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jaehyunzzmilk · 3 years

Text

make a wish

pairing: johnjae x reader (incubus angels)

word count: 2.1 k

genre: smut

summary: imagine johnny and jaehyun appearing in your room to satisfy your sexual dreams

notes: hey angels, as promised I'm uploading the first part of this fic I've always wanted to write, first chapter has to be with johnny and why not add my other bias, god gave us two holes for a reason lol next parts will be with other nct members but omg I got so horny while writing this, hope you like it, leave a feedback if you like

warnings: threesome, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected sex, double penetration, spanking, biting, choking, cum play, anal (female receiving)

"Make A Wish"

You're searching for some books at the occultism part at the library, you're not exactly sure what you're looking for, you just hope to find some answers for the dreams you're having. It was always the same dreams, well not the same story every time but it was always with the same men and at the same place, since you could remember. "Aren't people supposed to have different dreams?"

But the funny thing is, you're not afraid, the dreams are not nightmares, you actually like the feeling. There are these beautiful men, you think they are angels, always the same ones, there's something about them, when they appear in your dreams you get a level of serotonin you don't need anything else, you can feel them touching you, it's like you loved them.

You were almost obsessed with it, to a level where you spent most of your time sleeping trying to dream about it again. Of course you couldn't tell them to any therapist or friend because they would say you were insane, so you decided to do your own research.

While searching over the bookshelves, a word grabs your attention "Incubus".

'These demons crave sex and often attack their victims while they sleep.' You've heard about this before. While reading that quote a flash went through your brain of one of them fucking you, you couldn't remember which one was it, but the fact that you had a better feeling of orgasm from a dream that your real life was exciting. Maybe that was the reason you wanted to dream about it again.

Do you know that feeling when you wake up from a dream and don't remember about it at all? But you know you had the dream, and who it was with. That's how you feel about the demons or angels from your dreams. But the only thing you're sure it's you have to find a way to extend the feelings, enjoy them and ironically be conscious. You want to remember their faces, to talk to them, to fully feel them.

When you get home you prepare tea to start reading your book, you don't want to drink coffee because you want to sleep easily. Reading through the pages you learn that since the old days people experience dreams like the ones you do, for some people it might feel like nightmares, sleep paralysis and some even feel pain, it can last years. Then you learn something called lucid dream, that basically you can have control over your actions. You just wanted to see them again.

Can you induce a lucid dream? You were going to try it. There's a lot of ways to lucid dreaming, a lot of them involved setting up an alarm after you're in an REM phase of your sleep, which is the deepest level of sleep, then staying up for 30 minutes and getting back to sleep again. It was too much work, you were gonna try the easiest way.

Hours later, after reading the book and googling everything about lucid dreaming, you lay down on your bed and you try to remember some of your old dreams, that's what one of the articles says. You try hard to remember details, things you normally don't remember like the smell, the noises, the colour of the walls… And you repeat to yourself "I will dream about them tonight, I will remember my dream"

After about 30 minutes you're impatient, you can't stand to stay still anymore, you try everything but can't fall asleep. You open your eyes and stare at the ceiling then you grab your phone.

[1:00 am]

"- I love when she uses that silk night dress" A voice from the corner of the room says.

"- Look how perfect she is waiting for us!" Another voice says.

The two tall men walk towards your bed. They are tall and beautiful. They wear silk white clothes and have a skin that looks like porcelain.

Did it work? Were you dreaming?

"Are you angels?" You ask and sit down on your bed.

Both of them look at each other and laugh, they are sitting at the tip of the bed now.

"- You're the only angel here princess" The guy on the right says.

They come closer to you.

"- You were waiting for us, right? Did you miss us?"

"Ye-Yes but… Who are you? Can I know your names?" You say afraid you're going to wake up and they will disappear.

"- It's ok princess, we're not going anywhere! My name is Johnny" - He says passing his fingers through your hair.

"- I'm Jaehyun!" He lays on your side.

Gosh, how could they be so beautiful? It seems that you're in control of your actions now. You suddenly get shy and don't know what to do. If it's a dream then why does it feel so real?

"- You called us, right princess? Don't be shy" Jaehyun says and moves his hands up your tights, your whole body shivers with goosebumps.

"- Just relax angel, we'll take care of you, that's why we're here" Johnny says while kissing your neck.

Jaehyun moves his hand up and touches your core with the tip of his fingers.

"- Look Johnny, she's not wearing any panties! She was begging for us to come"

You moan while Jaehyun kisses the other side of your neck. Johnny takes off the shoulder strap from your night dress exposing one of your breasts and he goes down giving wet kisses on your nipple. Jaehyun moves your chin to his direction and kisses you, soft but intense.

"- Tell us what you want princess! Make a wish!" Johnny says, kissing your collarbones and grabbing your boob with his hand.

"I want you, both, all night"

Now Johnny kisses you, and Jaehyun starts to finger you slowly.

"- You have us, wish conceived!" Jaehyun says while taking off your night dress.

"- You're perfect!" Johnny passes his hands through your body and takes off his clothes. He kisses you again and sucks your bottom lip.

When Jaehyun's mouth makes contact with your clit you moan in Johnny's lip. You reach out to Johnny's length and start to move your hands up and down, spreading the precum from the tip to his base. Johnny comes back to sucking your nipple while Jaehyun is eating you out.

"- I want that pretty little mouth around my cock" Johnny says, grabbing your face to his cock. He pushes his length all the way into your mouth making you gag, saliva leaking from the corners of your mouth while you moan and take him all in. Holding your neck with one hand Johnny finds a way to reach your clit with his free hand while Jaehyun is devouring your pussy. Jaehyun's twitching back muscles looked so beautiful with his head between your legs and Johnny making sure he was also pleasuring you while you sucked him.

"- Such a good girl, does it feel good having both of us all for you?" Johnny says, pressing his finger harder on your clit. You pull out Johnny's length from your mouth for a second so you can breathe, your back arches and whole body tense because of how close you are. You give a loud moan when Johnny taps your clit and kisses you again.

"- Are you gonna cum on Jaehyun's mouth angel?" He bites your lower lip.

"Yes... Yes, I'm coming!" You scream in pleasure.

After recovering from your high Jaehyun bites your inner thigh and comes up to kiss you. "Look at how sweet you taste" Jaehyun gives you a deep kiss and Johnny collects your juices with his fingers and puts it in his mouth to also taste you. "- So wet for us!" Johnny says, his eyes get darker and he grabs your neck and kiss it from behind. Johnny grabs your hips and pulls down on his lap, he teases you brushing his cock on your ass.

"- Bend over for me!" Johnny says. You obey and get on all fours, looking up to see Jaehyun's smirking at you. Johnny gives a slap on your ass and you moan in surprise, getting even more wet.

"- Look at me "Jaehyun positions himself in front of your mouth and grabs your neck hard while Johnny enters your pussy with one deep thrust. He fucks you hard and deep while Jaehyun chokes you.

You reach for Jaehyun's dick hard on his stomach and take him in your mouth. You pick up a rhythm, tears coming out of your face from being stuffed with both of their dicks, room filled with the obscene noises of moans and skin slapping. Jaehyun moves his hips deep in your throat making you gag and choke and each one of your moans sends vibrations making him twitch. Jaehyun pulls out for a moment just to tease his tip on your lips, then you deepthroat him again. Johnny's thrusts are getting faster, making you moan into Jaehyn's cock, Johnny is moaning hard as well. "- I'm gonna cum" He digs his nails into your hips and comes hard inside you. At the same time Jaehyun removes himself from your mouth and grabs his dick in his hands "- Me too" he says. With no warning Jaehyun releases into your face making a mess, splashes of cum all over your face. Johnny is still inside you, he pulls your chest against his, holding your boob with your hand and your neck with the other. "- Look at the mess Jaehyun did to your pretty face, you like that don't you?" You push down in his cock and start moving your hips in circle motions "- You're so dirty, are you gonna come for us one more time?" Johnny asks. Johnny holding your weight on him, Jaehyun puts his fingers on your lower ab. "You look so good with Johnny's cook deep in your pussy" Jaehyun teases you while you keep thrusting on Johnny, he puts his hand in your belly, right where Johnny's dick is, then lowers to your clit. "- Cum for us one more time" Jaehyun says. You cum on Johnny's dick, legs shaking and you relapse on your bed.

Johnny and Jaehyun lay on your sides, Jaehyun is facing you and Johnny is behind. Johnny pulls your hair exposing the back of your neck giving you a kiss. "- Are you ready for round 2?" Jaehyun asks, kissing you. He lifts one of your legs, giving an easy access to your core, he teases your pussy lips with his tip, you whine wanting more. Johnny takes the leaking cum from your core to your butt hole, inserting a finger carefully to stretch you out. You squirm to reach Johnny's face and kiss him, rolling your hips to feel Jaehyun's dick brushing against your core and Johnny's fingers on your ass. "- Do you want our cocks filling you up? Can you handle that?" Johnny asks. "-Yes, yes please fuck me, I can take it".

Jaehyun stops the teasing and pulls his whole length into you, then pulls slowly out leaving only the tip inside you, he keeps doing that over and over, the overstimulation in your pussy lips is driving you insane, you whine. "- Sorry, I didn't hear you" Johnny says and slides his cock into your ass, you moan even louder than before with every thrust. The new feeling of pleasure consumes your body, two cocks inside your holes filling you up so good. They were being more gentle, the thrusts were slow but deep. Their hands running all over your body.

"- Fuck, how can you be so tight?" Jaehyun moans "You'll be so full with our cum" you drag your nails into his back. You tilt your head back, resting on Johnny's chest.

"Oh God, I can't hold for much longer!" You scream. Your body and mind are going blank with the overstimulation. Johnny and Jaehyun still thrusting into you, deeper and harder. You squirt on Jaehyun's dick so hard and he climaxes right after you. Jaehyun removes from you and Johnny's thrusts gets messier as he grabs your body with more strength as he is closer to his orgasm, with a few more pounds he releases into you groaning.

You breathe heavily trying to recover. "You did so well, my love!" Johnny says kissing you. Jaehyun helps cleaning you up and softly passes his fingers through your body.

"I don't want you to disappear, please stay with me, only with me!" You lay your head on Jaehyun's chest. "- Don't worry my angel, we are only yours!" Jaehyun says. "Promise?" You look at them. "- Yes baby, we promise!"

"I don't want this dream to end" You say and fall asleep in their arms.

"Find us in your daydream" Johnny whispers.

#johnny suh #jeong jaehyun #nct smut #jaehyun smut #johnny smut #johnjae #incubus au #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nctzen #nct 127

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opalesense · 3 years

Note

srry if this message is long af but omg i JUST found your blog and just finished obsessively reading through all of your works.. not only do you seem so sweet but i am also SO in love with your writing already 🥺💕 so i do actually have a small, kinda silly request if you dont mind... i have a massive crush on kaeya, and your take on a dom kaeya (in "you asked for it" and "dinners at diluc's") had me SHOOK - it's so perfect 😫. So my request is, like... how would kaeya react to a sub s/o who turns out to be very into bdsm but has absolutely 0 experience. Like never been kissed but would kill to be tied up kinda thing LOL. Oh and if you'd like you can include other boys too ofc! But yea no worries if this request doesnt vibe with you just wanted to say you are awesome and have a gr8 day 💕

a funny secret

kaeya & gn!reader (NSFW)

899 words • ~5 min. read

summary: after having a little too much to drink, kaeya coerces a secret out of you that he didn’t expect at all.

warnings: bondage mention

notes: AWW don’t worry about the long message because i loved every single word, seriously!! T^T thanks for the request and for dedicating so much time to my fics omg i bet it must’ve taken awhile to get through my entire blog... anyway i wrote this in headcanon-ish style because i don’t feel like writing in so much detail, i hope that’s okay!!

KAEYA KNOWS ALL TOO WELL of your inexperience with intimacy. when you were first starting to get more affectionate with him, he noticed the way you got so easily flustered by the smallest things and how you quivered in nervousness whenever he offered you a hug. he finds it very amusing that someone usually so composed can break under his slight touch.

the most you’ve ever done with him is give him hugs or hold his hand. if you didn’t express that you wanted more, he wouldn’t force you to do more. but sooner or later, that will change – though, not in the way he expected.

when the two of you decide to spend an evening at the tavern, you somehow end up with a few drinks too many. kaeya watches with a smirk as you start to slur your words, curiously wondering what information he could get out of you in this drunken state.

as he recounts a story of a criminal he interrogated the other day, he notices you giggling like a maniac, completely distracted from what he was talking about. even though he found your laughter adorable, it interrupted his flow of the story. “what’s so funny, sweetheart? this guy was a thief!”

“sorry, sorry! i was just thinking... do you... do you wanna know a funny secret?” you grinned at him. oh yes, he liked where this was going.

“enlighten me.”

“i would... maybe i shouldn’t say this,” you giggled and hid your face as you looked down, ashamed of the thought. he chuckled as he tucked your hair behind your ear then held your chin between his fingers, lifting your head up to look at him.

“go on,” he patiently watched as a blush crept onto your face. he was going to get this secret out of you, one way or another. it was the perfect opportunity! you were dizzily drunk in his grasp and completely flustered.

“i would... i would kill to be tied up by you like how you tied up that thief...” you whispered only loud enough so kaeya could barely hear you over the rowdy atmosphere of the tavern.

now kaeya was a bit flustered. he didn’t expect you to say that at all but he wasn’t complaining. he let go of your chin to place a hand on your thigh, gently caressing it and watching your nervous reactions closely. “what would you want me to do to you while you’re tied up, hm?”

“w-we’re in public,” you shyly diverted your gaze to your drink, taking another sip. “i don’t think i should say...”

“then how about we head to my place so you can tell me?” he teased, his hand slowly creeping towards your inner thigh as he leaned forward to kiss your cheek. you internally screamed at how touchy he was being, but that’s exactly how he wanted to make you feel. “you don’t have to kill to make your wishes come true, darling.”

the two of you hurry back, butterflies violently fluttering in your stomach while he held your hand so innocently, as if he wasn’t fantasizing about all the things he could do to you tonight the second you set foot in his home.

his hands immediately find their place on your waist after he locks his front door behind him. he looks down at you with a hungry gaze, his fingers toying with the fabric of your clothes. “what exactly were you thinking about that you couldn’t tell me at the tavern, hm?”

“i’ve always thought about what it’s like to be tied up... by you...” your voice trailed as he slowly lifted your shirt enough to place his gloved hands on your bare skin.

“mmhm,” he began to rub circles onto your skin with his thumbs. the feeling of being touched so intimately by him when the peak of your romantic experience was holding his hand or hugging him made your mind draw blanks. you were malfunctioning under his hands. “what else, darling?”

“i... i...”

“use your words, darling. what would you want me to do after i tie you up?”

“then i want... i want you to do whatever you want to me...”

“ohh,” he teased to make it seem like the dots were finally connecting. “let me get this straight...”

one hand trailed up your back, still trapped under your shirt. he used this leverage to lean closer to you, pulling your body towards his as he slowly muttered in your ear. “so you want me to tie you up, fuck you ‘til you’re senseless, and make you cum over and over again until you scream for me to stop? you want me to leave bruises and marks that will let everyone know you’re not as innocent as you seem?”

you couldn’t do anything but helplessly nod and whimper as he started to kiss your jawline, trailing kisses down to your neck. “you want me to make you my sweet little toy, don’t you? what a funny secret that is, indeed...”

“k-kaeya...” his name was the only thing on your mind right now as he smiled between kisses, loving the way you curled up in his arms so sweetly.

“fortunately for you, i keep some bundles of rope here in case we run out at the headquarters so... how about we give you what you want tonight, hm?”

#kaeya #kaeya x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #mine #bang #requested

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bangtanlalaland · 4 years

Text

a dose of relief | ksj (m.)

synopsis ⇣ the CDC’s hottest scientist so happens to be your lab partner. how much longer will it take until he has you begging for him?

— health scientist!au

⇢pairing: CDC health scientist!kim seokjin x female reader

⇢genre: crack, pwp, smut

⇢word count: 5.7k

⇢contents ⨯ warnings: so sorry for this filthy porn with no plot, I’m also horrible @ science (even though it’s one of my fave subjects in school) so plz forgive me if I said something wrong or certain facts are incorrect, I tried to not use so many details/specifics on the science ooey gooey stuff in case that could trigger anything amongst readers, srsly tho somebody call the fanfic writing police, omg, there’s so much tension lolol, Jin is a dom in this OMFG, masturbation, mentions of an outbreak (oops sorry), lab sex (yes, I really went there plz don’t judge me [I know I’m a dirty hoe]), semi-public sex? (not really, but almost) use of sex toys, hair pulling, spitting, face/ass/pussy slapping & licking (oop), unprotected sex (lolol the irony; STAY SAFE!), orgasms (duh), creampie, degradation, so much name calling (holy fuck), JIN HAS A BIG DICK OK (BECAUSE WE LOVE BIG DICKS RIGHT?!)

a/n: honestly I find it so hard to write for Jin & IDK WHYYY. so I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to let the light shine on him for this one. besides, Jin would make the PERFECT hOTTesT SCIENTIST. because WHY NOT?!?! oh & let this fic just be a reminder for those of you out there (you know who I’m talking about): WEAR A GODDAMN MASK.

Seokjin Kim.

The name of the most handsome man in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and yet you cannot spend a minute around him without perspiring. Because, well, you’re convinced he just has that affect on everyone. When in reality, it’s really only you. You sweat bullets being around him.

And he knows this. Which is why he’s near you again, looking just as sexy as he did the day before, attired in his white, lab coat — his blonde tresses clouding your vision as he wanders through the lab. You internally curse the universe for having made you both cross paths. You’d often speculate why he’s working here as a scientist. Shouldn’t he be somewhere on the front cover of like GQ Magazine or something? But no, for whatever reason, in this fucked up world we live in, he’s currently in the lab with you, performing test results, by using various liquid solutions.

“Ah, I can’t wait to finally clock out tonight.” Seokjin states while flicking a test tube that remains between his glove-covered fingers, gently placing the blood sample along with other tubes in the tray to be put away in the cooler.

“Hot date I’m assuming?” You question with a secret hint of jealousy oozing from your words — observing a sample through the microscope, turning the knobs to adjust the coarse and fine focus.

Jin beams at your assumption, shaking his head, “Ah. Nice one. But no.”

Your gaze flies up to his towering figure, raising your eyebrows, “So what is it?” You try not to get too lost into staring at his plump, pink lips. He almost catches you eyeing him and you instantly look away, darting your vision back into the microscope.

“I have the whole weekend off,” He coos with a giddy expression, and you internally scoff. That fucker.

You shake your head, “Sounds great!” No, it doesn’t sound great. Because he’s probably happy that he gets to be off so he can be with someone- Wait, no. He’s clearly not going on a date. Duh, he just told you that. Okay, now you’re really just fishing for something, but you’re also jealous of him that he’s off the entire weekend. These past few months have been hell, courtesy of a recent outbreak — every official, scientist, representative and whomever in the CDC is currently working day and night, non-stop to formulate a vaccine. Therefore you shuck away your feels, because you know Jin has more seniority than you within the company. You’d only just been transferred to his department right before the outbreak had occurred.

“Some well needed rest, huh?” You question, an attempt to keep the conversation going while also being the nosey old woman you are deep down inside. “You need it,” You unconsciously continue, somewhat too occupied in ensuring the proper amount of the sodium hypochlorite solution drops are added, squeezing the pipette carefully.

Jin nods his head in agreement, “Oh yeah,” he sighs, “Could definitely use what I call the Four S’s.” Your eyebrows furrow, more-so at concentrating on your accuracy.

But you hear him, and once the final drop of solution has been added, you pull away from the microscope, discarding the pipette in the proper disposal bin. “Four S’s?” You ask, with a tilt of your head.

“Mmhmm,” Jin seats himself on the stool in front of you, placing his hand under his chin. “Soup, soju, sex, and sleep.”

You nearly topple over when trying to seat yourself, and he doesn’t miss your clumsiness either. He thought it was cute how flustered you suddenly became, and he knew why you had. The word sex having stood out amongst the others he’d mentioned. You’re smoking under his gaze, a sudden wave of heat flashing over you within the blink of an eye. Ugh, how you hate the way he does this to you. Whatever this is. With a flicker of his eyebrows, a coy grin creeps upon his face. And you nervously swallow a gulp, easing the parched feeling in the back of your throat.

Awkwardly, you clear your throat, “Sounds like one hell of a weekend.” He continues his smirk at you, and at this point you grow slightly annoyed. Oh, his stupid hot face. Why does he keep staring like that?

“What?” You deadpan.

With a suck of his teeth, he pushes himself off the stool and stands up on his two feet, “Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone,” he coos with a wink. Yes, the fucker actually winked! You had to double check within your mind that you’re fully conscious because you couldn’t believe he did that. Jin doesn’t flirt with you, like ever. And you know that even he knows this, that grin still plastered upon his face. How the hell does he do it? Do this to you?

The sound of the door clicking signals his departure, to what you only assumed he was going on his lunch break. But the real question is, does he know? He must know that you are attracted to him, otherwise he wouldn’t have insinuated you’d “miss” him. Fuck. You’re screwed and you know it. Unfortunately not in the way you’d like to be screwed.

—

The weekend didn’t fly by like a breeze as it normally would, but instead dragged. You thought at one point the time may have just frozen, but subconsciously you knew that wasn’t even remotely possible. Although, you’re convinced that the reason for it all is because Seokjin wasn’t there. Normally, you’d both share the same shifts on weekends and everything felt in tune. You’d complete tests, run samples, and literally anything else under the sun together. But the time felt different when with him, and you’re beyond relieved to find that the end of your shift approaches. You both say your farewells and do it all over again the next day. It became a routine, really, one that you’d grown accustomed to.

However, since his weekend off, you felt something change, and you didn’t like it. You noticed since the start of your shifts, he permeated an odd vibe. Jin wasn’t making eye contact with you, and hell he didn’t greet you when he clocked in. Even when you’d discussed to your boss that after copious amounts of research and tests, the sodium hypochlorite solution kills various diseases and viruses, including HIV/AIDS, although said concoction is overly toxic for ingestion.

Seokjin never spoke or added anything from his research to back up your claim, which was completely degrading to you, because well… teamwork — he made you feel as though the countless amount of hours you’d both spent in the lab together was a waste. So yes, it was strange. He was acting strange, and you didn’t know whether to be gloomy or pissed about it all. After the meeting with the board, discussing the current problems with hygiene and public health, you returned to your station with Jin. You decide to test the waters and break the awkward silence since he wouldn’t.

You clear your throat in an attempt to draw his attention, but fail, his back still turned to you, “How was your weekend?”

He continues his work, not even flinching when you’d suddenly spoke. He replies so fast you were convinced he just knew exactly what you were going to say and simply waited for you to do so.

“Great,” he retorts with a nonchalant tone. You hear a few snap-like sounds and immediately note that he’s placing his gloves on. He brushes past you and into the cooler, removing a tray of blood samples to set them down onto the counter. You bite back a remark and instead try again.

“Had any good soup?” You internally cringe at yourself for saying something so stupid, but you can’t help but be the curious cat you are. Then his silence doesn’t make it any better. Here you are again, “Or at least some proper rest?”

His eyes finally meet yours, and you can’t quite read his pokerface. “I did,” He adds with still the most blank expression you’d known him to make. His gaze drops back toward the test tubes he’s busied himself with.

You continue to probe him, even though your insides scream otherwise, “Couldn’t have forgotten about the soju too, right?” You question, a tone laced with curiosity. He makes a simple “mmhmm” sound, clearly understanding where you’re going with this. A brief moment of silence subsides between the both of you, and for a moment you appreciated it but another side of you just had to know. Your essence ached for an answer, even though if said answer wasn’t one you’d want to hear, you still had to know. And you swear the phrase, “Curiosity kills the cat” could explain this moment in time.

“W-what about….” You trail off, in hopes he’d catch on. His eyes meet yours, and you can’t help but want to shribble up under his stare — whilst his defined lids peer into you, as if cascading into your soul.

“What about what?” Jin knows the next question you want to ask, and part of him wishes you’ll just ask already. He needs your inquiry of his sexcapades, because truth be told, he has none; and he’s on the brink of bending you over on this counter and fucking you senselessly — a burning ache, desperate to release his pent up frustration, mixed with the daily stresses that come along with work. His eyes linger onto your facial features, searching for a warning that you’d finally cave in, that by some miracle you’d admit you want him in just as a lustful manner as he wants you. Needs you. His weekend having been a long, cold, and lonely one. He’d desperately yearned for a woman’s touch, a dry spell long overdue.

He notes how your lips part and eyes widen, as if you’re stuck like a deer in headlights and don’t know how to simply let the words flow from your tongue. His pink, plush lips catch your attention, his bottom lip protruding in a manner that’s tempting for you to simply lick the flesh — the need to graze your teeth along the tissue clouding your mind. You suck in a quiet gasp, but audible enough for Jin to hear you. The sudden twitch of his member down below, the visual of having you whimper underneath him having flashed through his imagination. You instinctively obscure any second thoughts of your actions, because if he didn’t want you to know then why would he have mentioned the “Four S’s?” It’s like he’s calling your name, indirectly. Seokjin knows how curious you’ve always been, and it’d be silly to not know such a fact. After all, you’re a scientist that works for the CDC.

The more dense part of you spills, “Well, you know-” His eyebrow quirks up at you, as if not falling for your little trap. No, he wants to hear you say it, he wants those words coming out of you and streaming to his eardrums.

That familiar hum he has a habit of making slips from him, “Hm- No, I don’t.

He proceeds to his previous endeavors, scouring through the cabinets for some tools. You stand there dumbfoundedly, and cursing your own self for not having the courage to just speak your mind. Seokjin marvels at your conflicted expression, thanking his own self for not giving in so easily — because he wants to confirm his assumptions and needs you to make that move. He definitely didn’t want to be the first to impose, just in case you were to reject him and immediately perform some type of backlash technique. The last thing he needed was to lose his job and/or face a lawsuit for harassment. He ignores your stiff figure and gracefully mixes various liquids into a beaker. Your fingers tap along the counter and mind races hundreds of miles per hour. Just do it.

“Sex,” You whisper. His stirring stops suddenly and eyes move to yours with a slight tilt of his head. “Did you… Have sex?” You add, voice barely above a whisper. Jin sighs in relief, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders — the air now somewhat less stuffy, and he chooses to stifle back a moan of satisfaction at your question. And within an instant, he scoffs, sending a rush of discouragement over your being.

He shakes his head while a sly grin paints upon his face, “Wouldn’t you like to know, hm?” You roll your eyes at him, can’t even believe the audacity. Of course, you should have known he’d be comical about it. Because that’s what Jin does, which makes you question how he’d even passed the entire hiring process to be promised and given this position.

With a slight pull of your strands out of frustration, you retort, “What the hell, Jin? You were the first one to mention “the Four S’s” You make sure to exaggerate air quotation marks on the phrase.

“And now you’re acting like you can’t even say if you’ve gotten some over the weekend. What am I not allowed to ask you questions anymore?!” Seokjin stares at you with wide eyes, immediately making you feel guilty for your sudden outburst. But what was he to expect? How could he not think you’d be curious of how his weekend ended after revealing to you his much needed desires. You palm your face in embarrassment, not wanting to meet his gaze any longer. And that’s when he removes his gloves, discarding them in the designated bin, and the feel of his palms encase around yours, pulling you from your hidden position to reveal your face that’s now strained with a painful look.

“If it makes you feel any better… I haven’t had sex.” His sweet voice oozes of comfort, granting a sense of calmness to reside within you.

“It’s been so long, and I am actually going to lose my mind if I don’t soon enough.” His confession causes you to gasp lowly, and he notices this. You hadn’t realized he was still holding your hands, his fingers long and cold, rubbing light circles within your palms. You know that he’s telling the truth; his eyes screaming for attention. Jin is desperate, and you sense that, which would explain why he’d been so tense ever since showing up to work today. You take this chance to take in every feature he has to offer. His broad shoulders aiding to tower his figure above yours just as he constrains his neck slightly to glare into your eyes. Your mouth flies agape just by an inch, and you hadn’t realized how close Jin was to you. You could feel the warmth of his breathing from his nostrils hitting you like the heat boiling down below.

You had a dire need to just smash your lips with his to finally know what the pillow-y tissue feels like between your own. His deep, chocolate irises reeling you in and suddenly your hand clenches tight underneath his touch. He notices and releases his grip from you, not realizing he’d been holding you this entire time.

And then you break the ice suddenly, “I think you should get that taken cared of soon.” Jin watches your form whilst you depart yourself from the room. Entering the main hall, you hadn’t processed how warm the atmosphere in the lab had been — a thin sheen of sweat coating your face and neck, courtesy of Seokjin Kim.

—

And then things got weirder.

There was this unspeakable tension between the two of you. You hardly made much eye contact with him at work now. You trained yourself (somewhat) to not ask so many questions during your shifts together, and if Jin noticed this then he definitely didn’t show or tell that he did. You’d find yourself going home at the end of the day and pulling out your favorite vibrator just to orgasm at the thought of Seokjin and his rosy, juicy lips, slender fingers that you know could reach the highest of places; those silky, light, blonde strands that long for you to tug on them as he buries himself in between your legs. However, Jin does the same, even on that weekend when he was off. He coated himself in lubricant and acquired his pocket pussy to stuff his thick length through the silicone material, imagining that it was your walls encasing around his cock instead.

Bucking his hips upwards, wanton moans spilled from him whilst he continued to ride out the waves of pleasure he’d endured just by dreaming of you. He continuously re-played the sight of your face over and over again in his mind, when you’d looked up at him that day in the lab — with glossy, bright eyes twinkling of curiosity. He wanted right then and there to shove himself down your throat and make you choke on his big dick. At the moment his groin tensed up and balls ached to release his load, he moaned your name repeatedly, as if he was summoning you into his bed. Streams of his cum erupted into the sleeve, soaking his length with the creamy substance just as he huffed for air, an attempt to gain back his normal breathing pattern.

And then the next day…

He did it again.

But this time it was different. He opted for his palm instead and your voice. He scrambled through anything in his phone that could get him off, more like anything of you in his phone. Until it dawned on him. You’d left him a voicemail back when you first got hired, introducing yourself to him and asking him to give you a call back to discuss work-related matters.

Bingo.

Your voice sent tingles down his spine as it resonated through the speakers of his iPhone. Jin quietly hummed at your words, as if he was agreeing to what you were saying — even though it had nothing to do with sex or pleasing him in any matter.

“Wish you were here,” He slips with his eyes shut, whilst his palm eagerly strokes his stiff cock, fingers gently brushing along the vein on his shaft.

“Need you so bad. Want to make you scream my name.” He replays it again with a hiss through his teeth. Drips of precum seep from the head of his cock; he lightly grazes the flesh with his long fingers, stimulating the sensitive area. The squelching noises from his slick length can be heard throughout his apartment as he pumps himself vigorously.

Another uncontrollable hum spills from Jin when he replays the recording again, picturing you on your knees blowing him off until you lose your breath.

“Hi Mr. Kim!”

How much he loves when you call him that. He’d almost forgotten when you used to address him that way, until he insisted that you didn’t have to and to simply refer to him as Jin.

“Mmm, love it when you used to call me that,” Jin whispers softly.

His hips move on their own, bucking up into his hand. His thighs clenching as he continues to fuck himself through his palm, and with furrowed brows he claws the sheets of his bed at the sound of your voice.

“This is ____, I was just transferred to your department and was told to follow up with you for any questions I may have.”

Jin’s hums now turned into moans, “Oh, fuck. Want to make you cum on Mr. Kim’s cock.”

“Anyways, if you could please give me a call back then I would really appreciate it. I look forward to meeting you!”

Jin’s toes curl at the last statement, his lips part instinctively and thighs stiffen themselves. His impending orgasm approaches as he cries out in pure bliss, “Oh, yeah! F-fuck!”

His chest rises and falls when streams of cum project onto his abs, some coating his fingers — while he softly pumps himself to rid of the remaining secretions. His loose strands stick to his forehead, thanks to the built up perspiration due to the raise in his body temperature. Jin lies there with a shaky breath and trembling thighs paired with thoughts of you. How much he wished his cum hadn’t gone to waste, how he wished he could cum so much inside of you that you gush pools of his jizz when he removes himself out of you. And lastly, how he’s nearly on the brink of risking it all just to be inside you.

—

One morning you break through the doors of the lab you share with Jin, to find him peering through a microscope. You can’t take it anymore; it’s been too long since the day you’d met him that you wanted to literally devour him whole. The need to hold your composure now thrown out the window completely. You snatch your badge off of you followed by your coat and slam your hand onto the counter, startling him from his work.

“I need you to fuck me until my brain is dead and I forget who I am and that we are in the middle of a pandemic.”

Seokjin’s mouth and eyes fly as wide as they can go. Without hesitation, he perks up from the stool and nearly tumbles over to tear his gloves off, remove his glasses, coat, and protective mask. He hurriedly washes his hands in the nearby sink, his eyes still traced on your uptight form. With lips still parted, he makes his way back to you and grips your sides, caressing you as if he’s admiring this moment of you standing here in front of him, begging for only him. He can’t process what’s actually happening and so he opts to do so later, and instead just appreciate this moment — a dream that finally came true. Unexpectedly, he lunges you against the counter, causing your back to hit the handles of the drawers.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to say that?” He admits with a tone that’s mixed with lust.

Jin’s warm breath breezes past your face, sending a wave of chills down your spine. He cups your cheeks, and captures you in a heated kiss. His plump lips smooth out your own, a faint hint of coffee left on his tastebuds that signals you he more than likely had a cup of Joe this morning — your kisses filled with a fiery passion you didn’t know would finally come to light. His hands fall down to grip your waist in a feverish manner. Your fingers laced into his hair, an action you’d wanted to perform for what seems like forever now. His strands feel like satin under your fingertips.

His hands trail down to your ass cheeks, gripping the cushions with a hungry force. A rush of wetness seeps into your panties, and you silently convince yourself that you’d never been more horny until now. With teeth and tongues clashing, hands roaming along each others bodies, you both lose yourselves within each others touch — drifting into the euphoria of finally being relieved of the backed up tension that accumulated over these lonesome months. This moment in time was everything Jin had wished for. He yearned to have you in this way, and he’d only accept it if you were comfortable with doing so. The pang in his groin area throbs due to his high libido. Those nights he’d spent jerking himself off to the thought of you were now just a memory. When the burning need to breathe approaches, you both pull away panting for air. Jin’s already full lips now swollen and wet, his gorgeous almond-shaped eyes staring down your form in awe.

Your palms rest on his wide shoulders, caressing them with desperation.

“Please, Jin.” You plead with a whine. Within a swift he turns you around and bends you over. Your grip lands on the counter, knocking down the numerous utensils he’d previously been using, an almost failed attempt at keeping your balance. Jin roughly pulls your garments down, showcasing your panties. He brushes his digits along your covered core that pulses, almost as if speaking to his fingers. He applies more pressure, earning a small whimper. His erection gradually growing itself behind his briefs. He uses his index finger to pull your lacy undergarment to the side, a final reveal of your juicy lips. Your core clenches in front of him, as if calling to welcome him within your walls.

And suddenly a harsh slap lands on your delicate womanhood. You nearly fall apart on the spot at the abrupt infliction.

“That’s Mr. Kim to you.” He slips harshly and yanks your panties down to your ankles, your feet having tossed them somewhere in the distance. You hear the unbuckling of his belt, and he swiftly drops his trousers on the ground along with his briefs pooling at his ankles. His erect cock springs up, teasing the cheeks of your ass. And before you could even turn your head to take in the view of him, Seokjin slaps your lips a few times, the tip of his cock grazing against your clit while doing so. He then shoves himself entirely into you within one go, not even thinking to spare you even just for a moment. You knew you didn’t have to actually see his dick to know how big it is because damn did he stretch you out like you’d never been stretched before. You relentlessly pulsate around him, soaking him in your juices.

The pads of your fingertips grip onto the edge of the countertop. “Oh fuck me, oh!”

“Wow, you’re so tight. Fuck.” Jin moans. You find your hair being pulled back; he whispers into your ear, “I’m going to fucking give it to you, you hear me?” His large palm lands a rough smack to your ass cheek.

“Yes! S-sir!” You cry out, and another slap reoccurs, a familiar tingly sensation shoots straight to your heat. You didn’t think Jin was this dominate, but you’re convinced after such a drastic period of time, it would only make sense that he’d release his tension as he pleases. He creates his own brutal pace — relentlessly pounding your pussy out with no mercy. Your body bounces forward from Jin’s ferocious strokes, and your scalp aches from his tug on your hair.

“So wet, so tight,” He whispers to himself, blowing yet another smack to your bottom, followed by a gentle rub, an attempt to ease the soreness. You’re sure he’d leave a mark on you. The sound of his balls clapping against your cheeks resonates through the lab, and you internally pray that no one walks in because how fucked you’d both be if that happens. But at the same time, you really could care less because you’re being fucked by the hottest man in the company and that’s what matters right now.

“Fuck me, Mr. Kim! Please don’t stop!” His tug on your hair gets tighter. His delicate strands flapping up and down in the process of him hammering into you, his Adam’s apple bobs as moans emit from him, and his cock drenches itself in your arousal. He cherishes the sight of his dick entering and exiting your kitty, only for him to thrust forward into you with a sharp jab. He treasures your soft whimpers and cries of his name.

Jin pulls himself out of you completely, and you whine at the sudden loss of contact.

“Turn around,” With shaky legs, you comply and Jin gestures you to sit down on the stool — wrapping his arms under your knees and pulling your legs apart as wide as they can go, your drenched cunt on full display for his horny being.

You can finally see him and nearly cum on the spot at the sight of his huge cock. It’s beautiful, he glimmers of your wet — his mushroom tip approximately the same shade of color as his lips. He gives your pussy a few taps, mimicking a “knocking on the door” motion. The tip of his member prods your entrance, your fingers grip his forearms in hopes to not crumble from his ministrations, your legs eagerly wrapping themselves around his small waist. Once Jin’s length pushes past your folds, your walls immediately welcome him inside.

A fervor moan spills from you, and this time he doesn’t let up on your tender core, continuing where he left off with his rigid pace. With one hand gripping your waist, he uses the other to grip your neck, “Look at you all needy and desperate,” He slaps your face teasingly, earning a yelp from you. “I knew you wanted me this whole time.”

Another slap with a bit more force. A soft gasp falls from your fucked out self.

“Wanted me to destroy your tight little pussy just like this?” He forces a deep thrust, followed by another and another and another, gaining a strained cry from you. Your walls contract around his hardened length, begging for his motions to never stop. He slaps you again, making sure to leave a mark behind on your cheek.

“Speak when you’re spoken to.” He uses this time to slap your clit harshly, unsatisfied with not receiving a response from you.

You whimper in reply, a sudden jerk of your thighs, “Y-yes, Mr. Kim!”

Jin slaps you again, “Who’s a cock-hungry little slut for Mr. Kim?” He continues to slap your face again, alternating between your left and right cheek.

And again.

His filthy words cause a tingly sensation straight to your core, “Me. I-I am a slut for you, Sir.”

And again.

That familiar hum rumbles from Jin’s chest, an approval laced in satisfaction, “Mmm, that’s right. You’ll walk around this facility with my cum buried deep inside you. Understand?” He punctuates his question with a thrust so deep, you swear you feel him in your tummy.

“Yes, Sir!” You cry out with trembling legs. He’s hitting your sweet spot so well, and with another slap to your face, your eyes prick with tears. Jin’s overpowering demeanor is nothing like you’d ever seen before.

“Play with your clit.” He demands, and you follow. Your fingers find the nub to gently rub along the sensitive nerves, causing your thighs to twitch within Jin’s hold.

“Harder,” he commands. You comply and add more pressure, a boiling heat rising in the pit of your tummy. You close your eyes and focus on the sounds of Jin’s panting and your thighs smacking against his. He lands another harsh slap to your face, and squeezes your cheeks together with one hand.

“Open your mouth.” You obey him and find yourself opening up as he requests. He drops a line of his warm saliva onto your tongue, and demands, “Swallow.”

Your clit throbs in pleasure and he notes you’ve stopped rubbing yourself. With a gulp, you ingest his spit with a whimper. Jin slaps your clit this time, your legs naturally jerking in response.

“Did I tell you to stop touching yourself?” He probes while halting his thrusts. You nod your head in a no gesture, “N-no Sir.”

He slaps your aching clitoris repeatedly, then pulls himself out of you. Your walls cry at the loss of his thick cock. He bends down to forcefully slap your pussy, running his fingers along your dripping heat and within moments he lewdly spits on your wet folds, his saliva now glistening your already soaked labia. His tongue darts out to slither along your lips and he places a wet kiss to your clit before pulling away.

“I’d love to keep eating you out, but I’ve been dying to get inside this pussy,” He sheathes his member back inside of you and buries himself to the hilt, pulling back out all the way and slamming back into you. He releases another trail of his spit onto his shaft, smothering himself more. He licks the pad of his thumb and rubs your clit relentlessly, while giving you short and fast strokes; and suddenly your toes curl themselves at the same time your eyebrows furrow.

Seokjin notices your contorted expression, and with a beaming grin, he coos, “That’s right. Cum for Mr. Kim like the good, little slut you are.”

“Cumming, Oh fuck!” Your body quivers within his hold while your orgasm overtakes you, even the stool you’re still seated on slightly skids across the floor beneath you. Jin helps to ride your orgasm out, applying just the right amount of pressure as you writhe underneath him. Your nails graze along his clothed biceps, his sleeves now scrunched and wrinkled, and you honestly have no shame — too lost in being drowned into your orgasm.

He groans at the feel of your cunt contracting around his cock, his thrusts now gaining a sloppy momentum. “Fuck, didn’t know you could get so tight.” His eyes fall down to his cock — the sight of your lady lips sucking him in entirely and contracting around his shaft tips him over the edge.

Seokjin gazes into your eyes with parted lips and lets out a shuddering moan dipped in ecstasy, his nails dig into the flesh of your waist as he rides out his high.

“Fuck,” he breathlessly says. A sudden warmth down below causes you to witness Jin’s cock pulsing as thick ropes of his cum surges into you, painting your walls and filling you up entirely of him. He joins you in watching himself gradually ease out of you. You clench your walls intentionally; Jin’s cum drains from your fucked out heat and drips onto the ground.

You both remain in silence, the sound of your breaths filling up the entire space. Before you could even process what just happened, or simply let out a syllable or two, the double doors of the lab burst open.

There stood a tall, slender man with glasses and a dark-chocolate, bowl cut. His deep, baritone voice sends a shuddering chill through you.

“Someone’s got a lot of explaining to do.”

“Ah, shit.” Jin whispers, with both hands on his hips and his soft length now flaccid. You cover your face in your palms, in full shame.

#bts smut #jin smut #hyunglinenetwork #btsguild #btsgoldnet #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #btswritingcafe #mikrogalaxynet #ficswithluv #kim seokjin

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agentfrostbite · 3 years

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It's Saturday and I'm in the mood, so let's talk about Elijah Kamski

Specifically about how he treats his Chloes. Obviously this is an opinion, and everyone is entitled to theirs, but as I read Chlonnor ship fics (they are adorable and I am unrepentant), I notice that a lot of them have Chloe becoming a deviant after Connor chooses not to shoot her. I don't have a problem with this, per se, but I have noticed several things in game that makes me think she's already a deviant.

1. The other two Chloes are already deviant

It's a small detail that tends to get overlooked because you're busy focusing on meeting Elijah and "OMG, Amanda's dead??" and later whether or not Connor actually shot Chloe. But these two girls right here?

They're talking. They're chatting with each other. I know that doesn't sound like much, but look back on the rest of the game thus far. Androids that aren't deviant don't converse with other androids because there's no reason they should. They have a job, and unless they're being addressed by a human, that job doesn't involve talking. You know who does converse? Deviants. Additionally, they're just lounging in the pool, and I guess that Kamski could have ordered them in there because he doesn't like swimming alone/likes to swim with his Chloes/some other potentially creepier thing, but it feels a little too natural for that.

2. Kamski pushes Connor toward his own decision

Looking back on the scene, it's clear that Kamski is trying to force Connor into making the choice of whether or not to shoot Chloe, against Connor's will. He directly pits Connor's programming against his collected software instabilities to see which is stronger. Yes, he is a scientist, first and foremost, so he's gathering data through his test, but I think he's strongly leaning towards - and pushing Connor towards - a pro-deviant standpoint.

His dialogue throughout the scene puts longer, more emotional, emphatic language on the idea of deviancy and the free will of androids - specifically of Connor. He pushes Connor to attempt an answer outside his programming ("Well, that's what you're programmed to say... but you...what do you really want?") and he places special emphasis on Connor's individuality ("Decide who you are. An obedient machine... Or a living being endowed with free will...") in the critical moment just before Connor decides whether or not to shoot.

That, combined with the fact that the two Chloes in the pool are conversing - and at this point, watching the scene, one notably with a concerned/uncertain look as she turns back around - tells me that Kamski is supportive of the idea of deviants.

3. Kamski closes off and expresses almost negative emotion if Connor does choose to shoot Chloe

If Connor decides that his mission is more important than Chloe and shoots, Kamski's attitude makes a definite shift. Where earlier he was toying with Hank and Connor, giving cryptic answers and sidestepping the main issue they were there to discuss, after Chloe is shot, he switches to straight answers and short replies.

Additionally, this post by @omentrash highlights Kamski's obviously upset expression when Connor chooses to shoot Chloe. Call it what you like, but to me, this says he absolutely did not want Connor to fire.

4. No matter what route you choose, Kamski tells Connor about the emergency exit

In any situation where Connor ends up in a place of partial or total deviancy, Amanda resumes control of his program and traps him in the white-out blizzard Zen Garden. In this case, the only way for Connor to escape is to use the emergency exit. But he only knows about it because Kamski goes out of his way to inform Connor of it (and we'll get to the ramifications of Kamski knowing about Connor having it later).

Obviously in the deviant best ending, Connor uses this to avoid shooting Markus and the surviving Jericrew in the back, and most of the time, this ending was preceded by Connor deciding not to shoot Chloe. So yes, it makes sense that Kamski would inform him about a way out, should something like what Amanda does happen to him. But he also tells Connor about it if Connor does shoot Chloe, which lets us know that Kamski is hoping that perhaps Connor will deviate somewhere later down the line. He didn't do it here, but he might when faced with the same situation at a future time. Kamski is looking out for Connor, even though Connor isn't a deviant yet, because Kamski has hope that he might become one.

5. Deviants are capable of acting like normal androids

I include this one to illustrate that just because Chloe appears to be a perfect hostess here

and shows no emotion when faced with life or death doesn't mean that she's not a deviant. We know that deviants can, when necessary, act like normal androids. Markus and North do it at Stratford. (Specifically pointing out the part where a human opens the bathroom door, and Markus snaps to attention at the side, like a good little obedient Android janitor.)

Kamski is the Man of the Century. He revolutionized life for everyone across the planet by successfully creating a robotic assistant species that walks, talks, and looks roughly human, while doing everything a human can do with far more efficiency. Of course he gets house calls. And if his androids are deviants - and at the very least, the two in the pool are, so why wouldn't his first android be one as well? - and people come calling, they'd need to act like proper androids. Chloe, especially, since she greets people at the door and is the poster child.

And you'll notice, even in her interview, she acts more human than most androids do. She stammers, she smiles, she's clearly nervous. She shifts back and forth, readjusting in her seat like a human would. Sure, she needed to do these things to pass the Turing Test, but there's a deeper feel to it than just good programming. I think she was leaning heavily toward deviancy at that point. Not there yet, but close. That was years before we see her at Kamski's house in the game. She must be a deviant by now.

6. Kamski left an emergency exit in Connor's program, meaning that he had some hand in Connor's creation

So Kamski leaves emergency exits in all his programs; I think we've beaten the dead horse enough at this point, but I gotta do it one more time because why would Connor have his program? Base code, sure. Okay, we can make that argument that every android has the same base code as the original program. But we can also make the argument - and it has stronger evidence - that Kamski himself had a huge hand in developing the RK series. Proof? Markus.

Markus was a gift from Kamski to Carl; we know this from Connor's scan of Markus at Stratford Tower. We also know that Markus was a unique prototype, since his police file not only states this but also doesn't have a picture of him. No photo at all. Just a blank face, and "Unknown series" and a DESTROYED.

If Markus was one of a small handful, then they'd have a photo of another. They certainly wouldn't have a "Unknown Series" on the file. This makes me think that Kamski made Markus on his own and then gifted him to Carl. I suspect this means that he still has connections at CyberLife, which he used to get the parts for Markus. By giving Markus to Carl, knowing that Carl would cause him to deviate, he set up the seed of the revolution. Now why would Kamski do that, unless he was pro-deviant?

Summary

CyberLife decides to create an android detective/negotiator with the most cutting edge technology and coding the world has ever seen. This model would hunt down deviants and bring them back, if possible, for analysis so CyberLife could lock down the problem and eliminate it with a software patch. It's a delicate operation; after all, Connor starts with his toes on the line of deviancy. Presumably, when he goes to rescue Emma from Daniel, it's his first mission, and already, he's struggling with software instabilities. To think like a deviant, you have to be as unpredictable as possible. That means that he's right on the edge, and he remains on that edge for most of the game, depending on what the player decides to do with him.

So CyberLife need some assistance getting the code ironed out to ensure their Deviant Hunter doesn't become a deviant himself (until the time is right), so they turn to the man who first invented androids and has already technically worked on the RK series: Kamski. They ask - or perhaps Kamski himself offers - and Kamski works on the code. Not all of it, not even the majority, just the few bits and pieces where their almost-deviant and anti-deviant codes clash. All of his work is surely checked - secretly, of course; no need to make him think they don't trust him - so there's really only one thing he can add to Connor's program: the emergency exit. And that's why Connor is his program, why CyberLife would allow the exit to remain, why Kamski points it out, no matter what you choose.

And Kamski would do none of this - it doesn’t make sense for him to do any of this - unless he's secretly cheering on the revolution from the sidelines.

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh kamski #elijah kamski #dbh chloe #chloe rt600 #dbh connor #connor rk800 #dbh markus #markus rk200 #dbh carl #carl manfred #deviants #deviant connor #long post #dbh meta #pro deviant elijah kamski #deviant chloe

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misqato · 4 years

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𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 || 𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐚 𝐤𝐞𝐢

A/N: wow, this took me quite a while in writing but here it is!! hope you guys enjoy this fic. requests are still open my loves! ‘til next time, claire❤

Word Count: 1633 words

Genre: Fluff

You were six when you first declared your love for Kei.

It was a bright and sunny afternoon. The golden rays of the sun shining down on your backyard. You had invited your best friend and next-door neighbor, Tsukishima Kei.

“Tsukishima-kun! I have a special surprise for you!” You pulled out a ring made of construction paper and covered with golden glitter, like the one you were wearing at that moment. “Huh? What’s that?” “It’s a wedding ring Tsukishima-kun! I made it!” “But why do we need a wedding ring? We’re not married yet.”

You gave him a gap-toothed grin. “We aren’t married yet, Tsukishima-kun, but if you wear this, it’ll look like we are.”

The boy cocked his head to the side. “Why do we need to look like we’re married?”

“Because I love you Tsukishima-kun!”

His eyes widened at the statement. “You love me?”, he asked.

“Yes! I love you Tsukishima-kun! I love you with all my heart!”

Your mother suddenly came and called Kei because his mother was outside calling for him.

You put the ring on his palm and planted a kiss on his cheek. He was completely speechless and before he could think of anything to say, your mom called out again to remind Kei that his mom was outside.

"Bye Tsukishima-kun! I hope you like it!", you called out after him.

Years have passed by since the incident.

It didn’t change anything in your relationship with him, except for the fact that your bond with him became stronger. Even when Yamaguchi came along, you and Kei were still close. But not only that your friendship had improved, your feelings toward each other had increased throughout the years.

He didn’t wear the ring the next day. In fact, he didn’t wear the ring at all. Instead, he’d kept it. He kept it in a tiny box and put it on his shelf along with his dinosaur figurines. He even kept yours, which fell from your pocket as you were running on the way home.

Kei didn’t show it, but he was in love with you. He wasn’t sure at first, but when he’d start noticing all those tiny details about you, like the way you’d roll your eyes when he’d make a sarcastic remark, the way you laugh at your own stupid jokes before you could even get to the punchline, and even the way you pout when he teases you (he finds it adorable), he knew for sure that he was in love.

Now, both of you were in high school. He’d been meaning to confess his feelings towards you, but he just couldn’t find the words to say. He’d been missing every opportunity he could get.

Until after their match against Shiratorizawa, he knew it wasn’t the right time to tell you, but when you congratulated him with a hug so tight after the match, he completely melted and just as everyone was about to go home, he’d decided to finally tell you.

“Oi, chibi-chan”

“Yeah, Tsukki?”

“C’mere for a bit. I have something to tell you.”

You were kind of confused, but you just went along and pushed through his teammates who were still celebrating their victory on the match. “Tsukishima, Y/N, where are you two heading?”, you heard Daichi call out. “We’ll be back in a bit, just need to talk about something.”, you replied. “Okay, but don’t take too long, we’re about to leave any minute.”, the captain said.

So then Tsukishima pulled you to the side where it was much more quiet. He was very nervous and he tried his very best not to show it, but knowing him for the longest time, you knew something was off. “Um okay, what is this about?”, you asked. “Okay, so let me get straight to the point.”, he stated, making you raise an eyebrow.

He then took a deep breath and said, “I like you, a lot. Actually no, that’s an understatement. I’m in love with you, and I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now but I just can’t find an opportunity to do so.”

You gaped at him. You hadn’t expected your best friend to be in love with you but you were so so happy to hear those words from him.

You had the biggest crush on him ever since you were little kids. Even though he was the saltiest little thing, you still fell in love with him every single day. You really hadn’t expected him to like you back so what he just said made you completely speechless.

“Um? Anything to say? Hello? Earth to Y/N?”

You didn’t realize that you’d been gaping at him for a while. “Oh, sorry sorry.”, you replied. Finally finding the words to say you asked, “Wait, so are you asking me out?”. “Um, yeah I guess.” You then chuckled and said, “Well, you should’ve asked me sooner you know.”, you smirked. “Oh, why’s that?” “Cause then I would’ve had motivated you more today as your girlfriend.”

He then made a soft smile and said, “Well, even though you weren’t my girlfriend then, just seeing you watch the game gave me all the motivation I need.” That statement made your heart completely melt and so you leaped in to give him a warm hug which he gave into your touch and carried you in his embrace.

“So, should I take that as a yes?”, he asks. “Yeah”, you giggled.

“I love you dummy.”

“Love you too idiot.”

When you got back and told the team about the news, everyone started cheering and congratulating you both. Your co-managers Yachi and Kiyoko gave you a warm hug while the boys patted Tsukishima’s back.

Needless to say, everything worked out amazing in your relationship with Kei. The boy wasn’t big on PDA but when the two of you are alone, he gets all lovey dovey with you. You weren’t used to it the first time around, of course, for it wasn’t the salty, sarcastic boy you knew. But you grew accustomed to it because it’s nice seeing the affectionate side of him. But of course, he still keeps that usual salty side to him, which you didn’t really mind, you fell in love with that version of him anyway.

Kei hadn’t been happier in his life for he’s finally dating the girl he loved. Even though he’s not good with words and such, he makes sure to tell you how much he loves you often.

You both are staying strong even through college as you both decide on going to the same university. Even though your schedules were packed, you made sure to have some time for each other as much as possible.

And so the years pass by and you both graduate university. After both you had found stable jobs, you’d decided to move in together.

Life hasn’t been any better. You and Kei had been living with each other for about a year now. You both had tight schedules, but you still managed to find some time off to go on dates with each other.

It was a cool September evening when Kei had brought you to the sandy beach just a few minutes away from your shared apartment. It was windy that evening, and Kei admired the way the wind blew your hair away, the way your face gleamed in the moonlight, and how your eyes twinkled like the stars.

Both of you enjoyed nights like this, just sitting by the beach on a cool, windy evening, just talking about life. Sometimes, both of you would even climb on the rooftop of your apartment just to get a perfect view of the stars. It was your way of de-stressing with him. It made you feel at peace, just being away from everything and being with the man you loved, and it made him feel at peace too, because you’re just there right beside him, and that’s all that matters to him.

He’d been meaning to propose to you for months now. He found it difficult because of your busy schedules, so he thought, why not do it in your most favorite place in the whole wide world.

You’ve been sitting there quietly for a while, with your knees tucked to your chest to keep you warm. You rested your head on Kei’s shoulder.

“Y/N-san?”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember when we were still around six, I think, and you gave me a paper ring and told me that we’ll get married?”, he asked, which made you laugh. “Omg I almost forgot about that. Man, that was actually kind of embarrassing. I didn’t wear the ring that long though, it probably got lost at some point.”

“Yeah well, I actually kept them.” He pulled out a small box from his pocket and showed it to you. You were surprised he even remembered the incident, let alone the fact that he’d kept those rings. “Wow, I can’t believe you kept them.” You got the box and opened it. Inside were two of the paper rings that you made back in kindergarten, but along with it, was a 24 carat diamond ring.

Your eyes were spilling with tears of joy. You didn’t expect this to happen. Kei suddenly bent down on one knee and said, “I know I’m not good with words and all, so I’ll just go straight to the point. Y/N L/N, the love of my life, will you marry me?” You nodded furiously, “Yes! Yes I will!” You both sat up as he pulled you into his embrace. You’ve never felt this happy in your entire life, and so did he.

“I love you Y/N L/N, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Me too, Kei, me too.”

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mumufic · 3 years

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My ranty Author Notes to address questions on my Three Sisters fic

So, I feel like I should put up some notes on a number of recurring questions I get in the comments, for those who don’t really read my responses (because I do provide some detailed explanations for why certain things are happening in my fic, but I get it if sloughing through comments for insight isn’t your thing; it isn’t mine either, hence the A/N.)

Why is Lily so stupid / obtuse / blind about Snape? Let’s level-set a couple of things: A) Lily is about as Gryffindor as they come, and some of the more common character flaws of people who belong to that house is that they rather tend to think a lot less of situations before diving in. That’s the case for Lily in this fic. Snape was her first magical friend that she’d ever met. She cherishes that friendship because she knows it’s returned even though she might not agree with a lot of Snape’s beliefs, not to mention Snape was the first person who told her that all the strange things that have been happening to her was the result of her being magical. For a child feeling the otherness of her abilities so keenly around her perfectly normal, muggle working class family, that is a huge thing. For the first time, Lily thought she’d met someone who understood her and the things she could do, and for that to have happened to her as a child, the person who validates that part of her being is going to play a very central role in her life until she reaches a breaking point. In the books, that breaking point was when Snape’s bigotry included her. For the longest time, he’d always excluded her from his hateful rhetoric, and there’s passages in the books that support that. B) Lily is a kid. She’s 11, and she probably met Snape at a much younger age (I’m guessing around 8 or 9) Kids who value their friends can sometimes be stupidly loyal to them even when their friends are behaving badly. Why do you think peer pressure is such a huge thing among young people? It’s partly because they value the person who is their friend to the point of being foolhardy over said friend’s bad actions. C) A lot of Snape’s bigotry goes over Lily’s head, because she’s never been taught to find differences between magical and non-magical people. Her parents obviously love her and Petunia the same and for her, that means they’re no different. She doesn’t understand the superiority Snape feels over Petunia, and because she doesn’t understand it, and also because she’s just a stupid kid who doesn’t really know better or even understands the slurs that come out of Snape’s mouth, she doesn’t think too much of it. Notice that Lily actually does call him out when he’s being mean to Petunia in ways that she can understand, when Snape tells Petunia that he had no place being in Platform 9 3/4 for example. But then Snape follows it up with reasoning that seems to be perfectly sound - Platform 9 3/4 is a magical location; it might not be the best place for Petunia to be. As for the spoon encounter, Lily had some basic understanding of accidental magic, thanks to Holly, and mostly chocked up that unfortunate event to Snape’s accidental magic rearing up from Petunia’s mean-spirited taunting. Petunia isn’t innocent in that scene, if you go back to it and think critically on it, look at it in the eyes of a normal rational adult. She’s just presented as being sympathetic because the narration is from Holly’s POV, and Holly likes this Petunia and hates Snape absolutely. Lastly, pretty much everything I have on Snape during the Summer with the Evanses part of this story have a basis in canon. He was hateful to Petunia, but Lily constantly made excuses for him, thinking that he’s just mean in general because of his difficult family life. The same goes when they get to Hogwarts. Snape spouts the same bigoted things the Slytherin Purebloods say, and Lily makes excuses for him. That’s canon. Lily made excuses for Snape’s behavior to her sister and her friends (especially Mary, who was canonically muggleborn) until she found she couldn’t anymore because his hatefulness suddenly spilled over to include her. Does that make Lily stupid? Probably, yes. Does it make her human? Fucking hell yes, and anyone who thinks that they won’t behave that way have clearly never figured out conflicted love-hate relationships with toxic people, so good for you, but these things happen to others, and it shouldn’t be surprising. There’s a basis for this in reality, and there’s a basis for Lily’s blind loyalty to Snape in canon. And barring all of that if you don’t agree, it’s my fic, and I choose to write her this way. If that makes her a stupid character and you think I’m assassinating Lily’s characterization from canon, your interpretation is valid, but so is my right to write what I want as long as I’m not making a cent off of this. Thanks.

Why is Sirius spouting the bigotry he vehemently disavowed in OoTP? And why did he call Holly a mudblood? I don’t know about you, but I think Sirius had to have been an extremely sheltered child, growing up in a magical house surrounded on all sides by a muggle neighborhood. I think he started questioning why he wasn’t allowed to play with other children whom he could probably see from his bedroom window, but he didn’t actually know how and why he needed to reason it out with his parents until he met people who taught him how to articulate the feelings he had over his parents’ bigotry against muggles and muggleborns. As for why he called Holly a mudblood, again, has a lot to do with the normalization of hate in the household he grew up in. Walburga and Orion Black taught their children to hate anything and anyone that didn’t subscribe to the same Pureblood rhetoric as they did. And since Sirius thought Holly lived with the Evanses, who were muggle, and not with the Potters who were Purebloods, he didn’t see a distinction for her blood status from Mary or Lily, who were actually muggleborn. Hell, I don’t even think Sirius understood blood status all that well at all as an 11-year-old. He was just repeating shit he heard his parents say because he didn’t know any better. I’m not going to tell you how to interpret your reading of my fic, but generally, I wouldn’t ascribe knowledge that I know of characters and events to the characters within the story, because they can’t be expected to know and understand what I know and understand, especially in a fic written in such a limited POV, and things like Holly’s blood status, would not be known to Sirius because Holly had never actually told James or him about her parents, other than that they were Potters. And while you can make a case for the fact that Holly told Sirius and Regulus in Chapter 7 that she’s not muggleborn, I still stand by the idea that the Black exclusionist ideas that Walburga and Orion taught their children would still have Sirius identifying her as one simply because of where he thinks she grew up in.

Why is Holly so stupidly letting so many details from her timeline out to her friends? I think we should all cut Holly some slack for spilling so many details about her life to Lily and Petunia. She’s an orphan who’ finally met the girl who would be her mother. She can’t shut up about her life because OMG my MUM! I finally got to meet her! On top of that, up until the point where Holly met Fleamont Potter, the last time Holly had been warned about meddling with time had been when she was in third year, and it was rushed and the warning hadn’t even been made to her; it had been McGonagall warning Hermione and Hermione repeating the same information to her. So the meddling about time? Holly didn’t exactly give a shit. Lastly, we have so many references in canon of Harry Potter being an exceptionally impulsive little blockhead to the point where he constantly gets himself into trouble. Running after the Philosopher’s Stone in PS, continuing on to fight the basilisk and look for Ginny while Ron tries to get help in CoS, haring off to the Ministry in OoTP, Sectumsempra in HBP, uttering Voldemort’s name and getting them caught by Snatchers in DH… the list is actually pretty damn long. So why should it not be a character flaw for Holly in this fic to be stupidly impulsive in the information she gives out to a person she thinks is her mother, one she’s loved and idolized and put on a pedestal all her life? Why shouldn’t she spout similarly incriminating information to a boy she knows would be her godfather, whom she trusted and loved up until he got killed? It’s a character flaw, yes, and I’m not here to write perfect characters, because perfect characters who only do the right and intelligent thing make for a dry, boring read. If you weren’t about annoying flaws like this, then you’re welcome to click off my fic and find some other story where Harry is the perfect godsent angel come to save us all. That’s not what this story is about.

Why aren’t you patching up any of these inconsistencies that multiple people have already pointed out? Some of them, because that is how I want to write the characters in my story. Some of them, because there will be points in the future where these things are addressed and resolved. And yet still some of them because I don’t want to. Yes, even the stupid ones that really don’t make sense and should probably be changed. I don’t want to go back and change them. That’s how I am as a fic writer, and last I checked, this is still my fanfic.

Want to have a say in how I’m planning the characterization and plotting out? I’m still looking for a beta who I’d like to be able to help me with things like plot inconsistencies, annoying characterization (ok, shut up about Lily already. I didn’t make her this stupid; JKR did when she wrote Lily insisting on her friendship with Snape all the way up to fifth year!), and just generally talk about how and where I intend for the story to go.

If you’d like to beta for me, hit me up on my main Tumblr, @mumuinc or DM me on Discord; my profile is mumuinc#7662.

#fanfic writing #the three sisters #my writing

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seijorhi · 3 years

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asks :))

i’m bad at answering things :)) whoops.

ughhhh your writing is actually immaculate, you know?? like not only are your scenarios always hot and well characterized, but the writing itself is so. on. point. like the grammar/word choice/sentence structure and variety and i hate to sound like a english teacher but when an x reader does all that right... it just hits different idkkk - @gingersnaaps

HI I LOVE YOU THIS IS SUPER FUCKING SWEET <33

Ok but imagine how awkward it is to be shoved into that room with the rest of Seijoh mannn what was the conversation lol

very, very awkward. but considering the wide eyed, confused and slightly terrified look on the reader’s face and how fucking pissed off mad dog was, it wasn’t too hard for them to connect the dots lmao.

Rhi ill be honest, all day i have thought about your kyoutani taking me home afterwards and trying to help me feel better with all the bruises i know he left and then judt fast forwarding to me being his perfect wife that adores him with her whole being so, thank you <3

i mean... yeah. if that’s the scenario/ending you wanna imagine go for it bby! haha, but thank you!

FIRST OFFFF your kyoutani fic is *chef’s kiss* i swear you never miss. now i didn’t fuck with that tennis ball mfer before, but after reading that fic— whewww officially a kyoutani simp

and second. what’s that drabble/teaser of the mc being “stuck between her husband oikawa, iwa, and a hungry young kageyama with something to prove”?? somebody pls provide the link👀

i can’t find it :(( but tbh it was like two sentences from memory, you’re not missing out on much. but yeah, kyoutani supremacy!

Omg thank you for writing Rabid!

I love Kyoutani and I feel like he’s super underrated especially in the fanfic part of the Haikyuu fandom. You wrote a masterpiece, it was wonderful! 🥺💕

You made me love Kyoutani more 😎

ahh thank you, nonnie!! kyoutani needs more love <33

whaaaa can we get the link to that drabble with oikawa, iwa, and kags pls?🥺

it’s not an actual drabble, more just me rambling and bby i tried to find it but i couldn’t :(( sorry!!

poly seijoh yakuza.......... those words have sparked such a strong emotion in me thank you

it’s just very sexy y’know?

You’re just so talented and I hope u really know that and don’t just accept compliments but internalize them because holy fuck your writing is amazing every time even for characters I’ve never cared for in the past

dear nonnie, you now have my heart. please be gentle w it 🥺

Hdjejehehdjdh I'm living and dying for the soulmate Au's that you have. Just thank you so much for the delicious food!

ahh thank you, bby!! glad you like em :))

Heyy :3 I just read your Kuroo Story "Gift wrapped" (I love it!) and i wanted to ask if there is going to be a fourth part because there still are some open questions (like what bokuto did to our poor reader and I wanna see Kuroos reaction to it! *^*). But yeah, I love your writings and I can’t wait to read more of them :)

you want a part 4?? from me?? who has to be bullied into writing part 2′s?? lmao sorry to disappoint bby but i don’t think i’m gonna write more for that fic, even if it is one of my faves. but i’m glad you liked it!!

Hey rhi!! Hope you’re doing well🌹🌹 would you ever consider doing a alternate POV for Like Nobody Else? I’m dying to know the details of what iawioi were thinking and what thoughts were running through their head as they slowly piece together that y/n is their soulmate 🥺🤩🤩 I love reading from the yandere pov it gives me butterflies 🦋✨ and ofc your writing gives me butterflies as well 🦋

have i thought about it? yes. did i try to write a lil something for you? also yes but it was bad and so i didn’t because i don’t wanna throw crap writing up onto my page for the sake of it. maybe one day? it wouldn’t be a full fic if anything just maybe a little drabble

Always and Inescapable are too much for my heart to take but I love it 💯 do you have a tag list? If so may I be added?

i do not because tag lists take forever, half the time they don’t work and usually i’m posting barely awake at 3am in the morning so it’s not a fun experience, sorry. but thank you!!

#whoops #just gonna pretend i haven't neglected my inbox for 3 days #my bad #rhi answers 💕

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jdramione · 3 years

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My 2nd Story Rec: Tripwires by Mandarou @end-o-the-line https://archiveofourown.org/works/7262188/chapters/16488682

I read Tripwires a few years ago for the first time and I’m positive that in the process of reading this story, something in my chest cracked completely in half and I was left... broken.

This story captivates me in ALL the ways. I just finished a re-read of it for the billionth time, and again, I’m just absolutely moved by it. The story is deep and incredibly moving. There are scenes within this story that leave me brokenhearted and wrecked. I feel every single thing that Steve feels, and the way this author writes truth and emotion and angst - few writers can even begin to compare.

This story is one of those that just feels... more. You, the reader, are along for an emotionally angsty ride that far surpasses words on a page. In many ways, this story is just... everything to me. With every new story I find and give a chance to, this is one that gobsmacked me the first time I read it. I think I walked around in an emotional mess for days after I read the last line. Broken, put together, laid out bare. It did all of those things to me and more. How? How does an author incapsulate these things and make them flesh? Reading this story puts you in this magical world of angsty storytelling perfection that you could ever hope to find, and when it takes you there - those places, that are deep within and hurtful and painful and it just sinks its teeth into you and you can’t help but go - yes, thank you god, finally, someone has managed to put feelings into words and express these things I’ve never managed to figure out within myself but here they are and I’m staring at them and I can barely breathe. It leaves you breathless for more. And still, I’m not even talking about the sex scenes. Which are epic in all proportions, sexy, perfect, humbling. MORE. There is this one poignant moment, and don’t ask me where because I’m gonna be vague and the last amount of spoiler-y as one can be when making a list of favorite moments. But there is this moment where Steve slides down a door, to his butt, and is just torn up (as am I EVERY TIME I read this tiny moment) and Bucky, cool as you can be, as present as one can be fully in love but remaining arm-length apart. And they both press the side fo their faces to the wall looking at each other, talking to each other quietly. And it feels so big, the emotion. It fucking hurts. "You’re thinking too. hard, Stevie.” -- Fucking kills me. Breaks my goddamn heart. “Howard was my friend,” Barnes whispered. “No words will ever be enough.” -- I’m dead. Broken. WHY is Bucky humming the HOTTEST THING EVER in this world? How did I never find humming so sexy in any other fic? Bucky hums through this story and it’s beautiful and sexy and so RIGHT and in character that it leaves me melting into romantic goo every single time. And it’s literal “humming.” I recognize the ridiculousness of this paragraph. But WHY does it do all the things to me? I HATED Clint the first time I read it. And then I loved him so fucking much. And he broke my heart. Never have I ever read Clint characterized exactly like he is in this fic. I understand him, I get it. But he breaks my heart. And then I’m so glad he’s there for Bucky. It’s such a mixed box of feelings. The moment where Tony actually walks Clint down to his motorcycle - why does this little thing ruin me? I think it’s because you know so much that Clint is so angry on Bucky’s behalf, and yet there is Tony, in the wrong, and knowing he’s in the wrong, but goes down to shake his hand goodbye. There is respect there, and I would like to think still love between them all. But everything from “Mercy” on left me laying on the ground in the middle of the road, dead. That scene. I won’t even go into it. Read this fic you guys. OMG. I could hardly read I was sobbing so much. In my bedroom, on my computer, like a little child with a broken heart, sobbing. How did this author do this to me? And thank you so much. The rooftop scene with the cigarette. God, the characterization here. Bucky understands Steve so deeply. And Steve, desperately attempting to grasp onto his feelings, to figure out his anger, and grief, and heartbreak, and love. There is so much to unpack, and the author does it one shirt at a time out of the suitcase. Or rather, I guess the metaphor works better if instead of “unpacking” the reader is “packing” one shirt at a time, until the suitcase is full, like your heart, like your mind, and everything clicks and puzzles together and makes sense. And it’s not all perfect and right, but it will be. Always and Forever. I think I need a tattoo of it, I think. OMG.

I truly did not expect vulnerable Tony. And he’s vulnerable in a completely different way than Steve. Steve is heartbroken, and that makes him vulnerable. Bucky is protecting himself, vulnerable that way, and yet so strong. But Tony, probably the oldest in age? No, Bucky would be oldest. But in all the ways, the characterization of Tony in this story makes me feel he is the young one. I love how he and Bucky are together. Tony and Steve - they make sense. Steve and Bucky, though. There’s something truly precious there. It took me a while to understand Bucky, and when I finally did, it was like I’d been hit over the head with a club. Like a stone dropped in a well, and I felt it go through me. Terrible metaphors - but it’s so heartbreaking... it’s so sad. There is such... loss. “Bucky would always choose Steve. But Steve . . . Steve would always choose the right thing. So Bucky had to have a buffer.” - That’s it in a nutshell. Kills me dead. The insight is so spot on, makes so much sense, and is heartbreakingly accurate.

“A whole year.” Kills me every time, and I cry with Steve here. Every time. The betrayal of protection and assuming. That pretty much sums up everything that hurt me so much, so deeply, in this story. On all sides. “Check him,” Bucky was shouting. “I hurt him. I know I hurt him. I had to hurt him.” Dead. The moment of Steve’s “Wow.” And then the cow. Thank the fuck. And also, OMG. I was there. Hanging onto every single word that Steve felt. Forced outside, not knowing why he went outside. Laying his head on Bucky’s knee. I could read this scene over and over, and it’s perfect. It’s just... sigh-worthy, cry-worthy, perfect. “Steve’s going to fall apart.” -- This scene read SO differently after the first time and makes me cry when I understand what is going through Bucky’s mind here. I ADORE how the writer did this so incredibly well. I have to know - was this scene planned ahead of time, or was it an afterthought and reference back to? This scene, during a re-read, is just... everything. This is where it all goes wrong. The scene that you think is taking shape is not at all what is happening, and it’s just genius, writing of epic proportions and I just can’t even with it. But it’s heartbreaking and then it’s heartbreaking, which feels worse - way worse in the end. Mercy leaves me blubbering. It’s my official breaking point in all of this fic.

I could truly go on. And on and on. I don’t know how this skillful writer put this story together. Somehow, despite the heartbreak and the angst, and the... deep emotional and vulnerable shit all over the place that makes you sink and feel and need.... despite that - it’s funny in parts. And so, so romantic. Gentle caress, soft kisses, longing stares. It’s a complete package, all wrapped up. And few fics have ever taken me on the emotional journey that this story did. What leaves me so gobsmacked is how I start the team feeling the utmost grief for all that is Steve. And somewhere by the end, while I’m still feeling that same grief and heartbreak for Steve, Bucky tugs at my heart even worse. His easy acceptance of “I love you always and forever, despite everything, forever, even if I can’t have you all to myself, I will always love you, even if you won’t love me back as much as I love you - and Steve just doesn’t understand and Bucky loves that part of him too.” Just... HOW. Stunning. Brilliant. Brave. Hard. Breathtaking. Heartbreaking.

It’s just MORE. More than others. More than maybe even itself.

It’s one of those stories that I have to have repeated inner debates on whether or not to search out a new fic or just enjoy immersing myself yet again into this visceral and lush world, where everything just fits, like the perfect puzzle piece. It all is described in such detail, you can practically taste the air, and the characters feel foundational in a way most stories lack because they can’t see them so wholeheartedly, in both their strengths as well as their weaknesses.

To me, this is a core fic. If you want a story that completely fleshes out ALL the characters, plot, and storyline - this is the one for you. It’s angsty, so much so that one physically aches for these characters, but in that angst, it’s so gorgeously done that despite how much it hurts, you need more.

What inspires me to write? Stories like this one, where I can live and breathe these characters in a world that was created exactly and perfectly for them.

If you have read it - let me know I’m not alone in my obsession. If you haven’t, go READ this - including the INCREDIBLE timeline part 2 and then get back to me. I need to fan-girl a bit on some of these authors, and need some friends who are along with me for the ride. At some point, I’ll figure out how to archive my story recs together. But I want to give each rec it’s moment to begin with.

#story rec #fanfiction rec #stucky #stucky rec #my favorite #mandarou #end-o-the-line

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dear-yandere · 3 years

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—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

#asks collection #not a fic #vanya rambles #[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]

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hopetofantasy · 4 years

Text

‘Wandering Romance’

- A future with child fic -

Square Filled: Future, Family, Past lovers Ship: Sander Driesen/Robbe Ijzermans Trigger Warnings (if applicable): none applied. Created for @skamevents Summary: "A perfect, tight little family. But happy. Until one unfortunate day in May, in the year that David turned six." In the future, Robbe and Sander have a son named David. The only tie they have left with each other, actually. Because our lovers split up years ago, due to mistakes that were made in the past. So is their love strong enough to sustain a healthy friendship? Will they find their way to each other again or break all connections for good? Also available on AO3

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CHAPTER 1: 'No one knows the pain'

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“David! Your dad’s here!”

Loud thundering on the stairs, caused by tiny child’s feet, followed by a high pitched exhale directed towards the man in the door. The later one immediately wrapped his arms around his hyperactive boy. Sighing deeply. The emotion on his face revealed unconditional love, as well as a vague sadness. Hurt. Hurt for the other man standing on the opposite side.

“Papa, I missed you! OMG, did you color your hair again? I don’t see any brown anymore, I love the brown, papa, why did you change it? Oh and I -”

“David, let your father have some room to breathe, please. Go put on some shoes and bring your jacket, it’s cold out.”

The 9 year old turned towards the other part of the parental couple. The deep brown in his eyes filled with such an invigorating energy. The color was something he inherited from Robbe. The lack of stopping the chaos in his head? That was such a Sander move. David truly was a piece of both. Even though, he wasn’t truly born out of either of them, he simply belonged here.

“But, paps, I don’t want to wear my own jacket!”

“What are you going to wear then?”

“Papa’s leather jacket!” he exclaimed, like it just was as easy as one plus one. The long blonde curls bouncing off his head, while he pulled at the arm of Sander’s coat. The beach blonde couldn’t help, but laugh fondly at his son’s statement. He really loved the boy like nobody else. Well, there may be a time, where he loved someone just as much.

Gosh, Robbe, don’t think about that.

“It’s okay, Robbe,” Sander directed the flashy smile towards him, knowing all too well he couldn’t say no to the both of them if they banded together. “We’re just going to the movies anyways. The new cartoon movie is perfect for our tiny artist. Isn’t it?” A excited squeal filled the cold air between them. Apparently, he had touched David on a ticklish spot, trying to make him giggle.

Robbe couldn’t help, but feel the sting. The picture before his eyes made his heartache complete. Sander laughing along with their beautiful son, the beach blonde complementing the blond, energy matching tones, he even saw how David was starting to copy Sander’s mannerisms more and more. Reminding him, every day, of the mistake he once made.

The follow-up question made the atmosphere even more loaded. “How’s Wouter? I didn’t see his car in the driveway? I thought he wasn’t working today?”, was asked. Ah, there it was. Another cut in his heart. Exactly the question he was trying to avoid. Another crossed line through his life. Something he didn’t intended to share with his ex. Not completely, at least.

“He hasn’t been around much, lately.”, he simply stated. Knowing that Sander would probably connect the dots later, he’d rather not discuss this in front of their son. It was difficult enough to maintain relationships in these situations. Especially when you were still friends with the other dad. They needed to be. Their son didn’t ask for this, he deserved to have a strong, loving family.

Something they’d made clear from the day they signed the divorce documents.

It only took a half an hour to get David ready, which was a record in Robbe’s book. After searching the entire room for his son’s shoes and the kitchen cabinets for his backpack (don’t ask, it’ll be easier if you. just. didn’t. ask), he was finally able to hand over the week-bag, the dreaded jacket and wave them goodbye. A huge piercing smile on their little one’s face. And...

A loaded glance.

An electrified touch.

A last cheek kiss.

Before he slumped down against the back of the door.

-^-

It didn’t start out this way, you know. They were happy before. Before all the things that led up to this moment.

Wait, I’m jumping ahead.

Let me tell you a story. The story of a beautiful love shared between two boys. Boys who loved like they never loved before. They found each other, they lost each other and found each other again. Push and pull. To say that their love was a rollercoaster? That’s an understatement. It made them only stronger in the future.

Until, it didn’t.

In the week of Robbe’s 20th birthday, they decided to move into their own apartment. It was a tiny studio at the edge of the city centre. Just enough for the both of them. Their living room was filled by their bed, tossed clothes and a ratty couch, the kitchen was tiny enough to only fit a midget size refrigerator, a second-hand stove and one kitchen counter. That they didn’t use anyways. Except... for... stuff. You know.

But it was perfect.

The best time of their lives.

When Robbe came home every day after class - his last year of IT & Webdesign - he could wrap his arms around his lover, who smelled of paint, citrus and himself. Kissing Sander was like being born again. Giving him goosebumps each time. No other feeling was as fierce. This bliss, this happiness. Making love to him, was heaven on earth. Nothing could compare. Nothing ever did.

Sander was struggling to get by on an artist paycheck. He only sold one of his pieces to art collectors every other month. His talents weren’t always appreciated like they should’ve been. But he kept trying. Through his highs as well as his lows, he never gave up his two passions: his art and David Bowie. He once even made an entire collection of Bowie portraits.

Which would later caught the eye of a notorious gallery owner, asking him to join the alternative artist collective he was setting up. Filled with musicians, writers, painters. Sander’s people. But that would take at least a couple of more years of struggling. Of cheap dinners and scraping by on one paycheck. Until the year of David’s sixth birthday.

When Robbe made the mistake.

To say that their lives was perfect, was an huge overstatement though. Sander’s medication wasn’t always working like it needed to be, living together wasn’t quite the same as staying with their parents and Robbe’s studies took a lot out of him. And then came the day that Jens knocked on their door. With a statement that chilled their bones to the core.

“Noor’s dead.”

Shock.

Denial.

Sadness.

Such a beautiful soul that was lost. Never roaming the earth again. Never again her special artistic cooking, the scoffing if someone said something she considered dumb. Late night jamming sessions, wine spills on new couches, burning protests at parliaments, all saying ‘f-u society, I’m not your bitch’? All gone. The light that made all of their laughs a little brighter, was no more.

And their lives would never again be the same.

These emotions followed rapidly by anger. Because apparently, it was a drunk driver that had hit her car on the way home. On the way home to her family. A tight little group that’d only consisted of a proud surrogate uncle/roommate Jens and a small child, barely a year old. The latter one was a small detail that she’d left out of her stories of backpacking in the US of A. Something that Jens didn’t mention during the wild parties, set up by Moyo in his underground club.

The small child was already fatherless, but now he didn’t have a mom either. He had nobody to care for him. Jens had put every single cent into his new start-up in New York and was in the process of moving there. Trying to set up a different life. Possibly meeting up with Jana again. Before all of this had happened, of course. Because who could’ve know?

So the boys didn’t have any other choice.

From the moment both had seen the little, bubbly baby in his basket, crying out for his mom, they’d knew. The boy had nestled in their hearts. The sorrow was a little less harsh, when you could look into the eyes of someone so pure. Noor’s son needed them. It was what Robbe owed her. For her unconditional love. After all, she had been his voice of reason, his shoulder to cry on - even through international phone calls - when it all was too much. The harshness of life.

The Sobbe relationship rollercoaster.

So arrangements were made. A graduate job secured. A family-backed loan for a small house was asked. And the adoption process had started. It only took them a year, due to Aaron’s social work contacts, before they could call David theirs. David Ijzermans-Driesen. The only one that could call them ‘papa’ and ‘paps’. The most precious boy in the entire universe. And any other universe, for that matter. In every parallel one.

A perfect, tight little family. But happy.

Until one unfortunate day in May, in the year that David turned six.

-^-

“Schat, don’t be so nervous. It’s me who’s supposed to be nervous, right?”

Sander eyes twinkled with mischief. He was dragging Robbe along to the dress rehearsal for their ‘happening’. Yes, a happening. Like the ones in the times of hippie communes. Those kind of artsy fartsy things. The brown haired boy didn’t know what it had meant entirely, but whatever Sander was into, he couldn’t help but show it to his partner.

To be completely honest, their relationship was strained these last few months. Robbe was more tired than anything else. Their son had started his first year of primary school, so this meant that evenings were filled with encouraging to practice reading and writing, guiding through homework and all the while trying to understand the problems that had manifested into his web code. His plate was filled with more work than ever before.

He wouldn’t really blame Sander, though, since this was the first time he finally caught a break in the artistic world. Yet, unconsciously, he had counted the days that they didn’t touch each other. And they were a lot. At least, for a couple that’d got married only a year ago. They were supposed to be in their blissful period of marriage, filled with the constant desire to touch each other at any time at any place.

And that wasn’t the case.

So when he caught sight of a certain man, someone who wasn’t his husband, his heart had skipped a slight beat. His hands were starting to get clammy, his voice caught in his throat and he didn’t know how to breath anymore. Robbe didn’t remember the last time this had happened with Sander. So, his immediate next thought, was shame and disgust.

For what he felt right now.

Yet, he couldn’t seem to look away. All during the dress rehearsal, his eyes were following the beautiful man who played along with his guitar in the background. His eyes were stars of stark blue, covered by a mop of light curls. The combination of these, together with a timid, yet mysterious air around him, immediately reeled him in. Worst part? He seemed to know Robbe was staring at him. Before he exited the area, he even turned back to wink at him.

Sander, of course, didn’t caught his boy’s entire thought process that followed. He was still going on about the dynamics of the entire art installation. Even introducing his other half to a few new friends he’d made. A Spanish girl with colorful hair, a German boy with a too-cool-for-you gaze and pair of Italian guys with soft smiles. Their energy all flowed through one another, like single organism. Like they were all part of something better.

Robbe could understand why Sander was attracted to these kind of people. He however, still wanted the ask the question that lingered in the back of his mind. Who had been the beautiful model that gave him a wink? Was he still here? Did he expect something of him? He couldn’t do anything to someone else than Sander. Right? Right. It was wrong, with the capital W. So he let it be.

At least, that what’s he thought.

All through the happenings, the same feelings manifested. His eyes pulled towards the mysterious guy, instead of what his own husband was doing. While he heard the gasps of the audience around him, he gasped at the intense stare. While the people were urging closer to see what was happening, he’d fill his mind with thoughts about what he would do with the man before him.

Laying him down on the floor.

Touching him.

Kissing him.

Making his way with him.

Sander seemed to know Robbe wasn’t really raving about the entire art thing, so he never asked why his eyes glanced over every time he brought up the performances. He seemed to wait patiently for his lover to talk about his thoughts. What seemed to bother him. But, that was the thing: he didn’t. Robbe didn’t say a word. He just... stared. Longingly.

At someone else.

On the fourth week of mutual silence, Sander spiraled. His words were reeling with pain, with agony. They still didn’t know what caused an bipolar episode. They both wished they did, though, this time even more. Because it was a really, really bad one. Never before had Sander called him names. Never before did he make Robbe cry with desperation. He didn’t even let him touch him. Sander had said about himself, that he was a waste of space, so why would Robbe even bother about loving him? Why would their son ever love him? He was broken.

And Robbe let his tears fall.

He blamed himself. Because of the thoughts he had about the unknown man. He deserved this. A loveless touch, a hollow kiss, a silenced dagger thrown at his heart. He had felt something for someone else, he deserved so much worse. This was just tip of the ice-berg. It’s what he manifested. What he cooked up in his own thoughts, that made Sander hate him. Robbe knew it was all his fault.

His rational mind knew that these feelings were ridiculous though. Sander wasn’t his MI. His lover always saw the best in him, it was just the chemicals in his brain that sometimes fought with each other. And that, was maybe even worse. Knowing that Sander would always love him, no matter what, even when his episode was at his lowest, while Robbe was looking at someone else?

It broke him.

His fault.

Toxic.

For feeling the wrong things towards the wrong guy.

Sander saw it happening. After the episode, when he climbed out of the canyon of hurt, he still tried to pull his lover out of his own spiral. He touched his cluttered mind, wanted to break through the newly built walls and screamed out in frustration to shock him. But Robbe slowly became more silent. He reverted back to his older self, his younger, less pronounced ‘me’. The one who was insecure about every step he took. About every thing he did. About their love.

And that’s when he broke them.

Fights were more the norm in their household than lovemaking. David kept running towards either of them asking if they were angry at each other. To stop crying. To stop shouting. To stop hurting each other. He wanted papa and paps to be happy again. He wanted to kiss all the boo-boos away, making their hearts hurt even more.

So, after a bunch of whispered discussions, a few stints at a crappy couples counselor - some smuck that didn’t even remember their names - and a few months of loaded silence, they knew. This wasn’t healthy anymore. Sander gave and gave and gave, while Robbe ran. He ran away from the love. They knew it had to stop. It was healthier this way. To catch a break. To breathe.

A breath that was stolen only one time more. Their lips connected, the tears flowed, their bodies felt the hurt between them, even though they were making love. For the last time. Pieces of heart exchanged, never truly whole again. Grasping at the air surrounding them. Emerald eyes lingering into brown. The touch of heaven. Never again. All over. Discarded.

Making the biggest mistake in both their lives:

They split up.

-^-

“Don’t forget, Robbe”

“I won’t.”

“I’m serious”

“I know.”

“David won’t stop babbling on about this.”

“Yes, Sander, he’s my son too. I know this already!”

“...”

“Sorry...”

“... It’s okay.”

Robbe sighed, fidgeting with the cellphone in his hand. A headache was starting to build up behind his eyes. Why did Sander call him again? Like he didn’t know about the biggest event of the school year approaching? The school’s annual show was on Saterday, open to every parent interested in sending their kids to the school as well as the parents of attending children.

“He just wants us to be there. Maybe we could invite the rest of the boys?”

“I’ll ask them. I don’t know if Jens will get a babysitter on such short notice, though. Jana is pretty busy with her job as a lawyer, you know that.”

“Come on, try to convince them to come. Maybe Amber can babysit the kids. It’s been a while since David has seen his uncles!”

Robbe thought long and hard about this statement. It had been a while since he saw his best friends. Nowadays, their lives were filled with juggling their family lives, responsibilities at work while maintaining a healthy lifestyle with their respective partners. Not that he didn’t know how difficult it could be sometimes.

Only recently, he’d acquired the new lecturing job at the IT departement, making way more pay and significantly better hours, so he could focus his time on David. Robbe really liked this job though. Educating other young people in the world of digits and numbers, something that always made sense even if your life was insecure. Exactly why he studied IT in the first place.

“Robbe, are you there?”, Sander voice whispered soothingly. Like only an ex-lover could feel, he somehow knew every thought that passed through Robbe’s brain. “You know, you don’t have to invite them if you don’t want to. I’m sure we’ll be fine just the three of us. David will be proud to show us his performance nonetheless. He’s been raving about his Bowie song, since they made the announcement.”

“The three of us?”

“Yeah, you, me and Wouter right?”

“Ah. Yes.”

“You know, your boyfriend?”, the voice chuckled.

Since a month ago, Robbe’s free weeks were filled with unhealthy habits again. Pigging out on junk food, vegetating on the couch, binging Netflix shows. Only, his friends or Sander didn’t need to know about this. David barely met his ex-boyfriend, thank god. They didn’t need to know about the nasty fights that happened between him and Wouter.

About the black eyes, cuts and bruises.

The disgusting words.

The break-up...

But yeah,

Robbe deserved all of it anyways.

“Robbe...”, he heard the other whisper.

“You do know I don’t have a problem with him, right? I mean, it’s been ages since the two of us were ever together. You deserve a healthy love-life. Someone to call yours. Someone who loves you. You deserve someone who gives you the world. I don’t like you being alone. I want to see you happy...”

He didn’t knew why Sander said stuff like that to him. He didn’t deserve it, because all he brought upon his lovers was worry and anger. Everything he touched, would slowly turn more and more toxic. During their teenage years, Sander had said something similar to him. Right after an episode. And he didn’t believe it. He never will. Since it was him that made everything worse.

Not Sander. Not Wouter. Not any of his other previous flings.

Him.

“You know what I think about that, Sander.”

“Robbe...”

“I’ll ask the boys, okay?”

“But Robbe, I-”

“Give David a kiss for me!”

He quickly disconnected the line.

Before Sander could say something back.

He simply didn’t want to know.

Focussing his thoughts on anything else, pulling out a vague sketch their son had made. Apparently the drawing class was paying off. He’d made the outline of a tree, standing lonely in a grove. The environment around it was completely bare. No grass. Yet, at the outlines you could still see the branches of other trees. Something felt off.

Robbe shook his head. He was probably projecting his own feelings onto the drawing. It was just a grove of trees, for god’s sake. An amazing technique. Some intense colors. That truly made the sketch vibrate. Their tiny boy was filled with lots of surprises. You see, both parents still didn’t know what song he’d picked to sing for them Saturday. “Something special”, David said with a glint in his eyes, before packing his bag for his stay at Sander’s.

The co-parenting system was a bitch as well as a blessing. He’d love to see his boy more than every other week, but some ‘me-time’ wasn’t bad either. Having this free time for himself was a privilege. Time to sort out stuff in the house, work ahead for the school year or take relaxing baths. Maybe go to a bar and hook up with someone, without having a hyperactive kid bursting in.

Not that he felt up for that right now.

But he truly was happy with the 9 year old. Every moment with him was an extra day of unconditional love. A love that was consistent. A gift that kept on giving. A reflection of a beautiful soul lost. But also a mirror for Sander and him.

He was happy.

Or at least, he thought he was.

(But he wasn’t)

#wtfock #wtfam #skambingo #skamevents #part 1 of 4 #tumblr keeps yeeting my stuff

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