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#ok to rb lol i just rly wanted this down
meruz · 1 year
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hi tumblr my name is meruz im a bg artist who works in animation. i do comic projects and fanart in my free time. my art tag is #meruzart
portfolio / digital store / print store / misc. links (linktr.ee)
📝 FAQ below!
Can I use your art as ______?
8Tracks and Spotify Playlists: Go ahead! please credit me either meruz.tumblr.com twitter@automeruz or ig@automeruz -  AND SEND ME THE PLAYLIST this is not a requirement really but I would love to listen to it.
Social Media Layouts/Icons/Headers: Good by me! but again PLEASE credit me somewhere VISIBLE on the layout. If it’s a twitter or insta header/icon credit my twitter/insta @automeruz and if its tumblr credit my tumblr @meruz​
Phone BGs, Desktop Wallpapers: definitely ok!! Any personal and non-commercial use of this nature, I’m cool with. If you ask me, I may even send you a hi-res version of the file but you have to promise to not scam me and sell it lol…
Instagram Reposts: A lot of artists would say no but I’m gonna say go ahead as long as you credit and tag me in the post, again my ig is @automeruz - if you don’t, and I find it, I will bug you about it in the comments and possibly even report you. Nothing personal, its just standard procedure.
Twitter/Tumblr Re-posts: Don’t?? Just RT or RB it from me?? whats wrong with you? I will report this.
Other site re-posts: I’ll probably say yes but again please credit and for this one PLEASE ask me first. It’s nothing personal really, I just want to know where my work shows up.
Video edits/fancams/comic dubs: Yes! Absolutely go ahead! Credit would be much appreciated but moreover please send me a link I especially love to see this stuff!!
I also reserve all rights to have you take it down if I do not agree with the usage or context, especially association with politics on the webpage/app/etc. 
What do you use to draw?
I have a surface pro 8 at home and I use a 22in cintiq at work. Occasionally… I do personal art at work LOL. I use Photoshop CC almost exclusively except the occasional phone drawing which I’ll do on HeavyPaint or Autodesk Sketchbook (but mostly Heavypaint). What brushes do you use? For painting I use the same horrible brushes I downloaded from deviantart like 14 years ago and I cobbled them together for download here. And for lines ive been using shiyoon kim’s brushes which you can grab here. 
What do you use for plein air paintings? If it’s digital, almost exclusively Heavypaint. Traditional, I use gouache. A mix of Holbein acryla and normal gouache either windsor newton or m. graham.
What kind of sketchbook do you use? I use moleskine cahier XXL sketchbooks! I’ve been using moleskine cahiers for probably over 10 yrs now? they come in packs of 3 for like 30USD (the price went up recently booo but $10 per book is still not bad) for the largest size. I think a lot of people associate moleskine with intimidatingly fancy covers & paper but the cahiers are rly lightweight and flexible. you can bend the xxl into a roll like a newspaper and the covers are a light cardboard so you can draw all over them. I always have trouble with spiral sketchbooks getting fucked up in my backpack because I really throw my stuff around a lot but the binding on the cahiers can take a beating and have never fallen apart on me.
Do you take commissions?
Yes, occasionally. But it changes depending on my workload - please e-mail me at [email protected] for any inquiries!
Do you have a store?
I have a itch.io here for mostly digital goods.
and I have an INPRNT store here which is print on demand so if there’s anything you’d like to see on there that isn’t just ask and I can generally put it up!
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dragscore · 2 years
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almost ten years. he doesnt deserve the place he still holds in my head.
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vanityloves · 3 years
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this isnt funny anymore.
#anyways. medic.#well you see 🏃‍♂️#like i always paint my s/is as more brooding and serious in my canon bc i cant be taken seriously irl but i honestly wanna make them Like M#but im so sick of irl it aint even funny. sorry if this sounds like a vent lol i dont really care? i know im funny or whatever#mediccore#ivycore#whyd they post this on vday. what happened then#anyways#ok to rb#brainworm ivy#i think im becoming more of a hashtag relatable blog instead of a self ship one but i dont rly care yet#me 🤝 medic#being Like This#i cant see him being incredibly down though. major depression? hes got it but the way he deals with it is def dif that what im used to?#or maybe we're literally the same in that aspect#i wanted to make ivory more sporadic? with their emotions. bc moodswings w/ coping but idk how to pull that off in a balanced way#bc chef is serious looking but they genuinely just. spacey and sad and dumb as shit.#but theyre highkey tough love and supportive. being... a support??? class? still haven't figured that one out lol#ivory said i hate my ex husband im gonna *oohgha ooGhaa* fucking chimps out#ivory literally has a chilled out clown son so havin a fuckin whacked out parent is so funny to me#ivory is like yes im so cool and not suspicious as ALL. just fucking kidding . what the fuck what the FUCK what.#slick just standing there: holy shit shut up i#idk man its more like ivory wants to be someone theyre not and is in a state of panic/paranoia.#literally jumpy as shit and idk probably mean / lashes out bc yea.
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yibuo · 4 years
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UMMM I would love to know what exactly happened with xnine too if you know??
i didn’t know how to answer this without hating on long danni but... that’s not possible when you’re talking about xnine
CORRECT ME IF I’M WRONG IN ANY WAY @ DIMPLES AND CFANS
tldr ceo addicted to producing survival shows realizes boy group is incapable of feeding her fat rabbit because of her OWN mismanagement and throws them away (literally? probably not, maybe, idk)
HOLY SHIT THIS BECAME RLY LONG IM BEGGING KEEP READING TO WORK LO LOL LOL
long danni= wjjw company ceo
wjjw=company that xnine, xz, r1se, etc are under
huo mala: fat company rabbit that WILL give u nightmares goodness gracious thinking about him sends chills down my spine
alright so long danni (ldn i will refer to her) & ee media along w/ tencent and sm made the survival show x-fire... the premise of xfire was that 16 contestants split into two different teams (white and red) and then at the end it would boil down to each team having 4 members and the winning team would debut as a group called xfire...but wait...the group’s name is xnine? so out of red team (peng chuyue, baishu, xiao zhan, xia zhiguang) and white team(wu jiacheng, gu jiacheng, zhao lei, and guo zifan) white team won...and they unofficially debuted as xfire..went abroad to train yadda yadda yadda and then a few months later, TELL ME WHY LONG DANNI DECIDES TO RELEASE POLLS TO LET FANS VOTE IN 5 MEMBERS INTO XFIRE TO CREATE XNINE! ldn PLEASE if u wanted to rig the show you should’ve decided in the beginning what was the point of making the teams and the fans fight against each other...
so yeah xz and crew weren’t actually supposed to debut according to show rules...i mean i’m glad they debuted obviously bc x9 is x9 but ee media and frickin ldn couldve handled this better...like every member except chen molerat is amazing and great but....WHY DIDNT MaNAGEMENT NOT BLATANTLY RIG THEM INTO THE GROUP
but also thank u ldn for also letting us get to know the 4 guys who were added n not chen molerat <3 but like DO UR JOB PROPERLY
anyway the polls were RIGGED obviously thanks ldn what did u expect out of making POLLS, and xiao zhan, peng chuyue, xia zhiguang, yan xujia, and chen z*** were added to the group to create xnine...talk about rigged when chen z*** the molerat lookin turdface misogynist was added... anyway at the time he wasnt known to be problematic but ya the whole rigging thing caused a whole rift esp when x9 debuted bc there were fanwars and death threats initially but xfire did well because it was one of the (if not only) survival shows at that time and x9 debuted w/ a good response etc
then they got moved to wjjw (still owned by ldn thanks ldn) and wjjw is known for hoarding artists and not promoting them (THEY HAVE LIKE 45 ARTISTS BUT WERE FORMED 3 YEARS AGO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE) and not being promoted properly was EXACTLY what happened to xnine. as idols what they needed was music promotions, variety shows, etc stuff to get them as people out there but this genius ldn decided to promote them through stupid zodiac dramas like super star academy (to promote xfire finalists) and oh my emperor (which was an xnine drama). now i haven’t watched OME, but SSA gave me enough brain rot and gunk for me to not watch OME. (the only person who could act was baishu), and the story was SO BAD. nevermind the acting, because the boys weren’t initially slated to be actors, but the story was horrible, girl without superpowers suddenly becomes white cult goddess at the end??? WHAT???????? why didn’t ldn just promote them normally !!!!!! are they an actor group or an idol group???? I LOVE XNINE, THEY ARE TALENTED ARTISTS !!!! and eventually some went into acting (xz, guo zifan, gu jiacheng) BUT WAS THAT THE TIME DLFNJNF and then they just kept getting sent into random dramas and movies as random side characters instead of being able to make music and promote????? i’m sorry i’ve been stuck on using dramas to promote x9 for a while because that’s such a SILLY IDEA *vigorously shakes head* 
ldn knows how to do survival shows but she doesn’t know how to promote her artists thanks ldn. xnine has so much talented, we know xiao zhan is a great singer, but other main vocalists like wu jiacheng, zhao lei, and peng chuyue are amazing as welll, here’s me plugging this video of zl and pcy performing their self-written song on produce camp because it’s the most beautiful thing ever
-oh yeah somewhere in here insert chen molerat getting outed as a pedo misogynist cheater by his gf who still has the audacity to have xnine in his weibo name because xnine starting to get popular gtfo rat lookin ass i WILL barf, when we say ot8 xnine we mean xnine w/o chen toadratass but sometimes ppl think it’s xnine minus xz which is untrue-
they also have talented rappers (gu jiacheng yan xujia) and dancers (xia zhiguang guo zifan) like xia zhiguang can end me with his spinning flying kick thing and i WILL let him 
so YEAH !! TALENT that went to waste because wjjw gave them weird random hiatuses and kept pushing them as actors??? seriously what is with this actor stuff...so that’s why they debuted in 2016 and have very little discography to their name because wjjw just gave up...trying to promote them GOD thank u so much ldn for ur incomptency <3333 xnine had members in diff stages of life (ranging from xz who was born in 91, to yan xujia born in 2001, they were all close tho soo cute) and wjjw really was like nope we’re not gonna try to promote yall’s dreams of becoming singers on the stage because they couldn’t add 34783473 pounds to fat huo mala’s weight
so ya a lot of people are like omg wjjw hates xiao zhan!!! ya no they hate all of xnine but now xz is bringing enough money to make huo mala even fatter so good for huo mala i guess /s
also rumors and any bad media? lol wjjw doesn’t care they do a shit job at handling bad things too WHAT A WELLROUNDED COMPANY
OH ALSO TALK ABOUT HOW THYE HAD 3 DAYS TO PREPARE FOR A CONCERT???????????? WHAT????????? wjjw u mfs
anyway to summarize my rants above wjjw did  a SHIT job of promoting xnine as idols when the boys worked so hard and wjjw kept tryna push them to acting bye (some of them can’t act and literally don’t WANT TO ACT HHHSFLNF), wjjw is also horrible at letting all of the xnine members shine when as i mentioned before, they’re ALL TALENTED!!!! and then they just gave up on xnine somewhere in 2017-2018... ok anyway so is xnine disbanded? no although some may say their last concert in dec 2018 was their last concert ever they’re not disbanded
xiao zhan , gu jiacheng, and guo zifan went into acting
wu jiachang is focusing on his music etc (he was actually the first member of xnine i came across when i watched the collaboration/cyzj in 2018...yes carats this is That wu jiacheng!!!) MAN CAN SING
peng chuyue, zhao lei, xia zhiguang, yan xujia all went on produce camp 2019 (aNOTHER SURVIVAL SHOW BC THEY WANTED TO BE ON THE MF STAGE BC THATS WHY THEYRE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE WJJW) along w/ fellow labelmates zhou zhennan and zhai xiao wen ... and everyone but peng chuyue made it to the final 11 spots and got to debut in the group r1se...UNFORTUNATELY ALSO UNDER WJJW HELP SEND HELP
if they’re in r1se does that mean they quit xnine? no! they’re in both that’s just how survival shows work it’s kind of weird
peng chuyue recently released a song and it’s really good and you can’t not tell me that it’s gay here it is
anyway xnine hasn’t disbanded!! the X玖少年团 (xnine) in the non-r1se members’ weibo names say that loud n clear!!! and when the r1se members from xnine won produce camp 2019, they all made xnine signs SO XNINE IS ALIVE and they do keep in contact!!
why haven’t we seen blatant public interactions btwen xiao zhan and the xnine members? because some frickin annoying xz solo stans/xfx claim that the other members use xz for popularity (HELLO??????? IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE HALF OF THEM R LITERALLY HIS KIDS BUT OK) 
anyway in conclusion wjjw doesn’t know how to promote any of their artists, thus screwing over xnine members and making them go on a group hiatus where they focus on acting/singing/r1se for r1se members but they are very much xnine as of now !!!
here’s some REALLY GOOD RESOURCES to follow xnine bc as an ifan it’s mf hard
-xnine slideshow
-xnine faq
-xnine eng sub channel by yuer
-all of that content i listed above was made/subbed by one person and she is the queen of uhh...xnine international fandom outreach (????) how do i word it but she’s been subbing and spreading xnine long before xiao zhan’s popularity skyrocketed so go follow her for updates and memes here
-xnine intl fanbase twt and tumblr
-and here’s this twt account with dumb pics of xnine because why not
also i’m pretty sure there’s a wip video explaining x9′s history being created (by yuer because queen) so when that’s posted i’ll rb this and post it here
also here’s this video dragging wjjw
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painfog · 4 years
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Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)
ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut
firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️
I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery
for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go
you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while
i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about
that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep
the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it
on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now
get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while
go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week
the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff
when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)
more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)
the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs
i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night
all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah
some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option
ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!
finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕
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So I've been thinking lots abt making a softer sideblog recently but today I realized I wanna do a lot more than that.
[This post is long and rambly af lol sry.]
I wanna make a whole new acct for this blog and have it be like my nsfw one where I only post n rb my own content. But instead of being horny posting it'll be blabby posts n cuter/cleaner pics. Then I wanna make a sideblog to get back to a softer, brighter aesthetic, cuz looking back on that stuff is my fave way to calm down when I'm stressed.
Then I wanna make a sideblog on my nsfw acct so I can follow n rb sex workers n horny stuff from other ppl. (I might do an aes theme for that one but I'm not sure yet.)
It seems like it'd be lotsa work but I've been good abt not pressuring myself to post on my nsfw blog when I'm not in the mood, so I think I'd be ok if I just stay patient w myself.
I don't want this blog to be here anymore but I'm proud of several posts so I'll be reposting them there, along w my art n little pages. It'll be work but I want so much for a clean start since I only made this blog in the first place to get away from SW Twitter stress lol. it's changed a lot in good and bad ways for the past couple years, but it holds connections to some rly tough times and I hate that.
I'll have the same url and just add "-moved" to this one. I'll let y'all know when I'm ready to receive followers so I can get my Smoochuals back. Some of you may only get followed back by my nsfw acct but that only means I don't want more nsfw stuff and darker aes themes to fill up what I want to be a bright and cleaner dash for my softer side.
Idk when I'll be doing this but I want it to be soon. Maybe next week after mine n Daddy's anniversary. (Y'all know I'll be updating you every step of the way so ya lol.) I'm rly hoping compartmentalizing stuff this way will help me not get overwhelmed by one head space or another like I have been lately.
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mathaino · 7 years
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ive been planning to do this for a super long time and now ive finally got my stuff together yay!! i think chrome is one of the best browsers out there just because of all the extensions u can download. just don’t go overboard bc downloading too many will slow down ur browser (advice i need to follow myself lmao). if u have questions about any of these just shoot me a message!
i will continue to update this as i discover more things. 
italics - my current faves
1. ESSENTIALS
adblock plus: u don’t necessarily have to use this version bc there are multiple options out there, this is just the one i happened to find 1st lol 
linkclump: allows you to open multiple links in 1 click
onetab: groups ur tabs, very useful for things like researching and when you have like 50 dif tabs open at the same time. 
xkit: allows u to do so much more in tumblr, from blacklisting to rb posts without leaving ur dashboard. truly life changing.
f.lux: technically not exclusive to chrome but i wanted to throw it in here anyway. it’s basically like nightshift (which adjusts the light of ur phone so that it’s better for ur eyes) but for your computer!! 
2. EXTENSIONS/PLUGINS
browser homepages
momentum: im sure you’ve seen this around so i won’t say too much about it, lots of ppl use it 
pros: simple and pretty, great background pics that change automatically, has the weather + daily quotes
cons: the to do list is pretty limited
lanes.ios: this is basically like a digital bujo
pros: great organization system that even allows u to filter tasks by color and lets u set a pomodoro timer for your tasks
cons: a lot of features are only available if u upgrade
be limitless: tracks the time u spend on websites 
pros: you can send emails directly from it, type quick notes, and set daily goals. oh and depending on the time of day, it changes the background pic and has cute little reminders like “it’s time for lunch!”
cons: the timing of those cute reminders aren’t always accurate so it’s a bit strange sometimes, but this isn’t such a big deal
infinity: clean way to easily visit all ur fave websites + v customisable. 
pros: you can access stuff like ur history, bookmarks, and settings directly. also has weather, to-dos + notes.
cons: none so far tbh
save for later
mercury reader: allows u to change the font, text size of the webpage ur currently reading. 
pocket: easy to use and organize with tags. the greatest thing is u can sync with all ur devices and easily find them later!
candy: also has highlighting, but where it rly shines is how minimal and nice the reader view is + how easy it is to share stuff 
productivity
diigo: while u can also save stuff for later with this, it can do so much more!! other features include highlighting on any pdf/website, adding sticky notes
floating for youtube: ok so not exactly for productivity, but it can help with multitasking! basically it minimizes ur vid and u can move it around while doing other things
3. TRICKS
pinning tabs: if u right clip on a tab and pin it, will remain there even the next time u open up a new webpage.
search sites directly from ur omnibox: go to settings and find “manage search engines”. then, for example, u can quickly search in wikipedia without having to go to the website.
opening search in new tab: let’s say ur on tumblr. u type “cute puppies” in ur omnibox, hold the command key while pressing enter, and voila! cute puppies will be in a new tab and you’ll still be on tumblr.
you can search something in new tab without leaving ur current pg by holding down command/alt
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