RICH AS FUCK) day.
5. When Wednesday writes in, he drops a variety of song lyrics or references to a variety of hairbands. We're going to list some song lyrics and you have to fill in the blank and tell us what band it's from to test your 80s knowledge. Please try to do this without Wednesday's help!
One million miles an hour headed out to where the __________ go.
Okay I have no fuckin clue what this is....hmm..i guess if I don't know this I didn't want to know it. I must have thought they sucked or I'm just drawing a blank or something...ill take a D for
Dumbass on this one.
(Sludge Says: The answer is "Down Boys" and the song is "Down Boys" by Warrant.)I grab my hat and I grab my _______.
Tonight I'm gonna hit the streets and cruise.
Answer = SHOES
Song = thats Poison "i want action"
He's the wolf screaming lonely in the night, he's the _________ on the stage.
Answer = BLOODSTAIN
Song = that is Motley Crue "shout at the devil"
They call us problem child, we spend our ____________. We walk an endless mile.
Answer = LIVES ON TRIAL
Song = thats Skid Row "youth gone wild"
Rock queen, thirteen, buxom blonde, bad dream. Let me touch your ________.
fuck I dot know...sounds familiar...I'll be pissed probably when I find out what it is.
(Sludge Says: The answer is "Cookies" and the song is "Rock Queen" by Love/Hate.)
I knew right from the start, you'd put an __________ through my heart.
Answer = ARROW
Song = Ratt "round and round"
I need a shot of gasoline, I'm hittin' one sixteen, I get so hot I see steam, Forget the day 'cause we're gonna scream, _______________
Answer = NIGHT SONGS
Song = Cinderella "night songs"
6. Tripp Eisen recently did 20 Questions with us and said, "I put the entire Murderdolls band together; finding all the members, and I was prepared to find my own replacement." Did Tripp really put the entire Murderdolls band together or is he taking credit for shit he didn't do?
To Tripp's credit he did find Eric Griffin and THE GHOUL (AKA Ben Graves ). Though he takes credit for Wednesday which I'll never understand. I found out about the Frankenstein Drag Queens from Dizzy Draztik (Rejects vocalist) and we talked to Weds long before Tripp thought about joining the Rejects. Wednesday took a picture of himself and sent it to us (this is before we ever practiced w/ Tripp) and for reasons unknown we didn't hire him then. When it came time to get serious w/ the band and we had already played shows w/ Ian from Vampire Love Dolls (Acey's old band) on bass and Racci Shay (Dope/Genitorturers) on drums, I had mentioned to Dizzy that i wanted to get in touch w/ Wednesday, he gave me the info and I phoned him at his home in North Carolina from my tour bus on the Pledge of Allegiance tour. I left the Rejects and asked Wednesday if he would like to be my new vocalist for as yet unnamed project w/ Tripp. Tripp just got to meet Wednesday before I did when he was on tour w/ Static X to deliver him the material, but I've known of Wednesday before I was ever involved w/ Tripp.
7. Marilyn Manson makes a cameo in first Murderdolls video. What is your relationship like with the modern age king of shock rock?
We are friends, that's about all I can tell you really. I met him when I was asked to a party of his and he saw me shake hands w/ a member from Limp Bizkit and tell this guy that his band sucked to his face. He seemed pretty amused by that and invited me to sit down. We've worked together and I've learned a lot from him...he's an amazing artist. He's always made me feel welcome around him.
8. Of all the bands you've toured with over the years, who were the biggest dicks to deal with and who was the coolest?
We (Slipknot) kinda made every tour our own, we didn't take shit from any headline band, tour manager etc....if the headline band put a clock up on the stage to tell us when to get off...we would smash it to pieces, throw it at them and then piss all over their gear during the set. That was basically the tour w/ Coal Chamber in the late summer of 99. We are just out for blood at anytime w/ that band..it does something to you. The coolest band we ever toured w/ was Slayer and Amen on the Tattoo the Earth tour in 2000.....fuck that ruled...Hed PE is always fun too. Damn that Casey Chaos for makin me piss my bunk from too much alcohol consumption.
9. Which member of Slipknot lives their gimmick a little too much?
Those are my band mates and friends dude, I'm sorry, I wouldn't feel right saying something bad. Our new record is shaping up great, so why would I wanna start shit?
10. Give us a touring memory from the following cities:
This must be Murderdolls related ...OK
Chicago = best show of our first tour. Daron from System of a Down came out but missed us, hung out for a while w/ him till he had to split. Our bus broke down that day early and we had to take a van to sound check, I remember none of us had slept and we felt like shit, but played great. Partied afterward until 9 am or some shit and woke up in my hometown for our last show of that tour. We (minus Acey) were all still shitfaced. Our manager was on the bus w/ us and telling us it was time to go to bed and we would just look at each other like he was speaking Japanese.
Atlanta = we've never played Atlanta
Phoenix = Horrible show plus I have good friends there so that made it even worse. The fans dug it I guess so it was cool. We drank the show away afterward.
St. Louis = we didn't play there w/ the Murderdolls but I'm pretty sure we passed through there drinkin our asses off and doin whatever else, and tearing the bus apart. That's pretty much like every one of our shows so I'll count it as one.
Chicago = even better show than the last one we played. Sold out venue, friends from Broken Hope and Soil came out. Afterwards the usual Drinkin, Drugs, Fun! We had a flight to England the next day and the fuckin GHOUL shows up 2 hours late because he was at some chicks house, we almost miss the flight...we're still pissed at him for that...but he don't give a fuck.
Milwaukee = Murderdolls haven't played there, but I've had nothing but the best shows there w/ Slipknot...the Milwaukee crowds are definitely in the top 3 crowds in the US.
Detroit = We barely made this show because we did the Mancow show earlier that morning and that's in Chicago but that's not the bad part. The bad part is that a roadie and our drum kit and our bass player got trapped in an elevator for almost 2 hours makin our drive even more of a hassle...that day sucked...but we made the show and it turned out great.
Boston = HOLY SHIT!!!! Home of the GHOUL!!!! Home of ERIC!!! Mama GHOUL came out and hung around on the Mobile Morgue. It was cool to meet the woman who spawned such a scary guy.....great show great fans...the typical aftershow...you get the picture.
New York = busier than a hooker in Times Square. Interview after Interview, Record label land and TONS of Partying (let's get the priorities straight here). This show was @ Don Hills and was off the hook.. I loved this show. Guy from the Toilet Boys DJ'd our aftershow and was great because we could get wasted and not worry about some Jackass playin something like Linkin Park or whatever. Wednesday was Drunk off his ass 2 minutes after stage (no exaggeration here) and ended up back at Acey's house w/ his head in the toilet while Acey blasted "LETS PARTY" and "PARTY HARD" by Andrew WK from the stereo......maybe it'll end up on the DVD.
San Francisco = 2nd show we ever did. We've improved immensely in the past 10 months.....Robb Flynn from Machine Head came out revealing he was a big Drag Queens fan much to Wednesdays surprise.
11. What hard rock/heavy metal band should give it up and call it a day?
I did this one dude, see question no. 4
(Sludge Says: We fucked up and meant to ask "Which rock star deserves a smack in the mouth and why?" Instead we repeated this question because we're idiots and drink too much. Oh well.)
12. When you see Wednesday give interviews saying he was once in the Tuff Fan Club and listens to bands like Sweet FA and Pretty Boy Floyd, do you ever want to fire him from the band?
No never! Wednesday is true to what he likes and could give fuck less what anyone else would say about it. I think it is the most honest punk rock thing that he gives props to those bands...I know shitloads of people who would NEVER do that. I personally don't like most of it, but he is giving back to the music that meant so much to him when he was a kid.
13. The Last of Joey Jordison.
Last time you got drunk & barfed = too drunk to remember
Last time you woke up before noon = I woke up at 8:07am today
Last piece of Kiss merchandise you purchased = Rhinestone t shirt (those motherfuckers got me again)
Last time you put the Slipknot mask on = I am makin a new one right now so I guess.... ..2 days ago?
Last rock star you shook hands with = Wednesday 13 in LA on our way home
Last time you visited the MTV studios in NYC = late summer 2001
Last time Slipknot rehearsed together = last night
Last Murderdolls concert was in = Perth Australia
Last CD you purchased = Volcano - Satyricon
Last movie you saw = Nekromantik
14. What are your thoughts on this year's OzzFest lineup?
Looks cool to me, i personally wish there a lot more black metal influence on the side stage...but...
15. Yes or no, has Joey ever:
Put on the Clown's mask = yes
Shit your pants on stage = no
Had Edsel Dope purchase clothes for you = no
Sang along to a Justin Timberlake song = no, but id like to fuck his x girlfriend
Seen somebody piss on a rug = yes.... we Murderdolls don't use toilets, we use the floor and empty beer bottles.
Drank a beer with Jack Osbourne = yes at ozzfest 2001
Thrown a drum stick at somebody's face = yes..intentionally and unintentionally
Seen Slaughter in concert = yes opening for Kiss and faster pussycat. And again, FP fucked both those bands in the ass and sent em packin.
Watched a snuff video = yes
Sacrificed a goat = no
16. You're supposed to have a monthly column in Metal Edge. Are you that bored?
I am anything but bored. I like to stay busy and challenge myself. Paul Gargano is a cool guy...he was the first one to have the balls to put the Murderdolls on the cover of Metal Edge when our record wasn't out...i mean that is cool!!!....rumour has it as well, that it was their highest selling issue of that year. As for the column i don't know yet...it's been talked about, but maybe Wednesday is more suited for it than i am.
17. Are you getting more pussy in the Murderdolls now that you don't wear a mask or do you get more pussy with the mask? Also, have you ever fucked a chick while wearing the mask?
Well....yeah.......yes the opportunities have definitely increased like herpes on a crack whore.
18. Who needs to shut the fuck up more, Corey or Shawn?
They are very outspoken individuals. I don't agree w/ them a lot of the time and maybe they don't agree w/ me, but we are Slipknot and no one can take that away from us.
19. Rumor has it you still live with your parents even after having Platinum albums. Any plans on branching out with some of that Slipknot money?
Well....how much is it gonna cost me to get on the Metal Sludge tour!!! hahahaha I do live w/ my Mom basically because I'm never home. I live modest, and I guess I just don't need some big house and shit. I just need the stage, fans and music.
(Sludge Says: It'll cost you nothing to get on the Sludge Tour Joey. You'll just have to go on before Pretty Boy Floyd!)
20. Time for Metal Sludge's Word Association. We mention a name and you give us your thoughts.
Corey Taylor = One of Metals best vocalists ever
Wednesday 13 = Rock and Roll Motherfucker from Hell/partner in crime
Nikki Sixx = wrote a shitload of great songs/ did a shitload of hard drugs
Rob Zombie = La Sexorcisto was cool and im gonna check out his new movie -Murderdolls would like to tour w/ him
Dizzy Drastic = Great friend/witty as hell/writes great lyrics
Marilyn Manson = phenomenal visionary and artist/ muti talented/ friend
Mushroomhead = there is enough room in the world for 2 bands w/ masks
Alice Cooper = The God of it all
Tripp Eisen = good guitarist/a little high strung/ loves manowar
Gwar = I love GWAR,i have all their albums but the last,great live,shut Corey up
Paul Gargano = see question # 19..again cool guy
Edsel Dope = gets a lot of shit/ but is a very driven alright guy
People = you know the answer to that my friend
Thanks for your time and patience, It was a lot of fun doing these,
Thanks to Joey for having fun with the questions and to Wednesday for giving us the hookup! We survived a 20 Questions with a member of Slipknot and didn't get the shit beat out of us. Not bad. One member of Slipknot down, 8 more to go
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15 Best Things to Do in Broken Bow, OK
Broken Bow is the water paradise of Oklahoma. The destination being set in the backdrop of the heavenly Ouachita Mountains draws many tourists to its heart. Broken Bow can be one of the best places to check out for a weekend destination. There are so many activities that you will never feel even a little bit bored. These are the top 15 things to do or check out in Broken Bow.
Visit the gorgeous lake
RAphoto77 / Shutterstock.com
We’d like to kick off this trip to Broken Bow by introducing you guys to the prime attraction of the location- the one and only Broken Bow Lake. This is the reason why tourists flock to the quaint town of Broken Bow. Set in the backdrop of the majestic Ouachita Mountains, Broken Bow Lake is an art of immense beauty.
Let us tell you more about this spot now.
Encompassing a mass of vast 14,000 acres of land, the lake is also blessed with some gorgeous lush green forests on its banks. This lake is suitable for all kinds of water activities. So, do check out for those. Also, it is a slice of paradise for all fishing enthusiasts as it houses a huge amount of largemouth bass! The forest about this gorgeous lake is dense. So, adventure lovers, pay attention!
Jordons Edits / Shutterstock.com
After a bit of having fun with all the water activities of Broken Bow Lake, we are going to head on to our next destination. But, first, we’d like to inform you that this next one is for all of my adventure junkies out there. It will surely make your adrenaline rush by providing you with a lot of options for adventurous thrills. Let us have a look now.
Broken Bow also happens to be the home of Ouachita National Forest beside the majestic Broken Bow Lake. Beavers Bend State Park just adds more to the beauty of the forest. There are a lot of hiking trails for you to choose from, and the best one happens to be almost 12 miles long. Don’t forget to pack and bring a picnic basket along with you to feel the beauty of a picnic in the dense forest!
Go fishing in Mountain Fork River
Nature Trail Photos / Shutterstock.com
As we stated earlier that adventure junkies will find their heaven right in Broken Bow, we bring you to another charming thing to do. By now, we have explored the lake along with hiking in the Beavers Bend State Park. It is time for us to go see a beautiful river and choose our options there.
Don’t ever forget to bring your fishing equipment when you are heading for the iconic Mountain Fork River or you will miss out on a lot of good stuff. The trout of Broken Bow is probably a staple when you come to this place. And, now you have the perfect chance to grab hold of a trout for yourself. Do try out your luck here!
Enjoy some water
Matthew Holdridge / Shutterstock.com
With so many water bodies laying around, Broken Bow is indeed a slice of paradise for those who enjoy water more than their lives. Keeping you guys in mind, we have brought more water-related activities for you. Though we have mentioned boating and fishing in the lake or river before, there is a ton of other activities that you can check out too.
These waters come down from the mountains which makes me the perfect thing to splash into! The water is crystal clear and blue which makes kayaking a very good option. The Mountain Fork River is known for its swift waters which makes floating in it quite an adventure. The Broken Bow Lake’s calm waters should be enjoyed too on a paddle-boat.
Taste some good wine
Are you tired after a long day of fishing or swimming? Hold on, we have some happy ending for you too! You might think a good quality wine might help you with your tiredness. And, you were right! It is now time for us to introduce you to some good refreshments!
Broken Bow is a luxurious wine place. So, if you are looking for good options to go, and try out- there will not be any shortage of them. Be it a Cabernet or a Moscato- every variety is found in this small town. Did you know the beer is famous here too? What’s more important is that you can book a wine/beer tasting tour if you want! There are plenty of companies who provide this tour every weekend. So, go book yourself one, and spend a happy day amid different spirits!
Have the best meal
Okay, we got our wine now. What about dinner? Or, do you like to pair your dinner with some good wine. Either way, we have got your back. In a town that is filled with tourists who are there to spend a weekend, and have some good time- there are bound to be some delicious restaurants, and the same is the case with Broken Bow.
You will find your hands on some of the best restaurants. Let us first tell you what are some of the main things that are served the best here. First comes pizza which is essential on a day when you are too busy sightseeing that you do not have time to go check out a restaurant. But, if you want something fancy, there are some of the best steakhouses in this area. Also, craving for some BBQ? There are options here for that too.
Explore the Beavers Bend Resort Park
Enough with water activities- do you want to go check out the different shades of nature for a bit? Worry not for we have got your back now. Beavers Bend Resort Park has the best natural resource for you. It is not far away from Broken Bow. It just takes a short drive, and Voila! You will be there.
The state park is filled with fun activities being so huge. Do you know there are mini trains inside? You can take a ride in those. Also, there are several good hiking trails. You can check those out if you want. Both amateurs and pros can take up the hiking trails in this location.
We did not even mention what to do if you are not feeling very tired after dinner! Come one, we have something to show you. Often it happens that when you are in a new place- you are so excited that you don’t exactly feel tired. Even after dinner, you want to go somewhere or do something. For our energetic people, we have something that might help you out.
Broken Bow has some of the best nightlife in Oklahoma. Go dancing with your loved one or just check out a club! So, even after dinner, some places remain open till 2 in the morning! Also, some cocktail and pizza places serve the best late-night craving foods!
Ride a horse
Want to feel a bit majestic? Or, are you just passionate about horses? There is just something about horses that make them so riyal and beautiful. And, some people completely understand the feeling behind this, so if you are one of them- you are in for a treat!
Two main river trails provide this offer of riding a horse. Imagine feeling like a royal tourist- sightseeing on horseback! You can mainly explore the Beavers Bend State Park Game Reserve. It takes around 45 minutes but you will be provided with a guide as well as a horse who will show you around efficiently.
Spend a night under the stars
Sari ONeal / Shutterstock.com
Does spending a night in the middle of the woods on a starry night sound way too romantic? For your information, you can make your dreams come true in Broken Bow. Read on to know more about this opportunity. There are many cabins found near the forests of Broken Bow where you can easily book a cabin for the night and enjoy your stay in a remote romantic location. Sip on a glass of wine while lighting a fire in front of you in the woods. Roast a marshmallow or so!
Ouachita National Forest is the main location where you can make your dreams come true. The forest is extremely pretty with dense trees around. It looks particularly pretty during the sunsets where the last rays of sunshine fall on the leaves and make them look a different color.
Check out the Forest Heritage Center Museum
Did you think Broken Bow is all about nature and activities? Well, let us clear your small confusion with the introduction of the Forest Heritage Center Museum. The Forest Heritage Center Museum is one of the best places you can check out if you want to know all the secret facts about Broken Bow.
There was once a time when Broken Bow earned a lot from its forests with the wood and timber. But, now those are probably illegal, and you can find out all about those periods in this very museum. From industrial news to different photographs, and historic documents- everything about Broken Bow is here in the Forest Heritage Center Museum. Also, you can find out a lot about the city in the library that is located inside the museum. Get your hands on all the books about the history of this place.
Try your hand at mining
Hold on, we are not entirely done with the vast array of activities that can be done here in Broken Bow for there are still a few left to capture your heart. Fine, let us introduce you to some mining activities then.
Beavers Bend Mining Company offers you the best experience if you are new to this mining thing. It is made as a replica of gold mines. You can dig up and find a lot of tiny pieces of treasure like several gems and jewels. The kids especially love this bit. You even get to wash them and learn about them. Overall, it is a very exciting thing to try out in Broken Bow.
Interact with some animals
Ah! It’s been a while we have seen some cute animals or touched them. All right, let’s hit the zoo now! Hochatown Petting Zoo is the best way to pet some wild animals.
Hochatown Petting Zoo is a haven for animal lovers. The main reason behind this is that you get to interact with all of them. All these are rescued ones who need your love! Though there are some dangerous international wild animals too- most of them are the cute snuggly ones whom you just wanna cuddle.
Get on a train
Are you passionate about trains? Of course, we are referring to people like Sheldon Cooper who get all excited whenever they hear about train rides. Well, then how about a train that has been built just for the tourists as a replica of a historic one?
Does the name C.P.Huntington S.P. train ring any exciting bells for you? If so, then come with us. Beavers Bend State Park is home to some of the best activities as we talked about earlier, and this is one of the many activities that the park offers.
You get to ride a train made completely like the original C.P.Huntington S.P. train. The train goes all the way up to Wahoo Hill. And, if you are lucky, you might even get to see a lot of wild animals roaming around.
Drive along Talimena National Scenic Byway
MS7503 / Shutterstock.com
It is now time for one of the best drives to enjoy in Broken Bow. Let us take a drive now. Talimena National Scenic Byway has some of the most panoramic scenes of the Ouachita Mountain range. It goes on for a route of 56 miles and has some breath-taking backdrop. Do try to take on this drive if you wanna be bedazzled.
This brings us to the end of our very pleasurable Broken Bow trip. We assure you that you will have the time of your life in this wonderful place.
Chap 10 If You Can't Take The Heat...
Chris: Last time on Total Drama Island… Our competitors became hunters. And the hunted. Owen’s game was way off. And when he finally caught wind of his prey, he totally blew it. And Cody made a new friend who quickly beat the crap out of him. Can anyone say medivac? In a weird and strangely watchable twist, Leshawna, Lindsay, Beth, and Heather turn their paintball guns on each other. It was a full on wrasse for dominance within the females of The Gopher Squad and the Gophers were sent to the bonfire. In the end, however, it was Cody who got the shaft. The Gophers are still the underdogs. Can they bounce back? Or is their goose finally cooked? Find out tonight on Total. Drama. Island!
Iris was sitting in the dining hall talking to Chef and Chris when the others piled in. "Hey Iris can we talk?" Duncan asked he sounds like a nervous kid. "Ha no I have a challenge to get ready for." She said geting up to join the Gophers. "You really upset her. She is only avoiding you because she wants the pain to stop. But you just won't let it go. You had a go thing set up for you bro and ya blew it. " Chris said before standing up to leave the campers to Chef.
Is he stupid after stopping on my heart you now wanna be friends. No I will not let second place Courtney mess me up. I see how the boys are treating Harold. I stand up and walk over and sat by him. "Hey Harold you ok the boys seem to be all over you." I said patting his back. "Watch it princess what we do to our team is our business." Duncan jumps I laughed. "Oh yes of course it is,but do be careful what you do. You never know who might try something." I said walking away. "I dare you do something sugar tits." He said trying to hurt me. "Oh Duncan please if I wanted to do something....I would have done so already." I said before sitting down.
Chris: Today’s challenge will test your minds, your teamwork, and your skills in the kitchen! You’ll be cooking a three-course meal and serving it to me for tasting. The winners get a reward and the losers will send somebody home. Each team will appoint a head chef to create the theme of the meal and to oversee the cooking. To cook, you need imgredients. Every morning, a truck brings us food. Today’s task starts there.
Geoff became the hed Chef for the bass. I was aboutto volunteer but Heather jumps in. "Heather just remember we lose and its all on you." She glares at me. "We won't as long as everyone does as I say." She said ordering us to grab food. She wanted to make barbecue ribs, orange flombae, pineapple skewers. While in the middle of cooking Heather lost her eyebrows. While in a heated rant she ends up in a freezer. "Well will we let drama queen chill. Let's get to work on the rest of the food." Leshawna said.
Geoff: Okay. We’ve got like, three courses and six people. So everybody partner up!
DJ: I know how to make pasta sauce!
Bridgette: I know how to boil pasta!
Harold: Me and Sadie can rock the antipasto. I’m like a black belt when it comes to cutting cheese.
Killer Bass except Harold: [laughing]
Sadie stifles a giggle.
Duncan: I guess that leaves you and me on dessert detail.
Courtney: Oh no. No way!
Geoff: Come on, Courtney. For the team.
Courtney: He’s totally unmotivated. And he never washed his hands. He’s so obnoxious. [fast forwarding] He’s completely delusional. [normal] Owning sunglasses doesn’t automatically make you cool. [fast forwarding] If you’re gonna wear sunglasses, at least get some stylish ones. He’s such a poser. [normal] People like that are so annoying. I mean, honestly, who does that? And don’t even get me started on his hair.
Geoff: [sinister chuckle]
DJ: Uh, where do you want the water, Brid– Oops!
Harold: Aw! Hey! Smooth move, Dorkahontus!
Geoff: Oh, bummer! Better go change, dude!
DJ and Geoff stifled giggles.
I honestly felt bad for him but he needs to suffer a bit more. He needs to be at the peak before I can proswade him. So as its always been patience is the only choice. This time I am actually looking forward to end game. *laughs*
(End of Confessionals)
After a few hours we finally finished and dad was ready for the food. Leshawna put Owen in charge of watching the food while we went out. That was the worst decision on her part.
Chris [ after chewing] : Your antipasto passed the testo. Pass the pasta, please. [chewing, slurp] On a scale of one to ten, fifteen. How will the Gophers respond?
Dad said before looking at us.
Leshawna: Tell me you did not just eat that entire plate of ribs!
[door swings open]
Chris: Yeah, this looks like it’s uh, been eaten.
Owen: Not all of it. I think there’s a tiny chunk left on that… bone. Over there. Yeah, there.
Chris [after chewing]: You know what? I’ve had worse. Two points!
Chris: Ooh, close, Owen. But the Bass still lead fifteen to eleven. Time for dessert!
Chris: Ehhhh, six. The Bass have twenty-one, so the Gophers need all ten points just to tie it up. I have to say, this dessert looks like a winner.
Leshawna: Oh, that’s not good.
Chris gags and chokes.
"DAD!" I yelled
Owen: Hang on, there! Hah! Yes! Got it! [chuckles]
Chris: What the heck is this?
Lindsay: It’s Heather’s recipe! [gasps] Oh, my gosh! She’s still in the fridge!
Leshawna: What? Girl was making everyone trip.
Chris: Oh, I hear that.
Owen [gasps] : Oh, the horror!
Heather: You guys are s-s-s-so dead! Is it over?
Chris: It is! The Bass win twenty-one to twelve and it’s not just ’cause I almost died. The ribs sucked, too.
Heather: Great! That’s just great! Why do we keep losing, people? And what is this? I didn’t approve this!
Beth: I-I brought it back as a souvenir. You know, from the other island.
Heather: You did what?!
"For once I agree with her. You dip shit that thing is cursed!" I grabbed her by the collar.
Chris: You mean Boney Island? The deadliest island in Muskoka? The one I specifically said not to take anything from or you’ll be cursed?
Beth: Yeah… I didn’t know! I’ll put it back!
Chris: Okay, the Killer Bass now lead with seven members to the Gophers’ soon to be six. And as promised, the winners will be enjoying a reward tonight. A five-star dinner under the stars.
Killer Bass cheer.
Courtney [laughing] : Okay! Put me down! [angrily] Put me down!
Leshawna: I don’t know about y’all, but Heather has got to go.
Owen: Yeah, but Beth cursed us with that wooden tiki doll thingy.
Leshawna: Mm, true. Dear curse, please hit Heather next. And if possible, hit her upside the head!
I pretend to be possessed standing going to find Heather.
Heather: You know, Lindsay, I could convince the team to vote you off tonight. You were a major traitor. But you did let me out of the fridge. So I’ll give you one more chance if you vote with me tonight. There, see? All better. Oh, and if you ever team up with Leshawna against me again, I’ll cut off all your hair while you’re sleeping. Hey what are you doing in here go away. Iris I mean it stay back. *Iris smacks Heather upside the head* Ow jerk what was that for?
You said rubbing her head. I sit back with Leshawna acting as uf nothing happened.
(confessionals : Screaming Gophers (minus Beth))
Heather :Today’s vote was really hard, but only because there were so many annoying people to choose from.
Lindsay(laughing) : I can’t believe we locked her in the fridge! That was so cool!(stops laughing) She’s not going to see this, is she?
Heather: Leshawna is a royal pain in the butt. And Owen completely screwed up everything for us.
Lindsay: Her eyebrows look so bad! I’d kinda like to vote Heather off, but…
Heather: I vote for Beth.
Owen [burps] : Beth.
Iris "sorry you little dipshit time to go."
At the elimination Ceriomony
Chris: I’ve got seven Gophers sitting in front of me tonight. But only seven fluffy bits of sweet safety in my hands. So good luck. When I call your name, come up and get your marshmallow. Leshawna. Iris. Owen. Gwen. Trent. Lindsay. Heather, Beth. It’s down to you. Whoever doesn’t get this last marshmallow must immediately walk The Dock of Shame and leave on the Boat of Losers. Forever.
Chris: The final marshmallow goes to… Heather.
Heather: You heard him. Boat of Losers, that-a-way. That really was stupid of you to take that doll from the island.
Leshawna: Seeya girl.
Chris: That’s it for tonight. And you might wanna burn some sage to get rid of any lingering curse vibes.
Leshawna: Cool. Will Chef give us some sage?
Chris: Nope. So good luck with that.
Iris "I have some." I said annoyed
Courtney and Leshawna: Good morning, Harold.
Duncan: So, learned your lesson yet?
Harold: Yes! Okay! Yes!
Geoff: Oh, we’re gonna need more than that, man.
Harold: I’ll never leave my crusty underwear out again! I swear!
Geoff: What the heck? I believe him.(throws a sack full of underwear at Harold) It was a pleasure doing business with you!
DJ, Duncan, and Geoff laugh.
I found Harold by himself knowing the time was right.
OMIGOSH @breadpunk7 i literally just saw this!!!!!!!! thanks for tagging me!! question time........
name/nickname: mya... can’t really do much with a three letter name (my middle name is rae tho and some people call me roo!)
gender: nonbinary (maybe genderfluid? not too sure about labels lately but it’s all good)
star sign: taurus sun, cap moon, sag rising
birthday: may 5
time: 11:38 am aka i just woke up like an hour ago
favorite bands: ok HARD QUESTION but right now im listening to tons of taylor swift (cowboy like me and ivy have my entire heart), rilo kiley, liz phair (having a mid 90s moment i suppose), gorillaz (new album slaps), james blake, everything everything, georgia, joseph (THEYRE SO UNDERAPPRECIATED), xray spex, and the joy formidable.
favorite solo artists: ahhhhhh right now several of the people i mentioned above, also listening to lots of old blues and jazz artists like ella fitzgerald; hozier, marie-pierre arthur (she’s quebecois and her music is so pretty), and patti smith
last movie: fellowship of the ring for the nine millionth time, BUT i’ve been trying to find wolfwalkers cause i wanna watch it so bad..... i love cartoon saloon we stan small independent animation studios
last show: bridgerton, but only first ep so far
when did I create this blog: i’ve been on tumblr since like 2011 but i made this blog in...... 2016 i wanna say?
what do i post: who’s to say
last thing googled: adoption centres near my city cause my family’s trying to find a dog :))))
other blogs: @brushstrokebees my semi-cottagecore-y blog but it’s got a couple other things going on too and @garagesalerock where i [sometimes] make lyric edits [usually on request]
do i get asks: sometimes!!
why i chose my url: dumb pun i drew in comic form in middle school about hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy and me being in the midst of a semi-intellectual phase; it was a glass of orange juice and it said ‘philosophy juice - only 42 calories in every half glass’
following: 466 but ive been meaning to go through them all again cause lots are inactive/blogs about things im not into as much anymore (i think that also includes my other two blogs?? not sure)
followers: 89 heck yeahhh
average hours of sleep: anywhere from 4 to 10 on the average day, but when uni is going usually like 7/8
lucky number: probably 5!!
instruments: ive played piano for a super long time, same with alto saxophone all through school but i haven’t played since i graduated; i also play guitar (but still super rusty) and i sing a lot!! i’d like to learn viola or violin, bass, and some other kind of wind instrument
what am i wearing: booty shorts and a thrifted sweater...... and some space themed earrings i just got in the mail from a really cool artist i follow on twitter
dream job: published author!!!! that’s my dream. but i’m hoping to get some sort of career in conservation, climate change research, sustainable planning and development, or something in those realms since i’m getting my degree in environmental sciences and geography :))
dream trip: iceland!! and i’d also love to do a road trip up to the arctic circle here in canada. my other top places i wanna visit are argentina (esp patagonia, and taking a boat down to antarctica), taiwan with my best friend who’s from there, new zealand, turkey, greece, egypt, and way too many other places. also back to scotland cause hopefully i’ll be living there one day!
favorite food: anything that is pasta. i also love creme brulee (for a favourite dessert) and this thing called cranachan that’s like, whisky and raspberries and homemade whipped cream and oatmeal and it is. sublime. way too many other foods tho............ (if astrology isn’t real why am i a taurus that can’t stop thinking about food)
favorite song: oof yeah no can’t decide that but a top contender that i listened to for the millionth time this morning is all these things that i’ve done by the killers
last book read: reading the scottish boy by alex de campi and i am VERY MUCH enjoying it (there’s def some kinda iffy aspects to it, but it’s gorgeously written. and im a sucker for lgbtq historical fiction. so) it’s literally about a knight and his semi-squire in medieval britain who fall in love amidst political turmoil. the other book im in the middle of is gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir and if you’re reading this you’re now contractually obligated to read it. PLEASE IM SO ALONE AND IT’S A MASTERPIECE
top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: lotr, zelda, animal crossing...... anything where i can be freed from the chains of neo-liberal capitalism and maybe have some magic as a treat
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pairing: rnb singer!iwaizumi x f!reader (technically its gn until the very end though)
summary/warnings: Iwaizumi asks his fwb to be in his new music video basically/aged up as the normal, fwb dynamics?, implied nsfw (aka asking to come over later), cursing, pretty tame tbh
Music video is Always forever // bryson tiller
a/n: this is 3k words of me wanting to start an rnb series and this stemmed from the headcanons i had started working on where i said “asks u to be in his mv”
“Are you guys nervous?” The question has a teasing nature to it which causes both you and Iwaizumi to look up from your respective phones to be met with Oikawa’s amusement.
“I think the video came out well. I am the one who produced it after all,”
Oikawa was met with a scoff from you and an unamused look from the man beside you. “I think I also did a really good job with casting didn’t I?” You don’t miss the mischief in his eyes as he looks between the two of you. You’re heard mumbling something about him being annoying before stating that you needed to go to pee.
The door to the small studio closes with a click before Oikawa takes what was your place. The spot on the couch right next to Iwaizumi.
“When are you gonna ask (Y/N) out?”
“When are you going to learn to mind your own business,” the words come out with a sigh, but the slight redness that creeps up Iwazumi’s neck isn’t missed by his friend.
“I’m just trying to help my dear friends out,” he waves off. “You’re about to drop a music video where you’re making out with (Y/N), which by the way you two looked awfully comfortable doing.” The suspicion in his voice isn’t missed and the reaction, or lack thereof, by Iwaizumi causes the brunette's eyes to widen in disbelief.
“What the fuck—when did- is that why you wanted (Y/N) in the video,”
“Will you keep it down.” This time iwaizumi groans before covering his face with his hands. “We’ve been weird for a few months now” he ignores the shock on his friends face. “When you came up with the concept, I don't know my mind just automatically drifted.”
It took a moment for the shock to wear off before Oikawa speaks back up. “Are you two dating? What else have you been keeping from me. Your best friend might I add”
“Would you shut up. We’re not dating it’s just-“
“That’s even worse,” Oikawa scoffs. “Not only do you keep the fact that you’re hooking up with (Y/N) a secret for who knows how long, but you’re not even dating to soften the wound.” He easily dodges the shove aimed at him by getting up. You’d be back soon and he figured he’d move back to his spot in the chair. Especially now.
“You know Iwa, the two of you had chemistry. I’m sure I won't be the only one who picks up on that.”
— — — — — — — —
“Iwa say something fun for once so (Y/N) can actually look like they wanna be here. We’re gonna reshoot that moment.” At the call from Oikawa you let out a laugh, head instinctively falling on Iwaizumi’s chest. “And Y/N, run your finger across his lip or something. You two are so stiff”
“He’s not funny.” You can feel the words vibrate through his chest as you sit up a bit. As you do, you feel the way his finger shifts from your clothed back to the bare skin under the T-shirt.
“You gotta admit he is sometimes,” you laugh out. “But he’s right. Come on Haiji, loosen up. This is for your first single off your long awaited album,” you exclaim sitting up fully now on the mattress. Iwaizumi can’t help but smile at the lilt in your voice before following suit.
When he asked you to be the love interest in his music video you were kind of shocked. Sure, being friends with several musicians you’d been in your share of music videos. But never as a lead or a love interest. He’d asked you one night as he was heading home from a recording session. You’d stopped by after work seeing several of your friends there (working or just messing around, who knows). Everyone else had headed home for the night and he casually bought it up.
“Hey Y/N?” The sound of his voice stopped you as you began heading to the door, Iwazumi trailing behind. You hummed a bread acknowledgement before turning to face the man.
“What’s up?” Your eyes furrowed in concern. Something was off about him. He almost seemed nervous but you couldn’t be sure.
“I chose the first single off the new album. Always Forever.” The news was a surprise to you. He’d been grappling between a few songs off the future release for a few weeks now, confiding in you several times about not knowing what to pick. He hadn’t told you that he finally decided on a track. “Oikawa came up with a video concept like the next day too-“ he was stalling. Something he only did when he was nervous. The speed at which your friend who had directed and produced several music videos for Iwazumi in the past peeked your interest.
“I need a love interest and i was wondering if you’d be cool with it,” the words came out rushed and low but you still picked up on it and you felt your heart flutter for a moment. He was nervous. Nervous to ask you to be in his video. Your answer came embarrassingly quick yet you ignored it and played it off.
“Of course. You got anyone else in mind for the video?”
“It’s just us.”
“Oh.” And after that a flurry of scheduling, planning, costuming and more you were ready to go.
You were currently shooting the first of several bedroom scenes. This particular one had you clad in just a T-shirt and pretty tight shorts, halfway cuddled onto Iwaizumi the two of you faux conversing.
“Hey just relax. We've been close before-“
“Not in front of a camera,” Iwaizumi groans, flopping back on the bed. The warmth on the bare skin of your back has you looking at him eyebrows raised. “No ones paying attention to us right now. Besides, they wouldn’t be able to tell.” You feel his hand slide up and down your back careful not to drag the fabric of your shirt up. You don’t miss the way he eyes you blatantly checking you out. “You look really good.
“Just wait to you see the look for that scene”
And it didn’t disappoint. The minute Iwaizumi saw you step onto the set he was speechless. Of course this was the outfit he’d be kissing you in. “I look good don’t I? Yachi did it again,” you give a quick spin in the outfit. The orange silky fabric hugged you in all the right ways and looked as if it was made only for you.
“Wow.” It was the only thing he’d said causing you to laugh. He’d thought that Oikawa had been exaggerating when he teased that you were going to look good hot in the video, because you always looked amazing to him. He made a mental note to fuss at his friend later for not giving him a heads up that you’d be looking like that.
“Like it,” you question, pushing him back towards the bed prop. You were vaguely aware of Oikawa telling you to get in place and we’re only helping Iwaizumi out. The grip on your wrist had you stopping.
“You look amazing,” you felt your confidence skyrocket as he eyed you. That and your heart flutter at the subtle caress against the underside of your wrist. It took for one obnoxious whistle by the director to break him out of his trance. Good thing too because he almost acted in a way that would’ve shown everyone there that the two of you were more than just friends. You couldn't help but laugh at the scowl sent Oikawa’s way.
The two of you made your way onto the mattress and you let Iwaizumi get settled first. This particular scene had you straddling him and the reality of having to do so was finally hitting you. You're thankful for the set commotion going on around you—it means Iwaizumi’s tease isn’t heard by anyone else. “Nervous? Not like it’s your first time doing this.” Its enough to break the nerves that had started to form as you take his outstretched hand to help you up.
“No wandering hands,” you whisper once you're finally settled, his eyes immediately catching yours. You don’t miss the way his breath catches for only a moment as you shift lightly across his lap before your hands find their way to his chest.
“I could tell you the same thing” His hands find their way onto either of your thighs giving the slightest squeeze.
“I hope you know I’m coming over tonight.” This causes him to laugh and you can’t help but smile back.” He jokes that he was already planning on that before you two are taken out of the little bubble you’d found yourselves into.
“Remember you two have to kiss. Build it up slow. Put all that sexual tension you’ve got going to good use.” Your eyes widen quickly shifting to the man underneath you to gauge his reaction to Oikawa's words. He offers you the finest nod, an apology before flicking his friend off ignoring his “just saying Iwa,” before telling them to start the music.
The track is so loud you could feel the bass practically through your body. You listen for the cue as your lean down face hovering over his. You're thankful for the moments before the camera rolls as it allows Iwaizumi to calm the nerves that had started growing again. “You ok?” Despite nodding, he saw right through you.
His response is to guide one of your hands to his face, discreetly placing a kiss on your palm. “Relax. Pretend it’s just us. Just me and you. Can you do that.” You feel the hand not facing the camera offering comforting rubs along your leg before nodding. The part of the song nears closer as you lean in, lips ghosting his. “Good.”
Little did you know the part right before had been recorded as well. As soon as your cue hit your lips here on his. Moving as if you’d done this a million times rather than 1. The kiss started out as slow, lips moving hesitantly due to your awareness that you were in fact on camera. You’d pulled back just the tiniest bit almost ready to ask if that were good before Iwaizumi quickly stopped you. “Relax baby,” before pressing his lips back to yours. The words sent several emotions through you. He’d never called you that before. Yet it was enough to shake the hesitation. You allowed yourself to get loss in the kiss and in the way he smiled against your lips. You were vaguely aware of Oikawa yelling out praises and more instruction.
“Keep your hand right there (YN)!” “Soften the grip just a little” “Wait Iwa let Y/N take the lead”
You pulled away when the need to breathe overcame you. Your eyes locked on his now shiny lips, a quiet apology escaping you.
The sound of footsteps quickly approaching you forced you to slide yourself off his lap and onto the edge of the bed instead. “Well that was—hot. Now I’m gonna need you two to do it again. I want to try a different angle”
— — — — — — —
It’d been two hours since the music video dropped and you had to shut your phone off while you were at work. You’d been getting tagged in dozens of tweets. Fans of Iwaizumi are either speculating ‘I just knew (YN) was dating someone. You’re not friends with that many musicians and can’t not be’ or complaining that their fav was in a relationship or could’ve done better, or better yet that he was still dating Oikawa and they weren’t ready to go public. You haven't spoken to Iwaizumi since the night before when you saw the final version, edits and all before he dropped you off.
You sigh in relief when you see the time and that you could finally go to lunch. Turning your phone on, you clock out and scroll through the notifications on your phone. A few from friends, congratulating the video or suggestive emojis with question marks. The only one that stands out are three texts from Iwaizumi
You take lunch at 12:30 right?
Coming by with food
Hey, whenever you’re out I’m parked out back. Far end of the lot.
Despite your surprise you send a text confirming that you were on the way before heading out.
“What did I do to earn lunch from the Iwaizumi Hajime? Famous singer and wet dream to many.” It’s the first thing you say when you see him. He’d reached over to open the door and you hadn’t even gotten in yet. You only laugh at the look he shoots at you, knowing it was fake annoyance as he told you to just get in the car.
“Congrats on the single. And the video,”
“Couldn’t have done it without you.” You watch as he reaches in the bag to pull out a takeaway bag from one of your favorite spots. “So I brought you lunch. Figured I’d treat you for being in the video.” You gratefully take the container offering a thanks and follow his lead as he scoots his seat back. He almost looks as if he wanted to say something else but decided against it, instead turning on the aux. You’re aware of the way his eyes keep falling on you as you eat and it has a feeling of unease settling in.
“You gonna eat or keep staring at me?” The words come out quieter than you wanted them to and you mentally curse yourself for it. He mumbles an awkward sorry which has you shifting uncomfortably in the seat. Something was up. You finish your lunch unusually fast. Maybe it was due to the way you forced your focus onto the meal rather than the strange tension that had settled in the air. The sound of Iwaizumi clearing his throat has you looking back at him and you suddenly find yourself annoyed at the dark sunglasses covering his eyes and thoughts.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something. But I figured I’d let you eat first just in case we ran out of time.” He motions for you to hand him your trash before moving the bag out the way. The way he nervously knots the bag does nothing to settle your own thoughts. “It’s about the video, well kind of”
“Do people hate it?” Your voice comes out disappointed. Not because of people’s thoughts of you, but you knew how much this song meant to him. He chose it as the single for a reason and wanted it to be the start of releasing his favorite album yet. You’d heard about how late he got back from the studio, and even witnessed some of his writing sessions for it and the intensity, care and passion that went into each song.
“I haven't been online much today but from what I’ve seen they like it. But that’s not what I mean. I kinda wanted to talk about us.”
“Yeah,” he sighs before removing his sunglasses to face you. “Oikawa knows about us messing around. He found out yesterday when you went to the bathroom. Said we had chemistry and he put two and two together.” He rushes the words out but you’re still able to understand. “Listen, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want him to like blabber it to you. Sometimes I hate how smart he is.”
You let out the tiniest laugh. “Dude why were you so nervous to tell me that Oiks knows were sleeping together.” Suddenly all the tension that had been building seemingly cleared. “Like you said. He’s smart. I’m surprised it’s taken this long.” You watch as he considers your words before agreeing.
“He told me that others would be able to pick up on our chemistry. Mattsun and Makki both texted me about the video so I guess he was right.” This time you agree. You’d gotten your own texts from mutual friends. Friends who should’ve been focused on their tours overseas rather than your love life. You’d have to remember to text Kuroo back later.
“Speaking of that. There’s one more thing I wanted to say. Actually it’s why i came down here.” You watch as he turns down the radio completely before grabbing at one of your hands. “I haven't slept with anyone else since you and everyone was right. We do have chemistry and I like you.”
“Are you asking me out,” your hand tightens slightly around his before he nods.
“I’m asking you to be my girlfriend, if that’s ok with you? We already made out on camera, it’ll be really awkward if you say no,” he teases. He could already tell by the way your eyes lit up. He also may have gotten a confirmation from a friend that you were into him too.
“Skipping the dating stage? How bold of you. But I guess I’m gonna have to say yes. I like you too. But now you have to write a song about me.” It’s you that leans in first but he’s quick to follow his handling coming to rest on your cheek. His next words have you pausing and pulling away right before your tips touched his, much to his annoyance.
“Already done that. Several times”
“Wait are you serious,” his lips come to meet your cheek as you avoid him yet again. “What songs.”
“Can we talk about this later. I kinda want to kiss my girlfriend before she has to go back to work.” His eyes shift towards the clock and you see that it’s almost time for you to head back.
“Come on just one song Haiji.”
“Kiss first. Song second,” he sighs in compromise, pulling your face back towards him. You roll your eyes before agreeing, placing your lips on his. Unfortunately for him your phone's alarm goes off signaling it was time for you to head back. You can’t help but laugh at the way Iwaizumi groans in annoyance. “See now it’s time for you to go,” he scolds before pressing a quick peck against your lips. Then a second and third before pulling back for good. “Can I come over tonight?”
“Not unless you tell me a song.” Your hand creeps towards the door handle as he stays silent. “I’m leavingggg. You got 15 seconds.” You mentally start counting down as you put more and more pressure on the door handle. Right as you reach 1 he speaks.
“Learn Ya is about you. Now I’ll see you tonight.” With that he gently pushes you out the car, rolling the window down as you start walking back. “Have a good day.”
a/n: now listen idk what this is or if it even makes sense. all i know is that i wanted to be both bryson and lani and didnt know who i was more jealous of. and iwa gives me bryson vibes. also wrote this over several days little by little and did not read in its entirety so who knows if it even makes sense. I also think i wanna do a whole rnb boy series so yeah
im thinking suna next but also big sean and jhene dropped the body language video just hours ago and the ideas are....swimming. might fit suna bc i dont see him as the best rapper like sean but makes hits anyways
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If It's Monday This Must Be Florida
"WHOT on a hot Miami morning, November 24, 2025, playin' the hottest hits with the hottest news and that was "Empatica" by Cumbia de Colombia, number 5 on our top 20 chart of hotties here at WHOT. This is Michelle Marlin gettin' you up on Monday morning.
"Yeah, well, Monday morning . . . That's as bad as it can be anyway . . .
"But come on, you can do it!
"Anyway, here is a little light entertainment for you this morning: a surprising little girl, named The New Little Princess, is with us. She went viral last June with her 9th birthday party video, featuring four original songs and allegedly 'supersonic' piano playing . . . well, we'll see if she takes off this morning.
[Giggling in the background]
"She then pulled off another hit with her videopack "Caribbean Princess", filmed on the beach at Livingston, Guatemala: the song you heard last August from it must have been 'Moon Kid'".
"Finally, after she was a hit with her original 'Frijos Frijoles', at Pina Colada's Lincoln Park Fiesta in Los Angeles last September, Pina Colada signed The New Little Princess as their newest Latin star.
"And you're still only nine years old, isn't that right, Princess?"
"Aye, and will be another nine months or so, I think," says the Princess.
"But what's it like for you, being a superstar at your age? I mean, do you ever get to play?" Michelle asks.
"Play? What's that?" the Princess says.
"I remember I used to do it in Guatemala but I don't think I've played once since we moved to America last September, unless it were a piano or a synthesiser," says the Princess.
"But isn't that rough on you, at your age? Don't you miss it?" asks Michelle.
"If ya dunno' think about somethin', ya canno' miss it," says the Princess. "I just always have to be somewhere, doin' somethin' and that's what I am thinkin' about. I'm no' sittin' there sayin' 'Oh, I wish I could be playin' or somethin'!’. Haven't got the time."
"And you've been touring early morning radio this month," Michelle says.
"Aye," says the Princess. "Every morning I'm somewhere else. We dunno' even go back to our house in Crummer Canyon anymore. Just stay in hotels ridin' the bullet from one town to the next. If it's Monday, this must be Florida."
"Got it, Princess!" says Michelle. "Good guess. Well, I guess, as the Chinese say, Little Princess, you live 'in interesting times'. Now, you have a new song for us?"
"Aye," says the Princess.
"Well, what's it called?" Michelle says.
"Freedom To Dream," says the Princess.
"And what's it about?" Michelle asks.
"Well, at first it was just I wanted Mummy to let me sleep longer," the Princess says, giggling. "But now I think it means somethin' different. Freedom for everyone to dream their future. Even the people of Guatemala."
"Yes, I know you've been fighting for your country through songs the past few months. But it's not even really your country, is it?" says Michelle.
"Well, I weren't born there, if that's what ya mean. But 'tis my country now, 'cos I've been fightin' for it. And the last thing the Presidenta did before she died, on Independence Day, was to make me a citizen!" says the Princess.
"OK, citizen Princess! Take it away!" Michelle says.
A slide guitar leads, with bass and percussion. The Princess' electric piano cannot be heard. The style of the music is like the first half of the video at the bottom of this page.
Then the percussion machine kicks in.
And then the Princess starts singing.
Somewhere, where the stars are brighter
Where the moon's light
Is a little more . . . magical!
Somewhere, where the air is clearer
And the people are more sincere
In their pursuit of justice.
Take us away from this
We wanna wake up in Wonderland
We wanna be free from the burdens of sanity
Just give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream.
Please give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream
. . . Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet . . . yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Where the skies are bluer
Where the people are truer
In what they say and do
I'll be there
And when I get there
I'll be waitin'
Waitin' for you!
Take us away from this
We wanna wake up in Wonderland
We wanna be free from the burdens of sanity
Just give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream.
Please give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream
. . . Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet . . . yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Don't wake me up
THREE ANGELS: Wake me up, wake me up
Never wanna wake up
THREE ANGELS: Wake up, Wake up
There's so much to do I don't wanna do
Places to be where I hate to be
And you're the only thing that I wanna see!
Yeah, somewhere, at the end of the rainbow
At the end of all the trouble
At the end of the day
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Somewhere, at the end of the song
That's gone on too long
This is what I
This is all I want to say
Take us away from this
We wanna wake up in Wonderland
We wanna be free from the burdens of sanity
Just give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream.
Please give us freedom to dream
We only want freedom to dream
. . . Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet, sweet dreams
THREE ANGELS: Dream away, dream away now
Sweet . . . yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ends with, one octave apart: "Sweet . . . dreams."
"Wow, Princess, what a song!" Michelle says.
"Cheers, Michelle," the Princess says.
"And you thought that up all by yourself?" asks Michelle.
"It's not like that anymore. We all work on it together. We canno' say anymore, 'Oh, that's mine. That's his.'," says the Princess.
"And they get better that way, don't they?" Michelle says.
"Aye, truth be told," the Princess says.
"Here, have some Florida orange juice, Princess, to celebrate being here," says Michelle.
"Cheers," the Princess says.
"What d'you think of it . . . do people really call you 'Princess' all the time? I mean, you must have a name, don't you?" Michelle says.
"Yeah, the juice is OK. We have it in Guatemala, almost the same, not always so sweet. Well, me name is Mary Elizabeth MacAlistair-Castleton. In public, everyone calls me 'Princess' and I'm halfway kinda sorta gettin' used to it," the Princess says.
The Princess and Michelle both laugh.
"But me family and friends have always called me 'Mimi'," says the Princess.
"Wow, that's interesting . . . Mimi. You have more names than many people have credit cards," Michelle says.
"'Ve got nicks too," says the Princess. "Like, on the ICT, they call me 'the Altrincham Cat', because I grew up in Altrincham in England. In Guatemala, me friends called me 'Mimicita'. Dad calls me 'Little Bird' (mimicking his Cantabridgian accent) and Mum calls me 'Lassie' 'cos she's Scottish. And sometimes, what they call me on the ICT . . . I cannot say them now or I'll get a smack from me Mum, just there."
The Princess giggles again.
"Now, Mimi," Michelle says. "Is it OK if I call you 'Mimi'?"
"Sure," says the Princess.
"Do you wanna talk to your fans here in Miami-Dade County?" Michelle says.
"Sure. 'd love it!" says the Princess.
"OK, who have we got up first?" Michelle says. "Alexandria? From where? From Ft Lauderdale. OK, you're on Alexandria."
"Do you like to hang out at the beach?" Alexandria says.
"Aye," the Princess says. "And we've got the best beach in the world in Guatemala, called Playa Blanca, a pure deed knock-off of Heaven! We love to run our papalotes there along the sea and set them free to fly away."
"What are papalotes?" asks Alexandria.
"We fly them in the sky," says the Princess. "Uh . . . yeah, I remember! You call them . . . 'kites'."
"Oh, kites!" says Alexandria.
"Yeah," says the Princess."
"Did you ever go to Miami Beach? Or The Hub?" says Alexandria.
"No," says the Princess. "Dad and I used to go to Venice Beach when we first came to Los Angeles. We used to go there to laugh at the bampots. But now we're too far away and there's no time."
"OK, next question for the Princess," says Michelle. "Here is Tommy from the U of M."
"Hi, Princess," says Tommy.
"Hi, Tommy," says Princess.
"Look, you are doing these radio shows and singing these songs," Tommy says. "And a lot o' people like 'em. Hey, I like 'em too."
"Cheers, Tommy," says the Princess.
"Well, OK," says Tommy. "But do you feel you're getting anywhere? That junta is still in power in Guatemala and they even took over their neighbour, Belize, this month. I mean, don't you get frustrated? Are you going to accomplish anything?"
"Oh, Tommy, you dunno' know," the Princess says. "I sound happy, singin' these songs. And singin' makes me happy like it does everybody. But I cry me-self to sleep every night, in the hotels, sayin' 'how many people died in Guatemala today 'cos I wasn't good enough?' I'll tell you this. You say you like the songs. That makes me happy. Love to be loved. But if I were just doin' this for Pina Colada, for money, I wouldn't be so good. I'm singin' for me people. That's what I want people to understand. I have to be the best. I get singin' lessons every day."
The Princess sings "La, la,la, la, la, la, la," a C scale.
"Uh . . . a tad off there," she says.
" 'Cos me li'l voice isn't strong enough yet," says the Princess. "That's where I learn to do those one-octave stretches you've heard in me songs lately. And I work on breathin' . . ."
The Princess breathes through her mouth, audibly.
"'Cos people's lives depend on it," the Princess says. "This is not just singin' 'round the school piano for a lark like we used to do in Guatemala City. If I'm off, people won't send e-mails to their leaders. They won't put money in the Freedom Fund. And then me singin' is just backscatter, music to watch people die by. And I'd rather stand against that wall for fusilamiento in their place than do that!"
"But you can't overthrow a government can you?" Tommy asks.
"I know that," the Princess says. "But if I were single-handed, nobody would know about this, would they? Li'l girl, skrikin' on the playground. It's millions of you guys, la fuerza de los patojos movilizados, that made President Hemingway tell Congress what's happenin' in Guatemala. And I know, eventually, she and the other countries will do somethin'. You lot blocked up their inboxes last September with Guatemala messages, after "Elizabeth Rose" came out, they couldn't get any other e-mail: that's what we need, again and again. In my heart, I know President Hemingway, Prime Minister Benjamin, in Britain, all of them are good. They're just slow. We'll get them there. Keep the pressure on! And not only them because you lot dunno' have a junta: it's not just one bloke hidin' behind five. Me Dad explained this to me last night. You've got Representatives and Senators and all manner of things. Just like we used to in Guatemala. So now write to the lot: every one You've got to get all of them walkin' around your capital sayin' 'Guatemala, Guatemala, Gua-te-ma-la. Go and find out where that li'l country is and do somethin' about them.' Then we're in the road goin' ta freedom!"
"If anybody can get them there, little Princess, it's you," Tommy says.
"Och, chattin' macca: it's you - and millions like you. Never forget it!" the Princess says. "If ya ever start thinkin' the li'l 9-year-old patoja from Guatemala's gonna do everything - or anything - my people are a cooked tampado. If anybody can get them there, it's you, Tommy - and your friends and neighbours and relatives. So, Princesisto, get in the road!"
"I'm gonna go send some e-mail to the President right now," says Tommy. "And also the two Senators from Florida and the Congressman from the University district and the Governor of Florida, too!" says Tommy.
"That's the spirit, me bessie!" says the Princess.
Princess Out Among The Cowboys
Monday, 10 November 2025 Tucson, Arizona, U.S.A. 7.37 am
"Cowboy Marcus here on KTSO radio and that was Tina Mendes with her new hit "La Fuerza". Ok everybody, are you eatin' your Honey-Nut Cheerios? Gettin' ready for school? Goin' to work?
"We got your back here on KTSO, with music to get you movin'.
"And surprises like this . . .
"We have a special treat this morning . . . She's young . . . she's cute . . . she's talented and you know her, although you may not have heard her talk before. She's The New Little Princess!
"How are you Princess? We wanna give you an Arizona "Howdy!" welcome and thank you for getting up early to come here and talk to us all. So how's it goin' in Princessland?"
She yawns audibly.
"Oh, sorry!" she says and giggles.
"That's OK, Princess. That about answers everything. You are sleepy!" Cowboy says.
"Aye. 'Tis true. You caught me out," says the Princess.
"When did you get up this mornin'?" asks Cowboy.
"5. [yawn] 30," says the Princess.
"Wow, 5.30! And here you are two hours later? Bullet train, right?" says Cowboy.
"Right," says the Princess.
"And you do this everyday?" Cowboy asks.
"Monday through Friday," the Princess says.
"Wow, it's not so easy being a superstar is it?" says Cowboy.
"Superstar, supertired!" says the Princess.
"Now, you're gonna sing something for us?" Cowboy asks.
"Right," says the Princess.
"What is it?" Cowboy asks.
"A new song," the Princess says.
"English or Latin?" asks Cowboy.
"English," the Princess says.
"Your own?" Cowboy says.
"Aye," says the Princess.
"Pop?" Cowboy asks.
"More like rock n' roll. Old style music," the Princess says.
"What's it called?" Cowboy asks.
"Princesistos, Princesistas," says the Princess.
"What does that mean?" asks Cowboy.
"I call me fans 'Princesistos' and 'Princesistas'," the Princess says.
"Ok, all you Princesistos and Princesistas out there. If you're a fan of the Princess, or like a lot of people out here in Tucson call her, "La Princesita", you've got a name now and there it is! And now the New Little Princess is gonna sing her new song about you and for you, so listen up!" Cowboy says.
An electric piano, backed up by an electric bass guitar, an electric guitar, a percussion machine, and a looper introduce the song. Just a few melodies.
Then the Princess sings:
You say you like me
You say you love me
But will you be there, huh?
When push comes to shove?
You say you like me
You say you love me
But it takes more than a click
To prove your love to me!
Right now get it straight now:
It's not just wearin'
Flowers in your hair
'Cos you just look like
If in your heart there's nothin' to see
There's nothin' there
About my people
And you don't care!
That's all you,
Hey, I'm not there!
Cos' gettin' the look
And singin' the songs
Like there's no tomorrow
When tomorrow's long gone
Hey, whatcha gonna do about the people dyin'?
Whatcha gonna do about the children cryin'?
'Cos it's no good to love me
When you don't care
Then you're just confused
(Spoken:) And 'we are not amused'
Let's get in the road
Save the people
Yeah, share the load
Hey, it's all up to you
I'm 9 years old
What the hell can I do?
Throw a few Units at the Freedom Fund
A Unit a day puts a Gen'ral on the run
You've got to send those e-mails, sugar
You've got to tell your President:
Right now, hey
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Do this dance!
Yeah, lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Guatemala one chance, yeah!
Musical Interlude - The Princess "teases" Coco Loco, her lead guitarist, by copying everything he does on his electric guitar on her electric piano, at "supersonic" speed, with plenty of Princessyglissandoes and flourishes thrown around his riffs for good measure.
You say you like me
You gave me downloads
Well, I'll say thank you
But I've got a shitload
I cannot love you
When the kids are dyin' in the street
Livin' on tortillas
When you're livin' on meat
I mean it's what you do, hey
Not what you buy, hey
That makes the pretty, hey
[Spoken] Like . .. you know . . .
Well, so whatchugonna do, hey?
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
What else you wanna know, hey?
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Whole world, get together and
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Lock up the junta!
Come on, let's go!
(Spoken:) It bears repeatin', you know?
Princess snaps her fingers 8 times:
(Music and Singing resumes) Hey, lock up the junta
Come on, let's go!
(repeat to end)
Hey, lock up the junta
[Shouted] JUST MAKE THEM GO!
"Whew! Wow, what energy! Look at you, you're sweatin' a river and we've got the air conditioner on full-blast!" Cowboy says.
"Yeah, I do that [breathless]. Dunno' know why," the Princess says.
"OK, take some water, here," Cowboy says. "Just calm down."
"Cheers," says the Princess.
"Now, I guess we don't have to guess at the meaning of that song. You want everybody to send e-mails to the President and put some money in your Guatemala Freedom Fund so the military junta that has governed Guatemala since September gets locked up," says Cowboy. "Is that about the size of it?"
Princess gulps some water and says, "Yeah, spot on, Cowboy! You've got it! Full marks!"
"Now, would you like to introduce your band?" Cowboy asks. "I don't think people have seen them."
"Well, they were with me at Lincoln Park Fiesta. I guess people didn't notice 'cos they were so shocked to see me up there. And they've been on all me radio shows like this. They come from Pina Colada Music. They lend the band to me 'cos I'm a Pina Colada star," says the Princess. "Actually, I quite love them 'cos I'd be so boring without them. Like Princess Party. Just me and the Grandee."
"Grandee?" Cowboy says.
"Oh, that's what I call the Grand Piano I played on in Princess Party," says the Princess. It's still in Livingston, I guess, if the Army haven't looted it yet. I had two Grandees: one in Livingston and one in GC. Dunno' know wha' happened to them. Miss them, though . . . Pina Colada gave me a Mighty Synth that I'm learning. But we canno' drag it around the radio stations. It's too big. "
"GC?" Cowboy says.
"Oh, that's Guatemala City . . ."
"OK, just tell us who the band is, 'cos the audience can't see 'em of course," says Cowboy.
"Well, OK, just quickly," says the Princess. "There's Coco Loco, he's on the electric guitar. I was toying with him during the interlude you heard. Pom-Pom's on the drum machine and looper. Dunno' know how to work that thing me-self. All-About, well, he's all about that bass, like Megan said ten years ago. He can also do horns when we need. Then, me back-ups, makin' me sound halfway decent and not like a little girl or somethin', are me Three Angels."
"Coco Loco, Pom-Pom . . . are those really their names?" Cowboy asks.
"Oh no!" says the Princess. "They're the nicks I gave them. Dunno' know their proper names. Except the Angels: Angelica, Angelina and Mariangeles."
"Now, you were there, weren't you, in Guatemala, the day the President got assassinated?" Cowboy says.
The Princess' voice weakens.
"Indie . . . Independence Day. 15.9.25. The worst day in me little life," she says.
"It was a sad story. You sang us all about it in 'Elizabeth Rose,' last month, Number 3 on the ICT General Chart," Cowboy says. "She died on the floor?"
"Part on the floor and part on me," the Princess says.
Now she is talking through tears.
But then she sniffs them back and swallows hard.
"But that's," the Princess says, "That's not the point, is it? Isabelita Rosa Tarragon was a good friend and a great President. She helped the campesinos and the trabajadores. I miss her terribly, every day. But that's no' the point now, is it? 'Cos we'll never get her back and I know it."
"The point is, we have to do somethin' for the people in Guatemala now," the Princess says. "'Cos they didn't stop killin' with the President. Ordinary people are gettin' killed: for demonstratin', for strikin', for bein' in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's a friggin' killin' machine there, innit, that junta? What do soldiers do? They kill people, innit? I'm only 9 but I know that!"
"Well, yeah, that is what they do!" Cowboy says. "Soldiers, they're real good at that."
"That's it," the Princess says. "They shouldn't be anywhere near a Gov'ment. They should be locked up where they canno' kill anymore. That's what me new song's about. What are you guys doin'? Cheers for the downloads and PPVs and dressin' up like me and singin' me songs. But that's not it, is it? It's wha' are you doin' for el pueblo de Guatemala? They need somethin': not me. I've go' everything now. I only need that. If you want to be a Princesisto or Princesista, if you wanna say you're me bessies, don't just copy me: help me people. Like Jesus said, 'Feed me sheep', don't just pray to me."
"And you get that message out real forceful in that song, little girl. Do you wanna talk to the people of Tucson, now? Do you wanna hear from your fans here, right now?" Cowboy says.
"Sure," says the Princess.
"OK, first call is from Andrea in Oro Valley. What do you wanna say to the New Little Princess, Andrea? Cowboy says.
"Hi, Princess," the little girl's voice on the radio says.
"Hola, Andrea!" the Princess says.
"English or espanol?" Andrea says.
"English. It's more fair to the Americans," the Princess says.
"Can you say something bad about Conquistador Middle School?" Andrea says.
The Princess giggles.
"Somethin' bad? Somethin' bad, is it?" the Princess says.
Andrea says, "Yeah, that's right."
"How could I do it when I've never even heard of the place, let alone seen it?" the Princess says.
"Well, they're really bad," says Andrea. "Eight girls got suspended this week for wearing 'Moon Kid' antennas!"
"In school, is it?" the Princess says.
"Yeah," says Andrea.
"They wore 'tennies in class?" the Princess says.
"Yeah," says Andrea. "And they can't come back until they apologise to the teachers."
"Ee-ya, Andrea!" the Princess says. "'Tennies in class? How could anyone see the board?"
"They could see around 'em," Andrea says.
"Bu' they shouldn't have to strain their necks like that , should they?" the Princess says. "Listen, I'm the 'Moon Kid' but I never even thought to wear 'tennies in class. I'd have go' a lot worse than sent home, in Guatemala! Ee-ya!"
"So you think the teachers were right?" Andrea says.
"I will say the kiddies were wrong," the Princess says. "They blocked the other kids' view of the board and the teachers' view of the kids. 'Tennies aren't for class. They're for playtime or on the beach. In school, you have to think o' school, not me. I think those kids should say 'I'm sorry' to the teachers and to their classmates. They threw a widget in the works. Being Princesistas doesn't mean swashin' Princessthingies at school!"
"Oh," says Andrea. "Well, I'll tell them what you said."
"Cheers, Andrea," says the Princess. "Look, I've got a better idea. Mum, have we got some time to stop there?"
"Got to be back at the studio in LA this afternoon," Sal, the Princess' mother, says in the background.
"Och!" says the Princess. "Run from pillar to post I am! Well Andrea, me bessie, please be a dear and make peace there for me. Tell the Princesistas not to quarrel with their teachers, won't you?"
"Uh-huh," says Andrea.
"Cheers, Andrea," the Princess says. "Tell them Princessthings are for after school or at playtime, OK?"
"OK," says Andrea.
"That's a dear," says the Princess. "And some day I'll come back to Tucson in the daytime and I'll come to . . . Conk . . . What is it?"
"Conquistador Middle School," Andrea says.
"Right, I'll come there and say 'Hola' to all me Princesistos and Princesisstas and also to their teachers," says the Princess.
"That would be great!" says Andrea.
"Somehow, some day, I'll get there!" says the Princess.
"Bye-bye!" says Andrea.
"Ta-ra," says the Princess.
"And the next fan on the phone is Mark from North Alvernon Way," says Cowboy.
"Hi," says Mark.
"Hello Mark," says the Princess.
"When are you gonna do a concert in Tucson? Everybody I know wants you to come." Mark says.
"Ooh," says the Princess. "Not allowed to do concerts yet. We're workin' on a Christmas videopack called "Princesita". If enough of them sell, maybe Pina Colada'll put me on a concert tour. So, if you want to see me, download "Princesita" when we release it 'round Christmas time . . . "
"I will and so will everybody I know!" says Mark.
"OK," Cowboy says. "That's all we've got time for now. But I hope we'll see you again and again in Tucson. You're always mighty welcome!"
"Cheers, Cowboy!" says the Princess. "I hope I can come back. 'Cos it's a nice town wi' nice people."
a/n: and that’s the end! phew, that was super fun :) this was my first full length fic for Iwaizumi and you know what? It’s what he deserves
Warnings: fluff, jerk tries to hit on you in a bar but doesn’t succeed, mentions of alcohol bc youre going to a bar, iwa almost gets into a fight, YOU almost get into a fight but everything turns out ok bc fluff
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
Iwaizumi shrugs beside you. “Sure, a few more hours couldn’t hurt. I’ve been wanting to experience the California nightlife anyway.” If Iwaizumi’s in, so are you, and soon you find yourself standing in a room lit by neon lights and vibrating with the bass of the music being pumped in through the speakers. Alora and her boyfriend disperse to get some dancing done, and soon, everyone’s gone, it’s just you and Iwaizumi. Knowing her, Alora probably got them all in on some master plan to get you a boyfriend. You turn to him, “So, how long have you been in California?”
“I don’t think so.” He taps you playfully on the nose. “It’s my turn in our little game, don’t tell me you forgot!” Oh, the questions. You decide not to tell him that you had actually forgotten. “Of course not!” He gives you an unimpressed look but lets it slide. “What’s your favorite drink?” Because he’s such a gentleman, he disappears into the crowd to get it for you. It’s only for a few minutes, but you miss the lingering heat of him pressed to your side already.
You really should’ve known better. This was a seedy LA bar. As soon as Iwaizumi left, some random stranger sidled up to you with a lame pick up line. “So, what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?”
“Waiting for my friends,” you say politely, trying to get him to please take the hint. He does not. “Come on, smile! You would look prettier if you smile.” You sigh, “I’m really not interested.” He started getting more aggressive. “Don’t be such a bitch, let me buy you a drink. You need to loosen up or you won’t get a date.” You ignore him and start scrolling through Instagram on your phone, and then he does the unthinkable - he makes a grab for it. You avoid it but gasp and look up, now thoroughly annoyed. “What the hell, man?” He glares at you. “When a guy like me is talking to a girl like you, you don’t ignore me. I’m the only one in this club nice enough to give you the attention you obviously want,” he sneers, “so don’t act so arrogant.” At this point, you’re fed up. When you first came to California, you took a few self defense classes with Alora, and you brought mace with you. You don’t really want to start a fight, but you’ll do what it takes to protect yourself. Subtly, you shift your stance so it’ll be hard to knock you off your feet. “I said no.” When he reaches out, you slap his hand away. “Fuck off, if someone isn’t interested, you need to learn to take no for an answer.” You’re absolutely livid when Iwaizumi comes back and sets the drinks down, only to wrap one of his strong arms around your shoulders. “Hey babe, is this loser bothering you?”
The man looked at Iwaizumi. Unbelievably strong, buff, handsome Iwaizumi, with biceps that could crush a watermelon, and thought ‘No. This is the hill I’m gonna die on.’ You almost felt bad for him. Almost. He said, “Hey, I wasn’t talking to you, just leave, dude.” Iwaizumi glares at him and subtly moves so he’s partially in front of you. “When my girlfriend, or any other girl, actually, tells you to back off, you really need to learn to take a hint,” he snaps. The man scoffs, “Sure, she’s your girlfriend,” and then Iwaizumi wraps you under his arm, turns your face towards him, and kisses your cheek, letting your hair obscure his face. It must’ve looked like you were actually kissing to anyone else watching. Dimly, you register that Alora’s back with her boyfriend, and suddenly the man looks way less eager to pick a fight with four people, especially Alora, who has the muscles of a Greek god and just as much willingness to murder a man. Iwaizimi’s warm breath ghosts over your cheek as he pulls away. “Power move,” you hear Alora’s boyfriend drunkenly slur behind you. Iwaizumi pulls away but keeps his forehead leaning against yours. “Hey. You okay? Sorry about that, just figured it was better than starting a fight.” Out of the corner of your eye, you see the man start to leave as Alora yells in his face, shoving her finger into his chest.
You wave it off, “No, thank you, that was really sweet of you to step in. We should probably keep Alora from actually fighting him though,” and reach over to grab your best friend’s hands before she can start something. She huffs, “I’m getting the bouncer. Loser.” The last part she directs at the man’s retreating form. Iwaizumi grins and hands you the drink he brought. “I thought you had it handled pretty well though. You looked cool. Very tough.” You toss it back in one shot and smile to yourself. He thinks you look cool? With the combination of the drink and newfound confidence in your veins, you feel on top of the world. When Alora comes back from getting the man kicked out, she’s still sober and yet having the most fun of anyone there. She buys you another drink, your favorite, and starts relentlessly hyping you up. “That’s my best friend!” She screams above the roar of the crowd as you head to the dance floor, dragging Iwaizumi behind you.
The alcohol starts kicking in and you’re a little drunk and giggly, throwing it back on Iwa. He’s a little embarrassed but grinning and keeping you steady as he very awkwardly sways back and forth. He’s not good at dancing, but he’s so competent with everything else you figure it’s a worthy trade. You spin around as the music changes from edm to pop, both completely unsuitable for the slow dance you’re trying to do, but it doesn’t matter to you as you loop your arms around his neck. “Hey there,” he peers down at you, amused. “You doing alright?” You rest your head on his shoulder and keep dancing. “Never better! I want another drink.” He frowns, concerned. “Are you sure?” As Alora’s boyfriend passes by, offering everyone more alcohol, you grab one and down it. Then another, and another, until Iwaizumi gently grabs your hand. “I know you probably know your limits, but I think that’s enough. You wanna sit down?” But you shake your head. You need the liquid courage for what comes next. It feels almost like you’re back on the beach, surfing, because of the warm tingle in your veins, and you giggle to yourself. Iwa tucks your hair behind your ear with a fond smile as he adjusts his hold on your waist. “Iwaizumi,” you say mock-seriously, but you keep breaking character and giggling. “I’m listening,” he hums. “Will you be my boyfriend?” Then, you black out and the rest of the night is a blur. Throughout it all, you vaguely remember someone’s warm presence at your back, and the heat of their hand on your hips, a lifeline to safety.
When you wake up, somehow you’re back home and your phone is blowing up, which is not great because you have the worst hangover in the history of hangovers. You reach up to rub at the makeup that is probably still stuck to your face when you realize it’s gone. Someone, probably Alora, knocks at your door and you groan, “I think I’m dying, come in.” Iwaizumi chuckles and walks in, and you shoot straight up, your spine suddenly rigid, but you instantly regret it as your head pounds. He rushes over, “Hey, be careful, you drank a lot last night,” and leaves a glass of water on your bedside table. You gratefully chug the water. “What happened last night?” He eyes you carefully. “You don’t remember? I can tell you. Wait, let me make you breakfast first,” and with that, he heads off to the kitchen, leaving Alora to poke her head in.
“Hey, you’re up!” she beams and pounces onto your bed. She pokes your cheek playfully and sing-songs, “This is why I don’t drink.” You smile and reach over blindly with your eyes closed to pat her head, “Thanks for taking my makeup off last night,” only to hear her giggle. “Oh no, that wasn’t me. That was all Iwaizumi~” Your eyes shoot open. “Yeah, turns out he’s our neighbor! He helped me bring you home and then he helped me get you ready for the night. How much did you even drink? Wait, no, I don’t want to know.” She smiles and cuddles up next to you. “I really like him for you, by the way. He’s sweet and a gentleman and I think he likes you, too.”
Iwaizumi coughs in the doorway. “Ladies. Breakfast is ready.” You laugh awkwardly and too high pitched, hoping he hadn’t heard that. “Yeah,” more awkward giggles, “We’ll be right there, just give us a minute!” Alora shakes her head, “Thanks for the offer, but I’m grabbing brunch with my boyfriend. You should sit with yn and eat though, bye!” And she’s gone, just like that.
He sits right next to you, and lets you eat, watching your eyes melt closed in pleasure at the taste of his amazing protein pancakes. “It’s good!” You beam at him. “Thanks,” he smiles at your puffy, chipmunk like cheeks. “Don’t mind me, keep eating.” When you finish, he gets up to clear the dishes, but then sits back down at the table with you. “I think we should talk.” You freeze. You almost forgot about confessing to him last night. “Do you remember what you said?” You wince. “I think I asked you to be my boyfriend?” “Do you remember what I said afterwards?” Uh oh. That didn’t sound good. ‘Is he rejecting me?’ you wonder. “Um, no, I passed out.” You hazard an awkward smile, wishing things would go back to feeling light and easy between the two of you again. “Oh.” He looks a little disappointed, or are you imagining it? “Well, I asked you if you could ask me again when you’re sober.”
What the hell. You peek up at him through your lashes - he doesn’t look like he’s joking. He doesn’t seem like the type to joke about something like this, anyway. “Iwa. Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah, sure. Want more pancakes?”
You pause and look at each other, then burst into laughter.
Bonus! when Alora comes back a few hours later:
Alora giggled. “You know your Iwa is kind of a dork, right? Like I know he’s Mr. Hot Biceps and all, but when we were in the lab, he was such a nerd. He’s totally playing up the cool, suave guy act to try and impress you.” It’s Iwaizumi’s turn to be embarrassed by Alora’s stories. “Stop!” He tries to bargain with her, but she shakes her head. “Nuh-uh, if you’re yn’s friend, then we’re like, super close now. I’m an equal opportunity bully!”
Lili’s Comments: no editing, we die like men, kindly ignore any mistakes you see this was 4.5 k words in total and i’m not dealing with it :)
I’m gonna miss you, Alora 😭😭 maybe she’ll make a comeback in another fic tho, who knows
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Chatfic #1: Baby Cale, Mattdrai, Mr. Bass Pro Shop, and Ghosts
chatficcing with jaime (@pleasetazerme)!
pairings: mitch marner/connor mcdavid, leon draisaitl/matthew tkachuk, noah hanifin/jack eichel, brady tkachuk/quinn hughes, auston matthews/freddie andersen, brock boeser/elias pettersson (aka like ½? of the bachelor au couples)
warnings: mostly kidfic, some references to sexual content, although nothing is explicitly expanded on, swearing
background context: connor and mitch have three kids together that we named cale (not makar), juno, and kai. all of this starts because of those woods photos of mitch:
also cale and cale is an instagram marketing thing that connor and mitch come up with where every year they take a photo of cale and cale makar together.
scheifsforlife: also i cannot think about connor and mitch in the woods together doing an instagram shoot help me
i’m too soft for them
pleasetazerme: it’s ok i’m soft too
i’m thinking abt them camping with their baby
scheifsforlife: camping with cale and cale babbling happily at them like daddy look at the TREES
pleasetazerme: cale; daddy i wan smores!!
scheifsforlife: i made you soft for them and i have never been so proud of anything in my life :))))
cale: papa, are we THERE yet?
pleasetazerme: connor lifting cale up onto his shoulders and cale squealing
this is too soft my heart can’t take it 🥺🥺🥺
connor coming up behind mitch while he’s holding cale and bopping him on the nose like “hi baby”
pleasetazerme: mitch giving connor an eskimo kiss with cale yelling me too in the middle of them
scheifsforlife: cale wobbling on his two little legs because he’s still only learning how to walk
cale saying: DADDY uppie please
pleasetazerme: ok sorry i’m back i was reading tilly’s gc
scheifsforlife: nah it’s fine i read it this morning and it was pretty good
omg and cale screaming MORE
cale begging to help with the tent and then messing up the tent
pleasetazerme: i hate tent building so much gahhh but cale would have such a fun time trying to hammer the hooks in!
scheifsforlife: i have never been camping with a tent and lemme say, i will be writing a ficlet on this for you with no knowledge of tent building whatsoever
bb cale crawling into his papa’s sleeping bag because he’s COLD
pleasetazerme: cale accidentally stomps on someone’s hand and giggles loudly waking his parents up
scheifsforlife: ...can i type this up as a chatfic? i can’t with the softness we are producing rn and people need to SEE THIS
pleasetazerme: sjdjjdjd camping with a tent is a pain in the ass because normally it’s super damp when u roll the tent up in the morning and it’s 10x heavier DJJDJDJD
yes!! i feel ppl need baby cale in their lives
scheifsforlife: BB CALE IS ELITE
cale and cale needs to be a thing 😭😭😭 (baby cale and cale makar)
okay i’m just gonna start from the convo from tonight?
cale yelling unca cale on the carpet at asg
scheifsforlife: everyone’s most wanted interview is cale and cale together
imagine cale doing a video where he makes a kale smoothie and he’s like GROSS daddy why’d you name me after this
pleasetazerme: big cale pouting like u don’t like it baby cale? it’ll help u become a good dman like me
scheifsforlife: hmmm then i might have to drink it because i wanna be just like you unca cale
matty: that TRAITOR
pleasetazerme: matty is so annoyed that cale doesnt like him as much as he likes cale dbfksfd
matty be like i literally bought u your first stick and skates and this is how ui repay me?
scheifsforlife: cale: i like you TOO unca matty, but not as much as unca cale. you’re not a very good defenseman
matty: hmmphh *picks up juno* well we know who’s getting new skates from me this christmas
pleasetazerme: juno flying across the coz unca matty!! i wanna fly!
scheifsforlife: matty picking her up and tossing her on his shoulder into the superman pose and being like there you go baby
cale being JEALOUS OMG
pleasetazerme: mitch being absolutely fucking terrified for his child
scheifsforlife: mitch being like, HEY YOU MATTY I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T PUT HER DOWN
pleasetazerme: juno: but daddy im having fun!
scheifsforlife: mitch: baby, you can go again, just make sure you ask PAPA this time okay? tkachuk i’m watching you, you’re paying if you drop one of them
pleasetazerme: matty: i would NEVER drop them theyre my favourite children! (mattys just sad coz he doesnt have any of his own rn)
schiefsforlife: matty: LEON we need to get a little baby
so i can teach them to appreciate being a forward
also imagine baby cale playing with lenny and zeus
pleasetazerme: omg wait did you see gabes child with their dog
scheifsforlife: no not yet? CONTEXT PLEASE (a/n: no context ever provided)
pleasetazerme: matty pouting coz where else will i find children i love this much,, leon doesnt want them so i gave to use yours
scheifsforlife: leon: ...excuse me WHEN did i say i didn’t want them?
pleasetazerme: matty: likr a few months ago?? u literally said it in front of me??
scheifsforlife: leon: what? when: sweetheart, i never said that
matty: DON’T CALL ME SWEETHEART
leon: am i supposed to call you a RAT???
pleasetazerme: matty: FUCK U USAID U DIDNT WANT KIDS WHEN WE WERE TALKING TO BRADY LAST TIME
mitch: this is probably a very bad place to have a fight
scheifsforlife: the car ride home is V AWKWARD
matty is half crying and leon is teary too, like they’re about to burst at any moment
pleasetazerme: leon: baby, please i’ve always wanted kids i just thought we were in a place in our careers where we should maybe wait
scheifsforlife: matty; but that’s not what you SAID
pleasetazerme: leon: ITS WHAT I MEANT SWEETHEART
scheifsforlife: matty: WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT
you probably don’t even want babies with me anyways
pleasetazerme: leon: hey no sweetheart i always want babies with u, especially after seeing u with juno today
scheifsforlife: matty: BUT YOU DON’T WANT THEM RIGHT NOW
pleasetazerme: leon: matty, if u want them i want them
scheifsforlife: matty: NO YOU DON’T, you just want them because i’m making you
pleasetazerme: leon: if i knew u wanted them id have brought it up a lot earlier
scheifsforlife: matty is sobbing now and he just wants to get out of the car cause he thought they knew each other better than anyone but apparently not
tito in glasses
pleasetazerme: BRUH HE LOOKS LIKE A KID IN MY SCHOOL
scheifsforlife: NO REALLY
pleasetazerme: ok but he does look better than without glasses
also leon tugging matty back into the car to reassure him he wants kids
scheifsforlife: matty trying to pull away like, no i wanna go inside and sleep it off leon
pleasetazerme: leon: no baby we need to talk and dont u want kids? a few of them running arnd at home? coz i want to see u with our own kids
scheifsforlife: matty: fuck you! don’t talk about them like you ACTUALLY want them
also my doc stopped syncing so i lost all the chatfic stuff 😭😭😭
pleasetazerme: leon: baby,, please, i want babies with u so bad please?
scheifsforlife: i need to retype it all
matty: stop lying leon, i’m so tired
this is so sad the world is against our brains
leon: i am not lying matthew, i need u to know that i love u and i want to have children with u
scheifsforlife: i’ll try and do it later? but i have physics hw lol
pleasetazerme: if u dont believe that, fine, but ive told u and u know now
hsjdbfsd do ur hw!
scheifsforlife: i am i am
matty: you...you do? are you joking with me?
pleasetazerme: leon: ofc not why would i joke abt this baby
scheifsforlife: matty: ...cause you don’t actually want a baby?
pleasetazerme: leon: i definitely want a baby with u sweetheart
im trying to do a navigation page and good god i post so many hockeys wtf
scheifsforlife: this is why i tag stuff but do NOT have a navigation page
hmmm maybe i should have one
matty: are you sure? i might not even be a good dad
pleasetazerme: im not even through half the teams and it’s alr super long KDFBSKD
scheifsforlife: i also have a million tags for teeks whoops
IM FRICKIN CRYING DESKTOP CANT HANDLE THE LENGHT OF THIS IMAGE SO ITS SUPER SQUASHED LMAOOO
scheifsforlife: it started as travis konencny, then evolved into tk and them into teeks, and then into he’s a RAT but i love him and now mr. bass pro shop
pleasetazerme: MR BASS PRO SHOP
IK I CANT HES SO SQUISHED
scheifsforlife: he’s SO SQUISHED WTF proportions
pleasetazerme: DJJDJD TUMBLR PLEASE
scheifsforlife: and yes mr. bass pro shop bc i came up with it one day and it’s so hilariously correct
pleasetazerme: leon: ur going to be the best fucking dad ever don’t let anyone tell u otherwise
i tag with the players names too but my tag for mitch is mitchy marnie
scheifsforlife: lol we’re jumping so many places, typing this up is gonna be a TIME
i started with mitch marnsie for mitch but i gave up cause i was like, my content will not show up
and i wanted my mcmarner gifs to do well lol
rbs and likes five me serotonin
pleasetazerme: same, yesterday i posted josty goth and went to sleep happy coz i got rbs
so much serotonin
dkjsfbdksjf we just have too many ideas
scheifsforlife: too much brain power lol
matty: but my dad was terrible to me, how can i be a good dad if my role model is HIM?
pleasetazerme: leon: but ive seen the way i act with juno, baby ur going to be so good i cant wait
scheifsforlife: matty: if you say so...but you’ll help me right? you’re not gonna leave?
pleasetazerme: leon: of course not! im stayong as long as youll have me
scheifsforlife: matty: is it too much to ask for forever?
pleasetazerme: leon: nope, im staying forever, u cant get rid of me now
he starts leaving kisses all over mattys face prompting him to giggle loudly
scheifsforlife:🥺🥺🥺 soft soft soft
also wait, mitch and connor argue about which jersey the kids get put in
pleasetazerme: oh yes def but then cale days he wants a makar jersey
and juno says she wants a tkachuk jersey
scheifsforlife: kai is the only one that says daddy, i wanna leafs jersey
but it ends up being a MATTHEWS jersey and mitch is offended
pleasetazerme: mitch: none of my children love me, please no just wear my jersey
but then matthews kid says they want a marner jersey its the most hilarious thing ever, media is confused as fuck
scheifsforlife: media: ...so what’s your name?
matthews kid: patty (after marleau)
media: .. but i thought the third marner kid was kai?
matthews kid: i’m auston’s kid
media: but you’re wearing a marner jersey? what is going on?
pleasetazerme: patty: kai is wearing my daddys jersey and im weaing unca mitchs!
scheifsforlife: media: are you guys...uh friends?
patty: nah, kai is my biggest rival in hockey, i hate him
pleasetazerme: media: ??????
children r the most brutally honest
scheifsforlife: true that
also wait imagine the hanny/eichs and brady/quinn kids being MORTAL ENEMIES until they’re forced to play in the USNTDP together
pleasetazerme: oh hell yeah the absolutely fucking hate each other and are always put on rival teams but they get to the ntdp and the teams like hey yall r gonna be on the same line have fun
scheifsforlife: hanny/eichs kid (who is probably ACTUALLY named jack so eichs has to go by JOHN now): fuck you tkachuk, pass me the FUCKING puck
tkachuk/hughes kid (named jesse james): FUCK YOU HANIFIN, pass ME the fucking puck
pleasetazerme: they actually ply super well together tho it’s hilarious that they hate each other so much
scheifsforlife: it’s like 1988 but WORSE cause they are SO not friends off the ic
they won’t even LOOK at each other
pleasetazerme: they’re forced to room tgt on roadies it’s a disaster
scheifsforlife: meanwhile their parents are doing game nights with each other every wednesday
...maybe they start to fall in love though
pleasetazerme: oh yes definitely but they won’t admit it
it’s a little like mattdrai except ten times worse coz teenage angst
scheifsforlife: YES, and their parents are like, maybe you should start dating, you would be good together, and they are like NO NEVER
but at the same time ABSOLUTELY
pleasetazerme: they’re still like i hate him! when they’re drafted but by some freak accident or sumn they’re drafted to the same team like the sedins were
scheifsforlife: YES and they are like, do NOT but me on the same line as HIM but they secretly want to be played together
and they ARE
1988 probably see and are like, we should fix
or mattdrai lol
pleasetazerme: they’re again put in the same for the elc and somehow still do not solve their problems
it’s super chaotic and rlly bad
because the entire team KNOWS they love each othe
scheifsforlife: everyone wants to band their heads against a wall because of them
eventually though they figure it out when jj (jesse james) flirts with mattdrai’s kid at the asg and jack is just like, yeah NO and drags him off to have sex
pleasetazerme: mattdrais kid fucking knew which is why he flirted back
scheifsforlife: of course he did! the parents all pay him 20 bucks each for his services
also cat content for you!
pleasetazerme: A BABY!! i love ur cat so much i was actually thinking of asking u today our brains r actually one
he’s like wow i didn’t know being cupid could male me so rich
scheifsforlife: mattdrai: boy you are on your Eli and you think 200+ from the ‘rents makes you rich
*elc not Eli what autocorrect
thank you for the cat love 🥰🥰🥰
our brains are just too powerful
pleasetazerme: child: money is money. esp if i didn’t do anything except hoe arnd
scheifsforlife: matty is like: please don’t hoe yourself around
also i’m still thinking about mitch in those JEANS
pleasetazerme: child: i heard what u did as a rookie ur not fooling me dad
scheifsforlife: matty: i didn’t hoe around! i never slept with hanny and that’s the ultimate hoeing around move
taryn; you sleep with a guy ONE TIME
mitch, why did you buy those jeans?
just to make connor hot?
scheifsforlife: matty: u did but i didnt do it’s a win for me
he sticks his tongue out co he’s a child
i mean whag other reason would there be
scheifsforlife: Taryn just sticks her tongue back out at him because she too is a child
i cannot believe he bought RIPPED JEANS and he looks so good in thwm
pulls them off so well
and the fact that he bought them custom (probs because most hockeys buy custom jeans and pants)
pleasetazerme: petition for mitch to wear more ripped jeans (post more on instagram please)
ok but like mattdrais kid probably does hoe arnd at asg every yr even tho a shit ton on the people there r his uncles and will expose him to his parents
scheifsforlife: mtich, pulling mattdrai’s ear and dragging him away from another rookie, NOPE YOU ARE NOT DOING GHIS I DONT WANT YOUR PARENTS MAD AT ME
I WOULD SIGN THAT PETITION ANYDAY OF THE WEEK
those ripped jeans are his yellow sweater
pleasetazerme: oh yeah definitely i’d like to thank range rover for gifting this mitch to us
mattdrai: but 🥺🥺 where else at i fonna have this chance
scheifsforlife: mitch: ...you...FINE go have fun, just don’t tell your parents i saw you
land rover literally said, we’re irrelevant but here is mitch content to get you to like us
mattdrai manages to fuck one person on the first night and somehow tangle up in a threesome on the second night
scheifsforlife: when he gets home, his parents can see it ALL OVER HIS FACE and they’re like...how many?
pleasetazerme: leon is super done because son, we told u to have fun not fuck everyone in the world
scheifsforlife: mattdrai’s kid: but DAD did it his first year?
pleasetazerme: leon: dad found me the year after, donèt think we donèt know u did this last yr too
scheifsforlife: what if i found someone next year?
there ARE SO MANY OPTIONS
pleasetazerme: what if he finds someone that no one expects
like it’s not any of the bachelor guys kids (a/n: we refer to a v specific group of couples as the bachelor guys/couples)
he finds some obscure guy
and mattdrai are like…BUT THE PLAN WAS FOR YOU TO MARRY BROCK/PETEY’S KID
pleasetazerme: not necessarily obscure just like not their circle so everyone thinks it’s weird as fuck
scheifsforlife: lol maybe it’s some canadian and mattdrai are like YOUVE BETRAYED YOUR COUNTEY
pleasetazerme: mattdrai: literally half the ppl i spend time with on a daily basis r canadian. the two of u played on a canadian team…
scheifsforlife: matty: DISOWNED YOH NEVER GET TO DO THE TEAM USA CHANT AGAIN
mattdrai’s kid: HOW DARE YOU
pleasetazerme: leon: can we talk about how he didn’t even choose germany and ur the one disowning him
scheifsforlife: matty: GERMANY IS IRRELEVANT HE DISGRACED THE AMERICAN TITLTE
mattdrai: pops i’m playing for germany now!
pleasetazerme: leon: GERMANY IS IRRELEVANT?? if germany was irrelevant would u have a husband right now??
scheifsforlife: matty: GERMANY IS BAD AT HOCKEY!!! no country is as BOMB AT HOCKEY AS THE US OF A
mattdrai’s kid: well actually-
matty: SHUT YOUR TRAP KID
pleasetazerme: leon: wow really, who beat u in the olympics last year
scheifsforlife: matty: the olympics don’t exist
matty is is FULL ON DENIAL MODE
also maybe he sends the kid up to tk’s farm for a little bit because AT LEAST HE CAN’T FUCK A CANADIAN THERE
pleastazerme: he invites his bf and tks like ...what am i meant to do now
scheifsforlife: teeks panic calls matty like EXCUSE ME HE INVITED HIS BF AND HES A REDNECK ENOUGH THAT I WANT TO KEEP HIM TO HELP ON THE FARM HELP
pleasetazerme: SJDJDJD i kinda wanna know who this kids parents would be
maybe he’s a flyer LMAOO
scheifsforlife: LMAOO he’s the next iteration of the mr. bass pro shop
mr. bass pro shop III
after tk and tyson foerester
pleasetazerme: camo check, fish check, weird snapbacks check
scheifsforlife: WAIT OMG I ALMOST FORGOT
one of my classmates HAS a fish fear me bucket hat
he was wearing it in class the other day and he sits in front of me and i was SO TEMPTED to take a phot
teeks bestows on this myster boy his camp suit like, take matty’s son on a real date kid
*camo not camp
pleasetazerme: MATTY HATES IT SO MUCH
HES LIKE WHYD U DATE SKMEONE THAT IS LITERALLY TK
DJFJJD A BUCKETHAT VERS
scheifsforlife: mattdrai: i LIKE that’s he’s like uncle tk, tk is my favourite uncle
mitch: what am i chopped liver over here
pleasetazerme: matty despairing: how could you do our family like this please
scheifsforlife: matty trying to convince his kid’s boyfriend to stop being like tk: so...you’re gonna have to lose the camo if you want me to like you
pleasetazerme: leon: matty,, just let our son love who he wants, if he’s happy it’s fine right?
scheifsforlife: matty: i LOVE that he’s happy, but he’s practically dating TK!!! don’t you think that’s weird?
pleasetazerme: yeah but his happiness is the most important thing baby, as long as he’s not actually dating tk it’s alright
scheifsforlife: matty: *grumbles* still won’t stop me from TRYING to get that boy into a non-camo suit
pleasetazerme: leon: continue your fruitless pursuit then
mattdrai: i like the suits!
scheifsforlife: matty: it is NOT fruitless!
leon: you tried to convince tk not to wear camo suits and he wore one to his FUCKING WEDDING
matty to his kid: baby you need your eyes fixed
pleasetazerme: mattdrai: please let me love my boyfriend in peace dad!
also i love how we haven’t made up a name yet DJJDDJ
scheifsforlife: lol we didn’t have the time
hmmm...maybe he should be leon jr
and he goes by junior
pleasetazerme: i feel like leon would object JDDJSJ
scheifsforlife: leon would want something german though
pleasetazerme: yes def
niklas is p german
uhhh wait lemme think uuhhh luis and kasper as well
kasper and matty’s like we’re not naming our son after a ghost
they name their son after a ghost
leon’s like it’s not even the same spelling
scheifsforlife: matty: A GHOST
pleasetazerme: leon: IT STARTS WITH A K
If you wanna see another one of these chatfics, please let me or @pleasetazerme know! this was really fun for us, we literally chatfic all the time, but this is the first time we’ve typed it up! let us know what you think about it!
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ok wow yeah the book I bought is A LOT easier to read. I’m not getting into the mythology yet but the history of it is very fascinating.
in case anyone was curious: yes I am doing this research for AL but I’m also interested in my own family history. I’m at least 25% Irish (shout out to grandma bass, whom I sadly never met) and because my mom was adopted, we don’t really know that family’s side at all so its really nice to learn about it :>
as for AL, I plan on having monsters be more representative of the Celts (specifically through the use of the Tuatha Dé Danann mythology, which has a similar connection of returning to mountains) and the human group they face being non-specific Christians. its not a direct 1-1 parallels because frankly, whatever research i get from these books isn’t going to make me an expert and while i do have genealogy here, i don’t want to like, speak as an authority or anything. I know history is real and drawing onto real life history that real people lived and their descendants remember is always something to be wary about doing. (especially when framing a group as monsters. i don’t wanna pull a Bright allegory lol)
I’m going to do my best to be careful on how I portray things and choosing what is historically accurate and not with care. (like, they wouldn’t have books so readably available without a printing press, but it’s easier to deliver exposition through them and also They Have Magic so maybe their technology is a bit better than real life’s 1100s. Among other things I have to change to fit the story and gameplay)
anyway, this is all about a story of colonization and the erasure of culture. it’s dethroning the heroic-worship of Eurocentrism and their royalty and knights. cause they’re the true monsters of history and much of what was done still impacts today. (knights were in a sense medieval cops. all knights are bastards)
This isn’t my first attempt at researching this stuff but now I feel more determined to really get myself head deep into this again. lmao anyway just wish me luck I guess or tell me off I’m overstepping and fucking up history or something. I think its fine to write about this but it’s also such a serious topic with a broad and long history I am worried I’ll misuse a symbol or accidently mess up in some other way, it’s like,,, really weighing on my mind about this responsibility haha
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Hard Candy (~Misfits AU~)
Chapter 2: The Secret Banksy Code
Warning: Strong language, sexual content, blood and gore (a little), death, mention of alcohol and drug use.
(Hand Candy Masterlist)
The next day I was up way before my alarm went off, so I kept trying to figure out my powers to kill time, still no luck...
When I arrived at the community center, I spotted Nathan coming out, which was weird since it was still closed. He froze when he saw me watching as he jumped out of a window.
- Hey there - I smiled - wanna tell me what this is about?
- Would you believe me if I told you it was a burglary?
- No, not really...
- Well, I got drunk yesterday and didn't wanna go home and be lectured by my mum - he stretched, his shirt riding up, showing me his waist. I hate to admit how much that startled me.
- That is more believable.
Nathan gave me a grin, placing a cigarette between his lips, of course he used to be a smoker... We walked towards the others, everyone else was already waiting for Tony to arrive and analyzing the weird graffiti on the wall: "I'm going to kill you" in bold red letters.
- This is a joke, did one of you do this? - Curtis asked.
- Don't look at me, cuz I didn't do it - Kelly said.
- I'll tell you who did it - Nathan lit up his cigarette - it's that Banksy prick, there's a hidden meaning.
- And why would Banksy bring his pretentious arse to this Godforsaken town? - I chuckled.
- You don't know Banksy, you don't know what he's capable of - Nathan narrowed his eyes with a conspiratory tone - or maybe you do...
- Maybe someone wants to kill us - Simon looked a bit scared.
- Why would anybody want to kill us? - Kelly asked.
- Right, come on you lot, let's get changed - Tony arrived, looking much better than the day before.
- Have you seen this? - Curtis pointed at the wall - Someone's taking the piss...
- Yeah, it's terrible, isn't it? This anti-social behavior - Tony shook his head.
- Oh, is he havin’ a dig at us? - Nathan took a long drag.
Alisha's phone started ringing and Tony flipped the fuck out, I wasn't sure if that was due to the storm or just his general assholness. He took all of our phones for the day like we were a bunch of little children in school.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't allowed to do this, but I wasn't gonna argue with him, especially not after the storm, knowing what was about to come. I just prayed none of my students decided to call or text me about something important.
In the locker room, I stuffed my backpack in my locker and shed my clothes to slip into my uniform. I nearly jumped when I felt a tap on my shoulder, behind me Nathan only had half of his jumpsuit on, the top of it hanging behind him.
- I was only jokin’ yesterday about your nipples gettin’ hard when I'm around, but look at that... - He stared at my chest right before I finished zipping up.
- Someone thinks highly of themselves... - I teased.
- Look, it's not my fault your body reacts to me like that.
- Those are my piercings, you twat - I laughed, throwing my head back.
- Piercings... - Nathan's face shifted with glee - I'm not being funny, but I don't believe you, mind if I take a look?
- Ha - I slammed my locker shut, turning around - you'll need to work harder than this.
- You little tease... - He leaned over me - Alright, I'm willin’ to work for it.
Is he serious or Is he just winding me up? With Nathan you never know, that charmer... I grabbed a bucket and followed the others outside to take care of that graffiti.
- You know, after the storm did any of yous feel like dead weird? - Kelly stopped scrubbing and looked at me.
- Yeah, I had a strange tinglin’ sensation in my anus - Nathan said.
- Was there a cock inside of it? - I snickered.
Nathan simply stuck his tongue out at me and went back to scrubbing.
- What? Did you feel weird? - Kelly turned to Simon.
- You don't wanna hear about my anus? - Nathan sounded almost offended.
- Do you really need to ask the question? - Curtis huffed.
- Something happened - Simon finally mumbled.
- What's that? Squeak up... - Nathan encouraged.
- Something happened to me - Simon continued.
- Are you a virgin? High fi...
- Shut up! - Kelly shouted and he retreated - What was it?
- It's nothing - Simon looked like a deer in the headlights.
I felt bad for Kel, she was probably struggling with her new power, it must be horrible to be forced to hear that shit all day... I was brought back to reality when Kelly shoved Nathan out of the blue.
He stumbled over the bucket behind him, splashing water everywhere, and nearly fell on his ass, but luckily I held him in time.
- What was that for? - He whined.
- What were you thinking about? - I asked, knowing there was probably something stupid going through his brain.
- What does that mean?
- Nothing - I shook my head - are you ok?
- No, I feel weak! - He threw himself even more in my arms - There's only one thing that can make me feel better right now...
- And what's that? - I giggled.
- Seein’ a pair of pierced nipples, d’you know any girls who might have them?
- Oh, piss off... - I pushed him slightly.
After we were done cleaning, none of us was able to find Tony (or Kelly, who stormed off right after pushing Nathan) to ask what we were supposed to do next, so we just went inside and wandered around for a bit.
I nearly lost it when I found a room filled with musical instruments. Given they were pretty beaten up, there was some seriously cool stuff in there. I went straight for the beautiful guitar hanging on the wall, it was completely out of tune, but I could fix that in a second.
When I came out to find the others and show them, I was surprised by a very interesting conversation the boys were having next to the table football:
- Whatever, couple o’Bacardi Breezers, man, I reckon she'll be good to go - Nathan said - sounds like the girl for you, weird kid.
- So you get Lydia then - Curtis laughed.
- Exactly, I’ve been wantin’ to find out how many licks does it take t’get to the center of that Lollipop... - Nathan waggled his brows with a grunt.
- Alright, do the girls have a say in this?
- A group of young people doin’ mindless shit all day... Face it, man, it's gonna happen, it always does! It's biology or physics, one o’those. So do we have a deal, gentlemen?
- I can't believe my ears - I shook my head with a smirk.
All three boys turned around, Simon and Curtis seemed mortified, Nathan just smiled and bit his lip.
- I-I-I wasn't gonna take the deal - Curtis stuttered.
- Me neither - Simon agreed.
- You're not even gonna pretend to be embarrassed? - I looked at Nathan.
- Why would I be? - He shrugged - Just tryin’ to make a nice arrangement for everyone. Are you not happy with the pairing?
- Smug bastard...
- That wasn't a no - His grin widened.
- Well, what I came here to ask in the first place is if any of you play any instruments, I just found this room full of them over there.
- I play the spoons - Nathan raised his hand.
- The spoons? - Curtis looked at him confused - Like the ones we eat with?
- Yes, I've learned it in school - he said.
- How the fuck do you play a spoon?
- Find me a couple and I'll show you.
- I was expecting something more on the realm of piano, drums, bass... - I said - But I guess it works.
I sat down on a couch where Alisha was and slowly started tuning the guitar. Nathan was beating the vending machine like it owed him money, trying to get a Coke. Once he succeeded, he sat down on a wheelchair that was laying around. Curtis and Simon were bringing back the buckets and cleaning supplies.
Alisha and Nathan took it upon themselves to give Curtis grief for being caught with the drugs, I don't know why they decided to pick on him out of all the people, but Curtis wasn't happy about it. Lisha then decided to tell the story of the night she was arrested.
I didn't hear much of it, since I was too focused on the guitar and getting it to sound perfect. I nearly popped one of the strings when Kelly came through the door, falling on her face.
- He's gonna kill us! - Kelly screamed.
- Nice entrance, very dramatic! - Nathan clapped.
- The probation worker’s gone mental, he just attacked me! Something really weird is happenin’! I'm hearin’ these voices, it's like I can hear what people are thinkin’.
- Have you been sniffing glue? - Alisha mocked.
- The storm, the lightning! I don't know, it's done somethin’ to us! - Kelly was very nervous.
- Ok, if you can hear our thoughts, what am I thinkin’ now? - Nathan squinted with disbelief.
- You think it's bullshit - Kelly said.
- Of course I think it's bullshit, you don't need to be a mind reader to know that!
- Why are you in a wheelchair?
- It was the storm - Nathan cried - the weird tinglin’ sensation in my anus has spread through my body and now I can't feel my legs.
- I'm serious! - Kelly kicked him in the shin.
- Guys, I think she's telling the truth - I put the guitar to the side and got up.
- What do you even mean the probation worker attacked you? - Curtis asked.
- He's out there and chased me! - Kelly shouted.
- Something happened to me too - Simon admitted.
- Did you pop your cherry? - Nathan took another sip of his drink - Ah, we're all very happy for you!
- Earlier on when we were in the locker room - Simon ignored Nathan, which is always a good strategy if you ask me - I turned invisible.
- So, she's psychic and you can turn invisible? - Curtis snickered - That seems likely...
- Did anyone witness this miraculous disappearance? - Nathan asked sarcastically.
- You were all there - Simon said.
- I think we would've noticed you vanishing into thin air - Alisha rolled her eyes.
- You didn't - Simon looked around - I was standing right there, you couldn't see me.
- Alright - Nathan wheeled closer to Simon - go on then, do it... Turn invisible.
Simon concentrated for a few seconds, trying to make it happen, I tried very hard to keep a straight face, poor Si...
- Oh my God! He's disappeared! - Nathan gasped.
- Can't you see me? - Simon believed it...
- No - Nathan threw his empty can at him - you're invisible! You two are hilarious, keep takin’ that medication.
- Guys, I think we should listen - I urged them - really, this seems serious.
- I can't believe you're buyin’ this load o’crap - Nathan turned to me as he wheeled towards the door - you seemed smarter than this, Lyds.
- I feel it, Nathan, I know something’s wrong!
- Don't go out there, he will kill ya! - Kelly held him by the shoulders.
- Of course he will, cause he's such a bad...
- Don't! - Kelly screamed.
- She's telling the truth - Curtis suddenly interrupted.
- And you know this how? - Nathan asked - I suppose you're a psychic too?
- All this... - Curtis was panting - It's already happened once. I opened the door, the probation worker killed you. You were right there, you were dead and everything froze, then time went backwards.
- You're saying you turned back time? - Alisha sighed.
- This just gets better by the second - Nathan got up.
- Everything happened again, exactly the same! - Curtis warned - I'm telling you, don't open that door.
Nathan didn't listen, he opened the door only to close it again a second later and lock it, his face was taken by fear.
- He's right - he gasped - the probation worker's gone mental.
We started hearing banging on the door and Nathan screamed, running away from it. The silhouette of that monster on the glass made my stomach drop. We all stood together in the middle of the room, too scared to stand alone.
- Maybe he's on crystal meth, that stuff makes you crazy - Alisha said - my friend did it once and she almost shagged her brother and he's really ugly...
- Oh, so that's the issue with that situation... - I scoffed - He's clearly possessed by something.
- The graffiti - Simon looked at me - he wrote it!
- I said there was a hidden meaning - Nathan moaned - or not...
- Did something happen to the two of you? - Kelly turned to me and Alisha.
- Not yet - I said.
- No - Alisha shook her head - we should call the police.
- He has our phones - Simon said.
- He stopped - Curtis pointed out, it was the calm before the storm (no pun intended).
- Why the fuck did you come here? You should've gone for help - Alisha yelled.
- What do you know, bitch? - Kelly yelled back.
- Shut up, you chav...
- If you call me a chav one more time, I'll kick you so hard in the cunt your mum will feel it!
- Her mum will feel it? How does that work? - Nathan asked.
- Shit, don't make me laugh now! - I pushed his shoulder, covering my mouth.
- He tried t’kill me - Kelly turned to us - I came here to warn yous lot, I could've left ya. I'm sick of you all judgin’ me, you can fuck off!
- Kelly - I tilted my head - come on, it's not like that.
- Whatever, I'm getting out of here - Alisha headed the other way.
- Yeah, out the back, c’mon! - Nathan held my hand, pulling me with him.
What happened next all fit in one second: Nathan slipped on something wet on the floor and was about to fall and pull me with him. I closed my eyes waiting for the shock, but there was none.
- Shit! - Nathan's voice made me open my eyes.
We were both floating slightly above the floor, inside of a thin blue-ish glowing bubble. My mouth fell open with excitement.
- Am I doing this? - I asked.
- I think so - Nathan gaped.
- You can make force fields... - Simon was amazed.
I took a deep breath and suddenly the bubble was gone and we landed softly on the blood-covered floor.
- Is this blood? - I looked at our red-covered hands.
- Oh Fuck! - Nathan got up - Jesus Christ! Get it off of me!
He started frenetically wiping his hands on his overalls while gagging, I simply wrinkled my nose from the smell of iron.
- It's from the locker - I pointed.
We all stared at it for a while until Curtis walked up to open the door. By the looks of it, I knew who was inside...
- Oh shit, it's the other kid - I winced.
- I did wonder what happened to him - Nathan hid behind me, very heroic I might add.
- He's gonna kill us - Alisha cried.
- Turn back time, stop this happenin’ - Nathan suggested as if that was the greatest idea ever.
- I don't know how it works! - Curtis replied.
- Oh great! Very useful!
- Stop it, Nathan! - I scolded - You're just making it worse.
- Don't look at him - Curtis said right before trying to hold Alisha's hand and losing it completely - I gotta have sex with you right now! You're so beautiful...
- Shit! - I pulled Curtis away - Let go of her!
- What? - He looked at me and then at Alisha - What did I do?
- When you touch her, you go crazy and start saying creepy shit - I explained, hoping it would stop that from happening again - I think she can make people wanna shag her.
- You were gettin’ your chap out - Nathan chuckled.
- Shut up... - Curtis turned around.
Alisha looked down at her own hands and slowly reached to touch me and Simon at the same time. When I felt her warm skin around my neck it was like a blast of electricity going through my body, I couldn't see or hear anything, it was like I had no control over my actions.
- What is happening to me?
I heard Alisha scream when she let go and I started to recover my senses.
- You sick bastard... - Nathan looked at Simon and then at me - And you! You're way freakier than I thought.
- What did I say? - I was turning red from embarrassment.
- I don't even think I have the nerve to repeat it - Nathan smiled in admiration.
Next thing I know something bursts through the door, it was Tony, he had a big metal pipe and a terrifying look on his face. Kelly grabbed a can of paint and used it to hit him in the head.
- Thanks - Nathan smiled at me and I noticed there was another glowing bubble surrounding the both of us and Simon, who was standing next to me.
- Oh - I shook my head and the bubble disappeared.
Tony was on the floor with the back of his head open, we stared at him for a few seconds.
- What did you do? - Nathan looked at Kelly.
- Is he dead? - Alisha asked.
- I'm no doctor, but... - Nathan whimpered - Y’see the way the back of his head is caved in like that?
Seems like he wasn't dead after all, because Tony tried to grab Kelly's leg, we all screamed as we watched her smashing his head with her free foot, the noises made me almost gag.
- That should do it - Nathan was holding onto his hair.
- You killed our probation worker - Alisha was agape.
- This is very, very bad... - Nathan's voice was breaking.
- No shit, Sherlock! - I probably sounded harsher than I intended.
- He would've killed us - Kelly tried to justify.
- We should call the police, it was self-defense - Curtis said.
- Yeah, we show them the dead boy in the locker, they do some CSI shit and figure it out - Alisha agreed.
- That's not gonna work - I shook my head - they won't believe us.
- We just tell them the truth! Stick to our story - Curtis pleaded.
- What's that story? He can turn invisible, she can make force fields and you rewind time? - Kelly yelled - Doesn't matter what we tell them, they'll say we're lying. They're gonna say we killed them both! No one's gonna believe you, not anymore!
- If there's no body, there's no crime - Simon mumbled - we should bury them under the flyover.
- How do we do that? Someone's gonna see us - Alisha asked.
- No! We put them in those wheelchairs, we wheel them up there - Nathan said enthusiastically - and if anyone sees us, we're just a bunch of young offenders takin’ a couple o’specials for a walk in the sunshine...
And that's exactly what we did, it was harder than I thought it would be, especially carrying the dead bodies to the chairs and cleaning the mess, but nobody seemed to care when they saw us, it was the perfect cover.
Digging the hole was another pain in the ass, but I guess it was a good work out for all of us. When we were finally done, we dumped them both in the hole and started shoveling the dirt back in.
- I'm pretty sure this breaches the terms o’my ASBO - Nathan looked at the scene with one hand on his hip.
- We don't tell anyone about this, yeah? - Kelly said - About the storm, the powers, or anythin’.
- We're buryin’ out probation worker, we don't need to be drawin’ any attention to ourselves - Nathan agreed.
- I don't want anyone to know, I cannot be a freak - Alisha seemed to have her priorities sorted...
- What about you? - Kelly pointed at Curtis, who just stared at her with doubt.
- There's no goin’ back now, man - Nathan said - you're just as screwed as the rest of us, you're black and famous, you're probably more screwed!
- I shouldn't even be here... - Curtis replied angrily.
- Hey, can we talk about how you said you wanted to piss on her tits? - Nathan looked at Simon - probably best to keep that kind o’thing between you and your internet service provider.
- What did I say, Nathan? - I was scared of the answer.
- You said you wanted her to tie you up and drip hot wax all over ya - he raised his eyebrows.
- Ah, that's not bad - I felt relieved.
- Not bad? Jesus, you really are a sexual deviant! - Nathan cackled.
- Can you stop? - Kelly looked at Nathan - Stop thinkin’ of that, that's gross.
- Sorry, mate, Lydia just fueled my imagination quite a bit - he looked me up and down.
- Well, knock it off! - Kelly grunted.
- Hold on, all of you have some kind o’special power. Everyone can do somethin’ except me... Weird kid can do somethin’! He can do somethin’ and I can't! - Nathan ranted - That's ridiculous, look at him! Really, how does that make any sense?
- Maybe you can do something, you just haven't found out what it is yet - Simon said.
- Yeah... Right - he smiled - what if I can't feel pain?
Kelly slapped him and I laughed, he did deserve that one.
- Did you feel that? - She asked.
- Stop hittin’ me! - He hissed.
- Trust me, I think your power will be awesome - I huffed a laugh.
Out of all of them, Nathan's was my favorite power. Reality-warping was quite fascinating, back in the future he used to create a whole starry sky for me to spot constellations, and sometimes when I was upset he would make fireworks with his fingertips. Marnie once mentioned he had another power as well, but I think it was a load of bollocks, cause I've never seen it.
That night I wasn't able to sleep, I guess I didn't take into consideration how disturbing this whole scenario was before inserting myself into it. I didn't regret it, but I wish I was more prepared.
In the morning I dragged myself to the community center, and changed into my uniform, my eyes nearly closing, when I felt a pair of freakishly long arms wrapping around my waist.
- Hey, Lollipop - Nathan rested his chin on my shoulder - someone's tired.
- And what gave that away? - I yawned.
- I spent all night thinkin’ about what you thought you said to Alisha that made you so scared...
- And did you come to any conclusions?
- A few, but I'd rather you just show me.
- Maybe one day...
- How about right now? I bet I can shag the sleepy out o’you.
- Stop screwing around, the new probation worker is here - I chuckled.
- So you're sayin’ that's the only thing stoppin’ us from shaggin’ right now?
- Shut up...
The new probation worker, Sally, looked like a Tim Burton character, she didn't seem threatening at all and that's what freaked me out, I think I've heard enough of their stories to know when something looked harmless, it was anything but.
- Gary and my colleague Tony have both been reported missing, the families are very worried about them - she said - have you seen anything unusual? Anything at all?
Nathan discreetly raised his hand and I looked at him worried, what the fuck was he thinking?
- A few days ago, I go into the toilets - Nathan was dead serious - Tony and Gary were in there, they're butt naked, Tony has Gary by his hair, and he's just doin’ him... Doggy style.
What followed was a very disturbing reenactment of the events, we all stared at Nathan as he carried that uncomfortably long demonstration. I have no clue how no one laughed, that was probably the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life, but again... I was also very sleep-deprived, so that might be part of it.
- So I'm guessin’ they ran away to continue their illicit homosexual affair - Nathan continued - and I ask you, in this world of intolerance and prejudice, who are we to condemn them?
Sally simply shook her head and left the room, the silence was only broken when I started cackling uncontrollably. I had no idea what the fuck was that, but it was just brilliant. Nathan had the biggest smile on his face, like a little boy opening Christmas gifts.
- Well, I think we got away with it - Nathan said.
- Do you actually believe that or are you just really dumb? - Curtis rolled his eyes.
- I actually believe that! I've been thinkin’, though... I was there too, I should have one o’these bullshit powers.
- You can have mine - Kelly said - wanna hear what people are thinkin’ about you?
- Not so much, I want somethin’ from the A-List - Nathan lit up a cigarette and took a long drag - like Lyds, her power is badass.
- So what happens now? Are we gonna be like this forever? - Curtis asked.
- What if we're meant to be like... Superheroes - Simon suggested.
- You lot, superheroes? No offense, but in what kind of fucked up world would that be allowed to happen? - Nathan mocked - Superheroes, I love this guy, you prick!
- Hey, quit being an arse - I snapped my fingers in front of him.
- What if there's loads of people like us all over town? - Kelly wondered.
- No - Nathan dismissed - that kind o’thing only happens in America. This will fade away...
Oh, Nathan... How I wish you were right.
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