#okay but i should really go sleep now

[mrpsychokiller]

i think the "it's rotten work. not to me, not if it's you" quote feels different when you're disabled or neurodivergent or ill in some way. in some translations we get the context that Orestes is specifically worried that it's disgusting or unpleasant to touch someone who's sick.

Philip Vellacott (1972)

David Kovacs (2002)

Orestes, even when talking to someone so close to him, cant help but feel like a weight to those who love him. he sees himself as disgusting, revolting to look at or to touch. a burden to be taken care of.

and while in many translations Pylades replies with "Not for me", in some he also just reaffirms he will do it.

William Arrowsmith (1958)

Kenneth McLeish (1997)

Pylades doesn't care whether the task is hard, unpleasant. I'll do it. he cares for Orestes and he will take care of him regardless of how difficult it might be. what Pylades is saying with Not for me, not if it's you, is that even if Orestes feels like a burden himself, Pylades doesn't see taking care of him as a burden, and even if it is, he will do it anyway. because he loves him no matter what.

not to me if its you because i want to take care of you. because its you. because i care about you. because i want to do it for you.

#🧃 #okay i should sleep soon #i feel silly posting this. can you tell ive been really sad lately #im going through stuff and now suddenly related to That One Overused Quote

[like-the-rest-of-la]

Happy Little Accidents

The last thing Eddie Diaz expects to come out of his trip to Buckley’s Plant Nursery & Landscaping with his son, is to develop an honest to god schoolgirl crush on the guy who owns the place (and not notice that that is what’s happening for an embarrassingly long time).  

The plan is simple. Get in, have Christopher pick out a couple of succulents or whatever he needs for his school project, and get out without infesting any of the gorgeous plants in the shop with his bad plant karma. 

But then, the first thing he’s greeted with is a hunk of a man, carrying two heavy packs of soil on his broad shoulders. Eddie swears he can see a drop of sweat running down the man’s face in slow motion. His t-shirt looks like it’s one strategic muscle flex away from bursting at the seams and Eddie—Eddie feels nervous all of the sudden. And he’s gaping like a fish. 

“Hey,” Hunk-man says as he hoists the soil on the counter next to him with a grunt, “What can I help you with?”

At least Eddie has enough self-awareness to close his mouth.

Or: the one where Buck owns a plant nursery and Eddie stumbles through his crush (and has no game during all of it)—oh and also, there are a lot of Bob Ross references.

Read on Ao3

(With a banner by the wonderful @theladyyavilee thank you so so so much <3)

#9-1-1 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #911 fox #I cannot believe this fic is finally done #...it's the first longer fic I've written and finished in probably 5 years and it's the first longer fic I've written for this fandom #I am always a LOT more nervous about posting writing than posting my art because... it is a lot harder for me lol #but - just as Buck is telling Eddie in this one - practice makes definitely better so I will continue to expose myself xD #I really hope you do like it... I was very nervous about posting it and Sarah bravely held my hand during this :D #and now I will be going to bed because it is 2AM and I should definitely be sleeping kdjfalkdjklf #okay... #nighty night! #lisa writes #au shenanigans #the buck owns a plant nursery fic 🪴

[astrxealis]

dear gods i adore horror tbh but i am way too sensitive to it

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #idk how to describe 'sensitive' rn i'm dying in the head i should be asleep but Man!!!!! #i search up tons of horror stuff for funsies. movies uhh creepypastas stories real life events etc. fun! #BUT it freaks me out wayyy too much. bcs i really don't deal well w Those feelings of paranoia. #my imagination too good i was scared at night going to sleep bcs i'd imagine what to do if an intruder came in from the bedroom door #or bathroom door and think of how i'd escape Death......... #Did Not Help my area before was kinda yk. chillax. chillax meaning grassy tree-sy backyard overgrown trees #old-ish in a filipino chill neighborhood that isn't very fancy ?????? idk. #and the fact one time my dad almost died and someone standing close to him Did die so. haha. traumatized from that. #I WASN'T THERE..... but i rmbr my dad coming home and the news absolutely terrified me. anyway! #wow... rambling on tumblr at 3 and a half am... Nostalgic. #anyway yeah i love love love horror stuff but i am !!! so bad w them !!! like jesus christ i adore resident evil and bloodborne #is my whole bloodline. or something. but i can't even watch my twin kill 1 zombie in a re game Demo (she can't do it either) #and i can only make it to killing the first monster in bloodborne and explore a tiny bit where there are still no enemies. god. #AAAGGGGHHHhhhh ... and the first point of horror in omori then i stop playing for months...... even tho i rlly wna play more :(( #2024 ........ cmon... i will try to overcome my fears more. #i've improved somewhat at least! ...from when i was younger. like. man. i could never stay in night-time in games ever. #ffxv? nah i always have to travel at morning. only when i got strong enough that daemons were nothing to me did i stop #getting scared. ouuughhh... and i always try to be stealthy in games........... for many reasons ofc but 1. Scared #okay i shut up now. apollo rambles of tonight: done and over!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

one thing i'm really really fascinated by is the fact that everyone in the modern pokemon world seems to consider the deities a power source, nothing more. the games generally imply that knowledge of the legendaries has been lost to time and legend and only preserved by a select few who keep to the Ancient Ways but i don't really think that sounds likely. i think they might be common knowledge people just don't seem to. conceptualize them as greater than in the way that we generally think of them. "this is a divine force that underpins reality and has been worshipped since antiquity" is not a thing that seems to have any problem coexisting with "i'm going to put this thing in an engine and make it my tool." and it's very frequently the baddies doing this which maybe weakens the point a little but very rarely is the point of contention with the bad guys "hey you shouldn't do that to god" that's kind of like, never the part of their thing that people object to. it's always their motives, never their methods. when the Good Guy (local ten year old) catches god and makes it their new partner, nobody has a problem with it! and people joke about this but i'm saying it might imply a way deeper facet of society than people give it credit for.

and is this maybe trying to force the round peg of pokemon legendaries into the square hole of actual religion. very possibly! the games aside from pla certainly seem only very occasionally interested in treating these creatures as gods or godlike or worshipped in any way, and far more often just want to treat them as regular pokemon But Stronger. so it's maybe not reasonable to try and say these entities are deities. but the problem is they are! it's not like this isn't supported textually, it's just... not a part of canon that canon is actually interested in. dialga, palkia, the lake trio, kyogre, groudon—these things are gods. canon can mince words and call them legendaries and "worshipped as deities maybe sometimes" but when you get to the point where you're discussing something that represents a fundamental force governing reality and/or can end the world on a whim then idc what you call it. that's a god.

but the problem is that they are gods and also pokemon, they're both simultaneously. and people in the pokemon world seem to have worked this out, and have had the collective realization that the gods are truly not exempt from their own rules. they can be captured, they can be subjugated, they can be used. this also ties back in with the whole anarchism discussion obviously but it's just the fact that like. it goes way deeper than everyone being fine with the ten year old putting the lord of time in a ball. the entire world operates on the premise of "eat your gods."

does that like... contradict worship? can you be faithful to something knowing it's been used as a tool?

#the nemesis speaks #pla analysis #this is essentially one long rambling conversation with myself because i should really be going to bed #this all also hinges on the pokemon/trainer relationship conceptually which ive never had a chance #and/or willingness to really try and dig into that bc it's like. #an idea that feels intuitively easy to grasp but would be way more difficult to explain in words #it's not... it's really not like anything we have in the real world. it's Different. #but like. gestures vaguely. also relating to the distinction btwn Tool and Partner in that relationship #and how the former is generally how the Bad Guys lean wrt both their pokemon AND the gods #whereas the latter is how the protagonist and most non-evil people approach it. #anyway. going to bed now promise promise #but im not even talking about the key players in the games i'm talking about the regular guys! the everyday randos! #religion is so integral to our societies and it's clear that this was at least in the PAST a thing that the pokemon world people possessed #but... what about the modern day? are dialga and palkia still worshipped? reshiram and zekrom? xerneas and yveltal? #another of the many. many many reasons i want to Do Something with the hypothetical history sitting around in my notes #cause it also comes back around to this concept of people using gods as tools #OKAY. SLEEP. NOW.

[running-in-the-dark]

did nothing all night, now I can't fall asleep. great!

#I mean. what I did do. is watch night court and think about dan a lot #and there is a possibility that maybe I'm not able to fall asleep because I'm busy putting that man in situations. #must figure out the best way to make a leverage + night court crossover work #for no reason. especially not so eliot (and I) can meet dan #haha no not that at all #no one is thinking about them (us) making out haha that'd be weird :) #so anyway how do I turn my brain off. there should be a switch. just. okay we've had our fun now it's time to go to sleep #but no instead I have to think about that. sigh life is so hard 😔 #personal #and now I've also got a headache. well that really doesn't help

[ereborne]

✨⚡️ Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ⚡️✨

Tagged by @acountrygirlsfun (a couple times by now, though not actually this most recent time, but I figure it still counts!) Thank you, Caitlin <3 <3 <3

Helix took a deep breath in, counted four flashes of the desperate direct-@ lights coming in from his side chat panels, and breathed out.  His voice came out steady, and miraculously casual.  "We understand why you did it. You were trying to keep our brothers safe." He watched Harp's eyes go wide at the 'our' brothers. Like he hadn't expected the rest of them to claim the Corries. Because he'd been hiding from them just like from the longnecks, he had falsified his— Deep breath in. Two flashes, no time for longer, leave no silence for Harp to panic in.  Breathe out. Keep going. 

This is not seven sentences, but it's also largely not complete sentences anyway, and it is literally what I just seconds ago finished writing. Still counts!

No-pressure tagging uhhh @ialpiriel, @goingsparebutwithprecision, @anaclastic-azurite, anybody else who might want to play?

#tagged by #acountrygirlsfun #I should be taking a shower and going to sleep but this scene isn't clicking so rather than getting frustrated I'm posting it here #I will have to go back through in my rewrites later and make sure everyone doesn't have their breakdowns in the same way #I do a bit better when the characters are speaking out loud #but for internal thought processes I tend to end up with them all sounding suspiciously similar to my own. whoops #anyway this is more of the good data management AU! we've just learned that the Corrie Guards Are Not Okay #and now most everybody else is also Not Okay! we're having bad times today folks #in the story I mean. I had a fine day! #and though it is emotionally fraught and currently fighting me I am still very happy to be getting back to my beloved Guard #Harp's a medic OC and I adore him and he and the Guard he's trying so hard to take care of really deserve a break #and now their brothers are a little more aware (seriously they have only just nicked the tippest bit of iceberg) of how not okay they are #a break they shall shortly receive!! #(it's gonna come with a double helping of Bother so they won't be very grateful. but they will be better rested and that's what matters)

[dawnthefluffyduck]

#messing around in ms paint #i was working on something to post on halloween but i got frustrated with it and set it aside for now #maybe i'll redo this later 'cause the actual picture grew on me #there's more i could do to this but really i just don't wanna sleep #i think they call it reclaiming time and i should stop so i'm going to do that #anyway kris and noelle #i don't really have anything cool or profound to say #just that their relationship is so bittersweet #they have a bond that was quite possibly very strong a long time ago #despite whatever happened #i think kris still cares a lot for her #but an already strained relationship crumbled once more by something completely out of your control #is extra painful when that person was like family to you #i mean she's the first to notice something is off with kris in *that* route #granted she spent more time with them alone #but to catch it before their own mother?? #i know we have pretty good guesses as to what happened but i wanna know for sure #what could possibly drive you away from someone that close to you for so long #okay its 3:19 AM i'll stop blabbing now #kris #noelle #deltarune

[orcelito]

Today was miserable and tomorrow will be even more miserable, but at least I accomplished what I set out to do

Everything moved out of the way and tape sectioning off where the pieces of furniture I'll be getting will be.

Now, if only I didn't have to wake up in 6 hours for that vet appointment...

#speculation nation #im going to sleep Now. after i brush my teeth. #none of my normal dilly dallying. i really cant afford to get less than 6 hours of sleep tonight #thats already pushing it. #so long as it's roughly 6 hours i should be okay tho. took a melatonin so hopefully they'll be as unbroken of hours as possible #wish me luck. im probably going to be miserable tomorrow.

[arsonist-chicken]

Do you ever like.. get a sudden surge of love and admiration and just general happiness because of a friend, so much so that it's almost overwhelming, and you are just so, so glad you met them and hope you'll never have to let them go and get to keep them in your life forever? Yeah ❤️💖🐗🧚‍♂️🦄

#i should go to sleep #but these are the moments i wonder again if i know what a crush feels like and if i can tell the difference between periodical very strong #but platonic affection for a friend and having a tiny crush on them #oh well. in the end does it matter? #but it would still be nice to be able to tell the difference. if nothing else then to know when i actually have a crush on someone i'm not #that close to like that friend or that fond of #fucking hell god please never let me have to let them go. i don't think i've ever met someone i'm that comfortable around and around whom #it's so easy to just be myself #or rarely. maybe with two other friends i don't feel the need to hold back myself from blurting stuff out and interrupting them and #apologising and asking them to continue or just like.. say whatever comes to mind or touch electric pasture fences to see if it still stings #(it does btw but in a sensorally really nice way 10/10 would recommend) #why do amazing people often live so damn far away? last time i met a bunch of people i really got to love was almost lifesaving and #definitely mental health saving. we used to talk every day and now i barely know what any of them are up to :( covid really fucked us over #with everyone just trying to survive and stay sane. we really lost touch and now it #*it's hard to get that back because we're strewn across europe and brasil and the us and everyone's an adult with responsibilities now #i miss them :( gotta try harder to rekindle that #anyway @the universe or whatever fuckers listening: if you put me in circumstances that make me lose touch with her like with them #i'll set the world on fire. she's become far too important to me to let that happen #okay as always i couldn't damn shut up in the tags alright bye bye good night whatever my cat's purring now instead of snoring #scientists of tumblr invent a teleportation machine now. i want to lie in a park and watch dogs and read side by side and remember how good #life can be #mine

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

I should probably go to bed huh

#camera talks #pretty sure I’m sickish bc i get delirious sometimes and it’s kinda happening now #last time it was really bad while I was sick it happened after I woke up so I think that’s why I’m scared to fall asleep #also my brain fog is so bad rn I can’t hold a thought for more than 10 secs. it’s not good. #I should go to bed I have work in the morning.. #oh and I’m not checking for spelling or grammar errors it’s 11:40 pm and I’m a bit insane #speaking of that my #auditory hallucinations have gotten bad enough that idk what’s real when people talk around the house + other stuff #not fun coupled onto the plethora of other things my brain is dealing with tbh #okay #enough cam overshares bc he’s tired time. i need sleep I think

[mothram]

#diana's music diary #good afternoon I'm very tired... #yesterday was okay enough.. maybe even good? Lancer was fun! Ophelia messed up really bad and now the crew is in danger!! yay!! #didn't do all that much else really... I was so exhausted and idk why... I've been so so tired lately... more than my usual eepiness... #I don't know what the exact reason is too it's like... I'm sure I got enough sleep... I had a headache and stuff too so maybe that? #well whatever... I still haven't decided on changing urls yet... today I woke up after like 3 or 4 hours of sleep so my brain is melting #spent an hour looking for a part for my coffee grinder cause I needed it for something (something that isn't coffee) #I couldn't find it so I ended up using a knife to cheat it into working... which worked well but was a little bit more messy n.n;; #I found a couple of nice things when I was looking at least! #a rarity plush an ex gave me and the jacket Sheila gave me years ago... I should clean them up they got a bit dusty from my last move... #anyway later I'm going to try to have some fun... will maybe hang out with friends or just vc with my partner... idk... #the thing I had to get up now for should be done by later at least 😊 let's keep making today good and fun even while eepy n_n;

[regular-human-being]

Some sneak peaks at a text conversation between Quackity and Tommy, from the (hopefully) follow up/epilogue to "I don't blame you for being you" :))))

#okay I really should be going to bed now bc I've been awake for like 20 hours and I'm running on 3 hours of sleep #this is what the wine stream has done to me #everything is starting to look blurry #tntduo #idbyfby #idbyfby epilogue #writing #chit chat

[passthroughtime]

i’m starting to suspect that i just fucking suck 🤔 unsure yet though, but there are lots of signs already pointing to this... gotta mean something 🧐

#not to imply anything and didn’t want to vague-post but i really don’t think i have the right to complain #i mean people say a lot of kind words to me. and i cherish them #and i know it’s just post-publishing depression #or how should i call it #i don’t really want more comments? but maybe i want to know which thing squicks people the most about my writing #i know my biggest problem is the characterization and i want to discuss this so bad #please tell me where i fuck up. please tell me how you see these characters interacting. please give me more food for thought #i just want to talk about the chatacters i think about for several months #ok i’ll. i’ll try to get over myself #💪😞 #i know asking for opinions is not the answer because i should figure this out myself #and i’ve started kind of. analyze every canon scene a bit deeper. #if that would make the difference... we shall see #though i think the people who’d be able to tell me what’s wrong just. don’t go that far into the story lol #understandable. don’t blame them #fuck okay that’s quite enough of tags for now. i should go to sleep. maybe it’ll be easier after #sorry you had to witness this. i’m not well in my head

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

#delete later #man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird #trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg #shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me #should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔 #still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess #just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made. #im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony #well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole #even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw #actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself #but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate #hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week #man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay #hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini #masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh #ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini #aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr #me when i have to do my job at work #i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower #sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit

[i-havenothingelsetopost]

I have started embroidering flowers on my clothing and this is the best most wonderful thing why did I never try this before suddenly the world is beautiful and every little thing matters

#I put some wild chamomile on my least favourite jeans (so if i ruined things it'd be okay) and guess what?? #they're my favourite now #this is fucking amazing what the hell #it's school tomorrow and i really should go to sleep but i want to keep doing this all night #OH MY GOD I COULD DO BIRDS #AND FISH #AND MAYBE DRAGONS SOMEDAY #!!!!!!!!!!

[fakestage]

I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.

#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved #I'm feeling really emotional sorryy #basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself #its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress #I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont. #btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was #so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad #and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life #so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay. #so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy #its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time? #because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right? #but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because #I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life #Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this. #I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like #all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping #Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out? #idk this has been really long im so sorry. #vent #tw vent #tws -> #abuse ment #parents ment #<- in tags