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#om: swd
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All I want is to find some Quality trans obey me posts why is this search full of stupid evangelical christian homo/transphobes
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Mc: Hey, dumb slut, get over here.
Mammon, sighing: Okay-
Asmo: I'm coming!
Mammon, confused: I thought... I was dumb slut...
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anintrovertedechoe · 11 months
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Lucifer: who the fuck took my demonus i just wanna talk
the brothers knowing that whoever did is fucking dead:
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: what.
MC: it was me.
Lucifer: why??? you literally can’t even get drunk off it????
MC: it tastes like capri sun and i miss it you whore
Lucifer: what the fuck is a capri sun
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syazrock · 6 months
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Satan celebrate his own birthday party
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the-great-chimera · 1 year
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Mammons most recently googled questions:
- do humans like to be pet?
- How much grimm does a human make throughout their life cycle?
- how to cut out human meat from my diet.
- is it okay for a human to ingest a small amount of human meat?
- how to not leave finger prints???
- top Ways to get rich quick
- gold bag
- demon scale gold bag
- viciousace golden dragon skin bag ( 42,000 raven)
- human intelligence quiz
- what to do when your human has now developed a taste for human flesh.
- what does outer space taste like
- what to do if your human has started trying to size you up to eat you?
- what is bone apple teeth???
- sharkcoochi board???
- sharkcochi baord??
- how to spell shark coochi bord??
- charcuterie board.
- shark shaped charcuterie board.
- how to tell if your human has rabbies
- what does a rabbies bite look liek???
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can't believe the peak character design for THE Lucifer Morningstar is an out-of-touch overprotective dad, who would do anything for his kid(s), and is trying to connect with them but instead he accidentally makes them think he doesn't give a shit and ends up giving them serious daddy issues
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zephyrchama · 18 days
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Mammon stares down at his youngest brother snoozing away on your lap. Belphegor has made himself at home with your thigh as a makeshift pillow. It’s far from the first time this has happened, and very unlikely to be the last. Any more, he just walks over and does it, falling asleep within moments without even asking. He’ll wake up if you try to stand. As long as you can still study, read, or scroll your D.D.D., it’s usually not too bothersome and easier to let Belphegor do what he wants.
The scowl on Mammon’s face says otherwise. “Ya really gonna let him walk, err, sleep all over you like that? How many time’s he done that this week?” He tisks and stomps his foot, looming over you with crossed arms. “Belphie, wake your ass up! Yer big bro has a bone to pick with you!”
You feel a warm exhalation on your leg. Belphegor seems to be sighing, but doesn’t bother opening his eyes or acknowledging Mammon in any other way, much to the elder’s chagrin.
“Push him off!” Mammon insists.
“I’m flattered you think I’m strong enough to push a full grown demon off of me,” you admit, lightly ruffling Belphegor’s hair. “But, no. I’m not.”
“Don’t encourage ‘im!” Mammon grabs Belphegor by the collar.
At this provocation, the youngest curls an arm under your thigh and nudges his nose into the fabric of your clothes. He refuses to budge. “They don’t mind it, so just leave us alone.” Belphegor’s muffled voice sounds tired and annoyed.
“Belphie, let go! Ugh, use your pact!” Mammon literally growls. “Don’t coddle this jerk, you spoil him too much!”
“Don’t yell at me about it! I’m just sitting here!” you pout. ”And Belphie, watch where you’re grabbing.” It’s not your fault these guys go crazy over you. “Pact orders are painful for you guys, yeah? I don’t want to go through all that trouble. I’m still learning how to control the magic and it’s not worth it right now.”
“Hah? You kiddin’ me?” Mammon taps his foot and gnashes his teeth as Belphegor gives him the cold shoulder. “Fine then. Be that way.”
He goes to walk away, but abruptly turns back and returns. It’s evident when Mammon gets a new idea into his head. You can practically see the light bulb pop up over his head as he dons a cheeky grin.
“Spread your legs for me,” he demands.
“What?” Now you’re staring at him, disbelief etched into your features. You knew Mammon had the occasional lewd thought but even for him this was brazen. Maybe his brothers are right and he’s finally lost it.
“Spread your legs for the Great Mammon! C’mon!”
Belphegor snorts and turns his head ever so slightly, just enough to give his dumb older brother the evil eye. Mammon is tired of waiting and seizes his chance to yank your knees apart. By your own admission, you can’t fight the strength of a full grown demon.
“You’ve got two legs, there’s plenty a room for two demons here.” There isn’t exactly much space, but Mammon lays his head back on your thigh and grins up at you, bumping his noggin against Belphegor in the process.
Ah. You realize this was his goal and Mammon was just being too stubborn to come out and say it.
Your face grew hot. It felt weird to manspread with two doting demons on your legs. “You really could have phrased that better.”
“Whatddya mean?”
You sigh. “Think about it.”
Belphegor exhales again, probably laughing under his breath this time as he re-adjusts his arm to a cozier position.
Mammon is content just to admire you from below until he connects the dots, and a deep red blush spreads across his face. He turns, winding his arms around your back to better hide his face in the folds of your shirt.
He closes his eyes against you, his nose brushing against your side. “I don’ wanna think ‘bout anything. I work too hard, just lemme rest here a while.”
You allow it, ruffling his hair knowing full well you coddle both of them too much.
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asterronomical · 4 days
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The artist urge to draw my two favorite characters who are complete opposites interacting with each other.
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nutbreadys · 9 months
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It felt like I was losing something. A part of my own body.
That “something” must have been Satan.
——————————————————————
b&w ver.!
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tsukii0002 · 1 month
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Satan: *quietly entering Mc's room in the middle of the night*
Mc: *sleeping like a log while hugging a stuffed animal of their own size*
Satan: …
Satan: *with a murderous face picks up the stuffed animal and throws it angrily against the wall*
Mc: *frowning at the lack of the stuffed animal*
Satan: *crawling into their bed and taking the stuffed animal's place*
Mc: *hugging him and smiling*
Satan: *happy angry demon noises*
In the morning
Asmo finds Satan and Mc cuddling while sleeping peacefully in an adorable position.
Asmo: … *taking out his phone and taking a picture* I found Satan, Lucifer!!! He's in Mc's room again!!!!
.
.
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OBEY ME FANDOM
Are Spicy Newt Chips canon, or something we have all collectively imagined into existence? I swear it's something they've mentioned before, but I can find no fandom source of food lists that lists it
And yet searching for them on here reveals several authors who have also used it as part of their writing
So did we all just Decide that these exist or are they buried somewhere in the lessons and/or Devilgrams?
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hopeluna-archived · 8 months
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Thinking about......Solomon who randomly gives your cheek a small lick just to see that disgusted expression of yours as you look at him while frantically wiping your cheek with your hand, and then wiping your hand on his sleeve with mumbles of "ew ew ew ew ew".
All while he has a shit-eating grin on his face, watching you question your entire relationship with him.
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syazrock · 8 months
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Singing practice.
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yunoftheclouds · 1 month
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What’s with this sassy, lost child?
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absolutely going insane thinking about their dynamic🥺
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temis-de-leon · 2 months
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Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 2
Characters: Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)
Part 1 - Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)
Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)
Masterlist
CW: pick me girl behavior, one of these girls is actually really stupid, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), nightmares, implied death, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, still ooc but i had even more fun
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Satan
Your boyfriend looked more offended than you ever had the chance to feel.
The cashier at the bookstore barely had the time to say anything about her supposed romance with the demon before he appeared in his signature pose: a hand in his hip and the other one over his chest.
He had been a regular for years and you didn't know if the girl had been delusional enough to believe she had something with him or if she was just jealous and wanted to make you feel bad.
You weren't sure which one was sadder.
"Am I hearing this correctly?" he said with spite, distracting you from your own thoughts "Are you so daft you were considering me reciprocating your feelings?"
The girl lowered her gaze, clearly embarrassed, and for a moment you felt guilty. Maybe she really thought she had something mutual going on with Satan; a crush that went too far in her own imagination.
She proved you wrong, however, when not only did she give you a side eye, but also said the most stupidest thing one could ever muster.
"Well, obviously you are so daft you chose them over me"
You couldn't waste time on feeling hurt; not when Satan was showing his fangs, letting his tail scratch the floor as it lashed behind him. As hot as he looked like this, it was not the moment nor the place to show his demon form in a fit of rage.
The stupid cashier seemed proud of getting a reaction out of him, finally catching his attention. Maybe she was a demon of wrath too? Maybe that's how she flirted with other demons?
The poor thing would be lucky if she ever lived to see another day.
Let her discover that fact on her own.
"She's not worth it, Satan" you urged, pushing him to the door "Let's go to that cat cafe you mentioned earlier. You said they had new kittens, right?"
That seemed to do the trick.
He looked at you with love, still mixed with anger and bewilderment, but not enough for you not to hold his hand and lean against him.
"I'm sorry, my dear" he murmured, then he spoke louder "Do not believe a word she said"
"I would never"
"Good"
He nodded to himself, like the idea of you believing the cashier was too stupid to even consider it, but neither of you could ignore how his hand stiffened in yours for a second.
"Let's go see some kittens" you said in a singing voice, leading him in the street towards your destination.
You failed to see the adoration in his eyes.
Asmo
This succubus dated Asmo long before you were even an idea in your parents' minds and she wanted you to keep that in mind.
She wanted you to know that everything you knew, she knew better (a blatant lie) and that Asmo preferred experience over novelty (ew).
"I remember the times we went to the sauna and... Oh, sorry, does he take you to the sauna?"
"He invited me a couple of times, yes" but I had to say no or else I would've boiled alive.
"And does he...?"
Does he. Does he. Does he.
He does. HE DOES. HE DEFINITELY DOES.
In which moment did you think going to The Fall was a better plan than doing each other's skincare routine while making fun of 50 shades of Grey?
The both of you could be criticizing that poor excuse of BDSM right now (before recreating the correct version), but, instead, Asmo was ordering the girliest cocktail ever made while this Camila Cabello wannabe harassed you.
"...that was a little joke between us"
Lord Diavolo she just kept going.
"I'm so happy you remember so well your past relationship with him" you intervened with a strain in your voice, "but maybe it's time for you to stop and leave"
The succubus smirked with a smugness that made your innards burn from the inside out.
"Don't get jealous! I'm sure he loves you too"
Oh my Lord.
The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.
"Hon', look at this!"
There he came, your savior, dressed in a skimpy dress with hands full of shimmery drinks and a glint in his very beautiful loving eyes.
"They didn't have human beverages, but I swear the taste is impeccable, you'll love it! Just let me take a picture for Devilgram first"
Camila Cabello, as you had finally decided to call her, cleared her throat in search of the demon's attention. Asmodeus looked in her direction, obviously trying to remember who she was.
"Asmo, baby!" she was nothing but a smile full teeth and a mission. Her gaze a little desperate "Remember me?"
Her determination died, however, when Asmo's expression turned shocked after studying her. He grasped his chest in sorrow as he asked the funniest question you could hear at the moment.
"What are you wearing?"
Camila Cabello was finally at a loss of words and you briefly wondered if this had ever happened to her.
"If you're gonna meddle in my relationship with MC at least take effort in looking decent"
His expression was sweet, saccharine, but there was an underlying seriousness in his voice.
He was so beautiful. And he was all yours.
Beel
She was one of the boys, apparently. Beel had definitely never mentioned her, but the girl only laughed when you told her that.
"Wow, controlling much? Does he have to tell you about every friend?"
Well, no, Beel didn't have to inform you about everyone he's ever met, but your boyfriend was sweet enough to want you in every aspect of his life, thus introducing you to his friends, his teammates and even his gym bros.
Definitely not to this girl.
You looked at her in disbelief, licking your teeth with a calculating glance. How much would Beel care if you hit this airhead with a dumbbell?
"We hang out together almost every day" she boasted, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger "It's not even weird for me to be in the boys locker room"
Were you strong enough to throw a dumbbell?
Surely she'd rather be with them instead of you if she was 'one of the boys', no? Why would she be in the bleachers with you, waiting for the team to finish their training, when she could be in any other part of the field doing exercise or playing for another sport?
"I'm not making you insecure, am I?" asked the girl in poorly faked innocence "If he loves you so much you should have nothing to worry about"
"Oh, I trust him" you assured her, but you didn't sound as confident as you wanted to. Although Beel never gave you any reasons to doubt him, it was difficult to defend your relationship when this girl was so convinced everyone was in love with her.
"That's so cool"
You decided to ignore her and her mocking tone, hoping to end the conversation right there, but she just kept talking. It was obvious she wanted to get under your skin.
For what? you wondered. Did she expect Beel to leave you if she batted her lashes fast enough? Did she know Beel at all??
"Oh, Beely!"
You cringed with a scowl visible to everyone around you. Some of Beel's teammates laughed at your missfortune, while the others, the ones you liked best, turned around in horror and left without a second glance.
Wether he was oblivious or just didn't care, Beel wasted no time in running towards you with a smile on his face.
"Did you see me?" he asked, looking up to you with a boyish grin and brightened eyes.
"I'm always looking at you"
Beel blushed, his smile still obvious in his face, but he couldn't get another word in before the girl talked again.
"I was looking at you too"
You rolled your eyes and Beel immediately stared at you with a curious glance. He hummed in response, ignoring her once again as he reached out for your hand to caress your knuckles.
"There's a new limited edition menu in a restaurant near RAD"
No questions added nor needed. You smiled at him and nodded, bringing his hand to your lips to kiss it. A promise for later.
"Noo, we used to go there so much..."
"Can you stop?" Beel interrupted her with a deadpan expression "You're making MC uncomfortable"
The girl looked at him in surprise, mouth wide open, clearly not expecting to be snapped at.
She didn't dare to look at you after that.
Belphie
It wasn't the first time you dreamt about this girl and it wasn't the first time you dreamt about her stealing your sloth of a boyfriend.
She wasn't some mystery girl, but rather Belphie's old seatmate, the one he had before you were kidnapped admitted in RAD. A quiet doe-eyed succubus that looked at him like he was the best thing that ever happened to both human and demon mankind.
She'd tried to sit next to him a couple of times with no avail, always getting rejected in your favor. Then, Belphie and you started dating and she stopped trying. You'd innocently thought she'd surrendered.
But not only did she search for him the very few times you guys weren't next to each other, she also ignored you completely when you were there.
Ignoring her back was easier said than done.
And this time, the oniric version of her wasn't just stealing your boyfriend. This time, he was willingly going to her, making your heart hurt so much it made you wake up with what felt like broken ribs.
It took you a couple of minutes to pull yourself together and not push Belphie away when he brought you back to his chest. The image of him kissing her while looking at you was engraved in your mind.
So, although sweating and hurting both from your heart and your confidence, you forced yourself to sleep.
You didn't notice just how awake Belphie was.
Back when you were still friends, you had allowed him to introduce himself into your slumber each time you had a nightmare. Images of you dying under the jaws and claws of faceless demons disappeared faster when the real Belphie was there. Ironic, isn't it?
He tried to stop every single one of them, but sometimes he was so deep in his own dreams it was proved to be impossible.
You thought this was one of those occasions, but, alas, you were wrong.
Days passed without any new event and Belphie mentioned nothing about your initial irrational coldness towards him, which made you feel a tiny bit better. Eventually you'd get so embarrassed about the situation that you had no other option but to dote on him like the brat he was, leading to a whole weekend sprawled over his bed in the attic.
The girl was still there, although not as persistent with Belphie, and she avoided you like the plague, with fright in her eyes.
So he did something about her, didn't he? But how did he know? And what did he do? You wanted to ask, curious as ever, but as time went by and the eyebags under her eyes started to occupy her entire face, you decided against it.
Barely a month later she disappeared without leaving trace. And since Belphie didn't even acknowledge her at all, why would you?
Tagging a little more: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin @elaemae
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