#only in britain

[yuuki-o]

(via 340906540_614039087289123_577457346246127038_n.jpg (1580×1872))

“Drive-by Abuser considers People Saying Sorry

Alright, you just said sorry to someone 'cos they bumped into you? you need to recalibrate your response to shit like that yeah? what you gonna do if they punch you in the face? offer to cook their fucking dinner or something? sorry mate, I'm only joking it's a fucking minefield yeah? see you round.“

#apology #sorry #Only in Britain #funny #facebook

[ridge-racer-ds]

The bathrooms at Brigg Town FC, wouldn't normally post about toilets but the inclusion of an office desk gave me liminal space vibes and caught me totally off guard

#for when you want to do business while doing your business #non-league #non league football #liminal #liminal spaces #uk #only in britain

[hamletthedane]

My neighbor just leaned across the 50ft-drop gap between our apartment balconies to hand me a 6-pack of Shiner as a bribe to finish watching Red White & Royal Blue with him and his British boyfriend (“you don’t understand - it’s ABOUT THE TWO OF US!!”), and I think snapshots of time like this are probably the meaning of life

#his mom is a big Texas politician he’s from Austin and his boyfriend has some kind of noble title in Britain so he’s not WRONG #but the question is: will I allow my favorite drink to be a bribe to watch fanfic in movie form at my neighbor’s house #or rather finish watching bc I fell asleep around the 90th sex scene last time lmao #and woke up only in time to angrily text DJ about the fact that the characters somehow BIKE from DOWNTOWN AUSTIN to the SUBURBS #shut up e #random #off topic blogging #red white and royal blue #cw alcohol

[hedgehog-moss]

“How was it large enough to fit in one direction but too narrow in the other…??” Well, it's easy! As was demonstrated by Prof. Shadoko in his Shadok Logic (or Logique des Passoires), you only need for the circumference of the hole that the PVC surrounds to be both larger in one direction and smaller in the other than Pirlouit's leg. Hope that helps.

I love you for randomly bringing up Shadok logic! I actually dug up my old Shadok VHS tapes a few years ago and added English subtitles to a bunch of episodes, so my English-speaking kid cousins could discover the series...

For people who don't know this monument of French culture, the Shadoks is an absurdist anti-educational children's programme about bird-shaped aliens whose logic is too evolved to be understood by mere humans.

#ask #the shadoks invade earth at some point during s1 #hence the presence of french and british shadoks here #but it's confusing because the shadoks are also perpetually at war with a british alien species known as the Gibis #(for Great Britain) #it's the only confusing thing about this cartoon though so it's okay

[alabasterstoned]

♡ get to know me ♡ Favourite Ships [1/∞] → Dave Lister & Arnold Judas Rimmer

"The sun can't make moonlight without the moon, and the moon can't make moonlight with the sun, so who's making the moonlight?" "...They both are."

#i put a song in the notes lmao #i am literally so unhappy with how this turned out but sometimes you just have to put it down and move on #i also didnt want to use any au rimmers - no nanobots or ace - only the real deal bayybbee!! #Teenage post 56 A good boyfriend loves girl with all his heart. He not afraid to point to girl in front of hisfriends and says #''Thats her. That's the liverpudlian bum that cursed my dick'' #the thing abt living in britain is you can just think to yourself ''hmm i want to talk to craig charles today'' and then just get in the #car and go see him #red dwarf #rimster #red dwarf is actually something that can be so gender #gtkmm #gtkmm ship #mine

[autismserenity]

jewish shower thoughts

A Reddit comment I can't stop thinking about: "If you think whiteness is bad, Jews are white to you. If you think whiteness is good, Jews aren't white to you."

#Assorted context: #the belief that Israel is white people colonizing and stealing the land of indigenous people of color #“Jewish supremacy” #“Israel supremacy” #“nobody can tell you're Jewish unless you say something therefore antisemitism is not a problem and it's [only] our hijabis who are at risk #if you're confused about the first example: #Jews are an ethnicity and are the indigenous people of the region under the UN's definition of indigineity #nobody is stealing the Gaza Strip #Israel pulled out of it in 2005 and made all Israeli citizens move too #nobody stole land from Palestinians to create Israel #if a two-state solution is stealing land from Palestinians then it should be even worse that Britain gave 3/4 of the land up to Jordan #literally the entire state of Jordan was originally part of the 'Mandate for Palestine' #I've never even heard people mention that; I found it out by accident while digging into the history here

[aviolettrose]

I feel like, if Jason was ever de-aged, Bruce wouldn't leave his side and be the best dad ever for him (he sees it as a second chance)

#jason todd #batfam #bruce wayne #dick grayson #the batkids would definitely be jealous #tf you mean Bruce can be a good dad?! #bruce: of course we can spend time together son😊🥰 #dick: see that's why i hated to visit back then #tim: I think I never saw bruce smiling like that when I was Robin #Damian: tt #also Damian: does father even love me? *identity crisis* #Barbara: yeah seems about right #alfred being Jason's favorite makes bruce jealous #Bruce: Heeeeeey Alfie. Wanna visit Great Britain? You know you deserve it #alfred: only if master todd comes with me #bruce: fuuu #jason: vacation? in Great Britain? Isn't it too expensive? #Bruce: I'll buy you anything you want even if it makes me poor because its gonna be worth it to see you smile #that's how Jason alfred and bruce went to london without the others #when jason is older again he wonders how it is possible that he has those memories of being young but having more siblings #bruce: idk what you mean? it was always just you and dick back then. #jason: then how come i have a memory where damian tries to kill because Alfred the cat slept in my room instead of his?! #bruce: idk bad dream? #meanwhile Alfred shows everyone the cute pictures he took of jason in London #duke is baby jays favorite

[sanctus-ingenium]

wait, inver!england/albion blew up? how'd it blow up? nuke? meteor? magic? is the whole place like.. Gone? or just barren?

what caused it to become completely depopulated (and for its landmass to increase dramatically, causing it to bridge to the mainland & ireland, as visible in the map) was an Explosive Otherworld Event which also caused the formation of the Ruad, the giant and maybe-supernatural forest which covered the land. It was then re-settled by the people on its fringes (finbarr's ancestors etc) but it took them a very long time, relatively speaking, and even in the 21st century (pascal time) Inver is mostly uninhabitable forest with quite a weak economy and low level of Modern Conveniences compared to surrounding countries (the forest warps electromagnetic waves so it's very difficult to use a mobile phone there)

#britain and france both died a death before they ever existed and inver took their place and performed so poorly #that never in a million years could it become a colonial superpower because it could barely colonise its own land #the only reason people settled inver was because it was convenient route to ship goods overland from east of Inver to the Atlantic #using the lough as a convenient ferryway when it wasn't trying to kill everyone and u made the right offerings #setting: inver

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[kanouseis]

listening to morgan's np lines after having played lb6.2 is soooo. like this woman has been misunderstood by Everyone her entire time as a queen, but she's always said it. she's always said that she won't save the fairies. after centuries of having banished calamities and then having been mistreated by the fairies – "this is the dream of destruction i kept seeing" – she has given up. the fairies will never change. she sealed off the paradise – "nobody may pass"; or how the inscription says, "only those without sin may pass" – all fairies are beings of sin ("you can only die a sinner's death"). she has held onto her words. "there is no retribution, no salvation". she won't take revenge, she won't save them again. there is no point, because fairies will never change. she will forever sit alone on her throne. the fairies don't have to be scared, they don't have to hope ("there is no fear nor hope"). morgan is there. she always will be there. she has given up on trying to change things. it's pointless.

#fgo #fate grand order #fgo morgan #lb6 spoilers #it just Gets me that this is how the lostbelt came to be stagnant #its the very nature of fairies #and maybe its the same for morgan too #because if she could actually save them things would change #but change is impossible for fairies #morgan is sooo doomed by the narrative #and she decided to play along #might as well just preserve britain forever then #its the only way she could ever have britain #fgo meta

[uncleclaudius]

Plaster cast of a relief of a bull being sacrificed in front of the temple of Mars Ultor. This scene comes from a larger monument which is thought to have commemorated the triumph of emperor Claudius in 44 AD after his armies successfully invaded Britain the previous year. The triumph was celebrated in grand style even though military operations were still ongoing in Britain. Claudius himself spent only sixteen days on the islands and the campaign itself was capably managed by his general Aulus Plautius.

#ancient rome #roman empire #emperor claudius #julio claudian dynasty #aulus plautius #ancient history #ancient culture #ancient civilizations #ancient art #relief #military cred was the only reason claudius invaded britain in the first place #and to be fair he did give aulus plautius an ovation once he came back to rome

[letters-to-rosie]

more Ekko discourse, but meta this time

there's just something in him that feels like it's dug firmly into the black radical tradition, even though there's no blackness as such in the show's world itself. I've said before that one of my interests in media studies is looking at what gets imported into a fantasy setting and what gets left out (for example, I'm curious about Arcane's capitalism). with Ekko you have a character who is not just fighting for his people's survival but for their dignity. they have to live. he's reintroduced using Misfit Toys, a song that comments explicitly on real-world oppression while also being relevant to the setting; political music is a VERY black tradition. he fights the cops. they gave my man locs, which are historically very contentious in the diaspora and have political connotations. him sitting in his pseudo-throne makes me think of that famous pic of Huey P. Newton. I really like that balance, where Ekko is rooted in his world but is also radical in a way where it maps nicely onto real-world blackness and black struggles. I can only think of one other show that's struck a similar balance in fantasy (and, oddly enough, it also features Denzel Curry lmao)

AND ALL THAT IS TO SAY

if they fumble the bag in season 2 I am gonna lose it. you know what's also very black about Ekko? the way he gets screwed over in terms of space in the story, making his mark almost halfway by his charisma alone (shoutout to the animation), the way he gets shot by a cop, and the way I worry the story might not know what to do with him. he really could have benefited from a couple extra scenes, or I would have made it explicit that Heimerdinger helps him get home, which I think would have given him a little more thematic consistency. we'll see, I guess. in the meantime, I'll keep having fun writing a fic where I get to engage themes in his character explicitly with the black radical tradition, because me

#ekko #arcane ekko #arcane #arcane meta #what i'm saying is that ekko coming out on top would be a win for black people #and that is only slightly a joke lmao #anyway #really interested here in Cedric Robinson's idea that #black radicalism is more about the metaphysical than the material #ekko does both #love that for him #also inspired by Paul Gilroy talking about blackness in Britain

[kurozu501]

*thinks for 2 seconds about morgan's death scene* that was so fucked up. that fucked me up. i need to lie down.

#we've never had a lostbelt king have that pitiful and awful a death #the others at least got to have some dignity #morgan spent her entire life fighting for britain while running from the fairies knives #she did so much for them #and in the end it still ended the only way it ever could #the same way it ended for cernunnos #everything you did for them ignored as they make up a chorus of lies to justify what they already wanted to do: butcher you #the one person you cared about forced to watch before she too was torn to pieces by the mob #god i just need a scene in chaldea where morgan and babohan sith get to hug

[wizzard890]

some creative, wanting to make a King Arthur adaptation: "But how will people know it's for boys?"

his barista, trapped in this conversation: "What?"

creative: "You know, the knights and castles and magic and chivalry - I mean it's all kind of gay."

barista: "I--uh. Is it?"

creative: "Women are into that stuff, but they don't move tickets. I need to signal loud and clear that this King Arthur is butch, and that his knights are all rugged and masculine. --What's the most male time period?"

barista: "That's such a wild question."

creative: "I mean it has to be England after the Romans left, right? With all the Vikings and blue people and aqueducts and swordplay."

barista: "Isn't there still swordplay if they're all chivalric knights in the fourteenth century?"

creative: "No! No, that's gay, Rebecca, aren't you listening!"

rebecca: "Jesus."

creative: "What kind of guy is going to watch a movie about knights riding off to London when he could watch a movie about a warlord riding to Londinium?"

rebecca, pulling a quad shot with a thousand yard stare: "I honestly couldn't say."

creative, yelling into his voice memo app: "find and replace 'Merlin' with 'Taliesin'. -- God this is gonna be huge."

#anyway the only valid way to do a king arthur adaptation is to treat post-roman britain as an apocalyptic landscape #and superimpose anachronistic high medieval aesthetics onto it #bernard cornwall and stephen lawhead and the clive owen arthur and all their ilk #are homophobic to me specifically #stop anchoring this to the fifth century!!! grow up!! #(this may be the most specifically on brand complaint I've ever gone to so much trouble to make) #arthuriana

[sometimesjo]

i need to present, for everyone's consideration

the official yorkshire tea™ PS5 controller

#i generally only collect gaming stuff i'm gonna use #but this is one i'd buy and keep in a plastic display box for the rest of its life #its so fucking funny #but it costs $200 dollars not including shipping from britain #playstation #yorkshire tea

[violetjbtaylor]

What I *love* about being English is you are brought up with the idea we are a ‘Christian’ country that is almost too soft for its own good. That we treat everybody with kindness, and our only problem is that we are just so fucking kind that everybody takes advantage of us 😢. Womp womp.

Of course, you grow up and realise that, actually, the people who are the recipients of that good, Christian treatment are rich, heinous pieces of doo who couldn’t give two shits about anyone who isn’t of their socioeconomic background. Everyone outside of that gilet-shagging bubble is, of course, scum.

And then you leave school and find what you've learned about your country's history is absolute bullshit. Our military didn't go into countries to free people from oppressive regimes but rather to make the rich men who told them to go and kill people they deem as their enemies even richer. Oh, and then there are the civilian rapes and murders. But we are the good guys, see! We may have colonized your country, but we occasionally send an old man with sausage fingers over there to wave at you and ignore your requests for your stuff back!

I thought being British was loving Robbie Williams a bit too much... oh how I was wrong.

The 'kindness' that proud folk misplaced as being an English trait is essentially mass silence regarding rich men and how they want to live while being a cunt to everybody else. English people are very vocal about immigrants, the working class, the disabled and anybody who simply doesn’t live like Sid James in a fucking Carry On film. From tall poppy syndrome, the middle-class people who interchange their politics like a y2k Depop fit to flag shaggers… this country is a joke, and I would like to leave, please, sir xoxo.

Over 4 million children are living in poverty, but please tell me why I should give a shit about a flag on the collar of an England shirt and why Angela Rayner is a slag because she sold her council house. Meanwhile... how much money was spunked up a wall on PPE you paid for through your mate's imaginary companies? How much money did Priti Patel spend in a nail salon again?

P.S. Of course, I can’t just leave because I’m agoraphobic, poor and objectively useless. I have a degree in Music Business, thou lads, if the world's most useless degree is appealing to any EU country, that would be sehr schön xoxo

#england #britain #british #english #uk politics #do you know how far i went into our ancestry for a whiff of hope #only to find out my family have a long history of keeping donkeys #where the fuck are the donkeys now?