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randomwritersview · 3 years

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cybersecurity

"Ping" rings your mobile. You reach out and check for that notification. Wait what?

"40,000 has been debited from your account". No god this cannot be true.

One side of your mind asks "what did you do bro?"

The other replies "bro I didn't do anything!".

Okay wait now what ? Inform parents?

duh,that's the last thing we do!

Cyber crimes! oops, scary. Okay let me start. Nah don't want to show you a pie chart or some percentage with perhaps two decimal places like you are going to remember it all. I'll tell you a story. A story that sent chills down my spines and it started this way.

A team wanted to do some research on cyber bullying .So they faked a 30 years old woman as a 15 years old and posted pictures and what happened next? She received a lot of messages. Oops should I call it DM? Posh.

Anyways what were those texts? Well most of them were censored, so you can imagine what kind of texts those were and guess what? Such texts were received within a minute she created that fake account. Later she replied to all of them like how a teenage kid would. I just wanted this story to end because I was already disturbed by those texts and later one among those guys asked her to meet him at a place. Oh my god. I do not know what made me shiver at that moment. Just like how some people cry or laugh watching a serial picturizing themselves in the actor's or actress's position and at that point I felt the same way. So now how to meet this guy? The lady there was 30 years old and making her look like 15 was quite a job. Well there's make-up you know. Soshe was ready and they met. He spoke rubbish which was again censored and all I could hear was beeeppp. Later he compelled her to come over to his place but as expected she kept refusing.

The video ended here. Okay what else do you expect? A hero to pop out and punch this guy? Nope that doesn't happen in real life. People do get injured and face trauma for the rest of their lives. Not just the trust on social media is lost but faith in the entire humanity is being questioned. Who should be blamed? The victim or the accused? The parents of the victim for not teaching her how to be cautious or the parents of the accused for not teaching him good manners. Whatever the matter is, whomever you blame, at the end of the day the victim suffers and suffers in such a way that she wants to undo all this, may be press Ctrl+Z but just can't do that and at last you know what she does? Ctrl+D to her entire life.

When a guy says” baby I'll protect you” or when a brother says “I'll protect you sister”, that's heroism but when the same guy harms someone else that is supposed to be OKAY. Why? Couldn't she be someone else's baby or someone else's sister? So it all means your baby must be protected but someone else's?

Nahh who cares.

Let’s jump to another story.

You want to move into another home and hence you need someone to help you with lifting, transporting ,etc. So you go online and search. You find a site where the ratings are 4.7/5 and isn’t that awesome? But wait, you dig deeper and find that it’s very expensive. Well, we all hate spending right?. I mean we demand for branded shoes, branded bags(okay forget,that's a secret) but for transportation and stuff? Waste of money, isn’t it?

Now what? You search for another website and wow, you just found another company whose prices are reasonable and you give all your information, close your laptop and inform your parents not only about the final cheaper company but also about the previous costlier company and how greatly you found this god gifted website. Somewhere deep in your heart you have that immense joy that you just saved a fortune. So yes, people come and start helping you with the lifting and loading it on to their trucks . You tell them where your new house is and they say "ma’am shall we unload these in your new house?, you take rest ma’am and come within an hour, no worries". Man, how good are these people. So you tell them to move and perhaps after an hour you go there and find out the truck has just vanished. You wait and wait, nope yet nothing happens. Suddenly you have an idea “why don’t I open the website and contact them?”.

Wait! the website disappeared too? Now what?

Hell of a story isn’t it?

Another trend. This is a bit funny one. I personally receive texts, almost every day saying 'you have won 20 Lakh rupees, please contact us'. You know, when they say so, I actually feel proud that all of a sudden I became rich, just like that.

And what's more funnier is that some believe it innocently and send their information thinking they actually got lucky.

And you know what's the funniest? There are a few who know all this is fake yet for their curiosity or must I call it adrenaline, that makes them want to give it a shot. First they say ‘just deposit 5000 we'll transfer 20 lakhs to your account’. 5000 isn't a huge amount is it? or should I tell 5k to make it shorter? Anyways, these so-called "smart " people deposit 5k but you know what, you can actually just tell them to cut 5k out 20 lakhs and tell them to send the rest.

Okay forget, that doesn't work.

So by doing this tiny step you fall into a huge trap and rest we all can imagine. Nobody gives you 20 lakhs for no reason,remember that. I mean we all are not that lucky that some random person comes out of nowhere and be like "hey keep this 20 lakhs bro.full on party you do okay!". No no that doesn't happen or I’ll give another example. A random girl calls you up and she be like "sir my friend had taken my phone number to send some OTP but accidentally he interchanged the last two numbers which happened to be your number. So sir can you please forward me that OTP which you received? sorry for this inconvenience sir and thank you for your time" Wow when someone speaks like that, she can't be fraud right? I mean come on she just called you 'sir' and she said an awesome reason and at last 'sorry' and 'thank you' too. She must be a literate person and when a girl addresses you as 'sir', that's next level. Hold on. Don't you dare think that way. She just narrated an amazing grandma tale and you believed it like a kid, like how we all thought that there's an actual rabbit on the moon. So the question is whom to trust and whom not to? Well, that's your problem. Because when the cheaters are getting smarter you can't use the same 70's technique that "I will be a good guy and help everyone". That will definitely drown you.

But why is there less awareness or shall I say ‘more ignorance’ regarding such disturbing crimes?. We all think that this might not be a big issue like how murders or rapes are, even though people do lose lives in cyber bullying just like how they do in murders or rapes.

cyber crime or corruption, due to limited laws or due to ignorance, could be like rust, you can and will ignore them initially but one day you will fall ,as they might not be rapid but that doesn't mean that they do not do their job. I feel that rather than changing laws we need to bring a change among us. There are already so many laws and you know, our country’s constitution is one among the best ,yet why are there crimes? Earlier for rapes ,penalties were put later laws changed and death sentences were generally given to the accused. So now there’s a new “trend” these rapists have due to this law. They burn the victim so that no evidence could be obtained and they could save themselves from being hanged. Hence it becomes difficult to obtain samples if the body is burnt. Remember I told you earlier no matter what, the victim suffers at the end. At least she could have survived if she wasn’t burned. So yes, we can make laws but first we need to change. More than change, I’d like to say we need to become more generous ,responsible and all other ‘good adjectives’.

Now, how can I prevent all this from happening to me? What should I do if I'm already going through all these? Friends, please do understand that all instances I have written above are related to money, except one and that one is actually a very sensitive issue. So if there are any victims among the readers, I would like to say one word 'communicate'. There are people out there who can help you, even if there's a fault from your side, it's absolutely okay. It’s absolutely okay to be wrong because it was all a trap, which may be ,you didn't figure out. So if there is someone who you really trust let them know. It could be anyone, your parents, teachers, friends, etc. They'll surely take careful measures without making it a big issue, if that's what you are scared of. So please communicate. Whatever happens suicide is not an option guys. Every problem has a solution if properly tackled and also remember ‘we have more days to live than the days we have lived’. Hence you can correct any mistake or solve any problem.

Cyber crimes are not about computers, it’s about the behaviour, both yours and theirs.

and do not trust someone blindly. She might have the sweetest voice or he might be the most handsome man yet DO NOT trust. Their techniques keep getting updated but we should not fall for them. Virtual world is absolutely fake. Though some may have millions of followers on social media, yet they do commit suicide because of lonliness. . So counting your friends in numbers makes no sense.

So, you may have hundreds or thousands of followers on Instagram but that doesn't mean you have them all when you need them and nobody knows how many are fake accounts among them. So do not fall for someone's profile and take a step further because you are unknowingly falling into the trap on your own.

So here I’ll be ending my essay. To be frank, I have not used any fancy words to show off my terminology. Isn’t a spelling bee contest here. Moreover I wanted to make you understand what I wanted to say and if I was successful in it, I am really proud. Proud that I made at least a few aware and perhaps safe from the threats they may face someday. Remember,Patriotism isn’t shown by putting status or sticking flags on vehicles for one single day. Show it by not doing such crimes or by helping our own country men by preventing them from falling into such traps. Rather than just be an Indian ,let us all be responsible Indian and work for the betterment of our nation.

JAI HIND.

#my first blog #showsomelove #randomwriter

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slothcritic · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Episode 10 Review

A satisfying conclusion with plenty of jabs, jibs and a ghost whatnow?

While The Punchline has been split up into three parts, I will be reviewing and judging all three parts as a single episode within a single review. I will be giving out scores for each part just for posterity however, but only the overall score will be considered this episode’s actual rating.

In the cold open, Vegeta is absolutely thrilled over snapping Nappa out of existence, and Goku asks Krillin and Gohan to retreat while he deals with Vegeta. Krillin is already gone, screaming and crying. Gohan and Goku have a brief conversation about putting dinner on, because he's hungry. There might be some reference I'm not getting here, or if it's really just a face-value scene, but I think it would've been funnier if the title sequence had begun just after Krillin is shown running (flying) away to safety.

[Title Sequence, Part 1]

Goku and Vegeta opt to find a new battlefield, as the one where Nappa decimated the Z Fighters is a little "corpsey." King Kai starts taking bets on which of them is going to win, and even the Narrator tries to get in on that, despite already knowing the outcome.

The delivery on Vegeta's lines early on is not promising. I'm not sure if it's poor audio quality caused by a crappy microphone or if Lanipator was struggling with some kind of throat infection while recording these lines, but it's noticeable as there's a long extended conversation with a voice that sounds like sandpaper to the ears. I actually went back to check on the previous episodes to see if I was taking crazy pills, and no, Vegeta sounded just fine before. I have no idea what the reason or cause of this change might be, whether it was a deliberately different delivery or if they were rushing to put this episode out, but Vegeta sounds consistently more raspy in this episode than the gravelly deadpan to which I've become accustomed. For all I know, yelling as Vegeta might just by taxing on his vocal chords.

Putting the voice issue aside, Goku's oblivious lack of understanding for the word "elite" and the back and forth between the two of them works on the whole as a great scene.

"I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop."

I can't remember whether or not that's a reference, but I love the delivery on it. Vegeta has just finished dealing with Nappa and now has absolutely zero patience for someone just as braindead.

Sure enough, after being taunted about a cave full of gumdrops and ice cream, Vegeta drops the "That's it! EVERYONE DIES!" which might be one of my favorite things said in this episode, but it’s followed closely by:

"Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot." "Well that's not very nice." "OF COURSE NOT! I'M FUCKING EVIL!"

The dynamic here works astoundingly well. It's very different from Vegeta and Nappa's duo, but works on similar foundations. With Vegeta and Nappa, Nappa was the ridiculous one and Vegeta served as his anchor. With Vegeta and Goku, the roles are flipped and Vegeta is now the ridiculous one, screaming his head off in frustration and writhing around in the death throes of his pride, while Goku's complete obliviousness and innocence keeping him grounded as the anchor. Nappa was purposefully annoying because he was a bratty, childish mook, while Goku is just annoying by happenstance and being very, very hard to put down. It doesn't help that Vegeta actually wants to kill Goku, and unlike Nappa, he's having less than success with this one.

The overall production of the climatic beam struggle is surprisingly well executed, and is perhaps the best moment in this entire episode from a technical perspective. Goku speaking as he charges up the Kamehameha doesn't sound cheesy, canned or forced, and neither does Vegeta's delivery. The sound effects and music are also on point here. This is an important moment in the series and I'm glad they got it just right. I have no objections with anything here.

If anything, at about five and a half minutes in, the viewer has had enough time to adjust to Vegeta's new raspier voice and it no longer seems out of place. If he had been speaking "normally" up until this point, I probably would have criticized the delivery on these lines, but it almost feels like it fits on the whole now that this has been established as the "new normal" for the last five minutes. The main point I'm attempting and probably failing at making is that my original complaint was that the new voice took me out of the episode, but in this moment with the beam struggle, Vegeta's voice flows naturally and I honestly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't just (as of now) dedicated two whole paragraphs of this review to JUST talking about how Vegeta sounds slightly different now.

Alright, now it's time to back up a tad, which isn't something I like to do a lot. Twice in this episode, Goku has used the Kaio-Ken and then the Kaio-Ken times three. The first time he used it, he seemed to at least match Vegeta. The second time he used it, he jobbed Vegeta straight into a rocky wall. But it's only good for a few seconds, so it has no sustain. It's essentially one really strong punch or a really quick beat down, but leaves Goku winded and struggling at the end of it.

The reason I didn't bring these up as they happened was because frankly the scenes didn't do enough for me to write about it. I write about what I feel is significant to my review to give context or explanation to my thought process, not to give a play by play. Simply put, they were funny, but nothing notable happened because of it. It was a quick skit, okay, move on. But it's now important to draw attention to those two moments, because while they did very little for me the first two times... Well, during this beam struggle, just as Vegeta feels like he’s gaining the upper hand, the dramatic music quiets to nothing but the sounds of the beams clashing, and all we hear is...

"Kaio-Ken..." Vegeta look on in horror. "...No..." "Times..." "No no no..." "FOUR!"

Vegeta is sent skyward with a loud FFFFUUUUUU- and then twinkles like Team Rocket just blasted off again. Goku is the victor... of this fight at least.

Then there's an odd cutaway back to Roshi's island that's slow to start, but eventually got me to smile. It's all the characters from Dragon Ball reminiscing of times where they used to be relevant to the story. Guest appearance by Baba who almost doesn't appear in Z at all!

It initially felt like a bit of tone whiplash but it warmed up to me. And "Whatever happened to Launch?" actually got a laugh out of me. Seems like Toriyama isn't the only person who forgot about her.

I'm not sure what the point of this scene was, but I agree with the decision that after that climax, a break or calming down period in the tension it had built up was definitely necessary, even if the transition felt a little jarring at first.

"Meanwhile, back at the plot", which is an amazing segue, Vegeta gets off Mr Goku's Wild Ride and the beam continues on without him into the pink sky.

I don't think -UUUUUUCK! counts as an F-Bomb so it doesn't get censored. Booyah!

Vegeta then undergoes a post ass-kicking identity crisis. After devising a plan to turn into the mighty Ozaru, he then undergoes a where's-the-damned-moon crisis.

Good thing Blutz Waves are a thing. He yeets the artificial moon into the sky and boom, King Kong. The other King K attempts to coach Goku through dealing with this beast (that is canonically stronger than Captain Ginyu at this point) and advises Goku to find a safe, secluded location to charge up the Spirit Bomb.

Goku however decides to do it right out in the open. Just as Ape Vegeta's massive fist obliterates Goku, King Kai's crystal ball turns to static and gets the operator disconnected message. I think a dial tone would've been slightly funnier, but this has the same energy so I'll take it with no complaints. An excellent way to end the first part of this episode!

[Part 2]

This part begins with Goku hitting a rock so hard he thinks he's in Dragonball Evolution for a moment. After blinding Vegeta with a solar flare, which I'm still not entirely sure how that works or why people don't use it more often to get cheap surprise shots on blinded targets, Goku finds a quiet spot that he can use to charge the Spirit Bomb. He ends up borrowing so much energy from the planet that he may or may not have drained all the life from an old father deer. Dark, but morbidly hilarious.

Goku tries to fling the Spirit Bomb at Vegeta, but surprise: He's got a mouth laser! Knocks the Spirit Bomb right out of him and sends him tumbling against a rock.

"Hey Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?" "Huh?" "Christopher Reeves!"

CRUNCH! The giant monkey stomps down right on Goku's legs, crushing and immobilizing him.

This is such a bad, good joke. I still think about this one from time to time. And honestly, considering how I started binge-watching these in high school (where I more or less developed into an entirely different person), this joke here might very well be the genesis of my love for black humor. I'm fully willing to admit I'm biased on this, but I think this is one of the funniest dark jokes in DBZA, full stop. If not the whole series, then at least within Season 1. Don't care, evil.

Just as he's about to be crushed for good, Goku shoots a quick energy blast into Vegeta's eye, causing him to stagger backwards. This is where Goku makes his cunning escape, dodging, weaving and doing aerial acrobatics around the massive monkey man, accompanied by victorious fanfare. Or not. Goku's legs are still broken. But it's nice to just imagine how cool that would’ve looked, y’know?

Vegeta then decides he's just going to squeeze the life out of Goku, and his screams can be heard well into the distance, all the way to Krillin and Gohan.

The giant monkey keeps squeezing Goku until he squeaks like a rubber ducky, or a chew toy. He does it again, and another squeak.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious."

In the middle of squeaking Goku relentlessly, Gohan decides to make a stand, having blown back to fight Ape Vegeta. He gives a verbose speech that culminates in "The bigger they are, the harder they fall." and then strikes a fighting pose like his five year old ass is going to do anything against a fifty foot behemoth. Battle gong and everything playing in the background.

Vegeta just stares at Gohan, and then after a pause, squeaks Goku again. This has delightfully petty energy to it, especially coming from Vegeta.

While Gohan has caught Vegeta monologuing, Krillin attempts a sneak attack on Vegeta, but he effortlessly humiliates him and thwarts his efforts by simply hopping over the Kienzan that was coming from behind.

However, he couldn't anticipate two sneak attacks. That or Yajirobe was simply that unlikely of a hero, but here he comes sword and all to save literally everyone's lives as he slices Vegeta's tail clean off his rump.

With no more tail, Vegeta regresses to his original Saiyan form. He's no less dangerous, however, and just as Krillin tries to bring the hype, he gets immediately pinballed into the nearest rocky structure and the owned count strikes 9.

The writing on Vegeta's speech following this is actually quite good. "I thought I'd be angrier" is not a take I expected from someone who's had such major meltdowns and cataclysmic conniptions thus far. It does a good job of illustrating how far down the rabbit hole we've gone, to the point where he has become so angry that he's encountered a stack overflow.

Goku and Gohan have a touching moment, both broken, beaten and bloody, but as they share a heart to heart, and their hands extend towards one another's like a Michelangelo painting, Vegeta comes in like a good fiend and gives Goku a killer knee-shot to the ribs. You have to wait for the right moment!

They immediately cut away to an intermission, which they never do in any other episode, but honestly it fits here. The alternative would be to end the episode here and we've still got another three minutes and some change to go. It's an arbitrary production joke but it's necessary and well done for the scene as a whole so it gets a pass and then some from me.

When we resume, Vegeta and Gohan duke it out, which provides a convenient distraction for Goku to hand off part of the Spirit Bomb to Krillin. It turns out he'd been saving some of the earth juices from when he got the snot knocked out of him earlier, but only a little bit of it. Krillin is confused as to why Goku would trust him of all people with it, and Goku concedes that his back is kind of against the wall on this one.

With a yipee-kay-yay and a booyah motherfucker, Krillin lobs the Spirit Bomb Lite at Vegeta, who simply jumps Krillin’s attack for the second time. Maybe aim a little higher next time, or better yet don’t loudly announce your attacks. Not that anyone in this series would understand that concept anyways.

Now the Spirit Bomb is heading straight for Gohan. But it's okay because Gohan is a main character, so he just Uno Reverse Card’s the Spirit Bomb off his hands and it sproings upwards towards Vegeta once more.

Side note, I don't think it's ever explained, either in the abridged or the original series, how Goku is able to communicate telepathically with Gohan. Yes, Master Roshi says in Dragon Ball that "any highly skilled martial artist can read minds" but does that just mean reading minds or actually communicating between them? And if that's the case, why doesn't Goku use this more often? I could probably find at least one plot point that could've been avoided by this, but the answer is probably extremely simple. Goku is a moron. It's very easy to explain away forgetfulness or inconsistent writing when you can just default to saying that your main character is an idiot who forgot he could do those techniques that you forgot existed as a writer. Don't think about it too much I guess.

"What smells like deer?"

I’ve actually missed this joke every single time I've watched this episode so far, except for just now, when I watched it to write this review. The old father deer from before! That is such a cool and unexpected callback.

Anyways, Vegeta gets punked by the Diet Spirit Bomb and goes sailing into the sky. The Z Fighters - which is now just Goku, Gohan and Krillin - are ecstatic in celebration.

"It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again."

Cue Vegeta's lifeless body ragdolling to the ground with a meaty thwap. Krillin tempts fate by approaching the body, and that goes as expected. Vegeta opens one eye and screams. Then the others all start screaming.

Very weird production mis-step or weird decision with the source footage here. Vegeta's face at least moves, but because all the others have panning shots, they freeze in weird, awkward positions. The action lines don't move, some characters aren't fully in frame, and it's very obviously a still image instead of something like a loop. Maybe this is just what they had to work with. Still, very immersion breaking. Though honestly, I'm almost glad that if something like this had to happen in this part, it was at least in the last ten seconds.

Goku is confused because he can't move. I mean, they won right? Why is everyone screaming.

[Part 3]

This part begins immediately with Krillin getting bitch slapped, earning a 10/10 on the owned counter. Vegeta then decides he has had exactly enough of everyone and everything, and goes for the nuclear option.

Fortunately for our heroes, Vegeta has been so worn down, battered, sent through the ringer, and has suffered so much damage to that one eye in particular, that he doesn't have enough energy left to kill everyone all at once. Instead, he opts to get his hands dirty and cut them each of them down one at a time. Speaking of cut, here comes Yajirobe with his sword. It can pierce through Vegeta's armor, which is wonderful news but ultimately pointless. However, it serves as an excellent distraction.

Remember that fake moon? Remember how Vegeta only returned to normal form because his tail was amputated? Remember earlier how Piccolo had to destroy the Earth's actual moon because Gohan was a rampaging Donkey Kong lunatic? Well guess who just woke up staring right at that fake moon in the sky.

Lacking any barrels in the vicinity, Ape Gohan decides to throw around some rocks.

Goku, again, reaches to him telepathically and reminds him not to go on a rampage killing everyone.

"Remember Icarus? He did it."

Now, purely within this episode, this isn’t an issue. It’s a funny haha moment. However, this scene gets a little more irritating or perplexing once you’ve seen some of the DBZA movies. This knowledge did hamper my enjoyment of this scene on rewatch. However, that ultimately isn’t fair to this episode as a stand alone product, and my gut instinct of “My knowledge of episodes that came out well after this one retroactively makes this episode worse!” is also something I try tooth and nail to avoid. So I’m going to talk about this for a bit and get it out of my system so I can approach it fairly.

Simply put, Icarus is a headache. He's Gohan's friend and pet dragon of sorts, for like three random movies, some episodes of Z and then never gets mentioned again. Goku implies that Vegeta is responsible for Icarus' death, despite the fact that Icarus is still alive at some point after Goku defeats Freeza. I would normally take up the stance of “okay, let’s ignore the official canon / non-canon and just stick to DBZA” but he ALSO features in the DBZA movie Cooler’s Revenge, so this is multiple layers of crazy.

I understand that DBZA exists primarily as a form of parody and thus prioritizes humor and “working with what you’ve got” over some things a harsh anal-retentive person might deflagrate them for (cough cough) and are not afraid to contradict themselves on points of little significance for the sake of humor. I also don’t think they had any long-standing plans to incorporate Icarus into Z at the time this episode was made - They may have simply wanted to make a joke about the DBZ equivalent of Poochie the Dog from Itchy & Scratchy.

Like I said, Icarus is headache. However, simply in this moment and nothing else, I do feel it works. It’s shows a cute dragon geting exploded. Who couldn’t feel bad for this poor random dragon that I totally haven’t ever seen before? It also works within the story itself - Gohan gets sufficiently angry, and Vegeta starts treading the tightrope of desperation.

Gohan's Ozaru form isn't long lived however, as Vegeta suddenly learns the Kienzan and slices his tail off with it. Small problem though, Gohan was airborne, and the regression back to a normal Saiyan form is not instantaneous. His massive body looms over him, and with a Big NO, Vegeta go splat.

He's down but not out. He at least has enough energy to call for his Space Uber to come and pick him up. As he's crawling hands and knees into his escape pod, Krillin suddenly decides he wants to be important, and appears with Yajirobe's sword, poised to strike.

Vegeta is understandably terrified, because after the day Krillin's had, he's gone full ride or die mode and isn't about to wait on an invitation to go full Thanksgiving turkey on this maniac.

However, Goku wants the pacifist ending and gives a very simplified version of the original speech to Krillin. If he's sorry, we have to let him leave. Because that's what being a good boy is all about. It's noteworthy that one of my all-time favorite Vegeta quotes happens right here in the original dub.

"When I come back to this planet, you're all going to suffer. And when you beg me for mercy, I'll stare into your eyes as I crush the life out of you."

However in this version, we're treated to "Yes, I'm very very sorry. Sorry that you're all still alive, suckers!"

And honestly, both versions are fitting for their respective interpretations of Vegeta.

As we pan out, the narrator waxes on the victory of the heroes and how he made bank from his bet with King Kai. Next time, don't make bets with the narrator you stupid idiot. Big dumb idiot god.

I'm writing this at close to 4am if you couldn't tell. Scheduled uploads!

"Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of Dragon Ball Z Abridged!"

And that's it folks! Well, almost. We have one final scene to go through first.

Vegeta is hurdling through space in his Saiyan pod, lamenting his laundry list of losses and failures, but at least concedes that his situation cannot get worse. But we all know what happens to people who tempt fate.

"Vegeta... VEGEEEEEETA..." "Wh-What?" *DING* "I'm haunting you."

And thus, we've reached the end of Season 1! The Ghost Nappa song plays and the outro credits roll.

Conclusion

First off, definitely a longer review than I'm used to writing. Secondly, this was a great three-parter. I wasn't sure if the format would hold up like it does for single segment episodes, but it does. Now I'm sure there are bad episodes to come in the future, but for now I'm happy that the last three or four episodes have all scored relatively high. TFS is going into Season 2 with some great foundations built upon their older, more crude material, and they still have a lot of room yet to improve. I should consider being more critical with this next season as the expectations will be higher!

There’s one noteworthy gripe I have with each of these three parts, but only one worth writing about. -Vegeta suddenly sounding different, as if I didn't talk about that enough. I swear I'm not taking crazy pills. -Weird freeze frames at the end of Part 2. -Icarus, simply because he messes with me on a personal level. This fucking dragon doesn't make any god damned sense.

Other than that, I liked it. I don't know if I'd say "I loved it" but for the series as a whole, we're getting there at breakneck speed.

The first part had some great back and forth interactions with Goku and Vegeta, both the dialogues and the beam struggle, while the second part had more stand-out moments with just Vegeta, from the squeaking Goku, to the "I thought I'd be angrier" speech, his perfectly timed knee to ribs, and the famous last words "What smells like deer?"

The last part... didn't actually have much of this. I didn't find the talk about Vegeta’s father to be terribly funny and nothing else he said was extremely stand-out like in the previous two parts. This part didn't so much have humor as it was the "let's wrap things up" segment. Most of the noteworthy moments happen close to the tail end. I will admit, even ten years later, I still got a little sentimental hearing that outro from LK, and let's not sleep on Ghost Nappa. They may have done you dirty in Kai 3 but we still love you!

Overall, I'm happy that this was as good as I remembered it. I found jokes I didn't pick up the first few times, flaws that I didn't know existed, and a new appreciation for some subtle details that may have glossed over me while I was busy laughing about Christopher Reeves.

Part 1: 75 Part 2: 78 Part 3: 72

Score: 75

Passing Thoughts

"Kaio-Ken!" "Kaio-What?"

Small error on my part - Piccolo blows up the moon in Episode 4, and in my review of that episode, I mistakenly attribute a scene from this episode to DBZ Kai Abridged.

"I'm going to enjoy this far more than I should." - And like that, Vegeta has suddenly become relatable.

"Thank God, I thought he meant penis!"

"Time to crush you like an Arlian." "A what?" "Exactly."

"I haven't killed a damned thing since I got to this god-forsaken planet! Not for lack of trying mind you."

#slothcritic #DBZ #Dragon Ball Z Abridged #TFS #teamfourstar

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monkey-network · 5 years

Text

Good Stuff ~ Stray Thoughts: Steven Universe’s Movie

It’s high time I finally looked at this film. 100%, Monkey Style. Let’s roll...

Ah, a curtain raise. Fancy Schmancy.

Chance the Rapper! Good seeing him have a hand in the music, cause I doubt it’ll sound any different.

I wish the tale was more than just about Steven

Lucky she got planet earth, I guess.

*Holds onto the laugh* She latched onto Greg’s seed. HEHEEE KEK!

That’s one way of putting it

You know, I would’ve preferred he was 18 instead of 16. It makes sense that he’s still a teen, but that is me

I guess this film wouldn’t have gone the way it did if Steven didn’t dox himself like that.

“Saving.“ That reminds me. What of the Cluster? “They’ll never mention it.“ I know. *sigh*

I’m so glad this time skip makes me ask more than accept, trying to make me compelled for season 6 to know what happened in between that time. You’re not slick here, movie.

“The White Power Hour will be right back“

Am I the only one finding this scene with the Diamonds creepy?

“Come on, Steven. You’re all that stands between me and doing the racism.“

Connie! Glad you look spry and well in your 65% of screen time.

Cheek peck! Lovely!!!

Shoot, they could make a whole episode about him being a guest at the space camp. I mean I’m saying this cuz I doubt they are.

Ah, the “What Could Possibly Go Wrong?” song.

Zach is quite the singer when he can sing more naturally

Come on Pearl, don’t make me believe Rose was a character

Oh the chest is open. Neat. Wish I cared.

Unconsenting head warp

1st Born Amethyst is adorable.

*sigh* Wonderful. It’s a shame I’m gonna forget this song.

Ah, the best character in the series has arrived

Real Talk tho: How did our antagonist get to Earth with that craft so quickly? Like, let’s say it took 10 real minutes at best between Steven giving his Homeworld speech to resting on that hill. She just had that injector, roaring to go, and knew exactly where Steven might’ve been all in that short amount of time? “You know logic is not this show’s strong suit.” Let me dream, damn it!

Again, none of this would’ve happened if Steven didn’t out himself

Ruining other people’s happiness. I love her already.

Why did Steven getting his face kicked feel satisfying?

“Pink Diamond“ Ah, the secret word.

While “Other Friends” is such a bop, one of the only good songs so far, I knew this movie would have it’s musicals take place every.... less than five minutes.

Wait. The villain has stretchy powers, so there's an in-Universe reason to be off-model all the time? Oooooh, they’re fucked.

It was at that moment the villain knew, he fucked up.

Again, Steven getting kicked feels so satisfying.

Reaper? Awwwww ye!

I’m telling you. She let him slice her.

What? How can he not control his powers while he’s aware of- ugh.

Surprised he didn’t revert back to no neck Steven

Ok, that quick censor joke got a laugh outta me.

Two for two laughs, Greg is on a roll

How would gems know what seashells are?

Three minutes apart. Not bad.

Whaaat was that zoom?

Ah, the “For the Newbies/clueless” song

We’re doing the amnesia plot, Pearl, keep up a bit.

I’m somehow giddy and uncomfortable at Spinel’s presence.

Beautiful song. Sad I won’t remember this one.

Wonderful lip sync there.

Oh no, chekov’s scythe.

Heheheheheheh, Spinel’s dead eye stare

Ah Lapis, if only the show treated you better

That’s some morbid logic. I can dig it.

Seriously, if you are aware of your powers, then why can’t yo- ugh.

Ye, get the Diamonds. They could punt the injector out, everything could go as planned. Only problem would be having to listen to them.

I doubt Garnet would know what to do, honestly.

Spinel’s VA must’ve had a blast with the role

About five minutes apart. Doing better.

Song is better too. Not memorable, but it’s a fist pump worthy tune.

Dang it, Spinel, you’re precious!

I’m with Steven, I’m getting Cupcakes vibes with that pizza slicer

Ye, just let her pick up that weapon. It’ll conveniently advance the plot.

Oh a lovely constitutional for those two.

Rise of the Shield Hero!

Four minutes apart. Slightly better.

Weakest song by far, but the visuals were amazing.

Subtle moment here. I’ll express later.

Is Onion teleporting?

So sad Ronaldo.

Okay, that was a wholesome moment. “That’s why Amethyst and Steven ARE the best.“ You know it. *fist bump*

Ye, I think it’s best to get out of there?!

I doubt it’s gonna kill everything on Earth

Oh wait, what about the Clu- “It’s not gonna be mentioned.” The Cluster deserves better, man.

I honestly would’ve loved to see Steven lift that entire thing

Great, you made it worse.

But forget the end of the world. We got music to make.

A little over five minutes. Pretty good.

Why am I getting Pat Benatar vibes from this tune?

'Disobedient’ is bad btw

The look Steven and Greg gave before rocking out? I felt that. Now....

There comes a time in all forms of media consumption where you are so utterly bewildered by an event taking place that there are so many things wrong with it that you don’t have words and you simply laugh.....

When I saw this sequence for the first time I wish I recorded it. I burst out laughing, struggling to compose myself, and I was fundamentally blown away at what in the world I was seeing. And the kicker? I wasn’t even entirely sure of why.....

It’s like so many issues cascade on your brain at once, you are overwhelmed and you couldn’t possibly pass it out in the amount of time you have left before something utterly ridiculous happens on top of what you just saw....

So that is why posts like this exist, to collect and come up with a sensible way to exhibit one’s feelings about the sequence because.... what. the. fuck. Let’s roll back.

Chad Gem? Chad motherfucking gem.

Got a pompadour, super-sized mullet, potentially 8-pack, and a clean shave which surprised me the most. They just... *MWAH* pulled no punches with Multiverse’s design.

The powers however confuse me. Can he just fly now and make anyone fly?

I get where people were coming from with their discomfort, but honestly this is the funniest thing in this entire movie. Nothing about this feels right and that just makes it hilarious.

I’m just gonna say it.... *DEEP BREATH IN* RULE 34 MUST HAD A FIE- *snap* Sorry, low hanging fruit.

Did Pearl just literally sploosh?

It’s Always Sunny honestly did this better.

Opal, you’re back for a minute! I forgot she could talk.

We All Float.

Damn Steven, you look like shit.

Steve-o, you’re not helping her situation. Comfort her, fool.

Oof, this is gonna be a painful number isn’t it?

Such a dear jester

A nice detail is that Spinel’s voice feels slowly exhausted and empty the more she shares of her memories. It makes that scene where she snapped at Steven make a lot more sense.

I also like that it isn’t clear if Steven sees what she’s envisioning but can understand what she might’ve remembered.

*taps the mic* Pink is a CUNT. That will be all.

'Drift Away’ was.. beautiful. Ugh, not gonna remember it though, which sucks.

That brings up a question. Was there never a message saying that Pink was “shattered”? Like you’d think news like that would’ve reached any and everywhere, Spinel especially. That certainly would’ve changed a few things.

Okay, ‘Found‘ was a great AND memorable song. That’s two out of.... ten. Not bad.

Greg is honestly the best in this movie.

Uh, Steven? You’re just leaving her there.

“Just Forget.“ How to make someone on edge feel worse in two words or less.

Welp, there’s Chekov’s scythe.

Pretty convenient he kept that around to further the plot.

I would say Spinel’s gone off the deep end, but.... uh, ugh I can’t help but side with her? I really just wanna give her a hug before the end of the world happens.

Garnet, are you gonna do anything? Were you this stagnant?

Ah, it’s the “Marketed like Let it Go” song.

I love that we got chill music in the midst of the apocalypse. It’s a good way to die.

Guess they saved the animation budget for the violence? Lovely.

Wait, that’s it? All that fluid and it doesn’t even look like it’ll destroy the world? Just Beach City? That kinda... kills the tension.

And why was everyone just standing there? Jesus, this feels messy.

It’s the final bout!

Tch, Get Dekt, Steven.

Shield hero’s back!

Spinel I love ya, and I don’t blame ya, but singing’s all they’ve done this entire movie.

Dead.

I got Mob Psycho vibes from that nuke. Don’t know why.

That reminds me. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE MILITARY?! “Cause and Effect is not a stro-” Shut up!

Then stay with him, Spinel. Travel the world, be more than a single one’s friend and... oh, the Diamonds are here.

That’s a fate worse than death, dictators moving in with you.

It’s only been one night, White.... Seriously, this all happened in a day. It feels weird.

I’m with Yellow. That is sickeningly funny.

Seriously, their song is creepy. I don’t trust them like that.

I got a problem with Spinel’s ending deep down. Then again, if she can be happy... then I’m happy that she’s happy. That’s something, I guess.

Okay, I’m tired of the singing.

But when I think about it, I feel bad for Steven. All he just wanted was some time to himself where he didn’t have to deal with any bullshit. Had to teach whole dictators and remodel a whole empire. Yeah, he’s gonna change as he grows, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having “me time” so to speak. Can’t the kid have a chance to not have to worry about anything, actually live a life? No? Jerks?

Well that was a bit of fun. While the musicals and most of the characters felt like an afterthought, save for Greg, Spinel, and Steven, there were a few moments that honestly made the watch worth it, intentionally or not. I really have no interest in seeing this again, but I’m satisfied with the events that transpired and I’m glad the crew got to make this film. “What about the moral of the story?”

Eh, it’s Steven Universe, morals are whatever.

#su the movie #su critical #thoughts #cartoons #Good Stuff #dumb #long post

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cookinguptales · 7 years

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Oh god, I forgot to post the end of year writing meme. So here it is about a week late. I wrote so goddamn much this year. I never expected karabita fandom to just kind of. Happen. haha. It was weird going through my fics and thinking about things like good lines or good summaries. I wonder if anyone who reads the fics remember lines better than I do? It feels weird thinking about someone having a favorite fic of mine or a favorite line from one of my fics or something. After all this time, I still kind of think, like, “well, no one’s really reading/enjoying/remembering what I write” so it’s odd to think of my fics inside someone else’s head. I guess that’s what they’re for, though...

Anyway, my fics this year were full of a lot of ups and downs. If anyone wants to talk about any of them, or you have any questions or anything, it was really fun looking back through them and I’m kind of nostalgic now. lol

(under a cut bc wow this is long)

End-of-Year Writing Meme for 2016.

Stats

Total Word Count: 144,500 on AO3, but probably about 5k more if you count all the fics on Tumblr. I’m…setting aside the nonfiction. So let’s just say 150k.

Total Completed Fics: 44 on AO3, christ

Ship/character/fandom breakdown:

Just going for the ones on AO3 now, so add several more karabita Tumblr fics and and I think some danganronpa, gravity falls, muppets, and maybe SU? I can’t remember all the non-Osomatsu ficlets I wrote this year. On AO3, though, 34 Osomatsu-san fics, all karabita I think. One also contained Ichimatsu/Xmas Couple and Jyushimatsu/Homura. Two fics for Arsenic and Old Lace, both gen. Two Danganronpa fics, Ishimaru/Mondo and Gundham/Sonia. One Gravity Falls fic, Stan-centric gen. One Scooby Doo fic, gen. One Pokemon Go fic, gen. One The Final Girls fic, Vicki/Gertie. Two Muppets fics, both Bunsen/Beaker. Jeez.

Specifics

Best/worst title?

Best… I had a couple I’m fond of. Probably “The Road Not Taken (Again and Again and Again)”, “Six Sips of Strychnine”, or…god, a lot of these are puns. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that some of the pun ones, like “Fowl Play” and “A Ghost of a Chance” and “The Pokemon Trade” are the best and the worst. I’m also not thrilled with “Love’s Carriers”.

Best/worst summary?

Hmm. Frankly, I don’t think I’m very good at summaries. “There is a difference between living and surviving. Karamatsu hovers between the two.” wasn’t too bad. And both “Karamatsu knows that Chibita is drunk, but it's a little hard to take the moral high road with a hand on his dick.” and “Sometimes when two men love each other very much and one man is kidnapped by some aliens and some [censored] [censored] stuff happens, a beautiful miracle is created.” made me laugh. “Sometimes Karamatsu can see the choices he didn’t make, and ones he’s sure he did.” is probably the best, though.

Worst…uh… Most of them… My summaries are so half-assed. Probably either “Chibita loves his new dog, but Karamatsu is hiding something. (Spoilers: NO, he is not a werewolf, he's just allergic to dogs.)” or “‘Write a fic where [Karamatsu] eats a salad’ That's it, that's the fic.”

Best first line?

Errr. I have a few that make me laugh. “For a long time, Karamatsu had labored under the blissful delusion that he was basically a good person.” (All’s Fair In Love and Blow Jobs), “After being attacked by a horde of vampires, being held captive in their den of villainy, and becoming a denizen of the night himself, Karamatsu understandably had to make a few lifestyle changes.” (Developing A Taste), “There were some times, some crimes, that made Velma seriously consider getting a day job.” (Fowl Play). (That one in particular makes me laugh, but I don’t think most people got the allusion.)

I also think a couple set the mood pretty well, like “It all began with Karamatsu kneeling on Chibita's floor, head pressed to wood and his wings folded tight against his back, the perfect picture of submission.” (Feathers and Favors) or “Karamatsu stared dully ahead, not entirely sure whether it was the steam or the alcohol that was making his vision swim.” (The Road Not Taken)

Honestly, I think most of my opening lines are pretty good, or at least serviceable.

Best last line(s)?

I just closed all my fic windows. ;~; Honestly, most of my last lines are more like last paragraphs, and kind of sum up the themes of the fic. They don’t always work well outside of them… But this one is probably the funniest without context.

"She really was nothing but a giant chicken.” (Fowl Play)

General questions

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I wrote far, far more than I expected I would. I wrote almost three times as much this year as I have in all the other years put together on this pseud. (Though actually, I think I did write quite a bit on another pseud last year…?)

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I MEAN I FEEL LIKE KARABITA WAS THE DARK HORSE. I wasn’t even that into it when I started writing it!! I kind of became more comfortable writing the pairing as I went, and now I have a million ideas. I think it really was like 90% the support I got from the fandom that made me keep writing. Uh, that and personal stress. lol

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Uhh. I think Feathers and Favors is the one that meant the most to me, but I think Like Moving Parts is my favorite. It feels homey to me.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

GOD haha um probably mouth full of roses, eyes full of stars. I never, ever thought that melodramatic fic would be as popular as it’s become. It was such an experiment. I’m still not really sure why it caught on. Love’s Carriers also shocked me. I wrote both of those fics in such a short period, and I was expecting them to go largely unremarked. And then others I thought would go over well and they were basically ignored. so. Fandom is weird.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I REALLY LIKED MY POKEMON AU but I also acknowledge that many of the best parts still remain on my hard drive. God, I need to post the rest of that fic. I guess the Pokemon craze has kind of passed, though…

Life Line, Heart Line wasn’t exactly underappreciated… I was just writing for a fandom of one and I knew it. It wasn’t shocking to me that no one read it, and it was mostly just a short ToT fic so it didn’t sting. (I…learned my lesson about writing really involved fics for minuscule fandoms after I wrote that Sleep No More fic.)

Story that could have been better?

Er… Probably a lot of them, all told. I’m really not very good at writing sex, so probably some of those especially.

Sexiest story?

I…guess probably the sexy rent fic, haha. Though again, I think a lot of the best parts of that are still on my hard drive.

Saddest story?

Errrr… Probably Little Ghost, Little Ghost or the zombie ficlets. Both of them that involve dead halves of my OTP and the other half coping badly, essentially. Or The Devil At The Crossroads, because that one involved suicidal ideation.

Most fun?

Probably the Muppet fics! It’s a fun canon. Or, oh my god, that silly, stupid Scooby Doo fic. I loved it, people loved reading it, it was stupid. It was really fun haha.

Story with single sweetest moment?

Uh.. Frankly, I think I specialize in sweet moments, so this is a bit hard for me. The confession scenes at the ends of Like Moving Parts and Feathers and Favors stand out, but I think most of my readers would pick other moments, lol.

Hardest story to write?

Emotionally, it was Feathers and Favors. I…cried a lot while I wrote that. It touched on some very personal parts of my life. Love’s Carriers probably required the most research. I had to walk to florists haha. The Arsenic and Old Lace fics fought me a lot, largely because of election angst, which is why I ended up writing two. I’m relatively happy with Six Sips, though.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

I had fun with basically every single monster one, hahaha. I have such a type. Paradoxically, I think that Feathers and Favors was also one of the easier ones to write. I wrote so much in such a short period of time, because it just flowed really well. I guess writing it was kind of therapeutic.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Honestly, I think I thought a lot more about gag characters than is really right or proper this year. My perceptions changed a lot, and I came to love both Chibita and Karamatsu even more. (Which…is what happened to me when I wrote Beaker last year…)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Uhh… I mean… I wrote a lot of short, weird little fics this year, but largely in a fandom where I mostly knew I’d have an audience. (But I did worry a lot about alienating said audience, especially after they got used to fluff from me.) The zombie ones were outside of my comfort zone, but everyone was writing zombies so it wasn’t that much of a risk. The Road Not Taken actually was a risk; it was one of my first Osomatsu-san fics and I had no idea how it’d be received.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I don’t know… I’d like to finish a few of the karabita WIPs I have on my hard drive, but… It does kind of seem like the fandom for the pairing is dying off, doesn’t it? I still have a lot of stories to tell, but maybe soon I’ll have no one to tell them to… So maybe one of my goals should be finding a new fandom, too, huh? I tend to hunker down when I find a pairing I really like, but I often stay long after the audience has moved on, which just leads to frustration. Sometimes I look at the karabita AO3 tag and feel kind of embarrassed because I’ve written such a large percentage of the fics that are there, like maybe I’ve glommed onto something dumb too much? But it’s been one of the few fun things in a terrible year, so oh well, whatever. Still, branching out a bit couldn’t hurt.

I’d also like to write more of my ideas for original fic, though I’ll admit I find that very… large. My origific ideas have a habit of getting away from me, and then they’re too big and I get overwhelmed and set them aside. I should probably give them a chance to grow, though. I have so many f/f ideas, and the world needs more f/f origific.

#just me

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