#or accept help

[corvigae]

I keep having to tear down extremely predatory/misleading Scien.tology flyers in my school's art building. This is the third fucking time I've ripped the fuckers up and I'm getting Real Fucking Tired of it.

#they're masquerading as a mental helth help line it's disgusting #the ONLY clue that it's a fucking cult is the tiny print that says 'copyright hubbard dianetics' #personal grumblings #i'm fucking graduating i don't give a fuck abt appearing nice or accepting #i see those fuckers i shred then

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ruubesz-draws]

He's a little confused, but he got the spirit!

(He's trying his best, leave him alone!)

#godzilla #godzilla x kong: the new empire #godzilla minus one #shin godzilla #godzilla ultima #godzilla earth #math problems #ugh I feel you Shin #don't @ him ya'll #he's trying his best #and technically he's not entirely incorrect #like ehat Earth said: #i guess #thos other Gojis being bros #tryna help Shin lol #-1 is amused lmao #Earth just accepts it lol #do not repost #my art #also... Anguirus was here!

[ew-selfish-art]

Dpxdc AU: Damian decides that it’s time to go collect his brother from his assignment. Danny is starting to sniff out some non-ghostly bullshit for once.

Damian knew his twin had been exiled from the age of seven, banished to travel and observe how scientists around the world engaged with Lazarus water. The only word that Damian received that his spare was still alive were the letters of lab reports and findings that were sent back to base. As the Heir, he’s pushed to be better lest he himself be exiled or simply executed. Danny becomes a fleeting thought and then once Damian arrived in Gotham, a none existent thought.

They weren’t raised to be friends or even friendly. The were not taught codependency or allotted time to bond. The could have been perfect strangers if not for their appearance and the stories of Danny’s shortcomings becoming Damian’s praise.

It’s only once Tim informs him of an intercepted letter, one sent and saved from years prior, that Damian recalls Danny enough to care. Tim prompts him to share more, especially given the coup recently committed by Deathstroke (Slade) and Talia gone into hiding with her zealots.

At family dinner that night Damian supplies: “I suppose I should be the one to bereave my twin of his assignment. His reports will certainly go unread.”

Chaos in the Batfam ensues- meanwhile across the country- Danny sneezes and finishes writing his yearly report: “No major discoveries aside from public record patents (attached), No assistance required. -Spare”. He doesn’t know why he bothers, he hasn’t received any contact from his mother or grandfather since he was 10ish and certainly hasnt thought about his twin. But, if there’s a chance (even an itty bitty one) that his reports are being read and are holding off his reassignment, he’d rather keep assassins out of Amity Park.

Little does he know that this letter is about to be intercepted by Pru, former assassin and friend of Tim Drake. He hadn’t expected his twin to suddenly arrive and tell him that his job was done. And certainly, seeing a plane filled with an uncomfortable looking ‘family’ that requested he join them and get to know Gotham and his birth father, was not on his bingo list.

Danny does his best to let them down gently- and they seem to be accepting that he’s acclimated to this weird little town and will leave him be- when Danny suddenly has to transform into Phantom in front of them to handle a rocket sent by Skulker.

They are less willing to accept his appeal to be left alone after that… Damian is trying to “bond” with him and all the others are trying to “help” in their own way.

Sam and Tucker howl with laughter at Danny’s suddenly very large family- all while secretly working with the Wayne’s to get Danny the fuck away from the Fentons before the scientists do something they can’t undo.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc #dc crossover #dp crossover #damian wayne #danny and damian are twins #ehehehe #so many ways for Damian to ‘bond’ with Danny #so many ways for the Wayne’s to try and ‘help’ danny #danny wants to be left alone but Sam and Tucker are excellent double agents #suddenly it’s like the Wayne’s know his favorites and least favorites and for whatever reason #demon twin AU #Danny: I don’t know y’all like that #danny is the wet cat that refuses to accept love until all of a sudden he’s a domestic house cat that gets fed @ the hour & not a min later

[everysongineverykey]

good omens the book, 1990: see, queen is so ubiquitous in london these days that if you leave a tape in a car for too long, it'll inevitably morph into a best of queen tape. which is why their megahits are playing in crowley's bentley all the time! isn't that a funny and topical joke?

good omens the show, 2019-2023: yeah crowley's car has a hands-free call system and also only plays cassette tapes. yeah it's whatever don't think about it. what's an incredibly earnest and passionate queen love song we can play during this scene where crowley tries urgently to reach aziraphale

#good omens #this is so funny to me. they have it's a hard life in s1e1 when he's trying to call aziraphale about armageddon #you're my best friend in s1e5 when he's racing to the bookshop to see him #good old-fashioned loverboy in s2e1 when he's racing to the bookshop to help aziraphale stay safe while hiding gabriel. #in the 90s it would've been a joke about how everywhere queen was. today it's just like. this gay loser's car knows about his crush #and deliberately plays cheesy classic love songs when he's going to see him to bug him about it #and he's just accepted it into his life. i love it #AND somebody to love after he's presumed aziraphale's dead! i know that was diegetic but the bentley WOULD. you know it would

[zivazivc]

this came to me in a dream

Floyd's emo ass and a techno troll could make scene kids...! Do you see my vision??? . . . Ravin is Happy Hardcore and Eddy M is Synth-Pop, that's how troll genetics work, right?

anyway...

i don't think floyd leads a proud life

#this is meant as crack but you know he booked from there like no tomorrow #just being honest #trolls #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls floyd #techno trolls #my art #trolls oc #ravin #eddy m #someone pat me on the back because of the names #scene #scenecore #the only acceptable way for scene trolls to be conceived is with the help of drugs lmao #i completely redid ravin's hair like 4 times to get it right... #anyway #you can't convince me that floyd left to go peruse a solo career at the age of what 13? and didn't get at least a little fucked up #you can't tell me a kid musician traveling alone with his gay little earring wouldn't attract people with bad intentions #anyway. #eye strain #neon colors #happy hardcore #S3RL #synth-pop #Breathe Carolina #i feel like i should tag this mpreg... but i don't wanna #ex bandmates

[mitathemita]

the shining sun!! ☀️

#yippie !!! #im mostly doing these for practice but they are so fun like? lookit him hehe #i must do moon next! my boy!! #also!! if you have any pictures of their models…. i would very much like to borrow them please #for reference #i have like. over 80 rn but… i need MORE #anyway!! #fnaf #my art #mita doodles #fnaf sb #fnaf help wanted 2 #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #fnaf sun #sundrop #as i was writing these tags i got my acceptance letter email?? (hooray)

[rose-colored-lottie]

Paramore being the first female fronted band to win best rock album at the Grammy’s.

Hayley Williams being the first frontwoman to win best rock album at the Grammy’s.

After all the misogyny she went through. After being blamed for every little thing that ever went wrong in the band. Painted as the villain by her ex (homophobic) bandmates. Being called a bitch because she dared to be a strong woman who would voice her opinions. Being called a slut for the horrible crime of dating three whole people in 35 years of life.

Hayley Williams, three time Grammy winner, deserves all the respect in the world. She is a music icon and legend. And she’s still getting better.

#hayley williams #paramore #sending her vibes through the universe to tell her how much she means to me #after laughter is an album that helps me when I’m at my lowest #will forever be grateful for her lyrics #will forever be grateful for her love and acceptance to the lgbtqia+ community #give her her flowers

[cintipede]

starting the year strong with safehouse jonmartin

#jons helping martin dry his hair fresh out from the lonely btw #my art #tma #the magnus archives #magnuspod #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jonmartin #fanart #will just have to accept that tumblr mobile image quality. </3

[nelkcats]

Dead Language Expert

Danny never thought that he could "major" in languages, and get a job as a translator. But apparently knowing all the dead languages ​​by default and being able to time travel with the help of your ghost tutor was pretty useful outside of Amity.

It happened purely by chance, he was walking through a museum and started laughing because of a mistake in one of the sentences that completely changed the meaning of the text. The museum manager, of course, did not believe him, since many people had said that the piece was "impossible to translate". But he study it anyway.

Days later they were looking for him to translate all the things from that time. And he just carried on with it, in many more civilizations. In some cases he even asked for a few trips to the past to Clockwork to verify.

It got to a point where the wizards, heroes and villains over the world knew him as "the translator of dead languages" and some of them even tried to kidnap him to perform a summoning ritual. Danny rolled his eyes and easily freed himself, but the League assigned him an "escort" anyway.

Exasperated, the halfa escaped from his escorts and continued his work as normal. Superman almost fell out of his chair at the Watchtower meeting when he was informed that the boy had translated the language of Krypton and other missing planets. Besides having managed to lose both the Flash and Green Latern, what the fuck?

#dpxdc #Danny know all dead languages by default #is part of being a ghost #or part of being him #he's not sure #The museum manager asked him to translate and he accepted #he didn't expect the payment but it was good #so he ended working in translating #it was easy and he could time travel if he had any doubt #dp x dc #dc x dp #Justice League is worried about his knowledge #but he didn't do anything wrong #Danny is considering teaching at a university for fun #People think Danny is human and he didn't correct them #He also asked Clockwork for help so no one would notice his status as a halfa #Danny doesn't like being kidnapped but at this point in his life it's nothing more than a nuisance #while he could fight the summoning he really doesn't want to

[darkeneddawning]

Escaped clone au

You know all those fics where Danny and Damian are twins but everyone first assumes Danny must be a clone? How about an au where Danny is Damian's clone who escaped the League after he was assumed dead. Damian could even have been the one to have "killed" him, back when Danny was a newly created, fully brainwashed clone minion and trying to kill Damian himself.

Danny gets adopted by the Fentons and canon goes on as normal, until Dan. Witnessing what would happen to the world should he turn evil really drove home to Danny how dangerous he is.

Even if he was confident he could be trusted with his absurd amount of power (which he isn't), what if the League of Assassins found out about him? Does he still have programming triggers from his evil assassin clone conditioning?

So, Danny does the responsible thing: he goes to Batman to turn himself in.

Cue Danny showing up on Bruce's doorstep with ghost hunting equipment, intel on the afterlife, and an almost unbelievable backstory. Somehow he still managed to be more well-adjusted than Damian.

More thoughts under the read more

Here's how I'm thinking Danny leaving the League went down:

After surviving his wounds but failing his mission, Danny (then an unnamed potential Damian replacement) knew there was no point in returning to the League. As a failure, he was meant to be disposed of. He even thought of simply allowing himself to perish, since that was what the League would do.

But he couldn't help but feel as though that would be a waste of a resource. Surely he could be of more use to the League alive than dead?

That tiny bit of rebellious logic is what caused Danny to go into hiding, only living on based on the off chance he would find opportunities to further the League's goals. Obviously, that mentality didn't last long after being exposed to the real world and meeting one Jazz Fenton.

Being adopted by the Fentons was the best cover Danny could have asked for, since any odd behavior he couldn't hide while he was learning how to be "normal" was totally overshadowed by the sheer bizarre eccentricity of his new parents. He was still the neighborhood weird kid, but even that was a major upgrade from disposable tool, so Danny considered it a win.

Anyway, if anyone likes this idea, please feel free to have at it! Interpret it as you please :)

#dpxdc #dpxdc prompts #dawningwrites #Danny: I'm too powerful help please accept this 10 step guide that MIGHT give you a prayer of defeating me #Bruce: and you're saying that on top of all your potentially apocalyptic abilities you're also the ruler of another dimension?? #Danny: I know right?? they wouldn't listen to me when I said a teenager wasn't qualified. and technically I'm only 5 years old! #Danny's better adjusted than Damian bc he had Jazz to help him #and he didn't have to be anything other than a “normal” teen until his accident #whereas Damian had a bunch of traumatized and emotionally stunted vigilantes with a complicated family dynamic he walked into #Alfred did his best but there was only so much he could do without undermining Bruce or interfering with their vigilantism #Dan happened before Dani so she might not be in this (yet) #but if Danny's clones are still a thing I think he'd be even more traumatized by most of them melting #Dani: you don't know what it's like to be made by a rich supervillain to replace your original and then be discarded as a failure #Danny: ha ha so funny story #damian wayne #damian al ghul

[ceilidho]

Soap being the handsome, albeit mildly creepy gas station attendant when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. he's so sweet to you though, even if he's a bit touchy - comes running out to help you when he sees you walking down the highway, shirt sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and ushers you into the gas station for a lemonade and air conditioning. doesn't seem to have any concept of personal space, but he's nice enough.

and wouldn't you know it, there's also a garage around back where they can take care of your car. Soap's boss actually runs it - some big masked fucker that goes by Ghost. he doesn't talk much and stares a lot, but the grease painted on his knuckles makes you think that he knows his way around an engine.

thank god your car broke down with two capable men around. you could've broken down near some really unsavoury people.

#hint: soap and ghost are the freaks you shouldn't have accepted help from

[5ftboy]

"I've been afraid all of my life. And you guys are really, really kind. There's no part of you that'll feel like you're just dragging me around?" "[We're] all going to do stuff the others don't like from time to time... But that's what best friends are for. We'll work through whatever we have to."

#dimension 20 #misfits and magic #d20 #d20edit #mismag #brennan lee mulligan #lou wilson #danielle radford #evan kelmp #whitney jammer #sam black #mine ** #i've been rewatching mismag clips and i couldn't Smash the ENTIRE like . 15 minute convo they all had #but these bits made me very :'-o emotional . #smth smth mental health feeling of like . Oh my (in this case literal) demons coming to the surface . #but allowing and accepting ur loved ones to Help u through rough times when they're all here for u !! #1k **

[shardkn1ght]

NEW AU ALERT!!!

This is the Who Rescued Who AU!!!

This is Honey! She is Future Leo’s PTSD dog!

She loves her papa and cheese.

She is an English Bull Terrier and she is a cuddle bug!

Leonardo was sent back in time, and the present boys found him and took him in. Now he’s not fighting Krang he realised how much his body hurt and has knee problems. Also, he has bad PTSD and night terrors. And with Casey not needing Leonardo to look after him anymore, Leonardo feels useless. The boys and Casey noticed and pulled some strings to get him a service dog. At first, Leo didn’t want her or think he needed her. But over time, he came to accept and love her.

Thank you, @gemini-forest ,for helping me make her and for sitting in a call with me while I drew her.

#NEW AU!!! #Who Rescued Who AU #who rescued who shardkn1ght #Honey is a baby #i lobe her #Leo definitely needs help #just has to accept it #rottmnt #save rottmnt #save rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt leo #rise fanart #rise leo #future leo #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt future leonardo #rottmnt future au

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)

#poorly drawn mdzs #better drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art. #It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off. #Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways! #There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough' #only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize - #-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*) #And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans. #The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement. #I really can't describe how grateful I am. #Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out. #Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house. #But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants. #I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry. #Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.