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jaehyunhour · 3 years

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34+35 ⭑ JOHNNY SUH

⭑ GENRE: fluff, smut

⭑ MEMBERS: fem!reader x johnny (mentions of jaemin and jeno)

⭑ DETAILS: yet another college!au, frat boy boyfriend johnny

⭑ WARNINGS: slight exhibitionism, mention of the word daddy, 69, oral [both f & m receiving], unprotected sex, lil bit of spanking

⭑ WC: 4,031

⭑ SUMMARY: as you're nearing finals week, you and johnny decide to help each other destress a bit.

⭑ AUTHORS NOTE: this is basically porn with little plot and is purely self indulgent, enjoy my babies <33

You straddle Johnny’s lap, hands placed on his cheeks as your lips connect with his. Your skirt rides up with each subtle thrust of his hips, his hands gripping onto your thighs tightly. It’s the middle of midterm season and you’ve booked a study room in the library to do work, but it quickly escalated as Johnny’s fingers trailed from your knee up to the wet patch on your underwear as you were trying to make flashcards for your Physics class. His hands reach up to grip onto your hips as his tongue slips into your mouth, fingers digging into your bones and forcing you to grind down against him and moan against his mouth.

“You might think I’m crazy, but you know what I’ve been craving lately?” You say, pulling back and tilting your head as Johnny’s lips trail down to your collarbones. He sucks the skin into his mouth, nibbling lightly and your mouth opens in a breathy moan. “To put it quite plainly—” you start, but are cut off by the doorknob jiggling. You groan, pulling yourself up off of Johnny and heading towards the door. You pull it open, not even bothering fixing your askew skirt or messy hair. You’re met with a group of boys you recognize from one of your classes and you flash a smile.

“Can I help you?” You say in a sing-song voice.

“I-uh, we booked the study room starting at 2 and it’s already 2:15,” one of them says quietly.

“Oh! Sorry about that, we got a bit carried away,” you turn around to look at Johnny and fix your skirt. The boys push the door open a bit more, peeking into the room and Johnny throws his head back and lets out a sigh. He zips his pants back up, buckling his belt before picking his backpack up off the ground and slinging it over his shoulder. You bend down to pick your backpack up, flashing both Johnny and the group of boys the way your wet panties are sticking to you. Johnny feels his dick stir in his pants and he quickly grabs you by the hand and drags you out of the library.

Once outside, you grip Johnny’s hand tightly as you aimlessly walk around campus enjoying his presence. He walks slowly, enjoying the uncommon quiet of the school and the feeling of your hand in his. “So what was that about you craving something lately, princess?”

Your cheeks heat up at his words. Despite it only being approximately seven minutes since you were grinding on Johnny in one of the private study rooms of the library, you had already forgotten about what you had said. Truth be told, in the moment you were thinking of the last time you had sex with Johnny, the feeling of him filling you making you feel warm and content.

“I don’t wanna say, someone could leave one of these buildings and hear us…”

“C’mon, princess, don’t get shy on me now. You were about 3 minutes away from riding me in the middle of that study room and now you don’t want to admit that you just want me to fill you with my cum?” He tsks.

“Oh my god, baby, stop,” You blush and hit his arm playfully. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Hmmm, well we have a chapter meeting tonight that’s supposed to last for a few hours and I have to study for some exams.”

“That’s not the answer I wanted and you know that,” you say with a slight pout on your face.

Johnny’s hand slips out of yours and he lets out a laugh. His hand then comes up to your face, gripping your jaw tightly and effectively wiping the pout off your face. He slips his thumb into your mouth, and your tongue swirls around it instinctively before closing your lips around it and sucking on it. “What did you want me to say, baby? That I am going to do you all night? Hm? Fuck you till the daylight?”

You nod eagerly and he pulls his thumb out of your mouth, wiping it clean on your cheek and you whine.

“How bout you come over tonight after the chapter meeting and we can watch a couple of movies instead of studying for finals? We haven’t had any alone time in a couple weeks… I’ll even keep the suit on for you,” Johnny suggests.

“Fine, but I should get home now then so I can rest before I get over there. We’re not watching aaaaany movies tonight,” you respond.

“Let me walk you to your car.” He slips his hand back into yours, pulling you towards the student parking lot quickly. Once at your car, he presses your back into the drivers side door and leans in to press a kiss to your lips.

You grab onto his hand and push it between your thighs and underneath your skirt. “Are you sure you don’t want to come into the backseat with me for a few minutes?” You bat your eyelashes at him and Johnny sucks in a breath as he pushes your underwear to the side and feels how wet you are. He rubs tight circles onto your clit and you let out a whine that echoes in the parking lot. He turns you around, pressing you harder into the car door and pushing his crotch against your ass.

“Ten minutes, max.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, unlocking the doors and crawling into the back, but not without a harsh spank landing on your ass.

“You really can’t keep it in your pants, huh?”

“Only because you’re a dream come true.”

Back at your apartment, you begin packing your bag for your overnight at the frat house. Johnny invited you over for movies, but after not having spent any alone time with him in nearly three weeks you know there is absolutely no way you’re going to be watching anything. After packing your bag with fresh underwear, your phone charger, and a couple of other things, you change into a fresh pair of comfy pajamas before getting into bed. You lay in bed in the dark, eyes closed and sinking into your bed.

Your roommate comes home a few minutes later, raising an eyebrow as she walks past your room and sees you laying in the dark but obviously not asleep.

“What are you doing?” She asks.

“Saving up my energy,” you respond. “I’ve got a long night ahead of me.”

“Are you pulling an all-nighter for midterms?”

“Nope. Going to the Sigma Chi house after their chapter meeting.”

“And you’re planning to fuck the entire house or what?”

“Just Johnny, duh. Although I wouldn’t mind getting some of the others in bed… Have you seen the new recruits? They’re absolutely delectable. There’s these two boys named Jeno and Jaemin, they’re best friends and my god are they pretty. I keep asking Johnny if we could invite at least one of them the next time we do stuff but he always says no.”

She fake sighs. “Your life is so hard. Have fun tonight, hope you can walk tomorrow.”

“Actually, my goal is to not be able to walk for the rest of the week. Rest of the month if I’m lucky.”

The drive from your apartment to the frat house is short. You park your car on the street in front of the house, not bothering to let Johnny know you’ve arrived. When you walk up to the house, overnight bag in hand, and knock on the door, you’re met with Johnny’s bright smile and it forces one onto your own face. You look him up and down; he’s still wearing the suit he’s required to wear for his chapter meetings, and it fits him perfectly in all the right places. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you take in his appearance. He lets out a laugh as he sees your eyes raking his body and he grabs your hand before pulling you into the house.

The inside of the Sigma Chi Frat house isn’t really what you’d expect from a bunch of frat boys. It’s fully furnished, neat, and most importantly: clean. Upon first glance, you wouldn’t think that around ten different boys all live here together — but then you walk into the kitchen to see they have a beer pong table in place of a dining table with a bunch of folding chairs around it, and realize that only a bunch of boys could live here. Johnny pulls you into the living room, sitting down on the couch and pulling you on top of him as he presses play on the movie he was watching.

You straddle his hips, making sure to grind down on him as you press an array of kisses onto his neck. His hands hold onto your hips tightly, helping you move as his eyes are focused on the TV behind you. He’s not actually paying attention to the movie anymore, but he loves to make you work for the things you want. He loves the way you get needier and needier with the lack of attention he gives you, the way your hips speed up against him, and the way you whine against his neck. You pull away from Johnny, scooting back to put some space in between your crotch and his, letting your hand unbutton his dress slacks and pull the zipper down. Your hand slips into his boxers, pulling his half-hardened dick out and he lets out a hiss when the air hits him.

“Right here, princess? Where anyone could see?” Johnny asks, raising an eyebrow as your hand begins to move up and down slowly on his hardening length.

You nod, his dick now fully hard in your hand, and you drop your head to his, forehead to forehead, lips ghosting over his. “Yeah, why? You got a problem with that?” Your hand moves faster and Johnny throws his head back onto the couch with a groan. His hands fall from your hips to the couch, and he grips the cushions tightly as you continue your movements. His hips buck up every time your hand comes all the way up, thumb wiping across his tip, and you can tell he’s going to burst any minute. Johnny lets out a shaky breath, willing himself to calm down before he cums all over himself in the middle of the living room.

His hand shoots out to grab onto your wrist as he feels himself seconds away from his orgasm, and he pants as he tries to recollect himself. You tighten your grip on the base of his dick and he lets out another groan. Before Johnny can say anything, though, you hear someone coming down the stairs and within seconds are met with Jaemin.

“Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming over,” Jaemin says excitedly, standing still at the bottom of the staircase and flashing you a smile.

The couch shields your lower half, and you smile back, continuing to move your hand discreetly over the length of Johnny’s dick, forcing him to bite his bottom lip to stop any noises from escaping. “Jaeminnnnn,” you coo. “I didn’t know you were home! I figured you would be out studying with Jeno.”

“Well, we were going to go to the library to study but figured we should just stay here instead. At least here we don’t have to put any pants on.”

“Riiiight,” you say. You focus your attention onto Johnny’s tip, moving your hand unbelievably fast, his head falling onto your chest. “If I had known you and Jeno were home, I would’ve invited you two to come watch a movie with us.” With your other hand, you grab onto the hair on the nape of Johnny’s neck, tugging his head back and giving him a mischievous smile. “Johnny, you should’ve told me that Jeno and Jaemin were staying in tonight. You’re so mean.”

“Yeah, hyung! So mean,” Jaemin echoes, walking into the kitchen without another glance at you.

Johnny gives you a dirty look to which you can only giggle at. You slip out of his lap, your hand never stopping its movements, and slide in between his thighs, head meeting his crotch and tongue coming out to kitten lick the tip of his dick.

“You are such a tease,” Johnny says, hand holding the back of your head and bringing you closer to his aching dick. You laugh, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. Within seconds Johnny is finishing right onto your face, most landing in your mouth but a little bit getting on your cheek, and he lets out a loud groan as he finishes. His fingers collect what landed on your face, pushing it into your mouth and you swallow before sticking your tongue back out to show him everything is gone.

Johnny doesn’t even allow himself a moment to calm down from the mind-blowing orgasm you’ve just given him. Instead, he quickly tucks himself back into his dress slacks and pulls you up off the ground. He grabs your overnight bag from the floor and heads straight to his bedroom, you trailing right behind him.

Just like the rest of the home, Johnny’s room is not what you would expect from a frat boy. His bed is neatly made, there are movie posters all over the walls, and he keeps everything on his desk organized. All of his dirty clothes are in the hamper in his closet, where they should be, and he has all of his shirts and sweaters in his closet organized by color.

Once inside the room, you crawl onto the bed and get on your back, watching as Johnny takes his suit tie off and hangs it on the outside knob of his door before slamming the door shut. He peels his blazer off, putting it back onto a hanger and into his closet where appropriate. He untucks his shirt, unbuttoning it one button at a time and you slip your hand into your underwear, fingers circling your clit lightly as you watch Johnny undress. A soft moan escapes your lips when you put pressure, toes curling at the much needed attention on your clit and Johnny laughs at the sound. He pulls his pants off, setting them on top of his dresser, then saunters over to the bed.

You spread your legs as soon as Johnny reaches the edge of the bed, leaving enough room for him to crawl in-between. Within seconds, Johnny’s hand is replacing yours in your underwear as his lips attach to yours. Your lips move in sync, tongues coming out to play with each other, and you peel your shorts and underwear down and kick them off to give Johnny more room to move. He collects your slick on his fingers, inserting two fingers into you without warning, a surprised moan getting caught in his mouth.

His fingers move in and out slowly, lips moving to suck on the skin of your neck and leave red and purple marks in its wake. You tilt your head to the side to give him more room, bucking your hips up as a silent plea to get Johnny to move faster, which he does. He drives his fingers into you quickly, thumb circling at your clit and your jaw hangs open, letting out every moan that bubbles in your throat. He pulls away from your neck for a moment, allowing you to remove your shirt before he bends down and sucks one of your nipples into his mouth. He sucks harshly on your nipple, fingers moving even faster in and out of you and your orgasm starts bubbling in your stomach. He lets the nipple go with a pop and then moves onto the other one, all the while curling his fingers to hit your g-spot and tightening the circles on your clit.

“F-fuck, Johnny—” you say, letting out a shaky breath. “I’m so close, sososo close.” Your hips buck up in an attempt to get just the tiniest bit more of pressure that will push you over the edge, but Johnny pulls his fingers away from you as soon as he feels you beginning to clench around his fingers and you whine loudly.

“What was that for?” You say with a pout, kicking your feet and on the brink of throwing a tiny tantrum. Johnny laughs, bringing his fingers up to your face and forcing them into your mouth. You lick his fingers clean, sucking on them lightly and he smiles at you before pressing a kiss onto your nose.

“Good girl,” Johnny says in a low voice. “Don’t worry, princess, you’ll get to cum. I want to try something with you, though.”

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, wiping them on the bedsheets and brings you in for a deep kiss. When he pulls away, you raise an eyebrow at him and he pets your head softly. “You want to try something new?”

Johnny nods. “You wanna 69?”

You let out a tiny gasp at his bluntness, but feel yourself clench around nothing at the thought. He laughs at your reaction, grinding his hips into yours and you can feel just how hard he is through his boxers. After thinking it over for a moment, you nod and Johnny gets into position, lying on his back and pushing his boxers all the way down. You get on top of his body, positioning your head just above Johnny’s dick, letting a trail of spit fall from your mouth and onto his tip. He groans at the feeling, hands gripping onto your hips and pulling your wet heat right to his face.

You wrap your lips around Johnny’s tip, hollowing your cheeks and sucking on it tightly. Johnny lets out a loud fuck, pulling your hips all the way down and licking a stripe from your clit to your entrance. The tip of his tongue pokes at your entrance and you begin to bob your head, slowly moving up and down and stroking what you can’t fit in your mouth with your hand.

He sucks your clit between his lips quickly and harshly, forcing you to moan around his dick. His tongue licks at your clit in quick strokes and you grind down onto him, chasing your orgasm from earlier. You pull your mouth off of his dick, using your spit as lube so you can stroke him quickly and resting your head on his thigh. You press your lips to the skin of his thigh, sucking the skin into your mouth to ease the sound of the moans coming out of your mouth. One of Johnny’s hands leaves your hip, two fingers slipping right into your wet heat as his mouth continues to abuse your clit. You bite onto his thigh, forcing Johnny to groan against your clit, and within seconds you’re falling apart around his fingers, clenching tightly as your hips stutter against his face and legs begin to tremble.

You release the skin of his thigh from your mouth, hand still stroking his dick so slowly he can barely feel it, panting as Johnny licks you through your orgasm. The sound of Johnny’s lips moving against you and tongue slurping forces a blush to rise on your cheek. the thought of someone walking past his room and hearing him eat you out coming into mind. Once you’re satisfied, you pull your hips away from him, thighs shaking violently as you try to hold yourself up over his body.

“You taste like candy,” Johnny says, licking his lips and delivering a harsh spank to your ass. “Do you think you can take another, babygirl?”

You nod, flopping onto the bed beside him and flashing a smile at him. “Are you even going to last?”

“Absolutely. I’m going to fuck you ’till the daylight, baby.” He steps off the bed, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you to the edge of the bed. “Flip over, princess.”

“Yes, daddy,” you say jokingly, flipping over and pushing onto your hands and knees.

“Don’t say that,” Johnny says, pressing his tip against your hole. He pushes into you slowly and a moan gets caught in your throat at the feeling of his long, hard length sinking into you. You clench around him once he bottoms out and slaps your ass again.

“Why? You don’t like it?” You pause for a second. “Daddy?”

Johnny wastes no time, grabbing onto your hips and quickly thrusting in and out of you like his life depends on it. Your head falls onto the bed, your mouth hanging open and letting out a moan every time Johnny bottoms out and fills you completely. You start moving back, meeting each of Johnny’s thrusts as his hand travels from your hip, up your back, and digs into your hair. He pulls your hair, forcing your body up and off the bed and you let out a surprised scream at the feeling of Johnny tugging on your hair as his hips hit your g-spot repeatedly.

“You’re so fucking nasty,” Johnny says through groans as he thrusts into you harshly. The sound of skin slapping against skin is heard in the entire room, his bed frame hitting the wall with every thrust. “Jaemin and Jeno are right next door and here you are, letting them know how good you’re getting fucked. Aren’t you embarrassed?”

You shake your head ‘no’ as best as you can with Johnny still pulling your hair tightly, eyes rolling into the back of your head at the mention of the younger boys. You clench around Johnny, and his hips falter for just a second before he’s back to his almost inhumane pace.

“J-johnny, I’m so close,” you say, clenching around him again. Johnny lets go of your hair, your upper body falling back down onto the bed, and his fingers move to rub your clit as he seemingly begins to thrust faster.

“Come on, babygirl. Call out to them, give Jeno and Jaemin something to jerk off to tonight,” Johnny says, drilling into you and rubbing your clit harshly.

You shake your head as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. “I c-can’t, Johnny, I can’t.”

“Do it or I’m not letting you cum,” Johnny says, pinching your clit between his fingers, pushing you even closer to the edge. He angles his hips, tip perfectly hitting your spot and within seconds, you’re tumbling over the edge with a cry.

“F-fuck, Jaem-Jeno-o-Johnny, feels so good,” you babble, clenching tightly around Johnny’s dick as he continues to thrust, letting you ride out your orgasm. The feeling of you clenching around Johnny is enough to push him over the edge. He bottoms out, pulling your hips flush against his as he finishes in thick white ropes, filling you to the brim. You fall onto the bed, Johnny’s softening dick slipping out of you, and he crouches down to be level with your crotch. He watches as his cum begins to seep out of you, two of his fingers instinctively pushing it back into you.

“Too much,” you whine. Johnny laughs, pulling his fingers out and wiping them on the sheets. He slips into bed, pulling your body close to his. Your head rests on his bare chest, legs tangling with his as his arms wrap around you. He moves your hair out of your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead before letting out a satisfied sigh and sinking further into the bed. You close your eyes, snuggling into his side.

“I’m just going to take a quick nap,” you say.

“Quick nap? Baby, it’s nearly midnight, just go to sleep.”

“Nuh-uh. You said we’re going ‘till the daylight. Give me like 30 minutes and I’ll be good to go again.”

“You’re insane,” Johnny says with a laugh, his dick stirring at the thought of going for another around.

“You love it, though.”

“You got me there.”

#nct smut #johnny suh #seo youngho #johnny fic #johnny smut #kpop smut #nct fluff #kpop fluff #nct 127 #kpop #kpop scenarios #nct 127 smut #nice boys

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yewfallen · 3 years

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a collection of drabbles under the cut about febail and his different potential fathers from various timelines. goes a lil into tiny hcs for each in varying ways. i only went for predestined fathers as well as some popular choices because i don't have the steam to go for every single possibility LMAO as intriguing as some of the unexplored ones can be.

[ALEC]

Febail remembers very little about his father and mother, but when he tries his hardest to recall his youngest days from before Patty had been born, he notices how the scenery always seems to change each time. At times, the world is blanketed in white and lovers huddle close for warmth. A man he presumes to be his father sneaks a little dollop of snow onto his little cheek, telling him to see the world and brave it, li'l guy. His father has a way of making the most mundane things sound so fantastical, like this world was a wonderful thing to wake up to each day.

And one day, his father would never wake up to meet tomorrow ever again.

But before that, the change from castle to castle, battlefield to battlefield, and country to country seems to suit him and his lady love just fine. Two souls, roaming the world with their son in tow, daring to find treasures and loving people alike.

Their son will grow to be the type to fall too easily in love just like his father before him. Their son will grow to be fearless too, just as if the ghost of his father had taught him that no enemy could find a weakness in him.

Their son will grow to barely know either of them once the flames of Belhalla claim them both, and it will be up to a family friend to drop him and his newborn sister off at an orphanage in Conote, none the wiser.

___

[FINN]

Febail had known the snows of Silesse and the fires of Belhalla long before he had known the man that was his father.

After the fallout of Sigurd's army, Brigid had taken her son east towards the Munster Region, traveling only at night. In hindsight, it was to escape any watchful eyes, but as young as he was, he was none the wiser. When he had asked his mother where they were going, she would tell him it was to see his old man, and that was all he needed to know to be excited.

Leonster was a pretty place where flowers bloomed for as far as the eye could see and the weather was always temperate. There was never a day where there was not enough food to eat, and neither was there a day where his mother went by unloved. Soon enough, that love manifested into another child.

However, beauty is fleeting, and the day after Febail's younger sister was born, the dream-like state of that year in Leonster fades away in a blink of an eye. They hadn't even said goodbye to his father, coming into his life and receding just as quickly as the ocean's waves.

By the time Febail meets his father again, he can't remember him at all and his father can't recognize him in turn. They walk past one another like strangers, a son grown up to live on his own and a father grown to realize the things he loves will all leave him before he is ready to let go.

___

[MIDIR]

When Febail tries to remember his parents, it's always his mother that comes to mind first. She was striking and bold from what he can recall. From where he sat as a little baby, it was always her that he was pointed to look at, like she was someone whose presence was something to bask in every time she walked into the room.

When Patty prompts him to say what he remembers of their mother, the first thing Febail can think to say was that she is beautiful. Her memories of her visage are nothing more than a haze, least of all the kind of thing a boy can rely on to say one way or another on the topic, and yet he knows it.

She's beautiful, a voice had murmured from behind him often. He had heard it so often, it had become something like a mantra for the man who had said it to him. His father had held him, taking the role of his constant caregiver but he had lined himself in shadow always. Every day was a day lived in disbelief, one that framed his mother as something holy, something somehow untouchable, and the only thing worth looking at until Febail realized he hardly knew a thing about his father at all.

The only thing he did know in the end was that his father revered his mother in some sort of way, and it had stuck with him long after any memories of what the man looked or sounded like had long since turned murky.

___

[DEW]

A youthful man takes his infant son to the market one day. The shopkeepers joke around, not believing the little scrap of a thief they had known would really grow up to get a child of his own even as the thief himself claims the bundle as his, and he brags to the world of his courageous and badass wife, to which the pawnbroker and blacksmith both roll their eyes and simply give a good-natured laugh.

The thief takes his son to the market many more times after that, teaching him the ins-and-outs of every shop in every town and later how to haggle and find a good deal just about anywhere he goes. The vendors rib him, asking if it isn't a bit too early to teach a young thing like that all this stuff, to which the thief replies, “It's the early bird that gets the worm!”

When Febail grows up, that little saying sticks in him, and he makes it a habit to go to the markets early, browsing the merchandise and expertly talking down even the coldest of merchants to let him get his wares for cheap. Every gold coin counts when you've got a whole house of mouths to feed, and the less he can spend on himself, the more he can send back to the little ones in Conote waiting for him, he thinks.

The blacksmith looks at Febail, at first unwilling, but when he sees the boy's green eyes that speak of an upbeat day in a bleak, cold world as theirs, the blacksmith remembers that thief from two decades ago and finds it in him to melt his heart, even if it is at the cost of his own pockets.

He wonders where that thief went, and where his little lad went with him.

___

[JAMKE]

Today, Verdane has a new prince.

Lady Edain of Yngvi sits next to her sister who's in bed with her newborn son, exhausted for the effort of pushing him out it looks. Jamke knows not at first whether to disturb the sisters until the two invite him in, to which he pardons himself and comes in on unsure footsteps still.

The reality of everything hasn't come to sink in quite yet. Seeing this, Brigid rolls her eyes and beckons him even closer — closer — closer — and that's when she tells that husband of hers to hold their son in his arms and make everything feel real already. Her sister laughs watching the two of them before nodding and gently encouraging Jamke to take Febail from Brigid's arms, being the final push the man needs to nod and go along with it as awkward as he might be about the whole thing.

That's his son in his arms. That's another life in Verdane's royal family, a bloodline not destined to end with him after all. The weight of this baby feels all the more heavy with that knowledge, and even after a few minutes have passed with the young Febail in his hold, he still doesn't know what to say or how to react, gaping and gawking at his child like he's not even his.

Congratulations are given all around, carrying through the rest of the day as the various people in Sigurd's army come to visit the couple, and there's a few light-hearted jokes at how stoic Verdane's older prince is being, but Jamke takes that matter more to heart.

Why does he not know how to react? Brigid's going to get worried, but Jamke passes through that day further, still reacting to it like it's not his and her day to revel in.

It's not until later when they need to change Febail that he spots Ulir's brand faintly glowing on the baby's back, and Jamke's stony face breaks, erupting into a silent stream of tears.

For as long as Verdane has existed, it has been known as the land of savages by the other Jugdrali powers. Any peace his kingdom has ever been able to find has been recent but peace does not necessarily mean respect. After all, the moment their treaty had been broken, the Grannvalians and the rest of Jugdral had all been too quick to proclaim their disdain upon them again, voicing what they had merely kept quiet about all these years. Verdane would never be seen as their equal, devoid of the divine blessings they had all been given via their Crusader founders.

This would have been the truth forevermore, but when Jamke spots Febail's brand, he realizes that this truth has now shattered. With his son, he can see a happier future for his beloved fatherland and at last, Jamke finds he can express what exactly he feels about this new chapter in his life.

___

[CHULAINN]

It has been some time since the arena's most prized gladiator had left his days of coliseum hopping, trailing after a stronger fighter than him. He still remembers that day fresh in his mind as if it had happened just yesterday. Lord Sigurd's sword moved both gracefully and mightily, blade seemingly an extension of him and his ideals. Chulainn lived each day looking to die and his sword carried the weight of that baggage with it; meanwhile, Sigurd lived brighter than that, living to make a new life, and the way he fought was breathtaking. When Chulainn tasted defeat, he realized he really did want to live but not just any life.

He saw Sigurd's way and decided he wanted a piece of that too. His life hadn't been the same since.

The ride since has been a hell of one, and each bout and battle was another test for Chulainn's will to live. Did he want to see tomorrow? Did he see the future as having a place for him? Just what did he live for exactly?

Though he had joined Sir Sigurd's company to find out, he can't say he's answered any of these questions just yet. He's lived, he's loved, and one day, he's gained a son to call his own.

He asks Brigid what their son's name is, to which she answers Febail. Febail, he repeats, marveling at the sound of it before he says it again and again.

Brigid laughs, wondering what's got into him all of a sudden. It's just a name, after all.

But to Chulainn, it's more than a name. It's the thing to cement that their life together is real, and now he knows what to say when someone asks him what he lives for.

He's found his answer, he discovers, and his life finally feels complete.

And now he has something to lose.

#// will fully confess some of these pairings i don't like actually MAKRGMRGMMK but hopefully my biases don't come out too much in these??#// ofc none of these are like. set in stone for febail in toa. i'll let potential other muses help me figure that out later haha #+. / drabbles.

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years

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Brian Mansfield shared on Twitter that he found a thumb drive with data showing music Taylor was listening back in the day when he worked and interviewed her for USA Today. Article in question can still be accessed with the help of Wayback Machine, if Flash is enabled in your browser. Alternatively, you can check out the whole list, with around 500 song, HERE.

You can also check out playlist on Spotify that Brian made with the songs that 18-year-old Taylor listened to the most on her iPod, or you can check them out below the cut.

Taylor Swift's iPod When She Was 18

Family Force 5 - Love Addict

Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter

Patty Griffin - Christina

Better Than Ezra - Breathless

Metro Station - Now That We're Done

Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl

Trace Adkins - Every Light in the House

Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.

Jem - 24

Damien Rice - 9 Crimes

Yung Joc feat. Nitti Explicit - It's Goin' Down

Savage Garden - I Want You

The Cardigans - I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need to Be Nicer

Ingrid Michaelson - The Way I Am

Mat Kearney - All I Need

Aslyn - Be The Girl

John Mayer - Comfortable (EP Version)

Patty Griffin - Heavenly Day

The Corrs - Breathless

Brandi Carlile - What Can I Say

Coldplay - Sparks

Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On

Josh Rouse - It's The Nighttime

The Wreckers - Cigarettes

Chantal Kreviazuk - In This Life

The Veronicas - When It All Falls Apart

Hellogoodbye - Here In Your Arms

Coheed and Cambria - The Suffering

Gwen Stefani ft. Akon - The Sweet Escape

Dixie Chicks - Top Of The World

Dixie Chicks - Easy Silence

Mat Kearney - Where We Gonna Go From Here

Rachael Yamagata - Worn Me Down

Tyler Hilton - Kiss On (Revised)

Gavin DeGraw - Follow Through

Ben Jelen - Come On

Colbie Caillat - Feelings Show

Emerson Drive - Fall Into Me

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Liz Phair - Why Can't I?

Paris Hilton - Nothing In This World

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

Jimmy Eat World - The Middle

Lenny Kravitz - Again

Diana Anaid - Last Thing

Maroon 5 - Harder To Breathe

Metro Station - Shake It

LFO - Every Other Time (Radio Edit & Album Version)

Mindy Smith - Come To Jesus

Patty Griffin - Burgundy Shoes

Patty Griffin - Peter Pan

Plumb - Stranded

Better Than Ezra - Our Last Night

Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

Fort Minor feat. Holly Brook & Jonah Matranga - Where'd You Go

Lil Scrappy - No Problem

Patty Griffin - When It Don't Come Easy

Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - American Girl

Dem Franchize Boyz - Ridin' Rims

Unkle Bob - Swans

Jann Arden - Insensitive

Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes

Landon Pigg - Can't Let Go

LeAnn Rimes - The Right Kind Of Wrong

The Fray - Look After You

The Wallflowers - Closer To You

Matt Wertz - Red Meets Blue

The Veronicas - 4ever

Beyoncé - Irreplaceable

David Mead - Nashville

Something Corporate - Ruthless

Blu Sanders - Like the Movies

Britney Spears - Do Somethin'

Fefe Dobson - 8 x 10

Frankie J featuring Baby Bash - Obsesion (No Es Amor)

Gavin DeGraw - Belief

Kelly Clarkson - Some Kind of Miracle

Miranda Lambert - Kerosene

Pat Benatar - Wuthering Heights

Shakira - Don't Bother

SHeDAISY - In Terms Of Love

Tori Amos - A Sorta Fairytale

The Fray - How to Save a Life

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover

Coldplay - Yellow

Dixie Chicks - Cold Day In July

Gary Allan - Promise Broken

Kelly Clarkson - Low

Sheryl Crow - It's So Easy

Dixie Chicks - Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

Fefe Dobson - Revolution Song

Jet - Look What You've Done

John Mayer - Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

Michelle Branch - Goodbye To You

Plain White T's - Hate (I Really Don't Like You)

T.I. - What You Know

The Corrs - Summer Sunshine

Divinyls - I Touch Myself

Goo Goo Dolls - Here Is Gone

Pitbull ft. Lil Jon - Culo

Jake Owen - Ghosts

Lil Scrappy ft. Young Buck - Money In The Bank

BarlowGirl - Never Alone (Radio Remix)

Coldplay - The Scientist

Dem Franchize Boyz, Peanut, Charlay - Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It

Hope Partlow - Don't Go

Matchbox Twenty - Long Day

Semisonic - Closing Time

U2 - One

Brandi Carlile - Turpentine

Brandi Carlile - Throw It All Away

Mr. Big - To Be With You

Gabrielle - Out Of Reach

Colbie Caillat - One Fine Wire

Anna Nalick - Catalyst

Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down

Dixie Chicks - Not Ready to Make Nice

Fefe Dobson - Take Me Away

Staind - Everything Changes

Del Amitri - Roll To Me

Jake Owen - Eight Second Ride

Anna Nalick - Breathe (2 AM)

Bruce Robison - Virginia

Dixie Chicks - Lullaby

Dwight Yoakam - The Back of Your Hand

Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

The Veronicas - Everything I'm Not

Three 6 Mafia - Side 2 Side

Vertical Horizon - You're a God

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours

Joanna - Screaming Infidelities

David Gray - This Year's Love

Rachael Yamagata - Be Be Your Love

Sarah McLachlan - Fallen (Album Mix)

Backstreet Boys - Crawling Back to You

Pat Benatar - Hit Me With Your Best Shot

The All-American Rejects - Dirty Little Secret

Avril Lavigne - Fall To Pieces

Pat Benatar - Heartbreaker

Def Leppard - Photograph

Vanessa Carlton - Who's To Say

Mannie Fresh - Real Big

Alanis Morissette - Hands Clean

Ben Lee - Catch My Disease

Beyoncé, Bun B, Slim Thug ft. Bun B and Slim Thug - Check On It

Fefe Dobson - Don't Let It Go To Your Head

Grace Potter & The Nocturnals - Apologies

Jack Johnson - Taylor

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

Katie Herzig - Fools Gold

Matchbox Twenty - If You're Gone

The All-American Rejects - Swing, Swing

Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life

Jonas Brothers - Tonight

Acceptance - Different

Alison Krauss & Union Station - New Favorite

Ben Folds Five - Brick

Brandi Carlile - Fall Apart Again

Courtney Jaye - Can You Sleep

Dashboard Confessional - Ghost Of A Good Thing

Fefe Dobson - Bye Bye Boyfriend

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

John Mayer - Your Body Is a Wonderland

Mozella - You Wanted It

Oasis - Wonderwall

Shop Boyz - Party Like A Rock Star

Wheat - I Met A Girl

John Mayer - Waiting On the World to Change

#omg #now this is what I call a playlist...what a walk down memory lane!#some of these songs - they defined my childhood and teenage years...#weirdly enough unlike newer playlists that she shared - I actually know pretty much all of these songs and artists #there are so many classics on this playlist... so so soooo good. Baby Taylor had exquisite taste in music =)#there are more songs on USA Today snapshot of article - gonna add those later #also - Brian said he'll be adding more songs each time playlist gets 100 more followers so go follow...and I'll add songs here as he does #playlist #brian mansfield #Spotify #baby taylor #USA Today #tweet #about taylor #taylor swift #music recommendation

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angelicichor · 4 years

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Hello happy 2020! How are ya? Can I request some Nsfw Thomas Hewitt content? I love him so much, ❤

I’m kinda okay, just very disorganized lately, too nervous about school stuff and all ♥ But always willing to write for big boi Tommy uwu

N//SF//W

MISSED YA

♥ It has been a goddamn week.

♥ A week with both you and Thomas running errands, his staying at home and yours?

♥ Well, you’ve been forced to stay in the middle of the road for GOD knows how long, trying to catch somebody’s, ANYBODY’S attention to bring them back home for dinner, but you were pretty sure that Hoyt just wanted you to wither and die out there, leaving you with only one big water bottle for the whole day, standing in the hot Texas sun, the sunscreen barely helping your skin not turn into bacon strips as you awaited another group of people to pass you, only to fool them into getting you home.

♥ And the sense that Hoyt could easily pull them over for no reason instead of you standing here, alone, didn’t help.

♥ It also didn’t help that you’ve been standing here, hungry, thirsty, sweating and bored out of your mind, your mind able to go only to a few places before coming back to Thomas, his adorable, expressive eyes, his strong, rough hands, his broad shoulders shifting underneath that shirt he always wore, though in this heat sometimes he’d bless the world with taking it off, revealing his beautiful chest and that monstrous bicep and… that brought you to your last problem.

♥ Being too horny for your own good.

♥ And there being no big-ass thick butcher man to fuck you into the ground.

♥ And yes, that was A HUGE PROBLEM.

♥ Your whole body was being too needy, only adding to your agitation and the need to choke Hoyt’s lights out for making you do this, but you couldn’t do anything about this, the family needed to eat.

♥ You sighed at the sky, eyes watching the moving sun and you guessed it was around 4 o’clock, the old bastard was bound to come for you any time now and maybe finally, FINALLY you could rest.

♥ But your prayer was thrown in the gutter as the loud bass of a guitar rolled towards you, cutting the otherwise quiet ambiance of the drylands you’ve been forced to stay in. Your eyes did their best to tell what was coming, the waves of heat not helping your focus, your vision literally melting, but you could tell what it was just by it’s size, a big ol’ black jeep, full of teens in nothing but tank tops and t-shirts, rocking along in the vehicle to some loud music. Rock n’ roll, you could tell that much, but couldn’t tell what band, a shame, but maybe Hoyt would let you keep their discs with you after they’re fresh meat.

♥ Putting on your sweetest smile you started waving at them and noticed one girl pointing towards you, excited, it seemed, and sure enough once they stopped she was the first to run to you, a tall, dark skinned brunette, beautiful and just shining in this weather, it was really such a shame. “Hiya, babe! Whacha doing here lil’ thing?” She asked you, clearly enjoying some new company and eager to hear your story, and you weren’t gonna disappoint.

♥ “Ah, I live here, sweetie. Well not HERE, ya know, but in these here regions, but my dumbass of a daddy left my ass here so he could go grab some smokes from the city, while I wait here to faint in this damn heat and not tell ma’.” You scoffed and she gave you a long moan of worry, ruffling your hair. “Ah, baby, we’ll get ya home, don’tcha worry!” she cooed, before turning to the group of boy promptly starring at her ass. “Right, y’all?” she asked and they roared in confirmation.

♥ It was really a shame for those guys, but as you walked out towards the porch, catching the glimpse of Thomas’ hair in the window, all the guilt faded to the second plan. Trying to hide the haste in your voice you invited the 5 people inside, for dinner, something cold to drink and so the girl, Hannah, as you’ve learned, could scold your “papa”, something you were willing to see for sure, especially after crying to “mama” that “pa” had left you on the road to get smokes and Luda Mae slammed a tray of full glasses of water onto the table, shaking her head in disbelief, playing around with you. She did that rarely, but if it meant Hoyt getting an earful from a victim for no reason before they’re meat, then she’d be more into the idea. You both somehow loved Hoyt, but God, was he an asshole.

♥ There were no problems with the group, except for the boys getting rowdy with the tools in the shed, but Hanna told you she got them under control, you doubted that, but that let you slid into the basement, the chill of the room sending pleasant shivers down your spine, as did the rhythmic thuds of a cleaver cutting a block of meat clean off, once, again, and on repeat, as you leaned onto a wall, away from the pool of bloodied water right in front of the stairs, starring unashamedly at your dearly beloved’s arm tensing as he lifted the knife, only to lower it with enough power to create a small draft, making the metal tools above the bench clack against each other.

♥ ‘What a beast…’ you thought, a small smirk creeping onto your face, warning the world that you were up to no good.

♥ With another huff the cleaver stopped, getting locked into the wood and you saw his huge body shifting, slowly, cautiously, one brow cocking up at the sight of you, questioning why were you standing there like he didn’t notice you.

♥ His gaze made you shrink back, like a scolded child, but soon enough that deviousness took over, making you shuffle towards him, gently, shyly, coy, and straight away he knew - dangerous, but he stayed still, letting you have your fun. He could always tie you in the corner if things got too wild. He had work to do after all.

♥ With a tiny giggle you closed the distance, running your hand against the width of his covered back, before ducking to escape his grasp, instead jumping before him, your grabby hands clinging onto his apron in a light embrace, unable to circle him fully, joyful eyes focused on his expression, as his head bent slightly down, eyes squinting and brows furrowing with interest, the smirk on his lisp barely visible through the dark leather, asking - What are you doing?

♥ Your cheek nuzzled into his chest, eyes closing, with a happiness painting your face, comfort and he was about to hug you, realizing that you missed him.

♥ But you ducked again, leaving his hands to hang in the air, his head going even lower, air inflating his chest to flow out a second later in a longer, slightly frustrated breath. He had work, (Y/N).

♥ Your smug smile didn’t help his frustration. His hands rested on the workbench, gaze focused on you, watching you giggle and hide under his apron, confusing him completely.

♥ That is, until he felt your hand creep it’s way up from his tights to crotch, squeezing ever so lightly. Oh. OH.

♥ Thomas allowed his shoulders to relax, a warm chuckle rumbling through his body, his eyes closing to better feel your touch, feeling the lingering ghost of your fingers undoing his belt, listening to the small clack of the buckle, the small creak of pulled leather, then the clicking of the zipper coming undone in a slow motion, a deep breath moving through his lungs and out in a huff.

♥ He shuddered, feeling your breath on his boxers, your soft lips pressing onto his hardening length, welcoming it after a long time, trailing up, kiss by kiss, till it reached the tip, pressing a bit harder, a devious chuckle sounding underneath the man as he started breathing just a bit heavier, feeling his underwear becoming more and more uncomfortable.

♥ You let one of your hands slide under his balls, stroking them lightly, while your other worked him up and down, letting you feel his member’s growth and Thomas’ growl above you let you know that he was getting impatient with your teasing. It was a good thing he couldn’t see your eye roll or vicious grin, you’d certainly get in trouble for that.

♥ Deciding it was unwise to test him any further you pulled his boxers down, just enough to free his raging cock, already leaking some pre-cum. It was nice to know he missed you too.

♥ Your tongue trailed a long, slow line from his sack up to the tip, enveloping it with your soft lips and licking it gently, slowly making your way up and down, not taking him fully, while both of your hands trailed the muscle of his tights, firm and thick. The groan above you letting you know that he enjoyed the touch.

♥ Showing him mercy you pushed him down your throat, taking as much as you could, feeling the sting of his spread in your muscles and the slight reflex of his tip touching the back of your throat, then pulling back slowly, letting yourself calm down before setting a nice pace, feeling his body heat up, muscles twitch under your fingers, him trying to hold back, to lean into your touch instead of breaking your rhythm and his temperance lead out a moan from your lips when his tip hit your back again, the man sighing in pleasure as he felt the trail of your tongue pressing on his underside.

♥ With one of your hands massaging your heat now and the other stroking his balls, you knew the time for your control would be running short and Thomas’ hand pressing on the back of your head only confirmed your speculations.

♥ The pressure shifted from your head to you the nape of your neck, gripping around it tighter, a harsh shove, making you gag, the depths of your throat collapsing around him, letting him groan in pleasure before pulling away, and you were forced down in a coughing fit, but not for long as his arms surrounded you, lifting you up and onto his chest, his back bending slightly so your eyes could met his.

♥ With one hand still holding up he trailed the other one to your cheeks, wiping away a single tear that dared come out when your reflex struck.

♥ Gently he placed you atop his work bench, leaning in to allow you the reach to his mask, a silent question if it was okay to go without it and your fingers tangling against it assured him, that it was just fine. There was no worry as it was left on the wood.

♥ And gently your lips touched his, letting him taste the saltiness of your skin, mixed with the bitter taste that he left on them, and both of you were ready for the next part… Except you’d have to wait for that.

♥ “Thomas! Come here boy!” Luda Mae called from upstairs and you could hear the sound of a gunshot soon after, right, the people.

♥ You heard growl against your shoulder, where his head rested, his hands making the wood creak under his annoyed grip.

♥ “It’s fine, go get them, darling. I’ll be waiting.” you laughed, letting your finger trail the scars covering his jaw. He rolled his eyes, an unsatisfied pout crooking his disfigured lips. “Don’t give me that attitude. It wasn’t YOU who had to stand on the sun for a WEEK to get them here! Do your part, Hewitt.” you scolded him and his face was unimpressed to say the least, chest puffing up in an angry sigh, a tongue poking out from his lips to taunt you. And you gasp. “How rude! You kiss your mother with that mouth?!”

♥ He laughed, pressing a soft kiss on your lips - No, but you? Yes.

♥ You blushed at his boldness and watched as he picked up his chainsaw, the loud revving of it filling the otherwise silent basement.

♥ “Good luck.” you hummed and he nodded, leaving for his hunt.

#virgo writes #thomas hewitt x reader #leatherface x reader #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #thomas hewitt #tcm: the beginning #slasher community #I'm so sorry if this is messy I'm having problems focusing lately :'D #Needed to write some good ol' throatfucking with Tommy though... you know he needs the attention #hope that's fine #thank rammstein for this one bc I've been listening to them on repeat while writing this :'D

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dontasktheradiodemon · 3 years

Text

Egg Meeting 3/14/2021

Alastor visits Valera on Okkylk to “meet” an egg! An egg which hasn’t been laid yet, but like, it buzzes in magic static that Radio Demons can detect, so it’s still an interesting thing to meet if you’re an Alastor.

Alastor and Valera spend way too much time talking about the weird magical interdimensional tricks that Valera’s species can do because at one point Valera went “Alastor mentioned some of his occult experiences and I have decided I will be polite and NOT ask him about them” while Alastor went “Valera mentioned some of their occult experiences and they’re absolutely fascinating so I’m going to crack open my little grimoire and ASK A HUNDRED QUESTIONS and TAKE LOTS OF NOTES.”

He also somehow finagles himself into maybe being a fake-uncle, making the short list for a hypothetical godparent position, and definitely being the official Nightmare PTA Representative at any future school functions.

They also ended up following up on this conversation and it was awful and nobody enjoyed it.

(Starts as semi-OOC chatter and then segues into fully IC)

Alastor

SHOW HIM HIS FUTURE FAUX-NIBLING

Valera

He can meet Eelizzy the spectacular staticy egg

dazzler of, as of now, 100% of the people who've met this literal fetus in an egg in someone's goddamn stomach

Alastor

It’s definitely a lot louder than he generally expects eggs to be. Not, like, *audibly* loud. But still loud.

Valera

it is the sensation of like. those old tvs. the kind of fuzzy when you run your hands in the air right over the glass

Alastor

That’s a good stim

Valera

It's a GOOD STIM and now Val has just accepted that people are going to want to skim their hands over her stomach every time Egg goes brrrr

Alastor

He only does it for a couple of seconds before he’s like what the *fuck* am I doing that is somebody’s belly and stops himself and apologizes, how very rude of him

(But once the egg is laid all bets are off)

Valera

That egg is gonna get so much touching.

Alastor

Everyone with their hands over this egg like it’s the dead of winter and the egg is the only fireplace for miles

Valera

If eelizzy didn't want that she should have thought about it before she decided to be a stim

Egg buzzes rhythmically to music, and the lil beanie baby of A Child inside will kinda wiggle to the beat, which right now Val feels as a vague shifting of weight.

This thing has been exposed to music since it was conceived, it's too late for her

Alastor

Alastor will absolutely play some music for this egg to hear it buzz along

He’s like “You know my mother told me that when she was carrying me, a ghost would come to her and sing for me! She stopped hearing him when I was born. I don’t think I buzzed, though.” And then goes back to playing music like this is a totally normal fact to share out of the blue.

Valera

That's a very normal and not at all weird thing to tell someone. Yep. Fun little factoid to share with a friend.

Val just has to accept this as a new thing they know!!! "Well, hopefully I won't stop hearing you when Elizzy is born! I'm not too bad at charades, but it *would* complicate things."

Alastor

“Well, you could hear me just fine before then, so it’s probably fine!

Valera

Alastor sure had a WEIRD LIFE and Val is NOT SURE what to make of the snippets they heard. Humans aren't usually so Aware

Alastor

:) a special boy

Valera

On one hand, they almost want to *congratulate* him, on the other, did he get robbed of a normal childhood??? Should they offer condolences??? Help.

Alastor

:) :)

Valera

It worked out for him at least but at what cost....

Val doesn't actually know anything about his home life growing up! Like did he have a dad in the picture? Match and Leal didn't, but This guy has Surprised Her Before

Alastor

:) :) :)

Does Val ask or just Wonder?

Valera

They're still anxious about Alastor getting the wrong idea from them asking questions so they would Not ask.

They kept scwunching at the rehearsal because Leal was sitting with their main body patting them and singing in french to Soothe Their Dumb Ass

Alastor

So he just shares a weird-ass anecdote and then they marinate in the moment. Delightfully awkward

Valera

YEP

A little quip and then several seconds of dead air while Val goes on a face journey.

valera, wildly overthinking the second she doesn't have someone literally or figuratively holding her hand through a Social Interaction With Someone She Is Unsure Of Boundaries With

alastor: I was a haunted baby.

val: ..................... cool

Alastor

Alastor: and now I’m haunting YOUR baby! Haha isn’t that fun

Valera

Valera: A proud and noble tradition of baby haunting. Can't wait to see who she decides to haunt later in life.

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Do Veci have ghosts when they die?

He doesn’t know how Veci work, just that afterlives are something that happens to other people

Valera

Val: Nope, when we die for good our gods destroy our souls and recycle them. Unless you're an Autocrat, then you're turned into one of their little puppets used to enact their divine will and guide the next Autocrat. She'll have to find a mortal soul to haunt as a spirit.

Veci who die get put into the soul blender to get recycled for fresh soul meat

Alastor

Alastor: Pity. Environmentally friendly, I suppose.

Alastor: We just get thrown in the landfill and once a year a bunch of us get scooped into the trash compactor.

Valera

val: It's efficient! Kinda gross though, being made of the ground meat of souls. At least I get to look forward to a continued existence as some fucked up angel analog when someone makes me bite it someday. Wonder if I'll still recognize my kids?

Pat pat belly.

Alastor

Alastor: Can you ask your puppet predecessor?

Valera

val: I could try! He did have a daughter who's still alive, maybe if I made him manifest around her I'd get a reaction.

Alastor

Alastor: For her sake, I hope he does! Can’t imagine how awful it’d be if he didn’t! Although I don’t know how close you folks are to your ancestors. Even on Earth it varies.

Valera

val: Oh, very close! There are rooms in the Reppetto Compound still left exactly as the old owners left them when they died *hundreds* of years ago. There's never been a reason to clear them out, so we don't. I visit them occasionally, pay my respects. That's just the Veci though, I think the other species are much more practical.

Alastor

Alastor: ... And yet most of your ancestors get... “recycled.” They’re no longer around to visit the rooms left for them. That *is* a pity.

Alastor: Do Veci ever recognize shreds of their loved ones in their reincarnations?

Valera

val: Yes! It isn't unheard of for lovers to find each other again through old fragments, or a son to find that his child tugs at his soul to remind him of a dearly departed mother. Plenty of people recognize parts of me, some more strongly than others. Shreds tend to find their way back to their families. Sons, daughters, if you've experienced a loss you may find some glimmer of that person again in a generation or two.

Alastor

Alastor: Hm. Not quite gone forever, then. That’s good—the alternative is just too depressing, isn’t it!

Valera

val: Indeed! Full on reincarnation has even happened a few times, though the odds are, obviously, *incredibly* slim. We did have one guy though, who got reincarnated *three times in a row*. He's still alive, I've met him. Absolutely off the shits, never met someone less sane.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! Is madness a prerequisite or side-effect to full blown reincarnation?

Valera

val: A side effect, I imagine! That would probably mean remembering getting your essence shredded and then falling back together. He likes to say he's "all there but the mind". What about you though? Was your culture close to your ancestors?

Alastor

Alastor: One side closer than the other. Some humans reincarnate, I’m given to understand, but where I’m from once you’re ejected from your body you tend not to get a replacement. Some stick around, most move on to one afterlife or another—and at that point you mainly reach them through long-distance calls, spiritually speaking. They’re still *there,* but... not on the same *level* that we are.

Alastor: It’s a trade off, I suppose—no reincarnation means no way to see them in the flesh again, but on the other hand they’re always *themselves*—they never become somebody different.

Valera

val: That.. Is very alien, to me. But I don't dislike the concept. Preserved in time, an individual forever, able to be reached but not touched. I guess, for us, since we live such a long time... We get a lot of time with people. By the time they leave us, they've usually said all they'd ever want to. If they pop up again it's just a nice surprise.

Alastor

Alastor: We seem to only get enough time to figure out what we're doing and pass on a fraction of our tricks to the next generation or two, and then we're gone and our descendants have to bumble around just like we did! Maybe we need ghosts more.

Valera

val: Sounds like you need more haunted babies to me, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: Why, are there any others around for me to haunt?

Alastor: anyway, I wouldn't make a very good ancestor, considering my distinct lack of descendants.

Valera

val: Just pick a baby and declare yourself part of their life! Step-Ancestor them before they can blink!

val: In all seriousness, Leal's already conceded the title of uncle to you despite you not even asking for it, I think you can figure something out.

Alastor

Alastor: I— Has he?

Alastor: Well—I was about to get all presumptuous and commandeer it myself, but—er. Good. Thank you. Him.

Valera

Val: He has indeed. As he puts it, you were here first, and you're Penny's best friend so *obviously* the role of honorary uncle should be yours. If sinners did godparents, I'm sure he'd ask you to be hers. Or I assume as much!

Alastor

Alastor: ... oh. Well. I'd hoped, actually...

Awkward shuffle.

Alastor: ... I mean, a child can have more than one uncle.

Valera

val: What had you hoped, Alastor? I won't laugh or anything, I just need you to be clear with me.

Alastor

Alastor: ... to be that.

Valera

val: What, to be an uncle? Or a godparent?

Alastor

Alastor: I'm not picky about the term. Someone close enough to matter. Uncle, probably, I suppose. I don't know what a damned sinner would do as a godparent—but I wouldn't turn it down.

Valera

A thoughtful look.

val: I'd love to have you be an important part of my child's life, Alastor. Though, from what I *understand* of modern human customs, a non-religious godparent usually just means that if the parents die, the godparent steps in to either raise the kid or find them a home that would raise them the way the parents would want. Largely symbolic, but important nonetheless.

Alastor

Alastor: It's hard to be non-religious within a religious afterlife. But—just for the record, if anything happened to you two and you *didn't* have a plan in place, I'd probably be charging in to do that myself anyway. I'm not about to leave that child in the hands of somebody who's going to be halfhearted about it.

Valera

Val: Well there you go! Already ready to do your job, and you haven't even been handed the paperwork or negotiated a salary.

Alastor

Alastor: IS there paperwork?

He's giving a Skeptical Look

Valera

Val: What, you think they'd hand over an orphan child to any guy who showed up claiming to be a family friend? They like seeing some documents saying "if I die this guy is who I want protecting my kids while they're vulnerable".

Alastor

Alastor: ... All right, fair enough! I was just going to kidnap her and flee into the night, but I suppose a paper or two would keep law enforcement off my back.

Valera

Val: I'm flattered that you'd get in trouble with the interdimensional magic fish police for Eelizzy's sake, but let's spare everyone the hassle. I'll talk to Penny, see if he wants to do the godparents thing at all, but I know what name I'd be floating.

Alastor

Alastor: Well—that's fine, then. Thank you. It's an honor to be considered either way.

He's all self-conscious now, look at this awkward man

Valera

Val: Of course! And at the VERY least I want you to be close to her when she hatches. Good old _Uncle Alastor_ to spoil her when Penny and I are busy.

Look what happens when you actually tell Valera what you want. Blurses. Blessings and curses.

Alastor

Look at him he's got heart eyes

Alastor: Fortunately, I'm an expert at spoiling other people's children! Don't you worry, I'll be loading her up with penny candy and letting her get in all the trouble she wants. Maybe even nickel candy if I'm feeling generous.

Valera

Val: How generous! And speaking of candy, that reminds me. I visited New Orleans recently on business and picked up a few treats while I was there. Do you want some roman candy? I know you don't have a sweet tooth, but it seems like something one should offer regardless.

Alastor

Alastor: ... They're still making that? Is it the real deal or did the family sell the franchise to some big candy company?

Valera

Val: I bought it from the same old wagon as always, so I believe it's authentic! Wax paper and all!

Alastor

Alastor: Well... sure, I'll have some. Doubt I have the right teeth for taffy anymore, but...

Valera

Val: You'll muddle through somehow, I'm sure. What flavor does it for you, chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry?

She will whip out a few familiar looking wax paper rolled tubes to offer him. Crinkly!

Alastor

Takes a strawberry one!!

Valera

Val: I'll be sure to let you be the first one to take her to buy this _particular_ candy, when she's old enough to actually enjoy taffy.

Alastor

Give him a second, he managed to bite off a bit and now he's doing the whole dog-with-peanut-butter routine

Valera

Oh no, that's funny. She is LOOKING and SNICKERING at this man. Who knew the secret to silencing the radio demon was _chewy food?_

Alastor

Alastor: ... You know I don't remember this stuff being so hazardous.

He was expecting a RUSH OF NOSTALGIA but then he was like oh right I didn't eat this stuff more than like twice when I was alive, I just saw at the cart.

Valera

The wax paper is more nostalgic than the candy, understandable.

Val: Not having good molars does that, I only ate the stuff the one time to experience it. I like the paper though, it's a very unique experience.

Alastor

HOLD ON LET HIM GET THE LAST OF IT OUT OF HIS MOUTH, he thinks he'll attempt to eat the rest later.

Alastor: We'll see when she's old enough to attempt to eat these things, but—I don't see much point in holding off on letting her try taffy just for ME to do the honors. Seems like a very little thing to make a whole trip for.

Valera

Val: Okkylk doesn't really have much in the way of taffy, I doubt it would come up.. and it would be funny to see her suddenly be faced with a chewy candy to struggle against. This is _guaranteed_ entrainment.

Alastor

Alastor: Hah! I like your parenting philosophy. All the same—no need to wait on me to go get the taffy. I'm sure you'll have more opportunities to pick some up than I will.

Valera

Val: Nothing wrong with a little light torment, she gets candy out of it! Builds character! But yes yes, I get the picture. We'll see how it shakes out, play it by ear.

Alastor

Alastor: As long as she's being duly compensated for providing entertainment! :)

Valera

Val: Of course! She's still my _daughter_, if anything actually upset her that would be a whole different story. Penny would be _inconsolable._

She would also be inconsolable but let's ignore the wibbly sad eyes Val gets at the very thought

Alastor

Alastor: I'm sure we'd be taking turns supporting him through the grief. One person alone wouldn't be able to support that weight.

He's got no doubt Valera would be duly distressed but somehow, somehow he feels like Sir Pentious would be more dramatic about it. Just a hunch.

Valera

There is a distinct possibility that one of the parents may be A HAIR more dramatic, and it MIGHT not be the one with a degree in musical theater. Possibly.

Val: It's true, he's pretty heavy. Like a weighted blanket of emotion.

Alastor

HUFF.

Alastor: I’m going to be thinking of that the next time he flops on top of me.

Valera

Val: Good, you can share my curse. Every Pentious is full of emotion, genius, and, honestly, horny.

Alastor

Opens mouth. Shuts it. Opens it. Shrugs and makes noncommittal radio noises.

Alastor: ... Frankly I don’t know what a normal quantity of horny is.

Valera

Val: I did research, but I don't know how sound it is. We're outsiders trying to look in to a very strange world.

Alastor

Vaguely nods, yeah, that’s true

Alastor: ... What’s the research say?

Valera

Val: Once a week seems like normal horny, in a relationship? A heightened few weeks or months of activity at the start before it levels out seems normal too.

Alastor

Alastor: Weekly?? For the same activity? That’s not as bad as I’d thought, but doesn’t that get boring?

Alastor: ... No, okay, I could schedule a weekly dinner date and never get tired of it, I’ve got no room to talk.

Valera

Val: I was going to say! I do all kinds of stuff on a weekly basis without it getting dull. Plus it does wonders for relieving tension, which I can appreciate from a medical standpoint.

Alastor

SKEPTICAL LOOK

Alastor: You find it RELAXING?

Valera

Val: Well sure! It's only nerve wracking if you aren't at ease, and after almost an entire _year,_ Penny and I have figured out what we like. Plus.. Neither of us sweat, there's no cleanup to worry about, and after the fact the brain gets flooded with feel good chemicals.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right, the feel good chemicals, right.

Valera

Val: Not familiar with them, Alastor?

Alastor

Alastor: ......... We’re passingly acquainted

Alastor struggling to figure out how to answer without Discussing Specific Sex Acts

Valera

The STRUGGLE.

Val: Only passingly, interesting. Well, you get a lot more of them with a partner, suffice to say.

Alastor

He's just 8)

Alastor: I would prefer not to!

Valera

Val: You don't have to! I'm telling you why the allosexuals like it so much. Or why I assume they do.

Sex talk with two aces this can only go well!!

Alastor

It sounded like Valera was speaking from a little more than secondhand experience there for a bit but you know what? Alastor isn’t going to ask for clarification. It’s fine. Doesn’t need to know.

Alastor: ... To be quite frank, I prefer far less to be a co-star and more to be a fluffer. I’m sure that’s going to disappoint him sooner or later, but...

Valera

What? The visibly pregnant fish might have firsthand knowledge about sex? Perish the thought.

Alastor

You never know. Mary made it work.

Valera

Immaculate conception of her husband's child, sell that story to the news!

Val: I'm sure you two discussed that before getting together, no?

Alastor

Alastor: ... *As* we were getting together, yes.

Valera

Val: Well then! He knows what he signed up for, and unless he says it's a problem, it shouldn't be treated like one.

Dismissive little hand wave.

Alastor

Alastor: Yes, yes. I don’t intend to treat it like one. Just... making conversation about the whole ‘get more with a partner’ concept.

A similarly dismissive little gesture.

Valera

Val: Ah! Yes, I see, that was perhaps too blanket a statement. Well, he has his other partner, I assume?

Alastor

Alastor: I assume. He hasn’t talked about their sex life. None of my business, I’m sure.

Valera

Wiggly hand gesture.

Val: Yes and no. You ARE his partner.

Val: I tell Penny what Leal and I get up to.

Alastor

Alastor: But do you tell my alternate about how often you have sex with Sir Pentious?

Valera

Val: If he asks! Which he doesn't, really, but we did talk about the finer points of eating pussy.

Alastor

RAISED EYEBROW.

Alastor: ... I don’t think the man I’ve been dating for under a month owes me the details of a near stranger’s sex life. I’ve only met his other partner a couple of times, what business is it of mine what she gets up to?

Alastor: I wouldn’t mind knowing what HE gets up to, but sex is a group sport.

Valera

Val: It isn't like he owes you her life story in hardback, but a frank discussion isn't going to breach confidentiality.

Val: Dating someone who is dating someone else means you're entitled to know what you're consenting to, Alastor.

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve already consented to be with a man who’s probably sleeping with someone else, I can’t think of anything else they could be getting up to that would possibly affect me.

Alastor: Unless their bedroom activities happen to include calling up all my worst enemies and telling them everything they know about me—but if it did, I doubt he’d admit so if I asked about it, would he?

Valera

Her turn to raise an eyebrow.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I don’t think they ARE, I’m trying to think of the most out-there hypothetical possibility.

Valera

Val: Good, I was about to be worried. But really, if those are the boundaries you're comfortable with, that's fine. But I don't think you'd be out of line to ask for more information. Either you'll learn, or he'll tell you it isn't something he wants to discuss.

Alastor

Alastor: Honestly, it... doesn’t cross my mind.

Man has no object permanence when it comes to sex

Valera

Val: Dare I say it, mood. But really, if that's how you like it, good for you, keep on keeping on.

Alastor

Alastor: I intend to!

Unless Telly doesn’t like it, but they’ll cross that bridge when they reach it.

Valera

Val: Then there's no issue, I hope!

Alastor

Alastor: One hopes! ... How did we get on this?

Valera

Val: I... Think it started when I called Pentious horny? And then you got worried about not being an active enough participant?

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, yes, right! But worried, no. Just a passing thought.

Valera

Val: Well, based on my knowledge, as long as the partner gets off they don't often care about the methods.

Shrug! Don't ask where the knowledge came from.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! If it was that easy, I doubt so many people would be so distressed when the have to make do with their own hands!

Valera

Val: Did you know there's an entire subset of men that intentionally make their hands fall asleep so they can pretend someone else is getting them off?

Alastor

Alastor: You know, it just so happens I did. And I do not understand the appeal. It combines all the worst parts of getting your mouth numbed for a dental procedure with something half-dead and dangerously uncoordinated fumbling with your delicate bits.

Valera

WHEEZE... Oh that caught her off guard, give her a second to collect herself.

Alastor

He’ll wait. Smugly basking in his comedic genius.

Valera

Val: You said it yourself, sex is a group activity for a lot of people. Lonely people want someone else to make them feel good.

Alastor

Alastor: But if that’s all it takes, then why for so many people is a hand inferior to a mouth, and a mouth inferior to a more intimate part? No, I’m sure that there’s more to it than simply a desire for company when cleaning one’s pipes. The methods don’t trump the company, but they do matter.

Valera

Val: I could say more, but then I'd have to start talking about my own _alleged_ experiences.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is the answer going to be something to the effect of “that particular bit of anatomy feels nicer against one’s equipment than other bits of anatomy?”

Valera

Val: Kind of. I'm sure some people prefer various bits, and they certainly feel _different._ I wouldn't say better though, just on physical contact alone.

Alastor

Alastor: ..."Kind of"?

You know what they say about cats and curiosity

Valera

Val: Yes, kind of. A hand can do things a mouth can't, and vice versa.

Alastor

Alastor: All right! That’s more or less where I thought you were going with that.

Valera

Val: Yes! Though there's a lot to be said for the varying degrees of intimacy.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m sure there is! No doubt there’s something special about the moment you finally get to show your loved one the parts of yourself you previously only shared with your toilet. ... So sorry, I don’t mean to be *dismissive* of the whole thing—I can just never quite get over that association, you know?

Valera

Val: Oh, no, I agree _completely._ Not that I'd tell that to Penny, of course. That would be cruel. But if my husband wants to mutually stimulate nerve endings a few times a week I'm happy to make him happy.

Alastor

SNORT. Mutually stimulate nerve endings.

Alastor: Well, what couples are equally interested in ALL their hobbies?

Valera

Val: None, unless it's two alternates of the same person, I guess!

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, you’d be surprised.

Valera

Val: Oh?? That sounds ominous. You know something I don't?

Alastor

Alastor: I know a lot of my own alternates, primarily!

Valera

Val: Yes, and I suppose even they have varying levels of interest in things?

Alastor

Alastor: Wildly varying! Why, sometimes you can meet yourself and wonder where you have anything in common at all! It’s fascinating, really.

Valera

Val: Goodness, that DOES sound fascinating. I can't imagine.. There's only one me, the idea of a me who isn't like me at all is just bizarre!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one? Or only one that you’ve found so far?

Valera

Val: By virtue of what I am, the only one! Unless something goes VERY Wrong.

Alastor

Alastor: Really! Do elaborate?

Valera

Val: I'm a singularity! There is one me, just in a lot of places!

Alastor

Slow blink.

Alastor: ... Like a god?

Valera

Val: Is... Is that a god thing?

Squint.

Alastor

Alastor: I don’t know many other things that can be in multiple places at once and yet remain an undivided entity with a singular source. Either a god or a radio signal—and signals can get distorted.

Valera

Val: ..... I'd rather be a radio signal than a god, honestly, but. Yeah, I guess? I didn't think it was so uncommon!

Alastor

Alastor: I’ve seen people so rare that even when they go looking, they can only find themselves in one universe—but that’s usually a trick of the universe itself, some little chain of cause-and-effect that only worked out once! Move a dimension to the left and their parents never met, move a dimension to the right and their grandmother died in infancy, and so on. But what *you’re* talking about—one person with a simultaneous singular presence in many realities? That sounds to me like something operating a step higher than your run-of-the-mill monodimensional mortals.

Valera

Val: I could turn on the TV right now and show you what the me in another reality is doing right now, I'm fully aware of myself. Are you saying you _don't_ have that?

_When you are suddenly hit over the head with the fact that you're actually an outlier and not the standard_

Alastor

Alastor: If I want to know what another me is doing, I have to call him up and ask! And sometimes I’ll find out he’s been hearing salacious details about my best friend’s oral skills. I can assure you I wasn’t fully aware of THAT, hah! I’ve heard of people with psychic sensitivities to their alternate selves—a sudden sense of disembodied alarm when something goes wrong elsewhere, emotions without a source, that sort of thing—but that particular sensitivity doesn’t come naturally to me. As far as psychic abilities go, I’d say that one in particular is notably rare.

Valera

Blink.

Val: Oh. Uh. Well. All of my species is like this. _All_ of us are singular individuals.

Alastor

Alastor: ARE you singular individuals? Or do you have alternates just like any other species, but because all of your alternates are... psychically linked, as it were, your thoughts are so inextricably intermingled that the whole lot of you consider yourself one person with one identity?

Valera

Val: At that point, what's the difference?

Alastor

Alastor: It’s the difference between a radio transmitter broadcasting the same song to a dozen different radio receivers, versus a dozen individual radio transceivers that play the same songs because they’re directly broadcasting to each other. Is it one singular thing that’s being witnessed in many places, or is it many separate things that have synchronized and homogenized with each other? In day-to-day life the difference might not matter; but philosophically, spiritually, magically, I think it all makes a great difference!

Valera

Val: Fair enough! But I still believe it's the former. The me you see now is the me that all the information goes back to. We've never cared enough to investigate it in depth.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Do you mean information *doesn’t* go back to the other versions of you?

He’s fascinated, he’s taking mental notes, he’s going all metaphysical occultist on this.

Valera

Val: Of course it does, if I don't intentionally restrict it, which is not something I'd be inclined to do. I'm simply aware of them the way you are aware of your arm.

Alastor

Alastor: So all versions of you get all the information from all versions of you.

Valera

Val: Yes! Unless I'm playing one of my games. Sometimes I'll make myself think I'm a normal mortal for a while. It's fun!

Alastor

Alastor: ......... Let’s unpack that a little.

Valera

Val: Sure! Where do we start?

Alastor

Alastor: Your “games”?

Valera

Val: Yes! A lot of Veci do it as they get older. They'll go to a universe and have one of themselves live a very normal mortal life, unaware of what they actually are.

Val: It's a fascinating perspective.

Alastor

Alastor: So, you cut off one version of yourself from the hive mind. And this version, I take it, then forgets for the duration of the game that they were once a part of a hive mind? Their memories only consist of what they experienced in their own home universe, and anything that they thought or did due to the influence of their other selves, they... what, make up a new false memory to explain away, something like that? And they aren’t receiving information, but they’re still sending out information for the rest of you to receive?

Valera

Val: Yes! Exactly so. A one way broadcast back to home base.

Alastor

Alastor: Huh! What about the people around the game piece who know they ought to be connected to other dimensions—or do you disguise yourself and drop yourself on some alien planet before you start the game?

Valera

Val: The latter! It's no fun if other people know things you don't, they could ruin the game for you. Unless you're going somewhere dangerous, then a lot of people will ask someone to send in an aware variant of themselves to help keep them in the game longer. Istoph does that for me in some places!

Alastor

Alastor: Does your game piece go in cold, wandering around like an amnesiac? Or are they given some sort of... of false set of memories, to blend in with the locals?

Valera

Val: Depends which is more interesting. Usually the latter, unless I can think of a reason that an amnesia story would work better.

Alastor

Alastor: And when does the game end? Death? Discovery? Is there a way for your game piece to "win" or is the game only supposed to be watched?

Valera

Val: It's usually for a set amount of time! A year or two, a decade at most. I don't let them Reproduce or anything, I don't want to go sowing any wild oats. That's how you get overly sensitive humans half the damn time.

A shake of her head.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Yes, that *would* do it.

Valera

Val: ... I don't.. I don't mean to imply _you_ were a result of that or anything. There is more than one way that could happen.

Alastor

Although he doesn't much like the thought that someone somewhere could use that information to dismiss particularly psychic humans as partially inhuman.

Alastor: I should hope I wasn't! I come from a long line of magically gifted people—we don't need the outside help!

Valera

Val: Hah! I know, I could practically smell it on you. If I turned you loose on Okkylk you'd get swarmed.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Swarmed like a dog in heat, or swarmed like a bleeder amidst sharks?

Valera

Val: .... Considering how violent Veci are in the act, uh. Both.

Alastor

A slow, slow nod.

Alastor: ... To steal my traits.

Valera

FACE JOURNEY

Val: I take it he told you about that one, eh? Not his finest moment

Alastor

Alastor: It will be my most carefully-guarded secret. ... But you knew about it already, so.

Valera

Val: To be fair, it's hilarious. I was minding my own business and then the guy I just started dating calls me to accuse me of stealing his traits like some kind of succubus.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I think succubi reproduce with humans because it’s easier, rather than because they want human traits. But don’t quote me on that, I don’t talk to many succubi.

Valera

Val: Neither do I, honestly. Plus, come on. Really? I could have just seduced him, I'm the one that insisted on a relationship.

Alastor

Alastor: Well, how many traits did you *want?* It could take a while!

Valera

Val: Oh yes, of course. If I'm going to get traits I may as well get a full set out of him! However many that is!

Alastor

Alastor: Only one way to find out!

Valera

Val: You're just saying that so you can flex on your alts with all the kids who'd call you uncle.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m willing to share unclehood with as many of my alternates who care to claim it!

Hand over heart, how magnanimous.

Alastor: ... So, are you only pregnant in this universe or all of them?

Valera

Val: Only this one. This is the only body that's gotten plowed by anyone and that's how I'm keeping it.

Snrk.

Alastor

Alastor: Then which universe any given Veci has... copies, facets, whatever—of themself in will vary wildly, depending on whether or not their parents happened to have synchronized date nights across those universes? I suppose it would be *easier* to synchronize up, if every version of you is connected—just like a whole line of dancers doing the can-can together—but what if one body sneezes and an egg doesn’t get filled, does that Veci just have one less version of themself than everyone else? Will Eelizzy have no other selves across the universe?

Valera

val: ..Do you think I'm going to sneeze too hard and shoot this egg across the-- Nevermind. Veci children aren't stable enough to exist in multiple realities, they have to grow up and get more control of their magic before they can manifest across realms.

Alastor

Eyebrows shoot up.

Alastor: No, I was talking about the conception, splash one or two drops the other way and... never mind, that’s the boring part! You’re telling me you start off as one singular entity in a singular universe—and *then* you split off into separate versions of yourself... deliberately?

Valera

Val: Well of course! There's only one Pelagios right now, he won't split off until he's fifteen for his first practice run, and then in earnest in his twenties. Rite of passage and all that!

Alastor

AMAZED BLINK. And then he’s opening a portal and hauling out his grimoire, ‘scuse him, don’t mind him.

Valera

She watches, slow blinking. What, did THAT catch his attention?

Alastor

Alastor: I should have been taking notes all along—I apologize, I do believe you were right, you *are* a lone tower transmitting to many receivers—or at the very least you do start off as one tower! How do you split, does it follow the natural branching of timelines—when two paths of history split over somebody’s decision, you just keep conscious contact with the two versions of you formed at that fork? Or do you create your duplicate self and then assign it to some pre-chosen timeline?

Scribble scribble SCRIBBLE scribble.

Valera

Val: The latter at first, I see a reality that interests me and drop in, and then as it progresses, it becomes the former. As the timeline I chose to investigate develops and changes, I follow the branching paths and observe the varying realities. It is *fascinating* stuff. Though sometimes a branch seems doomed, in which case I'll usually withdraw and send that variant elsewhere instead. Start the whole process over.

Alastor

Alastor: So you can pick and choose which path you follow—but you don’t AUTOMATICALLY form another version of yourself, only when you want to? That means that more versions of you AREN’T forming every single time a timeline you’re in branches, correct? But a single timeline can branch countless times, a hundred times an hour—I’m pulling that number out of my you-know, just as an example—if a timeline branches a hundred times an hour, then that means that in ninety-nine percent of all those timelines, a Veci living in it will suddenly... vanish into thin air? Is that right?

Valera

Val: Close enough, which is *generally* why we try to live very lowkey lives. Making new branches of yourself isn't.. *energy consuming* or anything, but you have to be able to process that amount of information. We don't vanish into thin air, but we'll often arrange a swift withdrawal. A sudden move, a staged home invasion, or, in a pinch, just erase ourselves from people's memories. Though that one is imprecise and often leaves lingering traces. Not ideal.

Alastor

Alastor: I imagine it explains an encounter with the fae or two.

Valera

Val: Probably? That's my theory.

Alastor

Alastor: And how often DO timelines branch around you, would you estimate? Are you abandoning thousands of iterations of the same place a day or... Well, I sort of *imagine* that time branches at ridiculously high rates, but I don’t actually know.

Valera

val: Not as often as you think honestly. Obviously it happens, but most people aren't wildly changing reality with every move. The butterfly effect is not as impactful as people believe it is.

Alastor

Alastor gratefully waves away the nightmarish thought of a million sad snakes wondering where his wife went.

Valera

Thoughtful hum....

Val: *You* probably caused a split, back in the day. There's a reality out there where you're dating the Pentious of your Hell. That was a fairly significant moment with pretty obvious impact on the rest of the population.

Alastor

Alastor: I’d always wondered about that! The whole ‘butterfly’ effect thing—particularly considering how often universes seem to CONVERGE on each other. Those of us who have more conventional alternates—it’s *amazing* how often I can talk to myself and think “why, you and I are so similar—our realities must have split no more than ten minutes ago!” and then I find out my other self has completely different parents and a big sister to boot. If two universes that started out in utterly different places can drift back together—

Oh. He stops talking with a noise like a motor dying.

Valera

Slow nod.

Val: It's not like every breakup causes a split in realities. But a drastic choice that results in explosions? Yeah.

Alastor

From 100 to 0 with one sentence.

Valera

Shoulder pat.

Val: It's weird to think about.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I hope he’s doing better.

Valera

Val: ... You're doing better too, Alastor. Better than you were.

Alastor

Alastor: I didn’t mean my alternate.

Valera

Squint.

Val: Your Pentious.

Alastor

Alastor: The one over there isn’t “my” Pentious. ... Sir Pentious. He’s just an alternate of my Sir Pentious, just like the one I’m seeing is an alternate of my Sir Pentious, and the one you’re married to is an alternate of my Sir Pentious. He just branched off a little more recently, that’s all.

Alastor: “My” Sir Pentious will always be the one that I backstabbed.

Valera

Val: He's fine. And *yours* will be okay too. We both know Sir Pentious is stubborn and unstoppable.

Alastor

Alastor: Stubborn, yes. ... We’re going to fix all that, though. So that this never happened.

Alastor: The original plan was to... to wrench the course of this timeline off its current path and onto the path it *would* have had if that decision had been different. But if you think the timeline *already* split there—then it’s not so much a matter of relocating this timeline as it is—just erasing it entirely, so that the other one is the only one left. Right?

Valera

She grimaces. That's a *lot* of people she'd be killing. Erasing from existence. Whatever.

Alastor

She agreed to it once before.

Valera

Val: Yeah, essentially. Not pleasant to think about, but... Yeah. And it's theoretically possible, but. Again. Fifty fifty shot.

Val: I'm... Surprised you'd still want to do it, though. You've got a boyfriend now. What about him?

Alastor

He squeezes his eyes shut and looks pained a second. That’s the same thought that he had. And that he HAS had about a thousand times.

Alastor: This was never about what I want, it was about him. Putting him back on track. Where he deserves to be.

Valera

Val: .... Not to... Okay, you know what, *yes* to be that person. But you want to help one Pentious by hurting another? If you wanted to spare the man you backstabbed, you shouldn't have started dating Telly. You *know* losing you is going to hurt him, *if* it works.

Alastor

Another pained wince.

Alastor: No, you’re right, I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to, but I did, and I shouldn’t have. And I knew I shouldn’t have, and... well. Here we are. But I can’t just—just change my mind, not when I have my first chance to make this right!

Valera

Val: I know. I understand. I—I wish I didn't but I *do* and I hate it. And I'm still going to try and help you. If you're sure you want to try. Even though this is. *Awful.* And only going to hurt people. Penny. Telly. Gods only know what will happen if we succeed. If we don't.. You'll hurt him anyway. You know this isn't something you should keep secret from him.

Alastor

And we’ve got a triple pained wince combo!

Alastor: How can I *not?* How can I just—just... happily go about my days, having picnics with one version of him and cuddling up to sleep with another, merrily getting ready for my big Broadway debut, dreaming about infernal conquest like I haven’t been able to dream in half a century—when he’s Hell’s laughingstock because of me?! Everything’s finally coming together for me, but the man I loved first and longest is a joke! How can I live out his dreams with an echo of him? What the Hell gives me the right to let a world like that exist?

Valera

Val: I know we've discussed this before, but. Tell me. Why haven't you tried to make amends? You'll never be friends again, obviously, but surely you could take out some overlords, or anonymously provide supplies... Do some networking, find allies to thrust his way without your name ever crossing his mind?

Frown...

Alastor

Alastor: ... I’ve done a bit. Taken out some of his rivals, that sort of thing.

Valera

Val: That's good! If your major grievance is that you've ruined his life, isn't it right to fix the damage you've caused, even if it's hard?

Alastor

Alastor: And then I heard him whining about how somebody else took down his foes before he had a chance to.

Wan smile.

Valera

.... Somehow, she doesn't look surprised. She just rolls her eyes.

Val: Okay, yeah that sounds like Every Pentious I Know.

Alastor

Smiles a little wider for a second

Alastor: Doesn’t it?

Valera

Val: I love my Penny, truly, but he's a _brat_ and so are his alts. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, Alastor. Literally. You might as well be damned handing the man an overlord on a platter. Even if he complains, at least he's getting a chance to rebuild.

Alastor

Alastor: ... I—*hm*—but—It isn’t *right.* It shouldn’t be just, just... He’s had half a century wasted. All that should be gone. Not just made up for after the fact, but—GONE. Shouldn’t it? Throwing him favors after the fact is, it’s... it’s...

Gestures vaguely and throws out meaningless sound effects. You know!!!

Valera

A sympathetic nod.

Val: I know. Erasing it seems like the kindest option, but is it? Would that be what _he'd_ want? To simply undo everything? Or would he want to claw his way back to the top and spit in the face of every overlord who tried to keep him down? You know him better than I do, so this is not rhetorical. It's a genuine question.

Alastor

He’s gotta stop and stare into space while he thinks about that.

Alastor: ... If somebody asked the Sir Pentious of today if he’d want the last century of troubles retroactively wiped away... I don’t know. I don’t know if he’d rather *have* the throne or *earn* the throne. He’s never had any shame about using an unfair advantage, the only reason he was able to conquer half the States was because he was filthy rich for no good reason and he’ll tell you so himself, but... he wouldn’t want somebody else to do his conquering *for* him, but I don’t know if that’s what he’d consider somebody changing history for him. But if I asked the Sir Pentious of ‘66 which route he’d like to go on, the one where he’s got a loyal ally and can get on with the business of conquest or the one where he’s betrayed and has to start at square one just for a fun extra challenge, he’d ask me if I’m crazy and say he’d rather have the first route. No question.

Alastor: ... But he already HAS that route, if you’re right. If it split then. If it *did* split then, then I’m not... I’m not giving the one I know a little mind wipe and transplanting him sideways into a better reality. That reality is already there and populated. I’m just... destroying him. Right?

Valera

Val: Correct. Is that mercy? Is that making amends?

Val: Wouldn't it be better to improve his life, rather than erase him entirely?

She almost reaches for Alastor's hand, but thinks better of it. Fiddle with her necklace it is.

Alastor

Alastor: ... Is there a way to see? If that universe already exists? If it doesn’t then we can proceed as planned.

Valera

Val: Oh, yes of course there is. I could try to find it, put myself in it the way I do any other universe. Would you like me to?

Alastor

Alastor: It could settle things.

Valera

Val: True. Do I have permission to peek under the hood of your reality?

Alastor

Alastor: ... What, right now?? You can just do it on the spot?

Valera

Val: I could, but I'm not going to. I'm _heavily_ pregnant and my baby is liable to start spitting static that could mess with my spells. I'll have to wait until she's tuckered out, play something energetic until the little thing wiggles herself senseless.

She pats her belly affectionately, but with a roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Right. Of course.

... Plays something energetic.

Valera

The egg, predictably, seems very excited about this sudden turn of events and starts throwing hissing nonsense static fuzz into the air with a sensation not unlike static electricity.

Valera raises an eyebrow at Alastor.

Alastor

Valera

Val: Spoiling her already, are we? She's getting big enough to actually feel her moving, you know.

Alastor

Alastor: It was your idea. :) But really? Through the egg and all?

Valera

Val: Yes! Soft shelled eggs are a lot easier to feel through than hard shells, and she is _wiggling_. It's not obvious like a human baby kicking, but there's definitely weight shifting.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, right—they WERE soft, weren’t they! I was trying to be polite and not look too closely.

Valera

Val: Understandable! Amusingly similar to snake eggs, really. Which means by the time May rolls around I'm going to be strangling any radio demon brave enough to try and get this baby active.

She's grinning, but not in a way that says she's joking.

Alastor

Alastor: You were the one who suggested getting her to wiggle herself senseless, I’m only following your sage advice.

Valera

Val: You're evil. How _dare_ you listen to me. If my daughter wants to learn the trumpet when she's older it's your fault. She's being seduced by _Jazz music_.

Alastor

Alastor: I’m setting her up for a life of vice and villainy, EXACTLY as I’m sure her father would want.

Valera

Val: He'll want her learning the pipe organ and how to cackle maniacally. That classic Romantic ideal of brooding and fits of murderous passion. You'll have her _flashing ankles_ on the dance floor!!

A mock gasp!! Perish the thought!

Alastor

Alastor: All the better to shock and scandalize her enemies, right before eliminating them! If they’re staring at her ankles, they’ll never see her gun.

Valera

Val: Bold, I like it. But you'll have to explain that one to Penny, I can already tell he's going to be one of those dads who fawn over their daughter. Leal too, even if he insists he's not attached.

A VERY dramatic roll of the eyes.

Alastor

Alastor: Ha! Then I can do one better—I’ll get *her* to explain it to Sir Pentious.

Valera

Val: Oh that can _only_ go well. I'm holding you to that one, Alastor.

Alastor

A wink.

Alastor: My alternate can fawn over her—I think instead I’ll conspire with her. I just hope she’s a rascal.

Valera

Val: Well I don't know about _Penny_, but I was a rascal without equal in my youth! I knocked over half the shelves in a library and pinned it on another kid. I'm sure she'll give me as many headaches as I gave my caretakers.

Alastor

Alastor: Never you fear, I'll do my best to make sure she lives up to the precedent you've set!

Valera

Val: I appreciate that, Alastor! I'm sure I'll be much too busy doing boring parent stuff. Not sure what, but it'll catch me. Maybe I'll go to a PTA meeting.

Alastor

Alastor: A... what meeting?

The man hasn't been around children in almost nine decades, he'd forgotten such esoteric acronyms. It sounds like a military thing.

Valera

Val: A PTA meeting! A parent teacher... SOMETHING meeting. I don't know what the A is for.

Alastor

Snaps fingers! Now it’s familiar.

Alastor: Assassination.

Alastor: ... Wait.

Valera

Val: I don't think I'm supposed to assassinate the teachers. Although, if they're doing a bad job...

Kombucha girl face journey.

Val: No. No. It's probably association or something stupid like that.

Alastor

SNAPS FINGERS AGAIN.

Alastor: THAT was it! Association! Pity, “Parent Teacher Assassination” sounded far more fun.

Valera

Val: It DOES sound more fun. Now I'm disappointed.

Alastor

Alastor: Sounds like a fantastic parent-child bonding activity, too!

Valera

Val: Take the teacher with the lowest reviews and hunt them for sport? Sounds like something you'd enjoy.

Alastor

He’s got to pause and think about that for a moment.

Alastor: Who’s reviewing them?

Valera

Val: Not sure. The students, I imagine?

Alastor

Alastor: All right, seems fair! I’m for it!

Valera

Val: Good! You'll be handling the PTA meetings then, that's _one_ less thing for me to worry about.

Snrk snrk. She's kidding. Probably.

Alastor

Alastor: Oh, CAN I? I’ve always wanted to be a problem at school events! An *adult* problem, I mean. I imagine it’s a somewhat different experience from being a student problem.

Valera

Val: What, you want to get saddled with my kid for an evening to go to a school and scare the hell out of the staff?

Alastor

Alastor: Scare them, annoy the hell out of them, say wildly inaccurate things that they’re forced to agree with because they know I’m there on behalf of the autocrat... any of the above, really!

Valera

Val: Well damn! Alright, I'll make sure you go to at least a couple of them. If I send you and one of your alts we can _really_ get a show.

Alastor

Oh look at him he’s ecstatic. This just opened up a whole new world of pranks.

Valera

Val: I've never seen someone so excited about going to a PTA meeting. But hey, who am I to deny you fresh victims? Congratulations on your upcoming career in school harassment.

Alastor

Alastor: Thank you, I eagerly anticipate it!

Valera

Egg probably wore herself out while they were discussing the finer points of PTA sabotage

Alastor

yeah there IS a secondary timeline where Sir Pent and Al are Hell's most feared power couple. Airships are everywhere. Lucifer is going "oh shit the prisoners are unionizing." Alastor and Sir Pent wear matching outfits. They have a kid, where did they get a kid, did they adopt a baby imp or something??? what the fuck

Valera

Oh my god

Val takes one look at that timeline, looks at that Alastor, looks at this one. Looks back. "Well you're a dad in this one." And does not provide context

Alastor

Alastor just. Sits on the floor.

Valera

Well she can't exactly pat his head so they just have to sit there. Timeline confirmed welcome to die

Alastor

"What's their name?"

Valera

"What, the kid? I didn't think to ask. Does it matter?"

Alastor

"Just wondered." He's gotta lay down.

Valera

Guess she's gotta go try to learn the kids name now if Alastor is gonna be a sad floppy man. Feels bad.

Alastor

He was gonna be a sad floppy man regardless.

Valera

It is in the nature of Alastors to be sad and floppy men

Valera

But only under SPECIFIC circumstances

Alastor

Selectively sad and floppy

Valera

"...... Alternate timeline you's kid is named Codie Grace." Alright that is enough telling Alastor things about the future he doesn't have

Alastor

In one universe The Alastor That Didn't Fuck Up is probably giving Valera this c: look like do you get it. do you. do you get it. And in this universe The Fuckup Alastor is squinting at the ceiling and then suddenly goes "WE NAMED OUR KID *COUP DE GRÂCE*?!"

Valera

VAL GETS IT AND SHE ISN'T SURE IF SHE LOVES IT OR HATES IT

But it is VERY like them, the bastards

Alastor

Alastor just covers his face and laughs. It is the laugh of a broken man. Yeah. Yeah that's what he would name a kid, dammit. It's true.

Valera

Poor Fuckup Alastor

Alastor

"... Are they successful, over there? Are they happy?"

Valera

"They wear matching outfits and have airships all over the place so yes and yes."

She's gonna need a broom to pet this man with. There there.

Alastor

It's just a high pitched static whine noise. *Matching outfits...*

That's BASICALLY the exact same thing as marriage. You're married when you wear the same outfits.

Valera

What is marriage if not an elaborate excuse to wear matching outfits? Just keep doing it, forever.

Pat. Pat. "And now you know. There's a reality out there where you and your local Pentious are basically married with a kid and have airships over like, half of Hell."

Alastor

He's gonna. Lay there for a second. And process that.

And then sit up and cradle his head in his hands and process that some more.

Valera

Would he like.... Well. Not tea but she can get him some water. Maybe a coffee.

Alastor

Coffee would be nice

Valera

She can do coffee. Does he want any cream or sugar?

Alastor

Black as his soul. Like an edgy hottopic goth kid.

Valera

She'll get him some pourover, let him have a good coffee while his brain wheezes and stalls.

Alastor

He eventually gets himself up in a chair with his coffee. Look at that, he's almost human again. "So there's already a place where it all worked out."

Valera

"That seems to be the case, yes." The power of coffee, clearly. If only sitting upright really fixed your problems.

Alastor

A nod, and then he’s silent again a moment as he processes this. “So there’s—I wouldn’t be helping him. I can’t help him like this.”

Valera

"You cannot. You can't just wave away what you did to him. Not without ruining another Pentious' life."

Alastor

“It’s not just ‘waving away’! Don’t forget that doing this would erase me, too! It’s not *running* from the consequences of my actions, it’s *paying* for them!” He’s gotta hop up and pace. “‘Waving away’ what I did is what I’m doing right NOW—getting to—to move on and be happy like it never happened! How is that fair?!”

Valera

"How is it fair? Good question, let me counter with another." She sips the tea she got for herself, watching him pace. "Have you forgiven yourself?"

Alastor

He pauses for half a second, and then continues pacing. “Now, why would I go and do a damn fool thing like that?” He laughs wryly. “I don’t see how it matters.”

Valera

"Because you're in Hell, and why would Hell ever _really_ let you win?"

Alastor

“*Hell* wouldn’t—and that’s why I’m outsourcing the job. I don’t see what that has to do with forgiveness and fairness.”

Valera

"Didn't you think Hell has some measure of control over you, or am I misremembering?"

A stretch, and a hand lays over her belly. Rub rub. "Now. I am loathe to admit I could still try to break your timeline like a bone and forcefully reset it into a shape similar to the one I saw, but. I could. Though THAT is something I've never tried at all, I've got no idea if it would work."

Alastor “‘It’s not my fault, the devil made me do it’?” Alastor shook his head. “It’s my fault. Hell is pulling some strings, sure—it can, say, nudge things around to prey on your worst character flaws—but it doesn’t give you those character flaws.”

He stops pacing again. “What would that involve?”

Valera

She opens her mouth, closes it. Clicks her tongue. "That's what I'm figuring out. It *can* be done. I've never done it. But I said I would help you, so I have to offer it as a possibility. It would probably take something fairly drastic. There was a window between you making your decision and actually betraying Pentious, right?"

Alastor

A slow nod. “Ten or fifteen minutes.”

Valera

"There are... A few options. I don't know how *viable* they actually are, right now. I'll have to do research. But I *think* I could try to remove you *entirely* from the timeline at that point. Most likely through a faked assassination or kidnapping. That would break the timeline off the track that was set, an outlier that was not within reasonable bounds. Then give the timeline a few hours, maybe days as it tries to course correct and *cannot*, and then I... Drop *you* back in. Let you run back to Sir Pentious, alive, if not unharmed. At the very least, I'm sure he'd be too busy being glad you were alive to be angry that whatever scheme he was currently enacting got thrown off."

Alastor

He stops breathing for a moment as he thinks about Sir Pentious having to deal with Alastor so suddenly disappearing.

And he tries not to too deeply analyze his disappointment when Valera says they’d put him back. He starts pacing again. “And that would be—like we discussed before? This version of the timeline disappears completely?”

Valera

"It would be impossible for the timeline to continue as it was, so. Yes. You cannot betray Pentious if you aren't there. Everything would get thrown off the rails entirely. Timelines account for a reasonable margin of circumstances with everything people do. Most people rarely do things outside of their norm, so even small changes rarely mean anything and that's why they don't branch as much as people think."

She taps her stomach, lips pursing. "Again. Remember, I can't guarantee it would work. But it does seem the most *likely* to work out of all the options. The first obstacle would be me taking down the Radio Demon. I don't know if you're aware, Alastor, but I don't actually relish the thought of fighting you to what you'd believe to be your death."

Alastor

He laughs humorlessly. “You won’t need to fight. I can tell you exactly what to say to make me come willingly.”

Valera

Blink. Wait, what? She looks back up at him, eyebrows raising. "What, really?"

Alastor

“You think I don’t know myself well enough to know exactly what would make me shut up and listen? Don’t you have secret things that would immediately catch your attention if a stranger said them to you?” A shrug. “Anyway, I wasn’t exactly hard to persuade at that point! I’d just decided to escape a relationship by destroying everything he owned and running—if a stranger magically appeared in front of me and said ‘come with me, we need to fake your assassination,’ I’d consider it a miracle.”

Valera

Valera raises a finger. "Alastor, I am a stubborn, paranoid bitch of a politician. My own parents could miraculously spring back into existence and promise me anything I wanted and I would probably try to bite them. I can't be blackmailed because any time someone tries, I get my PR team to leak it themselves to control the narrative. I am TRULY the most contrary piece of work to get dragged into existence."

A pause.. Then she grins. "Lucky for us, you're not me. If you think that would work? *Good*. That's one of many obstacles down. A question, though, and possibly a dumb one. Would you even *want* to go back? If I ripped you from the timeline, that is."

Alastor

“Does what I’d want matter? Either you put me back, you exterminate me, or you drop me somewhere outside of Hell and I end up having to go back eventually. A disembodied soul can’t last forever outside of Hell, and I can’t move into a neighboring Hell without stepping on an alternate’s hooves.”

Valera

She rolls her eyes, sighing noisily. "Yes, it matters. Even if we can't figure out something better, I want to *try* and help you get a happier ending. Because right now, it's sounding like you're about to give up Telly to go run into your Pentious' arms. Which I don't think Telly would like much."

Alastor

“No! That’s not what I want! I keep double checking that this will delete the current timeline for a reason! If some different Alastor *just slightly* removed from me ends up with him, dandy, but it had damn well better not be me! I’m not trying to get back with him, I’m trying to get ERASED!”

Well. That’s sure something he said and can’t unsay.

Valera

She freezes, her eyes locked on Alastor's face. So, the truth comes out, does it? But is this the eye of the storm, or a defeated gasp? This may require some care.

A slow inhale. A shift of her weight as she sits more upright, face neutral. "I *see*."

Alastor

Those weren’t quite the words he expected out of himself, either. But he’s nothing if not impossible to shut up, so he swallows hard and soldiers on. “Didn’t I say, the very first time we discussed this, that when you made that other timeline, I didn’t want you to combine my memories with my past self—I wanted you to let me get deleted with the rest of this timeline? *This isn’t for me.* I don’t want to get him back—I want him to win. How isn’t that clear? If I wasn’t worried about what it would do to Sir Pentious’s psyche if his lover is assassinated on his airship the morning after they hooked up, I’d tell you to put a bullet through my head the moment you see me!”

Valera

She nods, chewing her lip thoughtfully as she watches him dig his hole deeper with every word he rattles out. She'd known this, really. He'd said it. But she didn't realize..

Well. Better late than never, one supposes. "And what about Telly, Alastor? What are you going to do about *him?* What of *his* psyche?"

Alastor

His face almost cracks completely, brows drawing and smile half wilting. He slumps down onto a seat again. “I shouldn’t have gotten him involved.” It’s not really an answer.

Valera

"No, you shouldn't have! But you did, and now you have another problem to solve. Because Alastor? I do NOT want to explain to that poor man that I helped his boyfriend erase himself from existence for the sake of the man he betrayed, and had planned on doing so before you two even met. You may not have to deal with the fallout, but *I will.*"

Alastor

He inhales sharply at the thought of it. “Isn’t there a way to... As long as we’re altering timelines, can’t we just... make it so he never met me? It was under three months ago, all it would take...” He can’t even finish. It feels like knives just to think about.

Valera

"I already find the idea of breaking your timeline dubious at best, and now you want me to alter the reality of my friend? An innocent party in all this? You *know* he wouldn't want that, Alastor. I agreed to help you with one very specific problem, it isn't my fault that you decided to dally with another snake and complicate matters when you knew your time was potentially limited to months. I wont help you fix that."

She struggles to her feet, empty mug in hand. "I am going to get a refill on my tea. Do you want more coffee, Alastor?"

Alastor

He glances at his cup. He still hasn’t quite emptied it. He shakes his head.

Valera

A nod. "I will be clear. I am not angry, I am not saying I wont help you. But I cannot fix all of your problems so easily. Your actions have consequences, and erasing yourself wont leave everyone happy and everything tied up with a bow." Her thumbs rub over the smooth finish of her mug, brow furrowing in thought.

"I am sorry, Alastor. If I could guarantee, one hundred percent, that I could erase you from Telly's life, take you back to your timeline, and wipe you out before you ever hurt your Pentious.. I would. I would obliterate your mind on the spot and let whatever version of you sprang forth, happy and in love, carry on with your day like it never happened. And I'd take that to my grave. But I can't make that promise." Okay she'd better actually leave, standing around holding an empty cup to rant at someone is stupid. Give her a bit.

Alastor

He nods vaguely, but although he absorbs what Valera says, most of his focus is on his own thoughts.

Telly. If he leaves, who’s there for Telly? Who’s the one who will bargain, threaten, or assassinate whoever it takes to get Telly the supplies he needs for his ship? When all his machines are broken, who’s going to be the one to fill the gaps with magic until they’re repaired? Who will tell him that he’s beautiful, brilliant, unstoppable, every day until he believes it himself? Who’s going to *feed* him?

Every single day, Alastor sees more of Telly’s real self—the person Alastor met just shy of three months ago is hardly a ghost compared to the person Telly is now. It doesn’t matter how Alastor leaves. If he just vanishes, then everything he’s tried to give Telly will be lost. If they never met, then Alastor never gave him those things at all.

He’s still brooding on these thoughts when Valera gets back.

Valera

Valera lets him have some silence, settling back down with her tea as she observes Alastor's stewing. Good. He's thinking. Maybe he'll think his way *out* of this idiocy.

Alastor

He’s working on it.

His Sir Pentious, though—the one he *betrayed*—nothing is fixed for him if Alastor *doesn’t* follow through. He’s still stuck where he is. So which is worse? Which weighs heavier? Never paying the price and making amends for the sin he committed before, or committing a fresh sin now? If no matter what he does, he’s got to knowingly and deliberately doom one of them to an afterlife of broken hopes and unfulfilled aspirations, which one of them is worse?

“... I made a deal with him.” Instead of trying to repeat it, he just plays it back, his own voice slightly cracklier than usual as if it’s playing back from a phonograph record: “*I swear I will never knowingly and deliberately or callously break your heart; and I swear that if I do ever leave, I’ll leave with kindness and honesty; and I swear I’ll never betray you like I did the Sir Pentious of my universe; or I forfeit my soul and all those I have to you.*”

He looks at Valera. “As far as you can think of—is there no possible way for me to do this without violating all three of those?”

Valera

Valera pauses, rolling the terms over in her mind. "You could tell him you can't be with him anymore because you realized your goals are incompatible. That would be a _kindness._ You would be leaving with honesty. Your goals _are_ incompatible."

Alastor

Nods, he accepts that. There are ways he could be honest without telling too much of the truth. Debatable on the idea that he’d be leaving with kindness, but he’s willing to let that sit for the moment. “The other two, then. I wouldn’t be knowingly and *deliberately* breaking his heart, since breaking it is just a side effect instead of my goal; but it would be knowingly and *callously.*”

Valera

"Is it callous, to try and spare him from further harm by stepping away? Because that's what you'd be doing, I imagine."

She leans back into the cushions of the couch, tapping her chin. "_Knowingly_ breaking his heart is the real issue. You've essentially _trapped_ yourself in the relationship. You can't leave while he has feelings for you, no matter how kind and honest you are, because you'll break his heart doing it."

Alastor

“I was damn careful with my wording to make sure I wouldn’t be trapped.” He shakes his head. “That’s why it has to be both. Knowingly-*and*-deliberately or knowingly-*and*-callously. If I know it will break his heart, but the heartbreak isn’t deliberate or callous, it’s legal.” He takes a deep breath. “But I’m *not* trying to spare him harm by stepping away. I’m trying to... disappear, to undo a prior betrayal; and, in the process, I’d be knowingly adding to the parade of people who have promised him the world and then ripped it away—and—and I’d be doing untold damage to his ability to follow his ambitions.” He clears his throat, his voice is starting to sound a little hoarse. “He wouldn’t be spared harm. Knowing the extent of the damage, I—there’s—there’d be no way to proceed without callousness. Would there.”

Valera

Valera has an argument already half formed, but stops. Cocks her head to one side. Why the FUCK would she try to convince him around to her side. This was basically a get out of jail free card. Her perspective didn't matter here, it was *his* contract.

"Y-yeah. If that's the way you interpret your contract, you're well and truly stuck."

Alastor

His shoulders slump, the tension draining out of them all at once. "So that's that? It's undoable." If he can't think of a way and Valera can't think of a way...

Valera

She lifts a shaky mug to her lips, squeaking out what MIGHT be the affirmative. "Mm-Mm!"

Alastor

“All right. That’s that.”

He expects to feel... maybe relieved. Maybe resigned. Instead, what hits first is an unexpected wave of grief. He tries to disguise it by rubbing his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, as though he’s just tired. “So—“ Ahem. “So. You and I shook. If we can’t proceed, then what’s... How do we dissolve that?”

Valera

Valera frowns, fins drooping as she wavers. But no. This is for the best. "Well, how do *you* negate a deal that is no longer viable? All you need to do is say you've released me from the contract, on my end."

Alastor

“You’re released from the contract if I’m released from the contract.” He’s not *unilaterally* releasing somebody else from a contract, that’s just common sense.

Valera

Her eyes are ROLLING. Of course, even now he's being difficult. "Well we shook on it. What does your magic need to terminate the agreement? Blood? Another handshake?"

Alastor

"For you to agree to the same out loud." It's not THAT complicated; but a release from a contract has to be mutual. Otherwise anyone could cancel a contract at any time, and then where would the exploitative dealmakers of the world be?

Valera

"Alright. I release you from our contract under the same terms."

... She doesn't know why she always expects something dramatic to happen, it never does. At least she can lean back and sigh, now.

Alastor

If it helps, Alastor plays a little *ta-daaa* trumpet fanfare.

Valera

It helps, but also makes her primary heart clench. She didn't lie, but she wasn't honest. And it digs into her like a splinter.

A sigh. "Are you okay, Alastor? I know you wanted _very_ badly to help the Pentious of your Hell." That came out more gently than she'd intended, but she's too tired to try and force a casual demeanor right now. Deal with her concern.

Alastor

He's silent for a moment, then sighs and sort of shrugs and shakes his head at the same time. "It just puts me back where I was a few months ago. No great loss."

Valera

"Sure, but you got your hopes up, only for them to be dashed by a contract of your own design." She isn't going to comment on that being incredibly dumb. She isn't. But she's thinking it. Even though it worked out for her.

"I suppose that means you'll have to do things the old fashioned way if you want to make amends."

Alastor

"If the contract wasn't there, I would have had to *decide* which one of them I want to hurt. At least this way the choice is out of my hands. And it means the contract did its job, didn't it?"

He rubs his eyes. "Still. Having the end in sight, and then watching it disappear..."

Valera

Most people would be happy to live another day, but a man craving oblivion? Maybe not so much. She frowns.

"At least you've got Telly. That leaves your local Pentious still suffering. And lest we forget, I entered that contract wanting to help _him_. Still do."

Alastor

And there is nothing he wants more than to go home, curl up in Telly's coils, and not come out for a week. He nods. "I know."

Valera

A low sigh. She could WANT to help, but she couldn't really *do* much. "Well. I suppose there's nothing to be done, at least not now."

Alastor

"I suppose not. Maybe another time." It's hard to even think about an alternative plan right now. How can he even consider a plan that doesn't involve completely erasing all of his mistakes in one fell swoop? What's the *point*?

Valera

"Another time? Yes, absolutely. The politician in me already has five concepts to workshop with my imaginary team. But I am tired, and nauseous, and I want to go hide against either Leal or Penny, whichever lucky man I find first."

Alastor

"Cheers to *that.*" He limply picks up his almost-empty coffee mug. "I think I'll be following your lead." Now that for the first time he HAS someone to hide against.

Valera

She waves her tea at him in what could pass as a pale imitation of a toast, slamming back the rest of her drink like a shot. "At least that's one thing we get out of *love*. Somebody willing to let us use them as *emotional support*."

Alastor

That feels like an attack. Why does that feel like an attack? "Or a warm pillow." He finishes his coffee and stands. "Well, that didn't quite go the way I wanted it to. But thank you for the introduction." He nods toward the egg. "And I suppose I'll see you at work tomorrow?" Remember that part? After all this, they've got JOBS they've gotta go to tomorrow? Harrowing.

Valera

She opens her mouth to remind him that she and Penny are both coldblooded, but then remembers that Leal is a furnace on legs, and just nods instead. "It was... Well. Parts of this visit were fun. I'll see you tomorrow, Alastor. And I'll remember to talk to my beau about your role in Eelizzy's life." Thumbs up.

Alastor

Listen, Alastor's spent the past few decades crying himself to sleep on a pillow with a faux snakeskin pillowcase. Who wants to argue with him if he says he feels warmer when he's wrapped around Telly.

His expression brightens a little bit. "I'd appreciate it."

Valera

She wheezes out a breathy laugh as she stands, smoothing her dress over her stomach. "Hey. I know this was rough, and I wish our talks didn't always end so stressfully, but I do think you'll be a fantastic uncle. With allowances for Penny and Leal, there's nobody I'd trust more to make sure my daughter was cared for if something happened to me. And I mean it."

A flick of a wrist, and a familiar portal opens in the wall, the Hotel's lobby visible through a shimmery haze. It could have gone worse, all things considered.

Alastor

"I doubt we'll need to have any other conversations on this. It's not like we have anything else to discuss on the topic." A crooked smile, but a slightly pained one. "Just let me know when the first PTA meeting is!" And out he goes.

Valera

[[ NOT LIKE SHE CAN DUMP HIM ON TELLY'S SHIP BUT SHE *WISHES*

Alastor

((He's gonna be teleporting himself STRAIGHT to Telly's ship anyway))

#((warning for suicidal ideation. ... this thread went some places ok))#autokrates #chat log

7 notes · View notes

pemdasblog · 3 years

Text

PEMDAS - Special Year-End Edition - Albums

I love end of year lists because I like consensus, rankings and numbers. But consensus is all based on who gets to rank, and the people who get the most access to major publication rankings are white men, so the numbers are tainted by white supremacy, misogyny, and many other forms of bigotry.

Which makes it even more interesting to see what gets ranked where.

Here’s a Google Sheet I made of all the lists and I created a formula that basically measures how many times an album placed on a list as well as how high it placed on that list. I’m going to keep updating this list as it’s not done, but it’s fun to play around with right now!

According to my formula and the critics, the top 10 albums of 2020 (in order) are:

#1: Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

#2: RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

#3: folklore •• Taylor Swift

#4: Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

#5: Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

#6: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

#7: Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

#8: Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

#9: Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

#10: Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

I also have a fun, unranked albums list brewing. I’ll release that at the very end of the year.

Click below for all of the publication lists!

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• ABC | Double J

Dan Condon

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Crossover •• Emma Donovan & The Putbacks

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Sharecropper’s Daughter •• Sa-Roc

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Chose Line •• Benny the Walker

South West •• L-FRESH the LION

Far Enough •• Cable Ties

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Nyaaringu •• Miiesha

You Be the Lightning •• Tracy McNeil & The GoodLife

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Suddenly •• Caribou

Our Two Skins •• Gordi

Down In the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Distance •• Jess Cornelius

King’s Disease •• Nas

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Batflowers •• Washington

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

ENERGY •• Disclosure

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Paid Salvation •• A Swayze & The Ghosts

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Unity •• Gordon Koang

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Child in Reverse •• Kate Miller-Heidke

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Aloha •• Son Little

The Modern Medieval •• Something for Kate

II: The Next Wave •• Quakers

Rome •• Josh Pyke

Fallow •• Fanny Lumsden

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

Original Cast Recording •• Braille Face

Colour by Number •• Leah Flanagan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

What You Gonna Do When the Grid Goes Down? •• Public Enemy

Feral •• RVG

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The best albums and songs of 2020 •• BBC Culture

Nick Levine

Best albums of 2020

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

folklore •• Taylor Swift

6 Music Recommends Albums of the Year 2020 •• BBC Radio - 6 Music

BBC Radio - 6 Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

The Universal Want •• Doves

Deep Down Happy •• Sports Team

The 50 Best Albums of 2020: Staff Picks •• Billboard

Billboard Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Circles •• Mac Miller

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Manic •• Halsey

Tickets to My Downfall •• Machine Gun Kelly

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Colores •• J Balvin

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Before Love Came To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Emmanuel •• Anuel AA

Love Goes •• Sam Smith

Suddenly •• Caribou

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

B7 •• Brandy

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Mesa Para Dos •• Kany García

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Kid Krow •• Conan Gray

Hecho en Mexico •• Alejandro Fernández

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Blame It on Baby •• DaBaby

Top 10 Albums of the Year 2020 •• Bleep

KiCk i •• Arca

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Cape Cira •• K-LONE

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Help •• Duval Timothy

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Shadow of Fear •• Cabaret Voltaire

Tara Clerkin Trio •• Tara Clerkin Trio

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Complex

Jessica McKinney, Andre Gee, Eric Skelton, Edwin Ortiz, Khal, Angel Diaz, Will Schube, Shawn Setaro, Lucas Wisenthel

After Hours •• The Weeknd

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Circles •• Mac Miller

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

The GOAT •• Polo G

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Wunna •• Gunna

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Muse In Her Feelings •• dvsn

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Angelic Hoodrat •• Kenny Mason

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Young & Turnt 2 •• 42 Dugg

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

One and Only •• Sheff G

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Limbo •• Aminé

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

Anyways •• Young Nudy

Legends Never Die •• Juice WRLD

Industry Games •• CHIKA

Reasonable Drought •• Stove God Cooks

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

King’s Disease •• Nas

While the World Was Burning •• SAINt JHN

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

Featuring Ty Dolla Sign •• Ty Dolla Sign

Detroit 2 •• Big Sean

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Consequence of Sound

CoS Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Gigaton •• Pearl Jam

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

Forgotten Days •• Pallbearer

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Suddenly •• Caribou

Everything Is Beautiful •• Princess Nokia

As Long as You Are •• Future Islands

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Shamir •• Shamir

Lamb of God •• Lamb of God

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

The Greatest Part •• Becca Mancari

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Liz •• Armani Caesar

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

The Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Crack Magazine

Help •• Duval Timothy

Indigo Dream •• E.M.M.A.

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Duma •• Duma

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Metal Preyers •• Metal Preyers

From Avoca Hills to the World •• Citizen Boy & Mafia Boyz

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

To Feel Embraced •• Sparkle Division

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Snoopy •• CS + Kreme

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Pain Olympics •• Crack Cloud

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Cape Circa •• K-Lone

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Modern Bliss •• Roza Terenzi

Ten Billion Angels •• Zora Jones

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Second Language •• Minor Science

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Deep Technik •• MoMA Ready

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Pillowland •• Jam City

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

The 15 best albums of 2020 •• Entertainment Weekly

Leah Greenblatt, Sarah Rodman & Alex Suskind

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

After Hours •• The Weeknd

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

American Love Story •• Butch Walker

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Exclaim!’s 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Exclaim!

Exclaim! Staff

God Has Nothing to Do with This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Suddenly •• Caribou

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Pantayo •• Pantayo

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

græ •• Moses Sumney

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Legacy •• Aquakultre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Devouring Ruin •• Wake

How Ill Thy World Is Ordered •• Daniel Romano’s Outfit

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

DNA Activation •• Witch Prophet

Peaceful as Hell •• Black Dresses

Where Only Gods May Tread •• Ingested

Circles •• Mac Miller

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Stygian •• Atramentus

ELEMENTS Vol. 1 •• TOBi

Reliever •• William Prince

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

Finds You Well •• Khotin

Underneath •• Code Orange

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

The Best Albums of 2020 •• FLOOD

FLOOD Staff

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Women in Music Pt. III •• Haim

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Shrines •• Armand Hammer

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

Si Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios) ∞ •• Kali Uchis

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

The Gigwise 51 Best Albums of 2020 •• Gigwise

Gigwise Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ohms •• Deftones

Circles •• Mac Miller

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Sex, Death & The Infinite Void •• Creeper

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Archer •• Alexandra Savior

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Night Network •• The Cribs

I Disagree •• Poppy

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Modern Dread •• Denai Moore

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

We Live Here •• Bob Vylan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

925 •• Sorry

Got To Be Tough •• Toots & The Maytals

græ •• Moses Sumney

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Three Mile Ditch •• The Wytches

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

In This House •• Lewsberg

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Monument •• Keaton Henson

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Hyper Romance •• Jadu Heart

Container •• The Wants

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

In Waiting •• Pillow Queens

The Reson for Hardcore Vibes •• Joe & The Shitboys

Gorilla vs. Bear’s Albums of 2020 •• Gorilla vs. Bear

Chris

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT || Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Weaving a Basket •• Sea Oleena

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Fires in Heaven •• Salem

Galore •• Oklou

What’s Tonight to Eternity •• Cindy Lee || Cat O’Nine Tails •• Cindy Lee

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Taken Away •• Moodymann

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Alletiders •• Alle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Because of a Flower •• Ana Roxanne

How Much Works •• Sweet Whirl

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

The Don of Diamond Dreams •• Shabazz Palaces

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Hunger for a Way Out •• Sweeping Promises

Your Hero Is Not Dead •• Westerman

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Remote Control •• Discovery Zone

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Help •• Duval Timothy

Yes •• Shinichi Atobe

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

I Was Born Swimming •• Squirrel Flower

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Mia Gargaret •• Gia Margaret

I Feel Alive •• Tops

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Crooner qui coule sous les clous •• Oï Les Ox

Bobby Joe Hope •• Jon McKiel

Motherhood •• No Joy

Land of No Junction •• Aoife Nessa Frances

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Cave Vaults on the Moon •• Tan Cologne

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

A Mythology of Circles •• Faten Kanaan

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Good Songs for Bad People •• Drab City

Roped In •• North Americans

Sorceress •• Jess Williamson

Phoenix: Flames are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Fantasy Chapel •• Riches

Ride Lonesome •• Young Ejecta

Shimmering Basset •• The Green Child

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• The Guardian

Ben Beaumont-Thomas & Laura Snapes

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

folklore •• Taylor Swift

græ •• Moses Sumney

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Suddenly •• Caribou

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Circles •• Mac Miller

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Karma & Desire •• Actress

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Three •• The Necks

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

The Best Albums of 2020 Ranked •• The Line of Best Fit

The Line of Best Fit Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

The Baby •• Samia

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

The Worst Generation •• Che Lingo

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

We’re New Again: A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Beginners •• Christian Lee Hutson

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Show Pony •• Orville Peck

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

The Amanda Tape •• THEY.

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Whatever, Man •• BLACKSTARKIDS

folklore •• Taylor Swift

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

Without People •• Donovan Woods

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Warnings •• I Break Horses

So When You Gonna... •• Dream Wife

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Now or Never •• Giggs

SISTER •• Mina Tindle

Circles •• Mac Miller

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

EDNA •• Headie One

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Best Albums of 2020 •• The New York Times

Jon Pareles, Jon Caramanica, and Lindsay Zoladz

Simmering Emotions, Louder Explosions Jon Pareles

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

SIGN •• Autechre

The Art of Taking One’s Time Jon Caramanica

Southside •• Sam Hunt

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Poems of the Past •• Powfu

Changes •• Justin Bieber

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

and 27 more for a chaotic year...

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Trap Tumbado •• Natanael Cano

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

City on Lock •• City Girls

Underneath •• Code Orange

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Positions •• Ariana Grande

A Rock •• Hardy

Violence in a Quiet Mind •• Haux

AUNTIE •• Ian Isiah

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

Levon James •• King Von

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

God Made a Woman •• Lauren Mascitti

LP5 •• John Moreland

Before Love Came to Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Rosetta •• Dua Saleh

Jesus Is Born •• Sunday Service Choir

Easy Money Baby •• Myke Towers

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

The Dream •• Hailey Whitters

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Rebel Yells, of Passion and Fury Lindsay Zoladz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

The Best Music of 2020 •• The New Yorker

Amanda Petrusich

No. 1 •• Etran de l’Aïr

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & the Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Honorable Mentions:

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Un Canto por México Vol. 1 •• Natalia Lafourcade

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Sheldon Pearce

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Mutable Set •• Blake Mills

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

APOLLO •• Fireboy DML

Couldn’t Wait to Tell You... •• Liv.e

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

The 100 Best Albums of 2020 •• Noisey (Vice)

Noisey Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT || UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

EDNA •• Headie One

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Bartees Strange •• Live Forever

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

Shame •• Uniform

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Full Wack No Brakes •• Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Cruisin’ with Junior H •• Junior H

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Inlet •• Hum

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Eternal Atake (Deluxe) •• Lil Uzi Vert

Lament •• Touché Amoré

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Rich Slave •• Young Dolph

Fires in Heaven •• SALEM

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

City On Lock •• City Girls

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to O’Block •• King Von

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Àdá Irin •• Navy Blue

Featuring Ty Dolla $ign •• Ty Dolla $ign

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Grime MC •• Jme

Viva el Perreo •• Jowell & Randy

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

The Goat •• Polo G

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Common Prayers •• Walter Martin

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Eternity of Shaog •• Esoctrilihum

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Corridos Tumbados •• Natanael Cano

The Prince of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

A Muse in Her Feelings •• dvsn

KiCk i •• Arca

Circles •• Mac Miller

Rise Above Hate •• Unknown T

I Love You 2 •• Hook

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

From a King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

12th House Rock •• Narrow Head

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself •• Okay Kaya

Growth & Development •• 22Gz

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Weight of the World •• MIKE

Auto-Pain •• Deeper

Bino Rideaux •• Outside

Tearless •• Amnesia Scanner

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

U-Void Synthesizer •• Machine Girl

Take Time •• Giveon

Pure X •• Pure X

Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2 •• Tkay Maidza

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Starmaker •• Honey Harper

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Have You Lost Your Mind Yet? •• Fantastic Negrito

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

7G •• A. G. Cook

Vibras de Noche •• Eslabon Armado

Immersion •• Primitive Man

Supergood •• Duckwrth

The Weather Up There •• Jeremy Cunningham

Underneath •• Code Orange

El Androide •• El Alfa

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

SIGN •• Autechre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Occupational Hazard •• Mozzy

The Freelancer’s Blues •• Dougie Poole

4 Da 304′s •• KentheMan

Best Music of 2020 •• NPR

NPR Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Adès Conducts Adès •• Thomas Adès

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Expectations •• Katie Pruitt

Data Lords •• Maria Schneider Orchestra

Underneath •• Code Orange

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Regresa •• Buscabulla

Dawson: Negro Folk Symphony •• ORF Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Small Death •• Samantha Crain

Pauline •• Ashley Ray

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Siti of Unguja (Romance Revolution on Zanzibar) •• Siti Muharam

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

My Turn •• Lil Baby

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Spider Tales •• Jake Blount

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Debussy • Rameau •• Víkingur Ólafsson

Muthaland •• Bbymutha

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

En Español •• The Mavericks

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

The experience of repetition as death •• Clarice Jensen

Inside •• X Alfonso

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage / Metro Boomin

some kind of peace •• Ólafur Arnalds

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Don’t Feed the Monster •• Homeboy Sandman

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Paste

Paste Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

græ •• Moses Sumney

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to Conceptual Beach •• Young Jesus

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Healing Is A Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Youth Pastoral •• Ben Seretan

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Inlet •• Hum

KIND •• Thanya Iyer

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Ultimate Success Today •• Protomartyr

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shadow Talk •• Cafe Racer

Source •• Nubya Garcia

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

The Baby •• Samia

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Celebrated By Strangers •• Catholic Action

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

Somewhere •• Gum Country

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pitchfork

Pitchfork Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

græ •• Moses Sumney

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Melee •• Dogleg

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Hannah •• Lomelda

Help •• Duval Timohy

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

KiCk i •• Arca

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Room for the Moon •• Kate NV

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

how i’m feeilng now •• Charli XCX

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 60 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pop Matters

Pop Matters Staff

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Outland •• Ital Tek

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

3.15.20 •• Childish Gambino

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Suddenly •• Caribou

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

Before Love Come To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The Cycle •• Mourning [A] BLKstar

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

The Universal Want •• Doves

We’ve Landed •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Eno Axis •• HC McEntire

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Ultrasonic •• Field Works

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

VOICES •• Max Richter

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Neon Cross •• Jaime Wyatt

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Amazones Power •• Les Amazones d’Afrique

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Piano Equation •• Matthew Shipp

Making a Door Less Open •• Car Seat Headrest

Silver Tongue •• TORRES

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Wooden Cave •• Thin Lear

Quietus Albums Of The Year 2020 •• The Quietus

The Quietus Staff

Dances/Curses •• Hey Colossus

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Energy Is Forever •• UKAEA

Help •• Duval Timothy

Be Up A Hello •• Squarepusher

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Guerilla •• Nazar

Only Darkness Now •• Alison Cotton

Alles in Allem •• Einstürzende Neubauten

SIGN •• Autechre

First Seance •• Land Trance

Duma •• Duma

These Charms May Be Sung Over a Wound •• Richard Skelton

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Type II •• Sex Swing

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Common Task •• Horse Lords

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

7 Weapons Series •• Howie Lee

Zoom •• Upsammy

Free Humans •• Hen Ogledd

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker & The New Breed

Cumbia Siglo XXI •• Meridian Brothers

Serpent •• MXLX

Because Of A Flower •• Ana Roxanne

Forever Underground •• Phantom Posse

There Is No Year •• Algiers

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Mestarin Kynsi •• Oranssi Pazuzu

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Edna •• Headie One

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Glory Days •• Heather Leigh

Blues •• Lamin Fofana

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

To Kiss Earth Goodbye •• Teleplasmiste

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Barbarians •• Young Knives

Fast Edit •• Still House Plants

Jp4 •• Junglepussy

Loom •• Katie Gately

Flower Violence •• Blóm

A Late Anthology Of Early Music Vol. 1: Ancient To Renaissance •• Jennifer Walshe

Cantus, Descant •• Sarah Davachi

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Endless Wound •• Black Curse

if i don't let myself be happy now then when? •• More Eaze & Claire Rousay

Seven Storey Mountain VI •• Nate Wooley

L’Inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Rock Sutra •• Sun Araw

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Heaven To A Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions Of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Returner •• Closed Circuits

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Lamunan •• Antonina Nowacka

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof

Não Fales Nela Que A Mentes •• Nídia

SKEEN •• Mariam Rezaei

Winterreise •• Jerskin Fendrix

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

how i'm feeling now •• Charli XCX

Superstar •• Harry Pussy

The End Of Their World Is Coming •• Dead Meat

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

KiCK i •• Arca

World Serpent •• Memnon Sa

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Cwm Gwagle •• Datblygu

Beyond The Floor •• Geld

Trinity •• Laylow

The Big Exercise •• The Homesick

Malibu Liquor Store •• Shit And Shine

Couldn't Wait To Tell You... •• Liv.e

No Era Sólida •• Lucrecia Dalt

Abscess Time •• Pyrrhon

Thug Ambient •• Dale Cornish

Pillowland •• Jam City

Crabs In A Bucket •• Nines

Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss •• Regis

Prole Art Threat •• East Man

Evil Spirits Who Prowl About The World Seeking The Ruin Of Souls •• Haq123

Toutes Ces Horreurs •• Satan

Figures •• Aksak Maboul

Mind Hive •• Wire

2020 •• Magik Markers

Training Day 3 •• Potter Payper

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

Nah Nah Nah Yeh Yeh Yeh •• Luminous Bodies

Aux Pieds De La Nuit •• Nyx Nótt

6 •• Pharaoh Overlord

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Rolling Stone

Jonathan Bernstein, Emily Blake, Jon Blistein, Jon Dolan, Patrick Doyle, Brenna Ehrlich, Jon Freeman, Kory Grow, Christian Hoard, Joseph Hudak, Elias Leight, Angie Martoccio, Claire Shaffer, Rob Sheffield, Hank Shteamer, Simon Vozick-Levinson

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

City on Lock •• City Girls

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Plastic Hearts •• Miley Cyrus

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Manic •• Halsey

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Shamir •• Shamir

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

After Hours •• The Weeknd

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Got to Be Tough •• Toots and the Maytals

Traditional Techniques •• Stephen Malkmus

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

McCartney III •• Paul McCartney

Haunted Painting •• Sad13

Alphabetland •• X

Aftermath •• Elizabeth Cook

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Growth •• Kareem Ali

Love Is The King •• Jeff Tweedy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Albums of the Year 2020 •• Rough Trade

Rough Trade Staff

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Song For Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

Beyond the Pale •• Jarv Is

So When You Gonna •• Dream Wife

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Bedroom •• bdrmm

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

England Is A Garden •• Cornershop

Galore •• Oklou

Protean Threat •• Osees

Ultra Mono •• Idles

Suddenly •• Caribou

What Kinda Music •• Tom Misch + Yussef Dayes

By The Fire •• Thurston Moore

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Wu Hen •• Kamaal Williams

Wake Up! •• Hazel English

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Jump Rope Gazers •• Beths

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

There Is No Other •• Isobel Campbell

Head Above Water •• Brigid Mae Power

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Old Flowers •• Courtney Marie Andrews

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Loco •• A Certain Ratio

Ummon •• Slift

Coriky •• Coriky

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

That’s How Rumours Get Started •• Margo Price

Introduction, Presence •• Nation Of Language

some kind of peace •• Olafur Arnalds

Walking Like We Do •• Big Moon

Bug On Yonkers •• Damaged Bug

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Home •• Romare

Infinity of Now •• Heliocentrics

3D Routine •• Mush

All or Nothing •• Shopping

Fading •• Pole

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Heritage of the Invisible II •• Aqulies Navarro + Tcheser Holmes

Blue Hearts •• Bob Mould

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD •• Nick Hakim

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Myopia •• Agnes Obel

Anywhere But Here •• Habibi

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Invisible People •• Chicano Batman

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

Cenizás •• Nicolas Jaar

Straight Songs of Sorrow •• Mark Lanegan

Friday Forever •• Everything Is Recorded

Pleasure Line •• Video Age

Happy Birthday •• Sneaks

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Voices •• Max Richter

Even in Exile •• James Dean Bradfield

The True Story Of •• Bananagun

Making a New World •• Field Music

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Midnight Manor •• The Nude Party

The Juice That’s Worth the Squeeze •• Cherry Pickles

The Long Goodbye •• Riz Ahmed

Colourfield •• Dan Michaelson

Stray •• Bambara

Collector •• Disq

Gentle Grip •• Public Practice

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Tender Epoch •• Rudy De Anda

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

Alphabetland •• X

The Land that Time Forgot •• Chuck Prophet

Up in the Air •• Bent

Mind Hive •• Wire

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry x Kenny Beats

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

High Risk Behaviour •• Chats

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Articulation •• Rival Consoles

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Marigold •• Pinegrove

It’s Only Us •• Monophonics

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Superstar •• Caroline Rose

Truth or Consequences •• Yumi Zouma

Mother Stone •• Caleb Landry Jones

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Slate

Carl Wilson

ALBUMS

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Diet Cig, Bully, The Beths, beabadoobee, Beach Bunny, Mitski, Torres, Down Time, and Emily Brown

Beginners •• Christian Lee Huston

Down in the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

Artlessly Falling •• Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Zurich Concert •• Jaimie Branch & The Dave Gisler Trio

Beverly Glenn-Copeland

Here It Comes Again [EP] •• Cate Le Bon & Group Listening

L’inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Solar Wind •• Joëlle Leandre, Robert Dick, and Miya Masaoka

Memory Game •• Meredith Monk & The Bang On a Can All-Stars

Fra Det Onde •• Fra Det Onde & Emil Nikolaisen

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Positions •• Ariana Grande

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Songs for Pierre Chuvin •• The Mountain Goats

Getting Into Knives •• The Mountain Goats

Day of the Tiles [EP] •• Human Hearts

Island •• Owen Pallett

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Home Time •• Darren Hayman

Alphabetland •• X

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT || Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

We Are Sent Here by History •• Shabaka and the Ancestors

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Universal Beings E & F Sides •• Makaya McCraven

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

To Know Without Knowing •• Mulatu Astatke & Black Jesus Experience

Dutch from the 5th •• Dutchavelli

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Stormzy & Skepta

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

J Hus, Headie One, Tion Wayne, D Double E, Blanco, Young T & Bugsey, Kojey Radical, AJ Tracey, and Ghetts

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

America the Beautiful •• Kahil El’Zabar

Omega •• Immanuel Wilkins

Good Days •• Chicago Underground Quartet

8: Kindred Spirits •• Charles Lloyd

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

The Way It Feels •• Maddie & Tae

But I’d Rather Be With You •• Molly Tuttle

Bridges [EP] •• Mickey Guyton

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

High Off Life •• Future

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke || Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Descendants of Cain •• KA

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Fretted & Indebted •• Alasdair Roberts || The Songs of My Boyhood •• Alasdair Roberts

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rejoice •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Love-Lore •• Deerhoof

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof || To Be Surrounded by Beautiful, Curious, Breathing, Laughing Flesh Is Enough •• Deerhoof & Wadada Leo Smith || Surprise Symphonies •• Deerhoof

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Stereogum

Stereogum Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Manger on McNichols •• Boldy James & Sterling Toles

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Lament •• Touché Amoré

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inlet •• Hum

Hannah •• Lomelda

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

925 •• Sorry

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

World House •• Mil-Spec

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Viewing •• Stay Inside

Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress •• Gulch

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

KiCk i •• Arca

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

SIGN •• Autechre

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

græ •• Moses Sumney

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

FREE I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Take a Chance on Rock ‘n’ Roll •• Couch Slut

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

As We Suffer from Memory and Imagination •• Nuvolascura

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Best Albums of 2020 •• TIME

Raisa Bruner & Andrew R. Chow

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Agüita •• Gabriel Garzón-Montano

We’re New Again - A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Miss Anthropecene •• Grimes

Celia •• Tiwa Savage

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Uproxx

Uproxx Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Circles •• Mac Miller

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial •• Roddy Ricch

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Cuttin’ Grass - Vol. 1 (Butcher Shoppe Sessions) •• Sturgill Simpson

Fine Line •• Harry Styles

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Black Habits •• D Smoke

What We Drew 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Limbo •• Aminé

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

The GOAT •• Polo G

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Talk About It •• Blimes and Gab

Everything •• Kota the Friend

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Wunna •• Gunna

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Imploding the Mirage •• The Killers

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Better •• Deanté Hitchcock

Queen of Da Souf •• Mulatto

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Heaven or Hell •• Don Toliver

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Behind-the-Paywall Lists:

LA Times

The Economist

12 notes · View notes

silentlsworld · 3 years

Text

The Quarantine in the Year Pt. 2

Hello everyone! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read pt. 1 of The Quarantine in the Year! I appreciate your likes, reblogs and comments dearly :) I’m awaiting an invite to set up my AO3 profile to post more frequently there but until then, I thought I’d share a pt. 2

Disclaimer: Once again, I don’t own any of the original Bones characters, that’s all HH. The only thing that is mine is my imagination.

A/N: I’m trying to bounce between all our beloved character’s lives and capture them as accurately and in character as I can. I really hope you like pt. 2 and feel free to leave advice, ideas in the comments <3

-------------------

Cam sighed as she walked into the living room. She could hear her sons’ laughter as well as her husbands. The thought of her family eased her worked up nerves. She loved the little family she had created. Though Michelle was now in training at Quantico which meant a busy schedule, she still came home time to time. Well, before the world went up in flames, she would frequently come home and bond with her brothers, play with, help them with school and get to know them.

The boys had even settled in amazingly. Granted, it took some time for all three of them to get used to the home and it had shocked them that would all be able to stay together so that made the first few mornings emotional when they saw each other at breakfast. All in all, they had become quite the little family and the boys had such a great impact on her and Arastoo’s lives.

“Isaiah! Yeah! Do it!” Tyler encouraged.

“Wait boys! I-I-don’t think-” Arastoo’s voice was drowned out as a ‘pop-pop’ was heard.

Running to see if anyone was hurt, Cam stopped short staring at the mini volcano that was sitting on her very expensive chenille rug and had just recently erupted.

“What-What is going on?”

Model airplanes and Hum Vs sat scattered around the floor along with mini soldiers lined up ready for battle. Isaiah sat with his arms covered in a mixture of red and orange food dye and Tyler had it in his hair. Cameron sat to the other side finishing up another Hum V model with a goofy grin on his face twinning the one on his father’s. Arastoo beamed at his boys. The fact that he had not one but three sons to play with and experiment with gave him so much joy.

“THAT WAS AWESOME!” he laughed out.

“Oh really, guess we know who’s going to clean my rug.” Cam muttered before shaking her head. She turned and walked away into the kitchen to grab a wine, a beer, a double scotch, anything to keep her mind off her rug that would more than likely stain and the fact that all four of her boys had the same maturity level.

“Hey Dad, is Mom angry?” Tyler asked a little worried he’d upset his mom.

“She’s probably only a little upset. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Quarantine really has had her on edge huh Dad.” Cameron contributed.

“Yeah, you got that right son. I’ll be back. In the meantime, how about we try to focus on building the boats instead of testing if the volcano works?” Arastoo stood up and walked into the kitchen and found Cam leaning over the counter, head bowed and body tense.

“Hey, Cam. Babe talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Sniffling Cam looked up, “Felicia. She-she-”

“Hey, it’s okay. Calm down. I’m right here.” Arastoo reassured her and rubbed his hands up and down her back the way she loved. She had once told him that if she was ever upset beyond words, that helped her to calm down. Cam looked up and smiled at her husband before taking a deep breath continuing.

“Geor-George called me. He said that Felicia was at work. You know how instead of having everyone work at home, her office decided to take shifts. Well, it was her week and apparently someone in the office failed to tell them that-that-”

“Oh no. Cam…”

“She’s tested positive Arastoo. George said that he had to rush her to the hospital. It-it-it’s not looking good right now. The doctors are doing what they can, but they told George that the next twenty-four hours could be life or death for her.” Cam broke at that point and turned to bury her face in Arastoo’s chest. Not knowing what else to do, Arastoo held his wife with everything in him.

“Shhh. Cam breathe my love. It’ll be okay. She has to be. In Allah’s name she will be.”

“You-you-you can’t know for sure Arastoo and we-we were just starting to have a really great-really great relationship.” Cam hiccupped.

“Yes, I can Cam. Trust me. Felicia is a fighter. She’ll be okay.”

“Mom? Are you okay?” Isaiah poked his head into the kitchen followed by Tyler and Cameron.

“We’re sorry that we erupted the volcano over the rug. We’ll clean it up.” Tyler offered.

“Oh boys. It’s not you I’m upset at. Come over here.”

The boys walked over to their Mom and engulfed her in one big hug. Cam closed her eyes holding her boys to her. She never thought she would ever become a mother and then Michelle came into her and she was beyond grateful and once again thought that would be it. But then, she married Arastoo and worried he would be upset at her not wanting to get pregnant but then he mentioned adoption and she was on board especially when Brennan had connected them with a foster care facility in Mississippi which connected them to their three boys. She held them to her like her life depending on it and right now, the strength and reassurance of family was what she needed most.

------------------

Back at the Booth-Brennan household…

Booth could hear his son’s giggles and what sounded like Christine muttering to herself. He opened and his eyes went wide, and he had to try his best to not laugh at the sight in front of him. Hank had apparently gotten hold of the baby powder he had bought yesterday and stored in the bathroom cabinet. Even though he and Christine were already eight and eleven years old respectively, Brenna still purchased baby powder for them regularly to use after showers and baths. It helped them stay fresh and prevented chaffing which was always a plus. Hank had other ideas of its use though. The two entire jumbo containers had exploded over Christine’s room. Her floor was drenched in powder and Hank was currently in it making a snow angel. Christine had powder stacked on top of her head that looked like it had been dolloped there like whip cream on a cupcake. He chuckled involuntarily.

“Dad! Look! I made Christmas!” Hank shouted from his spot on the floor. He was drenched in it and looked like Casper the friendly ghost.

“DAD!” Christine whined.

“Okay-okay-okay!” Booth chuckled again. Bones would have lost it and blown her top he thought.

“It’s not funny Dad! This is like the third time this week Hank’s come in here and wreaked havoc.” Christine stared at her father indignantly. A stare she had inherited from her mother and it didn’t help that she had the same blue eyes. Just before lockdown, Angela had come over with Katherine and Brennan and Christine and they had a girl’s day lounging around the house.

There had been a lull in cases for the FBI-Jeffersonian duo and so the women decided to take the day off together. It was then Angela had offered to cut Christine’s hair giving the little girl bangs. She looked so much like her Mom did when she first returned from Maluku and was the splitting image of Temperance Brennan right now as she stood with her hands on her hips, lips pouting, and eyes narrowed.

“Okay. Hank, why did you want to make Christmas?” Booth tried to reason with his son.

“Because I’m bored and Christmas time means fun in the snow and then Auntie Angela and Uncle Hodgy comes over and we get together with the whole family and go see the lights and then-and then we won’t be stuck in the house by ourselves.”

Booth sighed. He had figured Hank’s restlessness was because of being in quarantine but they couldn’t help it. When the news had broke that the virus had spread across the country, he and Aubrey as SSAs had made the executive decision to leave the division under Aubrey’s control so Booth could be home with his family. He had offered to consult with Aubrey virtually if needed along with Brennan. Brennan had immediately decided that she would stay with her children at home. Jessica and the other interns would keep the lab running on their quarantine schedule. Brennan would consult with them virtually as needed and would grade their papers, supervise their dissertations and identifications from home.

Though taking classes virtually, Christine and Hank visibly missed routine. Hank especially missed going to school and running around interacting with his friends. With nowhere to really release his energy, Christine had been on the receiving end for the past four months.

A/N: And scene... sorry to leave it on a lil cliffhanger but I promise more will be coming and what FF writer would I be if I didn’t leave cliffhangers <3

#Bones #Bones TV #bonesonfox #booth and brennan #booth and bones #bones in quarantine #Camille Saroyan #arastoo vaziri #coronavirus #bones tv one shots #booth family #fanfic #bones fanfiction

7 notes · View notes

tedesddyha · 4 years

Text

-`, Au Nammin ˎˊ˗

where Jimin becomes a ghost with his hello kitty pajama in a strange messy otaku apartment. Looking around he finds (hentai porn) a new flatmate but, when he wakes up the first thing sees and listen is poor Minnie crying and sobbing.

“ hyung! I don't know where's my kitty. Could you pwease find her? ” 🥺

but Nam can only think protecting the lil angel in front of his eyes. 🥰

ㅤ

ㅤ♡﹗

actually, I don't have any idea of English but HERE WE GOING.

- Trying to be “short”

- reblog / mg if you like it

Thank you so much ♡

ㅤ♡﹗

ㅤ

------------------

Jimin shouldn't feel, literally, but he felt the pain in his back when he got up from the ground. Actually, how could he even walk on it? His body seemed transparent, and he could see the dishes left for days on the living room table... At least he had his Hello Kitty pajamas on, adorable even dead. Not that he had known that since he woke up (if that was the correct term), having to assume he could walk through the doors without opening them. At first he thought he was like Harry Potter and, excited, started to run to get into EVERY room. At the end, even dead he was lazy and accepted his fate quite easily. Although he wasn't feeling like a ghost should, he believed.

Having no idea of anything, he decided the best way of not thinking about it was to explore the apartment. Totally unknown, it was neither his or any of his drunk friends. At least, they were unable to show on all the minimum shelves an anime figure. It was no surprise to find a collection of manga, next to many magazines of anime girls without clothing and sex toys. He laughed, fascinated with the idea that someone could be so basic and rich at the same time, making money and being extremely otaku. The fun ended when the lump of bed began to move. He thought he was alone, covering his mouth with the hands, surprised (actually, it was for triying not to laugh any more for how pathetic he was being).

He decided to flee back to the living room, sitting on the couch to be more comfortable while rethought what should do. Feeling totally devastated, with no one to come to and no memories. Alone, snuggled up on himself. What he needed was... it was a pet. Looked everywhere, thinking he heard a meow. "Crystal? My baby, where are you? ", he didn't need anymore, his whole body been paralyzed, devasted. Crystal? It was the abandoned kitten who decided to adopt not many much ago, too helpless to protect herself. How could he has been so cruel abandon(ning) her, alone with no one to pamper her, to her own fate? Tears kept coming out, too sad for not to think in a loop about how much he missed her. Too sad to notice the steps approaching and the door opening. A big figure appearing on the threshold, looking at him with horror and confusion. “ Who... who are you?”, murmured the burly man, missed by the tears of the ethereal body occupying his comfortable seat. He hated someone sitting on his favorite seat and, like reading his mind, Jiminnie got up and stepped closer. Spoke, wiping his tears as he hiccupied and tried not to kick like a little boy. “ hyung, I don't know where's my kitty -said with sharply voice-, could you pwease found her?” Instead, Namjoon could only observe a tiny light babbling, with large, watery eyes and a fleshy pout. Everything was too quick to rethink if he was a thief coming to murder him, fresh awake, nodding. If a little angel told him he had to find a kitten didn't even know if exists, he would. All because of that pretty blushed face.

He knew he'd regret it in the exactly moment the adverse stopped crying to start jumping with his wide eyes full of stars. The ghost ran back to sit down, staring at him. Namjoon didn't know what to do: five minutes ago he was dreaming about piloting one of the Star Wars ships with Commander Sebastian Michaelis and the enemies attacking them with rasengans.

Sighed. Wanting to go back to bed, rest in peace... what if it was all a dream?

Instead, it seemed that the intruder had another plan: patting beside in the sofa, he felt compelled to sit next to him. The stranger kept looking at him with that illusion, and it was impossible for his cheeks to turn into stoves. He didn't need to say anything; when the ghost made his introduction with a broad smile:

"I'm Park Jimin, I'm 24 years old. I think. Uhmn, nice to meet you? Listen, I don't really remember anything... Ah! I like to eat, but much more I like order. Hyung, do you like living as pigs do? You can dress well, but you will continue to detach the odor. Starting today, I will be your personal assistant who will help you make your stay a more... livable. For the rest of my eternal life.”

#Nammin #Minimon #Aesthetic #Nammin au #Bts namjoon #Bts jimin #Bts #Yoonmin #Vkook #Taegi #Namjin #Jikook #Bts aesthetic #Au #Namjoon #Jimin #moodboard

19 notes · View notes

bboyplankton · 3 years

Text

Hip-Hop/Rap Albums 2020

1. Mac Miller – Circles (Deluxe)

2. Royce Da 5’9” – The Allegory

3. Asher Roth – Flowers On the Weekend

4. Pop Smoke – Meet The Woo 2 (Deluxe)

5. Run The Jewels – RTJ4

6. Larry June – Adjust to the Game

7. Jadakiss – Ignatius

8. Jay Electronica – A Written Testimony

9. RJD2 – The Fun Ones

10. Westside Gunn – Pray for Paris

11. Joell Ortiz & KXNG Crooked – H.A.R.D.

12. Denzel Curry – Unlocked

13. Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist – Alfredo

14. Nick Grant & Tae Beast – God Bless the Child – EP

15. Duckwrth – SuperGood

16. Black Thought – Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane and Abel

17. Lecrae – Restoration

18. Joyner Lucas – ADHD

19. T.I. – The L.I.B.R.A.

20. Nas – King’s Disease

21. Wale – The Imperfect Storm – EP

22. Sa-Roc – The Sharecropper’s Daughter

23. Larry June – Cruise Usa

24. Deanté Hitchcock – Better (Deluxe)

25. Russ – Shake The Snow Globe (Deluxe)

26. TOBi – Elements, Vol. 1

27. The Lox – Living Off Xperience

28. Kid Cudi – Man On The Moon III: The Chosen

29. Duke Deuce – Memphis Massacre 2

30. Benny the Butcher – Burden of Proof

31. Redman – 3 Joints

32. Eminem – Music To Be Murdered By (Deluxe)

33. Styles P – Styles David: Ghost Your Enthusiasm

34. Statik Selektah – The Balancing Act

35. Larry June – Numbers

36. Jack Harlow – Sweet Action

37. Armani Caesar – The Liz

38. Spillage Village, JID, & EarthGang – Spilligion

39. Juicy J – The Hustle Continues

40. Pop Smoke – Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon (Deluxe)

41. Lupe Fiasco & Kaelin Ellis – House – EP

42. Tobe Nwigwe – Cincoriginals

43. Reason – New Beginnings

44. Big Sean – Detroit 2

45. D Smoke – Black Habits

46. Megan Thee Stallion – Suga

47. Wiz Khalifa – The Sage of Wiz Khalifa

48. Nappy Roots – 40rty

49. Larry June & Harry Fraud – Keep Going

50. KXNG Crooked – Flag

51. Cookin Soul & Larry June – Orange Season (Deluxe)

52. Busta Rhymes – Extinction Level Event 2: The Wrath of God (Deluxe)

53. Conway the Machine – From a King to a GOD (Deluxe)

54. Russ – Chomp – EP

55. 21 Savage & Metro Boomin – Savage Mode II

56. Problem – Coffee & Kush, Vol. 1

57. Animé – Limbo (Deluxe)

58. Dizzy Wright – My Hustle Unmatched

59. Westside Gunn – Who Made the Sunshine

60. Jaden – CTV3: Cool Tape Volume 3

61. Jack Harlow – That’s What They All Say

62. Max B – Charly – EP

63. Skepta, Chip, & Young Adz – Insomnia

64. Problem – Coffee & Kush, Vol. 2

65. Future – High Off Life

66. Logic – No Pressure

67. Action Bronson – Only for Dolphins

68. Boldy James & Real Bad Man – Real Bad Boldy

69. Joey Bada$$ – The Light Pack – Single

70. Terrace Martin – Village Days

71. Tobe Nwigwe – The Pandemic Project

72. Dave East – Karma 3 (Deluxe)

73. Berner & Larry June – Cooks & Orange Juice

74. Moneybagg Yo & Blac Youngsta – Code Red

75. Meyhem Lauren & Harry Fraud – Glass 2.0

76. Gucci Mane – Gucci Mane Presents: So Icy Summer

77. B.o.B – Somnia

78. Westside Gunn – Flygod Is an Awesome God 2

79. Kyle – See You When I am Famous

80. Hit Boy, Dom Kennedy, & courtesy of half-a-mill – Also Known As

81. Cassie Veggies & Rockie Fresh – Fresh Veggies 2

82. Boldy James & The Alchemist – The Price of Tea in China (Deluxe)

83. Tory Lanez – New Toronto 3

84. Common – A Beautiful Revolution (Pt. 1)

85. Public Enemy – What You Gonna Do When The Grid Goes Down?

86. Papoose – Endangered Species

87. The Alchemist – A Doctor, Painter & An Alchemist Walk Into A Bar

88. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie – Artist 2.0 (Deluxe)

89. YG – My Life 4Hunnid

90. Lil Baby – My Turn (Deluxe)

91. Rare Sound & K Camp – Rare Family

92. Tsu Surf – MSYKM

93. The Alchemist – The Food Villain

94. Goodie Mob – Survival Kit

95. SAINt JHN – While The World Was Burning

96. Scribz Riley – Wish Me Luck

97. A$AP Ferg – Floor Seats II

98. Mozzy – Beyond Bulletproof

99. Akon – Ain’t No Peace

100. Joyner Lucas – Evolution

101. Stalley – Cake – EP

102. Mickey Factz – Warped Collages

103. Jeezy – Twenty/20 Pyrex Vision

104. Young M.A. – Red Flu

105. Blac Youngsta – F*ck Everybody 3

106. Megan Thee Stallion – Good News

107. King Von – Welcome to O’Block

108. Mozzy – Occupational Hazard

109. King Von – Levon James

110. Vic Mensa – V Tape

111. DaBaby – Blame it on Baby (Deluxe)

112. Don Toliver – Heaven Or Hell

113. K Camp – Kiss 5 (Deluxe)

114. Lil Uzi Vert – Eternal Atake

115. Fetty Wap – You Know the Vibes

116. French Montana – CB5

117. 2 Chainz – So Help Me God!

118. T.R.U & 2 Chainz – No Face No Case

119. Bia – For Certain

120. Drake – Dark Lane Demo Tapes

121. Future & Lil Uzi Vert – Pluto x Baby Pluto

122. Mulatto – Quuen of Da Souf (Deluxe Version)

123. Rich the Kid – Boss Man

124. Jeezy – The Recession 2

125. Meek Mill – Quarantine Pack – EP

126. Lil Wayne – Funeral

127. Da Baby – My Brother’s Keeper (Long Live G)

128. Lakeyah – Time’s Up

129. G-Eazy – Everything’s Strange Here

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atrabiliousse · 5 years

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uh,, hello,,, if the prompt request Is still open,, could I request the carnation one with Eric from tbz? Thank you so much lovely and I hope you have a good day or good night 💗 (I'm so shy, rip)

my squishy lil shy baby!! i’m so so sorry it took me this long to finally complete and post this, i honestly hope you enjoy it, ily 💓

Carnation with Eric

The skate park was most certainly not your territory.

Not even in an alternative universe could you imagine yourself being a frequent there, much less making use of the facilities. Alas love made you do crazy things, well puppy love to be exact.

That’s what your older sister had called it when she finally confronted you. You had been running out of the house at exactly twenty five minutes past three every afternoon to just about make it in time to meet with him. Your entire face had turned red when she mentioned his name, a tell tale of your little escapades for sure.

She cooed, grabbing your cheeks and continued to tease you until you broke free. It didn’t take much after that to finally run right out of your house, both angry and embarrassed. For goodness’ sake, she was only two years older than you, and you weren’t a child anymore. University was lurking around the corner and (although you do admit to being slightly childish about your crush) he was but your only sense of escape from the inevitable change you were not in the slightest ready for.

Eric Sohn was a breath of fresh air in your large, suffocating city. So refined and pure compared to the polluted stuffy air you seemed to have been choking on for years prior to his arrival.

He had transferred to your school two years ago and since, you had been hopelessly in love with the boy.

Eric had the ability to make everyone smile with the least amount of effort and it made him happy to make others happy. He had strong qualities that without his boyish charm would’ve made it really hard for people to approach him, but with his smile and friendly aura, people flocked to him.

And because of that crowd, it was so much easier to disappear and hide your ever present feelings that overcame you when you were beside him for too long.

Your first ever encounter with the boy had been rather embarrassing but he was charming enough to overlook all of that to talk to you and cheer you up. You had fallen asleep in physics after a stressful night of studying for a test that you had forgotten about. But in true fashion of your absolute favourite teacher, Mr Jameson had called you out to answer a question. Of course, you had no idea what the old man was talking about, so you kept quiet. He then went on to give a much needed speech with you as an example and some rather unpleasant things were said.

Eric sat behind you and watched as you sunk further into your seat as the teacher continued to humiliate you on one of your rather worse days. It was after class had ended that he chased you down the hall, a hand on your shoulder and a warm smile greeted you when you turned around.

“Hey, he had said, his voice softer than you had ever heard it before, “what Mr Jameson did in there was really messed up and not necessary. Don’t take anything he said seriously. I heard he’s been particularly bitter since his wife left him.”

You only nodded, more shocked that he even approached you than you were focused on the dry tear stains on your face. “Yeah,” was all you could muster as a reply. Eric seemed disappointed however, because the boy frowned then, looking around before he turned back to you.

“Do you have anything to do after school today?”

That one question left you almost completely breathless. Where was this coming from? Why was Eric even talking to you, did he even know your name? Did you really look that pitiful that he felt the need to do something?

Because your lack of response, the boy turned sheepish, the classic hand coming to the nape of his neck, a smile so bashful that you felt like you were watching a screening of every teen romance male lead come together to form a super boy.

“I was thinking we could grab some ice cream and maybe go feed Ms Park’s cat to get your mind off of everything. You don’t deserve to be sad because of that old man.”

You couldn’t do much other than nod, your heart threatening to break through your chest or jump right out of your mouth. And you blamed that very day for your silly lovesickness.

Eric waited by your locker when the day ended, a bright smile when he saw you offer him a less vibrant one. You couldn’t deny being self-conscious as you walked out beside him, too many eyes watching as he spoke so excitedly at your side, insisting you pass your bag to him. Luckily trying to convince him that you were more than capable of handling your bag distracted you the rest of the walk to the big gates. It was only then that he gave up, a small smile on his face as you realized that it had been his plan all along to stir you away from the onlookers.

That afternoon, you laughed enough to feel like you had overexerted your stomach muscles with exercise. He spoke excessively, his voice picking up in pitch every time he got a positive response from you with his outrageous stories. You learnt about his life before he moved to your city, learnt about the friends he still kept in contact with and learnt more about his likes and dislikes and fragments of his personality that you promised yourself you would treasure for knowing.

Besides his enthusiastic appearance, Eric was but a tender soul, he had a heart so precious that you feared the world would do much harm to it. He was the perfect mix of childlike and mature and he had a knack for leading, something you could tell he wasn’t aware of. Seeing the boy in an environment other than school only made you so much more susceptible to his charm.

It was only after hours of playing with Ms Park’s cat that the two of you noticed the deep violet wrapping up the sky, not having realized how long the two of you had sat with the cat that was all too famous in your neighbourhood.

Eric walked you home then, standing on your doorstep with a smile and a pleasant light in his eyes. You thanked him shyly, not really sure what more to say after having talked so much about yourself all afternoon, but you thanked him for completely lifting the bitterness that dwelled in you after that physics lesson.

“It’s no problem, I’m just happy to see that smile again. It’s the reason why I’ve always wanted to talk to you. I’ll see you tomorrow at school yeah? Good night.”

After that, you were surely screwed over with your growing feelings for the boy that sat behind you in physics and left chocolate milk on your desk every morning in homeroom.

You two had become quite close friends since then, him always dragging you out with him to places and you making sure he had his maths homework done so you didn’t have to wait outside the detention room for him.

For months and then a year, you remained by Eric’s side, never brave enough to voice the tiny desires that nagged at you everyday. Never once did you gran his hand like your heart urged you to, never did you initiate the hug when the two of you parted like you always imagined yourself doing. Never did you tell him that your feelings haunted you worse than the supposed ghosts in Ms Park’s building.

You were a coward but it never bothered you. Somehow you were content with the friendship as it was, you preferred the genuine care and happiness Eric always told you he associated you with. It made you happy to be someone he valued in his life, it was more than enough.

So whenever you accompanied him to the skate park, a place you had never been to prior to your friendship, you allowed yourself that hour or two to just indulge in your feelings while he was blissfully unaware of it, skating around and messing around with his friends. There was nothing wrong with admiring him from your seat, smiling like a fool by yourself; it was all you needed to suppress the silly daydreams.

The first time the boy dragged you along with him, you were nervous and slightly uncomfortable with the new environment, but his friends were as accommodating as he was and they were quick to put you to ease. Something your friends had a hard time processing, you almost never left your house unless it was dire.

Eric really had you wrapped around his finger and the boy couldn’t be any less aware of it, too busy making you laugh with his silliness to notice the pink in your cheeks.

It was on this specific day that you were late, your sister having delayed you with her antics, but as soon as you got the chance to, you ran out, your bag still unzipped and spilling its contents. With a heavy sigh, you finally made it past the convenience store and well away from your house to start walking instead of running, already irritated from your sister’s unneeded input. The last thing you wanted was to overthink the feelings you had been hiding.

When you got to your destination, you threw yourself down on the grass bordering the bowl, leaning back on your bag as you watched Eric and Sunwoo make their way towards you. “You’re late,” was the first thing he said to you.

Glaring at him, you threw him the can of iced tea you always brought along for the two of you, another little ritual the two of you had developed.

“It’s okay, at least you showed up.”

“I don’t see why it matters, all I do here in any case is watch you idiots skate and majority of the time, fool around.”

Eric smiled then, a smile you had come to know and despise, the smile that always called for trouble.

“Funny you should say that actually,” and when he pulled you up from your seat and all but towed you past the bowl to the mini ramp, you started aggressively shaking your head, trying to root yourself into the cement.

“Eric no, no! This is not happening.”

Sunwoo snickered behind you, his hands on your back to help his friend push you along to what would ultimately be your death, “It’s not as bad as you think.”

You turned around in your spot with the last of your resisting strength to face Sunwoo, “Are you kidding me? You know that I can’t even walk without hurting myself, now the two of you think it’s wise to put me on wheels? A joke!”

“I’m going to be with you the entire time though! I don’t trust you alone with anything with wheels.” Eric countered.

The bewildered expression on your face made both boys laugh as they gathered the necessary gear they never used but were going to force you into.

“Sunwoo! We need some help over here,” Jaehyun laughed from somewhere behind you and the boy excused himself with a goofy smile, half running to the supposed crisis he was needed for.

“This is a bad idea and you know it.” Eric was adjusting the strap of the helmet he had argued you into, his lips parted with concentration, tongue just barely sticking out as he buckled the straps and patted the top of the helmet. You almost lost all your defiance watching him focus so hard to tighten the helmet for you. God, he wasn’t good for your wellbeing.

“Would you relax and trust me?”

“No, because whenever you say exactly that, chaos ensues.”

He tilted his head slightly as if in thought, eyes catching yours, “Fair point.”

There wasn’t much left for you to say after that, the boy having a steady hand on your back and leading you to the base of the ramp, your nerves keeping you quiet besides for heavy breathing. Eric helped you balance on the board, his hands keeping you steady and continuously praising you for basically doing nothing as he moved you forward, walking beside you.

It absolutely terrified you; you could feel yourself wobble every now and then, your feet uncomfortably placed on the board and your legs threatening to cramp up, but you endured it. Seeing Eric encourage you and feeling his gentle guidance on your hip and arm, his eyes switching between you and the slight incline ahead of you, it didn’t help the bubbling adoration in your chest.

After a couple of minutes however, you couldn’t deny, that it was pleasant and for the briefest moment, you smiled. You brought your free arm up and let a laugh tumble off of your lips, gleeful despite all of Eric’s demands to be careful beside you. His hands were strong, warm and comforting; in stark contrast to the breeze against your exposed skin. You got braver, putting a foot down (as you had seen the others do) to propel yourself forward, barely bothered with Eric having to jog to keep up with you.

“Look at you, what happened to not being to walk without falling flat on your face?”

You laughed, looking at him with a smile you didn’t plan to show, “Shut up and make sure I don’t fall.”

The boy returned your grin, “Yes Your highness.”

You allowed Eric to talk you through balancing yourself, nodding haphazardly, more focused on your feet staying on the board and your attention on moving forward without tumbling over.

The experience, you found to be ever so amusing. Much like your feelings, you were so excited to explore, to go full throttle and leave caution to the summer breeze, but there was a part of you, holding you back. Wrapped in all the protective gear you could get your hands on, there was fear pulling you back. What a mess, you thought.

“Why are you so hasty?” Eric chuckled, stepping forward as you let out a frustrated grunt as you lost your balance.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day,” he reminded you gently, his grasp on your elbow.

Maybe it was because of this revelation that you felt like being reckless because despite all of the boy’s warnings and instructions, you did your own thing, going for a more trial and error approach. Which you admit to be one of your lesser knowledgeable strategies.

You couldn’t precisely pinpoint what went wrong, things escalate too fast for your head to process when things turn bad, but the board wobbled along with your legs and then you were falling forward. Multiple of shouts distinguishable behind you but there was one that was more urgent than the rest.

So when you fell to the ground, it was lumpier than what you had imagined behind your tightly shut eyelids. Your upper body was slightly higher than your legs that had dragged against the ground. Opening your eyes, you were more than surprised.

Eric’s eyes were wider than your own, but in them floated more emotions than you could keep count of without your head spinning. His hands braced your shoulders and his eyebrows were furrowed. You felt a bit ashamed seeing the slight anger in the frown his lips were pulled into.

“Why are your eyes so pretty? Your eyes are gorgeous and I’m intimidated.”

You basically choked on your spit from the shock, not sure if you were hallucinating from a possible concussion or maybe you were dehydrated, but you found Eric’s words hard to digest, especially when his eyes didn’t waver for even a second.

“Are you okay?” You finally asked, looking for any way to get out of the situation you found yourself in.

“I should be asking you that, do you have a deathwish I should know about?”

You finally looked away from his face, your eyes rather moving to the blood on his elbows from the impact. And here he had forced you into the elbow pads when he was wearing a damning muscle tee.

You pushed yourself off of Eric, sitting down beside him before you offered your hands to pull him up, which he took, “We should disinfect that.”

“It’s just a scratch,” he laughed, turning his arms awkwardly to assess the wounds, but still you shook your head.

“Let me do that at least seeing as I’m the reason you got hurt in the first place.”

Luckily he didn’t argue with you further as you two stood, gathering his board and your backpacks, deciding it was best to call it a day in any case.

The walk to your house (which was much closer to the skate park than his was) was slightly awkward, you presumed that the two of you were trying to think of something to say without mentioning his very abrupt statement in the midst of the chaos.

You, alone, were still trying to decipher if it had been real. It felt like something out of your dreams, where your suppressed feelings usually lived out your silly fantasies. The way he looked at you, eyes bright and wide and a slight flush in his cheeks and his ears two shades darker, lips parted almost as if he was amazed.

You shook your head aggressively, almost scoffing at your audacity. What would be so amazing about your face basically pressed into his.

Entering your home, you were happy to avoid your sister, only having to run into your mother with a brief summary of what happneded when she fussed over Eric’s elbows. She shook her head at Eric telling her that you had been on his skateboard, reminding the boy that that would always be a disasterous idea.

You couldn’t deny it as you pulled out the first aid kit from the medicine chest in the downstairs bathroom, Eric sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

He was quiet as you disinfected the wounds, not even being exaggerate as you imagined he would be. Instead the boy was much too quiet as he watched you patch him up with slightly shaky hands and a bit of hesitance.

It was only when you were throwing away the wrappers and dirty swabs that he grabbed for your wrist,

“Wait, I wanna say something.”

You tilted your head, “Okay? I’m just gonna throw this away and put away the kit.”

“No!” His voice was unexpectedly loud and hurried and it made you jump in your spot.

“If I don’t say it this right this second, I never will,

“I like you. I like you more than a friend would deem normal. I like you so much that I’d rather endure a thousand of these scratches before I saw you endure one. I like you so much it’s crazy,”

The boy finally tugged you closer, his eyes taking on a sentimental and warm sheen when he gained the courage to look up at you, “Please tell me I’m not the only crazy one.”

#prompt list #requested #my squishy shy anon 🥺#thank you so so much my bby #eric the boyz #eric sohn #sohn youngjae #eric tbz #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #tbz oneshot #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #tbz #the boyz

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