#one sided love
love-wont-save-us-now · 3 months ago
"You can lean on my arm as you break my heart"
— Mitski, I Don't Smoke
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honeypleasejustkillme · 8 months ago
every time you send a dry text or you take 5 hours to respond it feels like your hand is being plunged into my bare chest and ripping my heart out, and if i were to say this out loud i would be being “manipulative” and “dramatic” but it actually feels like i’m dying. it feels like i’m being physically hurt, but of course i still run after you because who would i be without you? i would have nothing to live for, no one to obsessively think about and adore. i would have no one to be completely and whole heartedly in love with, and being absolutely infatuated with you is the worst pain i’ve felt in my life but i wouldn’t change it for a second. you are the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to me but goddamn it i wouldn’t be here without you. i owe everything to you, i fucking adore you my beloved.
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dumbbitchs-blog · 3 months ago
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therapeuticss · 6 months ago
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Gia (1998)
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sweetcheeks36 · 13 days ago
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bleachbum · 2 months ago
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wanting too much
@/horrifically //  Igor Shcherbakov, Sinichka. (oil on canvas), 2019,  // Nicole Homer, Underbelly // Daniele Valeriani // @serratedpens // Takehiko Inoue, Vagabond illustration
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ohtoreadmyheart · 4 months ago
and once in a lifetime, you will fall for someone who will snitch your heart away from you and you will just stare at them. who will make you feel miserable but special. who will turn you into a beautiful beast. who will make you forget all the sorrows of your life and so yourself. who will make you someone totally unknown from what you were. who will give you the most beautiful heart ache ever, a heart ache that you will crave for. once in a lifetime, you will fall for someone who will be so dear to you. someone , who can never be yours. someone whom you can never take your heart back from.  
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pollyna · 22 days ago
100% that Sarah makes the Navy take two flags to funeral: one is what she is going to take home with her and the second one is for Maverick. She doesn't say much when she gives it to him, just he would have want to be like this and I'm sorry for your loss too.
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milkyybuns · 4 months ago
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Strawberry Margarita
(Bartender!Uzui Tengen x Reader)
Characters: Uzui Tengen, afab!Reader
Contains: NSFW (MDNI), dialogue, plot, excessive drinking, one-sided infatuation, masturbation, super naïve and innocent reader, modern AU, crack but that's just my writing style at this point
Synopsis: Working at a bar in downtown Tokyo meant Uzui has seen it all, but he has never seen someone as out of place as you. He takes you home after you pass out from drinking. Nothing happens between you but he can't stop thinking about your adorable, innocent eyes.
Word Count: 1.8k
a/n: Been dying to write modern AU for Tengen, I feel like he would be a very cool n flashy bartender. This fic is a cocktail of crack, fluff, smut, angst and romance, don’t say I didn’t warn you. The focus is on Tengen's POV, enjoy!
tagging: @novaresque (scroll down for the smut you whore), @awaruna2
comment/msg/ask to join the tengen fucker tag list 💖
(Tengen's thoughts are in italics)
Another Saturday night. As usual, Bar Wisteria was packed with loud 20-somethings abuzz with chatter. Tengen didn't really care for these patrons, the kind who couldn't even tell the difference between vodka and nail polish remover. He did however, enjoy performing various flashy tricks with the bottles and lighting towers of flaming shots. He was humming to himself and clearing the bar of discarded glasses when you walked in.
For once, your quiet presence made you stand out. Your shy demeanour meant you were virtually invisible to the other bar-goers. Being a new face in this well-worn establishment, Tengen noticed you immediately.
Fuchsia eyes quickly scanned your appearance as he took notice of your outfit. A sensible leather jacket, simple jewellery, a little makeup and a flowy dress that had sunflowers on it.
You look like you're in the wrong place sweetheart.
To be honest, you looked more like you should be on a date in Disneyland rather than at a cramped and dimly-lit bar. You didn't seem to be waiting for anyone, instead looking nervously at the sticky floor and clutching to your phone like a lifeline.
"First time?" Tengen asked, wiping the counter clean in one smooth motion.
"M-me?" You said.
"Yes you. What can I do for you?" He replied.
"I would like a drink."
Yeah no shit.
Tengen decided to keep that to himself lest you break out in tears.
"What kind of drink do you want?" He calmly asked.
"I'm not sure..." You said.
"Would you...like a recommendation?"
My patience tonight is outstanding. Good job Tengen.
"Yes please." You mustered up a wry smile and looked up at him. It was only then Tengen notices the streaks of dried tears on your supple cheeks.
"You like sweet drinks?" He asked, feeling a little guilty now.
"I think so? I don't really know what I like. " You replied.
"Hm ok, let's do you a strawberry margarita."
"Sounds good." You nodded. To be honest you weren't really sure what was in a margarita but you think you've heard of them on the TV shows you watch.
"Virgin?" Tengen asked.
"W-what?" You jolted up, face flushing red.
"Virgin. Meaning no alcohol. Did you want it with or without tequila?" Tengen asked.
"Oh sorry. Yes I'd like alcohol in my drink please, that's the whole point of drinking after all.." You laughed awkwardly, somewhat embarrassed.
Tengen ran a lime wedge around the rim of a tall legged glass, the citrus seeping into a cut he didn't know he had. He then rolled it into the salt mixture and set it aside.
You seemed to be staring at the glowing screen of your phone, refreshing the same page with no new notifications.
Tengen tossed the frozen strawberries, tequila, orange liqueur, and lime juice to a blender. As the drink whirred in the machine, he looked at you a little more carefully. Aside from the residue tear streaks on your cheeks, and the obvious tiredness in your expression, you were quite cute, not really his type though.
Not that it mattered.
He poured the ruby red blend into the glasses and garnished it with a strawberry.
"One strawberry margarita for the lady." Tengen placed it on the countertop and slid it towards you.
"Oh wow! It's so pretty! Thank you." You smiled at him, a dimple forming on one cheek.
"Blehhh! vath thith thtuff on the wim?" You said, tongue sticking out and face scrunched up.
"Salt." Tengen replied, deadpan.
"Why would you put salt on a drink?" You had finished wiping the salt from your mouth and was busily picking the rest off the rim.
"Hahh? Are you seriously telling me you ordered a margarita without knowing it comes with salt on the rim?" The bartender couldn't believe how utterly clueless you were about one of the most well-known drinks.
"I-I don't know, I've seen people in sitcoms order it and I thought it was sugar or something." You said, face flushed as red as your drink.
Tengen mentally facepalmed.
"What brings you here?" He asked, an attempt to change the topic before he got more frustrated. "No offence but you don't seem like the bar type."
"I had a date, but he stood me up." You said, a sad smile on your face. "It's ok, I'm used to it. Plus he was kinda creepy anyway."
Tengen didn't know why he wanted to punch this guy in the face. You were such a cute little thing, so innocent-looking. His protective instincts kicked in, but then quickly chided himself for thinking such a ridiculous thing about a girl who was no more than a total stranger.
10:00 pm--
You and Tengen talked through the night. He got to know you were into the same music as him, how you were at the end of a long college degree, and that this was your third failed date.
You two talked a lot, given you didn't have anyone else to chat with at the bar. Tengen watched the sadness in your expression gradually disappear. Your eyes sparkled each time you laughed, and he cracked a smile or two as well. You asked him how he became a bartender, and if drink choices really do say a lot about a person.
Customers generally weren't interested in knowing more about Tengen, but you were a good listener.
You'd had a couple more margaritas, without the salt this time, before Tengen decided to cut you off as you were unsurprisingly a total light weight.
"Oi Uzui! Birthday girl on table 7 wants a Flaming Tower." Sanemi yelled at Tengen.
"Yeah coming right up." Tengen replied, a little annoyed at the interruption.
Guess I'm still on the job.
With practised ease, he poured the 24 shots consisting of vodka, tequila and bourbon and placed them on a tray on the countertop.
Shit where's the lighter?
Tengen crouched down to look under the alcohol pumps, but he couldn't find the lighter in it's usual place.
Fuck it must be in the back.
"Oi Uzui! where the fuck are the shots? They're getting on my ass." Sanemi hollered, impatient.
"They're fucking coming, so keep 'em busy won't ya?!" Tengen yelled back. He ran to the storage room behind the toilets, where he found the lighter on a beer crate near the back door.
Gyutaro was probably using it to light his cigs again.
Tengen rushed back to the front. To his absolute horror, you were nearly done slamming back the 24 shots.
"Y/N what the fuck are you doing?" He tried his best not to yell but he was visibly angry.
"Mmnh relaaaax Uzuiii-sannn you are like...sooo loud right now." You smiled lazily and poked his cheek. “Lighten up would ya?” You giggled like a mad woman as he proceeded to lecture you.
"Those were not for you, oh my actual god I was gone for a SECOND and you couldn’t just stay put?" Tengen grabs your wrists and practically drags you to the corner of the room, propping you up on the bar's battered old couch.
"Stay here and sober up, don't drink anymore got it?" Tengen sighed loudly, tightening his ponytail before running back to the bar.
Tengen rushed to repour the shots you drank. He haphazardly stacked them up into a tower and called for Sanemi to serve it up.
"Final-fucking-ly." Sanemi said when he came to the bar counter.
"It's here now isn't it?" Tengen shot back.
It’s gonna be a long night.
Sunday 2:00 am ---
"Oi wake up!" Tengen gently shook you as you slept soundly on the dirty couch, a thin line of drool dangling above your shoulder. Needless to say, this was not your most flattering moment.
It was closing time at the bar and after the flaming shots fiasco, Tengen had completely forgotten about the girl he left on the couch.
Ah shit, she’s so wasted. I can't let her go home like this. And it's too late to call a taxi…
After some quick deliberation in his sleepy mind, Tengen decided to take you home with him. It was his fault for not looking after a customer, letting you get too drunk for your own good.
He did manage to wake you up, but you were in no state to walk safely or answer his questions about where you lived. So he supported your drunken frame and all but lugged you into the backseat of his car.
Sunday 3:00 am ---
Finally time for some goddamn sleep.
Tengen thought as he laid on the futon in his living room while you snored away in his bedroom upstairs.
When he closed his eyes, he wasn’t met by blissful nothingness. Instead, images of your pretty eyes, your cute dimple and your strawberry-stained lips flooded his mind. The way you said his name, even if it was only his last name, was goddamn adorable. Tengen's eyes snapped open.
What the actual fuck?
The silver-haired man didn't understand why he was thinking these things about you. He barely knew you, and no offence but you weren’t even that hot. Like a 7.5 at best.
He decided it was just because it's too fucking late, and every damn part of him was exhausted.
Tengen glared at the bulge in his underwear, his semi-hard cock beckoning him to touch it.
Well I guess not every part of him.
It's ok right? It's not like she'll find out I'm doing this. Unless she comes down stairs and see me touching myself. I wonder how she’d react…
Ugh what am I even thinking? This is gross, and I'm gross. But it’s not gonna go away on it's own...Fuck.
Defeated, Tengen started palming himself through the cotton of his underwear. Closing his eyes again he let his imagination conjure up your timid yet cute expression.
He groaned as he languidly stroked his cock, imagining it was your small hands instead of his wrapping around his shaft. Those cherry-red lips of yours would be so cute pursed around his tip, your pink tongue lapping up his milky precum. Tengen thought about how adorable you would be with your round cheeks full of his cock, how he wanted to press his thumb and forefinger into your dimples and squeeze as he filled your little mouth with his thick cum.
His cock was rock hard by now, it's been a while since he'd gotten this worked up while touching himself and he wasn’t about to stop.
He thought about the pretty sunflower dress you wore, as he imagined bending you over the bar counter, the fabric bunched up to your hips. He wanted to tease his erection against your dripping cunt.
God I bet she‘d beg so sweetly,
He wanted to fuck you until you were a babbling mess, your angelic voice hoarse from screaming his name. He wanted to stretch you with how big he was, so you'd be ruined for any other man in the future.
A couple more hurried strokes and Tengen felt himself near the edge. He slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle the loud moan he let out as he came. His stomach messy with his own sticky seed as he laid there in the dark, panting hard.
Oh what is wrong with me?
Sunday 2:00 pm ---
Another morning, or should I say afternoon?
Tengen's eyes fluttered open as the afternoon sun shone through the living room window.
Wait why am I sleeping on the futon?
Tengen shot up as he remembered the girl he took home from the bar last night. He threw on some track pants before scurrying upstairs to see his bed was empty.
Was it a dream or something?
No it couldn't have been.
Tengen recalled you drinking all the shots, taking you home with him, tucking you into his bed, and... jerking off to those inappropriate thoughts of you. He felt guilty for the last one, but pushed it aside for now.
He then noticed a small note on the coffee table, the handwriting was hurried but neat. It read:
Dear Uzui-san,
I'm so so sorry about last night, I shouldn't have drank so much and made myself a burden to you. I wanted to apologise in person but I have to go to work now and I don't want to wake you.
Here's my number. Please text me so I can pay you for the shots.
Tengen rubbed his temples, unsure what to do with this little piece of paper. He was about to scrunch it up and toss it in the trash, but for whatever reason, he didn’t.
Ugh guess I better have some breakfast before I make any more dumb decisions.
With that, the little piece of paper was tucked away in his pocket.
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sunarintarouswhore · 2 months ago
Burning Love ❤️‍🔥
Pairings: Tsukishima x Reader & Kageyama x Reader
Warnings: first time writing a OneShot, fem!reader name calling, mix of angst and fluff, one sided love, cursing, comfort, suggestive themes, breeding kink, partially proofread
Tags: fem! reader, slight dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, having sex to forget about pain, making out, eating out
Key: italicized parts are tsukkis pov
Wc: 1912
an: i'm so sorry if this sucks 😭
You've had a crush on your best friend Tsukishima for as long as you can remember. The thing is he has his eyes on another person and only sees you as his best friend. But little did you know that Kageyama your childhood friend is in love with you…
"what should i wear today tobio?" you told Kageyama while you were trying to find an outfit to wear to school since today was your 21st birthday. you've been trying on clothes for the past hour already and Kageyama hasn't been any help because all he says is "you look amazing in that" to EVERY single outfit. after another thirty minutes you finally found your outfit and you feel pretty confident in it. "do you think Tsukishima will like it tobio? you think he'll say i look good? will he finally look at me and fall in love with me? is he-” “Y/N STOP RAMBLING! you look stunning, and if he doesn't see that then it's his loss cause you're fucking hot y/n." you feel yourself turning red, you just stayed quiet not knowing what to say because no one's ever told you something like that before. Kageyama notices your cheeks having a slight pink tint to them which makes his heart start beating faster, so he just says "are you ready to go?" you quickly get your things and go straight to his car and say "y-yeah i'm ready" the car ride to school was quiet but a nice type of quiet, a comfortable kind of quiet that makes you feel safe.
you walk into your first class and the first person you look for is Tsukishima, you find him and walks towards him to sit next to him. "hey tsukki! how are you??" "oh hey y/n i didn't see you walk in, why are you all dressed up today?" you feel your heart drop to your stomach when he asked you that..you think to yourself "did he really forget today's my birthday...” he notices the look on your face and asks "what's wrong? someone in a bad mood today?” obviously just to play with you but all you can think of is the fact that he forgot your birthday. with a fake smile you say “h-huh? oh uh no haha i'm fine, just remembered that tobio said he had something planned for me today" he looks at you confused and says "wait but i thought we were gonna hangout today?" does she really think that i forgot her birthday? obviously i'm just messing with her like i always do but there's no way she actually believes i don't remember her birthday. right? now she's gonna go hang out with stupid tobio instead of me? i have to convince her to hang out with me because i planned a whole day for her today. "why are you going with that king dude and not me? we always hang out after school" you just look at him and say “not really tsukki, we haven't hung out for weeks now. so that's why i'm gonna hang out with tobio today!" just messing with her like i always do but there's no way she actually believes i don't remember her birthday. right? now she's gonna go hang out with stupid tobio instead of me? i have to convince her to hang out with me because i planned a whole day for her today. "why are you going with that king dude and not me? we always hang out after school" you just look at him and say “not really tsukki, we haven't hung out for weeks now. so that's why i'm gonna hang out with tobio today!" he just looks at you not and stayed quiet not knowing what to say. he thought you wouldn’t notice his absence recently since he started going out with kana more than usual.
“we can do something tomorrow tho, i’m not doing anything so we could go out and have fun like we used to!” you blurted out. “i already have plans tomorrow. oh and. happy birthday y/n.” he hands you a small gift then gets up and walks out without swaying anything else. you open the little box and see a beautiful necklace in the form of a crescent moon, and under it there’s a note that says “happy birthday midget. uh i don’t know what to write but that you’re a great best friend don’t know what i’d do without you and that i love you. i know i don’t say it but yeah. also hope you like your gift cause remember? my name means the moon, cheesy right? i couldn’t ask for a better friend. anyways that’s all i have to say. ~ tsukki” you get up and run out the room after him to thank him but suddenly stop at the sight in front of you…
“yeah yeah i missed you too kana.” she has her arms wrapped around him. she’s kisses his lips. snuggles her face into his chest. he has his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin resting on her head. a knot starts forming in your throat, tears start to form in your eyes, you sight starts to get blurry, your legs feel weak, and you feel your heart shatter into a million pieces… Kageyama saw everything you saw so he walks up to you, takes you to his car and hugs you. fuck. y/n saw us together. i wasn’t ready to tell her yet. she wasn’t supposed to find out about kana. and why was the king with her? “i-i thought he l-liked me the way i liked h-him…” “hey hey it’s okay he’s a jerk anyways, cry all you want. you know i’ll always be here for you y/n.” Kageyama hates seeing you likes this. it hurts him to see that the person he’s in love with is hurting. “do you wanna go home? you don’t have to stay here and endure all of this y/n” you look up at him with smeared mascara and nod your head. you two get in the car and start heading home. the whole car ride home Kageyama was holding your hand and rubbing circles on it. he kept asking you if you were okay and made sure you were comfortable the whole time. “wait i thought we were going to my house?” you saw that you guys had passed your house. “i think it’s better if we go to my place, your friend might be there and i don’t want her to see you like this” you completely forgot about your friend that lives with you. “oh. yeah you’re right”
“we’re here y/n” he lightly shakes you to wake you up from your small nap. you stretch your legs out a bit then shift in your seat to face Kageyama. he gently caresses your cheek and moves the strands of hair away from you face and ticks them behind your ear. you can see that he’s looking at you with pure love and is makes you feel some type of way. right now all you can think of is how beautiful Kageyama’s eyes are, how soft his lips look, the slight pink tint they have, the way his hair looks so soft and fluffy, the way his hand feels on your face. you’re too caught up in his beauty that you don’t feel yourself slowly leaning in closer and closer to face until you feel soft lips colliding with yours. the kiss was so passionate that things started escalating quickly.
you’re slowly grinding on top of him still making out with him. his hands roam your body freely. they find their way to your breasts, he takes one into his hand and starts playing with your nipple causing you to let out a small moan. both your eyes are full of lust all you can think of is how he’d feel inside of you. “fuck you’re so hot y/n. you don’t know how long i’ve waited for this day. are you sure you want to do this tho? i don’t wanna do anything without your consent first.” he says while both of you are catching each other’s breath. “yes. please tobio. i need you right now, please make me forget about him. i just want to forget about him.” he looks at your face for any signs of discomfort or disapproval and sees that you’re serious. “let’s go inside, i want to make feel good on my bed”
legs spread open giving him a perfect view of your throbbing pussy. “i always knew your pussy was pretty” he leans in closer to your heat his nose touching your clit making you let out a moan. “you’re so wet” you cover your mouth and look away so he can’t see your flustered face. “let me see that pretty face of your yeah?” he moves your hand from your face and makes you open your folds for him giving him a better view of your cunt. he looks at you once more before doing anything, you nod your head giving him approval and with no hesitation he’s licking your pussy. “mmm taste s’good pretty” “f-fuck tobio feels so good” you throw your head back and with one hand you push his head in deeper to feel even better. “needy aren’t we? such a little slut for me” he slips a finger in adding more to the pleasure making your eyes roll to the back of your head. “mmmh” he adds another finger speeding up his pace, you feel a knot starting to form in your stomach “tobio mmmh~ ‘m gonna cum” “go on cum on my fingers like the little whore you are for me” “UUGGH FUCK~” with that you cum all over his face and fingers. “good girl” he puts your legs over his shoulders and aligns his tip with your entrance. you jump a little because you’re still sensitive from the orgasm you just had. he teases you by rubbing his dick on your folds and slowly sliding it in and out. “tobiooo” he looks at you and says “don’t call me that. what’s my name?” you get all flustered so you move your hand to put his dick inside you yourself but he grabs your hand and stops you. “not so quick say my name first” he pulls away causing you to whine “f-fine!” “what do we say now?” “c-can you please fuck me daddy~” he looks at you and smirks “that’s my girl” without warning he shoves his dick inside you causing you to whine in pain that quickly turns into pleasure. he’s fucking you so hard your brain is all hazy and fuzzy you can’t even put words together. “feels s’good. this pretty pussy s’mine” he thrusting into you so deep you’ve never felt anything like this before. “MMH y-yes daddy right there” he takes his finger and starts playing with your clit making you yell out “OH FUCK~” he loves this view of you right now “s’tight baby” your a moaning mess at this point you even forgot about the whole Tsukishima thing. his thrusts are getting sloppier, you can feel his cock twitching inside of you “y/n ‘m gonna cum are gonna let me fill you up with my babies yeah?” “yes tobio p—please cum inside mmh~ ‘m gonna cum too” he thrusts inside your pussy a few more times before shooting his seeds inside your cunt. you’re coming down from your high mind still hazy with tibios cock still inside you shooting his seeds. he leans down to your face and kisses you. he looks at your eyes and says “you’re s’pretty y/n”
an: hiii!!! omg i really loved writing this like i was FANTASIZING over here 😩 this is my first time posting literally ANYTHING that includes me writing something! i just reallyyyy wanted to join rindoux 1k collab <3 i had a little bit of trouble with it but i ended up finishing it 😁 don’t know if it’s good but i really hope you guys like it! 🤎
reblog and shares really appreciated <3
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stxckinwonderland · 5 months ago
I fall in love with people that don’t love me back. It happens over and over. I pretend that I’m strong. That it’s barely an inconvenience that their feelings for me aren’t even a fraction of what i feel, and that it doesn’t feel terrible when they don’t choose me when I’d choose them over and over again. I pretend that every time I realise their feelings for me aren’t the same i don’t feel a gaping hole in my chest. I fall in love with people who don’t love me back and I’m tired of pretending that I’m not worn out from only ever loving and never being loved.
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love-wont-save-us-now · 9 months ago
Do you think about me when that song comes on, do you think about me in the dark, do you think about me on my birthday, do you think about me about all?
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honeypleasejustkillme · 8 months ago
i fucking hate having a fp
literally fuck you and i hope you die
but only for the next 5 minutes, then i’ll be absolutely infatuated and hopelessly in love with you all over again.
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dumbbitchs-blog · a month ago
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therapeuticss · 6 months ago
“I am hopelessly in love with a memory. An echo from another time, another place.”
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missinyouiskillingme · 4 months ago
„Sometimes we love people like we love the stars.“ — „How?“ — „We love them knowing we could never have them.“
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madmanwonder · 7 days ago
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Yandere Vampire Queen Pyrrha Nikos when she is thinking of her beloved, Jaune Arc of the illustrious Arc family and how much he obviously love her with his tenacious attempt to stake her heart and his numerous escape attempts from her castle.
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thekingofwinterblog · a month ago
You know, thinking about whether or not Sashanne might originally have meant to be the final endgame ship, got me thinking...
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Because if it actually was, and then was changed in development because of orders from above, then Marcy's scene here in her fantasy land would hit VERY differently.
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"This... This isn't real is it? The Real Anne and Sasha don't want what I want, and it hurts... But forcing them to follow my dreams is wrong."
Whether you believe that Marcy had feelings for Anne, or Sasha, or both, or was asexual or aromantic, if the series had had Sashanne end up been canon, this would have fit in very well with any of those ideas, just on a much more Somber and Sad note.
Because rather than her just having to accept that Anne and Sasha don't have the same interests as her, it would also mean having to accept that even if they remain friends, things will be different now. And if she wanted them to remain friends, this is something she would have to accept and deal with.
As often happens in this kind of situations, where friends from a friend group hooks up, forcing the remaining ones to figure out how things are going to work.
And that HURTS. It can hurt even if you don't have romantic feelings yourself to complicate things because you just have to accept that your friends will now be spending way more time without you, and if you object to it, you both look like and feel like an asshole.
This is a feeling that would have hit Marcy especially hard.
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And if you do find yourself in this situation, and you DO have romantic feelings for those involved... Well it is a horrible situation that is guaranteed to make you miserable. And if you aren't able to come to some sort of acceptance and move on, your relationships WILL break.
It is absolutely a situation Marcy would fear immensely.
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It would also fit in well to explain why Marcy's greatest fears and nightmare includes what seems to be blatant Sashanne imagery.
Because she genuinely fears them hooking up and leaving her behind.
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miss-sweet-and-sour-butt · 5 months ago
•Guys, I pray to god not to send me men who have their mars in my 12th house again. This is so tough. I have this with 3 guys till now and it's so complicated. There are lies, secrets, obsessions, dreams, spirituality, desires to leave everything behind and just run away and sometimes it can also be one-sided. I don't want to write a long paragraph in details about it because it's too personal to post those here but I want to warn you guys not to underestimate 12th house synastry, especially when moon,mars,venus and mercury are involved.
•You will be like "I met this guy out of nowhere. I fell in love with him and now, he is inconsistent." or "I met this guy out of the blue and I have never met him in real life but I'm having a crush on him and I think we are meant to be together, I swear to god." You will be searching "Signs a man wants you but trying to hide it", "Do guys hide their emotions when they are too intense for a girl?" in google. Just stop. But it can be spiritual in some ways too. I found out about astrology, tarot and spirituality after I have met the 3rd guy and it led me to the beginning of my spiritual journey. I manifested him as a specific person and I started to see all angel numbers (especially 111) crazily since then. So, it is true that 12th house synastry is spiritual and karmic.
•However, it is one-sided in most of the cases. Sometimes, it can be like one of two people is emotionally unavailable and doesn't want to connect with the other on an emotional level. In other words, they might just want cuddles, hugs, dirty pics and texts, flirting, sex. Plus, it can be that those two have long distance relationship. Sometimes, you can be their side-chick. In my experience, there is no limit on who is more obsessed with the other or who has one-sided love but in most cases, it can be the 12th house person who has to receive all pain and tears and has a massive crush on the mars person and has a dream to connect with the mars person on an emotional and spiritual level. But mars person doesn't even feel it and doesn't reciprocate feelings (maybe they will too but it's not as intense as the house person).
•So,let me stop my post here. I said it's not going to be a long post and it's already long lmao. This is what happens when my mercury is in 12th house in natal chart. I need some space and time to release my own thoughts by writing on some sites or a paper.
•P.s. This is not going to reasonate for everyone of course and one aspect in a synastry chart can neither break nor build a relationship. However, this is based on my experience and hope you guys enjoy reading this. Plus, this is my first own post about astrology so I am a bit nervous. And yes, please don't copy my work. I did not have to do a research for this post but I had to give some time and courage for writing this, so, please have respect and ethic.
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priestessofthegalaxy · a month ago
A letter to my unrequited love - I
{Confessions of a scorpio moon}
I thought I loved you. It was dangerous. I was intimidated how severely you controlled my mind. I was willing to do anything to please you. To give up my freedom, my studies, my family, my friends, my foundation just to spend time with you. I'd stare at my phone with anxiety crawling up my skin, wondering if you were ignoring me on purpose. You always did it intently. It would drive me mad. I'd be so hurt and pissed knowing you'd read my messages but would never care to reply. I would never understand why I would reply to you in milliseconds when you'd make me wait for hours. Why I'd hurt after hurting you as a form of reactive abuse. I always wanted to soothe your pain, to ease your suffering, to make you feel loved because I saw past your facade. I knew how you'd be the cool guy, the life of the party, the social butterfly who could charm anyone. But I wanted to be the special one who'd lock eyes with you and make you mine. I never felt like I deserved you. I put you on a pedestal and worshipped you like God. I always felt like you were everything that was considered "cool" by the society. People would admire you. They would give in. I did too. You could draw in anyone you liked. You had the game. You could lay eyes on anyone and have them by sweet talking them into your trap. I knew you were playing me. My intuition tried to warn me several times. The red flags seemed dangerous every now and then but being the reckless lover that I am, I thought you'd be the right person to break my heart. Maybe, I expected too much from you. I wanted you to fill the voids I had. I wanted to be consumed by your love. I needed your attention constantly. I wanted to talk to you 24*7 although I never really had much to talk about. I was boring as hell but you, there would always be messages lined up for you. I felt privileged and honoured to receive a reply from you. It validated me. I felt seen. And heard. And appreciated. It was the best feeling ever. I had only been abandoned, discarded and used all my life. Being validated felt magical for a change. It made me want to surrender my life to you. I started living as per your terms. I'd do little things you'd mention in conversations to become your ideal lover in hopes of being noticed by you. But time and again, you'd fail to notice me. As if I was never there. But I was. I was always there for you. Through thick and thin. Right before your eyes.
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