#omg i’m in a BUZZFEED ARTICLE
OMG WISH ME AWAY IS PERFECT
Is there any way we could get just a smidge more? I loved it so much!!!
I feel like I should just start writing it XD huh?
But more headcanons are requested and so that is what I shall give!
• Cass is in love with Marietta from the moment she first meets her. She teaches her sign language right away too because she knows she's a smart baby and for the future when Cass may have a non-verbal day. The first time Mari signs Hi Sister, Cass may or may not have cried a little.
• If you haven't guessed it, Marietta grows to be a polygot (person who speaks at least 6 languages or more) Languages under her belt so to say: French, English, Mandarin, Arabic, American Sign Language, Italian, Korean, Japanese, a little Russian, a little German, and a little Greek.
She also speaks the Old Tongue, the language of the Kwami and the Order.
• Marietta's favorite movie hands down is the Lego Batman Movie. Yes it's a movie in this universe, the writers wanted to make the movie but they needed to give Batman an identity and they asked Bruce if they could write him as the man behind the cowl. Bruce didn't want to but Jason and Tim agreed for him. i.e Jason distracted him while Tim forged his signature.
• The family learned the hard way when Mari was 5 and in her glitter-stage, if you leave clothing out, and this includes costumes, you will have glittered and bedazzled clothes. This was another Joker fainted because of laughing incident because Batman showed up to a fight with a bedazzled and glittery black bat on his chest that had a bedazzled yellow smiley face on it.
• Jason learned he had to place his Red Hood helmets somewhere high and secure because he got his whole hood bedazzled red and had a little smile bedazzled onto the hood as well. Artemis and Roy didn't let him forget it for months.
• Dick was ESTATIC to find his Nightwing suit Bedazzled and proudly went out and kicked ass, even took some pictures for his BichIMightwing Instagram & Twitter accounts.
• When Duke met Mari he just looked at Bruce and shook his head, "You got issues." But that didn't mean he wasn't honored when she invited him to her tea party.
• Gordon was HORRIFIED when he met tiny superhero Mari, he met her as tiny Ladybug and he just looked at Batman and held baby Mari with his jaw practically on the floor. Batman held out his arms for the child but Gordon kept holding her out of reach which Mari thought was the funniest thing so she kept laughing.
"I TURNED AN EYE WHEN IT WAS THE FIRST ONE BATMAN, HE WAS EIGHT!! THIS ONE IS A BABY! A LITERAL BABY! NO!"
It took awhile for Batman to explain that she had "powers" and while they left her at home she found her way to them. Gordon was not happy about it what so ever but he didn't really know what he could do about it. And Bruce didn't really know how he could explain the fact that his daughter was the Guardian of tiny gods and they were overprotective of her and if he even suggested they get another Guardian, Plagg would probably create another...incident...
• Dinners with Jagged and Penny are always awaited with high anticipation, especially from Mari and Damian because Jagged always being Fang and he let's them play with him. Jagged spoils little Mari since he is her "Uncle." No don't look at him like that Bruce, she absolutely needed that all pink electric toy Barbie Jeep to ride in.
• The first time Marietta saw someone come home with injuries after a fight she cried and refused to leave their side. If someone tried to take her to sleep in her room she would wake up and start crying again. When they asked Tikki why she kept putting her hands on the wounds and humming and crying after Tikki explained that Mari used to be able to heal the wounds of others. Her child mind wasn't understanding why it wasn't working most likely.
• Sometimes they forgot that Mari had the memories of her past life, they tried to understand the best they could though. As she grew it became easier for her to work out what was memories, and for her to tell them about them from her perspective.
• Marietta absolutely adores Halloween and everyone has to dress up. Jason and Damian begrudgingly do so. (They won't admit they have fun doing so)
When she was 3, Mari went as Robin and went up to Damian and did a twirl and said, "Look shaqiq (brother)! I'm you!" Damian had to hold a tear in but he smiled and placed a hand over his heart because his little sister was too precious. Also the looks on his brothers faces was priceless.
• Cass teaches little Mari ballet when she gets old enough and Mari loves it. She admires Cass a lot and wants to be like her big sister.
• Buzzfeed made an article about little Marietta Wayne and why you will never be as fashionable as the little toddler.
• Riddler and Mari have a weird thing going on, it's not quiet a rivalry but it's close. She calls him Hook Man, "You know they're question marks! You know you little gremlin!"
"Hey! That's my sister Jackass." Red Hood said, he tried to sound angry but really he was trying not to laugh.
"Shit! No! No! That's a bad word! Don't say that! Fuuuuudge, B is going to kill me."
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okay so thikc, for those of you who don’t know, refers to a post/exchange that I was involved in from a few years ago that kinda sorta got big
and at the time, I remember seeing it blow up and getting an uptick of followers afterwards but then that kinda slowed down over time? But I guess it ended up going big because it showed up on a buzzfeed article (and yes I bookmarked it because that’s such a big deal omg)
and i think if you google my url you’ll definitely see that post around somewhere, so.
but anyways, i haven’t thought about this post in a while and i was like “okay let’s search for it here on tumblr” (by “it” i mean the word “thikc”) and i literally started screeching because there are people literally making fandom incorrect quotes of that exchange?
so it’s literally like.
incorrect quotes of like something I said?
(and that’s just the first three I saw in my search)
that is so mind-boggling.
I think. has this become a meme? have I achieved true internet greatness?
who knows. I’m just shocked.
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Hi there! Can I request hcs of kuroo, kita and semi with a big brain s/o? It doesn't just apply to s/o academically, but more so about life in general (like having ~streetsmarts~) thank you!
you said street smarts my mind went to jj bittenbinder. ngl i kinda used the wisdom proficiencies from d&d as reference for this hahaha nerd i hope it’s what you want! also i just want to thank you for requesting my not-so-secret fav semi semi
Kuroo, Kita, & Semi with a big brain s/o
* * * * *
oh this man appreciates it. he’s so entertained
you know that drinking game that Tyrion does with Shae where he guesses something about your past and if he’s right you have to drink, if not he does? that’s what you do minus the drinking part obv,, unless
as a person with high charisma himself, you make it a game to see who can bluff out and/or fool the other (you almost always win)
any time there’s a game night and you’re playing a social deception game you always win. no one can get a lie past you
if it’s a teamwork one, you and Kuroo crush everyone else
you find ways to skimp on your hw but still come out fine. he has no idea how, and it both annoys and impresses him
“i thought you stayed up watching buzzfeed unsolved instead of studying last night??”
“yeah so what?”
“but you got a 96%”
he knows that intelligence isn’t just defined by what you’re able to memorize out of a book, and you’re a perfect example of that. he respects you a lot
you’re the type of person that reads random articles and therefore has the most random bits of trivia that you throw in conversation
he can have an intellectual conversation with you, since you always come up with unique perspectives. he loves asking your opinion on things, bc who tf knows what’ll come out of your mouth
you don’t know what a derivative is to save your life but you know the location of every 7/11 in a ten mile radius, and if they carry a specific type of onigiri or cup noodle flavor
but fr you give the best advice and are always there to lend an ear
you watch murder mystery movies together and try to figure out the culprit, sometimes actually arguing over it
other times you’ll watch a drama and make bets on who’s gonna do what or end up with who
rip Kenma in the corner just trying to live his life
it’s hilarious seeing you interact with someone who is not “big brain” or street smart
let’s just use Lev as an example for no particular reason, just bc
you quickly learned that Lev would believe almost anything you said, he was that fascinated by your apparent wisdom
so you and Kuroo will sometimes join forces and see what you can get him to believe. you once convinced him that if you kill an insect you’d become that insect in your next life and die the same way, and for a solid month he would start crying if he ever stepped on an ant
you have this whole atmosphere about you that is just “do not fuck with me” bamf if i do say so myself
which tbh is one of the things he finds most attractive about you. you knew exactly what he was up to the first time he started flirting with you, but you weren’t intimidated one bit. you became a challenge~
10/10 best looking couple of the three
* * *
the two voices of reason, bless you both. you’re very similar, but also very different
he’s the definition of high intelligence & high wisdom with low charisma cleric kita omg, while you have both high wisdom and high charisma with an intelligence stat you barely use (high or low lol)
he’s the kind of guy who always thinks things through with logic, and he’s always sure of his decisions
you on the other hand, have an intuition based logic
freaks him out when you rely on your gut instinct but somehow it always pays off
you’re adaptable in almost every situation, always know what to say, and have an uncanny ability to read people
which actually comes in handy in your relationship
he’s not the best at expressing himself but you always seem to know his emotional state and thought process, something no one else except his granny has really cracked yet and you do it so easily. sometimes he wonders if you’re a mind reader
you knew he liked you before he did & you asked him out first ~
“Shin-kun, you look happy today!”
“Ah, I was able to clean all the volleyballs after practice and still had time to fold and organize the scrimmige vests by color.”
meanwhile Atsumu: “hE litERALLY?? looks the sAME??!”
speaking of the twins, you’re great at handling them
Atsumu tried to scare you away the first time you showed up at practice before you and Kita announced your relationship, but you were calm and polite
which tbh put him off more than if you’d clammed up or gotten angry. he almost felt bad for being rude. almost.
imagine how bad he felt when Kita found out
the both of you are both feared and respected by the team
you’ll help Kita out with his self-assigned chores sometimes, figuring out new ways to be efficient and not lose quality
he also loves how he can trust you to take care of yourself, whether it’s walking home alone or losing you in a crowd or just looking after your health. he still worries and dotes on you but it’s out of love, not because he’s concerned you’ll hurt yourself unintentionally
he loves a person with common sense @ inarizaki
you’re both really good at getting gifts for each other, since you’re both very perceptive
one time you guessed his favorite flavor of ice cream and it made the butterflies a’flutter
there’s this silent competition between you two of who can give the better gifts
wishes you would study more though ngl. he knows you’re smart you just don’t always dedicate that intelligence to your schoolwork
he finds it charming how you’re always looking at things from different angles rather than the straightforward path. he thinks it’s a very good quality
that “yeah but what if...” kind of mentality
we already know he appreciates that attitude if he doesn’t really take it on himself
you’re both able to appreciate the nuances of life and enjoy the moment together
your relationship is one of the most balanced and strong out there tbh,,
* * *
you’ve got this charm that makes people respect you. a certain type of confidence, if you will, that made him first notice you
lots of students were intimidated by the members of the volleyball team, for their height and reputation etc, but you never showed any reservation, not even with Ushijima
as well as your conviction, you have take no shit attitude that comes in great handy with certain members of the team it’s also hot af
you can banter with Tendou and you provoke Goshiki all day long but never Shirabu bc you know what’s up
you do however irritate him with mind games, bc you know he’s a little shit who stole your bf’s spot and needs to be taken down a peg sometimes
you: *describing the quantum wave trolley problem”
all the while Semi is trying and failing to hide the smug little smirk on his face
with Semi though, you’re able to just talk
he enjoys conversation with you bc he’s never bored. you make him think and you make him laugh, both good things
sometimes you’ll point something out that just makes him go “oh” bc it seems so obvious when you point it out
other times it’s something so outlandish that he can’t help but crack a smile or let out a laugh
sometimes it’s the connect the dots meme “you didn’t connect shit” lmao
again, solid advice giver with no holds barred. anyone who needs to be straight up told what they need to hear comes to you, bc you're usually right
and Semi himself can get lost in his own head so it's nice to have you to ground him
you’re decent in your classes sure, but where you really impress is your strategy in game. any game
once you were invited to play laser tag with the team and you whipped out a battle plan that annihilated the other team
alternatively, you show no mercy in monopoly or uno, damn your relationships
it’s actually very annoying how quickly you pick up the rules and nuances to games and use them to your advantage
if you’re both very competitive, it’s usually better for everyone if you’re both on the same team
but he likes a challenge heh
okay, we know he’s bad at dressing himself when it comes to casual outfits. no common sense. you notice this too
“Eita, sweetie, if you go out like that you will get mugged,, even in Miyagi.”
you’ll walk down the street hand in hand and you make random guesses or stories about the people you see
“that guy is totally a scammer” or “bet that lady looking at the papaya is trying to start a diet for the third time, look at her face” and he’ll chuckle
he knows there’s always something going on inside your mind and he wants to know
when you’re lost in thought he’ll tap your forehead
“hey what’s going on in there?”
he enjoys listening to your musings and thoughts and opinions. you either have a crazy gut instinct or have some unique thought you’ve internally debated over for months
gets inspiration from you actually, even if he doesn’t realize it
likewise, you realize he has a lot on his mind he doesn’t say, but you have a way of making him say it, even if he is hesitant and abrasive at first
you’ll call him at 3am with a random thought and he’ll grumble a bit but actually will listen to you with the smallest smile on his face
* * * * *
i hope??? this was good??? also lmk if this is too long without a read more i’m not sure :P
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Omg I LOVE your writing it’s incredible!! If you like the prompt, then can you write something where spiderman/peter is on buzzfeed unsolved or there’s conspiracy theories about him or smth?❤️❤️
Awe thank you very much! 💕
"Mr. Stark, did you know you're my biological father?"
Tony hummed from the kitchen counter as he mixed a bowl of salad. "Obviously. The question is, who told you?"
"Buzzfeed article," Peter said monotonously, stealing a sliced cucumber from the bowl. "Man, May's gonna freak."
"I bet. And it was such a well-kept secret, too. How'd they figure it out?"
"Probably the same way they figured out...." Peter squinted at his phone before gasping dramatically. "No way. Natasha's my mom?!"
"Secret's out." Tony set the now-mixed salad on the table. "Phone away. This is the one and only time I'll be providing dinner for you. I want you to actually see it, so when you get home you can tell May about how awesome I am."
"But I'm learning so much about myself!" Peter whined. "Ooh, I can't believe you forced me into the superhero lifestyle, Mr. Stark. I'm...." Peter read further. "-30 years old. It's time for you to stop living through me and to allow me to pursue my own dreams."
"Which are what?" Tony asked, amused.
"Doesn't say." Peter shrugged, finally putting his phone down. "Too bad."
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I went out to the mall yesterday with the guy I'm dating.
We went into a candy shop and the girl was having trouble scanning his card. She was Asian (this is relevant later)
She was trying to ask him if it was okay if she typed it in by hand, and I had to translate for her because he speaks Spanish and not much English.
So I told her "sorry, he doesn't speak much English"
And this boy says in Perfect English, "yeah I don't speak Chinese"
She acted like she didn't hear him, And I was like 👀 omg you can't say that are you crazy!?!
And after we left the store I explained to him that it's considered very racist to say things like that, and he understood and was sorry. Turns out his friends at work like to joke like that.
Just saying he's lucky he's not white or we would have been kicked out and ended up on some Buzzfeed article or something.
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taryn you’re in a buzzfeed article!
OMG!!!! I’m shocked right now omg!
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wanted to tell u i loved ur buzzfeed article ranking all of taylor's songs! i saw it on my dash earlier today & read it all! & then 30 mins ago my dad told me the article showed up on his news app & he read it all & sent it to me! he's not a huge taylor fan haha but he was shocked to see all too well wasn't number 1! his favorite taylor song is red (its like the only one he knows lol) & he wished it was higher LOL but thought it was cute he read it and had opinions on it so i wanted to share!
omg hi i literally never check my asks on here so I am beyond late in replying to this I’M SO SO SORRY!!! this is so sweet and i’m so glad you loved it!! thank you so much for reading it and for saying this, I really appreciate it! ❤️
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I saw a buzzfeed article about how 'right where you left me' "confirms feud with karlie kloss". The comments were 2016 all over again. People saying things like "omg, I'm so tired of her, she acts so perfect when she's the problem, having feuds with everyone".
Don't people realize that not once has she brought this up herself? When has she ever let known that she thinks she's perfect? I find it rather uncompassionate to think that someone whose friends have fucked her over multiple times must be the problem.
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buzzfeed article about trashstack
all i have is:
Richie Tozier Brought His Hot Boyfriend To The Premiere of His New Movie And OMG??
greetings, fellow richie fans. now i know you’ve read the title so i’m jumping straight into this: richie has a boyfriend who we haven’t known about and he’s hot as hell
now i know what you’re asking. “ash, why are you thirsting over an actors boyfriend?” “ash why do you keep talking about richie tozier?” “let me fucking comment on how shitty this is motherfucker”
well, friends, it’s because of THIS MAN!!!
NOT A SINGLE THING WRONG WITH HIM
thank you everyone, for coming to my TEDtalk on why ben hanscom is hot, and good night
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A/W 2020 Fashion Month: Before Vogue Went Blank (Part 2)
Hi to anyone reading,
I was going to start this post by jumping straight into Dion Lee and part 2 in general but there's been a lot going on the past couple of days-although this blog is primarily fashion, it wouldn’t feel right to start talking about designers without acknowledging all the shit that’s been going down.
^Photo Credit to @spiltcoco on Twitter
Yesterday, police footage came out of US police murdering yet another black man in broad daylight-George Floyd. He joins Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, and Alton Sterling, plus hundreds more named and god knows how many more unnamed African American citizens in the ever-growing list of victims of police brutality.
The majority of these are just people going about their daily lives, a majority of them doing absolutely nothing wrong; even those we know to have committed crimes have been unarmed and non-violent offenders. That being said, their offences are beside the point when we’ve seen the white perpetrators of mass shootings be calmly cuffed and escorted into the backs of police cars as if they were the ones selling cigarettes without permits. American police, given the amount of them that are armed, regularly become judge, jury and executioner trained for 8 weeks by an institution that originated from slave patrols. I cannot imagine how terrifying it is just to walk around as a PoC in America. I cannot imagine the collective trauma that has been suffered because of recent events on top of the intergenerational trauma that most likely exists because of centuries of oppression. I cannot imagine what it’s like to live in a country that was built to suppress you and was by law allowed to do so until very recently, those original structures still in place. I cannot imagine what it’s like to be made to feel like this is your fault. I mean, Boris Johnson is a useless, cold-hearted twat and I won’t defend him or this country for a minute (we have much blood on our own hands, and racial profiling is just as much a thing here as it is in America-I read earlier that you’re 28 times more likely to be stopped and searched in London as a non-white person compared to a white person), but I still can’t imagine him publicly advocating for the mass murder of groups he knows to be primarily made up of black people via Twitter. This whole situation is so unimaginably fucked up; anyone who still sees America as one of the world’s most developed nations needs to take a long, hard look at what is going on and reconsider that opinion.
Whilst we can’t fix everything, we can all speak up and make our voices heard, and it is our duty to do so. It’s not good enough to just “not be racist”, you have to be ANTI-racism, even if that means constantly reflecting on your own privilege and challenging your assumptions. Neutrality is complicity. Signing a petition isn’t going to change the world, but it’s a start:
As I publish this, there’s less than 50,000 signatures needed to hit the target of 6,000,000 so if you happen to see it, get signing! There are lots of other petitions online but Change.org seems to be the only major one you can sign in the UK as the other are US based and require a zip code. I never thought I’d close a paragraph by quoting Macklemore but the line “no freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it” is at the forefront of my mind right now. Again, neutrality is complicity. We’re never going to achieve a fair society by sitting on our asses and hoping things will improve. Let’s all do the best we can.
Sorry if that intro wasn’t what you came here for, but I just think it’s so important to talk about. I know I’ve said in the past that fashion is supposed to be an escape from everyday life but there are some times when real life needs our attention and this is one of them. Feel free to unfollow if you disagree.
Anyway, onto the fashion. If this is the first post you’re reading, welcome! There’s a part 1! But I don’t wanna be pushy so start here if you wish!
If you read part 1, welcome back!
I ended that post by practically falling at the feet of Dilara Findikoglu, and I so wanted to start this post by regaining a sense of dignity and go straight into what-the-fuck-ing at Dior, but I know breaking chronological order would really piss off those “OmG I’m SoOo OCD, tHis BuzZfeEd aRtiCle WiTh DiFfereNt SiZed TiLes ToLd Me!” which is basically me minus claiming liking things to be organised means I have OCD-no, just dermatillomania and the denial that a compulsive skin picking disorder has anything to do with OCD because the neuroses club that is my brain doesn’t have any space left. SO, I have to continue where I left off and star the post with Dion Lee, whose collections I am a big fan of.
I could ramble a bit more but I did enough of that at the beginning of part 1 and am sure I’ll do more than enough in this post anyway, so here it is, Dion Lee:
Considering we ended with the maximalism of Dilara Findikoglu, sliding back over towards the other far end of the scale with a designer that tends to pitch their tent on the borders of the minimalism camp feels correct. Dion Lee, fortunately, seems the perfect collection to open with. There aren’t many other brands who do edge in such an understated and masterful way. If you want to be ready for combat and look like you’d fit right in at Vogue at the same time, look no further. This season’s collection is full of perfectly placed cut outs and immaculate tailoring and subtle street fighter-esque details as ever, and that’s why it pains me to say it:
Not that this is enough in the way of critique to restore my dignity by any means, it’s not a patch on last season.
I don’t think there was a single bad look in that show, and at times it felt like I was weeding through them here. When the looks were good, they were GOOD but a lot I found to be disappointing. Plus I have no idea why you’d put tie-dye in an A/W collection. I appreciate that it’s an Australian brand and that our winter is their summer, but they’re presenting to the rest of the world at fashion week and anyone in Paris, Milan, London and New York is going to be freezing their tits off and looking like a twat in an orange tie-dye sundress. There wasn’t much of a dip in quality for the menswear compared to last season, but honestly womenswear left a lot to be desired. That’s what happens when your expectations are high.
I used to think that if you assume the worst, it’s impossible to feel let down.
And then I saw Dior’s A/W 2020 collection. Did a full 180 on that statement.
I suppose it’s a step up from haute couture, but then at least the styling in that was simple, and it just didn’t look like anybody had tried at all; here it’s clear Maria Grazia chucked everything she could at this collection, every headscarf, every gingham print, every shallow feminist undertone, and it was still a fucking mess. At first you think some of the individual pieces are cute but have just been ruined by the styling, and then you begin to look, and realise that even those individual pieces could’ve easily been bought in a New Look Boxing Day sale.
THIS IS CHRISTIAN DIOR, SUPPOSEDLY ONE OF THE MOST LUXURIOUS BRANDS OUT THERE. WHAT IS GOING ON!?
I don’t know, I included as many looks that I didn't mind as I could, but it’s like there always has to be a crappy, unnecessary detail in there. Everything is so literal. Of course the collection based around the divine feminine has the models dressed like basic ass Greek goddesses, so of course the collection based around the modern woman and equality has women walking the runway in ties and ill-fitting shoes too. Maria Grazia, here is a box:
Think outside of it.
Next is, thankfully, Elie Saab:
No, not exactly a trailblazer of a collection, but executed with poise and elegance as always. I mean, the styling is spot on. It looks like each part of the outfit was made for another, to contribute to a whole clearly envisioned look, similar to what we saw in the Alberta Ferretti show. Elie Saab is known for its haute couture shows where all the tiny details, the sequins and the silk and the embroidery come together to make something beautiful, and this is just that on a larger scale, with less “wow”s and more quiet admiration, more wishing you were the one wearing that outfit. If you’re gonna play safe, do it this well.
The night dresses are stunning of course, but not even my favourite bit of the show. It’s the casual looks, the pussy bows and the ruffles and the neck scarfs and the private girls school monochrome colour palette with the occasional pop of red or purple, a toned down version of what we saw at haute couture, any of which deserve to be worn whilst eating macarons in front of the Eiffel Tower before trip to Musee D’Orsay. It’s Poppy Moore’s school uniform grown up and made fit for a fashion magazine editor:
Somehow managing to cram an Emma Roberts early 2010s fashion moment into every post is my talent, who knew. Wild Child was really a gem.
Erdem was a mixed bag:
With a lot of the outfits, I can’t tell if I actually like the garments that much or if I just like the look as a whole. I mean, without sounding too gluten-free Callie from the Valley, I like the VIBE, but there was a lot of outfits I almost included before I had to ask myself “LAUREN, do you ACTUALLY like this or do you just like the walking-into-your-sugar-daddy’s-will-reading-to-claim-his-fortune DRAMA of it all!?”
It happened a couple of times, where once I took off my black and white, theatrical violin accompanied entrance filtered sunglasses, I realised that the actual print was ugly. A collection so cohesively ornamental and kitschy is going to lean too far into that at times, and they were a few overly-fussy moments where it seemed less nudge nudge wink wink and more like Erdem Moralıoğlu fell into his grandma’s wardrobe, stole some fabric, and called it a day. I don’t want to sound like I’m not a fan of the collection because overall it’s gorgeous, I just thought it was a bit much at times.
Continuing with the theme of clever seasonal continuity that weaved its way throughout this year’s A/W offerings, Ermanno Scervino kept the core of his summer collection and made it just that little bit darker, added some weight to everything, and this is one of the rare occasions where I like the winter incarnation a lot more. I’m not huge about either but there’s a lot of things I’d love to wear here, the coats especially.
Up next is a reliable favourite of mine:
Was it REALLY necessary for you to include ALL those coats I hear you ask?
Alaska Thunderfuck as Gia Gunn voice: Absolutelyyyy.
When it comes to bohemian fashion, Etro is unbeaten. Everything is always exquisitely coordinated and styled. Like I usually fucking hate aztec print but I love the way it’s done here. I’ve never known a brand to make belts seem like such an integral, tasteful part of the outfit in a field where they so often seem like a last minute addition for the sake of accessorising; it pains me to say it, but Elie Saab, I’m looking at you. It’s your only fault.
Yes for bringing back embroidered jeans! Yes for all those high necks! Yes for the tapestry print! Yes for the Afghan waistcoats! Etro will keep fedoras cool forever and I love them for that; I don’t know if she ever actually wore any of their stuff but I just know Stevie Nicks was in her prime would’ve ate this shit UP and she is my style icon for the ages. Plus, I might be way off base here but a lot of the collection seems to be inspired by traditional Romani style and it’s a beautiful direction to take things, a treasure trove of layers upon layers and rich textures and opulent prints.
I can’t wait til the phase of my phase of my life where I can swan around in maxi dresses and ponchos. I just hope those maxi dresses and ponchos are Etro.
Onto another brand which hasn’t had a bad show since I started my reviews: Fendi. This season, they took their late 60s/early 70s wild child aesthetic and gave a millionaire’s high maintenance wife spin on it, and what’s not to like about that?
I mean, Fendi is a brand which is always going to excel in its F/W presentations-the rich, bohemian prints (pro-tip: if you can’t already tell, me mentioning the word bohemian in a review pretty much guarantees I like the collection), the furs, and the warm colour palette all perfectly translate into clothes suited for walks through a city going through a post-summer burnout, where it rains red and orange leaves. You can tell Silvia Fendi is in her element when she’s got texture to play with, something that comes across in the gorgeous coats Fendi consistently puts out, and this season continues that trend. Plus, there’s a lot of adorable details here-shoes that show off the decorative socks underneath, the cube shaped bags and those furry ear muffs which I hope bring about a high street muff renaissance because they’re the equivalent of slipper socks for my ears and THEY’RE ACTUALLY REALLY PRACTICAL. The only thing I’m not in love with is the mirrored glasses, and I can’t help but think how replacing them with a pair of grandad style aviators would be the icing on the cake for the collection. Maybe I just need to see Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty wearing them and then I’ll get on board. Usually works.
Ah, GCDS. I got so excited for it after last season but this time round, it was a bit of a disappointment. There were a few outfits that semi-matched up to how cutting-edge I saw their last collection, however a lot of the pieces looked pretty low quality. I get that streetwear is in the name, but it’s supposed to be a high fashion take on that, and a lot of the looks were quite pedestrian. Stand outs are the top 2 rows and the leather motocross style jumpsuit on the far right, third row down, but the quality of these pieces wasn’t consistent across the board and I feel like I ended up having to convince myself I liked some of the others just so I had enough photos to justify including the brand. It really sucks when I look back on how ahead of the game last season’s collection was-we’re talking outfits that wouldn’t be out of place on Instagram’s Tokyofashion page and as far as I’m concerned that’s the fashion holy grail. Some of these looks, especially the menswear, could be from a Boohoo TV ad and that makes me sad.
Meanwhile, Giambattista Valli put out a collection that looked like a virtual postcard of Parisian fashion; if a St-Germain-des-Prés streetwear themed Instagram doesn’t exist already, someone should capitalise on that, stat, because if my typical vision of French feminine fashion is correct it would be full of outfits like this. I feel like this is what a fashion novice EXPECTS Chanel to look like. Trust me-these days the reality is much more disappointing.
There’s many things I'm happy to see here besides the tulle and florals and prettiness I expect of the brand. Obviously the berets and the bows and the elbow length gloves are the kind of off-duty ballerina style touches I’ve become accustomed to but there are also some nice surprises here: the military style white jacket, the unexpected snake motif on clothing that’s otherwise overly delicate, and to my delight the return of the boater hat. IDGAF, this is the summer where I’m buying myself one off Ebay and making this happen for me whether they become a “thing” or not. I shouldn’t squander having this little of a double chin; the opportunity may never present itself again.
I haven’t watched Killing Eve in a longggg time since there’s only so much of two women attempting to kill each other and then miraculously avoiding death you can watch but I’d love to see Vilanelle prancing round a city in this kinda shit slitting some necks again. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like too much of a sadist; only in a purely fictional world is this something I want to see, I assure you.
Givenchy was really, really great this season too, imo. Definitely a step up from the last RTW anyway. Aside from the drama of the exaggerated floppy brim hats and the quirky tassle detail dresses a la Schiaparelli, a lot of these outfits kinda remind me of something a Miranda Priestly/Cruella De Vil type would wear, and you know me; I’m all for that kind of intimidating, about-to-either-slap-you-or-fire-your-ass bad bitch energy. The gathered leather gloves with the androgynous subtly checkered power suits feels CORRECT and if Giambattista Valli is the bottom in this relationship, Givenchy is the top. Am I allowed to reinforce sapphic relationship stereotypes as a bi girl? Probably not. I’m sorry. Won’t do it again. Just this once. And you know I’m right really xoxo
And OMFG Gucci. Another impeccable collection for me, honestly. Once again, it’s probably my favourite of the season. How it is that Alessandro Michelle gets it SO right for me despite his vision being so bold and different every time? He has this specific brand of strange, conceptual beauty which blends past and present trends in a way so supreme it should be considered art. It’s not a term to throw around loosely but the man is a genius, and tbh I’m still not over the human head props from the 2018 F/W winter show.
In my Haute Couture week review, I talked about the Viktor and Rolf collection (which I loved, don’t get me wrong!) and said that pretty meets grunge is my fave thing ever-this is that, but much even more substantial and intelligent. The Wes Anderson-esque pieces or that late 60s/early 70s hipster aesthetic that I loved in last season’s show hasn’t been done away with either-be it the level of detail or the colour scheme, it all somehow fits together. Never did I think I’d see dresses fit for porcelain dolls through the lens of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen seamlessly slotted in between outfits that could’ve been put together from the clothing rack of Dazed and Confused’s costume department. I want it all-opulent fur-trimmed coats, crucifix jewellery and pilgrim hats I’m sure both Edgar Allan Poe and modern goths would approve of, and the tiered skirts that wouldn’t be out of place in a Westworld saloon. The models were delightfully sad and almost creepy looking and I wouldn’t change that for the world. To say 10/10 doesn’t do it justice, so I’m gonna have to open a reviewer’s can of worms and say 100/100.
Gucci is a tough act to follow, and I’m sorry it has to fall onto the shoulders of Halpern. In the nicest possible way (as if there is any nice way of saying it), I don’t think I any expected anything but a downgrade, so if anything, my standards will be lower so...Michael Halpern, you can thank me I guess?
That was really mean, I’m sorry. It’s not a bad collection, and I definitely like it more than last season’s. It’s a slightly garish colour palette at times but an exciting one in spite of that, which when paired with the animal print dotted throughout makes this collection the perfect fit for a tropical beach party or at the very least, a semi-decent night at the Caribbean themed bar in your local town centre. The sequins and silk, a Halpern trademark, are as tastefully done as ever, and seeing them on the models, I can’t deny these are some power fits-the kind of clothes you are bound to look and feel confident in; if you wanted to play queen of the urban jungle for a night, this is what you need to be wearing.
Generally not one to stoke a fire inside me. In all fairness, the tailoring here is really, really nice and French biker chic, and the pieces are perfectly crafted-it’s not that I don’t like the outfits because I think that if I saw one of them individually in a natural, messier setting I’d probably be impressed. These are classy, elegant winter looks and what more could you want when you’re looking for outfit inspiration for this season? It’s just that it’s always a little too neat and uniform for me, and on the runway I like my fashion to be risky. This could almost be the sophisticated mother to a Tommy Hilfiger collection and whilst that’s something I would probably wear if I wanted to look put together, it’s not what you get excited to see at fashion week. Primary colours all together aren’t where it’s at for me either, the infamous colour scheme of the cheap plastic playhouses you’d find in the garden of every working/middle class British household back in the day. Yes, I had one. So did the after school club I was forced to attend whilst my mum was at work. Apparently the negative connotations are still too much for me (a boy I went to the after school club with did once fall off the back of one and crack his head open so maybe it’s justified).
Isabel Marant was pretty much exactly what you’d expect from Isabel Marant; if the Etro bohemian woman is one who rolls out of bed and chucks on the first thing she sees, the Isabel Marant bohemian woman is the one who claims she’s done the same thing but who actually planned it all out the night before. She designs for the gluten-free, bikram yoga Kourtney Kardashian style “hippy” who claims to be a free-spirit but would definitely not do acid with you. I was gonna say it was a collection for the Gwyneth Paltrows of the world but then I remembered Gwyneth proudly released a candle she claimed smelled like her vagina and changed my mind-she’d definitely do acid with you.
It’s definitely a cohesive transition from the summer collection; both have that seemingly laid-back, clean-cut vibe, and cater to the rich, impeccably groomed scented candle loving woman everywhere. Obviously the pieces are a tad more suited to an alpine lodge in Switzerland than a beach in Malibu this time round, but that same mild colour palette, pretty, naturalistic patterns, and generally relaxed fit persists. It’s cute enough.
J.W Anderson is a bit of an enigma.
Despite the experimental silhouettes and the kooky details that you think would very “look at me!”, the collections still seem to have a chilled, easy-going feel to them. They toy about with the strange but remain entirely sophisticated whilst doing so-I think it’s because aside from the little quirks that make the garments J.W Anderson, they’re otherwise fairly reserved and simple; even the quirks themselves mostly tend to be exaggerated, more conceptual takes on more typical stylistic motifs anyway. Anderson has a knack for producing statement pieces that don’t look like they’re trying too hard to be statement pieces, a talent he expertly deploys at Loewe as well. Whilst Maison Margiela collections are like the fashion equivalent of that Jughead “I’m weird, I’m a weirdo” speech, J.W Anderson’s refusal to conform is quiet and modest. I like it. It’s not generally my personal style but I can admire the thought behind the work, and there are still some things I’d love to try. I have a few standouts-the shoes with the hoop detailing dancing from the ankle straps, the dress on the bottom right with what appears to be art nouveau typography on, the trench coat with the cape detailing and the gossamer dress to its right are all stunning, especially that dress. If I ever want to dress as the bubble Glinda the Good Witch descends in when she meets Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I know where to go, though I don’t suppose there’s going to be an occasion that calls for that any time soon. Can I just have the dress anyway?
Kim Shui is another new designer I found through blessed Twitter screencaps-thanks guys for doing my research for me. Much appreciated.
But anyways! Like Charlotte Knowles, it’s clear she’s still establishing her aesthetic as a designer, and thus far I love it. The whimsical, throwback prints on urban silhouettes that range from the androgynous suits of city dwelling cool girls to the amped-up sex appeal of nightclub dresses is gorgeous, especially twinned with dainty headscarfs and opera gloves-all in all I think this a very cool and wearable collection and I’m looking forward to the next collection she puts out.
Next up is Lacoste, and IDK why I always include their collections to be honest, considering they’re not really known for “high fashion”. I guess it’s because my dad has collected Lacoste shirts since I was little so I kinda have a soft spot for it and feel obligated to include it every time presentation season comes around. Yes, the outfits are unbearably preppy and the colours are garish but I feel like that’s kind of the appeal? So what if some of the tracksuits look like they could’ve been pulled out of a bad mafia movie? I see the argyle jumpers, with a bit of wear and tear, as a charity shop gem my sister would come across (she has the #Y2K Depop girl knack for finding old designer pieces in the shittiest charity shops without the audacity to try and sell them at a 70% markup) that I would then steal from her wardrobe to wear myself, contrasted with a ripped mini skirt, chains and and docs. I see the POTENTIAL of a look that is very fuck you to the rich middle age tory styling we see here. It’s punk, okay?
Lanvin was STUNNING this time around. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching Mad Men recently and it reminds me of the fashion on that-which I hope somebody won an award for at the time BTW, it is SO fucking good-but I just adore every look here. I can’t even remember if I reviewed Lanvin’s SS20 show, and so clearly if I did it wasn’t that memorable (no shade intended), however this collection is a different story. Every single one of these outfits is iconic movie moment worthy, a 60s Cher Horowitz plaid two piece equivalent that would get screencapped and replicated ad-nauseam, all the best looks of Betty Draper and Peggy Olsen and Joan Holloway and Megan Calvet brought together and refined for the modern day woman. I might even consider sacrificing my anti-royalist principles if it meant I could transport myself back in time and switch bodies with Grace Kelly so I could make this collection my princess-off-duty wardrobe and drive around Monaco in that Bella Hadid look, roof down, all the drama of the fur trim and the gloves and hair whipping about in the wind (but in this unrealistic vision I can actually see what I’m doing and I’m not choking on random strands and swearing at Mother Nature as if she is a real entity with a personal vendetta against me).
Loewe! More J.W Anderson! I’m gonna try not to repeat myself by arsekissing too much all over again and get the good points out of the way quickly! So rapid fire: elegant! Delicious colour palette! Interesting shapes! I think I’m seeing a Victorian/Edwardian influence there! Correct me if I’m wrong! I like it! The coats are strong! Remind me of the suffragettes! But lets pretend in this case these Loewe style coat wearing suffragettes are not raging classists!
AH. Apart from that, it was a bit too austere for me. I definitely preferred Anderson’s eponymous collection; there were a fair few recurring details in this show that I couldn’t get behind that I didn’t include, in particular this bib-like black panel that just kept popping up on everything. Sorry J.W Anderson. But a 50% success rate is still good! And at the end of the day, having 2 collections on Vogue Runway at once is more prestigious than the accumulative total of every accomplishment I’ll probably ever have achieved in my life by the time I’m on my deathbed so what do I know anyway? Sigh:( At least I’ll always have the honour of having the largest head by circumference of my class in year 4, right *sweats nervously*!?!?!
Louis Vuitton was definitely a downgrade on last season for me. There were for sure elements I liked-the Vera Wang-esuqe mixing of the tulle bustle skirts with the rougher, more masculine biker inspired vests and jackets was a cool choice, reminiscent of Gucci’s mixing of the lace dresses with harnesses. I enjoyed the baroque jackets and subtle nods to steampunk style too. Though we’ve already seen it a lot this season, the wet look coat with fur trim I can’t help falling in love with, and I’m immune to the potential ugliness of the muted blue monotone look purely on the basis I can picture Ripley from Alien in it. So like I said-it’s not as if I hated it. I guess when it comes down to it, the collection wasn’t bad so much as I just had higher hopes. I will say though, the staging was INCREDIBLE. As a history nerd, I never thought I’d see the day when a Henry the 8th lookalike actor was part of the backdrop of a Paris fashion week show-and I always thought there was no interesting career path for me in the subject!
And another big name I don’t tend to be so partial to, Maison Margiela. IDK, I did like last season but I wasn’t a fan of haute couture and it took me a while to warm to this. Call it deconstructed, experimental, whatever, but you know when you can’t decide what to wear and you’re in a rush so you kinda just throw all the shit you decided against into a pile? Well, my initial thought was that this season Margiela is kinda that, on the runway.
I will say, once I let go of my need to see a clear shape, a lot of the individual pieces were stunning (NOT the puffed up tabis though, I still can’t even get behind the regular ones). I guess I just wish they’d go for less is more with the styling because as it currently stands, it makes it hard to actually take the clothes in.
Ultimately, one thing you can always say about Margiela, like their clothes or not, is that it has a monopoly on being effortlessly bold.
Marc Jacobs I really liked again, though I will say it doesn’t stand out quite like the S/S collection did. That was absolutely STUNNING-I can’t remember specifically where I ranked it in my top ten but I know it was at least in the top 5. This, on the other hand, is...pretty. It’s very pretty, and very put together, so I’m not saying at all that I don’t rate it. I suppose it’s just a lot simpler than I expected it to be-I don’t have a problem with simplicity, at all, especially if it’s what a brand is known for but I feel like part of the appeal with Marc Jacobs is that it’s pretty kooky. I mean, not Thom Browne or Margiela kooky, but commercial kooky at least. I feel like the kookiness is lacking here? And that’s where this feeling is coming from? And also, the fact that Lanvin tackled the same era and did it a lot better? So there’s that, too. Plus, I adore Miley Cyrus but...why? Random celebrities waking the runway just doesn’t do it for me-it always comes across as a publicity grab, as if the designer isn’t confident enough in their collection’s ability to get people talking on its own, and I suppose in this case that says it all really.
Margaret Howell was...well, Margaret Howell. She’s known for her basics, and they’re always pretty non-offensive “regulation hottie” in the words of the icon that is Damian from Mean Girls. It’s been, what, four years? More? Since I last watched that film but I’m pretty sure watching it about twenty times between the ages of 9 and 15 tattooed it on my brain. I include her because even though they don’t get my pulse racing, I like these pieces; considering the fact that expecting straight white men to ever have style on the level of barbiedrugz (his instagram is my favourite thing ever) or Rickey Thompson is ludicrous, Margaret Howell’s menswear looks are probably are the best, realistic goal for any future partner. Because I like my men dressed like Paddington bear/a depressed Brown University English lit lecturer, okay? Or in other words, Will Graham from Hannibal.
Marine Serre had a few good moments-the looks that I liked were the ones that stayed within her lane of blending the weird with the visually appealing. There were a lot of cool things going on, and I like the utility vibe (the boot with the pouch detailing and the mask are perfect examples of this done well), but outside the fits I picked out a lot of it went over my head tbh.
Marques Almeida is a show I was looking forward to-it has such a youthful, experimental quality to its collections (it’s no surprise the designers said they were influenced by the HBO show Euphoria this year!), similar to Central Saint Martins, and you can tell the designers (Marta Marques and Paulo Almeida) are based in London too; we are talking about the birthplace of the punk fashion movement, and as a designer it’s probably almost a rite of passage that you incorporate elements of that into your work. Marques Almeida does that with a flair and consistency you can count on. Their clothes don’t have the wildest silhouettes or anything like that but the fun they have playing around with print and colour and the ease and confidence with which they settle on those combinations always comes through-the black and white coat with the yellow furs trim is one of my favourite pieces from the entirety of this season’s offerings.
I wasn’t so fond of Max Mara’s SS20 collection and I'm not gonna lie, this isn’t THAT much of a step up for me personally. It’s just one of those brands I feel obligated to include because it’s talked about quite a bit but I’m not totally sure if it’s for me. Too monotone, but I’ll give it another season! And I mean, there is a slight improvement here-this collection is a lot more laid back than the stiff, austere feel of the last, and there are some very well fitted and structured pieces. A lot of the looks kinda remind me of a 2020, fashion take on The Breakfast Club’s “Basket Case”, which is kinda cool, and just from looking at the clothes, the high price tag is palpable. Also, scruffy hair club unite! Though obviously it’s intentional here! That’ll be my excuse for the next time I turn up at work looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards-Max Mara made me do it.
Ending on those words of wisdom, I’m gonna bring this post to a close, because I can’t fit any more photos in! I’m desperately hoping that I can fit this all into 3 parts like I did with my last RTW review but even if I do have to make 4 posts, I still include my top 10 shows as I did before. I hope to get that post up within the next couple of weeks! After that, I’ve shot a Lana Del Rey inspired by each of her different albums and “era”s though given last week’s events I’m on the fence about whether to post it or not, especially given her silence over the last couple of days. I’m really proud of what I’ve put together and I’ll always love her art and music (I have 2 bloody tattoos, for fuck’s sake!), so I’m trying to think how I can reconcile that with those awfully worded posts and just the general lack of awareness of bigger issues that she’s displayed the last week. JFC, being a Lana stan has always been so chilled up until now. All the very valid and important takes aside, that “Lana pls delete that post and apologise, we can’t fight the barbz all your stans are depressed” tweet is the only good thing to come out of this shitshow. He got a point. Breathing feels like effort lately:( IDK, if you’re also a Lana stan and you have any opinions on the matter, feel free to DM me, because I’m feeling pretty conflicted rn.
Most importantly though, are the issues I opened this post by talking about, and I thought I’d finish by including the thread of petitions I saw on Twitter. Like I said, a lot of them aren’t available to sign in the UK but to anyone who read up until this point (thank you!) idk where you’re reading from so maybe some of them will apply to you:
Also, while we’re at it, because every tory voting twat seems to treat our country as if it’s some beacon of hope where racism is non-existent and love to tell PoC to stop moaning about their experiences, here’s a thread of black British men and women who have lost their lives to police violence:
Thank you for reading until the end. I hope that you enjoyed the fashion part of the post but also that if you did read this far, you read the other bits too if you didn’t know what was going on already. It seems like everyone does but you forget that Twitter’s a bit of an echo chamber and that outside of it, there’s a lot of ignorance, whether intentional or not. I know Tumblr has a similar audience to Twitter so I imagine there’s loads on here about everything going on too, but ya know. I wanted to talk about it just incase.
Stay safe, keep fighting the good fight, and again, thank you for reading!<3
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i’m not physically wearing a gown standing in an empty ballroom dimly lit by candles listening to champagne problems moments after quietly refusing the very public wedding proposal of my betrothed, but i am emotionally
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What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about?
I won’t even have kids...
What is your least favourite thing about your full name?
it’s long, it’s polish, it’s feminine, it starts on a letter Z that is rarely used, people don’t know how to write my surname down, it reminds people of a stupid song that I hate etc.
Do you like sunglasses?
Do you think dreams can give us insight to things?
Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk?
What is your favourite glass to drink from?
prefer a mug
When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now?
they were born in Poland where we still live
What time is it in the country you get the most of your heratige from?
Would you rather live in the 1960’s or the 1910’s?
Is the computer your only current light source?
Do you think you look good with a hat on?
I’m ugly no matter what so...
Do you have anyone you fully trust?
not fully, not even myself, some I just trust more than others
When did you last talk on the phone with someone?
yesterday with M.
Have you ever deleted Facebook friends for a significant other?
When did you last receive a hug and who was it from?
mom, this day
Was the last movie you watched a horror film?
Do you own a lot of tee shirts?
Do you handle pain well?
Have you ever been so nervous you threw up?
I never threw up out of stress, I can feel nauseous though
Do you enjoy your hairstyle?
not really atm but it’s not the worst
How much make up do you wear on a daily basis?
Do you have a leather jacket?
What is the worst insult someone can call you?
I’ve already heard everything I suppose...
Do you write on your hands a lot?
Do you think hugs are awkward?
Ever play Angry Birds?
flappy bird only
How late did you stay up last night?
Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you?
Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday?
they would have to be really stupid to choose mine tbh
Is there a place you’d rather live right now?
on my own...
Do you go out often?
Is there anyone who is overly nice to you?
my current partner, I don’t deserve her
If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on?
I’m not reading anything
Do you have a job you like?
I don’t have a job
How many scarves do you own, if any at all?
uh oh :x
What is one way in which this year is different from last year?
where should I start...
Do you feel like you have too much on your plate and your life is too hard?
for me it is too hard
Did you do anything you regret within the last 24 hours?
What is your favorite day to go grocery shopping?
I don’t have a favorite day to go but I don’t shop on Sundays and Mondays, Fridays and Saturdays are usually the hardest to get anything
Would you follow God even if it meant losing your home, your source of food, all of your friends, or even your life?
jeśli byłabym 100% pewna, że Bóg tego chce i co mam robić
Who’s death has affected you the most?
Have you ever grown sunflowers?
they didn’t turn out well
Are you scared to stand up to a police officer?
What is your doctor’s first name?
Do you hate political posts on facebook?
when there’s plenty, especially wrong
How many pictures do you have stored on your computer?
Which type of camera do you prefer: digital or Polaroid?
hard to tell
Have you ever had a camera that took film?
we had when I was still a kid
Do you ever squirt whip cream onto a plate and then eat it by itself?
Have you ever had a hot flash?
Are you ok?
my heart hurts badly
Would you rather wear purple glasses or black glasses?
If you’re a girl, do you ever shop in the boys or mens section?
If you’re a guy, do you ever shop in the girls or womens section?
I’m a woman
What do you think of when you hear the word “Christian”?
religious person lmfao
How many pullover hoodies do you own?
Which do you take more: videos or photos?
What is the most embarrassing thing you can think of happening?
my imagination is vivid
What are two names you used to get mixed up when you were younger?
for example - Ada and Adrianna
What do u think of the quote “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing”
Do you wear earmuffs when it’s cold out?
I don’t own any
If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt?
on my phone, not computer
What do you smell right now?
luckily nothing much
If you were an instrument, what would you be?
Do you hate the usual 100 questions surveys? EX: Eye color
Does your house have a doorbell?
Do you know someone who has dropped out of high school?
If you were to get a pet turtle right now, what would you name it?
mine was called Bob and I don’t want a new one
What’s your most hated commercial to watch?
most of them are shit
What was the last thing you charged?
When you were younger, did you believe you could fly?
if I did I would be dead by now (jumping out of window or smth)
Favorite farm animal?
What’s your favorite name that begins with B?
I don’t like polish names starting on B letter
If someone payed you $500 would you take a bath in milk?
Do you enjoy having time to yourself?
Can you do a cart wheel?
still but crappy
Do you like Ed Sheeran?
Would you rather become an author or teacher?
How many people are you currently texting?
This time tomorrow, what will you be doing?
hopefully spend time with @jonasz-cat
Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday?
Have you ever been inside a recording studio?
I have not
Would you rather visit Mars or Neptune?
Does it bother you when people keep talking to you and you want to leave?
Have you ever texted a landline phone by accident?
my sister did
Do you like quotes about love or life better?
love is part of life
What color is your garage?
Do you like it when people give you compliments?
Was your hair straight today?
my hair is wavy
Do you ever share things on Facebook?
quizzes from buzzfeed, music link from yt and selfies
Do you pick out your outfits for the next day the night before or the AM?
What color was your swim suit this year?
Do ladders scare you?
1 through 10, how would you rate your day?
Any specific reason why?
how I feel physically and those mirror demons mostly + some minor things
Salt or pepper?
If you look to your right & then look down.. What do you see?
Did you use swear words today?
What did you buy today?
If you had the choice to meet three famous people, who would you choose?
dead or alive?
Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic?
dog is domestic ;)
Do you think people under fourteen should have sex?
How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage?
What is something most people think of as lame, but you don’t?
Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part?
just my teeth, fingers or eyes
Do you like gore?
Would you rather receive a kiss on the cheek, or on the forehead?
Have you ever had a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend flirt with you?
someone who seriously tried to become my friend’s bf flirted with me and her sister and that’s one of reasons I say that you can lie with both actions AND words
Where is your biological mother at the moment?
Do you enjoy going places with your mother, like running errands?
Do you have any annoying siblings?
she indeed annoys me
How many people are in your immediate family?
I count my parents and eventually my sister as immediate family
Would you say you have good or bad luck?
Do you like your laugh?
Do you hate it when people ask you how their survey was at the end?
because they should do better, be more unique, sorry not sorry
What are your plans for the rest of the day?
Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants?
... buttons? not zipper?...
What does your last text say?
it was the link to the article
Do you ever think about the past?
I’m nostalgic and an overthinker
Is math your favorite part of school?
even in middle school when I was getting high grades for math I didn’t like it that much
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
You’ve taken fifteen shots of vodka, what are you doing?
exactly, WHAT AM I DOING?!
Do you regret any of your relationships?
yasss but I guess I learned yadda yadda yadda
Whats the last taste in your mouth?
stomach acid :(
What are your countries staple dishes? (Italians - pizza, pasta etc)
What was the last thing you felt disappointed by?
my very own self
Do you play games on your phone?
nothing else but Choices
Do you have music on your cellphone?
Name three black things that you can see?
necklace, cellphone, calculator
Do you like your best friends parents? Could you even tell me their names?
I liked my elementary school’s bestie’s mom - Mrs. Krysia
she was like an aunt to me and still recognizes me on the street, I miss her
Are you more of a mums kid or dads kid?
Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn?
Marilyn Monroe forever
anything silly that annoys you? (i hate hearing nails being clipped)
for example - someone scratching their plate with a fork, jak ktoś sztućcem zgrzebuje resztki jedzenia mam ochotę go zamordować >.<
would you perfer to do the dishes or hang washing?
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LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING [SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF]
pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier
chapter count: 1/5
summary: eddie kaspbrak runs an advice blog online, and he finds that maybe he’s starting to develop feelings for the cute, regular anon he gets gushing about their crush. meanwhile, richie tozier opens up his heart about falling in love to an anonymous advice blogger.
read on ao3.
Eddie wondered if it was a little sad how excited he got when the message in his inbox started with a little purple heart emoji. Because his little heart definitely jumped in his chest every time he saw it at the front, and that message always got instant priority over whatever else was in his inbox.
omg cute boy did the most perfect thing today. i dont even have a genuine question here, or anything i just need to express how perfect this tiny human is and i think all my friends are tired of hearing about gfhdlgfhakjahsjlga i wanna hold his stupid tiny hand.
Eddie smiled to himself, clicking on the reply button. The past few weeks, Eddie’s spur of the moment advice blog had suddenly gained a ridiculous amount of popularity after a screenshot of one his posts had made its way onto a Buzzfeed article. With all the new followers, a great influx of messages had come along as well. Including this specific purple heart emoji anon, who seemed to be completely and utter smitten with somebody who worked in the same place as he did. And Eddie well, maybe Eddie was a little in love with how in love his anon was. Or maybe he wanted somebody to love him that much.
“Good moooooorning, beautiful!”
Eddie startled, quickly slamming the lid of his computer down. His advice blog was a top secret of his, the only person who knew he did was his best friend from high school, Mike. They’d both made blogs back in the early years of high school, and Eddie had clung to his as a perfect escape from the bullshit of the real world. He didn’t think Mike still used it, but he was the only person who knew that Eddie used his. And what he used it for.
Richie worked at the Starbucks across from Eddie’s store in the mall, and he’d seemed to latch onto Eddie on his very first day on the job. They were both college students trying to make ends meet with part time jobs when they weren’t in their classes or sleeping, and Richie had declared them kindred spirits. That had been almost two years earlier, and Eddie had officially been selling skinny jeans and sweaters to teenager girls for way too long.
“Sure slammed that shut pretty quick,” Richie commented with a small whistle. He raised his eyebrow and cocked his lips up into half a grin. His small overbite was barely obvious from that smile, but it was still annoying adorable. Eddie supposed that must things were annoyingly adorable about Richie Tozier. “Are you looking at porn on the job, Kaspbrak? Or do you just have deep dark hidden secret out there on the Internet?”
Eddie flushed. “You’re not supposed to be behind the counter.”
Richie held his hands up in defense, each one holding a Starbucks cup and rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll just take your iced coffee back over to work and dump it out then.”
“You’ll do no such thing!” Eddie cried, flopping forward in his chair to make grabby hands at smaller cup. Richie let out a laugh and handed the drink to Eddie, tucking his own empty hand into the back pocket of his jeans.
Eddie took a sip of the drink and let out a loud sigh. Richie had perfected his drink to the point where Eddie wouldn’t go to Starbucks if Richie wasn’t working. On the nice days when Richie’s shift started before Eddie’s, Eddie wouldn’t have to get up and get it himself at all. “Are you done now?” Eddie asked, glancing at the clock on the wall behind him. It was a little after noon, a bit early for Richie to be finished his shift but he knew that Richie did like to take shorter shifts during exam season.
“Nah. Not done until three.” Richie said, sipping at his red-coloured, syrupy iced drink that Eddie was never brave enough to ask what was in it. “I’m going on my break. Want to go see the outside world with me and remember what it’s like to be free?”
Eddie clucked his tongue, and turned on the chair to look at his coworker, Kay. “Is it okay if I go on my break now?” It was a little early to Eddie to take a break, and he knew he’d probably regret it later when he had to move through the last several hours of his shift in one go, but he was still going to jump at the chance.
Kay looked up from the binder of the summer sales that were coming in, and smirked as she caught sight of Richie standing with Eddie. “Yeah, we’re completely dead,” Kay replied. “I’m not sure why Barb insists on scheduling two people in the middle of the day when our entire target audience is in school.”
“K thanks!” Eddie jumped down from the chair, sticking his tongue out at Kay as Richie turned around. He supposed that his raging crush on the lankier guy hadn’t exactly been subtle over the last year or so, but it was subtle enough that Richie hadn’t seemed to notice and that was what mattered in the long run.
He remembered how annoyed he’d been when he’d realized that he’d fallen for the stupid barista boy like a goddamn internet cliche. But then again, Eddie had never claimed to be anything more than an Internet cliche, so what the point in fighting it? He’d let himself fall full forward into liking Richie, and found that he enjoyed Richie even more than he’d originally realized. Once he stopped fighting his crush, and let himself genuinely find Richie funny and amusing, life became so much lighter.
Richie jumped up onto the curb stop once they’d gotten outside, and swung his leg around while drinking from the red drink of death. “So... are you going to invite me to Mike’s party this weekend?”
Eddie raised one eyebrow, a challenge. “I’m assuming that since you’re asking about it, that Mike has already asked you.”
“Well, yeah.” Richie huffed, but he was still smiling. “But you didn’t ask me, Eddie. And that hurts. I thought we were lovers.”
Eddie rolled his eyes, but he knew that he was blushing. “I don’t know whatever gave you that idea, Richard, but I’ll have you know that I didn’t invite anybody to this party. Because it’s Mike’s party, for his weird fuckboy boyfriend. I just happen to live in the same house as that party. I’ll be spending it in my room, probably watching re-runs of the Office with Chinese food.”
Richie jumped off the curb and landed in front of Eddie. “Well then- invite me to that.”
Eddie narrowed his eyes. “You want to spend your Saturday night sitting alone with me watching the Office?”
“My favourite show with my favourite boy?” Richie reached out and pinched Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie swatted him away with a grumble. “Honestly, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do on Saturday. It’s not like I’d be drinking anyway.”
Eddie nodded, knowing all about Richie’s long and poor history with alcohol that had peaked the year before they’d met. Still though... parties seemed like something Richie enjoyed, as somebody who thrived on social environments. “You're welcome to come over and watch the Office with me,” Eddie said with small smile. “And I promise I won’t be offended when you ditch me for the music and chatter of half the school in my tiny living room.”
Richie tossed an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulled him into him. “I would never ditch my Eds!”
“I swear,” Richie said, gesturing towards Eddie’s small bedroom television set. They were both laying together, Eddie’s small enough that they were pressed together from top to bottom. It wasn’t the first time they’d been seated in Eddie’s bed like this, but it made Eddie’s heart race everytime. “It takes Pam and Jim longer to get together every time I want this show.”
Eddie let his head lull to the side, crinkling up his nose. He, personally, could barely hear the show over the raging music from the party outside the walls. Mike had promised to try and keep it down for them, but Eddie hadn’t really expected much. “They get together in the same episode every time.”
“Yes, Edward.” Richie rolled his eyes, letting his hand come down and start to fiddling with the rainbow pride rope bracelet that Eddie always wore on his left wrist. “In my old age, I just find myself a little less tolerant of all this slowburn. They’re obviously soulmates, why must we sit through so much bullshit when they should just have gotten together at the start?”
Eddie chuckled, hoping Richie couldn’t feel his blood rushing under his hold on his wrist. “I like the slowburn. It’s interesting, you know? Two people who obviously right for each other but had to the get the timing right too. That’s the whole part of it. I think Jim and Pam wouldn’t have been nearly as interesting and powerful as couple if they’d gotten together right at a beginning and never had to like... really go through it together.”
“I just don’t think love should always have to be such a struggle.” Richie said, moving on from playing with Eddie’s bracelet to simply rubbing at Eddie’s wrist. “Why can’t just once I see a couple get together and then nothing bad ever happens, the end.”
Eddie smiled softly. “Why, Richard Tozier, I didn’t know you were such a closet romantic.”
“There’s lots you don’t know about me, Eds.” Richie tilted his head back down and smiled at him. Eddie blinked sleepily at him, letting his smile turn slightly confused. Richie let out a sigh. “Like, uh... I probably never told you this, but I think the best decision I ever made was going over to talk to you that day when you surrounded by all those preteens that were freaking out that you guys were sold out of those new Kardashian jeans.”
Eddie groaned, head falling into Richie’s neck. He told himself he imagined that Richie’s seemed to jump underneath him at the pressure of Eddie’s body.“Oh my God, that was the worst fucking day.”
“Wow,” Richie chuckled, moving Eddie’s body with his. Richie had always been a touchy feely friend, but Eddie didn’t think they’d ever been this close. “Guess I’ll just die.”
“Obviously the only good part of the day was the big gangly losers coming over and handing me a coffee even thought he’d never met and wasn’t sure how I even took it.” Eddie laughed, shifting so he could look at him, chin resting on Richie’s chest.
“Hey.” Richie waggled his eyebrows. “I made a wicked iced coffee that day.”
“It was edible.” Eddie said dryly. “But I think I was so high on anxiety, you could have handed me hot piss in a cup and I would’ve drank it without a second thought.”
“That’s disgusting,” Richie laughed, leaning in to press a quick kiss to Eddie’s forehead. “I thought I was supposed to be the disgusting one.”
Eddie’s entire face flushed. “You’re not that disgusting.”
Something odd and soft came over Richie’s face, and he was leaning closer... closer... Eddie took in a shaky breath, closed his eyes...
A loud crash, followed by Mike swearing, broke them apart. Eddie rolled his eyes and paused the show. “Want to help me kick some ass?”
“Every single person in that room could kill me with one punch,” Richie replied, smiling cheekily. “But I would happily die in a fight for my Eddie Spaghetti.”
“Oh my God, fucking gross, how many times do I need to tell you not to call me that?”
“At least once more, apparently.”
After Richie and the party guests had all gone home, Eddie quickly logged into his blog and clicked onto his ask box. Right at the top was a message from the purple heart.
fuck i almost kissed the cutie today! he seemed into it but this stupid party interrupt it and now im like??? do i try to kiss him again or was i over thinking it? ah ah ah pls send help. i need a whole army of strong men to carry me through this.
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Someone sent me a buzzfeed article about Australian slang, and I wanted you to know that my first thought was of you.
Omg this makes me so happy haha😊
Honestly I used to never say this until recently (when I started saying it ironically but now can’t stop) but my fave slang is “I’m not here to fuck spiders” bc it’s so ridiculous
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omg you made post/188225495464/ ?? I've seen it a few times before lmao, nice 👌
yes I made it eight years ago lol...I didn't have many followers on that blog, but I made that post without even thinking (used to post each and every thought back then) went to sleep, woke up to find it had almost 100k notes overnight somehow and I had over 400 new followers lmao. It was shocking, a crazy rush, and probably the reason I'm addicted to tumblr even still...I've probably remade at least 3 times since then though whoops
when I was googling the post out of curiosity to see where the note count went, I found it on a damn BUZZFEED article. where's my money buzzfeed??
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Buzzfeed shared your post in an article about Scooter Braun :0
omg I actually saw that by accident while I was scrolling through Facebook one day!!!! that’s so wild. I know some people are in buzzfeed posts all the time so it’s casual to them but I’ve only been in a few times so lowkey I still think it’s cool and get excited. Thank you for letting me know!
edit: actually omg I just searched again and it’s a new article you’re talking about!! omg I didn’t see this one wow I’m like the only post in there that’s crazy
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Stuff my friends and i have said in 2019
Literally no body asked for this but i feel like these quote's i've collected for the last year really explain gen z
so, in chronological order, here we go kiddos
I am foricbly taken from the forest. YEET!" -M
"Canada has had it too good for too long. Destruction is sure to come soon enough" -olive
"And what stragety are you using to avoid responsibility this time?" -me
"Just not doing it. I've perfected it over the years."-M
"I'm not fixing it. I'll just live with the shame and hope it goes away. It has a 40% success rate" -Me
*Gesturing to the many water bottles in her room* "I have a drinking problem. The withdrawl symptoms are harsh." -M
"How far . . . would you be willing to go . . . for a pizza?"-M
" . . . Several llama's worth." -me
"Why is it always the ones you love the most that hurt you?" -M
"... Are we still talking about jellybeans?" -Me
"Im still sick from those [jellybeans]" -M
"oml this is why you pace yourself" -me
"YES. ITS WHERE YOU DONT EAT ALL THE FUCKIN JELLYBEANS AT ONCE"
"IT WAS SO WORTH IT"
"TrAsHIE?? You're BaCK??" -M
"Congradulations. Yous been blessed."-M
"Wait, today's Tuesday, right?" -M
"Okay so I'm not going crazy. And it's the 22nd?"
"...It's the 28th."
"DECEIT! Wait what are you doing" -me
"You said 'seat!' so I thought you wanted me to sit down." -M
"No, I said 'deceit.'"
"Wow, I love being able to read . . . oh my gosh wAIT"
"This is what we in the business call an Oof." -M
"I wish I could move my nose to my boob. That would be so helpful." -We don't actually know who said this but I couldn't just not include it.
"I can flirt but i can also whoop your ass with my words within the same hour and it will be hilarious (@ everyone who has done me wrong)" -A.F
"Warning: prone to existential crisis" -olive @ me
"Is it weird that I want to hang out with a group of people and just take pictures of them in the moment?"-me
"A photography orgy." -M
"GUESS WHAT" -me
"YEAH? MARRIED A HIPPO?"-M
"Me once I wake up" - A.F.
"Planning a riot to make bathtubs bigger?" -me
"Yes. or maybe I'll just buy one of those pro-old people baths." -olive
"NEXT TIME WE HANG OUT WE'LL INVADE M'S HOME, RED ONIONS IN HAND, CRUNCH CRUNCH" -olive (We forgot to do this, actually)
"This lgbting is not good for me" -olive
"LIGHTING** OMG" -olive
"I'm gonna go stick a fork in my eye to relieve the pain that post brought" -olive
"MISSPELLS MEAN NOTHING TO ME I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT MATTERS TO ATTEND TO" -me
"Imagine pronouning the 'ch' as in cherish. Chemical." -olive
"Sounds like a red wine from some distant land of elves" -me
"Sedate everyone just by screaming and then kill them off" -olive
"... im more interested in skyrim politics than earth's politics" -olive
"'How To Tell If They're Using Magic Or Not In Ten Steps' Honestly, it was probably Buzzfeed that released that article" -me
"No, i think [toads] normally live like,,, seven years or something" -me
"why is trump still here if he is past the legal age of male lifespan" -olive
"The remaining two of donald's braincells are busy playing mini golf, it seems" - olive
"This is actually going to work out
Nothing is working out anymore" -A.F.
"... and you've got Adrian who was hot but now he's dead so.. less hot" -olive
"the occasional virgin sacrifice, but it's fine" -olive
"only YOU can train an elephant to do a back handspring" -M
"no waking up at 2 AM like a lil bitch" -olive
"(I don't like something they did so make them wet their pants then kill them)" - olive [we don't know why its in parenthesis]
"this cult sucks" -me
"arkay= funeral daddy. u thank him for your babies and give him your old in return" -olive
"MAN I DISTRACT MYSELF UR GOOD" -olive
"?????? possession is the only answer" -olive
"Well yeah we all know infant pizza are the size of the average thumbnail" -me
"I don't need food. you are making me WEAK" -me
*in the tone of a man with fragile masculinity* no son of mine drinks pulp!" -olive
"I will not try you. You will try the test of time and, inevitably, fall to your knees and surrender. I will be there to witness it, I will be there to note it, and I will never let you forget it. This is your warning." -me
"Is that looks like John Winchester" -me
"Let it be noted that you started Robot Mode at 2:18 A.M. on February 13, 2019, and intended to continue this until your motral death. (She lasted an hour)" -me
"Todays mood; did i just blink or was that a power surge" -olive
"todays void answer; both" -me
"I definetly have road rage... and i dont even drive" -A.F.
"Grain in a tunnel; hole wheat" -M
"how do yoU HAND????" -me
"frick i dont know. i cant art. have you seen my art??" -M
*me, trying to get my camera to zoom in* "cAN YOU FOCUS?!??"
*M, watching from a distance* "me in class"
"Sleep is the only me time I get" -M
"Fuck the mirrors" -olive
"But its emotion and i dont want it" -me
"The american school system is so garbage a 10th grader ate a plastic flower and fucking died" -olive, about me (didn't actually eat the flower and im still alive)
"i didn't think she could climb stairs??? grandma wyd" -olive
"I'm sorry but that implies that when he's terrified it [his hair] just fuckin shoots outta his head like goddamn noodle bamboo and that makes all the whumpy scenes we've discussed so much funnier" -me, to olive
"Turns irish than german fuck it all" -olive
"I thought it was flaoting dog poop with crayons in it" -olive
"listen u may know small words but i certainly dont let me live my life of mistakes" -me
"im cursing the shit out of my stepmom" -olive
"mmmm i just have to get my hands on a darker book bc most are by wiccan authors and theyre whole philosphy is do no harm but im not subscribed to that so" -olive
"sometimes the spell can potentially kill people but thats not my problem" -olive
"my corporeal form may be deteriorating but i'll be damned if i don't make the horrifying crescendo of my existance into an opportunity for a cheap laugh" -olive
"dear family : if i find out who put lotion in the soap dispenser, well, lets just say i will be dispensing your kidneys to the black market." -olive
"The spiciness e x p a n d e d "-M
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I’M ON A BUZZFEED ARTICLE OMG AFJDK
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Buzzfeed is going to be your big break I’m so excited for you 🤗
omg that’s so nice!!! thank you for saying that 💛 their article is so kind
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