#omg i think this is the beginning of my cat lady journey

[frida-kahl-of-the-rocky-horror]

I don’t think you understand how FULKIN EXCITED I AM for Inside Out 2

I have so many questions and theories but this is the one I think is the most compelling

If someone else has already come up with this theory, great minds thing alike I guess, I’ve been avoiding anything except for the posters and trailers cause I fell victim to Turning Red spoilers

Ok

Ok

Ok

So you know how the mom, dad, broccoli pizza lady, dog, cat, boyfriend, etc didn’t have any of the new emotions in their mind?

Anxiety, Embarrassment, Ennui, and Envy

I think these emotions are all the dark, more extreme, more negative versions of Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust

As someone who has been institutionalized briefly because my Anxiety was so bad, I can tell you Anxiety is a more extreme version of Fear

Ennui is basically boredom with life, melancholy, or depression, so clearly a more extreme version of Sadness

Embarrassment is inward Disgust, Disgust with one’s self, and is more toxic than regular Disgust

And Envy is Anger over the the perceived unfairness of what other people have. Go watch the ContraPoints video if you haven’t already. But yes, a more toxic manifestation of Anger.

I believe all five of our main emotions — Joy, Sadness, Disgust, Fear, and Anger — will be separated from the control base and the beginning of Riley’s puberty journey, and these negative emotions will take their place

Which, as someone who has gone through puberty three times, I can tell you emotions with puberty are a lot more heightened and extreme

What I’m trying to say is it will be a Dr Jeckell Mr Hyde kinda thing with all the new emotions being Hyde

But I hear you saying, what about Joy

I have a couple theories about Joy’s alternate, toxic self

1) it’ll be a toxic version like the rest, probably Schadenfreude, and the reason they didn’t include Schadenfreude in the teaser is because it’s going to be a big joke when they get introduced, kinda like the burgundy bird in Angry Birds, where Schadenfreude is like this giant menacing emotion, see this

2) it’ll be Love, and they will come in at the end and make the 5 emotion’s rediscover self love and love for their alter ego selves, which will lead to them understanding the complexity and range of human emotions

3) it’ll be Lust, who doesn’t get mentioned until the last second in a post credit scene as a joke for the parents (and they won’t say the full name, just like the character, in a super sexy voice, will be like “I’m luuuuuuuuss-“

4) it will be Obsession and they’re still figuring out the kinks of the character design. Their name fits with the “new emotions names start with a vowel” trend

5) It will be Peaceful, same thing as Love

6) it will be Antici…

…Pation and they’re trying to get Tim Curry to play the emotion version of Frank N Furter

7) Euphoria, but they didn’t want to announce them because Disney might have been in hot water if they announced that before the movie came out because crazy conservatives would be like “OMG DISNEY IS PUSHING DRUG USE ON KIDS?????!!!!???!???”

8) Or I could be completely wrong

Ok

Ok

Ok

Also, for designs, you know how each of the OG five were based on objects associated with their emotions?

Fear was a nerve ending, joy was a star, sadness a tear drop, Anger a fire brick, Disgust broccoli

So far I think Envy is based on the Evil Eye 🧿

Embarrassment is what we in the Bizz like to call a Dysphoria hoodie

Idk about Anxiety and Ennui tbh

Ok

Ok

Ok

Lastly, I’m sad that Bill Hader and Mindy Kaling aren’t returning. No offence to the new actors, but come on Disney, pay your people better

Ok

That’s all for now

#inside out #inside out 2 #disney #pixar #disney pixar #disney theory #movies #film #tumblog #tumblelog #tumblr girls #joy #anger #fear #disgust #sadness #anxitey #ennui #embarrassment #envy #schadenfreude #love #lust #obsession #peaceful #anticipation #euphoria #antici… pation #rocky horror picture show #maya hawke

[atopearth]

Chrono Trigger Part 1 - A Colourful World of Different Ages

As someone who has played Chrono Cross but not Chrono Trigger, I’m curious to see why it’s so beloved haha, right now it just makes me think of Dragon Ball all the time (because of the character designs). But, I’m really liking the soundtrack and atmosphere though, it really has that nostalgic homey feel that I love about JRPGs in the past. Lmao at the maid in the Mayor’s house, she tells you that you can help yourself to all the treasure chests in this house as if it’s a treasure trove and there’s only two chests!! Lady, don’t get my hopes up! Umm, I went to the fair where Lucca is showcasing her new invention or something and I think I just ate the old man’s lunch!! LOL, I’m sorry old man. I might have to restart just because I feel bad eating it. Is Marle a princess btw? Anyway, lmao at the Biggs and Wedge in the horror house lolll. Ohhh I guess this is how the two games are similar? They both have a pendant that causes them to kinda be transported somewhere else? It’s really cool of Crono to chase after Marle when she disappeared though! I mean, who knows where she went! At least it’s not the fault of Lucca’s invention lol, since it worked properly when Crono was on it without the necklace haha. I assume that this is the past when there was a war going on and this Queen Leene that the people are saying have been found is probably Marle? Oh wait, 600 AD? It’s 400 years ago! HAHAHA omg the little green/blue Piccolo monster can ride on the ball monster hahahaha how cute. Anyway, as expected, we’re going to have to find the real queen, since if she dies, Marle/Princess Nadia isn’t going to exist~ Dunno why Marle keeps disappearing though! On another note, Lucca sure came here fast and found Crono in no time lol!

Damn, monster nuns?! Awww! A frog guy to the rescue!! HAHAHA Frog has a skill called slurp that licks a party member and heals their HP hahahaha. I guess the reason why Marle “disappeared” and came back was because Queen Leene’s life was in danger, so Marle’s existence was questioned. Lmao at everyone in the castle now saying that yeah Marle couldn’t have been Leene after all since she ate so much and had no manners🤣🤣 I feel sorry for Frog but I can understand why he blames himself, he was the Queen’s knight and yet she got captured by Yakra… At least he saved her! Lucca is pretty amazing to be able to make a gate key to keep the gate there for them to go back to their time. She’s not dodgy at her inventions at all! Well, I didn’t expect it to go well but I didn’t think bringing Marle back to the castle would make her father etc think Crono was a kidnapper. Well, it’s just the dodgy Chancellor mainly but still. Lmao at the trial, like I’m sorry I picked up Marle’s pendant before caring about her lmao, she was already standing dude! Yes, I’m such a terrible person LOL. Anyway, apparently helping the girl find her cat was enough to make Crono a good enough guy lol. I guess not eating grandpa’s lunch really helped my case too HAHAHA. Not that it matters since the Chancellor still wants to execute Crono! I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to let Crono keep his weapons whilst in jail though lmao. LMAO at the piece of paper detailing the weaknesses of the tank boss, “as long as no crazy lunatic starts hacking at it with a sword, it should be invincible” hahahaha. I love how Lucca always comes to save the day though, she’s so cool haha. Hahahah I love how the dragon tank explodes on the bridge and the Chancellor and mechanics are then used as the broken part of the bridge for you to cross (since they’re all holding on to their dear lives) hahaha. It was pretty reckless of them to all run and jump into a Gate though, like who knows where it goes?!

It’s kinda saddening that these people (in 1999 AD/destroyed future?) seem to be at the mercy of their own technology that they developed, especially when Doan said they were atop food storage but they can’t access it because the robots are protecting it. Imagine starving on top of a pile of food… Ohh wow, so 1999 AD the day of Lavos is when Lavos appeared from underground around the world and destroyed it all? I was so nervous about losing to Johnny in the race across the ruins but lmaoo it doesn’t even matter! It’s not that far! And I have to go back into the ruins to get a chest anyway loll. Omgg Robo is such a cutie! It was so saddening when his “friends” called him a defect (since Lucca fixed him and he’s not a normal robot following the functions of killing intruders) and thrashed him! Even I had trouble dealing with them though, way too many robots lol. Anyway, we really gotta appreciate how amazing Lucca is to be able to fix future machinery like dang. Now we have a new friend too! 

Omg the End of Time? It looks pretty much like the Bend of Time in Chrono Cross, it’s kinda cool how funky these things are haha. Wow, for a second, I was wondering whether 1000 AD was actually their home world and time hahaha, it was so different, I was confused! But it seems that in the underworld or whatever that’s where the fiends are living, and they hate the humans and wished that the Magus who created the Lavos killed all the humans 400 years ago? Hmm I wonder why they didn’t kill them all back then and instead decided to kill the humans around 1999 AD? I wonder if talking to Magus or stopping him from creating the Lavos will solve things… Wow, I can’t believe the war here seems to be speeding up really fast! I wonder who is the hero? On the other hand, I never realised the Commander and chef in the castle were brothers! It’s kinda cute how they’re both rough around the edges being stubborn about how their respective teams are more exhausted etc but in the end, they understand how difficult a time it is and will always help each other out. Didn’t think the king himself nearly fought to his death though, how reckless! Lmao at spiced jerky being the rations that the soldiers needed hahahaha.

Lmao at the Freelancer monster (that looks like a bird), it legit throws rocks at you hahahaha. LMAO at the sheep looking guy that says mountains are so nice, I legit kept talking to him because I felt that there must be a reason for him to be here and lolll if you annoy him enough times he gives you a magic capsule hahahah! I nearly died when he said “you’re not gonna leave me alone huh” LOL. Well, I didn’t expect to find Masamune on a random mountain! They’re so cute separated as two little kids though, yet so ugly in their combined monster form lmaoo. Well, it was to be expected that the real hero was actually Frog, but to think he has the hilt for Masamune! I feel like he feels he’s undeserving to be the hero not just because he wasn’t able to protect the Queen properly though hmmm. Dang, Ayla gets a cool introduction! Didn’t expect her to come from 65,000,000 BC though when I first saw her in the opening. Honestly though, it felt as if Crono fell in love with her at first sight haha! Anyway, it’s kinda cool to come all the way here for the Dreamstone (to fix the Masamune), it kinda reminds me of Chrono Cross when they had to go to Another World for hydra stuff since it was extinct in their own world. Glenn huh? Anyway, didn’t expect Magus to be a good looking guy! Well, he’s a bunch of pixels but I think he’s good looking! Lol!

I can see why Frog was so adamant on not going along with Crono and them before. He was Glenn, the guy who went along with Cyrus (the Captain of the castle who everyone admired, and even the King and Queen relied on him very much and still speak about him) to defeat Magus, but in the end, Cyrus sacrificed his life to protect Glenn so he could survive and retreat, yet in the end, Magus just turned him into a frog because of the “coward” he was. Not only that, but Cyrus’ last words asked of Frog to protect the queen and them, and yet the queen was kidnapped in the beginning of the story. So you can really see why he would feel so unworthy of being the hero that will save this land. But now that the weapon Cyrus wielded has been fixed (Masamune) and there are new companions enlisting for his help, I think it’s about time Frog stopped blaming himself! It’s time to show Magus that he’s not a coward! It was pretty cool to see Frog slash a mountain in half, like dang, I guess Cyrus was right to say Frog was stronger than him, he just never had the confidence since he was always stunted by his fear. Well, Ozzie is pretty annoying with his traps lmao, kinda childish at the same time though hahaha! I guess it was expected that Magus only summoned Lavos and didn’t create them since they’re beings that have stayed under the planet(?) consuming power etc to become as strong as they are to end up destroying the world in the future.

Crono and them riding the Dactyl to the reptite castle was cool haha! I feel sad for Kino that he doesn’t get to fight alongside them though, especially since he’s aware that he’s not as strong as Crono and Ayla. Lmaooo at Nizbel complaining about Crono and them walking past him even though he was flexing his muscles and showing them that they needed to defeat him before they can get to Azala hahahah. Hmm, Lavos creates these time gates? 12,000 BC time!

For now, I’m really enjoying Chrono Trigger more than I thought I would! I’ve always averted from time travel stories because I never really found them too interesting, but I really love how the idea is implemented in this, like, it’s literally fun! Not only do you get to see how different the different eras are, but I think the monsters, the people and everything is just so detailed and interesting. Like, it’s hard to forget the NPCs and stuff because they all have such personality, like whether it be the chef and the commander in the castle, the monsters playing ball with each other, and just everyone you encounter along the journey really shows how colourful the world is and how interesting it is to explore it all. The graphics may not be the best considering how old it is, but I think they’re so cute. I kinda wish Crono actually talked or nodded and stuff a bit more, but I guess it’s okay since the rest of the characters talk haha. Honestly though, I think the charm of the game is definitely in the aspect of adventuring in time and how different everything is, yet also how enjoyable it is. And you kinda get a side dose of we need to save the world from Lavos, so it has the typical JRPG feel to it as well haha. Combat is also pretty interesting! Not too hard as well so that’s great, but I really love the dual techs where two characters cooperate to do one skill, I just love watching all the different combinations!

#chrono trigger

[ayakashiramblings]

WTFur-Real Episode 2: Nachi’s Real Age

Right under our noses, in homes, cities, sofas and even laps. One in five of us owns a cat. Yet, only one person in the entire Capital knows what is called…. a Nekomata.

The passion for loving a Felis Silvestris Catus yokai has yet to take off. Dozens of experts just have to attribute such a blasphemous phenomenon to the fact that… it is hard to determine a true Nekomata’s age. That, and maybe the fact we don’t even know if it is an Ayakashi or not.

Is his age merely defined by the very lips that move to meow… but like a newborn kitten instead of a teenaged cat? Will we have to accept that his frolicking in the fields is to be expected of long-honed instincts or new urges surging through a young body? How are we to capture the timely essence of this puzzling creature? To do that, we…

You.

RA! Yura wants you to do this.

Damn it.

Gaku… are you still mad at me?

No, I am simply wondering how did you restore this in perfect condition with that wand of yours while I had to hunt down all those expensive components to make ANOTHER unnecessary one. Nope, no big deal. So, what are we doing?

We are turning into Ayakashi detectives, unravelling this feline enigma from the mystic mountain shrines to a Milk Hall swarmed by dozens of dust bunnies and even random streets Nachi just has to travel on.

Our journey begins here, at home, and the first piece of information I offer is a confession: 

I know Nachi cheats on his diet.

A lot of my research takes place out in the field so I can study how he moves in his natural environment. Studying an animal in the wild without disturbing his natural behaviour has never been easy, but over the past few years, ever since I turned five, I have learnt to gather intel… from sources that he encounters along his perilous journey for defying everything the veterinarian has told me to give him as we follow him.

With a bounce of a ballerina, senses so acute, he can pinpoint all the food coming his way from every vendor… dried sardine, vegetables, flowers…

Damn, this guy gets a parade every time he’s here.

Here, it seems, Nachi will now take a cat-nap right in front of our first stop: Milk Hall Raccord. We must hurry to meet someone who could possibly provide valuable insight into the shared history of the Nekomata and the people he has entranced.

Living for a long time (longevity) and the growing old (ageing) are two entities fused at the hip (original or replacement). Those very processes elude several fine specimens. Like how living a century is something all too familiar for this Domeki proprietor: Oji-san.

Here, he is busily practising his energy-saving methods with his Tengu-branded cigars. He always welcomes customers, and that is what we are to him at this very moment stepping through the empty halls of Raccord.

"Ah, bright eyes and... Gaku? Weird pair. Guess the 2nd date went well?"

Dementia is seriously creeping into his poor body just minutes into the very serious interview.

"Just so you know, this interview it better not be the omurice recipe because if Aoi ever finds out the secret ingredient, I know he will kill me in my sleep."

"We just want to ask you some questions about... what you have seen."

"Well, I saw this pretty lady..."

Ok, leave this one to me. It needs a blunt touch.

"No. We mean, when you were younger. Like, way much younger. And if you ever saw an unusual cat."

"Exactly, I was talking about a pretty lady. A pretty cat lady."

Who would have thought at the very first stage of our travels we would chance upon this rare fountain of knowledge? Fountain being that he is flooding all of our senses with some tales of all the ladies the used-to-be-young Oji once tried to court. We silently sip on the milk in serious contemplation… of how this lady has… and I quote from the notes I am taking… ‘long hair’, ‘manicured nails’, ‘pearly whites’, ‘an amazing… derriere’, ‘poor balance’, ‘was a vegan’...

"Wait, you said it was a cat lady?"

"Yup."

"She... sounds a bit too human."

"Oh, she was one. And she is dead by now I think."

"... Then why did you say she was a cat lady."

"Because she loved showing off her claws. Rawr, she was feisty."

It was then we knew… we should have gone with Ginnojo and Kuro first.

Then, after what seems like an eternity, the very pair marches in.

Here is the cool man who works at Kusanagi Books, the small book lenders next to this very restaurant and witnessing legendary events.

Why does the title card say Gin-Gin?

One word. Kuro.

"Hmmm.. A nekomata in the Edo period..."

"Truth be told, I haven't even encountered that many ayakashi species. It was only when the era ended that I saw more coming into the Capital."

Alas, it seems that Nachi has not crept into the hearts...

"Then again, I did meet a Bakeneko once."

"Wait, really? What about it?"

"It screamed a lot."

…

...

"The blood was more purple than red."

Make. Sure. Nachi. Never. Ever. Sees. This.

Noted. Cue transition?

Please.

Here we meet another loyal regular and possible informant: Kuro! He is a performer in the wildly successful Lorenzi Circus Troupe, this happy-go-lucky guy can put a smile on anyone’s face with one of his signature hugs.

D’aww.

Gack!

Hugs that should have embraced the fluffiness of a beloved Nekomata in his younger days.

“Hmmm… I have hugged a tiger!”

… I am changing the questions.

Go ahead, I give up.

“Ok, since everyone is gathered here… ahem, to put it lightly, how does it feel being more… senior or junior to the others?”

“It’s interesting learning from the others and seeing how the Capital has grown. Nobody even knows that more Ayakashi are coming to the city so we remain vigilant.”

“But also welcome them. You youngsters these days have all sorts of interesting things.”

“It’s great hearing all sorts of stories from Old Man and Gin-Gin! And they are living proof!”

Could that be Nachi’s feelings that have sustained his cute, fuzzball form? The indomitable thirst of justice, love and patriotism? Oh, such loyalty only possible in...

Er… MC?

Shh… this is getting good.

Yeah, so is Nachi getting good-to-go for home.

Gagh! After that cat!

MC, are you sure you can handle the camera and cue cards? It's pretty bulky.

Oh, I'm not holding the cue cards, Kuya is!

... He is just snoring... Wait, there is something floating above... Oh wow, he is actually... lifting them with his snores…. Also, what is he doing here?

Koga had some business with my father so he dropped him off here. Also, Koga’s distracting Nachi with petting him as Tama.

Indeed, observe how Nachi/Tama’s head lolls back, eyes closed in pure bliss as Sir Koga gets just that right spot. That’s it, Koga, scratch it. Scratch it while we scratch the surface… of Nachi’s 9 lives with two beautifully aged instruments.

“Hehe, oh my lady. Ne’er is there a dull moment when thou art beside me.”

The mysterious Yura used to dwell apart from society in an abandoned shrine. Having lived for over 1,000 years, his wisdom is an invaluable asset to the team and now, could be our greatest asset in this mystery.

“Maybe because she was dull enough to forget that we had known her past-self.”

A machinist by trade, this genius craftsman is known throughout the Capital by his pseudonym “Mr Kakyu.” Frankly, Gaku should have been called ‘Silver Tongue Tangled By MC’.

“By the way, how is the popcorn brother?”

“Sweet enough to sate my cravings. Many thanks, brother Gaku and milady MC!”

As Yura happily indulges in the caramel treat, he reveals,

“Well, there is one thing that I think is pertinent to this fine entertainment form...  pray, may I know what are those Nachi dons in his human form?”

A cheap abomination. We already did that with Kuya.

“Hmm… well, the only cat I saw with thee 1000 years ago wast just a kitten.  Weak at yond, and not coequal medicine couldst solveth half of its ailments.  Only thy loveth hath kept that him going.”

“I… didn’t really interact with Nachi in the past that much if he really was that cat 1000 years ago. All I remember was him tailing you even though he was bo-legged.”

“Hey, MC, why aren’t you narrating?”

“... Sorry, just had something in my eye.”

“What? Oh, don’t worry MC! I got you something!” came the boyish exclamation out of nowhere.

To MC’s shock, Nachi had suddenly thrust a whole bouquet of flowers, vegetables… and dried sardines and chicken wings into her face.  

“Hope you like it, MC! I got it from all these nice people!”

Of course, he is enshrouded by the warmest of sunlight and MC’s arms at that moment. So, we have come to the stunning conclusion… he is a baby to be protected. People say you choose a dog but the cat chooses you.

What people can’t say but I can say is that Nachi is the best friend you can have in any book of your life. From Dawn to Night.

Epilogue

Nachi tried to get both cameras working with his claws. This time, not even the Kagura bell wand could save them.

We then deduced he is probably really one of those naughty teenagers. 

A/N: OMG. I did it. I... dunno if it is worthy of being a series though, LOL. But this has been fun! I hope you guys like it and if you didn’t or found this weird (because I did at some points), feel free to shoot a message here.

Bold: Gaku’s voiceover

Italicised: MC’s voiceover

Normal: Characters conversing/MC or Gaku narrating

#ayakashi romance reborn #ayakashi: romance reborn #arr #ayakashirr #ayakashi rr #ayakashi nachi #voltage headcanon #voltage inc #voltage otome

[serahsanguine]

The Experience of London Film and Comic Con

I will be writing this a blog typestyle. Starting from the beginning of the day and ending up with the journey home. All spelling mistakes are my own and probably has punctuation missing.  I am hoping by writing this it helps sink in or so I have a documented record of what happened for a future purpose. (also I was asked) so the morning was a very early start 3 o'clock wow lol. the train from Derby to London was pleasant either if the steward/stewardess was sick there no freshments/ drinks on the journey there.   so when I arrived at St Pancras international finding which tube was slightly stressful as I get so confused by maps, it's unreal. but I asked for help and they were lovely, telling me where to go and it helped so much as I was a nervous wreck (The first time of many throughout the day)   when I finally arrived at Paddington station, around 8 the beautiful Mags @Magdalena357569 helped me out and find the bus route to Olympia which in its self-was a nice journey going past the Winston Churchill pub with some beautiful flowers on and around the building but I did wonder how they kept them all so vibrate with this heat wave we have experienced. arriving at Olympia was fun even though me and mags had no clue where we were going we arrived near the gold passes entrance and were told to wait there to be moved around to gate H, it was sunny and warm I honestly thought I was going to burn because of that's what I do in the sun.   anyways that was an s shape zigzag thing which took a good half hour before we were moved to gate H. when we actually got into the Olympia who would have guessed more queuing, we picked up our diamond passes which were by the first letter of Surname (There should have been signs!) so we had to queue twice.  when we finally got our David Duchovny Diamond pass we got our day passes scanned and more Zig-Zaging through at least this time it was moving well for a time anyway kept stopping every known and again but never mind. that took another 30 minutes to get through before we actually got into the venue. once in the venue the was a quate little coffee shop over to your right where we met half the hang of ladies that we were going with. once accomplished we no cat Caroline Poole @CarolineRPoole Sam @medicaldoctxr Elaine myself and mags and Elaine's dad  (Who is amazing by the way with a great sense of humor) we went to find David Duchovny signature place and oh boy was that fun. The Olympia if you have never been, is huge and I mean huge the maps available are very misleading. so we worked our way upstairs to find where most of the signatures were being held and guess what no DD so we asked a steward who hadn't a clue so we walked around like lost puppies not having a clue where to go. We walked through to where the photo were being held still no DD we kept asking steward's who hadn't a clue so, in the end, we got very very lost and hot and sweaty.  (There should have been a map to tell you where everything was just saying!. I was told there were maps but I never found them)   after about an hour of looking, (and a Very angry me) we finally found DD signature stand (Finally) we had lost some of our group oops lol. anyway, we were waiting for the queue to get that (Now me sam and Elaine) where I was able to get a copy of Miss subways (OMFG I finally got a copy) the line for the autographs wasn't that long. The actually autograph what a buzz first off I was so nervous, shaking everything but wow what an experience, David talked to me like we actually had a conversation he asked who was the signature so I said, Sarah and he asked with an h now I must have pronounced the h weird because he pronounced h differently to me obviously him in an American accent and me in a British accent or something like that. (later sam told me its because he couldn't get over it was with an h lol) but I was like yes it Sara with an H and we laughed about it.   let me tell you it was a surreal experience actually talking to the man that is your idol. for as long time. he was so nice and his voice was slightly deeper then I was expecting but soothing at the same time. and he was very pleasing to the eye if I don't say so myself.   Then I waited for Sam you had an amazing Brick Photo and he was stunned that it was his dog and he signed it to Samantha from Brick - David Duchovny and omg was she happy we got out of the enclosed both and she was having a meltdown in true sam style. we waited for Elaine and then had to sit down and calm down from our adrenaline rush (one of many).   once we had finally calmed down I needed to go outside. And wouldn't you know it? Me and Sam got lost again (They Need to sell Damn Maps just saying) so we finally got the exit and got stamped and were told we could come back in the same door (Yes i believed the lie)  so we finished up outside to find out we could not go back through the door we came out off and had to go back around to the start gate H bagged searched and stamp recognised with had to do the damn zig-zag thing again (oh the joy) luckily lot fewer people so only took us about 10 mins. we meet back up with Elaine and her dad we got the message that our friend and not so stalked dd on video which was so funny because he didn't realize (some bodyguards they were) so it was becoming near the time for photos (We got lost again) once the photo booth were found we had more queuing and more panicking and more adrenaline pumping through our systems.  and more zig-zag snake things (a regular occurrence) me and Sam were so excited and nervous but it was so fun. I got asked several occasions where I got my bag from and if it was for sale I am sorry guys I did it my self. one in the photo booth square we gave our bags to the photo people and waited for our time to have a photo taken. I was talking to Sam about I would just be happy with a hug all I wanted and then it was my turn.  when he spotted me he was like it Sarah with an h I was like yes it is. he asked how I was, I said I was great and asked him how he was. And we had our photo taken. His arm (Those arms are to die for) around my shoulders (i'm small) has hand touched my X-file tattoo (which at the time i didn't realize) and I put my head on his pectoral muscle/shoulder/neck area it was so warm and amazing (True Fan fic style) when finished I said by and went and waited for Sam and got my photo and bag and left the photo booth area. he was wearing dark jeans grey top black trainers with orange laces. (Wow damn he was hot)   So me and Sam (we lost Elaine)  talked about what happened and he remembered her because of the Brick photo and she tripped on his shoe (only sam) and she doesn't like her photo but in my opinion, she looks amazing. we live streamed (which can be found somewhere on my twitter profile.) to try and calm down and breath and because I promised I would we eventually found Elaine and her Dad and a hotdog stand yay. by this time we realized we had 4 hours to kill (WOW). food eat time to find an exit for some fresh air. we got lost again and if it wasn't for Elaine's dad we would have been lost a long time, we went past some of the best cosplay I have ever seen. I even found the TARDIS which for me as a Doctor Who fan was amazing, there were Daleks and everything including Cybermen cosplay. once done with our outside actives and back in we went in the search for merchandise and we found @underthefloorborads stall with @chimera work and yes i bought one and omg it amazing I also found a pop store with Fox Fricking Mulder (very rare indeed) and I found another beautiful poster for the X-Files and I even got an MSR pillow (no blankets I really want a blanket)  that killed about an hour - two hours looking for everything and getting lost so many times and a damn sight lof of walked we found somewhere to sit down and just rest.   so after this, me and Sam went to the talk and were in the third row I cam to know the Deadpool, Orville, the x-files trailers by heart waiting for David to appear on the screen. and wow what a talk it was so many good questions asked like Gillian question, would he work on other project directing, writing. what genre of work he finds scary or hard. different ways his name been pronounced, and if he had any European work coming up, Insta questions I have one complaint tbh and it's not David's fault but where the talk was placed was horrible and the sound of the questions plus the sound of David was not very clear. so basically the speakers were terrible. but all in all I got some good photo and David made me laugh and he's swearing is so funny and erotic he honestly so nice and sweet and one amazing person in general. I have meet so many people off twitter that was amazing to finally meet people that I have talked to over social media was surreal and amazing. so all together it was a long and exciting day meeting David was a dream come true. he nice and amazing. just an amazing all around person. the con its self-was amazing some amazing stalls. some amazing people met, amazing items being sold and very exciting and fulfilling journey. home-bound well I got my very first uber like that its self is an x-file especially after seeing David it gave me season 10 flashback.  that was nice and pleasant and quite cheap tbh. so i arrived at Paddington subway and had an anxiety attack (joy not) all sorts of stuff going through my head about missing train etc. but once arrived at St Pancras International I seemed to half calmed my self down I was 45 mins early for my train. so I waited and waited and finally got on the train home. I had a table all to myself I'm a lucky girl like that and it kind of hit me but I'm still not fully there even today writing this. i heard one of his song on Spotify and cried because i had actually met him (i think it was tiredness it had been a long day. I got home about home at 10 pm.   so that's

me recall of yesterday thanks for reading. any question just ask me on twitter or tumblr.        

#london film and comic con #londonfilmandcomiccon #lfcc #lfcc2018 #davidduchovny #david duchovny #london #blog

[yuanfenbd-blog]

YUANFEN FEST ROUND 1: REVEALS + FINAL NOTES

The Baeksoo party has finally come to an end but don't you worry, the fun is not yet over because there are still lovely fics for you to catch up with and come back to :> That being said, we want to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for supporting us and participating in this fest, may you be a prompter, writer, or reader! This fest wouldn't have been possible in the first place if not for you. We would give the spotlight now to our writers as we unveil who they are but before anything else, here are some words from our mods:

MOD MOCHI

Somehow, It only feels like yesterday when two of my fellow Baeksooies came into my DMs and told me about the apparent lack of Baeksoo fics in the EXO ficdom. I vividly all the times we complained because we’re craving for more until finally, we decided to simply take a leap of faith and create our own Baeksoo-centric fic ourselves. It was the epitome of a “Fuck, I’ll do it myself” situation because we knew our complaints would reach nothing if we don’t do our part in helping resolve the situation.

A week after, we decided to meet up and discuss this concept further in person. Believe it or not, I actually made a presentation/pitch deck about the fest, featuring a complete list of our objectives, content execution, and promotional strategy. We wanted to treat it as a passion project, as our little baby we would nurture months later on because aside from bringing new Baeksoo fanworks, we wanted to help bring the ‘community’ together.

Fast-forward to six months later and here we are now. It hasn’t been an easy journey for anyone, but it’s what makes this whole thing worth it because despite the difficulties that came along the way, you guys stuck by our side ‘til the end. And for that, we couldn’t be any more thankful.

To our prompters: thank you for your creativity and enthusiasm in participating in this fest. You all gave our writers gems to work with; this fest wouldn’t have been able to move forward if not for your participation.

To our very talented writers: thank you so, so much for sharing your talents with all of us. We know writing fic isn’t that easy especially when you’re bounded by deadlines (+ real life responsibilities) but you guys pulled through and made it! I hope you are all as proud of your works as much as we are. It is very interesting to see Baeksoo and the extension of their dynamics through a different set of eyes in every fic that was submitted to this fest, but the feeling of joy that each one gives is all the same. Thank you for making us fall in love with this pairing a hundred times and more, all over again.

To our beta readers: thank you for your hard work too. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have a second set of eyes that could review your work for feedback. Thank you for working closely with our writers and holding their hand; I want you to know that you guys also play a very important role in the creative process of making a fic.

To our readers: may you spend the rest of the year getting good grades, having a fun time at work, and achieving all your personal goals because, at the end of the day, there’s more Baeksoo fics for you to enjoy and drown yourself with! Thank you for supporting us from the beginning ‘til the end, we hope you’d give our writers the love they deserve too by giving them feedback on their fics.

And lastly, to my co-mods: girlies, we did it! No tea, no shade, no pink lemonade — but you guys worked just as hard in making this fest possible! I want you both to know that I’m very proud and thankful for you two. Thank you for being so patient, friendly, and hardworking. I consider this fest as my passion project and it was a pleasure to be able to share this journey with you both.

MOD BREAD

Wow! Until now I am still amazed. We've been thirsty for almost two years for a new wave of Baeksoo-centric fics in our fandom so I am very happy that Yuanfen has been the answer to our pleas to end this drought. And now, we're almost drowning with great gems to read. Haha

To the readers,  you know we all living the good life and eating well. I hope you enjoyed all the fics you've read and gave them love. Thank you so much for  reading, giving kudos and comments to the fics and recommending them on your SNS. To the writers, the real mvps of this fest, You are fricking fantastic. This will never be a success without you guys who took their precious time making these wonderful fics to life! Istg I want to hug all of you, one by one. Thank you for sharing your talents in making the readers drown in feels. To my forever understanding co-mods (who almost did all the work), I sincerely apologize for not being that active in terms of  emailing and other stuff. I am so thankful that because of you guys, this fest has been a success and organized. Thank you so much and congratulations for a job well done! /hugs you both/ And to the banes of this fic fest's existence aka BAEKSOO (joke!), we did this all for you so we have many fics to reread again once you feel like  giving us another long term drought. But for now, we're eating good with all the interactions and feels you gave this 2017 .

MOD PEACH

Hi everyone!!! Finally we’re on the last phase of this round and I couldn’t express how grateful I am to all of you (prompters, writers, beta readers, readers) who participated in our fest *sobs*

Okay so, first off, I would like to thank the writers!! You guys are amazing. I remember the moment we received the first ever submitted fic (I’m usually in charge of email-ing you guys so haha) I teared up cos omg it’s happening and also it’s our first time mod-ing a fest so we’re really thrilled about it haha. Thank you so so so much for your dedication and effort in making this fest possible and we hope you guys will continue your passion in writing cos yall are really talented ;;

Next, the readers!! Thank you very much for hyping the fics and giving all the love it deserved and we hope you guys will read them all cos I swear they’re all so good I’ve already read most of them lol

And lastly, to my co-mods!! I’m sorry I keep on bugging you guys about everything I’m just so nervous I might have mistakes (which I already did fml) and thank you very much for all your hard works despite your crazy workloads!!! You guys are the best I hope we can still continue this in the future haha

We would also like to apologize for any confusion that we’ve made e.g., changing of deadlines without prior notice, and others. We have previously addressed this matter on our CC so we hope you guys understand it and we’ll try to meet all your expectations once we’ve decided to push our round 2 *winks*

So, anyway, that’s it!!! Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart to all of you who made this fest successful and we hope you guys will continue loving Baeksoo as much as we love them!!

♥*♡+:｡.｡      'ㅅ' ♡ ⊙♡⊙     ｡.｡:+♡*♥

STATS

For this round, we garnered a total of  353 prompts (self-prompts excluded) and 44 fics written by 42 writers. Our average word count is 14, 762 words; meanwhile, our total word count is 645,556 words!

We were pleasantly surprised to find out that most of our writers wrote long fics. A special shout-out goes to UNCONQU3R3D and encoru for writing two fics each respectively; and to Bbaegi for submitting 76k worth of fic! Thank you so much!

And now, without further ado, here is our master list!

♥*♡+:｡.｡      'ㅅ' ♡ ⊙♡⊙     ｡.｡:+♡*♥

♡ DAY 1 ♡

Red Sunset Glow by sehnsvcht

T | 35.7k

If someone had told Kyungsoo that all it takes to shut Baekhyun up—and, maybe, get over his fears—is one simple, one scary kiss, maybe he would have tried it sooner. Maybe.

Hop in, I can take you there (Follow the path to my heart) by kumo_is_kumo

E | 12.2k

Baekhyun, who doesn’t believe in love at the first sight, meets a cute guy called Kyungsoo while visiting his grandmother on the countryside and he thinks that Kyungsoo might be the one. The only obstacle is that Kyungsoo is a cucumber farmer.

Let Me Care, You Deserve So Much Better by Agrippa

M | 8.4k

What Kyungsoo sees in the newly acquainted Baekhyun is someone who deserves a lot more. Baekhyun doesn't see it himself, but Kyungsoo is about to change everything he's ever known.

(Oh!) I Can't Stop by X_yehet_pcy

E | 4.9k

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are roommates, Baekhyun’s had a big secret crush on Kyungsoo since forever, Chanyeol and Jongdae are questionable friends. Well.

♡ DAY 2 ♡

I Could Be The One To Set You Free by vavole

M | 20.8k

(fake dating!au) Actor Do Kyungsoo thinks that he is too good at leaving love, but Idol Byun Baekhyun teaches him otherwise because loving someone can be simple.

a cataclysm of minor proportions by lady-serendipity (jezz)

M | 6.6k

Roommates!AU. Kyungsoo finds a kitty on the streets on his way home and brings it to their apartment to take care of it, but apparently Baekhyun is afraid of cats?

If You Like Me, Say You Like Me by fadetotomorrow

M | 3k

It shouldn't be so difficult for Baekhyun to figure out his Kyungsoo problem, not that he has one.

it don't run in our blood by marcel

M | 14k

When crown prince Kyungsoo learns he's been betrothed to someone since before he was born, he has a hard time trying to adjust to the idea before his fiancé arrives at the palace. It doesn't help that his husband-to-be defies all his expectations - but in the worst or best way?

♡ DAY 3 ♡

Revisions by Daphnean

E | 11.3k

It wasn’t as if liking Kyungsoo was a big secret; like it’d be out of character or weird for him. He was out and Professor Do was a fairly liked, and lusted after, instructor on campus. Still there was something unsettling to Baekhyun about making it concrete, even for a moment.

Limes and Coastlines by Yifanning (bambitae)

M | 28.3k

Answers submerge when you've faced the eye of the storm—thus, Kyungsoo stood on his toes, nearing the ledge, gazing into the dark, deep end. Close to pulling back, closer to falling in.

Love is Forever (Your Forever is All That I Need) by Bbaegi

T | 76.8k

"I’ve never felt forever when I kissed someone. Have you?" Baekhyun heard himself whisper, voice as gentle as the first notes of a lullaby meant to tame a child’s fear and lure them into a gentle slumber filled with nothing but sweet melodies to dance around with instead.

Winter Heat by UNCONQU3R3D

E | 23.5k

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun somehow, conveniently, get trapped together in a snowstorm and are forced to survive. Easier said than done since they can't stand each other.

♡ DAY 4 ♡

Engraved in Your Heart by UNCONQU3R3D

E | 28.2k

Highschool!AU where Baekhyun, high school bad boy and leader of a street gang, falls in love with a social outcast, the blind kid, Kyungsoo.

Be Careful What You Wish For by quebaek

M | 7.3k

Baekhyun didn't expect Yixing to suddenly go out of town and ask him to house sit. He also wasn't expecting to find and break a cool looking crystal orb in his attic. He especially wasn't expecting a man named Do Kyungsoo to appear of it and give him a hard time. That's for sure.

redamancy by anon_nim

M | 4.5k

Oddly, he feels like he’s on a ‘time out’, the kind that children get from their parents when they do something bad and have to reflect about it in the corner. Except, Baekhyun is a grown up man and Kyungsoo is supposed to be his bandmate-cum-boyfriend.

Pen Me Down by dosmilkshake

M | 7.7k

“I would rather kill a panda.” “You’re terrible. They are endangered!” “That should tell you much I hate the idea of kissing him then.”

♡ DAY 5 ♡

Penny for your Socks by crownjules

M | 5.2k

Baekhyun didn't expect his soulmate to be so unfashionable; Kyungsoo knew his was an asshole.

Another Dream Away by foxxlight

T | 15.9k

For years Baekhyun has dreamed of a dragon prince, living out his everyday life within the confines of the dragon realm. What he hadn't realized was that the dragon prince dreamed of him too.

he says hello when he leaves, goodbye when he arrives by london9calling

M | 10k

Who would have thought summoning a fifth level demon to win a singing contest could have such interesting consequences? Certainly not Byun Baekhyun.

Simmer, Sizzle, Savour by taegyungie

M | 8.7k

Kyungsoo just doesn't know what to do about his student from hell.

♡ DAY 6 ♡

Sick and Sweet by subduedblue

M | 2.3k

Kyungsoo gets sick on a Sunday and Baekhyun’s there to help him get well.

On top of the world, we are together by sunsethue

Not Rated | 5.9k

Everything is going right in Kyungsoo’s life. He never thought it can get even better, until Byun Baekhyun came along.

My One and Only by endboss

E | 19.8k

Hybrid!Baekhyun just loves his human so much, which is why he tries to be happy for Kyungsoo's relationships, even if they make his poor heart hurt so mysteriously much.

You and Me (Equals World War 3) by Junchenny

G | 14.3k

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are rival singers, until their labels decide to debut them as a duo for a project. Cue pranks, awkward meetings and bickering galore. But in the end, could their shared passion for music and the fact that they may have more in common than they thought, be enough to overcome their rivalry?

♡ DAY 7 ♡

true blue by zannen

E | 25k

With things going sharply downhill at the newspaper, Kyungsoo has two options. One: He could lose his job and say goodbye to his journalistic career entirely. Two: He could do his best to ruin Byun Baekhyun's reputation. The choice, in his opinion, is obvious. Or he thought it was, at least.

Trouble at the Sandbox by SmilingTeresa

G | 23.7k

Kyungsoo didn't plan on going to the park. He also didn't plan on meeting Baekhyun.

The Janitor's Closet by kissmebaek

M | 3.2k

“Hey fat ass, do you really have to block the hall?”

“I’m not sure if that’s my problem when there’s enough to go around.”

“Pfft! Says the guy who can’t even hit a basic falsetto note!”

“That literally has nothing to do with this conversation and at least I can sing!”

Jongdae sighs as he closes his locker. Kyungsoo and Baekhyun throwing argument after argument at each other.

“They have to be fucking.” He says. “There’s no way two people that are always this irritated with each other but always together aren’t fucking.”

Chanyeol let’s out a laugh. “No way.” He looks down at Jongdae who looks up at seriously. His face falls. “No way!”

Soul Ink by jkl-401

M | 26.6k

Baekhyun’s favourite past time is to pretend to work whilst day dreaming about the new tattoo artist.

♡ DAY 8 ♡

The power of a crush by lispkid

M | 2k

Kyungsoo gets crushed.

Stay By My Side by heartshapedlips

Baekhyun didn't want a bodyguard but Kyungsoo showed up to work anyway. Maybe he doesn't mind it as much as he thinks.

hear my story, set me free by wisteries

M | 9.4k

Kyungsoo just wants to get the job done and go home to his dog, but Baekhyun has other plans. Alternatively, where Baekhyun and Kyungsoo pry open each others' hearts and lay their stories out for display.

Drifting Lights by baekdsooshi

M | 10.6k

Librarian Do Kyungsoo and intern Yixing have gotten quite a number of complaints of damaged books. After a bit of detective work, they found one common clue - they’re all missing page 241.

♡ DAY 9 ♡

Breath of the Forest by cabbages

G | 12.3k

Baekhyun wants to explore the forbidden forest on the edge of town. He leaves Kyungsoo and enters the woods by himself, forcing Kyungsoo to run after him before he gets hurt or in trouble. The only problem: Kyungsoo has asthma.

Tug of War by yibaek

E | 30.2k

Baekhyun feeds off of affection... literally. Without affection and love, he will wither away. Enter Kyungsoo, the last man Baekhyun should fall for, the man that drains the life from everyone he touches.

Words of Fate by babychocosoo

G | 3.5k

How is Kyungsoo supposed to find his soulmate when his only clue to lead him to them is the word written on his wrist that no one could understand?

say you won't let go by encoru

E | 3.4k

“What’s the safety word?” Kyungsoo asks. “Dracarys,” Baekhyun replies.

♡ DAY 10 ♡

As Easy as Breathing (In, Out, In, Out, In Out) by reihino

M | 39.9k

Falling in love with Baekhyun was just like breathing - easy, natural. It was everything else that was hard. (A Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Did someone say cute? by mochified

M | 2.4k

Baekhyun is crazy for cute things, and Kyungsoo is super cute. He falls head over heels, low-key obsessed and melting inside whenever Kyungsoo does something especially adorable. Kyungsoo refuses to believe he's cute though.

leave me breathless by encoru

M | 8.4k

If Baekhyun had the chance to call the police on someone so handsome he knocks the air out of his lungs, the perfect time would be now.

kissing the devil by taeyeons

M | 10.1k

A cry rings in his ears and all Baekhyun's struck by is the familiarity.

♡ DAY 11 ♡

Count On Me by ambrosiaplease

M | 8k

Kyungsoo happened to discover not the El Dorado but a key to deepen his connection with Baekhyun through the latter's secret tumblr dashboard.

under the same sky by kynqso

G | 21.9k

It's what Baekhyun liked to call their story: a love that transcended the summer. Includes but is not limited to: lunchboxes, Thursdays, a wall painting, postcards, and sunrises and sunsets.

Kiss Me, Tell Me by cheesenim

T | 9.2k

Kyungsoo never expected to have his ass dragged on a challenge. He had no idea what to do next.

good to love by kozens

E | 24.8k

Between Beijing and Tokyo, Kyungsoo finds a stranger, and perhaps so much more.

♥*♡+:｡.｡      'ㅅ' ♡ ⊙♡⊙     ｡.｡:+♡*♥

Thank you once again for making this first round successful! We sincerely hope you enjoyed this journey as much as we did. Now go ahead and smother your favorite writers with love, make friends with them, and spazz about favorite fics as much as you please! Don't forget to leave a kudos and comment on their fic! May you all continue supporting our dear writers and love Baeksoo along with them. See you next time!

#baeksoo #baekdo #obaek #baeksoo fics #reveals #exo fics #exo fic fests #yuanfen fest #yuanfenbd #yuanfen

[dunghillxx]

So I was encouraged to “journal” to get some of the stuff that runs through my head out..so I’m going to try and do this but knowing me, I’ll write one post and forget I agreed to commit to it and not write another one for months.. oops. 

Anyways, I’ll make this post about some of the positive things about my job. And save all the negative depressing shit for a different day, different post.

Let me start by saying that I love my job. I never thought I would find a job straight out of school that I absolutely loved. You always imagine that working for a living will suck and you’ll hate it but you’ll do it because it’s what is expected of you and what needs to be done. You never imagine that it’s something you’ll genuinely love...but I was wrong. My job is everything I had hoped for when I went into nursing school. This job provides me with what I had always hoped to gain as a nurse and I’ve only been a nurse for a year and a half. How did I ever get so lucky?

Although I don’t enjoy working NOC because of the hours, I do love other parts of it. I think I get more face time with my residents working NOC because I have less treatments and “nursing” things to do so I get more time to sit with a resident and chit chat. I would miss that if I worked days because you’re so busy all day long. My little talks with my residents is my favorite part. There’s two residents in particular right now that have imprinted themselves on my little heart and they are the two I want to talk about right now. Although all my residents have impacted me and they all hold a special place in my heart, these two are sticking out to me lately so I want to talk about them to start.

We’ll start with my little lady, M. I took care of her as a CNA. I took care of her husband as a nursing student. I’ve known her for a long time. We’ve grown pretty close since I’ve taken the NOC position on the unit I work on. She is the last resident’s room I go into at night so I would always sit and talk with her for 15-20 minutes and we’d just talk about what was going on and just different little things. I really look forward to these little chats. She’s with it enough to hold a conversation and remember it weeks down the line so it’s easy to talk with her. She always asks about my boyfriend and my family, like she genuinely gives a shit. It’s just nice to talk with someone who is very reminiscent of my grandmother. She’s had a lot of medical issues back to back recently and it’s really been bringing her spirit down. She was coming out of her room less, doing things she enjoyed less, basically beginning to give up because well she was sick and tired and sick and tired of feeling that way. So Rene and I took her out to lunch for her birthday to cheer her up. Man, did she love it. She talked about it for days. She was instantly saying how she can’t wait to do it again and was trying to think of a good place to go for next time. A restaurant she hadn’t tried yet that she had always wanted to. She was happy. And it made me happy to know that we were able to do that for her. But then she got sick, again. And she’s just gotten sicker since then. She’s been in the hospital for several weeks now. I’ve visited her multiple times, but she’s sick and tired (like usual) and she just sleeps when I’m there. She had to have a huge surgery done that I always had a feeling would be the end to her because it was a huge change medically, physically, and emotionally and I just thought it would all be too much for her to handle. And, right now...I’m seeming to be right. She was supposed to be discharged back to our facility over the weekend but since then has gone septic and is now in very rough condition. Who knows if she’ll even get to come home to us or if she’ll pass in the hospital. It’s really hard to tell at this point. I’m hoping she’ll get to come back so she can be with us, her only family, when she goes. But I guess only time will tell. It breaks my heart to know she isn’t doing well and may or may not get better. But I try to remember that day we took her out and how we impacted her so much just by doing something so simple.. but man, does it suck knowing she may not be around to chit chat with sometime soon... :/ I pray things turn around for her because I don’t think any one of our residents deserves to die alone in a hospital..

Then there’s my little man, L. He is very reserved and closed off. Doesn’t really let anyone know what’s going on in his head. He has a lot of medical issues as well and was given some not so lovely news recently, but he never really showed how he was processing it all, because he doesn’t really talk much to anyone. And he’s very stubborn and independent and kind of a grumpy old man sometimes, so I feel like he kind of turned off anyone from TRYING to figure him out. But me being me, took it as a challenge. I know he hates being bothered by us nurses. But I figured, me being a NOC nurse who has to do less “nursing” things to do than the day nurses, and between the choices of NOC nurses, I’d be the one most likely to crack him and get him to open up. So, let the journey begin. I’ve been trying for months to gain his trust and get him to open up to me. I’ve done nice things after nice things, I’ve gone out of my way to do things for him. I’ve done way more than I’ve needed to as a nurse for him. I’ve ALWAYS done what I said I was going to do and done it WHEN I said I would do it so that he could see me as someone reliable. I’ve always been joking and playful with him so he wouldn’t view me as some bitchy nurse who just wants to bother him with something. I’ve researched his chart and his medical background to get a better idea of what’s going on with him and what he’s been through. When he got his unfortunate news, I researched for at least 2 hours on things he could do to improve his situation. I got PT to start working with him again (although he doesn’t know I did any of this, I could tell that it was all turning his bad mood around and he was smiling more and joking around with staff more). So I felt accomplished. He has surgeries and procedures done quite often, I would leave him little love notes wishing him good luck and leave them on his night stand when I went home for the day so he would see them when he woke up. I mean, I’ve been working at him for a few months now. And although I wasn’t really seeing any progress until lately, I did notice that although he still rolls his eyes when I bring needles around and that, he never VERBALLY gave me shit like he did with other nurses and I got smiles far more often than anyone else. So it was the tiny accomplishments that I took in stride. 

Anyways, my past two nights on were milestones for the relationship I was trying to build between us. He had recently had a surgery done and he was having a lot of pain and circulation issues in his arm/hand. So I spent over an hour in his room trying to regain circulation in his arm so that I wouldn’t have to send him to the hospital (because he would rather die than go to the hospital). And he was so sweet and patient with me. He let me do what I needed to do. He didn’t give me shit for bugging him. He was open minded to all my suggestions. He was great. And I got him feeling better and the next day he was STILL sweet with me and thankful and told the day nurse that I was so sweet and nice to him and stuff which I felt great about. And then...THEN!!! He had bumped his arm and aggravated his stitches so he needed his dressing changed, so I was in his room changing the dressing and when we were done, instead of just leaving and going back to whatever he was doing, he literally just starting spewing off all kinds of stories from when he was younger. He told me all the jobs he did while he was in the Navy. He told me all about his life when he was younger and how he used to be a little shit and con people and just he went on and on for an entire hour! I’ve never heard him talk so much. And he was LAUGHING and SMILING and so happy to talk to me about it and reminisce. and OMG MY HEART. I couldn’t believe that my months of hard work were FINALLY paying off. He has NEVER told anyone on our unit about what he did for a living or what he did in the Navy. He never talked about his life before to anyone. He always keeps to himself and doesn’t talk about anything. My heart was so full knowing I finally broke down some walls with him. I ended up having to go into work on my day off and instead of just strolling past me while I was at the desk, he stopped and smiled and talked to me and watched me play with the cat at work and we were laughing together at how she was playing. I mean, I’ve never felt so accomplished at work and I can’t wait to see how this relationship progresses. I really hope I end up being someone he can genuinely trust with stuff and talk with. I hope this wasn’t an isolated incident and that our relationship can continue to grow. Although I am competing with my NOC CNA, I think I’ve broken more ground than her so I’ll just keep our interactions private now so that she can’t one up me haha.

These positive things are what I need to focus on with my job in order to stay sane but sometimes all I can think about is the negative. So I’m hoping writing it all out, the good, bad and ugly, will make me feel better. So my next post probably won’t be so much full of happy memories but more of the realistic side of my job because those things eat at me as well... Anyways, until next time!

[kitsune-ryu-neko]

Voltron Season 3 Thoughts

Voltron Season 3 Thoughts

OH BOY I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS SEASON!!!

Alright, time for episode 1.  Warning!!! Spoilers

Epsiode 1: Changing of the Guard - Welp. It opens up to Keith desperately looking or trying to find any hope of Shiro still being….around… - Allura is having her own problems… - You know….I forgot about the Blade of Marmora helping them out… - Look at Lance….doing acrobats in a giant mecha cat - And then there is Hunk, thinking outside the box and doing a good job at it. - Ahhh man…..no one trusts the Blade of Marmora….I mean…I understand why they are hesitate or downright refuse….but it still kinda hurts… - Pidge is still looking for Matt, I see…. - OMG I love that outfit, Coran! XD - Shiro was brought up. And Keith isn’t having even the thought that he might not come back. - That was a very long shot of Haggar staring at Zarkon’s crystal healing pod thing. - Oooooohhhhh no one knows Zarkon isn’t up. Maybe he’s dead? Maybe he’s in a coma? Who knows? But Haggar is taking precautions to make sure no one knows…hmmm - So the cute Galra girl that is somehow connected to Lotor I’m sure…..can act like a chameleon? - WOW KEITH WOW. THAT WAS SO STUPID OMFG - Oooooohhh an arena! What fight are we gonna see? - You know…I don’t know whether to be relieved or a bit scared that these Galra are pretty dang smart. ……I actually like that they caught on to Haggar’s game. - WAIT A SECOND. Why is Lotor exiled?!?!? - Half breeds huh…..(Keith bonding moment anyone?) - HOW THE FUCK DID LOTOR HEAR ANY OF THAT?!?! - ohhh his little team must have told him….somehow…….ok who there has telepathic powers? - You KNOW….if he’s a half breed…..and prossibly Galra and Altean….does that mean he has the abilities of BOTH species? - FUCK! Ok I kinda like that he doesn’t kill or enslave all the people he comes across…..Loyalty can get you pretty far compared to fear… - Oh no he is good….Wasted energy in fighting people you have conquered instead of gaining loyalty and multiplying all their armies…….its a good strategy but bad news for the paladins… - Oooohhhh it was all an act. Interesting. I really like that too….also very bad for the paladins though…But so far Lotor is pretty damn interesting. - EVERYONE JUST LOOKS TO LANCE WOW - Episode ends on them going to figure out how to reform Voltron o3o - We all know where this is going…

 Episode 2: Red Paladin - This could red to both Keith and Lance… It opens up to the awesome galra ladies. They are good. Nd one can see through the eyes of her cat. Awesome o3o Lotor is so persuasive….he’s really god at this whole manipulating thing. - OMG Pidge and Hunk are finally asking the real questiong XD - oh shit things are going down o-o - Keith I would NEVER trust youy with a secret - Keith….I feel sorry for you…. You’re like the reluctant anime protagonist - aww man poor allura… - OMFG Blue isn’t responding to Lance??? DX - I guess it knows red needs Lance now… - I can’t- I CAN actually believe he is trying pickup line on Blue - Alright !!! Keith pilots Black, Lance pilots Red, and Allura pilots Blue o3o - At least Lotor knows how to get info and he isn’t stupid… - Allura wearing pink to honor fallen warriors ~ - Lance giving her the blue bayard ! - Keith!!!!!!!!!!! DX That wasn’t that great….not only could you have told them about your plan, but you could have stopped to discuss this with everyone, especially since there are THREE of you that aren’t really that great with how to pilot the lions yet.

 Epsiode 3: The Hunted - Lotor is gonna go fight them - Yeah Keith…so far….your leadership skills….aren’t showing… - At least you own up to your mistakes keith… - OMFG “What would Lance do?” ?!?!?! ALLURA!!! XD - Allura and Keith and Lance have to all bond with their lions now… - SHIT LOTOR FOUND HER - “HUNK I’M A LEG!!!” XD - Ok Lotor and Keith’s little speech about leadership and fighting later…is too parallel to each other…

 Episode 4: Hole in the Sky - Oooohhh Altean distress code….no….any time things like this happen…its usually a trap - ALLURA!!! Now you’re being stupid! I mean I know Altean and all that but come on!!! - You know…this ship…and quintessence….and Pidge’s understand of reality isn’t the same as whatever it is that is surrounding the ship or the source of all that….So….from what I’m getting is that…..Slav was introduced for a reason and if its not anything from this reality then….what about another reality? - Voltron isn’t being affected….and wasn’t Voltron connected to quintessence? I hope this is another reality guys… o-o - Coran thinks they are dead…but they aren’t….HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM - I wonder if there are actually still living Alteans then….just in another reality…. - Alternate reality…where is Slav when you need him? - Also if Shiro isn’t in another reality then idk where the fuck he is.. - Also the inside of this ship reminds me of the “Upside Down” from Stranger things and that’s also….a parallel reality/universe… - HOLY FUCK IS THAT SLAV?!?!?!? O_O - Also….<_< - You know I kinda figure it was Shiro…but im like 99% sure it ISNT Shiro….SO who the fuck are you dopple ganger? <_< I bet you’re an alternate reality shiro… - OH HE’S GOT AN ACCENT SO I GUESS WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING - it IS Sven. Well that’s a neat twist. Can’t say I didn’t see it coming… - Ok wait…XD I just think its HILARIOUS that this alternate reality Shiro, Sven, is actually getting along and working with this alternate reality Slav - “Empress” <_< Well something tells me that still got the wrong person…. - I wouldn’t trust these Alteans….if its an alternate reality…then that means that the alteans were the so called “bad guys” right? - You know if at some point down the series….Lotor or whoever doesn’t make another Voltron to fight Voltron….I’m gonna be disappointed they didn’t take that chance. - WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL REALITIES?!?! JUST STICK TO YOUR REALITY!!!! - OOOOhhhhh Pidge is onto them!!! - Welp….they take away free will…of course… - The GUNS OF GAMARA OMFG XD - OMFG ALLURA QUIT BEING STUPID PLEASE ;-; - AAaannndddd now they are stuck there… QUICK! PIDGE! Get that part of the comet thing you cut off and use it to reality hop! - omfg Slav kills me XD - You know this kinda mirrors Shiro holding Lance back in season 1… - Well FUCK. Now not only can the Galra conquer the universe….but now they can conquer other realities too….great -_- - Pidge I hope you kept that piece….

Episode 5: The journey - ok I see a preview image of shiro o-o - Is this gonna be a flashback to when he was first captured? - ok this is weird…I cant tell if it’s a dream, flashback, or possibly current shiro….maybe all of them together? - Damn Shiro has some long hair…..idk if it suits him or not… - OH BOY…some weird flashback thing…that’s o-o creepy… - ok hold up…if that’s shiro…but that person is also shiro…and if this isn’t a dream….then maybe….because shiro was such a good warrior….that they might have….cloned him? - I mean….long haired shiro even has a scar on his face so it cant be past shiro unless this happened after he got the scar….but …idk…. Hmmm…..i think this is current… - Yeah its gotta be current…he has long hair and when he was found in season 1 his hair was still short…plus he has the white hair as well - but his outfit….HMMMMMMMMM……..i cant figure it out… - Whoops Haggar wants Lotor followed….but Lotor now has the trust of most Galra……I think he’s gonna try and overthrow Haggar and Zarkon now… - Well….what kind of giant fish creatures are on this icy planet? - Did…..did shiro just say he killed it??? When??? - Donttrustthatlake DONTTRUSTTHATLAKE!!! - I TOLD YOU!!! DX - I was thinking “someone please save him” but I didn’t actually think it would happen o-o - Aren’t those the two creatures/aliens from that meeting? - No its not… - oh cool so this IS current - A lot of time must have passed for his hair to grow out that long…. - that outfit shiro wears looks familiar - FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME SHIRO WAS THERE EVEN BACK THEN?!?!? DX SHIRO!!! - It couldn’t have been that long ago then….Keith was still out looking ……not enough time for shiro’s hair to grow to such length…. - Dude how the ever loving FUCK are you still alive??? 7 days…no food…no water….low on oxygen… - OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The black lion senses shiro o-o - THEY FOUND HIM FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! That was a lot sooner than I expected but FUCK YEAH!!

Epsiode 6: Tailing a Comet - Lance and Allura are awesome!!! - Poor Shiro….I get the feeling he wont be able to trust Black for a while… - Ok he has short hair again. But he look different and I cant quite put my finger on why… - It’s his hair…. - ……………………you know shiro is back but….i wonder if everyone is ready to give up their current positions…..and give shiro back leadership and the black lion… - Lance NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo Don’t give up blue ;-; - Aww man…not only did Lance have to go through this…but now Shiro….FUCK - Aww man….they gave Keith the position of Leader…but take it back as soon as Shiro comes back…..they don’t have much faith in Keith… I mean yeah…..his plan is ehh compared to Shiro’s because if Lotor gets that ship then he can be practically unstoppable…..but I do understand the position that Keith and Shiro are now in… - Ooooooooooohhhh was she that person he helped in the Weblum? - THAT WAS A NIFTY TRICK KEITH!!! XD - These poor guys are just learning about all this stuff … - I get the feeling this chick might change sides….What even are all their names? - Ooohhh Haggar doesn’t know anything about that group that helps Lotor….I did say earlier he was gonna betray them

Episode 7: The legend Begins - THAT TITLE - WHOA What were those flashbacks????? - OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH BACKSTORY~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Its weird seeing everyone not only younger looking….but also nice….im talking about you the most Zarkon <_< - OK OK OK BACK THE FUCK UP - How the hell does he know it can pass alternate realites? -Also…..that chick from the flashback….pretty sure it was Zarkon’s flashback…. - Oh so she isn’t from another reality….but she is altean….. - OK OK OK -OK OK LISTEN HERE SHOW - PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT Im SORRY BUT SHOW WHY?!?!?! It’s HILARIOUS seeing Zarkon so flustered omfg…. - But that right there makes him a bit more relateable damn….. - YOU KNOW!!!!!!!! I thought that was just a younger Allura sitting beside Alfor…but no….it’s her mom….HOLY SHIT THEY LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME XD - Also….Zarkon’s face at baby Allura XD - Ohhhh damn they got married….. - Zarkon and that one chick act a bit strange…..And then there is this creature…. - THAT APPARENTLY TOOK OVER WTF - Alfor’s planned probably doomed them and that’s why Zarkon hates him? - Nevermind the plan was Voltron - So that comet….gave the lions….sentience? - ok that one blue paladin acts EXACTLY like lance - so I guess these paladins aren’t going to expect Voltron….its just gonna happen - also that little thing turned into a big thing someone stop it - THEY ARE SO LIKE….THE EXACT THINGS THE OTHER PALADINS SAID WHEN THEY FIRST FORMED VOLTRON - WOW - yeah it’s the exact things…no wonder the lions chose current team Voltron XD - that’s a bit parallel to what shiro said to keith. “choose your battles” black paladin says to red paladin. “You have to know when its enough” says the red paladin to the black paladin. Hmmmmmmmmm - So that person is Haggar…makes sense….Wish I could have said I saw that one coming but she just looks so…..DIFFERENT from her usual self… -Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so that weird rift is what made Zarkon soo………well….like the way he is now…Interesting… - Shiitttt…. You know Zarkon this is still All Your Fault!!! Because if you had just listened, and we all know you aren’t good at that, then you betray your comrades and friends….and then you act like they are the ones that betrayed you?!?!! <_< -Ok so are you telling me that Haggar or whatever her real name is wasn’t even aware of anything as herself until just now??? - oh and crap…..Zarkon is awake again… Overall thoughts:  This was a transition season, I’m sure. We got a lot of info dumped into our hands and we and the characters have to sort it all out.  Something doesn’t add up with shiro to me. How was he captured again? Why is his hair so long if he wasn’t gone that long? What about his outfit? What about the Shiro that Shiro saw on the table? What was this thing about...Kuron? He’s been “Approved for use in Operation Kuron”.... I think this is a clone, and Kuron is his identity....and the real shiro is still on that table.....I don’t have a good feeling about this... Plus there is Keith.....Shiro and Keith are now both leaders.....And are both in trouble for it because each has their own unique way of leading... I guess Keith is gonna have to be leader a bit longer... Meanwhile...I think “clone” shiro thinks he is actually Shiro...so that’s gonna be sad if this theory is  right.... No sign of Matt or Sam yet....No Earth...no families...No mention of the Garrison.....I wanna know more about all of them...  Then there is the backstory of Voltron and Zarkon and Haggar and Alfor..... :/  Hopefully we get more answers in season 4. Can’t wait!!! 

#vld3 spoilers #voltron #voltron season 3 #vld #season 3 #my thoughts

[missconduct]

As Strong as Darth Vader

<p>“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.” (Yoda, 1980, The Empire Strikes Back). I usually don’t begin an essay with a quote but in this case I feel it’s important. My theory here is just a theory based on how I’ve viewed this story for 35 years. If you don’t agree it’s ok take it with a grain of salt, my friends in Star Wars fandom, because it’s not canon lol this is all in my head. I’m speculating how the story could go, and that’s part of the fun in this saga is speculation.<br>

  The first time I heard they were making a new trilogy I cringed as a lot of people did fearing the worst for a story I love so much. I didn’t read spoilers, or cruise YouTube looking for theory videos. I barely watched the trailer. In fact all I saw of the trailer was a few glimpses of Finn wielding the blue saber (only because I was already a huge fan of John’s because of his character in Attack the Block). I stepped into this new world not knowing anything. I didn’t even know who Adam Driver was. I didn’t even know there was a girl protagonist in the movie. My canvas of TFA was blank.

  As I watched the movie quite a few things caught me by surprise. I’ll quickly list them; Kylo as a villain, the interactions between Rey and Kylo (that’s a huge ass one), where the hell is Luke? The symbolism in the story as a whole, and my deepest one is Kylo’s obsession with his grandfather. As I watched the movie these things caught my attention because the rest of the story is (and I saw it admittedly) a re-play of the original trilogy (which I think was a strategy to play on the nostalgia of the original). It intrigued me intensely though because there were all these twists in it that were obviously not a copy cat of the original trilogy.

  As I sat in the theater watching it for the first time the scene when Kylo is speaking to Darth Vader’s helmet began. I watched this clearly conflicted, confused, lost villain pleading with a dead man’s helmet to, “show him again, the power of the darkness.” I literally said in a whisper under my breath, “this doesn’t make any sense to me??? Vader’s greatest moment of triumph, his greatest strength was his ability to turn back to the light side. He chose to be good again, to do the right thing, to save his son, his family, from the darkness. Why would this mask show him anything dark???” I didn’t like it at first. The scene made me feel so sad. It was as if Vader’s sacrifice meant nothing at the end of ROTJ. Like his greatest moment was forgotten in this new world.

   Then I saw this girl who I viewed as confused and lost as much as the villain was. Trying to come to grips with where her life was going. Should she stay and wait for her family? Should she finally accept whatever the truth was and move on? Then she hears a call. I thought it was interesting that the call was a little girls cries, almost as if her own loneliness were calling to her. She touches this long lost relic that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker, and her life takes a turn that is going to forever change her destiny.

  I’ve watched Rey’s force vision way too many times to count and the 2 things that are consistent in them that stood out to me were 1: Kylo Ren, and 2: various voices from the past echoing through the force. Now a lot of people think that these past voices are the individuals speaking directly to her, but I didn’t see it like that. Even though Obi-Wan says her name, it’s more like the force is speaking to her through the echo of past force users. This is important because I’ll bring it up again later.

  Through my journey with Rey, I saw her frightened and alone after the vision. I know Maz is trying to help her, but it might freak me out if someone had just made me come to the realization that my deepest fear was true. That I had to accept the people who were supposed to care about me and come back for me were never coming back. She’s afraid, she’s alone (Finn just abandoned her also. He’s leaving her to go to the outer rim territory.) She runs, and who does she run right into? Our strange lost Villain. At this point, I was really wanting to know who and what was under that mask. Remember spoiler free, didn’t even know who Adam Driver was.

  Then he sweeps her away “Bridal carry” style onto his ship, abducting her! That had me on the edge is my seat because that whole scene had me trying to figure out where this was going. Was he a man under that mask ? Or a monster? Was this an endgame romance or a creepy stalker crush?

  Then I witnessed the “interrogation scene.” This is the most important scene in the movie for me, and not for the reasons you might think. Yes, my jaw dropped and (despite my very good looking husband sitting right next to me ) I almost wet my pants when Kylo took off his mask. I turned to my daughter and whispered in an awestruck voice, “I think he’s the leading man. How about you?” My 13-year-old daughter’s reply, “omg mom, damn” and we laughed. Yes, there is a lot of incredibly hot, passionate, sexually charged shit going down in that scene! That’s not why it’s the most important scene for me. As I watched, this girl rise to the occasion and step up onto the equal ground with this boy, she said those famous words that helped me piece my headcanon puzzle together, “you, you’re afraid, that you’ll never be as strong as Darth Vader!”

  Now a lot of people don’t pay much attention to this line. They simply think it’s just her calling him out on being a Darth Vader fanboy. Maybe the writers were going that direction, but I don’t think so. When I first heard that line I whispered under my breath “oooooooo that was deep.” And in my head it made sense. That was a huge foreshadowing of Ben solos redemption, and the part this girl is going to play in it. This part of the movie is what drew me deep into the story.

  So I went back and saw the film 5 more times after that, in the theater. Then immediately pre- ordered my iTunes copy to be available for download as soon as it was available. I watched, and watched, and watched it again, and again. I could even watch it again today lol. It wasn’t enough. I kept wanting to know more. I started cruising and just looking through fan bases, but it looked like the things I wanted to talk about weren’t subjects that were well received, so I didn’t venture into joining or posting in any fan sites. Then I started cruising YouTube and came across this channel called Star Wars Connection and found a video titled, “Visual Storytelling in The Force Awakens.” Omg, these ladies understood me !!!! They understood everything I understood in the movie!!! And listening to them helped me develop my theory about Kylo’s redemption and the connection between Rey and Kylo-Ben.

  During the second part of this outstanding podcast, they briefly talked about Luke’s journey into the cave on Dagobah. In that scene, Luke is confronted by Vader when he cuts his head off, and the helmet explodes revealing Luke’s own face within the mask. It got me thinking about Luke’s greatest fear and how it related to Kylo. They are similar but different. Luke’s greatest fear was falling to the Dark side and becoming just like his father. Kylo’s greatest fear is the (I hope this is the correct term) subverted version of Luke’s, that he will never be as Strong as Darth Vader, that he will never be like him. Is it possible that part of what went down between Luke and Kylo has something to do with this fact? This is all speculation but it got me thinking that if there are similarities between Anakin and Kylo, then wouldn’t there be similarities between Luke and Kylo also? When Luke sees his face in the mask it scares him. Kylo wants to see his face in the mask.

  While thinking about Luke and Kylo it leads me to Rey. These three individuals are key to what this story really is about. It’s not about who Rey’s parents are or aren’t that is irrelevant. I’m sorry to all those anti-Reylo’s out there who are gunning for her to be a Skywalker or Solo but in my headcanon, she’s not. Her part in this story in my mind is clear. It was a passionately romantic love that started all this, and it will be a passionately romantic love that will end all of this. 

   Rey and Kylo have collided. I have seen a lot of speculation about whether or not they knew each other prior to their meeting on Takodana. Through all the speculation I’ve seen the only one that makes sense to me is that they have seen each other in dreams and visions. In the novelization, it even says that Rey knows this man from a dream or a nightmare. I believe she has had dreams of him her whole life. Which is why I think he smiles when he sees her image of an island. Anakin had dreams of people and future events, why can’t Rey. I believe Kylo has had dreams of her as well. In my headcanon dreams and visions are two different entities. A dream coming to you in your sleeping state, a vision coming to you through a waking moment through something else. Rey has visions of Kylo when she touches Anakin’s lightsaber in the castle. Is it possible that Kylo has had a similar vision of Rey? Someone speculated that maybe Kylo had Obi-Wan’s lightsaber somehow. (Thank you Rebel Scum Podcast for twisting my idea lol to present it as yours, but you got it all wrong) Kylo doesn’t need anyone’s light saber to have a vision of Rey. He has Anakin’s mask. Part of my speculation is that Vader/Anakin’s mask is Kylo’s transmitter for his force vision.

  Now I know a lot of people probably think of Vader’s mask as a Completely Dark side relic. I’m sorry though I don’t see it that way. Remember I told you that the first time I saw the movie while watching this scene I kept thinking that the mask was more a representation and symbol of Vader’s greatest strength and triumph. Think about Vader’s last moments while wearing the mask. The moment Luke told him he could feel the conflict in him, and he knew there was still good in him. His sadness feeling torn, watching the emperor torture his son, Padme’s son! almost to death. The pain he must have felt being torn apart between the dark and the light at that moment. Vader chucking the old guy over the railing into the abyss to save his family, to do the impossible, something that Yoda said couldn’t be done. He came back to the light. Even the walk with Luke carrying him to the shuttle. Still trying to save his father. Removing his mask peeling it off of his face so he could look at his son one last time with his own eyes. That mask in my opinion saw a lifetime of light before Vader/ Anakin passed away and became one with the force again. I view that mask as potentially being a grey instrument of the force. If the mask has given him visions both light and dark it would make sense that he would ask it to show him again the power of the darkness. A lot of people think that individual characters from the past are directly speaking to both characters, as I pointed out earlier. Could Kylo think that Vader speaks to him through the mask. Is it possible that this is just purely THE FORCE itself using voices of powerful Jedi of the past? The force is just using these voices as an echo to bring these two very powerful force, sensitive individuals, together. Why would the force will this?

  I try to clear my mind and recognize what Yoda says over and over numerous times in the saga. It is this entity that binds everything together. It has a will all its own. It calls those bound to it, it is a force sensitive beings choice if they will answer the call. If they will choose the light path or the dark. Perhaps there is a medium ground.

   No matter which religion it is there are light and dark sides to it. Without one the other cannot exist. In my theory the force is trying to bind Rey and Ben together, and yes I do believe it is trying to bind them together using a romantic passionate love. The evidence of this is clear in TFA. Kylo is already addicted to her presence. He can’t just hand her over to Stormtroopers like he did Poe, he has to carry her. He’s not trying to intimidate or frighten her. He takes off his mask for her. He speaks softly and calmly. I’m sorry but when I was growing up if my brother was interrogating me for any reason (Like where I hid the remote to keep him from changing the channel.) he was never nice, never calm, and it usually ended with blows aiming for the head or the gut, and furniture flying across the room, and the last person we wanted around was the other one. Kylo is not her brother or cousin. Sorry folks it’s not in the story. He wants her in his life! He pretty much begs her to let him teach her, he needs her in his life. Which is a big reason Otze’s essay about force bonds is now my favorite Star Wars Reylo essay. If they are related, I will still love it, because it’s Star Wars.The story can still be explored through different characters in a future trilogy, but I will be reading and writing tons of Reylo fan fiction to get over it lol!

  While I believe that Kylo will be redeemed through this love he has for Rey I do not know how it will end for him in my head. I do not think it’s going to end well for him. I see them both being bound together through the force and I think it’s very foretelling that each one has a connection to a relic that once belonged to Anakin Skywalker. The lightsaber was Anakin’s. He was the first to wield it. The mask also belonged to Anakin. Anakin is still being chosen by the force to achieve balance. Using relics of both sides of his life To bring these 2 people who share this connection in the force together. I think this could foreshadow one of them (probably Ben) making a self-sacrifice to save the other. I really don’t want that to happen though, I want Kylo to survive. Maybe going on a journey of penance, wandering the galaxy trying to help others to pay for his past. IDK if that will happen either but I’d love that, and it could spark an animated series. (lol)

  I believe it’s possible. As many have said in fandom his character still has a lot of growing up to do. I’m so on the edge of my seat to watch that unfold. I want to know if in the end, he will fulfill his ambition and his destiny and truly become “As Strong as Darth Vader!”

 I went on for a long while now and I hope my day dream about this awesome passionate story made people think, maybe even daydream a bit themselves. I’m sure I’m probably completely wrong about this whole headcanon of mine lol (@Scavengershoard ) Like Rachel and Kirsty are always saying though it’s always fun to speculate. Have a great rest of your weekend everyone and thanks for reading

Feel free to leave comments and let me know what you think(Please be kind though, do unto others right!) ❤️⭐️

#reylo #reylo trash #reylo meta