#omoni gets personal

[tara-l-blackmore]

Words

I've struggled with putting this anywhere. I started writing it in emails, on Twitter, on DeviantArt, even on Dreamwidth. I've stopped each time. I'm pretty sure this won't even go up, but let's see.

I'm having a lot of trouble dealing with people, right now. I'm lonely, and miserable, and yearning for friendship, but I cannot handle it. I cannot handle dealing with people, no matter how close I am to them. This includes – yes – people I consider to be family. This includes by family, even. I have lost contact with dozens of people that I’ve sworn never to lose contact with – or they have chosen to lose contact with me – and it's starting to… affect me.

All I’ve been able to do is write. I can't talk. Or if I do try to talk, I fuck it up. I have no been open with how I’ve been feeling, what I’ve been going through, and why I've avoided people I don't want to avoid. I don't want to talk about myself, so when I talk to people, once they ask about me, I end the convo or change the subject. I can't take it. I don't want to fucking talk about it.

But here we are. You're reading this, clearly, because you want to know what's wrong with me, for whatever fucking reason. Fine you want to know? Read on. If you don't? Stop reading and please stop asking me. I want to make this clear that I’ve kept this shit to myself because nobody cares about problems like I have. I think. If you're reading this, you're not nobody. Whatever, anyway.

My pain started getting worse two years ago, so I had my gallbladder removed. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I should not have done it. Because now, I’m worse off.

Since 2017, my health has been progressing into worse and worse problems, to the point that medications no longer work on me, save high doses of morphine. I'm not allowed to be on morphine, anymore, save dire emergencies in the ER (it's the only thing that stops the flare up). During these pain flare-ups, I want to die. I can't deal. I can't even think. All I can do is lie on the couch and cry, zoning out on YouTube. It's especially gotten worse since I quit smoking, but not enough to start, again.

The night I missed my niece being born, I broke. I lost it. I lost my patience with this illness of mine. I ended up missing one of the most important moments of her life, spending it in a hospital two hours away, being ignored and mistreated and mocked – and then ignored. It severed something mentally.

Since then, I haven't been okay.

I've ruined my own birthday, twice; the day of was spent sobbing over vaccinations. The day of the party was spent in misery, because the party had nothing to do with me – I was being used as a ruse to make it about Ellie – and when I left, the party went on without me – what I thought was the entire idea, that I'd been used for these reasons. And to be honest, I still don't know what happened after I left, because no one told me. No one thought to. No one cared enough to, it felt to me.

I started drifting more and more away, only now by people I speak to online, either through chat or phone calls. I stopped being able to deal with talking to people one-on-one, because emails gave me time to think about what I had to say, instead of speaking on the fly and hurting people. Only it still didn't work.

My depression was also getting worse. I needed more and more attention, more reassurance, in a world that is more and more making me feel adrift and left behind. When I was able to catch up, I merely discovered how much I kept missing, how happy people are without me around their ankle. I realised how many people I’ve been holding back for years, and it almost killed me.

I tried to explain it to those people I ignored, tried to explain that I’m broken, I’ll never be what they deserve or need, and that they need to walk lest I keep fucking them up further. I tried, but whatever I said was overlooked because I was a good person before now. I keep trying to explain that I’m not a good person, anymore, because the pain is making me insane, and I don't know how to deal with people, anymore, but… nobody's listening to me…

So this is my last try. This is what I should have said when any of you started to be my friends. Look at the people who've already walked, and you'll notice that I’m the common bad variable, and nothing else. I know that many of you want me to hang around because of what I was once like. And honestly, I miss what I was like back then, too.

But then, June 2017. It was the start of the end. The injections. The dozens and dozens of ER tests and humiliation and abuse. The money and ignorance of the hospital staffs (when told what to do to help and how fast it would help me if they just did it). People online, people offline, seeing me disabled and seeing a brat.

Over the past four years, I’ve been a part of the Undertale fandom, a game that saved my life and a fandom that kept me living, and I met so many of you, cared about so many of you – but somehow shoved you all away. The more you cared, the more I ran away.

Why? Because I deserve to be alone.

I've said this, many times, in different ways, but I’m told I’m wrong, when I’m right, and it hurts. So I stopped talking. I made it obvious that I’m not worth your time.

Because I didn't want to explain what was going on.

My medications aren't working, anymore, so they keep switching them. Now, they're switching my antidepressant, and it's… bad. It's very bad. I have to taper off my current med, then start from scratch with the new one, and the decrease is making my depression stronger. I haven't been able to speak on the phone or even go out (save mandatory doctor visits), and I keep taking everything personally and crying over everything. Three times, I’ve convinced myself that Terry is going to divorce me. It's bad.

Because of it, I don't know what's up or down, what's true or false, and no matter how much I trust someone, I still feel like all I am is someone to be pitied, and I would rather never be pitied, but either loved for who I am, or hated for that same reason.

And that's because I hate myself for feeling this way. I have been secluding myself to both punish myself and prove to you all how unreliable and gross I am.

A lot of you are younger than me, and have enough to deal with. I'm also aware that a lot of you are young enough to make your own decisions, especially when it comes to people. But what I’m doing is inappropriate. The things I complain and beg advice for are not appropriate. I treat you like shrinks, forgetting your age and your own lives and problems and issues.

It makes me sick, my selfishness. And I can't fucking deal with it.

So I’ve been staying away, save angry tweets and angrier YouTube comments. The rare times I reach out usually end worse off than when I did before I reached out, so I have learned not to.

And finally, for the very last time, I must say this: I know I am immature, I am stunted, I am behind the times, and I cannot fix it. I try to, by using all of you like the scumbag I am, and not bothering to listen to you or help you. I cry my problems, then run away the second you need me.

I'm so tired of it. I can't do this to people, anymore. I've been trying to gradually disappear, save stuff that keep me sane (fanfic and comics), and while many of you keep me sane, I’m tired of using you that way, too.

I know this is me mind-reading, as many of you will say. But, I’m sorry, this isn't that at all. This is me paying attention to what is being said and shown to me, and now, I get it.

Please, please, please stop insisting this isn't so. The fact that every time I mention it, it's left ignored, and often shamefully so, and that angers me. I pour my heart out, explain, answer the questions I’m being asked but it's ignored, only so that I can be asked for help that I just finished screaming myself raw that I can't help anyone the way I am, anymore.

My brain refuses to listen to kindness, anymore. It refuses to accept that anyone wants to bother with me, because on one hand, I’ve been given shameful proof that I’m absolutely right in my sad assessment. But on the other, I’m aware that a few of you are sincere, and do mean what you said.

But I can't tell the difference. I need help. I need real help, a kind that I need before I can even dream of being a good friend or a kind person to any of you. I can be nice, be complimentary, be honest in my affection and happy feelings for you, and all is sincere. But I have deep difficulty believing the same from you, to me, because of my pain and my depression. I know many of you with depression understand.

But why don't you give up on me…? Why can't you see that I’m right, that I don't blame you for giving up on me, because all I’ve been is a disgusting person, even at my most well-meaning.

I don't even know why I’m bothering posting this, here. I don't know why I’m posting it. I just think it's time to put words to feelings I couldn't put words to, before now.

I'm not trying to be friendless. But I’m trying to be worthy of friends. So far, I cannot see myself there, yet. So many of you have a real life to live, true futures within your grasps; what the hell are you doing still talking to some middle-aged pathetic loser and wasting your time on the internet that way? There are better places to visit on the internet than any place to do with me, personally.

I get wanting to want to read my bullshit stuff. I'm flattered. But no, you don't need to be my friends, no matter how pathetic or lonely I am. That's my problem, not yours. You are all young, and happy, and have your own hurdles to overcome. I write that stuff to provide an escape for you and for me. That's all that you need to know about me, really.

I'm not saying that you cannot be my friend anymore. I'm not saying you're not allowed to speak to me. I am saying that it might take me time to answer, or to do what you asked of me, etc. I am saying that thanks to my increasing mental illness, I am no longer a good person to be around, at least until the problem is rectified.

I actually don't know what I’m saying, honestly. I don't want to be alone, but I’m tired of bothering people who do. I don't like spending my days alone, but I don't want to harass people with better things to do. I'm tired of being what no one wants and tired of being unwanted once people discover the real me.

I'm a garbage person. I hate myself.

And you deserve not to have that in your life.

That's all.

I'm sorry.

#omoni gets personal #health #trigger warning: depression #trigger warning: suicidal ideation #trigger warning: chronic pain #trigger warning: self-hatred #i'm an asshole #i hate myself #please hate me too

[vanilla-sky01]

Destiny Intervenes

Masterlist

Chapter 5

Warning : dubious consent

You were struggling to fall asleep as your stomach grumbled in hunger but the buzz of your vibrating phone was the one that made you give up sleep and sit up.

You were surprised to see the caller ID and hesitated for a second before attending the call.

"Omoni, is everything OK?" Trying to keep your voice casual.

"Mira, I have been trying to reach Jungkook for sometime. Is he with you?" the panic in the voice made any sign of sleep and tiredness leave you immediately.

"Oh. Let me see if he outside, omoni. Is anything wrong?" Even though the smart side of you told you to stay away from anything involving his family, you found yourself being concerned.

Jungkook was nowhere to be found in the house.

"Omoni, Jungkook is not home. Maybe he went out for a walk or something. Please tell me what's wrong."

"It's his brother, Mira. Hyorin called me now . She is worried about Jungkook s brother. He seems to be in some sort of financial trouble and it seems he went to meet the person who had loaned him money to ask for more time but he hasn't returned and he is not answering his phone. She is very worried," your mother-in-law s voice trembled in fear.

You thought quickly.

"Does she know where he went, omoni?"

"Some pub called The comet. Please Mira. Help me find Jungkook. He will know what to do," you could hear the sobs escape as the mother feared for the safety of her first born.

"Omoni, give me five minutes. I will call you again," you consoled the woman and without wastj g time you cut the call to make another outgoing call to the last person you hoped to talk to.

"Oh my god. Look who finally found the courage to call me. Mira darling, at this time of the night, isn't it inappropriate to call your ex? What will your husband think? Hmm?" Jason Lee s voice mocked you.

"Jason, we can do this another time. Please I need your help now," you snapped.

Jason and you had been friends for a long time and he knew you well enough to know when not to play games.

He was quiet for sometime before you heard a loud sigh.

"My parents will diswon me if they know I am even talking to you. I don't know why I haven't blocked your number yet. ... tell me.." he conceded

"You know that pub your friend Krish Wu owns? I need you to get someone out of there safely."

"Not much good happens in that place. You should have warned your friend to stay away from there," he answered, assuming you wanted to get some female friend of yours to safety.

"It's.. its not a friend. Its my brother in law. I think he is in trouble. Please... just this once, Jason. For old times sake," you pleaded.

"OK. But you owe me for this. Also why are you getting involved in this. I am sure your husband is more than capable of getting this done , what with his newly earned world class star status," he mocked you again

"Seriosuly, Jason? You want to ridicule me now? Just do it and let me know how to solve this problem for good. I will wait for your call."

You didn't have to wait for long.

You knew that your ex fiance was someone who always delivered on what he promised and he didn't disappoint you.

He managed to get your brotherinlaw out of the place unharmed and also managed to get a deal out of the loan sharks who were behind your brother in law.

By the time you went to sleep, you had managed to eat the entire tub of ice cream in Jungkook s fridge and pay off the loan shark and legally getting your brother in law out of their hold.

The immense gratitude and praise that your in laws showed you after seeing their eldest son safe brought a smile on your face till your mother in law started praising Jungkook for choosing a great girl like you.

Your frown returned to your face and you managed to bid them bye and get to bed.

You woke pretty late next day and as you went into the kitchen to get something to eat, you stalled at the sight of Jungkook sitting and having his lunch by the looks of it at the dining table.

You almost turned around not wanting another round of confrontation regarding how much rights you had with respect to his family when you heard, "Thanks."

You paused in your track and wondered if you had merely imagined the sound when you heard Jungkook say it again.

"For yesterday. Thanks."

You turned around and took a step tentatively towards the kitchen.

"I am really sorry for everything. I ...I just want to pay you back for all the trouble I have caused you in any way I can... " you said not wanting to disturb the temporary peace in the room as you walked past him into the kitchen.

Jungkook didn't show any emotion to your attempt at an explanation.

"But stay out of my family next time. Manager hyung will wire you the money today," he said in an expressionless voice.

"Got it," you replied as you rummaged through the shelves and found a box of cereals.

As the limousine approached the venue, you felt your hands get clammy with your stomach threatening to empty itself any minute.

This was going to be your first appearance with Jungkook as a couple and the line of limousines waiting to drop off celebrities as they got photographed by what looked like hundred of cameras bought no solace to your already anxious self.

You weren't exactly new to being photographed per say but to appear as a couple and know that millions of fans out there were going to tear you apart for every gesture , feature and breath of yours was terrifying.

Noone would be good enough for their perfect Jungkook.

Your husband sat across from your perfectly poised and unrealistically handsome in his suit.

You both had been tutored multiple times on the best ways to pose for the cameras ad even while practising under the critical eyes of his publicists, he was cool and composed and completely professional.

Ofcourse he was cool, you told yourself he has probably done with hundreds of models and fans and you were not even one of those.

When it was your turn, Jungkook got out first before charmingly turning around and taking your hand , helping you out of the car.

Camera flashes blinded you for a few minutes and if not for your husband s guiding hands you would have been completely lost.

The custom made Valentino Haute couture white gown was supposed to make you innocent and sensuous at the same time while your husband look dapper and handsome beside you.

Jungkook placed a hand gently on your lower back and guided you to the podium.

You both could have fooled anybody for the next few minutes as you took turns posing for the cameras on all sides.

Jungkook even turned and said something to you and smiled which completely caught you by surprise as you looked up at your husband with a dazed look.

Once inside the arena, you nothing went seperate ways as you sat with the other guests and Jungkook went to join his members.

The online forums, fancafes had a field day with the pictures of you both that days and the next couple of days with a vast majority finding the picture of you looking stunned at your husband as he smiled down at you very romantic.

Once again, as soon as the award function was over you returned back to your home country, back to work.

You were involved in charities that helped make the thousands of immigrants life safer and easier by helping them get jobs and admissions in schools and colleges.

Your friends pitched in and you were often involved in organising balls and fundraisers with them.

You hoped in your small way, you could use your famous family name and influence to improve the life of the people who needed help.

You shuttled between Korea and your own place as soon enough you found worthy causes to throw yourself into in Korea as well.

Though you stayed in Jungkook s apartment, there was a clean demarcation of what you could do and couldn't.

Jungkook read the article as waited for his members to get ready for their New Year s Eve concert.

As he finished reading, Jungkook realised that things wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.

Except for not having the house to himself, Mira never bothered him. Infact, of late he found that his parents and even his own dog, Bam seemed to prefer her over him and though initially it had irked him, now he found the silent company comforting.

The concert hall was completely full and the members were one again overwhelmed with the amount of love they garnered during their every performance.

But after every performance came the withdrawal symptoms that came with the quiet and loneliness they felt after the event.

Going back to an empty house, eating alone , backbreaking hardwork and practise all pays off during their performance but once that was done, they were left scrambling to find out who they really were off stage.

Welcoming the New Year with fans, it was almost 2a.m. by the time Jungkook reached home.

Jungkook was surprised to see Mira in the house. He knew she had been busy preparing for the audition but he had thought that she would jet off to her country to welcome the New Year with her friends and family.

It seemed like he wasn't the only one surprised as you too were quiet startled to see your husband home.

You thought that surely the world famous kpop star had a better place to ring in the New Year with instead of being alone at home.

Jungkook plopped himself exhausted on the sofa. You were watching a fluffy romcom on TV with wine and strawberries for company and you certainly wasn't expecting your husband to show in any interest.

He sat there quietly watching your movie before grabbing the entire bottle of wine and guzzling it down.

"Are you OK?"

You really didn't want to start anything on the very first day of the year but you couldn't help yourself. Jungkook looked pathetic, still very handsome, but very sad and lonely.

He hummed in response as he bent down to grab a few of your strawberries.

You turned your attention back to your movie and soon enough it came to an end with the leads doing a sappy love confession and make out session.

As you turned off the TV and got up to clean the table and leave, you felt Jungkook grab your hand below your elbow.

"Stay," was all he slurred.

Your eyes met his doe eyes pleading you not to leave.

"Please..." he drawled.

You heart clenched as he slowly pulled you down near him. Unable to take your eyes off him, you were thrown off by the musky scent of him at such close proximity.

Maybe it was the wine or maybe it was the movie, but when Jungkook couldn't take his eyes off Mira s perfectly plump lips.

It was nothing at first.

Just a ghost of his breath on your face.

There was barely any room between you two.

You closed your eyes as Jungkook s upper lips fell between yours and his tongue gently ghosted on your lower lips.

The thought of protesting didn't even occur to you.

The kiss was light and full of questions and doubts. There was desperation there. A plea for more.

Slowly you bought your hands to his face and opened your lips to let him in.

Jungkook s movement grew frantic as he pulled you closer to himself, pressing you against him.

He tore his mouth away from your lips and moved to your throat, his hands moving down and under your t-shirt.

Suddenly your brain was flooded with words he had thrown at you in this very living room. You knew that if you went through with this, you would be only one to blame even though you were both drunk with wine and emotions.

Jungkook felt you freeze under him and clenched his jaws as he pulled away from you.

"You told me you were sorry. You told me you would do anything to make up for it..." he growled accusingly.

Your eyes widened in horror as you realised what he was asking of you.

"This is how you want me to show you how sorry I am?"you asked shakingly.

"What if I said yes?" He challenged back.

You wanted to be horrified. You wanted to protest hut you instead found yourself accepting his challenge.

You slowly reached down and pulled your t-shirt over your head.

Jungkook waited for a second as his eyes roamed your face looking for any sign that you were against what was about to happen and all he saw was resignation.

He wasn't in the mood to over analyse your feelings. He wanted to stop feeling the pain of loneliness.

The intoxicating taste of wine and strawberries greeted him as he latched on to your mouth and his hands grabbed your waist and pushed you down as he hovered above you.

Despite the conflicting emotions running through both your minds, the hormones played their part in the consummation of your marriage mere months after Jungkook s declaration that you were never going to be his wife inspite of what the marriage certificate bearing both your names said.

Gifs are not mine. Credit to the creator.

@mwitsmejk

Thanks a lot for asking to be tagged.

#bts #bts fanfic #kpop #bts angst #bts arranged marriage au #bts forced marriage #bts jungkook #angst #jungkook arranged marriage #jungkook x oc

[loniereads]

cr: Sufficiently Advanced Magic

*spoiler warning*

Chapter 1 - 5

Chapter one

“I was prepared in a thousand different ways that didn’t matter” - Me for every test I’ve ever taken ☺️✨✨

Omg is he gonna go look for his brother 🥺 This book said found family but make it literal - side note, love the name Tristan.

I hope it’s explained as to WHY hundreds of 17 year olds are enduring a judgment to their possible death????

Imagine you’re brother going basically missing, your mom leaving, and then your dad pulling you out of school so you can prepare to possibly ✨die✨

“It could take years to grow strong enough-” 🥺 He’s going to sacrifice years of his life and risk certain death just for a chance to reunite his family is this book gonna make me cry?

I don’t like his name as much as I like his brothers but yanno whatever- how do you even say Corin

I already hate the dad??? Hello? Your first son is gone and your second could follow in his fate and you don’t even see him off?? Fuck you buddy why are book dads such assholes

“I loathed hurting people. I always had.” so i have decided that if anything happens to Corin I will kill everyone in the room and then myself. WHAT A CUTIE SWEET SOUL

If this book forces him to hurt someone I’ll riot-

Oh my gosh he hates fighting but he’s willing to fight for his brother I LOVE HEALTHY BROTHER RELATIONSHIPS they’re so pure

Corin is so nice to try to explain all of this weapon stuff and rune stuff to me like I have any idea wtf he’s talking about- he’s talking and I’m like I’m just happy to be here ☺️

I feel like the fact that he’s paying for everything he takes is important- like maybe other people just take and don’t leave anything? But he’s like here’s a coin for you scary tower~

“It was too cute to die” why do I love Corin so

What a cute ass sweet ass cinnamon roll, my god🥺

HE FELT GUILTY FOR KILLING A SHADOW SNDKDNSK I love him sm what a king

Chapter two

Why does everything he say sound so intelligent

ldmoaha not Corin having a convo with a book

It’s been too long since I read a normal romance book why did my brain just decide to ship Corin and a BOOK

Ok but him taking time to ask about his brother has me so soft

What the flip chapter 2 was so short??? ):

Chapter three

“You shouldn’t have done that” how ominous and amazing and I love it

He so casually was like OH LOOK A DEAD BODY OH LOOKIE PEOPLE

Omg is he gonna find his brother in here- OH MY

OMG HE DID AHHHHH

just... kidding. He did infact not find him.

Oh wait someone younger than him though- so is going into the tower a choice? That would make it a little better. Like you decide when you go in or? I NEED MORE INFO PLS

The word resh is growing on me

He risked his gold key on her 🥺

I love this little merry band of criminals- also just hoping the kid doesn’t yanno....die

omg Keras is out here crushing stones with his bare hands 😏 hellooooo

Wait I’m so conflicted??? I want to trust Keras and Vera but I also want to trust the book alsnsish

Vera is a whole mood I really hope she’s not like evil or just a weird thing in the tower or idk whatever I want her to stay

AWWAIT ☹️☹️☹️ They left Keras behind- that can’t be it. He’s gotta come back right? Like book person is gonna save him? Right!!??

Chapter four

VERA SUCH A BADDDDIE

This ‘kid’ they’re carrying is just making out like a bandit, he’s just getting carried through the tower 😂

WOW FUCK YOU VERA??? UH I HOPE SOMETHING KILLS HER-but not rhe kid 😔

Okay this might be a weird jump- but WHAT IF THE BOOK ENTITY ISSSSS HIS BROTHER??????????? Like the book person seems to really care if Corin lives? so it’s either just like a really caring person, OR HIS BROTHER

Pls let me be right

That would be so cool

The book entity helped him to finish the rest completely? Is this allowed? This feels not allowed

Corin: fighting monsters with criminals in a magical tower, very time sensitive needs to escape quickly

Also Corin: lemme just wrote a little diary entry ✨☺️

So obviously he’s going to get to keep his memories

Also like he got out of the tower so easily? What?

“And don’t let anyone hassle you about your attunement.” HOW VERY OMONIOUS OF YOU TO SAY

Honestly- Fuck Magnus Cadence

REPLACEMENT? What?

His childhood bestfriend is his half sister? I love that???? Instead of making them love interests they’re half siblings that’s cool as hell. We love childhood friends to siblings trope

I will reiterate, FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

I hope we get to see their friendship bc I’m here for this trope

Chapter five

🥺 he sent the boys glove to his parents I’m so soft

Their relationship makes me so happy?? Like I love this. So they better reunite or I’ll riot

BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE BESTTT

I miss Keras 🥺

I am so unsure of Sera. I do love the sudden sibling, and I really really hope they end up having a cool relationship and like she helps him find his(their) brother and hdjsjdjs

If anyone gives Corin a hard time for his attunement I’ll throw hands-

Not them earning points at their schools- All I can think about how is “10 points to gryffindor”

I love the word behooves

Can they go back into the tower already 💀 This down time is killing me. I want book entity, Keras and that boy who was unconscious the entire time back.

-side note, I absolutely love how all three of them(Keras, Corin, and Vera) were all so concerned with this unconscious boy and they literally carried him to complete safety. Who is this boy?? Will he come back? I miss him he better not be be dead. Vera can die but not unconscious boy.

I don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera... but she’s giving me “I’m better than you because I have a better attunement” vibes and I do not like that at all so if Icneed to I will pretend to doesn’t exist.

Aw the schools has like animal representatives decisions?? CUTE UM. - there’s way too many for my brain to keep up with but I love them anyway

Not them assigning kids to basically play pranks on everyone else and tell them if they don’t find the prankster kids they lose points- what a weird ass school

“You and Patrick were practically brothers” GIRL YOU CANT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO SOMEONE WHO HAS AN ACTUAL BROTHER WHO IS MISSING AND/OR DEAD

-Also I know Tristen isn’t dead because like then what would be the point huh? HUH? So he’s got to be alive

Or I’ll riot.

“A walking rainstorm” idk why but that is so fucking adorable. I love my new comfort raintorm, Corin.

I can’t wait for them(Corin and Sera) to meet up with their friends and they have to explain that they’re now half siblings.

Them reminding him to not lose his little sigil pin makes me feel like he’s going to lose or forget it ummmm

Imagine getting fucking EXPELLED because you forgot your pin on your other uniform.

I feel like that would be me honestly. Are people not just...forgetful in this universe??

Ngl i would hate to be in the tortoise division

Corins attunement is lamer but his division is called the Phoenix? Like that’s so much cooler than tortoise

The fact that sera is trying to convince me the Spider division isn’t real makes me feel like she’s in it???

I know my babey Corin didn’t mean this as snarky as I would have liked him to but I love this line so much.

SARCASTIC BOYS WITH DADDY ISSUES OWN ME AND IM NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT

Ngl I was hoping they would have roommates- I love a good school roommate dynamic

For the third time I would like to make my opinion to be known; FUCK MAGNUS CADENCE

Why has no one made a playlist for this book on Spotify? I am throughly disappointed

Not Corin being ghosted by his book-

I wish I had half the motivation Corin has? Like it’s my boys first day of school and as soon as he gets into his room he starts studying. I would have taken a nap

Oop jk as soon as he couldn’t find the rune he was looking for he went to lay in bed.

I’m sorry what in the hell is Wyddsday??? Did I miss them explaining to hat this universe has different names for it’s days of the week?? How am I supposed to know when this is Corin? Or what day it even is currently

World building is so intricate and interesting and I absolutely live for it- but it’s literally so frustrating sometimes learning and remembering everything

Okay Sera being less irritated about her studies being interrupted because it’s Corin is cute

Fuck

I still don’t know if I’m supposed to like Sera

Tashday, Fersday, Kyrsday, Tensday, Vasday, and Wyddsday- either I can’t count or they’re missing a day. And what order do they go in? I need a calendar insert pls and thanks

Wait wait did he just run into an ex? What is this sndlsnsin “long-buried emotions”??

Oooo we get a name. Cecily Lambert

I didn’t possibly think I could relate to Corin anymore than I already do but here I am

The dorm chiefs introduce themselves to everyone? How cute and Curtis didn’t seem at all annoyed by Corin asking so many questions I love when upperclassman in books aren’t rude for no reason. It’s such a tiring trait they often have smh

I need his exams to hurry up because I would very much like to get back to the fast paced tower scenes-

I know absolutely nothing about Jin but I love him immensely

#book commentary #if you’ve read this pls dm me ☺️ #sufficiently advanced Magic #arcane ascension #uhhhhh I’ll just edit this post whenever I have thoughts

[popculturebuffet]

Amphibia Reviews: The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers/A Day at the Aquarium

Last full episode before hiatus! The Kids have a sleepover in the castle that starts like the Princess Diaries 2 and ends in unspeakable horror, while the Plantars try to spend one final day together without getting sad. Sort of like everyone these days without the final part. One last ride under the cut. 

Whelp it’s the end for this batch of episodes which is sad, and i’ll genuinely miss covering these every week. Yeah I have other coverage incoming with Ducktales coming back, eeeee, and current Loud House coverage.. but it was still nice to have something to cover this summer and something to watch every week during this blighted year, as i’ve mentioned before there weren’t any BAD episodes just hard to cover ones and I think by the end I figured out how to do that.. mostly by stopping straight up recaps for more condensed ones. Point is I had fun, grew as a reviewer, and it was a good way to kill a few saturdays, sundays and one or two mondays, and that ain’t bad at all. So before we come back for halloween, let’s send off weekly amphibia coverage in style for now, unless it comes back in November and I look stupid, with this week. Let’s go. 

The Sleepover to End All Sleepovers

Well this one took a turn. It was also an excellent one as we got more insight into Marcy and Anne’s friendship with Sasha, and some truly excellent horror. Yes, horror.  The Plantar kids head to the castle for the evening for a Sleepover. Turns out the king finally did find something, as did Marcy who’s playing coy about what they found in the hidden library I forgot to mention last time because I was covering 4 episodes at once. Anyway King Keith David has a meeting with them tommorow. So the kids are staying with Marcie to have a fun night together while Hop Pop has a night without the kids to get something head to toe.. it’s better not to ask. They also annoy Olivia who goes off to drink.. juice. Yes the hard juice that comes with a lemon wedge and speedoed servant newt. 

It’s also our ambigously gay duo’s first sleepover without Sasha, but their confident they can do this themselves while Sprig is hoping i’tll be good as his first sleepover (And has a creepy closeup about formative memories) Cue a fun montage of everryone annoying olivia and getting into hyjinks round the castle from sillys tring, which is shot from critters, to painting moustaches. It’s fun stuff.  Then we go from fun stuff to...

As , in order to stay awake, as being the bastion of pleasantness she is Sasha refused to let them sleep till sunrise, Marcy and Anne initate a SCARE DARE! A SCARE DARE! is a scary dare where the person who dosen’t complete it goes in the book of losers. Which of course was Sasha’s idea, both in general concept and the dares done. What a well adjusted young lady!  So naturally our heroes go into the basment they were told to stay out of. They get pass Lady Olvia because she’s passed out drunk on hard lemonade, living the dream as it were. ,Anyway they.  find a bunch of tombstones, and then Marcy and Anne taking a selfie (Say desecration) wakes the dead... all because they were both playing chicken. One has to imagine how the kids talking with hop pop would go

So yeah the ghostly horror terrors chase the kids, who somehow end up in Marcy’s room. So she just has a passage from a floating graveyard contaning horrifying eldtirch ghosts to her room.. a room the king put in for her. Someone protect this child. 

So our heroes soon have to deal with the ghosts but luckily sprig’s mirror catching it reveals the mirrors, which were foreshadowed earlier by a hall of mirrors leading into the corpse room, making the ghosts solid and allowing our heroes to fight htem back. Our heroes are exausted, Marcy and Anne reveal that they also chickend out on the scare dare so it’s okay, and Oliva arrives. It’s go time.  Final Thoughts: A fun episode that quickly pivots into a great and nightmare inducing one perfect for spooky season coming up soon. I do generally wonder just WHAT those things are, and it’s great setup for whatever’s abotu to come. And while I didn’t mention it in the recap we also get sprig finding some sort of painting and it being of the king, a toad and a frog.. we don’t get to see it clearly so it could be someone else.. but.. it’s clear the king likely has ties to what happened before. But what DID happen before? what are those ghost things? what’s the king’s angle? 

Yeah I have no answers for now on what the king’s plan is, or how inocent he is or if that’s his dad, just that something’s clearly wrong. And the omonious chess metaphor told us that.. yeah I do think that bit was kind of a mistake as otherwise while we’d probably still question the king, we would be more conflicted as evidence piled up versus “yeah something’s clearly wrong. “ Then again we genuiely don’t know what his motives or plan is or how well intentioned he is or anything other than he SEEMS nice, and that said game could be a necessary evil for all we know. We just don’t have enough information, even with the ominus bits, to truly know what’s going on and what kind of villian the king is. If he is one at all the show could pull a massive swerve on us.. I mean I doubt it he probably is evil, but I wouldn’t put it past the show. For now let’s move on so I can do more wheel spinning and what not...

Day at the Aquarium

So it’s time for another audience with the king. Turns out he and Mar-mar found out a LOT. Or Marcy did at least, as the above makes clear the king may of known ALL OF THIS already, and just needed Marcy and Anne to think he didn’t long enough for his evil plans. But we do learn a LOT about the gems, the box, and what it does as well as how to fix it... 

So let’s not waste time since some of you probably don’t have episode acess this early and want to know: Turns out the calamity box is an interdimensional travel device, and, as far as the king tells us anyway, the king’s ancestors went around from world to world as explorers, possibly the group seen in the picture and just as likely the king himself hiding his role in things. Now how much of the explorer part is TRUE remains up in the air, especially since history also painted Columbus an explorer, including when I was in school, and not you know.. an idiot and a colonizing bastard. History is written by the winners after all so it’s hard to know what’s true, only that the book is likely real: While the king COULD’VE planted it to lead marcy, or had one made up, a fake would’ve been spotted immeditly as we’ve established Marcy is a master detective with batman level deductive skills. Or Elongated Man but I wanted most of you to get the refrence and his adaptation versoins so far haven’t been the kindest to ralph. Anyways, point is that con wouldn’t work on her so the book IS real, as is it’s info on the box.. i’ts just hard to tell what was left out or if this was written before utter diastaer and apocalypse insued. After all Gravity Falls Journal 3 is all fine and dandy about bill before the giant passage about bill not being trusted written in blood and Ford going into a paranoid tailspin after realizing his friend is actually a horrifing monster, literally and figuratively, so we don’t know WHAT could’ve been hidden in a nother book the king could’ve removed at any time before  Marcy got there or while she was away on a mission.  But yeah while we know there’s probably more to it this is sitll big information, the box connecting to 4 other worlds other than amphibia, which not only opens up the story possiblities but the fan fiction, and that each of the gems can be recharged at three temples, each one of the gems responding to a diffrent trait judging by the symbols, each representing our girls; Purple is strength, and thus sasha, Blue is Heart, Anne, and Green is Brains, Marcy. I do like thisd as it tells us more but only raises further questions, hooking the audience more. It’s great stuff. But our heroines now have a goal.. but unforutnately the Plantars need to go back and Anne can’t go with as Marcy wants her close. It’s harvest season soon and the Plantars have been away long enough. So they have one last day, though both marcy and the king are apologetic and the king offers them a large tissue and upon getting no response just gives it to them as next time we see them with it. it’s both a great gag, and a nice show of kindess from the king and possible diabolical mastermind. 

So the Plantars decide to spend their final day with Anne at the aquarium, as it always cheered her up. This goes south as eveyrhting from the eels to the giant kraken to the coral reminds them of their past and leaves the poor group sobbing. Even a water show goes sideways as Sprig sees an eel, but it does lead to the group fighting off the stingrays at the show in an utterly stunning fight sequence. Not the best i’ve seen this month.. but only because I binged what I missed of rise of the tmnt this month and that show’s final figh tis an utter showstopper, as are most of it’s fight, but this is easily on par with most of them. Fluid, well done and emotoinal. Our heroes get thrown out of course, but the thought counts and they decide one last throughly them memory is better than nothing.  The final scene is naturally an utter gut punch as we get tearfull goodbyes (sprig and anne forever). Their crying, i’m crying we’re all crying and Hop Pop promises they’ll see each other again. Because family always finds each other. My heart.. it’s too full. here have an apporiate song...

Let’s see how i’m doing. 

Yeah so two things: I’m not going to be able to stop sobbing thinking of this scene so let’s move on and how have I only NOW refrenced gilmore girls on this blog?

But yeah the scene is utterly moving as the Plantars leave and Marcy realises something. She likely was keeping Anne close because she just got her back... but realizes she’s being selfish. It’s not SAID on screen but it’s clear both in Hailey’s voice acting and from the animation what’s going through her head. It’s utterly captivating stuff. So she tells Anne to go with them.. offically because they should have someone they can trust keep an eye on the box, which is a good idea honestly given just giving it to a royal messenger is just asking for it to be stolen. So Marcy will stay behind and prepare, and since she mentioned it before likekly try to find Sasha as she earlier stated they HAVE to find her.. and given what we see with the recharging that’s both because she misses her friend no matter what she’s done, and because she’s vitally important, while Anne goes with the Plantars to get the box and have some more time before they say goodbye forever, with Marcy coming to wartwood to pick it and anne up for the first temple. Because nothing terrible’s ever happened when a plucky youth with a sword went to three seperate temples, especially involving a guy with a beard and full plate armor. 

Marcy stares off, sad her friend and possible crush is gone.. but unederstanding that this is what she needs, and that she can’t hold her here.. Anne needs to see her family off.. and we get a tearful reunion as Anne chases after them, passing her friends from “Scavenger Hunt”, and reunites with her family. But of course we can’t end on a happy moment, as we cut back to Marcy whose utterly sad.. and the King who says he has a proposition for her, one she’ll find most agreable. 

But yeah we end on that bit of ominus as we close till october. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah if it wasn’t obvious this was a great one. Great plot progression, great animation, great emotional hook, good jokes which I dind’t get into for time, and tons of stuff to leave fans wanting more just before the break, but without a HUGE cliffhanger. Sure we don’t know what the King’s planning, but that aside our heroes are still together outside of marcy, and we haave a lot to look forward to whenever the show gets back. I’m hyped. Your hyped. IT’s a good note to go out on, especially since last weeks eps were also excellent and it looks like things are about to pick up. When next we meet it’s an inconsequential, probably, anthology episode, though it should be fun, then whenever new episodes return, wether it be just in november or more likely in February, our heroes return to wartwood! And we’ll find out what everyone’s been up to. Hopefully Ivy didn’t leave sprig. We’ll see. Until then, you can check out this blog for more recaps, as I said i’m covering ducktales as it comes back monday and loud house whenever I can get my meat hooks on the new episodes, and until then say safe and go team venture!

#amphibia #recaps #reviews #animation #day at the aquarium #the sleepover to end all sleepovers #marcy wu #king andrais #keith david #Anne Boonchy #hop pop #hopidiah plantar #sprig plantar #polly planatar #lady olivia #disney channel #disney

[twistytwine]

Clematis Apparatus re-introduction

CA is a story of mine that takes place in a Steampunk era, in a city nicknamed Urbs de Mysterio. It’s populated by mostly middle to lower class citizens who make a living off of engineering and entertainment.

The main characters feature:

Jeremiah “Jeremy” Johnson - Before, he was a detective, but now I’ve changed him to be a musician for reasons I’ll explain later. He plays the accordion and is often seen wearing overalls and a pair of fancy glasses. He’s a single dad who takes care of his two twin sons at home with the little money he can provide for them. Jeremy’s very excitable, thoughtful, and optimistic. He’s also a daydreamer and it’s hard to get his head out of the clouds. Jeremy is 37.

Trinity Johnson - Trinity is Jeremy’s older sister. Trinity is 42 and a professional engineer. She owns a brass motorcycle, and people tend to go to her so they can pay her to fix their things. Trinity may be a bit rough around the edges, but in no way does this mean she’s mean or rude or anything of the sort. She’s learned from a tough life to keep her shields up around anybody she doesn’t fully love and trust. It’s hard to get her to open up, so she might contain a lot of her feelings. Fortunately, her brother, his sons, and her girlfriend help her release the pressure she keeps inside. Her true self is often humorous and confident.

Omoni Okafor - Omoni is Trinity’s girlfriend, and instead of participating in the small entertainment industry like Jeremy or being an engineer like Trinity, Omoni works the roots of Hoodoo as a Hoodoo practitioner. She gets her money by being open towards potential customers and helping them out with whatever they want or need. Sometimes, she’s generous enough to have appointments be free. Omoni is the opposite of Trinity. Omoni is very open and welcoming towards strangers and just about everybody. However, this does not mean she is gullible; she can sense when someone is trying to manipulate her or is just all-around a bad person. She is very observant, extremely wise, and incredibly patient. She often babysits Jeremy’s kids.

I’m gonna make a separate post about Numen and a few other characters in a bit!

#clematus apparatus #twisty's characters #jeremy #trinity #omoni

[torixus]

Hoodlums Shot Female Victim for Resisting Rape Attempt in Rivers State

Nigerian Police force on Patrol

Some unknown gunmen labelled armed robbers shot a Lady for allegedly resisting their  rape attempt at Agip Flyover, Rumueme, in the Obio/Akpor Local Government Area, near the Rivers State College of Health Sciences and Management Technology.

Torixus was told that the unnamed Lady was taken to a medical clinic after she was found in a heavy pool of blood. 

Speaking about the incident, Mr. Igwe ThankGod, who is serving as the Leader of the Student Union Government, Rivers State College of Health Sciences and Management Technology, said that security personal attached to the college came to rescue the victim after they heard the sound of the gunshot. He said that she was given first aid before police officers arrived to the scene.

He told our reporters that the assailants dismissed from the premises after committing the ill crime.

Speaking further, ThankGod noted that about 9pm, they heard a gunshot around a flyover near their school and they rushed to the place, in other to know what was going on. He said they found out that a girl was badly injured in her hand, after she was robbed of her valuables, including phone and some Money. "They were attempting to rape her when our school security came out and rescued her.” he said.

Residence of the area called on the Government of Wike to launch heavy security around the flyover in other to avoid the occurrence from repeating itself.

‌Confirming the report, the spokesperson of the the Rivers State Police Command, Nnamdi Omoni, told the media that the event happened, but that he had yet to get the full details.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); via Blogger https://ift.tt/3nH1kGN

#quotes life relationships feelings love quotes relatable quotes heartbreak heartbroken spil

[edisonashley]

Lawyard Spotlight: Tayo Fashesin

Tayo Fashesin is the Group Legal Counsel at Filmhouse Group, which comprises of companies focused on the exhibition, distribution and production of film contents. He spoke to Lawyard. 

Personal Journey

He attended Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife (OAU) where he obtained his LL. B degree and immediately proceeded to the Nigerian Law School, Yenagoa, Bayelsa State after which he was admitted to the Nigerian Bar.  For him, mentors have played an immense role in his educational and career decisions. His late grandfather, whom he idolized had a thriving law practice and he has also had the opportunity to be mentored by the brightest minds and they have played a big role in providing guidance and advise regarding his career moves and decisions

Professional Life and Law Practice 

LAWYARD: Where do you currently work, your specific role and how long have you worked here. Also kindly include, the nature of your work. 

Tayo Fashesin: I currently work as the Group Legal Executive with the Filmhouse Group, which comprises predominantly of Filmhouse Cinemas, a film exhibition company with several outlets all over Nigeria and FilmOne Entertainment, a Film Production and Distribution company that is responsible for the production/distribution of most of the blockbuster film contents.

I have been with the Group for 5 years and within this period I have had the opportunity to be involved in many ground breaking activities including the licensing of the IMAX Technology (the first in West Africa), Content Aggregation with Netflix, West Africa Film Fund, Successful defence of a copyright infringement matter – Omoni Oboli’s Okafor’s Law, Distribution Agreements with Warner Bros., 20th Century Fox just to mention a few.

My key responsibilities include providing legal advice to the company’s management, legal documentation, management of litigation matters for the group, and general provision of legal protection for the group. I also assist with the provision of secretarial services to Board of Directors of the companies as well as the Board Committees and considering these responsibilities I tend to get involved in almost all aspects of the business.

LAWYARD: You previously worked as an Associate Lawyer at The Gavel Associates. What was the nature of your work here and please tell us about the strategic decisions that led you in-house rather than rise through the ranks of a law firm?

Tayo Fashesin: Considering the nature of the legal profession, the early years in any lawyer’s career is very important as a lot of important lessons and habits are cultivated during these formative years. For me, The Gavel Associates played an important role in my career as it was a period of learning and considering that it was a small sized firm, these lessons were very personalised, kudos to my seniors at this firm.

The firm is a general practice firm hence I was introduced to different aspects of law ranging from Litigation to Real Estate to Corporate/Commercial Law. I also had the opportunity to have been entrusted with many responsibilities solely, considering the fact that I was only fresh out of law school. 

LAWYARD: You are presently the Group Legal Counsel at FilmOne Entertainment.  Please tell us more about your role in this capacity. What informed your decision to move into Compliance and Entertainment Law practice?

Tayo Fashesin: I have always had a flair for entertainment in whatever form and when the opportunity presented itself for me to work as a lawyer in the entertainment industry, I grabbed it.

And I have mentioned to everyone that cares to listen, especially people that make reference to me as an “Entertainment Lawyer” that the description is a bit incorrect. I am a Lawyer, working in the entertainment industry, I say this because the responsibilities and the services rendered encompasses different aspects of Law and Entertainment Law is only one of the aspects. 

LAWYARD: What structures do you have in place to ensure easier job delivery?

Tayo Fashesin: Through the able leadership of my boss and mentor, Anthony Okwuosa, there are processes in place within the department and even the company as a whole that ensures prompt, efficient and top-notch delivery of tasks especially with clear reporting lines.

LAWYARD:  In your line of work, how have you managed to balance existing systems/regulations in Nigeria/West Africa with commercial realities?

Tayo Fashesin: I must say it is a bit challenging because the Entertainment industry can be considered as an emerging sector. However, in spite of this it is clear that the Government and its agencies mean well because they have been very supportive. It is worthy to note especially the efforts of the National Films and Videos Censors Board (NFVCB) in working hand-in-hand with industry practitioners. 

LAWYARD: How do you, as the Sub-Saharan Counsel, find communication with other teams in your company?

Tayo Fashesin: I am very lucky to be working with a very amazing group of people who are indeed very gifted at what they do. Nobody works in isolation and all the different departments within the company always try to carry other departments along in the execution of their tasks. 

LAWYARD: What are some of the highlights of your work? What are some of the recurring challenges you have to tackle in your current role?

 Tayo Fashesin: As mentioned earlier, overtime, I have had the opportunity to be involved in many landmark activities from cinema openings (from ideation to opening to the public) to film investment funds and even working on most of the Nollywood blockbusters. However, there is the recurring challenge of the knowledge gap whereby many players in the industry do not understand the laws and their rights in relation to their work.

It is understandable that the industry is just growing, so we have been able to carry out a lot of sensitization to educate people about the relations between their rights, the law and the entertainment industry and I must confess that there has been some improvement. 

LAWYARD: How do you decide when to engage external firms or specific skills outside your expertise?

Tayo Fashesin: We typically engage the services of external solicitors to represent us for Disputes Resolution and also when we need a third-party opinion on any legal issue. Apart from these, all legal matters are mostly sorted out in-house.

On a Lighter Note 

LAWYARD: Outside of work, what do you enjoy?

Tayo Fashesin: I enjoy hanging out with my friends and considering the complexities of living in Lagos, we try to do this as often as practicable. I also like watching documentaries and football.

LAWYARD: Considering how highly competitive the world has become, what are those non-negotiable skills you would recommend to young lawyers considering a similar career path as yours?  

Tayo Fashesin: I will say strong communication skills, commercial awareness, people management skills, creative problem-solving skills and versatility. Considering the nature of the industry you are expected to be very versatile to be able to adapt to different allied functions and activities.

LAWYARD: We understand you have always been a great footballer and easily one of the stars to watch out for at the annual BOA Lawyers League, did you ever consider a professional career in football? 

Tayo Fashesin: After captaining my University’s School team at some point, I always believed that I will lead Nigeria to winning our first World Cup trophy whilst playing for Arsenal wearing the number 14 jersey. It is safe to say “man proposes, God disposes”. Hahaha!

The post Lawyard Spotlight: Tayo Fashesin appeared first on Lawyard.

Lawyard Spotlight: Tayo Fashesin published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.weebly.com/

[jennifer-wayne]

‘I Am A Very Ambitious Person’ – Omoni Oboli (Photo)

‘I Am A Very Ambitious Person’ – Omoni Oboli (Photo)

Actress Omoni Oboli

Popular Nollywood actress and filmmaker, Omoni Oboli has shared some of her goals for 2020.

The renowned actress took to Instagram to let her fans know that in 2020, she would not go low for anyone to get high.

According to Oboli, she has learnt to stop apologizing for being ambitious.

Oboli also pointed out that it is through hard work her ambitions will turn reality.

READ…

View On WordPress

[tara-l-blackmore]

Double-Edged

To whom it concerns, I've been lying to you. All along, since day one, no matter who you are, if we’re spoken, I’ve lied to you. I have always lied to you. What's the lie? Easy: I'm a good person. It's the truth. I'm not a good person. I'm not nice. I'm not selfless and altruistic. I'm nothing more than a piece of shit. Anything that stated otherwise was me lying to you. I'm a bad person. I'm not at all what I’ve made you believe. I'm not nice. I'm not good. I'm a mean, bad person. I'm not being a bully to myself: I’m being honest with you. I'm immature and irresponsible, and I'm childish and pathetic. The truth is that I’m a very lonely person during the day. Because I am disabled, it means I’m a housewife. But I can't even do housework, so I’m barely even that. I'm a 35-year-old child. I'm spoilt rotten. I love getting presents. I love being the centre of attention. I love being loved. I'm so lonely that I forget about my age, about how to behave, what it means to be a friend. All I want is to be loved and love back without it being an embarrassment or burden upon anyone. But I am an embarrassing burden. I lose every friend I make, because I barely do the bare minimum of what it takes to be a good friend. I expect people to fawn over me, all while never doing anything of the sort in return. Whatever anyone has said about me is true, especially if they were especially close to me (you know who you are; I’m not wasting time and putting names in, nobody cares). I start out the perfect friend, but the first time I start to show my true self is usually when things begin to fall apart. I forget that nobody wants to know about that side, nobody cares enough about me to want to try, and even when they do, the reward is barely a grain of salt within a bag of poison powder. It's not worth it. I have been offline for most of the past month. I received – and continue to receive – bad news from my doctors, and I’m losing hope. I know people don't hang out with me to be my free therapist, so I’ve been keeping things to myself. I've noticed that, though it's said often, the fact is is that nobody wants to know about my problems. I serve as a sort of advice columnist, and I forget my place. My neediness makes me stupid and blind, and when people show me even a whiff of kindness, I’m ass-over-teakettle from their affection, eager for more and more. I start to lose focus, and I start to use people. A lot. I'm never gross – love in this context is always familial or friendly, never romantic – but especially because I attract a younger audience with my scribbles, I forget that age sometimes isn't just a number, and no teenager or young adult wants to spend their free time listening to some disabled middle-aged-housewife bitch about her problems. So what I’m trying to say is: I’m sorry. I'm sorry I lied to all of you, and I’m sorry I hurt all of you while doing so. In full honesty, that was and never will be my intention. My true intention is to serve as a kind of mentor, an adult friend to ask questions you for some reason cannot ask your parents but need answers to, and urgently. I again refer to the advice columnist part above. It's something I love to do and if I could get paid to do it, I would. But the truth remains, and it simply states that I am not qualified to help people that way. I'm not able to properly give that kind of advice, because I am uneducated and no professional. Hell, I’m not even an amateur. What is truth is the fact that I care about every person in my life who is kind to me. That is real. That is not part of my two-faced life. I truly care, and if I say so, I truly love. But I know that it's not enough, especially once I become comfortable enough to start sharing back. People often ask me to share, and lately, I’ve been refusing. I've discovered a pattern, one easy to see with hindsight, one I perhaps refused to see in that need to feel loved and special. When I do share, and people begin to discover the real me, save the rarest of cases, they all start to freeze me out. I think things are going great, I feel happy to have a new friend… and I lose them, almost right after. Because my shit sucks. But I need someone to listen to me. I can't do this, anymore. I can't be the perfect friend, anymore, the nice, sweet person who will drop everything to help you. I want to be. I yearn to remain as such. But without that ability – the ability to share in return, to ask instead of offer the advice – I cannot remain in that kind of friendship, anymore. I'm very sick. It's getting worse. I don't know how much longer I have. And I know that one of the worst feeling in the world is to be forced to watch someone you care about die – or maybe the whining and complaining will get old, and you can't take the sadness, anymore. I can't guarantee that I’ll be able to be as supportive for you as you are for me, because I’m losing the battle against death and suicide. I certainly don’t want to drag anyone else down with me, let alone make anyone falsely assume – should it happen – that my suicide is anyone else's fault but my own. I just… want to be loved and cared for, and I want to be able to love and care for you in return, the way we both want. If you've outgrown any need for me, and haven't had the chance to say so, I’m telling you that it's okay to go, now. You don't have to keep me as a contact out of some kind of old loyalty to me. I hate that. I don't want that. I want a real friend, not a person who dangles friendship in front of me but never lowers their hand. I'm tired, I'm sick, and I’m lonely. I need help, and I need love. I need a lot of both. And I’m so very tired of chasing after it, of chasing you down, dragging you to me, screaming at you for attention, while you scream back for your freedom. And I’m not saying that nobody already does this. I can think of several people who do not need to know any of this, who do support me back, and who go out of their way to contact me. If you do that, this isn't for you. But this is about a lot of you. So please, if you feel this way, I understand, and you can cut that last tie, okay? I'm not saying these things because I want to be alone. I'm saying them so that, when I need someone to remind me that I'm not alone, someone will actually be there to do it. And so that I can do the very same for them – you. I've been offline and isolated for a while, now, and it's given me a lot of time to soul-search and think over my life's decisions, and what they've amounted to be. One of the first things I became aware of was how unhappy I make people feel, and how terrified I am to trust them as a result. I've spoken to perhaps two people throughout this entire time, and one of them I told to leave me, because of the abuse I’ve been heaping upon them – and how even they don't realise how miserable I make people. I'm aware there are exceptions. But at the same time, this also goes out to those exceptions. I'm giving everyone a “Get out of jail free” card, here, and I mean it. There's a chance I will be going away for a while, soon, and I won't be able to speak to people online for fuck knows how long – a week at least. I don't know how many of you will still be here if/when I come back. So instead of waiting for that to happen while I’m away, I’m inviting you to leave now. As always, I will say nothing, even if we've known each other for a decade. That has already happened, and as promised, because they terminated the friendship, I have not spoken to them or bothered them since. Because when I say it, I mean it. I may be a two-faced asshole, but I have some honour. I have to go to bed, now. I don't know what I will wake up to. No, this doesn't mean I’m killing myself – I’m absolutely not. It also doesn't mean I’m going to delete my entire internet fingerprints, either. I will still write, still interact with readers, and still chat with people who aren't afraid of my bleak sides, or whom have the patience to put up with my bullshit. I can't act, anymore. I can't keep pretending that I have no problems, no hopes and dreams, and no need for comfort and support. I do. I'm desperate for them. And that's why I’m a garbage friend. I'm not ending friendships with anyone. What I am doing is offering you the chance to walk away, and blame me for ending it. It's the only thing I can give you: the satisfaction of knowing you have hurt me deeply, and the ability to claim that I did it to myself, alone. And you wouldn't be wrong. But if I do wake up tomorrow, and some of you are still here… Then talk to me. Prove it. Show me. I'm fine with different kinds of friendships (once-a-month chatters, daily talkers, yearly updates); I just want us both to agree on the level and type of closeness or intimacy we reach (platonic and familial, remember. I'm not interested in romance at all. Zero per cent). I have not been feeling like we are on equal ground with a lot of you, lately. All I want to know is where I stand in your life, so that I know what to expect – and what not to expect. I don't think that's too much to ask. It's late; I need to sleep. I'm done, anyway. I'll probably regret this tomorrow morning, but it's too late to think about it, now. You have the key. Use it or don't – just tell me if I need to lock it behind you. That's all.

#Omoni gets personal #health #who cares

[mortallymaximumdonut]

COSAGATE: OMONI OBOLI SPEAKS

COSAGATE: OMONI OBOLI SPEAKS

The Bible warns us to “be quick to hear, be slow to speak, and be slow to wrath”, and going by my personal experience of seeing how quickly many took sides without first getting all the facts, weighing it against the character of all the parties involved, given our antecedents, and then drawing conclusions from evidence and an objective comparative analysis of the accounts, rather than from…

View On WordPress

[ayoolashilelizzy-blog]

SUCCESS IN LIFE

Life is not all sunshine and rainbow, at the same time it is not all gloom and doom. It's a mixture of good and bad but in Life you must learn to focus on its good side than the bad side.

To be strong and steadfast in life you must learn to move past every bad things life throws at you, you know the hurt, the heart breaks, death, sickness, disasters and all of it.

Life might not throw all of its doom directly at you, it might bring them to you in form of a person. I mean, I havess come to learn that in Life there are people who wants you to be like them, people who wants you to make the same mistakes they made in their journey in Life, people who wants your life to be just as miserable as theirs.

They come as good people to you, giving you advices that are ostensibly true, telling you to follow that path that led to their downfall. You know such people when you see them, something in you keeps telling you they are evil; but sometimes you feel “There's no crime in trying”. You just want to give a try to whatever they have to say and this trial leads to your downfall.

Success is not all about having the glams and glitters, it’s about you falling to the ground and how quick you are to bounce back on your feet and get moving.

I noticed that virtuous and successful people who made it to the top in our world today all share something in common, that is: The Act of Rising Back after every of their falls in Life.  The likes of Oprah Winfrey, Omoni Oboli, Chimanmanda Adichie, Omotola Jalade, Linda Ikeji and lots of them. They was a time in Life when they had it rough, a time when nobody believed in them, a time when they were down….. You know it wasn't all rosy for them in the journey but they moved past every gloom in Life and focused on Winning.

I have come to a conclusion which is, the secret to Success in Life is :

When LIFE hits you to the ground, you rise, clean yourself, climb that ladder, push through and Believe in yourself.

                                                                                                                             I am Ayobami Ademuwagun.

[newssplashy]

Here are the reactions of some celebrities over the tanker explosion at Otedola bridge that led to the loss of many lives.

Thursday, June 28, 2018, will forever remain a dark day in Nigeria after the tanker explosion at the Otedola bridge which left many killed and cars destroyed.

The sad event took the lives of many people with over 50 cars burnt, and the reactions from people across the country have all been sober. Some celebrities have reacted to the sad event and expressed their condolences to families of the bereaved.

Here are some of the reactions of your favourite celebrities across the country over the sad event that shocked the country.

1. Don Jazzy

 Don Jazzy while posting a video shown by one of the popular TV networks in the country on his Instagram page, was of the opinion that God is apparently not happy with us in Nigeria, hence the continuous deaths and killings.

 "GOD is not happy with us as a country and we know why. What do we do now?'' he wrote.

2. Runtown

 Runtown feels a lot of things are going wrong in the country as he said a prayer for those who lost their lives to the fuel tanker explosion which took place at the Otedola bridge. He took to his Twitter page on Thursday, June 28, 2018, where he shared his own views.

 "Prayers up for our country Nigeria, too many bad things happening, may the good Lord protect us all, AMEN !!'' he tweeted.

3. Falz

 Falz was among the celebrities who took to their Instagram pages to pray for the families of those we lost their lives in the fuel tanker explosion incident.

 "God help us    Lord comfort the families of the lost ones in Lagos today,'' he wrote.

4. Timi Dakolo

ALSO READ: Many feared dead as tanker explodes on Lagos bridge

Timi Dakolo also had a similar view over the sad incident, saying that it could have been avoided if the necessary policies were in place. Timi who couldn't hide his emotions took to his Instagram page where he poured out his frustrations on the government and their lackadaisical attitude towards making the country work.

 "THE TRUTH IS THAT MANY OF THESE THINGS HAPPENING IN OUR COUNTRY CAN BE AVOIDED, FROM THE TRAILERS CARRYING CONTAINERS THAT HAVE NOTHING HOLDING THEM BACK IN CASE OF POTHOLES, TO TRUCKS THAT HAVE OUTLIVED THEIR DAYS STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF CARRYING PETROLEUM PRODUCTS ,TO BUSES WITHOUT BRAKE LIGHTS OR BRAKES STILL CONVEYING PASSENGERS ,TO SAME BUSES LOADING PASSENGERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND CAUSING TRAFFIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF TRAFFIC CONTROL OFFICERS AND POLICE OFFICERS . THESE ACCIDENTS WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN BECAUSE WE DONT HOLD PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE/ACCOUNTABLE AND THE PEOPLE WHO SHOULD MAKE SURE THESE THINGS SHOULDN’T HAPPEN WILL STILL HAVE THEIR JOBS INTACT BY TOMORROW. #Godhelps #thisisnigeria," he wrote.

5. Omoni Oboli

 Another celebrity who is never shy to speak her mind when it comes to social issues and was obviously shocked and angry over the fuel tanker explosion is Omoni Oboli. The beautiful actress took to her Instagram page on Thursday, June 28, 2018, where she expressed her disappointment over how things got to this point.

 "This is beyond sad! Some people said I should just pray and not call government that it’s just an accident. This is exactly the kind of reasoning that’s keeping us where we are! I’m even too tired and heartbroken to explain. Good night. #RIP #PrayForNigeria #DemandAccountabilityFromGovernment #StayWoke #StayWokeFam," she wrote.

6. Ali Baba

 Ali Baba in his usual manner took to his Instagram page where he wrote a long epistle about the ills of the country and how the failure to create policies and follow them by the government of the country has resulted in the avoidable deaths like that of those who lost their lives to the fuel tanker explosion.

 "In organized societies, where traffic is a major issue, tankers and heavy-duty vehicles move at night or at specified times. In developed climes, MOT agencies... are as serious as the police force. In some other climes, that have deep shores like we do, only one port cannot be used for discharge of staples like fuel, and even then, fuel and transportation of inflammable contents are done in controlled methods.

"We are a Lawless country. If the government tries to organize these same tankers now, they will go on strike, shut down the economy and day to day running, and we will let them continue. Same thing with teachers... try to get them to go get retrained and be better qualified to teach, they will strike and we are back to status quo. We do not punish people who even chop monies meant for projects. Projects that have been captured in the budget and monies released.

"The same people who chop the monies will now be in the ruling party and to prosecute them becomes a No No. And as nothing is done to them another person will do it. Just imagine. Nigerians died today because of avoidable precautions and failure to create policies and laws that have consequences that could have deterred that tanker from being on that road. But no. Lawmakers don't care. The Executives no send and the JUDICIARY is not jailing them. Bet me, more tankers will fall. Nothing will be done. Nothing," he wrote.

7. Adesua Etomi

 Adesua Etomi just like other celebrities expressed her sadness over the event which has left a dark cloud in the country. The actress took to her Instagram page on Thursday, June 28, 2018, where she lamented about the various issues that are plaguing the country.

 "May all the departed RIP. #sigh Please make roads safer for us. If it's not dangerous potholes, it's traffic robberies, if it's not traffic robberies it's kidnappings, if it's not that it's SARS, if it's not SARS it's containers falling, if it's not that it's tankers catching fire...surely, more must be done," she wrote.

via NewsSplashy - Latest Nigerian News Online,World Newspaper

#IFTTT #NewsSplashy - Latest Nigerian News Online #World Newspaper

[icechuksblog]

Omoni Oboli lost patience with an Instagram user who was in the habit of coming to her posts and that of other Instagram users to beg for money and she cautioned the Instagram user. The Instagram user begged Omoni for one thousand Naira because she's hungry. But, Omoni told her that she sees her doing the same on her other posts and that of others, so this means she has enough money to buy data monthly and stay online, yet she wouldn't put the money to good use.  Omoni went on to tell her that no one owes her anything and recalled how she had to do several tasking jobs to make money on the side. The actress went on to take a screenshot of her comment to the young lady to share on Instagram. Her caption read: These are the issues... I have never responded to begging comments ever because I know first hand that we’ve all needed a little assistance and maybe even still do so we have to ask but... You are asking for assistance for what exactly? What is the end game? Is it to start a business that will eventually give you some financial freedom? If so, fantastic! I applaud you!  When it becomes a lifestyle is when it gets worrisome. How do you for months or years drop the same comment on hundreds or thousands of posts? It reminds me of those days nicely dressed guys would come to you outside business places and say they lost their wallet and they just needed transport fare. You will then know you’ve been had, when the same guy meets you the following week with the exact same story. It’s now online.  We all know country hard. Leave o, it’s really hard for many people and we try in our small capacity to help as many people as we can...But if you are an able bodied young person, think of what you can do and then you can beg for the money to do it. I know free money is sweet. Believe me, as hard as I work for my money, the kind of dance I dance when I get free money nor be here but...there’s dignity in making your own money. Dignity in doing something that will not only give you money but bring satisfaction and fulfillment.  My darling young lady deleted her comment after my response to her. Luckily I had screenshot it. I had thought she would come to my DM asking for assistance to start something but she deleted her comment. What does that tell you?  Please my fellow hustlers, nobody owes anybody anything! Stand up and do something! God bless our hustle

http://icechuks2.blogspot.com/2019/01/omoni-oboli-cautions-instagram-beggar.html

#http://icechuks2.blogspot.com/2019/01/omoni-oboli-cautions-instagram-beggar.html Omoni Oboli caution

[torixus]

Hoodlums Shot Female Victim for Resisting Rape Attempt in Rivers State

Nigerian Police force on Patrol

Some unknown gunmen labelled armed robbers shot a Lady for allegedly resisting their  rape attempt at Agip Flyover, Rumueme, in the Obio/Akpor Local Government Area, near the Rivers State College of Health Sciences and Management Technology.

Torixus was told that the unnamed Lady was taken to a medical clinic after she was found in a heavy pool of blood.��

Speaking about the incident, Mr. Igwe ThankGod, who is serving as the Leader of the Student Union Government, Rivers State College of Health Sciences and Management Technology, said that security personal attached to the college came to rescue the victim after they heard the sound of the gunshot. He said that she was given first aid before police officers arrived to the scene.

He told our reporters that the assailants dismissed from the premises after committing the ill crime.

Speaking further, ThankGod noted that about 9pm, they heard a gunshot around a flyover near their school and they rushed to the place, in other to know what was going on. He said they found out that a girl was badly injured in her hand, after she was robbed of her valuables, including phone and some Money. "They were attempting to rape her when our school security came out and rescued her.” he said.

Residence of the area called on the Government of Wike to launch heavy security around the flyover in other to avoid the occurrence from repeating itself.

‌Confirming the report, the spokesperson of the the Rivers State Police Command, Nnamdi Omoni, told the media that the event happened, but that he had yet to get the full details.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); via Blogger https://ift.tt/3nH1kGN

#Crime #Metro #NEWS

[tara-l-blackmore]

Return of minute proportions

I admit it: I was deeply hurt by how I was treated on this website. I truly felt by the end that I was giving everything of myself, and instead of being rewarded for it, people used it against me myriad times, including as a knife to cut a friendship to ribbons. I was shocked by hoiw quickly people can turn you, and especially so by people who swore never to do so, only to blame me for other people's misgivings. Or, the worst: being hated for supporting marginalised groups, like the LGBT+ community (which I am a part of). I recently had a friend of 20 come down on me for supporting trans people. I've also been called a paedophile on this website, several times, for no reason. This website owes me a lot of what I will not get. I met a lot of people I love, but I was also beaten up and burned for loving the wrong people, people pretending to love me, because it's cheaper than a therapist. My biggest problem has always been being blamed for not initiating contact. I make it clear, from the very second that you meet me, that I do not like to imitate contact for fear of being too pushy or overbearing. I don't like it, because when I am forced to do it, it ends up being exactly that: my forcing myself on people. I wrote several posts ago that I was done chasing people's love, that I was tired of being used as a therapist, but when it comes to my problems and pains, I'm too much, my pain is too ugly, and I must therefore focus on theirs. I cannot do this, anymore. I cannot keep chasing people. I cannot keep being punished for "ignoring" people, when the times I reach out fail, and the times I don't are my fault, when it goes two ways. Very few people bother to reach out first. So I assumed that nobody cared. I stopped reaching out. And I was proven right. 9/10 of the people I have met here have used me. I try to be a nice person. When I say I don't mind helping you through your problems or tough times, and I'm always happy to help cheer you up or cry with you. But I do not appreciate being told to the point of bullying that I withhold too much personal information - only to shame and humiliate me and shut me down for daring to have such intense feelings, ones fare beyond their own (most of the time). You make me feel like I am wrong for wanting to be treated as I treat you. I know I'm not perfect. But when I am consistently ignored, purposefully overlooked, and then made to feel ashamed and rude for someone else's actions, I get angry. I get fed up. I end up realising that I've had enough. So I say nothing. And you know what I've discovered? I was right. I am either a pity friend, or a friend kept because I help you through hard times, but you would be goddamned before you do the bare minimum same for me. I don't know if I'm coming back here completely. I felt the need to explain this, to add on to my previous post, about age and fandom. That's another thing I'm tired of: ageism. Most fandom are started by adults, and have been since it began. I'm an old fandom hand, yes, but it's unfair to put age limits on things like this. Especially mentoring. I dunno. I'm just sick of the abuse. I'm very tired, okay? I'm tired of loving someone with my full heart, only to be considered an afterthought, pity-case, or obligation, or doing the bare minimum to keep me as a free therapist. I love helping people. But I cannot do it any long at the expense of my soul. I need someone to listen to, to lean on, to ask for advice, too. But I have perhaps one person online that I can do this with. Two years ago, I was friends with so many of you. We cared about each other. We wrote fanfics and started fanworks together. But then you all outgrew me, save as the aforementioned blankie. Well, this blankie is now nothing but holes and string. Either help renew it with better sewing, or replace it with someone new. Bottom line: STOP USING ME. I've had enough. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, anymore. If I feel that you are using me, you're out. I'm tired of being lonely and punished for being shy and wary, when all you do is reinforce why I have every right to feel this way. Just fucking stop it. I'm human, too, remember...?

#Omoni gets personal #health #who cares #histrionics #I wish I were dead #I can't take it anymore #why does everyone love to hate me?!