#once again: this is not an attack on people who reblogged that because it WAS meant to be well-meaning and i KNOW it was just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caxycreations · 5 months

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Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

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ashenberry · 2 years

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is it normal to be expected to know what your mutuals mutual-in-laws are reblogging

#saw a callout once that was like “I know y’all can see this 🧍‍♂️“ and it was like. No? some have me blocked even #I think there’s even a large chunk who don’t know their own mutuals in law and like fair! I don’t know most of mine #and it wouldn’t be like. r/dfm/ or f/sh/ct it would be like. a funnyman blog #not that they’re free of counterversy or havent done horrible things some of them are :youpunchedmyballs:#but also your attacking someone because they follow someone who follows someone who #Followed someone who reblogged the popular post currently making the rounds #AGAIN I saw this like once but it was weird #post that make people in the discord go ashen how do you find this shit well they were a popular aa blog #also turning off reblogs cause I don’t want this to go anywhere 👍

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maidragoste · 5 months

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Chapter Two: A United Front

The Hunger Games AU

Katniss!Jacaerys x Peeta!Reader

Chapter One

First of all, thank you very much for all the support that the first chapter had! It made me really happy to see every comment and reblog, it really motivated me to continue writing 🥰🥰

Please let me know again what you thought of this chapter in the comments, as always, likes and reblogs are appreciated too 💖💖

My inbox is open so I'm always willing to read your headcanons, opinions and answer your questions.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.

Jacaerys was irritated. Firstly, because it is evident that you had already begun to play in front of the cameras since when you two arrived at the train station you did not bother to hide your tears, you probably thought that perhaps this way you could get a sponsor or else your strategy was to show yourself weak and like an easy prey to later fight in the arena. That's what Sabitha Vypren, from District 7, had done in her games.

The second reason for his irritation was his uncle. Larys hadn't said a word to him since before the Repair or even now that they were on the train heading to the Capitol. This was supposed to be the time for them to prepare strategies together, for Larys to give them advice on surviving the arena, but his uncle seemed more focused on enjoying the pork chops and mashed potatoes. Jacaerys was also eating, he was ready to eat everything he could to gain the most muscle mass before the games started, but now and then he would stop and stare at Larys hoping that at some point his uncle would decide to speak.

“So, what do we have to do for Jacaerys to win?” you asked, breaking the silence and making him choke.

You were the first to react, you quickly got up and started hitting him on the back until he finally spit out the piece of meat. Effie looked at him with disgust.

"Are you okay?" you asked, looking at him with concern and now caressing his back. Jacaerys noticed how his uncle looked at the two of them with interest. He had no idea why, neither of you two had done anything extraordinary, he made a fool of himself by choking and you ran to save him…Well, I had to admit that your action was striking, someone else would have let him die by drowning to have one less competitor in the arena, not only that but you just said that you wanted to help him win. It didn't make sense… Unless it was another strategy to gain his trust only to then stab him in the back in the arena.

"I'm fine," Jacaerys responded, putting his hand on your arm to stop your caresses. You blushed and moved away from him as if you had been burned by his touch. “What do you mean by that you said earlier?” he asked you once you sat back down.

"You have a chance to win, Jacaerys," you declared as if it were obvious. Evidently, he couldn't hide his confusion because you continued talking "You know how to hunt and you have good aim. Every time my father buys you squirrels he says that the arrow always hits the eye, you never ruin the body" the boy felt the heat rise to his face at your words and he was sure he was blushing because suddenly you seemed to be stopping yourself from smiling. "So if either of us has a chance of winning it's you. I'll probably be one of the first to die but I think I can be of help in the interview" you said the last thing looking at Larys.

Jacaerys felt his appetite disappear. It didn't sit well with him to hear you talk as if you were already resigned to dying. "She's got a good right hook," he said, looking at his uncle. He couldn't let Larys give up on you quickly, if you lost his interest then he surely wouldn't bother trying to help you win. "Lucerys told me. She hit a boy who was bothering him and gave that idiot a black eye."

"Jacaerys, I won't be able to win just by hitting people. Besides, there are surely tributes even bigger than that boy, they will attack me before I can even land a hit on him."

For a moment he had the image of an unknown tribute mercilessly attacking you with a sword before you had the chance to defend yourself. His stomach fluttered at the image of your broken body.

"You, on the other hand, can attack from afar with your bow. If you hide well you can have an advantage" you continued and went back to eating without realizing that your companion was looking at you with a frown.

Your attitude was irritating him. You should have been trying to impress Larys by saying what other things you can do but instead, you keep talking about him. It did not make sense. It had to be a strategy or maybe you were thinking it was a lost cause to try to win the games by having him as a district partner and his uncle as his mentor. You probably believed that Larys would choose to put all the chips on him just because he was his nephew. That made him furious.

"She can lift weights. I saw her lifting sacks of flour"

You suddenly dropped the cutlery sharply on the table. "Enough, Jacaerys," the annoyance was evident on your face and in your voice. "Don't try to make me feel good just out of pity, please. I know I'm going to lose. Everyone knows that." "You made a gesture with your hand to let you continue talking when you saw him open his mouth." Do you know what my mother told me when she came to say goodbye to me? There may finally be another winner in 12. She wasn't talking about me" you said looking into his eyes.

Everyone knew that your mother was a witch but Jacaerys never imagined that she would be one with her own daughter. It was cruel to tell you that when perhaps it could be her last talk. She should have faith in you. Or at least give you the benefit of the doubt. He wanted to comfort you but he had no idea what to say. Besides, he didn't think his uncle would be happy if he saw him being nice to you. He would tell her that he was weak and that he didn't come here to make friends.

So Jace settled for looking into your eyes, hoping that you could somehow understand that he didn't want you to give up.

"Oh, darling, that's horrible," Effie said, breaking the tension between the two of you, placing a hand on her heart, she seemed genuinely moved. "I think you should try hard to win and prove your mother wrong."

You didn't say anything, you just gave a sad smile to the district escort. A moment ago Jacaerys felt bad for you but now he can't help but think that maybe you only told your last conversation with your mother to gain Effie's sympathy and get her to talk about you to her friends in the Capitol. He hated analyzing everything you did but he couldn't let his guard down with you if he wanted to go home to his brothers. He was sure that if Lucerys was with him and could see what was going on in her mind he would tell him that he was being paranoid. But maybe it wasn't wrong for him to doubt you, Jace thought when he noticed that Uncle Larys seemed to be evaluating you with his gaze.

“Let's start to see who his competitors are,” Larys finally spoke, ending the dinner.

Jacaerys was relieved to see that your stylist had put you in an outfit just like his, at least if he ended up making a fool of himself at the parade he wouldn't be the only one. You're wearing the same shiny leather boots and the same full-length black leotard with the cloak that flutters in the wind. The only difference between the two of you was that your suit seemed closer to your body, highlighting your curves.

As you are taken to the lower level of the Renewal Center, Portia, your stylist, along with her team can't stop talking excitedly about what a sensation you two will be. Cinna, Jacaerys' stylist who came up with the idea of setting their outfits on fire, seems tired of the congratulations. Jace couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he, too, was nervous that it wouldn't work and would end with them dead. You didn't look nervous, which shouldn't surprise him considering you were probably used to fire since he worked at the bakery.

Once they arrive, they basically find a giant stable. The opening ceremony is about to begin so the stylists are having their tributes ride into carriages pulled by a group of horses. Cinna and Portia lead you and Jacaerys to their carriage, both of them carefully arranging the posture of the two of your bodies and your cloaks before stepping aside to talk something between themselves.

“What do you think of the fire?” Jacaerys asked you in a whisper. He tells himself that he's just talking to you to distract himself from his nerves.

“At least we're not naked,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. Jacaerys grimaces as he remembers those poor tributes who had to parade naked covered in black dust. It had happened years before his uncle became a victor, the only reason why everyone knew about that incident was because whenever the games approached on television they did a recap of the best kills, the best dressed as well as the worst deaths and the worst dresses. In the latter, those poor tributes always appeared.

“Uncle Larys definitely wouldn't have let that happen. He probably would have hit them with his cane as soon as they told him that idea,” Jace said with a small smile as he imagined his uncle hitting the stylists and scolding them. You must have imagined the same thing too because you started laughing. Your laughter was contagious so he soon joined you, feeling his nerves disappear for a moment as well as the heaviness in his shoulders. Cinna and Portia will probably be upset that you two lost your posture but neither you nor Jacaerys seemed worried about it.

"If something goes wrong I promise to take out your cloak while you take out mine," you said trying to get serious again but from the corner of your lips, it was evident that you wanted to smile.

"Deal," he agreed with a small smile.

Jace's calm demeanor disappeared the moment he saw his uncle. He tensed as he watched him walk towards the carriage, ready to feel his eyes judging him and scolding him for acting like a child. His uncle was right to be angry, now the other tributes would see them as weak and stupid.

"I want you to present yourself as a united front," Larys said, surprising his nephew.

"What?"

"If you want to win then you have to do everything I say" the mentor reminded them "So you will go out, hold hands, and greet the audience" In his tone of voice there was no room for discussion but Jacaerys had many questions. He couldn't do any of them because when started playing the opening music Larys headed for the exit.

"Come on, don't look so upset. It's not like I have scabies," you nudged him. If he hadn't been focused on seeing the tributes from District 1 in his glowing robes then he would have noticed how the sparkle in your eyes seemed to have dimmed.

It's not many minutes before you and Jacaerys are near the doors. As the District 11 tributes leave, Cinna appears with a torch. You and Jace don't have time to back away when the stylist turns on both of your cloaks. The three of them sigh in relief when they see that it worked.

“Remember head up and smile. Oh, don't forget the most important thing, hold hands. They're going to love you!" Cinna quickly tells them before getting out of the carriage.

Jacaerys hesitates before taking your left hand. Unlike him, you don't hesitate to intertwine your fingers with his. You give him one last smile before his carriage enters the city. The crowd seems alarmed at first when they see the fire but then they soon begin shouting both their names. Jace can't help but feel overwhelmed by the feeling of everyone's eyes on him so he focuses on staring at the screen. For a moment he is breathless, the two of you look wonderful, especially you look brilliant as you wave and blow kisses to the crowd. In the low light of twilight, the fire illuminates both of your faces and your cloaks seem to leave a trail of flames behind. Cinna got what he wanted and gave you both a chance, no one would forget about you two, you really made a sensation.

You squeeze Jacaerys's hand and remind him under your breath to “Smile.”

Then he tries his best to give his best smile and starts greeting you. Someone among all these people must have wanted to sponsor him. This was an excellent opportunity to win over the audience and he had to take advantage of it. He remembers the words of his uncle Larys, so he raises their joined hands, making the screams increase even more. When they enter the City Circle they lower their hands but neither you nor Jace try to let go. During President Snow's speech, Jacaerys is distracted by feeling you caress his skin with your thumb, he tries not to think about it too much, he tells himself that you must be nervous and you do it unconsciously. Luckily it doesn't take long for the national anthem to be heard and the carriages travel around the circle for the last time. Jacaerys notices that the screens seem to show you two more than the other tributes.

He finishes confirming that it was not his imagination once you arrive at the Training Center and get off your carriages. As Cinna and Portia remove their cloaks, you and Jacaerys notice the angry glances of the other tributes, especially Royce Baratheon, the burly boy from District 2 who volunteered, and his district partner Agatha Durrandon.

Jace notices that the two of you are still holding hands so he lets you go.

"The flames suit you well and you have a beautiful smile" you declared with a smile making him blush.

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azure-cherie · 4 months

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☀︎︎𝑃𝐴𝐶 : 𝑆𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 ☀︎︎

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Hey there guys , I hope y'all are having a lovely time so for this PAC

THE CONCEPT is in this pile i call upon one of your ancestors to narrate a story from their life so that you can learn something from it or just get the Ancestral tea ☕ .

Reblogs and feedback are highly appreciated !!!!

Want a personal reading: Paid readings , Paid readings 2

Masterlist

Choose using your intuition, you can choose multiple and take what resonates and leave the rest . Since this is a general reading take what resonates and leave the rest .

Pile 1 :

My dear pile 1 , i hope you're doing well

Some charms for confirmations and messages: Maple leaf , moon , bicycle , trumpet , tortoise, panther , yantra symbol , peacock , camel , flower wings , infinity symbol, clown , lantern. Some numbers : might be age , year or era ; 5,1,6,5,7 ; some initials : K , L , I , Q .

Who will I be channeling : The Empress card they could be a very nourishing female who was well regarded in their family , they were a queen , princess , authority , they married rich . They were really a successful and kind women

They want to tell you a story about : Strength , how they were courageous

Once upon a time in your ancestry , born in either Mongolian , Chinese , French or Italian roots , your ancestors were regarded as inventors of something creative , they liked romance a lot , they wanted to keep the fire in themselves alive , they could be cavemen and drew various types of architectural plans , for some buildings , could be of Moroccan descent , you had a very big family , the head of the family was a very nice man , your ancestor was the head of the family as well , as the wife of your male ancestor , she also was a very creative person , made antiques and stored them , was regarded as one of the bad bitches of that era, and everyone wanted to marry her , though she broke many hearts she married your male ancestor , they lived really happily until there was some , war in your place and some things were burned down in your place or in your home , the fire could be symbolic as well , they were left with no choice then to sacrifice themselves . Either they sacrificed themselves or something that belongs to them . I think some of your family history also burned along with the fire , could be representative of also fury of old powerful people lurking into your family wellbeing .

Through the course of wheel of fortune ,there was a change because of a smart person in your bloodline who really finally crafted a way to rise again , this could be your ancestor herself or some other person from your family I get the vibe of the sister in law , or an aunt . Because of that you were capable , your ancestors could be into herbal medicine or Ayurveda . Your ancestors helped the poor a lot and conducted lots of charity . They either had a rabbit or a furry animal by their side , the pet was one of the legacies and the pet really protected , could be a dog as well , if cat they protected from spiritual attacks .

Your ancestors later became the leader of some organization , and they were some sort of vigilante and served everyone with justice , were one of the most powerful . One of the next generation male member sore really high and was regarded , they gave everyone a head start at creative potential , they rose again from what hurt them , they later settled in some colder place probably .

There could be some curse due to which your family went into hiding , because the son of the empress was a vigilante they rose again and built up after moving places , they brought lands and could be the family was travelling , that could mean some hippie ancestors for some of you , and it could also be someone wanted to move places , lastly your ancestor went on a spiritual journey , the empress went on a quest to find herself and was looking into a peaceful life

She wanted to tell you about this lesson of strength , that no matter what happens you should go on , also they wanted to tell you that if you want something good in life you must also leave something , to understand the value of sacrifice , despite the hardships she went on a quest , her main aim to wait was to see her family well and after she was done she was ready to leave , this story might also be about detachment .she wants to tell you that though everything is nice , if you feel you're missing something , you must go after it , and that’s how your soul will feel happy

Pile 2 :

My dear pile 2 , hope you're doing well

Some charms for confirmations and messages: Fox , mermaid tail , shell, angel, coconut tree , crescent moon , sun , kangaroo, wine bottle . Some numbers : might be age , year or era ; 7,2,9,2 ; some initials : R,U,O.

Who will I be channeling : Ace of swords ,could be a warrior , they were really courageous , free thinker .

They want to tell you a story about : Page of coins , of abundance of a bright future

Once upon a time there was a break in your family because of lot of disagreements , everyone fought each other or just left their own ways , this could be about middle eastern , desert areas , ancient India , Mediterranean , there was lot of conquest , here comes about your grandmother or just a women in your family who was a psychic , she wanted everyone to be together , that lead to the family coming back together because she made everyone thinking she was sick , they later came to know she wasn’t ,

She realized there was someone was casting a spell for your family to break apart , your ancestor already had the vibe , and they worked hard to let it into their heads , might have conducted an uncrossing spell to get rid of the damage , the spell came from a family member who was obsessed with money and wanted to keep everything to themselves , your ancestor wanted to keep everyone safe and happy , and because of their good deeds things were right , there were minor issues but because your grandmother was so observant and a psychic , the family didn’t break and was happy . They kept lot of optimism.

They wanted to tell you this because you are having self-doubts about your abilities or judging people without knowing the whole story , listen more to your intuition , you're reaching conclusions without thinking and analyzing things properly and they wanted to let you know that . I picked another card , so they tell you to take rest and not think too much .

This is actually really cool because I was about to start pile 3 but I couldn't remember the image , haha they want to tell you one more story woah , this could either be for the same group or this story might not be for you , use your intuition

This is about a situation where they had both of their hands tied , they were people putting allegations onto them and they wanted to about sometimes to get forward you'll have to lose something , you have to work hard and put all in , you shouldn’t run , things may become severe but know that youre stronger , don’t run away , you must hope for the best because only then it comes to you , being emotionally connected is a blessing , never take your own emotions for granted

They served a king or a higher authority could've worked as warriors or oracles of their place , they were considered very courageous , this could also be someone from Salem witch trials , there's lot of fire as well as witch symbolism , so I feel this could be it , they revolted a lot against the men who were capturing them . There was someone who was so in love with your ancestors and tried to save her , she tried and got away though it was painful , they came together and lived happily ever after , this story could also go about some Brazilian , Hawaiian , ancestry .

They wanted to tell you this as a sign that hope can be found even after most gut wrenching times .

Pile 3 :

My dear pile 3 hope you're doing well

Some charms for confirmations and messages: fish , elephant, gun , cap , shell , infinity symbol, witch , cat . Some numbers : might be age , year or era ; 9,8,2 ; some initials : M, A . Please check pile 2 if you were drawn

Who will I be channeling: Knight of wands adventurous, enigmatic person

They want to tell you a story about : The Sun , of fame and dignity

Once upon a time there was someone who was a miser and wanted your ancestor to be wed off , just so they could get rid of your ancestor , they thought your ancestor was a crooked person , who wanted to be reckless all the time , they didn’t appreciate your ancestors free spirit at all , the guardian showed they were happy but they wanted to destroy the life of your ancestor , your ancestors might have been kept hostage or had an evil step parent for some of you .

Someone could have died or poisoned , the husband of your ancestor was very supportive , the guardian didn’t like it , someone might have told that to your guardian , or higher authority , only to cut the wings of your ancestor , she yet lived with happiness because she was actively practicing freedom and was loved and supported by her husband , I think she wanted to be in a higher position , in education or in the swordsmanship sector , this could go back to Europe , in the renaissance period , haha your reading is reminding me of the anime called " Arte " .

She was shown love because fate turned her life around This reminds me of " My happy marriage " (anime).

There could be a lot of jealousy shown to her by the men around, the neighbor's , but your ancestor was always rising higher , there could be someone who sabotaged her telling her that she's a bad person , she payed no mind to them , she became one of the greatest of her times , swordsman , merchant . This could also be in the education sector , they became highly educated , just saw 333 might be significant to you .

They were abundant and happy , they later became a teacher in their sector , kids loved them a lot , probably rose to nobility , were honored as a survivor and a riser .

They want to tell you this story to make you believe in the power of love , though its mostly about bravery her husband helped her get through a lot of it , she wants to show how if you take a chance in love , love can be good for you . Though her arranged marriage was scary things turned out for the better so will it turn out for you , keep the belief , I got one more card , they also wanted you to let go of your mentality that everything will go bad trust that good things will happen to you , if you hit the rock bottom you can only go higher do what you need to do

The back of the deck is Empress , how sweet is it that the pile 1 started with empress and you're finishing at it , you come from line of very powerful women who worked so much for their dreams they're always here for you just call upon them . I see 555 as I conclude can be significant for you.

Thank you so much for reading have a great day/night 🧡

#pick a card tarot #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #tarot pac #pac reading #pac readings #pac tarot #pac #tarot card reading #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #intuitive tarot reading

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upsidedownwithsteve · 2 months

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A message.

I’d like to start by saying once more (due to it being the cause of so many hateful messages) that I support Palestine.

I donate to charities that fund several of the organisations that help and I use my business in the best way I can to give my services for free to fundraisers that also raise money for these causes. Shy of showing you my personal bank statements and private emails between myself and my clients, I don’t have any ways of showing this on tumblr.

I have several social media platforms, I have a business that I run, I have friends and family I talk to, I have an entire life off of this website. I choose to use tumblr to post my writing and for the most part, it’s become a really important space for me. Writing is one of the few things I truly do for myself. I enjoy it immensely and it can really bring me a lot of peace.

I choose not to blog anything other my writing, other people’s writing and general fandom related things on my blog because I like to keep it as that small space for myself and one of the things I love most. I understand wholly that that is a privilege in itself and I will not shy away from that fact.

However, I will not condone being hunted for the choices I make. For the vast majority of you, I am a stranger online and no one, absolutely no one, knows what I do off of this website. I won’t allow anyone to judge me on what they don’t see and don’t understand.

The size of my following was not a choice I made, it was not something I deliberately aimed for and it was not something I tried hard to make sure I achieved. It wasn’t the goal of this blog. I don’t deem myself capable of “influencing” anyone in anyway. I’m a fanfiction writer. I’m not a politician, I don’t claim to be the most educated person on political and worldwide matters. I simply would like to believe that everyone tries to help in anyway they can. I know not everyone has the financial means to donate and instead they choose to raise awareness in other ways - that’s absolutely okay.

But I - and others - do not have to follow the rule book someone else deemed law. You see, I gave my views and reasons and it wasn’t good enough. And now, if I chose to reblog certain things, I’m pretty sure I’d be dragged for being performative, or “back tracking.” I fear that with some people, who like to hide behind an anonymous button, I cannot win. Despite an argument revolving around real life issues, I think I can safely say it came across as a very personal attack.

As other people have mentioned before, I also don’t enjoy the idea of writing smut and happy ever after’s about our favourite fictional men and then reblogging the death of others in real life straight after. I know that’s the world right now. I’m aware. I read articles, I watch the news, I follow accounts on Twitter, on Instagram and I try and keep myself as up to date and as educated as possible. I just don’t show that on this one platform.

As many of you know, I do run my own business. I’m also five months pregnant. I’m definitely experiencing more stress than I usually do. I’m very happy and enjoying my pregnancy immensely but I struggled with sickness and tiredness for the majority of it so far. Whats to come in the next four months and beyond fills me with excitement and anxiety and nerves. Coming onto tumblr and writing about fiction is a little reprieve from that - again, a privilege I am so aware of.

But I won’t be tolerating any more hateful messages, I won’t be arguing with anyone. I’m not lowering myself to it. You can talk about me passively aggressively, you can choose to hate me, that’s fine. I’m happy blocking people and moving on. Anons will be off indefinitely, it’s been proven that too many people are willing to hide behind them. After the messages regarding myself and my unborn child, quite frankly, there’s not a lot of trust left when it comes to knowing how far people will sink.

I’ve said all I’d like to say on the matter, I’ve told people where I stand, my views on the genocide that is occurring, what I’m able to do about it in my personal life and why I choose to keep this particular space the way I do.

I hope everyone can try to understand and respect that. If you don’t, that’s fine, that’s your prerogative. I don’t go out of my way to challenge, or police, or demand things from people I do not know. I hope that no one thinks that they have the right to do that to myself and others. I’m under no obligation to follow someone else’s rules.

I don’t know what the future holds for this blog, pregnancy and real life is very much taking priority over writing at the moment, but I do like to try when I can. I can’t lie either, the messages and their content that I received really left me feeling dejected and frustrated, this fandom really has turned into something rather poisonous. I’d like to be able to rise above it and in the mean time, even if I’m not always present, I’d like people to be able to access the stories I worked really hard on.

Thank you for reading,

Emmy 🧡

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valeskafics · 10 months

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"Warm Bodies" - Modern Zombie!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

a/n: inspiration credit to the lovely @aemondx 🥰❤️

Summary: A is in the middle of a "no-life" crisis when he meets you. And it changes everything.

TW: profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, zombies, zombies eating brains, gun violence, scurrrry situations, monster fuccin lol, fingering, p in v sex, unprotected sex

Word Count: 3,500 words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated ❤️

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doing with my life. I see my reflection as I trudge through the building that once used to be… Seven hells, what is this, maybe an airport? Fuck, I look so pale. I should really get out more.

What’s wrong with me? I just want to connect. Why can’t I connect with people?

Oh, right. Because I’m dead. It really shouldn’t be so hard on me, right? I mean, practically everyone in this fucking airport is dead. That guy in the corner, snacking on some brains? Dead. This girl who has massive tits - those had to have been fake - dead. This guy in the corner is definitely dead.

I’d introduce myself, but I can’t remember what the fuck my name is. It started with an A, but really, that’s all I’ve got. I can’t remember my name, my work. I kind of remember my dad. He looked a bit like I do now. Like a zombie. Anyway, sometimes I try to look at other zombies and try to guess what they were when they were alive. That girl looks like she was an influencer, probably. That guy? Personal trainer. Now, he’s the body.

A lot of us zombies live in this airport. I have a best friend here, or the closest thing a dead guy can have to a best friend. I think his name started with a C, or at least that’s what he managed to tell me. He was probably a decent looking guy when he was alive. Probably got all the girls. Not like me. I’m missing an eye. I think I lost it when I was still alive. Maybe it was how I died? Who the fuck knows.

I sit next to C and grunt to him, and he grunts back, and we face each other. The extent of our friendship. Sometimes we manage to say one or two words. “Hunger.” “City.” Pretty much just talking about food.

Today feels different, somehow. Well, maybe it’s just cuz I’m in a different part of the airport. That’s when a group of humans crosses my path. When I see you for the first time. You’re so beautiful, your hair pulled back to show off your gorgeous features, your bright eyes, your cheekbones, the curve of your lips. I feel so weird. Something feels funny in my chest. Warm. And then I realize. My heart… It just started to beat again? But wait… Why are you leaving? I watch as you separate from your group, a pang of sadness in my heart that’s just now started to beat again. Please don’t go… I try to walk toward you, my arms reaching out for you, but one of the humans you’re with sees me, and before I can do anything, he begins shooting at me, a couple of bullets lodging themselves in my chest. I frown before attacking him, tackling him with ease despite being way slower, and bite into his neck, making his death as quick as possible. Then, I start to eat his brains.

Eating brains is the thing that helps me feel the closest being alive. I experience people’s memories as I eat them. And right now? I’m experiencing, apparently, your boyfriend’s memories.

Well, I guess he’s an ex now…

I see you, smiling up at him when he kisses you for the first time, when he makes love to you for the first time - the cute little noises you make, the first time he says I love you and you say it back. Taking him to meet your dad - wow, this guy looks like a hardass. He’s really giving the poor dead guy the third degree. You’re so beautiful, I need you in my life. Well, is it even really a life? Whatever.

As I finish eating, that’s when I hear a voice that I now know to be you screaming. I move as fast as I can, which really isn’t very fast and follow what I now know to be your scent. Shit, you smell nice. Kinda like… Jasmine and vanilla? You’re hiding in a supply closet, and you look terrified when I open the door. I feel so bad for scaring you, but I need you to know that I mean you no harm. I hold my hand out to you, you need my help and I’m here now. I scare the other zombies away before turning back to you, doing my best to smile and show you that I’m a friend.

You look up at me, confused as I extend my hand to you again. You look around, scrambling backward, holding your arms out in front of you.

“Please don’t eat me, please don’t eat me,” you whisper repeatedly.

You’re terrified, and it makes me feel awful. I should walk away, but I can’t leave you. Well, no, I could. But I don’t want to. I move down on one knee, kneeling in front of you, moving a hand to touch your cheek. It’s so warm and soft and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. You scrunch your eyes shut at my touch and the thought of that hurts my feelings a little bit, but I have this overwhelming urge to pull you into my arms and kiss you.

Probably not a good idea on account of me being a zombie.

Nevertheless, I lean in, startling you since you’re unsure of what’s going through my head. I probably look terrifying to you, with my missing eye. I did try to put a sapphire in its place that I found at the mall. I wonder if you think it’s pretty as you stare up at me.

You panic and squirm out of my grip as I lean in, “Whoa, hey, back up!”

Your reaction stings and I move my hand from your face. I instead move it to your hand. I want to make you comfortable. I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe from others like me. I take your hand in mine, so soft and warm, and squeeze gently, trying to convey with an awkward grimace everything I want to say, everything that comes out as a low grunt or groan. You finally seem to come to the realization that I’m not a threat and tilt your head to the side in confusion.

“I… You’re not like other zombies, are you?” you ask curiously.

I nod at you eagerly, managing to say two words, “Protect… You…”

I hold both your hands in mine, gazing at you. I want to tell you everything about myself and learn everything about you. I’m pretty sure this is what love is. Your eyes, the way you smell, your voice. It’s all so beautiful. You are beautiful, and I’m infatuated.

“Can you help me get out of here?” you ask me softly.

I nod again. I want to help you more than anything, to have you by my side for the rest of my life. Gods, I sound like a loser, but I don’t care. I extend my arms to lift you up, like the princess you are, but you shake your head vehemently, saying that you can walk. I want to ask why you’re still so scared of me. I feel kind of insulted, in all honesty. Here I am, trying to help you, willing to do anything for you, and this is how you want to treat me? I back away from you, frowning slightly. I still want to help you, but I don’t feel like being particularly nice to you right now.

Then, I feel you tug on the sleeve of my hoodie, looking up at me with panicked, apologetic eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Please don��t be sad?”

I turn back toward you, my emotions going up and down like a rollercoaster, my annoyance and hurt instantly vanishing, giving way to affection for you. I just want to take care of you, I can’t help it. Then you ask the question I’ve been fearing.

“The guy I was with, do you know what happened to him?”

“I… Ate…” I say sheepishly.

Hey, it was self defense, you can’t really blame me for it, right? I slowly lead you toward your boyfriend’s body, seeing your eyes go wide with horror. Fuck, this is all my fault. I feel terrible. But then, you look at me and speak awkwardly.

“Um, the bullet holes in your shirt. He was shooting at you, right? It was self defense.”

Fuck, you’re smart too. I’m in love. It’s official.

I then realize, his blood would be a good way to disguise your scent when I get you out of here.

Your perfect, sweet scent-

Stop it, A. You have a job to do.

I move my hand and gather some of his blood, pressing it to your face, explaining as best as I can what I’m doing, “Hide… Smell…”

You nod in understanding and I continue my task, watching your eyes flutter shut at my touch. You have such long eyelashes-

FOCUS, A!

I gesture for you to follow me when I’m done, looking at you and exaggerating the slowness of my movements. You appear to understand and start doing your best impersonation of a zombie as you walk.

You follow me all the way to the apartment building where I live- well, I’m not alive so I don’t really live here, but semantics, right?

“So this is where you live?” you ask me, trying to make conversation now that we’re out of harm’s way.

I nod, gesturing for you to enter, managing to rasp out, “Welcome.”

“Thanks,” you smile at me, “Nice digs.”

I lead you to my room, or, well, the closest thing I have to a room. It has a bed, a chair, a lamp, and some other things. It’s not exactly the Ritz Carlton, but I appreciate you not being a pretentious jerk about it.

“Does the water here work?” you ask after a moment, “I’d like to shower, you know, my dead boyfriend’s blood off of me,” you say, a little awkwardly.

Fuck, you’re cute.

“Thanks,” you smile at me, then you tell me your name.

I think it’s the prettiest sound I have ever heard. I already knew your name, of course, from your boyfriend’s memories, but hearing you say it, in front of me, is something completely different.

“Pretty…” I manage to grunt, earning a grin from you.

“Thanks! What’s your name?” I shrug at your question, indicating to you that I don’t remember before grabbing a book from my shelf, pointing at the letter A on it, getting excited when your eyes light up in realization, “A. It’s nice to meet you, A. Thank you for saving me.”

You disappear into the bathroom and I stare after you for a minute, feeling a warm sensation coming over me. I glance in the mirror and see that I’m… Blushing? I don’t have blood. This shouldn’t be possible. I shake my head and sit down on my bed, waiting for you to come out. And when you do, I can’t do anything but stare at you, covered by just a flimsy little towel. Was I a virgin or something when I died, because I swear, I’ve never felt like this before. You’re so gorgeous, I think, as I hand you a shirt, which you take with a smile. You return to the bathroom and change, coming back out wearing my shirt. Well, I mean, I stole it, but again, semantics. It hits your mid-thigh and you look so goddamn cute. Irresistible, really.

I gesture to you to come closer to me, and you just look at me, a confused expression on that pretty face as you ask, “Yeah?”

I sigh, or, at least try to, pulling you close to me, holding you by the waist. I want to feel your body against me. I want to embrace you, to kiss you. I just want you. My eye moves down to your lips before meeting yours again. I love you. I want to be with you. I can’t help myself from what I do next. I press my lips against yours. Mine must feel so cold to you, but yours are warm and soft and perfect. My infatuation with you is turning into an addiction, I realize, intense and overwhelming, my only thought being how much I need you.

I’m mildly horrified when you panic and pull away, mumbling, “Whoa whoa whoa, you can’t just kiss people like that!”

I thought you’d like that, but clearly you didn’t. I feel embarrassed, like I want to die all over again. I look at you, my remaining eye sad, but a bit angry too.

“Sorry…” I manage to groan, frowning and staring at the floor.

And you surprise me again with how sweet you are, “No, it’s um… You were probably just excited to see a human girl, it’s okay.”

Not just any human girl.

You.

Maybe you’d like me better if I could talk. I’m going to try to talk more. I look toward you, extending my arms, trying to hold you like I did a few minutes ago.

I say your name and then add after a moment, “Want… You…”

You look at me, somewhat pained as you speak, “A… My boyfriend just died today, I’m sorry…”

Are you… Rejecting me? My heart feels completely broken and a wave of sadness comes over me as I drop my arms. I feel something wet on my face and realize that I’m crying. Shit, I must look like such a loser.

“Oh, no, please don’t cry,” you say, moving to wrap your arms around me, comforting me.

Shit, it just makes me like you even more. Even though you rejected me, you’re so sweet and compassionate. I hug you again, burying my face in your chest as I continue to cry. You don’t want me the way I want you. And it hurts so badly. Then, you ask the million dollar question.

“Wait, how are you crying? You’re a zombie…”

Everything’s changed ever since I met you. It’s pathetic, but I’m completely obsessed with you. You made my cold, dead heart start beating again. You made me blush. And now, you’ve made me cry. Now, I feel my cheeks flush again as you hold me, running a hand through my hair. I just want to feel your warmth, your love in whatever way you’re willing to give it. I hug you even tighter, nuzzling my face into your warm, soft-

Oh. Shit.

This is one part I did not miss about being alive. I hope you don’t notice the way my pants have suddenly gotten tighter after rubbing up against you and just continue to hold you, until you squeak out.

“Okay, um, kinda crushing me now, dude.”

“Sorry…” I groan, hoping the apology sounds sincere - being a zombie sucks, I can’t put any inflection into anything I say, fuck this.

“You’re all good,” you smile at me, “Hey, any chance there’s some human food around here? I’m really hungry.”

I nod, leading you to the kitchen, grabbing a box of cereal for you, “Food.”

“Holy shit, Cap’n Crunch,” you grin excitedly, “I haven’t had this since before the world went to shit!”

“My… Favorite,” I grunt.

“Mine too!” you say excitedly as you begin to wolf down your food, moaning as you do.

Moaning. Dammit, why do you have to do that? I feel myself blush and my blood run to other places, now that it’s flowing again in my body. This is literally the worst possible time this could’ve happened to me.

“Cap’n Crunch is literally like an orgasm in your mouth,” you begin rambling about how much you love the cereal, and I sit there, listening to you, enjoying the way your lips move as you form words, smiling like a lovestruck idiot.

You glance outside and sigh, mumbling something about how you need to get back to your camp. I shake my head, immediately grabbing your hand, pleading with you.

“Not safe. Too many Zombies.”

It’s becoming easier to talk, I realize, the longer I’m with you. You look at me and then nod in agreement. You’re going to stay with me. I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my entire- life? Un-life? Fuck being a zombie.

I sit down on the bed and gesture for you to come sit next to me, holding my hand out to you. You take a seat beside me, closer than before, which makes me happy. My heart is racing at how close you are to me, my feelings for you getting stronger with each second that passes.

I love you.

I hold my hand out to you again, causing you to give me a questioning look, “Yeah?”

I blush, “Hand. Want to… Hold hands.”

You look at me, a soft, tender expression on your face as you slowly take my hand. I feel elated. You actually are holding my hand. I gently stroke the back of your hand with my thumb as I look into your eyes. And then, I kiss you again. And this time, you don’t stop me. I moan against your lips, saying your name, words becoming easier and easier to say the longer I’m with you. I move my hands to your hips, holding you close. I need you so badly.

You pull back for a second before speaking softly, “I shouldn’t.”

“Please,” I rasp, “I’m begging.”

Your eyes go wide with the relative ease with which I’m speaking now, “You… Huh?”

“I’m begging,” I repeat, “I love you.”

You stare at me, confused, “You… Love me?”

“Now you… Sound like a… Zombie,” I joke at the way your speech is slightly stilted.

You roll your eyes at me, “Thanks, A. Such a charmer.”

I shrug, making you laugh again as I kiss you, gently pushing you down to lay beneath me on the bed. You seem a little surprised, but you make no move to stop me as I remove my hoodie, then my pants. You glance down at me, now completely bare to you, eyes wide with shock at the fact that I’m actually hard for you. I lean in and kiss you again, murmuring your name against your lips, pushing my shirt up to your waist, baring your lower half to me. My eye goes wide with delight, because fuck, you’re so beautiful. I slide your underwear down your waist before teasing you with one of my fingers, loving how warm and wet and soft you feel around me, the little whimpers of my name you let out.

Everything with you feels so perfect, so natural. I feel more alive than ever as I begin pumping my fingers in and out of you, moaning as you squeeze around me, thinking of how you’ll feel when I make love to you. Shit, I mean, when I fuck you? That sounds crass. I’m sticking with make love.

Your hand moves to my wrist, urging me to move faster and faster until I feel you coming on my fingers. Your hand moves to my cock, giving it a slow pump before guiding me toward you, letting out a sweet little cry as I push inside you. You feel so fucking perfect around me, squeezing me like that, looking up at me with those hooded eyes, the ones that tell me that you want me like I want you.

“I love you too, A,” you whisper as I begin to move my hips against yours, your words spurring me on as I begin to speak.

“I love you so much,” I rasp, feeling you clenching around me impossibly tight, “So pretty. So sweet. All mine.”

“All yours, A,” you affirm, moaning softly, “All yours.”

Your hands are in my hair, my arms wrapped around you, your legs around my waist as my cock moves in and out of you, hitting that sweet spot inside of you that has you throwing your head back against the pillow, whimpering so sweetly for me. You come around me again, crying out my name, but I keep going, wanting to hear you say it again.

Your nails move to my back as you rake them along my skin and I feel myself getting closer and closer to my own end. You try to match my pace, bucking your hips up against mine as you come again, and I do soon after. I hold myself up on my elbows over you, gazing at you with all the love I possess, when suddenly I realize…

I’m bleeding a little? From where you scratched me? You smile at me brightly and pull me in for another kiss.

“I remember my name,” I tell you happily, “My name is Aemond Targaryen. And I’m yours, from this day until my last.”

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genshin-obsessed · 10 months

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When Someone Flirts with You | Haikyuu [Karasuno]

Ok, so I debated on this for a while because this has already ben posted. However, its on a blog I don't/can't go on anymore. Since this is my writing (idea and all), I'm gonna repost it here. I did debate on reblogging the fic here, but it's my works and I want them with me, on this blog. Basically, if you've seen this exact fic posted two years ago, it was me. That blog has my name and everything if you need proof. I just don't want to draw attention to it. I did reuse tags lol cuz I don't know them too well yet

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama, Kei Tsukishima, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Ryunosuke Tanaka, Yu Nishinoya, Asahi Azumane, Koshi Sugawara, Daichi Sawamura

Extra: they're all aged up btw

COME ONE! COME ALL! See what happens when someone flirts with you in front of your mans!

➺ Shoyo Hinata

He’s kinda scared of PDA? Not scared, but he gets embarrassed easily. So there’s not much touching in public, aside from hand holding. This leads people to not know you’re taken and so you’re fair game.

This boy is NOT scary. He’s quite the opposite unless he has his MOMENT which is rare and fizzles out really fast. At first, he’ll let you handle the situation and ONLY jump in when he’s positive you require help. He’s not a helicopter boyfriend, you’re an adult. You can handle yourself. So, he’ll usually come up and tell the person that you’re uncomfortable and that they should go away.

That’s never worked before. Ever. Not one time. Hinata just looks CUTE and he’s not the tallest. Even as an adult, he’s still about 172cm (5’7). So there’s a chance the person is taller than him and if they are, they won’t take him seriously. The whole “under 6ft is not a man” bs. They’ll just shove him aside to get to you.

He hates that. There’s one thing to tease him and bully him but YOU? Oh that’s a whole nother ball game. Hinata doesn’t like seeing you upset/uncomfortable. He does everything in his power to keep you smiling so when he sees someone directly causing you discomfort… God help them.

The next method would depend on the situation. If he has a ball with him, he will throw it (this happened once at practice when you came to watch and someone wouldn’t leave you alone). But he can also jump to their height and punch/slap them. Hinata has gotten much stronger since his high school days. He will defend you at all costs.

His little jump attack? 10/10 it works EVERY SINGLE TIME and they’re GONE. Or you know… unconscious. Usually the area would go dead silent and all you can hear is Hinata huff. He’ll take your hand as gently as he can and lead you out of the establishment. Once you have fresh air, he’ll gently take your shoulders and ask if you’re ok. Reassurance is especially important here.

“They’ll never bother you again, (n/n). Are you ok?”

➺ Tobio Kageyama

Tobio isn’t one to flaunt your relationship because he’s a pretty private person. So not EVERYONE knows you’re together. Which is completely fine and acceptable, it’s just how he is. The thing is, this leads to situations where people think you’re single. If he walks away or you’re alone, people will take their chance.

You get hit on when you’re alone, usually. So, you’ll always try to find Tobio when you’re in that situation. He’ll spot you in seconds. He’s always got an eye on you (cuz you’re hot and he can’t help it). You’ll get the person to see Tobio and he’ll just GLARE. Usually, about 9 times outta 10, his death glare makes everyone go away. It’s pretty scary, especially if he’s like two feet away from them.

But there’s always one person it doesn’t work on. The one who decides to push it and try to physically touch you. This has only happened once, but the person rolled their eyes, pushed Tobio away, and pushed you against the wall.

Oh boy. Tobio doesn’t care if people bother HIM but someone who makes you uncomfortable tries to touch you? Their funeral. Especially this dirtbag. Your eyes widened in pure fear and panic when your back roughly hit the wall. The person’s face was inches away from your own and you couldn’t see Tobio anymore. You’d frozen up completely.

It only lasted a second before the person was on the floor. You’d barely had time to blink before Tobio DRAGGED them and roughly threw them to the side. The person glared and sat up, ready to curse him out when Tobio kicked him in the chest. This is usually how it would go. He takes them by surprise and throws them to the ground, all while barely breaking a sweat.

10/10 they’re probably unconscious or too terrified to move. He’ll just glare at them before slowly walking over to you. Tobio will give you a minute and will often try to hide you from the crowd that is undoubtedly staring at you. If your other friends are there, they'll hide you from view until you’re calm enough to where Tobio can take you away.

“Are you ok? It’s ok, take a deep breath. No one will ever do that to you again… I swear.”

➺ Kei Tsukishima

If you’re dating Tsukishima, you’ve gotta be tough on SOME LEVEL. There’s no way you can’t handle him but got close enough to start dating him. Then again… he doesn’t mind a cute, soft, shy partner. That just means he’ll need to be your shield more often than not. And let’s be honest, he likes protecting you. Tsuki’s not big on PDA. Like Kageyama, the entire world doesn’t need to know your business. So people can think you’re single. And you, lil pretty thang, you attract people.

You try to stick next to your boyfriend when you’re out in a public place or somewhere with lots of people. But if he does leave for a minute or you do, people will swoop in. Tsuki knows IMMEDIATELY. He just does, he’s psychic like that. He’ll see if you need help and if you do, he’ll come stand by. Tsuki’s height alone is enough to deter people, but of course, he’s pretty lanky (like… where’s the muscle?). So, most people wouldn’t be too deterred. 5/10.

See, Tsuki gets it, you’re hot. Of course people wanna flirt with you but they should learn to take a hint. Especially when you tell them you’re not interested. They usually kinda just ignore him or push him out of the way or even try to take you away. Like hell Tsuki’s gonna let that happen. Bitch please. Anyone who underestimates Tsuki is in for a treat. He can and will destroy someone’s self esteem through words. Who needs to fight? Not him. He will roast tf outta some until they’re no longer confident in themselves.

That’s the good thing about Tsuki, he doesn’t need muscle to chase people off. He’s not that weak either though, so worse comes to worse, he can defend you. But worry not, there’s no need for violence with that mouth of his. There is ONE more thing Tsuki will do that will ALWAYS get rid of people. He does this rarely because it scares you a little, but it's effective.

Tsuki will come up to you and then… he’ll punch the wall above your head and glared down at the person. No one stays after that! So 10/10! Would recommend. After that, Tsuki sighs and lets his hand fall on your head, breaking you out of your trance.

“Your face looks weird. Come on, it’s fine now. Let’s go somewhere else though.”

➺ Tadashi Yamaguchi

Oh boy…

He HATES confrontation, but for you, he’ll step right in. Usually, Tadashi likes to get in between you and the offender. He’ll try to tell them to stop bothering you. He really crosses his fingers and hopes it’ll work.

2/10, sadly, he’s just too cute to be scary. So, usually, people just brush past him or even shove him away. This kinda does put a damper on his mood. He wishes every single time he was as scary as Tsukishima (who wouldn’t want to be?) so he could scare people off. When you see that though… ooh.

This usually causes you to get VERY upset! You don’t like it when people treat Tadashi like crap so you become quite aggressive. That works BUT sometimes you’ll get those creeps that like “feisty” people. So they’ll often just pin you to a wall. This usually sparks something in Tadashi. He just… loses it. Sorry, Tsukishima who?

Since their backs are turned to him, he’ll just come up behind them, grab their hair and pull so hard they fall to the ground. If they’re bald then he’ll do the same but with their shirt. You’ll take your chance to hide behind Tadashi, who’s just death glaring at the person on the floor.

69/10! Works EVERY SINGLE TIME! Tadashi doesn’t understand it, where the hell did that come from?! But it’s very effective because the person is always gone. He just hopes no one stands up to fight him because he’ll 100% lose. He’ll realize that he might’ve been really scary and slowly turns around to face you.

“A-are you ok? I-I’m sorry if I scared you.”

➺ Ryunosuke Tanaka

Everyone and their grandmothers have to know you two are together! He’s usually all over you but you don’t hate it. It’s nice when you’re in a place with creeps around. But sometimes one of the creeps doesn’t see him or does see him but doesn’t care. They’ll saunter over to you and just shamelessly start flirting.

He’ll join them! Literally. He’ll swing his arm around the person and just lean in and start complimenting you. “You’re right, they’re hot! Hey baby! You here by yourself?” It’s odd, but you always feel better when he’s nearby in situations like this.

Usually, the person gets weirded out. They don’t know Tanaka (unless they saw him) and so they’ll either claim you’re theirs or just ask Tanaka what he’s doing. Usually, it works. If they recognize him, they’ll just quickly leave but sometimes they don’t. They’ll shove him off and try to regain your attention.

Tanaka takes it as a compliment. He’s not one to just start getting aggressively possessive. No. You’re HOT. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! He takes it as a compliment when people flirt with you BUT to an extent. If they make you uncomfortable he goes nuts. Yeah, you’re ridiculously attractive but that doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings.

His next method is usually shoving them back. He’ll make it clear that you’re his partner and you’re not comfortable. Sometimes this makes people go away but there’s always one. For that, Tanaka just punches them. It only takes one. They’re either knocked out or just too scared to stay.

10/10. Unconscious or gone. He’ll smirk proudly, then hug you immediately. If you’re super scared or just really anxious, he’ll take a second before touching you. He prefers to reassure first before getting too into your space.

“It’s ok, they’re gone. Come on, let’s go somewhere else.”

➺ Yu Nishinoya

He’s kind of like Tanaka. He loves to show off his gorgeous partner. Everyone has to know cuz he brags about you ALL THE TIME. Kiyoko who?

Like I said, he’s like Tanaka. He’ll join whoever’s flirting with you. “Hey sexy! Wanna get outta here?” This prompts the person to ask who tf he is. “Huh? Oh! I’m just flirting with my partner. They’re hot, right? I know.”

3/10. That, unsurprisingly, fails. Why wouldn’t it? Unlike Tanaka… Nishinoya’s just kinda… cute. He’s not very intimidating. People just shove him away and turn their attention back to you.

Nishinoya’s really in tune with your emotions. Like… it’s kinda weird how well he knows you. He can just feel the second you panic. That really pisses him off. He even scares you sometimes.

He’ll usually grab the person’s arm and tug them back, silently with just fury in his eyes. “Don’t. Touch. Them.” This bumps the effectiveness to 8/10. People get scared and leave but there’s always one. Noya’s already in aggressive mode, so it’s not too difficult to handle this person. He’ll kick their knee. Hard. If it breaks, oh well. 10/10. They’re gone. Either taken away by friends or something, but they won’t ever bother you again. At this point, Noya takes your hand and leads you away.

“Sorry if I scared you, but we should leave. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Some people are just disgusting.”

➺ Asahi Azumane

He doesn't show you off like Tanaka or Noya, but he usually has his arm around you. This proves to everyone you're his, right? Well some people just don’t care.

If he sees you getting uncomfy, he'll be by your side in a second!! He usually starts off by putting distance between you and the offender. 5/10; Asahi’s pretty intimidating looking, so 50% of the time, people get scared off. But there are some who don’t…

He’s not a fighter. He won’t just resort to kicking ass, so he’ll try to explain that you’re uncomfy. That kinda shows people he’s intimidating on the outside but soft on the inside, so they push him out of the way. That’s when you’ll scream for Asahi to help.

It’s on purpose, actually. Because it kinda sparks something in him. He just… changes. He doesn’t like it when you’re uncomfortable and he hates it when you’re scared. So, he’ll grab the person’s shoulder with a death grip. With one rough shove backwards and away from you usually does the trick. If it doesn’t… we’ll he’s pretty strong and he’s a big guy.

then people realize… yeah no, he’s just as scary on the inside. 10/10 they’re GONE.

“Hey are you ok? I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Do you wanna go home? We can just watch movies and cuddle.”

➺ Koshi Sugawara

Koshi is attached to you at the hip. He’s always with you and your friends know you’re dating. But he’s not really one for super, crazy PDA. I mean, he doesn’t have an issue with it, he often just finds himself standing next to you. Not touching you. This kinda leads most people to think you’re just friends.

Koshi kinda lets you handle it, but if you’re starting to get really uncomfortable, just look at him. He’ll stand beside you and just ask what’s going on. To which most people tell him to “get lost”. He’ll just smile and explain that you’re not very comfortable and they should leave you alone.

0/10. It’s never worked and it never will. They usually sigh, roll their eyes, grab your hand and try to tug you away from Koshi.

Usually, that’s what sends Koshi into like… defensive, scary Koshi. Flirting is one thing, being pushy is one thing, but forcefully taking you away…

The second someone pulls you away, he’ll grab their wrist with such a strong grip, it causes bruising. That causes the person to let go and you immediately run and hide behind Koshi.

69/10! The air around Koshi is just suffocating, he’s horrifically intimidating, and with just one look people go rigid. No one bothers him or you if you're still at the establishment. Chances are you’ll leave though.

“Sorry if I scared you, darling. Are you ok? Come on, let’s get you home.”

➺ Daichi Sawamura

Daichi’s kinda like Suga. He’s usually seen with his arm around your shoulders or you attached to his arm. Again, he’s not against PDA- he’ll kiss you in public, no problem- but does he need to? If not, there’s no reason. So again, people have a hard time telling you’re together.

Because of that, he doesn’t become aggressive when someone flirts with you. Maybe they didn’t know and they DID build up the courage to talk to you. So, he’ll just stand beside you and kindly explain you’re taken and you don’t appreciate the flirting.

It’s rare that this works out. Some people will genuinely apologize and leave, which is great. But the chances of that are like 2%. 98% of people scoff and just brush him off, turning back to you and explaining they’d be a better option.

Oh boy. Daichi does NOT appreciate that. He’s caring and sweet and often doesn’t seem like a scary guy BUT HE CAN BE. This lil “scary Daichi” thing depends on you. If you’re ok, just talk to the person, but if they’re really giving you anxiety just ask him for help. There’s just a way his name comes out of your mouth when you’re scared that irks him. He hates it when you’re so scared and vulnerable. So, scary Daichi is the result!

So, the next step is Daichi grabbing the person by the collar and glaring at them. “Maybe I’ll need to beat the respect into you which I really don’t mind doing.” Daichi is NOT bluffing. Anyone who dares challenge him WILL get their ass beat. He doesn’t negotiate when it comes to your safety/comfort.

10/10 NO ONE WANTS AN ANGRY DAICHI! 100% of people who go up against an angry Daichi run off with their tail between their legs. He’s just so goddamn scary. But he understands he can scare you too, so he’ll immediately get that under control. He’ll slowly approach you and try to touch you. Once you hug him, he’ll know everything’s ok.

“Let’s leave. I’ll buy you some ice cream on the way home, that sound good?”

#haikyuu x reader #shoyo hinata x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #tadashi yamaguchi x reader #yu nishinoya x reader #ryunosuke tanaka x reader #daichi sawamura x reader #koshi sugawara x reader #asahi azumane x reader #🖊─ pocky’s writings

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russellsppttemplates · 7 months

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Breathe for me (Pierre Gasly)

Y/N's anxiety has been building throughout the week and it finally crumbled down

Note: english is not my first language. As you maybe know by now, talking about these subjects is a big responsibility for me, but I always hope that I've represented it well enough. It is different for different people, so what I have here is a possible scenario and not the only scenario.

Tags: @myloverjk-blog

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions reader's anxiety symptoms which build up to an anxiety attack

You and Pierre had been invited to join his friends for dinner, and while you thought you were better from last night, things were showing otherwise. Walking around with your skirt unzipped, you tapped your tummy in hopes that the nervous feeling would settle once for all.

Things had felt off throughout the wholr day, it just hadn't been feeling right. And, quite honestly, the last thing you wanted to do was to go and sit through a dinner, pretending you were fully composed when, deep down, your mind kept racing and you couldn't shut it off.

It wasn't because of the company, after all, you had known them for a good while and even felt comfortable around them to the point where admitting what was going on wouldn't be an issue, but right now, Pierre seemed to be the only person you could be with and not feel overwhelmed.

"Amour, do you need- hey, are you feeling okay?", Pierre asked, noticing your nervous stance as you paced around the bedroom, "hey, talk to me, please", he asked, stopping you on your tracks and holding you in place as softly as he could.

"I don't know if I can go. I'm not feeling very well, so I think it's best if you go and I stay", you said, genuinely wanting him to go and have a good time, knowing you wouldn't be the best company right now and that this particular group of friends hadn't been together at the same place in quite some time.

Pushing you to sit on the bed and sitting next to you, Pierre laced his fingers in yours while making sure you were looking at him and taking in every word he said, "hey, we don't need to go. I can call them and tell them we can't make it, they'll understand", he offered, "I want you to be okay, no matter what", he said, "but you can go, I'll just stay here. You haven't seen them in a while and you don't need when you will all have the opportunity to get together again", you said. Finding today to be the date where everyone was available had been enough of a struggle.

"I'm not leaving you feeling like this. I'm staying", Pierre said, grabbing comfier clothes from the wardrobe and helping you undress, "we are going to have a cosy night in, how does that sound?", he asked.

After changing into comfortable clothes, you and Pierre stayed tucked in bed after he texted his friends, his arms protectively around you as you managed to relax a little bit, happy to stay in his embrace while he read a book with you.

"Do you think we can get that done until Friday?", one of your colleagues asked, "the client needs it for their meeting, apparently he's having dinner with the investors", she rolled her eyes.

"I think I can, but they should really stop and think about doing these things in such a rushed way, I mean, it's not the first time we're almost running against the clock", you reasoned back, booking another meeting with her to sort out the last final details before handing the project in.

The uneasiness feeling that had been with you since you woke up was not sitting right, so when you logged off your laptop, you decided that working out would be a good distraction and allow you to forget about it.

"Are you heading for a run?", Pierre asked you as he walked inside the bedroom, seeing you put on your sports bra, "I was planning on doing some yoga, maybe go for a walk after", you said, watching him walk over to the drawer where he kept his workout clothes, "do you mind if I joing you? I promise I won't utter a word", he smirked, kissing your cheek and changing from his day clothes.

You and Pierre arranged the room so you could lay the mats, pressing play on the video and doing your best to mimick the moves and positions the young woman was going on the screen. You weren't an expert by all means, but exercise had always been a good escape when you felt overwhelmed, and having Pierre with you, even if you weren't talking or touching, made you feel his support and attentiveness.

"Still up for that walk?", he asked as he handed you your bottle of water, "yes, I think so", you smiled.

Walking on that park had become a common thing for you, being almost able to walk with your eyes closed from how many times you had been there, "are you feeling better now?", Pierre asked.

By now, he had noticed your patterns and preferences, so it wasn't too hard for him to notice that your day hadn't been the best, "yes, thank you for joining me. I know you know you don't need to, but I'm happy you did", you sighed, "my deadline just became a lot more real, so I need to hurry. But I'm also aware I can't do much if I'm worried, so here I am, trying to shush the worry away, at least for a bit", you explained, feeling your boyfriend squeeze your hand in his, "you did well, amour".

Work was finally over, you had handed in your project and you thought it would make you feel at ease, that it would allow you to finally feel a little bit lighter, but it didn't. Your thoughts were still spiralling, and they didn't seem like they were on the way to settling down. Your legs started to feel tingly, and you didn't trust them to stay up, so you sat on the living room floor with your back against the sofa, letting your body feel the softness of the rug while your lungs felt like they couldn't get enough air inside them.

You closed your eyes, trying to regulate your breathing as best as you could when you heard a noise far away, approaching quickly as you could make out your name in what the person was saying.

"Amour, Y/N, hey...! Breathe for me, yeah?", said as you tried your best to follow his voice and block out everything else, feeling Pierre's hand coming to hold your own, the feel of his fingers very faint as you struggled in regulating your unsteady breathing, "Y/N, hey, hey, you're okay, amour. Everything is fine, okay?", he urged you to follow his voice, something you had mentioned before that always calmed you.

Encouraging you to breathe with him, you finally got up to his rhythm, looking up to his eyes and despite the worry in them, you also saw the calm that comes after the storm has passed. How it all seems too much, it bursts, and then you're just left with the aftermath.

"There you go, that's good, good, just like that", he said, sitting on the floor and sitting on your side so he could pull your body against his, seeing you were struggling to hold yourself upright.

You stood there a couple of minutes, your eyes closing for a little bit before you croaked a few words out, "can we go to the sofa, please?", feeling his arms go around your back and under your knees, swiftly pulling you against him and getting up from his spot, walking to the sofa and cuddling there with you, brushing your hair with his fingers.

"Do you want some water? A snack perhaps", he advised, "I'm just a little tired, but thanks", you smiled weakly, "you're alright, ma belle, take all the time you need".

You must have fallen asleep on your boyfriend's chest, because when you woke up he was still there, but the window was no longer letting sunlight in and rather moonlight, the TV was on what looked like the evening news and you could feel a blanket covering you and Pierre.

"Hey, you", he whispered, kissing your forehead as he helped you sit up straight, "are you feeling better? A little more rested?", he asked, brushing the hairs away from your eyes, "yes, I am", you smiled, "thank you".

"Those hadn't happened in a while", he pointed out, "yes, it had been a while. I've been able to manage it, but it just crumbled today, before I could get it together, it's just crumbled", you explained

"That's okay, it happens, amour. You're still very strong to have managed ti well, I'm proud of you", he said honestly. Pierre always made you feel safe and never once judged you, instead always wanting to learn how to help you when you needed him and how he could make things better for you. So he wasn't lying when he said he was proud of you and how far you had come.

"My throat is a bit dry", you said, getting up and being followed by Pierre to the kitchen, sipping on the water as he grabbed something to snack on, "do you want some food?", he asked, "no, I'm good", you stated.

"What happened that got you to have the attack?", he wondered, "I handed in my project today. It had been building the last few days, and I was so sure they would be gone by the time I submitted it", you shrugged your shoulders, "now I know what to expect", you smiled, wanting to comfort Pierre and erase the crease between his eyebrows.

"Do you want to go and watch a movie? There's a new Disney one I haven't seen yet", he changed the subject, having gotten the information he needed and looking for a distraction, "Lead the way, handsome".

#pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly fanfic #pierre gasly x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

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riacte · 1 year

Text

“hold the line,” a familiar pfp on your dashboard declares. it’s a mutual. you don’t remember when you’ve followed them, you don’t remember when they’ve followed you, because they’ve always been there. you know their blorbo through osmosis, you know who they’ll campaign for. it’s a constant in mcytblr.

“hold the line,” you echo back, fingers trembling as you press the reddit app and carefully place a pixel. kermitcraft is now back to hermitcraft. good grief. the joke stopped being funny ages ago.

“vote for quackity!” “let’s go quackity let’s go!” you go back to tumblr. it’s 50/50. you watch with dazed eyes as the numbers change— 200, 45, 19, 8. they mean nothing, they mean everything. the thin line between grian and quackity fluctuates. your heart thumps, tense and anxious.

“hold the line!”

a ping from your discord, from your comrades in the r/hermitcraft server. not the lime green gme line starting up shit again. with a resigned sigh, you push the gme pixels back to their side.

“hold the line!”

the joehills stans are back. you voted for him in the first hour. you dutifully reblog the propaganda posts anyway. joe has lime green glasses. the gme line is lime green. refresh the stats page. still 50/50. hold the line.

“hold the line!”

oh god, not rogues on r/place. “please,” someone sobs, “we need to maintain peace with our biggest ally brasil.” we cannot afford another crisis. we must remain diplomatic. “HOLD THE LINE!” you blare into your microphone with a resounding @/everyone discord ping. we’ve got to keep our own people in check.

“hold the line!”

scar and techno’s fandoms are rallying. 20k votes, 30k votes, 40k votes. they rise to dizzying heights. another 50/50. there’s a spreadsheet. there’s fanart. there’s fanfic. your dash is in chaos. hold the line.

“hold the line!”

not the reddit void attacking, it creeps over and suffocates your pixels. regroup, rebuild, reapply the blush. it’s day three on r/place and it feels like forever. you’re obsessed. you’re getting too attached.

“hold the line!”

it’s the final minute. grian and quackity are trembling. messages fly by in your discord server as the countdown truly begins. it’s a reverse sweep, an underdog down to the very last second. we are in the metaphorical trenches. honourable allies, honourable enemies.

“hold the line!”

the gme line is our friend now, helping to maintain a sense of structure and stability after the void’s attack. the lime line is decorated with two nether portals. it’s cute. once upon a time, you hated those lime pixels. now, it’s your turn the place them.

“HOLD THE LINE!”

it comes from various people on your dash, text posts melting into one. time is ticking and running out. people are desperate jubilant relieved tense obsessed emotional joyous defeated victorious. we’ve lost track of the days and nights. new accounts flood in. they say the end is coming.

there’s a break.

the canvas expands again.

the fandom regroups.

there’s a break.

new colours are added, a beautiful collision of vibrancy.

(somewhere, someone posts their 8th picture of themselves as their sexyman campaign.)

(somewhere, someone adds a pixel of blush to a beloved mural.)

they say the end is coming. we’re exhausted, energised, exhilarated. so when someone says,

“hold the line—“

you hold onto it. grip onto it with your fingers, knuckles bleeding from countless cactus circles.

you hold the damn line.

#mcytblrsexymen #mcytblr sexymen poll #r/place #ria.fic #sorry 4 being insane 🙏 i was hungry #mcyt

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moonastrogirl · 5 months

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Jyestha nakshatra

Credit @moonastrogirl

This post is in honour of jyestha season and for all Jyestha natives ☂️

Jyestha natives are often misunderstood, also they trigger people easily but do they care ? Not even a single bit. Because at the end of the day this world is cold and it’s a constant battle and it’s everyone for themselves first.

We live in an animalistic world and the spiritual world is even worse. Spirit of people are also hungry. We need to defend ourselves against intruders physically and spiritually who want to feed off our energy or our ressources and that’s what jyestha natives do best. The umbrella, their symbol, protect them from physical and spiritual attacks and intruders. Plus the talisman which gives them this spiritual barrier for their power.

Jyestha is the nakshatra of those who have immense power and a huge spiritual presence. And with great power comes great responsibility. It’s so cliché yet it’s so true for jyestha.

That’s why this nakshatra gives better results once the native is grown and quit being childish. Young jyestha natives just play with their power and think they can get away with everything which they absolutely don’t. What they don’t know is karma remembers and karma will be served one way or another and sometimes in the most ridiculous way. It’s a must for them to respect the laws of karma.

Jyestha is the nakshatra where everything coming into the mind can materialise into the physical world. Natives thus have great manifestation abilities. Whether they realise it or not. They do. Every little thing they think or say they will receive it one way or another. It’s like they have a direct communication line with the universe. The power of their words and thoughts is unbelievable. So it’s best if they are careful about what they say or think especially about themselves and the people they love. This quote says it all.

« I got the power of life and death coming out my tongue »- Nicki Minaj (Jyestha sun being her soul planet, atmakaraka)

This power and this presence intimidate people with or without jyestha natives saying a thing. People just don’t know what to do with it sometimes. Jyestha must learn how to let their spirit speak and fight for them. They don’t need to react all the time. The universe is always working in their favour. Especially jyestha moons. Natives just need to say the least to make the best impact around them. Plus manifest, manifest and manifest again for their highest good.

May jyestha’s umbrella covers all my jyestha natives out there who need protection ☂️

If this post resonates with you, like, comment or reblog it, it will show me what I do is useful to you and thank you for reading me 💜

Credit @moonastrogirl

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hanbindans · 11 months

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BIG SPOON OR LITTLE SPOON??? 🎤🎤

a/n: I wrote this on impulse at 1 am and I have no regrets. I think I'm right btw but feel free to argue with me in the reblogs or comments if you want because I want friends. lowercase intended (I'm on desktop fight me if you want) also this is SATIRE in case it's not clear

jiwoong

big spoon all the way. little spoon makes him a little uncomfortable. like what if you bite him between the shoulder blades?? if he wants to be held he needs to be face-to-face with you so he can keep track of your moves and make sure you're not planning to attack him.

zhang hao

hmmm. mostly big spoon but it depends on his mood. sometimes after a long day dealing with people not as smart as him (everyone) he needs to be restrained as the little spoon so he doesn't go feral and commit any crimes. and he likes it when his back gets all warm and he can calm down 😗.

hanbin

little spoon but he doesn't know it. insists on being big spoon because it makes him feel like he's protecting you but actually he is the one who needs to be protected. we all need to be protect hanbin at all costs. he DESERVES to be little spoon.

taerae

50% big spoon and 50% little spoon. he doesn't really care. you had a bad day? taerae is big spoon that day. he had to walk home in the rain? YOU'RE big spoon so he can warm up. a king who is secure in his masculinity.

matthew

little spoon by default but he wants to be big spoon so bad he will actually wrestle you so he can get behind you. I believe he is pretty strong though he will give great cuddles as big spoon with those arms. makes you pretty warm and toasty.

ricky

too cool for little spoon. has to be big spoon every time this is simply not up for discussion with him. just go with it. and to be fair he is a pretty good big spoon because mans got them custom sized limbs perfect for holding another human.

gyubin

hmm.... I say little spoon at heart but big spoon by default because there is no big spooning this boy, the only other option is being his jetpack. he'd rather have his head cradled to your chest as his limbs cling to you because it has similar vibes to little spoon, just without the little. you should still ask for him to be big spoon sometimes though because I feel like he would be pretty warm.

gunwook

75% big spoon and 25% little spoon. imo he should be little spoon-ed more but once again his height is kind of working against him on this one. but he also wants to be big spoon most of the time so it's all good in the end. be sure to be his jetpack once in a while tho so bro can fill his cuddles quota.

#zb1 scenarios #zerobaseone scenarios #zb1 reactions #zb1 imagines #zb1 fluff #zb1 drabbles #zerobaseone imagines #zerobaseone drabbles #zb1 #zerobaseone #kim jiwoong #sung hanbin #zhang hao #kim taerae #seok matthew #shen ricky #kim gyuvin #park gunwook

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pluckyredhead · 26 days

Note

Can you please say more about the Lanterns' politics?

I am so glad you asked me about this because I've been thinking about it since I reblogged that post but also I'm definitely about to get yelled at lol. ANYWAY THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG.

Tl;dr: John is the only one with a coherent political position or an up-to-date voter registration.

Hal:

So something interesting about Hal is that his stories are often very political but his character is not. With one extremely obvious exception, he rarely talks about politics; rather, he serves as a means through which to tell political stories, usually unintentionally.

What do I mean by that? Well, for example, in the Silver Age, his love interest would occasionally be possessed by a misandrist space jewel that would force her to attack him, but always lose because women are inherently inferior to men and prefer to be subjugated by them anyway. That's the original Star Sapphire concept. It's wildly misogynistic, but it doesn't mean Hal the character is misogynistic. But it's also a very political story, even if I don't think the writer was deliberately trying to make a point so much as...being an average, thoughtlessly sexist guy living in the 60s. (Carol continues to be the subject of mindbogglingly sexist writing and art well into the 2000s. Fucking comics.)

And so you have Hal Jordan, whose love life was ruined by his girlfriend getting promoted above him and who called his best friend by a racist nickname for decades; Hal Jordan, poster boy for chest-thumping post-9/11 kneejerk patriotism; Hal Jordan, lightning rod for a certain kind of regressive bigoted fanboyism. Choosing Hal as the Lantern for a particular story over John or Kyle has come to signify something very specific, but none of that is necessarily reflective of what Hal himself believes.

So what about Hal himself? Well, when we first meet him, he's the epitome of privilege: a white, straight, cis, Christian (I know he's canonically half-Jewish now but that's only as of the past decade or so), ablebodied, upper middle class (Geoff Johns retconned him to have a working class background, but in the Silver Age, he had one uncle who was a millionaire, another who was a judge, and a successful politician brother) man with a flashy job. Privilege tends to lean Republican; even if he is from California, I suspect Hal voted for Eisenhower in 1956.

In GL/GA, the word "Republican" isn't used to my recollection, but Hal is definitely presented as...I'm going to say conservative by I mean lower-case C. He doesn't have deeply held political beliefs, but he's traditional. He doesn't question the system, because he's never had to. He resists things that challenge the way he's always understood the world works, and that's very relatable - most people do! And he will absolutely argue with Ollie, who certainly isn't always right about everything. But he's also willing to listen, and have his mind changed, and certainly reachable via appeals to compassion and fairness.

Once the "relevance" trend of the late 60s-early 70s was over, Hal's stories default back to ostensibly politically neutral, although obviously nothing is actually politically neutral. In the late 80s and early 90s he's the most unpleasant version of himself, and that has political manifestations, like when he allows John to be imprisoned in apartheid South Africa for a ridiculous and unnecessary crime Hal himself committed. It's extremely fucked up, but again, it's less because of Hal's actual opinions and more because Christopher Priest wanted to write about apartheid, even if it does make Hal look incredibly, horrifically racist.

Then jump to the mid-2000s and Green Lantern: Rebirth, and you might imagine that losing his hometown, getting possessed by a giant space bug, becoming a supervillain, dying, and becoming the embodiment of God's vengeance might have some effect on Hal's politics, but that is not what Geoff Johns is here to write. Johns is writing a Hal who teleported in from, like, 1967 - no nuance allowed. He's a summer blockbuster that walks like a man. He's a Baja Blast. He's never had a coherent political thought in his life. In his defense, he has had more and goofier concussions than any superhero I can think of and his brain is smooth like an egg. Still.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I think Hal tends to default to center right positions but can be easily coaxed over to center left. That said, he has never not once in his life had his shit together enough to vote in a single election, not even for his own brother.

Guy:

So Guy's deal is a little bit complicated because his most vocally political era was also in part due to severe and personality-altering brain damage.

When Guy was originally introduced in the 1960s, he had the pleasantly bland personality of all superheroes. Many years later, he suffered a series of major injuries, torture, and a lengthy coma, and he emerged from the coma in 1985 with the aggressive, abrasive personality he's best known for today. Justice League International took that even further, using him to parody the jingoistic, red-blooded American action hero of the 80s.

This version of Guy is a vocal fan of Ronald Reagan and despises the USSR. He's pro-war, proudly xenophobic, and treats women badly enough that it crosses the line into repeated sexual harassment, both physical and verbal. (To be fair...ish, this last also applies to Wally West and arguably a number of other men, and was always played for laughs. It was gross all around.)

Again, this is partially a manifestation of his brain damage. There's also a running gag in JLI where if he gets hit on the head, his personality changes to this cloying, timid, gentle one, sort of halfway between a child and a flamboyant gay stereotype. Hit him again and he goes back to Asshole Guy. I'm not going to pretend I don't find some of the gags funny, but it's obviously all highly problematic, and not just from a medical standpoint.

That said, I don't think we can dismiss Guy's politics or his usual personality as simply a manifestation of brain damage. We see in later flashbacks that he developed the abrasiveness as a defense mechanism from growing up in an abusive home, and as he matures through the 90s, he doesn't actually become a significantly different person, even after his Vuldarian healing factor kicks in and heals his brain. (It's a thing.) I think it's more accurate to say that the brain damage probably affected his impulse control, his filter, and arguably even his paranoia levels.

All of which is to say that as much as I would love to go "Guy's better now, so he's not a Republican!"...that dog won't hunt. I think a really good canon writer could make the case that Guy is pro-union-style working class and also a former teacher so he's at least center left, but as of now canon evidence is pretty firmly on the red side. It doesn't help that the GLC has been written as fetishistically pro-cop and pro-military since Johns got his grubby hands all over it. I will happily ignore the New 52 retcon that Guy was a cop, and you could even try to argue that he dislikes cops because his brother was a corrupt cop who became a supervillain, but I think it's much more likely that he identifies with cops as a Corps member. Although I don't think he would have any patience for killer cops. ("You were afraid for your life even though you were the only one with a weapon? Then fucking quit, coward.")

All of that said, I think Guy is similar to Hal: defaults to center right, can be talked into center left on certain issues but he's more stubborn about it. (They would also both be enraged by Jan 6 and disgusted by the current Republican party - I can't quite argue that Guy Gardner is a Democrat but Green Lanterns don't have any patience for traitors or cowards.) It's also kind of a moot point because he never knows what is happening on Earth and hasn't voted since his pre-coma days.

John:

Oh John Stewart, thank god for you.

John was introduced as an explicitly political character in an explicitly political story. The first time we see him, he's stepping in to defend Black men from a white cop, citing his own knowledge of the law to do so. He shows a much more perceptive and informed perspective on the issue's main plot (a racist senator running for president) than Hal does. Even in the little moment above, we see that he's sensitive to exactly what it means for him, a Black man, to be taking on this role.

None of this is a surprise, since we'll later learn that John's parents were civil rights activists. Not only would he not have had the privilege Hal and Guy did to assume his existence was politically neutral, he was explicitly educated about political realities and progressive advocacy from childhood. He's well-informed, he's passionate, and he's going to tell you when you are being fucking stupid.

John isn't immune from the GL cop/military...thing, although I can't blame Johns for that - it was the cartoon that made him a Marine, and the comics followed suit. But that's never outweighed his origin or his upbringing. Like, he's friends with the DCU's fictional version of Nelson Mandela.

This one is straightforward: John is a staunch progressive. He is, however, in outer space 90% of the time, so he's always at least a little bit out of date. I imagine every time he comes back to Earth he spends the first 24 hours watching the news in abject horror.

Kyle:

Kyle doesn't talk about politics a lot, but when he does, he lands pretty much where you'd expect a young California-born artist living in New York City to land: to the left. My read on Kyle is that he hasn't really thought any of his politics through, which makes sense - he's a character who is led by emotion over reason every time. He doesn't have John's carefully thought-through arguments or knowledge of the law behind him. I feel like when something political upsets him, he's more likely to splutter angrily than make a coherent argument (which: same). When he's given the time to think things through and speak from the heart, though, he can be very eloquent, like in his speech to Terry after Terry accidentally comes out to him.

It's also worth pointing out that his solo appearances were mostly in the 90s, which were prone to avoiding politics or only addressing them in a halfhearted both sides-y way like the story above.

That said, I don't think he ever actually does anything about his political opinions. He never votes in midterm or primary elections, and probably only voted in a presidential one because Alex dragged him along one time. I feel like Donna tried to do the same when they were dating and that was when Kyle realized he'd forgotten to change his voter registration from California to New York. Jennie wasn't responsible enough to Mom him into doing his civic duty, and he's been in space pretty much nonstop ever since, so...

Simon:

In that other post, I said Simon's experiences should have radicalized him, but instead he was created by Geoff Johns. Simon is a Muslim, Lebanese-American man who came of age in the post-9/11 era, and was wrongfully convicted of terrorism and waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay. His reaction to this was...to put on a ski mask and wave a gun around. Like, it's been a while since I've read these issues, but aside from the "ripped from the headlines!!!" of it all, I feel like Simon's experiences largely don't inform his actions or perspective except that he's super angry (fair enough).

The thing about Simon (and Jessica) is that he hasn't been around very long, and most comics don't have characters directly expressing political opinions. It's not a coincidence that these characters are in chronological order and each write-up is shorter than the last. I can think of about three times where Kyle has ever said anything I can interpret as political, and he's been around for 30 years. Simon only has a third of that history. So while one could certainly extrapolate what Simon's opinions are likely to be, I can't think of any canon where he actually says them.

Jessica:

Jessica has even less to go on in terms of explicitly political comics. You'd think she wouldn't like guns because of what happened to her friends, but she has one of her own and doesn't seem bothered by Simon's. I'd imagine she has opinions on immigration as someone whose family is from Mexico and Honduras, but it never comes up. If I were writing for DC, I'd make both Simon and Jess leftists, but as for actual canon proof? I got nothing.

I will say that she probably avoids political discussions because anxiety, and I bet she got really good at voting by mail during her years not leaving the house. She probably votes by mail from space. Maybe John's not the only one with an up-to-date voter registration.

Kilowog:

#green lantern #hal jordan #guy gardner #john stewart #kyle rayner #simon baz #jessica cruz #meta

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