#old joke

[artorojo]

Time traveller goes back in time 60,000 years, only to be hunted, robbed and killed by prehistoric cavemen.

The cavemen five minutes later:

#funny memes #dank humor #dank memes #dad jokes #prehistoric #cavemen #bad memes #old joke

[thatorigamiguy]

It's midnight at a bar, and there’s only three people left sitting at the bar. A red headed women sits between two men: A blond man to her immediate left and another man a stool away from her on the right. The red head turns to the man on the right and says, "Hey, wanna know a secret about this bar? If you go up at around this time and jump off the roof into the alley, you'll float back up safely. I don't know how it works, but maybe it's something to do with aura or wind current, but It's true."

The man, of course, is skeptical of her claim but the red head says she can prove her story and tells him to follow her to the roof. So they proceed up the stairs and through the roof top access and to the ledge overseeing the alley. Without any hesitation, she jumps off into the alley way, before magically floating back up, safe and sound.

"See?" She says with a flourish, "what did I tell you? You just float back up! Wanna give it a try?"

The man was in awe, amazed at what he just witnessed and immediately jumps off into the alley... and proceeds to break both his legs upon impact. As he lay in a broken pile screaming his head of in agony, the red headed women proceed to laugh at the him before she began making her way back down to the bar. She laughed and laughed, all the way down, till by the time she got back her mirth had been contained to manic giggling as she took her spot next to the blonde man and proceeded to finish her drink.

upon noticing her return the blonde man, one Jaune Arc, turns to her and with states with the most deadpan tone he could muster:

Jaune: “You’re an absolute bitch when you’re drunk Pyrrha.”

#jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #arkos #rwby #rwby shitpost #humor #incorrect rwby quotes #old joke

[rookisit]

#qsmp #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp eggs #qsmpblr #qsmp jaiden #qsmp forever #What even is this server #I think I came up with the whole thing in my head #Old joke #but Phil’s making it queer smp with how non binary it’s about to be #Hehehehh sorry

[dougielombax]

Oh fuck I’m gonna have to spend the next two months hearing those ghastly, tired jokes about Mariah Carey again!

Like she’s some kind of a god damned cryptid!!!

It was funny the first couple of times but after a while it just gets EXHAUSTING!!!!!

Quit it!!!

#dougie rambles #personal stuff #vent post #christmas #mariah carey #kid named death of a joke #seriously #old joke #stop it #annoyance #what #cryptid #cryptids #nightmare fuel #pain in the ass

[victusinveritas]

#hands #old joke #tumblr screenshot #idle hands

[winterleapingfrog]

#old joke #drawing #doodle #cartoon #illustration #sketchbook #restaurant #moon

[evilhorse]

Makes him almost as old as Steve Rogers, right?

#x-men #forge #firestar #angelica jones #synch #steve rogers #old joke #mutants #gerry duggan #joshua cassara #marvel comics #comics #2020s comics

[katyspersonal]

Souls guy that wanted to level up but saw the Doll sleeping and felt so guilty about waking her up that he decided to channel the Blood Echoes another time.

#bloodborne #thats me i am the guy xd #i really don't want to wake her up oof #old joke

[annacaffeina]

Republicans are too emotional to govern

#old joke #still true

[nearlyisms]

Some of these Threads accounts are leaning hard on years-old recycled jokes for their engagement farming. So desperate. It’s hilarious to watch.

#threads #old joke #engagement #engagement farming #clickbait #influencers

[astro-meh]

grand admiral thrawn gets told by his doctor that he has erectile dysfunction and he gets really worried cause he thinks there's something wrong with his ysalamiri

#thrawn #i am so funny #get it a reptile dysfunction #old joke #grand admiral thrawn #ysalamir #ysalamiri #mitth'raw'nuruodo #thrawn (2017) #the thrawn trilogy #star wars #star wars meme #star wars shitpost

[pennedguins]

S2257 - Printer

#penguin #comic #comic strip #webcomic #daily comic #old joke

[tenaflyviper]

How many of you have ever smelled moth balls?

If you have, how did you manage to get their little legs apart?

#old joke #older than dirt #older than ya mum

[dougielombax]

No, Herr Mozart.

You cannot Juju on that beat.

*this sounded funnier in my head*

#dougie rambles #personal stuff #amadeus 1984 #wolfgang amadeus mozart #old joke #my poor attempt at a joke #what #no context #this sounded funnier in my head

[nectarink]

I’m camp sex.

I’m fucking in tents.

#new spin #old joke #but really I’m fucking intense #campy #vaudeville #dad jokes

[mimilind]

Found my old jokes page from early 2000...

Back then, it was popular to mass-email jokes to friends and collegues, and I would collect the best ones for my homepage.

Here’s one of the jokes I found, female comebacks:

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not Enter." Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized.” Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason." Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing." Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

#jokes #old joke #female comebacks