#okay but you cant tell me this didnt happen

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

#i mean if the alternative is whatever the fuck is going on with my best friend rn then hooooo boy #cancelling therapy immediately i never want to change i wanna keep my trust issues forever and ever if its gonna save me from THIS #is he a dick? kinda. yeah. and a coward because if dude was sure he didnt want it since AUGUST and didnt have the guts to end it till now #actually he didnt end it. she was the one who finally snapped. but we seriously fought twice before because she just woudlnt listen #when i said that girl this isnt gonna work and you trust him too much and you're attachment styles are incompatible as hell #your* #but nvm. the least you could do when a 7 years younger girl who's clearly obsessed with you is breaking up with you #cause she just cant take it anymore. and you can see she's still in love with you because you've been lying to her for half a year. #imo the least you could do at that point is just. dont tell her that jfc. just say you're sorry it didnt work out etc etc #dont fucking tell her you stopped being in love with her in fucking august #and just 'didnt know how to end it' and lied when she asked if everything's alright #like my god. yes ig this would never have happened if she hadn't trusted him so completely and expected love to fix her whole life #but jesus dude. she's not even 23 she has a right to be naive. you're almost 30. you DONT get to be a man child anymore #christ. okay. #anyway i wish i could help her but telling her to 'trust less' and 'never truly rely on other people' sounds horrible and cringe and edgy af #but i genuinely dont have any other advice #like babygirl im sorry but your bestie is a piece of human garbage and she's doing the best she can but her best is Not Much alas

[hauntingblue]

SANJI MARRIAGE!!!!!! AHDKAHDKAHDKS

#like i didnt know ahdkajsks #SANJI GAGGED #LUFFY WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES YOU TELL THEM SANJI #NOOOO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO SANJI NOT THIS AGAAAAAIN #WHAT DID THEY FIND OUT #big mom is actually a good strategist... the mugis cant overthrow me if i arrange a marriage between a member and my daughter lmao #sanji smiling saying he will come back as he says goodbye..... #nami chasing after him in her finest gala wear..... omg the drama #the letter 💀💀: to the boys. going to see a girl. will come back whatever happens #the thing is that they will take it as face value and say oh yeah of course he left but see he is coming back he said it #the music is also so good btw... #luffy asking if he will come back with his wife so they have another nakama ahskahdkahs #nami and zoro fighting about the logistics and luffy saying he doesn't get it so they will just ask sanji 😭😭😭 i mean great plan tho #episode 764 #this title is so short... why #a song and everything.... okay make the episodes longer hell yes #omg chopper crush #the cat eats lasagna omg #GERMA 66???? AHKAHSKHAKA TOO CLOSE #family of killers omg #well he did leave #zoro is all alone bc he is trying to process his bf leaving him i know i know #episode 765 #omg luffy teasing zoro about caring for sanji... he knows #the heart pirates booing law ahdhakejs #another feast??? damn #first one without sanji.... #luffy forgetting about something important..... well law wanted to talk i guess and sanji is not there.. #the adults remembered the wano guys but they fell asleep ahskahdkss major L... catastrophic even #episode 766

[atsu-i]

.

#okay but am still annoyed at what happened earlier lol #like #ik am not smart lol but when I wasnt really doing anything or talking to anyone but suddenly am called stupid all of a sudden? #that is different lol #i was shook that I was called that when I wasnt even talking to her #I was annoyed at smth else but not to anyone and then that lol #then I got more annoyed coz of that and i told her #does that make you smarter by calling someone stupid? #tsk #she didnt say anything back #and then I still did my work like nth and then she talked to me like nth happened and I did talk like that too #but eh #fuck #its one of those moments that idk if am overreacting or if me being hurt and annoyed by that is even valid lol #idk #it just hit a nerve and am annoyed that i cant get over it #but this was the second time she did call me that and that was really out of nowhere and not necessary imo #I also told her she can tell what she wanted to say w/o saying am stupid and she just said but you are #dang #i just need to let it out coz its really still in my head and in my emotions(?) lol #i wanna snap but nah #NAH #personal #ranting shit

[headless-horsepossum]

@anon if you see this I'm reluctant to answer your ask bc I Don't Have Anything To Say and I am Confused by the fact that you went it twice 😅 but for the record it's not really the adhd meds I'm worried about lmao

#its the Mix Of Many Medications. the testosterone. and the Nebulously Diagnozed Illness #(and also the gay sex i guess. lmao) #anyway what i think your ask is trying to communicate is 'they let me give blood even though i am on adhd meds' #which. genuinely do not feel bad but like. okay? 😅 #its such a specific story that a. i cant tell what the main takeaway is supposed to be #and b. i truly am like. ...okay?? im happy for you or sorry that happened #anyway i saw it and was like 'okay idk why they sent this but i dont have a response so im just gonna. move on' #and then it...... Appeared In My Inbox A Second Time #which is. like. um. im confused by this #......anyway. uh. #delete later #also yk the thing about anon asks is i cant make this easier for the sender to see in any way but if you do happen to come across this. #Thats Why I Didnt Answer 😅

[sapphic-woes]

The more and more I think abt the roomie thing the more it makes no sense

#so now she hangs out without asking of i wanna come which is fine by me #she literally just asked if i was okay like. the next day and i said yea and then she just walked away so #ig her whole thing abt understanding i had an ed rlly was just only cuz she had no other friends #now she can just throw me in the dumpster lmao #but. also she insisted and asked like over and over that day it happened if i wanted her to come as like emotional support #when I initially told her it was okay not to #and then when i cave. cuz obviously doing this alone is scary and i say yea yk it would be nice #shes!!! frustrated!!! with me!!! #like im sorry you feel the need to help even when it inconveniences u but u cant get mad if u ask over and over until i tell u to come #i and i heard her talking on the phone and it was smth like 'well if shes mad then...' and i didnt hear the rest but it gave me like #if shes mad i didn't support her oh well #and its not?? that??? its this weird pitying??? id didnt even ask for! #like she acts like i was expecting her to drop everything and help me when i literally told her she can enjoy the game. like. literally #if this is like an excuse to throw me away then ok but this literally wouldn't have been an issue #if she had just said smth lik #'okay but im here if u need me' or smth #cuz now i feel like she thinks i think im entitled to her help #but I NEVER ASKED FOR IT

[caruliaa]

btw being annoying abt this thing that happened almost a week ago at this point bc had no tumblr then but i remember at one point when we were with our cousins and kinda just chatting and hanging out nd stuff my sibling just like. was repeatedly like being mean and insulting me for the most minor things and like it was rude but didnt rly hurt that much it was j whatever yk but they kept doing this but i was mostly like whatever even though they were being pretty mean nd at some point they were like "go walk of a cliff" and i was jokingly like "ill tell mum you said that" and then they were like "well you can tell that to her but i can tell her things too yk" basically threatening to out me or like. tell our parents about me having online friends and shit which is a pretty fucked thing to say and like. a completely inordinate reaction to me making a joke but we were around other ppl nd my i wasnt out to one of the cousins so i cldnt be like "hey what the fuck is wrong with you for threatening to out me over a joke" so i was just like "you kept insulting me and our cousins thats rude!" and then they got so sulky and was like "oh im not allowed to insult people but people are allowed to insult me?" even though that like. i never said that ?? and none of us were insulting them ??? and when i was like "i never said that its wrong for people to insult you too" they started talking about how im allowed to be annoying though and thats not fair when they cant insult me or whatever. hi.

#LIKE WHATS WRONG WITH THEM. HI. #like i think literally being sad becuase 'i cant insult people :(((' is ubsurd. like hi hello. #AND LIKE I LITERALLY GET JOKING BANTER AND BEING JOKINGLY RUDE BUT THEY WERE LEGIT BEING SO RUDE. #but also the insulting wasnt even that big of a thing i j pointed tht out bc its the only thing i cld say in that situation #the big thing was fucking threating to out me like. hello ??? what the actual hell is wrong with you ?? #like. idk if i got the tone across right in this post but like. they were fully serious when they said that and like. ik it seems vauge #but istg they were fully alluding to either outing me; telling my parents about my online friends; or telling them that i do not like them #(using semicolons as commas there) #which is like. what the fuck is wrong with your threatening to do any of them considering the consequences to me #in hindsight i think they thought i was being serious abt the telling our mum abt what they said thing but like. #even fucking then thats not an appropriate reaction to that?? like ?? #like the thing is if i had told our mother that she would have just been like “thats wrong you shouldnt say that!” and then we wld move on #but like. hiii if u told our parents the shit ur alluding to there it cld put me back into one of the worst places iv been in in my life #and ruin so much fucking shit for me and destroy my mental welbeing and force me to go through a major traumatic even again basically #like thats what wld happen to me as a result of how out parents react to that . nd if i did what i joked abt ud j get scolded once. hi #also the thing is theyre also fucking queer so they should fucking know better than to jokingly threaten to out me. wtf. #also we were hanging out today nd they threatened to stab me jokingly and i joked about calling 911 about being threatened #nd it was literally nothing. even though tihs ended up being a whole fucking fisaco. okay . also i didnt even enjoy hanging out w them #i wanted to be alone. but they were just in my room so i played this very boring for me game w them w playing the first sec of a song #hi. the moral of the story is the post w quotes abt how sibling relationships survive sooo much going around its true but its a negative #why do i deal with this. like spending time w them is sometimes fun but it is nott worth this i think. hi whats wrong w them #<- will prob change my mind on tht later tht post j kinda annoys me. when did we go back to the blood family is the most powerful thing bs #flappy rambles #ask to tag

[spade-club]

Was it really leading you on if I also let you down? Or do you really just hate the idea of me being happy without you? /not at you

#im getting angery about things from almost two years ago again haha oops #but honestly. you cant just fucking traumatize me and expect me not to be pissed??? #just tell me I'm a monster and you hate everything I am. #like. do you know how hard it is to be going through someone sexualizing you constantly no matter how much you ask them to stop #and have your best fucking friend yelling at you because you're such a monster who's going to ruin this poor boy #and have her tell you she tied her self worth to your capacity to like men?? #like. cool. okay. fuck you I guess. #its so bullshit #like. I'll admit I didnt treat her great. i let her believe she had a chance with dating me #when ultimately that was probably never going to happen again #but also like. I just like having close friends I flirt with. thats how I do relationships. and I made that clear. #and I even toned it down and we talked about it all the time #so maybe actually I didnt??? idk #point is its still fucked up that she would honestly tell me how much I suck as a hostile way of attacking me for not dating her #and THEN a few months later managed to get mad at me again for.... being triggered by something she said #so anyway uh. when you have someone in your life and you know how mean they can be #dont tell yourself its okay because they arent hostile to you. they could just as easily be hurting you the moment their rose glasses fall #if you dont want to be on their bad side. do you really want to be on their good side? #sad posting #<- not really but its personal and I'm scatterbrain thinking #soz if it doesnt make a lot of sense I'm. strugglebus #I might try to explain better later because those moments have really lodged their way in my brain and it sucks

[readymades2002]

*ignoring rapidly increasing threat of mental health crisis that makes me unable to function* haha hiiiiiiiiii i love the weekend having so much fun with my time off #FiveOClockSomewhere

#had some things happen today that i am extremely not proud of lol. #and its worse because after that he went i am just glad youre okay. do you want to get dinner with me and my brother #and its. #. #i. have never thought it was normal for people to not resent you and get angry at you when you get out of a crisis #or even when youre just like. doing bad #thats how its always been and he said anyone who would react like that was out of their fucking mind #i do not know how to deal with this i do NOT understand how or why he AND HIS BROTHER?!? did this for me and i #i keep. trying to tell him to get out now because it will only fuck him over later if he gets attached because im not winning this fight #and he won't. and its freaking me the fuck out. i don #i cant do this to him. this is killing me. i am scared to death that he IS going to keep caring #this never ever ends well i have never met someone who didnt walk away from me worse off #there is nothing i can put into the world that will make up for the kindness that has been wasted on me who cannot understand or use it #i dont want that to happen. i dont want this to be happening. i shouldnt have talked to him i should just die in quiet this is #getting out of my control and i am scared.

[hauntingblue]

Now the mugiwaras getting the news....

#why did the dancing monkey after he hits zoro make me laugh... #i am in such a state #perona girl do something #are you still alive?? AHDJAHSJ #oda was in a silly goofy mood when pairing these two up. sauch a comedic genius #mihawk is so funny when you think about it. on his coffin boat with candles and living on his abandoned castle. he is buidling an aesthetic. #he has a brand. with his catholic cross sword(s) #so gothic of him #perona should be proud #CHOPPER BEING THE FIRST #nami too lmao.... zoro didnt find out i guess #IS SANJI GOING TO MEET IVANKOV???? PLEASEEE #sanjis makeup melting off when he reads the news lmao #well thank god mihawk will tell zoro what happened bc he cant read.... #nico robin put this coat on.... that plunge neckline you do whatever you want with that.... HELLO???? #me as all of them worried about luffy. its okay he knows he has you all... but hurry up..... #here starts the robin whitewashing.... #goodbye my beautiful babygirl...... also goodbye my other beautiful babygirl sanji...... #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 506

[cervidsunrise]

.

#op #i cant get rid if this thought so i have to post it but you dont have to read it okay? #one if my first memories is telling my mom i need my diaper changed her ignoring me and then me just changing it myself. #i told her about that once and she denied it happened bc she didnt remember it. #damn i wonder why you wouldnt remember that time you ignored your child. #okay ignored is not the right word bc it implies intention #she straight up just wasnt paying attention #like i tried to get her attention she was like 'okay' and then didnt move #anyway i think that illustrates something about how i was raised yknow?

[hauntedrain]

For Years! | Max Verstappen x Reader |

Social media AU Summary: Max and reader get criticism over the status of their relationship.

✮▹ A/N: So sorry for not posting for so long. Life has been BUSY. but hopefully i can post more and write more! Love you guys <3

✰▹Warnings/Notices: Not edited. nothing really. reader mentioned to write music

Liked by Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, & 3,345,678 others

@Y/N: Lovely time lately.

view all 19,234 comments

user1: LMFAO MAX.

user2: Y/N you'll always been iconic

user3: sometimes I forget Max Verstappen is dating THE Y/N L/N.

↪ user4: SO TRUE. It completely passes my mind that they've been together before he even got to F1.

↪ user5: THEY'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 9 YEARS?

↪ user6: YEA ITS WILD.

↪ user7: wait but they haven't gotten married or anything?

↪ user8: Yea no. They also avoid the questions around it. Kind of weird to me.

↪ user9: But hasn't Y/N written songs about marriage and getting married? Why haven't they?

↪ user10: Maybe they just don't want to. Or max doesn't.

MaxVerstappen: Why did you choose that photo of me.

↪ Y/N: You want me to post the photo from yesterday?

↪ MaxVerstappen: NO.

↪ user11: LMFAO. PARENTS.

Liked by Y/N, Redbull, & 2,345,567 others

@MaxVerstappen: Great race and great win! Getting ready for next week. And thank you to @Y/N for making me but those glasses, best purchase.

View all 14,567 comments

Y/N: I told you they were a good investment

↪ MaxVerstappen: I don't know if you would call it an investment.

↪ Y/N: I'll post that picture.

↪MaxVerstappen: It was a great investment! better than a house!

↪ user12: better than a ring?

↪ user13: STOP. but no fr, wheres the ring Max?

user14: Okay nice win but when yall getting married?

user15: everyone needs to mind their business, maybe they're just not ready to get married and that okay.

↪ user16: But its been 9 YEARS. NINE YEARS. Its a red flag.

liked by 18,234 others

@F1GOSSIP: Max Verstappen and Y/N L/N have been criticized over the status of their relationship. The couple has been together for over 9 years however many fans have realized that there's been no movement in the relationship, family and marriage vise. Thought?

view all 5,567 comments

user17: I mean its their life but 9 years?

user18: Idk guys don't hate me but sometimes max doesn't seem interested in Y/N. Like all of the Monaco GP? seem happy around her.

↪ user19: Bro look at the pictures in the post. Does he seem unhappy in them? No he seems very happy.

↪ user20: Okay but lets be honest. Both only seem that happy in front of a camera.

User21: I mean for some of their relationship they were fairly young. Maybe they just wanna enjoy it little by little.

↪ user22: I think in 9 years you can enjoy a lot.

user23: I wouldn't marry her either. Max knows what's best which is why he hasn't done it.

Y/N has posted to their story!

liked by 6,678,567 others

@MaxVerstappen: happy 3 year anniversary @Y/N. love you much and cant wait for years to come. Also, people said I hated her? How could I?

view all 35,567,878 comments

Y/N: Guys my husband is kinda cool.

↪ MaxVerstappen: Kinda?

↪ Y/N: yea cuz im cooler than you.

↪ MaxVerstappen: Okay love.

user24: WTF 3 YEARS?

user25: max said hold my 3x WDC titles while I make everyone shut up about my relationship.

↪ Y/N: He just wins everything doesn't he?

↪ CharlesLeclerc: Yea its kinda annoying. you should distract him Y/N

↪ MaxVerstappen: Dont tell my wife to distract me, I'll lose.

↪ CharlesLeclerc: thats the point.

↪ LandoNorris: I just wanna win.

↪ user26: LMFAO WHAT IS HAPPENING

↪ Y/N: Im collecting them all

User27: And people said max didnt wanna marry her.

user28: Bro just keeps winning doesnt he. Y/N GIVE ME A CHANCE.

user29: if you look closely you can see me getting run over by an F1 car.

⭒❃.✮:▹A/N: I hope you guys like it! I need to post more but ive gotten so busy and haven't had the time. But I'll try to post more often. Love you guys! hope you enjoyed.

#f1 #f1 fandom #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #formula 1 #formula one fanfiction #charles leclerc #f1 x reader #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x you #formula one x you #formula one #formula one x reader #one shot #my fic #fic rec #charles and max #lando norris #oneshot

[privitivium]

would you do a pathetic loser character x yandere jock reader?

fuck yeah bro. ts got me all excited KEKEKRK.. this is one of my favorites. thanks anon.

pathetic loser darling x yandere jock reader

both amab, cw;; creepy, perverted reader - dubcon, stalking, disturbing reader

dude... you just couldnt help yourself. youre serious! you had no control of your thoughts. it was so awful at first... forming a little crush on some guy you have no business having a crush on-? as a jock type, youre automatically to fall for some girlㅡsome cheerleader, or even some loser - but not some loser ass introvert... yet there you were... jerking off to polaroids of him in the comfort of your huge bed - moaning n groaning out his name and imagining his smaller hands wrapped around your dick instead of your ownㅡhe's so cute, so pretty, so lovely -

you cant wait to see him tomorrow... following from afar from his home that was so conveniently close to yours... you wonder why you havent made your move yet - but it takes time, alright ?!!! you want him to be comfortable around you first... brushing against him in the halls and offering small apologies - grinning wildly as he squeaks n runs off blushing with an apology of his own... so cute. so fucking cute... you,,,youjust cant stop imagining those lips wrapped around your cock... hes soprettyy... soon, you'll be friends... then best friends... then l-loversㅡ

thinking about this fucking nerd in all sorts of disgusting ways - merely passing him in the halls and never communicating or anything! it hurt so bad... it was just so painful to be away from this little freak... this fucking outcast. one of those loser nerd types, fitting right into the teen movie archetype of a nerd with those fucking glasses ( of course ) and nose length hair tucked behind his ears - he was just so pretty... so dainty, almost. those lips - thick and full and just great makeout material... sucking on them til they were dark n bruised and even bloodied-!! fuck he'd look so good with blood dribbling down his chin... there you were, there you would be, lapping it up and peppering kisses around his mouth all teasingly - dont-! don't. get distracted. dont... fucking get hard... think... gross things...

b-but... your cock argues with your thought process, prick bulging from your jeans and you feel so embarrassed... this always happens ! you get distracted while observing your little freak in his equally little place of comfort - back of the campus, where a forest resided, you were watching him from afar; as always... observing is allㅡyou were his secret protector. shoving away the notorious little groups of friends known for fucking with those weaker - making sure to beat the piss out of them and tell them sternly to keep away from your little crush... you didnt want someone to harm him - but it was okay if that someone was you. fantasizing and jerking your cock to the thought of restraining him and verbally destroying his smart lil mind - but obviously, making sure to cheer him right up afterwards. you were big on aftercare in your daydreams...

oh, god... and finally having him in your grasp,,, making him vulnerable and him having to rely on you as you keep him in your huge place... it was out of no where and you clearly couldnt stick to the plan of friends, best friends, and lovers - that theres your boyfriend and you were sick of him not acknowledging that-! "hey, hey, it's okay..." you coo gently, snickering to yourself at the mess your boyfriend makes of himself - sobbing in your thick burly arms and squirming so much that you involuntarily get hard - "you're alright, silly... i have you."

ㅡbut yes, that was the problem... you had him. he couldnt think on whether or not to be actually scared out of his wits or nuzzle into the warmth your chest emanated, he did have a crush on you but he thinks youre taking this t-too farㅡ "it's huge, isn't it? you'll be okay, i promise..." nuzzling into the side of his head after guiding his hand to your weeping cock, the euphoric feeling of his hand shakily wrapping around the base - he was still sniffling... whispering to him, "you be okay, hnn? don't grab too hard, i'll have to do something to you..." not elaborating on your last sentence... the thought of having to hurt him just because he hurt you first made your heart clench,,,

#yandere reader #jock reader #x male reader #male reader #top male reader #x top male reader #dom male reader #x dom male reader #sub male character #bottom male character #uke male character

[i-cant-sing]

Hmmm I could get tired over any fandom but.... batfam???? Yall would never see me tired of talking about them.

Like think just how absolutely batshit crazy they'd go if reader fractures her limb or something. Maybe reader like slips off the stairs or falls from a swing or something, and the batfam- they have to watch it all happen in slow motion, and nothing- there's absolutely nothing they can do to help you. It's scarring for Dick to watch the color drain from your face as you drip to the ground. It's scarring for Jason to hear the nasty crack as your bone bends in an ugly handle. It's scarring for Tim to hear you scream in pain. It's scarring for Damian to see the blood pour out of your body. And it's oh so heart wrenching for Bruce to hear you cry into his chest as he carries you to Alfred to get your cast done.... how hopeless he felt, unable to soothe your pain.

But things only seem to go even more downhill from there. As you recover, the family has silently decided to double down on their paranoia and be even more coddling and protective of you. You wanna walk down the stairs? Nope, here comes big bro Jason to hold your hand- or better yet, carry you around in his arms. Why risk you even tripping over air?

Wanna get something from the top shelf? Stand back, dont need the shelf or something heavy falling over your head and cracking your skull open. Let Dick pull the cookie jar down for you- but why are you even eating cookies this late???? You need to get some healthy nutrients in you, lest you should have weak frail bones. Heres your broccoli.

Wanna play video games or go on socials? Well, no more! Dont need you getting influenced by the violent storylines and bad news from around the world- Tim wouldnt your mental health to be affected. If you really want, you can use his laptop... under his supervision.

What the fuck do you think youre doing staying up past your bedtime? What do you mean youre too old to have a bedtime???? Get your ass back in bed before Damian drags you back like a gremlin and REMINDS you of the bedtime he has set for YOU, because he doesnt need you becoming an insomniac and turning insane. He will not be the one to bust you out of Arkham asylum (he absolutely would, but hed be complaining all the way) just because you decided you didnt need your 10 hours of sleep!

Wanna go to your therapist? Well, you cant cause he suddenly moved far away and every other therapist in gotham is a maniac in disguise. Bruce doesnt get why you cant just talk to him about your feelings??? Dont you trust him? Your dear father, the very man whod hold you in his arms and shield you from the scary lightening when you were young? The very man who you would ramble on to about everything and anything, including tattling on Damian locking you in his room and throwing a tantrum when Jason took you away when you were all kids? You can tell him anything sweetie, even if you wanna bitch about the batfam... it'll hurt a bit, but hed be okay (absolutely has big sad eyes when you tell him how everyones just too suffocating for you and you wanna leave them)

#yandere batfam #yandere batfam x reader #yandere batman #yandere batboys #yandere bruce wayne #yandere damian wayne #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake

[mangosrar]

cerebral

matt sturniolo x fem reader

this isn’t proof read 😛😛

suggestive ???

i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.

it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.

lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.

"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.

"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.

"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.

"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.

"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.

"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.

"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.

"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.

"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.

before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.

he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.

"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.

"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.

"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.

"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.

"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.

the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.

make up sex is good for the soul.

pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

#mango talks #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #smut #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo blurb #chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo oneshot #christopher owen sturniolo #sturniolo edit #my stuff #boyfriend texts #s #Spotify

[spade-club]

Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)

(I found this and thought I might as well do this to help myself with denial later!! obvious abuse tw!! also I have a lot of stuff that came from outside the house too, but this is like. parent stuff yeah idk!!)

Physical abuse

parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson

parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good

parent pulled on my hair to force me to move

parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me

parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them

parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them

parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body

parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them

parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping

parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life

parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries

parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say

parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat

parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me

parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture

parent forced me into sexual activities

Emotional abuse

parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once

parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice

parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun

parent insulted and devalued something really important to me

parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me

parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once

parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault

parent shamed me for my physical appearance

parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough

parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all

parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults

parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort

parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms

parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness

parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter

parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal

parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst

parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them

parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away

parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change

parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change (gender but same deal)

parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation

parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy

parent assured me that nobody will ever want me

parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse

parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker

parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”

parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time

parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries

parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge

parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence

parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me

Psychological Abuse

parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything

parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks

parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start

parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy

parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument

parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it

parent threatened to leave me

parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did

parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions

parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation

parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof

parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me

parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did

Neglect

parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly

parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick

parent didn’t notice I was injured

parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school

parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma

parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed

parent didn’t notice I was depressed

parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself

parent didn’t notice I was suicidal

parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused

parent didn’t notice I was being bullied

parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed

parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care

parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive (hardly even that)

when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it

Financial Abuse

parent made me feel ashamed for needing money

parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them

parent only gave me minimal money to survive

parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me

parent took the money I earned from me

parent used the money to blackmail me

parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions

parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything

parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves

parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not

parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity

parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age

parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them

#oh man uh. hm. #literally im not kidding TODAY my parents told me I had it so easy compared to them #like. okay. you didnt hit me #congrats on that im sure that was so hard for you?? but like. that doesnt erase the everything else. #they literally started talking about the abuse they went through as kids and I was just like. I cant participate in this conversation. #and then my dad said its because I had it easier and im like. yeah sure well pretend thats why haha #anyway thank you emotional amnesia for allowing me to do this post easily. you suck but ily xx #also there was nothing for *dragging me through the house to get me to do what they wanted* but thats okay ig #also idk what forcefully undressing me and shoving me into shower classifies as either #so like. yk. there is some physical stuff too its just idk what to call either of those #oh also for the food one its bc I was allergic to the stuff they were feeding me and I told them that but they didnt listen!! #so pretty epic double whammy there #OH AND my mom would tell me after every fight *you better not be telling people about this* #to the point that I stopped telling people because I was scared she would find it and freak out #alsoalso the only reason she knew I was sh-ing was because she read my texts and then she demanded me to tell her everything about it #so she could *help me* or whatever. and then she promptly never brought it up again as if it never happened #so a lot of weird as fuck shit idk #also the way she checked my texts to make sure I was okay but didnt notice me being groomed online lol #and instead just taunted me about the crush I had that she found out about through that. fucking. okay. #okay thats enough oversharing I will just hit post now hehe