He’ll only be an hour away, Gun reminds himself.
Tinn is hugging his mom now, bag on the tile ground, ready to depart the station. Gun traces the lines of his back hoping to burn them into his brain. He sees the loop on Tinn’s shirt and mentally hooks a finger in it, projecting a fantasy where he pulls Tinn close and whispers, stay stay stay and Tinn does.
He has to let him get on the train, though. Even though Gun himself, will be departing tomorrow for his own academic journey, University starts for Tinn this week. He quickly scans Tinn up and down, memorizing the general shape and as many details of his boyfriend that Gun has been intimately acquainted with; the hairs on his neck, the curve of his face, his long legs. If he closes his eyes he can still see the outline. He thinks back to the last few months they just shared, the quiet moments laying wrapped up next to each other in bed, bodies pressed close, lips just whispers away. He compares it to the sound of Tinn’s voice over a phone call an hour away and shrinks. He feels a deep grey sadness creep into his chest, unshed tears pulling at the corners of his eyes.
Tinn steps back from his mother as she brushes a wetness from her cheeks with the back of her hand, a soft fond smile on her lips. Tinn gives his dad a short but firm hug. He backs away and rests a reassuring hand on his mothers arm, fresh tears falling on her face, a quick “good luck, I love you, don’t forget to call” tumbling past her smile.
Then Tinn turns to Gun and he’s not ready.
Gun reflexively squeezes his eyes shut as he pinches his nose with his thumb and index finger, a silly technique he’s used a lot this week when thinking about this moment. It works…sometimes. He’s not sure he’s doing it to prevent crying or to avoid seeing his boyfriend’s face for the last time. He’s been so strong about this the past few days. He didn’t want to cry but as Tinn draws closer to him the possibility of Gun breaking here, now on the platform, feels inevitable.
As though he read his mind, the edges of Tinn’s mouth quirk upward in a small melancholy smile meant only for Gun.
“Gun,” Tinn says, incredibly fond. He reaches up and gently pulls Gun’s hand away from it’s position on his nose. Gun finally looks up to meet Tinn’s gaze, keeping their hands locked together. He’s not letting go, he doesn’t ever want to let go.
The rest of his boyfriend’s handsome face goes wobbly and blurred as Gun’s eyes well up and spill over. He’s going to miss Tinn so much.
Gun reaches for Tinn’s other hand and Tinn takes it willingly.
“Hey, hey. I’m only going to be an hour away, okay? And I’m going to visit you in two weeks, remember?”
The tears keep coming, fresh new ones falling with every word Tinn says, the ache throbbing in Gun’s chest.
He pulls Tinn into a hug, wrapping both arms tightly around the other boys body, holding, holding, holding him in his arms for as long as he still can.
He squints and sniffs into Tinn’s shoulder. “I love you, Tinn.”
He’s said it a hundred times these past few months, but it carries all his worry, heartbreak and sadness now.
Tinn pulls away too soon, but keeps his eyes fixed on Gun’s. He cups Gun’s shining tear-striped face in his palms, and Gun realizes Tinn’s chest is heaving; his eyelashes and cheeks are freshly painted in tears, his big brown eyes turn red.
Tinn thumbs careful circles in Gun’s cheeks, “I love you so much.”
Tinn pulls Gun’s face towards his own slowly. Softly, their lips slot together. Gun tastes the saltiness of Tinn’s tears mixing with his own and closes his eyes to savor and commit it all to memory. It’s wet and fond and all so incredibly soft and a smidge embarrassing because Tinn is kissing him here, in front of his parents but Gun doesn’t really care because he needed this goodbye. He needed Tinn’s firm hands and warm lips to ground him and remind him that they will see each other again. For now, Gun floats in this tiny chunk of time made just for them.
His face relaxes into Tinn’s grasp and he delicately grabs Tinn’s waist and pulls their hips a little closer together. Gun moves his head to the side and kisses Tinn back, dizzy and lost in the the push and pull of Tinn’s lips against his own.
It’s too early, too difficult to break away, but after several lingering seconds (neither one wanting to pull away from the other), Gun breaks the kiss.
Tinn keeps their foreheads close. Gun sniffles and wipes his nose with the back of his hand.
“I’ll see you in two weeks,” Tinn states and a smile glows on his boyfriend’s mouth.
Gun smiles back and lilts, “You should go, don’t miss your train.”
“Yeah,” Tinn sniffles and wipes away spots where old tears are drying. “Yeah. Okay. Two weeks.”
Tinn pulls Gun close for a second, too brief time and it’s Gun who pushes them apart, afraid Tinn will actually miss his train if don’t let go of one another.
He doesn’t let go of Tinn’s hand until Tinn is walking away from him to pick up his bag and Gun moves closer to Tinn’s mom and dad instinctively, watching.
Tinn’s parents call a last “Bye, son! Text me when you get there,” and Gun takes a deep breath, noticing it’s easier to crack a smile now.
Tinn “goodbye’s” and darts his eyes between his three favorite people, his gaze lingering on Gun’s face. He walks backward for as long as he can before he turns, disappearing from sight completely into the station.
When he is long out of sight, Gun squints his eyes one last time and sees his boyfriend’s tall outline in the front of his mind.
It’s only two weeks, Gun reminds himself.
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