"So much of the pain of loneliness is to do with concealment, with feeling compelled to hide vulnerability, to tuck ugliness away, to cover up scars as if they are literally repulsive. But why hide? What's so shameful about wanting, about desire, about having failed to achieve satisfaction, about experiencing unhappiness? Why this need to constantly inhabit peak states, or to be comfortably sealed inside a unit of two, turned inward from the world at large?"
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While I understand it was Olivia's choice to go that route, I wish it was revealed that Alyssa DIDN'T kill her parents.
Because she was cast in S2, we arguably don't know what her reaction to finding out fairytale/folklore creature actually exists. Which leaves room to say she wasn't surprised (a fair enough reason being as why else would myths exist at all) but the real reason...something monstrous killed her parents and she was the sole survivor (the hint lying in her stuffed elephant).
But word gets out and for some unknown reason only she knows, she can't defend herself and takes the blame. And it lasts for years only for her to finally reveal the truth when Hope's trying to empathize with her so she won't destroy the Ascendant.
Yes???
Alyssa using that rumor as armor of sorts because who is gonna mess with the girl who killed her parents?
Alyssa letting them say awful things about her because maybe she didn't kill them but she didn't save them either and she's gonna carry that forever.
Alyssa recognizing something familiar in the new girl, Hope Marshall. She couldn't quite place what yet.
Alyssa excelling at her classes not because she's determined to be top of her class but because she needs to know everything about the monster who killed her parents if she's one day going to kill it and instead she finds out that no one else knows it exists.
Alyssa thinking maybe she imagined it. Maybe her mind is playing tricks on her because she actually did do it and couldn't handle the truth. Maybe she is a killer.
Alyssa realizing what it is she recognized in Hope when Hope tries to empathize with her during the prison world ordeal.
And then when Josie snaps her neck, she goes to Limbo and guess who's waiting for her with her all the answers and forgiveness in the world?
They're heartbroken when she's back a week later, permanently.
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It was hopeless, it was crazy, just the mess that time made.
Olivia Laing ֍ Crudo (2018)
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Via @itmeolive instagram 🤍🤍🤍
Josie and Alyssa back together 🥰
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