Avoid. (x.t)
Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Reader
Summary: blurb! after thinking about something bianca said to you a few days ago, you started to create a small distance from your boyfriend. which of course he noticed.
Warnings: established relationship, self-doubt, the smallest bit of angst, fluff ending
a/n: okay, so i ended up not reading my textbook, and worked on other things instead... but anyways enough about that just remember you are always more than enough<3
masterlist
“You look awfully lonely,” a voice said from beside you. "You mind if I join?"
Your gaze moved from the pavement to a pair of green eyes that you knew far too well.
“I was enjoying a moment of peace actually,” you responded to the boy before you continued to look ahead at the path in front of you that led into the city.
“Moment of peace or are you avoiding me?” Xavier countered with his eyebrows raised giving you a knowing look.
“No, I definitely think it was for a moment of peace,” you replied pausing for a second. “From you…”
“I KNEW IT!”
“You don’t have to be so loud, it’s only us,” you laughed at the boy’s reaction.
“Wait. Why have you been avoiding me? You haven’t even responded to my texts earlier,” Xavier asked with a worried tone.
“I ran into someone a few days ago, and they made me realized something,” you answered wanting to move on from the topic.
“And what did they make you realized?”
“That I shouldn’t get to attached.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard,” Xavier uttered.
“Xavier, it’s nothing personal,” you lied. “I don’t want to hold you back.”
What really happened was a few days ago Bianca came up to you sprouting thoughts of doubt about your relationship with Xavier throughout your mind. She talked about how this was only temporary for him until he would eventually get bored and come back to her. You knew that wouldn’t actually happen, but it didn’t stop you from creating more distance between you and Xavier for the past few days.
“I think you ignoring me is definitely personal,” he scoffed. “Y/n, it takes two people to be in a relationship.”
“Which two people,” you said under your breathe though he was still able to pick up what you whispered.
“No, seriously, what is your problem with me right now?”
“Why don’t you ask her?” you snapped quickening your pace to walk ahead of him. “You always go back to her don’t you?”
“Who?” Xavier asked in the most utter confusion.
“Bianca.”
“Why would I go back to her? I have you.”
“What if I not enough?” you blurted out stopping in your tracks to turn around and face him.
“You are more enough. You’re all I need,” Xavier walked closer to you.
“I-”
“You are the only person that I want,” he wrapped his arms around you allowing you to lean your head against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized.
“No, you have nothing to be sorry for.”
“No, I do. I shouldn’t have let Bianca have that much power over our relationship,” you admitted. “I was just scared that what if you got bored with being with me?”
“How could I ever get bored? I could stare at you for hours,” he laughed.
“You’re only saying that because you need a model to draw,” you pushed him away laughing.
“I don’t need a model if you’re my muse,” he joked.
“Maybe I was right for avoiding you.” you said walking faster to the city.
“Wait! Hey! NO MORE AVOIDING.”
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hey babes but could u write peeta and reader comforting eachother after they took down snow and everything back in 12 xx
—cw: unedited, depression, after war effects, injuries, angst/comfort trope, crying and kissing
—a/n: i hope you enjoyed!!! pls reblog/comment to show ur support :)
Y/N WAS IN DISBELIEF. It was all over, everything was over. They succeeded, they won. But they still felt the same; alert, scared, broken. Y/N thought that when they won, they would be able to finally feel good again. They were still hurting.
Y/N was sitting in the hospital bed, sitting up as the nurses helped them with their injuries. There were burns and cuts everywhere, the nurses kept putting oils and stitches, and it stung but Y/N couldn't even flinch. The pain couldn't compare to what they were feeling inside.
After they left, Y/N was left alone with their thoughts and they couldn't bare that. They put on the slippers that were left at the edge of the bed and they walked through the halls. They were empty since it was late. They soon went back to their room and jumped slightly, seeing someone sitting at their bed.
Y/N relaxed seeing it was just their friend, Peeta Mellark. Peeta turned around, looking at Y/N.
"How are you feeling?" Peeta spoke out, his voice hoarse. Y/N shrugged, not sure exactly how they were feeling. They know what they should be feeling; joy, happiness, accomplished. But all they felt was grief and heartache.
"Not sure. You?"
"Me too."
There was calm silence. Y/N has known Peeta for a long time; she was his Gale. They've been friends for years, ever since they were kids. Y/N was his happiness and light, even after the games. They were his only source of genuine comfort. Even after the capitol captured him, no matter what they did, they could never take away how he felt about Y/N.
They both knew they didn't need to talk, but they were there if they needed to. Peeta slid his hand into their's, wrapping their fingers together and squeezing them.
Y/N sighed out loud, looking down at their lap. "I-I know what I'm supposed to be feeling. But I just don't... feel it."
Peeta nodded. "I don't we're able to. Not after what we've seen."
There was more silence before Peeta spoke again, "people died. A lot of them. Kids, elders. And I feel guilty. Shouldn't we have protected them?"
Y/N looked over at her best friend, sudden rage filling her system. She let go of his hand, grabbing his face. "Don't you dare say that. Don't- You shouldn't feel guilty, Peeta. You're just 18, you can't expect to save everyone. You tried, okay? We tried and we won."
Peeta's eyes started to water, sniffing. "But the kids, Prim-"
"We couldn't do anything, Peeta." Y/N's heart broke in half, her stomach filling with sickness. She felt exactly the way he was, but he didn't deserve it. "Peeta, my god. I am so sorry, I wish I could take away every piece of your pain and put into me. You don't deserve it."
Peeta let out a cry, pulling into Y/N and putting his head into their shoulder. Y/N put their hand on his back, drawing circles.
He cried for a while before he stopped and Y/N let him sit. "I feel broken beyond repair. I can't sleep and I can't stand being awake with my thoughts. It's a nightmare. I don't think I'll ever be okay."
"We will, Peeta. We will always be okay. You don't have to go through this alone, I'll always be here and I promise you, the pain will fade with time." Y/N spoke calmly, still holding onto him.
"None of this is your fault, Peeta. You saved everyone. No matter what you think, you're a savior. The voice in your head, that's telling you all these lies, isn't real. You're strong and amazing."
Peeta sniffled and nodded, trying to process what Y/N was saying.
"It's all okay now, I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore, I promise." Y/N was trying to believe what they were saying, as well. Peeta let go of Y/N, looking into their eyes as Y/N wiped his tears.
He slowly leaned in, placing a small kiss on Y/N's lips. They were tense at first, but quickly warming up to his lips. Peeta pulled away, looking at Y/N. They grabbed his hand, and leaned in again for a more passionate kiss.
They pulled away, their foreheads still connecting as they looked into each other's eyes, finding comfort in each other after years of torment.
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Maybe that Mario & Luigi warping footage has driven me mad and now I'm just terminally stuck on MAXIMUM BROTHERLY ANGST but the fact that the Mario movie seems willing to go to a very emotional and sweet place with their relationship is killing me!!! Here are some Mario and Luigi-specific theories/possible moments I've been thinking about for the movie, all nicely compiled (and not just tossed into other people's inboxes, haha) - maybe they'll happen in some way, maybe they won't, but if they DO, oh man, I will be a puddle of goo in the movie theater they'll have to sweep up afterwards:
Mario opening up to Peach and Toad about Luigi, what their life was like in the past, their closeness, and his fears/anxieties about the possibility of not being able to save his brother (some version of this seems EXTREMELY likely in the fire flower scene) (and likewise, Luigi talking to his fellow prisoners about Mario and how much he misses his brother!)
Both brothers taking moments throughout the movie to think of each other and draw inner strength/resolve from that - for instance, Mario struggling with his training, feeling exhausted and hopeless, but thinking of Luigi in danger and how much his brother needs him and that giving him the burst of strength and determination he needs to finally complete the course
LIKEWISE, Luigi panicking or struggling to act in his scary predicaments but thinking of Mario and what he would do/say in situations like this and being able to keep going/stay brave because of that memory
BOWSER FIGURING OUT THE RELATION AND USING LUIGI AGAINST MARIO AT A CRITICAL MOMENT??? (I'm sorry, but it feels like the interrogation stuff has to lead SOMEWHERE) (Bowser clearly is looking for info/weak points he can use against Mario, and Luigi himself ultimately IS that weak point!!!)
This could play out in a lot of different ways - using an in-danger Luigi as bait for a trap, maybe there's some Magic Shenanigans where Kamek throws Luigi's voice to lure Mario away from the group during a battle, or maybe Bowser just taunts Mario about his brother and how Mario's too weak to save him from the torture he's endured/will endure. Whatever the case is, Mario's anger and Ultra Big Brother Instincts overriding all other common sense could cause him to act too rashly or make some serious mistakes in the heat of the moment. :(
Either brother thinking that the other is dead for any period of time and just being BROKEN but also FULL OF FIERY VENGEANCE because of it!!! I know, I know, put me in Angst Jail but Mario could get blown off Rainbow Road and presumed dead for a little while, which could get back to Luigi through Bowser or his minions, OR maybe Luigi escapes but Bowser lies to Mario and tells that he disposed of his brother already and he's too late. I could just see both of them breaking down at first but ultimately being ANGRY above all else and resolving to avenge the other, no matter what ;___; (and this would also make their eventual reunion even MORE emotional and impactful)
Speaking of, the brothers reuniting with the BIGGEST, MOST DESPERATE, CLINGING HUG YOU'VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE (this is truly all I care about, I just need the movie to get this right, PLEASE)
Bonus points if there's a big lead-up to it where they maybe they just hear each other at first, or they see one another from a far-away distance and they're just RUNNING and FIGHTING and SCRAMBLING to reach each other, calling out all the while, to the point that they can't even stop, they just TACKLE each other at full speed
(They've never been apart this long before! Ever since they can remember, they've been joined at the hip, and this whole time, it's felt like they were missing a limb, but now THEY'RE BOTH HERE and THEY'RE OKAY and there's a lot of fussing over injuries and frantic questions and THE BIGGEST, TEARIEST SMILES EVER and it finally feels like everything's really gonna be okay, even though there might still be an ongoing invasion/final battle to take care of)
After reuniting, there being a situation where they need to split up again temporarily to accomplish different goals in the name of stopping Bowser and Mario is actually the more anxious one for once who really doesn't want to let Luigi out of his sight after they've just found each other again, but Luigi takes a turn reassuring him that it's gonna be okay (and Mario is quietly impressed by how his brother seems a little braver after his ordeal)
ALSO after reuniting, there being a moment before the final battle with Bowser where Mario is self-doubting and isn't sure he can win, but Luigi doesn't understand that because ever since they were little and dealing with playground bullies, he's ALWAYS thought of Mario as a hero - this new role just fits him so well, at least in Luigi's eyes, and he knows that Mario can do this (I KNOW, I KNOW, A LITTLE CHEESY, but!! i just love the idea of Luigi hearing about/seeing his brother as The Hero and being like "yep, my big bro IS amazing and brave and the absolute best, this makes sense!")
At any point, Mario actually seeing Bowser hurt/threaten Luigi and just going ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC because of it. RIP BOWSER, YA IDIOT
Possibly related to the above, but it feels like a pretty sure thing that the final battle has to be Bowser VS Mario all the way, that's how so many games end, but! I do think Luigi could provide important assistance at one or two moments. Like maybe Bowser is startling to struggle and goes for the power star, but Luigi has already beaten him to it and manages to throw it to Mario before Bowser reaches him - but then he gets STRUCK HARD or even knocked out by Bowser and Mario's anguished reaction sets off the star's power! (I did see that somewhere else, not my original idea - the concept that the star can only be activated by an intense, pure-hearted emotion - but I love it <3)
That's all I got for now - again, even a FRACTION of these happening would be officially Too Much for my little, feeble heart. I'm just so grateful that from everything we've seen so far, the movie really does seem to be centering the brothers' relationship (even if they're not physically together for most of it) and how much they mean to each other and that is everything!
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Cruel Summer - Part 16
First - Previous - Next
pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
summary: After breaking up, you and Eddie do your best to soldier on with your lives, but you slowly begin to discover that there is a stronger line of connection keeping you together than just history…
word count: 9.5k
warnings: angst, swearing, horror descriptors, TW: violence/blood, major character death (f o r g i v e m e)
A.N.: here we go kids...
Eddie lies to himself that he knows what he’s doing, that this is all still part of the plan, and that things are not as well and truly fucked as they actually are.
A bigger part of him than he is willing to acknowledge is screaming at him to turn back, to do the smart thing for once, and save his miserable hide, but there is only one clear path for him, as suicidal as it may be.
You’d told him this wasn’t the type of thing he was going to be able to save you from if things took a turn for the worse, and part of him agreed with you – that’s the part of him that he’s imagining is ringing the alarm bells right now, but self-preservation be damned, he’s never been the kind of person to make “smart choices” and he’s not about to start now.
He’s going to get you out of here and back through to the other side, even if it kills him.
The bats are stuck to the outside of the trailer like so many screeching winged barnacles when Eddie bursts through the door, flying down the steps and across the lawn toward where the Wheeler’s bikes are still laying in a jumble on the front lawn.
It’s something that on the other side of the world would be so banal – the indication of a gathering of friends, everyone piled into someone’s living room to play Atari or watch tv, the tell-tale sign of a camaraderie that Eddie has been denied his whole life.
Here and now, it’s just a means to an end. When he gets the bike, he’ll whip out to the highway where the van is parked on the shoulder, where you’ll be tucked safely away, waiting for him, despite how the horrendous cacophony they’d sat listening to tells him otherwise.
He tells himself you’re going to be there because you have to be. You’ll be there and you’ll be okay, you’re going to make it through this no matter what.
No matter what.
He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do once he finds you, but that’s not important right now. Right now, he’s just got to get to the bikes in one piece.
Eddie was never really the kind of kid who rode bikes.
He was the kid who sat in his room all summer, teaching himself to play guitar, teaching himself to draw, trying to mold himself into the type of person he thought the kids on his block would want to be friends with, not the shape of the social pariah they were steadily forcing him into.
Eddie wasn’t the kind of kid who rode bikes growing up because, beyond the fact that all the other kids in his neighborhood went around treating him like he was diseased, he didn’t learn how to ride one until he was ten years old, which had been a starkly humiliating experience he doesn’t relish in reliving.
The wheels feel shaky and untrustworthy as Eddie pulls the bike up and swings his leg over, but sticky pedals and screeching gears are nothing compared to the cloud of teeth whirling overhead in a morbid murmuration.
He tries not to think about that or scraped knees and elbows as he wipes at the blood still oozing from the gash in his forehead – it stings unpleasantly as the motion pulls at the torn flesh there.
Eddie didn’t feel the bat’s teeth when they pierced his flesh, but he sure as hell felt them scrape along the ridge of his skull – worse than that, he heard it. He knows he’s going to need stitches, that it’s gonna leave a scar and he’s gonna have to grow his hair longer to cover it up – he doesn’t have time to be worried about that, because the bats were always going to get through into the trailer.
The same old fatalist part of himself he’s never been able to tune out always knew that the same way it always knew you were going to end up in the van – always expect the worst to happen and you’ll never be disappointed when it does.
Still, he’s bleeding a lot, and he knows he should probably be concerned about that, but if there’s one useless thing Eddie learned in the brief time Al Munson spent single parenting him – and most everything he ever learned from that man has been more or less useless – it’s that “head wounds bleed,”. He’d told him as much in a rare moment of fatherly clarity while tending to his cuts and bruises after breaking up a fight between Eddie and another boy.
It made him angry at the time, mostly because there was never a time in those handful of years when he wasn’t violently angry at his father, and any advice he was sure to give him was tantamount to bullshit, but here and now that almost seems like wisdom.
Maybe it’s because he’s scared shitless and ever so slightly concussed, but Eddie repeats the words like a mantra as he drops down over a curb and pedals like a shaky, uncoordinated madman.
He pedals and tries not to become overwhelmed with the sudden memory of flowery training wheels and iridescent tassels and the monstrously pink bicycle his mother had borrowed from their six-year-old neighbor in an effort to teach him to ride that Saturday afternoon in the spring of ‘76, when his reputation went it’s grave.
Word travels fast in Hawkins, and by 2 pm that day, all the neighborhood boys had turned out to watch Eddie Munson attempt to ride a little girl’s bike with his mother tailing after him, fruitlessly shouting instructions on how not to crash.
Easier said than done — that endeavor cost him two teeth and what meager savings they had in dentist’s bills.
Two years later, she was dead, and those same shitty boys took advantage of the open wound of Eddie’s grief, luring him out of the house with the promise of the summertime camaraderie he so desired.
Naturally, it was nothing but a great big joke to them, and it ended spectacularly with the lot of them riding out to the plant to throw things into the industrial crusher – rocks, cans, a basketball one of them had managed to balance on their handlebars the whole way, and Eddie’s bike – the one he’d received for his birthday only a few months earlier.
It was a rusty old Schwinn that Wayne had paid twenty bucks for at a garage sale in Bloomington, and decidedly uncool compared to the tricked-out BMX bikes all the other boys rode, but that didn’t make it hurt any less to lose it.
Eddie vividly remembers the sickening sensation that settled over him as he stood there, helplessly watching the angry metal teeth crunch the last of its spokes into oblivion – his prized possession, gone in one instant of shocking violence.
Of course, looking back now, it’s painfully obvious that this was those boys’ intention all along, to take something precious from him, scare him, and force him further from their ranks into the fringes where he exists now.
Eddie doesn’t last long on the bike before one of the bats kamikazes itself in the spokes, sending him flipping headfirst over the handlebars. He lands hard on his shoulder and feels something pop – that’s never a good sign – but he doesn’t stay down, because he’s got seconds before the bats descend, and he’s not sure you have even that much time.
Eddie runs the rest of the way, quickly shucking off his spear and shield because it’s hard enough to run in combat boots when you haven’t been chain-smoking since you were fourteen, and they’re only slowing him down.
He’ll worry about protecting himself later, right now he needs all the help and speed he can get.
That night, after losing his bike to the crusher, Eddie lay in bed crying an endless tide of silent tears over it. Little pearls of young desperation streaked down into his ears as he did his best to stifle his sniffles – not because of the loss of the bike or the hell he caught over it when he ended up having to call his father to come and pick him up, or even because he had been stupid enough to think those boys really wanted to be friends with him.
It was because he had nothing, and somehow, they still managed to take something from him.
Eddie’s never had a lot of things that are expressly his, and what he does have he’s had to work for. A helluva lot of blood sweat and tears earned him the van, his guitar, and you – the van is gone, Sweetheart too for all he knows, but you…?
He’s not going to let this place take you from him, not while he’s still standing.
Eddie crashes through the trees and into the underbrush, not giving a damn where he sets his feet down or whether Vecna knows he’s there — because if the Dark Lord Fucker isn’t wise to something funky going on in his domain by now, then they’ve got bigger problems than the bats or the hivemind.
These woods feel different, darker, denser — dangerous. It’s not the same as they were when he was walking along, having his silly little heart-to-heart with Steve.
Maybe it’s because this is a different patch of woodland, or maybe just because the urgency to get through them is through the roof, but it leaves him feeling like he’s running in place, treading water, that the road is getting further away with every step he takes and he’s never going to make it to you.
Eddie’s always been decent with direction – living your whole life in the same town comes with the benefit of basically always knowing where you are but crashing through the woods like this, he’s operating on dead reckoning. He’s running on a hope and prayer, which is a dangerous game considering that God’s never liked him much.
He runs until he begins to feel a deep and existential paranoia that he’s gone too far, or worse, that he’s headed in the wrong direction. It causes his inner compass to spin erratically with woeful doubt, and just as he starts to ask himself whether he ought to double back, the trees break, and there stands that same lonely stretch of road, sky wheeling overhead.
Everything is more or less exactly as it had been back on the other side, including the stark absence of the van.
Eddie’s heart drops into his ass as he comes to a skidding halt on the cracked and ruined asphalt.
He spins in wild desperate circles looking for any sign of what happened here, where you could have possibly gone, because it’s not that the van is missing altogether — there is in fact a great deal of evidence scattered across the road to suggest that, up until very recently, it was exactly where he’d left it in November of 1983 when time came to a screeching halt.
That evidence comes in the form of broken glass, smashed vines and debris, bits of twitching little bodies, since crushed and torn asunder beneath the mass of something roughly the size of an eight-thousand-pound Chevrolet Beauville Sportvan.
Somehow, that is worse than if it had never been here in the first place, because of what it suggests: that you ran for safety only to find yourself headed straight for a metal death trap.
It makes his blood run cold.
The debris trails heavily across the road, easily followed from one side to the other, over the asphalt, through the trees, and down a steep embankment.
There at the bottom lies the van, crushed and misshapen on its side, spattered in the results of its quick and violent departure from the road.
Eddie feels his legs go wobbly and his guts seize as a cold sweat breaks out across his brow. Suddenly he’s torn between hoping with every fiber of his being that you aren’t inside and praying irrationally to any deity who might be listening that you’re down there.
He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do if you’re not — he can’t imagine trailing back to the gate empty-handed.
If you’re not down there, he’s not leaving this place until he finds you, that’s for damn sure.
Slowly, a sound reaches him and Eddie realizes with a start that he can hear something coming from the van – the faint and broken tinge of a voice, someone calling out.
He slips and stumbles in the underbrush as he goes down the embankment at a pace, following the path the van carved into the earth when it evidently rolled.
The windows are all blown out, and in their absence, the voice continues to eke out into the still, heady air, growing louder as Eddie gets closer.
It’s something out of a recurring nightmare he thinks he’s had, some variation of you being thrust into a terrible danger he’s powerless to save you from — it feels like losing you at a party in a sea of people who have nothing but the worst intentions for him — for you.
Eddie shouts your name on instinct, cringing at the sound of his own desperate voice bouncing back at him – and then, terrifyingly, something mimics him, and shouts your name right back, crunchy and chewed up through static, like a voice being fed through a paper shredder.
It doesn’t take him long to recognize it.
It’s Dustin, calling you over the walkie-talkie, desperately crying your name and trying to get you to answer him.
“—Eddie didn’t follow me through the gate!” He wails, speaking so quickly and frantically Eddie can barely understand him, “H-he cut the rope – I don’t know where he’s going! Oh, God, oh, Jesus! – If you’re there, pick up! Please–”
Little fucking narc. Eddie thinks, gritting his teeth against the twinge of annoyance that blooms in him over being told on.
He swallows the feeling in favor of shouting your name again, long and loud, stretching it almost past the point of recognition.
This time, you answer.
“...I’m here…” You call weakly from somewhere behind him – inside the van, Eddie realizes with a start.
He can’t decide if he’s relieved, considering how weak the sound is.
He’s at the back doors before you finish speaking, and his heart jumps up into his throat when no amount of tugging garners any sort of movement, smashed and bent out of shape as the doors are.
Even pulling as hard as he can, Eddie can’t get them to budge.
It takes him far too long to remember that the doors at the back are not the only point of entry to the vehicle, and when he does, he scrambles around to the side, heart spasming erratically against his ribs as you call out to him again.
Your voice is tiny and fragile, and suddenly you sound like you’re about to break into a hundred tiny pieces.
“Eddie…?”
“I’m coming!” He chokes, bracing himself on his hands to hoist up onto the side of the van tilted up to the sky.
He tries to think light thoughts as he sits on his toes, perched on the runner and fumbling with the handle of the side panel door.
“I’m coming, Baby, just – just gimme a second to get this door–”
He tugs on it with the same force he’d exerted to no use at the back and cuts himself off with a startled yelp as it slides open with no resistance. Eddie very nearly topples over backward into the dirt, narrowly avoiding the door as it snaps off its hinges and whips past him, crashing down into the underbrush with a thunderous cacophony.
He grits his teeth against the sound and watches as it bounces and rolls off to disappear into the brush with a heavy thud.
Something is bound to have heard that, and if he wasn’t on a ticking clock before, he certainly is now. He’s got to get you and get out of here, figure out what his next move is before anything can come circling back around to finish the job.
When Eddie turns his attention back to the belly of the van, there you are, pushing up from where you lay on your side in a bed of broken glass and twisted metal – he’s never been happier to see you, considering the circumstances.
He drops down into the carcass of the van and lands beside you as softly as he can manage in steel-toed combat boots.
“Hey–” Eddie says, resting a tentative hand on your hip as you push up from the crumpled heap you’re lying in. “Baby... Sweetheart, are you okay? Come on, talk to me.”
You shake your head like you’re trying to clear a fog that has descended over your senses and press the heel of your palm against your forehead, making a pitiful sound as you do.
“Okay – I changed my mind,” You groan. “I don’t wanna be bait anymore.”
His hands migrate up to brace against your arms, trying in vain to steady you as you rock back into a seated position. You suck in a sharp breath and hold it, eyes screwed shut as you work through something – pain? Confusion? He can’t tell, and he can’t express how much that scares him.
“So, I guess this is the part where you tell me you told me so,”
Eddie surprises himself by laughing – a short wet bark that is just a little too loud in this enclosed space.
“You bet your ass I did.” He says, trying his best to sound easy, like maybe if he can laugh about this it won’t seem so bad.
It’s your turn to laugh then, a shaky exhale through the nose tinged ever so slightly with your typical mirth. And then you just sit there for a long moment, breathing in, breathing out, like you’re trying to center yourself or come back to yourself, or something, before you finally heave a sigh.
It takes you a moment longer to open your eyes, and when you do, your gaze flits up to meet his.
Your eyes immediately go wide, and it’s only then that Eddie remembers he doesn’t look so hot himself.
“Eddie – Oh, my God!” You gasp, reaching up to push his bandana back. “What happened?”
The material shifts with a gritty drag that sends a shiver of discomfort rocking through Eddie’s body.
“Nah, I’m okay.” Eddie says quickly, catching your hand and squeezing your fingers in a way he hopes is reassuring, “You oughta see the other guy.”
Then, just to show you it’s okay, he wipes the back of his hand across the cut on his forehead, growing sticky as the blood finally begins to coagulate. Eddie’s not willing to admit that he’s relieved about that, or that he’d seriously started to worry that these bats have some kind of anticoagulant in their saliva, like normal vampire bats only turned up to eleven.
How stupid would it have been to bleed out before he could even get you out of here?
You eye him warily, seemingly unsatisfied with the display, but unwilling to argue.
“Come on, we gotta get out of here – can you stand, Sweetheart?”
“I think so…” You say, bracing yourself against the way Eddie snakes his hands under your arms and gently eases you up onto your feet. “Ah– shit!”
You flinch and tense under his touch, causing Eddie’s insides to tighten with the fear of hurting you. He has to remind himself not to immediately release you, lest he drop you back among the broken glass and debris.
“Sorry!” Eddie says immediately, but you’re already shaking your head, refusing any sort of apology he might offer.
He knows he ought to be treating you with kid gloves especially if you were in this thing when it crashed and rolled like he highly suspects you were. He doesn’t know what's wrong with you, where you’re hurt, and he doesn't want to do something to inadvertently make a bad situation worse.
“What hurts, Babes? Your arm? Your ribs…?”
“My leg.” You hiss, craning your neck to look down at the thing – Eddie follows your gaze and notices the blood too late.
Big thick rivulets of it, streaking down to slick the inside of your thighs a bright and sticky crimson. It’s a lot of blood – too much blood, he might say if he was allowing himself to think about that, which he isn’t. Still, it takes him a panicky moment to find the source of the bleeding, and when he does his breath catches in his throat.
There, tied off around your upper thigh, is what he can only imagine is a piece of your shirt, torn off and fashioned into a tourniquet. The flesh below it is split into a long, jagged slice, lazily oozing over the expanse of your exposed skin. Eddie feels his stomach heave as he realizes he can see the faintest hint of muscle and sinew there.
He can’t get the words out to properly ask you what happened, but he sees the source of the wound before he has the time to really get worried about that. A thick, jagged piece of glass sits at your feet, at least four inches in length, and two of those inches are coated in a slick layer of blood – your blood.
Oh… shit.
He swallows hard in a lame attempt at regaining a bit of composure.
“What – uh – what do you need me to do here?” Eddie asks uselessly, feeling his mouth go dry.
The long and short of it? You need his belt to tie a better tourniquet, and while Eddie has never thought twice about unbuckling his belt for you, his fingers are trembling so badly as he fumbles with getting it unnotched and pulling it from his jeans that he nearly drops it twice before he gets it free.
He hates himself for the way you hiss out in pain when he slips the belt up over your thigh and pulls it tight – tighter even when you tell him to.
Eddie does as he’s told, despite his reluctance to hurt you, because you clearly know better than he does.
“How’s that–how’s it feel?” He asks once the belt is notched and looped, tight enough to cause your skin to discolor in places.
He’s on his knees in front of you now, eyes flitting back and forth between his work and your face, hands hovering aimlessly over the spot like he half expects it to spring a leak like some kind of rusty pipe.
“Tight.” You say through gritted teeth, and when Eddie feels his brows come together in concern, you shake your head and assure him that “Tight is good.”
After that, working together you manage to coax the back doors to fall open with a thunderous crash that has Eddie sucking in a tense breath. Your ticking clock is steadily running out, and he’s only thankful that you can more or less stand on your own two feet and walk yourself out of there.
Still, he has to carry you up the embankment, bridal style with your legs tucked over his arm – he’s hyper-aware of every one of his movements as he goes, suddenly so paranoid that any wrong step is going to tear something and set you to bleeding again.
Over the black river of pavement and through the woods, back toward home, you go – slowly, step after agonizing step you lean heavily on Eddie and hobble to safety. One foot in front of the other, baby steps one might even say – it’s agonizingly slow going, but it’s distance all the same.
The further you go, the more Eddie can’t help but start to fool himself that things are going to be okay – you’re going to make it.
He should know better than to hope for something like that.
Eddie doesn’t notice the bats at first, he’s too busy watching you for any sign of distress, and as a result, he only realizes something is wrong when he sees you stop short and recoil. Your eyes widen in fear and you gasp through your teeth, then he follows your gaze and sees them.
Like they knew he was going to eventually have to come back this way, like they’d just been waiting for him, there they are. Hundreds of bats, maybe even thousands, swirling and ducking and diving, a cloud of teeth and claws and winged screeching death swirling overhead.
“Eddie–” You gasp, fisting your hands in the side of his vest and trying your damnedest to tuck yourself in behind him.
“It’s okay – it’s gonna be okay.” He says, doing his best to swallow his own fear because how can that be expressly true when you can’t run?
How are you supposed to make it out of this one? The sobering truth settles in the pit of his stomach, cold and heavy like a rock, threatening to pull him down into the depths of sickening realization: you’re not.
Holy, shit. He can’t help but think. We’re going to die down here.
Strangely, Eddie can’t stop thinking about that moment back in the boat house with danger bearing down on the pair of you – he’d stressed that you had to get the fuck out of there, right now, and you’d more or less agreed … only, not the both of you.
There will be no more running for Eddie the Banished…
If he can buy you some time, find a way to lure the bats away from you, maybe you can make it back to the gate – but there lies the problem with your being unable to walk without his support. It’s a terrible conundrum, how to give his life to save yours when you need to use him as a crutch? He’ll burn that bridge when he comes to it.
“What are we gonna do … Eddie?”
Eddie twists to face you then, taking your face in both hands.
“Hey, look at me – we’re gonna be fine, we're gonna walk—”
“We’re not gonna make it!” you say in a clipped, panicked tone, eyes wide and reeling in their sockets as he holds you firmly to the spot and forces you to look at him.
“Doesn’t matter.” He says immediately, shaking his head, “We gotta try. So, we’re just gonna walk, okay? One foot in front of the other.”
You shake your head.
“They’re gonna see us.”
Eddie nods slowly.
“Yeah— yeah, they’re gonna see us, but it’s gonna be okay. Listen to me. Whatever happens, it’ll be okay ... you trust me right?"
"I trust you." You say slowly.
He rolls his shoulders in a shrug he hopes is half as calm and casual as it feels.
"So let's just walk, see what happens."
“...Okay.”
If he thought your pace before was slow, this is like trudging through wet cement. One foot after the other, just like he said, you make your way out into the open.
Eddie does his best not to breathe and he squeezes you tight against him, doing his best to sync your steps and hold as much of your weight as he can take without outright carrying you.
You get barely half a minute of peace out in the open before razor-sharp claws come flying down to rake the side of your face and send you staggering with a strangled scream.
Eddie manages to keep you upright, but only just, and he barely has time to decide where to go let alone process what the hell just happened before you’re hit again, this time from the right.
It’s actually astounding the way he’s already doing such a bad job at this – he came out here to protect you, didn’t he? Save you?
Maddeningly, no amount of thrashing or shouting seems to draw the bats' attention to him, like he’s not even there. He tries to put himself in front of you to act as some sort of a buffer against the attack as they swarm, but the bats just keep coming, and in the end, all he can do is pull you along at a staggering pace to try and keep the bats off of you.
In the distance, Eddie suddenly spies the discarded spear and shield lying in a heap and he feels the tips of his fingers sting with adrenaline. Suddenly, there’s a chance.
Forget the gate, if he can just get you to that shield, maybe he can protect you.
He turns to tell you the new plan just in time to see you enveloped in a pair of wings, and in a moment, your fingers slip from his.
“Shit– no–!”
“Eddie!”
Before he can grab you, something grips Eddie’s ankle and wrenches him off of his feet. He hits the ground and scrambles to try and find purchase on the pavement, blunt fingernails splintering in the earth as he’s dragged backward, away from you.
You’re wide-eyed, mouth hanging open in a silent scream as you reach for him – fingers just miss each other, and then you’re gone as Eddie is wrenched away and you disappear into a cloud of flapping wings.
Oh, my God — Jesus fucking Christ, this can’t be happening, he thinks watching the frantic thrashing heap where you had been only a moment before.
That’s supposed to be him getting swarmed, not you… you’re supposed to make it… he’s supposed to save you — he’s got to save you.
Eddie kicks out and thrashes until his boots come away and he is free of whatever it is that has a hold of him. He scrambles to get his socked feet underneath him, but before he can straighten up he is hit again, hard enough in the back to send him sprawling forward.
His chin strikes the pavement, and stars burst across his vision. Eddie tastes copper as his mouth begins to fill with blood, but all of that is immediately secondary to the way his lungs have flattened in his chest and no amount of effort will inflate them again – he can’t breathe.
He can count the number of fights he’s been in on one hand, and most of those ended with him on the ground getting kicked in the ribs— this feels a lot like that.
In a slow, jerky motion, Eddie tries to curl in on himself, to protect the softer, more fragile parts of his body from any sort of real damage.
He’s too stunned from having the wind knocked out of him, and before he can tuck in and bring his knees up to his chest, he’s wrenched over onto his back by that same violent force that pulls him off his feet moments before.
In an instant, he’s spread taught like a pinned moth, arms and legs pulled nearly to the point of hyperextension, facing the sky as the bats lay him out.
There’s nothing he can do, no amount of kicking and thrashing to try and free himself this time. He’d barely held his own against one of these monstrous little fuckers back in the hall outside of his bedroom, there is nothing Eddie can do when half a dozen descends.
His mind begins spinning in desperately frantic circles, trying to work its way out of this – somebody’s coming to his rescue, right? Any second Steve or somebody much braver than him is going to come riding in to save his ass and pull him out of the fire. Somebody is coming – he’s not going to die like this, he’s not going to be eaten…
It takes them a moment to get through the padding of the army-grade vest, long enough that Eddie’s lungs finally inflate again, and gasping in a greedy intake of air, he manages to get one arm free enough to wrench his elbow down toward his midsection. The motion dislodges the bat tearing at him, preventing it from getting at his insides, but it leaves his throat exposed in the process.
The bats take no time to jump at the opportunity he has opened for them.
Time slows to a screeching halt, and this time Eddie feels the teeth breaking his skin. Every little puncture sinking deep into the tendons of his neck and pulling pieces of him away is amplified and, for half a second all he feels is a sting, then a series of pops and snaps before the warm wet gush of something flooding up into his hair and down over the expanse of his chest – blood, he realizes, his blood.
What had you called them? Giant vampire bats?
Paralyzed by the shock of having a literal bite taken out of his neck, Eddie’s body goes momentarily slack, and then he begins to feel the other points of pain as the bats make it through his armor and begin to tear into him.
Christ, they’re gonna eat him alive, and nobody is coming to save him.
The horror of such a statement is too much, it cracks Eddie’s brain open and he feels a part of himself slip away. He doesn’t shut down like he always imagined must happen to people in moments of great mortal peril, however, he stays tragically conscious, he stays lucid, and the bats keep eating at him.
Eddie shuts his eyes against it and fails to suppress a scream, as much as in pain as terror.
This can’t be the end, can it? Is this really how he’s going to die? Held down and eaten alive like some kind of Promethean cautionary tale – like something out of one of his campaigns?
What a stupid fucking way to die.
Then, inexplicably, just as it becomes too much to bear, it ends with a tremor. Small at first, enough to startle the bats away from their meal. Little faces slick with bright red blood pop up to look around, chitter curiously at each other, and then the world begins to shake, rattling Eddie’s bones as the earth quakes beneath him with a strange and deafening roar.
There is the rush of something being swung over him, a desperate shout and the bats screech and lift off like they mean to escape it – whatever it is – leaving Eddie lying where they left him. He watches them wink off into the dark with hazy eyes as the world endeavors to come to an end.
Things go dark then, and Eddie wonders with a stark burst of potent fear if this is the end and if he’s finally begun to die, but he’s still far too painfully aware of everything – of the rumbling, the fleeing bats, the burning and stinging and bleeding across the expanse of his body. Of the other body pressed against him, curling tight over him to try and shield him from whatever is happening, screaming in competition with the sound as it amplifies to a deafening roar.
And then it’s over, as quickly as it started, with a whimper rather than a fiery bang.
The rumbling silence that follows is punctuated by the sudden wet smacking of the stone-dead weight of a hundred bats dropping out of the air, like terrible, heavy rain. They hit the space above Eddie with heavy metallic thumps and he wonders briefly why he doesn’t feel their impact as they fall – he doesn’t really care; everything hurts too much.
Despite everything he’s still here… at least for now.
Even when the world grows still, he doesn’t move. He can’t. His body still screams in the absence of the assault where he feels every abrasion, even tear in his flesh, every bruised bone in his body all crying out at once.
It occurs to Eddie that he’ll die if he doesn’t get up, but that thought is lost under the pain, the way he can feel his life leaking out of him from several key points in his body with every panicked thump of his erratic heart. He knows he’s got to stop himself bleeding, but his limbs are heavy and sluggish — he can’t move – it hurts too bad to move.
Then stop moving, Stupid. Just lay there and die like you’re supposed to.
Something shifts above him, and the darkness is suddenly gone. He can see the sky as he begins to die, that terrible crimson flashing of lightning, and nothing else.
Eddie’s life doesn’t flash before his eyes – he isn't imbued with sepia-toned home movies of his first steps, scraped knees, and birthday parties.
When Eddie dies, all he thinks about is you.
You— crouched in the student parking lot in the first moment he ever really noticed you, gathering the contents of your spilled backpack, cracking a self-deprecating joke, and apologizing for bumping into him - treating him with the most basic human kindness where no one else ever extended the courtesy.
You — sitting on his bed with your knees pulled up, pouring over some homework assignment that isn’t due for at least another week, and ignoring the nonsense song he’s making up on the spot to try and distract you.
You— belly laughing at a joke that isn’t funny with your eyes squeezed shut and your nose wrinkled in the way that made him fall in love with you – You, blasting Duran Duran and jumping on your bed trying in vain to get him to dance with you – You, illuminated by some terrible slasher and shoveling tense fistfuls of popcorn into your mouth while you sit waiting for the impending jump-scare.
You – kneeling over him in this terrible place, battered and bruised, looking like the prettiest goddamn thing he’s ever seen – an honest to Goddamn angel – still clutching the slapdash spear and shield you’d used to save him.
Wasn’t that supposed to be the other way around?
You cast the trashcan lid away from where you’d held it propped above the both of you with a grunt, gasping out the effort and flinching against the harsh sound it makes when it strikes the pavement.
You’re hurt, more than you already were – blood is flecked across your face and oozing from various cuts, blossoming across the heathered grey of your shirt where it isn’t already drying black from before. It’s on your hands, leaving cold smears across Eddie’s skin as you frame his face, forcing him to look at you the same as he had done before.
“Eddie? Eddie.” You say, frantically looking him over, “Look at me – hey, you’re okay –”
Your voice is strange and lilting as you tell him again and again that he’s okay, but your face betrays any affected facade of calm you may have been trying to hold.
You’ve never been a good liar, especially when you’re scared. Not that Eddie needs to take a cue from you – he already knows he’s fucked.
It’s one of those existential feelings that settles in his bones, something he doesn’t need to be told to know, like when he knew he wasn’t going to graduate his first senior year, only worse.
“Bad, huh?” He grinds out, eyes rolling in his sockets as he tries to keep himself focused on you.
He can feel himself slipping and it’s terrifying. He searches you face, focusing on your features and trying to commit them to memory like maybe if he can just keep his eyes on you, he’ll be okay.
Maybe he’ll still make it.
You give a quick shake of your head that feels decidedly more ominous than it should.
“No – no, you’re okay,” You say again, “Can you-can you sit up? Try and sit up for me, Eds.”
He can’t imagine how he’s meant to do that, considering as far as Eddie can tell the bats have stripped him clean and he doesn’t have anything left between his ribs and his hips but empty spine.
Then again, you seem optimistic, and he can feel a sharp stab of pain in his belly when your hand comes down to rest over it, so he’s willing to try… or at least he’s willing to let you try.
“Let’s sit up, okay?” You say again, gently trying to guide him into a sitting position. “We’re gonna sit up and catch our breath, and then we’ll get out of here, okay?”
“Okay,” Eddie mumbles.
Slowly, he lets you coax him up, but then his waist begins to bend and Eddie’s body lights up in a hundred different points of agony.
Suddenly he’s on fire.
He screams out the agony, startling you with the sound, and you release him immediately, hands jerking back as fast as if the touch of his body had burned you.
He hears you swear hearshly from somewhere to his left — he can’t see where you’ve gone, he’s too busy laying there, trying to make himself breathe and waiting for the pain to pass.
It doesn’t – all he feels is the white-hot burning of half a dozen points where he’s busy bleeding his life away.
“Shit –” You say with a trembling voice, reappearing at his side, “Okay, on second thought, don’t try to move.”
He wasn’t planning on it.
Eddie’s only vaguely aware of you moving, putting that first aide certificate you’d once proudly shown off to good use. You gently try to coax him to lift his head, and he complies, whimpering and choking as it puts pressure on the wound in his neck – yeah, that’s the bad one — that’s the one that kills him.
“I know, I know it hurts —I’m sorry—”, you’re babbling as you press something to his throat and do your best to navigate the problem of applying enough pressure to stop the bleeding without choking him out.
Slowly, Eddie becomes aware of the way his hand has come up, trembling violently as he stares back at his fingers and tries to make his eyes focus on them. If he can just stay conscious, he’ll be fine. In the intermittent flashes of light, he sees the slick wetness of the blood coating his digits, rolling down his wrist into his sleeve in thick rivulets. He realizes with a start that one of those little fuckers took a bite out of his hand.
“Oh, shit…” he huffs, “…S-Sweetheart…?”
“You’re okay.” You say again, reaching out quickly to curl his hand in on itself and bring it back down to rest over his heart.
You keep saying that, but Eddie knows better. It’s too much blood — he’s only got so much of that stuff, and he’s fairly certain he’s lying in a good deal of it, pooling beneath him.
Still, it doesn’t seem to deter you as you maneuver him so that you’ve got your hands hooked under his arms.
“Listen to me, Eds,” you start, sounding winded as you speak, “We gotta get you to a hospital, so you gotta get up.”
“You said don’t move.” He whimpers, gritting his teeth and bracing himself for more pain.
You ignore his whining.
“I’m gonna count to three and you’re gonna stand up, okay? I’m gonna help you.”
“Okay,” he says weakly, wincing when you shift beneath him, one leg tucked under yourself, the other bent, ready to push up.
The subtle movement alone is enough to send a sharp and lancing pain screaming through his body, and Eddie imagines for a moment that even if his wounds don’t kill him, your attempts at trying to save his life will.
There’s no good choice here. Everything hurts, and it’s not going to stop hurting, no matter what he does. not if he gets up, and not if he just lays there until he dies.
“Ready?”
“No.” Eddie pants.
Your fingers tighten against him and Eddie braces himself for what’s about to happen. He’s not sure how you expect to do this, but the only certainty here is that if he doesn’t get up, he’s going to die, and more than anything, Eddie doesn’t want to die, not down here in the dark.
“You start,”
He takes a series of quick breaths, one right after the other, then holds it — this is really gonna hurt.
“—One.”
You don’t wait for the rest of the count, and Eddie doesn’t know why he’s so surprised about that when he’s the one who taught you that kind of behavior.
You push up and pull with all your limited strength to try and move him with you. Pull him up onto his feet, and Eddie feels like you may as well have dropped him into a vat of acid, it’s the worst pain he’s ever experienced, and he’s fully convinced that he’s breaking into dozen of little pieces as you drag him up — there’s nothing he can do to stifle the screams that wrench themselves out of him as you go.
His voice is a strange, hollow sound against the flat air, and you almost instantly collapse under the combination of his dead weight and your own weakened state.
Eddie gasps out in relief when you fall backward, having done little more than wrenched him up into your lap. He lays back against your chest with his head resting on your collarbone and waits for the pain to pass… and waits… and waits… it’s not going to stop hurting, he’s going to die before it stops.
He can feel your heart hammering against your ribs like a subtle tapping at the back of his neck. You’re both gasping for air, gritting your teeth against your own individual pain, and speaking at the same time.
“Oh, God— oh Christ, don't-don’t do that again,” Eddie pleads, “Please don’t—”
“Sorry – I’m sorry – that wasn’t nice,” You say, “Give me a second and we’ll try again, okay?”
He shakes his head.
“No,”
“Eddie, I can’t do anything for you down here.” you stress, “We have to get you to the hospital right now. Come on, let’s try again.”
“I’m not—” he starts weakly, gritting his teeth and swallowing hard before forcing out a breathless chuckle, “I’m not gonna make it, Sweetheart.”
He hates to say it, but it’s nothing if not entirely on brand — he is, after all, the pessimist between the two of you. It doesn’t make the statement any less startling, like the clanging of a bell that rings out in the hollow silence that blooms between you.
“No,” you say with a potent tinge of panic, “No, don’t—don’t be silly, of course you are. You’re gonna be okay, you just have to—” your voice breaks as a sob forces itself up into your throat. “—Y-you just have to get up. Please get up…”
It breaks his heart to do it, but there’s no sense in pretending like you both don’t know he’s a goner. Eddie slowly shakes his head and watches your features crumple.
“Not this time.” he croaks, only just managing to get the sound out through the lump in his throat.
Your face contorts into a twisted mask of grief and you heave out a strangled breath, slumping forward to bury your face in the crook of his neck. For a moment, it’s all you can do but heave under the duress of trying not to cry.
It doesn’t work.
After a moment of silence, you push up again, sniffling and wiping in vain at the tears that refuse to stop falling from your lashes.
Eddie forces himself to look at you and face the finality of this moment. He watches the big fat tears defy all your attempts to stifle them, dripping down to collect at the point of your chin.
He hates himself for making you cry like that, but there’s nothing he can do — it’s just another one of those inevitabilities that some fatalist part of him always knew: the bats were always going to get through, you were always going to end up in the van, and he was never going to leave this place.
Eddie reaches up to brush the tears away, smearing blood across your face as he does. He would feel bad about that if he could make himself, but a strange calm has washed over him, and suddenly everything doesn’t hurt as badly as it did a second ago.
In the back of his rational mind, he knows that’s a bad sign, that it’s the beginning of the end, but he doesn’t care about that — all he cares about is you.
“It’s okay,” he hums, “Baby— it’s okay … but you gotta— you gotta go now, go to the gate – Dustin’s waiting–”
“No, not without you.” You sniffle, violently shaking your head, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
Eddie’s heart leaps in panic as his vision wells up and goes blurry as tears begin to collect at the corners of his lashes. You can’t stay down here, but he knows there’s nothing he can do or say to make you go – nothing he’s willing to say, at least.
Suddenly, Eddie is struck with the thought that these are the last minutes of his life, there are no do-overs after this, no second chances. When he closes his eyes, he’s going to die, and this is the last time he’s ever going to see you — what a terrible thing that is.
You’re gonna go on, keep on living your life, hit all those milestones you’d planned together, and he’s gonna be so sorry to miss it. How terrible a thing it is that you could love something death can touch – he would tell himself that he’s happy to die so that you can live, but somehow he can’t muster the feeling.
“At least I didn’t run away this time, huh?”
Eddie tries to smile like he’s laughing at himself for being so stupid, but all he manages is a pained grimace, a horizontal stretch pulling his lips into a tight line — his mouth is full of blood.
You smile, a weak and wilting mirror image of the look he’s sure he just gave you, and you shake your head.
“No,” you sniffle, brushing back his hair in a helpless attempt at soothing him, “You ran toward the danger, like a big dumb brave idiot… you saved me.”
Eddie heaves out a stuttering sigh, a desperately melancholy thing, and shuts his eyes tight against the feeling welling up inside of him.
Grief? That’s for certain, because you’re both going to die down here if you stay, but he can’t bear the thought of being parted from you, not here when he needs you most.
Suddenly, he’s that eleven-year-old boy standing on his uncle’s front steps, only this time he’s begging himself not to go.
“Stay with me, Eds…” You tell him.
“F-fuck,” he stutters, “I’m so— God, I’m sorry. I really tried this time, Sweetheart… I tried to stay, but I–” He breathes out harshly because he'd rather waste a breath than time choking on the sob welling in his throat, “–I don’t – I don’t want to go… I don’t wanna go.”
You shake your head and shush him, gently caressing the apple of his cheek with your knuckles.
“...I know, Baby.” you murmur, “Look at me … I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”
The words strike him one after the other, harsh and potent stabs of fear pincushioning him and holding him there where he lays in your arms.
You have to go, he wants to tell you, if you stay you’ll die. But he can’t get the words out fast enough. His speech is sluggish and slurred, clumsy on his tongue.
“You can’t—”
You don’t let him finish.
“I made a promise, Eddie.” You press, “I said I wouldn’t leave you. So, if you’re staying, I’m staying.” And then you bring his hand up to draw a shaky x over the left side of your chest, “Cross my heart.”
It’s simultaneously the worst and best thing he’s ever heard. Maybe there is something poetic about it, spending eternity down here together, your bodies decaying and intertwining, falling together until you’re nothing but a jumbled heap of bones, yours indiscernible for his — together is better.
People are eventually going to forget about him … but you? No one will know what happened to you, not your friends, your parents, not Wayne – oh, fuck … Wayne.
Eddie’s heart thumps a slow and heavy rhythm in his chest as images of his uncle’s face swim before his eyes.
It’ll be hardest for Wayne, the not knowing.
He’s going to spend the rest of his life searching, wondering what happened to him, waiting for a sign that he’s okay, that he made it – or some sign that he didn’t – and it’s never going to come.
He’s going to die not knowing what happened, and somehow that’s the worst part of all of this.
Suddenly, Eddie can’t stop thinking of all the people he’ll never see again, everyone he’s letting down, dying like this. Gareth and the band, everyone in Hellfire —Dustin, God, Dustin’s gonna be crushed.
He feels his face contort into a mask of terrible sadness before he draws in a sharp, pained breath and holds it. Hot tears well up and spill out from his lashes, streaking down over the side of his face to collect in the shell of his ear.
“It’s okay, Eddie, I’m here…” You say gently, “I’m right here.”
“I love you,” He says shakily, desperately.
You nod.
“I know, Honey – I love you too… so much.”
You continue stroking the side of his face as he feels himself begin to fade, his limbs growing slack, his aches and pains easing away.
Finally, it’s like he can breathe again, and the air is cool and sweet. If he really wanted to, Eddie thinks he could delude himself into imagining that you’re lying out in a field somewhere, hundreds of miles from Hawkins and the Upsidedown and everything that means him harm, that means you harm.
It’s just the two of you, in this peaceful place, the grass is soft, the birds are chirping — he’s back home in the Shire, Mordor long removed from the horizon.
It’s hard to force the words out through the way his teeth are chattering – he’s suddenly so goddamn cold, he’s surprised he can’t see his breath clouding in front of his face – but he tries.
God, does he try.
“For the quest is achieved–” Eddie stutters, “And now all is over,” He opens his eyes, and the illusion is gone as the crushing darkness of this place comes rushing back in.
He’s so cold, he can barely feel your hands anymore and he has to look to make sure you’re still there, smiling sweetly, tears cutting thick rivulets through the dirt and grime caking face.
Eddie heaves out a sigh as he finishes the quote.
“I’m glad you’re here with me –“ He tells you, “Here, at the end of all things.”
Everything is muffled now. Eddie doesn’t hear the voice calling his name in the distance, calling yours – he watches your head snap to attention, watches the expression on your face change, and then change again.
Shadows are creeping in on the edges of his vision when you look back down at him, your features are growing fuzzy, but he can see your brows suddenly pinched tightly over your eyes as a newfound urgency etches itself across your face – God, he’s so damn lucky he gets to see your face one last time.
He tries to commit you to memory, but suddenly you’re nothing more than a blown-out silhouette of yourself, working your mouth, curling your fingers in tighter around him.
You’re saying something, but Eddie can’t understand you, the words are garbled, like being spoken underwater.
He would be sad about that if he were able.
He wants to tell you he loves you again, one last time before he goes, make sure you know for certain before it’s too late, but he’s already slipped beneath the surface by the time the thought crosses his mind.
Somewhere, he thinks he can hear you talking to him, still stroking his face in that lovely way you always do. He imagines you asking him to stay stay stay… he would if he could.
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in my room || pt. 2
pairings madly inlove!ellie williams x madly inlove!reader
summary based of the song, in my room by insane clown
warnings murder of someone in the jackson community, angst, romantic kissing, bloody
a/n i hope this gets more attention & notes cuz this is flopping so hard rn 😭
wordcount 3.1k
part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4
—
aime and ellie have been best friends for 4 years now, ellie has grown to love the girl, and she realized only a year after they started being friends, that she would do anything for her.
"what, you're like, actually going to that?" aime laughed, confused as the aburn haired girl mentioned the dance that the community had 4 times a year, one for every season.
"yeah, why not?" ellie smiled, looking to the cealing, she was layed on aimes bed, her back to the matress, aime was in the same position but moved to her back facing the cealing with her elbows holding her up? looking down at the girl.
"uh, because you hate those? did you promise jesse or dina or something?" the girl asked, "what? no, i just-" ellie sighed, looking anywhere but the girl.
aime felt something off, ellie was hiding something.
aime crawled over ontop of ellie, so she straddled her hips, ellie instinctively grabbed onto aimes hips.
aime leaned in close to the girl, eyebrows scrunched, "what arent you telling me, els?" aime asked softly
ellie blushed softly at the nickname, even though aime had been calling her that for years, it still got to her, but she lied to herself, ignoring the feeling she would get when she got called that by her, ignoring the way she felt once aime had pressed her ass against her body and got close to her like that.
ellie stayed quietly, head tilted and looking at the wall behind aime. if anyone had walked in, they would immediately pull the door closed and chant out 'sorrys' from the position. aime always found herself getting close and touchy with ellie, but ellie would never retaliate, infact, she would only give into it, getting touchy back. but ellie never thought twice about it, she assumed that was just the way aime was, considering aime had been touchy like that throughout their whole friendship, but if ellie really did think about it, she would realize that aime only did it to her, never getting as near to dina or jesse like they way she would throw herself ontop of ellie.
ellie thought that their friendship was completely platonic, and considering this was her first real friendship besides riley, she didnt have much to go off of, that best friends were supposed to be like this, supposed to always flirt with eachother, jokingly of course. ellie thought that that one time aime came knocking at her door practically begging for her to kiss her was a normal thing too.
a knock came to ellies door. she dropped her pen, closing the journal to finish the drawing of her bestfriend later. ellie opened the door to a worried looking girl.
"hey, what happened? are you okay?" ellie asked with a sadden voice, bringing aime into her garage-house, closing the door behind her, and wrapping her arms around aime to comfort her.
aime hugged back for a moment before pulling away, with her hands gripping on the fabric of ellies shoulders
"you've had your first kiss" aime stated-
ellie had told aime about riley, she felt comfortable to tell her, since aime had talked about a friend who was a girl she had years ago, when her mom was sick the girl had helped her, and aime said she had the biggest crush on her for the week she stayed with her, before her mom got better and killed off the little girl.. anyways, the point is, ellie knew aime wouldnt judge her for being into girls, and it felt good to be able to talk about it to someone.
"yeah?" ellie asked confused, "well i havent, and sally asked me to hangout like- as a date!" aime exclaimed
aime didnt give 2 fucks about sally. she was already completely in love with ellie, but she didnt want ellie to catch on to her liking her, so she decided on flirting with the girls in the community she thought could be gay until sally had flirted back and asked her out.
ellie felt her heart drop at the mention of another girl. "oh" was all ellie could say. she didnt know why she felt so- jittery, she felt like she could punch something
"yeah, so, i dont wanna seem like a total idiot and kiss her wrong"
"you're gonna kiss her?" ellie asked, aime could see her fighting a frown, "well- i do like her, and shes really pretty, and- i dont know! i just need to know for if she kisses me, i dont know how to kiss back" aime shrugged
"oh.. goodluck then" ellie said in a no emotion filled voice, she wasnt catching onto what aime was saying, aime could feel her heart explode at how cute she was with how jealous and clueless she was
aimes grip tighten, pulling ellie back as ellie tried to walk away, ellie looked down at the girl confused
over the year and a half of the girls being friends, aime stayed her height, while ellie kept on gettibg taller, so now instead of aime looking down at ellie, it was reversed, but even more of a height difference then before
"els, you dont understand what im asking"
another thing, the nickname els, aime had randomly called her that about a month into their friendship, ellie got flushed and asked for aime to not call her it, but aime kept on calling her it, and ellie said that only she could call her it.
"cause you didnt ask anything aimees" ellie said still confused
"teach me how to kiss"
ellies face heated up
"wha- i- aime, i dont know how to kiss either, it was one quick kiss and- i barley remember it, i just did it, so- just do it, you'll he fine" ellie panicked at the thought of kissing aime
"please els, i dont wanna make a fool of myself, and if you barley remember then it'll be practice for you too, so when you.." aime gritted her teeth at the thought, "when you get a new girlfriend, she'll be super impressed" aime pleaded
ellie stared down at the girl, "just practice" ellie mumbled, mainly to herself, trying to shove the romantic and sexual thoughts out of her brian
ellie held onto the girls face, staring at her lips, before pulling herself in
ellies lips moved so smoothy against aimes, their lips fit like a puzzle peice, aime moved her lips back, and as she wasn't lying, it was her first kiss, everything cane natural.
aimes grip on ellies shoulders moved to ellies face, as ellies grip on aimes face moved to her waist, pushing aime closer to her, the sudden movement cause a muffled whine to fall from aimes lips, causing them to pull away
they looked at eachother, both panting, lips slippery, and faces red.
"i think i need more practice"
they kissed and kissed, all the way till aime shot up away from ellie, its almost 8 ellie, “i gotta go see sally, thank you, you're the best, best friend i could ever ask for" aime smiled, leaving the house, leaving ellie a wet, heart-racing mess. she spent her night pleasing herself, pretending it was the other girl, until she fell asleep from how tired she was.
ellie gulped, nervous to how aime was to react.
"cats making go with her.."
as ellie watched the girl for her emotion through her face, but couldnt tell anything as her face stayed neutral, she continued, "like.. as a date"
"what?" aime said, she sounded so cold, it sent a shiver down ellies spine
"you fucking like her? and you didnt even tell me?" aime asked, clearly pissed off, she hopped off of ellie, moving to sit normally, her legs off the bed and her elbows on her knees, hands covering her face, ellie leaned up on her elbows, still on her back
"i just- i didnt know how you would react-"
“so you just lied to me?”
“i never lied! i just never told you” ellie defended, she started to get scared with how aime was acting
ellie got up, feeling awkward, “i should go..”
ellies thoughts raced through her as she tried to think of how to get aime to not be mad anymore. ellie just wished she never brought up cat and denied it, but ellie felt excited when someone asked her out, she got excited knowing someone liked her like that, but deep down she didnt even like cat romantically, her heart already chose the person she was in love with. and it wasnt cat.
aimes thoughts raced through how she would get ellie to stop liking cat. she also thought about how much she hated cat and could just strangle her with her bare hands- actually.. know that aime thought about it, killing cat, would make ellie stop liking her, maybe ellie would get sad, but aime would be there to comfort ellie which would just make ellie subconsciously fall more inlove.
but before ellie left, aime realized she had lached out, and ellie seemed slightly put off from it, and aime couldnt let ellie leave like that. “no, els, im sorry for snapping, that was really rude of me, i dont own you-” yes she does- “and if cat makes you happy then i think you should go for it” aime smiled softly
“really?” ellie looked up, not believing her, “yes els, i want you to have fun, go on, you should get ready, doesnt it start in like 30 minutes?”
“right, yeah” ellie began to leave, but stopped at the doorframe, “youre serious?” ellie asked, “yes, of course els” aime smiled, “and you dont wanna come with?” ellie asked, “no, im tired, im probably gonna go sleep in a minute” aime reassured, “okay, ill come here after and sleepover” ellie smiled softly, aime smiled back, but smile dropped as soon as ellie left her sight
aime grabbed her journal, opening the notebook and began to write out all the different ways she could kill cat.
about an hour into the dance, ellie was having a great night, she wished aime was with her, but she enjoyed cat’s company, cat was touchy, in the same way aime was touchy, but ellie wanted to push cat away anytime she got too close, they were out in public, anyone could see if they looked her way, with aime, everyone just assumed they were close friends, (execpt for jesse and dina, they caught on almost immediately but never said anything, only sharing knowing glances at eachother), but cat and ellie just started being friends so it was different.
ellie was having a good time platonically with cat. her heart didnt ache the way it did with aime.
aime waited about 20 minutes before the party ended, she got up, grabbing her pocket knife she had since she was born, it was her mothers, even had her mothers name carved into it, and left her house through a window so her doors remained locked.
she snuck behind the cabin the party was held at, peaking through the window
aimes eyes found ellies immediately, and watched her dance with cat until the party was over.
she watched as ellie and cat left, hand in hand, they had left a bit earlier then it ended.
aime snuck behind them, super far behind them leaving the two girls just barley in her sight.
she followed them back until cat reached her house, they had said their goodbyes, cat even gave ellie a kiss on the cheek. it made aime grip her knife harder.
ellie left to go to her house as cat entered hers.
cat lived with her aunt millie, but millie was still at the party. aime had to make it quick
aime snuck into cats backyard, watching through the window as cat sat on her bed, taking off her shoes with a content smile on her face.
aime walked around to the living room window, she tried to open it but it was locked, so she made her way to the kicthen window, it was too high up.
she found herself climbing into millie’s bedroom, she left the window open so she could quickly leave after
aime creaked open the door to cats bedroom quietly, cat was already asleep- or rather trying to fall asleep, but her eyes were closed and she faced the wall, so it worked.
aime slid into cats room, locking the door behind her, she walked closer to the foot of the bed, when she got to the bed, the floor beneath her feet made a creaking noise.
cat lifted her head up, squinting her eyes when she recognized a figure in the shadows, she assumed she was just seeing things, so she reached over to her lamp, but before she could turn it on, a sharp pain came to her hand, she screached, and looked down to the blood on her hand, only able to see from the windows and the moonlight.
aime brought her hand to cats mouth, getting ontop of the cat on the bed to hold her down.
“shut the fuck up” aime whispered, she could hear cat say aimes name in a confused tone into her hand muffled
“you chose this ending, shes mine” aime said stern, before lifting her hands from holding down cat, gripping both hands on her knife, ignoring the pleads like her mother taught her, bringing her knife down at a harsh pace, cat screamed, loudly, millie could have been home by know, so she ripped the knife out and stabbed her faster, more aggressively, until she heard millies voice call for cat-
aime looked down at cat, she was far gone, aime had gotten carried away, her body was limp, blood dripping out of her mouth and her eyes still. aime jumped off cat, rushing to unlock the window of cats room, millie was right outside the door, trying to open cats door but with it being locked, it bought aime some time.
aime jumped out the window, not even bothering to close it, she ran faster the she knew she could, until she got to the side of her own house, climbing through her window, slamming the window shut and locking it, panting, facing the window and not her room, she didnt even realize that ellie had been waiting for aime right behind her.
“aime? is that blood? what happened? are you okay? thats not your blood right? i mean- where were you-” ellies eyes were filled with worry, her heart in her throught, as she gripped aimes shoulders looking into her eyes pleading for answers
aime stood there with wide eyes, mouth slightly open. this wasnt how it was supposed to go. and aime.. she.. “i left my knife” aime muttered out
“what? please aime, explain what happened” ellie was panicking like crazy
“ellie.. im so sorry” aime started to cry, ellie knew this was serious, aime never called her by her full name. “what, what are you sorry for?” ellie asked, holding aimes face in her palms. aime stayed quiet, she thought she had messed up everything.
“i wont judge you, i- i’ll love you forever, no matter what, you know that right? to the moon and back, just- aimees, i cant help you if i dont even know what happened” ellie whispered the last part,
“i killed her ellie, and millie knows” aime said, her voice below a whisper, barley audible to hear.
aime didnt have to say her name, ellie could tell by her last three words who she killed. ellie felt her heart drop from her throat to the ground. she stared at aime with her mouth opened in shock.
ellie knew ellie had problems, knew she was fucked up, knew she was a jealous person. but, she killed her new girlfriend. and instead of feeling disgusted and horrified like she should have felt, she fell more in love.. aime wanted her to herself, and she would do anything to have it that way.
“just kill me already els” aime whispered with her head to the ground, “what? no- no aime, why the fuck would i kill you? why would i ever do that? i told you, i’ll love you forever, no matter what you do or what happens, you- you said you left your knife?” ellie asked, trying to get her out of the mess she got herself in, aime nodded slightly, “the one that has your moms name on it?” ellie asked, aime nodded, “fuck..” ellie whisperd, hands still on aimes face, trying to think of what to do
“i need to go there, i need to kill millie” ellie said, turning around to grab her jacket, “what? no! els you cant go there! theyre gonns think you helped me! and im sure millies already telling maria by know- fuck, okay, if you really do love me, youll follow my instructions, right?” aime asked looking up to the paniced girl, she nodded her head immediately
“okay, just, im gonna pack real quick, and leave throughout the way we always sneak out, and you’re gonna sit here, and wait for them to come, and when they come, you’re gonna tell them that you’re waiting for me to come home, you dont know where i am, that we were gonna have a sleepover, i wasnt here when i showed- just tell them what you knew before i showed up, about the doors locked, window opened, they already know its me, i cant get out of this as not guilty, okay? i- i have to leave, ill come back and visit next- next friday at midnight okay? ill come through the same way- and everythings gonna be okay- okay?” aime ranted, packing her stuff, filling it with her gun, ammo, her kicthen knife, holster, extra clothes, journal, water, canned food, that stuff
“aime, i cant- i cant be without you” ellie cried- she never cried
aime walked to ellie, grabbing her face looking up to her, “do this for me els, i love you.. so, so much, to the moon and back” aime whispered, going on her tippy toes, pressing a loving and sweet, passionate kiss to ellie. aime and ellies tears mixed together on eachothers cheeks. blood got onto ellies face and aime pulled away, wipping the blood off, checking the ground and making sure she didnt get blood on it, once she saw it cleared, she grabbed her bag and went to leave out the window, ellie stopped her by grabbing her shoulder, she had her leather jacket in her hand, reaching it out for aime to grab
aime smiled sadly, grabbing it, “i love you aime” ellie whispered, “i love you els”
aime jumped through the window, and ran, praying everything went right.
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Oh sweet then do you mind if I request a Nathan Prescott x male reader? Where the male reader is taller and has deep blue hair :>
Yeah totally. I'm gonna assume you ment from lis s1 not bts. I went with general headcanons. They're just easier when I'm not giving tonnes of detail in a request soz♡ Tiny TW for internalised homophobia/general homophobia
Nathan Prescott x M!Reader General Headcanons
Fluff, Small Bit Of Angst
Pre-Game
Okay closeted king over here
I think he'd really like to be open about his love for you with his friends but seeing as they're all rich and privileged, he worries they may see him as something gross and abandon him
The only reason he still friends with people like that is solely for the status, he feels like he has to
I think Victoria is canonically his only real friend so yh
He would definitely struggle with internalised homophobia due to the environments he's grown up in and the people he's surrounded himself with
It would take a very long time for him to come to terms witg
Alrighty onto him as a lover💖
I feel like gift giving and quality time would be his love languages
So obviously because of his family's extensive wealth he'd have no issues with showering you in gifts
Literally whatever you want. Don't even ask he's already bought it for you.
Doesn't need a reason to spoil you he'll just do it to see your lil smile🥺
Also due to his wealth he'd be able to take you wherever you want
Money is no issue when spending time with you is the reward
Okay so I don't think he'd be a huge fan of touching sos
Maybe some times in private he'll let you hold his hand or kiss his cheek
If you're lucky, he'll hug you but not offen so treasure it
He'd hate PDA tho
Not just because of ☆secret gay☆ but in general he doesn't like people touching him.
So maybe be greatful that you can touch him, as minimal as it may be
Probably has no hight preferences
He sees pros of all hights
Taller bfs can hold
Smaller bfs can be hold
Same hight bfs can kiss conveniently
But taller means he has to GET ON HIS TIPPY TOES TO GIVE YOU A SMOOCH
Sorry someone draw that tho cus that's so cute
Doesn't really have much to say on your hair other than
Blue pretty, you pretty.
He likes when the light hits your hair and it makes your head look like a star shower
When he touches it its like he's running his hand through he sky
Or messy morning hair
He'd like to comb through it and make it all soft and perfect for you
Overall 9/10 boyf, eat the rich.
What I Write~
Games
TWD
~Elliebean714
♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡♤♡◇♧☆
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Should have said ‘No’
A Sabo fic based on an old song from 20 years ago.
Part 2: Back to the Beginning
Warnings: cheating, lying, angst.
Word Count: 1060
Sabo sat there with his head in his hands. What had he done? He should’ve just told her no, told her that you were waiting for him at home… So why hadn’t he? The conversation, the lies from the previous night came rushing back to him.
“Angel?” Sabo asked, hand in his pocket as he held the phone up to his ear.
“Hey, baby, what’s up? You’re late.” you giggled. He knew you didn’t care if he was late, not that he was even that late.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Listen, I uh, I got held up. Don’t worry, I’m fine, I promise, I’m just not sure I’ll be able to make it home before you fall asleep.” Sabo lied. He could practically hear your brow furrow over the phone.
“Are you sure? What happened? Is everything alright?” you asked. Sabo didn’t know how to answer that, whatever had come over him, he rolled his eyes.
“What was that, Angel? I didn’t catch all of that?” he asked, pretending like his call was dropping, “Listen, my phone’s about to die, I’ll call you back as soon as I can. I gotta-” click. He’d hung up. He’d never just hung up on you. Others, sure, but never you.
The memories had him rushing to the bathroom, sick to his stomach. How could he have done that? Why had he done that? A feminine voice called out to him from the door of the bathroom.
“You okay, cutie?” a woman asked, leaning against the door frame.
“Fine, just… not feeling well.” Sabo said, standing up, moving past her to grab a glass of water to rinse his mouth out.
“You don’t look fine. Why don’t you come back to bed.” she offered, running her hand down his shoulder and bicep, only for him to jerk away from her violently. Her touch which had felt so good the night before felt like burning coals now.
“No! I’m leaving, I have places to be.” he said sternly, headed towards the door.
“Back to your loser girlfriend?” the woman asked, stopping Sabo in his tracks, one shoe in hand.
“Don’t you dare talk about her like that, she’s not a loser.” Sabo growled, only for a smirk to appear on the woman’s face.
“Then why did you spend the night with me and not her?” the woman asked haughtily. Sabo felt his chest tighten in guilt.
“Because I made a stupid mistake.” Sabo said before finishing putting his shoes on and hurrying out the door. What was he going to do? How could he tell you what he’d done? How could he explain things to you? Could… could he hide it? Hide something like this from you? No, no he couldn’t, shouldn’t do that. He… he had to tell you, it was the right thing to do… right?
Sitting on the couch, you looked down at your long finished cup of coffee. Something in Sabo’s voice last night had you worried, keeping you up most of the night. At first you’d just wanted to stay up for him, but as the time wore on, it turned into worry that kept you up all night. Hearing the click of the front door, you looked up, Sabo walking in a moment later, one hand running through his blond looks and looking rather perturbed.
“Babe? Are you alright?” you asked, drawing his attention. The look in his eyes, it was surprise and… fear?
“A-angel? What are you doing awake? You never wake up this early.” Sabo asked, trying to remain calm.
“I… I was worried, I couldn’t sleep all night. You… you didn’t come home.” you said, sending a knife through Sabo’s heart. He hadn’t come home at all last night… he’d spent the night at that woman’s house.
“I… yeah, I meant to but uh, listen, why don’t we talk about this once you’ve gotten some sleep, you look exhausted.” Sabo offered, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking as he caressed your cheek. You could tell, something was wrong and he was hiding something from you. Worse yet, you had an idea of what. A boyfriend who calls to say he won’t make it home without any reason as to why he won’t make it home? Only getting in early the next morning and looking terrified, and maybe… guilty? Avoiding talking about the previous night, you weren’t stupid, you were almost certain you knew what happened. And it hurt. Looking down, you couldn’t help the tears that gathered at the corners of your eyes.
“Was… was she everything you had hoped?” you asked quietly. His stunned silence was all the answer you needed and all the motivation your tears needed to start streaming down your cheeks. You knew… you knew and it damn near stopped his heart.
“A-angel, I swear I… I didn’t mean to. I… I don’t know what came over me. I’m… I’m so sorry, I…” the rest of the words stuck in his through, the words that he wanted to say as his legs gave out on him. He’d never seen such a betrayed look on your face.
“Please leave. I… I don’t want to see you right now.” you muttered, thrusting another dagger into his chest.
“I… please don’t make me leave. I deserve it, I know I do, I deserve your anger and even your hatred. What I did… it’s unforgivable, but please, please don’t make me leave.” he pleaded, watching you shake your head.
“I want you out! I don’t want to see you right now. I… please just leave! I don’t know where to have you go, but anywhere that isn’t here.” you said, making Sabo start shaking. What had he done? Tears fell like waterfalls down both your and his cheeks as he somehow managed to pull himself up. He knew there was no pleading with you, no begging, no discussion… no chance for an explanation. How would he explain things anyway? Stumbling to the door, he left, slamming against the opposite wall as his thoughts swirled in his head, tears pouring down in unstoppable rivers. He could hear your sobs through the door and it tore at his heart, making him sick again. He should’ve said no last night, should’ve headed home. All he could hope for now, all he could pray for now, is that you wouldn’t leave him.
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Chance Encounter - Part 3 + Drabble
Summary: Bucky goes the extra mile in helping Katrina during her detox. Almost a year later they celebrate multiple events.
Length: 5.2 K
Warnings: Angst, Bucky feeling guilt, cold turkey detoxification (sped up for dramatic purposes), fluff at the end and in the Drabble.
Author’s notes: This story took such a different route than my original plan. It was supposed to be a meet cute story then the idea of making the OFC Bucky’s adult daughter, with her own daughter, just kind of appeared in my head and grew from there. Plus the idea of Bucky as sexy dad and granddad was definitely appealing. I hope it resonates.
<<Part 2
🩺 🎉
Bucky didn’t go to the cafeteria for supper, staying in his quarters instead, brooding. Ignoring the sound of someone knocking on his door until Friday advised him it was Sam, led to the latter entering with a cheeseburger, fries and a couple of bottles of beer. Placing the food down in front of Bucky he opened the one beer, handing it to him, then opened the other for himself.
“She didn’t take it well,” he stated, drawing a grimace from Bucky.
“She took it better than I thought but then I told her about the kill squad and that when she comes off the suppressant, she might be uncontrollable. That’s when she closed down.” Bucky took a drink of his beer and picked up the cheeseburger, nodding at Sam before he bit into it. “Thanks.”
“Well, at least she knows the truth.” Sam reached for a fry. “You know, even if she doesn’t speak to you again, you did the right thing. She’s free of that husband, free of HYDRA and she can live the life she wants.”
“Yeah, as long as she doesn’t turn into a killer,” replied Bucky sarcastically. “She’ll have to hide her abilities to stay anonymous. SHIELD will likely have to put her into witness protection so that the CIA don’t get any ideas of using her in black ops. Life will be great for her.”
“Whoa, that turned dark,” commented Sam, taking a swig of his beer. “Give her space. She already knew you killed her parents and still went with you when you showed up at her door. She’s just dealing with all of this new information all at once.”
A grunt was Bucky’s response. As unrealistic as the idea had been, Bucky had hoped for Katrina to be more receptive to the thought of him as her father. He had even briefly thought of buying a house for all three of them, of being there for her and Anna, and doing things together as a family. Now, he was blaming himself for even having that hope, knowing it was an unrealistic fantasy. A hand waved in front of him, and he jerked back.
“What?” He glared at Sam.
“You were somewhere else,” said his partner.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I was. Sorry. I kind of got my hopes up. You know, imagining how things could be.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” Sam stood up, finishing his beer. “You going to be okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. At least, Katrina and Anna are safe now, and the docs will figure out a way to deal with the issue.”
“It will work out,” replied Sam. “Try to get some sleep.”
With a wave, he left, and Bucky finished his meal. He picked up the bottles and put them in the recycle bin in his quarters, putting the takeaway box into the garbage. Stretching, he called out to Friday to turn out the lights but was interrupted by a knock on his door. Figuring Sam forgot something he opened it and was startled to see Katrina and Anna. As soon as she saw him, she began to cry and he opened his arms to her, holding her close, as he drew her inside.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “You’re alright.”
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “It was so much to take in and I thought I should try to figure it out by myself, but I haven’t been able to think for myself for my whole life. I’m so confused.”
“Come sit down,” he said, taking Anna from her. “Have you eaten?” She nodded. “What has you so confused?”
“Stupid things, like if you’re telling me the truth. I’ve been lied to my whole life, and I just don’t know if I can tell anymore what the truth is. I went to see Shuri and she said you’re the most honest man she knows.”
He smiled slightly. “She’s biased but she knows me very well. She’s the scientist who neutralized the trigger words that brought out the Winter Soldier and she designed my arm. What else did she tell you?”
“I couldn’t understand why you didn’t remember me, because I thought I was important to you. But in the supermarket, there was no recognition. Yet, you remembered other things that happened to you. She said HYDRA really did a lot of damage to your brain and that there were many things that you would likely never remember. Were the memories of me the ones that you’ll never get back?”
“Listen to me,” he said gently, placing Anna on his lap. “When I first saw you in the supermarket, I saw a woman who looked out of place. You seemed overwhelmed at the size of the place, the selection, the whole atmosphere. What you wanted was on the top shelf and you couldn’t reach it, but you were too afraid to ask for help. It reminded me of myself after I got away from HYDRA. So, I offered to help you as one person to another. Then when you looked at me, I could tell you recognized me, but I thought it was just like when any member of the public suddenly realizes it’s me. It wasn’t until you went to the end of the aisle and looked back at me that I had a flash of a memory that I had seen you before, but I didn’t know where. When I went to my car and saw you sitting there, it just reinforced that you were familiar. I recognized Sergei as well but couldn’t place where I had seen him, except the feeling I got from him wasn’t good. So, I got his licence plate number and Sam looked up Sergei’s information. I had his name and address but still couldn’t put the pieces together. I thought he may have been HYDRA but there were so many people that I encountered over the years I couldn’t narrow it down in my mind. But I was worried about you, because you were obviously afraid of him, even in that parking lot. So, I came to that house, and I watched through the window. When he hit you, I was ready to beat him down just on that alone. After he left, I knocked on the door and you called me Soldier, so you did know who I used to be, except when you said it, there was no fear. That didn’t make sense, even when you told me who you were and how you knew me, because I still didn’t remember. It didn’t matter because I wasn’t leaving there without you and Anna. I’m not the type of man to turn my back on anyone who needs help, and you needed it.”
“Do you remember me now?”
“Bits and pieces only,” he admitted. “Feelings, a couple of memories of me holding a child as she cried, which may have been you or it may have been my sister. After they forced me to kill your parents, my memory was wiped repeatedly, to make me forget you, then I was frozen. After I was awakened, I was wiped again and sent out on a kill mission, according to the files Sam found. They reprogrammed me to go after Steve Rogers because he was getting in the way of their plans. Until then, the public didn’t know who I was. But during a fight, my mask came off, and Steve recognized me, called me by name and that made other memories of him start pushing out. They wiped me again to go after him and I almost killed him, but a specific memory came back of us as friends and that was it, I wasn’t going back. If I had remembered you then, I would have come back for you. I would have never left you there. But they did too good of a job on my memories of you. I’m sorry.”
“So, you don’t care about me as your daughter,” she said hesitantly. “You only care for me as some woman who was in an abusive relationship.”
“No, that’s not true,” smiled Bucky, as he looked at her, then at Anna. “I lost everything because of HYDRA. My parents died without them ever knowing the truth that I survived. My sister was alive, and I did manage to meet with her before she died but all those years without her were gone forever. Steve went back to the past and he was the last person I had history with. When Sam told me that you were my daughter, it was like a part of me that I had closed up had opened again. You’re family, Katrina. You and Anna are my family. I don’t know if the old memories will come back but we can make new ones. We can get a house and live together, with a swing set in the back yard and a pet. You can go to college. Anna can go to school.”
“What about the transition? What if I turn into one of those killers? They must have thought that’s what would happen if they put me on those suppressants.”
“You’re also my daughter,” said Bucky. “I killed for them for a long time, but I haven’t killed anyone since the moment I remembered Steve for good. Shuri said it was because the good person I really am wouldn’t have done those things willingly. It’s something I struggle with but there must be some truth in it. Those killers were never good people. They were trained from a young age to have no mercy, no joy, and no love to give or receive. You’re not them. Your foster parents did love you, even though they were part of HYDRA. They tried to protect you and failed. You love Anna and you’ve protected her from the moment she was born, and you haven’t failed with her.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered, looking at her hands. Bucky felt a swell of emotion at her words. “Everyone said you were dangerous, but you never were to me. Growing up on that base was hard because only three people treated me kindly, you and my parents. Even though Pierce was polite I always knew he saw me as something to use.” She sniffed and Bucky reached into his pocket for another handkerchief, handing it to her, bringing a slight smile from her. “I’d like for us to live together. If anyone understands how hard it is to go from living as a prisoner to suddenly being free, it’s you.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself then looked at him again. “Can I call you Dad?”
“You can call me anything you want, sweetheart,” smiled Bucky, suddenly feeling like crying himself.
This time the hug wasn’t for comfort but for grasping at a chance for happiness. A part of Bucky that had been missing in his life was finally filled. For Katrina, she felt safe, especially knowing that this man who had looked out for her when she was a child was more. He was her father, and nothing would ever change that.
“I better get Anna to bed,” she said, as she finally pulled out of the hug. “Tomorrow, when they outline the plan to take us off the suppressants I want you there, as my dad and my friend. Then we can do what you said, make new memories, permanent ones.”
“I’ll be there,” said Bucky. “I promise.”
He stood up, kissing them both on the forehead in turn before handing her daughter back. Then he pulled them both in for another quick hug before walking them to the door. He watched them walk down the hallway towards their quarters before he went back inside. That night, Bucky Barnes slept straight through for over seven hours, a new record.
When he showed up with Katrina and Anna at the Avengers lab on the following day and listened to the plan, he still had doubts that things would work out. The analysis of the pills proved that they were no longer as effective as they had been as the active ingredients in them were losing their potency. They were also addictive in nature. Katrina was on the cusp of having a physical breakdown. They could either wean her off or put her through a cold turkey withdrawal from the suppressants. Each process had its pros and cons.
“What do you think I should do?” she asked Bucky, who held Anna in his lap.
“If it was me, I would want to get that stuff out of me as soon as possible,” he said. “But it’s going to be hard on you, really hard.”
He didn’t tell her about his own withdrawal from what HYDRA gave him, a process he underwent alone because he was on the run, without any help or trust in anyone.
“You’ll help me?” Her plaintive look as she asked almost broke his heart, but he assured her he would. She turned to the two doctors and Shuri. “I’ll go through the withdrawal as long as my dad can stay and help. I don’t want Anna to see.”
“She can stay with my sister and nephews in Delacroix,” said Sam. “She’ll be safe there and get lots of fresh air. We can arrange for a sorcerer to open a portal directly there.”
Looking at Bucky for guidance on Sam’s offer, he nodded his approval, and she accepted it. After a tearful goodbye with Anna, they decided to start the process the next day. With Sam along, the three of them spent the day together, with Bucky telling her about his family and growing up in Brooklyn before the war. He showed her an album he had of pictures that his sister had of him when he was young. It was bittersweet for Katrina, seeing the pictures of his parents and his sister, family she would never know. That evening, after dinner, Bucky took her up to the roof, where a lounge area was, and they watched the sunset together, before he walked her back to her room and assured her that she would get through this.
Bucky stayed with her throughout the detoxification process, as there were things in the pills that couldn’t even be identified as other than toxic. While her emotions went all over the place, at the same time as her strength and senses exploded, he held and rocked her like a baby, cleaned up her vomit and worse. When she begged for the pills to take the edge off of what her body was going through, he listened, then refused her requests, taking the physical and verbal abuse that she threw at him in response. Not once did he lose his temper or raise a hand to her. The few times he took a break, when a strong sedative was given to Katrina so that both of them could rest, he would shower, crying in that sanctuary, for what HYDRA had done to his daughter. Then he checked in on Anna, having a live video call with her, assuring her that Mama would get better. After some food to replenish him, he returned to that barren room with only a mattress on the floor, since Katrina had destroyed all the furniture in the first of her many rages as her body shed the drugs she had been fed since she was two years old. Every time he returned; it was with a nod to Bruce to lock the door. Then he sat next to her on the floor and waited for her to wake up, ready to go through the process all over again.
For those who were watching on closed circuit TV, Sam, Bruce, Helen and Shuri, it was both heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time, at witnessing the love he expressed to his daughter to stay with her throughout the ordeal. Sam thought it was one of the most heroic things Bucky would ever do. On the fourth day, he was dozing as he sat against the wall, the strain of all of it finally catching up to his super soldier stamina. Katrina woke up and rolled over to see her father sitting on the floor, his back against the wall with his eyes closed, his face unshaven, his hair a mess; and thought she had never seen anyone that she loved more at that moment than him.
“Dad?”
He opened his eyes immediately and looked at her intently.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” he answered, tiredly.
“Are you okay? You look like shit.”
He smiled. “I’ve been better. How are you?”
“Hungry,” she said. “But better.” She sniffed. “Is that me that smells?” He nodded. “Can I have a shower and get out of these clothes?”
Sam, who was watching at that moment on the closed-circuit TV with Bruce, turned to him.
“That’s good, right? She’s through the worst of it?”
“Yeah,” agreed Bruce. “She might have a relapse but if she’s hungry and her sense of smell is working then her body is finally readjusting. I think we can let her out to get cleaned up and have something to eat but I still want her to stay here for the week just for observation.”
Allowed to shower and wash her hair, Katrina took a long time before she came out of the bathroom, going right to Bucky and wrapping her arms around his middle.
“I have your eyes,” she said, as the side of her head rested against his chest and he enclosed her with his arms. “I hope Anna has your eyes as well.”
“You already have my heart,” he whispered, “both of you.”
It was further proof of their blood kinship to confirm she inherited the blue eyes of his family. After two days with no relapse, Katrina asked for Anna’s return, and the decision was made to wean the little girl off the pills slowly. She hadn’t been on them as long, only for a year and it took just over a month at the compound to wean her off of them completely. Her blue eyes matched those of her mother and grandfather. Although she was still adjusting to her growing abilities, her natural joyful nature sprouted during that time, endearing her to many of the staff. The time they spent together at the compound, proved to be time well spent, as they learned how to be a family.
With Nick Fury’s help, a house in Brooklyn was found, ready for them to move in; just needing furniture, linens, and all the other things necessary for living. Bucky moved all of his possessions from his flat over but so much more was needed and the three of them went on a bit of a spending spree, finding furnishings for their small family. Many hands came forward to help them move in when they finally took possession. For the first time since he left for war in 1943, Bucky Barnes had a real home to come back to.
They also received word from SHIELD that the search of Sergei’s house had revealed a list of people who had been in HYDRA but were never identified or located when it fell. When the authorities showed up on their doorsteps to take them into custody, many of them took the same way out that Sergei did. A few tried to claim they were forced to be part of that organization but were still taken in to be given their day in court.
Eleven months later
The doorbell rang again, and Bucky called out that he would answer it. Peeking through the window he saw it was Sam, Sarah and the boys, and he opened the door with a big smile, noticing the big present that Sam was carrying.
“You didn’t have to bring anything,” he said to his second family. “Just yourselves.”
“Like I’m going to come to a four-year old’s birthday party without an offering,” replied Sam. “It’s really something for the house. It was the boys’ idea.”
Bucky looked at AJ and Cass, standing there with grins on their faces. “It better not be a video game console. My granddaughter is way too young to be addicted to them like you two are.”
The sound of running footsteps had everyone turn around as Anna came barrelling down the hallway.
“Uncle Sam, Auntie Sarah!” She hugged them around the knees, almost knocking them into the wall.
“Gently, Anna,” warned Bucky. “Remember, you have to be gentle with everyone.”
He picked her up, kissing her on the cheek. “Why don’t you take the boys out to the backyard and show them your climbing gym?”
“Okay, Grandpa,” she answered, then wriggled to get out of his arms.
Grabbing the boys’ hands, she pulled them with her out to the backyard.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to hearing you be called Grandpa,” smiled Sarah, kissing him on the cheek. “I think you like it a lot.”
“I do like it; I can’t lie,” smiled Bucky, then he put his hands out. “Give me that and I’ll add it to the pile of presents that other people brought even though I specifically asked them not to.”
“Stop complaining, Dad,” said Katrina, coming out of the kitchen. “You got her four presents and already let her open two of them. Hi, Sam. Hi, Sarah. Thanks for coming. There’s one person left, and he’ll be here soon.”
“A certain wingman?” teased Sam, as Bucky grimaced at him. “Aw, you like him. You just don’t want to admit it. Have you had the shovel talk with him yet?”
Bucky kept walking into the living room, giving Sam the finger as he did. That made him chuckle and he hugged Katrina, then signed to her.
“Does he know how serious you two are?”
She glared at him and signed back. “No, not yet.”
“Are you two signing to each other?” Bucky called out from the living room. “I can hear your hands move.”
They both stopped, then grinned as Bucky came back out to the hallway. With a knowing look at Sam, Katrina led them through the kitchen and out to the backyard which was done up with balloons and streamers. Music was playing and there was definitely a party atmosphere going on. Sarah looked at her brother as they went down the steps, surprised at the level of activity in the back yard. This was a bit much for Bucky’s usual tastes, but he seemed to be right in there, laughing and joking with people. He kept his eye on Anna, especially if she was too exuberant in her dealings with others, as she often forgot that most people weren’t like Grandpa, Mama, Uncle Thor, Uncle Peter, or Auntie Carol. Today, they were celebrating a couple of things, including Anna’s fourth birthday, or her first really, since her birth father Sergei, didn’t believe in celebrating sentimental milestones. In his mind, life was hard and you either took what you wanted to survive, or you died.
When the doorbell rang again bringing Joaquin Torres into the party, Sam was surprised to see a nod of acknowledgement from Bucky at the Avenger’s arrival. Maybe the major change in adjustment that the stoic super soldier underwent in the past year was an understatement. Remembering the first day he saw Bucky Barnes, that day on the freeway when the man literally destroyed Sam’s car with his hands, he smiled as he watched him pick Anna up, smothering her with kisses before he put her on his shoulders.
“Alright, let’s get this party started,” said Bucky, as he looked over the people assembled in his back yard. “Officially, this is just a get-together to celebrate a few things. First, I want to congratulate my daughter, Katrina, for getting her GED, scoring high enough to earn college credits in math, science, and language arts. She worked very hard to get that done, and I’m very proud of her. I’ll let her make the second announcement.”
“Thanks, Dad,” she replied, making several people grin at each other, as they still weren’t used to Bucky being called that. “I wanted to announce that I was accepted into NYU, and I’ll be starting there for the fall semester taking Applied General Studies, since I really don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“Not following your father as an Avenger?” Thor looked confused. “You are a super soldier, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am but I’m also a mom, and I don’t think I inherited the ass-kicking gene from him,” she grinned. “Actually, he kind of suggested it. Said I should find my own path and he would light the way.” She looked lovingly at Bucky, who returned the look right at her. “Anyways, it’s been almost a year since Dad found me, and helped me start this new life. You’ve all been important to me as well, so thank you for being there for me and Anna.”
After the polite applause, Bucky lifted Anna off his shoulders and held her in his arms. He whispered into her ear, smiling as her face shone brightly.
“Really? Now?”
“Now,” he said. “What do you want to say to everyone?”
She looked sweetly at the people who were gathered then crowed out her greeting. “It’s my birthday! I’m four years old. Let’s have fun!”
It was an incredible party, as much fun for her mother and grandfather as it was for the four-year-old girl. Every gift she opened brought joy to her, even the video game console that Sam Wilson brought, ignoring the fake glares from her grandfather. When Bucky brought the cake out, with its four candles lit up Anna clapped her hands.
“Close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candles,” said Katrina.
Scrunching her eyes up tight, Anna thought for a moment then she leaned forward and blew the candles out, to applause from everyone. As Katrina cut into the cake and shared pieces with everyone, Sam stood next to his partner, who gazed at his daughter and granddaughter with so much love.
“You’re a lucky man, Buck,” he said. “A good deed in the supermarket led you to find a real treasure.”
“I am lucky,” agreed the super soldier. “I have everything I want in life; a good job, a home, friends, and a family that I never knew I had. Thanks for doing the leg work and finding out the truth.”
“Any time, partner, any time.”
He patted Bucky on the shoulder, then both men accepted their piece of cake, enjoying every bite. Sometimes the darkest of discoveries leads to the brightest of celebrations, and this birthday party of Anna Barnes was proof of it. From now on she would grow up knowing that she was loved and cherished by her mother and her grandfather, the man formerly known as the Winter Soldier. This was one chance encounter that changed three lives for the better.
Bonus Drabble - I tried to include this in part 3 but it didn’t fit so I made it into a little Drabble instead.
The sight of Joaquin Torres holding hands and occasionally hugging or kissing Katrina Barnes at her daughter’s birthday party still surprised most people. Those that were at the compound when he arrived during the time of Katrina’s observation period, witnessed how he seemed taken by her immediately. Those that weren’t there heard the story and still didn’t believe it almost a year later. Torres didn’t even know she was Bucky’s daughter as she was listed at the security station as Katrina Ivanova. She was in the cafeteria waiting for Bucky when Joaquin saw her and Anna. Seeing Sam, he gestured to him to come over.
“Who is she? New staff?”
Sam had grinned, wondering if he should mess around with the flyer. Then Bucky joined his family, and Anna wanted to sit on his lap, drawing a smile out of the stoic super soldier. That just intrigued Joaquin even more and he pestered Sam for more information.
“The older one is Bucky’s daughter,” Sam finally said. “Just found out about her. They’re going to try to make a go of it as a family.”
“The little one is his granddaughter? He’s okay with that?”
“He’s great with it,” said Sam. “You want to meet her? She’s 26. Just a little younger than you.”
“He won’t hurt me, will he?” Joaquin looked a little worried.
“No promises. Come on, we’ll go sit with them.”
They picked up their trays and came over. Bucky narrowed his eyes a little bit as he noticed how Joaquin was looking at Katrina but said nothing, although he moved to the same side of the table with her.
“Katrina, this is Joaquin Torres, also known as The Falcon,” said Sam. “He works with your dad a lot. Joaquin, Katrina Barnes.”
“I will be, as soon as I get my name legally changed,” she replied, extending her hand to him. “This little one is my daughter, Anna.”
Joaquin looked from her to Bucky, who was keeping a civil face, at least for now.
“So, you were born while he was still the Winter Soldier?”
“Yeah, it’s a long story but because of a chance encounter at a supermarket, I found my dad, and he found me and Anna.” She anticipated his next question. “I inherited his abilities, if you’re wondering.”
He smiled at her, then at Bucky. “I think you’ll be a good dad and grandfather. You already seem a lot happier.”
“I’m working on it,” murmured Bucky. “Don’t you have some work to do on your suit?”
“Already finished the systems upgrade,” said Joaquin. “I’m pretty free until we get another mission. Oh, I heard that Fury was looking for you and Cap. Sorry Sarge.”
“Sarge?” asked Katrina. “They call you Sarge?”
“Hmmm,” answered Bucky, then he looked at Sam, who was trying to keep a straight face. His own face and voice were definitely not amused. “I need to talk to you, in private.”
As they walked away, he could hear Katrina ask Torres why her dad was called Sarge. They didn’t see Katrina, Anna or Torres for the rest of the afternoon, as he showed her the amenities outside, including a playground that Bucky didn’t know about. That was the day Bucky finally experienced what all the fathers of his dates in the 1930s and 1940s went through when he led their daughters out the door. The thought of karma finally catching up with him on his ladies’ man days, was a bitter pill to swallow. But at least he knew where Torres lived, and he definitely had the shovel talk with him a few days later, while sharpening one of his favourite knives.
Since then, Torres hadn’t disappointed Sarge. Whenever he showed up to take Katrina out he was pleasant with her father and he always brought her back on time, while showing her the greatest respect. He did have plans to visit Sarge soon, to ask him something very important, but he could wait. Today was Anna’s day and the ring was patiently waiting for its moment to be offered to her mother.
THE END
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Reach Out and Touch Faith pt. 7 (Steve Harrington/Reader)
Summary: You leave Hawkins for the summer and come back to a total shitshow. The new mall burned down, Chief Hopper and Billy among the causalities, and everyone, including Steve, seems to be hiding something from you. To make matters worse, you keep hearing and seeing Billy, but that can’t be possible. Billy’s dead…isn’t he?
Word Count: 4k
Author’s Note: This is the sequel to Boys Like You. Be warned, there is some angst, but I swear this will have a happy ending.
Boys Like You / Read On AO3
Steve managed to get Nancy on the phone, and between the both of them insistently calling everyone else, they arranged another meeting. This time, you were going to meet in the Wheeler's basement. Jonathan didn't want to involve his mom, not after everything she had been through, so he was going to sneak Will out of the house to meet with everyone.
There was a moment, when you were sliding into the passenger seat of Steve's car, that you started to wonder if any of this was a good idea. You had talked to Billy on the phone, but there was no guarantee you would ever be able to reach him. What if you let him down? What if Billy was waiting for you to save him but you never made it? You hated that a part of you wanted to give up before you even tried, but you were just so fucking terrified of having hope and then getting it torn away from you.
"Hey," Steve whispered, catching your attention. He reached out to grab your hand, tugging until you looked at him. "It's going to be okay."
"But--"
Steve shook his head, reaching out to brush his fingers against your cheek. "I know what you're thinking, but we've got this. I've been through this a few times before, you know, and it was a rough road, but we made it. Defeat the monster, save someone in trouble, live to see another day. We'll do it this time too."
You didn't even realize you were crying until Steve wiped away a tear tracking down your cheek, letting his thumb brush softly over your face. "Promise?" You couldn't help but ask, overwhelmed by the fear threatening to overtake you.
"I promise," Steve swore with a nod of his head, offering you a soft smile.
"Steve," you breathed before you reached out, reeling him towards you into a kiss. It was a bit awkward with the gear shift in the way, but you didn't care. It was everything you wanted Steve to know at that moment.
Thank you.
I couldn't do this without you.
I love you.
Steve's message was loud in the clear in the way he gripped your shoulders, his mouth pressed firmly to yours, his tongue sweeping past your lips.
You're welcome.
I'm always here for you.
I love you too.
You shuddered, the chill of the morning air sweeping into your bones. You pulled away from Steve, offering him a grateful smile.
Steve's lips ticked up in an answering grin before he turned and started the car. He reached out to turn up the heater before he pulled out of the driveway.
You didn't think you had it in you to have a conversation on the way to the Wheeler's house, too worked up from nerves and stress, but Steve had other plans.
He let out a soft laugh, drawing your gaze from the houses you were passing to him.
"What is it?"
"Just thinking about something," he sighed, shooting you an amused look. "You know I used to have a crush on you? When we were kids?"
"What?" You blurted, surprised by the admission. You had been dating Steve for months and he had never once mentioned it. "When? Why?"
"Well, we were in third grade," he started, shooting you a conspiratorial look. "And we had to do this oral report on our favorite planet."
You groaned, pushing yourself down in your seat, embarrassment coursing through you.
"I was totally unprepared and didn't know a thing about Jupiter," he continued, ignoring you. "I thought they were going to fail me right out of Mrs. Montgomery's class, but then this girl saved my ass. She saw me flipping through this book I'd stolen from the library, trying to find something to say. She told me she knew all there was to know about Jupiter and she was just so confident and she spouted off all these facts, one right after the other. I don't think I remembered half of them, but this girl, she sat in her seat and mouthed them to me while I was making my report, coaching me through the whole thing." Steve shot you a sly glance, his hands momentarily tightening on the steering wheel. "And then she got up and gave a report on Pluto."
You felt your cheeks flush, mortified that Steve had remembered all of this.
"And she was just so fucking excited about this little rinky-dink of a planet. I was so used to her being this shy kid who barely spoke to anyone but was nice to everyone. And I saw her, I think for the first time in that moment. I couldn't help but watch her and want to know more about her. And I thought to myself, 'I'm gonna marry her one day.'"
"No way," you argued, shaking your head. “There’s no way you thought that.”
"Way," Steve countered, quirking an eyebrow at you. "And then life moved on and suddenly we were in high school and we got paired up for a math project."
"I remember," you added wryly, tapping your fingers on your knees, your nerves not completely forgotten despite Steve's attempt at a distraction.
"And she was just the same as ever. Shy and smart and nice and so fucking beautiful. But she wasn't mine."
'I was,' you wanted to say, but didn't want to interrupt Steve, curious about where he was going with this.
"You see, I thought at the time, this girl belonged to another guy. I hated him so much, but knowing he had what I wanted made me hate him even more."
"Billy?" You couldn't help but ask.
Steve nodded his head, shooting you a reassuring look. "But then I realized I had it all wrong and she liked me back. And despite everything, that guy I hated more than anything became someone I wanted to save, to help, because he's important to her. To you," Steve clarified, as if you didn't know you were the girl he had been talking about all along. "I guess it's just a little funny to me how quickly life can change. I went from wanting to punch his lights out to going on a rescue mission for him," he added with a wry grin.
"Thank you," you found yourself saying. "You don't have to--"
"I want to," Steve cut you off, reaching over to grab your hand. "He's important to you and you're important to me."
"I just don't want anyone else getting hurt," you told him. You could barely live with Billy being gone, but losing Steve would destroy you. "I don't want to lose you," you amended, knowing Steve would know that's what you meant all along.
"You won't," Steve promised, squeezing your hand, before putting his hand back on the steering wheel. He pulled up in front of the house three down from the Wheeler's, turning off the car once it was parked. "Ready?"
"Probably not," you confessed, shooting him an uncertain look. "But we've got to do it anyway."
Steve nodded his head before he pushed his door open. You moved to get out of the car, trying to shut the door as quietly as you could. You were aware it was early in the morning, and while Nancy's parents might be awake, you still didn't want to risk making too much noise. You highly doubted they would be happy about a bunch of visitors traipsing into their house before the sun rose.
Nancy snuck you in through the basement door while Mike kept his ear pressed to the door leading into the Wheeler's kitchen, making sure his parents didn't sound like they were on their way downstairs.
Max, Will, El, and Jonathan were already there, and once Max saw you, she sprang to her feet. She met you by the door, her expression worried.
"What's going on? Is it about...Billy?" There was an edge of hope to her voice that was surrounded by fear.
You nodded your head, not sure if you trusted yourself to say anything at the moment. You weren't sure what Max was looking for, but you hoped once everyone was together, you could explain your theory.
Max looked like she wanted to ask something else, but Steve ushered you towards the couch, his hand pressed to your lower back to guide you. Max frowned, but didn't say anything, instead dropping down into a chair, her arms crossed over her chest.
It wasn't long before Lucas, Erica, Dustin, and Robin showed up.
"First you get us all out of bed at the ass crack of dawn and then you can't even give me a ride? What the hell, Steve?" Dustin grumbled, dropping down onto the couch beside Steve.
"Shut up," Steve hissed, elbowing Dustin in the side.
"Okay, we're all here," Nancy started, turning to consider you and Steve. "What's going on?"
You took a deep breath, trying to ignore the fact that everyone in the room was watching you. It felt just like when you admitted you thought you were being haunted by Billy, but now you felt like you were coming out with something even more possibly outlandish.
You noticed Max's eager look, as if she was waiting for you to give her all the answers she needed. You didn't think you had them all, but you hoped you at least had a couple.
"I got a phone call," you started, looking to Steve for reassurance. You didn't quite think they would want to lock you up in a mental asylum for claiming to talk to someone who was supposed to be dead on the phone. You were well aware they had all seen and done things that shouldn't be possible. But this was new territory for you and you weren’t sure of the way ahead.
"I woke up and the phone was ringing. I went downstairs and answered it and it was Billy," you managed to get out, your voice straining on Billy's name. You still couldn't believe it yourself, but it happened. You knew it had, despite the urge to doubt.
Lucas started to say something, but Max immediately hushed him. She gave him a stern look, shaking her head, before she turned her attention back to you.
"I don't know how it's possible, but I know it was him. He sounded so scared." You shuddered at the memory of hearing Billy like that, terrified and weak and barely holding on. "It sounds like..." you trailed off, knowing how ridiculous this was going to sound. "It sounds like he's trapped in the Upside Down."
"What?" El asked, disbelief and worry in her voice. "But Hop--"
"We know," Steve answered, nodding at El. "We know what Hopper sacrificed to close the gate, but Billy's stuck on the other side. And..." Steve shot you a glance, silently handing over the reins of the conversation back to you.
"I think there's a gate still open in the mall," you admitted, wringing your hands in your lap. "I know it sounds crazy, but it makes sense. I walked there in my sleep. I felt like I was being drawn there and it just feels like Billy was leading me there. I think he wants me to find him."
There was a silence that swept across the room, before Nancy finally broke it.
"Then let's go get him."
Dustin let out a scoff. "You make it sound like it's so easy. Do I need to remind everyone in this room about the last time someone was stuck in the Upside Down? Are we all collectively forgetting what happened?"
"We know better now," Jonathan pointed out. "We know what's there."
"I can go. Help," El offered, looking to you.
"No," you snapped, offering El an apologetic look when she flinched. "It's just...Billy said that there's something looking for him." Will shifted in his chair, looking uncomfortable, and you stopped, worried something was wrong. He gestured for you to continue, and you nodded your head, before speaking. "That thing that's looking for Billy is looking for you too," you told El. "Billy thinks it wants to kill you."
"What? Who was it?" Mike asked, shooting a worried look at El.
"When I saw Billy, when I was spying on him, and he turned it all on me..." she trailed off, looking uncertain for a moment. "He said he built it for me. That he would kill my friends, everyone I care about, and then me."
"Yeah," Steve said, drawing the word out. "So, El is staying here," he decided with a firm nod of his head. "And so are the rest of you brats," he added, pointing at Dustin.
"What? That's a bunch of bullshit," Dustin protested. "We can help."
"You can help by staying here," Nancy cut in. "El can stay on this side with the rest of you, but she can watch us. Keep an eye out in case we get in trouble."
"I can do that," El agreed, looking shaken. You wondered if she was thinking about what might be waiting for her on the other side.
"So, what? We're just supposed to sit here while you guys save Billy? We can't do anything?" Max asked, frustration leaking into her tone.
"I know you want to go," you told her. "But we can't risk too many people going. If there's something hunting Billy, then we don't want to tip them off that we're there too. It's too dangerous."
"Then who is going?" Jonathan asked, looking around the room.
"Me," you immediately volunteered, knowing you had the best shot at finding Billy. You couldn’t let Max go, not when she might get hurt, and that made you the person most invested in finding Billy on the rescue mission. You wouldn’t stop until you knew for sure if you could save him.
"And me," Steve added, raising his hand, as if you were in class.
"Me," Nancy said, glancing at Jonathan and Robin. "I think we should only bring one other person. Four feels safe, but five is a crowd."
You were glad Nancy seemed to be taking the reins, since she seemed to already have a plan worked out.
Robin and Jonathan considered each other for a moment, but before Jonathan could say anything, Robin beat him to it.
"I'll go," Robin offered, also raising her hand. It was easy for you to see at that moment how her friendship with Steve worked. They were so alike despite their differences.
"And I guess I'll stay here," Jonathan said, not looking too happy about the idea.
"We'll have to be careful," Nancy said, bringing focus back to her. "We'll need to get supplies and then find the gate at the mall."
"Billy doesn't have much longer," you warned. "The quicker we can get to the gate, the better."
"Then we've got to act fast," Robin agreed. "But what kind of supplies do we need? Where can we get them?"
"I've got an idea," you suggested, thinking of a place you had heard about around town. "It should have everything we need."
Nancy met your eyes, a mutual look of determination and understanding passing between you. "Then let's go."
"What is this place?" Robin asked an hour later, reluctant awe and something akin to disgust in her tone as she considered the store in front of her.
"It's called War Zone," you told her. "When most of the shops downtown closed up because of Starcourt, this became the popular spot for hunters. I heard some kids talking about it at school. They're the ones who mark the time passing by which animal they can hunt, so if it's supplies we're looking for, then I bet this is where we're going to find them."
"Sounds good to me," Nancy decided with a nod of her head.
"Do we even know what kind of supplies we're looking for?" Steve asked, looking at Nancy. She had become the unspoken leader of your rescue mission and you didn’t mind one bit. She was single-minded and smart, able to make a plan where you saw none.
"Not exactly," Nancy answered with a shake of her head. "But I have a pretty good idea about what we'll need."
Jonathan hadn't been happy about being left behind, but he seemed to understand that it was as much to keep the kids from going after you as it was to limit the number of people venturing into the Upside Down. Whatever was hunting Billy couldn't know that you were there for a rescue mission. If it wanted to hurt Billy, then it would want to hurt all of you.
You let Nancy take the lead once inside the store, watching her fill a basket with the things she thought you would all need before marching into the Upside Down. Steve was following her, quirking an eyebrow at everything she threw in the basket he was pushing, but not bothering to comment on it.
"It's crazy, right?" Robin asked, startling you. You hadn't noticed her sidle up to you.
"What's crazy?"
"Being thrown into all this," Robin clarified. "Monsters and an alternate dimension and all the whoo of it," she gestured with her hands, wriggling her fingers around, as if it could encompass the absolute insanity that you had been dumped into after Billy's death.
"It's...a lot," you conceded with a nod of your head. "I don't think I would have survived this without Steve, though."
"He really loves you," Robin told you, her voice going soft and fond. "We recently spent a lot of time together playing hostage for some Russians and all he wanted to talk about was you. He was worried about you. He missed you. I don't think he could have survived that without you, either."
You weren't sure you would ever get used to hearing about what Steve had gone through, and you ached all the same for the pain he suffered. "I really love him," you told Robin, gifting her a small smile. "Doesn't make this any easier, though. Putting him in danger. All of you," you added, glancing over at Robin.
"I can't say I was ever a fan of him. He seemed like such a jerk, y'know?" Robin said, tilting her head to the side. "But Billy's important to you and he saved El and now he's in trouble. Just seems like the kind of thing you do for a friend," Robin concluded, shrugging her shoulders.
From the way she looked at you, you knew Robin wasn't talking about Billy or Steve, but you. "Thank you," you told her, grateful that Robin had been pulled into all of this with you. You didn't think going through this would be the same without her.
"Alright, time to go," Nancy interrupted the pair of you. "Steve's checking out, and then we'll have to load up the car. Once we get to the mall, we'll suit up and try to find the gate. Sound good?"
Robin saluted Nancy, an amused smirk on her face. "Yes, boss."
Nancy looked half fond and half irritated, but she didn't say anything before she turned around and walked away. You followed after her, Robin trailing after you.
The ride to the mall was filled with silence. All of you seemed to be lost in your thoughts, focused on what was to come.
It wasn’t until you were almost at the mall that someone decided to speak.
"Do you know where to look for the gate? At the mall," Nancy clarified, leaning forward in her seat to address you.
You glanced at her over your shoulder, biting your lip in thought. "You guys said that Billy just disappeared, right? That the huge, disgusting monster thing fell and then Billy was just gone. What if..." you trailed off, letting Nancy fill in the rest for herself.
"What if a gate opened there," Nancy finished for you. "And if Billy fell through..."
"...that's why we never found a body. Holy shit," Steve hissed, shaking his head.
"But no one noticed a gate just sitting right there? All those lab coats just passed it up or what?"
"The mall has been abandoned since that night," Nancy answered Robin. "Maybe that's not what they were looking for, so they never saw it. Maybe it's covered up. I don’t know. It could have been anything."
Steve pulled up to the mall, driving right through the caution tape marked around the parking lot. He pulled into a spot before turning to glance at you. "You sure you're ready for this?"
You nodded your head, managing what you hoped was a reassuring smile. "I'm ready."
"Then come on," Robin said, moving to get out of the car. "He's running out of time."
By the time you were suited up in the gloves, heavy jacket, and protective face mask Nancy had thrust into your arms, you felt just the tiniest bit ridiculous. You felt like you were preparing for some kind of nuclear apocalypse, and not storming an alternate dimension to find your dead best friend. Although, you supposed if the Upside Down was anything like what had been described to you, it might as well be an apocalyptic wasteland.
Nancy pulled a gun from the trunk of Steve's car and then handed Steve a baseball bat with nails driven into the wood.
"What, no gifts for us?" Robin asked when Nancy slammed the trunk shut.
"Billy's going to need help," Nancy answered, checking over her gun. "We'll need someone with their hands free to help get him out of there."
Nancy took off towards the mall, not bothering to wait for the rest of you.
"She's really something," Robin muttered, but she looked like she was in awe of Nancy as she followed after her.
You let Steve usher you to the mall and it didn't escape your notice that the two people with a weapon were flanking the two people without one, making sure to keep you both covered.
Nancy led the way over the rubble, glancing back from time to time to check on the rest of you. You were aware of Steve keeping an eye on your surroundings, making sure there was no one else around.
You felt so nervous that you were worried for a moment that you were going to throw up. This was the moment of truth for you. Were you crazy or was all of this real?
You followed the others as they picked through the wreckage of the mall. You were sure if you weren't wearing a mask, that you would be able to smell the smoke in the air. There was trash all over the floor and you could feel the crunch of glass under your shoes.
Nancy kept her gun at her side, but you knew at just the slightest indication something was off, she would be ready to fire. Her shoulders were tense, but her steps were even, cautiously unhurried as she combed over the floor of the mall's atrium.
"What would a gate look like?" You couldn't help but wonder. You had never seen one and despite their best efforts, you weren't sure you would be able to even recognize it if you saw it.
"It's usually disgusting and spongy and pulsing, like it's alive," Nancy answered, brushing away a piece of glass with her foot.
Robin had wandered off, a look of concentration on her face. Steve hadn't left your side, keeping an eye on the rest of the deserted mall while you looked around.
Robin's voice came from a few feet away, shaky and unsure. "You mean something like this?"
You hurried over with Nancy and Steve to see what Robin was talking about. There were fleshy, rotten chunks of something scattered all over the floor, but buried beneath it seemed to be something glowing and writhing.
"Shit," Steve breathed, holding his bat aloft in his hands. "Here we go again."
taglist: @fangeekkk @outoftheregular @thebossiswrongasrain
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Prompt List
A simple promt list. Chose 1 -3 prompts, your chosen member and if you want it to be fluff, angst, smut, ect. I will keep adding to this as I think of more so keep your eyes peeled.
1) “I love you, I hope you know that.”
2) “I’ve always cared about you”
3) “I can’t believe I have you all to myself”
4) “Welcome Home”
5) “I’ve always wanted to do that”
6) “Don’t tell me what to do”
7) “Who did this to you?”
8) “I love you, not them”
9) “This is all your fault”
10) “Please don’t go”
11) “I wish I didn’t feel this way but I do”
12) “Look me in the eye and tell me you love me”
13) “Like what you see?”
14) ���I’ve been thinking about you all day”
15) “Try to stay quiet okay”
16) “We’re in public you know”
17) “Say my name”
18) “Once we start I wont be able to stop”
19) “Do that again”
20) “Why don’t you trust me?”
21) “Make me”
22) “Shut up and kiss me”
23) “Looks like we’re going to be trapped for a while”
24) “I’m in love with you and that’s terrifying”
25) “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to the bed”
26) “You did all of this for me?”
27) “”I swear it was an accident”
28) “That was you?”
29) “What did you do this time?”
30) “I dont hate you”
31) “Just marry me already”
32) “Did I say that out loud?”
33) “I’m not wearing underwear, just thought you should know”
34)”You need a place to stay for the night?”
35) “Don’t cover your face, I want to see you”
36) “Are you sure about this?”
37) “I’ve never wanted to fuck someone as badly as I want to fuck you right now”
38) “Is that my shirt?”
39) “Is that a drawing of me?”
40) “Take my jacket it’s cold”
41) ”Here, let me help you”
42) “Could he make you feel as good as I do?”
43) “Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?”
44) “I really want to kiss you right now”
45) “There’s only one bed”
46) “You bring out the good in me”
47) “You know, you’re really hot when you’re angry”
48) “I can’t help who I fall in love with”
49) “Friends kiss each other right?”
50) “Please, let me in”
51) “I know we agreed on casual ....but”
52) “I want you all to myself”
53) “What did you say?”
54) “It would be better if you stayed away from me”
55) “This is wrong”
56) “Will I ever see you again?”
57) “Loving you was not part of my plan”
58) “We’re going to be late”
59) “Do you love them?”
60) ”Was it worth it?”
61) “Thank you, you’ve made me feel a little less alone.”
62) “Keep saving me like that and I might just fall for you.”
63) “ Please don’t think they’re the one I love, don’t you see how much I love you.”
64) “You’ll be here when I wake up right?”
65) “ You look like you could use a hug.”
66) “Your lies used to be more believeable.”
67) “You know better than to ask me this.”
68) “Accepting help doesn’t make you weak.”
69) “I will never say these words to you, I told you that before.”
70) “Do you like that?”
71) “Are you going to tell me where you got that?”
72) “Use your words.”
73) “You’re mine.”
74) “Did I tell you to stop?”
75) “You can still be good.”
76) "We're just friends."
77) "What are we?"
78) “My dirty secret.”
79) “Tell me what to do.”
80) “Nobody needs to know.”
81) “It’s not that easy.”
82) “You’re on your worst behaviour”
83) “Ready for this?”
84) “My baby’s so bad”
85) “Can I come over?”
86) “I want to move on.”
87) “I don’t want to stay in the dark.”
88) “Tell me the truth.”
89) “Wake up.”
90) “Doesn't it mean anything to you?”
91) “I can’t live like this.”
92) “I’ll protect you.”
93) “I got lost.”
94) “I'm losing me more and more.”
95) “Where do I go?”
96) “Why are you hesitating?”
97) “I’m in love.”
98) “I can’t go back to the way it was.”
99) “I find myself going around in circles again.”
100) “I can’t forget you.”
101) “I didn't know what I had until it was too late.”
102) “Your love wasn’t lost on me.”
103) “I gave you my heart and you gave it back missing a piece.”
104) “You used to be someone I hated.”
105) “Everything means nothing without you.”
106) “You deserve someone who values you.”
107) “We can’t be friends any more...I will always see you as something else.”
108) “The guy who wins your heart will be the luckiest man alive.”
109) “Can you picture it...You and me together?”
110) “Us...I like the sound of that.”
111) “My family thinks we’re dating.”
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Day 4 - Grief
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Tracing Special Marks on Their Bodies – Genshin Impact Characters
characters: zhongli, kaeya, xiao x gn!reader
genre & style: mostly fluff + a bit of an angst
word count: 2.5k
notes: it’s one of my older works that i’ve never posted because i’ve been feeling it’s not good enough. yet, i still love this kaeya and i’m really proud of the way i portrayed his personality here, so here ya go
warnings: a bit angsty in kaeya’s part, mention of food
Zhongli; archon marks
It was a really long and tiring day for you. Not particularly because of the amount of work you had to do – loads of papers waiting for you to fulfill them were only the annoying, usual part of it. But the real issue lied in the fact that for the whole day you had to overcome the curiosity that was spitefully eating you up from the inside.
Waiting for your boyfriend to leave the bathroom, you were thinking how you should start the topic. Just by simply asking him without any explanation, you could shock him, but at the same time explaining everything in detail would be too much hassle. You played with the hem of your shirt, laying on your shared bed.
“Do you want something to drink?” You were so lost in the thoughts that you didn’t notice that Zhongli had already come out of the bathroom. His hair was all wet and the towel was grasped by his hand.
“No, actually… Babe, I have a question,” you sat up quickly and turned your body towards the man.
“Yes?” His eyes narrowed a little and head tilted slightly.
“Because… Today I spent the whole day in a library, searching for some stuff with Yanfei and generally doing lots of the papers she commissioned me to. And there was this one book about the law, I can’t remember the name, uhh… nevermind!” You shook your head, slapping your thighs with palms. You weren't sure why you were so stressed. “This book had illustrations. And there was the drawing. The drawing of you. And I was wondering… Even without your Gnosis… Could you, perhaps, still be able to light up your arms?” For the whole time you were speaking, you couldn't look up at him.
For a moment there was a silence between you. Zhongli was truly shocked by your question. You started to think that obsessively long explanation would be better, but then, his low voice reached your ears. “I can try it.”
“Huh?” The high-pitched squeak you made surprised even yourself.
“I said I can try it,” he repeated as he was doing circles with his left arm.
Zhongli sat on the bed right beside you. His eyes were shut, the whole face stoic, as he was focused, flexing and releasing the muscles of his arms. You were sure that you’ve never seen him this concentrated before.
“Okay, are you ready? I think I’ll manage to keep this form for a while.” He asked, stretching his arms out in front of him.
You nodded eagerly, looking forward to what was about to take place. For the first few seconds nothing happened, but suddenly, his skin began to change its colors. Starting with his fingertips, it shifted into a deep-dark color – the same as his hair – and when it reached his shoulders, the golden lines started to emerge. They were glowing brighter than the lamp placed on a small table on your right. It looked so beautiful. So surreal. Without even thinking, you brought your palm and touched your boyfriend’s hands.
“Wow,” you murmured, following with your digits all of the gleaming marks. “And you could do it like that all the time?”
Zhongli chuckled, bending and straightening his fingers that were now in the elegant yellow shade. “Yes. In addition, during a fight, they were appearing on their own.”
“So cool…” You whispered breathlessly, pressing on Zhongli’s flesh. It was much harder now, reminding all the stones and rocks he was telling you about all the time. Emitting the pleasant heat, just like a lightbulb, these marks have found a place in your heart. Ah. Surely, you were the one, to make this activity a part of your night routines from now on.
Kaeya; burnscar
“Uhhhh…” you sighed, leaning your back against the door. Trickles of cold water run down your hair and clothes straight onto an old carpet. “I haven’t had a run for a while, ya know…” Your voice was very breathy, the body nearly collapsing on the ground.
“Yeah. I did not expect it to rain,” Kaeya murmured, unsticking his wet fringe from the forehead. He also was all soaked and cold.
The sun soared in the lower parts of the sky and nothing foreshadowed a drastic change in the weather; yet, the unexpected rain interrupted your cute and lovely picnic date when you least expected it. You left the meadow in a hurry and went straight to your house.
“Gimme a minute. Gonna grab you a towel,” you said as soon as your breathing calmed down, taking off your shoes, while you passed Kaeya and went to the bathroom. “Make yourself comfortable, there’s no one in the house. You can go to my room, it’s the door on your right!” You exclaimed, rummaging through the cabinets.
“Thanks,” you heard his response preceded by a loud squeaking of the hinges.
Rummaging the lockers took you longer than you expected at the beginning. It’s the high time to finally do some cleanups.
“As if out of spite, I couldn’t find any bigger towel, sorry,” murmuring, you enter your room. “I hope this one will be fi-” you cut off as you gulp.
Kaeya’s slender fingers were holding a lamp next to his face, soft light illuminating his handsome face and neck, a little of the brightness reaching his bare chest. You blinked one, two, three times. Maybe you were just seeing things.
“It’s perfect. I’m beholden, my love,” he answered as he laid the lamp on the small bedside table. Now you were sure that you saw it right. Kaeya was standing in your room. Shirtless. Warm light brightening his toned stomach and chest. You swallowed again and the man seemed to notice it. “My apologies, this wet shirt started to annoy me. I hope it doesn’t bother you.”
“Oh… Ohhh, n-no, don’t worry!” You shook your head as soon as you realized that you were shamelessly staring him down the whole time.
But you couldn’t just simply stop looking. Since your relationship was really fresh, it was the first time you saw your boyfriend without any shirt. In addition you were alone in your house. In your room. Next to the bed. The thoughts were just coming into your head by themselves. Or it was something else that caught your attention…
“You have a scar,” you said thoughtlessly, pointing your finger at it just like a child.
“Oh, yeah,” Kaeya seemed more startled than you. “I, indeed, have a scar,” he chuckled, caressing his waist where the scar was located.
“Can I touch it?” Curiosity definitely dimmed your common sense.
“I am surprised by your boldness, but sure,” the moment he says it, his digits take your hand and guide it towards this mark.
Your fingertips touch it. It is uneven, very weird in texture. The area of the healed wound spreads from the left side of his waist, goes towards his heart, overlapping his ribs a little. It’s big. Nuzzling its whole area with your palm, caressing it lightly, you smile.
“Whoah. Being the Cavalry Captain must be harsh if these are the consequences, huh?” You joke, shifting your gaze to Kaeya’s face.
“Yeah. Sometimes you need to fight scary monsters if you want to come out alive at the end of a day,” he smirks, pressing your hand harder into his skin.
“Is it a burn scar? Did you fight a whole herd of pyro slimes? Or a hellhound perhaps?” You continue, hoping the man will tell you the story behind this mark.
“I would rather say it was a phoenix, my love.” He says after a few seconds of consideration. “A very dangerous one, as a matter of fact.” Kaeya was observing you, analyzing your gestures, your behavior, the tone of your voice and the way you were speaking. He seemed so effortlessly focused it was shocking.
“Tell me more,” you whispered, drowning in the warmth of his body. You were freezing and you knew that you should have dried yourselves before starting a conversation, but you were too invested to stop now.
“The wound this scar comes from has been inflicted on me on a very similar day as it is today. Storm was raging outside the windows and lightning cut the sky into halves.”
“This phoenix must have been really skilled if he could harm you. Especially if it was raining like this,” your fingers were still touching this awful mark. It started to be addicting in some way.
“Don’t flatter me so much, I am a human too,” he jokes, finally taking your hand away from his scar, intertwining your fingers.
“So next time take me to one of your fights. I’m sure I will save you,” a very loud thunder deafens your laugh.
“I will. But remember, my love, there are some monsters that you can defeat only by yourself.” He pressed your knuckles against his lips, kissing them softly. “And now you should go and change your clothes. I don’t want you to catch a cold, especially in the middle of summer.”
You nod as you give his cheek a quick peck. You felt as if the man just wanted to stay in your room alone for a bit, but you quickly brushed it off. It was Kaeya after all. Trying to figure his actions out was pointless; when he wanted to hide something, he always succeeded in it. Overthinking it was just meaningless.
You tell him, you will be back in a moment and close the door. Another roar of the storm is heard as Kaeya sits on your bed, touching the mark, knowing perfectly that it will stay there till the day he dies.
Xiao; tattoos
Clatter of dishes, numerous conversations, shuffling shoes and soft music played by a musician passing by – the sounds were filling the small dining room of the Wangshu Inn. It was a very busy day for the personnel and you and your boyfriend were waiting for a long time for your meal. It was understandable so you two tried not to complain and enjoy your day off – but it started to be harder with the amount of people bumping by accident into your table, the loud laughter of the drunkards reaching your ears and random guests asking you if they could sit with you, because there’s no empty seats left. You were a bit lucky anyway, because your desk was placed on the terrace, next to the railing, so it wasn’t the most crowded place in the whole restaurant.
“We should leave,” Xiao complained, slouching in his seat. He didn’t try to hide how uncomfortable he felt because of the hordes of people around him.
“Not until we eat. I’m hungry,” you murmured, tapping with matching fingers each of the Yaksha’s knuckles. “Maybe you don’t have to eat very often, but I have to. And I listen to my body that is craving for a one, single juicy meal,” you joke, pinching his nose.
“Fine.” he muttered under his breath, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow on the surface of the table. “But all these mortals around…”
“You need to get used to this. We must catch up with your two thousand years of inexperience!” You looked around, hoping a waiter was somewhere to be seen with your meals.
“Mmmmhmm…” he grunted, following with his pupils the motion of your hand.
Your fingers were wandering all over the top of his palm, tickling his not used to most sort of touches skin, causing his cheek to heat up. He was fine with your acts of tenderness when you were alone – at least he tried to be. But in public it was a totally different topic. Xiao felt bashful.
Lost in his thoughts, he started to move with his hand, testing if you would notice his small movements. It wasn’t really much. But he still tried to be more welcoming and open to your acts of kindness. It was really important to him that he was conveying your feelings in his own way.
“Ohh! Y/N!” The sudden shout made Xiao shudder. The man freed his hand from your grip and sat up straight, looking in the crowd for the person who said your precious name.
“Oh Archons, hi! C’mere!” You shout, waving in a direction from which the voice came from.
Xiao was even more confused when a boy he’s never seen before approached you two and immediately hugged you. His eyes widened and muscles tensed.
“Xiao! I think you’ve never had the occasion to meet. This is my friend I worked with for a long time in the Adventurer’s Guild,” you smile, leading Yaksha’s palm to shake the boy’s hand. “And this is my beloved boyfriend, Xiao,” you pull his arm, hugging it tightly to your chest.
Oh, what a tragic but alluring way to end a life. Xiao felt as if his heart was about to leave his chest, pounding so hard and so loud. He was a blushing mess. His ears were deaf for your words; he was just tracking the motion of your lips that seemed to be casting a whole bunch of spells, incomprehensible for his fuzzy brain.
While your left forearm was holding his right arm hostage, your right hand was doing all sorts of bad things. Fingers wandering around his tattoo, tickling his nerves and making him melt in the caress. It was embarrassing. The way Xiao reacted to your touch, to your sly fingertips, trailing the green marks. But he knew that he couldn’t resist that so he just tried to enjoy this moment.
It was a bit ironic. The gentle way you were treating the marks that spoke about his past, his origin and the true form that he abandoned a long time ago. They were all soaked with guilt, the weight of his sins deeply rooted in them, weighting on his shoulder. Yet you still acted as if they were his dear treasure, stroking them and playing unwittingly with their shape, admiring their beauty. You changed his point of view of them; made him even be proud of them in some way. Nevertheless sometimes you seemed to like them a little too much, making your boyfriend all flushed due to your actions.
“What?” You smile, raising an eyebrow. Xiao’s been staring at you without a word for way too many seconds after your friend left. “Why are you looking at me like that? You didn’t like him?”
“You’re a hassle,” he stuttered, standing up. “No respect for Adepti.”
“Where’re you going?” You knew that you should be more concerned, based on the fact that your boyfriend was crouching on the railing, but the obvious flustered look and a terrible blush on his cheeks told you everything you had to know. He started rubbing his arm furiously all over his tattoo, trying to get rid of this addictive and lingering feeling of your touch on his skin.
“Yaksha’s duty calls.” He turns away and jumps off the building.
You just laugh, placing your hands over your mouth in a tube. “I’ll take your portion of almond tofu to our room!”
Sometimes Xiao acts like a shy teenager in love.
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sweet lies (m.)
His lies were way too sweet – and you were too addicted to make him stop.
cw. oral (f receiving), fingering, slight body worship, public sex, multiple orgasm, orgasm denial, dirty talk, praising, titty sucking, nsfw, toxic megumi, fwb, slight angst, the traditional unedited fic
note. choose your fighter, megumi or sukuna 😈 and thank you to besties nie and ellie for editing this STOP SHOWING YOUR ANKLES CHIRREN
series masterlist | 01 | 02 | 03
Megumi slides your shirt down your shoulder to press kisses on the bare skin. Your head tilted to the side to give him easier access. You hate that you feel so weak around him, your hands gripping his thigh you’re currently straddling, already so breathless from his teasing ministrations.
“You should move back closer to campus,” he mutters at the juncture of your neck, pulling another soft gasp from you the moment his fingers dip inside your damp underwear. You feel him smile at your skin, using his deft fingers to push two of them inside your sopping hole. He pumps them in slowly, teasingly slow, coaxing your arousal to coat his fingers while you grind against his palm, eyes shut tight from the pulling knot in your stomach.
“It’s hard to fuck you when you’re a half-hour drive away.”
You scoff against him and roll your eyes. “I wonder why I got kicked out from the dorms in the first place.” Exactly two weeks ago, Megumi snuck in drunk and horny into your dorms, shaking you awake to get rid of his boner.
It was a sloppy quickie, mostly because he’s eaten brownies and got fuck drunk before stumbling beside your bed. The insensitive idiot left his rum bottle under your bed just as he wobbles back to his frat house, and as if things couldn’t get worse, there was a surprise dorm inspection the next day. Not only did they find cum stains all over your sheets, but your bed also reeked of weed and alcohol, resulting in a quick expulsion from the dorms.
If it weren’t for the help of one of your professors, Gojo-sensei, you wouldn’t have been able to find a decent, cheap apartment. It came with the price of rooming with one of his old acquaintances, a muscular, heavily tattooed guy who seemed to be a few years older than you.
He really wasn’t a bad roommate. Other than the fact he seemed really intimidating, the dude mostly kept to himself, either locked in his room or away for work that you don’t really get to see him that much. His place was decent too, your room bigger than the last, so it was a good deal, but as Megumi said, it’s really hard to fuck around when you’re so far away.
“Not my fault, you’re so weak for me, baby,” he taunts as you tighten around him, his pace increasing with his lips sucking love marks on your skin. You can’t help but snicker at his actions; if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was jealous.
But this was Megumi you were talking about – everyone knew he never got jealous.
“I don’t like you here.”
“Aw, sucks for you.”
“I’m serious,” he grips your waist tighter, drawing a drawled-out moan from you. Megumi rubs your clit with his thumb and swallows your moans through open-mouthed kisses, your fists balled into his hoodie. Fuck this, you’re completely aware he’ll never like you the way you like him, but it’s so hard to feel sad about that when he’s knuckle deep inside you and playing you like a violin. As much as you hated him and his pretty face, you have to admit his fingers were fucking magical.
Megumi nips at your lower lip before thrusting his fingers in and out of you at a numbing pace, not taking long until you’re creaming all over his hands. You pant at the orgasm, head falling back into his shoulder.
He brushes your hair away from your eyes and kisses the side of your head, the gesture way too sweet for someone who insisted on a ‘no-strings attached’ sexual relationship. But you don’t complain – this is like a dream come true for you – allowing him to leave a trail of kisses down your jaw instead, his wet hands squeezing your thighs in a possessive grip.
“You should just live with me. I’m not comfortable with the fact you live with a man.”
There’s a trace of jealousy behind his voice that you’d normally swoon at, but he’s pushing you to the edge and fucking around with your feelings so much that you can’t even enjoy the rare moment. You push yourself off him and reach for your discarded shorts on the floor, sliding the material over your legs while Megumi shamelessly stares at your ass behind you, his head resting on his hands.
“Megs, I barely even talk to the guy; he’s always away at work. You’ve really got nothing to worry about,” you tell him, making quick work of tidying your school packets just to ignore his heated gaze. “Besides, you and I aren’t even dating. Don’t get your panties in a twist.”
“You never hold back with your words, huh?”
You shot him a look, an angry glare that should be threatening, but the glint in his eyes just tells you he’s enjoying every second of it. “You like it.”
“Hmm, maybe I do,” Megumi tugs you back to the bed, effortlessly, as he flips you under him. In this position, he’s situated right between your bodies, hands clasped against one another. He’s absolutely stunning, bathed in the sliver of the moonlight, in your bed, no less. You’re a flurry of emotions – stuck between wanting to fuck him and kissing him, and then scream at him to let him know he should stop playing with your heart.
Megumi’s eyes darken as he traces over your silhouette, watching the way your chest falls heavily at his touches. He uses one hand to trace the tip of his finger from your breast down to your clothed core, a smirk painting his lips when you buck your hips up at the contact.
Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him.
“Just promise me you’re not letting others see your pretty pussy okay?” he tugs your shorts to the side, tongue darting out to lick at his lips at the sight of your glistening folds. You’ve lost count of the times he’s made you cum tonight with just his fingers; the raging hard-on hidden behind his sweatpants is proof that he’s quite different today by letting you get fuck-drunk on him first. Perhaps it’s his way of keeping you so helplessly wrapped around his finger, fucking you good enough that no one else comes second to him, and he knows this. He sees this from the desire pooled in your eyes.
Megumi scoots down lower to stare at your pussy, which is already embarrassing since you’re so wet down there. He simply sighs at your bare cunt before him, using two fingers to pull the lips apart, followed by a groan at the apparent slick. “This is all mine.”
In your lust-filled haze, you scrunch your eyebrows and sneer, “How about you mind your own business?”
“The fuck did you just say?” he chuckled, his warm breath tickling your inner thighs. “You’re mine, babe. Haven’t I fucked you enough to drill in that in your pretty little head?” Megumi doesn’t waste his time diving straight to your eager, awaiting core. Your hands fly down to tug at his hair as you grind your hips to his face, legs weak from his lips wrapped tightly around your clit. “You know I’ll get mad if you touch anyone else.”
“Fuck off, Megumi,” you spat out, “We’ve been fooling around for a year, and you still refuse to date me every time I ask you out officially. Listen, I understand you’re not ready for that kind of relationship, so you could at least respect that you don’t get the exclusivity of keeping me all to yourself.” Truly, this rebellion is so uncalled for and unexpected. The moment you had your eyes on him and made it your life’s mission to win him over, not once had you complained that he never wanted to take things a step further. But it’s been too long, too fucking long, and too many no baby’s already – your pride was beyond crushed. It was about time you set the boundaries this time, and you quiver around his skillful tongue, strong and firm as you rasp, “I’ll fuck whoever I want.”
“You’re lying.”
“What?”
“You love me,” Megumi pulls away from your clit with an audible pop, his face glistening from the smeared juices all over his cheeks. However, his eyes are narrowed, almost as if he’s scrutinizing you. You can’t focus on the fact he denied you of your orgasm because he’s looking at you so seriously, only to tilt his head to the side, a smirk playing on his lips. “It’s written all over your face.”
“Maybe I do, but are you deserving of it?” you push his head away and ignore the aching in your chest. Megumi shuffles close to you, pulling you in for another cuddling session before you hide under the sheets, making it clear you were not to be touched anymore. “Go home, Megs. I’m tired.”
In all honesty, you want him to stay. You want him to fight harder to win your approval back. He’s not a big cuddler, more of the type to pass out beside you after he’s gotten his own orgasm, but you’ve been so sure that maybe he might be different today. Under the sheets, your lip trembles in anticipation, eyes blinking wide at the dark silhouette outside your metaphorical shield. But as Megumi playfully slaps your ass, his warmth leaving the bed, you’re not really surprised.
He never stayed the night before – why would he do that now?
Silly girl, you chastised yourself.
“Fine. But I’ll be back tomorrow,” you hear him scuffle for his shoes outside, a smile evident in his voice as his words float around the silence of your apartment. “Wear my favourite set like a good girl for me?”
“Go away!”
Megumi’s laughter echoes all the way to where you curl yourself into a ball. You hate that his laughter alone makes your heart skip a beat, even if it doesn’t carry any affection behind then. “See you then, baby,” is all he says before the door slams shut, leaving you alone to your thoughts and insecurities all over again.
His lies were way too sweet – and you were too addicted to make him stop.
You’ve really hit rock bottom; that’s the only explanation for your actions. Megumi was coming over in a few hours, unsurprising that he chooses 3 AM of all times. Not only did it mean his frat brothers would be asleep, but it also meant that his other side bitches would assume he’s doing the same. You know, of course, you fucking know you’re not the only one, but it didn’t hurt any less.
The pain just keeps getting worse every time you think of him, said thoughts always comprised with your shirt trapped between your teeth and your hands down your pants. There’s no denying you’re addicted to him, though being addicted to a never-ending heartbreak was a different story.
A story which you’re not ready to find out yet, so you dress up in your sexiest dress and take the nearest cab, heading to a place where you definitely shouldn’t be.
Two more hours before Megumi arrives. Two more hours before you fall into that endless cycle of fucking and him leaving you alone, promising he’ll be back tomorrow, before it all repeats and traces back to square one. He’s not going to stop, and neither are you, so where was any of this supposed to go now? He doesn’t want you, not in that way, that very much is clear – so why was it so hard to let go of him?
Deep down at the back of your mind, you know your answer. It’s because, like the lovesick fool you are, you’re still hoping that maybe someday he’ll look at you the way you look at him.
Fuck it, is all you think of as you flash the bouncer your ID, not missing the way his eyes fall down your tits that are so close to popping out of your dress a minute longer than welcomed. Snatching your card away from him, you push against the crowd, immediately regretting coming here as the loud thumping of music and stench of sex and alcohol washes over your senses.
You make a beeline for the empty bar, save for the bartender who had his back turned to you as he wipes the glasses over.
You clear your throat to make your presence known. The first thing you see is a broad back, thick lines of dark tattoos outlined even in his white button-up shirt. He places the glasses down and moves expertly before you, sliding shot glasses next to others before procuring a drink out of nowhere, a greeting about to leave his lips when you both make eye contact.
The drink stays still on his hands, blinking for a moment at your equally stupefied face before he says, “It’s you.”
“S-Sukuna,” you greet back, smiling at your roommate. You’ve barely seen the guy the past few weeks other than sleepy good morning’s, and I’ll take the trash out tonight before both of you disappeared into your own worlds.
Sukuna is...well, you don’t know, exactly. It’s not like he’s around much for you to make a proper judgment of, but he’s a pretty nice roommate, filling up the fridge whenever you guys run out of beer. There were times he nods at you as a greeting before leaving for work, too, leaving you alone at the house from midnight all the way to the morning. Other than thinking your roommate is pretty unique from his face tattoos and roguish handsomeness that contrasts his rather frequent sleepy mumbles, you’ve failed to realize he could actually be like a normal human. Seeing him stand before you, his forearms lined with veins and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, taut waist emphasized by a black vest, you swallow audibly.
He’s entirely different from the guy you often see passed out on the couch, but it’s a welcomed sight, nonetheless.
Sukuna’s actually...pretty hot.
Hiding the thumping of your heart – whether out of nervousness or it’s just trying to match the beat of the music – you beam up at him, eyes glossed over with curiosity as he reciprocates with a more mischievous grin.
If he’s easily read your mind that you are indeed attracted to him, he makes no comment about it, focusing on hearing your voice over the music instead.
He leans over to you, not pulling away even as your lips faintly graze his ear. Fuck, he’s got piercings too. You greedily drink in his masculine scent, thankful that the music thumping is so loud he won’t hear the frenzy mess inside your ribcage.
“I didn’t know you worked here. Heck, I didn’t know you were a bartender, but I guess the irregular sleep patterns make sense somehow.”
“What did you think I was, sweetheart?”
His deep voice reverberates all the way down to your toes, his throaty chuckle hoarse. “I-I don’t know,” you pull away nervously, blinking up at him way too innocently. “A gangster, to be honest,” you blurted out. Sukuna tilts his head to the side, and you immediately raise your hands beside your head as you mull over how offensive your words might’ve been. “I don’t mean anything offensive by it, I swear! It was just my first impression!”
“First impressions are usually false. Anyway. It’s fine,” he shrugs, resuming his task of wiping over the glasses.
His hands were so big, his fingers long and slender...your attention is drawn to the adept manner of how he wipes the cloth using the tip of his finger, reaching behind him to get another glass, all without keeping his eyes off of yours. It leaves much room to muse about what else he could do with those hands, and you squirm at your seat, opting to look at his face instead since that would be more polite than eye-fucking his hands.
Sukuna smirks, that cunning twinkle in his eyes matching the dim lights of the bar. Somehow, you suddenly feel so lightheaded.
“If it makes you feel better, I thought you were a shy girl at first, but your boy toy brings a different side of you every time he comes around.”
You squeak in embarrassment, “You’re home by then?!”
“Only sometimes,” he reassures with a laugh. “But I’ve heard enough,” Right. He’s older and definitely more experienced than your sexual escapades with Megumi – this must be nothing new to him by now, and yet, your skin flushes heated. “Don’t look too flustered, sweetheart. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of that,” he nods at you, “You don’t look very happy with him, though.”
“Tch, now you’re assessing my relationship status?”
“I don’t have to,” he shrugs, the gesture so damn reassured. Chuckling at your apparent frown, Sukuna shakes his head to himself. “It’s written all over your face you’re not satisfied with something. You wouldn’t be here if you were feeling good in the first place.”
“How much have you heard?”
“Oh, I don’t care about how you scream his name. That’s none of my business,” he grumbles under his breath rather bitterly – but that could just be the music messing with you. Sukuna holds your gaze as he sets the final glass down before you, his elbows languidly resting on the counter that separates you both. You’re left staring at him in wonder, watching the way he pours the drink right in front of you, the movement of his lips so intoxicating and even erotic you nearly didn’t hear him say, “But as your roommate, I wish you’d stop inviting him around and just kick him out already. He doesn’t like you, you know.”
He doesn’t like you. Megumi doesn’t like you – you know that already.
Glare deepening at your surprisingly nosy roommate, you take the glass from him and down it in one go. Sukuna’s brows shot up in awe, arms crossed against his puffed-out chest as you slam the glass down.
You were fuming.
“You don’t know a single fucking thing about me.”
“That’s right, I don’t,” he answers without skipping a beat, “But we men, we understand each other,” You open your mouth to retort, silenced by Sukuna’s finger pressing against your lips. You freeze at the contact, and Sukuna makes use of your state, continuing right where he left from.
“Listen, take it from me as free advice. I’ll even put your drink on the house.”
Really, nothing is stopping you from biting off this guy’s finger, but he looks like he knows something you don’t that you just choose to keep your mouth shut.
Satisfied at your decision, Sukuna smiles sweetly, reaching over to tuck your hair behind your ear. The gesture puts you under his spell, and he lingers there a little longer, massaging the lobes of your ears before he pulls back just as fast, almost as if he never touched you in the first place.
You fight back the urge to huff.
Why were men so complicated? One moment, they were hot, then cold the next. You would just never get it.
“That guy you’ve been mooning over for who knows how long? He doesn’t give a fuck about you. You’re just someone who warms his cock every now and then, but I guarantee he’s thinking about someone else in his head when he’s with you,” he announces straightforwardly, not giving you the time to recover before he shrugs like his words didn’t just slap you in the face. “Just call quits on him, sweetheart. There’s really no need to waste such a pretty face. Ever heard of the saying – there’s plenty of fish in the sea?” he pushes another drink to you, “Drink up and loosen a little. With a face and body like that, you’ll find someone better soon.”
“I highly doubt I can find someone better when all everyone sees is my appearance.”
“I don’t,” he hinted with dark eyes, “But I assure you it might be what people see first. You do have a face of an angel; men are into that shit.”
Taking the drink from him with a loud sigh, you feel yourself weaken. You bury your head in your hands, replaying all the memories you’ve had with Megumi. It’s foreseeable that almost all of them consisted of you two fucking, nothing but a faint memory of two where Megumi actually cared enough to perform aftercare. The thought makes you wince; he really is an ass, but you’re also so hopelessly infatuated with him that you refuse to acknowledge the truth.
“Megs and I...we’re just complicated, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I swear!” your defenses are hopelessSukuna’s knowing smirk, the man holding back a snigger from your silent rage. “Besides, maybe his disinterested nature is what made me attracted to him in the first place. I like the mystery. It’s not bad for a girl to enjoy searching for answers every now and then.”
“Except he’s already given you a concrete no, and you’re the only one still hanging onto him,” he reminds you. At your dropped jaw, Sukuna has the audacity to wink. That motherfucker –“Pressed a button, kitten?” he pats your head, leaving you to be even more riled up. “Don’t be sad. It’s not like he’s the only guy who can make you feel good.” As if a light bulb went up in his head, Sukuna hid his smile by turning his back to you, pretending to be engrossed in the drinks all laid out in front of him. But even with his face obscured from your view, his words rang thick and clear: “In fact, I bet you your cute ass someone else can change your former perspective on what pleasure really is.”
“Yeah, like who?” you snorted sarcastically, “You?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” he faces you, absolutely shameless as he eyes your cleavage. Sukuna clenches his jaw at the tempting view before him, sliding his gaze back to yours to look for the answers in your face. “If you want a demonstration, that is.”
Sukuna hasn’t really touched you or even spoke explicitly, but you’re breathing hard anyways, subconsciously clawing the countertop.
You don’t know if it’s your voice or his that’s ringing your ears, the words what’s holding you back? the last thing you hear before grabbing him by the collar, leaning over the counter to taste his lips. Sukuna smiles at the kiss, his large hands cupping your face in them. His thumb traces circles over your jaw as you greedily suck on his lip, uncaring that you’re making out with your roommate in a public place.
As if remembering that he’s still at work, Sukuna pulls away for a moment, diving in for one last peck that has you giggling adorably. Sukuna’s grin grows wider at your flushed cheeks, snapping his fingers at someone from a distance. “Geto, break!”
The guy who must be Geto popped his head out of the backroom, frowning at Sukuna’s words when his gaze lands on you and the not-so-subtle needy grip you have on Sukuna’s collar. His mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape before he gives a thumb up, disappearing afterward.
That’s all Sukuna needs before he’s leaving the counter, breathing in your panicked squeals as he picks you up, your legs flailing to wrap around his.
You’re giggling and laughing all the way to the back of the club, your hands tugging at his undercut and his own squeezing at your ass. Sukuna kicks the door of the restroom open, which is thankfully clean (you made the right choice choosing a luxurious club), settles you down before him, and locking the stall.
His lips are on yours in an instant, his hands tugging off your dress and scowling at it as if it’s offensive. “Calm down,” you tease him, “They didn’t do anything wrong.”
“They were a fucking tease the whole night,” he glares at the lacy cups of your bra, his breathing laboured as he cups them. You throw your head back until it thumps at the door, teeth muffling the moans that threaten to erupt. Sukuna unclasps the material in one swift movement, surprising with just how many times he’s done this before. “Fucking gorgeous tits – why the fuck does your boy toy not want to keep you to himself?”
“He’s – oh fuck,” you scrape Sukuna’s scalp, his tongue wrapping around the swollen bud. He caresses the other one not to leave it unattended, and he’s grinding you against the door so hard, his dick poking at your dress leaving very little to the imagination.
Sukuna chuckles at your broken response, rutting his hips in such a sensual manner you didn’t think he was capable of. “You were saying?”
You glare at him from under your chin, but he can’t take you seriously while he’s sucking at your tit like a child. This man is brave enough to nip it with his teeth, the sting making you hiss and buck against him. “He’s possessive,” you breathe through your mouth, a little in disbelief you’re casually thinking about him while Sukuna gets down on his knees. “He wants me to be exclusive with him, but he’s free to fuck who he pleases.”
Sukuna rubs both palms in front of his face as if preparing to devour a meal, which he’ll do so soon enough. He pushes your dress and bunches it at your waist, tugging your underwear to the side before he groans. The sound is so deep and masculine, so utterly frustrated for some reason you can’t understand.
“Now that’s unfair,” he mumbles absentmindedly, peppering your pelvis with kisses. The feverish touch of his warm lips on your already burning skin has you clutching at the door, feeling your legs weaken.
His eagerness and distrait acts of body worship drive you crazy. Megumi is good at making you feel desired and fuckable – that much you know from his habits of pushing his pants down at pretty much anywhere as long as you were around, claiming you’re a walking ‘boner trigger.’ Sukuna, on the other hand, was a lot more patient and attentive to his movements, taking the time to make you feel you were more than just a body and a hole. It’s odd, hella fucking odd, because this man is older than you and a friend of your professors, but did you care? No. Did you want him to fuck your brains out in a public restroom? Fuck yes.
A wanton moan paints the wall as Sukuna slides your thong off just above your knee, his eyes closed as he buries his cheek in it. You look down with wide eyes, hands grabbing at nothing and everything at the same time. From the looks of it, he’s sniffing your sex, the sight so outright erotic that you only moan louder.
How was it possible to be this much turned on?
By the time he’s opened his eyes, his entire demeanour’s shifted. Gone was the enthusiastic and sly bartender, now replaced with a much more animalistic entity residing beside it.
Before you could make yourself comfortable, Sukuna hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, the tip of your heel grazed against the tight walls of the stall. He licks a flat stripe from your hole that clenches around nothing, moving upwards in such a passionate, languid manner he’s making you forget you’re literally in a fucking restroom. Your breasts heave up and down from how you’re struggling to breathe, his tongue pushing past through the tight ring of resistance until he’s plunged through your core. You wobble above him, remaining upright only by his arm pushing your back flat on your under boob.
Sukuna slurps at your cunt yearningly, the hums he gives every now and then, making your core vibrate. You grind your pussy on his face, the black marks lined on his face glistening.
He moves to suck at your clit, transitioning after each beat to slurping the swollen bud and kissing your lips as if he was making out with it. You’re sure you’re making a mess on his face, but he doesn’t give you time to feel embarrassed about it. He spreads your legs further until your muscles ache from the stretch, the pain accompanied by your stomach tightening.
“S-Sukuna, oh, oh yeah,” you bang your fist on the door, his smug chuckles sending you over the edge. Your pupils blow wide as you feel the impending orgasm weigh down on you heavily, about to send you into overdrive by his tongue swiping at your lips, teasing you to give it to him more, give it to him harder. Turning your head down to warn him you’re coming, the words die on your throat because he’s already looking at you, his cheeks and nose smothered with your shining slick, and the brat is smirking. “Shit, you’re a little—” Sukuna cuts you off by generously sucking your clit one more time, pulling the muscle taut just to show you that it’s rolling between his lips. It looks fucking insane and filthy that you come right there and then.
Your orgasm is so strong that you actually slip from your heels. A scream from you is knocked back into you just as fast, Sukuna moving quick and graceful in one fluid movement. He catches your leg and shoves you against the door, gripping at your hips until you’re bending forward, ass perked, and wiggling just for him.
For a split second, you’re sure you hear the unbuckling of a belt, but it all fades in your clouded mind.
Sukuna enters you in one thrust, the sensation of being filled up so soon rendering you speechless. Literally absolutely silent, palms flat on the door and tongue lolled out, all the burning in your body focused on your centre.
He releases a grunt at finally being inside your plush, warm walls. Sukuna allows you to get used to his length for a solid minute, both of you catching your breath in the meantime. Your tits are sprawled out, and you’re a shaky mess, feeling nothing less of dirty yet so aroused that you can’t do anything about it. Sukuna thrusts in slowly at first, and that’s when you feel the size difference between him and Megumi. Megs was definitely blessed in the dick department, and he’s always been so cocky about it, but goddamn, Sukuna was beyond huge.
You think you could cum again just from him filling you up. He was stretching you out so well that he leaves behind a faint burn, making you feel as if it’s your first time all over again – all for the good reasons.
He soon begins to set his pace, one of his hands tugging at your ponytail so he could see your glossy eyes and mouth hanging open. Sukuna scoffs at your fucked out state, too cock-hungry even to form coherent sentences. His length is slipping past your folds in such a tantalizing, delicious state, the prominent veins of his cock kissing the bumpy ridges of your walls. He was right – you’re definitely changing your perspective on pleasure because you don’t think you’ve felt this good in your life.
With Megumi, it was mostly always about his own release. With Sukuna, he’s making sure you get to feel inch by luscious inch slipping out of you before he slides them back in, his deep moans the dirtiest thing you’ve ever heard.
“Aw, look at you,” he coos, kissing you sideways sloppily. Sukuna reaches the edges of your lips but licks at your skin anyway. His canines revealed to graze at your skin. It’s so animalistic, so carnal, and he’s fucking you with such primal need that you forget everything you once knew about sex. “Your pretty pussy is drooling for cock, sweetheart. Such a dirty little thing, taking me like this.”
Now, this was lust as its purest form, the rhythm of his hips so sinful you’ve lost faith in everything but how he’s making you feel.
The walls are pounding with the bass boosting outside, but soon even the loud volume of the synthesized music is drowned by your whimpers. Sukuna lets go of your hair to place his hands on your hips. If he was dominant before, he only encourages you to scream his name louder, realizing that he was still being nice seconds ago, but now he’s the one controlling you.
He pounds roughly into you until you’re crying, your drool dribbling from your lips and small patches dropping to the floor. It’s the same with your cunt. You’re so wet that you can feel squirts of cum staining his pants and your legs. Sukuna doesn’t stop praising you on how you’re so perfect, how your cunt is the tightest he’s ever fucked, and now he gets why your boy toy could never really let you go. In the middle of it all, he manages to slip in a comment that maybe Megumi’s dick isn’t big enough to stretch you out because you’re wrapped around him like a vice, to which you respond that he’s just massive.
“Fuck yeah, I am,” he agrees cockily, eyes narrowed at where his length kept being swallowed by your pussy. “I’m fucking destroying you, sweetheart. You’ll be broken by the end of this, fuck.”
His words are like ambrosia you’re getting drunk on, the filthiness of his mouth fuelling your desire. Your body heats up at the same time that familiar tingling tightens in your stomach, and you blindly stretch your arm out behind him. Sukuna easily reads your mind and takes your hand, looping his fingers with yours. His palm is right above your knuckle, and the angle hurts your arm so bad you cry harder.
“Please, please, please,” you beg him and snap your hips back to meet his dick thrust by thrust, “I’m so fucking close, please—”
“I got you, sweetheart,” he leans down for a quick peck at your hand, increasing his pace as he twitches inside you. Sukuna is thrown off rhythm by the way you grip down on his dick harder, his breath stuttering as a result. You wrap your fingers around him as your second orgasm that night crashes down onto you in waves, his cock on the brink of being spent from how you’re milking him.
He pounds deep and slow into you, relishing in the warmth of your cunt that he’s losing his mind, basically in the same state as you are now. You’re panting and sweating, cursing at each thrust, and he stills for a moment, pulling out so fast that you wince at the emptiness. Sukuna pumps his dick with his free hand and shoots his load onto your back, his moans guttural and hoarse. You grimace at the warm cum now coating your back because there’s no way you’re using your dress to wipe that away.
Sukuna chuckles at your silence, probably noting in the way you frown at him. “Sorry, sweetheart,” he runs a hand through his hair, his cock growing hard despite releasing a huge load. “Next time, I’ll cum in your mouth. I want to see you swallow me like a good girl.”
“Next time?”
You think you’re so sly by scoffing at him, but Sukuna isn’t stupid. He sees the way you light up at his implications, and he walks closer to you, a hand wrapped around your throat before you pull you flush against his chest. You gasp at the lack of air, blindly patting behind you, but your hand only grazes at his cock, which twitches excitedly at the contact.
“Yeah, next time,” he affirms with a low growl, licking from your jaw down to your neck. It’s so hot, he’s so hot, and you’ve never felt this sexy in your life that you soon become on par with him, pussy clenching around nothing. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not leaving unless I’ve changed your mind,” he teases the base of your throat to squeeze it tighter, the swift movement of him filling you once more escalating to a tenfold. Your struggle to breathe causes you to clamp down on him hard and Sukuna’s chuckles falter into a quick inhale that’s so satisfying to witness. “What do you think? Still need more demonstrations?”
“Yes,” you choke out. Sukuna’s victorious and award-winning smile is hidden at the sweaty column of your neck where he leaves little kisses in its wake, ones that soon turn into something of a harsh bite. “Yes, please, show me more. Need you, need you so bad, you fuck me better than he does.”
Sukuna does more than show you that night. He makes you feel a thousand more nerves set on fire until you’re nothing but a moaning mess. After all, what better way to change someone’s mind than to mess with it on the inside?
In the end, when it comes down to it, your lies were way too sweet – and he was too addicted to make you stop.
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inazuma bound headcanons
their last goodbyes before you depart to the land of eternity.
feat. childe, diluc, kaeya, kazuha, xiao
warnings : inazuma spoilers, slight angst but mainly fluff
❀ childe
despite inazuma being a place not many have ventured to and from, childe isn't the slightest worried for your safety. he knows the dangers of the storming seas surrounding inazuma and of the situation the people of inazuma are in due to the vision hunt decree.
but he prides in the fact that you're strong enough to handle what inazuma has to offer to you. abyss, you've defeated him in battle, there's no way you can't handle a little thunderstorm.
the cheerful chirp of your name alerts your attention to the ginger haired harbinger as he approaches you on the streets of liyue harbor. you raise an eyebrow at him, knowing full well that he shouldn't be here and should be stationed at dragonspine.
before you can scold him about his responsibilities, he scoops you into his arms and spins you around. his laughter rings in your ears and you can't help but smile. any and all thoughts of being mad at him are washed away as soon as his eyes meet yours.
the rest of your day is spent with him, as he won't be able to see you off before your trip to inazuma. he buys you trinkets, food, slings an arm around your shoulders all so you could be reminded of him and how fun it is to spend time with him.
"you know, it's a shame i wasn't stationed in inazuma next. i would have loved to explore it with you and fight at your side for a while longer," childe muses to you as the streets of liyue begin to light up for the evening. his hand is in yours and you squeeze it in reassurance.
"i'll miss you, a lot." your heart swells at his words, pulling him into a comforting embrace. your lips curve into a smile when his arms tighten themselves around you and you can't help but think that you'll miss him too.
"don't forget to send me letters about your visit to inazuma! or else i'll go over there and hunt you down myself, [name]!"
❀ diluc
diluc is not too thrilled to hear that you're departing to inazuma. not that he has anything against the nation, but he knows how hard it is to enter and leave and he knows of the situation the people under the shogunate are in.
but he isn't going to harp you on making sure you can protect yourself. he has faith in you that you'll have a safe voyage over and stay alive while on your journey in the land of eternity. he's seen you singlehandedly defeat and restore dvalin; there's no need to worry about your wellbeing.
his hand brushes against your cheek, moving the hair that curtained your slumbering face. you look so peaceful, so at ease resting against his lap as if you aren't about to set off overseas with no guarantee of your safe return.
you stir from your short slumber, leaning into his touch and diluc cannot help the small smile forming on his lips. "did you sleep well?" he asks, watching you as you slowly get up from his lap. you hum in response and stretch your limbs.
"have you finished packing for your trip?" diluc's question earns a slight frown from you and he raises an eyebrow. "you didn't finish preparing for inazuma, even though you're leaving soon?" diluc's assumption is proven correct when you begin twiddling your fingers and struggling to find a good excuse.
a sigh leaves his lips, getting up and offering you a hand. you bashfully take it. diluc hoists you up and you let out a little laugh when he sends an unamused frown your way. "i'm sorry! i was supposed to finish my preparations today, but i wanted to see you before i had to go."
it's a good thing that diluc has a soft spot for you, otherwise he would have given you the scolding of a lifetime. instead, he gently grasps your hand and flicks your forehead with his free hand before leading you inside the dawn winery so you could properly prepare for your journey overseas.
"i can't accompany you to inazuma, unfortunately, but i'll wish you a safe journey. take care, [name], i'll see you when you return."
❀ kaeya
kaeya is intrigued when you tell him that you'd be leaving for inazuma anytime soon. it's not often that people willingly want to enter storming seas and a land that isn't fond of people traveling to and from.
if anything, kaeya wants to tag along and fight by your side in inazuma. there's not much to do in mondstadt anyways. with jean and diluc keeping everyone in check kaeya didn't really have anything to do besides stir up some drama between the people of mondstadt or provoke enemies of mondstadt.
but he knows that shirking from his duties as captain of the calvary just to accompany you to inazuma wouldn't fare well with jean.
"i'm sad to see that our journey together ends here," kaeya tells you during your final visit to angel's share, for a while anyways. you roll your eyes and gently shove him with your shoulder. you know he's trying to pull at your strings from the way his sapphire eye glimmers in mischief.
"it's not going to be forever, you know. i'll be back before you know it," you reply, taking a sip of your drink. "you're acting like i'm going to inazuma and dying there." you bite back a smile when kaeya sighs dramatically and leans his entire bodyweight on you. a groan leaves your lips from the pressure.
"it's like i can still hear their voice." you snort and shove kaeya off of you, earning a snicker from the taller male. "say, [name], why don't we leave the bar and have a night of our own? just the two of us before you leave."
you pretend to ponder at his question for a moment, but say yes. you don't miss the way his lips curl into a feline smile, or the way his hand encases your own as he leads you out of the tavern and into the chilly evening of mondstadt.
but the chill doesn't bother you. not with kaeya's warm hand intertwined with yours as the two of you laugh and chatter in the warm glow of the street lamps lining the streets.
"are you sure you don't want me to tag along? wouldn't want you to miss me, haha. come back soon. don't keep me waiting."
❀ kazuha
knowing you're about to take off to the nation he escaped from puts him on edge, if he's being honest here. he knows of how brutal raiden shogun can be, stealing the visions of the innocent so she can remain eternal.
yet, seeing the reassuring smile adorning your face calms his nerves. he knows of your strength, of the rumors and tales of you fighting a dragon and a fatui harbinger, but he can't help but worry nonetheless.
his hand gently grasps your own, his fingers drawing shapes along the curves of your knuckles and brushing over the callouses that have formed on your fingertips. your head rests atop his shoulders as the two of you sit on the deck of the crux underneath the stars.
"is something on your mind?" you ask when he pauses in his ministrations. kazuha sighs, pausing briefly before replying to you.
"will you be okay? alone in inazuma, i mean. my homeland is a beautiful and wonderful place, but there is a corrupt and unjust leader ruling over it. i fear you'll be harmed and-"
"and you won't see me again?" you smile and pull away to meet your companion's gaze. there is a storm of worry in kazuha's ruby eyes and you hold his jaw in your hand, thumb rubbing calming circles on his cheek when he leans into your touch and holds your wrist.
"i'm stronger than you think, you've seen that firsthand. i'll be okay, kazuha." your reassuring words seemingly relax the inazuman traveller, but you can still sense the uncertainty surrounding him.
kazuha presses a gentle kiss against your inner palm before sliding his hand up to interlock your hands together.
"should anything happen to you, the wind will guide us together and i shall protect you. stay safe, dear [name]."
❀ xiao
xiao is a bit... unsettled when you give him the news that you're leaving for inazuma in a few days. it isn't often that you get to see him due to his job as one of liyue's yakshas and your travels across teyvat's lands.
he knows you'll be okay in inazuma, but he has no jurisdiction nor power in inazuma. his responsibility lies in liyue and he cannot leave until his duty to protect the nation of contracts has been fulfilled. yet, he wants to accompany you so he can assure your safety and survival against the stormy seas of inazuma.
"oh, there you are," your voice calms the worrying adeptus, even more so when your presence is beside him. he doesn't respond to you verbally, but he spares you a glance before fixing his gaze back to guili plains.
there's a comfortable silence between the two of you, neither of you feeling the need to speak up. but xiao's gentle voice breaks it with a statement you've been anticipating. "it's not too late to stay in liyue so i can dispose of those who harm you."
you turn to face him, not surprised at all to see his piercing eyes already staring at you. "i have to, i need to find my sibling and meeting the shogunate is the only way forward." his lips form a thin line at your answer.
your fingers inch forward to touch xiao's hand; he flinches when your fingers graze his out of instinct. but he grasps your hand before it can retreat, squeezing it as if it would make you stay beside him.
but he knows you have to go, have to find answers on the whereabouts of your sibling even if it meant risking your life.
"if i can't protect you, promise me you'll protect yourself. if you were to get hurt... forget it. just make sure you stay alive."
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stay in bed.
| bucky x reader | fluff | angst |
Bucky drabbles 🥺❤️
anon requested. Bucky fluff of spending the day in bed 🥺 maybe after the reader has an anxiety attack or something shakes her up?
“You need to wake up, Y/N.”
Fear was laced in Bucky’s voice, strained from the grip you held on his neck. You robbed the soldier of oxygen, overpowering him when he slept. He tried to pry you off of him without hurting you, but you’d managed to get the upper hand, even when you had no conscious awareness of your actions.
You were shaking and screaming, nightmares plaguing your mind and making you violent in your dream state.
“Y/N, doll, it’s me, it’s James. You’re having a nightmare, whatever you’re afraid of... it isn’t real... Please wake up,” he begged hoarsely, struggling to inhale.
Your training with the avengers as a super soldier left Bucky with little chance, and your nightmare-fueled violence heightened your strength, taking control of your unconscious mind. You’d never intentionally hurt Bucky, but your night terrors that you were convinced were real told a different story.
.
You were back again. Back at hydra headquarters, where you’d been abducted from the avengers team. Tortured for information and left to die in a desolate wasteland of ice somewhere in Russia.
It felt real, tangible. Their hands were on you, their weapons, and your body was burning from pain and violating. Scars were left on your body from the wounds inflicted, violence you’d never heal from.
It was happening again.
But this time, you hard a small voice in the distance.
“It isn’t real.”
.
You slowly forced your eyes open, breaking out of the confines of your nightmare that imprisoned your mind, holding you hostage with fear.
You realized you were choking Bucky, and his silver eyes were shadowed with fear and hurt. Horror washed over you in bitter cold waves, and you drew back. He coughed once you released his throat, and guilt rose like acid in your throat.
“I— I’m so sorry... I didn’t...” you stammered, receding from your husband.
He sat up, catching his breath and fighting to draw oxygen into his lungs. Tears burned your eyes and rolled down your cheeks, nausea bubbling in your stomach.
“It’s okay, I’m fine. Are you okay?” Bucky asked, reaching out to you the moment he recovered.
You slowly shook your head, breaking down into sobs. Bucky moved you onto his lap, hushing your apologies and letting you cry into his chest.
He was used to your nightmares, probably more than you even. Bucky spent many nights up with you, rocking you back to sleep or getting up to watch Netflix or bake in the middle of the night, anything to quiet the demons in your mind.
“Talk to me doll, tell me what happened,” he breathed, gently rocking you.
“I was back in the hydra headquarters,” you sniffled, unwilling to disclose the details of your nightmare. You gave him enough information that he understood but didn’t leave you needing to discuss the horrors. Silence fell after that, Bucky rubbing your back and pressing your palm to his chest, letting you feel his heartbeat to calm you down.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” you apologized, tenderly kissing his throat.
“I know, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re safe, just rest.”
Your mind refused to let your body sleep, and you lied awake in his arms for hours. He wasn’t able to sleep knowing you were awake, and the two of you snuggled close and whispered softly about sweet things, in an attempt to distract you.
.
Bucky had convinced you to spend the day in bed, both of you calling in sick to work. Bucky brought tea and breakfast in bed, turning on the television to your comfort show.
You laid in his arms, your hands trembling a bit as you held steaming tea. Vibranium fingers gently dragged through your hair, soothing your anxieties.
A show droned on softly in the background, and you stayed buried beneath the covers with Bucky. He rubbed your back, your head resting on his stomach. One of your legs were thrown over his, your body draped over him, allowing you to cling to your husband.
You were always exhausted after night terrors, your mind and body giving out. You mindlessly watched Netflix, barely focusing on anything. Bucky encouraged you to try to eat, and you did your best for him, but ended up only consuming a few bites of fruit and half of the tea.
He didn’t stop rubbing your back, knowing it was the best way to soothe you after the nightmares. It forced your body to release the tension, and the rhythmic movements lulled you into a sleepy state. You fought against the urge to drift off, scared of having more nightmares.
“I’ve got you now, I’m not going to let you get that deep,” Bucky promised softly.
Your eyes slowly felt heavy, and eventually you gave in, trusting that Bucky would stay with you.
Bucky watched you sleep, gently rubbing your back in a steady rhythm, hoping it would ward off your nightmares, your mind registering his touch on you. The house was quiet, and you were finally able to get some restful sleep, allowing both of you to relax.
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god knows you tried | manjiro (mikey) sano
pairing: bonten!mikey x reader
genre: angst
warnings: heartbreak, attempt suicide(?), original characters/manga plot (pls do not read if you haven’t read the manga D: ), mentions of religion, implied sex (no smut ok!)
summary: god knows you tried your best. if only mikey knew how hard you’re trying too then perhaps this love wouldn’t hurt as much as you thought.
words: 1823 words
a/n: i think this sucks but... i hope you enjoy it! <3
god knows you tried.
you watched the ex-toman boys eagerly catching up with takemichi quietly, hands resting against your chin as you took in the rare sight in front of you with a sad smile etched on your lips. this was the happy ending that mikey had sacrificed for everyone but himself.
“a penny for your thoughts?” mitsuya asks, plopping down next you on to the stone steps. that’s right, it’s june 19th 2018, toman’s formation day anniversary and everyone had gathered around to re-open the time capsule from twelve years ago. “hm? nothing much. just missing a particular someone.” you hummed, dragging your fingers across the ground to draw a heart. mitsuya nods understandingly, knowing not to pry any deeper anymore and for that, you’re thankful.
crouching down, you hesitantly picked up the the blue coloured envelope you left behind twelve years ago. unsure if you’d wanna read the contents of the letter your naive self written back then. with a deep breath, you slipped open the cover. revealing a photo of candid photo of you and mikey leaning on each other asleep with your mouths wide open taken by emma.
dearest y/n,
i wonder what you’re doing right now?
are you perhaps finally studying in film?
has that idiot manjiro finally proposed to you?
or are you the one who proposed to him?
“y/n, you’ll be with me for a long time right?” mikey asked, staring at the very sky that you both loved oh so very much with your hands intertwined. having grown up with each other since young had pretty much given you both the illusion that the two of you will always be a part of each other’s world. and you hoped with every inch of your heart that mikey wants it to be that way forever. “of course. you’re my heaven and home mikey. i wouldn’t go anywhere else without you by my side.” you squeezed his hand in assurance, knowing that at this very moment, mikey was at his most truthful and vulnerable self with you.
whatever it is, i hope that you’re living the happy life with him that you’ve been dreaming of.
signing off,
toman’s honorary member, y/n l/n.
everyone was silent. even hakkai who had been making fun of everyone’s letter kept quiet. the boys knew how much you loved and you still love mikey. each opting to give you the concerned and sympathetic look. you could feel you heart breaking even more for you knew you weren’t doing anything that you had hoped for back then.
you felt mitsuya’s comforting hand softly grabbing onto yours. “well that’s depressing,” you chuckled softly, wanting to get rid of the awkward tension in the air as soon as possible. “let’s grab some ramen, i’m starving.” and with that, you let your feet drag you away from the heavy atmosphere with your head hung low.
perhaps the hurt wouldn't be as painful if you weren’t the only one who knew what kind of path mikey had chosen to go down. you see, when mikey turned his back against all his closest friend, you had the privilege of staying as his only constant thanks to your stubborn nature but even with that, you weren’t enough to keep him away from his dark impulses. mikey chose the path to destruction and the only thing that you could do was watch from the sidelines and be there when he shows up at wee hours of the night to borrow your body. but you didn't mind. it was during these most intimate moments with mikey that you finally get to feel a piece of him again when he spews the words of “i love you” so effortlessly.
god knows that you tried.
“mikey those aren’t good for you.” you frowned, snatching the capsule away from his hand seconds before he could flush it down his system. “what the fuck y/n?” the angered male snaps. you felt yourself falling and back colliding against the hard ground. opening your eyes, you see mikey pining you down with nothing but void darkness in his eyes. “i’ll fucking kill you if you do it again.” mikey taunts, he was serious and you know it.
“then kill me mikey.” the words slipped out of your tongue instantly. you were tired. tired of trying. you don't know what else can you possibly do to help mikey anymore. mikey says nothing but got off you. he dusted himself and without sparing you single glance, he showed you his back again, walking out of the door where sanzu was already holding open for him. “get her home.” you heard him say.
it’s been a week since you guys opened the time capsule. nothing much had happened since then except you’ve been spending more time with hina considering how she’s often over to mitsuya’s studio for gown fitting. you admired and envy her love story with takemichi. but who were you to complain? you were lucky enough that mikey still wanted you around. so it shouldn’t hurt so much when you sae her adorning the beautiful wedding gown that mitsuya had spent months on tailoring.
you let out a tired yawn, stretching your arms above your head as you finished touching up the last few bits of editing on your laptop. you looked over at the calendar on your table, a pink heart circled over today’s date and smiled. “mitsuya, i’m gonna knock off first okay?” you announced, tidying up your table and reaching out for the bag of the familiar favourite deserts of a certain male.
mitsuya nods, “thank you for your hard work y/n”. he flashes you a smile, eye slowly trailing to the white plastic bag dangling from your side as you waved goodbye, back facing him and walking away. “you’re going to see him aren't you?” you stopped in your tracks. “i know he never left you. plus you got a bag filled with dorayakis and taiyakis. that’s pretty obvious.” mitsuya chuckles. you always knew mitsuya to be perceptive but it never once occured to you that your best friend who is also your boss would ever catch on to the secret you’ve been hiding for twelve years.
“how did yo-”
“be careful y/n.” mitsuya waves you off, going back to whatever he was doing. a fond smile creeps onto your lips as you watched mitsuya working hard. “thank you mitsuya. for everything. really,” you whispered, but loud enough for the dual dyed coloured hair boy to look up again when you walked away.
you made your way towards the secluded vip section of the club through swarms of body swaying around you until you saw the familiar tall pink haired male standing outside the golden door.
“hey sanzu,” you greeted, barely audible over the loud booming music. you were about to push the door open when sanzu towers over you immediately, denying you of your entrance. you looked at sanzu in confusion, “it’s me, y/n. i’m here to see mikey.” you said loudly, voice straining to over power the background noise. “ i know. but mikey will not be seeing anyone right now.” he retorts back.
surely mikey knew that you were visiting tonight right? after all it’s your anniversary date. you tilted your head at sanzu. not fully understanding what he’s saying. to say that you’re feeling absolutely livid would be an understatement right now. you’re too tired, angry and broken hearted to process anything anymore so you exploded. you only wanted to see your boyfriend. was that a very difficult request?
“sanzu,” you said lowly, eyes staring blankly into his and as if on cue, you brought your knees to his precious manhood before making another high kick at him, bringing him down. it was a technique that mikey had taught you when you were younger and attending martial arts lesson together with baji. god you missed baji so much.
“y/n because you’re short, you can do this instead.” mikey suggested smugly, kneeing poor baji’s little friend before swinging his legs much more harder than he intended to at baji’s profile when he bent forward. the main point was to get your opponent to lean forward so that your legs could reach high enough to create an impact on their skull. you eyes lit up in excitement, “wow! that’s so cool! let me try it!” you jumped impatiently. turning towards mikey to execute the exact same move. “wait n-! AHH,” mikey’s eyes widened, and before he knew it, you had completely knocked him over.
that day, as mikey and baji lied down with pain still intact barely moving an inch, shinchiro only gave you a thumbs up and praised you for taking down the invincible mikey. you were the only one who could do that.
“sanzu, i’ll see my boyfriend as and when i’d like to.” you said curtly, eyeing sending daggers at him lying on the ground before stepping over him to swing the door open, revealing your petite self to the other bonten’s executives and hostess who were staring at you in surprise.
you don’t see anyone else but your lover who’s currently sitting in the center with two pretty hostess sitting by his side. you don’t hesitate and begun walking towards him. “get your hands off my man.” you said calmly. there was tension in the air and from the corner of your eyes, you could see the executives slowly getting up to leave as if on cue.
“aren’t you as stubborn as always,” he raises a brow as you settled down next to him, pouring the bag of dessert on the glass table in front of you. you smile softly, grabbing a packet of taiyaki and handing it to him before grabbing one for yourself too. “happy 14th anniversary mikey.” you mumbled softly before grabbing a bite. 14 years, that was how long you two had been together for. “mhm. happy 14th anniversary y/n.” mikey hums, allowing you lean in close to him and resting your head on his chest.
you take in the scent of mikey for you knew that this is going to be the last time you’re going to be able to hold mikey close to you. you didn't want this moment to end but you were too tired to continue on and see what's going to happen the next when you go back to just another normal day. you held tightly to the gun you hid in your bag, shutting your eyes tightly.
“hey mikey,” you called out. you never thought you’d see it again but you saw a flash of endearment in his eyes when you called him. “i love you so much, promise you’ll take care of yourself alright?” you smiled warmly before pulling the gun out of your bag and putting it against your head.
god knows you tried.
god knows you did your best and now you’re going home.
bang!
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