“gusu emperor's smile buried in the snow,
hiding the memory of a bygone era
the sound of qin sings from the quiet room,
playing inquiry with no response”
this part of the song tells about lan zhan’s longing for wei ying. years of playing inquiry, a song which can connect the living with the dead, yet he received no response. not wanting to accept the fact that wei ying could have been dead, or is already dead. lan zhan doesn’t bother to burn any paper money for him, because simply he didn’t accept the fact that wei ying is dead.
“are you still asking?
questioning all the dead about their obsessive loves?”
this is more like lan zhan asking himself, what is he doing? why is he still asking? why is he still trying so hard to reach wei ying even with all the uncertainties about his whereabouts. why can’t he stop, knowing the pain everytime thinking about the past and their youthful days. but there’s nothing he can do, right? he has an obsessive love for him and it hasn’t dimmed down a bit, and has been going on for years.
“how to measure black and white, who to praise or blame?
can you forget the vow we made
at the cloud recesses, lost to the crowd?
where are you now?
i can't forget you”
lan zhan received the cruelest punishment, 300 discipline whips that left eternal marks on his back. the punishment he got for standing by wei ying’s side, went through the dark together with him. lan zhan, an exemplary disciple whose many people looked up to, finally dared to speak against lan qiren, asking back the question thrown at him. which one is right and wrong? which one is black and white?
lan zhan thought the questions are easy, he certainly knew the answers because the 3000 rules of gusu taught him so. but wei ying suddenly appear out of nowhere into his life and made him question his whole perspective. so many things in the outside world that are more complicated than he thought, that can’t be easily measured with ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. knowing the vow wei ying made back then, lan zhan vowed the same thing. both wish that they can eliminate the wicked and aid the weak, and live with no regrets in their heart.
but then, wei ying left. wei ying left him, his clan, his home, his people and pursue the dark path. but for what? to eliminate the wicked and protect the weak. now, what should he do? should he go to the dark path as well? wei ying did keep his promise, but is this really how it should turn out? he went against the usual, but his intentions are good. he protected the people who have been wronged by the deeds they don’t even commit. he fought the real evil and make them pay. but these are all out of his norms. is this good or bad? why is it so hard to determine which one is good and which one is bad? is wei ying in the wrong, or even myself is the wrong?
he is lost. he needs wei ying to come back. it’s not even about the questions anymore, he just wants his love to be here. many years have passed, many ceremonies have been held every year to call out his soul and make sure that the yiling patriarch is dead, and there is still no sign of his existence left. many years have passed, but even the faith nor the most painful punishment didn’t bring any effect on his reflection. lan zhan didn’t end up concluding that wei ying in fact has made a terrible mistake, that no matter how in love he is with him, he is still wrong and deserves to die. lan zhan knew there are still many things that need to be discovered, that are hidden under the surface. he knew wei ying better than others, lan zhan believes wei ying only have good intentions. just, something not right happened in the middle. wei ying is not wrong.
even if he was, lan zhan couldn’t care less. he loves him, the longing and the painful desire for him to come back hasn’t faltered at all. there’s no point in trying to forget. sizhui is here and the boy is the last thing he has for him to be close to wei ying, each time reminding him that there was a boy he loved so much but now he’s gone. people mentioned wei ying as the yiling patriarch who was cruel and vile, the most evil of all evils, yet the only wei ying lan zhan knew was the boy who were so annoying and shameful, reckless but courageous.
“can i forget?
when all else is gone, you're the only one i won't forget
with you by my side,
all will be well”
he just wants wei ying to come back.
so when wei ying really did come back, lan zhan didn’t waste any second. just like 16 years ago, he protects wei ying whenever he could. he shields wei ying with his body whenever someone dared to point their sword at him. in front of lan qiren, he still stood with his own choice, not being influenced by any norms or rules the gusu has indoctrinate him since young. and just like what his father did, lan zhan brought wei ying to the house where his father hid his mother. bringing wei ying back to gusu, hide him away. securing him in safety.
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Hii if you're still doing the ask game,,Love song-nct127+ friends-to-lovers +reading💙
haechan. (every time I hear of love song I think of him 💙)
"hey y/n, what's the name of that cute cafe we went to last time?", haechan asks you, his skin burning where his left shoulder is touching your right one. you hear the familiar sound of his pretty metallic voice but you're too focused on your book to make out what he's saying. your best friend has been trying to get your attention for the past thirty minutes to no avail, admiring your cute concentrating face; but just that and the rhythmic sound of the raindrops falling on his bedroom window are not enough to keep him entertained. he quickly grabs his umbrella from his desk, snatching your book from your hands and storms off. "donghyuck, if anything happens to my new book you're a dead man!!". he runs outside his apartment, to the hallway, and quickly ascends the stairs when he realises you're following him. when you reach the rooftop, you see him standing next to the edge, umbrella in his one hand and threatening to throw your book from the 10th floor if you don't play with him. you run to his side, only to realise that the umbrella is way too small for the both of you, so you stay close to him while you're throwing little punches on his chest, demanding your book back. after a particularly strong blow, he immobilises you by pulling you flush against him and holding both your wrists in his hand. the move made him drop both the umbrella and the book, the rain falling mercilessly over the both of you. you just stare at the water that is making the hair stick on his forehead and wetting his pretty eyelashes, both your heartbeats banging against your chests from all the running and something else. you look like a mess, haechan thinks, but a mess that he wants to call his, so he collects his courage and plants his full lips on yours. you just stay there, under the rain, lost in each other, and he promises to give you a romance just as good as the ones in the novels you love so much.
send me a song stuck in your head, your favourite fanfic trope and one of your hobbies and I’ll tell you which nct member would challenge you on a rooftop fight and why
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