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#okay idk why i said this story that must seem dumb but i'm thinking some people might be in the same situation as me and
hyunknow · 3 years
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#personal#today i made smth really big#well big for me#while my dad was waiting at the pharmacy i went alone to buy some bread so it'd make us buy time#and i was so nervous i battled with myself about if i went or not before deciding to go and#while going i was still anxious but i was so proud of myself after#that's such a stupid thing right? like everyone does that and at my big age it still makes me anxious to do so#but that's how it is and that's why it's a big accomplishment for me and#basically that's just me telling you not to give up if you're battling with mental illness bc if you followed me on#my old blogs you prob know how much of a mess i was and that was only half of it showing online hahahfhshd#but today after taking meds for almost a year and working on myself i'm able to do so many stuff that i wouldn't even#have thought about before without literally crying for anxiety#and even tho i'm still not like the best a'd able to do everything like other people etc i'm so much better and i'm glad i#asked for help and didn't give up#okay idk why i said this story that must seem dumb but i'm thinking some people might be in the same situation as me and#i'm just like i want to give some hope to them? when we're in a bad place we don't think things will get better ever but they do#i didn't believe it back then so prob someone who read that will be like 'sure.....' but trust me#my life didn't miraculously became the best honestly there's some stuff that are still not good and i try not to think of the future tjfksh#but that's a slow process and today i think it's worth it#anyway......tjdjqhfh sorry i'm not good with words i feel this is kinda dumb but yeah i just wanted to say it 😭#also this blog is truly dead eh idk i don't feel like being here idk if it'll come back fjjs#i don't gif anymore either sooooo#if you miss me (😌🌸) i'm on twt @/etoileminho or my trade insta acc @/minyoohtrade bc these days i'm obsessed with my collection tjfkshfj#anyway should go to sleep bc i have an appointment tomorrow (jobs stuff kinda hmmm it'd be nice if i could get smth at home or idk 😭) and#then i'm gonna get my new phone i'm excited bc this one is DEAD truly but going through the process of reinstalling everything and stuff#already makes me tired jgjsfh
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marindram · 3 years
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full transcription of Marin's blog from Omega Mart!
huge thanks to @b0chelly for recording a scroll-through, which i typed this out from. (and warning for Omega Mart lore/story spoilers. second half is in reblog)
Marinknows.best
Location: Seven Monolith Village
Last Login: 12/31/2019
Profile Views: 101,275
About me: I love listening to music and glitter
Friends (0)
June 26, 2018
Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeee!
So 14 feels way different than 13. For real. I think it's because I was expecting 13 to feel different, but sometimes when you expect something it turns out the opposite ya know?
Plus, 13 is like, "I'm new to being a teenager!!"
14 is more like, "I'm becoming the person I want to be." At least that's how I want it to be. I wanted to start this blog as a record of all that.
I should ask Did you guys feel the same way when you turned 13 and 14?
But probably nobody's gonna read this because I'm just a weirdo in the weird dessert. I mean, I know my best friend Jesse is reading this (hi Jesse). Besides her, crickets.
But yeah, if you are reading this and you don't know me - I live in Seven Monolith Village, a teensy tiny town that you've only heard of if you're into aliens or homesteading. And I'm literally stuck. As in, I'm physically unable to leave. My first memories are of all the adults in my life (Charlie, my great-uncle/father-figure - Rose, my what? Roommate? Mother-figure? Pseudo-aunt? All of the above? and my mom, Cecelia. who doesn't live here) telling me that for some reason, there's something wrong with me that makes it so I can't leave a certain radius of where we live. I got older and thought that they were just exaggerating to keep me safe, but then last year I tried. And it was, let's just say not good.
Anyway. That part of my life sucks, but not everything sucks. This year is all about Marin Dram 2.0. Not new, but definitely improved.
And maybe someday, somehow somebody will read this and care about what I have to say. Somebodies, even. Until then, this is Marin Dram signing off and sending my lame contemplations into the void!
July 1, 2018
Things I Want To Do Before I Turn 20 (and some of these will never happen like are literally unable to happen but JUST LET ME DREAM
1. Kiss someone (who???)
2. Meet HTB (kiss him) (jk he would never) (plus meeting him would be enough)
3. Go to Paris
4. Go to Rome (or somewhere cooler in Italy, look up where is the best pasta???)
5. Go to Greenland (why not???)
6. Go to New York City
7. Go to LA (with a dream and my cardigan lol)
8. Go to the Grand Canyon (this isn't mine, but 9, Jesse is sitting right here and she went to the GC when we were 12 and she's like blah blah blah it's my favorite place in the world and you'll love it. I'm doing this so she'll shut up.
9. Live in a normal house with normal rooms → ideally 12 of them: living room AND TV room, kitchen, dining room, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, study/library.
-plus an upstairs downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I got my own
-plus an upstairs/downstairs
-I'm willing to compromise on the number of rooms as long as there's more than ONE for TWO PEOPLE and I get my own room with an actual door. Very into doors.
10. Go to a mall (Jesse says there's a bunch of bonkers ones in Vegas)
11. Make friends who aren't Jesse (no offense, Jesse)
12. Get Cecelia (my "mom") to teach me about business stuff so I can open my own cool coffeeshop/bookstore someday
13. Learn to drive (ask Charlie to teach me, he's obsessed with his truck) (Jesse says she can teach me because she's Little Miss Mechanic and thinks she knows everything about cars but news flash Jesse: you're you get than me)
14. Figure out my signature style- like I want people to send me pictures of things and be like "this just screamed Marin" and for that to be true
15. Liquid eyeliner??
16. I'm stopping here because I just read over all this and want to die/cry because easily 3/4 of these are literally impossible?
17. Kill me
18. Bye
19. Lololol Charlie just came in and I was complaining about this, not being able to leave and stuff, etc and he said that I should visit new places by... reading books?? And I mean I like to read. But dude. That's the dumbest thing I've ever head.
July 30, 2018
Okay so this is what I want my life to look like:
I want a pink room. Not just pink... P I N K. Cool pink wallpaper (floral? jacquard??), pink carpet, lots of pink flowers everywhere, a four-poster bed with a pink silk canopy, lots of cool pink throw pillows. Like, so pink that
people think I'm being sarcastic! Oh, and BOOKS. Floor-to-ceiling bookcases, and some of the shelves have, like, STUFF on them that isn't books, like gifts people gave me, or things I've collected on my JOURNEYS. You know, normal stuff that people who live on normal places and do normal things have.
If I lived in in this room, it'd be in awhite three-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac (did you know "culs-de-sac" is the plural? Not "cul-de-sacs"? crazy) and I'd wear very classic girly clothes and my hair would always do what I wanted it to. It'd be one of those towns that people call small, but it's actually a city. just one with a kinda small, cozy feeling. Somewhere that gets cold enough to wear cute jackets but not so cold I have to to like, shovel my driveway. Not a non-place with like 100 people where you can't even go outside without going crazy.
August 2nd, 2018
I guess I should explain where I live, for all my avid fans out there! (lol) (hello??)
So like... I don't live on Earth. At least, not the Earth you think of when you think of EARTH. I live in some some weird off-brand version of Earth called the Forked Earth where there are aliens and magic wells of magic energy and everything is MAGIC but like the crappy kind of magic, where the sun never fully rises and some goo called "runoff" has made everything wacky and oh yeah, my mom is responsible for that and everyone here hates her!! LOL
Also, I can't leave! Like, literally can't! Rose says I'm a "special child of Source" and that's why but that LITERALLY explains tells me nothing, in fact it just raises further questions that no one can seem to answer! AHHHHHHHHHH
Anyway, the last time I tried to leave I felt. When I try to leave I feel like I'm being pulled back by something, like you know those old cartoons where someone's on stage doing something dumb and then someone offstage pulls them away with a giant shepard's crook? It felt like that, and when I opened my eyes I was back in 7 Monolith Village. UGH.
I know this sounds crazy!!!!! But believe me when I say that I am the least crazy person here. Also, """here""" is C R A Z Y. Runoff has made everything the bad kind of psychedelic and then people here actually DRINK IT! Not only do I not DRINK THE STUFF THAT HAS MADE THE WORLD INSANE, I also do not talk to aliens (or whatever Nula are) like Rose or believe crazy conspiracy theories like Charlie, so I believe that qualifies me as the most normal person in the Forked Earth, thank you for this honor, I accept this award with humility and grace!
September 4, 2018
I had the weirdest dream last night?? I was swimming in a pool full of cereal, and when I came up for air, my mom was pouring milk on my head like she was rinsing my hair. She had her hand over my face like I was a little kid and she was shielding me from soap getting in my eyes.
Anyway I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. I went to bed hungry and I need to take a shower? Lol
October 16, 2018
I was trying to hide this entry from Jesse, but JESSE IS A NOSY PERSON. She says that blogs are for readers, and if I wanted something to be private then I should "Just write in a fucking notebook and hide it under your bed like a normal person, Marin." I'm allowed to have secrets!! Anyway, I'm making her a freaking playlist, that's why I wouldn't tell her what I was writing about. but EVEN STILL! I'm allowed to have secrets!! But I have this blog because I wanna get my feelings out, I wanna see everything in my head typed out all nice in a way that doesn't make it look insane. You know? I don't know who I'm asking.) Because, it's not like I go to a normal school or have a normal life where I'm surrounded by normal people I can talk to. No one knows about me! I'm trapped in this crazy place and This blog is my only outlet to the world outside. I KNOW that's heavy but it's true! The point is: Jesse's birthday is coming up. The central consistent thing in pretty much my whole life is sharing headphones with her and listening to music. The soundtrack to my entire existence is her. I wish I had money and could buy her the best presents of all time, but I can make her the best playlist of all time. I want it to be so good it feels like magic. I want her to think I'm magic. I had another dream the other night. I don't remember much, just glitter. I must be crafting too much. Or looking at festival makeup tutorials. Or both.
November 12, 2018
WARNING- Weird thoughts ahead, lol.
I can never tell which feelings are normal, and which are me being a giant weirdo. But for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling like every part of my body that's possible to have a ribbon tied around it, has a ribbon tied around it. It's so weird. I can't see the other end of the ribbons - how far they go. where they're attached, nothing. And sometimes it's fine, because sometimes I can hardly feel them. I can forget about them for days at a time, weeks, months if I'm lucky. But then other times I can feel them like, pulling at me. It's freaking spooky, to have something pulling at you from somewhere you can't see. I can't tell if it's pulling me toward whatever it is? Or if it's trying to warn me? Or if I'm just insane??
Does that make sense? Does anybody else feel that way? (she asks into the void)
So idk I guess this ribbons-feeling is why I'm really careful all the time. Like I'm just a careful person. Charlie tried to give me a hard time about it, and I can't be like "I don't wanna pull back in the ribbons too hard without realizing it and wreck something!" because he'd be like "WTF Marin, do we need to get you help?" But also, more and more, I want to be the opposite of careful. I want to take a pair of comically oversized scissors and cut the ribbons into so many pieces that nobody can even tell what they are any more.
I don't know why I'm such a freak, only that I am. I don't know why I can't leave 7 Monolith, only that I can't. But there must be a reason, even if I can't see it, and I feel like it makes sense that the ribbons-feeling is part of that reason, right?
There's just a lot.
January 15, 2019
Happy new year! Lol I forgot to write on the actual first day of 2019, but OH WELL!
I got this new glitter nail polish, thanks to the monthly makeup subscription box my "mom" sends me as an outlet for her abandonment guilt. It has like, every color glitter imaginable without quite reading as "rainbow" which is fine just not really what I was in the mood for and it's vaguely halographic and shifts into all these different colors depending on the light. I'm obsessed. Anyway.
I was putting on another layer because I chipped it like 20 minutes into wearing it, and all of a sudden I had this feeling like I recognized the glitter? Like I felt this thing way deep in my gut and for a minute I couldn't breathe. It's the closest thing I've felt to how books and movies make Christmas look. Like I was home, with family, cookies and cider and all that stuff. Familiar and safe. I almost didn't recognize that feeling. And it came from the nail polish. How weird is that.
I mean, I don't want to make it sound like I've had this awful Charles Dickens childhood - Rose and Charlie are the best ever and always there for me and I love them a lot. But things never feel like...home. You know?
My mom always says this cryptic stuff about how I'm "special" and I wanna strangle her because I'm not, but you try getting my mom to stop doing anything she wants to do. Rose told me once that one day, I would "lead the charge into a new era of existence and access" because I'm "of the Source" and I was like uhhhh okay?? Charlie mostly treats me pretty normal, except when I ask him questions about our family. my mom or any Dram. He knows that I want to know more about them and he's my only real entrypoint, but apparently he's like the black sheep of that whole family. He and my mom were close way back right before I was born, but now whenever she comes to visit he barely even looks at her.
So that's to say: nobody tells me anything, ever.
January 16, 2019
Okay this is so weird. I wrote that entry yesterday about glitter and then last night I dreamed about glitter. Then I woke up with purple glitter in my bed?? Like not a lot, so at first I thought it was from my nail polish, but it was just a handful of purely purple glitter that looks nothing like my nail polish. SO WEIRD!!!!!!
February 14, 2019
Rose has an old book full of "ye olde" style fairy tales, and I flipped through it for the first time in forever today.
Not so weirdly, I've always been drawn to the story of Rapunzel.
Rapunzel couldn't leave the tower, or else she'd break her neck and die.
Same.
February 19, 2019
I was reading this article the other day in one of the teen magazines my "mom" gets me a subscription to and it was all about body positivity, which is great, but it was basically just like "wear a crop top if you wannna wear a crop top! it doesn't matter what size you are! You go, girl!" And like, sure. Yes. I am all for that. But doesn't it seem like there are some steps missing in there? Like, I can physically put on a crop top and wear it outside. But how do I convince myself that everybody isn't looking at me and making fun of me in their minds? How do I unlearn the last almost-fifteen years? How do I get actually positive about my body, not just put on a crop top and fight the urge to cry all day?
It's the same thing like when my mom sends me brochures from the CEO camp she ten when she was my age (her dad started the camp for her, which is an insane thing just by itself, but she did all the work, which is even more insane) and she's like "Marin, you lack direction for your life" and I'm like, cool mom. Yeah. I can see that. What I can't see is how to get there from here.
March 2, 2019
This is what I want my life to look like, volume 2:
The walls of my room are covered in Polaroids of me and my friends. There are lots of mirrors in all kinds of shapes. hearts and moons and stars. There's a record player and a lot of vintage records by Billie Holiday and Lena Horne and Peggy Lee and Nina Simone. And Christmas lights! Everywhere! Lots of of pink and purple Christmas lights everywhere.
If I lived in this room, I'd have so many friends and be part of so many clubs. My best friend would have a collection of vintage cameras, and every place we go to that has a photo booth, we'd get photos taken. Every time I'd look at myself in one of those mirrors, I'd feel happy at what I see and never weird or sad. (Jesse hates taking pictures, so even when I actually do normal stuff with her there's no evidence. What even is a life supposed to be without evidence? That's not an actual question you need to answer Jesse, it's just a question)
Anyway, if I lived in this kind of room, my mom would probably be like, an art history professor at a liberal arts college. That's how come everything looks so cool, because I would know stuff about art. My mom and I would love to try new recipes together. We get each other new cookbooks for every special occasion, and right now we're working out way through a Moroccan one. Moroccan Mondays.
In actuality, there's a dust storm happening outside and my eyes sting.
March 9, 2019
Here's what I'm obsessed with lately.
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Can. You. EVEN???
February 3, 2020
Omg I totally forgot this blog existed!!
I lost the password and instead of just resetting it I got in one of my super stubborn moods (Taurus moon lol) and just kept putting in guesses and jokes on me, it locked me out. Anyway, that's a boring story.
But my friend Ximena is really good at hacking and stuff, so she got me back in. Yeah you read that right - I have friends. Obviously a lot has happened since my last post. Ximena moved out here a couple months ago (X's family used to live here but they moved away a while ago) and she introduced me to Lora who I sorta-not-really already knew, and Jesse and I have been hanging out with them a ton. Jesse kind of more than me. Which is fine!!
Anyway I'm 15 now? If I lived somewhere normal I'd be psyched about almost being 16, because I'd get a car and have a Sweet Sixteen and eat a huge PINK cake, but I don't!
February 16, 2020
I read this fanfic the other night that was written in the second person so everything was like "you." "you're doing this" etc you know?
So... You go to a drive-in movie with Heartthrob Boy, and he spills soda on you by accident. And you take off your shirt ( you have a tank top on, don't worry) to clean it up, bit you're still all sticky and self-conscious about being sticky and HTB like... used his tongue to get it off??? AAHHHHH I'M DISGUSTING
but also I wonder if a boy will ever touch any part of me with his tongue
March 2, 2020
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Hi I don't know if you heard but I have friends :)))
March 15, 2020
I think I'm so into painting my nails and doing my hair because those are things that always fit. I don't have to worry about places not carrying about a size 8, or places that carry XLs but when you read the measurements they're actually size 8s too and it's like jesus if that's an XL what am I
My "mom" was confused why I needed new pants because mine still look new, but I showed her the thigh holes and she was like "that's a weird place for a hole, how did that happen" and I realized that when your legs are a certain size, you just don't know about thigh rub and what it does to clothes. Pants could just last for years.
No matter what, I can paint my nails with a different color nail polish on every finger, and I can always do a braid crown. And I know I'm cute as hell, etc, so this is not a Marin Needs to Learn to Love Herself thing. It's just an UGH thing
April 17, 2020
So Rose does all these Source experiments on plants and flowers and stuff. Tbh, it's just one if those things I hardly even register anymore because it's just always there. She's explained to me a million times what Source is/does/means, but the way Rose explains things sometimes is just a LOT to take in and she refers to me as a "child of Source" but I kinda figure that's like "child of God" right? What else would that mean?
But anyway, it's really annoying because dried flowers are a part of my new aesthetic and I pinned a bunch of them up on my wall but I woke up this morning to a freaking jungle of very alive flowers. I freaked out. on Rose, and she Rose said she didn't do it and I was like WELL THEN WHO DID and she said that I did??
Which like. Obviously that doesn't make sense. I asked her what she meant and She just shook her head and said " It's happening. We should have known" which is some horror movie shit that she refused to elaborate on. I love to feel safe and normal!!
Or maybe it's not a horror movie at all. But maybe it's a superhero movie? Maybe there's some kind of origin story I don't know about yet, and all of this will be worth it once I figure out my powers. I wonder what my costume will look like. Lol.
April 23, 2020
Is it possible to die from longing? I know that sounds melodramatic, but I'm also kinda serious?? Because it seems like one of those things that could fester and get infected and kill you. It's like when you fall down and bang up your knee, and you need to put a band-aid on the scrape for a while, but THEN you need to air it out - but how do you know when you're supposed to do each one of those things? And if you do either one too much, your knee gets infected. What if I smother my heart with band-aids for too long and it gets infected? This isn't about anybody. I just keep having these dreams about someone I never expected to have dreams about and they're so intense that they keep leaking into my life and I wonder if I need to do something about them.
May 2, 2020
So Jesse's gotten really into metal music, and I tried to get her to play me something since, AS PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED, that's what we've literally ALWAYS DONE with music and each other, and she kinda looked at Ximena out of the corner of her eye and said like "I don't think it's really your thing" And it was the meanest thing anybody's ever said to me.
So later I looked up Zenion, the band she was talking about, and I listened to every single fucking song they've ever recorded turned up as loud as it could go with my own headphones that are better than hers anyway, and I loved it. And I didn't love it just because she said I wouldn't. I loved it because it was loud and weird and wild and when I listened to it it made me feel like it's not crazy when so feel stuff so hard it's like my heart's gonna vibrate out of my body. And I would have told Jesse all this and we could have shared it, but I guess she thinks just because I like HTB and glitter and stuff, I don't have the capacity for anything else.
She clearly doesn't know me at all. So much for any kind of whatever, why would she ever want to kiss someone she clearly sees as like a stupid baby.
May 7, 2020
The dreams are getting weirder and they're happening more. I'm getting scared to go to sleep. Not that the dreams are always scary (they almost never are, or not scary like in a typically scary horror movie way). I mean, I've only ever been me. I don't know what other peoples' dreams are like.
The other night in one I was jumping on a trampoline, which is something I've never done in real life. I told Rose about it when I woke up, and she said "do you even know how to jump on a trampoline?" and I said "Rose, it's not like riding a bike. You don't have to learn. You just jump." and then we got into this whole thing about how some things we just know, and jumping's one of them, and how that's so weird. Sometimes I really like talking to Rose about stuff.
May 19, 2020
So, it's prom season in the real world. If I lived somewhere normal, my prom dress would be pink with lots of tulle and silk flowers at the shoulders, and it would fit perfectly and trying in dresses would be fun and not anxiety-inducing.
But since there are only like 10 teenagers currently in 7MV, were not having a homecoming. Cool.
May 27, 2020
So, mom came to visit this weekend, and I asked her about her prom. She was Typical Cecelia at first, very "Prom is a waste of time and money, Marin. It's a night when lesser people play dress-up to engage with their aspirations of grandeur." And I was like eyeroll forever and just stopped talking. BUT THEN she actually talked to me like a human being. She was like, "I actually didn't go to my prom" and when I asked her why she said that she didn't have a date, and was very self-conscious about it. I almost passed out at her admitting that she's ever been anything less than perfect.
(gonna continue this in reblog)
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vivithefolle · 3 years
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I'm a bit confused. You said in one post that you thoroughly dislike Hermione and that you had no respect for her at all. Yet ... you like Romione? idk, it seems contradictory tbh. I like when Romione shippers acknowledge her flaws and messed up moments but when someone that dislike and even hate her character that much ships Romione and I see them posting about them and calling them "cute" just seems weird
I’ll share with you my whole thought process so you can understand where I’m coming from:
Itty-bitty Vivi who read Harry Potter for the first time (at 13/14, so not so itty-bitty I guess, oops): Woaaah Hermione and Ron yaay!!! They're awesome I love them! They're my OTP always and forever!! Best thing to happen in Harry Potter!! JKR is a genius!
Slightly less itty-bitty Vivi discovering the Harry Potter fandom online (thankfully years after the ship wars, else I probably wouldn't have survived): Why is there so much hate towards Ron? And why are people so opposed to Romione?? It was meant to be since the first book! Or, okay, the second book is when I realized it was gonna happen, but still! Oh well, here is a fic where Hermione berates Ron for everything and he is the only one actually working for their relationship. Cool, more Romione!
Even less itty-bitty Vivi starting her own Tumblr and going around, adding her grain of salt to debates and talking about stuff: Yeah! Ron is great! He's done bad things of course but Hermione has done her fair share of bad things too! Actually, now that I'm rereading the books, I'm reminded of this person I used to call a friend, who was quite smart and cultured but would often be very harsh to me because they claimed it was “for your own good" and “because I'm more mature than you"… I still wanted to be around them, because they were just so smart and passionate, but we often rowed and eventually they really just went too far and tried to make ME out to be the bad guy and most people believed them because they had a reputation as someone cool and logical while I was known for being emotional… wait, what the fuck, that's… that's exactly what happens in the fandom with Ron and Hermione! What the fuck, was I Ron? Admired their intelligence, praised and supported them, fell in love even but was met with scorn and open disdain?!… no, no, come on. Hermione wasn't that bad.
Vivi rereading Half-Blood Prince (and no, this wasn't about the canaries, but about what Hermione was doing after): Oh my god she was that bad.
Vivi as she ponders alternately: Wait, what about JK Rowling? What does she think about all that? What was her intention, what did she want to accomplish with the characters? I know books belong to their readers but if I want as objective an analysis as possible I must try to understand her thought process while she wrote.
Vivi learning about a staple of British literature called “literary alchemy”: The quarreling couple!! Sulfur and Mercury, the Red King and the White Queen, who must marry for the story to end happily!! And their union is represented by… a rose!! Oh my god, that is brilliant, that is so cool! Romione was ALWAYS going to happen, I knew it! Ha!
Vivi discovering the “[Ron] needed to make himself worthy of Hermione” quote: Wha… but… what? Worthy? As if Hermione was some sort of precious trophy or whatever? What the hell? Wait, Ron had to make himself worthy of her but Hermione didn't have to make herself worthy of him? Is it because Ron is the boy or some shit like that??
Vivi going through JK Rowling's interviews and finding sexism and double-standards galore: Yep, it's because he's the boy. And that bit about Hermione being based off herself when she was younger… ouch. And to top it off the scriptwriter pretty much worshipped Hermione…
Vivi rereading the books again: Is it just me, or does Ron hardly ever get any praise or acknowledgement from the adult characters? Meanwhile Harry and Hermione get stuff like “as good as Charlie Weasley" or “brightest witch of her age"! And, damn, I used to side with Hermione because I love cats, but she was completely awful in POA! She apologized but then the plot made her out to be right even then?? And I always thought her Yule Ball entrance was kinda over-the-top, but damn if that's not compensating for something! Also what the hell, I get that Harry is suffering and all but will someone PLEASE pay attention to the fact that Ron is being bullied BY A FOURTH OF THE STUDENT BODY AND NOBODY SEEMS EVEN REMOTELY CONCERNED????? Also what the hell is wrong with the sixth book, I never liked it much but it's like it's trying to make every character look bad, wtf?? And, and, holy shit I never noticed but Ron was asking legit questions during the Horcrux Hunt debate but Harry kept deflecting or mocking him but it's still Ron who had to apologize in the end??? And I've read a whole post about how Hermione punching Ron is the appropriate reaction for a very small child and not a supposedly “mature" character, and that Harry had to SHIELD RON FROM HER, oh my god?? It's… oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with JK Rowling?
Vivi, in denial: Well, Harry Potter is decidedly not a romance. It's about love, but romantic love is quite far down the priority list when it comes to it. JKR has herself confessed that she wasn't too good at writing romance, and I don't blame her because writing romance is hard. But I did enjoy Romione! When I was little I saw it coming from a mile away, granted I was already savvy in literature but that must have been because she was doing something right! And then the sixth book happened… the sixth book which… which was released after the Harry Potter movies were being filmed, wasn't it?
Vivi looking up the timelines: Oh my god. Oh my god it's even worse, the movies were being discussed before Goblet of Fire came out. Come to think of it, I always found that the Trio felt… different, after Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry and Ron especially felt like they had gotten dumber? And Hermione was suddenly explaining everything when exposition used to be split between her and Ron…
Vivi, in mourning: So that's what happened. Ron ended up being shortchanged to make Hermione look better, because Rowling was fonder of Hermione than she was of Ron, and the scriptwriter too come to think of it. Curse you, Steve Kloves!!!
Vivi, who is nothing if not what Pokémon fans call a nostalgiafag: But… but… yeah, it sucks that Ron was shortchanged, and actually yeah it's a freaking travesty and I WILL freaking spread the world about this, mark my words, but, but I still… I can't help it, when Hermione “looked up at Ron and her frostiness seemed to melt" I melt too. When Ron compliments Hermione or tries to take care of her as much as he can I… it still does something to me, I still find myself rooting for them even if I know there's the awful sixth book and the stupid post-Locket beatdown. Their kiss, for God's sake, I've just realized that Ron may have swept Hermione off her feet physically, but it's Hermione who jumped him, you could say Hermione metaphorically swept Ron off his feet!! God damn it, that's good, that's so good!
Vivi, at war with herself: No, I can't let myself be blinded by nostalgia!! The facts are that Hermione shows borderline abusive - even actually abusive - behaviour, this can't be denied! I don't want to root for an abusive relationship! I don't want to root for a relationship that relies on my favourite character being dumbed down to work!!!
Vivi, about to uncover the secrets of the universe: … wait a second. I don't have to.
Vivi, having an epiphany: Reading Solstice Muse's Romione fanfics gives me such happiness because she just gets the characters! She doesn't portray Hermione as perfect and never fucking up, and she always treats what happens to Ron with respect… Well, especially since she can't play them off as a joke since she often makes Ron the POV character. But, yeah! I can still like Romione… if it's well-written. Which, well, isn't the case in the original books… at least, isn't the case anymore after Rowling's bias got the best of her. Even though they do have their great moments.
Vivi, finding purpose in her life: I am going to spread awareness. I am going to tell the world. Fuck, just rereading the books, I've noticed how blatant the favouritism is and how unbalanced it can be. No wonder the fandom seems to collectively scoff at Ron - the books themselves do whenever it's convenient for them! The fandom plays favourites, because the author herself played favourites, and the worst part is that she didn't even realize it! Imagine you spend your life getting into traumatic situations out of love for your friends who always receive compassion and validation for their feelings about said traumas, but YOUR trauma is hardly touched upon and in the rare case it is, it's only to be mocked or used against you… Fuck! You're a piece of work, JKR! And the fandom just swallows it whole like a bunch of lobotomized snakes! Screw it! Screw it, I'm going to say it like it is, and I'm going to say it LOUDLY! People are going to hear about what Ron goes through and we'll see if Harry and Hermione look like the only ones worthy of therapy then!!
Present day Vivi, as she scrolls through the (heavily filtered) Romione tag on AO3: Ugh, another Drarry… and another… and another… oh, a Hinny-centric fic for a change, cool but I'm looking for more Romione than that, sorry. Gah, why is it that Romione appears as a secondary ship everywhere but they can't get their own stories? I've just seen a Snupin come up for God's sake! Oh, finally, a full Romione!! *clicks* … … … awww that was so sweet. Kudos! Okay back to the search… oh, another one!! *clicks* … … … it's Ron-bashing. It's Ron-bashing and it's not tagged Ron-bashing and that's why it showed up in my search AND I'M GOING TO FREAKING RIOT-
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laurent-ofvere · 6 years
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Ugh, I don't know about Pet. I'm not at all interested in Ancel, but the real problem for me is that Ancel disappears after the first book. I could deal with a return to CP if the story also had post-KR scenes. But I can't see that happening with Ancel as the POV character. And I really don't care to see miserable, under the control of his abuser, Laurent and enslaved Damen in the last CP story.
i totally feel you on your reservations and i have them too (paschal i miss you) but here are my various PET/ancel thoughts:
i was lowkey bitter when charls was announced as the third pov bc i was like uhhh i don’t care but then once i read the snippet and got her angle i was like oooo yes and taoc saved my life
i don’t care for ancel myself, but we can see laurent in scenes without damen which is intriguing. and i know he’s generally this huge asshole in book 1 but it can be interesting to see how he’ll act when damen isn’t around and he’s not continuously like Fuck You. remember when erasmus said he was nice and came to speak with him and reassure him? we can maybe see some of that. maybe him talking to ancel and nicaise since nicaise appearances have been confirmed and they seemed to be friendly.
the prospect of going back to book 1 is terrifying and a large part of me is like WHAT THE FUCK PACAT but really, she’s not dumb. why would she leave the entire series off on a bitter, depressing note?? thats just not logical, and i don’t even mean that to reassure myself, its really just illogical. she must have some angle or something up her sleeve that when we read it we’ll be like “ohhh okay”
going off that, i firmly believe there will be a time jump or something like that. gbfas went between past and present so maybe this will be a present and future, showing how arles was fucked during that time from the pov of a pet and then future jumps will show how arles is now prospering with king laurent and his bae (married bae please god) from the pov of a pet who is now in a safer environment? i think the short stories gave us the vibe that akielos is doing okay but we never really got that with vere, and this can be it.
pacat said in a livestream that up in the air things between d and l will be addressed (damen’s back in tsp) she imagines that they will continue their undercover adventures (everything in taoc) and that she believes the pet system will remain intact but will be handled safer and better under the new rulership. if 2 of those things ended up happening, I’m sure the third will as well, which reinforces my thoughts that it will time jump and show us things in cp that we didn’t see or from a different angle that might surprise us, and then future vere where we can maybe see laurent as king and the way he (and damen His Canon Husband) have handled the pet system, since we saw the way they handled slavery in taoc.
idk man she said it will be 3 short stories unless something else is really alive to her and she wants to write it, and then she eventually decided on a fourth which means she had to have SOME crazy good idea that she just HAD to write. soooo ye a lot of me is like “pacat what the hell” but i also don’t think she would end off this amazing love story that we all love in a depressing way??? ANYWAYS IM SO ANNOYING HOW AM I STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS 
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hearts-lover · 5 years
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My opinion about Kingdom hearts 3
This post contains Spoliar to the Kingdom Hearts 3, if you haven’t played or beaten the game, I recommended you just move on the next post. I also will be talking about the Character, the Game, and the Fandom(mostly about the people who dislike Kairi role in this game) in this post, so if anything I said offended you by any meaning, I’m sorry, but this is ‘Merica where I’m at, so I can’t feel bad about hurting someone feeling even if I just speak a specific group of them or dissing their favorite character. Wow, I haven’t upload a thing in my account for years and now today is the day. oh, as for Kingdom hearts 3; love it. but I do wanna speak my opinion about this So just to get this out of the way, Kingdom hearts 3 have a pacing problem, and I'm pretty sure everyone knows that but I really don’t have any issues with it, granted this is a very annoying issues because as a Kingdom hearts fan, we never had any issues with this kind of stuff, even the previous KH game like Kingdom hearts 0.2 and DDD, but as someone who watches anime being dub and that dub being out of pace is a very common thing and most of the times, the Series Dragon ball Super have suffered the same thing, people simply talking too fast and most of the time they get cut off, making their sentences seem like a waste of breaths, but in Kingdom hearts 3 The pace in there seem so slow until we move away from the Disney and Pixar worlds, the pacing seems okay in my opinion. well besides the “character bring back to life” pacing, but I’ll speak about that soon enough.
but, let talk about the worlds; Olympus - I really didn’t enjoy this world, but that doesn’t mean I hate it. I really like how Sora and the other interact with Herc and Hades and I like how you get to explore and literally goes up to heaven to help Herc and save Zeus. (though I am a bit disappointed that we wouldn’t able to meet the other gods, like Herc Mom)the reason why I didn’t enjoy these worlds it so Empty, even in Zeus home, where if you revisit Olympus and you enter the gate, the first area doesn’t have any heartless until you progress through the area, but that first area is so big, perfect to fight those groups of heartless again like when we first get to that area to help Herc.
Toy Box - One of my favorite world so far, as a fan of the Toy Story series, its really good to see Woody and Buzz interact with Sora and the other, and I like how Buzz choose to keep an eye on Sora, Donald, and Goofy, even though he can be stupid, like the fact he doesn’t believe he is in another world despite the fact he was able to shoot real Lazer, the fact there was no human ANYWHERE even the newest Toy story that was having their grand opening thus there should be Kids and Adults in there EVERYWHERE and the fact that the heartless appear as soon you couldn’t find the other toy or Andy. Idk I just feel like he did all this and be controlled by the darkness, just so Woody can roast Young Xehanort and Sora saying “heart are everywhere” for the 10th times lol
Kingdom Of Corona- My least favorite world, While I do enjoy the interaction between Sora and Rapunzel (make me surprise that nobody in the community ships them since she and Eugene never have like a romance development beside her and Sora. I also hate that when Rapunzel wanted you to swing with her into another area, you locked up into a slow walking and controlling Sora is so annoying, even the festival is confusing, even if I read the tutorial I still mess it all up until I realize that I have to button depend on what color of the circles, but  even then when the dancer group up, how are they expect me to hit the Circles, let alone get a perfect in there if the beat doesn’t even sync (in my opinion that is) plus the world seems a bit too big for me, even with a map, maybe its because the tree and grass look the same thing, but eh.
Monstropolis - once again, one of my favorite world, Mike and Sully even Boo (despite they reuse her voice from the movie) is enjoyable to see and the interact make it seen like their one big family just trying to protect boo, and I wish we get more of that in the Kingdom Hearts series, for now, Sora Donald and Goofy, as well as Sora Riku and Kairi, will have to do. It's also cool to go through the monster factory and see some new stuff we haven’t seen before in the movie, I think that bits are pretty cool alone itself.
The Caribbean - My all times favorite world, as a fan of The Pirate of Caribbean this was a win for me, the Graphic, the world, even chasing the Black Pearl inside the Davy Jone Locker Kept me smiling throughout of the game. I thought the Crab collection is gonna be annoying, but I actually enjoy it, because it's everywhere, so you won’t be lost and worry about trying to find that last one crab. I am dissappointed about the water fight style, I know that we grow up in the previous game that we were able to use 3 combos in the beginning and the waterfight style shouldn’t be different, but I feel like they could’ve done more other than “Bubble, Swing, Swing, Whirlwind” combos
Arendelle - I really don’t understand why many people hate this world, I do understand that Sora doesn’t have NO purpose to be in there beside without realizing that when Sora Compare Elsa and Riku and realize Riku have been pushing him away just to keep him safe (where that is pretty cute.) and half the cutscene doesn’t help you what is going on what happened where its basically forces you to watch the movie, (similar what of Corona dealt with) to understand what is the relationship between Elsa and Anna, and why Elsa think that shes dangerous (Granted, Frozen is the 13th Grossed movie of all times so everyone with their mother must watch the movie, including Tangle) But other than that I enjoy the World, everytime when I see Sora run and able to see the snow actually move unlike what Halloween Town was able to do in KH2 when you get to see Santa, and able to find Olaf Body and his reaction to each body (and the fact that Sora literally grab a ball of poo) was great in my opinion. Also, you guys are very bold to expect “let it go” NOT to be in the game. that like Playing Kingdom hearts and know all of the character and story and expected Master Xehanort to NOT be the main antagonist.
San Fransokyo - Easily, one of the most boring world I had to go through. Sure you get to meet the Big Hero 6 and Sora making up the team names thus acting like a dumb puppy and the boss was interesting, but...that pretty much its. San Fransokyo wasn’t even that interesting until you beat the world, basically, the world is “talk to the person to progress” kind of thing, cause most of the time, once you finish what you had to do, and you have an option to save or buy some stuff, and that it. if you want to move on to the story, talk to Hiro, making me think that they rushed this world mostly than Arendelle and Corona, and when they say this world to be in the game? 2015? to be honest, what a waste of a world.
Now we have done with that, let talk about the Pro and Cons
Pros:
I really enjoy the interaction between Vexen and Demyx, even though it was a one-time thing (sadly) it's really good to see Nobodies from Kh2 talking to the Nobodies from CoM, Kinda remind me of Pinky and the Brain from The Animaniacs
Goofy is still Smarter than anyone in this Universe and I LOVE IT.
I’m glad that in Monstropolis, it takes place after the event of Monster Inc., so we can have more interact between Sully and Mike, I even like when sully say “its time to bring the scare out” I think that alone is a good line.
I have the same ps4 that was announced back on 2012 and I used it when I played KH3, thus I never had a Ps4 pro, but even then, the game feel and look beautiful and I couldn’t stop playing it.
I like the Gummiship section, I like how it gave you a choice if you should go and collect some items, but also give you a choice if you wanna annoyed them, then again, you do have to face the giant boss in that section, but you only get to face 3 of them and depend on how well you are, you’ll be leveling up like crazy at the end of the day, I mean the ship was able Lvl. 26 when I reach to the Keyblade Graveyard.
The magic is powerful and useful to use.
Sora’s Smile special. That's all.
CAPTAIN MOTHER FUCKING JACK SPARROW
Cons:
I didn’t enjoy the reaction command, sure the Keyblade Transformation is useful by itself, but when you have another command that you wanna use but if you hit Triangle before you hit R2 to switch, you’ll waste your finisher just like that. and it also doesn’t help if you just wanna get the treasure but wasted a useful command you been saving.
Master Yin sid alone. I hated him when he claimed Riku as a Keyblade Master, and I hated him just as much. because here a thing he has stated that Sora can’t go with Riku or Mickey until he has the power of awakening, where he didn’t use that until he follows Aqua to find Ventus, this man have the nerve to say that Sora isn’t ready despite the fact that he was able to save 10+ world when he was just 14, granted he did lose his power thank to Xehanort in the events of DDD, but in KH3, he was able to turn into his second form and play similar as his full power as KH2 (when you unlock all his abilities) summon a Pirate ship, A blaster, was able to do his first Keyblade transform after he finishes with Olympus. and Yin sid, have the nerve to say that he needs the power of awakening to support Riku and the King, and yet he was able to save Aqua WHILE NOT BEING A KEYBLADE MASTER AS RIKU AND MICKEY IS ONE and wake up Ventus to after seeing aqua getting hurt without even learning how to even use the power. and uses the same power he doesn’t know how to use to save his friends. Master Yin Sid is a horrible master and nothing will change my mind.
Donald being a bully, I never have seen Donald abuse Sora like this before, maybe it's having to do with Goofy being smarter than anyone in this universe, and I know that Donald personality was supposed to be annoying and him acting annoyed. But remember when Master Yin Sid and Pete stated that Sora was weaker than he was in the previous game, and how its really got into him, and remember Sora was able to save Aqua and Ventus without being a Keyblade master, since Yin Sid is basically saying that Riku was able to learn the Power of awakening thus that what make him Master, similar to Mickey. did you also remember Donald say “Sora needs work” and he says this AFTER he saves Aqua and Ventus, yeah, this Donald isn’t the Donald I know and love in the KH universe?
This game gives us a lot more question than an answer. Like why did Roxas came from the sky where his Vessel suppose to be with Ienzo, how did they able to create Xion if she was a Clone of Sora, why did the old princess heart move on and seek a new princess heart (plus does that mean Kairi isn’t a princess anymore), Shouldn’t Elsa heart be more stronger than a Princess heart since she's a queen. and some that I can’t even word it out.
The pacing, pretty sure you knew about that
The Final boss was...a little disappointed compared to the 1st 2 games of KH
Power level is bullsh*t (I'll be talking about that later)
Now I GOTTA speak my opinion about the Fandom reaction of the game and BOY there is a lot:
Regarding to Kairi:
 I have seen a lot of people both Kairi fan and non-fan usually say about how Kairi character have been downgraded to be a typical Love-interest to Sora (despite the fact that has always been a thing in KH1 and KH2, there literally can’t be any more to hint to these two together) and how she basically basically the Damsel in distress, where I could say the same thing to these “would-be-master” No hates on Riku Mickey or Aqua, but lemme recap, Riku earned the title ”Keyblade Master” after he finished with his Mark of Mastery, after that and him learning more about Aqua, he contain and use an uniform where Yin sid say that it’ll help him when he faces the heartless in realm of darkness, and Mickey confirm that even the weakest heartless can be dangerous in the realm of darkness. and His keyblade was destroyed and mickey’s was badly damaged and wished Yin sid to upgrade the keyblade and make Riku a new one since he left the old one in the darkness, they return there only for mickey to be captured by the heartless, and Riku had to face Aqua and the heartless, (he even working together with his dark self), but even after all of that “HE STILL NEED SORA” I understand that Sora is basically a golden child and have been fighting heartless more time than Riku since he worked with the darkness in KH1, but that doesn’t mean he useless, he can fight, Both Sora and Riku have a Rival and it could be hint that they were using the wooden sword since they were kids, so they must’ve have SOME experience, and since this is the same dude who entitles a Keyblade master, and I know that some of you will say “but you just say that Mickey confirm that the hearless is stronger in the Realm of Darkness” and you’re would be right, if we didn’t have Yin sid and Sora.
Yin sid basically told Sora 2-3 times that He needs the power of Awaken in order to go and help Riku and Mickey, even when Sora/Ventus say that he’ll go and Save Aqua, what did master Yin sid say “You need the Power of awaken” but he didn’t need to, He just needs to follow his heart, and he did, and he found Aqua keyblade and use that to reach to Riku, only for him to use that power to Ventus. after he saves Aqua.
and Sora; remember what Yin sid said (where I won’t repeat myself) and remember Pete say that he is weaker than he remembers, HOW DID HE ABLE TO DEFEAT A KEYBLADE MASTER AFTER COMPLETE 7 WORLDS? Granted, there could be a development where he could be getting stronger in each world he completed, but Yin sid say that the Darkness has Stripped his power and even Pete called him weak, there is no way that he was able to catch up to Riku level where he never lose power in the first place AND able to defeat a Master Keyblader by himself with no help and with no “power of Awaken”
in fact I could even say that both Riku and Mickey is more than a Damsel than Kairi since They have to be Saved by Sora twice where Kairi was being used of being Sora motivation to fight at his fullest, and Master Xehanort stated that he needs 9 clashes between 13 darkness and 7 lights to in order to forge the X-Blade and with Kairi Death being the 9th, she was used to create the X-blade.
and the fact that no-one even comments about these make me REALLY consider for the fandom, but you know my opinion.
Overall, I think Kingdom hearts 3 is a great game with a lot of Nostalgia in it, but I feel like Nomura tried to hard to make KH3 look pretty other than answering story, where there has been other games where you can have an interesting story and Gameplay before KH3 even release.
Overall, Please play this game with a grand of salt (for the people who haven’t play KH3)
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