Tumgik
#on and off
socksandfeetvideo · 2 months
Text
403 notes · View notes
sleeping-jo · 16 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
if you were a vampire would you bite my neck be honest
130 notes · View notes
fairly-tragic · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
now if we’re talking body, you got a perfect one so put it on me 💘
279 notes · View notes
vamph00n · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺Addictive ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺
|Hoon!!xfemreader!!
|-Mostly smut disguised with a plot.
|-In which y/n keeps Sunghoon around, even thought she’s not into being tied down to a relationship, and sunghoon believes he can fix her. That’s till he finds out she’s been whoreing around behind his back.
Wc:3,5k
A/n: not proofread lol
TW! Under the cut!
- drinking, alcohol, anger sex, oral, (fem and male), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, fingering, cum eating, breeding kink, intended impregnation, dacryphillia, boobplay, humiliation, slapping(like once only), toxic!reader, simp!Hoon, switch!hoon, switch!reader, etc…..(there’s a lot)
Enjoy :)
“Typical Goody Two Shoes,” is a term she’d describe him. Friends, colleagues, and even her own family, where surprised to say the least. She’d be bombarded with invasive questions, “Alright, what was the agreement.” Her friends asked when they first met her lover. She’d reassure them that there was no “agreement,” and that they where in a happy relationship. Bullshit. Of course, no matter how dark the rose tinted glasses were, her friends could see right through them. “Yeah right, you fucking maneater” they’d refute jokingly. “Would’ve thunk you’d find a Lucifer to your Lilith, but looks like you found yourself a Gabriel.” As much as she wanted to talk her shit, they were right, the man wasn’t even phased. He just smiled on as he sat beside her, staring into her lust ridden eyes. The same smile that made her heart melt when she first saw him. “I can be your Lucifer, if you want me to be.”
Park Sunghoon, the man who’d ask for her permission to hold her hand, the man who would delicately sweep the hair away from her eyes, and the man who held her tender body in bed as he made passionate love to you through the night; in her brain, he was simply not capable of being anything near as devilish. No matter the way she acted towards him,and no matter the circumstances. She could’ve tried to break up with him,shatter his heart, and he’d still come back, entangled in her legs. Instead, she’d insist they needed breaks. This was her game, seeing how many times he’d come back to her. Not for her love, or even her herself for a matter of fact. He’d only come back for one thing, her addictive cunt. Her juices around his dick made him feel a different kind of high. A sip of liquid gold, is what it felt like being beneath her, in pure ecstasy as she’d let him empty his load into her swollen walls. But what he saw as a passionate act of pleasure, was just you fucking him to get yourself off, riding his meat till you where satisfied, and he was overstimulated. The only reason he thought so fondly of your lovemaking, is the fact you thought his heart was too tender to spew obscenities at him when you engulfed him with your wet core; and the fact he thought he was the only man in your life. Despite this, it has always been clear it wasn’t a serious relationship. So why did he stay? Well, he had a strong conviction, a goal perhaps, that just maybe, you’d be the one crawling back to him. That maybe, if he played a dumb whore in your game, you’d stop and realized you needed him. This twisted mindset made his pants feel a little tighter around his crotch. A sick feeling that made his cock twitch, and drip with precum as he bit his lip, but for now, he was more than content with playing a pawn in your game. Because that way, at least your love seemed real.
Of course this screwed up a lot of things for him, but he wasn’t ashamed. One night he’d spend tangled up in her bed, and the other he’d spend in his own, jerking off to her. His friends found him especially odd, the way he talked about you, and the things he’d let you do to him put a bad taste in their mouths. He too had his fair share of things he’d to to you, all of the nasty things he’d do if you didn’t objectify him, and his cock. “Only gonna let her have all of me when she straightens out” he’d tell his friends. But to them, it sounded like a whole lot of bull. He had turned soft on you, and had let your little game run longer that it should’ve.
It was another Friday night, he drank with his friends after a long day of work, and ever since your fling started with him, their conversations where always the same. They always started from “how’s everyone’s relationships going,” to “you need to cut ties with her Sunghoon.” Jake in particular was against her, “You need to get the fuck away from her,” he said downing a shot. Sunghoon fiddled with his glass, “here he goes again.” Jay looks down at his empty cup, “For real, if i took a shot each time your ass went back to her, I’d die from alcohol intoxication. Speaking of which, you’re not gonna drink anymore?” Sunghoon pushed his empty shot glass aside,
“I’m just sobering up for the drive,”
“Oh the drive back home? You didn’t take a cab?” Jake pondered.
Scilence filled the air, the and the sound of clinking as his friends poured more soju into their cups. Sunghoon’s friends looked at each other, they knew what was up. The way his eyes fazed out, as he thought of you, he needed your heat.
“Don’t tell me your going back to that bitch? Didn’t you guys take your ‘break’ just a couple of days ago?” Sunghoon looked at both of them, “we all know that slut needs me more than I do, besides, shes never going to leave me”
You were taking a nice steamy shower, and you hear your doorbell, then a ‘click’. Someone had used a key to open your door. While it could’ve been on of the many guys you slept with, there’s only one man you gave a copy of it. “I’m the shower!!” You shouted. You already knew it was Sunghoon, one of the many men you had wrapped around your finger. Sure, he was a good guy, at least for the first few days you “dated” before it turned into what it is now. He took you on dates, and bought you things. Guys like him always made the space between your thighs a bit wetter, because there was always a chance they would fuck you senseless in bed. Maybe he’d finally put an end to your behavior, but time proved you wrong (or so you thought.) Sunghoon just being here made your head go fuzzy, your imagination went wild. Being the obedient man he always presented himself as, you knew he wouldn’t be so rash to hop in the shower with you and fuck you then and there. “He’s not that type of guy,” you thought to yourself as you scrub your hair. “I wish he was.” Of course someone with such a wide pallet of sexual preference, you got bored. So, you’d go meddle around with other men while you and Sunghoon were on a “break,” in fact you were supposed to see someone else tomorrow night, but you didn’t think your boy toy would come back so quickly. So why? Why did you stay with him? You knew your appetite for dick was insatiable, so why push him away every other week, and fool around with some random men? The answer wouldn’t be so simple, maybe it the way you felt powerful when he showed back up at your apartment, or maybe it’s the way he’d give you back hugs in the morning after, and made you breakfast. When you guys weren’t going at it, it made everything seem less superficial, which scared you, but it made you feel something other than lust. So in retrospect, you couldn’t leave him.
The man was waiting for you to finish showering, as he placed himself on your couch. Call him crazy, but he could still smell the addictive scent of your core, on the pillows where you made love to him a week ago in this toxic cycle. He peered around in your dim lit living room, and he heard a notification, aswell as seeing the light of your cellphone. It was unlocked, and it was on the last app you where using. It was morally wrong for him to look through your phone, but it wasn’t exactly ok for you to play this lust filled game with him either. So he scrolled through it, and an audible gasp slip past his lips, as he saw your messages with a man dubbed “LHs.” He went through your chat with him, and the many nudes you both exchanged. He never felt so disappointed, and angry. His hand gripped the phone so hard, he could’ve broke the screen. He knew this relationship wasn’t serious, he knew you only wanted to see him for his dick. So why did it upset him so much? Maybe it’s the fact he never thought you’d cheat on him, for some reason it just wasn’t a possibility in his mind. Or maybe it’s because his philosophy about fixing you was so strong, he would’ve never let you cheat on him. He didn’t want to cry, or let himself, but he did. Tears streaming down his face, as he used his knuckles to wipe them away. None the less, he came here for one thing, pussy. And he was gonna get it, but he wasn’t gonna take your shit anymore. Part of him felt sad, he was attached to you, and the impossible idea that you’d straighten out just for him. Well, if you weren’t gonna fix your act on your own, he’d make you.
You came out of your bathroom, dressed in nothing but a shirt and underwear, because it’s not like you’d need much clothing tonight anyways, and you saw him sitting on your bed. He stayed silent and didn’t look at your face. His face glistened as the lamp in your room illuminated it. “Back again huh? Only been two days since our break,” you cooed, as your hands made their way up his thighs ghosting his crotch. As furious as he was, Sunghoon didn’t want to pounce on her quite yet, “I let her have her fun first.” She looked at his face, his eyes slightly red, and he smelt of alcohol. Almost squirming in delight, at his disheveled nature. “Let me take care of you,” you purr as you straddle him. His lips press against yours, as you grind back and forth on his clothed manhood, cunt already dripping, making a small pool in your panties. His hands made their way to your head, pushing your lips deep onto his, his tongue intertwining with yours. “Fuck, you really need me huh? What a whore,” you’re breathless as you tease him. Sunghoon can’t stop thinking about it, how you slept with another guy, and his rage is visible in his pursuit as he kisses you. Suddenly your heated make out turned into a battle, as he bites your lip, making his way down your neck. Her skin so smooth, and soft, he wanted to leave marks of purple and red all over it. “Fuck, what’s gotten into him?” She thought, trying to hold back whimpers from the pure bliss his mouth was doing to her. He then pushes her down into the bed, trapping her beneath him. You had no idea what was happening, he looked livid, like an animal in heat waiting to that’s been waiting to devour her. It was hard to piece together coherent sentences, because you felt your core grow wetter by the second. “You’re such a fucking whore y/n,” he growled in your ear. “S-Sunghoon what are you talking about?” She tries to say innocently, knowing damn well he caught her. “Don’t act like an idiot, I saw your texts with that guy.” She was really in trouble now, but there was definitely something different about him today. “Hoon, I’m sorry, it’s just….um..I’ll make it up to you!” Knowing you’re gonna sound like a bitch, you don’t elaborate further. He smirks at you, and his hand made his way to your heat, already riled up with your juices. You can’t stand keeping your voice down now, his fingers work circles on your clit, as your back arches in pleasures. He fucks faster into you, causing the hottest friction in your sopping wet pussy, “Please-god, go faster!” You moan in desperation to meet your high. A malicious grin spread his face, “Wouldn’t you rather be riding my cock doll? Or are you getting tired of me?” He asks you. Your eyes roll, your an absolute mess. Your dizzy for it, you start to move your hips against his hand. He smacks your cunt, and you yelp out at the action, “I’m not gonna let you cum till I say so, and if you try to pull anything, I’m gonna edge you till you fucking cry my name.”
Tears from the pleasure well up in your eyes, and he’s quick to use you however he wants. He removes your shirt, revealing your erect nipples pointing out to him, he shoved his face into them, sucking your sensitive tits. You start to feel like you owe him an apology, always using him however you want, but never letting him do anything he want a to you. Maybe that’s why you go so bored in relationships, you always did what you wanted, but never let other do what they want. “Sunghoonn, I’m…I’m.. sorr-“ you can’t seem to finish your sentence, only having your clit being toyed with but you already feel so drunk on pleasure. There was no mistaking it, he had visible enjoyment on his face now,“That’s right, this tight hole is all mine, if you get to own my dick I get to own you. No way I’m gonna ever let you cheat on me.” His fingers speed up, your mouth hanging agape, holding back you climax. A shit eating grin displays on his face, and his fingers invade your hole. You throw you head back, gripping onto the sheets as your core clenches around his fingers. “Bet you wanna do this to my cock huh?” His voice rings, “too bad though, sluts like you get enough cock.” You can’t tell if your being humiliated, or punished, but one things for sure, you couldn’t hold back your high anymore. Your voice becomes more labored, and your heat is throbbing uncontrollably.
“Shit, Hoon, I think I’m gonna…mhmm!” His fingers pull out from your wet hole, and are stuffed into your mouth. Pussy clenching on nothing, but your orgasm still crashing into you. Fluids dripping from your core, and the taste of your own, on his fingers shoved in your mouth. “I don’t recall telling you to cum,” he say lowly, as his face closes in on yours. Your eyes shut, at his cold breath, but your feel his fingers collect your slick. “Open your eyes doll, I want you to see how good I think you taste.” So dirty, so nasty, so goddamn hot. Your eyes fix on him, as he licks his fingers clean. Already you feel yourself grow wet again. He demands you to get up, and frankly you’re tired of being ordered around, so your don’t listen. “Don’t make this hard doll,” his voice rings mockingly. Still wanting to keep your pride, you don’t listen, then a loud audible smack on your thigh fills the room. “Just get up.” You do as your told, and you see him quickly unbuckle his pants, and his hard member sprang out.
“Suck,” he commanded. Your hand wrapped around his shaft as you took him in your mouth. You bob up and down on him feeling precum drip from his tip. You fondle with his balls, and stroke him whilst sucking, your tongue swirls around it. His head jolts back, as his hands pull up your hair into a makeshift ponytail. He uses his force to sink your head deeper into your cock, “I can’t!” You try to say through muffled tears. Sunghoon tried not to care, but he sees he’s hurting you. A pop sound comes from your mouth as he forces himself off you, and he brings his eyes to your own teary ones. “I think you owe me an apology,” he says looking at you, “an apology for everything you’ve done to me.” He takes your hand squeezing it “oh no,” you thought. There’s that feeling again, that ache in your heart when he looks at you like that. That same feeling that made you reconsider your relationship with him, and the strong attachment you actually had to him. Although you want to say sorry, it’s like muscle memory for you to sass back at him. “Not till you let me ride you, doll” you throw his own words back to him. Sunghoon grins, knowing damn well your already exhausted. He strips himself of his pants and lays on your bed. “Go ahead, let me see you try.” Your legs are already shaking from exhaustion. you straddle him, aligning his penis with your entrance, and you sit down on him. That addictive feeling, the feeling of your cunt squeeze his dick. You look down, trying to get a hold of yourself and you see his bulge in your stomach. It makes your head go fuzzy, and your body go limp. “Your turning stupid on me y/n.” He groans. “C’mon, don’t you wanna ride me? Don’t you know your lucky I let you? Hmm?” Tears drip from your pretty face, and you start to bounce up and down on him. His head tilts, he sees the tears in your eyes, and bites his lip. “Look at you go.” He teases. Your legs are starting to give out, as your tight cunt sucks him in. “Sunghoon, I can’t, I can’t keep going.” You sob. He’s quick to flip you onto your back, and kisses your teary face. His eyes lock with yours, and he gives you that dreamy bedroom gaze. “I want you to fuck me Sunghoon, I want you to use me.” His teeth graze your lips before he lifts them to whisper into your ear. “Be carful what you wish for.”
Suddenly his hips snap against yours, and he speaks up, “your safe word is cheater”
“What a way to rub it in huh?”
“Shut your mouth before I make you.”
Skin on skin, he rammed his dick into you, your abused hole clenching, and dripping from the many orgasms he had already gave you from rutting into you for hours. His eyes start to close, as he feels himself writhing. Your cum giving him slick to keep his cock lubricated, and your poor defenseless body at his disposal. He’d been edging himself for a while, because he didn’t feel you deserve his hot seed in you. “Sunghoon,” you whimper out, “just cum in me already.” He looks at your tearstained fucked out face, with a cocky grin inflating his ego by ten fold. “I should huh? Put a fucking kid in you hm?” You couldn’t tell if he was spewing out nonsense because he was fucked out, or if your were too fuck out to see he was telling only the truth. His hips thrusted his sensitive member into your gummy walls, as they throbbed, mixing your liquids with his. This addictive cunt, the dumbing drip it had that always left him pussydrunk. It felt euphoric, and after seeing it in a different light, now he was certain he couldn’t leave you, and he wouldn’t let you leave him.
“Gonna put a kid in this pussy,” he said as you felt yourself panic. “Your joking right? You’ll pull out right?” You gasp as you feel his cock glide in and out of your hole faster. “Fuck I’m gonna cum again.” Sunghoon doesn’t respond, all he has to show for it is a shit eating grin on his face. “What if I’m not joking? Because I think knocking you up with a kid will keep you from cheating.” Your head starts to snap back, and you start to feel a funny feeling in your stomach. His cock twitches in you, and he sees your face. Utterly entranced bye your fucked out face, his breath becomes labored, he’s seeing stars with every pump into you. He’s becoming a messy whore for you, and he’s even willing to put another life into your belly. “It this was people call possessive?”
“I’m gonna gonna cum into your whore ass, so you can’t leave me. I’m gonna fuck you dumb, doll.” He spits at her face. He takes one of his hands, and spits on it, bringing it to your clit rubbing it to help you reach your high. Your a babbling mess, your body starts to convulse as he plunged harder into your depths. His brain start to short circuit, he’s now grunting obscenities at you. He feels a wave of emotions hit him, as he pounds into you, “Your such a bitch, you don’t realize how much I fucking love you.” He says as he sits you up, bringing his body closer to yours. He lets delicate moans slip past his lips, as he hugs you, pulling your waist in closer. “He loves me?” You can’t help but repeat that line in your head over and over as his cock drags against you. “God this pussy is all mine, gonna cum.” He moans into your ear. You had been mostly silent the whole time, but your emotions got the best of you, and now you couldn’t hold back.
“Fuck, Sunghoon! I’m so sorry, sorry for playing with your heart, I want to fix things with you! I’m done sleeping around, I just want you.” She spews out.
“Yeah baby? What are you gonna let me do huh? What do you say? Gonna let me knock you up?” Your eyes roll back into your head, ready to release, all he needs to do is say the words. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” You say wrapping your legs around his waist, “Knock me up Sunghoon! Put your fucking kids into me! I’ll never fucking leave you!” A few pumps after, and his balls start to ache for release. You feel his length reach the deepest part of your cunt, and his semen spurts into you as your own liquids shot out. “Gonna stuff you with all of my cum.” He moans out shakily, as he fucks the pool of arousal back into you.
You lay in bed after the wild ride you just had, and you both had just been hugging in silence for the past thirty minutes. Sunghoon gets up and grabs his pants off the floor. You know he was going to leave, because why would he stay with you? But you at least thought he’d spend the night. This always happened, but you where always the one to send him away. So why did it hurt so much?
“Gonna get going y/n, see you another time.” He said as he buckled his belt. He gave you a quick peck on the head, and started to head out. Urgency and regret plagued your heart as you see him walk out, and you grab his hand to stop him. “What I said earlier was serious, let’s make this work.” You said with your eye’s glistening. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. You bring his face ti look directly at yours. “Baby,” he sighs, “let’s just talk about it another time yeah? I went a little overboard, so let’s just take a break.”
His words sting your heart, and you know it’s all your fault, and you see him wave at you begrudgingly as he leaves your apartment building. But like every other time, you know he’ll come back, and you know he loves you now, so it should’ve felt ok right?
You splash you face with water, and see how ruined you were. Sitting on the counter you see a shiny aluminum medicine package of your birth control taunting you. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”
You shakily count the amount you had, and it wasn’t adding up. You had forgotten to take it.
Fuck
A/n: hi guys! First fic I wrote on tumblr, and I know the ending is kinda bitter, and ended on a open note, but I don’t rlly like romanticizing toxic relationships, but they sure are fun to write. Anyways thank you for reading!!!
212 notes · View notes
moonbilly · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
sci fi in modern k-pop <nct 127 - superhuman (2018); aespa - savage (2021); taeyeon - invu (2022); dreamcatcher - maison (2022); exo - lucky one (2016); onf - goosebumps (2021); xdinary heroes - test me (2022); bi - btbt (2022); lee suhyun - alien (2020); stray kids - maniac (2022); everglow - pirate (2021); mirae - killa (2021)>
543 notes · View notes
h4venpha · 11 months
Text
↳ 𝐂𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 — aiku oliver
toxic romantic dynamics, hes mean and manipulative but we (i) love it
do not read if triggering!!
Tumblr media
When the last bell rang, you were finally shaken out of your thoughts. Looking down, your notes paper was blank other than your name and the date scribbled out at the top corner. Even though you usually enjoyed psychology class with your favorite professor, your mind was elsewhere.
You shoved your blank paper into your backpack without a care. Swinging your bag over your shoulder, you hurried out of the lecture room. You pushed through the other students and so you could get back to your dorm before he found you in the hall. Just as you passed the door frame, you broke into a brisk walk as you made your way back to your dorm.
No sudden, quick hands pulling at your forearm, no deep voice calling out your name, just other students who haven’t ruined your life unlike a certain someone.
You entered your dorm building and relief spilled throughout your body. Going to your own dorm room was strange after weeks of going to his right after class. You shoved that strange feeling down as you fiddled with the keycard in your hands as you began to reach your door. You turned the last corner and you were met by the person you least wanted to see.
He leaned back against the wall directly opposite from your door with his phone in his right hand while his other was tucked in his pocket. His dark hair fanned over his eyes with his head tilted downward while he scrolled, his neongreen hair sticking out over the back of his neck. Just seeing him made your blood boil and it hadn’t even been 24 hours since you last saw him. But still, a small, unwanted sliver of pain struck through your heart.
“Oh hey,” Aiku greeted casually with a grin as if you two didn’t spend the entirety of last night claiming to never talk again.
You don’t spare him glance.
“Why are you here, Aiku?” You asked and made your voice completely monotone as you swiped the keycard. You unlocked your door and propped it open with your foot. You leaned against the door frame and tried your best to glare intimidatingly at his smug face.
He pocketed his phone. “What’s with the sudden formalness, Y/N?” His grin only widened as he easily reached up to hold the top of the door frame before he leaned in close.
Of course it was strange to call him Aiku after so many weeks of calling him Oliver. But the events that unfolded yesterday night were unforgivable. You were so sick of his antics; you pledged to separate yourself from him forever.
You didn’t answer him.
“You’re not still mad at me are you?” He pouted with faux innocence. “C’mon, let’s kiss and make up,” Aiku half-jokingly suggested with a smirk.
“…I don’t want to make up this time, Oliver. What you did last night was fucked up,” You felt tears well up in your eyes as you looked down. “and you crossed so many boundaries that you promised you wouldn’t.”
His fingers suddenly lifted your chin up to look into your watery eyes.
“I know, I can be really mean sometimes, can’t I?” Aiku jutted his lower lip out as you hesitantly nodded. “There, there,” He cooed softly and wiped your eyes with his thumb.
And you let him comfort you. You let him dry your eyes. The same man you said you hated with everything you were just hours ago, you relished in his smallest touches.
“Feel better now, you poor thing?” Aiku gently rubbed your cheek as he leaned down closer. You knew what he was doing, and you wanted to yell and push him away, but you kept your arms by your side and began to lean in.
In silent agreement, you and Aiku met in the middle. His mouth softly captured your bottom lip as tingles erupted all over your body. Somehow the argument and sudden breakup made you crave the kiss even more, it enhanced the lightning you felt shoot down your fingertips.
You reached up and pressed your fingers into his wrist as he held your face in his hand, deepening the kiss. You shivered when the familiar taste of his tongue licked into your mouth. His touch always managed to rub the anger and frustration away before he pulled his lips back from yours.
“I promise I’ll do better this time okay?” Aiku leaned down to your level and playfully pinched your cheek. “Plus, you can’t really stay mad at me forever can you?” He smiled and gently pushed you into your dorm room before he followed after and closed the door behind him.
Every time you let him do that. Petty arguments that started from nothing, turned into fights and eventual break ups. Every time you would run away and he would always drag you back right where he wanted you. You couldn’t help that each time he found a way to capture you back into his life, you let him. You couldn’t help that you enjoyed the game of cat and mouse you and him played. He was addicting to say the least.
Tumblr media
83 notes · View notes
jannetkat99 · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hey, would you look at my new gym pants ☺️
36 notes · View notes
blackthorn-faerie · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
They’re practically snuggling 🥰
21 notes · View notes
neoneun-au · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
don't quit your day vlog
60 notes · View notes
moxiepoints · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Lee Hi's multi-tasking morning routine on On and Off
25 notes · View notes
veriken · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
E-TION | SUKHUMVIT SWIMMING
22 notes · View notes
socksandfeetvideo · 5 months
Text
507 notes · View notes
sleeping-jo · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
💀🍒
137 notes · View notes
soulinkpoetry · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Some peoples feelings have a switch. They can turn them off just like that. My heart doesn’t work that way.
.
.
30 notes · View notes
luxe-pauvre · 1 year
Quote
This felt like the natural result of having a full life, but when I thought about it I realized that the people in my life who seemed the most effective were really good at toggling between on and off. When they were doing something they were totally focused on it, and when they were done they stopped thinking about it. When they were with their friends they didn’t check their work notifications unless they knew it was urgent. When they went on vacation they actually went on vacation. The flip side of that was that they actually concentrated whenever they were working. This ties in with an American tendency I’m deeply suspicious of: the fetishization of long working hours. In SF you hear it all the time: I work 12 hours a day, 14 hours a day. I don’t take lunch breaks. In New York… don’t get me started. I think it’s true that you can sustain that kind of prolonged intensity for limited phases of time (for ex, the first crazy year or two of a startup, or during a manic burst of creativity where you’re painting through the night for a couple months) but I think for most people it’s impossible to be completely focused for 12 hours a day over the span of five years. Question one: are you focused for 12 hours a day, or are you working for 20 minutes, checking your texts, taking a coffee break, working for 25 more minutes, checking Instagram, etc etc? Question two: if you’re actually focusing for 12 hours a day every day, how much Adderall are you on? I’m just saying. Most of us don’t need to focus 12 hours a day, but we still feel the pressure to perform constant productivity. Which leads to a lot of time appearing productive that’s actually diluted, half-hearted time where you’re not actually getting very much done.
Ava, on and off
24 notes · View notes
xashtray · 2 years
Text
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I wish this could stop. I wish I could reach out. I wish I could take your hands. I wish I could talk and listen. I wish I could function. I hate this and I hate myself for doing this. I really hate myself for being like this. I want this to stop, I do, I really do. But I'm so sorry, I have believed that I am better off alone. I have learnt my whole life that my loneliness is my only friend. That being alone means nobody hurts me and I hurt nobody. It's not that I thought you would hurt me, it's just I have been scared of everyone and everything for a long time. I'm scared of being left alone and abandoned and I believe that it's better if I walk away first. And that makes me being the one leaving, so it will hurt less for me. I'm sorry for not reaching out. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I'm sorry. I really am.
85 notes · View notes