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unproduciblesmackdown · 8 months

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already was musing on how like, here's an intro that's Establishing Things, and it's like, does it matter that we were given a quants interaction of winston being like "hey you were nice to me there, actually. it reminds me of how" only for rian to pull the nice maneuvers of not wanting to listen to him share anything, being willing to just issue an order to someone about what he gets to do (talk for ten seconds) and doing so, then some underwhelming flair used to insult him surely, i guess that he's so stupid(tm) or whatever. like, wondering does that mean anything really that that was just about rian being an asshole, as has been sprinkled in before, just little moments that deadend with winston just feeling Disheartened b/c rian was shitty for no reason. does it mean anything that she did anything for the quant duo before that in refusing a chance to not sit next to him. theoretically just a [we're still tmc] kind of choice to stick together, and sure didn't move her to even treat him like a person she dislikes, just a nonperson she also dislikes

and relatedly it's going to be just as hilarious as rian, what, implying winston hasn't heard / of the french language, that the theory that rian and dollar bill become some kind of duo based on being Hilarious(tm) but also just terrible to any & everyone and bullying people has only more plausible, And that this episode of billions' introduction / establishment of dollar bill is decidedly centered around "yeah nobody likes this guy or can stand to deal with him. not even the people paid to be there, not even the self-declared Too Nice guy who kept choosing hanging out with dollar bill & his bullying over working & hanging out with his friend taylor" so it sure doesn't seem like that's leaving much room for [oh that was an oversight] if dollar bills going to fuck off into mpc hq on the regular and rian's immediately going to be like of course i can roll with this fuckin asshole

and truly a distillation of "rian's supposedly gets the 'good' treatment of More Material & being taken more seriously by other characters, but this only meant that instead of any sense of character &/or her own actual subplots ever, she's whatever a different more prominent character needs for their plot at any given time; winston's peripheral funny little guy unimportance & insulting treatment is still so much better re: being a character" if winston gets the worst treatment of being shoved out of mpc by episode three and rian is graced with hanging around most or all season only to be judged & condemned to now have that loss of [quant duo] replaced with being insufferable bullying horrible person dollar bill's New Friend and like, right away, with ease. and like i was saying like i would not argue with that, if rian had the consistent principle of treating anyone with basic respect she wouldn't be treating winston as a nonperson, and of course she has a broader capacity for being an asshole to anyone at any point that's just drier and less [outbursts of physical aggression] than dollar bill's style.

no idea what rian's overall arcs could be when yknow, why is she here, why has she stayed here, her most relevance right now gets to be "has the dialogue capacity to talk about getting prince with a sex scandal. also has zero thoughts on how power factors into one rather than that you just need to be polite about it?" which only feels truly character specific when held up against "rian was supposedly bullied but also Above even hating the people who did it. but she is also a bully and not even especially emotionally detached about it, even though how she treats winston is more important than how she feels about it" like basically "also a bully" is her most coherent deal. and it's just Interesting that simply being mean to winston is again basically pointed out, and her future bestie or [put in the same shots duo status] dollar bill is Impending but the episode was like "yeah of course everyone hates this guy, for being awful" and the joke nonjoke the whole time that unfortunately rian might get along just fine with bill as workplace (and probably also life in general, it's not a honed strategy they limit to the office) bullies

so that That's what rian gets for getting to stick around, while winston Might get to be shoved out of the fund hq with any character flair from him and, i do unfortunately have to wonder harder now, maybe any relevance afforded to the way people have treated him, indeed maybe rian especially, his personal bully and abusive friend. and because other people also see rian as better than him & maybe also winston as [not a person], if winston does anything that's indeed deliberately petty, mean, Angry, etc, towards rian, That will be seen as unacceptable vs the yknow checks notes years of cruel interpersonal treatment from rian to winston, but nothing hangs in the balance on that front, people won't suddenly be like "nice. winston's a person to me now, which, why am i even in a position to Decide that" if he's shoved out & goes quietly & politely and creates no problems in return. and, very much like dollar bill, i don't think rian will change, but for winston's own sake it would be Heartening if he voices his experience such that we know he knows it was bullshit, even though of course rian, and probably anyone else, isn't going to choose to listen past 5 seconds, least of all when he's clearly indicating a general state of irritation. rooting for flair and idiosyncrasy for him and indeed that the best sources for that could be with taylor, please, the person he's always been here for, rian, the person for years now bullying him more than she does anyone else or more than anyone else does to winston, and even fun if there's anything with tuk his apparent genuine friend tuk, and by "fun" i mean "such a delight i daren't really think much abt it From Canon"

anyways the tl;dr i suppose is that winston getting apparently thrown away in the first third of the season is insulting treatment but rian getting to stay and be dollar bill's wretched bestie is truly the worse fate and basically that distillation of like. oh winston's bringing it on himself he's so annoying nobody likes him, while in actuality all the ways he's never fit in or done things "right" and how he would never have been hired if taylor hadn't done it are all compliments and endorsements. while rian's been viewed as a capable valuable person by all from the start and treated as Better Than even others who are still also seen people, but her "success" and the shit she gets to continue to do in how she treats people b/c nothing about being at work stops that and some things facilitate & reward it, see: also dollar bill being around the whole time & now also back, definitely include treating a friendly coworker any which way, which she usually chooses to be: badly. and of course shoutout to the thread of taylor being like "if you stay btw you'll probably get all fucked up" but like also rian just Brought the [i'm a bully but it's fine when i do it. it's bad when it happens to Me] stance from the start, but like, obviously always the opportunity to get worse and just be left off with that implication of Never Trying To Learn, just like your new good friend dollar bill

real tl;dr As Fates Go winston being shitted on & fired / driven to quit >>>>>>>> rian sticking around, befriending dollar bill. and like not in the way i'm arguing that the fate is worse like In Conceptual Quality. it's just a hell of a potential condemnation / indirect illustration of like, here's this person it's horrible to be around, here's a reminder rian is cruel to this coworker on a dime anytime, here's rian deciding the horrible person is Alright anyways. maybe they'll be busy with a bullying power struggle the whole time. and maybe winston will get to appear outside the fund actually. just really something to be going like "oh my god lmao rian and dollar bill might actually be specifically getting along well as fellow [be horrible to coworkers] bullies and assholes who feel Above It, it being many other people, this being a kind of requirement there" and to be wondering if billions will make this fact that rian's job is being an asshole more relevant at all, if even to be like yeah leaving off with a lost cause here, including that i really doubt winston can Get Through To her even with his ability & willingness to air his grievances, and like, as though oh actually winston brought it upon himself b/c rian just didn't knowww, that's on him and his visible pain & verbal expressions of that pain & requests that she stop which Weren't Enough, and as though maintaining that onesided dynamic for bullying and demeaning and shutting down and abusing was like an unconscious accidental coincidence every time and not its own Active Process, regardless of what the other person does or doesn't do, and with the agenda of maintaining that [i'm the person who chooses how things go; they're the object that reacts accordingly like it's laws of physics level of demands of reality] one-sided relationship, so they'd only just be looking to react to what that other person does or doesn't do in ways that serve those purposes anyway. sometimes rian's "nicer" but she's still the one deciding how everything goes, winston can only roll with it like a ball at the top of a ramp like, of course, unquestionable. cue space winston, zero gravity

haha another tl;dr. winston being disposed of is a warmer Fate to assign a character than rian's potential "of course she's friends with dollar bill now" like lmfao Ouch. but yeah of course.

#one wrench in things is no idea if [winston :/ing at rian hugging taylor out in the open] will play into anything #didn't seem to affect him now and if it was absolute Need To Know we might've been reminded. but it's billions; no guarantees #and similarly; whatever bullshit gets him shoved out &/or leaving on his own is bound to be unguessable #already dealing with tmc problems; being on on the floor; not much taylor time; though their being Away is new / unknown #winston billions #rian could've at least been nonbinary. but they can't be like no NO rian is not [still Questioning] [and in part thus still closeted too]#winston quant billions sees his new nonbinary person he wants to impress & will be penciling in [swoon about it] immediately #at least with taylor he's just largely had to deal with that distance / lack of access already in general #re: rian it's like yeah here's your new devoted bully to sit next to you who Doesn't actually want you to Never talk to her #b/c he has to have hopes to be dashed & speak up to be made to shut up & be more Available in general than if he Avoided her in general #iconic to take your autistic bestie's interest & hang out to engage w/them abt it until you lash out at them over it for chatting abt it #[rian calls winston a slur] is truly there in spirit even if it doesn't manifest #or that the difference in her & dollar bill is in just variations in affect & specific strategies. not in spirit #like she might do the office: you don't call [rworded] ppl [rwords]. it's bad taste. you call your friends [''s] when they're acting [''ed]#but that's also in a world where it's an episode abt everyone hatecriming winston for being himself Out as autistic #and idk if rian would refer to winston as a friend. she would if it kept him strung along with that hope on his end anyways but #5x05 through 5x07 riawin really had so much potential but it's being realized in taylip #and itself became ''yeah rian could get along fine with dollar bill'' b/c she won't regard winston as a person #true of many other people but they want to ignore him most of the time vs use him as a chew toy so

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princesssszzzz · 1 year

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I don't think they'd sacrifice Rhaenys or Jace's deaths just to give Daemon a villain moment though. Those characters die in very dramatic ways; in Rhaenys' case her death is practically half the characterisation we are given about her in the book and the only thing she gets to do in the war. If they want Daemon to do something terrible then he could be responsible for blood and cheese.

Before the show came out I would agree. After S1, they maybe would be willing to do that but who knows. I think Condal really wants to smack people over the head to show he’s a bad guy because he’s always getting defended. He was so annoyed by the reaction to the finale he might just add something crazy just to spite black stans. I don't have strong opinions about Daemon so I don’t care who he kills generally, I could just see why they would want him to kill Jace and have Jace's death be like the red wedding and he’s taken out by his own team member. They messed up by keeping Laenor alive bc at this point Daemon hasn’t done anything to show he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. It’s all talk with him so far. He’s also been written as a solider for team black’s cause instead of his own. I don’t think Rhaenyra and Daemon want the same thing but as of right now they can benefit working together. He’s gonna kill greens and his emotions about his brother’s death will die down but the rest of the dance there’s no way his entire story is just wanting to kill Aemond. I think GRRM names him Rouge Prince because he’s supposed to go rouge instead of being a loyal soldier, especially for someone else’s kid to be king. If Ryan and Sara just want people to hate Daemon and not root for him, killing Jace would mean more than greens. He’s killing characters like Vaemond, random servant dude, Aegon’s kid no one really cares about them or will remember them by the time the show ends (the general audience it’s only the fandom that goes hard for fictional deaths) I really just see Alicent’s line dying off as a side quest for Daemon he hates them so much 😂😂 but the real mission here and importance is House Targaryen, the bloodline, and dragons and Jace gets in the way of that.

Aegon’s son dying is less about Daemon and more about Aegon’s motivations. That’s even the same for House Velaryon because they’re starting off with saying yeah we don’t care about Harwin’s sons being here but of course we’ll end off with a real Velaryon taking over Driftmark. I hope Rhaenys is done justice they already fucked her over 🙏 Anon if your team black brace yourself because the showrunners don’t like Daemon

#don’t fuck Rhaenys’ death #Ryan Condal wants evil Daemon #her and Daemon will have lots of beef in S2 #but yeah I think her death will stay the same #idk about Sara Hess though she just says crazy things in general #she’ll write just about anything regarding Daemon #hotd asks

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emletish-fish · 2 years

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Frankly, I feel Amanda should've been way more conflicted about helping Tory. Like, she should be like, "Yes, these kids deserve better influences, but on the other hand, Tory here twice committed premeditated assault on my daughter and she's broken into our house".

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

It's a YMMV with the how people see the Mom-Triangle. If you found it unsatisfying, that's valid.

I also think the reason why everyone's mileage varies so much with the mom triangle will depend on whether people have a solution based outlook (what will solve the problem/get the best outcome is the priority) or a more punitive punishment orientated outlook (has the wrong-doer being punished sufficiently is the priority).

I unironically love it as a storyline. It was refreshing for me to see a female-centric storyline that was in many ways kinda removed from the karate drama and was instead focused on the relationships between women, and the role of a good female mentor/mother figure.

(I'm trying not to make too many predictions for season 5 aside from 'it will be batshit insane' BUT I think we will see Tory torn between two very opposing view-points, role-models and example of womanhood between Amanda and her new female sensei, (who in many ways will embody a potential cobra-kai embracing future that the old Tory would have aspired to. Whereas Amanda is presenting a much more compassionate example of adult womanhood and shows Tory that it is possible to be both powerful and peaceful).

I do think Amanda showed sufficient ambivalence towards Tory and some uncertainty about helping her during their second interaction at the dealership. It's implied that Amanda backed off helping Tory then and only resumed to do so after the girl approached her. During their third interaction, she is careful to give Tory space and only encourages her to seek help but makes no overtures of direct involvement until Tory asks.

I think, given the time-constraints, more time on Amanda not wanting to help Tory wouldn't have served much purpose.

Season 4 was an immensely crowded season, story-telling wise. With such limited time, I don't quite see what having Amanda pile on the Tory-sucks-train beyond their first two interactions would serve.

Because TV is a visual medium - so we already know that Tory has severe anger issues. We've seen her do unhinged things. We know that Tory is an angry and messed up kid in a terrible situation - so Amanda spending more time complaining about her misdeeds only be re-hashing what we already know, which isn't the best use of screen time.

Also, in the storyline, if Tory didn’t receive any help, there would be absolutely no driving narrative force for her changing her behaviour for the better. Without Amanda;s intervention, then Tory would most likely continue feeling like the entire world was out to get her and lashing out accordingly.

Amanda meets Tory when she directly confronts her at work, taking full advantage of their power-imbalance and contributing to Tory getting fired. Yes - Tory gets herself fired by her angry outburst, (Tory having anger issues is well established), but Amanda can see she had a role to play in lighting the dynamite and feels contrition.

Amanda can choose to continue being shitty to a girl who already has an immensely hard life (that Amanda just made a whole lot harder) - but what would that ultimately serve the narrative? Seeing another adult bullying Tory/assert their power over her wasn't necessary for me. It's not something I would have found satisfying as a viewer.

We've already see Tory be sexually harrassed, propositioned and financially bullied by her landlord, fired without ceremony by her boss, and mocked cruelly about her dying mother by her aunt (her only living blood relation). We know money is extremely tight, her father is absent and her family had periods where they were starving and had food denied to them by cruel bosses (who also then fired her sick mother). It's implied she was sexually assaulted by an unknown adult male and had to physically defend herself.

(like enough already.)

As a viewer, I did not need to see another Adult mistreat Tory.

Tory has definitely made A LOT of mistakes. So Many. All the Mistakes. But when we look at her life, it's not hard to see why she's gained a 'It's a dog-eat-dog world' kind of cynicism and a layer of anger armour as she goes through life.

I actually think this direction, showing that Amanda also had violent anger issues but was able to work through them, is a much more positive one. Amanda is showing Tory here are other options aside from violence and compassion isn't weakness. She treats Tory gently, and considering how harsh Tory's life is, just being treated kindly by an adult without ulterior motive causes a huge change.

Tory's outlook completely shifts from 'No Mercy - there are no rules' to 'No. I won't cheat to win.'

What we didn't know at the start of the season is that Amanda had a rich history of Violent Teenage Rage and could see part of herself reflected in Tory's anger issues. Amanda identifies with Tory as a result. And she knew from experience the best way to break a pattern of violence and anger is with its opposite, kindness and understanding.

Rather than fighting fire with fire, Amanda chooses to try and take the heat down a notch.

Young!Amanda was treated with compassion and guidance, so she was able to grow past her anger. She's still feisty and assertive, but her rage no longer consumes or controls her.

Tory does not have anyone to show her this kind of compassion and guidance until Amanda comes along.

(For Tory to be redeemed, and any sort of reconciliation to happen, she needs to learn to be empathetic to those she's hurt, and she needs to be shown acknowledging why her prior behavior was wrong)

I don't think Tory needs to reconcile with Sam to be redeemed. Tory's attempts at being a better person should continue whether or not Sam eventually forgives her.

It would be great if the girls can eventually bury the hatchet, and Tory definitely should apologise to Sam at the very least - but I also don't think her 'redemption' should revolve around Sam.

You've said that Tory needs to learn empathy, but for me, considering absolutely no one in her life treats Tory with any sort of empathy, this will be a hard thing for her to learn on her own without any kind of lived experience or role models.

(This is not a dig at Tory's mom, who we've never even seen, but her illness has thrust the full weight of keeping a family of 3 running on her 16/17 year old daughter. Tory is responsible for earning rent money, preparing food, paying bills and supervising her brother. No matter how warm and loving their relationship, the physical reality of Tory's situation is unchanged).

But who else could teach Tory about morals and ethics and how to make amends and live a better life? Kreese? Her creepy and inappropriately sexual landlord? Her spiteful, greedy addicted aunt?

I will say that Tory suffers from very uneven writing, depending on what the writers want to do with her in that particular scene (eg her yoyo-ing concern about her family is very dependant on her proximity to Sam), and this can hurt her character arcs as she engages in some inexplicable dramatics for the sake of The Dramas!

However, showing that Tory will respond equally as emphatically to a positive role model in Amanda as she did to a negative role model in Kreese, is actually a really interesting step. Tory has an incredible amount of respect for Amanda and really takes onboard everything she says.

She isn't immediately a better person and she still makes bad choices, but overall, she shows that she is extremely receptive to Amanda and is beginning to absorb her world-view.

Learning the importance of conducting herself honourably in a fight was something Tory clearly learned from Amanda, (not Kreese or Silver). Amanda wanted BOTH girls to be able to move on and find peace and they were never going to be able to do that if Tory cheated (something she was later pressured directly to do by the other adult she respects the most).

It was easier for Tory to believe in the importance of fairness when she finally had a taste for it herself, when she wasn't broke and overburdened by the weight of caring for her family, when she didn't feel like there were no rules in life. Amanda helping her was instrumental in Tory growing. Finally getting a bit of sunlight helped her bloom.

Tory's life has been very unfair, and she's a poverty stricken and vulnerable young woman who easily embraced a 'no mercy' mindset because that was how she had always been treated, so this worldview slotted neatly into her lived experience.

Amanda showing her mercy caused her to re-evaluate her deeply held convictions. Tory's actions in the final prove that, at her core, Tory does want to be a better person and live a better life.

#Emletish Answers #Cobra Kai meta #Tory Nichols #Amanda LArusso #Sam Larusso #The mom-triangle #Do I think the mom triangle was perfect?#no there were definitely some messy bits #but in general it was such a suprising and optimistic and refreshing storyline #so I forgive it all the foibles because the overall arc is great #like tory has fucked up a lot #but she has also being shat on completely by life from every angle #how is she ever going to learn compassion if no one ever shows her any #how is going to learn about justice and mercy and honour if she never experiences it for herself directly #her behaviour towards sam is off the charts #but more punishment and an even shittier life isn't going to help her learn how to let go of her anger at Sam #which I would argue is more rooted in her resentment of Sam's privilege than anything else #Like Tory's done bad things but Amanda treating her with respect really turned things around for that girl #Tory could definitely benefit from more consistent writing #She has treated Sam absolutely terribly and Sam is completely justified in her unforgiving stance regarding Tory #But Tory is still just a kid in a totally shitty situation with no support #but when she's given love and support she really blossoms #And i just kinda like all the kids and want the best out come for all of them #tory and amanda #tory and sam

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nerdie-faerie · 1 year

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I do think it's funny that the Salvatores are the ones with all the information this season because it's usually the opposite. Despite being around for a century and half they don't actually seem to know anything about the supernatural world

They didn't know werewolves existed, they didn't know about the Originals until Rose (despite their sire being on the run from them), they didn't know about sire lines, they didn't know about the sun and moon curse (this is particularly funny because wolves who'd been around for less time than the Salvatores knew about this), they didn't know about doppelgangers and honestly they don't seem to know a whole lot about Katherine full stop. Damon knew her real name and Stefan knew her birthday but other than that they seem to be missing out on key details about their sire. Stefan didn't even know he was a ripper until Lexi showed up despite Mystic Falls being home to 20+ vampires before this and they don't seem to know much about witches either despite knowing Emily and Damon protecting her bloodline

But this season? Damon is the one that knows about Shane and the Pastor's shady relationship, that Shane also knew Haley, that Shane convinced him to blow up the council, that a Bennett witch was needed to raise Silas and despite sirebonds being rare Damon has past knowledge of those too. Stefan knows about the origin of the five and the daggers. They both learn about expression being worse than dark magic to the point it's not even considered magic and is powered by mass murder, they know about the hunter's curse and potentials and they don't share any of it with the relevant parties!

Like I know the reason that they don't know things is for plot reasons so that they learn as we the audience learns but instead it just comes across as them having been entirely oblivious for the last century and a half. Which is particularly funny when they're the two vampires left in charge of teaching the baby vampires. They don't know shit! Nobody taught them by the sounds of it. Katherine and the MF vampires had otherwise disappeared, Lexi seems to come and go as is relevant to plot and Sage despite being at least 900 years old sticks around for one day to teach them to indulge in the feed before disappearing without further information like damn

#TVD #tvd lb #series 4 #Damon Salvatore #Stefan Salvatore #Salvatore brothers #The Mikaelsons #Katherine Pierce #like generally they dont seem to know anything and yet this season they have all the cards and dont share them with anyone #damon knows shane is manipulating bonnie and even when Shane says 'who do you think shes more likely to trust?' damons response is to say #to bonnie that 'the witch that loses her powers gets left out of the important conversations' further proving shanes point that bonnie cant #trust him instead of coming clean to her and creating that doubt in shane before she learnt about the massacres and was already dependant #on Shane for his help and keeping control. also at that point he knows shes getting her magic back? like i know its cus plec did bonnies #character dirty and constantly kept her out of the narrative despite being pivotal to the story but it doesnt even make sense #i know stefan couldnt tell in the beginning but once its out there theres really no reason for him not to come clean about everything #including express the sirebond and the massacres Stefan admittedly doesnt have quite the monopoly on info that Damon does particularly as #damon doesnt even bother to share what matt learnt about the pastor and Shane despite he himself being accused of causing the explosion #but still the lack of communication as a running theme throughout the show irritates me especially when it regards bonnie as shes the one #that has to pull through to fix everything in the end anyway so she needs that information to do so #but yeah they really are the donna nobles of tvdu in that they seem to have been unaware of everything going on in the supernatural world #for the century and half that theyve been alive

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stillthesunkenstars · 2 years

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Brax’s beef w Jason is just like mother in law shit. I’ve cracked the code

#LIKE IT CHECKS OUT..#like Jason haven’t done really anything #also that brax regards Benny as his family/sister/daughter/bestie #it’s just a mother in law’s general displeasure at everything plus he’s kinda sick in the mind and an ex assassin so it escalates #also in mirror effect when he’s under the influence where he’s like if bennys gonna be w Adrian I’m going to abandon her and brax was like #WOAH you can’t say that what the fuck #that may had left a bad impression #ivq listens to bf #I understand now

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this-is-what-you-think-it-is · 2 years

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future queen

#future bc she can see the future at least a lil #mostly she uses it to know if it'll rain #things that have to do with her she can't see #somewhat big premonitions like the result of a deal make her tired and nauseous #huge premonitions like if someone's gonna die give her a days long migraine when she can't do anything #hence she doesnt peek into the future regarding those things #it just makes her miserable and she really can't change things so #at least its voluntary #her health isnt the best in general she almost died with all 3 kids and endured a lot of loss in between #but shes fine #shes happy with her life #oc stuff #royaltines #im hungry #i usually eat at 4pm but i went to the store at like 5pm and ate a chocolate bar but im still hungry #but i dont want to make real food #smh

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awaiting-my-escape · 2 years

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Oh just in case I'm being scrutinized by someone who really could be doing a million other things that would be actually responsible instead of neurotic, obsessive, and narcissistic, the incorrect label you were looking for was "pretentious", but that's more of that whole projection thing that's textbook for narcissists and is not an accurate label.

Like for real I'm just trying to live my life and grow as a person so when I said I wasn't going to play narcissist's games with people who would rather waste time clowning around trying to "win" rather than also being mature and responsible and growing as people, I meant it. I don't need to dig for receipts, I never had any desire to use them, but even if I did they've not been made hard to access. I do not want to be involved in nonsense and if this were truly a game that I was forced into, I would quit.

If I am forced to continue playing a game which should have never been started, I will release what I have and the outcome will be brutal. Quit while you're ahead. I know it's virtually impossible for me to win a narcissist's game, but I absolutely know how to make everyone lose. Do not force my hand.

#personal #sorry to my good followers #idk why I keep getting tossed into the same BS but while I clearly haven't learned how to avoid it I sure as hell have learned from my past #I make a point to try to be understanding and process my emotions in a way that leads to constructive solutions and avoids anger #and in general it works #but now that I know that I've been being purposely undermined and the boundaries I set were intentionally disregarded?#yeah now I'm mad #I understand how narcissists work I just don't know why #maybe some chronic diet-related nutritional deficiencies coupled with certain addictions led to inadequate fueling of the brain?#still doesn't excuse narcissistic manipulation though #my therapist helped me piece together a lot of this #and I sent her unaltered screenshots so I know I'm not misrepresenting anything on my end #I was just manipulated into not regarding the red flags by a narcissist until their unfounded envy pushed them to attempt sabotage #and it's pointless because that's not going to help them unless they literally derive pleasure from trying to deliberately cause suffering #and at that point you're just being a societal plague #aka a detriment rather than a benefit to the world #do you think that a smart and rational person would choose that?#would someone who wants the world around them to be better opt for that?#if you want to be destructive then just don't get me wrapped up in it.#it's plainly unethical.

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snarltoothed · 1 year

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so. not to just blog about things instead of getting therapy… but i think i may have acquired a bit more trauma regarding exposure to serious illness and death at a young age than i typically tend to consciously acknowledge or consider.

#although… idk i mean i dont think there’s anything to fix that #to witness people waste away from disease is inherently traumatic #to lose a loved one is inherently traumatic.#and i mean it isn’t something that one has to deal with on a daily basis whatsoever #like yeah — i am terrified for when time comes for my mother. for my pets…#but those are normal fears to have regarding aging parents and pets. it is going to hurt when it happens and it is going to happen.#and thankfully my mother outlived her brother and more recently made it past the age her sister got cancer…#so i just count my blessings there that i haven’t had to worry beyond a hypothetical standpoint thus far #my cousins can’t say the same.#but yeah idk. maybe that’s a bit of why i’ve always been a bit of a serious person. i can get silly… but idk.#i have a lot of consideration for the gravity of things generally speaking…

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hellenhighwater · 2 months

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Mildly weird question for story research purposes: when your cats ride on your shoulder, what does it feel like for you?

Context: My main character has a cat who likes to ride around on her shoulder, and since it's a thing that happens frequently, I'm trying to make sure I write about it well. And, unfortunately, I do not have a cat to even attempt to test it with, so I'm going to the one person I KNOW has experience with this situation.

Specific things that would be helpful to know:

Do you have to be careful not to upset their balance, or can you more or less walk normally once they're up there?

How are they keeping themselves up there? Are there claws involved? Or just good balance?

Where's most of their weight? I looked back at some pictures/vids, and it looks like they typically ride with their front paws on the shoulder and their back paws somewhere a bit below and beside your neck, but I could be wrong.

How long can they stay on your shoulder before one of you has to take a break? Is the weight of the cat tiring, or is it pretty easy to deal with?

Anything else I should be aware of regarding shoulder cats?

Thank you SO MUCH for your help!

Oh, I can definitely answer that! One: It's waaay easier to shoulder a small cat than a big one.

For the most part, they kind of drape themselves over the shoulder; this is specifically what I've trained them to do. Cats will also "shoulder" by draping across both shoulders/back of neck, but this forces your head forward to allow room for them, and it's not comfy. Hence the trained posture. (Malice, in the early days:)

I taught Mal to jump up when I bent forward for her, and circle to face front while I stood up. She can actually do that pretty quickly. Their weight is pretty evenly distributed across the top of the shoulder and down on the pectoral, not really on the back at all. Mal sometimes hooks her back claws into my shirt near the shoulderblade, which is more about balance than weight support. Nim, who was significantly smaller, actually kept her back feet tucked up so that her feet were on the top of my shoulder. This is a significantly more ready posture than Mal's--she would have to readjust for a better foothold to jump down; Nim could leap directly off at a moment's notice. Overall, Nim had far superior shouldering skills to Mal. Malice rides like the meatball she is; I'm hoping she'll learn with age. Here's some pictures of Nim:

To give them a stable position, I do keep my back straight and shoulders back; if I have to pick something up, I will crouch down instead of bending over. If I have to bend forwards, I will put my palm up flat so that they can stand with their front paws on it and keep their body on my shoulder. Generally, I can move, walk, and even work normally. I've cooked, painted, done chores, even run. Both hands are free to use, though generally you can't lift the arm the cat is on above a T position. They don't need to use their claws for balance unless I am doing something really active. I do shoulder almost exclusively on my left shoulder, so that my dominant hand is more free.

The weight is not significant--Nim was only about 8 lbs, Mal is about 11, and because there's no grip to maintain them and they're naturally situated on the shoulder, it's easy to carry them for a long time. I used to walk miles with Nim on my shoulder. It's actually more the heat--cats run hot, and it's a lot of fur on your neck and shoulder if it's warm out. Great in the winter, though!

Notable things you might not realize--their head is in front of yours, so you can still see ear positions, what they're looking at, etc. Nim's night vision/hearing/sense of smell was better than mine, so I could tell if we were sneaking on wildlife based on her reactions and responses to things. You can also feel them tense or adjust posture before they jump or try to get down, and you can feel their tail moving. You can also feel if they're growling or purring, even if you can't hear it. If you're used to paying attention to those cues, you'll notice them while just carrying the cat normally too--Nobody could sneak up behind me if I was carrying Nim facing over my shoulder to the back.

They can jump from shoulder height but it's a hard landing. Usually if I want them down, I just kneel with a knee up, or lift a leg flat while standing so they can jump to the top of my leg and then to the ground.

If I was in a fictional setting and traveling with them long term, I would be investing in a really weird piece of leather armor, that goes to the edge of the neck/crest of shoulder, and down past the bottom of the shoulderblade, with little easy-to-grip leather loops or chainmail on the back of the shoulder.

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submalevolentgrace · 1 year

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Hi! I'm very interested in attempting to write a disabled character (not for this blog, I assure, for an book I'm writing) in which the story doesn't fetishize/objectify her prosthetic limb. I'm in many writing circles and have been for a long while, but I've never seen this issue brought to light which I realise is a very important one. I have much to change in my thought process, and thank you for bringing this issue to attention.

I'm curious, and I apologise if this has been asked before, but what sort of design could you see for a functional prosthetic that doesn't go for a plainly aesthetic appearance, or is soully to please others? I do note that you said prosthetics are generally... not that helpful. So is there a way that it could be? Or do you think it would always generally be better to not use a prosthetic, as its mostly for aesthetic purposes, as you said?

I apologise if this ask is too outright or anything, and I don't mean to intrude. Thank you for your time and have a beautiful day!

okay, i want to answer this as in depth as possible, because whenever i talk about having a prosthesis, someone will always tag some variation of "#writing reference" and i do wonder what message they're taking away, and i want to get as much of my experience out as possible to maybe help shape how this is all portrayed in the future. and yeah… this is gonna be one of those rambly smg posts that the expand feature was invented for, so i'll start with the very abridged TL;DR:

if you're writing a character with an upper limb prosthesis; don't. arm amputees are unicorn level rare even compared to leg amputees, and i've never interacted with or even heard of an upper limb amputee that regularly uses a prosthesis, let alone relies on one. fiction has lied to you for the sake of cool aesthetics, don't repeat the cycle. more in depth writing advice including nuance and "but i waaaant to" will follow.

that said, grab your donning parachute and let's get started...

context for everyone involved: i am an upper limb amputee that rants a lot about how prostheses suck, i lost my right hand roughly five years ago at roughly the age of 30 after a very rough decline in health… it was pretty rough. this question is being asked in the context of a previous rant post of mine, and i checked that the ask is about an upper limb prosthesis in particular.

the situation regarding the usefulness of lower limb prostheses is totally different; i am definitely no expert, but by all accounts, prosthetic legs are incredibly useful for many people. getting a good leg can be absolutely life changing and more or less necessary for day to day life for some; mostly because infrastructure and society is just so fucking hostile to wheelchair users. being able to walk - at the cost of pressure sores and rashes and increased residual limb pain - is a preferable option to many people than being unable to fit through a doorway or in a bathroom stall or find out that the key to unlock the only elevator is in the admin office up three flights of stairs (true story).

but upper limb prostheses… see, the thing is, hands are incredibly complex organs that rely on a lot of immediate haptic feedback to work at all. hand dexterity is all about control, you need fine granular movements of the digits yes, but you also need the subtle sensations of pressure and proprioception in order to adjust your movements on the fly. i speak from experience, in the years leading up to the full loss of my hand, i was slowly losing function of it, usually swinging between numbness that made it clumsy at best, or screaming overstimulation from moving it at all resulting in unpredictable spasms… and let me tell you, a half working hand is infuriating to try and deal with. you can never know if you have a good grip on something or if it's slipping because of the wrong amount of pressure, and there's only so many smashed bottles of pickles on the floor before you give up using it all together… so amputation wasn't a great loss there, i had time to adapt.

a prosthetic hand of any kind has all of those issues and more. they're heavy and bulky, the cosmetic faux fingers or gripping claw have crude movement at best, and there's zero feedback (put a pin in this). 100% of the time you're using a prosthetic hand you have to keep your eyes on the grip and visually guesstimate whether or not the thing you're carrying is held tight enough but not too tight, that is if your "heavy duty" prosthesis can even support the weight without the servos disengaging or the wrist attachment socket just busting loose. i dropped a whippersnipper on my foot last week when my socket couldn't take the weight and i think that was the final straw in me desperately trying to prove to myself that there is a single task my prosthesis actually helps with.

this is usually where fully two handed people start talking about bleeding edge DARPA tech, and how we just need to invest more,research more, develop more. better tech, more tech, neural integration, more more more. okay i promise the writing advice is coming! for starters on tech, my experience is already with a mid-to-high end ottobock terminal device: i've got a myoelectric nerve-signal operated proportional control heavy duty greifer; about the only upgrade left for me to get would be a rotating wrist joint if i could coflex. it's not military, it's not "rockclimber that owns a prosthetic company", but it's quality tech. it still fucking sucks. secondly, that high level military tech exists primary for PR purposes so they can say they treat their discarded casualties well, "we can rebuild him, we have the technology" style. every war vet i've read about or heard from that's been gifted that high level tech also abandons it for the same reasons; it's imprecise, there's no feedback (or the haptic interface has to be fully recalibrated every time they put it on), but mostly they're more capable without one.

okay, the transhumanist ableds say (i should know, i used to be one), what if we did more ~research and development~ and got that neural feedback working? then we could have fireproof superhumanly strong robot arms to fix up everyone! here's where i take out that pin we put up before and i tell you that a class of prosthetic arms/hands already exists that has perfect proportional control, fine motor control, and physics perfect pressure feedback piped directly into the patients' existing sensory systems! they're called body-powered prostheses, and they were invented in like the 1600s. you strap a whole bunch of stuff to your arm and shoulders shoulders, and control the operation of the terminal device and elbow through cable tension by flexing your shoulders. they do take a considerable amount of training to operate - though hell i spent 18 months training to use my myo - but based on everything i've read, body-powered prostheses are the best option if you're an upper limb amputee and absolutely need a second hand for some reason.

but they don't look cool and futuristic, and according to my prosthetist, most people give up on using them too. we all give up on our prostheses, no matter the type. my rehab OT was impressed i lasted the 18 months of my training. towards the end, they even asked if the clinic director could drop in to one of my sessions to see my progress; he expressed genuine amazement at me casually using my bulky robot claw to use a brush and dustpan, and made an offhanded (hah) comment about what someone can achieve "if they stick it out to the end", implying it was somewhat of a rarity for me to have done so. several years on, and yesterday i wedged the dustpan between my ankles to sweep up into it, awkward but exponentially less effort than putting my dusty robot arm on. which, by the way, is a whole thing. look up some videos, they're all awful to don. i don't actually know the official technical name of what my clinic calls a "parachute" but it's a bitch to use! have you ever tried to pull back with your arm whilst also pushing it forwards at the same time, and simultaneously lean in to and away from an external force pulling on you? that's how you get a myo socket on.

bare with me, i promise writing advice is coming, and i promise it's more than the tl;dr. but. remember when i said a half working hand is infuriating to deal with? any prosthesis, from fancy myo tech to pirate-era body powered, will only ever be half as good as a working hand, and being juuuust within capability to do something but not quite able to is maddening! but you know what works way better than a half working hand? no hand at all. using whatever residual/vestigial limb you have - whatever "stump" you have, i hate that word - is pretty much always better than trying to use a prosthesis. i can use the inside of my elbow to grip and carry things, i can use the nub of my arm to apply pressure to hold things, open doors, use a computer mouse, turn on taps and lights, if i put a glove over it i can use it to prep for cooking. i have full proprioception and pressure feedback with skin contact, i don't think i've ever dropped and broken anything from my elbow, unlike countless things slipped from my greifer - which, by the way, absolutely will start clenching as tight as it can if i get even slightly too sweaty around the electrodes, which has both broken things i'm holding and also injured me, because surprise surprise but servo operated robot claws have pinch points on them right near the "emergency disengage" lever for some reason!

but i am exponentially more capable without it on than with it. no, i'm not fully independent, i rely on housemates and loved ones to help me out with some tasks that simply just need two handed dexterity, but none of those tasks are things a prosthesis makes me able to do anyway. i used to imagine my prosthesis would be like a bra; a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but i'd wear it throughout the day because it's helpful and take it off in the evening to decompress. in reality it's actually exactly like a bra: an absolute bitch to put on one handed, unbearably uncomfortable because it never sits right, ugly af unless you're a millionaire, and absolutely useless except for the fact that i get gawked at and judged by strangers if i leave the house without it on.

and if you really want to discover how far "no hand is better than a half working hand" goes, brace yourself, and look up the patient's stories (not medical system stories) of people that have had hand transplants. the first man to receive one hated it, he was promised a return to normal function, and what he got was a nightmare worse than being one handed; he wanted it removed again but the doctors refused because it would undermine their grand achievement of the first hand transplant. the doctors and society wanted him to be fixed, they wanted him to be normal, they wanted him to be abled. they failed. they made him less able to do things, denied his autonomy, and left him with someone else's hand slowly rotting on him, prioritising the idea of "scientific progress" and "two hands good" over the physical health, mental health, and ability to function of this man.

he's not alone; every story from the patients' perspective about hand transplants that i've read goes this way, including a woman who was born quad limb different and was promised hands would improve her life, pressured into a double hand transplant, only to find herself after the surgery essentially experiencing disability for the first time ever, because she had lived her whole life getting by just fine with her 'underdeveloped' limbs, but half working hands are worse than useless. you can try to find these stories yourself, but i'm not going looking for sources on any of these cases, because if you look back through enough of my posts you'll get a glimpse of the horrors and abuses that i too was put through by doctors who prioritised trying to "fix" me at any cost, rather than providing me the best quality of life, and in turn traumatised me and left me more broken than any loss of limb on its own could. dear goddess, i promise the writing advice is coming.

so. why do upper limb prostheses exist at all? if they're so terrible and useless, what is their function? i want to borrow something someone else left in the tags of a previous rant here, from someone who i believe works in prosthetics and/or rehab, cleaned up and anonymised at their request:

"upper limb functions are wildly more complex than: 1) bear weight static, and 2) bear weight moving. but every single upper limb amputee i know has a fancy expensive prosthetic just gathering dust in the closet because there is literally nothing it can do like a few years of adjustment and if needed non-dominant hand retraining can't do. the existence of forquarter prosthetics to begin with is just kind of silly and useless and entirely to make OTHER people feel comfortable, especially considering they universally are UNcomfortable for the amputee. i hate the notion that as soon as you get the amputation the prosthetic is The Thing That Will Fix You And Make You Feel Normal again because it universally isn't! but every forequarter person i know had like this ideal of Being Fixed By Magic Prosthetic that they were then obviously wildly disappointed by and had to do yet another grieving process with, versus if the dominant narrative were just one of: yeah. it'll take time, there is no magic fix."

and i think that really nails down what the actual purpose of upper limb prostheses is: they're not for the user, they're for the sake of other people. and not just their comfort when looking at our bodies, although based on the pressure for both amputees and people born limb different to get functionless cosmetic plastic hands, there is a lot of that. but it's not just that.

i fully believe that the reason prosthetic hands exists is to comfort the fears of the two handed. "don't worry", they say, "we can fix you again. you don't have to fear becoming Disabled, you don't have to worry about adapting or your life changing. we can make you Normal™ again."

you would not believe the number of people that have approached me to shower me with pity, to tell me how horrific my life is, how they can't imagine it. people have told me, apropos of nothing, that they'd kill themselves if they lost a hand. indirectly, that my life isn't worth living. unless, of course, i happen to be wearing my cool as fuck looking robot prosthesis! then they tell me how wonderful it is, how lucky i am, how glad they are that we have the technology to fix me. that's what a prosthetic hand says, what all the happy fishing photos on limbs4life posters at the rehab clinic say: don't worry, we can fix you. that's what the bleeding edge DARPA flexi-whatever fully articulated neuro-feedback hands say: don't worry if you get IED'd while hunting civilians for us to drone bomb, if you get hurt, we will fix you, we will fix the fuck out of you, we will motherfucking adam jensen you into a cool as fuck cyborg that your son will idolise; come on boys, don't you wanna enlist just for the chance at being as cool as this? join the bomb squad for a ticket to the upgrade lottery.

and so we arrive at fiction. as much as his dialogue options protest, adam jensen loves his robot arms, they punch through walls, turn into fucking swords! they make him the most special man in the world. what would he do without them? learn to cope? grieve? practice acceptance? take up poetry? just, be disabled? there's no power fantasy for ableds in that.

in fact, can you think of a single fictional character that's an upper limb amputee that's, well, just an amputee? they all have robot arms. not realistic prostheses, not medical devices; robot arms. sleek or bulky, top of the line or broken down self built, steampunk or nanomachines or magitech automail; they're never without them. never just an amputee. never born limb different either! there's always that element of tragedy to overcome, always suffering and misery porn, always focus on the pain and the helplessness without the absolutely vital robot arm that makes them Normal and Whole. the closest amputee example i can think of is furiosa from mad max, who iirc fucking punches max in the face with her residual limb like a motherfucking badass! i can barely lean on mine wrong and she punches a guy! but she still apparently needs a dieselpunk robot hand to drive a truck, something you can do one handed so easily most drivers don't even notice they're doing it! please don't, by the way

and so many disabled fans love to point to robot armed characters as disability representation; the winter soldier, luke skywalker, edward elric, misty knight, that genderswapped furry girl from ratchet and clank, jet cowboybebop, finn the human, and yes, adam jensen…. these are all characters that someone disabled i know has told me they love because they "represent disabled bodies"…. and i know nobody wants to hear this, because i've been screamed at for saying it before, but… they do not. they are not disabled, functionally or within fiction. they are either perfectly able bodied Normal people with chrome paint on an arm, or tortured misery porn we are supposed to pity and feel lucky we're not them. sometimes both!

also you ever notice how it's basically always arms? lower limb amputations are orders of magnitude more common than upper, my prosthetist said i was probably only the 4th or 5th upper limb she'd worked with in her career, with literally hundreds of lower limb fits. but fiction doesn't seem to reflect that, huh? or any other part of the reality of disability. it's always cool as fuck robot arms, never cool as fuck wheelchairs or crutches or dialysis machines or colostomy bags. a fair few "i was blind but now i can see with Robot Eyes and also infrared and xray" around, which again, plays into that "we can fix you and make you cooler" propaganda.

by the way, up above when i was describing body powered arms, if you wondered to yourself why i went with a myoelectric one instead when i clearly believe body powered is better… yeah. i am not immune to propaganda! i too wanted to be cool as fuck. i spent years with deteriorating function in my hand for reasons that are still unknown, was misdiagnosed and medically neglected to the point that removing my hand seemed to be the only option left to offer some relief, and even that was a clusterfuck that left me worse than ever… of course i wanted to believe in the power and prestige of a cool robot arm that fiction promised me.

but fiction promises fantastical lies. and so.

we get to the writing advice portion of the novella that is this post. you asked for advice on how to write a disabled character with an upper limb prosthesis. you've read the tl;dr, you've read everything above i assume, you know i don't want you to do it. the obvious twist is that it's been writing advice all along, me trying to share my perspective on what it's like being an amp with a robot arm and how shitty it is, implying how almost any fully realised and realistic character that's missing an upper limb would give up on a prosthesis at all. you can already tell that every value judgement in me says "don't give her a prosthesis, no matter how functional or cool you make it. don't try to make the tech better to justify it, just let her be one armed, one handed. just let her be disabled, but not helpless. let her show off her elbow or underarm carry strength. let her love interest appreciate how soft and squishy her residual limb is in a moment of tenderness. let her natural disabled body be respected and valued."

but that's a personal value judgement from me, and you are the author of your own work. i know it's trite to say, but you are! even the act of deferring to someone with lived experience in the hope of doing a better job at representation is a value judgement, a good choice in my opinion, but one you needn't necessarily take. maybe you do want to write a character that has a cool as fuck unrealistic robot arm as a power fantasy, or a comfort blanket… i did.

i've been slowly writing my own probably terrible scifi epic for over a decade now, and when my arm was giving me hell back then, i'd take great comfort in this fantasy of my protagonist with her chunky robot arm, the terrible traumatic suffering of her loss, overcoming, the power and ability her advanced prosthesis gives her over others, that she alone has access to, because others are not willing to make the sacrifices required. inspiration porn. awful stuff to me now, but empowering to me then. as i grew and gained direct experience, i slowly reimagined her, rewrote her, ship of theseus'd her into an entirely new character; a reflection of me now, bitter at the whole thing, spiteful that her natural flesh arm evokes fear and distrust, but unwilling to suffer the pain and frustration of her unnatural prosthesis just to make others comfortable and respect her as "whole", however artificial that whole is. and as with the ship of theseus being two ships, once i realised the transformation, i re-added the old protagonist back in whole cloth as a separate character; proud of her robot arm and its power, but in new context, as a foil and antagonist, an in-universe military prosthesis propaganda figure to reflect how i now feel characters like her exist to us, the readers.

i'm not just sharing that as egotistical self promotion, but to highlight that, even if i sit here begging you all up and down not to write characters with robot arms for how bad and unrealistic they are; there's still something genuine and true that their inclusion can say. the great thing about the story that you're writing is that only you can write it, as they say. but i whole heartedly believe that to write to your best, you have to be aware of what you're writing and why. as tempting as it is to feel these characters form naturally in us and therefore we're averse to changing traits about them that feel organic and self evident; as authors we have omnipotent control over the text, every trait and detail is a reflection on us, so we'd sure as hell better understand why we're choosing to write a character with this trait. because anything you write without being aware of intent will take on its own meaning in the space between.

and on that note, if i don't say this, i'm leaving it to be inferred: i definitely don't want to appear to come down on the side of saying "you cannot write an amputee unless you are one", because we are rarer than single young bisexual unicorns! and it would be a tragedy if anyone read through all this and then turned away in fear, deciding to never write an amputee character (with or without robot arm) because they feel they can't do it justice… believe me, no matter what anyone says, some hack writer somewhere is going to keep writing adam jensens and winter soldiers. don't let them be the only voices in fiction! just try to do your best.

so my ultimate advice on the topic of writing a character with a prosthetic limb is to ask yourself one question in two different frameworks, and meditate on what you feel the answer is:

why does she have a prosthesis?

from a doylelist perspective as the kids say, as an author with omnipotent control, why are you choosing to write about this topic? why are you choosing to give this trait to this character? what does it say about how you view ability and disability, what makes a person normal, and what our society values? will you let her be in her natural body? or will you give her a prosthesis, force her to wear it by authorial fiat, or author her a meaningful reason to choose to? if yes, be sure you know; why did you give her a prosthesis?

and from a wastonian perspective, diegetically, inside the story, why does she choose to wear a prosthesis? what does it say about her inner character, and how she interacts with the world? how does she feel about doing it, is she prideful and loves the attention she gets, or does she resent whatever necessitates its use? how do people in this world view ability and disability, what does this society value? and above all, whatever the answer to these questions, whether or not she uses a prosthesis or is badass without one, how does she deal with the eternal freezing cold that every amputee ever feels constantly in their residual limb and why does nobody make a heat pack that fits over a nub without drafty gaps???

i can't outright tell you how to write a good upper limb amputee, but if you at least know why you're writing one and for what purpose, you're on track to write the best character that you can. that's the best advice i can give… other than, like, this whole rambly mess.

and, as a reward for reading this far, please have a very blurry cryptid photo of my cat doing his old man sit:

#prosthesis #prosthetic #disability #ableism

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puranami · 5 months

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✿ It's The Little Things ✿

A/N: My first time writing! Admittedly I'm very nervous, but also so excited!! Kept it simple with a small headcanon list to start, but I tried to write a decent amount for each point, and I hope that everyone is in character :0 Posting at 4am because I have no control over my life...

Summary: Little relationship things with the Strawhats. Can be interpreted as the anime/manga or the live action version of the character.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji

Content: SFW, G/N reader, slightest hint of angst in Sanji's part, but otherwise, pure unadulterated fluff! ✿

(Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk) (Part 3 - Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer) (Part 4 - Crocodile, Rosinante/Corazon, Doflamingo)

Luffy

✿ He absentmindedly draws shapes on your leg, back, or whatever part of you is there as you sit together, whether you are watching the waves, or listening to one of Usopp's stories. He is almost magnetic in the way he ends up attached to you. If you're not feeling it, he will do his best to keep his hands to himself, but as soon as his focus shifts onto anything else, they're back on you, drawing little clouds and hearts. He tried, he really did!

✿ This bottomless pit inhales food like it's going out of fashion, but, much to the bewilderment of the rest of the crew, he will actually feed you from his plate as he eats, even though you are eating your own food. It may be a case of "1 for you, 5 for me," but it's almost instinctive for him; he's sharing something he's passionate about with you, and making sure that, in his eyes, you are happy, healthy and strong. He values your wellbeing more than food; you are one of the most important things in his life.

✿ Despite how chaotic he is in every aspect of his life, his presence brings you to a state of complete peace, even when he's yelling about whatever currently has his attention. Just knowing he is there comforts you in a way that nothing, and no one else can. As long as Luffy is there, being the same old Luffy he always is, you know everything will be alright in the end, and if it isn't alright, well, it isn't the end yet.

Zoro

✿ He always places a comforting hand on your head when he passes by, or ends up in the same general space as you. It's his version of a hug, a reassuring touch that he is there, and that he's happy to see you. Zoro is very subtle with his affection, at least in public, but even when it's just the two of you, he automatically defaults to the head pat. It comforts him as much as it does you, and the simple action alone conveys his feelings far better than he ever could with words.

✿ You both love silently observing everything going on around you, and it's such a comfortable silence. You just enjoy each others company while watching the world go by, with Zoro also keeping an eye out for any threats, as he does. Sometimes you end up passing silent judgement on what you see, and you have both developed this uncanny ability to gossip without saying a single word. It's honestly unnerving at times, but you are just so familiar with each others micro-expressions that it's second nature.

✿ Insults are terms of endearment. If anyone else called either of you such things, all hell would break loose - swords drawn, blood spilt, bodies hit the floor, the whole song and dance. It actually started out as a form of deflection, with both of you being far too stubborn to admit any feelings were there, even to yourselves; "No, I don't like you, shitstain, I tolerate you." - "Whatever helps you sleep at night, arseface." As you connected though, it just became your thing, and you love seeing who can come up with the funniest insults. Zoro is surprisingly creative in this regard.

Nami

✿ Nami has a habit of fixing your clothes and hair if something is out of place. It can seem overbearing to others, but she knows you appreciate the gesture. She spent years putting up walls to defend herself, and this is a safe way for her to have a little moment alone with you, giving you gentle little touches without revealing to the world just how important you are to her. It is a very grounding experience for both of you, and you end up doing the same for her on the rare occasion that she isn't completely flawless. She may purposely put things out of place so you have the opportunity to fix something too.

✿ She has an eye for the finer things, and loves getting you little trinkets, and especially pieces of jewellery, which often match or pair with hers, like pendants that fit together to make a whole shape, and such. Just don't ask her where she got them; "Shhh, you don't need to worry about that." All that matters is that you now have a tangible connection to each other, no matter how close, or far apart you are.

✿ Another person who relishes in comfortable silence. Of course you love chatting with each other, and often do so later into the night than you intended. Nami is very quick-witted and your shared snark is always so enjoyable! But it's the moments when you are doing your own thing together, basking in the warmth of that closeness that brings the most joy. Every so often, you will share something interesting or amusing, depending on what you're doing, but you always return to that silence. It's very domestic.

Usopp

✿ You both end up in regular fits of giggles, that grow into raucous laughter, before devolving into the sounds of various suffocating wildlife, which only fuels the hilarious fire. He doesn't even have to say anything at times; he just has a look, and as soon as he catches your eye with it, you absolutely lose it. The amount of nonsensical inside jokes you have is absurd in itself.

✿ Ever the storyteller, Usopp will wind down the day with you relaxing under the stars, telling you fantastical stories about the impossible feats of the great 'Captain Usopp.' His creativity and imagination are something you greatly admire, and as much as you try to stay awake to appreciate those qualities, the comfort he brings has you dropping off every time. He'll carry you to bed most nights, but sometimes he can only manage to drag you around like a corpse he's trying to hide, and he'll end up waking you up laughing about it.

✿ You automatically link your little fingers whenever you are close enough to. It doesn't even register half of the time, only realising when you need that hand or try to go your separate ways. When this happens, providing there isn't anything that needs your urgent attention, you like to dramatize your parting, playing up that this is the most painful moment of your lives! "Don't you dare let go, Usopp! We can both make it out of this alive!" - "I'm so sorry, I can't hold on any longer, and I refuse to drag you down with me." - "No! Don't say that!" - "I love you so much, but you need to let me go..." Leading to you unlinking your fingers, and exaggerated fake cries of anguish. It annoys everyone around you immensely.

Sanji

✿ You shamelessly flirt with each other, making everyone around you uncomfortable, groaning at how painful it is. You weren't together when you started playing this romantic game of chicken, giving back everything Sanji threw at you, and then some, but once you figured your feelings out, you actually developed it into a legitimate game where you attempt to be as sickening and obnoxious as possible. If there is no one grimacing, angrily telling you both to pack it in, or simply leaving the room; you aren't flirting enough. There is a points system, and you're currently in the lead. Sanji ends up caving over the things you say, and his brain loses the ability to form words, let alone string them together in a coherent sentence.

✿ Sanji always leaves a drink and a bite to eat for you to wake up to, since he isn't there in person, having to wake up much earlier to prepare the food for the day. Growing up in a restaurant, early starts are just part of his natural rhythm, so it doesn't bother him, but sometimes you try to wake up with him to at least watch the sunrise together, before going back to bed for a couple more hours. He cherishes those mornings, and there is always an extra spring in his step on those days.

✿ He takes every opportunity he can to share a glance and a warm smile, a gentle touch of your hands, or a chaste kiss with you. They are agonisingly brief moments, but Sanji needs them to get him through the day, otherwise he would just cling to you, and neither of you would get anything done! Unknown to you, these moments are also his way of reminding himself that you chose him over everyone else, that he is loved unconditionally, and that he is enough, without having to, in his opinion, burden you with his insecurities. He'll open up to you one day, and you will be able to give him verbal affirmations along with everything else~

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