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chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter · 3 months

Text

Look at how my tears ricochet.

(or the unoverse fic)

(part 2)

(the MuSan is less subtle and more tragic because hell yeah, but it still could be seen as platonic since the plot is focus on the angst and not on the romance at all)

(also some background HanKisa if you squint it)

(link to ao3, in case someone prefers to read it there)

Introduction and Part 1 here. Read it before for this to make sense!

I want to dedicate this chapter to @souyaddiction because your post of this morning gave me the hype to finally sit down and end it because it was half-done for more than a month. So thanks, really. your words meant a lot! (and for the rest of you, don't hesitate to comment on the fics you like, it will make an author so damn happy 💜)

Also, a song for this chapter, courtesy of @just-sp-in-inginthevoid and their amazing Sanzu playlist!

Warnings: Angst and hurt/no comfort. Sanzu is having another mental breakdown (once for chapter, seems like a good ratio I guess?🤔). Mental health issues and a lot of self-hate because lil gremlin is not having a good time. I promise the ending will be bittersweet and have some hope on it (but not for Sanzu, sorry blorbo!)

MANGA SPOILERS! (Sanzu's mind it's a big manga spoiler)

Notes: Okay, I know I said it would change POV between Kisaki and Sanzu, but I don't know how to write Kisaki, his mind is a total mystery for me. So...this is Sanzu's POV again because thank god he's a stalker and I could fit all the plot just with his point of view. I don't feel too confident with the part of Kisaki's dialogue, but I did my best, I hope he doesn't sound OoC! (also, the thought on Kisaki and Hanma belong to Sanzu, not me, I love my HanKisa weirdos)

Next chapter will be the last one, yuhuuuu! Stay tunned 💜

'This are his intrusive thoughts' and 'This are his regular thoughts'! I was trying to show how broken his mind already is and this seemed like the best way in my head of showing it, I hope it makes sense :)

Also, I did that game with the names again because I love it. I used "Haruchiyo" when he feels more vulnerable, more emotional. And "Sanzu" when he's trying to hide this vulnerability or more close to the edge, to becoming that deranged Sanzu that we saw in Kanto Manji and Bonten.

(Same for "Mucho" and "Muto", since is Sanzu's pov the first one is used in more affectionate moments)

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

To be honest, Sanzu is bored. He's plan was pretty simple: following Kisaki around until he discovers something he can use. It's also really easy to do it, at least for him. He's too used to being a shadow, to not being looked twice. Something that used to be painful but plays in his favor when he needs to spy on someone. 'Sure, keep lying to yourself, you love being nothing more than a mere shadow for everyone. Always so easy to ignore.'

After more than two weeks of doing this, the most interesting thing that happened was when Kisaki managed to make Hanma a new captain in Toman, pulling off an alliance that apparently impressed some of the other captains. Haruchiyo felt a punch in his gut at this, as if this decision was the same as spitting on Baji's memory. But he shut up, even if he couldn't understand why Mikey did this, at the end of the day, who was he to question the king's decisions?

If Mikey had asked Sanzu about this, he would've said it was a terrible idea. But he didn't, no one asked him, so he just kept his opinion for himself. 'No one ever asks you anything that actually matters, right? Because they don't trust you.' 'That's not true, Baji trusted me. That's why I'm doing this, I can't let him down.'

His own thoughts are starting to go out of control (again) and Sanzu is sure that the cause is this tedium. 'Do something, fucker! Plan a murder, plot some evil shit or whatever!' But no, Kisaki just keeps doing the same routine almost every freaking day (at least that allows him to still keep an eye on Mikey, since Kisaki actually goes to class, that bastard it's so boring). He tries to distract himself wondering why on Earth Hanma looks so amused around the boy with glasses, like he was in some kind of circus. 'What a freak, he genuinely likes spending time with that fucker'.

To be honest, Sanzu actually learned some important things spying on Kisaki. Like how he never locks his window at night, giving Hanma the freedom to sneak in and out of his room. The scarred boy felt like Christmas came earlier the day he discovered that, a maniacal grin under his mask.

He also learned that Kisaki was panicking after the stunt that Baji pulled on him. Haruchiyo loves knowing that Baji left such a big mark, a force of nature until the very end. But that's not all, Kisaki is scared. He doesn't want to deal with another one of Mikey's childhood friends wreaking havoc on his plans. So, apparently, Sanzu is next in line.

Not that Sanzu is complaining (at all). It makes his job easier, actually. No need to be worried about collateral damage if he's the target. The only thing he has to do, is discovering how Kisaki is going to try to put him out of the picture. Once he knows, he'll find a way to mess with that plan and kill the bastard. No middle points, he's not going to risk it (Baji is already dead, he can't risk it).

'Maybe his plan is killing me from boredom. And it's working.' He almost laughs out loud with this thought, but Hanma and Kisaki are close now, he has to keep it quite. Shrinking himself further into the shadows of the alley, Sanzu tries to sharpen his hearing.

“You've been talking for ages about how you're going to take down the 5th Division vice-captain, but you still didn't tell me exactly how. C'mon Kisaki, don't be mean, you know my curiosity is piqued!”

Hanma speaks so loud that it's quite easy to hear, always acting like he was on a theater. Unfortunately, the other boy is more cautious, so he's unable to grasp everything.

“...Toman's traitor. He'll be the key... he should arrive in a few minutes. Be a good pawn and stop whining.”

The taller boy grins at that, but Sanzu is not really paying attention to their weird dynamic anymore, his efforts are finally paying off. And it's better than he imagined, he's going to be able to uncover a traitor in Toman!

If it weren't for the fact that he's being sneaky, Sanzu would jump from excitement right now. Obviously, it would be much better if there wasn't a snake within the gang, but one of the many things he learned from his captain, is that there is always going to be scabs. That's why the task of the 5th Division is to purge them.

So yes, maybe Sanzu shouldn't be this happy about this. 'You definitely shouldn't, are you glad of having to kill someone else?' He ignores his stupid brain, because he knows that's not it. He isn't glad with the idea of having to do that. He doesn't want to become a murderer, he just wants to protect Mikey. And he's willing to pay the cost.

But that's not it. Not all, at least. He's about to find a traitor all on his own, without any type of help (well, with Baji's help to be fair). Haruchiyo is going to prove his value to his captain, he's going to show how useful he can be. He's sure that Mucho will look at him with a delighted smile on his face, that he'll compliment his skills and his hard work.

Yes, that's it. He'll protect Mikey, he'll honor Baji's last will and he'll make his captain proud of him. Mucho will see that he's more than a wild animal that needed to be tamed. His captain will see that he's worthy, he's certain of it. And Haruchiyo will finally be able to believe it, to feel like more than just a nuisance. 'Are you really worthy?' 'Yes, I am. I'm going to be after this.'

The minutes seem to be passing slower until, finally, the three boys catch the sound of someone approaching them. Sanzu makes sure again they can't see him, trying to be one with the darkness that surrounds him. Until the person arrives and he almost stumbles against the wall from the shock. What is his captain doing here? 'Maybe he knows? Maybe he discovered what this two were planning. Yeah, it has to be that!'

He feels a excitement through his body at the idea that they can take Kisaki down together. Like it should be. But something inside his brain is telling him to wait, to evaluate the situation before. 'You say it yourself, you can't risk it. Are you gonna bet Mikey's life on Muto?' Sanzu shakes his head and decides to listen. 'Just in case, right?'

The 5th division captain stamps Kisaki against the wall, fury flowing on his eyes, keeping Hanma away with the other hand.

“What makes you think you have any right to call me here, Kisaki?” The voice is calm but harsh at the same time.

The boy with glasses just laugh and puts his hands up, showing a false submission and calming his lap dog with a gesture.

“Calm down, Muto, I just wanted a few words with you. We have a friend in common, don't we?”

Sanzu ears perk up with this, unsure of what he should think of that. But his captain seems to understand, because he loosens his grip, allowing the bastard to be free.

“Izana.” Muto only grumbles one word, but it's enough for Kisaki to show a satisfied smile on his hideous face.

“I knew we could understand each other. Now that we clear out the issue of your loyalty, there something... Some one, in the middle of the way to crush Mikey like Izana wants, isn't it?”

Muto just clenches his fits, his knuckles getting almost white. But he doesn't deny the words, he doesn't deny that he is... A traitor? 'No, he can't be. No. No' 'Are you sure? He looks like one. Still happy about it?' 'Shut up, he can't be. He can't.'

“Would you kill for Izana, Muto?” Kisaki's voice feels like a poison, rotting away everything Haruchiyo used to know about his captain.

“What do you want exactly? I don't have time for your little games, go to the point.”

“Sanzu. Your vice-captain is too close to Mikey, knows to much. He could jeopardize Izana's plans to isolate Mikey. Sanzu must go, is that simple.”

A fist punches the wall, right next to Kisaki's face. The boy flinches for a second, but keep his composure.

“That simple? No. I know Sanzu, he's loyal to me, he isn't going to do shit without orders.”

The scarred boy wants to laugh at the irony, they both thought they knew each other so well, didn't they? And they were both wrong. So, so wrong.

“Oh, really? Do you think Sanzu would still follow you around once you betray Mikey?” His voice gives off a false sweetness. “After what you saw in that funeral?”

Muto just purses his lips at that, almost like it the first time he has to confront this fact. That he can't have everything.

“I see you understand now. Don't worry, I'm merciful, I'll let you a few days to think about it.”

This are the last words that Haruchiyo is able to comprehend, his mind, his whole world, seems to be spinning out of control. He tries to stabilize his own body leaning against the wall, feeling too dizzy, ends up slipping to the ground. He's shaking, not realizing how much time has passed, but the others are no longer in his sight anymore.

Taking off his mask, he throws up, feeling sick. 'This is too much, this can't be...Mucho... I trusted him.' 'Did you? You kept so many secrets from him, didn't you?' 'Because I promised to Shinichiro, that's different!'

Haruchiyo just wants to scream, to bang his head against the wall, to disappear swallowed by the shadows of the alley. He can't even go back home. 'What home? The one you share with that damn impostor?' But he should, he should pull himself together or he'll compromise his plan.

A pair of dark eyes come to his mind, a reminder of why he's doing all of this. 'Mikey. I can't fail him. He's the only one that matters, Muto can burn in hell.' 'Are you going to be the one sending him there? Can you really do that? After everything he gave you?'

Sanzu steadies his own breathe, trying to focus on his mission, on what he knows it's the right thing to do. He's finally able to start walking, the breeze of the night helping him to come back to reality. 'Yes, I can do it. The only thing he gave me was lies, it means nothing. It never meant anything, anyway.'

He can hear that annoying voice inside his brain laughing at him and oh, he hates it so much, he hates his own brain so fucking much. 'That's it, then? You'll just keep the lies going on, use him to get to Kisaki and kill them both?' 'Yes.' 'And how far will you go with your lies? Are you going to snuggle against him in bed tonight? To ask him for affection like a desperate puppy like you always do?'

He stops on his track at that, unsure of how to handle it, if he'll be able to pretend like this tonight. Maybe he doesn't need to, it wouldn't be the first time that he spends the night out, his captain never asked too much questions before. That's it, he can just sleep in one of his old hidings and think carefully about how to get rid of those two bastards. Face Muto tomorrow, prepare himself before.

'I'm going to use that fucking betrayer to get to Kisaki, they'll regret trying to stab Mikey's back. I'm going to make sure of that.' Sanzu smirks cruelly with this thought, savoring the idea. The punishment. He'll be the one imparting justice in the king's name. And he'll enjoy it, it doesn't matter who receives the penalty. They should've known better. His captain should've known better. 'You should've known better than trust him too.'

When the morning comes, Muto is not in their small apartment. He seems to just left, most of his things aren't there. A shoji board and and old leather jacket that Haruchiyo used to steal from him seem to be the only important possessions his captain left behind. 'Coward, he's a damn coward.'

Sanzu is burning in rage, a renewed feeling of betrayal growing inside of him, staining and corrupting his already broken mind. 'What are you going to do now? You were too weak to face him when you had the chance and he ran away. You failed. Again.' 'No, I didn't, I still know how to get to Kisaki. No more waiting.'

The place feels suffocating without Muto's calm presence, but it doesn't matter, he knows exactly what he needs to take from his own room.

In the middle of the night, a silent shadow climbs until he's manages to sneak through the unlocked window. Stepping inside, he waits until his eyes get used to the darkness of the room.

“Hanma?” A sleepy voice asks with a not-so-subtle insecurity lingering in it.

“Wrong answer, fucker.” Sanzu snickers, before slamming Kisaki's head with the hilt of his katana, knocking the boy unconscious.

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