#omg it's only $12 per bottle

[fazcinatingblog]

i could really do with one of these right now

#please and thank you #omg it's only $12 per bottle #$71 for six of them holy shit yes please #maybe i'll just stick to the real jam donuts lmao #that's fine #i don't need alcohol #it's cool #i'll survive without it

[sunsetfanfics]

All I Want

(Jadon Sancho x Reader)

Jadon imagine where he really likes you but knows you won’t be with him because of his fboy lifestyle and you always joke about it and he tried to get you or something along those lines please if you can x

Warning: a bit of harsh language

You drag yourself into the break room, feet aching. Tom, your coworker, watched in amusement as you plopped down into the chair across from him, a sigh escaping your lips.

"Tired?"

You look up to see him smile, which you can't help but reciprocate.

"A bit, yeah."

"Only an hour left now, then you get to go home." He replies, to which you nod.

"Yeah, only an hour. You say that as if it'll magically make me feel better."

He shrugs. "It should. You've already worked for seven hours. Plus you have off tomorrow."

"I guess, can you get me a water?"

He chuckles and nods, getting up and walking over to the mini fridge in the corner.

"So, do you have any news on you-know-who?" He asks, receiving a groan in response.

"I think he knows, to be honest. It's not like I'm blowing him off or anything, but his lifestyle just,, isn't for me."

Tom nods, walking back over to hand you an ice cold bottle.

"Thank you." You mutter, receiving a nod in response.

"Well, do you like him?" He questions, sitting back down.

You twist off the cap and don't hesitate to take a swig of cold water.

Once you feel somewhat replenished, you put the bottle on the ground and twist the cap back on.

"To be honest,,," you pause, "I do. I really really do. I just,, I wish he wasn't such a fuckboy. Because underneath that layer is a really kind individual.

"I would date him if he didn't play this,, character. I just-"

But you didn't get the chance to finish as the bell rang outside.

You threw your head back, "fuck my life!"

Tom giggled as he watched you stand up and hurry back out to the desk.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

As the last hour wound down, there wasn't much to do, but you still managed to keep yourself busy.

Once your shift finished, you went back into the break room, saying goodbye to the few coworkers that were in there on your way out.

Nobody knew about this whole 'situation' with Jadon except for a few people, each of whom you trusted with every fibre of your being. You trusted them to keep this within the group, knowing that if it got out your name along with 'Jadon Sancho's girlfriend' would be everywhere.

As you walked out to your car, you got a text from Tom.

'Did you see his new post on ig?'

You instinctively rolled your eyes. What new flex would it be this time?

'I'll look at it when I get home' you replied as you dug your keys out of your pocket and unlocked your door.

On the whole ride home, you couldn't help but think about him. Even if you tried to think of something else, your mind would somehow twist whatever you were thinking about to always go back to him.

Pulling into the driveway, you had finally managed to stop thinking about him, since you were now thinking about what to eat for breakfast, seeing as it was only 7:18am.

You turned the car off and opened the door, practically hauling yourself out of the driver's seat.

Today was the most difficult 8-hour shift you've done to date, which meant you were beyond worn out.

Your sore feet somehow carried you into the house where, no surprise, your best friend was nowhere to be found.

You both typically worked opposite shifts, so you rarely saw each other, but sometimes you could catch each other just as one was returning home and the other was leaving.

Though it defeated the whole purpose of owning a house together, it was kinda nice to have the space all to yourself after a tough shift.

As you sat down, rather forcefully, on the couch, you flipped your shoes off and grabbed the tv remote sitting on the coffee table. You fully stretched out as you turned the tv on.

This was the routine you had grown accustomed to: you got home, let yourself relax for a bit, then got to work doing something else for a while, then went to bed.

As you pressed the button to turn on Netflix for perfect background noise, your phone went off.

You ignored it, deciding to wait till you had the show set up to check it.

DING! DING! DING!

Notification after notification piled up until you couldn't take it anymore.

You angrily dug your phone out of your pocket and looked at it, the screen lit up with even more texts from your coworker group chat.

You roll your eyes and groan, shifting your attention back to getting The Great British Baking Show on.

Once it started playing, you finally read through the texts.

'Y/N!'

'HAS ANYTHING HAPPENED WITH JADON'

'PLS TELL US'

'omg look at his latest post'

'DAMNNN'

'yall did y/n look @ the post'

'idk but 👀👀'

'he looks like a fboy to me tbh lmaooo sorry Y/N'

You couldn't help but laugh at the last one.

Switching to instagram, you check to see what all the fuss is about.

The post in question? No surprise, a few photos of him shirtless on his friend's expensive yacht.

You roll your eyes, "my god Jadon."

Despite posting classic fuckboy photos on instagram, you couldn't help but get a few butterflies in your stomach.

You double tap on the photo, then go back to the groupchat, only for a new text to pop up.

Jadon ⚽🔥 hey 😛

Another eye roll.

'hey Jadon'

'I saw you liked my recent 👀👀'

Uh oh. This won't end well.

'yeah'

'do you like what you see? 😜'

There it is.

'eh, ig. cr7 has better abs, though.'

'sure, for now.'

'right. I'll hold you to that.'

'wish you would hold something else, if you know what I mean 😉'

Jesus Christ.

'haha. what were you even drinking in that photo?'

'something exotic 🍹'

'yeah, it looks it.'

'haha yeah. anyways, wyd?'

There it is. The holy grail of fuckboys. The three letters everyone dreads. Oh no. Oh god.

'relaxing, I just got home from work.'

'really? it's almost 8 in the morning.'

'mhm. I worked 11p-7a. I'm tired.'

'are you still working @ the hotel we met at?'

'mhm'

'niceee. I'll be in town tm if you wanna meet up'

'yeah? who's the new lucky girl you'll bring this time?'

'no one. it'll only be us.'

'right. that's what you said last time.'

'this time will be different. I promise. you off tm?'

'yeah'

'ok. meet me at our café.'

'I have things to do too, you know, it's not all ab you Jadon.'

'damn, ok. well, if you decide to come, I'll be there at 12:30.'

'ok.'

'see you then, boo 😘'

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

12:15, you showed up early, as per usual. You were sitting at the table you and Jadon would sit at every time you came, aka the closest to the window.

12:30. You were watching out the window, not taking your eyes away. He was nowhere to be seen.

12:45. He still wasn't there. Why were you even surprised?

1:00. Still no sign of him. You were almost finished with your coffee, and you were getting restless.

1:15. Everyone who had been there when you arrived were long gone, all the tables filled with new customers. You probably looked pathetic.

1:30. An hour after he said he would meet you, and you were fed up. Why did you even bother?

1:35. Nothing. No new messages or anything. You were done.

You walked out, trying your best to conceal your anger. You should be used to this. You should've known. Over an hour of your life wasted.

Just as you get back to your car your phone goes off. With a quick glance, you can tell it's Jadon.

'hey! sorry, something came up. can you do next week? I wanna make it up to you.'

You couldn't believe your eyes. You wasted over an hour,,, for that.

'no, I can't. I'm actually busy next week, and the week after that, & every week for the rest of my life.'

'haha, thats funny. what day can you do next week?'

'I just told you, I'm busy. I just wasted an hour of my life that I could've used doing literally ANYTHING else just for you to say that something came up,, & it was YOUR fucking idea!

'I like to think I'm a patient person, but that just sealed the deal. my god Jadon, I knew you were a fuckboy, I mean, we both joked ab it, but I didn't think it was this bad.

'stop dragging me out like this. just say you're using me for sex and go. I'm sick of getting my hopes up just for you to let me down again. I'm over it, and I'm over you. please fuck off Jadon'

It was marked as read the second it was sent. The three dots would pop up, then disappear, then pop up again. It went on for 2 minutes.

The final result?

'I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you.'

You left him on read.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The next day you were back at work for a 3pm - 11pm shift. You had told everyone what happened, and they were angry and upset for you. A few were tempted to text him, but you told them that it would only escalate the already tense situation.

Around 10pm, you were winding down. There was only an hour left in your shift, and you had had a relatively slow day for once. And it seemed like it was going to be a normal shift.

You were sitting in the break room with some of your coworkers, watching a rerun of a golf game which you were, for some reason, invested in.

The bell rang outside, and although you were a bit upset to have to abandon the game, you weren't that upset, considering this was the slowest day you've had in a while.

As you walked out to greet the patron, your heart stopped and your stomach dropped.

It was Jadon, standing there with a white box and a teddy bear.

You glared at him, and a part of you filled with hatred, but the other part gushed at his gesture. He really was going to be the death of you.

"Hey, y/n. I'm really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to keep you waiting for over an hour. The reason why I didn't come was because I wanted to get you this."

He paused, gently setting the small box down on the desk, "I tried to get in quickly and pick this up, but the line was so long, I wanted to come and give it to you, but I figured I had kept you waiting long enough, so I called it off."

You're not convinced, but you wanna be. Every part of you wanted to forgive him,, but your stubbornness wouldn't let you.

He sees your shifty glance and sets the bear on the counter as well.

"I'm so so so sorry. I know I fucked up, and you have every right to be angry at me. But even if you never wanna see me again, can you please open it? Just for my sake?"

"If it'll make you leave faster." You respond, intending to sound bitter, but instead sounding shaky.

"I will. I know I can't keep promises, but this one I will. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, I will respect that."

You bite your lip and nod, looking down at the box and undoing the red ribbon. It looked very professional and well done.

As you lift the top off, your eyes widen and fill with tears. You can't help but slap a hand over your mouth.

Inside were all of the polaroids you've taken, ranging from the first time you hung out together, to a few months ago. There were ones of him playing football, and of you in various places doing a gesture that soon became an inside joke. You used to travel together all the time, you miss those days all the time.

The light blue camera used to take all of these photos was inside as well.

Jadon watched as you looked through the photos, a shy smile forming on his face.

"The camera still works, if you want to try it out." He said, voice barely above a whisper.

"Jadon, I-" you hesitated, and for the first time in your life, you were truly speechless.

"There's a, uh, there's a note on the bear." He muttered, looking down and scratching his neck.

You looked at him, and couldn't help but smile a bit. Only Jadon would do this.

Your attention turns to the bear, and sure enough, there was a note attached to its paw. Gently removing the handwritten note stuck to the paw, you read it carefully, clinging on to every word.

'Y/N,

I'm sorry if I hurt you yesterday. And I'm sorry if you feel that all we are is friends with benefits. I've always wanted more with you, but was too afraid to act.

I put up this fboy facade hoping I would attract someone who would be into,, that. But the one thing I didn't take into account was if I fell for someone.

Because my whole life changed when I met you.

I kept this act up, thinking you would be into it and fall for me, but that's not what happened. In fact, when the exact opposite happened, I was shocked.

Nobody liked the real me. That's why I started doing this, because that's what brought people in. And it worked, because it seemed as though everyone else fell for it, everyone except the one person I wanted.

And if I'm being honest, let's talk about the elephant in the room: we both know that I've loved you from the moment we met in this exact building 3 years ago.

You're all I've ever wanted. You're all I will ever want. I'm in love with you.

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be with you, but it's up to you on whether or not you'll accept.'

A grin appeared on your face as tears streamed down your cheeks.

You looked up at him, a soft yet nervous expression on his face.

You came out from around the counter and threw your arms around him, burying your face in his neck.

"I'll take that as a yes, then?" He joked, making you laugh.

You look up at him. "On one condition."

"And what's that?"

"Stop being such a douche."

"Done. I don't need the facade when I have what I want."

------------------------

thanks for reading! this was my first footballer fic & im actually really proud of it! requests are open, and feel free to use one of the prompts I posted before!

this was for you anon, hope you liked it ;)

#jadon sancho #jadon sancho fanfiction #jadon sancho fanfic #jadon sancho fic #football #soccer #football fic #football fanfic #soccer fanfic #borussia dortmund #dortmund #fanfiction #fanfic #mine

[pulledpurplecurtains]

​TAG GAME

Tagged by @aubreys-posen and i don’t know if you know how much i adore anything that resembles a quiz but i do so let’s see!!

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? dark blue and black

2. Name a food you never eat. flatfish, any kind of oyster, snails

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? um i’d say neither, but it’s easier to feel too warm than too cold (which is why i prefer lower temperatures in my environment so i can adjust my temperature easier by getting/removing a blanket)

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? binge watching supernatural

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? oh boy this is so hard... i have to say 3bit which is a greek candy bar - a layer of biscuit and a layer of creme covered in milk chocolate and it’s just delicious 

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? unfortunately not

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? i was sending a voice note, mum!’ as an exasperated reply to my mum’s inquiry of why i was in my room talking english in the middle of the night kjsdfhjksdskjd

8. What is your favorite ice cream? if we’re going by flavor then straciatella or cookies, if we’re going by brand then definitely ben & jerry’s

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? just my ol’ pal water

10. Do you like your wallet? yes!! it has a world map drawn on it in a way that makes it feel dreamy and artistic

11. What is the last thing you ate? pizza omg bless

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? not weekend per se, but last friday yes i did

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? men’s soccer, our national team was playing!

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? regular but with enough salt

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? a very good friend 

16. Ever been camping? yes i have, three times i think? do not like it 

17. Do you take vitamins? no

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? no, only on easter

19. Do you have a tan? yes i do! it still remains from the summer and it’s very much present

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? pizza

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? i haven’t drank soda in about a year except when i add just a little bit to my drink, but when i did it was very rarely and i never used a straw

22. What color socks do you usually wear? black or dark blue i think? maybe with some abstract patterns on them

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? for the sake of humanity i don’t drive skjdhkjsdfks

24. What terrifies you? most bugs, fires, the thought that something may happen that won’t allow me to have kids, losing my mum

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my water bottle

26. What chore do you hate most? vaccuming omg 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? 'i’m SO glad you’re not Scottish or Irish and i can still understand you omg bless!’ jsdhfjsdjjds

28. What’s your favorite soda? don’t really have one

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? usually i just get delivery

30. What’s your favorite number? 4

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? like face to face? my mum. if this means in general, a very good friend

32. Favorite meat? the existence of schnitzel on this earth is what keeps me going some days no joke

33. Last song you listened to? boy, it’s been so long since i’ve listened to music i couldn’t possibly remember

34. Last book you read? oof it’s been a couple months at least and haven’t finished it yet, but it’s the three aces by lena manta (she’s a greek author)

35. Favorite day of the week? friday

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i can in english but not in greek i realized just now and it’s so freaking weird omg i’m gonna forget my native language ksjfdkjfdjs

37. How do you like your coffee? black (no cream, no sugar) and strong but not too much

38. Favorite pair of shoes? i don’t really think i have one 

39. Time you normally get up? it depends on the day but generally aroud 10

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? i love a good sunset but sigh. sunrise

41. How many blankets on your bed? just the one, thicker or thinner depending on the season

42. Describe your kitchen plates: omg there’s too many because i’m living at hime and my mum has at least 7 sets

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment: how does one describe a kitchen? um, tidy, dark, and quiet? i guess? skjdfkjdsfk

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? whiskey is my go too, but i also love sweet wines and tsipouro

45. Do you play cards? i know a few games and i love it! but haven’t played in quite a while

46. What color is your car? don’t have one

47. Can you change a tire? definitely not

48. Your favorite state or province? don't have one

49. Favorite job you’ve had? my current one, i love teaching

Tagging (although no pressure to do this obviously!) @pantslessgirlwonder @bottombeca @becasbelt @snowydot @scylla-ramshorn and anyone else who wants to do this!

#this was so fun! #i love these types of things #thanks my all caps key smashing queen <3 #tag game

[onceuponahappytime]

Happy holiday season, and best wishes for 2019! (NB: I don’t know how far you’ve gotten with SG1, so there should be zero spoilers ahead!)

1. She succeeds in getting all the way from the SGC entrance to her lab before someone discovers her. She’s just collapsed on a chair and rolled towards a nearly-forgotten experiment when the door flies open, flooding the room with too much light. ‘Good evening, Carter,’ O’Neill says casually, leaning against the doorframe. Daniel peers around his shoulder, and waves. ‘Hi Sam!’ he calls, smiling, and then, realizing he shouldn’t be so happy to see her, schools his face into a serious expression.

2. She manages not to look too guilty as she waves back, as nonchalantly as she possibly can with her arm in a cast. ‘Hello Sir,’ she says breezily. ‘Hey Daniel.’ O’Neill does not appear convinced by her act, and she watches his eyebrow twitch as he gives her a brief once-over. ‘Say, Carter,’ he says, and his tone is so light that she is instantly on alert. ‘It’s a surprise to see you here, considering the Doc told you to stay home for the next three weeks. Ordered you, in fact.’

3. ‘Colonel O’Neill is correct,’ a deep voice floats in from the hall, and then Daniel is shuffling further into her lab to make room for Teal’c. ‘Come on,’ she whines, attempting to look sad yet strong at the same time. ‘I know I can’t go off-world, but surely spending a few hours in my lab per day is fine. Good for me, even – it will keep my brain healthy. Sir.’ It’s a long shot, she knows, and fifteen minutes later, she finds herself back outside, limping angrily through the snow to her car.

4. The guys had sent her home with a promise of visiting her for New Year’s, where they would drink beers and watch films until midnight arrived. Three days of ever-increasing boredom later, December 31st finally arrives and Sam cannot wait for a bit of company. However, towards 7pm in the evening, the team have still not appeared, and she’s begun to dismantle-and-rebuild the toaster to keep from going crazy. Suddenly, the phone rings and she lunges towards it.

5. ‘It’s Sergeant Harriman, Sir,’ squeaks the voice at the end of the line, in response to her breathless demand. ‘Dr Jackson requested that I pass on their apologies, but SG1 have been sent on an emergency rescue mission, and won’t be arriving this evening.’ Sam frowns, worry settling over her. ‘Everything alright over there? Anything I can do?’ There’s a slight pause. ‘I’m afraid I’ve also been told by Colonel O’Neill to remind you to remain home, sir,’ Harriman sounds nervous.

6. Sam merely sighs, slumping down on her couch. ‘Thank you for the message, Sergeant,’ she says softly. ‘Have a lovely New Year.’ When Harriman has said his farewell, the house seems even quieter than before the call. Not only will she be alone for this New Year’s Eve, but now she has the extra stress of worrying about her friends, off on some no-doubt dangerous mission. Two minutes pass, then she is thrusting her feet in her winter boots, and limping as fast as she can away from the house.

7. The bar down the road is the only place she knows will be open on a night like this. The snow is falling heavily now, so she hurries inside. The usual lonely souls are scattered around the room, but tonight is for celebration, and there are already groups of drunken revellers laughing loudly. She slips onto a stool at the bar, nodding towards Tom, and he slides her a bottle of her favourite beer. She’s not a heavy drinker, but tonight she plans on staying here until midnight.

8. A gust of wind signals the arrival of a new customer, but Sam pays no attention until a presence suddenly makes itself known on the stool next to her. ‘Bloody hell,’ a British and rather posh voice announces. ‘This weather is unpleasant.’ Sam shifts slightly, and tilts her head towards her new companion. The woman has long, dark hair and a cheery smile, despite her opening complaints. ‘I do apologize,’ the woman announces, pulling off a glove and sticking her hand out.

9. ‘My name is Helen. Do you mind if I sit here? The establishment is busy, and I’d prefer not to fight the drunkards tonight.’ Sam clasps her hand, giving it a firm shake, and then waggles her fingers towards the seat. ‘Sam Carter. And by all means join me,’ she says, unable to stop herself from smiling back when Helen’s face lights up. ‘I will warn you though,’ she continues. ‘I’ve been abandoned by my friends for the night, so I may not be the best company for your New Year’s celebration.’

10. Helen shrugs, indicating with one hand towards Tom, and tilting her head towards Sam at the same time. ‘I’ve had an unpleasant evening myself,’ she declares. ‘So I understand your mind-set. Perhaps together we can improve both of our moods, however?’ Tom shuffles over, and Helen is momentarily distracted. Sam takes the opportunity to asses her, eyes narrowing as she stares at the other woman’s face. ‘I don’t suppose you have any tea?’ Helen is in the process of asking.

11. ‘It was worth a shot,’ she mutters a minute later, clutching instead at a gin and tonic. ‘Do I have something on my face?’ Sam opens her mouth, closes it, and then decides to respond anyway, no matter how weird her current thoughts are. ‘I was just thinking that we look oddly alike,’ she admits, staring openly now at Helen. Her companion gazes back, silent for a moment. ‘I believe we do share many similarities,’ she replies, and raises a hand halfway towards Sam’s face before dropping it.

12. ‘However, I know my family tree very well, and there’s no Sam or Samantha Carter on there. I guess it’s more a peculiarity of the universe than any shared genetics. Besides, I doubt blonde hair would suit me.’ Helen smiles, as if enjoying some private joke, and Sam relaxes. For some strange reason, she is oddly relieved that this woman is not some strange long-lost relative, no matter her uncanny similarity – at least in this lighting. ‘So Helen, what made this night unpleasant?’ she asks.

13. ‘A failed job,’ Helen’s nose wrinkles in disgust. ‘I was unable to achieve my objective of the evening. And now it’s currently snowing too hard for me to return back home for New Year’s. And you, Sam? Why did your friends abandon you?’ Sam registers the vague response, but then is thrown by the need to think up some cover story. ‘They had to go on a mission. For a client,’ she says lamely, taking a sip of beer to recover. ‘Important equipment malfunctioned.’

14. ‘Oh, and what sort of job do you do?’ Helen leans forward, as if genuinely eager to hear, and her dark hair cascades over one shoulder. ‘Umm,’ Sam hesitates for a moment. ‘I work with deep space telemetry radar.’ She’s expecting to see Helen’s eyes glaze over at this, but instead Helen seems fascinated, throwing out some surprisingly well-informed questions. Soon they are in the midst of an intense scientific ‘nerd-out’, as some of her colleagues would say, and time passes quickly.

15. Suddenly, the music begins playing even louder, and someone shouts out that it’s almost countdown. Helen briefly touches Sam’s wrist, nodding towards the main crowd of people. ‘Shall we join?’ she asks, and Sam feels herself nodding along. They shift onto the bar’s small dancefloor, swaying slightly to the music as they wait for midnight. ‘TEN! NINE! EIGHT!’ The crowd starts to chant. Sam can’t help but laugh at her current situation – this morning, she wouldn’t have imagined herself here.

16. Helen smiles back in response to her laughter, and their shoulders bump together. ‘THREE! TWO! OOOONE!’ There is loud noise and cheering, and then there are soft lips pressing against Sam’s cheek. ‘Happy New Year, Sam,’ Helen says. Sam barely knows her new friend, but she can’t help but feel her year has started off well. ‘Happy New Year,’ she replies. ‘Now, let’s bully Tom into making you some tea.’

OMG thank you soooooooooooooooooooo much Nonnie!! I can`t tell you how much I love this!!!! (Yes I read it 3 times by now) Helen and Sam in one fic...is just WOW

i hope your 2019 will be super amazing and wonderful holidays season to you too!

[montyjacks]

Heck yes G/t BMC!!! Not a writing request per se, but a cute thought. “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE” but Michael is tiny and hoisting a can or bottle of Mtn Dew Red over his head.

Omg but that’s so perfect?! Like… imagine Michael being only 12-14 inches tall (which, I imagine, is the smallest he’d be where he could still have the strength to lift the soda) and running in with it over his head and the Squip just looking down at him like, “……really?” before SUDDENLY REALIZING THAT IS RED MOUNTAIN DEW *cue the Kill Bill alarm*

Sad thought: tiny Michael during Michael In the Bathroom. :(

TO COUNTERACT THAT SAD THOUGHT: Giant Michael literally busting in–straight through the wall–and booming “MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE!”

#asks #pockette-sized #G/t community #Be More Chill #text posts #Monty speaks

[equalstrashflavoredtrash]

movies i like

so @beautifulramblingbrains tagged me in this thing saying ‘what are your 6 favorite films?’ and i love movies so i got carried away and made this list of a lot more than six films...

Cus I cant do shit halfway when it comes to moves, i took some time thinking abt this and ending up choosing my fave 6 genres/tropes and the choosing the best movie that it applies to, with honorable mentions. ***this list is NOT an exclusive list of my favorite films, i eventually cut myself off because i kept adding titles... there are hundreds more i’d mention if i had time, but this is what i wrote down***  (I have lots of very personal opinions about all the films i listed, both favorites and honorable mentions, if you want to know more about any of them please ask)

(all of the film titles link to a trailer of the film, if available. A few of these films can be watched in full for free, those links have been include as an ‘x’ after the title)

THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, IT’S MORE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

1. BOTTLE STORIES. Fuck, if i dont love sticking a bunch of characters in a room together, or a short window of time, and seeing what happens. Honorable mentions: Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Key Largo, Green Room, 12 Angry Men, Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb and The Man From Earth. Favorite choice: MURDER PARTY!! What happens when a guy responds to a Halloween invitation to a murder party? Well, mostly it’s a bunch of pretentious artist doing drugs and debating how to kill him. I dont know what I love more about the film, the subtle dialog and perfect build up of plot, or the fact that i actually know people like the stuck up artist in it. I just think this was deffo written by someone who went to art school

2. WHERE DOES REALITY STOP AND THE DREAM BEGINS? Come on, i mean, seriously how can you really know when it’s not a dream? Honorable mentions: Perfect Blue, Jakob’s Ladder1, Brazil1, Dark City, Waking Life, Science of Sleep, Alice, and La Jetee. Favorite choice: PAPRIKA!! Shatoshi Kon made so, SO many amazing films in his life and this is one of the best, imo. If you like Inception, know that it was directly influenced by Paprika. And Inception is like a boiled down version; it makes more sense and is less fantastic. Real facts though, i have watched Paprika over a dozen times, and still when i go back to watch it now i notice details i missed before that are subtle but pertain to the over-all ideas and story. Also the soundtrack is fuckin sick.

3. BLACK AND WHITE THRILLERS! Like yeah, self explanatory, and I could go on about The Third Man or M, but what i really love is stories that make you grip the edge of your seat when you weren’t expecting to. Honorable Mentions: Arsenic and Old Lace, The Virgin Spring x, All About Eve1, Cabinet of Dr. Caligari x, Metropolis x, The Bad Seed and Sunset Boulevard (i want to say Chinatown2 tho i know that was shot in color but to look like noir b&w). Favorite choice: EYES WITHOUT A FACE!! x I have a soft spot for french horror, but what makes this film stand out is the way they danced around taboo subjects like gore, animal abuse, and mad scientists to avoid censors and get a wide release in Europe, while still having those be major subjects in the film.

4. CRAZY SLOW PACED AND BASED IN CONVERSATION! Ok i worried for a moment that this was too similar to the first, but no it’s different. Like man, if the dialogs good, then i'm fucking dooownn, and these are more about the conversation than anything else. Also this is my list so i can do what i want. Honorable Mentions: Royal Tenenbaums, Stagecoach1x, Yojimbo, Fire, Coco and Igor, and Days of Heaven. Favorite choice: STALKER!! x Like hell yeah, i'm so here for a soviet film abt people debating what they’d wish for while hiking to the wishing well. Also i think this film used the b&w to color transition better than Wizard of Oz because you barely even notice the change, like they hypnotize you first then make the switch.

5. ANIMATION! I fuckin love animation. I’ve always prefered cartoons. If you didn't know this, then idk if you know me. Honorable Mentions: Secret of Kells, Triplets of Belleville, Spirited Away, Mind Game, World of Tomorrow, Belladonna of Sadness, Millennium Actress, My Life as a Zuccini, The Hedgehog in the Fog x, The Cat in Paris. Favorite choice: THE THIEF AND THE COBBLER!! (the recobbled cut, specifically) After the production hell this flick went through, it needs all the love it can get. Started in the late 70s, it wasn't released until 1993, and was quickly overshadowed by Aladdin (which is probably directly influenced by the Thief and the Cobbler, but Disney’s not gunna say that). After 30s years of bouncing between animation studios only to get this slap-dash finishing to push it out on VHS, which the final final scenes not only feels disjointed from the story, but the scenes have an fps (frames per second) rate that’s half of the original animation so you can literally see the images slow down in some scenes. The recobbled cut is the best because even though it has a few unfinished scenes (some of which are still just animatics) it is the closest we may ever get to the original, intended version of the film. It’s still trippy as fuck though, and it doesn't have the god awful internal monologue for the thief.

6. MOVIES I FIRST SAW WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND IMPRESSIONABLE AND ABSOLUTELY ADORE! So these are movies which i saw when i was young BUT would be happy to watch again and have lots of opinions about (so this rules out Requiem for a Dream and Risky Business, both i saw too young and i'm cool with only having ever seen them once) Honorable Mentions: Spirited Away, Muppet Treasure Island, Young Frankenstein, Nightmare Before Christmas, Monsoon Wedding,The Dreamers, Airplane! and Fight Club. Favorite choice: DUCK SOUP!! Omg, i dont know if i can adequately express how much i fucking love the Marx bros. I own most of their films and when I was little, i used to just watch them endlessly (and I will still do so while drunk if no one stops me) I know all the jokes and songs even tho i learned half of them before I was old enough to get the jokes.

7. *Bonus round* TRIPPY AF MOVIES!! Like flicks i walked out of thinking ‘the fuck did i just watch??’ Honorable mentions: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Enter the Void, Videodrome, Holy Mountain, Meshes of the Afternoon x. Favorite choice: DOG STAR MAN!! x Sometimes, you need to just lay back and watch undulating colors in silence for a few hours.

Like, i just want to say, that while editing this list i thought of like ten films I couldn't shoehorn into any of these categories, and was very upset i couldn't find a way to mention them, so if you like this and want me to make another movie list, PLEASE SAY SO!!

1 I have included the link to the trailer, but the trailer is shit. The movie is much better.

2 while this film is only brought up saying that it doesn't fit on the list, i do really love the film, but i feel like i should mention that both the director, Roman Polanski and main actor, Jack Nicholson have been directly accused of sexual assault/statutory rape/domestic assault. I, personally, have a cognitive dissonance with this film because I saw it before I learned about both of them and their actions. But as much as I enjoy the story and movie, i cannot in good faith, bring up the film without mentioning this.

#pucks picks #films i like #i really fucking love films #i took a lot of time writing this #maybe too much time #no i do not have a life #im gunna go watch a movie now #if you ever want a film recommendation hmu

[allbrainsnosense]

Like all numbers for the otp post for shakeslowe

1. Who is the early bird/Who is the night owl?Will is the early bird, Kit is the night owl (obviously)2. Who is the big spoon/Who is the little spoon?Will is the big spoon, Kit is the little spoon3. Who hogs the covers/Who loves to cuddle?KIT HOGS THE COVERS and Will is obviously the cuddler ☺️4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?Probably Will, since he’s the early bird.5. Who usually has nightmares?They both do… 6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/who would have them in the middle of the day?Kit is the one who gets all existential at night, Will during the day.7. Who sweats the small stuff?Outwardly: Will. Inwardly: Kit.8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/Who sleeps in their pajamas?Kit sleeps absolutely 100% naked. Will wears pajamas during the winter, but his just underwear any other time.9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?WILL. Will loves coffee and tea. 10. Who likes sweet/who likes sour?Both like sweet, but Kit prefers sour. (Of course.)11. Who likes horror movies/who likes romance movies?Kit LOVES horror flicks, but Will loves romance movies. 12. Who is smol/who is tol?Okay so they’re about the same height but… Will is smol and Kit is tol.13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?Probably Will, but sometimes Kit can be easily scared too.14. Who kills the spiders?Kit. Will prefers to let them back out into nature.15. Who is scared of the dark?Surprisingly, Kit. 16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?Honestly I can’t picture either of them being scared of storms…17. Who works/Who stays at home?They both work! 18. Who is a cat person/Who is a dog person?Kit is the cat person, Will is the dog person.19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?Will actually uses cute names, but Kit has way more nicknames for Will.20. Who is dominant/who is submissive?WILL IS THE DOMINANT ONE omg and Kit is submissive21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?Kit is generally the more obsessive one out of the two of them.22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?Surprisingly, Kit!23. Who asks who out on the first date?Kit asks Will out first.24. Who is the talker/who is the listener?Kit’s the talker, Will’s the listener.25. Who wears the other one’s clothes?KIT. That’s such a Kit thing I think.

26. Who likes to eat healthy/who loves junk food?Will likes to eat healthy, Kit… someone has a chips problem (Chips in the British sense)27. Who takes a long shower/who sings in the shower?These both are so Kit. Like omg.28. Who is the book worm?They both are!29. Who is the better cook?Hmm… Probably Kit? I feel like he’d have a few tricks up his sleeve like that.30. Who likes long walks on the beach?WILL31. Who is more affectionate?Publicly, Will. Privately, Kit.32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?Probably both of them, but Kit more.33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/who would wear “sin” t-shirt?Will has the “not guilty” shirt, Kit obviously would wear the “sin” shirt lol!34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?Kit would have the “if lost” shirt, while Will would have the “I am” shirt. 35. Who goes overboard on holidays?WILL WILL WILL WILL ALWAYS WILL36. Who is the social media addict?I feel like it would be Kit? I think he would have a really popular tumblr lol.37. Height difference or age difference?Barely any! Kit is only like two months older and maybe an inch taller!38. Who likes to stargaze?Probably Will.39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?KIT OMG40. Who is the fun parent/who is the responsible parent?Between these two… Kit would probably be the fun parent and Will would have to become the responsible parent. 41. Who cries during sad movies?Surprisingly, Kit!42. Who is the neat freak?Will. Without a doubt.43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?I think they take turns? Will’s great at bottle toss but Kit is good at the balloon darts?44. Who is active/who is lazy?Will is the more active one, but Kit isn't… lazy, per se. He just likes the sofa.45. Who is more likely to get drunk?Kit.46. Who has the longer food order?It depends! Usually Will though.47. Who has the more complex coffee order?KIT TOTALLY KIT48. Who loses stuff?Kit. Definitely.49. Who is the driver/who is the passenger?Will is the driver, Kit is the passenger.50. Who is the hopeless romantic?WILL ALL THE WAY

#shakeslowe #otp meme #will tnt #modern au

[kote-the-inn-keeper]

All under the cut again!! When I’m done with a full read through, I’ll take and organize things into sections. Like... good quotes, visuals of her, visuals of place / set up [those there is a map someone made on my other TSRoST post!! Check that out], etc. 

Whatever foxes is made out of responds kind of like fire

    Auri blew on him while heading to Borough to brighten him

Auri likes balance -- Going twice left and twice right through Rubric (page 25)

Greely after route through Rubric

     Smells like sulfur there. Why????

     walls crumbling there

leads to Crumledon

     narrow dirt tunnel, steep

     ladder down leads to another room of stone

        oak door down there. room size of closet 

Door leads to Wains

     wide enough for a wagon o go through, high ceilings

         crystal chandelier in there. why???????? HOW?????? (pg 26)

         Odd paintings and marble floors

         Both ends of Wain is blocked by rubble

12 oak doors lining hall

     3 she had opened

“Long years in the underthings” (pg 26) So more than 5 years at least living under the world...

9th door belonged to the key

     sitting room

“nothing like Sit Twice or Faceling” -- other places in underthings???

Tons of bottle in there, a silver gear, a ring, and coins

found a retiring stone under the couch

     calls it a doll

found bone button

     left it there under the carpet tho

Another door in the room

     leads to stairs

     leads to a door on a landing

     a second flight of stairs; many loose and crumbling

     Gap in wall to climb through

        Called this place Tumbrel

            half fallen in, ceiling collapsed, no damp tho

            four post bed in there, mirror, wardrobe, and vanity

                 Clothes in the wardrobe! SO many!!!!

                  Makeup on the vanity still, along with jewelry, brushes, and bottles

Another door 

     closet, small, looks to be a bathroom

Omg Auri just starts sweeping everything to have it clean this cutie

Tied foxen to a lock of her hair aww

     so foxen is a solid of some sort... hm....

Found a loose stone in the floor while moving furniture

    small leather sack and bit of wool padding

    aND SHE JUST MOVED IT BACK. AURI. OMG

Found clean sheets in bottom of wardrobe while re-arranging dresses

    Wont take sheets even though no one is using them :((((

Delving has a warm earthy smell to it

    Went through Mantel to Rubric to Woods (time worn beams from roof in there)

Unheard of to bring things into Mantel apperantly

Second fav dress has deeper pockets

Went to put the buckle in its place, but it didnt belong. She was going to get the sheets, but the buckle didn’t belong so she didn’t. So what I’m thinking is that she plays on an equivalent exchange type of rules: one thing for another. 

Applecourt = apples. apple tree perhaps? where she first meet kvothe???

Going to tree instead

     More tools than food in tree

     Sack of salt, four fat figs, withered apple, handful of peas, some butter

Gear not happy in Mantel, or Umbrel, or Cricklet, or Darkhouse

    Took it to Grey Twelve again 

Auri knows her metals (hearing a bird crack something against an iron pipe)

She always kisses things in apology and that’s super adorable

Ran back to Borough cause of a bird???

     Doorway

     Inside are tables, shelves, bottles, boxes, and containers.

     Another door on the other end

        Light coming through??????

UM AURI WHAT HAPPEND????????

    super pissed about the light and the boot prints

    “Auri glared at the spot here they crossed the threshold....They moved to tables, shelf, and out the other door. They made a circle of sorts... Were not new bootprints. Still, they told a story Auri did not love. They told a story she did not want to see repeated” (pg 47).

      WHO ARE ‘THEY’?????????

      WHY COMING BACK?????

moved into Tenance (place above’s name)

careful to only step in boot prints

     grabbed a brush and ran

Found a broken pipe

ran off to go fix it!

“Just as Master Mandrag said so many years ago.” (pg 50)

     uM WELL THAT’S CONFIRMED SHE WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY AT SOME POINT. LITERALLY CANON. SHIT DUDE OH MAN.

(Basically what I’m getting from these last few pages so far was that Auri was a student, cracked, and was in a scuffle to get away from being put in that one place. Which also explains her paranoia of hearing boots all the sudden as well on page 50. saying “not now” “not yet”. Which also makes me think they looked for her for quite some times before giving up possibly.)

Doesnt know where borkn pipe leads too per-say

     Guesses the Masters Hall

      sHE WAS A FUCKING STUDENT THIS CHAPTER IS JUST CONFIRMING THE SHIT OUT OF THAT YOU GUYS

Hates people being in the underthings

     they don’t care about things as much as she does in the space

Nice. Name of the book on pg 51 B) “Better still, the slow regard of silent things had wafted off the moisture int he air.”

#ooc #mun humming #kkc #kingkiller #auri #Auri's book #TSRoST #TSRoST part 2 #lets see how far i get here #damn #daaaaaaaaamn

[trendyelle]

28 Occasions That Happen After Age 25 When You Recognise You’re Getting Older, But Are truly Still Young

God& Man 1. You can only go out one night per weekend. It’s either Friday night or Saturday night, never both. 2 . If you do used to go more than one night per weekend this is necessary mostly the entire week to recover. 3 . You refer to anyone ages 20 -2 3 as babies even though you’re only like 2 or 3 years older than them. 4 . You start to cleanse your look before couch instead of sleeping with all of your makeup on. 5 . You start to use anti-aging knockout commodities and you ALWAYS moisturize. 6 . You start to pick up pastimes instead of just like drinking on weekends. 7 . You feel like you have to start eating healthier because of that dreaded happening you hear about called metabolism. 8 . You begin to make decisions that is really favor your health. Like not used to go and drinking til 4 am when you just got over the flu. 9 . You begin to buy thoughts that will help your “well-being” like 14 different all-important lubricants and a diffuser to oblige your entire suite smelling like a lavender province. “It’s soothing,” you tell your momma when she sees your acquires in her Amazon cart. 10 . Your facebook newsfeed slowly changes from daughters in short garbs to daughters in wedding dresses. 11 . Everyone’s getting engaged. 12 . All the magnets on your fridge are currently being used for Save The Date cards. 13 . You is not able to use” I precisely graduated” as a pretext for being unemployed. 14 . You have to think about how many years ago you graduated, because it’s greater than 3. 15 . You don’t know the current slang children are expending nowadays, and if you do know it, you don’t feel cool enough to say it. The statement doesn’t roster of your tongue like it does a 21 time old’s. 16 . You feel like you age yourself 10 times when you say events like” the lingo minors are exploiting nowadays .” 17 . You care less about looking good and more about solace. Plains don’t shape your ass looking as good as ends but you DO NOT CARE. 18 . You say thoughts like I can’t ______ the practice I used to. 19 . You look at old-fashioned photographs and say happenings like” this organization is the days .” 20 . You reserve a darknes to yourself each weekend for doing absolutely nothing. 21 . You’ve already seen basically everything on Netflix. 22 . You begin to purchase acts that cleanse your living space, like a vacuum-clean, because you recognise you can’t live the practice your grime ego did in college. 23 . You recognize how expensive circumstances that scavenge your living space are. That vacuum-clean expenditures almost as much as your month’s rent. 24 . You think of everything in terms of how you’ll compensate your payment. And then you slowly put that faux fur coating you really don’t need back on the rack. 25 . You think about being older and say circumstances like” OMG I don’t want to ever be 26″ when certainly it’s only one year older than you currently are. 26 . You’d rather buy an 8 dollar bottle of wine, going to go, and suck it by yourself, than expend 18 dollars on a cocktail at a dimly illuminated restaurant that are essentially no booze in it and tastes like a flower garden. 27 . You enjoy exiting furniture shopping. Every living space needs a good accent chair. 28 . You start saving for retirement. Specially if your work has plans that will literally do it for you. Read more: The post 28 Occasions That Happen After Age 25 When You Recognise You’re Getting Older, But Are truly Still Young appeared first on Anti Aging Tips. http://selfhelpantiagingtips.com/28-things-that-happen-after-age-25-when-you-realize-youre-getting-older-but-are-actually-still-young/

[travelforone-blog]

Randers Bike Week 2017

It really never gets any easier, it actually just hurts more and more. Movie by yours truly, photos by: licenscykling.dk, lalafoto.dk, Melle Waldeck

HINT: First, watch the video above, get into the melacholic mood of green winter roadtripping and amateur road racing, then play the below album and read on ...

Pre-race

Trampen Slaget Vid Lund

Windy AF, with a finish climb, like 100km or so kantvind would DESTROY the peloton, so stay up front 2.5 laps meh, then just 5 places too far back and ... after jumping 3 gaps and getting stuck on the wrong side of the echolon for the whole megakantvind section ... dropped Chilled for a lap or so, chased down a Klubben Cyklisten dude, then Simon&co came riding by, I joined and we did the laps to the end, I dropped my little bunch in the last climb to get the small victory hehehe

Ringen Allians Sturup GP

Ride there for warmup, bla bla bla, start race, Emil goes and we do nothing for 8 laps while he's in a break with Per and some other dude Then I try some stuff, nothing, then Rikard is in break, I try something, nothing, then we sprint Riding home was more fun

Randers

Day 1 - Street race in Aars

Context

30 minutes on a 1.4km lap in town with a MONSTER COBBLED climb Look at it, look at it hard: https://goo.gl/maps/Ywa7WrgGdQw I am sure people get tired walking it for fucking sunday brunch, imagine going all out (yeah, it's a crit so ALL OUT) for about 15 times, into motvind ... mhm Plan: AAAAARRRTHGGGGHHHHH ONE CANNOT BONK IN 30 MINUTES

Race

AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH 3 dudes go, H40, ok, chase AAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHGHGHGH CHHAASEEE Time check - lap about 2.x minutes, ok, 15 laps AAAAAARRRGGGGGHH That goes on for about 4 laps Legs: KHM KHM Ok, ease off a bit Couple of dudes come round, I join They are going hard aaaaaarrrgggghhh For about 2 laps Legs: KHM KHM Ok, ease off even more, more dudes and Glenn come by Hold on for a lap or so get dropped on the climb GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE FFS Ok, I got this, I got this REGAIN COMPOSURE, CHASE MODE ON Start gaining, we have like 7 minutes to go, I can catch a couple of guys Ok, the hill is not hurting that much puncture NOOOOOOOOOOO FUCK DNF

Fun facts

Cars met going the wrong way on the track: 1 I apparenlty do blowup after 3 laps at cca 350W Cobbles hurt, they also make you feel sorry for your bike That is until you hear A riders GO, then you feel sorry for their bikes

Day 2 - berglop

Context

7 laps of the most hilly lap danish races have seen (according to organizers, I believe them), 7 LAPS Plan - survive, zen for first 2 laps, see what we're dealing with, kittens and cake, kittens and cake, then ... whatver, finish

Race

We go, roads are soaking wet, water everywhere BANG PSSSS People are afraid of turning BANG PSSSSSS People are afraid of descending BANG PSSSSS First punchy climb, all good, legs good, reach top, people are already being dropped jump gaps, all good, maaaan, I GOT THIS, I FINALLY FEEL LIKE THIS IS THE DAY BANG PSSSSS Me? noooo, ufa, close one t t t t t t t WHAT t t t t t t t t THE t t t t t t t t t FUCK t t t t t t t t t PUNKA s s s s s s s s s s s s ssssssssssss Foljebil: do you have a wheel in the car? Me: ??????? WHHHAHAAAATTT TTHHHEEE ... no Foljebil: ok, bye Stop by the side of the road What should I throw? Bike? Naaaah, we know how that goes ... bottle? I already lost too many ... should I rip that sign out of the floor and throw it ... wait, no, smash it into the fence ... eh, messy and muddy ... maybe kick the fence, rip off the sign ... eh, I'm bored now, I hope it does not rain ... (5 min later) make hitchiking sign to passing cars (10 min later) Amager dude comes walking Yo, sup, punka? Yeah, same here ... so, is there a car? yeah, should be ... how's it going, ah, it's going ok ... (we catch up on gossip and transfers, differences in racing Seeland vs Jylland etc.) (10 min later) C and H40 comes by, no Glenn ... hmmmm ... Dropped group comes by, dude crashes in the corner, we comment on the action (10 min later) A tow truck with a flat bet shows up, Glenn and Rickad in the car, bikes in the back - YO, JUMP UP Throw the bikes on, jump in the back and OFF WE GO See the race from the reverse perspective until AB guys catch up and the dude starts flooring it on downhill to not get caught Does not look like a good day to die, with the punka and all ... Get to the finish, get funny looks from people You know, cos it's me, Glenn and Marcus in the back, whole fucking club ...

Fun facts

Rotweilers observed along the course, without a leash: 1 Times thought OMG WE'RE GONNA DIE: 2 Personal bests for: 30s, 1min, 2min

Day 3 - linjelop

Context

8 laps on what was supposed to be much flatter than berglop lap, but was still insanely hilly, like, INSANELLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DENMARK???? Plan - at this point, just make it to the finish with the bunch

Race

Stay up front, stay up front NO MATTER WHAT STAY UP FRONT First climb: ugh First kantvind: uugh Second climb: Ugh Second kantvind: Ugh (did I mention, the lap is a combination of climbing and kantvind sections, always following the climb) Look back: fuck, we dropped everyone (it's like 15 of us) Third climb: UUUUUGHHHHHHHH (fuck I am breathing heavy, am I breathing heavy? dude in front of me looks back ... yeah, I am breathing heavy ...) Robert brings a bunch of people back Hej Glenn! Glenn: UGH Lap 2: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT ATTACK IN THE CLIMBS and they attack in the climbs climb 2: dropped Also dropped on climb 2: Glenn and Richard Chasing group picks us up, we chase and we're back together by end of lap 2 Lap 3: PLEASE FOR T ... whatever, fuck you all Second climb: dropped MOTHER FUCKER Ride for a lap solo, get caught by 4 dropped guys, ride 2 more laps, get a puncture

Fun facts

Personal bests for: 5, 6, 12 min, HR all the way to 2 min

Day 4 - criterium

Context

11 laps on same track as day 3 but shorter and with a new climb (look at it, LOOK AT IT: https://goo.gl/maps/SpqdKYRZUGy), at the end, you get massive headwind, ... yeah, only in Jylland Plan: PLEASE JUST MAKE IT TO THE FINISHLINE

Race

Lap 1: All out sprint to climb, all out climb, all out attack in kantvind Lap 2: -||- Lap 3: ok, shit eases off a bit Lap 4: meh Lap 5: descending to the first climb, doing like 55 passing the polka dot jersey dude on the left as he closes the line and elbows me (literally, pushes me, as, uses force to dislocate me, not like Sagan magic elbow, proper push) into the grass off the road ... and I am like, ok, this is muddy, so my tire will dig in and ... oh, and there is some large stones there as well, ehh, goodbye .... wait, grass is not muddy, hop, back on the road. Ride up to the guy and politely as possible say: excuse me sir, that was a bit rude, please restrain your ... AHAHAHAH, #no: YOU DO THAT AGAIN AND YOU ARE FUCKING GOING DOWN YOU PIECE OF SHIT .... hold your ... DID YOU GET IT? ... line ... IT'S NOT YOUR LINE IF I'M ON IT ... Contemplate: do I have an aggression problem? Lap 6-10: some attacks, lungs are breathing heavier and heavier, I actually try and attack in the kantvind, Glenn does some solid work, anyhow, we're having fun, people are still pushing eachother around, good times, I try and pull/pace up the climb ... fun Lap 11 (last lap): I know they will attack, so I am up front going uphill, like 5th wheel or so, but then there is this dude, his handlebar keep bumping into my ass and I am like: ok, enough aggresion for today, I need some shelter anyhow so I move behind him WOOOOOP WRONG MOVE as they attack he opens gaps FUUUUCK NOOOOO ... .by the top I am dropped, 4 guys come by, I join, all I think is: hold that wheel, hold that wheel, just get the wheel, I love that wheel, that is my wheel, I LOVE YOU WHEEL ... never caught the bunch

Fun facts

By this time racing without velotooze seems weird, like REALLY weird

These help me do what I love, go pay them a visit: Musette 184 RACEDAY

[yumsomanyparts]

answers to brizzy’s hp video ??

soooo brizzy posted this ‘26 UNSOLVED Harry Potter Questions! ft Tessa Netting’ video to her channel and i felt like i had to answer some of these questions lmao so here goes:

1. what power do boggarts have? i’m not sure how it goes in the books because it’s been a while since i’ve read prisoner of azkaban but in the movie, lupin said that as the dementor is in fact a boggart, it can do no real harm, but it did make harry faint. i’m not sure how it’d be for snakes/spiders/other venomous things though. maybe it can just bite you but without the venom?? anyway good question! 2. why can’t harry see thestrals after he kills quirrell with his bare hands/why doesn’t he see them in his first year since he saw his mother die? for me the movies are not canon so i’ll just take the answer from the books, in which he fainted, simple as that. for his mother; i believe jo once said you have to acknowledge the death and accept it, and baby harry was too young to register what was happening, so even though he probably saw it happen, he was too young to realise what was going on. he also didn’t see the thestrals at the end of his fourth year, even though he saw cedric die, because he was still very traumatised and didn’t accept cedric was actually dead. 3. what rights do muggle parents have? I DON’T KNOW AND I WANNA KNOW AS WELL! i also always wondered how the dursley’s sent harry’s christmas ‘gifts’ to hogwart?? like, did they use an owl?? anyway i suppose for the diagon alley thing, i think it was once stated that muggleborns are accompanied by a witch or wizard to buy all their school supplies also when brizzy talks about marrying a muggle.. hmmmm i don’t know?? imagine if you’re a person that has a lot of flings that only last for a few weeks or a couple of months, you can’t possibly tell every partner that you’re magic? lol. i suppose for families it’s different, since dudley also knew about harry. also can wizarding law prosecute muggles for talking about witches/wizards?? 4. the eleven thing most people start showing their first magical signs at the age of 5, but i think british children go to secondary school at the age of 11 so i guess hogwarts ‘chose’ that age so it tallies with muggleborns or wizards who chose to go to muggle elementary school. also maybe you’re magical skills are fully ‘grown’(??) at the age of 11? 5. to what extent do muggle governments know about the wizarding world? i genuinely think it’s just the muggle prime minister who knows about it, and if anything happens in the magical world that muggles need to be concerned of, they just bring it out without full details (like when sirius black was on the muggle news but they didn’t tell which prison he escaped from) 6. the magical government in general i think it’s just people who are important in the ministry of magic who can say ‘we want them as our new minister of magic’ and they ask that person and when they refuse (like dumbledore) they ask the second idk. good question hmmm 7. peter pettigrew i know in the movies they show peter pettigrew on the map, but as i said before, i don’t consider the movies to be canon, since harry also performed magic at his house during the summer holidays in prisoner of azkaban. so, there’s this theory that says you can’t see animagi on the map unless you know they are animagi. for instance, lupin saw peter pettigrew on the map, but harry didn’t, and neither did the twins. besides that, gryffindor tower is a TOWER. at night, all the name labels would be on top of each other, so you couldn’t possibly make out all the individual names. and i imagine the twins not knowing the name, so even if they did see it appear once in a while, they maybe just didn’t pay any attention to it. also i don’t think they used the map a lot when ron came to school, because they already knew it by heart :P 8. transfiguration the only thing i can say here is: ANIMAL ABUSE. but i think to the animal it’d be like sleeping; you’re not aware it happened, so you just wake up and suddenly maybe 10 years have passed, like tessa said :’). i’m also with brizzy that when the spell didn’t work properly is because scabbers was actually pettigrew. but also; i can’t exactly remember how this scene happened in the books :) :) what i always wondered though; in the first book mcgonagall transfigures her desk into a pig and back; what about the pig’s soul/connsciousness? does it have a baby mind, is it immediately an adult? does it even have a soul?? hmmmmm???? 9. what do wizard kids do before they get their hogwarts letter i’m not sure this was stated in the books or in an interview, but i read somewhere that a lot of wizard kids go to muggle school or are homeschooled. but i feel like a lot of wizarding children would be illiterate since it’s not obligatory ?? so the system sucks a bit, like a lot of wizarding systems do lol 10. timeturners LET’S NOT EVEN START ON TIME-TURNERS LMAO (possible cursed child spoilers here!!) on pottermore it is said that it is too dangerous to use a time-turner for more than 5 hours at once, so you couldn’t use them for all situations. it is also extremely hard to get one, because you need all these forms and blah blah, like when hermione needed one for her lessons she had to show her grades and all that, so i suppose you couldn’t just say “hey let’s kill voldemort using a time-turner” idk. also good thing they were all destroyed in order of the phoenix because I HATED THEM and then they brought them back in cursed child URGHGHGH. also i probably watched too much doctor who but if time travel isn’t done right it makes me angry, like when brizzy said; they heard the axe but it happened to be a pumpkin so wtf?? if they hadn’t used the time turner it would have suddenly been buckbeak’s head?? idk thinking about it stresses me out because it CREATES A FRIGGIN PARADOX !!!!!!! imagine you go back in time to kill voldemort, but when you are on the scene he gets killed so you don’t have to go back in time IT’S A FRIGGIN PARADOX MAKE IT STOP 11. the department of mysteries I NEED ANSWERS AS WELL I NEED A SEVEN PART BOOK SERIES ON THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES. IF NEEDED, JUST GIVE ME A BOOK PER DOOR IN THE CIRCULAR ROOM I WOULD READ THEM ALL PLSSSS I’M BEGGING YOU 12. the veil?? yess the veil wtaf. okay it’s been a while since i’ve read order of the phoenix but as far as i can remember, sirius wasn’t hit with avada kedavra but he just fell through the veil ?? i’m not entirely sure though :o so i think the veil is just a portal to the afterlife but if you decide to walk through it you’d die as well. idk that’s my theory of it. 13. what happens when a ghost goes through the veil hmmmmm good question! i can relate to what brizzy said that it’s the only way of going on to the afterlife but since the department of mysteries is supposed to be a secret ghosts don’t know about it?? or maybe it allows them to travel from one world to another. i’d like the first theory best though lol 14. why doesn’t harry talk to sirius through the mirror believe me i’ve been asking myself the same question for YEARS. this still bothers me SO MUCH. “cuz harry’s dumb” YAS he is so dumb like SIRIUS WOULD STILL BE ALIVE IF YOU HAD USED THE MIRROR i honestly want to punch something every time i think about this 15. ball point pens AESTHETIC Y’ALL 16. glasses because they make harry look smart even though he is not smart at all. nah kidding idk?? the only people in the wizarding world that are known to wear glasses are harry, james, dumbledore, moaning myrtle, rita skeeter and mcgonagall (i’m probably forgetting some so correct me if i’m wrong), which makes ZERO sense to me. there probably is an eye-fixing spell though, otherwise more people would wear glasses? anyway i genuinely have no idea 17. peeves in philosopher’s stone one of the ghosts says “he’s not even a ghost” so there is a difference between ghosts and poltergeists. also i believe while the other ghosts are transparent, peeves has colour i think?? he wears a bonnet at some point, so does that make him solid? plothole probs because he can float through walls. but yes i think he is born as a poltergeist, apart from that, no idea 18. straps for wands brizzy’s reaction to this is literally me lmao. 19. crimes/aurors aurors are also called ‘dark wizard catchers’ so i think their job specifically is to catch dark wizards. but i think the definition of dark wizard reaches a bit further than just death eaters, so they’d probably also arrest thiefs and stuff. plus the wizarding community is pretty small in comparison to the muggle world so they probably don’t need all these ‘divisions’ in law people (idk the proper word lol) 20. why do they put wizards on trial instead of just using veritaserum because if you got a strong mind, you can fight the veritaserum, like harry fought the imperius curse. this was even in the books i think 21. wizards and christianity godric’s hollow is not a full wizard town, hogsmeade is the only one :) there just happen to live a lot of wizards in godric’s hollow. but the church was probably built by the muggles. for christmas/easter. i never really thought about this but i don’t think pureblood wizards are particularly religious. like tessa said, maybe they just thought ‘oh what a fun holiday let’s steal it’ lol. 22. how do you create a horcrux YES PLEASE I JUST NEED ALL THE ANSWERS 23. pensieves they’re so mysterious omg!! but i also think you just have like a general idea of the memory or like a title, but the whole specific memory is in the bottle? 24. wizarding population jo has stated that this is something she didn’t think through because there are only like 8 gryffindor students in harry’s year ?? even though there are indeed around 1000 students at hogwarts. maybe less babies were created during the first wizarding war? idk lol but in general i have no idea! i don’t think it’s very common tbh! 25. felix felicis it is incredibly hard to make and could be extremely dangerous if done wrong i believe. also doesn’t it take like 6 months to make?? of course an emergency stash would be handy but that could also get stolen by death eaters so i think it’s safest to just not make it in big doses lol 26. portraits this is actually on pottermore! for the headmaster portraits it is said that a portrait of the new headmaster is like placed in a dark room or something and the headmaster just talks to their portrait so it knows how they think and speak and all that. but i think it is also mentioned that all magical portraits do have some basic conversational skills. idk how painting a magical portrait goes though; imagine you’re peacefully painting severus snape and as soon as you’ve done the mouth it starts talking to you?? lol

yayyyy this took me over an hour to do!!! so please appreciate it lmaooo. this is all off the top of my head so correct me if i’m wrong please :D i also have a ton of random questions myself but this post is already way too long so i will spare you those lmao.

#brizzy #anna brisbin #brizzyvoices #brizzy voices #tessa netting #harry potter #youtube #questions #answers #pottermore #hp #horcrux #time turner #boggart #peeves #loose thoughts

[miladyinknthings]

So I think I’ve mentioned this before, my boyfriend is Viking spawn. Now and again I do a regional night or week of cooking, and all the recipes will be from our ancestral lands so Norwegian for him, Irish/German for me.Or I’ll pick somewhere completely new to change it up, just move away from my everyday menu and flavor profile.

This recipe came out of one of those weeks! I found it online when I was searching for other things to cook for dinner – and OH MY GOD GUYS. This recipe is labor intensive. I took a while before I tried it. But it is so worth the work. You will feel so accomplished at the end of the day when you look at your 20 perfect Skolebrød ! 190 calories a piece*, too, they don’t make for a break-the-bank snack.

Skolebrød

Makes 20 Buns – 190 C./ Bun –

For buns:

1 stick (8 Tbs.) melted butter

3 cups warm whole milk

1 cup sugar

1 1/2 Tbs. yeast

2 tsp. ground cardamom

1 tsp. salt

6 cups flour, plus more for kneading

1 egg, lightly beaten, for egg wash

For custard filling:

1 cup heavy cream

1 cup whole milk

1 egg

2 egg yolks

1 Tbs. cornstarch

1/2 cup plus 2 Tbs. granulated sugar

1 tsp. vanilla extract

For icing:

powdered sugar glaze (1 Tbs. milk + 1 tsp. vanilla extract blended with powdered sugar until it reaches icing consistency – about a cup)

Directions

In a large bowl, mix together the 3 cups warm milk, the melted butter, and the 1 cup sugar whisk in yeast and let set for 5-10 minutes until it rises.  Then, stir in the cardamom and salt.

Stir in the flour bit by bit until you have a stiff, but still fairly sticky dough.  Then turn it out and knead on a floured surface for about 5 minutes.  You need to keep your dough sticky, but workable, luck be with those who have a standing mixer, but for those of us doing this by hand, our hands shalt be encased in dough and we shalt LOVE IT!

 Place the dough in a lightly greased bowl, cover with a kitchen towel and put in a warm place to rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour. Fun fact, I have always placed my doughs on top of my fridge, never thought twice about it, until I remembered it was where my grandmother kept them, because of all the kids and animals running around her kitchen. I just thought it was where people were supposed to place them.

In the meantime, make the custard filling.  In a small bowl, whisk together the egg, egg yolks, cornstarch and sugar.  Combine the 1 cup milk and 1 cup heavy cream in a saucepan, and bring just to a simmer.  Add about 1/4 cup of the hot liquid to the bowl with the egg yolk mixture, whisking well as you pour to keep the egg from curdling.  Repeat, adding another 1/4 cup.  Then, pour the egg mixture back into the saucepan with the milk and cream, and cook over a medium-low temperature, stirring constantly, until it thickens to almost a pudding texture.  Remove from the heat, stir in the vanilla extract, and set aside to cool. (Don’t be afraid of this step, I thought I fucked it the first time I made the custard because my stuff boiled instead of simmered – I was distracted, cleaning – and I thought they curdled, but things turned out okay. It’s more forgiving than it sounds. You can do it!)

When the dough has risen, punch it down, (Great time to take out that anger of the day, Fuck you person you cut in front of me at the pharmacy!) and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface.  Divide it into 20 equal pieces.  I recommend dividing it in half first, and then half again and so on and so forth. I do this by hand, some people have great knives that make this easier. Good luck. the more even they are the better the cooking process will be!

Gently form each piece into a ball, then flatten it slightly into a thick disk. Use your fingers to make a big dimple in the center of each, then place them on the baking sheets.  Cover with towels and allow to rise for another 30 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 350F.  Before you add custard, you may need to re-dimple the dough, as it’s risen since the first dimple, that’s normal. some buns take it better than others. Afterward, put a spoonful of the custard into the center of each of the buns.  Then, brush around the edges of each bun with the egg wash.

Bake them one sheet at a time until golden brown, mine took around 17 minutes per batch.  Remove to cooling racks and allow them to cool completely.

While the buns are cooling, make the icing, (I waited until mine were already partly done that way my icing didn’t set) and rub a little icing onto a bun, avoiding the custard center.  Repeat with the remaining buns, making more glaze as needed and when you’re completely done set on a rack/plate to dry.

Special side note- Reheat these when you eat them, do NOT stack when you store them, and don’t use foil, they will be sticky! They stay good for about a week or so depending on temps in your storage space.

And here you have it – perfection in a pastry!

*Calorie counts come from MyFitnessPal App. And their associated website!

My Adventures in Skolbrod!

I spent an entire day with these lovely buns. We watched several episodes of The Office and cleaned my kitchen several times to make it livable and laundry won’t wait. My younger cat – the one I bottle-fed and who is a bit of a mama’s boy – felt very neglected.

But I was invested. There are a lot of really cool Norwegian recipes that I’m going to post but this was the one I wanted to try first, as far as the sweets are concerned, and I was really concerned that I would mess up. There was plenty of room for error.

Here we have my original set up as I started the process, I am a very organized baker, which is the polar opposite to how I do most anything else. I have everything portioned out before I use it and like to run through the recipe several times so that I am confident in each step. I’m fuck stupid anal. You would be amazing but I actually cook well with others.

The moment someone else enters my kitchen I let go of control and just accept the fact that I can’t do things my way. My little nephew came over recently and we did the whole, cooking on a chair thing, he’s fucking adorbs! I taught him to whisk, he holds the bowl in one hand and everything, he’s not even three. He’s amazing at it!

So here is where I thought I made my serious fuck up. I totally thought I curdled the custard – which sounds like Victorian swearing, omg, I love it – I was busy working on the dishes that had piled up and suddenly I glance back at it and BAM it was boiling. FUCK! I jump over and turn it off in a panic. I thought, damn, this is it, I only had enough heavy cream for the one batch – which is NEVER a good idea when you’re making something the first time, but whatever, I was being foolish – and then, luckily enough, when it finished, it was fine!

By the by, is it just me, or does custard not smell awesome at first when you’re cooking it?I’ve made it on a couple occasions now, and there is a stage where it does NOT smell fantastic. I’m always worried that I fucked it, but I taste it and both times it turned out just fine. Sooo, I don’t know.

Here they are with the dimples before the rising….

Here they are with the custard in them!

I will say I gave a lot of these buns away, and it was not for lack of loving them myself, it was more because I didn’t need to eat 20 buns in 7 days. Jesus Christ that would have been horrible. I mean, amazing, but horrible, you know what I mean.

I bundled them up in Tupperware, anything with structure so that the tops that are sticky don’t get disturbed, and avoided stacking them where I could, to preserve them as best I could. I learned the hard way not to put foil on them – after a while the glaze mixes with the foil and it bleeds off onto the bun, BLECK. It would have been nice to have some sort of disposable something to store the ones I was giving away.

Last but not least, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, reheat these 12-15 seconds at most, before eating! This takes it from good to sublime!

May your kitchens stay warm my friends!

    Skolebrød So I think I've mentioned this before, my boyfriend is Viking spawn. Now and again I do a regional night or week of cooking, and all the recipes will be from our ancestral lands so Norwegian for him, Irish/German for me.Or I'll pick somewhere completely new to change it up, just move away from my everyday menu and flavor profile.