Tumgik
#omfg jim hoppers is my dad
artemisthewh0re · 7 months
Note
OMFG IK YOU’D EAT THIS UPPPP
a Season3 mean!dbf! Hopper X wealthy!girly!fem blk reader
The reader is an annoying, snarky, smart-ass and loves especially teasing and annoying Jim at any given time.
and then one day he already was not having a great day so he finds the reader walking home after a party she snuck out to and she begs him for a ride and (as always) he does.
“Pleaseee hopper?? I won’t be able to go to the formal if he grounds me!”
He’s like “I’m not covering for ya kid, your a smart-ass, bad-ass brat who always wants her way cuz she has daddy’s money! So shut up and let me drive goddamnit!”
Then shuts reader up by stuffing his dick in her mouth and fcks the absolute SHIT out of her in his truck. Like she can’t remember her name or respond.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH 🤭🤭🤭
“Got something to say now? Huh smart-ass??”
“Yeah that shut you right up. I guess my cock is all it takes to shut that pretty mouth up”
“I don’t kiss sweetie”
“Take it like a champ sweetheart!! You talk so much shit you should.”
“Cmon you got it, alllllll the way in there, mhmm”
“Whats your name? Huh? Can you not remember?”
“Dumb slut can’t even speak cuz of daddy’s dick”
Then after all of this he’d carry you to your window and tuck you in cuz you’re so fcked out 😭😭
Hopper 🔛🔝
You literally read my mind, I've been planning to do a Hopper smut for months! Also your mind is amazing chefs kiss 🤌🏾
Dbf!Jim Hopper x Black Reader
Warnings: Age gap (18 & 40+), breeding kink (kinda), dad's best friend, unprotected piv, blowjob
Katydids fill the dark street with a calming ambience as you walk. The only other sound being the click-clack of your purple heels. You had already walked half a mile and your legs are close to giving out when you hear a car coming up behind you.
"Might as well hitchhike the rest of the way," you whisper under your breath, sticking out your thumb towards the car. As it gets closer you notice that it's not a regular car, but the Chief of Police's Chevy. The car slows in front of you and the passenger window lowers. A scowling Jim Hopper meets your thankful gaze.
"What're you doin' out this late, sweetheart?" Hopper questions, a frown plastered on his face.
"I could ask you the same thing, officer," you tease, trying to avoid the fact that you had committed several acts of underaged drinking and drugs. Hopper's unamused expression lets you know his mood is even worse than usual. "Can I hitch a ride home?"
"Not tonight, I don't have the time for your antics," Hopper responds.
"Pleaseee hopper??I won't be able to go to the winter formal if my dad grounds me!" You whine.
A sigh escapes the Chief's lips before he unlocks the passenger side door. You trot your way over to the car and get in without a second thought. The car starts back up with a hum and heads twenty minutes out of town to your ritzy neighborhood.
The silence filling the car is almost deafening. You try to fight back the urge to speak, fidgeting in your seat, but your mouth won the battle over your brain.
"So what's got your panties in a twist? You're usually less of an asshole," you tease him with a poke on the cheek.
"I'm fucking peachy," Hopper responds, turning to you with a death glare.
"And what's with the get up? You look like you're going on a vacation," you say, finally noticing his Hawaiian shirt and casual jeans.
"Can you just shut it? I'm not in the mood for this tonight!"
You quiet down for a moment, the smile you had falling from your face. "Sorry, can you just not tell my dad you found me tipsy on the side of the road?"
"I'm not covering for you kid, you're a smart-ass, bad-ass brat who always wants her way because she has daddy's money! So shut up and let me drive goddamnit!"
A muttered insult escapes your lips as you turn away from Hopper, crossing your arms over your chest.
"Alright, that's it!" Hopper yells, apparently hearing your insult.
The car suddenly turns off the main road into a wooded area. You whip your head around, trying to figure out where you are. The car stops in a clearing in front of a small stream.
"Hopper?" You question, looking around the wooded area.
"I'm so sick of spoiled little girls in this town thinking they can do whatever they want just because their daddy's rich," Hopper rants, turning off the car.
You can't help but laugh. Your dad's closest friend giving you a lecture about being spoiled wasn't a new thing, but dragging you to the middle of the woods just to yell at you was comical.
"Oh please, you can't fix my attitude. Dad has tried and failed for years."
"He hasn't tried my technique."
"Whatever." You roll your eyes and turn away from Hopper. Suddenly Hopper grabs your neck with a firm grip.
"I think it's high time someone taught you how to shut up," Hopper gruffly whispers only two inches away from your face.
A part of your brain knew that this was fucked up. But an even deeper part of you had fantasized about this late at night. Touching yourself at the thought of Hopper's warm breath grazing your neck, placing rough kisses anywhere he could.
"Okay, Chief," you tease.
Hopper releases your neck and relaxes in his seat. His legs spread apart to reveal his growing bulge. A loud gulp comes from your throat as you stare. You'd never done something like this before and your nerves were betraying you.
"Unzip it," Hopper says. His eyes are looking at the zipper on his washed out jeans.
You move closer to the Chief with caution. Once you're right next to him, he lights a cigarette and places it between his teeth. Hopper rolls the window down before the truck fills with smoke. Your hand moves your lap to his and makes its way up to his crotch.
His erection is firm and much bigger than you expected. Hopper is silent as you unbutton his pants and pull down the zipper. Your hand moves with a mind of its own as it pulls Hopper cock free from his briefs.
Precum leaks from his light pink tip. You can see small veins running from the base to the head. You look over to Hopper for some sort of instruction, but he silently smirks instead. Hopper moves his hand from the back of the seat and grabs the back of your neck, a lot gentler than the first time. Your head moves closer to his cock and you place an awkward kiss on it.
"Why so shy? You were all talk earlier," Hopper teases.
You open your mouth and place it around his head. His precum has a slightly salty taste as it hits your tongue. Before you can think about what to do next, Hopper pushes your head all the way down, so your nose is pressed against his crotch. You gag around his cock before he pulls your head up.
"Got something to say now, smart ass?"
For the first time in your life you're actually quiet, except for your heaving breathing. Your chin has spit dribbling down it and your eyes are watering. You loved it. Hopper pushes your head back down again, but this time you take more control. Your hand wraps around his base and you try to remember the moves Nancy had taught you. You bob your head up and down, careful not to use your teeth. The flat of your tongue swirls up and down his shaft with ease, eliciting a muffled groan from the Chief.
"Yeah that shut you right up. Guess my cock is all it takes to shut that pretty mouth up," Hopper grunts, still firmly holding your head. Your once perfect curls become a sweaty mess sticking to the back of your neck and forehead. A hum of contentment resonates from your chest as you continue sucking. Hopper's breath becomes labored and his legs twitch with every movement of your hands and mouth.
A pool forms in your panties, leaving you aching for his cock. You slip your hand between your thighs and stick a finger inside yourself. It's not enough to satisfy you, so you push in another finger. The sounds of your fingers desperately fucking your wet pussy immediately alert Hopper.
"That's enough sweetheart," Hopper says, lifting your head off of him. A whine comes from your throat, but you obey his command.
A firm hand pushes you from your sitting position to laying across the long seat of the truck. The Chief hovers above your body, his legs on either side of you. His eyes look you up and down with pure lust. You get shy and place your arms over yourself out of embarrassment.
"Are you going to sit there all day?" You ask.
"Clearly I haven't fixed your attitude yet," Hopper responds, hiking up your dress and pulling your soaked underwear to the side. He spits into his hand to lubricate his cock before pushing into you.
You let out a gasp as you feel his large cock stretching your pussy around him. The pain leaves your hair standing up, but subsides. Hopper's pace is cruel in its unrelenting speed. Once the pain has stopped you're just left wide-eyed with your mouth agape, unable to speak a word.
"Take it like a champ sweetheart! You talk so much shit, you should be able to," Hopper whispers into your ear.
The Chief's hands grab your thighs and put one over each shoulder. Your heels hit the top of the truck as he hammers deeper inside you. His washed-out jeans provide a rough cushion for your bare legs as they slap against his.
"C'mon you got it, all the way in there, mhmm."
Your attempt at response is a loud moan as he hits your g-spot. Hopper's grunts get louder and more ragged with every thrust. Your pussy grips around him desperately begging for more. Every word you try to form turns into a pathetic whine vibrating in your chest. Your eyebrows knit together as the pressure of your impending orgasm builds in your core. This only riles Hopper up even more.
"What's your name, huh? Can't remember?" Hopper laughs at your poor attempt at communicating. When you're close to a word, he moves his hips faster to stutter your brain. "Dumb slut can't even speak 'cause of Daddy's dick."
Your cunt aches painfully at your horniness. The Chief was already balls deep inside of you, but somehow you still need more. Hopper's cock is slathered in your slick, making it harder to stay inside of you without slipping out. Frustration builds with every thrust before he jackhammers into you.
The first you word you've speak since the start of this encounter is, "FUCK!"
Your orgasm runs straight into you like a freight train. Your pussy creams on Hopper's length, adding extra lubrication for his cock.
"That's it, atta girl," Hopper moans, looking down at your cunt. He fucks your cum back into you with a brutal pace. Your legs tremble in his grip, but he doesn't stop.
"Oh my God!" You shout, thankful that you were in the middle woods. Your eyes roll back into your head from the overstimulation.
"Almost there sweetheart." Hopper's thrusts stutter and his breath hitches for a second before he lets out a sigh. His spend fills up your sore cunt and he forces it back inside you. You can only let out weak little whimpers as the Chief pulls out of you. "Finally got you quiet for once," Hopper whispers against your ear.
Gentle hands pull your dress back down. The truck starts back up and pulls out of the woods. Your eyes close from exhaustion, but you can feel Hopper gently caressing your ankle laying across lap. The drive is a blur of street lights and turns before the car moves up a familiar back road.
You had used this back road many times to sneak into your bedroom after a night of partying. Hopper lifts you out of the truck and carries you to your window. It opens with ease and he places you on the bed that sits right underneath it. He pulls a pink blanket over you before slipping back into the darkness.
Taglist
@hatterripper31
@aiyaaayei
@vipersecret-blog
@kelly-fushiguro345
Tumblr media Tumblr media
171 notes · View notes
Text
A Spoiler Free Episode Guide to Season 3 of Stranger Things
Chapter One- Suzie, Do You Copy?
"Three inch minimum!"
Farrah Fawcett hairspray
GIRLFRIEND?!
CAPTAIN Steve Harrington
Hopper💛💛💛💛💛
Omfg Mrs. Wheeler
"My daughter"
Chapter Two- The Mall Rats
Jancy
Steve/Dustin🥰
"Give him... the medicine."
Girls, girls, girls
Joyce :(
Steve Harrington is the love of my life and the smartest cookie and that is all you need to know
Billy... this ain't your fault, bro
Chapter Three- Case of the Missing Lifeguard
Wishing I had El's powers so I could do that THING that she does at the beginning of the ep
Very quickly taking back that wish. I'm scared. Goodbye
A towel and an unbuttoned shirt
"Oh, yeah? He's brilliant? Is he single, too?"
My fragile, Jopper heart
Nancy Drew
Will :( fucking :( Byers :(
RED. DOOR.
Robin!!!!
Jim Hopper is truly the love of my life and he deserves nothing but love and happiness and as many cigarettes as he wants
Did Jordan Peele write this episode what the fuck is going on
Chapter Four- The Sauna Test
Joyce Byers is the kind of woman I aspire to be
"Men are trash" is real... even in the 80's
Hopper doing Hopper things in THAT shirt
Big yikes, that looked like it hurt
Bigger yikes, that DID hurt
"Touch my butt, I don't care!"
My Jopper heart
SHITHEADS
"He's just an angry old guy who hates joy."
Free
Ice cream
For
Life
"No! If you die, I die." is the best line of the ep. I promise this isn't a spoiler, just really sweet and also ICONIC
Billy is out here breaking my heart
BILLY, PLEASE
BILLY
Chapter Five- The Flayed
So. Much. Screaming.
Jesus, Hopper, not this again
"Joyce, drive. JOYCE, DRIVE."
Smirnoff
"I don't know, girls like hanging out in bathrooms."
CRANKYPANTS
7/11
Does this hallway ever end???
Science lessons
OH MY GOD WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU JESUS CHRIST FINALLY
Steve motherfucking Harrington owns this ass, pussy, and heart
Damn, yo... I knew I hated hospitals for a reason. Wait till y'all see this shit
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Chapter Six- E Pluribus Unum
Only love and respect for MY president (it's Steve. He is my president)
This is the gnarliest, nastiest shit I've ever seen in my life
P U K I N G
Did Carey Elwes find inspiration in like, Donald Trump or something
A strawberry slurpee? It was supposed to be CHERRY
Hopper is just... wow, I have never wanted him more
USS butterscotch
Love a woman who isn't afraid to spit in a man's face, even when she's afraid
Oh my fucking god he said that. He said it. He said THAT
"I like being your schmuck."😫💕
DO NOT hurt him please no stop omg
Antique chariot
Antique chariot AND wheelbarrow
This is the wildest episode I've ever seen
Hey guys
I'm stressed
These noises sound like mac and cheese when you mix it up and it's so, so gross
Chapter Seven- The Bite
Crying
Indie 500
Indie 300
Indie... 1,000,000?
"We all die, my strange little child friend."
I AM STRESSED
Fine, DAD
FINALLY someone brought up the sexual tension
Listen, idc if it's a spoiler, Nancy's hair is fucking iconic
Dustin!!!
Mike!!!
Back to the Future
Been wondering when that brand was finally going to make an appearance
Bathroom bonding
Omg Steve
...okay, well I really wasn't expecting that
Smirnoff🥰
Well, that's not what you want to happen at a carnival
Joyce👏fucking👏Byers👏
OMG YES DADDY PEOTECT ME
The amount of BDE. Just wow. Wow.
Chapter Eight- The Batlle of Starcourt
If that was happening to me I would just ask for the sweet release of death
I'm crying
Wait, is wearing jorts?
"I'm 10, you bald bastard."
I'm crying again
Hopper is just such a mighty fine man and I'm rooting for his success in that shirt
I love a man in uniform... even if that uniform is icky gross
"Despite the arguing I think we make a pretty good team."
YEAH, SO DO WE. SO👏DO👏WE👏
A DATE. A DATE. A VERY IMPORTANT DATE.
Steve Harrington is the motherfucking mvp
AGAIN
"Dusty-bun" I'm screaming
This is the best, most unexpected thing I have ever seen or heard and honestly?
I fucking love it
Hope you guys like a good firework show
PLEASE SOMEONE DO SOMETHING PLEASE
Crying
Again
THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT
A little too late, you fucking assholes
This just a fucking sob fest
Literally not interested in any of this
I'm like... really unhappy
Idk, man
Idk
I DON'T KNOW
24 notes · View notes
Note
idk if u write for Stranger Things but I need some hot dad love for my mans Hopper. No spoilers but like omfg this season HURT me! Maybe something cute like a sucessful date nite or having coffee together?
I hadn’t listed it in my Fandoms, since most of the characters are minors but consider the following:
David Harbour is an absolute gem!
Tumblr media
James “Jim” Hopper aka: Hop, is beautiful and as a lover of all sorts of people I’ve enjoyed him for all three seasons- since 2016
Tumblr media
So, in short,
Hell Yes!
2 notes · View notes
stellarbisexual · 6 years
Text
S2E5
LG DIG DUG LG!
LMAO Hopper’s VM “I’m probably doing something incredible RN” accurate tho
Winona Ryder is so tiny <3
omfg BYELER BLESS US ALL
“And the more he spreads, the more connected to him I feel.” 
omg mike “you’re like a super spy, spying on the shadowmonster.” babe.  babe. <3
(nowkiss)
OH MY FUCKING GOD
SECOND TIME I’M TEARING MY HEADPHONES OFF
MIKE’S HAND ON WILL’S HAND
MIKE’S HAND ON WILL’S HAND
I REPEAT
MIKE’S HAND. ON. WILL’S. HAND.
FAREWELL MY FRIENDS. FAREWELL.
Byeler as F U C K Y’ALL
SKIP INTRO BUTTON YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME GTFO
jancy at that ho-tel mo-tel holiday innnnnnnnnn
LMAO that lady at the front desk: perfectly cast. 
jfc jonathan still soooooo into nancy. HE CALLED HER NANCE <3
omfg matching scars. THEY ARE SO. FLIPPING. CUTE. 
“only a month” hahahaha jonathan you are the KING of saying the WRONG SHIT
aoihdsfonasdfaklfmkadfmdalf MIKE IS ASLEEP ON WILL’S FLOOR my protective bisexual son
omg HOPPER AS DAMSEL IN DISTRESS into itttt
YES MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED, WE ARE AT LUCAS’ HOUSE BLESS
OMFG LUCAS ASKING HIS DAD FOR GIRL ADVICE BYE
“Even when she’s wrong?” CLASSIC FUCKING LUCAS THO
“To hang out with Dustin” worst liar ever
Seriously Lucas’ little sister is the breakout character of this season
Guys I hella ship Lucas/Max already
o fuck poor Dustin gonna have to cover up that cat’s death
uGH POOR DUSTIN’S MAMA LIKEEEE <3
dustin and his mom are like the comedic duo of the century “iLY “ILY” “I LOVE YOU” *mwah*
wow gaten matarazzo has BEAUTIFUL eyes!
“I’M SORRY... YOU ATE MY CAT.” LMFAO
omg eleven going to meet her mama!
well that’s one way to get in.
ELEVEN IS LIKE ALREADY SO PROTECTIVE OF HER MOM, I’M SLAIN
haha nancy pokin’ holes in that dude’s “boxes of pepe” map
omg lucas pulling all sorts of shit for max, my heart
“a safe place to what? be creepy?” bless you, max.
max you’re not gonna be so blase about lucas putting his trust in you after he tells you everything.
will is the tiniest bean <3
o shit bob’s here and he gon use his nerd powers to solve the mystery
“that’s the objective, find the x.” mike you effing nerd.
um why did it take them so long to figure out the drawings are a map of hawkins tho. i mean that’s the most logical thing, right?
(meanwhile i’m still highkey upset about dustin’s cat)
again with the vaginal imagery lol
ooh i have a feeling this is the ep where dustin brings steeb into the mix
lolllll erikaaaaaa #best
“she won’t get any better, will she?” :( :( :(
oh GOD el seeing her baby crib W H Y YOU DO DIS SHOW
MAYBE WILL CAN BRING EL’S MAMA OUT OF THE UPSIDE DOWN
HO SHIT THEY JUST GAVE MAD POLTERGEIST PROPS THERE WITH THE TV BLESS
omg mike’s parents are useless
“son of a bitch you’re really no help at all, you know that?” lmfaooooooo my thoughts exactly, dustin
AWW STEEB WITH HIS FLOWERS <33333333333
YAS THE NAILBAT SCENE IS COMING
I love that Steeb is like automatically on board too
omg save hopper guys pls i’m FULL OF ANXIETY
hahahahahahahah lucas been telling this story the whole time
LOLLLLLLLL getting all meta with max’s criticism of the story of what happened
EEP MAX HELD LUCAS’ HAND BWEEEE
if billy hurts lucas, i will seriously cut a bitch. like not even kidding.
(hahaha just realized the max/lucas ship name can be mucas, as in mucous hahaha)
“stop talking” lmao eleven
papa stealing baby eleven like it’s his job
ELEVEN’S AUNT HELPED THE BAD MEN WTF? whoaaaa eleven’s mama shooting cops like it ain’t no thing
BB ELEVEN <3
more gay imagery thx for the rainbowwwwww
omfg eleven’s poor fucking mother, i can’t. she’s just reliving this horrible trauma for the rest of her fucking life? a w f u l
“IN MY NOW MEMORIES” <3 my gay son
“super spy” <3 supportive bisexual bf mike wheeler
yas beat those vines joyce, also winona’s tiny feet <3
“are we in will’s map?” lmao YES JFC get on board samwise
my sexuality is joyce saving hopper 
“hey bob” “hey jim” lmfao
WTF WILL NOOOOOOO
11 notes · View notes
notrobyn · 6 years
Text
im on episode 8 of stranger things 2 and just to avoid boring anyone with my shit im gonna put my obnoxious stream of consciousness commentary under a read more
yep here it is and we’re starting with billy’s dad being a total fucking bellend i mean i hated billy but i think. maybe. i can let it go based on this dick.
omg is he crying im legit so upset i don’t even care about billy why am i sad abt this 
but hey it’s okay we’re back to steve and the kids having an argument he is literally like their dad also lol max is the only sensible one round here tho why WOULD they run towards the sound
okay real talk. there is a lab in this town and everyone is just like oh. okay. nothing worrying or creepy about that even tho there’s loads of fucking weird shit going down in this town (why do they always put important shit in the basement, idiots)
im having a great time with sean astin tho im fairly sure this is going to be heartbreaking but bob is such a good dude if he turns out to be evil im going to cry
right okay but jonathan, nancy, and steve could solve their problems so much easier by. just. sleeping together. or alternatively never speaking to each other again, both of those would fix it. anyway this love triangle is boring as fuck now but i love all of them separately except nancy hasn’t had anything fun to do this season at all
i think overall i wanted more characterisation this season like i would rather have nothing bad for a really long time so that they could just be normal kids and interact like humans and then the bad thing could happen like later on. also on an unrelated sidenote bob is definitely about to die.
IS THAT DOCTOR FINALLY EVIL i thought he was evil right from the start and then he started being a nice and sensible person but now he’s leading bob - oh WAIT no maybe he’s not trying to kill bob? this is all very very confusing but i can see the evil thing being way too close to sean astin
they both just breathed a sigh of relief which means everything is about to go to fucking SHIT oh bob did u just drop a broom on the floor im so sorry bob this didn’t have to en - oh wait OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK that was horrific
they also really didn’t need to show me the demon creatures eating his whole dead body
these kids tho, they’re so good. i want. more friendship of the kids. but i don’t want joyce/jim esp when her partner just died. that’s not the one. dustin is angry and i am too. about the demogorgons not about joyce and jim lol
oh steve u v pretty fool. but honestly he is me in this situation. 
wait is billy coming back
oh joyce i love u so much she wants to kill it and so do we all. NO are they going to wake will up i feel like that’s a bad idea. are they legit just going to blindfold will oh no wait of course sticking him in a shed is clearly the better option
nancy this is not the moment to talk about ur relationship drama and i think steve knows that too. ur literally fighting an otherworldly monster .
I SAW U HOLDING HANDS ON THE BUS LUCAS sometimes u forget how young these kids are jesus christ also i totally get why mike is not having it with max but also he could stand to be a little nicer esp considering her life seems pretty shitty atm and also they just accidentally involved her in a death world problem idk 
where is billy? i keep suddenly remembering him
lol will literally has no clue where he is omfg they tied him to a chair??? this is horrible and i don’t like it but also he is fucking terrifying holy shit this kid needs awards and shit what a brutal role 
oh no this is gonna get emotional joyce is trying to bring will back from the evil mind flayer by telling him stories about himself and im not sure i can make it through two more episodes without crying lol this is so good..i wish i’d binged the whole season to be honest i think nine episodes in a row of just stranger things would have meant i didn’t have enough time to think about theories and just like. watch the show oh no they’re ALL getting in on it and now mike is crying and. fuck. this isn’t fun. give all these kids awards.
this emotional warfare could go one of two ways. and fuck it went the bad one. WHAT IS HE TAPPING SHIT IN HELL oh no it’s okay also wait did they leave hi alone. oh no it’s fine they’re telling the stories to distract the monster while they actually talk to will this is so clever. wow it’s a good thing there’s so many ppl tho imagine if it was just joyce jonathan nad hopper
CLOSE GATE IS THE CREEPIEST MESSAGE THEY COULD HAVE GOT AND ALSO THAT MEANS WILL KNOWS WHERE THEY ARE shit in fucking . fuck.
i love how organised they are tho even tho they clearly weren’t ready to have to move they did it v cleverly
also wait where is eleven? im sure she was on her way back. omg is mike using  a trophy as a weapon
um. that’s a dead monster in their house wtf is going on here omg is that ELEVEN AT THE DOOR
can’t wait for the mileven meeting also hi i definitely didn’t just cry at eleven coming through the door fuck.
okay that’s the end of the episode and therefore the end of this useless shit. soz for spamming u .
1 note · View note