#or did i make that up

[nikatyler]

So, cc sims up for download. You don't include the cc and just link it for people to grab it themselves, people go fuck you, I'm not downloading all that, keep your sim. You include it, you're evil because you don't respect creators' TOU.

So genuinely, what would you rather see me do with my downloads, include the cc or not?

#to be fair i feel bad including it #but i understand people who don't want to go through 50 links just for one sim #can someone fetch me that post that says that ea tou actually allows you to reupload any cc created for their game #or did i make that up #i could swear i actually reblogged that though #sorry if i sound cranky i didn't get enough sleep. brainrot. plus all jokes aside we just had bad family news so. yeah

[flufallo]

My goals in life:

Move to america

Start at deans high school

See green magic

Spill soup on a hot goth girl

Have a blue haired russian move into my house

Star in a play with a ginger girl

Beat up a dude with magic

Go to detention and befriend a trans boy who can kill if he wants, a girlboss who's probably lesbian, and a black and green haired autistic dude with a toy puppet that's apparently my son

Go to a Halloween party dressed as a pumpkin

Go to therapy with the father of my abuser/ the person I abuse kinda

Get a diary from when I was 5 that my mum who is dead now gave to me

Draw a cat in it

A cat appears who's so cute aaaa

Start dating the same hot goth girl from before

Make up with the people who I fought

My therapist finds out who I am 🕴️

SET UP THERAPISTS SON WITH HIS BESTIE!!!

Kill w!LL!am.

#jacksons diary #that sounds very familiar 🤔 #i have no idea tho 😭 #jackson smith #ofc i want to be nicer than jackson tho #bc DEXER IS REAL IDIOT! #hastag jackson neutrelist #ehy did i write hastag it litrally puts a hashtag- #im so stupid 😭 #but im to lazy to change it #wait is it called deans high #or did i make that up #idk #just oretend its right even if its not

[shutupandplayasong]

Lemme tell you as someone who only read two and half Percy Jackson books twelve years ago and remembers maybe three things from them in total, I was so fucking excited when those blue pancakes showed up I was waiting for them

#i remember the blue pancakes #some little emo boy named Niko or something. he freaked me out when i was in middle school #and Percy like. killing Gabe or something #doesnt he shove Gabe into a table corner. doesnt he like. crack his head open and bleed out in the kitchen? #and his mom is just like “you better get going i dont want you to miss the bus. have fun at camp sweetie ill just be here hiding the body” #or did i make that up #i like half vividly remember that #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #pjo series

[wonpiltual]

did drake bell never go to jail??

#🦈 #or did i make that up

[pinkfey]

confused by everyone thirsting for letitia wright bc isn’t she a republican

#or did i make that up #like i’m pretty sure she’s an anti vax transphobe #anyways.txt

[thewaitisogre]

dfghjkkkl why is tom gonna be dead in 10 years?? 😂 sleepy bitch disease? he's only in his 40s 😭

it’s been hinted so many times and he’s under so much stress and he doesn’t sleep. my poor tommy

#ask #and wasn’t the training plan that logan laid out for shiv a 10 year plan #or did i make that up

[mcnuggyy]

Didn’t there used to be a queue button on mobile?? Wtf…. =_=

#or did I make that up #cause my finger keeps going to queue and there’s nothing there #ummmmm #callate guero

[lorata]

So, I had been thinking about making a mini-caricature about wmbk and apparently today is the day.

I am no way an artist but the final product was beyond my expectation. Hope you like it :)

(This one is about that one ask where Adessa showing Odin her amateur romance novels.)

RUN ODIN RUN

this is hilarious thank you so much

#hallibahar #lorata answers #we must be killers: tales from district 2 #oc: adessa #oc: odin #did your username have a hyphen originally #or did i make that up

[especdreamy]

Wasn't there a time where Tommyinnit was on his apartment with his dad and he was gonna call Phil to get him on stream and he went "DAD!!!" and his actual irl dad came on and Tommy had to backtrack and say that he was calling for Phil

#Dreamy talks #Or did I make that up

[lanseax]

so i kinda wanna watch more D20, I’ve seen the candy campaign (im sorry i cant remember the name) and it was amazing, is there another one i should definitely watch?

#nox speaks #dimension 20 #was it a crown of candy? was that what it was called? #or did i make that up

[bi-mirandalawson]

Anybody else remember that post on here about a tiny sign in the ground that says smth like ‘behold, a clump of dirt, beloved by god’

#or did i make that up #sinatext

[aropride]

#text #copypasting a 21 chapter chat fic i wrote in 2018 into one big document #seeing glimpses of it #most of the time it's like. man. i did not write this #but then i see a phrase i was certain i came up with last year #and im like ah . so ive been making that joke since i was 15 ? #peer reviewed banger #rbsoff

[moonlightmenace]

found a brothel in Baldur's Gate 3 and hired a very kinky drow, then experienced the funniest video game sex scene I've ever seen

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #also my character was wearing clown make up for this #i tried it and did not realize you couldnt take it off except with a long rest

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[shadowtraveled]

"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them. #hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore. #but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy