#omg it has been so long since i have had to rage quit anything

[archangelsammy]

archangelsammy's supernatural fic recs! <3

keep in mind that there's gonna be a lot of random stuff here. I read pretty much anything and everything. do keep in mind the tags before you read! if you don't like a fic/ship that's here, then don't read it. I don't want to see any hate here please.

short fics <5,000w

It's A River (But Not In Egypt) by Lise (Sam/Lucifer)

He's still a liar. Maybe always has been. Season 7, Sam & Hallucifer. References to torture, more gen than shippy.

flutter by real-placebo-effect (Sam/Michael)

Suddenly, Sam sees where Gabriel gets it from. It's almost endearing. Cute and sweet, set in early season 7. Canon divergence.

[record scratch, freeze frame] yep. that's me, plummeting into hell. you might be wondering how i got myself into this situation. well, it all started when i was born by kbaycolt (Sam/Lucifer)

The fall to Hell takes seven days. Post-episode Swan Song, angst. Short, and open ending.

just say by real-placebo-effect (Sam/Lucifer)

He won't say it so he doesn't say anything. Sam unravels anyway. Short, sweet, and shippy.

I should have been a pair of ragged claws by sparklylulz (Sam/Lucifer)

He wonders if he’ll go to Hell for sympathizing with the devil. Great Sam characterization.

speaking by maplewix (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam teaches Lucifer how to talk with his hands. Lucifer teaches Sam about angels. Sam is deaf, and Lucifer is mute. Unfinished but worth it.

and so the tower fell by thequietwings (Sam/Lucifer)

Lucifer taught Sam how to speak Enochian in the Cage. Really is angst masquerading as cute scenes. Podfic available!

Find Me At The End of Time by River_of_Dreams (Sam & Lucifer)

Sam Winchester wakes up in the Cage, knowing he's just condemned himself to an eternity of torture. But Lucifer has defied expectations since the beginnings of Time. He will do it again at its end. Post-episode Swan Songs, can be read as pre-slash.

at the end of the day by sharpbluejay (Sam/Lucifer, Chuck & Lucifer)

You do not, under any circumstances, have to hand it to the Devil, except when you do.

Or it turns out that watching the Devil confront God (with a capital G) reminds Sam a little too much of himself yelling at John. This is a strange thing to notice as the world is ending. Says slash, but can be read as gen. Post-episode 11x22 We Happy Few.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity by barryallenistheflash (Sam & Jack)

Jack begins to sense there's something not quite right.

Oh, no.

There's something

terribly,

awfully

wrong.

omg brilliant. alternate s14.

Twenty Steps by piglet (rethira) (Sam/Lucifer)

So, you accidentally married the Devil. As it says on the tin! crack, hilarious.

choosing, not ceasing by mythpoetry (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam lets the devil ride him out of hell. It's not the worst idea he's ever had. Beautiful scene towards the end. s5 Lucifer characterisation.

Holy by maplewix (Sam/Lucifer)

“No, that’s not possible, the world’s changed since—since the beginning, Pangea and—”

"Not the holy places," Lucifer said quietly.

can be read as gen, religious symbolism & crying.

Demons Aren't Mice (but Neither are they Men) by ohjustdisarmalready (Sam & Castiel & Crowley)

Crowley and Sam make a book club in the dungeon. Castiel is a part-time member. So much symbolism. References to literature, but you don't need to have read them.

long-ish fics 5,000w-10,000w

Falling Down by ophan (message me your email if you'd like a copy of ophans works) (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam says, 'Are you going to do it? Are you going to try and burn the world again?'

When Lucifer replies his voice is just as Sam remembers it. Low and musing, but also hoarse now, and filled with something fractured and brittle. It's shocking, in every way. A s9 canon-divergent fic with s5 Lucifer characterization.

Night Moves by Safiyabat (Sam/Lucifer)

Lucifer visits Sam in his dreams as the Apocalypse rages around them. While he should be trying to convince Sam to say "Yes," Sam soon finds that the Adversary isn't exactly adversarial. Done with the prompt 'classic rock,' loved the way music features in this.

someone to eat the fruit by anon (Sam/Lucifer)

The Cage is not what Sam expects. Interesting take on the cage - seems dark but is actually light-hearted.

Regrettable Situations in Storage Room 3 by occasionally_always (Sam/Castiel)

It’s not easy to get to the Farmers Market in the middle of a pandemic, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Sam would do anything to get some fresh air and sunlight, Cas really, really wants his organic honey, and most importantly, Dean’s not home to stop them. Humor & domestic. Can be read as gen too.

The Courtship of Sam Winchester by twicefivemiles (Sam/Lucifer)

While away from Dean and working a job he hates to forget a past he hates more, the last thing Sam needs is an unwanted suitor in his room every night. So sweet and good. Set around 5x03.

thou shalt not covet by sonatine (Sam/Lucifer, unrequited Sam/Castiel)

The irony is that Lucifer’s vessel — Nick — is exactly the kind of guy Sam would try to pick up. Tall but not scrawny; the kind of brawny Midwest farm stock that Dean, who prefers natty dressers with elegant faces (Cas) or someone who looks like they crawled out of Donner’s Pass (Benny), would curl his lip at. Sam would like to deny that he has a type, but his history of ex-lovers tells a story of sharp eyes, sharper smiles, and an intellect like a battering ram that he can throw himself against. This is thee fic of all time. Actually got me to ship Sam/Lucifer.

long fics 10,000w-50,000w

Love in Twelve Acts by sparxwrites (Sam/Lucifer)

It's hard not to love someone when you know their life story. Lucifer, like all angels, can travel in time; what he sees in the past changes him. Really interesting fic, well worth the read.

The Fourth Wall Series by entanglednow (Dean/Cas, Sam/Lucifer)

The guys explore the joys of fanfiction. Brilliantly done, some beautiful moments in this series.

the crucifix was constructed wrong by tigriswolf (Sam & Dean, no ships)

Sam time travels from the end of Swan Song to midway through No Rest for the Wicked. Ain’t nobody’s plans left intact.

He opens his eyes. Uncurls, glances at the candles, the symbols. “Ruby,” he murmurs. Smiles slowly.

Resumes the ritual.

fell down, threw up by goodnightfern (Cas/Dean, Sam/Lucifer)

The spell works on all of the angels and Lucifer's punishment continues. As for Sam? He's gotta be hallucinating again. (AU after 8.23)

Monsters Out of Time by KillerofHope (Sam/Lucifer)

God vanishes with his sister, Sam finds himself waiting at the bunker for Dean. But Lucifer arrives first, feeling just as lost as Sam.

A relationship snaps into place that both don't want to feel guilty about. s11 divergence, very light-hearted for the ship that it is.

How to Fall by alas_horatio (Sam/Lucifer)

When a spell goes wrong Sam ends up stranded in the north Canadian wilderness with nothing to do but bunker down and wait for rescue, which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the broken angel he's accidentally brought along for the ride. So well done, one of the best Sam/Lucifer fics out there.

Pyrphoros by lumpy-space-princess (Sam/Lucifer)

And thus did he who was called Forethought descend from the mountain with a fistful of fire, a boon of civilization to all Mankind.

Three tales, of three gifts, told in three parts. Just amazing.

Smoke and Mirrors by itallstartedwithdefenestration (Sam/Lucifer)

Sam spends most of his dreams with Lucifer trying to prove that they're nothing alike. Until he realizes that they are, and that maybe, just maybe, he's sick of denying it.

Tangible by glassedplanets (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

Wherein Sam's got the Devil whispering in his ear and he's well and truly fucked. Picks up after 7x15 and diverges from canon.

super long fics 50,000w-150,000w

A Young Writer Marked for Death by lysanatt (Sam/Lucifer, Michael/Adam)

Being an aspiring writer in Paris isn't easy, and with Adam wasting away from consumption, Sam's life sure is difficult. It could be worse, though: Adam could be dead or they could both be back in Kansas where they would end up in jail. Monsieur Lucifer could have asked them to leave Le Cabaret Perdu when he discovered the less than flattering poem that Adam wrote about him. Instead Sam makes a surprising deal with Lucifer that is going to change Adam's life — and his own. Sort-of Moulin Rouge AU with a happy ending.

The Light Beyond The Glass by ophan (Sam/Lucifer) (message me for the link)

There's a new Leviathan-eating monster on the loose, and Sam and Dean need to stop it before it starts eating humans. Trouble is, it can only be killed by an archangel. Luckily, Sam's found a summoning spell to take care of that. A s7 canon divergence fic with s5 Lucifer characterization.

Some Kind of Home by SansPellegrino (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

In which Sam gets kicked out of his own house and ends up being taken in by the Miltons; a somewhat dysfunctional family of seven held together by the two eldest brothers in the absence of their parents. Sam's plan is to stay with them until Dean comes home from serving in Afghanistan, and then he'll return to Stanford. But, as usual, other things just get in the way.

Stairway to Heaven by clowns_or_midgets, jadeys-world, snarkymuch (Sam/Lucifer)

AU. To save his brother, Sam makes a deal with the devil. The creature he expects and the man he actually encounters are two different beings, and soon he will have to choose between what he knows is right and what his heart desires.

Due Cause by alas_horatio (Sam/Lucifer, Dean/Cas)

Sam gets his first job at the law firm of his dreams, which just happens to be the workplace of his law-school idol, who in real life is a good deal more cynical and a great deal more creepy than he might have imagined. Also: Cas runs a snack cart. Also: Dean helps.

Who Do You Think You're Fooling? by all_the_kings_ham (Sam/Lucifer)

Just because you can find help on the side of the road doesn't mean that Sam has to accept that help with out reservations.

The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot by all_the_kings_ham (Sam/Lucifer)

It was such a simple plan.

How did it go so wrong so fast?

bad moon rising by gone_girl (no ships)

There are many American cults of worship, and none of them will ever have a place for the Winchester brothers. Arab Winchesters! Really good.

That's all folks! Leave a kudos/bookmark on the fics if you like them! This list is all thanks to @quietwingsinthesky and @godsprettiestprincess over on the archangel discord so thanks guys for the motivation <3

#supernatural #sam winchester #spn lucifer #dean winchester #hallucifer #supernatural fanfic recs #castiel #fic recs #supernatural fic recs #samifer #destiel #midam #gen fic #quietwingsinthesky #ramseynatural #my fic recs #spn michael #adam milligan

[the-pale-goddess]

I'm new to the fandom and have been enjoying your work. I wanted to know what is your hc for Ethan and his mother? Did he forgive her or cut her off for good? If you have any fics on it, can you let me know? Thank you. 🙂

Omg, hi! It’s so wonderful to see a new member joining our little OH circus! Welcome to the fandom, dear, hope you’ll like it here ❤️ I’m beyond honored that you’re enjoying my fictional corner, especially since I’m not too active anymore. Thank you for giving my writing a chance and sending this amazing ask 🥰 

I don’t think that I have ever discussed Louise and her role in my canonverse before 👀 So I don’t have any fics to share, sorry! It could be due to the fact that the HC changed a few times along the way 😅

Before I settled on the canon endgame for E&T, I had a couple of different ideas that were messier (just like life itself) and less conventional. But I decided to go for the scenario that comforted me the most: our past and the mistakes of our parents don’t define us and even the most damaged individuals are capable of breaking the pattern. I picked this direction because I wanted to give Ethan and Tiffany the kind of love and warmth they didn’t have growing up. I’m embracing hope through Ted Lasso’s idea of rom-communism ksbskbsk However, it’s important to acknowledge that healing takes different forms and there are many ways to approach it! 

Now, let me elaborate on my take on Ethan and Louise…Or do not let me, I can never shut up lol

Ethan was very conflicted. On the one hand, he despised her and what she did to him and Alan, he didn’t see the point of their reconciliation. He didn’t want to reopen old wounds and was afraid that his father might get hurt again. That he might get hurt again, inevitably dragging Tiffany down and breaking her heart. On the other, though Louise was a complete stranger to him, she was still his mother, someone he used to care about more than anything in the world, and deep inside his long-drawn-out rage and pain there was some basic human compassion. Eventually, he realized that her decision to leave was actually the best gift she could offer given her issues, the necessary evil so to speak.

As a doctor, he obviously recognizes addiction as a chronic condition that needs to be managed and resolved through a highly personalized medical treatment. He was willing to ensure her medical assistance, but would it be possible with zero involvement? Was he ready to open the door and accept her apology? 

Ethan relied on Tiffany’s generous support and advice. Her insight was particularly important to him—her mother-daughter relationship has always been a sort of psychological Cold War, so she could certainly relate to the complexity of the situation. She encouraged him to embrace the emotions swirling inside and focus on what’s best for him. Even if Louise didn’t deserve forgiveness, it was essential to his own healing: he could finally truly move on and allow himself to be free of the burden he carried for years. She reminded him that he deserves a peace of mind and no one will find it for him—he’s not a helpless child anymore and he’s in charge of his own life. With Tiffany’s limitless patience and love guiding him through the mess in his head, Ethan gathered his strength and faced the emotional challenge. 

After serious consideration, Ethan chose to forgive his mother. Even though he had every reason to cut her off for good, every right to be selfish and unforgiving, he picked the more difficult road of sympathy, proving that he’s actually nothing like Louise—they may share a few personality traits, but he’s so much more than a bitter conclusion to a broken past.

But of course, just like he said in the playthrough, it didn’t mean that things were suddenly okay between them—quite the contrary. I don’t think that they would ever come close to forming any kind of deeper bond. Still, they keep in touch and check on each other every few weeks. As long as Louise sticks to her recovery journey, Ethan makes an effort and allows her to be a part of his life to a small extent he’s comfortable with. Not for long though: I imagine that she’s going to die rather young, soon after E&T’s middle child Letty is born.

#Q #ethan ramsey #louise ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #i didn't proofread this

[crymeariveronceagain]

maybe Linh didn’t know how at the time, and so when she learned how to move water the way u hc, the damage was already done? another take: Dex makes hearing aids for her that translate? the sound of water into words and sounds and omg she can *finally hear her brothers voice* after so *long* and his voice is deeper than she’d imagined, and it’s the embodiment of safety and warmth and love and her *friends’ voices* and her familys’ voices and she can hear and things make *noise* njust ahhh -t1sb

ASFJKASHFLKASFHLASFHDSLFHDSLFDSHFHSDFLKSAhfIEWOFHERGWERUWHROWU#RH

THE DEX THING HAS KILLED ME OKAY IM WRITING THIS GIMME A MINUTE

.

Dex had mentioned he could make her hearing aids for the first time at least five months ago. Linh had gone quiet.

Well, she was always quiet, a soft presence that couldn't be deterred or removed, just existed. She knew how to exist. It was a skill, Dex thought, that few had. Most people have to do something, to fill in the space they take up with words or movements or noise or tapping. Most people are uncomfortable in silence. Most people have to avoid lulls in conversation. Linh never did, but then again, no silence she curated was ever awkward. It was just quiet.

She looked at him, seeming to wonder if he was joking. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice halting and unsure. "I don't think I understood you right."

He said it again, making sure to face her so she could read his lips. He still didn't know the sign language she and her brother had come up with. It wasn't any kind that was recorded, Dex had checked. And checked again. "I could make you hearing aids. So you could hear again."

She blinked, her gray eyes wide and startled. "You don't have to."

He smiled. "I know."

She looked around, and water from the air formed itself into a chain of bubbles and circled around her wrist, slowly, like a snake, coiling around her like it belonged to her, always had. "Will it be a lot of work?"

"No," Dex partially lied. No technological feat was hard for him, so to speak, but this would take quite a bit of work. To convince metal to hear in a way that living creatures could understand would be difficult, but he knew it was completely possible. He just had never tried it before.

Linh bit her lip, and dragged her fingers through her long dark hair. Then she smiled at him. "If you'd like," she said, "You can."

Dex had been working on them since. He wanted them to be perfect.

Linh deserved being able to hear. Linh deserved hearing aids that worked.

He didn't want to let her down.

Dex and Linh weren't even that close, so why he'd offered to do this was beyond him. Dex was friends more with Biana and Stina and Jensi, he hung out with the boys on the weekends and bothered the crap out of Marella. But the Song twins were something different.

He never knew how to act around them. They'd walked into the group terrified, and he'd judged them for it. He'd seen Tam's raging temper, his jumpy, terrified accusations aimed at Keefe and the demand to read their shadow vapor, and assumed Tam was a nasty person.

It was only after seeing Tam break down in tears one afternoon at Everglen that Dex had realized that just like everyone else in their little friendgroup, Tam had a persona, and he was about as broken as Fitz and Keefe. Dex was the only boy in the main group who was actually moderately mentally stable. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

He'd made assumptions about Linh, too, in the beginning. He'd seen Linh's soft silence and assumed she was just Tam's tag-along puppy-esque sister. Someone who could be pushed into anything, convinced of anything, told to do anything and would.

And then, of course, she saved an underwater city that according to her she'd already ruined once. She held back an ocean, the force of more than a hurricane, with her own two hands, and walked away with hairline fractures along her bones from holding back a weight that only she could grasp. She'd saved them all.

She barely knew them, and without a second thought, she'd rushed to their defense.

He found out later that she was quiet because she couldn't hear them.

And like that, he'd started researching.

The Lost Cities, Elwin had told him, didn't deal with people who couldn't hear. The medic's eyes had looked sad as he'd told Dex that no one had ever really bothered to care about people who couldn't hear.

Dex's mind had glitched, in a way that reminded him of an angry videogame character. "What?"

"There's just been no studies done on hearing loss, and no one wants to trust Forbidden Cities tech."

So, when Dex started building Linh's hearing aids, he had nothing to go off. But he didn't care.

The girl who saved an entire city deserved all the effort he could put in. She'd saved so many people.

And Dex kept working.

----***----

The world was quiet.

It hadn't always been.

Linh could remember sounds. Sort of. They were fading memories, like rocks worn away for thousands of years by the endless rush of water. She could remember all the bad sounds. Her mother's voice as she spit at her, telling her that she was never going to be good enough, that she should just stop trying.

She could remember her father's voice as he told her to stay in her room and not make any noise. She remember the clicking noise of the lock, the way it had echoed around in her brain. She remembered the crash of a glass against the wall behind her, and the sound of her own shaky breathing.

She couldn't remember her brother's voice. She'd never told him that. She didn't want him to think she didn't care. She did. She just couldn't remember.

And she'd tried. She'd tried so hard.

Instead, all she could hear was water.

The water in her veins, the water in the air. The water in the ocean. The water in the sky, on the path, in the trees, the plants.

She could hear nothing.

But she could still, somehow, hear the ever-encompassing, ever-screaming, ever-singing, ever-violent voices of the water.

She wouldn't know how to say what it said out loud. She wouldn't know how to translate the words into Enlightened. She wouldn't have a thing to say.

The water didn't speak in words.

But what it said filled her entire body, made her want to shut it off.

There was no escaping water.

There is always water, even if it is in your very bloodstream.

And so Linh accepted her fate.

She wondered to herself, one afternoon, as she walked around the garden, did she even speak Enlightened, anymore?

What if she only spoke in the water. What if she didn't say the right things?

She forced the thought out of her head, and knelt by one of her favorite plants, pushing water through it's system. It was basil. Her brother was partial to the flowers, and had told her that if she wanted to water them, she could, but he liked to do it a lot.

She thought it was an oddly domestic thing for her brother to enjoy. Tam was so rough around the edges, sharp and unforgiving, that if she hadn't seen him humming as he watered and weeded his flower garden, she'd have assumed that it was a joke.

Instead, she scattered water about her herb garden, pooling it in all the right places for the plant to absorb it.

The water whispered something about how it had choked someone to death before.

Linh ignored it.

The water wanted to choke someone again.

Linh forcefully ignored it.

She walked over to her koi pond, and sat at the edge. Her fish had been a birthday gift from Tiergan, and he had kissed her forehead.

She smiled at the memory, and pulled out her fish food.

The big golden fish swam up to the top, and she fed them, carefully.

Then, she watched them swim, leaning over the pool of water that whispered of rain on bloodied streets, instead of hurricane cities, as it usually did.

The quiet hum of the pool was easily ignored, and she'd had a life's long practice of ignoring it. The air was cool and soft on her skin, and her hair ruffled from the gentle breeze.

For a second, she allowed her mind to wander. In a million years, she thought to herself, she'd never have guessed she'd wind up here.

She'd killed people, she thought, almost lackadaisically, she shouldn't have wound up here. Exilium was the best place for her, and everyone like her.

But she was here, warmed by sunshine, in the backyard of Solreef, feeling entirely alive.

She smiled.

From her pocket, her imparter buzzed.

She pulled it out, and saw that she had a text. It was from Dex.

She blinked at it, almost startled. Dex never texted her. She glanced up at the clear blue sky, and then back down to her imparter.

The text read:

Hey, Linh! I finished your hearing aids! If you want, I can come over so you can try them!

Just like that, Linh jolted to her feet.

Her heart pounded in a way that felt like thuds at the base of her neck, right at her throat.

Her fingers shook as she typed back the only response that didn't come from the water-scented screeches of her mind.

Sure, Dex!

And she bolted to her feet, brushing off her medium-length skirt, and she tucked her hair behind her ears. She ran up into her brother's room, and knocked on the door so much that it rattled in its frame.

Tam opened the door, his eyes wide. He signed to her, What's going on?

Linh didn't know what to say. Her hands were excited, and she did her best, Dex is coming over! He has a surprise!

Tam blinked. Dex never comes over.

I know! This is for a surprise! Come downstairs! And get Tiergan!

Tam shrugged, nodded, and then went to go get their dad.

Linh rushed downstairs to see the light above the door blinking. She threw it open in a rush and there stood Dex. She smiled.

"Hi, Linh," he said, his lips moving clearly enough that she understood.

She was sure her voice had to be raspy. She hadn't needed to say anything all day. "Hi," she answered.

"I've got the Hearing Aids," he said, and she led him into the living room.

"Alright." he pulled out the box from his bag, and lifted out two very strange looking contraptions. "This part goes over the pack of your ear, and this part goes in it," he said.

She blinked, unsure of what that was supposed to mean. In her defense, she didn't know a lot about ears. "What?"

"Do you want me to show you?"

She nodded.

And then realized when she'd seen pack, he'd meant back.

He then handed them to her. She looked at them, for a long, long, long moment.

"Are they turned on?"

Dex shook his head.

She swallowed, and then put them on.

"Alright," he said, "They fit. Nice. I was a little worried I hadn't gotten the right measurements."

Linh felt slightly sick. What if these didn't work? What if it was pointless?

Like, she was absolutely fine not being able to hear. There was nothing that she couldn't do. There was nothing wrong with not being able to hear. There really wasn't. Why was she doing this again? There was no point. She was just fine without it.

Dex fiddled with it. "I couldn't get space on them for an on-off button, and a volume button, and the automatic selection shift, so that it changes if you're in a big group versus in a one-on-one conversation, so they just start up when you close the battery drawer."

Linh nodded, hoping she understood what he'd been saying, since the words had started moving faster and less annunciated.

Panic was slowly filling her chest like water filling up a bucket. She wasn't the type to get scared. She'd seen so many terrifying things that terror wasn't terror anymore. Terror was just life.

But this?

Dex clicked the battery drawer shut on the second one.

This was petrifying.

"I really hope these work right," he said.

She nodded, swallowing her pride and fear and terror and the need to bolt up to her bedroom and stay there.

Dex held them out to her, one at a time.

Nothing much changed.

Water didn't become louder, the hum in the air stayed there, soft and deathly. She started grouping the molecules into droplets and noticed she had at least three chains of droplets hovering around her wrist.

"Okay," Dex said.

Linh's entire body froze.

The water droplet chains fell to the floor with a splash.

Her eyes went wide.

"How's that?"

Linh swallowed, heavily. "I can hear you," she answered, very, very, very softly.

She could tell what volume her own voice was at.

Dex's face lit up. He nodded, once. "Does it hurt, at all?" His voice was soft, too.

She shook her head. "No," she said, softly, feeling like she was being washed over with sound like it was a tidal wave, "Not at all."

She'd forgotten the sound of her own voice. It was a lot softer, and a little different than what she remembered.

She didn't care.

One thought, and one thought alone filled her head.

She shot Dex the most grateful smile, and he smiled back just as wide.

Her fingers twitched, and she said, "I'm going to go find my family."

Dex nodded. "Want me to come with?"

She shrugged. "If you want."

He grinned all the wider.

Linh walked up the stairs, to where Tam, Wylie, and Tiergan were all talking. She moved quietly.

"Mr. Forkle," Tiergan said, his voice like a rumble from a cloud. Linh was stuck by how different his voice was than she'd expected. She'd expected light. She'd expected something like her own father's voice, higher-pitched, but demanding. Cold. Icy. Instead, Tiergan's voice was like a grumbly thundercloud come to life, a big sleepy grizzly bear woken up and asked about battle plans. She wanted to shriek and run into his arms. She didn't. "Is not going to listen to my excuses. I need to finish this."

"Come on, Dad," Wylie said, and Linh blinked at him, her eyes wide. His voice was different, too. It wasn't a kid's voice, it was like an adult boy had just gotten his voice changed, crackled along the edges but still bright and sharp enough to be young. Wylie's voice had a bit of a pleading tone to it, something extra that reminded her of sarcasm and sitting next to her brother on the floor. "Leave it, for just a minute. Linh's got a surprise."

"I need, need, need to finish this," Tiergan said, and Linh forced herself to not rush forwards and give him a hug. "Either we wait or you two go first."

"Why do I even bother," Tam said. Linh's whole body froze again. "Stick with your stupid terrorist organizational work. Not as important as whatever Linh and Dex are up to, I'm sure of it."

And he turned around.

He froze.

Linh had her hands clapped over her mouth.

Tears were streaming down her face, whispering salty ocean horror stories.

Instantly, Tam signed, What's wrong?!

Linh shook her head. "Nothing's wrong," she said, her voice shaking. "I just forgot what your voice sounded like."

Tam blinked, long and hard. Wylie blinked, long and hard. Tiergan blinked, where he sat, at his desk.

"What?" Wylie said.

Linh took a step forward, smiling so wide that her cheeks hurt. "I forgot what your voice sounded like, Tam," she said, softly. "It's so beautiful."

Tam just stared at her.

She stared back, and said, "Tiergan sounds like a grumbly thundercloud. Wylie sounds like a movie star. But you?"

She was grinning so hard she knew Tam was terrified. She hadn't smiled this hard in months.

"Tam, you sound like my brother."

Tam made a noise, somewhere in the vicinity of his throat, and said, softly, slowly, and so achingly broken that every single part of her heart ached. "You can hear me?"

"Yeah," she answered. "Dex made me hearing aids."

Tam was silent, again.

"Holy Stars," Tiergan said, softly.

"Holy shit," Wylie said, and Tiergan whacked him on the arm, gently. Wylie rolled his eyes at his dad.

Tam just stood there, stunned.

"Are you okay?" Linh asked, finally.

Tam nodded, looking like he wasn't. "I'm gonna cry pretty hard soon."

She smiled, softly. "I did that, already."

"Holy shit," Tam breathed. "I love you."

Linh froze, hearing the words right down to her soul for the first time in years.

Ever since she'd ruined everything with a splash of water. She'd never heard those three words since. They had been out of reach. A gift for someone other than her. Sure, Tam had signed it to her, and said it to her, and she'd seen it on people's lips.

But these words shook the very ground she stood on with love.

She wanted, no, needed to hear them again.

"Wh...what?" she asked.

"I love you," Tam said, fiercely. "I love you, Linh. I love you, I love you, I love you."

And he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her close to him, saying it, over and over and over.

Until she couldn't forget them. Until her heart was made whole. Until she couldn't erase them, couldn't forget the way her brother sounded. Until her eyes squeezed tight because she didn't think she could handle the three tiny little words anymore.

She didn't think she could handle hearing him say the three words that Linh had thought that she would never hear again.

#linh song #dex dizznee #kotlc #thanks for the ask! #kotlc headcanon #kotlc headcanons #kotlc fic #kotlc linh #tam song #kotlc tam #tam and linh #song twins #kotlc dex #dex is the cure to toxic masculinity ngl to y'all #tiergan alenefar #kotlc tiergan #kotlc tiergan alenefar #kotlc tiergan is a dad #omg so much love #hoh linh song #hard of hearing character #deaf character #deaf linh song #feel free to correct me #im not 100% on what im doing here #so #anyone who has other insights #pls feel free to correct me on anything i got wrong! i will definitely take it to heart or fix it if need be! #kotlc wylie #wylie endal

[asakiyumemishiii]

!!!WARNING!!! - TLOU spoilers 4 both part 1 n 2 - i also get a bit NSFW when i talk about Joel at times (MINORS DNI THOSE 2 PARA!! THERE’S A WARNING WHEN I START <3) - nothing i'm saying is new. i have no original thoughts!! literally just a post about everything i felt while watching the game ~(>_<。)

the whole reason i got in2 TLOU was ‘cus that one, 'Remember, when you're lost in the darkness, look for the light,' audio on TikTok was trending n everyone was like, 'omg TLOU audio!!' n i was like ??? what is TLOU ??? n then it just all went downhill from there. TLOU has consumed my life in its entirety since the start of July. what a cute coincidence that i get in2 TLOU on the game’s 10th anniversary ヾ(≧▽≦*)o anyway TLOU talk time :3333

DISCLAIMER: i didn't play the game myself ‘cus i don't have any type of console (n i don't play video games) so i watched MKIcenFire's gameplay of the TLOU Remake on PS5 n it was like 12 hours long i think n i watched it twice. then i watched the HBO show, then i watched the same guy play TLOU2. okay anyway i know the game well enough (I HOPE!! I THINK!!) also i read Reddit posts about the game's ending in p2 ‘cus i think other people’s take on it is soooo fun 2 read. if anything i say here is straight up just the wrong take like just ‘cus i'm stupid or missed the point of something, do NOT tell me ‘cus i will start crying immediately but tbh i will probably also not care sorry.

okay so,,,the whole game??? is a masterpiece??? plot-wise n visuals n MUSIC n characters???????????? EVERYTHING IS SO WELL WRITTEN ARGDHFHSHS i loved it. i'm not a gamer btw like the only 'games' i play are Taiko no Tatsujin (PC) n i watched people play undertale but that's it i guess so i don’t have anything 2 compare TLOU 2 but omg it's so good 2 me just as it is AHHHHH.

i'm so bad at being coherent. <///3

anyway everything i'm about 2 say is not going 2 be anything that hasn't already been said but i need an OUTLET!!! i think the game is so fun n maybe it's my own insane raging daddy issues but watching the Ellie (cargo) 2 Ellie (babygirl) pipeline was SO healing 2 me (n also absolutely devastating) like HOLY SHIT HE'S JUST A FATHER 4 READ!1!1!

okay gonna talk right now about how i feel about Joel n Abby ‘cus i have the most opinions about them `(*>﹏<*)′

i know TLOU1 is like Moral Dilemma the game but like i just think it's so simple really. Joel did what he did ‘cus Ellie became someone he really cares about. IMO he never really stopped being a father so Ellie just becomes his youngest daughter n a father's love knows no bounds, doesn't it? he quite literally did everything in his power 2 make sure no one would hurt his own n i think that's so... insane,,, (i wish dads were real)

i don't understand people who hate on Joel like actually *hate* him with their whole life. if they hate him ‘cus of what he used 2 do (being a hunter, etc…) then like,, that's stupid ‘cus he had 2 do what he had 2 do 2 survive. n maybe at the time that was the only way he knew how 2. he's a bad guy ‘cus he did bad guy things (like henry said) but that doesn't necessarily mean he's not a good guy or that he can't redeem himself i don’t know it just seems weird 2 not like him ‘cus of what he used 2 do that we didn't even explicitly see, n was only stated. also i get that people hate him ‘cus of what he did ‘cus like, yeah, i get it, he DID take away Ellie's right 2 'save' the world n he took her out of there without her consent BUT she's also a minor (yes i know laws don't matter but you know,, it's the principle of it i don’t know) n he decided 2 make the choice 4 her ‘cus she obviously couldn't do it herself n i think it was the right choice. also the fireflies didn't give her an option either like damn they couldn't at least ask her if she wanted 2 like say goodbye 2 Joel i don’t know like yeah ik in p2 she said she would have wanted 2 die 4 the cure but like she wasn't even told that making it would entail her dying ‘cus she explicitly stated that she wants 2 follow Joel after everything was over, so like,, yeah Joel took her choice away 2 save her life but the fireflies were going 2 force her 2 die 4 a cure that they themselves weren't even 100% sure would work. n 4 what??? she's the only immune person alive as far as they know n they won't even do SOME kind of tests first ON ELLIE 2 find shit out like i don’t know it seems kinda pointless 2 just kill her like that just 4 a chance of a vaccine. i know Dr Anderson did SOME testing b4 n a lot of research like we can see all the scans when he was talking 2 Marlene in p2 but did he do any testing on Ellie herself? i don’t know. ik all this what-ifs don't even matter n i'm just trying 2 justify Joel's actions but it's the thoughts i have hhhh like let's say the vaccine does get made... who is going 2 ensure that everyone gets a fair chance 2 have it? you're telling me FEDRA or the fireflies are gonna distribute it or something like that?? like it's not possible. also how would they get the vaccine 2 everyone in the world?? n like you think the raiders or hunters are gonna care that they're vaccinated n suddenly be good again? they're just gonna be better at murdering n like also what about all the infected. there's way 2 many of them. sure with a vaccine, lives would have been better but they're still living in a post-apocalyptic world, n more people are going 2 die than be saved n i like 2 imagine that Joel knew all this (maybe) n he chose Ellie anyway.

actually i don’t care i like 2 think he immediately stopped thinking when Marlene said they have 2 kill Ellie 2 make a 'cure' n he just didn't care about anything else anymore. yeah that fits better in my head !!

this text post is all over the place anyway uhmm Abby time.

i'm gonna put it out there right now: i do NOT fuck with her at all. also let's normalise understanding a character, all their motifs n everything n still being able 2 dislike them. i hate people who are like 'oh if you dislike/hate Abby then you obviously don't understand her character' LIKE???? yes, i understand her??? her character is literally a parallel 2 Ellie's. Abby's redemption mirrors Ellie's damnation. 'you can't get mad at Abby 4 killing Joel when he killed her father.' like shut up yes i can?? in fact here i am getting mad right now. it's a cycle that never ends. Joel kills Jerry, Abby kills Joel, Ellie kills Abby's friends while searching 4 her 2 get revenge, Abby kills Ellie's friends ‘cus Ellie killed hers, n it just continues. they're both doing 2 each other the exact same thing each of them are doing 2 the other. their motivations behind all their actions are literally the same. i get it. if one side starts, the other doesn't stop. they're literally 2 sides of the same coin, i get it. i totally understand why Abby did what she did. but that DOESN'T mean i have 2 like her??? Abby dick riders getting mad n pissy when ppl don't like her as if she's not the literal antagonist of TLOU2 when you play as Ellie. she's the other playable protagonist when you play as her obviously but when it's Ellie's pov, she's obviously the villain ?? just like how Ellie is the antagonist when you play as Abby??? or at least they're both the anti-hero,, maybe,, in each other's storyline. anyway i don't care 4 Abby. i understand her character but i still dislike her. 'you only hate her ‘cus she killed Joel!' yeah… exactly. i also am aware that as someone who is insane about Joel, i am being hypocritical right now ‘cus the people who hate Joel are probably the same people who like Abby n vice versa. anyway moving on. i also don't particularly understand why people say hating Abby = hating Ellie. like yeah they're extremely similar but like,, we played around 15 hours of TLOU1 like obviously i have a stronger emotional connection with Ellie n Joel??? is that a superficial reason 2 dislike Abby?? yes but i don’t care!!! i do not fuck with her at all!!! yes i understand that Abby has gone through things that deserve sympathy/empathy 2, but like... i'm still inclined 2 be more biased about Ellie n Joel though... also like Abby told her dad that she would want him 2 do the surgery on her but i think it's easy 2 say that when you're not the one actually doing it. like we all would probably say we don't mind dying 4 a good ‘cus until we actually have 2 die n it's like,,, I DON’T KNOW like it just seems so simple 4 her 2 say she would die 4 the vaccine but she's only saying it 2 make her dad feel better n ‘cus she's not the one actually going through with it you know???? rhfjdjfjjdhh i don’t know i hope so far i'm making sense. also Dr Anderson never answered Marlene when she asked if he would do the surgery on Abby, which is an answer in itself, n that's soooo hypocritical of him 4 real sigh

okay i think that's all the character opinions i have (probably i don’t know) now i'm gonna talk about the scenes that drive me CRAZY

UHMMM THE 'you're not my daughter, and i sure as hell ain't your dad.' OH MY GOD??? the first time i saw it i paused n almost threw up ‘cus if someone i thought was a father figure, or just like the first adult that didn't disappoint me in my life since i came out of the womb, said that 2 me when i am quite literally begging them not 2 abandon me, i would simply just drop dead n die n you would never hear from me again. THE UP N DOWN GLANCE HE GIVES ELLIE LIKE HE'S SIZING HER UP 2 B4 HE SAYS IT????? Ellie is better than me 4 real ‘cus i would never forgive him 4 that (lying, i would forgive him if he stabbed me 4 fun) like holy shit he hit her where it HURT. yes i know he did it ‘cus he was scared that he already got so attached 2 her but JEEZ MAN that's BRUTAL. the way her eyes LITERALLY drop n you can see every miniscule detail on her face detailing how HURT she felt when he said that... graphics were INSANE

GOING FROM THAT 2 THE 'oh babygirl...' SCENE??????????? WHIPLASH IS REAL BYE. ofc not 2 push aside everything that happens in between ‘cus Ellie fought like hell 2 keep Joel alive. ARGHHHH she never left him even when he asked her 2 n even when he wanted 2 leave her first, she never gave up on him :((( they care about each other SO MUCH i'm going 2 be SICK. right okay, the babygirl scene??? it felt like my heart was being healed from all the angst 4 real. the way his face is SO soft when he's trying 2 get her back 2 him like OH MY GOD also the fact that there's dialogue but no subtitles or voiceover so it's up 2 the audience's intepretation 2 tell us what Joel says 2 her when he's CRADLING her face is so fucked up. ‘cus i know some people think he's saying 'i'll promise i'll never leave you again' n some think he's saying 'i promise i'll never let anyone hurt you again' n TBH EITHER WAY, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT 4 REAL LIKE TBH I'M GLAD LOWKEY THERE WASN'T ANY VOICEOVER ‘CUS I WOULD NEVER STOP REPLAYING IT. BUT I WISH THERE WAS A CONFIRMATION OF WHAT HE SAID. THE WAY ELLIE'S EYES GLAZED OVER N JOEL JUST KEEPS HOLDING ON 2 HER N MAKES SURE SHE'S LOOKING DIRECTLY AT HIM WHEN HE'S COMFORTING HER??? i cannot fathom being loved that much, like it's actually UNREAL 2 me.

okay here's where it gets NSFW a bit so MINORS DNI this paragraph PLEASE thanks!! anyway i have a woman hard on 4 Joel the second he was introduced. yes i have daddy issues, next question. anyway he's SO fucking fine n he's a good father so double smash. everytime he came on2 screen, so did i. uhm the scene where Joel is torturing david's men, i replayed it 8347345 times n tbh with one hand 2 (/hj) n LIKE.. Joel beating a bloater with JUST a MACHETE like yes the bloater alrdy took some damage b4 but HOLY SHIT that scene was hot. Joel was always constantly hot n the creators KNEW what they were doing when they designed him... like that,, n gave him THOSE voice lines,, search Joel Miller voice lines on YT n just close your eyes bro that shit is straight up P*RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely think he's so attractive. i would let him do the most atrocious heinous filthy things 2 me. you CANNOT leave me alone with him ‘cus i would not let him out. i would find a way 2 mesh our bodies tgt (☆▽☆) he's genuinely so handsome n fine!! i literally want 2 stick a straw in his tip n suck his milk. i am so sorry 4 making anyone read that but i mean it unfortunately. if i was in TLOU i couldnt be trusted 2 patrol with Joel ‘cus he would probably kill something or someone 4 my sake n brush it off as nothing n then i would tackle him n start sucking n fucking him so good like we would not make it back 2 base. we're going twenty rounds with no breaks. the only break he'll be doing is breaking my back n splitting my pu$$y in half with his massive cock.

OKAY ENOUGH

Ellie's 15th birthday :( i'm a space kid so it just hits SO hard,, like everything he did 4 her. the dinosaurs n the planets. the way this part was only like.. i don’t know less than one hour of the whole game n it was the happiest part of the game imo (uhm Dina n Ellie n JJ are bittersweet 2 me OKAY!!) THE WAY THEY TEASE N BANTER N LIKE ARE GENUINELY SO ADORING WITH EACH OTHER. Joel pushing her in2 the water n jumping in 4 her when she asks. JOEL FINDING HER THE COUNTDOWN TAPE. HOW FUCKING HARD DO YOU THINK THAT WAS HUH? ASKING IF HE DID OKAY??? HE'S LITERALLY SO FUCKING SWEET!!!! HE'S JUST A FATHER WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER BRO PLEASE GOD LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! THE WAY HE WAS SMILING SO SOFTLY AT HER IN THE SPACESHIP??? HE WAS WATCHING EVERY LITTLE DETAIL 2MAKE SURE SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY.. THE WAY HE BARELY EVEN SMILES IN THE GAME N DURING THIS SCENE HE WAS FUCKING GRINNING BRO OH MY GOD. he literally gave her the moon, stars, n the planets :( they deserved 2 be happy man i fucking HATE TLOU2 HHH they could have had so much together HNGDHFHH Joel didn't even get 2 meet JJ :(

please b4 you come at me with the 'Abby deserved happiness with her father too!' just save it man. i don't care n i don't wanna hear about it like DNI with this post if thats all you wanna say <;3

Joel's death. i knew he was going 2 die but like when i was watching p2 i didn't think it was going 2 happen THAT fast. never cried so hard (lying) 4 real he didn't deserve all that. okay he did (i guess, whatever...) but that shit was cruel n 2 do it in front of Ellie 2... man,, Ashley Johnson needs every award 4 the voice acting in that scene,,, holy shit was it so painful 2 watch 4 FUCKING READ. n the aftermath like when i saw Ellie taking Joel's jacket, my mind immediately went 2 Harry Styles' Cherry where he said, 'i noticed that // there's a piece of you in how i dress,' :( THE WAY SHE BURIES HER FACE IN HIS FABRIC LIKE SHE'S BREATHING HIM IN 4 THE LAST TIME... THE FLOWERS IN FRONT OF HIS HOUSE, THE BLUE HYDRANGEAS SHE LEAVES AT HIS GRAVE SYMBOLISING FORGIVENESS n REGRET ,, THE PIC OF SARAH N  ELLIE ON HIS TABLE :( THE BROCHURE FROM THE DINOSAUR EXHIBITION THAT HE KEPT :( THE WOLF (WLF) N THE MOOSE (JOEL -> PROTECTOR) MOTIF :((( GOD THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING TRAGIC I HATE IT SM literally crying so hard right now. the way Joel’s death was so trauma inducing 4 Ellie that during her breakdown, in her flashback, she recalls what happened n it was so much worse than what actually happened. the stairway being longer n the way she falsely remembers Joel calling out her name n begging 4 help n the way she kept pleading 2 stop??????? i literally hate everything. THE FACT THAT SHE WAS HOLDING JJ ALL THE WHILE 2??? PLEASE MAN,,, WE 4 REAL CAN’T HAVE SHIT!!! ALSO the way the game just literally lost it’s colour after Joel dies like the colours got all muted/ desaturated n all the nature/wonderment we used 2 see in TLOU1 just like disappeared after Joel dies,, mirroring Ellie’s emotions/ state of being BYE that’s so genius i don’t care if it’s obvious HHH it’s such a neat little detail 2 notice.

the scene right before they find the hospital n Joel is holding Ellie’s limp body n he’s frantically, desperately trying 2 see if she’s breathing n he realises she isn’t n the fucking ice cold water i KNOW he feels running down his spine ‘cus the scene is becoming 2 familiar again,, he knows he could never live with himself if he fails another one of his girls… the way he’s just giving her chest compressions even when he could have been shot at any moment n it’s just a perfect bittersweet parallel 2 Sarah’s death GOD he loves his daughters SO fucking much. a father’s love is something i’ll never comprehend or experience ever GOD.

'if somehow, the Lord gave me a second chance at that moment, i would do it all over again.' if someone said that 2 me i would literally start throwing up (but /pos). the fact that Ellie JUST decided 2 try n forgive him n then he just dies... ND kys why would you do that 2 me. Joel could have said something like 'i regret doing what i did,' or 'i'm sorry,' but instead he says he would do it all over again, not knowing how Ellie would react like she's already so angry at him n he doesn't even hesitate 2 say all that even though he knows it could set her off. he stands firm that what he did was right ‘cus 2 him, he would rather have Ellie alive n hating his guts 4 the rest of his life no matter how much that hurts rather than her being killed 4 a world that was beyond saving anyway n that is so insane 2 me 4 real. 2 be loved that deeply that he would damn the whole world just 4 his daughter. please don't talk 2 me. he does not care if she hates him 4 real he just wants her alive n that's SO!!! he's just a dad who loves his little girl :(( n in TLOU2 Ellie, at the heart of it all, is just a little girl who misses her dad :((( i hate this game. ALSO the detail in this scene is CRAZY, you can literally see Joel's lip quivering minisculely n his eyebrow is twitching n he's literally holding back tears BRO GOD he loves Ellie sm n ARGHFJDHS the way after that scene Ellie gets woken up by Jesse the next day n she tells him she overslept but every other time b4 or after the INCIDENT she never has a good night of sleep. DIE.

i don’t really know how i feel about the ending of TLOU2. it’s angsty n all but the boat image being no longer in the dark means that there’s hope 4 Ellie 2 like become better or something like that right? yeah i don’t know i just wish there were more scenes of her with Joel, n Dina (i can never get enough okay) but in all seriousness, despite how many times i’ve said i hate TLOU2 i do think it was a good story. imo tlou1 was great n didn’t necessarily NEED a sequel (stfu let Ellie stay 14 4ever HHHH) but i liked it anyway. i wanna know what happens with Tommy n Maria though, like are they separated separated or does Tommy find a way past his hatred n back 2 her??? n what happens 2 Dina n JJ?? are they okay? does Dina tell him about Ellie n Jesse? oh man i miss Jesse :( he would have made such a good n cool co-parent. ARGHHHDDJ low-key wish i could break in2 the creators’ home n demand these answers {{{(>_<)}}}

hmm some miscellaneous thoughts:

ELLIE IS SOOOOO WOULD’VE, COULD’VE, SHOULD’VE CODED BRO YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.  ‘AND IF I WAS A CHILD, DID IT MATTER? IF YOU GOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS’ n ‘IF YOU NEVER TOUCHED ME, I WOULD’VE GONE ALONG WITH THE RIGHTEOUS’ HELLO???????? literally her entire arc w/ D*vid LIKE that scene where was hunting her was SO scary,, it was scarier than having 2 watch Abby make out with Owen.  [All I used to do was pray // Would've, could've, should've // If you'd never looked my way] how many times do you think Ellie regretted the moment she decided 2 follow D*vid n his friend 4 the medicine. wait- no like not that she regretted trading 4 the meds ‘cus i feel like she would’ve done it again 4 Joel but like she probably would do it safer n less trusting I DON’T KNOW like i bet she feels INSANE thinking about all the ‘what-ifs’ if she never followed D*vid sigh i’m so bad at voicing my thoughts jesus how did i ever score an A 4 my lit analysis when i was in secondary school,, the brain is 4 real crazy. ANYWAY. 

THE BRIDGE??? ‘If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?’ despite already killing D*vid brutally, she’s forever haunted by the trauma it caused n i know she feels like she should just get over it already but she literally can’t ‘cus that was the moment she really killed killed n he tried 2 ruin her n i bet she would do it again but she hates that she probably liked killing him but she’s so right,, Ellie i would do it again n again 2 bae dw. ‘Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts // GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD IT WAS MINE FIRST’ oh my God… bro,, give her back her girlhood it was hers first 4 fucking real. she never really had girlhood 2 begin with,, FEDRA definitely was shit 2 her, she lost Riley when she disappeared then she lost Riley again when she died then D*vid happens n it’s like,, give her a fucking break jfc bro she never really got 2 be just a girl, or even a child, i don’t know where i’m going with this but that one line is SO her 4 real she just,, every bad thing that happened 2 her was never her fault or deserved like everything that was taken away from her… give it back GIVE IT BACK return everything n everyone that was taken from her bro that’s so fucked. okay the chorus n outro uhm,, ‘And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven’ the satisfaction of killing D*vid is definitely this line, n maybe also everyone she killed while avenging Joel (maybe, but probably not ‘cus i don’t think she liked how violent she became) maybe the pain of her survivor’s guilt was heaven 2 ‘cus it meant she got 2 meet Dina n Jesse n spend more time with Joel 2. ‘And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts // Memories feel like weapons // And now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering’ LAST LINE IS HER TALKING ABOUT KNOWING THE TRUTH 4 REAL. ‘MEMORIES FEEL LIKE WEAPONS’ Ellie’s PTSD is strong in this one 3:

‘God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be’ Ellie when she had 2 kill her inner child n went on a rampage 2 avenge Joel. Ellie when she learnt the truth n had 2 live with her survivor’s guilt. Ellie when her relationship with Joel got strained n tense not like it used 2 be. Ellie when she lost herself 4 real.  ‘The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind // I regret you all the time // I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep // The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign // I regret you all the time’ literally her relationship with Joel isn’t it?? she lowkey regrets that she met him (IN A WAY) ‘cus he took her choice away 4 her life 2 have meant something n like i know she tries 2 forgive him (n eventually does) but like i don’t know i feel like those lines are so her n Joel. ‘I fight with you in my sleep,’ ‘cus she doesn’t really talk 2 Joel right but she definitely can’t fucking sleep right knowing what he did. i think it hurt 2 much 2 look at him so the only time she actually got mad at him was when she wasn’t awake. (hope that made sense `(*>﹏<*)′ i feel like the regret line isn’t so much talking about her relationship with Joel but rather herself, i feel like it resonates more with how she treated Joel, i just know she wished she could have said that she wanted 2 try 2 forgive him MUCH earlier if she knew she wouldn’t have that much time with him left. also Dina, she probably wishes she could find her again at the end. SIGH

ELLIE IS MY TEARS RICOCHET CODED 2!!!!!!!!!!! ‘AND I CAN GO ANYWHERE I WANT // ANYWHERE I WANT // JUST NOT HOME’ LITERALLY HER AT THE END OF THE GAME ‘CUS SHE’S ‘FREE’ NOW BUT WHERE DOES SHE GO? WHERE WILL SHE GO? WHO WILL SHE TURN 2? BYE FUCK OFF WHERE/WHO IS HER HOME ANYMORE. I HATE IT HERE. ‘You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same’ ELLIE WHEN A PART OF HERSELF DIED WHEN JOEL DIED OR LIKE WHEN SHE KILLED A PART OF HERSELF 2 AVENGE JOEL N LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND ARHGDSFGDFSJH ‘You turned into your worst fears // And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain // Crossing out the good years’ Ellie when she literally became someone she never wanted 2 be n drowned in her need 2 get revenge. ‘And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed’ Ellie n Joel. literally it’s just her missing Joel. i hate bitches 4 real.

Dina deserved better. she straight up deserved SO much better than what Ellie gave her. the way Ellie left her alone in the theatre?? the way Dina was up all night helping with the map n i don't even remember if Ellie said thank you or not?? Dina IMMEDIATELY giving her mask 2 Ellie when hers broke??? Dina being with Ellie every step of the way n Ellie leaving when all Dina wanted was 4 her 2 stay??? ‘prove it, stay,’ DINA WAS BEGGING BRO N ELLIE LEFT N MY FUCKING HEART,,, Dina you deserved so much better ily you are so so so hot 2 me.

i don't want 2 think about Yara n Lev :( they loved each other so much n thinking about them makes me so sad. i also don’t want 2 think about how Abby n Lev parallels Joel n Ellie or anything like that, please leave me alone ＞︿＜

Ellie's descent in2 becoming someone so violent was so devastating 2 witness. she literally had 2 sit down n was nauseous the first time she shot someone in p1 n we see her become this mindless (not really ‘cus she gets ptsd) killing machine in p2 is so crazy (she looked so fucking hot doing it though). she literally loses her mind 2 the violence in order 1 avenge Joel ‘cus she loves him that much, its so twisted. ALSO her saying 2 sam that her biggest fear is ending up alone n THEN IN PART 2 SHE ENDS UP ALONE????? ND KYS THAT'S SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING

THIS SONG?????? THE SONG JOEL SANG 2 ELLIE,,,  TROY BAKER’S VOICE SINGING IT??? THE GMV?????? the song is literally about Ellie n Joel (TヘT) ‘If I ever were to lose you // I'd surely lose myself’ WHAT THE FUCK someone pulling my heart out while i was conscious would hurt less. ‘All of my stolen missing parts // I've no need for anymore’ Joel when he found Ellie n recovered the part of him he thought he buried when Sarah Died n how he learns how 2 love again MAN. ‘Back when I was feeling broken // I focused on a prayer // You came deep as the ocean’ both Ellie n Joel were looking (if indirectly maybe) 4 something 2 save them from the darkness, internally or not, n they saved each other. THEY SAVED EACH OTHER- Joel found someone 2 love n cherish, n Ellie found someone who loved n cherished her n didn’t just want her 4 her immunity PLEASE they love each other SO MUCH. ‘All the promises at sundown // I meant them like the rest’ Joel talking about caring 4 Ellie, Ellie talking about how she’ll try 2 forgive joel.  ‘Hey angel, I am here to stay // No resistance, no alarms // Please, this is just too good to be gone’ ANGEL???? kys. Joel really did try 2 stay. he tried so hard 2 fight. the last line being some type of foreshadowing towards his death ‘cus i guess good things really do never last. HE JUST WANTED TIME WITH HIS DAUGHTER OKAY. 

HBO Show time :3

i think the show was really good,, holy shit episode 6 when Joel is sniping n he's making sure Ellie gets out of the place as unscathed as possible?? i was like captivated bro i was watching with my eyes wide open n barely breathing ,,, their performance was so good. loved episode 8 obv the babygirl scene was so healing AGAIN. i don’t know i don't really have that much 2 say about the show after watching the game ‘cus like essentially it's all the same except the show cut out some parts n added others. Bill n Frank episode was so tender :( n Joel's monologue 2 Tommy saying all he does is fail Ellie... my God pedro pascal recited his lines PERFECTLY,, director yelled cut but he heard CUNT instead n delivered.

YOU KNOW WHAT sorry 2 get NSFW 4 a bit AGAIN but i sat there clenching my thighs SO TIGHTLY when he gunned down the entire hospital. literally had heart eyes n everything watching that shit.

‘so time heals all wounds, i guess. // it wasn’t time that did it.’ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THE WAY HE PURPOSEFULLY MAKES EYE CONTACT WITH ELLIE WHEN HE SAYS IT, LIKE HE FULLY TURNS HIS HEAD 2 MAKE SURE HE MEETS HER EYES SO SHE KNOWS WHAT HE’S GETTING AT N THEN THE EYE CONTACT THEY HOLD AFTER HE SAYS IT N THEY WAY HER EYES WIDEN N IT’S LIKE GOD CAN YOU EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED BITCHES JUST SAY I LOVE YOU PLEASE ANYWAY THE WAY HE WIPES HIS EYES 2 AFTERWARDS??????? THIS SCENE WAS SO SOFT GOD FUCK

WHY DID THEY CUT OUT THE PART WHERE ELLIE JUMPS IN2 THE WATER WITH HENRY N SAM N HE KEEPS HER AFLOAT LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SOOO IMPORTANT IMO 2 SHOW THAT JOEL THINKING OF HER AS 'CARGO' WAS SLOWLY DETERIORATING I DON’T KNOWJDSSDH BUT THE WAY SHE KNOWS SHE CAN'T SWIM BUT SHE KNOWS JOEL WON'T LET HER DROWN LIKE THE WAY JOEL GOES 'i got you, i got you,' LIKE OMG????? HNHGDHFGDH

WHY DID THEY ALSO TAKE OUT THE SCENE WHERE JOEL LIKE GETS CAUGHT UPSIDE DOWN IN BILL'S TRAP N ELLIE HAS 2 SAVE HIM LIKE THAT SCENE WAS SO FUCKING COOL JDHSDJSDF JOEL WAS SO COOL THERE SIGHHHH

PEDRO PASCAL N BELLA RAMSEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB OMFG BELLA RAMSEY DESERVES ALL THE AWARDS BRO HOLY SHIT she's such a good actress. their relationship n their chemisty on n off screen is so precious ahhhh they did so good!!!

here r some tiktoks that have me sobbing immediately n gives me immeasurable amounts of grief:

https://www.tiktok.com/@iostlegacy/video/7213479467690249480

this is the edit that got me curious about TLOU in the first place. i was BAMBOOZLED thinking i would get a cute father-daughter duo game (i did but it didn't last) FUCK i love TLOU

https://www.tiktok.com/@cast1ebyerss/video/7242296022716697858

it's the way she becomes this person she obviously doesn't want 2 become,,, which you can tell from the way she gets literal PTSD after the first time she tortures one of Abby's friends 4 information,, like actually tortures,, but she continues doing all that fucked up shit in the name of revenge 4 Joel ‘cus like she loves him SO MUCH!!! ‘when i get home, i’m gonna bury you,’ SHE HAD 2 KILL HER INNER CHILD KYS FUCK anyway the transition from her being all alone n violent 2 her 14 yo self AUGHDHSVSHHSHSHS the way she was she was literally fighting 4 survival during that time (not saying she isnt now like TLOU2) like she was like on 'roadtrip' with  Joel fighting infected almost everyday but she was still so much happier n innocent-er AUGHHHHH the pipeline is 2 real omfg i freaking love Ellie hfhdhdjdbd I love Ellie Williams in my head she is Ellie Miller anyway,,

https://www.tiktok.com/@lcvesrobin/video/7199341136308210950

THE FUCKING TRANSITION FROM TAYLOR'S YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN KID 2 THE 19*5'S ABOUT YOU IN WHICH THE LYRICS ARE 'do you think i have forgotten about you?" KILL YOURSELF,,, ALSO THE FUCKING CAPTION?? ‘CUS SHE WAS ALWAYS ON HER OWN BUT THEN JOEL SHOWED UP N WAS THE FIRST PERSON 2 PROPERLY LOVE HER ENOUGH 2 QUITE LITERALLY OR WTV DAMN THE WHOLE WORLD N HE JUST FUCKING DIES N SHE ENDS UP ALL ALONE AGAIN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU LONELINESS REALLY IS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD I JUST WANTED THEM 2 BE HAPPY MAN her only fear was 2 not end up alone n thats all she was in the end (choking on tears)

https://www.tiktok.com/@ramsyvsp/video/7246107689821015338

‘YOU GO HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITH SOMEONE’ // ‘I SAVED HER’ please i can’t take it anymore i literally have work, i work at a job n these bitches got me on life support ,, trying not 2 cry ,, abt 2 talk 2 my supervisor with tears in my eyes thanks. Ellie wanted 2 save the world n Joel wanted 2 save his n that’s exactly what he did.

https://www.tiktok.com/@qshleyvsp/video/7249372913017588999

please don't even talk 2 me.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLssF7ah/

self-explanatory. what if i actually started throwing up like /srs.

uhm okay here's like just me talking about Joel n Ellie ‘cus i have daddy issues n the thought of being loved that dearly makes me physically ill. 

i love Joel’s character SO much. the way he’s always been some kind of father/protector 2 EVERYONE around him is so,, he loved Sarah n when he lost her, he lost himself n he dedicated his life 2 protecting the only family he had left ie Tommy n even when that went 2 hell, he was then protective of Tess (let’s be honest she was a milf who could fight like a bitch mwah gone 2 soon) n then Ellie. he was always being someone else’s ,, defender. the way he obviously closed himself off after he thought he failed Sarah n the way he got attached 2 Ellie n ultimately let her in n just seamlessly fell in2 the role of a father again like he was just shrugging on an old jacket. SARAH TAUGHT HIM HOW 2 LOVE N ELLIE REMINDED HIM HOW SIGHHH,, Ellie n Sarah could’ve been the best sisters UGH also the way Ellie was always by herself n she really only had Riley n then she lost her 2 n then she met Joel n he was the first person in her life that didn’t let her get hurt (ish) n actually gave a shit about her so she let him in (SIGH) even though she was probably so scared of ending up alone again (SIGHHHH) n they just. THEY’RE THE ONLY DAD/DAUGHTER DUO EVER MANNNNN

i love their relationship. i love them 2 death. they are so insanely lovely 2 me like how they go from barely tolerating one another 2 risking their lives 2 save each other. being loved by Joel means he doesn't care how violent he has 2 get 2 keep Ellie safe n that's exactly what he did n i can't even imagine anyone loving me that much n it makes me ache 4 someone older who would stop at nothing 2 keep me safe. omfg i'm getting off track. anyway, Ellie loves Joel so much that she's doing everything 2 forgive him, knowing she thinks she's worthless without her immunity meaning something n that is so deep. i love their relationship so dearly. they are so somft 2 me. ignoring the murder n all. i don’t know i just. i never had a connection like Ellie has with Joel. ever. n just like thinking about how if i were in Ellie's shoes, i would just be constantly in awe that someone has the capacity 2 love n care 4 me as much as Joel does n how is he not bursting at the seams. i love Joel. i wish dads were real. sigh okay i think that's all.

yes, that's it. thanks 4 reading. love you xx 

#tlou #the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #tlou spoilers #SPOILERS #-kai

[fuzzy-melonlord]

For the hc meme, all of them for vincent (and maybe christian ?)

Oh gods, okay well the Christian is gonna be regular canon Christian. but imma do my best lol. We're gonna start with Vincent first. I'm also going to put these under a cut because there are so many omg.

☾ - sleep headcanon

Vincent is a completely still sleeper. Back when he was alive, his friends used to joke that he slept like the dead. Barely breathing and not moving. Thinking back on it, he finds it a bit ironic.

★ - sad headcanon

Vincent sometimes goes by his childhood home at night, when things get too much for him. His family moved after he "died" so he doesn't have to worry about running into them, he just...misses them. He'd give anything to see them again and seeing the house, while bringing him a bit of peace it also makes his sense of longing stronger.

☆ - happy headcanon

When Vincent is happy, he has a tendency to hum to himself. Sometimes even going so far as dancing a little. Sometimes Lovely will come home and he just pulls them into a fun little dance.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Vincent doesn't get angry often, but when he does it's a very controlled anger. It can be quite scary to be on the receiving end of his rage. and Despite his rivalry with Alexis, the only time she had even been on the receiving end was when Sam was turned.

✿ - Sex headcanon

Back when he was alive, Vincent never would have thought he would have had a biting kink, it wasn't really a thing he thought about especially since he had only slept with a handful of people before he died.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

He keeps his room pretty clean, Vincent wants his living quarters to be a place where he can relax and he can't relax if his room is too messy.

♡ - romantic headcanon

As a human, he had been a hopeless romantic. He had a brief thought as he got on The Surge that he...might ask out that timid stranger he had been talking to. Wondering if that would be the meet cute that some of his friends had talked about wanting. Obviously, that never happened.

♥ - family headcanon

He lived with his mother, and two younger sisters growing up. He hasn't seen them in person since he died, but he does in fact keep up with their lives on social media (Something he is immensely grateful for). His mother has passed, his middle sister is a travelling actress, and his youngest sister is an elementary school teacher and has two children with her lovely wife. Vincent is happy for them.

☮ - friendship headcanon

Sometimes he goes to visit his "grave" and he'll find a bouquet of flowers. A gift from his best friend who still lives in Dahlia. He has accidentally run into him once and had to lie and pretend they had never met.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

He collects old records, he doesn't have a record player but he loves the appearance of old records. He plans to get a record player, he keep saying he's going to but it's been years and he hasn't.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He loves denim, like that trend in the early 2000s where whole outfits were denim, yeah he loves that shit. he dislikes the color purple. he doesn't know what it is but he never liked it.

▼ - childhood headcanon

As a child he was the eldest of three, living with a single mother, so he had a tendency to watch his siblings more often than not. There were a few times where, as they were growing up, they would accidentally call him dad.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

Growing up, Vincent had always been scared of aging. The thought of getting gray hairs, losing functions, he hated the thought. Now that he'll never age...he misses the thought of it. He wishes he could grow old with his Lovely.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Vincent's best dish to make is an alfredo pasta that his mom used to make on special occasions. He makes it whenever he misses home, even if he doesn't need to eat. He has definitely made it for Lovely before.

☼ - appearance headcanon

Okay so I imagine Vincent to be a ginger. It's a bit longer, about shoulder length and he usually keeps it either in a pony tail or a braid over his shoulder. His eyes were a deep hazel before he was turned and sometimes he misses them. He does have a set of contacts that he wears when he's working so that he appears more human.

ൠ - random headcanon

He likes frogs. He used to bring frogs inside the house all the time, his mother hated it.

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

uhhh so i really think my boi still dresses like it's the early 2000s. sure he'll wear like more modern fashion most of the time but my man loves his old fashion. he thinks it's great.

Alright time for Christian

☾ - sleep headcanon

Christian kicks in his sleep, he is a rowdy boy.

★ - sad headcanon

The reason he is so sure of himself is to make up for the fact that he feels like he's not enough as a person. He has to boost his own ego because he feels worthless. Like that Marina like "I feel like I'm the worst so I always act like I'm the best". Yeah that's him.

☆ - happy headcanon

He is the happiest when he's with his pack. He may be an ass and he may rile people up, but the pack is his family.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

He gets very angry with some of Asher's decision as Beta. which only furthers his "i should be beta, not him" and while he's internally angry he only passive aggressively says stuff about it instead of being just plain aggressive.

✿ - Sex headcanon

Christian likes getting pegged, you can't change my mind and i will not elaborate.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

His place is basically a bachelor pad. He does in fact not have a bed frame just a mattress on the floor. He does spend more time at Amanda's place than he does his own.

♡ - romantic headcanon

He actually really does like Amanda. it's not just a fling for him and he wants to peruse and actual relationship with her, but he's worried that it isn't what she wants.

♥ - family headcanon

He's the youngest of 4 siblings, one elder brother and two elder sisters. None but him are empowered. Growing up, he was always put under immense pressure to be as smart or as good at his skills as his siblings but he always seemed to fall short of their parents expectations.

☮ - friendship headcanon

He has a few close friends inside of the pack, his closest is a member named Miguel. They're around the same age, and they spend quite a bit of time together. they go out drinking every friday.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

He actually a really talented frisbee player. He goes out to frisbee parks and enjoys it. He doesn't really talk about it thought.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He fucking hates iced tea, he thinks it's a bastardization of tea. but his favorite drink is irish coffee.

▼ - childhood headcanon

As a child, he wasn't close with any of his siblings. His eldest sister tried to reach out a few times and connect with him but it was hard under the influence of their parents.

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon

He doesn't have to much issue with the thought of aging, he's always thought of it as a "i'll get wiser as i get older" kind of thought.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

Christian isn't a...horrible cook but he also isn't anything to write home about. He cooks enough to keep himself alive.

☼ - appearance headcanon

okay so i feel like he has sandy brown hair and has a smattering of freckles all over his body. Dark blue green eyes. He's on the taller side, but shorter than David.

I know i've got two more but i got nothing else XD im sorry.

#redactedasmr #redacted asmr #redacted vincent #redacted christian

[thoughtfulturtleprincess]

Angels and Demons AU where He Tian and ZZX are demons and JY and MGS are angels.

1. He Tian and Jian Yi are both princes of their respective realms. Mo and ZZX are both soldiers/underlings.

2. He Tian is the most powerful demon prince of The Underworld. He can overwhelm those around him simply by releasing his demonic aura into the atmosphere.

3. Jian Yi is widely regarded across all realms to be the most beautiful angel to ever exist. He Tian used to agree with that, until it didn’t matter anymore because he met Mo Guan Shan.

4. ZZX is fiercely loyal to the He family reign and had a hard time coming to terms with falling for an enemy.

5. He Tian had no issues with being attracted to angels. He did not struggle internally when it came to his feelings for Momo. He did, however, consciously protect Momo from any potential push-back from his family.

6.  Momo is rebellious, feisty but ethereal and mesmerising. He Tian would argue that Mo is actually more hypnotising than Jian Yi because once he saw him, he couldn’t look away. This was not a widespread opinion amongst the angel of the Heavens. To most, Guan Shan is a mere soldier. A servant to angelic royalty. Dispensable. Replaceable.

7. omg what if they don’t manifest their spiritual identity(demonic/angelic) until a certain age, so they all meet in school as ‘humans’. Nobody knows for sure which side they themselves or others will end up being. But it was more obvious for some than others. 

8. For instance, it is obvious to everyone that He Tian will manifest as a demon. It is also obvious that Jian Yi will manifest as an angel. ZZX manifesting as a demon is quite surprising, but nobody knew what Mo would be.

9. Except for He Tian. He had suspected that this boy will manifest as an angel since their first meeting. But most people are too distracted by his feisty/defensive facade to notice to the obviously positive, albeit damaged, underlying spiritual energy.

10. ZZX also noticed that, which was why he said that the Redhead is not that bad of a person after their fight. JY had also come to his own realisation about this soon after.

11. Momo didn’t know what he would manifest as. He saw himself as a damaged person. He thought he’d manifest as the most detestable demon of all realms. But he’s wrong about that ofc :D

12. He Tian’s infatuation with Guan Shan grew and grew over time. At one point, He Tian started calling Momo ‘my little angel’ or ‘my angel’. He’d say things like ‘don’t be afraid, my little angel’. Momo would get all flustered and confused. He thinks he’s not going to manifest as an angel.

13. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ He Tian would say. ‘even if you manifest as a demon I’ll still call you my little angel. Because you will always be an angel in my eyes.’

14. Mo would get super flustered and say something like him and his whole family are angels. Classic :D

15. They’d calm down and there’d be a pause. He Tian would either think or say out loud, that in all seriousness, he can’t imagine Mo manifesting as anything other than an angel. Mo is inherently angelic. Anyone who pays attention can tell.

16. When Mo manifests as an angel, He Tian’s with him. He Tian had invited himself over for the night. After a lot of push-back, Mo had somehow agreed to He Tian sleeping in the same bed as him. When He Tian woke up, there were beautiful, white feathers everywhere. He Tian tries to sit up but giant, white wings fill the space around the bed. Momo was hidden somewhere among them.

17. He Tian is amazed, elated and in love. He ever so gently strokes the part of the wing in front of him, and calls out, ‘Guan Shan.’ He knows Momo would be emotional. He Tian gently pushes aside the feathers to find Momo kneeling on the floor, head buried in his hands.

18. He Tian has seen this before. Angels looking radiant and ethereal. But somehow, Guan Shan’s angel form makes his heart skip a beat. It’s like he’s seeing it for the first time all over again.

19. ‘Hey,’ He Tian reaches out to gently stroke Guan Shan’s soft, red hair. ‘It’s okay.’ He slowly removes Guan Shan’s hands, and puts a hand under his chin to tilt his head up.

20. He Tian had honestly never seen anything nearly as beautiful. He is incredibly happy to be the sole witness of Guan Shan’s angelic manifestation.

21. The first time Momo sees He Tian as a demon, he had yet to manifest as an angel. He Tian was so powerful that he was terrified to the point of trembling and paralysis. However, He Tian tones down his demonic aura when he’s around Guan Shan so the other feels safe rather than threatened.  

22. After manifesting their spiritual identities, the boys are sent to their respective realms to continue with their education. 

23. Years pass. He Tian is crowned prince. He still thinks about Mo every day. 

24. The Underworld wages war on The Heavens. As a part of the training regime, Momo had been brainwashed so that his memories of He Tian would not get in the way of his fighting. Jian Yi’s memories remain intact because he is not a soldier and is not expected to go onto the battlefield.

25. He Tian had heard about this. The day he parted ways with Momo he had vowed to protect him. But before his brother and his father, he feels powerless. When he heard about the brainwashing, and saw from intelligence data that Momo was one of the angels that was put under this programme, He Tian had raged, causing a huge fire all throughout The Underworld. He had attempted to charge straight to The Heavens, but was ultimately stopped by his brother and father and was ultimately subdued.

26. Helpless, he reaches out to Jian Yi through spiritual telepathy, a power possessed only by spiritual royalty. 

27. ‘Jian Yi, where is he.’ Jian Yi shuddered. Jian had seen the wrath of a demon, but this was nothing like it. This was completely different. 

‘Okay, easy He Tian. He’s fine. He just doesn’t remember -’ 

‘Then he’s not fine!’

‘Right, sorry. No, he’s not fine, because he doesn’t remember you.’

‘I want you to lift that spell. Right now.’

‘He Tian, you are being emotional right now. We can’t talk about this properly when you are like that.’

‘Like what?’

‘Well, unreasonable, you know? I can’t go up against my fucking dad for this. I love Guan Shan in my own way -’

‘Don’t you dare. Don’t tell me you love him when you don’t understand what that means.’

‘Okay, sorry. Look, he’s my friend. I didn’t want this to happen. But there really wasn’t anything I could’ve done, He Tian, you know my dad. He would’ve tortured -’

He would’ve tortured Guan Shan if Jian Yi went up against him. For being a bad influence on his son.

‘Stop. I know.’ 

At least he didn’t get tortured.

‘Listen, He Tian. They’ve got intel on you and him. They scanned his memories. They know, He Tian. They know that you were in love with him.‘

I still am.

‘They think you may still be, so they are going to use him to kill you, He Tian. They know you won’t be able to hurt him.‘

He Tian stills. Sick bastards.

I’m not going to let them win. They aren’t going to make me kill him with my own hands.

28. After numerous battles, the Heavens proposes a truce. They had promised to bring a gift to the crown prince of The Underworld. He Tian and his family meet the angels that have arrived upon their doorstep. 

‘Prince He Tian,‘ an angel bows. ‘Allow me to present you your gift.‘

The angel moves aside and gestures towards two angelic guards and between them, a veiled angel, dressed in the most exquisite garments.

The guards backed away as He Tian moved towards them. Slowly, he lifts the veil.

That chin. Those lips. That nose. That porcelain skin. Those fiery red eyes. 

It’s Mo Guan Shan.

He Tian stops breathing for a split second. It’s Guan Shan. His Guan Shan. His little angel. 

He Tian gently takes hold of the angel’s chin and tilts his head up. He didn’t know what kind of expression he was making, but Guan Shan seemed surprised at the eye contact, and quickly looked sideways.

‘You are safe now. Don’t be afraid, my little angel.’

Something triggered in Guan Shan. A tear falls down onto his cheek. He stares at the demonic crown prince in front of him as the latter gently wipes the tear from his cheek.

‘Gentlemen,’ a demon administrator calls out. ‘please adjourn to the royal dining room. Take the gift to the guest room.‘

29. That evening, He Tian returned to his room to find Guan Shan waiting for him. 

‘Prince He Tian. You must be tired. Please allow me to bathe you.’

30. As He Tian stretches out in the bathtub, Guan Shan approaches from behind, dagger in hand, ready to strike. Just before the tip of the dagger makes contact, it vanishes into thin air. Guan Shan’s hand lands on He Tian’s shoulder instead. The prince turns around and sees the angel cowering in the corner, trembling in fear.

31. ‘Don’t be afraid, little angel. I will not hurt you,’ He Tian says as he carefully approaches the redhead.

‘You were sent here to kill me, right? How dare they make you do such a thing, my poor Guan Shan. I shall put you out of this misery. Then I shall make you my bride. I shall keep you safe from all those who have harmed you. And I shall have you willingly in my arms.’

‘How do you know my real name?‘

‘My dear Guan Shan. They put a spell on you, you see. I know you from before spiritual manifestation.‘

Guan Shan’s brows furrowed.

‘They wiped me from your memories so you can kill me. But because my memories are intact, there was no way I would ever have harmed you. The Heavens think this will be my demise, but we must never let them win.‘

‘Who am I to you?‘

‘You are my little angel, Guan Shan,‘ He Tian takes Mo’s hand in his, and presses a chaste kiss onto the back of his hand. ‘I have loved you since before spiritual manifestation.‘

Guan Shan recoils, but He Tian pulls him towards himself.

‘Come here, my little angel! I am finally with you at last. I have dreamt about you every moment since we parted. I had longed for you to be in my arms. And now that I have you, I must never let anyone take you away from me ever again.‘

Guan Shan tried to squirm free of He Tian’s hold, but to no avail. He felt a gush of spiritual energy enter his body. His head was spinning and he was going limp. The last thing he felt before losing consciousness was He Tian planting a kiss on his forehead.

32. He Tian carries an unconscious Guan Shan in a princess hold, and places him on his bed. 

They don’t know that I know which spell he’s under. They don’t know I have the power to undo it. They underestimate me.

33. Guan Shan wakes up to find He Tian lying next to him, embracing him from behind.

His memories are back. A tear rolls down his cheek. He leans down to place his forehead on He Tian’s chest. He Tian awakens to find Guan Shan sobbing in his arms. 

34. He Tian keeps his soon-to-be bride in his room, away from others. His father is enraged when he finds out about the Heaven’s hidden agenda and orders for Guan Shan to be eliminated. He Tian clarifies that he’s lifted the spell. They do a scan of Guan Shan’s spiritual energy and found no traces of the original spell he was put under. He Tian’s father senses no intent to kill or harm He Tian in the redheaded boy. He Tian claims that he loves him. He Tian’s father lets them be.

33. The Underworld announces that the war is not over with The Heavens, that the truce is off because of their ‘gift’. They engage in further battle, until the elders are killed, and Jian Yi and He Tian are left to rule over their kingdoms. They establish an everlasting truce that will ensure that the 2 realms will coexist in peace forever after.

34. Guan Shan finally falls in love with He Tian, and He Tian makes him his bride.

#ugh #my heart #was thinking about phantom of the opera while writing about this #lel #tianshan #19 days

[uwumessenger]

random headcanons i have for each om! character teehee

hi it's been a while since ive posted some hcs bc uni has been kicking my a$$! luckily i only have a few papers to tidy up and im done. here r some hcs for each obey me character that ive accumulated over the past few months wink wonk

most are random but some constants you'll find are what i think they smell like, languages they can speak (other than their native (demon/angel) and eng/jp), and music tastes !

lucifer

i have a strong feeling that he showers twice a day: in the morning after waking up and at night before going to bed

his cologne is probably the type that will last in an elevator for like a week after he uses it once. i dont think this mf ever smells like anything other than his cologne

has a secret folder on his phone of semi-nudes and other scandalous pics from when he felt sexy at the time omg

aside from demon language/eng/jp he can speak french and knows latin

listens to classical stuff yea but he also listens to diavolos mixtapes (re: diavolo's section)

not a fan of sweets but will eat sweet things when craving

really bland sense of humor...borderline cringey 😭✋🏻

mammon

has gone to google images and searched for "inspirational quotes tumblr" "gold aesthetic tumblr" & "relatable crush post tumblr" then reposts it onto his socials or just taps thru them and giggles bc he relates

his cologne doesnt last as long as lucifers and probably smells common. he has to reapply a lot but it's a people pleasing smell. it's cheaper hence the constant reapplying

he probably does have an expensive bottle but is the type to totally overspray...eek

he is canonically a car guy 🥲 and probably tells the one in his room good morning & good night + kisses the hood every once in a while. has tons of car magazines

he doesnt really speak other languages but has attempted to learn spanish before

listens to whatever is on the radio. doesnt rly stan anyone but he eventually will listen to mc's playlist and mc's playlist ONLY

levi

lurks on mc's socials ALL THE TIMEEEE like he will rewatch ur stories and scroll thru ur feed and overanalyze ur tweets/rts or blog posts. if ur mc isnt the type to use sns much he still googles ur name all the damn time just to find any sites u might be on fjdjdjdjskks

probably streams on whatever youtube or twitch devildom site equivalent there is, but only has like 40 or so followers. which he is okay with!

until he sees someone else who gets more attention than him. then the envy starts kicking in bad. especially if they suck 🧍🏻‍♀️

classic gamer boy smell. you know, sweat, tears, must, and (sometimes) axe deodorant. lucifer has to do a scent check before he goes out to any event & lets him use his cologne. how sweet!

kpop stan!! more girl groups than anything and his ults are probably GIRLS GENERATION, wonder girls, twice, loona, & red velvet

cried when ioi disbanded and refused to leave his room. the only thing u could hear was downpour on loop at full blast

can also speak korean & communicate in echolocation like dolphins 😏

satan

listens to country music you cant change my mind

smells like whatever environment he is in. he doesnt really have a designated smell just throws some deodorant on and goes about his day.

he's sooooo bad at driving...gets road rage way too often so his license has been REVOKED

but hes totally a backseat driver. needs to be sedated on long trips

do not let him watch finding nemo when luke asks to watch it. it's not worth it. he will cause mass destruction.

if he was a human or lived long term in the human world he totally has the ability to be a doctor

is studying as many languages as possible, but he mostly knows latin & french & german etc etc. wants to learn all the dead languages out of curiousity

asmo

dont think this mf has ever held down a relationship. ever

he doesnt compromise much & is not willing to change his lifestyle to fit an s/o into it. you keep up with how he lives or it just isnt meant to be (but dont worry! he'll eventually learn...maybe,,,,)

has the hardest time out of everyone when it comes to breaking bad habits

his smell varies bc he uses a variety of perfumes (whatever is the most popular at the time) but he probably sticks to floral and fresh scents. he never uses generic people pleaser scents like mammon

listens to electropop, mainstream pop, & some alternative rock

as for languages he too knows french, spanish, italian, etc. in general, if it's a romance language he knows it!

opposite of lucifer in the sense where he loves sweets and will refrain from eating too many bitter things

i think we all know that asmo is the biggest rockstar of the group! he's probably been in a boy band at least once, but now he makes his own music

has tried to teach mammon how to sing once. ended up in a broken piano and bleeding ears...

beel

i feel like he is SO SHY

like unless ur close to him he will not start conversations or anything

i think he listens to r&b a lot ! and jazz 😎 maybe rock as well

smells like ur typical athlete with undertones of wet wipes. he carries them around bc he likes to clean his hands before he eats & is prepared for when theres no sink nearby

he can drive and he drives really well. no rough turns, parallel parks perfectly, and never has problems with merging

driving with beel is probably really soothing. left hand is steering the other is gripping ur thigh 😫

dont think hes really fluent in any other language but hes probably semi fluent in korean because levi wanted beel to help him out

definitely know how to order food in practically every language tho HAHAHA

belphie

he reminds me of randall from monsters inc

smells kinda musty IM SORRY but not the way levi does hes more like the kind of musty u feel or smell when it's a shitty morning

but that's only because hes so lazy, when he cleans up hes like satan

has definitely murdered multiple people before. mc is not the first 😐✋🏻

with that being said belphie has been put into prison at least twice when visiting the human world, the mf had such a strong hatred for humans theres no way he never got into trouble before

lucifer probably broke him out and they used the pen thingies from men in black to erase everyones memory of that 🙄

dont think he listens to anything other than music that'll put him to sleep. really likes lazy song by bruno mars but thinks that bruno mars put too much effort into the song. should have been one acapella verse and then finish

similar to beel hes only semi fluent in one language, probably french bc of lucifer. doesnt remember much but knows a couple of lullabies and bedtime stories

the sandman used to be his bff until they drifted. they do, however, like and comment on each other's sns posts.

diavolo

once he found out who nicki minaj was he became her #1 stan

def an ariana grande stan too 😌

choreographs dances when hes stressed...idk just seems like a diavolo thing to do

also makes rly bad soundcloud rap music sometimes. turns to poetry when hes feeling emo but only lucifer knows this. barbatos is suspicious of him but doesnt have enough evidence to confirm.

his dad is like hudson abadeer from adventure time aka marceline's dad? something must have influenced him to want to unite the 3 realms + he would need the approval to do so, so his dad must be more chill than all the others before him 🧍🏻‍♀️ IDK ok anyway

currently going through his hamilton phase bc of mc. whether mc's intent was to get him hooked onto it or just to explain it bc of something he saw online, he tells everyone that he found out abt it bc of mc!

this man cannot drive his skills are only second to jumin han

not too fond of many languages but knows the widely spoken ones like spanish, mandarin, etc. if it's taught in high school he knows it

smells like a las vegas casino. not sure why but i feel like he does. but there's also an interesting & nice smell to him if he embraces you. it's a smell you cant quite identify. but it smells nostalgic, it's mysterious, and it's tempting.

barbatos

very calm demeanor but underneath hes WILD hes probably done everything at least once oof

he just has a lot of control and stability over himself (must be nice!)

on a more angsty note i feel like he might have had his heartbroken sO BAD IDK he is hurting and maybe that's why hes so willing to obey diavolo and not abuse his time lord power thingies bc he learned his lesson the hard way

mans is so smart he knows every language you could switch languages mid conversation with him and he wouldnt be thrown off. he'd probably start speaking it too.

BUT HE SPEAKS VIET P E R F E C T L Y

listens to the same stuff as lucifer but also likes eminem. likes the movie 8 mile but criticized it heavily

have you ever been to a chinese herb shop? naturally, he smells like that. his room probably smells like it too. he doesnt really have a significant smell like some of the others

when he bakes he smells like whatever hes baking tho

one of the few out of everyone listed to have been able to travel to literally everywhere

solomon

was probably on kitchen nightmares once, but only to get feedback from chef gordon ramsay. then he used his magic to prevent the episode from airing...

was in an orchestra, one of the best times of his life. played the violin. asmo watched him in the audience once, but didnt approach him until well after that performance.

he CANNOT sing. he can, however, rap.

doesnt listen to music. he listens to podcasts! but every now and then he turns on background music, but prefers it to be instrumental stuff

never wears sunglasses. also does not have a driver's license. cannot drive a regular car. could maybe fly an airplane.

due to his immortality he has learned almost every language to exist, but finds himself speaking mandarin the most. knows most dialects too

similar smell to barbatos but u can also smell some sunscreen on him too. like, generic beach day suncreen

he has a lot of pact marks, so he once had the idea to match foundation to his skin. it took him two weeks but he eventually perfected a combination. yes he will help u find ur perfect shade if u ask him to

simeon

another country music man. has also made a tiktok or two to that one song that goes "he cant even bait a hook." they are private tho

angel country music exists and simeon invented it

if he visits the human world and wears more causal clothing he probably tucks his shirt into his pants

wears a speedo at the beach i tell u, speedo at the beach

he can speak german...i can feel it

uses his pointer finger to type and holds the phone like 2 inches away from his face so sometimes his nose will push a key hence all his typos

has no signature smell. he simply smells like your favorite scent all the time. if multiple people are around him at once, everyone smells a different smell. it's pretty rad

"what does he smell like to himself?" u may be asking. hmm...a church? 💀

luke

his first pet was a goldfish and a few months before the exchange program happened, he was given a koi pond!

secretly likes hanging out with levi sometimes just to play with henry. makes him miss his pet fish back home

so his favorite movie is probably finding nemo and he threw a fit when nemo touched the butt

luke is probably learning german bc of simeon, though he'd like to learn more of the dead languages just for fun

i dont think he listens to music often or has any preferences, he just listens to whatever is playing on the radio

but he finds himself listening to the music mc listens to

smells like freshly baked goods all the time. or fresh laundry. but like, not combined. just depends on the day

#i cant wait for finals to be over #HASHTAG TIME HCNDNDNSN SO MANY #obey me tingz #obey me #obey me! #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me asmo #obey me beelzebub #obey me beel #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me headcanons #obey me! headcanons #om! headcanons #omswd #obey me imagines

[xiyao-feels]

A Comparison of the Stairs Dialogue in CQL vs MDZS, Pt 1

(Pt 2)

A few introductory notes:

-This wasn't intended to be a big project post; I was just doing the comparison because I thought it was interesting. As I went I thought other people would probably find it interesting too, and it would be worth having it all written down, so I did turn it into a post after all. But I'm not really arguing any central point or anything; I'm really just comparing the dialogue and writing down my thoughts as I go.

-This also of course means my usual pro-JGY and consequently very annoyed at NMJ biases are on display. As ever, if this will upset you, please don't read!!

-This is a comparison of the text of the dialogue, not everything about their interaction; I don't necessarily note it if e.g. the acting doesn't match the dialogue tags in MDZS, or what have you.

-To do a proper comparison, you really need to compare the Chinese text, not the English translation; this is what I'm doing, though of course I've included the English from the Youtube subs, for CQL, and from the Exiled Rebels translation for MDZS. (For the Youtube subs I recorded "Yao" as A-Yao and used da-ge instead of Big brother when 大哥 was used and er-ge when 二哥 was used, just because this is my habit when copying down the dialogue.)

-Speaking of which: for MDZS, I just copied from the text, but for the CQL dialogue both English and Chinese I copied down the subs. I don't actually speak Chinese, but fortunately CQL on Youtube has the Chinese subs as well; my reading level in Chinese is also completely terrible, but I can often recognize most or many of the characters, and what I can't I can find by identifying radicals or drawing it in a handwriting recognition thing, etc. I did my best to be careful and thorough, and I also checked it against the Chinese subs I downloaded from Netflix, but there may still be some errors, fair warning. This also means that, unlike the Chinese from MDZS, the CQL Chinese dialogue isn't punctuated beyond spacing it out as it appeared on the screen; this is because the Chinese subs aren't punctuated, and I am certainly not going to make that judgement myself.

-The characters that differ in a given line between the MDZS and CQL versions are bolded, to help make the difference visually clear.

With that aside, the comparison is below the cut.

CQL  

LXC: 阿瑶 大哥他心性不比从前 你千万不要再惹怒他了 他最近深受刀灵侵扰之苦 若不是你日日给他弹清心音的话 恐怕他 A-Yao. Da-ge's temperament is getting worse. Don't ever displease him again. He's been subject to the harassment of his blade lately. If you hadn't been playing Cleansing Music for him everyday, I'm afraid he'd be…  

MDZS  

LXC: 只是一时气愤，口不择言罢了。大哥现在心性不比从前， 你千万不要再惹怒他了。他最近深受刀灵侵扰之苦， 怀桑又和他争吵置气，到今天还没和好。 His anger was simply too great for him to have thought before speaking. Brother’s temper cannot compare to how it was in the past. You must not provoke him again. These past few days, he has been deeply troubled by the saber spirit, and HuaiSang has argued with him again. They still have not made up yet, even today.

I'm comparing the CQL dialogue to the equivalent dialogue in MDZS, but of course in MDZS this exchange isn't before the stairs in ch 49; rather it's part of a broader conversation NMJ hears before he bursts in to try and kill JGY on the spot, because he doesn't like how JGY is talking to LXC about him, in ch 50. (Note, incidentally, how obviously impossible this renders the task of not displeasing da-ge, even aside from his not being satisfied with anything less than Xue Yang's head, as JGY and LXC were having a private conversation at the time.) The mention of NMJ and NHS' falling out is removed, replaced with the information that JGY has been playing to MMJ "every day"; the reference to NMJ calling JGY son of a whore is of course removed, since it hasn't happened yet. One effect of this relocation is on our understanding of LXC's injunction not to "displease him again/provoke him again" (再惹怒他 in both). In MDZS, this seems to refer to the stairs incident where JGY talked back (as the text notes, unusually); here perhaps it might be read as suggesting that JGY somehow has a habit of avoidably displeasing NMJ, which I think is absurd.

However, that's not the only possible interpretation. Although CQL doesn't quite give us the scene mentioned in chapter 30, where NMJ shows up and lectures JGS into announcing XY would be executed (…and heaps abuse on JGY when he tries to intervene, terrifying JGY sufficiently that he hides behind LXC—observe that in the sentence immediately prior to this we are also told that NMJ had unsheathed his sabre), in episode 35 we are told that all the clans wanted to punish XY except for JGS, and given a brief flashback to JGS yelling. Therefore, I think, it's not unreasonable to assume that something like the scene described in ch 30 occurred in CQL. Perhaps LXC is referring to this, although of course JGY would still be held between the fatal opposition of NMJ's and his father's wishes.

It's also relevant of course that in removing the surrounding context, CQL removes the context of the conversation of JGY expressing his pain about how NMJ treats him, and LXC replying, and rather turns it into an apparently unprompted expression of concern on LXC's part.

CQL  

NMJ: 金光瑶 Jin Guangyao!   

MDZS  

-

It's worth noting, I think, that in MDZS NMJ never refers to JGY as "Jin Guangyao" throughout the entire stairs encounter. 

CQL  

LXC: 大哥 怎么了 Da-ge, what's wrong?   

MDZS  

LXC: 大哥 Da-ge?

CQL  

NMJ: 你别动 你出来 (to LXC) Don't move. (to JGY) Come out. 

MDZS  

NMJ: 你别动 你出来 (to LXC) Don't move. (To JGY) Come out.  

CQL  

JGY: 二哥 劳烦你帮我再过一眼 百花宴贵宾的名单 我先去和大哥说点私事 回头再请你讲解 Er-ge, please check the list of guests of the Floral Banquet for me. I need to talk some private affairs with da-ge. I'll explain it to you later.  

MDZS  

JGY: 二哥劳烦你再帮我理一理这条，我先去和大哥说点私事，回头再请你讲解 Brother, could you please help me go through this one? I have some private matters to discuss with our eldest brother. I’ll have to ask for your explanation at a later time. 

Interestingly the exact same sentence in the Chinese, 回头再请你讲解, is translated in CQL as JGY's promise to explain later—where the implication seems to be he'll explain about what he's discussing with NMJ, perhaps?—and in MDZS as JGY's intention to ask /LXC/ to explain (the work he's going over in JGY's absence) later. In MDZS, of course, they're working on the watchtowers…while in CQL host with the most LXC is /helping JGY put his banquet guest lists together/, omg. I wish they'd kept more about the watchtowers but I admit I enjoy this as well. They plan parties together!

In both CQL and MDZS NMJ tries to hit JGY after they are outside and before further words are exchanged.

CQL  

JGY: 大哥 何必如此 有话好说 Da-ge. Why act like this? We can talk nicely, can't we?   

MDZS  

JGY: 大哥，何必如此，有话好说。 Brother, why the rage? Let’s calm down. 

CQL  

NMJ: 薛洋呢 Where is Xue Yang?   

MDZS  

NMJ: 薛洋呢 Where's Xue Yang? 

CQL  

JGY: 他已被关入地牢 终身不释 He's been shut up in the dungeon, for life time.   

MDZS  

JGY: 他已被关入地牢，终身不释…… He’s already been locked inside the dungeon, imprisoned for life… 

CQL  

NMJ: 我当年在不净世是怎么跟你说的 我要他血债血偿 你却给他来个终身不释 What did I tell you in the Yet Clean Realm at that time? I want him to pay his killing debts. You now give him life imprisonment.   

MDZS  

NMJ: 当初你在我面前是怎么说的 (JGY is silent) 我要他血债血偿，你却给他个终身不释？ What did you say to me back then? (JGY is silent) I wanted him to pay blood with blood, yet you have him imprisoned for life? 

"What did you say to me back then" is interesting; we're not actually given a specific time or a specific thing said, which means we must speculate. An obvious candidate for 'back then' would be the ch 30 scene previously mentioned, when NMJ convinces the Jin to announce that they'll execute XY. Yet the Jin giving in on executing XY seems to come /after/ JGY is sufficiently frightened by NMJ that he hides behind LXC, "not daring to say anything else." NMJ is perhaps conflating JGY with JGY's father, or perhaps assigning to JGY an authority he does not in fact possess, as though JGY and not JGS was the person who made decisions for the Jin.

In CQL of course NMJ takes the position that /Jin Guangyao/ owes him obedience because Meng Yao used to be NMJ's servant—not even just that, but that Jin Guangyao must display obedience to orders NMJ gave several years ago, when JGY was MY. This is absurd and insulting, and even before NMJ actually calls him Meng Yao it demonstrates that NMJ does not actually recognize JGY's legitimacy /as/ Jin Guangyao. Honestly, I don't have the words.

CQL  

JGY: 只要他受到惩罚 无法再犯 终身不释和血债血偿也并无 As long as he's punished, and can't recommit crimes, I can't see the difference between life imprisonment and death sentence.    

MDZS  

JGY: 只要他受到惩罚，无法再犯，终身不释与血债血偿也并无…… As long as he receives his punishment and can’t offend again, perhaps paying blood with blood and being imprisoned for life is… 

CQL  

NMJ: 我问你 当年在不净世 究竟是谁放走了薛洋 是我的总领 还是你 Tell me. When we were at Yet Clean Realm, who on earth released Xue Yang? It was my captain, or you?   

MDZS  

NMJ: 你举荐的好客卿，做出的好事情！事到如今你还敢袒护他！ The good things that the good guest cultivator whom you recommended has done! Things are already like this and you still dare defend him! 

Imho, this gets to a central fault in the CQL XY storyline—why the heck is NMJ trying to have XY killed for the Chang killings, instead of for collaborating with the Wen and/or for killing a bunch of his men??????

I tend to put that aside because it doesn't… actually… make any sense at all, especially since CQL NMJ is quite clearly still preoccupied with XY's old crimes.

CQL  

JGY: 我没有 我为什么要放走他 不过当初是当初 现在常萍已经翻供 没有任何明确证据证明 薛洋屠杀了常氏五十人 而我父亲又一定要留下这个人 It wasn't me. Why should I let him go? But the past is in the past, Chang Ping had withdrawn his confession. No certain evidence can prove that Xue Yang had massacred 50 people of Chang clan. And my father insists on keeping him alive.   

MDZS  

JGY: 我没有袒护他，栎阳常氏那件事我也很震惊，我怎会料到薛洋会杀了人全家五十多口人？可我父亲一定要留着这个人…… I didn’t defend him. I was also shocked by the case of the Changyang Yue Sect. How could I have known that Xue Yang would kill more than fifty people? But my father was set on keeping him… 

So—I'm sorry, that in CQL Chang Ping has already withdrawn his testimony makes this completely absurd. In MDZS, that doesn't happen until /after/ NMJ's death, after the Jin have been hounding him! In CQL, the situation appears to be that they have officially condemned him to the dungeons for life /purely based on NMJ's pressure/, with no actual clear evidence at all—and note that unlike in MDZS, where the Chang killings happened like a month beforehand and XXC presents the evidence that it was XY to the assembled clans, in CQL the killings happened /several years ago before a war/ and Songxiao didn't present any evidence it was XY to anyone else at the time that we saw. I mean, they didn't need to because at the time he confessed when challenged,* but it's not at all clear to me what if any evidence is left! And—in this situation where the one surviving victim is publically saying it wasn't XY, and they're /still officially locking him up for life on NMJ's say-so/—NMJ thinks that JGY should nevertheless go and execute XY.

*To an audience that if I am not misremembering included JC, who was alive and a sect leader independent from NMJ and could presumably have been asked to testify at the trial. This doesn't seem to ever be mentioned, however. Again, the CQL XY subplot doesn't make a huge amount of sense.

I can only guess that they moved up the Chang Ping revokes his testimony timeline to emphasize Jin power? But to me it has almost the opposite effect, since if they're still locking XY up on NMJ's say-so it rather suggests /NMJ's/ power; and more to the point it makes NMJ's already frankly unreasonable demand completely and ludicrously absurd.

CQL  

NMJ: 为什么 他身上还有一块阴铁你不知道吗 你把他重新招揽回来 究竟是为了什么你自己心里清楚 Why? Don't you know he's got a shard of Yin Iron on him? You're trying to reclaim him now. I can clearly see what you have in mind.   

MDZS  

NMJ: 震惊？招揽他的是谁？举荐他的是谁？重用他的是谁？少拿你父亲当幌子，薛洋在干什么，你会不知道吗？！ Shocked? Who was the one that invited him? Who was the one that recommended him? Who was the one that regarded him highly? Don’t use your father as excuse. How could you not have known what Xue Yang was doing?! 

English of course doesn't distinguish between plural and singular second-person, but I think it's worth noting that NMJ is using singular here, 你, and not plural. This is true in both CQL and MDZS. In MDZS, I think the problem is that, although he is in fact referring to things JGY individually did, he refuses to accept the truth of JGY's position: that whatever JGY knew or did not know, he can't actually afford to kill XY if that's not what JGS wants. In CQL, by contrast, the problem is that he's locating the desire to obtain the Yin Iron specifically in JGY, despite JGS'…well, JGS' entire everything.

CQL  

JGY: 大哥 真的是我父亲的命令 我无法拒绝 你现在要我处置薛洋 我该怎么去跟他交代 Da-ge, this is really my father's order. I couldn't deny. If you want me to execute Xue Yang now, in which way can I report this to him?    

MDZS  

JGY: 大哥，真的是我父亲的命令。我没法拒绝。你现在要我处置薛洋，你让我怎么跟他交代 Brother, it really was my father’s orders. I couldn’t refuse. Now, if you want me to take care of Xue Yang, what would I say to him? 

The use of 你 vs the more formal 您 throughout this exchange is interesting. In their exchange before JGY goes outside with NMJ, he uses 你 for LXC; here, he uses 你 for NMJ, but you can see throughout the exchange he seems to use both. It would probably be very interesting to go through the text and observe which JGY uses, to whom, and when.

CQL  

-  

MDZS  

NMJ: 不必废话，提薛洋头来见。 There’s no need for explanations. Come back to me with Xue Yang’s head in your hand. 

CQL  

—  

MDZS  

JGY "wanted to speak"

I think the upshot of these exchanges is much the same in CQL and in MDZS, despite its shortening in CQL: NMJ utterly rejects the validity of JGY's desire to give NMJ a /reason/ for going against JGS' explicit wishes, the explicit wishes, I remind you, of a man he has a moral duty to obey as his clan head and father. Truly, we can only imagine how NMJ would react to JGY killing someone against the wishes of the leader of the clan he served because he deserves it in JGY's own moral judgement… Except of course we don't have to imagine it, because it occurs in both CQL and MDZS, albeit differently. It's not that NMJ recognizes as a general principle that subordinates should be allowed to kill people against their leader's wishes if that subordinate judges their victim deserves it; it's simply that he believes in the primacy of his own, obviously righteous judgement. (And in CQL, again, there isn't any actual definite evidence, and Chang Ping has retracted his testimony.)

I think the main things the slightly more extended MDZS version has, not present in CQL, is, first, the explicit visual of XY's head, and second, that NMJ's subsequent response isn't a response to JGY's actual speech; JGY was about to speak in reply, and NMJ responds in irritation to what he thinks JGY is going to say—responds, indeed, by calling him 'Meng Yao'.

(Next)

#long meta #anger burned in his heart #more than one tag could contain #we can't change places

[bakugouisabitch]

Ziggy i work two jobs now and the second job is retail where i'm on my feet all day.

If you feel up to it, tell me how yb and malik would help each other relax after a hard day.

Omg this is so fucking cute of you 🥺 i sure can!!

((i’m so sorry to hear that that sounds so exhausting :(( i used to work in retail too and my sister still does work in retail where she’s on her feet all day and she always tells me how tiring it can get.. i can imagine what you’re going through might be even harder... i’m so sorry 🥺))

okay hc time:

hmm let me think 🤔

I can actually see Malik working in retail in a classy clothing store. But only as a “last option.” As the pretentious little bitch that he is, he’d actually be the type to aim in what is generally seen as a “higher option” in the working environment. I can see him wanting to do a job where he gets to feel important, like an office job for example. Whether it’s just as a secretary or an accountant, i can see him working in more “conservative” places, where he can put on a neat suit and walk around feeling classy and bossy, or feel a sense of accomplishment by communicating with customers in polite ways and telling them what to do 💆‍♀️ But if his choices are narrowed down i can picture him working in a clothing store as well. But that’s like the only retail he’d work in, otherwise he’d feel far too “above it all”. It’s like his last option because, pretentious as he is, he wouldn’t enjoy a job where he has to “serve” people in any way - and that also includes packing their clothes in a bag behind a cash register.

Bakura, on the other hand, is much more laid back with that like,,,,, he doesn’t give a fuck as long as he gets money sgsjhs If it was up to him he wouldn’t be working at all. He’d survive by just stealing what’s necessary to live (but ofc that would be impossible - unfortunately for him). Like, less communication with people and more manual labour is what he’d pick. I can even see him working in really “easy jobs” (also because it’s easier for him to adapt as a human in society after having been a spirit for so long) like for a fast food chain or delivering the mail or even just as a dishwasher. You know... working in places where he might even get the chance to steal something >.> (i might draw him in working clothes one day 🤔 the idea really amuses me)

Now, coming to your post-work relaxing HCs:

When Malik comes home after a hard day’s work I can totally picture him complaining. And like, a lot. He wants Bakura’s full attention and he wants him to listen so he can talk and talk and complain and lament how everyone is wrong and he is right. Yk at the end of the day, he is no boss or CEO in the office or whatever working place he chooses (unless he really builds his way up but that would take a lot of time) and that in itself frustrates him. No matter how much he can keep up the illusion of being the one who orders his colleagues around, as a matter of fact he isn’t. He also has superiors to listen to and he has to collaborate with others and, because of all of his complexities and issues he had growing up, he'd low-key feel humiliated by something so mediocre. So, as soon as he gets home he has to let it all out and complain about everyone. He mostly overdoes it in his stories tho’ and is quite the drama queen for even just minor things that didn’t go as he planned at work...

Bakura kind of sees through all of this, ofc, but he’s totally here for Malik in these moments. He gives him his full attention and nods and agrees to whatever Malik says, even if he knows he’s being a tiny bit extra with his tales. But he knows Malik needs his attention and a lot of praise and reminders of how good he is. Most of all in these moments. So he complies ofc to please his distressed boyfriend.

(kinda angsty HCs:) When his working day goes really bad, there are even moments where Malik would take out his whole anger on Bakura and start accusing him of being the problem (shameless self-promo: kind of like in the beginning of my fic here) . And it’s in these moments where Bakura stops with all the sympathetic demeanour and actually fights back. Because enough is enough, and Malik has a tendency to go too far with his words and his insults at times. But even if they end up arguing it’s a coping mechanism for Malik as well to let out some of that pent up rage he’s been feeling all day. And with Bakura actually fighting back instead of just caving in, Malik gets a low-key unhealthy sense of high/satisfaction too: One, because he has Bakura’s full attention that way, and two, because he longs for that kind of conflict. He’d even go as far as provoking Bakura on purpose to rile him up and get him to direct his whole anger back at him. And Bakura never fails to put him back in his place so Malik gets exactly what he wants at the end of the day. Yes this would also lead to a lot of steamy fucking but i‘m trying to keep these HCs sfw and it’s really hard with these two sdfghjkIn Whatever their way, they make up for it at the end of the day anyway and it’s like nothing happened once the stress leaves them so, no worries.

When Bakura comes home after a hard day‘s work he hates everything. But more in a grumpy/don‘t-talk-to-me kind of way. Unlike Malik, he won‘t be complaining about his job because he doesn‘t want to waste another second thinking about it now that it‘s his free time. He won’t be mentioning the “W” from work unless it’s totally necessary. As soon as he’s done working, he wants to pretend it doesn‘t even exist and like, use every second out of work for his own personal benefit. Being a thief/cheater of rules in life, he always makes sure to do as little duty as possible and he would even be the type to falsely call in sick and do stuff like that to not work. ANYWAY (sorry for digressing) once he leaves work he wants to make the best of his time and as soon as he enters home he‘d throw himself on the sofa and take his favourite drink (beer) and make sure he‘s as relaxed as possible. He‘s also particularly needy to have Malik on his lap in these moments and would love for him to just stay close to him and cuddle and caress and touch him. Ideally he’d want Malik to be his perfect nice malewife in such moments and when Malik is in the right mood he even complies - he’d do anything to hear more praise from Bakura over how good and perfect he is and would even prepare him a nice non-vegetarian meal just to please his boyfriend.

Unlike Malik, Bakura would love to have less conflict possible in his post-work moments and craves to touch and just have Makik all to himself in his arms. But if Malik happens to be in the wrong mood as well and kind of neglects Bakura in these moments, Bakura could become petty enough to scowl and brood away for eternity. He’d be low-key/indirectly demanding that Malik makes up for it later on. And this would lead to nsfw hcs as well sfjhdj sorry Malik would be like “hey what’s up?” and Bakura would just grumble with his arms crossed and looking away. Malik would have to tip-toe his way slowly in to not let him be moody and disappointed for the rest of the day, calling him “Habibi” or “Bakura-sama” (since he adressea himself with ore-sama so gladly) to soften him up, until Bakura can’t help but let a smile form on his lips and they would end up cuddling and fucking ofc and everything is fine once again.

Idk i just really like them exactly because they seem to clash for being so different but they always find a way (sappy as it sounds) to be perfect for each other at the end <33

((I hope these were the kind of HCs you asked for 🥺 sorry if they got far too long or psychological sgksjak I wish you good good luck and i hope in future you may find something that is less stressful for you 💙💜))

#sorry am on mobile #bakumali #yami bakura #malik ishtar #bakura #marik ishtar #malik #marik #thiefshipping #bakumali hc #yugioh #ygo #icouldbesus #ask #* #ziggy talks

[luxshine]

The Great Supernatural Rewatch Project - Salvation

I started writting this in the middle of season 13 but RL and work and some mental health issues made me take a step back from fandom in general and well, I was also fearing this would be an unending job since the series JUST.KEPT. GOING.

However, now that the series is done (And omg, what a clusterfuck that was. My tallies are going to go insane if I get there) and thus there’s an ending in sight, I will do my best to finish season 1, and try and get the rest of the seasons in a more timely manner. Say, before they do the inevitable reunion and ignore the last episode completely.

(I’m going to be honest, part of the problem was that Supernatural used to be SO good back then, and when I see the new episodes I weep a bit inside. I can’t believe they were so much better at creating story arcs when they weren’t TRYING to create story arcs)

Of course, now we all know that Dean’s plots in general will not have a happy ending no matter what, and that makes that particular tally bittersweet. But there are STILL people who claim that nope, Dean was never mistreated by the writers and well, Jack damn it, I am not going to let that claim go without bringing numbers to the table. Hopefully, it won’t take me 15 years to finish (Because by then, I would be the only one caring I guess)

In any case, last lap for Season 1 and we begin with Salvation.

General stuff

A specific reason for me having rage quitted this episode in particular for so long: For some stupid copyright thing with Netflix, they don’t have Carry On My Wayward Son as the song for the final recap –at least in Netflix Latam. And Supernatural without Carry On My Wayward Son is no Supernatural. So I had to hunt my DVDs. Then my computer DVD player died. Then I decided to make 5 webcomics at the same time. THEN I decided to start doing illustration works, and three other projects and let’s just say I am a bit of a workaholic and leave it like that as the rest is not SPN-related.

Ahem.

Funny thing about the Road so Far –you know, besides being a LOT shorter than the ones we’re getting now- is that it focuses a lot more on DEAN at the beginning, while if you watch the show, well, we know most of those Dean scenes come from MoW episodes and not the actual mytharc. Another interesting thing is that if one believes those things to be chronological, it makes it as if the Colt had been with the brothers for a lot longer than half an episode, and that Sam’s issue with the visions is not that recent. Edition Magic everyone! Also, omg, they were babies when the series started, and how WEIRD is to see John looking at them with pride and smiling at Dean at some points.

Anyway, the recap and the epicness that is Carry On my Wayward Son ends and we start the actual plot.

Hello Pastor Jim. Goodbye Pastor Jim. And here Supernatural begins the long, long tradition of killing characters who could’ve been useful later on, and more importantly, that could’ve been the boys’s support system later on. While here it’s understandable since we need to show how dangerous and vicious Meg is –ah, irony that in about 8 seasons people will be rooting for her Redemption- it also makes the Hunters kind of useless. I mean, he has all that weaponry and only uses a knife? Sigh. Really, a waste. Pastor Jim as a concept was really intriguing –and I don’t think we’ve heard of any other hunter who was also a priest. Funny, when we have so many demons free now. There’s also the fact that when Pastor Jim claims that she can’t be in the church because it’s hallowed ground, she replies that “That might work with the minor leagues, but not with her” and I wonder… did we ever got a demon that couldn’t enter a church? Because right now out of the top of my head I can’t remember, and yet Pastor Jim was surprised but later no one seems to think it weird there were signs of demonic activity around his body. Another sign that, as engaging as the series was, once we start digging the world building, things fall apart very quickly.

Actually, if I may digress for a bit, here we have the very first look at Supernatural´s second biggest problem: killing support characters that may have been useful lately. Here it is because Kirkpe had this weird idea that Hunting would never be glamorized by the show/fandom and it would be a completely miserable and lonely existence. He also didn’t think that the series would survive past season 2. So, ok, killing the guy we only knew by throw away lines didn’t seem so bad. By season 13 every single recurring character had died at least once –and there were petitions to bring back I think every one of those who haven’t come back- it’s a big problem.

As I restarted writing, I also realized that the mere existence of Pastor Jim and his room of awesome research and weapons creates a problem in the future about the Men of Letters because… ok, so ONE member of the clerigy knew enough about demons and stuff to be a hunter and have THE Hunter as his main contact (John Winchester was sort of a legend back then. And he had also fell out of contact with many others so the fact that he and Pastor Jim were still friendly? Kind of interesting), but what about the rest? Did the Vatican have any contact with the British men of Letters or the American ones? And if so, what the hell did they think when suddenly ALL the Men of Letters disappeared? Ok, so that’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter right now as it won’t actually exist until much, much, MUCH latter, but see what I mean when I say that they didn’t plan anything and the lack of a series bible hurts the show more than it helped it thrive? I am realizing right now I could write a whole treaty on the Men of Letters and their non-relationship with hunters ONLY using this cold beginning and the Henry Winchester episode.

But this is not the time for that, so we get our title card and a very, VERY young Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

We move to John who is explaining off camera everything he knows about Yellow Eye´s plan. We can tell it´s not much as he thinks it came out of hibernation and that the whole attacking families is part of a cycle, but back then it was impressive how much he had managed to find out about this demon. We also know that it attacks exactly when the baby in the house is six months old, which brings us to this little jewel:

JOHN It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.

SAM Families with infants?

JOHN Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday. 

SAM I was six months old that night?

JOHN Exactly six months.

SAM So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?

DEAN We don't know that Sam.

SAM Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean.

DEAN For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault. 

SAM Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.

DEAN No it's not your problem it's our problem!

 Now, in the following seasons we will know that yes, it was ALL about Sam. But right now, the characters and the viewers don´t know that. We know that a lot of families were killed by the demon (That at this point was still “The demon” and wouldn´t become Azazael until later), and that he doesn´t take the children. So… how did Sam leap from “this demon attacks families with 6 month old children” to “It´s all about ME!”? He even ignores that Dean and John lost Mary for his last line, when he decides it´s his problem and not their problem. Also, and this is important for the “Dean is the most awful person to Sam” crowd… Dean immediately tells Sam that no, it´s not his fault. While he could harbor some ill feelings against Sam –and demon Dean, 8 seasons later, will voice them- at this point he is 100% on Sam´s side. There’s also a sideway glance from John to DEAN when Sam claims that everything is about him, and then I wonder exactly why, if John knew all about the fact that the demon chased six month old children specifically, he never resented Sam over it. One would think that given John’s love for Mary and deep desire to revenge, Sam would really be the outcast and the one only treated like a soldier (as he claims he was, but not really as we’ve seen), instead of Dean who was completely blameless in the whole thing.

(Also, this is the first time we see that Azazael´s plan didn´t make much sense IF we believed that Kirkpe had everything planned. But that´s a discussion for another time)

Anyway, John interrupts the argument to explain that while he has no idea what the demon is after (Another thing that later would be contradicted as he knew Sam had powers), but that he has managed to figure out his pattern of attack to the point that it even repeated it for Jessica’s killing (Even if much, much later, we’ll learn that it wasn’t Azazael the one who killed her, and Demons would completely forego the signs when attacking. Have I mentioned I miss the times when the myths made sense?) and the three of them pack up for their first real hunt together as they decide they will save the next baby on the demon’s list, in a town named Salvation.

Important thing to note: when John recites the demon signs, Dean immediately replies “that happened in Lawerence”. He remembers, quite clearly, what happened a week before his mother died even if logistically, at his age? He wouldn’t care nor notice. Sure, he remembers his mom’s death because that was traumatic. But random cow deaths before that? Weird show.

If Sam noticed or not the signs before Jessica died, we don’t know. John is the one who points out they happened.

After two gorgeous road shots where we see John’s truck being followed by Baby (yet another thing we lost, John’s truck. I know we needed to have the guys together all the time, but man, if Sam had inherited it, they would’ve been able to cover more terrain at times, have double the arsenal and maybe not being identified by everyone and their leviathan in season 7, but I digress), and just entering Salvation John stops, obviously spooked by something. As Dean stops behind him, they find out that Pastor Jim is dead, and John got a call from another hunter named Caleb to tell him. They assume it may be the demon they’re chasing, or maybe another demon that was looking for Pastor Jim specifically but that last theory is not very probable.

Here I have to pause to applaud Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s acting, as you can practically FEEL John’s despair at knowing an old friend of him died, and that HE was probably the cause for that death. A Winchester trait, of course, blaming themselves for everything bad that happens in their world, but unlike Sam’s early outburst, here it seems far more desperate. Of course, JDM had a lot more experience than Jared at that point, but I really wanted to make a note of it because we lost a LOT of that characterization for John, where he actually WORRIED about people and not just the hunt. Even as he decides the plan for finding out what baby the demon will take in a week, we can see him broken and confused. So much that while Sam calls him “sir” when receiving orders, Dean continues the conversation by calling him “Dad”.

John then declares that this ends now, obviously feeling responsible for what happened to his friend. A long shot from the flanderized man we’d hear about in future seasons who was infamous for letting his hunting partners die without so much as a second glance.

Also, and not to be mean to the writers, but in their endless accidentally making Sam unsympathetic, they made him say that there were too many children in the county that could be a victim and that it would take forever to check all of them. While I KNOW the intent was to make clear that they had a deadline of one week, it comes out weirdly as “I don’t want to do the footwork.” Seriously, writers should be careful with that.

Actually, let’s dissect that. Because I just thought of two ways they could’ve fixed it AND give us more info.

JOHN Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week.

SAM Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?

JOHN We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?

SAM No sir.

So, first way to make Sam not look that bad: Give the line to Dean. I wouldn’t like it specially, but hey, he’s the sidekick, not the hero, and so far he has only wanted to bail on ONE hunt because he wasn’t sure it was a supernatural hunt so he’d be better standing than Sam in that regard.

Second way: Make Sam say that YES, he has a better idea. Because the brothers ALREADY faced Max, so he could say they could look for a baby that was a bit “strange”, like, with poltergeist stuff going around. John could not believe him, but at least Sam would be being proactive.

In any case, they separate as John planned and we see each of them get into the hospital records. We get a glimpse of John’s collection of fake IDs, that include one for a Morgue forensic doctor, then Sam getting a homely nurse giving him files and him taking notes, and Dean… getting flirty with a very hot nurse.

And I make a point of the “Oh, look, Dean is an irresponsible womanizer” trope because once again the writers shoot themselves in the foot by showing the opposite of what they were telling (And no, this time I can’t blame it on Jensen’s acting and refusal to look at his female co-stars without respect).

WOMAN Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?

DEAN (smiling) Oh God yes.

She smiles and looks down.

DEAN (Holding up his ID) Only I'm uh....working right now, so...

The writers here make us remember that a) Dean is AMAZINGLY charismatic, as the woman IS flattered and seems interested, and b) That he will NOT dump his work for a quickie. We don’t even get a “maybe later” that could make him look as if he was really into her. It’s just that he flirts naturally, or at least, this is what we can infer now, as so far he hasn’t had any one night stand fling. The one time we saw him have a sexual encounter in the middle of a hunt was with an ex-girlfriend.

And again I have to wonder what was Sera Gamble’s intention with those scenes as yes, this was written by the same team as Faith, another episode where Sam’s good intentions tend to have a darker side, and gave Dean some amazingly cool scenes.

We don’t know what Dean says to the woman, as we cut back to Sam, coming out of the hospital just in time to have a very convenient vision of a woman, a nursery and a fire. Thankfully, the vision also comes with the useful audio hint of a train passing by, so Sam gets out his map and starts checking where that could be, which leads him to the house in his vision.

And by this point, we know we’re in the right track and this is an important Myth Arc episode, because Sam only has multiple visions in Myth Arc episodes, and he has one the moment he steps in front of the house in said vision. The gods of convenience smile upon him as right then and there a woman pushing a pram comes by, and he manages to talk to her, all friendly like by pretending to having just moved. Then Sam learns the woman’s name is Monica, her baby is Rosie, and Rosie is just six months old, exactly to the day.

Also, that she’s a very quiet baby and that it sometimes seems as if she was reading your mind. Oh, and that Monica really is blind to suspicious men asking her about her family with a face that reads “Oh shit, this is bad”.

Now, HERE is where the whole “five year myth arc” story falls completely. I mean, we already knew it was pretty unlikely it was real, given Kirkpe’s original interviews, but the mere existence of Rosie contradicts every single future story beat. Because if SHE has powers before Azazael goes into her house, then it means that the babies he was hunting didn’t get powers because of him, just that his blood either connected them (hence Sam’s very specific visions), made said powers far more powerful (quite likely), or made them a little bit more prone to violence/prideful behavior. All of those possibilities match with the plan of “raising” a new King or Queen of Hell, that would be faithful to Azazael, but are a bit iffy on the “finding Lucifer’s vessel” thing. Especially since we later learn that the Angels were also helping, and all Hell knew that Lucifer’s vessel HAD to come from the Winchester/Campbell bloodline due to Cain and Abel being the roots of said bloodline, and later pretty much everyone knew Sam was Lucifer’s vessel so the whole targeting a ton of kids, in particular after Mary’s death, is kinda weird.

Oh, Lux, you will say, it is because he wanted to hide his true intentions! No one knew that Sam had been feed demon blood!

Except that the important parties, namely Heaven and Hell, did. Michael had Heaven convinced of his orders, so even if a rogue angel found out that they were speed running the Apocalypse, said angel could be killed. And any demon who was against getting Lucifer back on top would be smart enough to keep quiet so, why the secrecy?

And again, ok, I buy the original demon blood kids being important to “hide” Lucifer’s vessel but… Rosie? What good would it do to Azazael’s plan to have a psychic 4 year old when Lucifer rose? Was “little four year old girl” a good match against a grown up hunter? What was Azazel thinking, if that was the plan all the time?

Now, I want to make clear this doesn’t make THIS episode or the Season-myth arc bad. This original “Boy King of Hell” storyline WAS good. It had a lot of potential, made sense for Sam and since it was before the days of the eternal “What is wrong with Sam?” seasons, there was no boredom of a repeat. It also set a very good question of what made a monster a monster, which would be explored a bit more in Season 2. And it was long before we realized Dean having a myth arc was a pipe dream, so there was no issue there either. It made sense.

But the fact that the writers kind of forgot about everything I just pointed out with Rosie’s scene to try and weld this to the “Heaven vs. Hell” storyline in season 4, and then just promptly forgot because Sam’s powers were then firmly connected to Azazael’s blood so they never came up again and even worse, we never find another psychic kid that could’ve been feed blood by Azazael THIS year that John was chasing him? (Since we know there were no other survivors from Sam’s generation, and later we have a scene that proves that there were no previous generations to Sam’s), it's kind of weird. Personally, I dunno about you, but maybe a return to this storyline in season 6 would’ve been a lot better than we got. Maybe.

By the way, I am not counting the Boy King of Hell story arc as a dropped plot for Sam yet, as we’re going to keep with this at least until season 3. Yes, now we know it didn’t go anywhere, but at the time, and for these episodes in particular, it was THE myth arc of Supernatural. So it can’t be counted as dropped plot yet.

In any case, Sam goes and tells John and Dean about his vision and… oh, boy do we have to move John’s reaction to Emotional Violence.

It’s not good.

But before he can do more damage to Dean’s psyche, Sam gets a call from our favorite demon, Meg. Even if he doesn’t recognize her voice immediately which is weird because a) he did throw her off a window and one would think that makes a girl memorable, and b) it’s not as he knows that many girls who would call him, despite Dean’s best efforts to get him a new girl.

Meg dismisses Sam and asks for John. She makes clear that she is not playing, that she knows he has the Colt and that he will kill every single person who has ever helped John unless he gives it to her that same day at midnight. And to the brothers’ surprise, John accepts those terms (Unfortunately not before we loss Caleb too. I have a lot less interest in Caleb as a character given that he has exactly half a line in the whole show, but it’s still it’s sad to see a guy so defiant even in the face of death go so soon).

Meg also points out that John having the Colt is a “declaration of war” which is interesting as it sort of implies that if he hadn’t gotten it, then the demons would leave him and the brothers alone. And I find that incredibly funny since… no they won’t. And Azazael would’ve been ok if Sam kept the gun anyway, given why they really wanted and once again I am putting holes on the idea that this was planned from the start, aren’t I?

In any case, John declares that Meg is a demon “or is possessed by one” which… ok? First and only time we get the possibility of a demon not using a meat suit. I don’t think this is a mistake, because after all, this is back before the guys faced demons in a normal basis so they could believe that they had their own bodies besides the ones they possessed (And, more importantly, before there was a retcon that made the brothers face and know about demons since pretty much ever). To be completely fair, as much as I love Jimmy and the whole Lucifer arc once it started to make sense… I would’ve been ok if vessels weren’t needed. It added a lot of complications and ended up making the brothers actual serial killers.

Ahem.

After that little gem of wisdom that will be ignored forever, John declares that he will be taking the gun to Meg to avoid more killing and we get another questionable line for Sam. And I am curious as to how to tally it as it’s the opposite of him wanting to leave the hunt, but it’s not that nice either:

DEAN What do we do?

JOHN I'm going to Lincoln. DEAN What? JOHN It doesn't look lilke we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die.

SAM Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over.

I mean, yes, it is true that the demon is coming for Monica (Well, actually, he’s coming for Rosie, the baby, but I will let that slip pass. Sam is not interested in married ladies), and that with the gun they can kill the demon but it’s not all they’ve got. By this time, Sam has already had his big hero moment when he exorcised a plane in free fall so they could do that, then chase the demon again and then kill it.

But what is jarring is how he hears “a lot of people die, OUR FRIENDS die” and he goes “yeah, whatever, we have a mission to fulfill”.

Which is precisely what later episodes will tell us John used to do, and was the reason why John was not exactly liked by the general hunter population. And at the same time, it’s an eerie reminder of Wendigo, where Sam is willing to let innocents die (his family friends, in this particular case, just as he heard Caleb choke on his own blood) in order to get his way (revenge on the demon that killed Jess. NOT revenge on the demon that killed his mom, since at this point, Sam is still on the “I never knew that woman” train of thought).

Sure, his mind is in the hunt, and that’s commendable because yes, in the long run, killing Azazael would save more innocents (And probably stop the Apocalypse, not that Sam or the writers at that time know it), but it is still strange to see our nominal hero simply not care for his friends’ lives. I mean, at this point WE don’t know about Bobby, so the closest to a parental figure that is not John that Sam had was Pastor Jim and he just DIED.

Worst part is, this could be solved really easy: Just have DEAN be the one who voices the complaint, and have “empathic” Sam mumble that there has to be a way to save everyone (Which, of course, John will mention in a second). It would make Dean look bad, sure, but we’ve been told once and again that Dean never, EVER goes against John plans. Which… not true, ut we will talk about that later. The scene continues, and John declares that he will go to Meg alone, with a fake Colt and while Dean thinks that that won’t work, Sam has a different complaint:

DEAN Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?

JOHN I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.

SAM You mean for Dean and me. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?

JOHN No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.

And oh, boy. Do this four lines again hold so much weight.

First, once again, Dean seems to be worried for John (logically, he’s their dad), while Sam is making the weirdest line in the universe sort of work because he’s complaining that John is trusting them to kill the demon, something HE wants to do and not four seconds ago was saying they had to do, as if it was John shifting HIS job to Sam. Seriously, I don’t want to think the worst of Sam but when you take out Jared’s acting, the text doesn’t do the younger Winchester’s any favors.

And finally… John’s lines that encompass pretty much Dean’s philosophy in the following seasons. “I want to stop losing people we love” is pretty telling, but what comes next? He actually WANTS Sam to go back to college and not worry about the Supernatural. He actively agrees that Dean doesn’t have a home, and WANTS Dean to have one. It’s as close as love as we’ll see from John to Dean in Season 1, and it hurts. It hurts because we can tell he knows he won’t be there to see it… and now, in hindsight with the finale having aired, we also know Dean didn’t get that. (And to be fair, this is the John who did deserve Heaven. Not the flanderized version we’d get in the future)

Although, ironically, Mary got to be alive again, so… One out of three?

(No, seriously, it’s obvious the writers didn’t even remember this speech when Season 12 hit, much less Season 15)

Ahem.

Dean is sent to get a fake Colt, while Sam and John wait for him. If they talked about anything, we don’t know, but when they exchange guns, Dean voices what we all know is true:

DEAN You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?

JOHN I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets...

DEAN Dad... JOHN What? DEAN Promise me something. JOHN What's that. DEAN This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead. JOHN Same goes for you. (There is a long pause) All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count.

SAM Yes sir.

JOHN Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?

 Again, I wish they remembered all they had to get rid of demons before, you know, killing everyone willy-nilly. I mean, I don’t even think I know what Mandalac IS but hey, John says it works, it works. And once more, Dean gets a line that makes clear he is the empathic, loving brother, when it wouldn’t have hurt Sam to say it. In fact, it would make clear that no matter what, he doesn’t hate John. But nope, Sam only acts like the soldier we’re TOLD Dean is, while Dean makes clear that for him, family is more important than revenge (And boy will that come to bite him in the ass later, not in the series, but in this same episode).

Also, I have to admit. When I started this rewatch, John’s final line was just a good moment for John to start letting go of his anger. Now? After that horrid finale? It hurts so, so much. But it hurts more because I KNOW that there’s no way it was intentional. Obviously, Kirkpe didn’t know the series would last 15 years, and I highly doubt Dabb remembered this scene when writing 15x20. But even so, it ends up being Dean’s epitaph. OUCH.

In any case, the Winchester separate again, and we go into act three. Get ready for the feels.

John Winchester hunting alone is a thing of beauty. Seeing him scope the place, check the water tank and immediately think of a plan? Makes me wish Jeffrey Dean Morgan had stayed longer on the show. Sure, John became an asshole, but in this episode he’s still not that bad, we still have no episodes that make clear he didn’t care for Dean, and wasn’t textually abusive. And I am willing to bet that if JDM had stayed, John would’ve evolved more to be a Bobby-like character. But well, What ifs is not why you came to this meta for.

As John is hunting, the brothers are staking out the house were they know Azazael will attack. And while they talk and decide that they have no way to get the family out (In a nice callback to how none of their excuses ever work) we get to this little gem of an exchange:

SAM I wonder how Dad's doing.

DEAN I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.

SAM I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Where once again we see where the brother’s priorities lie, and I wonder why the hell the writers ever thought they were writing Sam as an empathic character.

Because yes, Dean is wishing he could be out there helping his Dad, proving that for him, it has always been about the family. Not the hunting, but the protecting. But Sam doesn’t want to protect John. He wants John protecting Them. And helping them in the revenge hunt, not trying to save others.

Sure, we know the brothers are there to save an innocent mother, but John is also saving a ton of hunters and people who, in the past, were nice and open to the family. And it would’ve been so much easier to make Sam look better if he instead had said “I’d feel a lot better if we hadn’t had to separate” or something like that, that proved he saw BOTH missions were important.

Seriously, I do wonder why the writers made these choices, and I wish someone had asked this at cons.

We go back to John, who, really, Is an amazing hunter even if he is a horrible father. Also, I wonder if he got ordained at a web church, in order to be able to sanctify water. That would be such a John Winchester thing to do, and I do wonder why the boys never did it too. ANYWAY, he hands the gun to Meg, and to her ally that came so that we could have a scene to prove the Colt is fake as the ally shoots Meg.

As John says, Meg was lucky the gun was fake. And once again, I do wonder what the plan was if it WAS the Colt. I mean, Meg was Azazael’s second in command. Why would nameless demon risk killing her? Or did he kinow the gun was fake?

In any case, this makes the moment where we can be 100% sure that Meg’s meat suit 1.0 was dead. I mean, she could’ve survived the fall in Shadow, but a bullet to the chest? No way.

We go back to the brothers, and Sam breaks every single law of a procedural show by giving this great speech about how thankful he is to Dean for everything, and how he needs to say that “in case” something happened.

Dean is definitely not impressed and reminds him that the only one dying today is Azazael.

As we see John temporarily escape from Meg and her muscle boy, we go back to the brothers who see the demon omens start up so they get ready for the final fight.

The brothers manage to save Monica and her baby, despite the very understandable interference from Hubbard, the husband (I mean, you would not react nicely to two strangers intruding in your house and yelling to your wife to not go into the nursery room), however, before Sam can shoot Azazel, he disappears into smoke (A really interesting question here is, WHY did Sam wait to shoot and then wasted a bullet, but I digress).

Going completely against M.O, Azazael makes the CRIB burst into flames, but fortunately Dean has already gotten Rosie out of it so the brothers escape the flaming house. While Monica cries her thanks, Sam notices that Azazael is still inside, and tries to go after him, but Dean stops him because he is not going to lose his brother to the fire. By the way, I am not counting “Dean stopping Sam from going into a burning building” as “Dean forcing Sam to do something” since, uh, he was saving Sam’s life and it’s something anyone in Dean’s place would’ve done.

At the same time, we see John getting captured by Meg and her muscle boy because he didn’t think about getting a third escape route (But honestly? That was pretty much a plot necessity. John was HEAVILY prepared for that fight)

Back in the hotel, Dean is worried that John is not answering his calls, while Sam is furious that Dean didn’t let him kill himself by running into a burning house. They have a nasty fight that mirrors the one they had back in the pilot, but since it IS a fight between the brothers, you know the drill. We’re examining it under Violence.

Once Sam calms down, he tells Dean to try calling John again. Unfortunately, it’s Meg who answers and she tells Dean that they’re never seeing their dad again.

And we get the first “To be continued” for the series (Which to be honest, despite all the little continuity mistakes I mentioned here? Is still pretty epic)

Violence

Well, we had to run out of episodes where the brothers don’t fight each other at some point, didn’t we?

This fight, over Sam wanting to kill himself in his search for revenge, is a very neat parallel to the fight they had back in the Pilot, over Sam NOT wanting to even involve himself in the family’s search for revenge. Which I know it’s supposed to be ironic and a show of character growth since now Dean is the one saying that revenge is not worth their lives but… it falls a little bit flat because the reason why Sam is so gung-ho in killing Azazael is, once again, a very selfish one and the way in he expresses it makes it quite clear. (Again, I do wonder if the writers stopped to think about the implications of Sam only getting really into hunting when it was about him or his losses?)

But let’s start at the beginning:

SAM If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.

DEAN Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.

SAM You don't know that.

DEAN So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?

SAM Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am.

DEAN Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around.

This right here? Is a nice summary of the relationship of the brothers for the whole series. Sam wants to do something stupid, like, say, running into a burning building, Dean is there to stop him before he hurts himself.

Also, let’s make clear the use of first person by Sam. It’s not “We coulda ended this”, as in the family ending the hunt, but “I coulda ended this”. Again, at this point, not something that is a problem, but considering hindsight, we can see how the writers are completely invested in SAM as a sole main character, and write him as such, while Dean is more of the sidekick.

In any case, the argument continues, still not escalating to violence.

SAM What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.

DEAN Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.

SAM What?

DEAN I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing.

Important thing how Sam apparently forgot he left for four (two) years and wanted out of the family business, now that he is angry and into the revenge thing. It’s not “You’ve been searching for this demon your whole life”, which would’ve been correct AND a logical counterargument against Dean. Before this episode, Sam was supposedly the brother who understood that revenge was a way of living, while Dean is the one who was Daddy’s little soldier. But here, when it actually would matter to the narrative, it is as if Sam’s wishes for a normal life are completely forgotten and it’s Dean the one who understands that there’s more to living than revenge (Which, btw, is consistent through the season despite everyone claiming that Dean needs Sam to keep hunting. All season, Dean has been giving Sam outs, telling him it’s ok to quit)

And of course, Dean here proves that Sam is more important to him than revenge for his mother, as he is willing to never get to kill the demon as long as his family, his brother in particular, survives.

Poor Dean.

SAM That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.

DEAN You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.

SAM Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that.

DEAN Sam look. The three of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you or Dad....

Unfortunately, script doesn’t quiet convey the scene as there’s a LONG pause between “That thing killed Jess” and “That thing killed Mom”. Enough so that we can believe that Sam is using that second phrase not because he cares (in the Pilot he made clear he didn’t), but to make Dean get on board with the whole “I can kill myself if it means getting revenge” plan. In other words, once again, Sam is weaponizing Mary against Dean, and that is a really nasty habit the younger Winchester never quite shakes out of. Instead, Dean shows how he LISTENED to Sam back in the Pilot and repeats Sam’s words to him on the bridge.

Which is when Sam loses it and pushes Dean against a wall, Dean not defending himself at all, and yells that Dean has no right to say what Sam told Dean the very first hunt they had together after years of separation.

And of course, once Dean mentions their father, Sam starts calming down. NOT when Dean says that he’s barely holding it together, or that he only has them.   Just when he mentions their father who is, in Sam’s mind, the one who can help him get revenge.

The fight ends, but Sam never once apologizes for what he said to Dean, nor for the fight. Which, by the way, contradicts his claim that Dean “always has his back”.

Emotional Violence

Whenever we have John on an episode, we’re going to have to talk about emotional violence and I kind of hate that because on one hand, I get how John could’ve been a very tragic figure that loved his sons but still wanted to avenge his wife, and not being the abusive bastard we know and don’t love that much.

When Sam and Dean explain about Sam’s visions, and how they started as nightmares but have grown in intensity, his reaction is quite subdued, but clear. He is not happy, but the problem isn’t the visions –for a man obsessed with the supernatural, his outward reaction to his younger son being a psychic is quite calm- but that they didn’t inform him of what was going on:

JOHN All right. When were you going to tell me about this?

DEAN We didn't know what it meant.

JOHN All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.

DEAN dumps the coffee jug and cup back on the counter and strides toward JOHN.

DEAN Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery.

JOHN You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.

And let’s be clear, John’s anger is not directed at Sam, it’s directed at Dean. “Something like this starts happening to your brother” is not “Something like this starts happening to either of you”. Which is also a show of how good an actor JOHN is in universe because WE know that he knew. Missouri TOLD him point blank that Sam was powerful and that he could have known that John was around during the Home episode. But here, he acts as if this was news to him when he could ALSO have told them what to expect if that happened. (Mind you, I am assuming that Sera Gamble knew or remembered about Home’s script when writing this and didn’t just forget or was unaware that John was supposed to know)

Now, all season, Sam has been complaining and yelling about how John doesn’t answer their calls, doesn’t seem to care what’s going on with them. So it’d be logical and in character for Sam to say something here. But instead is DEAN, Dad’s little soldier, the one we’ve SEEN obeying John without question finally have enough and talk back to his father with some truths. And it’s VERY interesting that his first complain is not that John didn’t care that Dean almost died, but that he didn’t reply when Dean called from Lawrence. One could almost infer that Dean expected John not to care if Dean died, but was honestly hurt that he didn’t care about a case that could’ve involved MARY.

John, surprisingly, sort of agrees. He does say “I’m sorry”, which makes him the Winchester who is quicker to say those words… but he still manages to make a threat against Dean “I am not too crazy about this NEW tone of yours”.

Making it clear that before? Dean never talked back. And John doesn’t like it when his soldiers talk back.

It makes it hard to believe John ever thought of Dean as his son and makes it very clear why Dean never understood Sam’s confidence that Dean was the favored one.

Speeches and Apologies

I considered not including this particular speech, but then I remembered that Supernatural is ALSO famous for their big emotional speeches, and this is Sam’s first, and also, Dean’s first time listening to someone he cares about give him the “I am saying goodbye because I am going kamikaze” speech and after all the drama in season 15, I guess it’s necessary to do some dissection.

It is important that despite all the things that Sam has done to Dean, the words “I’m sorry” are never uttered here.

SAM Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. DEAN For what? SAM For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case DEAN Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? SAM What? DEAN Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?

 This is not a bad “freaking speech”. I understand why Dean didn’t want to hear it, because it is like jinxing the mission (And, let’s be honest, it did), but it’s not a bad speech.

Except that, reading it again, it lacks one important part. Sure, Sam thanks Dean for always being there (Forgetting that, at least three times this season alone, he has accused Dean of not having his back and being unreliable. Which will ALSO be a constant theme in the series’s long run), but he never mentions the times HE did things that would be hard to back up. Which, again, I am not counting as a bad thing against him in this precise moment in time, since he is young, in his roaring roadtrip of revenge, and we’ve only know the brothers for a year, but it is the beginning of a series’ long crutch to make us forgive all of Sam’s sins without him actually doing the work to be forgiven.

On the other hand, it all goes to waste a bit later when Sam starts hitting Dean for the horrible sin of not letting him run into a burning building and kill himself so… it’s not really a “thank you for having my back” speech but a “You better remember, you never fight me and my choices are the best” speech in hindsight. Which… not good on Sam, no.

Double narrative standards

This episode is kind of balanced, except for that little moment where we’re supposed to think Dean is wrong for telling Sam that revenge is not worth their lives. So there’s not much to write in this particular segment.

Final Tally

Ok, back in the saddle. And after all that, I decided not to tally Sam’s little slip about not caring if their loved ones die as long as he gets to kill Azazael. Let me know if you disagree.

The count is still not good on Sam’s side, but as always, you are free to disagree with me, and dm me if you think I missed a tally or I should change one. If your argument is solid and canon based, I will listen to it and may change the numbers.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 1 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 4

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 0 / 13

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 1 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 1 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

#Supernatural rewatch project #Salvation #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #not very Sam positive #John Winchester #Season 1 #Season 1 episode 20 #SPN #Supernatural meta

[silverlightqueen]

Filter - Part 2

‘There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track.’

fratboy/jock!Jimin x cheerleader!reader - e2l, smut, a n g s t, comedy, fluff 

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 16.6k+ (she’s a monster omg I’m so sorry)

Warnings - bad language, humiliation (not during sex - he just embarrasses the hell out of her in public), alcohol, drug consumption, explicit discussion of sex, locker room sex, y/n being a brat again, jimin being a dick again (but worse,,,so much worse), dom!jimin, sub!y/n, teasing, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, tit fucking, tit slapping, Jimin’s monster cock makes a return, praise, explicit dirty talk, mild degradation, exhibitionism, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, standing sex, asphyxiation, y/n and jimin argue again (multiple times), Jimin is literally the worst human being on earth in this omg I’m sorry for making him terrible, somehow I ended up putting a comment on society and the patriarchy (?) at the end but we go with it, girl power! and if your kpop boy is in this, he’s trash (unless he’s Stray Kids Minho, the only male character in this that deserves rights)

a/n: unedited lol and this really didn’t go the way it was supposed to, but I don’t hate it so here ya go, enjoy! I think in this lockdown, I’ve really started to,,,,hate men and it shows in this fic so I’m sorry to any boys that might be reading this lmao. but anyway thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess​ for proofreading this, you’re the best hype girl ever, luv u xoxo (and I promise I’ll work on The Other Half for you and @brinnalaine​ ) lmk what you think of it, I legit thrive off praise lol x

Read Part 1 first !!!

also I got the banner off google so credit to whoever made it (it has no relevance to the story but it matches the colour scheme so we roll with it lmao)

silverlightqueen masterlist

‘Good afternoon, everyone, and thank you so much for coming. We really appreciate the turn-out, and we’re super excited to see your try-outs! Today is going to be quite simple; we’ll start by speaking to you one-by-one to see the range of movements that you can do. Not everyone on the squad has to be able to fly and tumble, so don’t be worried if you can’t do certain flips or jumps – we try to include people of all abilities as long as the raw talent is there, and you’ll be able to learn a lot if you make the squad. Once we’re aware of what you can do, we’ll group you into smaller groups and teach you a simple routine, a slightly different one for each group. We’ll watch you perform the routine as a group after some practice time, and then we’ll assess your Cheer ability one by one, just a couple flips and jumps and things like that. If you really would rather not do them by yourself, that’s okay. Just let one of the squad know, and we’ll pair you with someone else who feels the same. We understand that some of you may not feel confident enough to perform in front of everyone else by yourselves. And it’s okay if you don’t have much confidence, because that’s something we will work on and help you to improve if you make the squad. Does anybody have any questions?’

Dozens of hopeful faces smile back at me, not one hand rising to ask a question, and I smile back. I was nervous about my first time doing this, speaking in front of everyone as newly elected Cheer Captain, but having the rest of the squad behind me makes me feel better. ‘Okay, great. If you could get into four lines in front of each of the seats at the desk, we’ll get started!’ I say excitedly. Irene, Jisoo, Chen and Jihyo (the most responsible people on the squad) are sat behind the desk to write down what people are able to do, the others on the squad dotted around to help if anyone needs it, and all the people here to try-out head over to the desk. I take a moment to take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and I tilt my head back to feel the sun on my face. The weather’s lovely today, warm and sunny with a slight cool breeze, perfect for cheer try-outs, and the turf of the pitch is healthy and green, not yet ruined by the studs on the bottom of the players’ football boots (training doesn’t start ‘til next week).

‘y/n, relax, babe. Everything’s going well, you did a good job,’ Jennie says from behind me, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, and I nod. ‘Yeah, I know. It’s just… being Cheer Captain, it’s big boots to fill.’ ‘I know, but you’ve got all of us helping you out. You know we’re all here to support you. Stop stressing yourself out,’ she says, and I turn to smile at her. ‘Thank you, Jen.’ ‘Don’t thank me, because now I’ve got bad news,’ she says, looking reluctant to speak, and I side-eye her. ‘What?’ ‘We have spectators.’ ‘We always have spectators.’ ‘That’s not what I meant,’ she says, turning me to look over to the bleachers which are a few metres away. And when I spot a group of ASP boys sat there, watching us and waving when I look over, my heart nearly stops. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding,’ I mutter, putting my hand up to shield my eyes from the sun and see them properly. And of course he’s there. Of course he is.

I haven’t seen him since a week ago today, when I ran out of his room while he was fast asleep and did the most talked about ‘Walk of Shame’ at school in the past year. All week, everyone’s been talking about me and Jimin, and somehow the rumours have spiralled out of control. My friends have reported back that they’ve heard that Hoseok and Namjoon joined us when they walked in on us, that I left before Jimin could finish, that I cried and begged him to let me cum (which my friends have denied on my part despite it being kinda true) and that I left wearing no underwear and flashed everyone on my way out. And that’s not even the worst of the rumours. I’ve tried not to comment on it when people have asked me, and it seems Jimin’s stayed quiet too – I’m sure it would’ve been hot news if he’d said anything.

I woke up the next morning aching, my entire body sore and weak (I really have no idea how I managed to leave the frat house on my feet – it must have been the adrenaline). My neck, jaw and chest were covered in purpling marks, some of them in the shape of his rings, and my waist and ass were covered in dark painful bruises from his tight grip and the endless spanking (the marks and bruises are all still there, by the way, fading but there – I had to cake the makeup on top of them this morning to cover them in my skimpy cheer kit). It hurt to sit down for too long, but it hurt to walk too, so I spent all of Sunday lying down, Jennie nursing me back to health (as she calls it – in reality, she just microwaved some soup for me, and we binge-watched Netflix in bed together). My body isn’t used to intense sex like that because not many university boys are as good at sex as Jimin is. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been zoning out all week (during lectures and seminars, when I was with my friends, at the gym, whilst studying or watching TV, when I was trying to fall in sleep, whilst showering, etc.) thinking back to mind. And I hate it – I hate him. I used to think of him with irritation and borderline rage, but now… the thought of him turns me on. It’s infuriating. I haven’t even gone over to get my stuff – not even my favourite bra (it was sexy and comfy, lacy with no underwire) – for fear of falling back under his stupid spell and getting into his bed again.

When my eyes meet his, it’s like he knows that I’m wet, a small smirk playing at his glossy lips as he runs a vascular hand through his jet-black locks, silver rings glinting in the sunlight. He looks fucking gorgeous, in a pair of loose black slacks and a loose orange shirt, a simple but flattering outfit, with his silver earrings, rings and bracelets. And the irritation inside me pushes down the arousal, and I turn away angrily, hearing their laughter over my shoulder as my eyes meet Jennie’s. ‘I can go speak to them if you want?’ she offers weakly, and I sigh. ‘There’s nothing we can say; they’re allowed to be here. We’re just gonna have to ignore them,’ I say, and she nods, throwing an arm over my shoulders and leading me towards the table.

I oversee the proceedings, making sure everything’s going well, my mind still elsewhere, but after a few minutes, the noise they’re making is unbearable. They’re loud – laughter and shouting echoing around the pitch – and it’s starting to distract the squad, and the people here to try-out. ‘Should I go tell them to shut up?’ Jennie asks, and I nod, reluctant to go over myself. She walks over, hands on her hips, and I know she’s gonna give them hell. But then I start to doubt that when I see them laughing and joking with her, before she comes back over, my expectant gaze being met by her sheepish one. ‘Well?’ I ask, and she winces. ‘They said they don’t take orders from me – only from… the Cheer Captain,’ she says slowly, and I let out a noise of irritation. Jimin being an annoying, difficult, stupid dickhead, I can understand. The others? I thought they were my friends. But obviously they find this whole situation more amusing than anything. It’s not funny for me – I slept with the guy I’m supposed to hate the most! The guy that I do hate the most.

‘I really don’t want to go over there,’ I admit, and Jennie’s eyes soften with sympathy. ‘You don’t have to, y/n, don’t feel pressured. We can cope with their noise – it’s fine, babe,’ she says reassuringly, but I feel guilty. I remember how nervous I was at try-outs, and having a group of rowdy frat boys laughing and shouting every few seconds definitely wouldn’t have helped. It’s up to me as Captain to create a comfortable environment, and with them around, this isn’t comfortable at all. I sigh, shaking my head, before I say, ‘I’ll go.’ ‘Are you sure?’ she asks, and I nod, dread building up inside me. ‘Want me to come with?’ ‘No, you just stay and keep an eye on things.’

I begin walking over, eyes fixed on the ground, and I can literally feel their eyes on me, their anticipation practically palpable. Everyone sat around the pitch is whispering, watching, desperate to see Jimin and I interact after all the rumours of the last week, and I can feel it all, making my nerves build up with every step. When I’m a few feet away from the bleachers, I look up, my eyes instantly meeting his, and I stop, staring at them for a moment. He’s endlessly amused, the smirk on his lips unbearably irritating. ‘Hey, y/n,’ he says easily, a ripple of laughter running around the group, and I don’t reply, matching his light gaze with a hard stare of my own. ‘This isn’t funny, guys, and I would’ve thought you’d know better. How do you think they’re gonna feel when they’re doing their routines and you morons are laughing? None of you can do what they’re doing, not in a million years, so don’t you dare come and sit here to rub my personal life in my face without even thinking of how rude and disruptive you’re being. You should be ashamed,’ I say neutrally, not letting any emotion into my voice, because if I do, I’ll lose my temper completely like I did last week and end up screaming at them. The other boys have the courtesy to look embarrassed of themselves, but Jimin just continues to smirk at me, running his thumb over his plump lips. My insides churn with anger at him being such a dick, but I don’t say a thing, waiting for one of them to reply. ‘Sorry, y/n. We didn’t think,’ Jin says, apologetic, and the others mutter apologies too, all except Jimin. ‘Don’t apologise. Just shut up,’ I reply before turning on my heel, walking away and ignoring the indiscernible whispers and stifled laughter.

‘Whatever you said, it definitely worked,’ Jennie says, and I nod curtly, still pissed off. ‘You okay?’ she asks, and my shoulders slump. ‘No. I’m supposed to be the Captain, I’m supposed to be nice and smiley and kind, and now I’m just angry, because of them, because of him,’ I sigh tiredly, and Jen looks at me sadly before putting an arm around my shoulders. ‘Don’t let them get you worked up, babe – today’s important, okay? Just focus on the try-outs,’ Jennie says, and I nod, trying my best to let my annoyance go, but it’s easier said than done. I wait impatiently for the first part of today to be done, desperate to have something to do so I can distract myself. And as soon as the last person has finished speaking to Jisoo, I call for everyone’s attention, telling them to start warming up. I sit down with Irene, Jisoo, Jihyo and Chen, and we quickly put people in similar-ability groups, based on the notes that the four of them have made whilst speaking to them; potential flyers, bases and spotters, and tumblers. The routines aren’t too different – just to test their dancing ability, and to see if they have the kind of body control needed for their different positions.

Once we’ve grouped them, Irene reads out the groups, the flyers with Lisa and Seulgi, bases and spotters with Kai, and tumblers with Momo, the rest of the squad supporting. I take a seat at the desk, making notes on people who catch my eye (they’re all wearing little name stickers, so I send Jennie over to find out their names). Jiwon, the pretty sophomore from last week, is really good – her dancing is great, and she’s light on her feet, the perfect flyer. I’m already certain she’ll make the team, because she’s super smiley and energetic too (I wave at her when I catch her eye, and she waves back excitedly, huge smile on her face). Watching them all learning the dances, making notes, evaluating them, it gets me in the zone. Focusing on this, I’m in my Captain mindset, having completely forgotten about the stupid disruption earlier. There’s definitely some potential here, and I have no doubt we’ll do really well at Nationals this year – I’ll be pissed if we don’t come first (and I’ll also be the first Captain in ten years that doesn’t lead us to victory, which is a pretty big deal).

Once they’ve learnt their dances, we split each group in half so there are less people to focus on, and they perform the dances to us. They’re all quite good – there’s a couple people who, bless them, will definitely not make the team, and I feel bad, but I have to be ruthless. It’s my job to make sure I give us the best chance at winning. We give them a little break after they’ve performed, and we all sit together to compare notes. We’ve pretty much all put the same people down, but we can’t make any final decisions until we watch them do their Cheer moves. ‘Okay, is everybody ready?’ I ask after getting their attention. ‘We’re going to have a look at your moves now. So they’re pretty basic, nothing too strenuous. Can someone show them what they’ve got to do?’ I say, turning to face the squad, and before anyone can speak, Kai says, ‘y/n, you should. You’re the captain after all.’ I return his mischievous grin with a hard stare, but the others all give various agreements, pushing me to show them. ‘I haven’t even warmed up,’ I mutter, everyone laughing.

‘Okay, we’ll start with a basic standing split. So, you just lift your leg, whichever your better leg is, and bring it right up like this, with your arm in front of it, and hold it there for a few seconds,’ I say, my left leg up against my body, my right arm holding my foot above my head. It’s a little painful because I haven’t warmed up, but I’ve done this move enough times that it’s pretty easy. I hear applause a little distance away, knowing it’s those stupid boys, and then everyone trying out starts clapping too, making me drop my leg and laugh embarrassedly. ‘Okay, thanks, guys, you can stop now,’ I say lightly, and everyone starts laughing. I show them all of the other moves – a full split, a pike jump, a toe touch jump, a hurdler jump, a front flip, a back flip and an aerial, getting applause for each movement, triggered by our idiot spectators. ‘So we’ll call you up one-by-one, unless you’ve asked us to go with someone else, and we’d like you to a show us a clasp, a high V, a T motion, and then go into the moves that you’re confident with. Show us your personality – we want bright and bubbly people on the squad, so don’t be afraid to chant or whatever, if you want to,’ I say as I take my seat behind the desk, Irene, Chen, Jihyo, Jisoo and Jennie sat with me, the rest of the squad sat around on the grass, enjoying the warmth and just watching the proceedings.

After a couple of people, it starts to get repetitive, but I remain focused, knowing I need to pay attention to differentiate between the good and the great. Jiwon is fantastic – she’s making the team without a doubt. Once they’re all done (nearly two hours later), I call them all over to sit beside the desk. ‘Thank you all so much for coming, and well done. What you did takes a lot of courage and you should all be so proud of yourselves, whether you make the squad or not. We’ve got your details from earlier, so we’ll be in contact within the next couple days to let you know if you made it. Thank you, and you are free to go,’ I smile, all of them letting out expressions of gratitude as they get up, heading to the bleachers to get their stuff and go. ‘Jiwon!’ I call, the girl turning to look. ‘Can I have a word?’ I say, the girl telling her friends to wait for her as she walks towards me. I head over to her, and we meet in the middle of the pitch, with no-one around. I don’t want anyone to hear and accuse me of favouritism.

‘Hey, y/n.’ ‘Hi, Jiwon. You did a really good job, definitely shone through. You’re fantastic,’ I say, and she smiles shyly. ‘Thank you. I have been cheering for a long time, though, so I did have an advantage,’ she says humbly, and I wave it off. ‘Don’t give me excuses – just accept the compliment. Anyway, I probably shouldn’t say this, but you caught a lot of our eyes, Jiwon. I’m pretty certain you’ll make the squad. First practice is next Saturday, 2 ‘til 4, and we’re just gonna do an introductory session, get to know one another and have a proper look at what everyone can do. Make sure you’re on time, and ready to try out some stunts. And work on your pike jump over the week – your fingers were literally millimetres away from your toes. A little practice, and you’ll have it perfect. And you were the teeniest bit wobbly in your standing split, so just work on your balance a little,’ I say, and she nods enthusiastically, taking in every word. Whilst I’m speaking, I notice Jimin approaching us, and Jiwon does too, looking flustered when she spots him. But she sees the way I ignore him completely, and does the same, just listening to me.

‘Thank you, y/n, I really appreciate it. Also, can I ask for your advice about something?’ she asks, and I nod, surprised she wants my advice. Jimin is now stood right beside us, but neither of us pay attention to his presence, keeping our eyes on each other. ‘What do you do to warm up for your splits? I warm up, but it’s always painful when I do them, and you did them really well, so I thought I’d ask.’ ‘I do a lot of yoga, actually, which really helps. We always get here around twenty minutes before practice, and the others do laps and things like that to warm up, but I do a bit of yoga, which helps loosen my body a lot. And then, just before I start a routine, I bend in half, and hold my head against my shins for like half a minute, to loosen my legs. It’s a little painful, but it gets your legs ready for the stretch that you feel when you’re in the splits,’ I say, and she listens eagerly to every word. His presence is starting to bother me, especially the way he’s completely silent, a stupid smirk on his face. ‘Thank you, y/n. I’m gonna head off now, but thanks for the advice. Are you going to KPN’s party tonight?’ she asks, and I sigh, thinking back to the text invite that Jackson from Kappa Phi Nu sent out a couple days ago. ‘I’m not sure. I was gonna just head to the gym for a late-night workout but Jennie’s trying to convince me to go,’ I explain, and she nods. ‘Well, I hope you do come. It’d be nice to see you there,’ she says, and I smile at her, touched. And then I lose my patience, turning to him with annoyance, and he grins, draping his arms around our waists.

‘My two favourite girls,’ he says with a grin, making me want to slap him, and we both push his arms off us in disgust, moving away from him slightly. ‘Look at you two. Best friends now, huh? If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even know each other, so I think a ‘thank you’ is in order,’ he says smugly, my eyes widening at him as Jiwon shoots him a dirty look. God, I love this girl. ‘Fuck you, Park,’ I say without thinking, and his eyes sparkle, mischief in his grin as he replies, ‘I already did, babe, keep up.’ And then he reaches into his back pocket, pulling his hand back out with something black and lacy hanging off his finger. My favourite bra. ‘Remember? You left this?’ ‘Park!’ I hiss, grabbing it from his hand and panicking for a moment, not sure where to put it (my cheer kit doesn’t have pockets) before I tuck it into his front pocket hastily. It’s too late, though, because everyone in the area who was watching saw it, laughter rippling around us. ‘I would’ve brought your pants too, but they were ripped, so I figured there was no point,’ he says, and I give him an angry stare, jaw hurting from how hard I’m clenching it. He just grins back, Jiwon looking between us for a few seconds before she says, ‘my friends are waiting for me, y/n, so I’m gonna go. I hope to see you later.’ ‘Okay, Jiwon. See you. Remember to work on your pike jump, and your standing splits. If you get here early, we can do some yoga together,’ I say, trying to push down the humiliation as the girl nods with a smile before she goes to join her friends who are watching us. Everyone’s watching us.

‘Your standing splits were good,’ he says, and I sigh, rolling my eyes. ‘I’m literally giving you a compliment!’ ‘I don’t care, you fucking dick.’ ‘Wow, never mind. I was gonna say that I could put your flexibility to good use, but forget it,’ he says, failing to hold back his grin, and I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Why the fuck did you come, Park? I thought I made it clear last week that I’m not interested in you,’ I say harshly, hurt momentarily appearing on his face before he masks it with a smirk, making me feel a little guilty. ‘We always come to watch try-outs. Entertainment for a couple hours. And it doesn’t hurt seeing you in this kit either,’ he says, taking the hem of my skirt into his hand, fingers momentarily skimming against my thigh, and I slap his hand away, feeling exposed in my kit all of a sudden. It’s quite revealing – a short blue skirt with a white border and a long-sleeved blue cropped top with shoulder cut-outs, with our school name written across the chest in white. It’s super cute though, even more so with the white pumps and frilly white ankle socks, and the blue and white bows on our ponytails. The boys wear the same colour scheme, blue and white t-shirts and shorts.

‘I swear to God, Park, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit today,’ I say tiredly, and he pouts, eyes still sparkling with amusement. ‘You were last week.’ ‘Things change. You can go now,’ I say pointedly, and he grins, taking a step closer to me, so close I can see every flaw on his face that he doesn’t have, and places a gentle hand on my waist. ‘I’ll go, but one last thing. I’ve gotta go drop my shit off in the changing rooms – Coach said we all have to, ready for next week – and I’ll wait in there for… hmm, shall I be nice? Okay, ten minutes. If I know you as well as I think I do, you’ve been thinking about me, and what happened last Saturday, all week long. I have. And I want a round two. I’ll wait for ten minutes,’ he says, voice low and face serious, before his whole demeanour changes, smile stretching his lips, hand falling from my waist as he takes a step back. My lips are parted and face warm, eyes locked with his, and my obviously affected appearance makes him let out a chuckle. ‘Ten minutes, angel. If not, I’ll see you tonight, at KPN, and you can get your bra from me there instead,’ he says with a smile, before turning and walking away, leaving me slightly stunned.

‘Close your mouth, babe, you’ll catch flies,’ Jennie says drily, and I turn to look at her, trying to compose myself. ‘He just asked me for a round two in the changing rooms,’ I whisper, and she gasps loudly, catching the attention of everyone around us. ‘Shut up!’ I hiss, and she claps a hand over her mouth. ‘Sorry, sorry. I’m just… shook. Are you gonna go?’ she asks, and I hesitate to answer, his dark eyes in my mind, my underwear embarrassingly damp. ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Bitch, stop kidding yourself – you want to, so just go,’ she says, but before I can reply, Kai joins us. ‘Um, y/n, there are a couple people waiting to ask you some questions,’ he says, and I sigh, looking over his shoulder to see some people hovering. I quickly rush over to them, listening to their questions (which are so unnecessary, might I add? Why do you need to know where to get the uniform from, or the date of Nationals this year, if you’re not even on the squad yet?) and answer them as quickly as I can, trying to be polite, but impatient, worried that my ten minutes will run out.

As soon as the last person’s done, Jennie grabs my arm and whispers, ‘it’s been nine minutes. I’ll pack stuff up, you just go.’ ‘Thank you, you’re the best,’ I whisper back. I rush off, speed walking across the pitch before someone can stop me, in the direction of the changing rooms. When I reach the door, I push it open slowly, listening out for any voices. And then I wonder – is this a prank? Is this payback for me leaving him last week? Are they all gonna be waiting there to jump out and laugh at me? But, no. He wouldn’t. Surely, he wouldn’t stoop that low? ‘Jimin?’ I whisper, hearing nothing back, and I venture in. ‘Jimin?’ I say a little louder, walking down the main aisle slowly, looking between the rows of lockers on either side of me. I call his name again, and when I reach the end of the lockers, stepping out into the open changing area, a wooden bench running around the walls, I feel a pair of hands push me up against the last locker, the metal clang echoing loudly around the room as I try to get my bearings, blinking to see Jimin stood in front of me, his body pressed up against mine.

‘You took eleven minutes, you fucking tease,’ he whispers, hand appearing at my throat and tightening instantly, my mind momentarily thinking back to last week, when he left bruises the shape of his rings around my neck. ‘Didn’t mean to. Got held up,’ I breathe out, and he pushes my head back at an unnatural angle, his dark eyes, blown wide with desire, locking with my own. ‘How can I believe you, after you left last week?’ he spits out, and I feel my stomach turn; I didn’t think he’d be that bothered, but it’s obvious he’s angry that I left him. ‘Never said I’d stay,’ I reply, with a small grin, and he growls angrily, pushing up against me even harder. ‘You’re the first girl that’s ever left without me telling her to. Trying to play me at my own game?’ he asks, amusement creeping into his voice, but he’s mainly angry, veins corded tight and body tense, fist curled and jaw clenched. ‘No. I just don’t like you,’ I reply, voice strained because of his hand tight at my neck, head beginning to go dizzy, and he lets out a humourless laugh.

‘Sure. Of course you don’t. Let’s see how much you don’t like me,’ he says, free hand pushing one of my legs out wider, so he has space to put his hand up my skirt. His finger slides beneath my tight safety shorts, and he lets out a laugh when he feels how wet my underwear is, making me look away from him in embarrassment. ‘Look at me,’ he demands, my eyes flitting back to his as he pushes my pants out of the way, swiping a finger along my dripping wet slit. I let out a shaky breath, and he chuckles. ‘I think you’re lying to me, angel. I think you actually do like me. A lot,’ he grins as he pulls his hand from my skirt, lifting his finger, glistening with my arousal, to my mouth. I keep my lips pressed shut, and he raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make me punish you. This isn’t a repeat of last week – there’s other things I want to do to you,’ he says lowly, a thrill running through me, but I’m still as stubborn as last week. ‘I’m not here for a round two. I’m here for my bra,’ I exhale, and he rolls his eyes with a little laugh, his hand tightening at my neck. ‘You can earn it.’ ‘What is it… with you stealing my… things?’ ‘I didn’t steal anything. You left your bra when you did your little walk of shame. So it’s mine now – it’s been in my room for a week, with your tight jeans and your pretty top and those cute heels, and that little bag, with your keys and lip-gloss and pads in it. And because it’s all mine, I want you to earn it back,’ he replies before leaning down and pressing his lips to my ear, his beautiful scent flooding my senses.

‘Let me fuck your tits,’ he whispers, making my stomach clench with the thought of it, before he pulls back from me, searching my face for any kind of reaction. ‘And they say romance is dead,’ I whisper dryly, and he laughs, a startled laugh, as though he wasn’t expecting a joke from me. It makes my heart flutter a little, which then makes me want to slap myself. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asks with a mischievous grin. ‘No. It isn’t,’ I reply, and he sighs before letting go of me. ‘Fine. Let’s just talk then, if you don’t wanna fuck,’ he says neutrally, sitting down on the bench opposite me, and I’m disarmed at his sudden 180. ‘Sit down, y/n,’ he says, motioning to the bench and, for once, I listen to him, sitting down. He leans back against the wall and runs a hand through his hair, legs spread, thick thighs on display. Last week, the lighting from his bedroom lamp was low and sultry, but the lighting in here is bright and cold, and he still looks fucking gorgeous.

‘Who did you tell?’ he asks, and I know he’s asking what I’ve been wondering all week – who actually knows the full story. ‘Who did you tell?’ I ask, purposely being difficult, and he rolls his eyes, grin pulling at his lips. ‘Hobi and Tae are the only ones that know the full story. Jin, Yoongi, Joon and Kook know vaguely. Now tell me who you told,’ he says, and I’m surprised he’s kept it only to his closest friends – I thought for sure the whole frat would know. ‘y/n. Who did you tell?’ Nayeon, Lisa, Mina, Irene, Dahyun, Yeri, Jeongyeon, Seulgi, Sana, Jisoo, Chaeyoung, Joy, Momo, Wendy, Jihyo, Tzuyu and- ‘Jennie.’ ‘That’s it? Just Jennie?’ ‘And.. a couple of the other girls.’ He raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. ‘Did you tell them everything?’ ‘Only Jennie knows about me leaving when you… wanted me not to,’ I say, and he nods, looking a little embarrassed, and I feel so guilty, but I had to. ‘Why did you do it?’ he asks quietly, and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment. ‘Because… we’re supposed to hate each other, and we had sex, Jimin. I couldn’t share a bed with you after that, I just… couldn’t.’ ‘Would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he asks, and I sigh, not wanting him to ask these questions, not wanting him to entertain this possibility. Because Jimin’s the type of boy to want what he can’t have, and as soon as I let him have me, more than just physically, he won’t want me anymore.

I get up and walk over to him, his eyes on me, and when I’m stood right in front of him, in between his legs, I drop to my knees. ‘y/n,’ he says slowly, as though he wants me to wait, but I can’t talk about this right now. ‘Shut up,’ I say before pulling my top over my head and throwing it behind me, leaving me in my bra. He’s quickly distracted, eyes lost in my chest, and I can see the bulge in his jeans growing already. I lift a hand to his crotch, palming him over his jeans, and his head falls back, a little moan falling from his lips. ‘Please, y/n, don’t tease,’ he breathes out, and I clench involuntarily at getting him like this. ‘Take your jeans off,’ I whisper, and he quickly unbuttons and unzips them, holding himself up from the bench and pushing them down with his underwear, just enough to free his cock. He’s only half-hard, but he’s already big, girthy and long, making me lick my lips at the sight of him. He tugs on his length a couple times to get himself fully hard, letting out little grunts, and I feel more arousal dampen my underwear. After a few seconds, I push his hands away, taking his length into my hands, and he shuffles forwards on the bench, giving me proper access to his cock.

I collect my saliva up on my tongue and spit at his dick, the saliva landing on his tip and slowly dripping down his length. I use my hand to spread it out before I take his swollen head into my mouth, kitten licking the tip before swirling my tongue around him. He pulls my bow out of my hair and grabs my ponytail, but restrains himself from trying to control my movements, letting me take my time with him. I don’t wait long before I’m taking him as far into my mouth as possible, before slowly bobbing my head up and down his length. ‘God, angel, your mouth is so fucking good. So good for me, such a dirty girl,’ he praises, head back against the wall but eyes on me, and when I look up at him through my lashes, he grins down at me. I hollow out my cheeks, trying to get my lips around the base of his cock, but my jaw is already hurting from my mouth being around his thick length. ‘Get me all the way in, baby, I know you can,’ he prompts, and I try my hardest, gagging around him, and it’s so fucking messy, saliva around my mouth and dripping down my chin. He decided to help, pushing my head even further down, and when my nose hits his skin, his abdomen contracts, a heavenly moan of my name falling from his lips.

Once I deem his cock sufficiently wet, I remove him from my mouth and reach behind me to unclasp my sports bra, pulling it off, feeling satisfied when his eyes are locked on my breasts. ‘Stand up,’ I say, and he does so, quickly, moving aside to let me sit on the bench. I perch on the edge, knees together, and Jimin stands in front of me, one leg on either side of mine. ‘Push your tits together for me, angel,’ he says, and I do so, the boy moving even closer to me. I feel his head against the bottom of my breasts, wet and hard, before slowly pushing up, breath catching in his throat as he goes as far as he can, his pink tip emerging through my cleavage. ‘Fuck, that feels good. Hold them tighter, babe,’ he says, and it starts to hurt when I do so, but the pleasure on his face as he thrusts, fucking my tits aggressively, more than makes up for it. I spit down into the valley of my breasts, for better lubrication, and he lets out a moan, thrusting even harder. And then he lifts a hand, landing a slap on one of my breasts. ‘Um, ow,’ I say, and he lets out a little chuckle, his thrusting not faltering for a moment. ‘So soft. Best tits I’ve ever seen,’ he says, landing a slap on the other, and I stop myself from slapping his balls because I don’t want to kill his vibe. And he’d probably enjoy it, the kinky bastard. I look down to see precum leaking from his tip, and I lean down, meeting one of his thrusts with my tongue, licking his precum, and he lets out a moan. ‘God, yes, baby. So good for me,’ he grunts, before his thrusts start to slow, until he eventually moves away from me.

‘Love your tits, angel, but I wanna cum in you instead,’ he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up from the bench. ‘Put your clothes back on,’ he says, my eyes widening in confusion. ‘What? Why?’ ‘Because I’ve always wanted to fuck you while you’re wearing your cheer kit. Hurry up and put it on before I decide to leave,’ he says pointedly, and I feel guilt surge through me as I grab my bra from the floor, pulling it back on, and turning around for him to clasp it for me. He does so, taking ages (it seems he’s better at taking bras off than putting them on), and then I pull my top back over my head. As soon as I’m redressed, he pushes me up against the nearest locker, winding me, before his hand strays down to beneath my skirt. ‘You gonna take these booty shorts off before I rip them off you?’ he says, plump lips against my neck, and I push him off, quickly pulling off my safety shorts (these are the only pair I have at the moment – I ordered a pair online and they’re due in a couple weeks – so I really don’t need him ripping them). ‘They’re safety shorts, not booty shorts,’ I mutter, as I kick them off, and he doesn’t waste any time in pushing me up against the lockers again. He presses his lips to mine in a tame kiss (he doesn’t even use his tongue), mouths moving together for a few seconds before he pulls away, sinking to his knees.

‘You’ve been on your knees for me twice now, baby, so I think it’s time I repaid the favour. And I believe I promised to eat your pussy with my… pretty lips,’ he says, quoting my words from last week, and my stomach turns as he grabs the front of my underwear. He violently pulls at them, tearing them away from my body, and I refrain from kneeing him in the face for ruining a second pair of pants. He pushes my legs apart before pulling one over his shoulder, his face inches from where I need him. ‘Jimin… please,’ I whine, and he chuckles, expelling warm air across my dripping wet core, making me shudder. ‘See, baby, you’re being so good for me today, saying my name, and begging like a good girl. And good girls don’t get punished, don’t get spanked until their ass is raw. Good girls get rewarded,’ he says before his head disappears beneath my skirt and I feel him lick a slow bold stripe across my slit, my hips jerking at the feeling, pushing my core closer to his face. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and I let out a whimper of his name, making him chuckle as he grabs onto my waist to hold me in place. ‘So fucking sweet, angel. Best pussy I’ve ever tasted. Could eat you all day.’ He laps at me like there’s no tomorrow, my hands gripping onto his strong shoulders and head thrown back against the lockers. He brings his fingers to my clit, rubbing slow circles, at the stimulation at my bundle of nerves paired with his long, quick licks have me moaning out his name, my stomach already tightening with the threat of an orgasm.

And then he pushes a finger between my folds, pumping in and out of me as I clench around him. ‘Gotta stretch you out for my fat cock, baby, take it like a good girl. Stop clenching, babe,’ he murmurs soothingly against my inner thigh, his thick finger quickly being joined by another. ‘Ah, Jimin, feels so fucking good,’ I moan out, and he hums in response before attaching his lips to my clit, sucking at the bundle of nerves before adding another finger, three thick digits stretching me out. ‘Such a good little slut for me, angel. You take my fingers so fucking well,’ he says, lips still against my clit, and I feel my high nearing quickly, moans and whimpers escaping from my lips every few seconds. He’s so good with his mouth, his plump lips wrapping around my clit and sucking harshly, before he licks along my folds, fingers still pumping into me, curling against my spongy spot every few seconds, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it, the pace of his fingers ever increasing, his lips and tongue attacking my core with passion.

And then we hear the door of the changing room open, followed by a group of loud male voices, laughing and joking. Before I can even register it, Jimin’s on his feet, scooping me into his arms and practically sprinting into the shower area, rushing into one of the cubicles. He puts me down carefully, a hand over my mouth, and I feel my orgasm fading away because of the fear of being caught by his teammates. And in my mind, the logical thing to do is to be silent and wait for them to leave, right? But Jimin isn’t logical, and he pushes me up against the brick wall, pumping his cock in his free hand. He removes his hand from my mouth, tapping my left leg before tapping his shoulder, and I get the message, putting my leg up over his shoulder, despite thinking that this is a terrible idea. And then he puts his hand back over my mouth before slowly sliding into me, his huge cock stretching me out painfully, filling me up completely, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to moan out his name, my head falling back against the wall with a dull thud. ‘What was that?’ I hear one of the boys say, the others asking what he’s talking about, and I feel panic fill me. But along with the panic is arousal at the idea of being caught, my pussy gushing around him, and he smirks, slowly thrusting into me, the curve of his dick allowing him to hit my g-spot (I’m certain Megan wrote Captain Hook about him).

I hear footsteps nearing us, before they stop abruptly. ‘Oh, my God,’ I hear a voice say quietly, before more footsteps can be heard. ‘What?’ ‘Look.’ ‘Whoa. Is that…?’ ‘Yes. One of the cheerleader’s bows.’ Panic strikes through me, and Jimin just grins, continuing to fuck me slowly, making me feel every inch of him. ‘And those are the shorts they wear, right?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And are those… pants?’ ‘Yep. And they look ripped.’ ‘Is someone fucking in here?’ ‘No, we’d be able to hear them. They’re probably gone.’ ‘You think?’ ‘Yes. And I don’t wanna double check. Let’s just go.’ I feel my fear ebbing away as the footsteps get quieter before the door opens and closes. We’re both silent for a few moments, just to make sure they’re gone, before Jimin pulls all the way out of me, slamming back in. I let out a loud moan against his hand, which he moves to rest at the base of my throat, cock hammering into me ruthlessly. ‘Look how wet you are for me, baby. My little bitch likes the idea of getting caught with a fat cock inside her, huh? Does the idea of being walked in on turn you on, babe?’ he asks, and all I can do is nod, moans falling from my lips every few seconds as he slams into me, the drag of his cock against my walls making me weak.

‘Taking me so well, angel, letting me fill you up and stretch you out so good, baby,’ he praises, voice strained with effort, as he pounds into me, my mind completely blank of anything, of everything but him. I feel my orgasm nearing, my walls clenching around him, but that doesn’t stop him plunging into me, hard, his balls slapping up against my ass, one hand gripping onto his shoulder whilst the other is splayed against the cold wall. My leg is beginning to hurt being up against his shoulder, especially because all my body weight is resting on the toes of my other foot (I can’t get my whole foot on the floor), but he seems to be enjoying it, able to go deep into me at this angle, his tip hitting my cervix. ‘Look how flexible you are, baby, stretching for me like a good little whore. Gonna put your flexibility to good use all the time, babe – I’ll help keep you in shape for Cheer,’ he promises, fingers straying to my clit as he speaks. And then I feel him twitching inside me. ‘Are you close?’ I ask, and he nods, eyes fluttering shut, and I reach down to cup his balls, trying to push him over the edge. ‘Ah, fuck, feels good, y/n, your pussy’s so fucking good. Gonna cum, gonna fill you up like a good little slut,’ he breathes out, and I tighten around him, his head falling back as he lets out a loud moan of my name, hot cum shooting out of his cock, painting my walls. He continues thrusting, hips stuttering as he works himself through his orgasm, and I stay clenched around him to prolong his high.

Once he’s done, he pulls out, and puts me down carefully, taking a moment to get his breath back before tucking his softening cock into his underwear, zipping himself back up. He looks up at me with a grin, his hair messy, face still glistening with my arousal, eyes dark. ‘Good talk,’ he grins before turning and walking away. ‘Um, Jimin?’ I call after him, stepping out of the cubicle with shaky legs. ‘Yes, y/n?’ he asks, turning to look at me, eyes sparkling with mirth. ‘I didn’t…’ I trail off, unsure of what to say. ‘What? You didn’t cum?’ he asks, and I nod, my stomach twisting with hurt when he smirks and says, ‘I know, angel. Only good girls get to cum. And good girls don’t leave in the middle of the night after being asked to stay.’ My mouth drops open at the thought that he’s not going to make me cum, and he grins even wider, before taking a little pity on me. ‘I’ll tell you what, baby. Come to KPN tonight and come find me, and I’ll make you cum as many times as you want,’ he says, but I’m still furious. ‘You’re not being serious?’ ‘Deadly.’ ‘Jimin, please,’ I say, and he just grins back at me. ‘You might wanna clean yourself up. Got my cum dripping down your leg,’ he says, and I look down to see his thick white release slowly trailing down my skin. I curse under my breath, and when I look back up, Jimin’s already out of sight, whistling a merry tune, before I hear the changing room door open and close behind him. And when I slowly walk towards the lockers, I realise my bow, safety shorts and ripped pants are gone too. And he still hasn’t given me back my favourite bra.

I head over to the sinks to clean myself up, cursing at him the entire time. ‘Fucking bastard, and his stupidly big fat fucking cock, stealing all my stuff and leaving me high and dry with his fucking cum dripping down my fucking leg. Didn’t even give me any fucking aftercare, fucking dick,’ I rant angrily as I take my hair out of its messy ponytail, running my fingers through it. Luckily, I haven’t sweated off any of my makeup, the fading marks from last week fully covered, but it’s still clear I’ve just been fucked. And the fact that I don’t have anything on under my skirt isn’t helpful at all – thank God it isn’t windy today because otherwise, I’ll be flashing everyone. Once I’ve deemed myself okay to leave, I push open the changing room doors, looking side to side to make sure no one’s around before I slip out of the door, quickly making my way to mine and Jennie’s accommodation, trying to ignore how desperate I am for a release right now. And not just any release – one on Jimin’s cock. But that’ll have to wait for later – I’ve got a party to get ready for.

‘Jennie! y/n!’ Yeri exclaims when we walk into the kitchen through the back door, throwing her arms around us in a hug. ‘Hey, Yeri,’ we reply, hugging her back, and when she moves away, her eyes widen. ‘Jen, you look good, but y/n! You look good, girl!’ she exclaims. ‘Oh, thanks, Yeri,’ Jennie says sarcastically, but she doesn’t mean it – Jennie always opts for comfort over fashion at frat parties, usually wearing mom jeans, or a loose t-shirt dress (which she rocks by the way – no one pulls off the casual aesthetic like Jennie). And I never dress up too much, sticking to a simple outfit and dressing it up with heels and jewellery. But today, I decided to go all out, dressing to impress in a tight little black dress, hem around my upper thighs, ruched with a bardot neck (I had to forgo a bra, and used tit tape instead to make sure they don’t sag). I’m in a pair of black sparkly heels, much higher than last week’s, with a silver choker, silver hoops and a thin silver bracelet. Jennie has on a shoulder bag, big enough to fit my things in it, so I didn’t bother with a bag, my phone in my hand and my lipgloss, oil blotting sheets and keys in Jennie’s bag. ‘Thanks, Yeri. But look at you! This top is so cute!’

We greet all our friends, Jeongyeon pushing cups into mine and Jennie’s hands (I’m not sure what it is but it tastes nice), before I take a seat between Tzuyu and Lisa at the kitchen island, instantly getting into a conversation about Cheer. KPN parties are always really laidback – people wear whatever they want, drink whatever they want, and I never feel uncomfortable here, or pressured to act a certain way. I can just be myself, and enjoy the night with my friends. ASP’s the opposite in the sense that there’s always pressure – to look good, to end the night with someone, to give everyone something to gossip about.

‘y/n! You came!’ Jackson exclaims when he sees me, pulling me into an expensive smelling hug. ‘Hey, Jackson!’ ‘I was about to make a comment about how late you are, but you look really good, so I’ll let you off,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes. ‘Since when do you have to arrive to parties at a certain time?’ ‘You wouldn’t know, y/n, you’re always fashionably late,’ Tzuyu teases, and I cover my face with embarrassment – never have I arrived at a party before my friends (there’s just something about being there before the party has properly started that makes me want to cringe). ‘Anyway, what are you ladies drinking?’ ‘Diet Coke,’ Tzuyu says as she holds her cup up, Lisa drinking the same. ‘I’m drinking whatever the hell this is – Jeongyeon gave it to me,’ I say, and Jackson takes the cup, sipping from it, before his eyes widen. ‘Yo, this shit slaps. Where’s Jeongyeon? I want some,’ he says, turning away in search of her, and I call after him, ‘get me some more too, please!’

‘So… y/n,’ Lisa says with a knowing grin, making me raise an eyebrow at her. ‘Yes?’ I ask, she and Tzuyu exchanging an amused glance. ‘This dress is nice,’ Tzuyu says with the same knowing look as Lisa, and I look between them suspiciously. ‘Thanks,’ I say slowly, their smiles widening even more. ‘Who are you dressing to impress?’ Lisa asks, and I realise where this conversation is going, letting out a laugh. ‘Ah, you two. Can a girl not dress for herself?’ I grin, both of them raising their eyebrows. ‘Of course. But the timing’s a little suspicious. Not hoping for a round two, are we?’ Tzuyu asks, and I bite my lip embarrassedly. ‘What if we already had round two?’ I say quietly, both of their mouths falling open. ‘What?’ Lisa exclaims, drawing the attention of those around us, and I shut my eyes despairingly. ‘Keep your voice down, stupid!’ Tzuyu exclaims, Lisa murmuring an apology, still looking at me with wide eyes. ‘When?’ ‘Earlier, after practice. I met him in their changing rooms,’ I say, both of them looking even more shocked with each word. ‘Oh, my God! You two are, like, stuck in your own little forbidden and scandalous romance!’ Lisa whispers, and I shoot her a hard look. ‘It’s not a romance. He’s still, like, the most annoying and stupid person I’ve ever met. I mean, he literally left without making me cum, on purpose. He said if I showed up here tonight, he’d make it up to me,’ I whisper, both of them gasping quietly. ‘No way!’ Tzuyu says, and I nod. ‘So you’re gonna have a round three?’ Lisa asks, and I shrug. ‘I’m actually not sure. I don’t know whether I came so that I could leave with him, or so that I could piss him off by getting with someone else,’ I say, both of their eyes lighting up. ‘Get with someone else,’ they chorus, and I let out a gentle laugh.

Before I can reply, Jackson reappears with two cups in hand. ‘It’s Fireball Whisky with cream soda,’ he says, and I blink in surprise, not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted at Jeongyeon’s weird concoction. He takes the empty cup from my hand and hands me a new one, and I thank him as I take a sip. It really is good, and I know I need to be careful not to drink too much – I’ll forget just how strong whisky is and then find myself hunched over the toilet in a few hours, vomiting it all back up. ‘Are you guys gonna just sit here and chat all night? This is a party! We’re supposed to be having a good time,’ Jackson says, and I exchange a glance with the girls. ‘We are having a good time,’ Tzuyu replies mildly, and Jackson rolls his eyes. ‘So you’re not gonna come dance?’ he asks, and we all shake our heads. As much as I do love getting lit, it’s nice to just have a gossip with the girls sometimes. ‘Maybe later,’ I say, and he frowns, shaking his head. ‘You guys are boring.’ ‘Go find Joy, she’ll dance with you,’ Tzuyu suggests, and Lisa nods before adding, ‘and Dahyun. Come find us in a couple hours, and then we’ll dance with you too.’

Jackson quickly disappears, calling out for Joy and Dahyun, and the spot where he was stood is quickly occupied by a boy who I recognise as Chan, one of the boys on the team and a KPN brother. ‘Hi, Chan,’ Tzuyu says, the boy giving us a smile. ‘Hi, guys. You’re all cheerleaders, right?’ he asks, and we nod, confused as to where he’s going with this. ‘Do you wear these, like… little black shorts under your cheer outfits? Like super small, tight, black shorts?’ he asks, and I realise, dread flooding through me as we all nod. ‘They’re called safety shorts,’ Lisa says, and Chan nods. ‘I thought so. We saw a pair earlier, in the changing rooms, with one of the bows you guys wear, and some… underwear. Ripped. So I was just… curious, I guess,’ he says, Tzuyu and Lisa both turning their gazes to me. ‘Um… Chan, I’d be really grateful if you didn’t mention that to anyone,’ I say embarrassedly, the girls stifling laughs as Chan’s face falls with shock. ‘Oh! They were yours?’ he asks, and I nod, totally humiliated. ‘Who was, um, with you when you came in? There was just a couple of you, right?’ I ask, and he winces. ‘There were a few of us, actually. But it’s fine, I’ll tell them not to mention it to anyone. Your secret’s safe with us, y/n,’ he says with a grin, and I give him a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Chan.’ ‘No problem. Before I never mention it again, I just have one question,’ he says tentatively, and I close my eyes briefly, nodding as I brace myself. ‘Were you… in there when we went in?’ he asks, and I take a deep breath before nodding, his eyes widening. ‘In the shower cubicles, right?’ ‘Yep.’ ‘I thought I heard a banging noise,’ he says, and the girls burst out laughing. ‘No, no, it’s because I hit my head on the wall,’ I explain over their laughter, even more embarrassed now. ‘Sorry,’ Chan says, and I wave it off. ‘It’s fine, it’s my own fault for fucking in a public place,’ I say bluntly, and he lets out a gentle laugh.

The girls are still laughing when Chan leaves with the promise of never mentioning it again, and I shoot them dirty looks. ‘Are you gonna stop laughing any time soon or should I just go?’ I ask venomously, and their laughter gets even louder, making me roll my eyes. ‘Fine. I’m going,’ I say, pushing myself off my seat and leaving with my phone and drink in my hands, their laughter continuing behind me. I decide to venture into the living room, but regret my decision the second I walk in and lock eyes with Hyunjin – Chan’s whispering something to him, and he bites down on his lip when he sees me, obviously holding back a laugh at the irony of seeing me as Chan fills him in. I turn on my heel, instantly heading back into the kitchen and ignoring Hyunjin’s loud laughter behind me. But when my eyes meet Lisa’s and she bursts out laughing again, Tzuyu laughing too, I make a decision – I want to go home. I know none of them mean anything by it but it’s really… getting to me. I don’t like that nearly every conversation I’ve had in the last week has come back to Jimin – in fact, I hate it. I’m more than my sexual escapades, whether or not they’re with my worst enemy. I came here to have a good time with my friends tonight – not to speak about my sex life.

‘Mark,’ I say, catching the boy beside me offguard. ‘Oh, hey, y/n. You okay?’ he asks, and I nod. ‘I’m great. You?’ ‘I’m good, thanks. What’s up? You look… stressed.’ ‘I’m okay, I just… have you seen Jennie?’ I ask, and he nods, taking me by surprise. ‘I saw her go out the back door a couple minutes ago, with Seulgi and Nayeon,’ he says, and I grin at him. ‘Thank you, Mark, you’re the best!’ I exclaim, not giving him a second to reply before I quickly head towards the back door, ducking through the doorway before anyone else can speak to me. There’s a group of boys stood near the door, passing around a joint, and I quickly head past them, eyes skimming over the surroundings to see if the girls are here. I spot their three dark heads close together, looking at something on Seulgi’s phone, and I rush over. Nayeon spots me first, concern on her face as she watches me head towards them. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ she asks, the other two girls looking up at hearing my name. ‘I… I’m gonna leave,’ I say, all three of them looking at me in surprise – you usually have to drag me away from a party. ‘Why? You look hot, girl! You can’t waste this look!’ Seulgi exclaims, throwing an arm around my shoulders, and I give her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks, Seulgi, but I just… I’m fed up of being teased about Jimin. Maybe it’s God punishing me for sleeping with him, but for fuck’s sake, isn’t him being an idiot punishment enough? I don’t need everyone bringing it up every two fucking seconds,’ I complain, the three of them exchanging amused glances.

‘Oh, babe, it sucks, but you’ve gotta be thick skinned. You have to remember that you have publicly hated him for as long as we’ve all known you, pretty much. The fact that you’ve slept with him is, like, a big deal. It’s hot gossip. Of course people are gonna want to talk about it, and you are gonna get teased. You can’t let it get to you, or people will do it even more,’ Jennie says rationally, and I know she’s right, but I still don’t want to accept it, pouting. ‘I know, you’re right, but I’m already in a bad mood now, and I just wanna go home,’ I say, and I know I’m being immature, but I don’t care. I notice Nayeon’s eyes wander from me to over my shoulder and then she says, ‘well, someone’s coming over, and I don’t whether he’s going to make your mood better or worse.’ I sigh, wanting to cry, and I can feel Seulgi holding back a laugh. ‘Shall I tell him to fuck off?’ Jennie asks, and I shake my head – I don’t have the energy to fight with him today.

‘y/n,’ I hear his stupid voice say, before he appears beside me. He’s dressed in all black, tight ripped jeans and a black button-up shirt, the top two buttons undone and revealing tanned and freckled skin, with a leather jacket over the top of it. He’s wearing silver jewellery again, rings, earrings, bracelets and a necklace, and he looks really fucking handsome, like always. He looks me up and down, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at my appearance as he sweeps his black hair back with one hand, before he looks at my face, the shock being replaced with concern. ‘You okay?’ he asks, and him caring about me makes me want to run a mile – he’s supposed to hate me, not worry when I’m upset and annoyed. ‘I… don’t know,’ I say tiredly, not quite sure what to say, and he looks even more concerned at that. ‘Shall we… give you guys a minute?’ Jennie says, and I look at her in surprise. She just looks back at me with a sad smile, and then I realise; she’s knows that there’s more to this, to me and… Jimin, than just two people who fucked even though they hate each other. And so do I, the thought terrifying me. His feelings are involved, and maybe mine are too, and I already know this is gonna get messy, messier than it should. But I don’t really have it in me to put a stop to it right now. I think I must have hurt him a lot when I left him last week (the thought of him waking up to an empty bed when he thought I would be there beside him makes me feel sick to my stomach) and I don’t ever want to hurt someone like that again. Even if it that someone is Jimin, the most annoying, stupid, selfish, egotistic, infuriating, big-headed person to ever walk the Earth.

I stay silent, and Jimin takes that as a sign to nod at the girls, all of them giving me little hugs before they head back up towards the house. The few people that are outside are watching interestedly and I want to just tell them to all fuck off. I used to think I’d love being the centre of attention all the time, but I’ve definitely changed my mind. ‘What’s the matter, y/n?’ he asks gently, and I sigh, not meeting his eyes as I think, not sure what to tell him. He stays quiet as he waits for me to speak, which leaves us in a heavy silence. ‘I… I’m just fed up. All anyone’s been speaking to me about is you and I don’t like it because there’s more to talk about to me than my sex life, and I hate that people are always staring at me now and probably thinking all these things about me when they barely know me and everyone’s making me regret sleeping with you but I don’t want to regret it because it was good and I enjoyed it and it was with you, but I don’t know why that’s making me not regret it but I kind of do know because I don’t think that I see you the same as I used to anymore, which is something else I hate because I’m supposed to hate you, and I do but I also don’t think I do, and I’m so confused, and I just want to go home,’ I say miserably all in one breath, and he looks a little taken aback, but nods when I’m finished speaking. ‘I… I’ve been thinking a lot of the same things the last week, and I’m confused too. So if it’s any consolation, I know how you feel,’ he says, and somehow… it is consolation. I already knew his feelings towards me had changed, but hearing that he feels all the other stuff too, it does make me feel better. But I’m a stubborn bitch.

‘No, actually, I’m not sure you do know how I feel. Because I didn’t make it harder for you. I didn’t show up somewhere solely to piss you off, and laugh with my friends to make you feel self-conscious, and be all smug and amused and rude to you, and pull your underwear out of my pocket in front of everyone to embarrass you. So no, Jimin, you don’t know how I feel,’ I reply angrily, unable to help myself, but it’s true – he made this all a hundred times worse at try-outs earlier, and I am angry at him for it. I wait for him to get angry in return, to point out that I probably didn’t make it any better for him by being a bitch, but I’m pleasantly surprised when he just nods, his head dropping sheepishly. ‘I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to, I promise – I never intended to piss you off or to make you feel self-conscious or to embarrass you. I tend to… not think before I do things, and I guess my pride was hurt that you left so I wanted to just save face. And I shouldn’t have… left you earlier. I was just being petty and wanted to get back at you. I’m really sorry,’ he says earnestly, and I’m shocked into silence for a few moments, before I nod.

‘Okay. I accept your apology,’ I say, and he smiles. ‘I’m glad. Now… shall I take you home?’ he asks, and I blink in surprise. ‘What?’ ‘You said you wanted to go home so do you want me to take you?’ he offers, and I hesitate for a moment. ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because I’m supposed to hate you, and you’re supposed to hate me,’ I whisper, and he raises an eyebrow, taking a step closer to me. ‘Like I said earlier… would it really be so bad if we didn’t hate each other?’ he replies quietly, and I’m silent. ‘I don’t… I don’t know. It’s kinda… scary to think about. And it’s just easier to hate you. And…’ I trail off, and an amused smile appears on his stupid face. ‘You’re too stubborn to not hate me when you’ve hated me for so long, right?’ he says, seeing right through me, and I nod sheepishly. ‘We really need to work on your stubbornness, because I can see a future for us, y/n. If you could just give in to your feelings for me, we could pursue something together,’ he grins, but there’s no humour, no amusement in his voice at all, his honesty nearly winding me. He throws an arm around my shoulders and slowly walks us back up to the house. ‘A future? For you and me?’ I echo, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘Yeah! We’ll get married as soon as we finish Uni, have a load of kids, and they can become footballers and cheerleaders to follow in our footsteps,’ he says, and I choke, making him let out a loud laugh. ‘Okay, maybe not as soon as we finish Uni. I’ll make that sacrifice.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘Of course, angel. Anything for you.’

The second we step into the house, all eyes in the kitchen look up at us. ‘Can we help you?’ Jimin asks evenly, daring them to say something, and they’re all silent. ‘Thought so,’ he mutters, leading us over to where the drinks are as conversation resumes around us, albeit much quieter now. Jimin eyes the dozens of bottles covering the countertop before his eyes flit to the cup in my hand. ‘What you drinking, babe?’ he asks quietly, and I hold my drink up for him to try. ‘You trying to roofie me?’ he grins, and I let out a little laugh. ‘It’s Fireball whisky and cream soda. Jeongyeon’s concoction,’ I say, and he grimaces before trying some, his face instantly changing. ‘Oh, wow, that’s good,’ he says, reaching for the whisky bottle to pour himself some. ‘Did you just arrive?’ I ask, and he nods. ‘I literally got here, walked into the kitchen, saw you weren’t in here, asked Mark where you were, and he said you were outside. I was coming to apologise,’ he says, and my heart warms. ‘To be honest… I should apologise too,’ I say, and his mouth drops open. ‘I can’t believe my ears. Is stubborn y/n finally discarding her pride?’ ‘Shut up, stupid,’ I laugh, shoving him gently, and he grins. ‘You don’t have to apologise, angel. You were scared that we didn’t hate each other, so you left, and then you were a bitch to me so that I’d hate you. That’s it. Don’t worry about it,’ he says, and I nod, grateful that I don’t have to apologise.

‘Okay,’ he says once he’s poured his drink, ‘shall we get away from all the staring?’ I raise an eyebrow, and he laughs. ‘I didn’t mean that, but if you’re down. I still owe you from earlier,’ he says lowly with a smirk, and my breath catches in my throat. ‘Um… maybe later. Let’s… see what’s going on in the rest of the house,’ I say, and he nods, grinning at my flustered state. And then he takes my hand into his, our fingers laced together, and a little shock runs up my arm at the contact. I nearly slap myself – he was rearranging my guts earlier, but I’m getting butterflies at him holding my hand? Really?

He leads me into the living room, several pairs of eyes turning to us, but he completely ignores them, so I do too. ‘You wanna stay in here?’ he asks over the loud music, and I shake my head. He nods, continuing to lead us through the room into the front hallway. The layout is the same as the ASP house, so Jimin knows his way around, leading me through the hallway and pushing open the door to the other living room, where it’s considerably more chill. The haze of weed lays heavy on the air, music gently pulsing through the room, and there are a lot less people in here, majority the boys on the football team with their girlfriends. ‘Oh, y/n, Chan spoke to me, I…’ Felix calls to me before his eyes land on Jimin behind me, his words trailing off when he spots our intertwined hands. ‘Yeah, it’s… yeah,’ I say, a little embarrassed, and Felix just nods, holding back a laugh when Jimin looks between us. ‘What did Chan speak to you about, Lix?’ Jimin asks, and I cringe. ‘They’re the ones that walked into the changing rooms earlier,’ I say under my breath, and he lets out a little noise of realisation with a nod, a smirk playing at his lips as he looks at Felix, the boy looking endlessly amused. ‘Oh, are you guys talking about how we walked in on you in the changing room?’ Jisung calls out tactlessly, and I close my eyes, gathering myself, as laughter ripples around the room. ‘You know what? Let’s just leave,’ I say tiredly, more laughter following my words, and Jimin nods, bidding goodbye to his friends with a smug grin as he leads me out of the room.

‘Shall we sit outside?’ he suggests, and I nod, letting him pull me through the front door. I shut the door behind us, and when I turn back, Jimin’s sat on the front step, looking out onto the front garden. It’s surprisingly empty, and it’s quiet out here, the only noise coming faintly from inside. I sit down beside him, pulling my dress down, and Jimin notices, a greasy smirk appearing on his face. ‘I swear to God, Park, I will not hesitate to throw this drink at you,’ I say, and he laughs, eyes disappearing behind their lids. ‘I was just gonna say that you look really nice. That dress really suits you,’ he grins, and I eye him suspiciously, holding back a laugh. He holds his hands up, feigning innocence, and I let out a gentle laugh, taking a sip of my drink. ‘Did you wear it for me?’ he asks, and I nod without looking at him. ‘Good choice. I like it,’ he replies, reaching for my hand, and I can’t help the small smile on my face as he laces his fingers with mine, our hands resting in my lap.

We both fall into a comfortable silence, and it’s really nice. It’s like all the other stuff falls away and doesn’t matter anymore, and we’re just a girl and a boy sat on the front steps of a frat house, taking a moment away from the party under the night sky, holding hands and drinking whisky and soda. We sit in silence for a few minutes, and I think that this is what true peace is like; when things are quiet and simple and easy, and nothing’s bothering me, nothing’s complicated or confusing, nothing matters. It’s almost too good to be true.

The door behind us opens after a few minutes, both of us turning to see Jeongin and Changbin, two more boys on the team, and Jimin grins widely when he sees them. I turn to face the front garden again, my back to the boys with my hand still in Jimin’s, both resting in my lap. ‘Boys! How are you? Ready for first practice next week?’ Jimin asks them, and I roll my eyes amusedly – football is their livelihood, and Jimin’s in his element talking about football, even more now that he’s been promoted to Captain. ‘Looking forward to it, Captain!’ Jeongin exclaims, hyping Jimin up even more. ‘Before we get distracted with football, we thought we’d let you know that, um, Rosie’s been looking for you. She asked us where you were and we said we didn’t know so we could buy you some time, but she’ll probably find you soon,’ Changbin says, and I freeze at the mention of his ex, Jimin wincing. ‘Um, okay, thanks, guys. I’ll, uh, speak to you later,’ he says, dismissing them, and they quickly disappear with a ‘bye’ thrown over their shoulders before the door shuts.

‘Why is Rosie looking for you?’ I ask amusedly, knowing exactly why she’s looking for him. She and Jimin have been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a long time, but he ended it for good at the end of last year, and stayed true to his word. According to the rumours, they don’t even talk anymore, just walk past each other without a word, and they haven’t slept with each other again. But she’s obviously got wind about me, and is jealous. ‘Um, yeah, about that. There’s probably something I should tell you,’ he says hesitantly, and I feel my body go a little cold as I turn my eyes to him – maybe there is a different reason she’s looking for him. ‘I… may have… slept with her… on Tuesday,’ he says, and the words don’t really register with me for a moment. ‘y/n?’ he says, eyes full of worry and I blink, realisation washing over me.

He slept with her. Four days ago.

I remove his hand from mine, and he flinches when I do so, retracting his hand slowly. ‘What… were you thinking?’ I ask, and he just blinks for a moment. ‘I was thinking that you hated me because you left and I was hurt so I found comfort in someone else,’ he says, tone neutral, but I can hear the defensiveness coming through. And, okay, maybe that is a good enough reason. But I’m still angry. Do I even have a right to be angry? ‘But your ex? Jimin, I-’ ‘Yes, y/n, my ex. I don’t really think you have a right to be angry. You left me. You knew my feelings for you were different to what you first thought, and you left anyway!’ he exclaims, voice rising, and I roll my eyes, letting out a humourless laugh. ‘I wasn’t obligated to stay just because you liked me!’ ‘But you liked me too!’ ‘I’m not sure I did, Jimin, and I’m still not sure about it! Besides, you literally said like fifteen minutes ago that you understood why I left and that I didn’t need to apologise for it!’ I point out, and he scoffs. ‘I do understand, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less, y/n. I was hurting and she was at the ASP house picking up her hair clip that she lost at the party and one thing led to ano-’ ‘So she just happened to be at the house, picking up a hair clip, three days after what happened between you and me? You don’t think she planned that?’ I say incredulously, unable to believe how dense he is. ‘So what if she did? To me, it was meaningless sex, to get my mind off you. I don’t think you have a right to be angry.’ ‘I don’t think I do either, but I still am!’ I exclaim, and he rolls his eyes, a smile playing at his lips. ‘You’re not angry, you’re jealous.’ ‘I’m not jealous, Jimin, don’t be ridiculous,’ I scoff, even more pissed off now. ‘You are.’ ‘If I said, ‘let’s go upstairs and fuck’ right now, you would be down, so what have I got to be jealous about?’ I ask lowly, and his eyes darken. ‘Fine. You’re not jealous. You’re angry I slept with someone else because you like me. Don’t even bother saying you’re still not sure because that’s the only reason for you to be angry. And in that case, I understand. And I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,’ he says calmly, and I don’t say anything, looking away from him.

After a few moments, he reaches for my hand tentatively, gauging my reaction before lacing our fingers together again. ‘You don’t have to apologise. I’m just being silly,’ I say, and he chuckles, moving closer to me. ‘I’ll apologise as many times as you need me to. I really do like you, y/n, and I kinda have for a while. I don’t want to fuck up whatever this is happening between us. And I know you’re still reluctant and you still want to hate me or whatever, but I don’t mind waiting until you’re ready. I’m happy to take time to win you over,’ he says softly, and my heart warms a little. The contrast between this Jimin and the Jimin from last week really is insane. There are so many sides to him, it’s hard to keep track. ‘Sorry,’ I say, and he lets out a gentle laugh. ‘You don’t have to apologise for getting angry that I slept with my ex, even if we didn’t make any commitments to each other. I understand,’ he says simply, and I can’t help the smile on my face as I shuffle even closer to him, our sides pressed together and my head resting on his shoulder.

And again, it’s nice. But it really is too good to be true. The door behind us is wrenched open before we hear, ‘Jimin?’ I sigh, Jimin turning to look at Rosie. ‘Rosie,’ he replies, voice neutral, and I turn around, our eyes meeting. ‘Hi, Rosie,’ I smile at the girl. I’ve never actually had a problem with Rosie – we run in the same social circles, she’s a Cheerleader, and we’ve never been close but from what I know of her, she’s okay. ‘Hi, y/n. Do you mind if I speak to Jimin for a moment?’ she says sweetly. ‘Of course,’ I reply with a smile, not moving a muscle, and Jimin sighs. ‘y/n, please,’ he says, and I turn to him, annoyance unfurling in my chest. ‘Okay,’ I say coldly, dropping his hand from mine and rising up, brushing past Rosie into the house.

What is wrong with him? Has he got no common sense? The logical thing to have done is obviously to not speak to her – what could she possibly have to say? All she’s going to do is try to get him back. And he’s really stupid enough to ask me to leave? Am I a dickhead? I let out an angry sigh, deciding that I’ve had enough. He’s been spouting all this shit about how he doesn’t want to fuck this up, and then literally like two fucking minutes later, he’s having a private conversation with his ex. This is like ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ but in real life. He’s Peter, Rosie’s Gen and I’m Lara Jean. Somehow though, I feel like I won’t have the same happy ending.

‘y/n!’ I hear Jennie call from the other living room, where she’s sat with Jihyo and Irene, and I sigh, heading in. ‘What’s happened?’ she asks, and I roll my eyes, the attention of everyone in the room on me. ‘He apologised and we made up but then he asked me to leave so he could have a private conversation with his ex,’ I say, and they all gasp, confirming that I’m not a crazy bitch and that he shouldn’t be having private conversations with his ex. ‘Oh, girl, you better not forgive his stupid ass,’ Jihyo says, the other girls in the room nodding and giving various agreements, and the boys are all quiet – they obviously feel a sense of loyalty to Jimin and don’t want to talk bad about him. ‘I feel so pissed, but I also feel like I don’t have a right to be pissed,’ I say, and the girls all frown, disagreeing instantly. ‘You do have a right to be pissed. You should go throw your drink over his stupid head,’ Jennie says angrily, and I hold back a laugh.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ I sigh helplessly, perching on the arm of Seungmin’s armchair. ‘It’s a red flag, y/n. End things here – don’t let it go too far otherwise you’ll get too attached, your feelings will get deeper and stronger, and it’s just not worth it. Him and Rosie are always messing around and it’ll probably be like that for a long time – she’s a nice girl but she’s got Jimin wrapped around her finger and she knows it. If he tries to move on, she’ll stop it. It’s not worth you getting involved in that, because you shouldn’t have to compete with his ex,’ Irene says softly, everybody listening to her, and I know she’s exactly right; I might… maybe… kinda… sorta… like(?) Jimin now, but he’s not worth competing with another girl for. If there’s even a choice for him, I should walk away. I deserve someone who wants me and only me. ‘God, you’re right,’ I wail, throwing myself back against the armchair and lifting my hand to my face despairingly, a little laugh running around the room at my dramatics as Seungmin pats my arm comfortingly. ‘I know he’s our friend, y/n, but he’s also kinda a dick when it comes to girls, and we all know it. I mean, he was literally bragging to us yesterday about what happened between you guys,’ Minho says, and I feel my focus shifting entirely to his words when he says that, my entire body tensing. ‘What did he say?’ I ask calmly, though I can feel my anger slowly rising, along with the tension in the room. ‘Well… um,’ Minho begins hesitantly, before sighing, ‘we all went to ASP last night for KPN and ASP Pizza Friday, and we were speaking about going to watch you guys at the try-outs. JB mentioned that, as the new captain, you might get pissed if we showed up, and then the conversation turned to you and Jimin last week.’

I’m in total shock; he blatantly lied to me earlier, by telling me that he’d only told his closest friends. The thought that all those boys were sat together last night, talking about me, makes my stomach turn. ‘What did he tell you guys?’ I ask shakily, despite not actually wanting to know. ‘Um… everything,’ Minho says, and my heart drops. ‘Everything?’ ‘Yeah. Everything,’ Chan confirms, voice gentle, and I can feel tears pricking my eyes. ‘Wow. Okay. So not only is he a dick, he blatantly lied,’ I say flatly, the room completely silent other than the low RnB beat pulsing from the speaker. ‘I’m gonna go. Sorry for, uh, killing the vibe,’ I say quietly, pushing myself up from the arm of Seungmin’s armchair and heading towards the door, multiple people in the room calling after me.

I quickly dart up the stairs, dodging past the couple making out on the landing and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Part of me is numb, in complete shock, and doesn’t know how to react. Another part of me is unbelievably hurt that he completely lied to my face, and that he asked me to leave so he could talk to his ex. Privately. Another part of me is totally humiliated that he told the boys everything, my pride completely ruined now. And the other part of me is annoyed at myself for being so hurt about a boy who, this time last week, I hated and would’ve rather fought than fucked.

‘y/n, it’s me,’ I hear Jennie’s voice from the other side of the door, and I unlock it to let her in. She pulls me into a hug, and I have to scrunch my eyes shut to stop myself from crying, pushing my head into her neck as she rubs my back comfortingly. ‘He’s so trash, babe. So trash. You deserve so much better,’ she says soothingly, and I try my best to fully believe her words, but it’s hard when I’m also trying to hold back my tears.

Before I can even speak to her, Jiwon’s head appears around the door, her eyes widening when she sees how upset I am. ‘y/n! Sorry for just walking in but are you okay?’ she asks, eyes big with concern, and my heart warms. ‘Ugh, yeah,’ I say, Jennie and I moving apart, and I tilt my head back, blinking furiously to get rid of my tears. ‘It’s just Jimin. He’s such a dick. I’m done with him,’ I say, the words coming out of my mouth before I even think of them, and I realise that, yes, I am done with him. I’m not wasting my time on him anymore.

‘Good. You deserve better. I mean, I knew he was a dick when he literally grabbed me on the way up to his room last week and dragged me along behind him. He made me think he was attracted to me, but he obviously just wanted to make you jealous,’ Jiwon says, and it makes me hate him even more. I didn’t even think about how hurt she must have been when she realised he was just using her. ‘God, he really is a dick,’ I spit, face twisted up in disgust, and Jiwon lets out a gentle laugh. ‘I’m surprised you didn’t see that sooner.’ ‘I knew all along. There was a reason I hated him so much – he’s always been a self-absorbed, egotistic, arrogant douche, but now… he’s even worse in my eyes.’

‘Shall we head back downstairs, get you a drink, dance? Or… shall we head home? We could have a little girls’ night – we’ve got a couple bottles of Echo Falls in the fridge, Clueless and Mean Girls on Netflix, and I have a few face masks. We could invite some of the other girls, too. And you could join us, Jiwon. We could get drunk, order pizza and talk about how much of a bastard Jimin is,’ Jennie says, the three of us laughing. She’s really sold the idea – it sounds like a lot of fun – but it’s late already. It’s better if I just head home and go to sleep. I actually feel exhausted after the events of today; it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, and I’m literally craving my bed right now. ‘That sounds fun, Jen, but maybe we could do that another night. I could do with just sleeping tonight,’ I say, and she nods, smiling gently.

‘Shall I order an Uber?’ ‘You stay,’ I say, and she frowns. ‘Why would I stay? You’re upset – I’ll come back with you.’ ‘No, honestly, I’ll be fine. You stay, enjoy the party. You haven’t even spent any time with Namjoon,’ I say, and she rolls her eyes. ‘I don’t care about spending time with Namjoon right now. You’re my priority. I’m coming home with you,’ she says firmly, pulling her phone out of her pocket, and I exchange an exasperated glance with Jiwon, the other girl incredibly amused.

As soon as Jennie’s ordered the Uber, we head downstairs to bid everyone goodbye. The second I step into the kitchen, Jin and Jungkook appear in front of me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. ‘Don’t say a word, because I swear to God, I won’t hesitate to kick you both in the balls,’ I threaten angrily, and their grins soon disappear. ‘Have you been crying, y/n? What’s the ma-?’ ‘Don’t say a word!’ I exclaim, pushing past them to say goodbye to Wendy, Lisa, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the three of them giving me tight and comforting hugs – it seems that word’s already gotten around to the girls about Jimin and I. Then, in the living room, Nayeon, Seulgi, Mina, Jeongyeon, Jisoo, Momo, Joy and Sana all stop dancing the second I walk in, smothering me in hugs, and I know for sure that word has gotten around. And then, in the other living room, Jihyo, Irene, Yeri and Dahyun all give me big hugs too, and it really does make me feel better. Girls say it a lot, but it’s true – as long as you have your girls around you, you really don’t need a man. Any KNP or ASP boys that I walk past get the cold shoulder – they were all present when Jimin told them the dirty details and, despite some of them being my friends, close friends, not one of them thought to tell me. The only person that gets a goodbye from me is Minho; the rest of them can fuck themselves.

When I reach the front door, my hand shakes for a moment and I hesitate, Jennie putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I take a deep breath, rolling back my shoulders and raising my chin a little, injecting as much confidence into my body language as possible before I aggressively turn the handle, pulling the door towards me forcefully. They’re still sat on the front doorstep, Rosie where I was sat just half an hour ago, and they both jump when they hear the door open. And even though they react instantly, I still spot Jimin’s hand retracting from Rosie’s, leaving hers empty.

My eyes flit back up, in front of me, and I carefully walk through the gap between them, ignoring them both completely. ‘y/n? Are you leaving?’ I hear Jimin ask, but Jennie puts a hand on my back, the both of us continuing to walk up towards the road and away from him. ‘y/n! Wait!’ he calls after me, and then I hear his footsteps behind us, making my blood boil – can he not take the hint? ‘What, Jimin?’ I demand, whirling around to face him, and he hesitates in his steps. ‘y/n-’ ‘No, Jimin, don’t ‘y/n’ me. What the fuck do you want?’ ‘I… you’re angry at me,’ he says quietly, and I let out a harsh laugh. ‘Great observation, Jimin! What else will you come out with? The grass is green? Or the sky is blue, perhaps?’ ‘Okay, you don’t need to be so bitchy to m-’ ‘Bitchy?’ I practically scream, marching towards him, and he recoils away from me. Good. I’m glad he’s scared.

‘I think I’m well within my rights to be bitchy to you, you fucking bastard!’ I shriek, and he flinches, confusion all over his face. ‘What did I do, y/n? I… let me fix it,’ he says, and I let out another humourless laugh. ‘Fix it? You want to fix it?’ I ask hysterically, voice shaking, ‘You might’ve been able to fix the fact that you asked me to leave so you could have a private conversation with your ex, but that’s a very strong ‘might’, because I am not a choice, Jimin! You don’t get to mess me around! I’m number one, or I’m nothing to you at all!’ ‘Okay. Okay, I understand, and I’m sorry. I won’t do something like that again,’ he says earnestly, desperation in his eyes, but I can’t muster up any sympathy at all. Maybe I am a bitch, like he told me so many times last week.

‘No, you’re not going to do something like that again. Because you’re not going to have the chance, Jimin. We are done. That’s it,’ I say, and any hope that was in his eyes completely disappears, the light draining away. ‘What? Why? I thought you wanted… to give us a go,’ he says quietly, sounding… lost, and confused. It only makes me angrier – he’s not gonna get away with playing innocent today. ‘I did. Before I found out that you went and blabbed every single detail of last week to every fucking frat boy in ASP and KPN last night! Did you somehow forget about that, or did you purposely leave out that detail when I asked you earlier?’ I scream, body shaking with fury, and the second he registers my words, the colour disappears from his face, and he looks like he might throw up. He doesn’t say anything, and I give him the chance, but he doesn’t even bother to deny it, just stares at me in shock and the last shred of my hope that maybe Minho lied, that he exaggerated, or that maybe Jimin only told a couple of the guys disappears. ‘Yeah. That’s what I thought too. So forgive me for being such a bitch,’ I spit at him, and he opens his mouth to speak, no words coming out.

‘Go on. Say something. You’ve had plenty to say all night. So let’s hear it,’ I prompt sarcastically, and he just blinks before he whispers miserably; ‘I’m so sorry.’ ‘Sorry? You’re sorry? Oh, well, that’s okay! Everything’s solved now, huh? That just makes everything fine!’ I shout, and his head drops, eyes on the ground. ‘Not only did you tell everyone, you lied about it! So how can I pursue something with you when you’re already lying to me? I can’t trust a word you say!’ ‘I… I’m not defending myself… but you lied to me too, y/n. You told me that you told Jennie, and ‘a couple of the other girls’. But we both know that was a lie,’ he says slowly, stuttering as he speaks, and I’m dumbfounded, in complete and utter shock.

‘You… you don’t understand. I told the girls, my closest friends. We tell each other everything. I’ve been there for them through everything, and they’ve been there for me through everything. You told two entire fraternities of immature and idiotic man children! You don’t think there’s a difference between the two? I bet they congratulated you, right? On getting the girl that hates you into bed? Asked what I was like? What my body looks like? Whether I had good head game, or good pussy? Saw me as just a slut, another conquest, another notch in your belt? Two entire fraternities objectified me last night, and you can’t even try to tell me otherwise, because I can guarantee that every girl in this damn university has had an experience to prove that you frat boys are disgusting. So you can fuck yourself, Jimin, and don’t ever compare me telling the girls to you telling those idiots again,’ I spit out angrily, and he’s completely silent, confirming everything I’ve just said. ‘I’m done with you. Don’t ever speak to me again,’ I hiss before turning on my heel and marching to where Jen stands outside the Uber, smiling at me softly.

‘That was amazing. I’m so proud of you,’ she says when I reach her, and I smile back as she opens the car door, letting me climb in first. I slide across the seat, Jennie following me in, and when she shuts the door behind her, I feel my heart pulse with hurt, eyes filling with tears. And as the driver pulls away from the house and I turn to look out of the rear window, being met with the sight of Jimin stood there, watching the car drive away, his eyes shining with tears, I can’t hold back my own, sobbing as if my heart would break.

#ficswithluv #fwlbingo #smutcentralnet #bangtanhq #bangtanarmynet #btswriterscollective #ksmutclub #btsgoldnet #bangtanidx #btspocnet #kwritersworldnet #btsghostie #magicshopnet #bts #bts park jimin #bts series #BTS jimin #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #bts au #bts imagines #park jimin #park jimin smut #park jimin fanfic #park jimin au

[captainshazamerica]

If this Bruce doesn't adopt Tim I will! But I'm kinda scared for Tim I mean he's either gonna end up with Buce or the titans at some point, im afraid that something terrible is gonna happen his family and then titans/bruce takes him in? That boy loves batman and robin so much like even his family seeing the news knew how much it would upset him although I will say that for the brain that kid has he makes some pretty stupid decisions, hes driving around GOTHAM plastered in the bat-symbol that's not a good idea! the amount of lunatics that roam free in Gotham (and possibly have escaped from arkham) and hate the bat and hes driving around with the bat symbol on him KID be careful!

Some kind of Anti-fear toxin does seem more accurate cuz he's clearly taking something to not be afraid. Maybe it's something he found in Gotham and decided to try it and got addicted so he's using that lab place to try recreate it? and maybe he can't recreate it perfectly cuz in the crowbarring scene he seemed kinda anxious about his surroundings and he'd just taken that inhaler thing to overcome fear so I dunno?? Or maybe he went to arkham to see Crane for some reason and Crane has orchestrated the whole thing and told him about the drug but then wouldn't Crane have to know everyone's identity then? Dude I dunno I need more episodes even tho the low quality glitchyness is painful lol

There's probably an abundance of rooms to choose from at Wayne manor yet Jason takes Dicks old room and keeps the flying graysons posters up! I like to think that he does view dick as an older brother and just took his room to kind of have a connection to him and that he admires him hence the graysons posters being left up, yooo dick calling him his brother! I really want a nice family reunion with dick jason and bruce 💕

Babs was too mean to bruce when she went off like I get where she's coming from but yo lady his son just died dial it down like a notch yikes but also babs being like 'i wonder how long it'll take for bruce to replace jason and dick is all 'what no the last thing bruce is gonna do is rope another kid into this mess'. Cut to scene of Bruces potential robin folder 😅 but I also like that dick was trying to be considerate and compose himself for bruce but once he found out that bruce is idiot enough to pull another kid into this, that that's when he got mad and bruce so brokenly begging dick to come back and be robin 😢😢😢

I know the show is constantly trying to push bruce out/sideline him cuz it's a titans show not a bruce wayne show and I know they're going for a different portrayal of bruce which I'm not complaining about I do like this version of bruce (more than I thought actually) and this universe but I feel like they could have gave more cracks you know, I like that they showed him trying to avoid the reality of jasons death and just not stopping not even for a second and just immediately jump into another case and that breakdown verge where he's begging dick to be robin and then when he finally I guess let's the weight of jasons loss sit on him to the point where he whacks in jokers head with a crowbar just like he killed jason (he could have killed joker so many other ways like a less violent bullet to the head but oh no brucey crowbars him to death!!)

There's a lot of character stuff that i do like but that scene where he's in the cave on his knees scrubbing his sons blood out of the suit he died in, the suit that he only ever wore because of batman. 😢 I feel like they could have had him crack there and let out a gut wrenching scream and then just continue on doing what he was doing as if nothing happened and dick walking in on that should have had more of a reaction!? like he could have stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brothers blood all over his father and bruce screaming, dick could have like took a step back almost like he's gonna run but forces himself to stay there, because who wouldn't want to run from that and no matter how much horrible things you've dealt with before sometimes your brain does just take over against your will and makes you react, the rest of the scene just could have played out the way it did. Literally one ounce more emotion is all I wanted.

No one really emotionally cracked at jasons death. I get that it just happened and that people put walls up and denial can be such a prominent thing when a loved one dies but it couldn't have been that difficult to put in little mannerisms now and again to show that everyone is deeply hurt but holding it in. Honestly gar seemed more hurt to me than dick did. But I do like that dick reacted in detective mode and started trying to figure things out from jasons side so at least there's that.

This redhood is defo not an anti hero he has well and truly landslided into villian territory and I dunno how that's gonna be reconciled? they better not kill him off! and they better not just straight up keep redhood/jason as a full on villian! but if they do get through to jason and bring him back a little how the heck is that little man gonna deal with what he did to Hank?? I feel like they had a bond you know and for all Hanks talk about putting Jason down I really don't think that Hank would actually have killed him even if it came down to Hanks life vs Jasons I think Hank would rather die than kill Jason (but that's heavily biased cuz in my mind jason is my son and I freaking love hank sooo) but Hank to me puts on a hard front like 'yeah I'll get in your face I'll come at you b*tch' but internally he's like 'yeah I'll come at you to help you' 😅 like internally he defo has a lot of soft spots though that's not to say he'd be like this for someone like the joker or scarecrow or whatever guys like that he'd be like no screw you you die or go to arkham like byeee

Nevermind how jason is gonna come back from this though HOW IN THE ACTUAL SH*T is dawn gonna come back from this!!?!!

Random side note here but imagine Jasons first time in the batcave he would be so excited and trying to mess with everything and being like ohh what's that do and pressing random buttons and bruce having a hernia trying to get jason to stop before he accidentally blows the cave up 😅 also he has probably been caught several times trying to 'borrow' the batmobile, I can just picture him trying to sneak down the halls of the manor without the floor creaking and making it all the way into the cave and doing a victory dance cuz he didn't get caught and he hops on into the batmobile in his pj's and let's out a scream cuz alfred is sitting in the freakin passenger seat waiting for him and then they just hang out in the batmobile alfred had the good foresight to bring a flask of tea books and a blanket for jason

Speaking of Alfred I think it would have been more angsty and hurtful if Alfred died shortly after Jason and after a few days Jason claws his way out his grave and the first thing he sees is Alfreds headstone and that's how he finds out Alfred died : (((

This is so long girl I'm sorry I know it doesn't seem like it but I did restrain myself 😅 one more thing before I go maybe this Dick is the absolute worst mf and the reason babs feels betrayed by him and is so upset with him could be that he left her (or cheated on her) with Dawn cuz of that weird flashback thingy in the other season where dick dawn was a thing I dunno I hope not though that would be ughhh

Oh crap, you right about probably something bad will happen to Tim for Bruce or Titans to take him in, I was gonna say he could just demand to be in their lives to save Bruce/Dick like in the comics but he also has kinda shitty parents normally and these people seem cool so really it could go either direction, but like it’s Titans so it doesn’t look good lol. Also, I wonder if it’s gonna be Dick who is basically gonna adopt him this time since we already had a huge track record in just 2 seasons lmao. But I know right, true I like how his parents knew immediately how much the news would effect him 😭 I hope he goes down the making himself robin and forcing himself in Dick and Bruce’s life xD I love that route. Lmao, the kid is all book smart, very little street smart when it doesn’t have to do with outsmarting someone XD

I was also rewatching and that gas he takes def has to be some anti fear toxin cause he mentions fear so many times and flash backed to his near death fall, which he felt was probably holding him and back and thus had to prove himself and adds to whatever is influencing him. But ohhh he did seem pretty dang anxious at the carnival grounds, that’s a really interesting theory but recreating something he found hmm, I can see that.

Apparently according to a YouTube who got to see the first 5 episodes, we find out what his deal is a lot more in episode 5, so one more week hopefully

Brooo trueee, I couldn’t believe jason took dick’s room and like didn’t even change anything. Like Jason looks or at least use to look up to Dick SO much, like in his first episode in the first season, he went on quite a lot about how much he had always wanted to meet him and how much he looked up to him, which is probably also fueling his red hood rage, being hurt by your idol and brother like he did in S2 must have really just killed the boy. But yes omg, there freaking better be a dang family reunion scene like, after so much angst we deserve that 😭

And yesss, I loved seeing how mature Dick is getting and just how much he is growing as a character, the fact he was so calm and considerate with Bruce at first really shows that compared to s1 Dick, only breaking when Bruce tried to get more kids involved. That scene by Brenton was sooo well acted omg, the way he yelled that he doesn’t want to robin again, heartbreaking man. And Bruce begging like that omg

Yeah, this version of Bruce is def so different than any Bruce we have seen on screen before, like def the most emotionally constipated, and that’s saying something xD But I like how they are taking a risk, it also helps Dick’s character more and give him more of an arc, as he seems to be taking on Bruce’s normal role with Jason and red hood. Bro, you are so right omg, like the fact Bruce could have killed the joker in any way and he does it with the dang crowbar. It really shows how broken he really was and why the man shouldn’t depressing any and every damn feeling and emotion lol.

Omg, I love how you have the exact details of what you wanted to happen in that one Bruce and Dick scene 😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 bro if you dont already you should totally write fanfics cause that was so detailed, I love it

Yeah, I do wish someone cracked (other than Bruce lmao) a bit more, but I do think each character reacted in character though, like it is very Dick(at least this version of Dick, other versions may break down tbh) to put everything into solving the case and figuring out what was up, that’s more this version’s way of caring than just breaking down, like he rarely ever has broken down completely. I think dawn could have been a little more emotional about the death (tho she has enough coming for her lmao). Connor didn’t know Jason that well so it makes sense he would just be sad. Gar seemed pretty sad and in character about it, maybe could have had a bit more, same with Kori, tho she showed it by being almost angry and fiercely protective of everyone else, so I think that makes sense for her. It would have been interesting to see how Rachel and Rose would have reacted though (where did rose go btw?! She would so have a reaction to Jason’s death). But yeah, i wish there was more resolution and break downs for Jason, but also it may have just not felt real since they weren’t there? But I agree

You think? Idk, I think they could def still make him an anti hero towards the end, especially if it’s crane behind the whole thing. Cause if they don’t they are gonna have to go down the gosh awful overused villain gets redeemed while he dies/only to die right freaking after , and I will be so freaking livid if they do that omg. Like they better freaking not. But true, he would be broken by what he did to Hank, oh yikes. But I can see him then that leading to the anti hero path, like he would never go back to be on the titans cause he would feel too guilty, thus giving more of a reason for the anti hero life. But I know, I loved Jason and Hank’s love hate relationship 😭😭😭😭 You know Hank secretly loved the kid and probably saw himself in him.

Yikes poor dawn, you right. Like I have no idea how she is gonna be now like wow.

OMG GIRL, You are on a hc angst train today!!!! That scenario of Alfred dying right after jason and Jason climbing out to see Alfred’s?! Heartbreaking!

But I can’t believe they killed Alfred off so casually tho😭

Omg I swear if they freaking show Dick having cheated on Babs I will be so freaking pissed omg, he better have not! Im hoping they had a more high school romance thing/grew up together then got together type of thing

And omg don’t apologize I LOVED IT and reading your asks!!! I feel ya too!

#batanon #titans #titans spoilers #Titans S3 #titans season 3 #Titans speculation #speculation #ask #Meredith gets an ask #Jason Todd #dick Grayson #Meredith thoughts

[pixelated-pogues]

can you write a blurb for rafe with random nr. 8?✨

Omg, yes, of course! I’m sorry that this is so delayed!

Prompt: 8. “Can you please...? Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe put a shirt on?”

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: None

-----------------------

Being a kook by birth but choosing to slum with the Pogues comes with many pros and cons. The many pros include being able to help your less fortunate friends, surrounding yourself in a carefree environment that gets you away from the mundane, being friends with somewhat everyone, and the list could go on. The many cons to being both a kook and a Pogue all seem to have some sort of a connection with Rafe Cameron. 

You’ve known him since you were five, your families naturally intermingled when you became next-door neighbors so many years ago. After being in such close quarters with someone for so many years, you’d think that there’d be a tight-knit friendship to go with it, but that never happened with Rafe. In fact, your relationship with him has always been quite the opposite even though he’s your brother’s best friend. You’ve always been known to get on each other's nerves as much as humanly possible, and always try to limit the time you spend in the same vicinity because you can’t stand being in close quarters for long periods of time. 

So, waking up with a raging headache and Rafe’s arm draped over your torso was a little surprising, to say the least.

“What the hell,” you gasp, abruptly sitting up in the bed. You glance around the room, your eyes bleary from sleep as you try to make sense of your surroundings. You groggily rub your eyes before taking the time to study the room again. Your eyes fall on a picture frame on the dresser, a photo of the Cameron family staring back at you. The realization that you’re in Rafe’s room begins setting in, a deep feeling of dread coming with it, as your eyes fall on the pile of clothes on the floor next to the bed. “No, no, no, no,” you repeat, throwing the covers off of your body. You carefully step over the clothes, finally taking the notice that the shirt Rafe wore to the party last night was hanging off of your frame. You grip at the fabric, a surprised gasp falling from your lips as you stare at it in disbelief.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rafe’s voice asks from behind you, causing you to spin towards him in shock. He’s curled into his blankets, hair completely disheveled and eyes barely open as he looks at you in confusion. You choose to ignore how attractive his voice sounds when it’s all raspy due to just waking up; your eyes narrowing at him. 

“What the hell am I doing here,” you huff, not answering his question. Your head spins slightly at the endless reasons as to why you woke up in his bed, all of them ending with the same answer. 

“You don’t remember anything from last night?” He yawns, finally sitting up. The covers fall from their position on his shoulders, putting his bare chest on display for you to see. 

“Do you think I’d still be here talking to you if I remembered anything,” your eyes narrow further, an annoyed sigh falling from your lips before you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, nibbling on it nervously. His eyes scan over your figure, lips curling into a slight smile, before he meets your gaze again. 

“You really want to know,” he questions, the smirk on his face filling you with dread. 

“Yes, Rafe, I really want to know,” you groan, crossing your arms over your chest. You hesitantly take a seat on his bed, as far away as you can without falling off, before looking at him again. “Can you please...? Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe put a shirt on? I’m not really interested in seeing you half-naked.” 

“Well, seeing as you’re wearing my shirt, I don’t think I’ll be putting it on. Unless you’re willing to give it back,” he shoots you a suggestive wink smirking at the scoff you spill in response. “Besides, all you wanted to do was tear my shirt off last night, so I find that statement a little hard to believe.”

“You’re disgusting,” you roll your eyes, pushing yourself off of his bed to find your clothes. “I can’t believe I was drunk enough to go home with you.” Embarrassed tears sting at the corner of your eyes as you clumsily stumble around the room, still slightly buzzed from the night before. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“Woah, Y/n, I was kidding. I mean, you were trying to take my clothes off last night, but nothing happened,” he explains, his tone serious. “We didn’t do anything.” 

“Then what the hell happened, Rafe? Because waking up half-naked in your bed with you doesn’t exactly give me any reason to believe that nothing happened,” you spin towards him, frustrated at the few tears that slip from your eyes. He stands up, stalking to his closet to grab a shirt before facing you again, sliding it over his toned frame.

“Calm down,” he murmurs, closing the gap between the two of you. His hand reaching up to wipe the evidence of your tears away as you stare at him in confusion. “I know that this looks really bad and that you have no reason to trust me, but I swear that nothing happened. You were really out of it and passed out. Tristan (we’ll pretend that that’s your brother's name) was occupied with Olivia and clearly had no intention of taking you home, so I brought you here.”

 “You brought me here, and nothing happened,” you repeat, processing the brief amount of information he shared. Your eyes fall to the ground, relief flooding your system. “But, how did I end up in your clothes?”

“Oh, uh-,” he cuts himself off, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “You woke up when I brought you upstairs and started taking your clothes off. You kept telling me that my shirt looked more comfortable, so I gave it to you before convincing you to go to sleep. I tried sneaking into the guest room but you started crying and begged me to stay with you. There was a lot that happened, but that’s a brief summary. Nothing to worry about, seriously.” 

“I’m sorry,” you reply awkwardly, finding with the hem of his shirt. “I know spending the night taking care of me isn’t exactly on your list of things to do.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismisses. “It was kind of nice being around you and not being completely infuriated by your presence. I feel like I actually got to see you, and I kind of liked it.”

“Rafe Cameron, are you admitting that you like me?” You tease, giggling at the way that he rolls his eyes in exasperation. 

“All I’m saying is that I was able to tolerate your drunk ass all night,” he plays along, lightly shoving your shoulder. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”

---------------------------------

A/N: This is a hot mess, and I kind of hate it, but it’s the first post I’ve written in over a week....so we’ll roll with it. I hope you like it bb!! 

taglist: @thelocalpogue @kitluvs1 @maaybanks @thatsme-johnbookerroutledge @drewstarkey @maybankdreams @ssjiara @bluebirdsbluebells @spilledtee @outcrbanx @maebanks @poguemacking

ps. if you wanna be added to that list, let me know! I’ve been a mess and haven’t written like anything, but I plan to get back into a routine now that my head is in a better place! 

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron blurbs #rafe obx #rafe cameron obx #outer banks #outer banks blurbs #obx #obx blurbs

[that-one-author]

Hi! Is it possible to request a young!Dumbledore (Fantastic Beasts) x female reader fic, in which Dumbledore catches the reader self harm after suspecting it for a while, even though she’s always been deflecting, and then comforts and hugs/kisses her and shows her his own scars?

A/N: OMG! Hi!! This is my first request and to say I am excited is an understatement! I’m really sorry that it took a while, anon. The day I was going to write this, a big storm came through where I live and took out my internet for the entire day. Ok, now to the story! (Ahh! I’m so excited!!)

Paring: Young!Albus Dumbledore x fem!depressed!Reader

Warning(s): Mentions of self-harm, depression, suicide, and possible triggering content.

Key: (Y/n) = Your name

        (y/f/t) = your favorite tea

Synopsis: (Takes places during the Fantastic Beasts Era at Hogwarts) You, the astronomy teacher at Hogwarts School, have been suffering from depression for a very long time, and you were about to end you life, when a good friend by the name of Albus Dumbledore stops you and convinces you to live.

Fun Fact: Dumbledore was canonically gay and he and Grindlewald actually dated for awhile, until Grindlewald and Dumbledore began seeing things separate ways and they broke up. Ever since then, Dumbledore has been canonically asexual.

You sat at your desk at an ungodly late hour, writing and revising a letter to no one in particular. With a sigh, you put the feather pen down and read over your letter. You were happy with this final draft. No, not happy. You haven’t truly felt so in a very long time. Which, you suppose, was your reason for writing the letter. You set the letter on your desk and made your way to the Astronomy Tower, the place where you would be happy once more.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~

Unbeknownst to you, a friend made his way to your office. He has been suspecting that there’s something wrong with you for a while now but never acted upon his hunch until now. Albus Dumbledore walked with a slow step, still wondering if he should intrude upon you so late at night. He was almost at your door when he decided to turn back. He lifted up his head to turn when he saw that your door was open.

“How strange.” Albus thought as he walked towards your door much faster. Upon arriving, he called out your name. When you didn’t respond he rushed in the room.

“(Y/n)?” Albus walked around a (Y/n)-bare room, eventually coming upon your desk where the letter lay. Albus picked it up and read through it. With a shock, he realized that this wasn’t any normal letter, but a suicide-note. He read through it once more, quite quickly, looking for any sign of where you might be until he found his answer. Within the note, you stated that you would be jumping from the Astronomy Tower.

Albus dropped the note and rushed to the Tower. Thankfully you were the Astronomy professor, making your office quite close to the Tower. But it wasn’t close enough.

Albus arrived only to see you take the final step off of the Tower’s balcony. He rushed to the window, pulled out his wand, and shouted, “Arresto-Momentum!”

                                                     ~~~~~~~~~~

You stopped about two feet from the ground, feeling very surprised. And angry. Who stopped me!? And why?! I don’t have anyone or anything to live for anymore, so just let me die! You thought.

Soon, came an out-of-breath Albus, who just ran down the steps of the Astronomy Tower and is now running towards you.

“(Y/n)!” Albus dropped onto his knees next to you, checking for any injuries. When he saw that you were hurt, physically, he pulled you in for a hug. “Merlin’s Beard, I thought I lost you!”

Those words should have made you feel happy, content, relaxed even! But they only fueled your rage. You pushed Albus away from you.

“Why did you do that?” You hissed.

Albus said nothing, he just looked at you with a small, knowing smile.

“Stop, stop looking at me like that.”

But he didn’t, and you suddenly felt very exposed. You wrapped your arms around yourself and Albus took this as a sign that he could approach you again. He hugged you once more and you started to cry. Once the tears started, you couldn’t stop them and Albus just let you cry onto his shoulder. You cried for a very long time until your body seemed to run out of tears to cry and you sniffled a few times instead.

Albus finally spoke, “I stopped you because I know, and I couldn’t bear to see you die.”

You looked up at him, feeling a wide range of confusing emotions. Albus sensed this and stood up, helping you do so as well.

“Would you like a cup of tea? I, myself, find them the perfect comfort for times like these.”

You nodded, clutching one of Albus’ arms as though it was your lifeline, and you guessed that it was, in a sense.

Albus led you to his room, where he started the tea, while you sat at the small table that was in the room. While the tea was cooking, neither of you said anything, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. After a long while, the tea finished, and Albus joined you at the table, along with two cups of (y/f/t). You took the cup he offered you and took a small sip. You looked down at the cup of tea and you felt threatened to fall apart again.

Before you could, however, Albus cleared his throat, “So-”

“What did you mean by ‘I know’?” You interrupted, still not looking up from your tea.

Albus smiled, “I mean, that I know. That I understand what you are going through.”

You scoffed, “How could you possibly understand what I’m going through.”

“Because I went through it too.”

“Huh?” You looked up from your tea to Albus looking at you with a sad look in his eyes.

“When my sister died,” he began, “I felt responsible for her death. And that, among other things, pushed me towards the edge. I nearly ended my own life as well, before I was stopped by being asked to become a professor at Hogwarts. After my first day of teaching under Professor Black, I realized that I needed to stay and teach the students. I found my life’s calling, in a way, and teaching began to slowly heal me. To say that I’m no longer plagued by such thoughts would be lying, I just know, now, how to better control them.”

“How, how did you learn how to control them?”

“Well, talking about it helps sometimes. But mostly I found that being with a good friend helps the best.” He flashed one of his famous smiles, the ones that hold a mischievous, yet comforting, feel as he took a drink of his tea.

That smile made you realize something, that all the times you guys went to the Three-Broomsticks for no particular reason and the times that you two talked the night away within the courtyard or one another's rooms weren’t just innocent times hanging out with a co-worker. They had meaning, and on both ends, it seemed.

“Wait, so you mean,” you started.

“That you’re one of my best friends here at Hogwarts? Yes. Wait, on second thought, no. You are my best friend, (Y/n). I honestly don’t know where I would be without you.” This time Albus smiled, it reached his eyes, and you knew that what he was saying was true and not just an attempt to make you happy.

“I, you, I. I.” you sighed suddenly feeling more relieved than you have in a long time. “You’re my best friend too. I honestly don’t think I realized that until just now.”

                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~

The rest of the night was spent by you two talking about each other’s grievances, slowly healing each other. And you felt, deep inside, that things were going to get better, and that you were going to try to make them better. Which, after all, is a good place as any to start.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: There it is folks! My first fanfic on Tumblr! I hope you liked it! (Especially you, Anon, since you were the one who requested it!) If there was anything you feel could have been better, my DMs are always open! (Constructive Criticism/good comments only though. I will not tolerate unnecessary rudeness or aggressiveness!) On a more serious note, depression is no easy thing to go through, and it really does help to talk about it. My DMs will always be open to anyone who wants to talk. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and as mentioned in the fanfic, Trying is really a great place to start. Once again, you do NOT have to go through this alone! 

#albus dumbledore #x reader #fbawtft #fantastic beats #albus dumbledore x reader

[taeguboi]

BTS HC - Lockdown

In which each BTS member lives with y/n

I’m hoping these imagines might lighten the mood for anyone who might be feeling a bit lonely right now.

Please see the end of post first if you need some context or wish to see the notes

RM

Has good balance of me time and us time

steps back when you both need space

sitting in the back yard on some chair reading a book

taking in the sun

The restrictions don’t hinder him from making sure you both get plenty of sun and fresh air

it isn’t much but in week 1, he gave the back yard a little tidy up

turned it into a place to chill out

so there aren’t any flower planted or decor

but it makes all the difference

there’s chairs, a table and a parasol

to you, this is perfect

Spot of tea under cooler weather

or orange juice under the sun

Board games at the table in the back yard

you tried cards once out there but even just the slightest breeze...

“Goddammit!!!”

The card games are for when it rains

or for when neither of you quite feel like going out today

He swears you’re cheating at UNO

you swear he’s just really bad at it

turns out he keeps saving those wild 4 draw cards too long

which you gather over his last 3 rage quits 

because he just slings the cards, revealing them to you

“You play it too safe” you tell him

so he plays it a bit less safe

“Yes! Finally I won!”

“OH! Look at that!” you smile

he smiles back because of how proud you...

“...it’s sunny again!”

‘Goddammit y/n...’

Shopping trips together

not so helpful when the rules get stricter

“One adult at a time please...”

oh dear

who goes in?

so you go in

“Crap! Namjoon has the shopping list!”

this period of time really shows how you complete each other

pretty much every day you each think

“what would I do without him/her?”

Random talks

he tells you about this one book he read

and now you want to read it

so you do

and you can’t take your eyes off it

you find a new love for reading

so sometimes when you both need me time

you remain in the same room, just reading a book each

Every day you feel enlightened

almost sad at the thought of going back to normal life

because you won’t have as much time for yourself

Jin

Everyone is suddenly having the time to cook from scratch

imagine Jin’s frustration since he did this all along

so when certain things he usually gets aren’t in stock

“Oh for crying out loud!”

you sometimes have to calm him down when shopping

and since only 1 adult in at a time it’s like a really awkward phone call

you’re just stood outside alone like

“For Christ’s sake Jin! Calm down!”

but he makes every meal taste great anyway

“Sorry it doesn’t have the usual...”

“Jin, please!” you reply

because it’s still really yummy because

“you’re still the best cook in the world, okay?”

“Okay fine...” he sighs “Thank you”

can I just add here food is the only time you both get hysterical at each other

He still low key hoard particular ingredients when he FINALLY can get them

and you have to explain how irrational he’s being

“We don’t need SIX tubes of tomato puree!”

“Jin... How are we going to use up all THIS fruit and veg before it goes off?”

But he’s not selfish, no

if he’s in a shop and sees someone elderly, he helps them out

“Would you like me to reach that for you?”

“Do you need any toilet paper? There’s 2 packs left - here”

“Here’s my number; let me know if you need me to run any errands for you”

ahh you’re lucky to be living with such a gentleman

Daily walks in the park to feed the ducks

“This is the best kind of exercise” he tells you “...relaxed and where you can connect with nature”

some of the ducks at the beginning of the lockdown are a bit nutty

Jin may or may not be low key scared of that one goose

“I swear it’s giving me the evils”

it may or may not have chased him the second day in

“Wahhhhhh!!!”

*Jin running away in the distance*

You cooked for him that evening

“Honey, I don’t know how to put this...”

“Aw sweetie it’s okay about what happened in the park; I mean you were the one holding the bread and...”

“oh no no” he replies. “this meal is awful”

r00d

but it’s okay

you knew the minute you offered to make dinner it wasn’t going to turn out well

so you both agree the kitchen will be his space to work his magic in during lockdown

and he somehow gets better than he already is at cooking

just woowwww

foodgasm

but neither of you get podgy

Lazy exercises together

chair exercises watching the tv

small periods of jogging in the woods

“oh wow, what’s that?”

you come across some random squirrel

and all of a sudden trips to the park for that daily walk 

it turns into a nature watch

bird watching

luckily he forgets about the angry goose

Sometimes talking about what you miss

and then promising to do all of those things when everything is back to normal

so many plans

and it helps you both stay optimistic

because you just created a bunch of stuff to look forward to

Suga

Late night movie marathons

and accidentally getting into a routine of late mornings late nights

Cooking together

because neither of you want to do it

but someone has to

can’t live on instant food for all this time

Night time walks

less people, less danger

please don’t yell at me if we’re not supposed to do this in real life I haven’t actually been out that late during lockdown hahaha

it’s only around a few blocks

but deep talks, you know

There may not be much room in the back garden

but you have a ball and a hoop

basketball together

he teaches you to shoot better

“yes! I did it!”

*he hugs you from behind*

sorry that was gay

He’s actually quite chill about the whole lockdown situation

almost like he forgets the circumstances sometimes

“I think I might nip down to _____’s house today...”

“Uh, Yoongi, remember?”

“Oh yeah”

Detective series marathons too

the two of you trying to figure out whodunnit

sometimes even low key bets or light arguments if you disagree

a mildly sore loser when you’re correct

smug af when he is correct

Evenings lounging in the back yard with the drink of your choice

some quiet music on 

random hypothetical conversations and questions about life

“what if...”

“what happened to...”

“don’t you think that cloud looks like a goldfish?”

Board games that keep the brain stimulated

why is he so good at scrabble

you can’t recall a game you’ve won

but no monopoly

not after the last time

“I want a divorce!”

“We’re not married”

“Yet”

tbf you might as well be an old married couple

because there’s those films you just watch over and over

close to unlocking the power of mind reading

“want a cup of tea?”

“omg I was about to ask that”

Some days you get on each other’s nerves a little though

so you each occupy yourselves with little chores

and even though you weren’t in the mood to do anything together

you’ve just made the house look great in a day as a team

and you’ve got everything you need just in time for dinner

“I’m proud of us”

“I’m proud of us too”

J-Hope

Picnics in the back garden

much better than one in the park though

there’s no packing involved

there’s cushions

sometimes low key fine dining

your favourite is the one evening picnic the other day

you had been shopping alone for the essentials

and he wanted to surprise you

he had set up a makeshift table out of a few old crates

did the cooking

the pasta dish was lovely

there was even dessert

okay the dessert was M&S

fairy lights

seriously you swear you weren’t out for that long how did he manage all of this so fast?

wine

staring at the stars

and there were blankets too

dozing off until early hours of the morning

finally coming indoors at like 2am

sleeping in til noon oops haha

then binge watching some random show together 

and now it’s your new favourite

For some reason you have a big stock of popcorn

watching any old crap on the TV as an excuse to eat it

like there’s 3 films on this afternoon that sound shite

but you’re going to watch them all anyway

and the third one is actually really good

more popcorn more films

“we should probably go out at some point...”

whoops it’s been like 4 days now

and now it’s raining damn

fuck it, you go out anyway

dancing in the rain in an empty park

followed by shivering on the walk home

he gets in the shower first

but then runs a lovely hot bath for you

candles, bubble bath, the works

just so you can have some relaxing time to yourself

so thoughtful

lockdown doesn’t mean needing to compromise on showing you love each other

Jimin

You’re not quite sure how you got pulled into this

but Jimin decided to make use of his YouTube following

Virtual dance classes

and fun little exercise sessions for all the family

He does the dance classes solo

but he loves to flaunt you to the world even in lockdown

“Today joining me for this session... my lovely significant other, y/n!”

at first you felt uncertain and a little conscious

but thanks to Jimin your confidence grew

He helps you stay positive during a tough time

and you even feel like your self improvement has been going amazingly well

he even inspires you to make your own channel

to show the world what you love; [insert hobby/interest here]

people love the both of you

they go to Jimin’s channel to keep fit and happy

and your channel just fills them with joy

But not everything revolves around the virtual world

Care packages for all of your friends

food and other essentials get mailed to the ones that lost their jobs

and for the ones still working, a bundle of stuff for their mental well being

and a little drawing with rainbow colours in each

and a positive message

Woolly jumpers, cushions and hot chocolate

sweater paws

Sometimes in the evening you doze off

like you fall asleep just as you are

and you wake up to the smell of food and a blanket over you

Sometimes you miss your friends

and Jimin hates to see you down

so he organises a big surprise

his hands over your eyes as he walks you into the living room

“surprise!” you hear over the laptop

and then Jimin hands you some gifts 

he asked them all a few days ago to send you something meaningful

and your heart just melts

and you may or may not cry a little in front of your friends on the video call

you just have to do something in return so

You make the living room all nice whilst he’s making a video in the garden

wow you’re actually quite proud

the lighting is just right

the improv decor is actually somewhat aesthetic

“Honey, why’s it so dull in here..... Woah, what’s this?”

“Dinner’s ready” you smile

and you have a gift for him too

you can’t wipe the smile off his face when he sees it

a scrapbook of memories between you and him

which you look through after eating

“We’re going to make more memories like this once this blows over”

V

Lots of online socialising

Calls with his friends 

which you always end up being a part of in the background with your commentaries

Cute online double dates with Jimin and/or your best friend

Will try everything and anything to kill the boredom

“look what I found in the bargain bin at the supermarket!”

“Tae, I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to take up crocheting...”

but actually it turns out to be more fun that you thought

he has his little ways of making everything fun

one day you guys just find some random paints in a cupboard

and WOW

he’s so good at it

such beautiful landscapes

Makes sure that you both maintain some sort of routine

“best make sure we have an early night lovely”

“why? it’s not like there’s much to do tomorrow”

but no matter how sceptical you may be at times

he’s determined to be your sunshine

he helps you stay sane

makes everything sound productive

“because tomorrow we are going to make a playlist for when we walk, feed the ducks, go shopping, learn how to make a new dish...”

makes you a cup of tea just because

or breakfast in bed

the perfect companion

caring about even the people he can’t physically be with

“we haven’t heard from _____ in a while; we should drop a phone call or something”

but it isn’t just a phone call

it’s also a letter in the mail a few days later

plus a painting for the close friends

Dressing up really formal for a home date

3 course meal, courtesy of the microwave

then a slow dance in the living room

always the romantic

“tonight was amazing... will I see you again?”

“you are terrible Tae, you really are!”

such a joker

he keeps you smiling through it all

Jungkook

Tries to get you to go on daily jogs with him

“Can’t I just walk?”

“Come on, y/n; get those endorphins running through you!”

you try like once

*wheezing*

nope

Nintendo switch

Not that I have one welp

I can just imagine it okay

Lots of active games

thrashes you at Wii Sports Tennis

but you whoop his ass at Bowling

he does most of the shopping

so that he can go for a jog first

and also so he’s not out too often in any one day, two birds one stone and all that

Doesn’t quite always get the shopping list right….

“Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“I wrote 1-2 bananas… You’ve brought back 12”

blames your handwriting

Small bits of banter like this keep you both sane

and he eats all those bananas in like 2 days

“What? There was no cereal in the shop”

someone teach this boy to cook please

*brings back like a crate load of instant noodles*

at least it means you’ve come up with something to pass the time

teaching Jungkook some basic meals

maybe beginning with breakfast first thing in the morning wasn’t the best idea

“Jungkook! I said keep an eye on it!”

“I did”

and he literally just watched the bacon burn instead of regularly flipping it over

bless

Singing to you whilst snuggling on the couch

bliss

meme-y dances before bed time

like you’ll be sat in bed maybe watching tv / reading

and something moves in the corner of your eye

oh my word Jungkook

*insert all the meme-y dances you have even seen him do*

the biggest dork

can’t stop laughing at his own silliness afterwards

jumps into the bed and puts his head on your shoulder

falls asleep like this quite fast

well you aren’t surprised since he’s always so energetic

Small campfires in the back garden

the best marshmallows you’ve ever had

and it’s so much fun

campfire stories

usually people have a guitar around the fire

not Jungkook though, no

*serenades you with a ukulele purposely singing out of tune*

has you in stitches

people in the neighbouring houses hear the laughter and some think it’s insensitive to be laughing so much

but seriously, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?

So I thought I’d make a post around the strange times many of us are living in. Whilst I get that some readers may not be in a situation like mine (UK) so a quick bit of context for you even though I made the location / country ambiguous in my writing. The circumstances explained in the imagines though are of course based on my experiences in England.

Right now, we are limited in what we do; only essential shops are open, (supermarkets, pharmacies, etc,) the country is being advised to go out as little as possible, (only for food shopping, medical reasons and exercise,) social gatherings aren’t allowed, our death rate has been increasing due to the virus (even our prime minister has it,) and our NHS is overwhelmed - currently more than 10,000 being treated as I’m listening to the news and writing this note. 

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the right thing by staying indoors and maintaining social distancing.

#ps sorry some are longer imagines than others #bts #bts fiction #bts headcanons #bts headcanon #bts fic #bts imagines #bts fanfic #namjoon #rm #kim namjoon #seokjin #jin #kim seokjin #yoongi #suga #min yoongi #hoseok #jhope #jung hoseok #jimin #park jimin #bts jimin #v #bts v #taehyung #kim taehyung #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts fluff

[cloudy-dayys]

Tell me more about your sky spirit

final hope? omg i havent gotten an ask about them in so long tysm!!!

ill do their backstory info about them plus some facts!! (this is an AU since i dont know actual lore about the game, its fun guessing and including my character!)

-

Final Hope, lesser known as 'Courageous Swordsman', started off as a normal person within wasteland (before everything hit the fan). They always had an interest in fighting and being a leader, so they were recruited to join the army and train alongside the captain. They even reported to the Elder of the land for more serious training and began to grow within the ranks. Soon enough, they themselves were an off branching captain, guarding the realm with Elder and an army man. They didn't work well with the common spears and shields, so with the help of forest Elder and wasteland Elder, crafted a sword of light that is more durable and handy for them.

They trained and trained until they became the perfect soldier with said sword. Many were scared to approach them due to their hardness of shell, but they were respected with fear nonetheless.

However, it all came crashing down when the realms went under attack because of the corruption from the king. The Swordsman never knew or associated themselves with the king, due to the fact that they didn't trust nor believe in a monarchy like that. Darkness grew, buildings collapsed, the dark dragons came in and killed every source of light they saw, flashes of storms and destruction caused mayhem. Eden, what was known as, had been obliterated. Nothing could've been recovered, and the high winds took a toll on the vault, valley and wasteland.

Wasteland Elder recruited armies to try and recover bodies now dosed in darkness and survivors. However, Final Hope disobeyed orders in a fit of rage, and went above to Eden to try and somehow stop this murderous mess because of the king. The captain couldn't find them the minute they left, and was forced to keep helping people. There was no time.

Final Hope had one goal in mind and it was to kill the king with their sword of light. They took an army of people and they fought their way towards the top. Though, many had been killed off due to the sudden appearance of the dark dragons. This left Final Hope and 60-ish soldiers remaining and fighting their way.

When they finally reached the top, no one was expecting anything they saw.

Red flaming hot crystals scattered across the now destroyed area, what was left is now covered in rubble. The winds were so strong that it blew people back, flying into the red rocks and killing them almost instantly. (This is why you see the corpses everywhere in Eden.)

Final Hope had never been trained for this before. No one had been. They didn't know what to do. They saw their comrade's bodies strewn across the battle field, and the king's power and destruction grew by destroying light.

It was all terror. They'd wish it was a nightmare but it never ended. The darkness was so strong no one could even reach the afterlife. They were trapped within the storm.

Final Hope was in a blind fury of emotions, horror filled and anger had surpassed their collective thoughts, and now they were fighting off instinct.

The crystal in Eden grew to unbearable size, and so did the king. No matter how hard they fought, they were dying and couldn't stop it. They wanted to battle on, take vengeance for their people and for wasteland. Thousands were massacred because of the greed of the king and the Courageous Swordsman wanted to give light to the land. Even if it was for the last time.

The darkness and red crystals tore up their body, draining their light and killed them below the king. The best soldier in the lands had perished, and everyone thought there was no Hope left. Not when their beacon of peace, the sword of light, had been shattered.

The memories lived on, but not with the spirits and elders. They needed light, and they hadn't seen it for so long.

The lands formed and had grown used to the storms and darkness. They adapted and everything was too quiet, especially since everyone was dead.

That is until one day.

Miraculously, stars had fallen and gave birth to the skykids.

The skykids brought back life and light to the gloomy, dead realms, and even though the main citizens had perished, they got to live in the afterlife after the darkness on their bodies had been removed.

They were forgotten no mor.

But Final Hope had lay in ruins, taking so much damage to their corpse because they were left under the crystal. It was all so dark and cold, and there was shame and guilt in the raging winds.

Though, a skykid who resembled a moth crossed the storm, freeing the lost bodies with its light. After so much pain and suffering, and so many other skykids failing to get to the Courageous Soldier, this one gave light to Final Hope. They saw a bright shine, and suddenly, everything was a blissful peace.

Their memories danced along the battlefield, and their spirit helped protect the child that saved them. The kid collected the tragic memories of the commander, and as they pulled the crumbled sword out of the ground, they gave it their last winged light before dying and moving on to the afterlife.

It was warm again.

No restraints or pain. Just warmth.

Soon enough, Final Hope had broke free of their prison and permanently settled into the afterlife, being a secret spirit to find alongside the elders. They couldn't be reborn, but that's okay to them. At least they were at peace and get to see their friends and Elder again.

Many kids had grown attached to them, even though they most likely wanted to be left alone due to the gut wrenching guilt they still felt within their heart.

Moths took special interest in them because there was something alluring about the spirit that just wanted to be called out to. They wanted to be guided and protected after going through those torturous storms, and that was what the Swordsman was known for.

And so, Final Hope had given up and decided to try and be of help to these kids. They flew them through the stars and guided them through the paths as they collected their winged light from the other spirits. The moths stuck around the most, reassuring them and giving them hugs (something they were definitely not used to but welcomed nonetheless).

Lastly, as time grew, the Courageous Swordsman had accepted their new role as a guidance among the dead. They became softer, laying down their sword for the kids to keep. Their message was to live on the brave legacy, and to destroy the corruption that is still happening in the overworld.

The kids accepted, and now everytime one meets the spirit (since it is quite difficult to get to their body and relive memories), they are able to collect the sword for free.

Whispers flown about, and the name 'Final Hope' had stuck to the spirit among the kids. They were also called the Elder of Eden, even though they did not resemble an Elder. They took up these names with pride, and will continue to fight on to truly protect those they couldn't before.

The sword, it is a gift, from the Courageous Swordsman to you. Take care of the sharp light you will now wield, and restore order to the realms again. They will always watch over you, and as the strongest in the land, will guide you through. Heed their warnings, and do not take a path like they did. Keep fighting, for you shall bring the lost to their home.

-

thats a wrap on their backstory! it goes even more complicated than that lol

heres some facts:

Even though they were just a regular spirit, the skykids collectively decided to name the Swords man 'Final Hope' or 'Elder of Eden' for taking on such a big role. Now that is their common go to.

Their mask has been cracked open, revealing one of their eyes.

Due to them softening in the afterlife, they were more approachable for everyone. They became more affectionate and took on the unsaid title of a caretaker.

Only Final Hope can permanently destroy krills with their sword, since skykids haven't done as much training as the spirit did. Though, the children still can kill crabs and temporarily disable the krills.

They have an unrelated close bond with isle Elder, and they view him as a parental figure.

Many spirits still do not want to associate themselves with Final Hope because of the recklessness behavior they had acted out on in Eden, though, the wasteland spirits understand and keep the soldier company.

The wasteland Elder and Final Hope aren't on good terms for right now. There is a lot of anger they don't want to bring up.

Final Hope will forever live on with guilt and shame for killing hundreds of their army members. They take that blame.

They have severe depression and possible PTSD because of how they died and lost of loved ones.

They hold your hand in the afterlife and guide you to the gate, getting down on their knees and blessing you with the sword you can now find in cosmetics before you leave.

Since so many people liked their hair, they have made it an option to braid your hair like theirs is!

You will feel a sense of calmness around them.

You can buy a collectable pose from them, and from there, they can teach you some tricks with said pose to annihilate enemies of darkness.

They're very quiet and stealthy, even if they don't mean it. Be careful!

You can hang out with them before you leave. Many moths do!

#ask #rain talks #long post #final hope #sky children of the light #THANK U I HAD FUN WRITING THIS #this is all just a longer summary in story telling hehe