#one bad gloop

[cryptotheism]

One Bad Gloop if it was translated like the Emerald Tablet:

Original text, now lost to history:

1) “One bad gloop, and she do what I yoinky 2) Two big splurgs and a big ass gloopy 3) Three more yoinks, then I buy me a smoothie 4) Poured up a gloop, that's a gloop and a splurgy”

From the Jabirian Corpus, of legendary islamic alchemist Jabir Ibn-Hayyan, 8th-9th century:

1) A single bad gloop! What I yoinky, done! 2) They number among this: Two teaming splurgs, and a donkey-drawn cart of gloopy 3) The yoinks number three, at which point, one must acquire for themselves a smoothie 4) Poured up a gloop, that is a gloop and a splurgy”

Notes: Earliest extant translation is notably corrupt.

Secondary Arabic translation by an unknown author. 9th century:

1) One gloop of malicious character, and what I yoinky is done of her 2) Attested are two great splurgs and a gloopy of great magnitude 3) Of yoinks, three! A smoothie follows shortly after. 4) Upon the pouring of a gloop comes another gloop, and a splurgy.

Notes: This version is as corrupt as the Jabirian corpus edition.

From the Book of the Composition of Alchemy, 12th century Latin:

1) One bad gloop, a yoinky be done 2) Two great splurgs, a gloopy of a strong mule 3) Three yoinks, a smoothie 4) A poured gloop, a gloop, a splurgy

Notes: This was the earliest translation into Latin. However, it was not widely circulated.

From Roger Bacon’s Secretum Secretorum, 1445:

1) One badde gloope, and what I yoinkie hath been done of her 2) Two greate splurgges, and the gloopie of a strong asse is produced 3) Add upon this three yoinks, and the purchase of a smoothie 4) From this is distilled a gloope, another gloope, and a splurgie

Notes: This translation was the most widely read in Europe for the time. This form was the basis for several centuries of translations.

From Giorgio Beato’s Aurelium Occultae, 1613:

1) Only a single gloop is required for them to yoinky 2) Whatever splurgs are needed, they are half that a mule's gloopy 3) Where yoinks number three, this will result in a smoothie 4) Also, a gloop, when added to the mixture, will be doubled, along with a splurgy

From Roscrucian mage William Kriegsmann, allegedly from Phonecian 1633:

1) I speak of a gloop, and all I yoinky shall be done 2) I speak of two great splurgs, and their gloopy most tenacious 3) I speak of three more yoinks, and smoothies 4) I speak of a gloop upon the chalice, for it is but a gloop and no more.

Notes: There was no phonecian. Kriegsmann was likely working from the Secretum Secretorum Latin.

From Sir Issac Newton, 1680:

1) Tis a single impure gloop, and from this a yoinky is born 2) Fore is added a grande gloopy, comes a pair of splurgges 3) Purchase of wane smoothie tis built, upon the three pillars of yoink 4) Ye gloop poured, tis but a gloop and a splurgy

Notes: Newton was an accomplished polyglot, his translation is based in one of the Arabic originals, though which is unclear.

From Rosicrucian mage Sigmund Bacstrom, allegedly from Chaldean, 1802

1) Tis from CHIRAM ONE of the GLOOPY 2) Of two SPLURGS and a great GLOOPY 3) Of three YOINKS and a SMOOTHIE 4) Upon the chalice, a GLOOP and a SPLURGY

Notes: Though many translations claim to be from a Chaldean original, this is unlikely to be true. The Bacstrom translation is notably corrupt.

From Madame Helena Blavatsky, unknown date, mid 19th century.

2) Two splurgs and a gloopy conjoin to form The One 3) All things are produced by conjunction of Splurgs and Gloopy 4) Poured up a gloop, a gloop and a splurgy are Complete.

Notes: It is not known why Blavatsky omitted the first line.

From Fulcanelli, translated from the Sieveking french, 18th century.

1) One malicious gloop, and what is yoinky shall be done by her. 2) By divine conjunction, two big splurgs produce gloopy most grand 3) Upon three additional yoinks, the ONE sires the smoothie 4) Here, a gloop and and a splurgy are poured upon the chalice

From Fulcanelli, revised translation, early 19th century

1) One bad gloop, and what is yoinky be done 2) Two big splurgs, to this, a big ass gloopy 3) Upon three yoinks a smoothie is sired 4) Upon pouring of the gloop, a splurgy and a gloop are produced

I had fun writing this. If you want my actual alchemy research you can find it here.

#Alchemy #One bad gloop

[deerstar4]

baby I’d give you TWO bad gloops if I could ahaah

#ori #joak #one bad gloop

[catgirl-kaiju]

sneef that snorf

#shitpost #humor #comedy #cat #cat pics #cats #meme #lady #my cat #sneef snorf #one bad gloop

[silavut]

OK, so who remembers One Bad Gloop by Ricebubs? A while back I went searching and hunting relating to it. Don't remember why now. But I found the full song and lyrics. So here's a new version with the original (HQ) image and updated text. Enjoy!

#One Bad Gloop #Memes #Video

[tony-andonuts]

#i swear to god this is already up on tumblr but i cant find it!!! #video #ayy. da gloop go off? #one bad gloop #fav #comfort tag

[dykeredhood]

Hey, don’t cry… one bad gloop and she do what I yoinky, ok?

#don’t cry meme #personal #text post #ok to reblog #zampl #one bad gloop #one bad gloop and she do what I yoinky

[luigra]

[ID: a video of Season 6 Joe Hills redrawn as the cat from One Bad Gloop, with a pitched up version of His Response made to sound like One Bad Gloop. Below the image the text quotes the lyrics. End ID.]

One Bad Gloop x His Response

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft season 6 #joe hills #joehills #joehillstsd #his response #hermitgang #one bad gloop #one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky

[serialdoesstuff]

This one was huge in Twitter

#shitpost #torracat #one bad gloop #pokemon #serialdraws

[saltedsolenoid]

NO MORE GLOOPS

#I CAN'T RISK BECOMING ADDICTED TO #One bad gloop #and she do what I yoinky #Two big splurgs and a big ass gloopy #Three more yoinks #then I buy me a smoothie #Poured up a gloop #that's a gloop and a splurgy

[urcatisacunt]

I remember the first time I ever yoinked my pp I was listening to Panic at the Disco's "Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" because it was the most sexual song title I could find on my stupid little ipod. My dumb, uneducated, unexperienced younger self had not read the puberty education books I was given, so I was not prepared for what was going to happen. Long story short, I yoinked with some liquid hand soap and glooped so hard that I nearly fell over. The soap, unfortunately, left me with cracked and dry skin - a punishment for the sin of self abuse. It was worth it, though. To this very day, I've never been able to recapture that feeling.

Anyway, I relistened to that song recently and it wasn't anything like I remembered. Is it the hormone-addled minds of youth that distort the memory? Perhaps our memories are just warped by the passage of time, like books in a poorly maintained archive? Kinda mid song tbh, but it does have some vocals that stick in your mind. 7/10

#chasing the dragon #patd #liquid soap #panic at the disco #music review #one bad gloop

[auggusst]

#one bad gloop #gloop and a splurgy #memes #polls #science

[vxo]

I can't believe they buttered the HP 54601a oscilloscope!

No wait that's just a rubber cushion that regressed to primordial ooze

#hewlett packard #slime #one bad gloop

[rabendraws]

one bad gloop and she do what i spidey

#meows morales #atsv #across the spiderverse #one bad gloop and she do what i yoinky two big splurgs and a big ass gloopy #spider-man

[snakeoid]

1 quastion: can I give appindex akiss on the nose .

YEAS it would make their tail wag :©3 💗

#if i were home id doodle her face one bad gloop style #inbox

[dormiloncito]

what do you mean the fingers in his ass song isn't the original

#NO JODAAANNN JAJAJAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJ #first one bad gloop. then chillin' on the weekend like usual. now this #WHAT. #all this time the original (music at least) was an undertale OST #HELP. i mean makes sense i... guess?? considering sans was part of the meme BUT #this is insane everytime i find out shit like this i feel like when cavemen discovered fire

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

erm sorry we put scout in the bucket of wet slop. Um. he's glooped now.

You wouldn't gloop a Scout

#one bad gloop etc etc #ask #anon #tf2 #scout