#or forgiveness or kindness or follows or anything. i wanna do things for me! i dont remember making any art on this blog. but now i will!
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ballroom extravaganza
minatozaki sana x f!reader || cont. of fake and true ! pt.3 here
synopsis: you scored the date with the girl from the bar, things are shaping up for the better (maybe/maybe not), and your cousin mina is starting to raise some suspicions.
warnings: fluff ; smut!! ; sana giving/recieving ; reader recieving/giving ; fucking in the car/office/bedroom (freaky deaky) :D ; sana being needy ; sana praising ; cursing ; anything else i didn't let y'all know ; might be proofread
a/n: dang y'all really like sana don't ya? (bias wrecking me ill never recover) hope you guys enjoy this second part as much as the first one!
you’re basically jumping out of your own skin when you hear the knock on your door, and twirl around to see the bedside clock.
8:29
a minute early. you’d be impressed to keep the hefty lunch in your stomach to not vomit it out.
“coming!” you cry out, before taking a second to fuss with your current appearance. you played it simple, the flashiest part of the red dress that shuhua loaned you. like the black one, it’s slim-fitting and short, the neckline cutting above the swell of your breasts. your lips are a stained deep red, just to match. tzuyu always said to you that the color was striking for you to pull off.
after straightening the dress, you step out of your room and walk towards the entryway of the door, taking a second to toe on your black pumps. and then, with a steady exhale, you open the door.
sana stands on the other side of it, one hand in her pocket of your black slacks and the other carrying a bouquet of roses that she promptly shoves at your chest. you take them, cradling to your body, and look up to find her already gazing at you, eyes raking from the top of your head and down. again and again.
“hey.”
“hi.” you smile at her. “these are really beautiful, thank you.”
sana jerks her head in acknowledgement, and you can see the faintest flush of pink spreading to the tips of her ears. you bite your lip as you set the flowers down, staving off the rare urge to giggle.
she’s still standing by the door, holding her arm out. “so are you ready to go?”
you take it, curling a hand around her bicep, letting her lead you out. “please.”
—
“alright,” sana says, laying her menu flat on the table, staring at you with grave seriousness. “speak.”
“huh?” you look away from the giant, crystal chandelier hanging above you two. the restaurant she’d take you to was only slightly less fancier than the one at the four seasons hotel.
slightly.
“i can tell you want to say something.”
you smile nervously. “yeah, about your driving, maybe. i thought we were gonna—”
“y/n.” she says firmly; it has the same affect as dumping a bucket of ice water over your head. “no bullshit. you might as well say what you wanna say.”
“fine.” and this is easy to sink into, your mode of no-nonsense: the compartmentalization of what stresses you. “why did you give me the money?”
“because i wanted to.”
“i know, but why? did you feel bad for me?”
“a little.”
you grit your teeth. “did you pity me?”
“no.”
“then what?”
“i’ve been in your position before. kind of.”
“what do you mean.”
“struggling college student, a shitty job, caming from harebrained ways to get money. everyone who’s gone on the path to grad school, doesn’t matter if it’s med, law, blah blah blah whatever, knows how fucking hard it is to survive.”
your cheeks flush from sana’s words, picking at the white table cloth. “so you empathized with me?”
“basically.” sana says, sitting back in her chair, smiling at you. your eyes follow along the lazy draw of it. “i didn’t expect you to be so difficult about it.”
“it’s not like it’s common to give strangers hundreds of dollars within an hour of meeting them. forgive me for being concerned.”
“do you still want to give the money back to me?” sana asks.
“yes.”
“okay. then let’s change the subject.” diverting to the basic cookie cutter icebreaker in existence. “what are you majoring in?”
“sana—”
she reaches across the table and grabs your hand, squeezing it slightly. dazzling brown eyes swallow up your field of vision as she leans into you. “what are you majoring in?”
you bite your tongue. you don’t want to relent into sana’s charms; mina would have your head if she knew that sana was running away with it. but she’s making it so so easy, smiling when you answer, “i’m finishing up my bachelor’s in child education. aiming to get my masters in child’s psychology.”
“you like kids?”
“yeah,” you reply, visibly softening to sana. “last summer i did my internship at a local kindergarten and i love it. kids are…easy in a way that people aren’t.”
“what do you mean?”
“they don’t expect anything from you. not anything beyond food or water or playtime. you know, nothing super sophisticated or adult. and they’re easy to talk to. they don’t care what you say to them or if you don’t talk much in general. they’re not judgy and it’s nice.” you hit that right out of the ballpark, and sana stares with lips parted as the facts are laid out for you.
“i’ve never thought about them that way,” she says, her hand shifting atop your own. her thumb skims across your knuckles. “it sounds nice.”
your heart thrums like a hummingbird against the walls of your chest. every languid caress pulls a shiver from you. “you don’t like kids?”
“i don’t dislike them. i’m neutral, i guess. i know i’d like to have my own.” sana replies.
“do you have any siblings?”
“nope. i’m an only child.”
“i would’ve never guessed,” you say dryly.
“ha! has anyone told you you’re funny?” sana inquires, and you’re stifling a laugh while she’s smiling at you, gaze fond. “what about you?”
“well, i’m an only child.” you reply. normally you’d leave it at this. you don’t really like the notion of getting into the nitty-gritty of your past, but sana’s presence robs any reticence from you. “my parents passed when i was younger so i was raised by my aunt and her cousin.”
“oh.” sana slips her fingers into the spaces of your own and squeezes gently again. “i’m so sorry.”
“it’s okay,” you say, smiling awkwardly. “it happened when i was little. i’m kind of accustomed to it now.”
“can i ask you a question?”
“a personal one?”
the corner of sana’s mouth quirks. you want to trace it with your fingers.
“if you were in that desperate of a situation, why didn’t you ask her for help?”
“i can’t afford to take any money from my aunt or cousin. she can’t afford it.”
“did you try asking?”
“i’m not saying she would’ve said no. but if she tried, i wouldn’t have accepted it.”
“sounds startlingly familiar.”
you pull your hand from hers with a smile and an eye roll before picking up the menu in front of the table, raising it up high enough to cover sana’s face.
“can we order something now?”
—
when you get back in the car, you’re warm, languid with a stomach full of risotto and red wine. sana’s hand rests on the gear shift between you, the other one on her wheel. you like watching the motion of them as she drive, like the curls of sana’s knuckles and the rasp her palm makes against the wheel when she turns it. you wish to feel the warmth of it against your leg.
well, in a city like new york, it’s nothing more than unpleasant.
“you know i wasn’t kidding when i told you that you’re a horrible driver.”
“do you own a car, y/n?”
“i usually take the subway.”
“okay. pro-tip if you ever do drive in these streets, better to be offensive than dead. or stuck in traffic for two hours. which, believe it or not, is fucking worse.”
but despite sana’s words, she seems to listen to you. the drive stretches longer, and you lean into the plush leather seats as you stare out the window, dreading the sight of every familiar building, the street signs that you know lead to your apartment. for a moment, you debate asking to get ice cream, or go to the park, a movie theater–-anything and everything to extend this. you don’t want to leave the pleasant warmth of her car.
“y/n?”
you look over to see her smile. “i thought you were asleep.”
“i’m not tired.”
she takes her hand off the gear shift, thumbs a lock of your hair without breaking your gaze. unwavering.
“neither am i.”
when she pulls into your squat, little apartment complex, you’re gripping the edge of your seat, nails squeaking against the buttery leather. she smoothly pulls into an empty space, parking backwards—what a show off—-before turning to you. with as huddled into the seat as you were, her hand is behind the headers, arm bracketing you, you feel consumed. surrounded by her scent, in her car, the engine humming beneath them, with her so close. you can’t breathe without inhaling her.
sana’s noticed it too. her eyes have gone dark, swallowed by her pupils.
“i had fun,” she says.
“me too.”
her mouth twitches. “you gonna try giving me the money back now?”
you jolt at the reminder, bending to snatch you purse, but sana’s hand flies from her headrest to your hand, hot over your knee.
“i was kidding. i don’t want it back. i don’t need it.”
“sana—”
“y/n.” she interrupts firmly. “i don’t need it. and in my opinion, i think you can do a hell of a lot more.”
your defenses waiver before they crumble completely, and you feel your chin wobble. to your horror. “you’re too nice to me.”
she grabs it, pressing her thumb into the plush of your bottom lip. your stomach clenches as sana’s eyes flicker down, anticipation making your headlight.
“i don’t think i’m nice enough,” she whispers, but it barely registers. you’re already reaching for her, mouth open to beg; hand on her wrist, and she meets you half-way, swallowing your muted please.
sana’s kiss is desperate, intense like the rest of her. one hand buried in your hair while the other presses against your knee, a searing, overbearing heat that sinks into your insides, coiling tingly in the pit of your gut. despite your furious protestations to tzuyu, you haven’t felt this in a while, the wet-warmth of another mouth against your own, the life of someone else’s tongue, opening you up further.
you press closer, so frantic you almost climb over the armrest, but sana pushes you back down to your seat. she breaks away from your mouth to kiss down the line of your throat, flicking her tongue out to taste your overheated skin, smiling when you sigh. your hips jerk beneath her hold when she sucks at your pulse point.
she grins, teeth nipping at your jawline. “you like that, sweetie?”
there’s a shock-wire running from the heat of her mouth to her clit. sana’s barely touched you and you’re already keyed-up, on the cusp of euphoria. if you touched yourself now, you’d be so far gone, but you’re not sure she’d let you.
sana returns to kissing your throat, pausing to suckle at it with teeth and tongue, laving it against your skin in soft, wet strokes. she uses the hand in your hair to tilt your neck towards her, directing you like a puppet on strings. her other hand roves up and down your exposed thigh in gentle motions, more exploratory than anything, as if she can’t keep from touching you. and the thought sends a jolt of electricity to pass through you, sparking between your legs. it makes your hips can’t, makes the desperate need for friction a burying, voracious thing, primed to consume you.
when she kisses the swell of your bottom lip, it comes out of you in a breathless pant, nails biting the seat. “p-please touch me.”
“where?” sana asks, thumbing the hem of your dress, close enough to be a physical pain. “where, baby? here?”
“n-no.”
“then where, y/n?” your eyes are black, eager with predatory intent, and you hate how much you love it; the consuming weight of her attention, like she wants to eat you whole.
without much coronation, you take sana’s hand and shove it between your thighs, spreading them wide. you’re initially afraid that she’ll keep teasing you, that she’s lost in the power trip, but she surprises you when she groans and kisses you roughly, fingers tracing up your slit.
“so fucking wet you are,” sana raps when she breaks away, almost crazed. she dips her hand beneath the waistband of your panties, the sensation of her fingers against your sensitive skin sending your eyes rolling. your hips buck, demanding delicious friction, and she surges in, laughing into your mouth.
“you can cum just like this, can’t you?” she asks, voice rumbling against your cheek. her thumb slides up and down the seam of your cunt, the heel of her palm adding the barest pressure to your clit, but it’s good. the mere taste of it almost enough to send you over the edge, just for the sweet torture.
her knuckles pull against the gusset of your panties as two of her fingers center over your clit. her pace at first is light, slow, exploratory like the way it’d been on your leg. her eyes on your face are focused. she wants to know what’ll take you to the edge, and you know it isn’t this. so you grab sana’s wrist and raise your hips to force pressure.
“faster,” you pant, liquid gaze cutting to her. “h-harder. i like it–”
she steals the words from you, kissing again with a mouth full of bite. the motions of sana’s fingers quicken, slide down to the tease of your e trance while you grind frantically into her palm. you’re so wet you easily accept the glide of her first finger, and when she pushes in the second, the stretch is sweet, a welcome thing. you thrust onto them, wishing vainly that she’d toss you into the backseat and fuck you with something more.
the thought makes you clench around her, and she curses loudly, burying her face into your sweaty neck.
“are you always this depsrate when you’re getting fucked?” sana hisses, thrusting her fingers into you harder, without relent. “you always feel this good?”
you choke out a sob, feeling the familiar swoop in your belly, the swelling tide that welcomed euphoria. as you clutch her wrist, chasing it, sana rests her head atop your shoulder, her voice going soft, reverent.
“you’re so good, y/n,” she says in a frantic stream, mad with want. “so good. so, so fucking good. my perfect girl.”
you keen when it washes over you, that white-hot heat that robs you of sense. you shudder beneath sana’s grip, clutching her wrist as you ride it out. she helps you come down from it, kissing you languidly and keeping her pace inside you slow. when you can breathe again, she pulls them out of you. you flush hotly when she sticks her fingers in her mouth, but the embarrassment doesn’t linger long. you surge toward her, hands flying towards the button of her pants. meets her in another frantic kiss.
“i wanna make you feel good now,” you whisper, palming her. “i want—”
sana uses her hand in your hair to bind you up against her and kisses you again, long and full enough to make the words melt from your tongue. you’re hazy when she pulls away, pliant.
“i think,” she says. “that there’s always next time.”
“next time?”
“next time,” sana repeats, rubbing your cheek with her thumb. “it’s late anyway. you should go to bed.”
“oh,” you say blankly. “okay.”
sana kisses you again, twice on your nose, before leaning over to open your door. you stumble out of her car, binding your purse tight against your chest. you wave at her from the entrance of her building before you step inside, and see the shadow of sana’s hand as she waves back, driving off. when she turns onto the street, you rush inside, a hot, sharp balloon swelling in your chest.
your hands shake when you slot the key into your door and turn the knob, switching on the lights. you kick your shoes off and toss the purse onto the couch, moving on muscle memory. you can’t think beyond the warm, floaty haze that’s clouded your mind, and when you shut the door behind you, you laugh.
over and over. carelessly. all the while remembering the firm grip of sana’s hand and the scent of her, clogging your nose even now, a smell you want to bottle up and keep.
next time, you think, giddy, nearly dancing in the small space. she said there’d be a next time.
just then, you hear the high trill of your phone and dart to the couch, yanking open your purse to fish it out. you flush a pink when you notice the notification next to sana’s name– a text that reads, goodnight- and as you go to type your response, another notification pops up. one from venmo.
a cold spike of adrenaline shoots through you when the app opens, fingers trembling. you almost drop your phone entirely at the number attached: $1,000 dollars.
“for school,” it reads.
your breath quickens. the hot balloon in your chest expands and expands until it pops, a physical pain against your ribcage.
i thought— your eyes burn. the realization sinks into your like molasses. i thought she—
the night you met sana, she expressed concern when she learned why you were there. she’d condemned jihyo and implied that you deserved something more, something better. she’d left you money as a gift, to be kind.
a gift, sana told you. you don’t owe me anything.
so why is it, then, that you have the distinct impression that jihyo had been simply outbid.
—
you’re thinking about next time. sana said that there’d be a next time.
that next time would come, then twice.
then a third.
and after.
the day after that, and the day even after that.
the room is reverberating the echoes around you, loud with the sounds of heavy pants and wet slaps of skin. you’re clinging to the sheets beneath you, pushing yourself up, moving your hips to meet the frantic pace of sana's fingers curled up inside you. sana then buries a hand into your hair and hitches you up for a kiss that never takes. it’s broken quickly, leaves both of your swollen mouths parted and breathing of each other’s oxygen. you’re relishing the intimacy of the moment.
when the building pressure at the base of your stomach grows to become too overwhelming, you fall back on the mattress, unmoored without sana’s presence, but she follows you as she always does. she’s binding her arm around your waist and raises you up, hand cupping your cunt while she’s all over your neck again.
“c’mon,” sana says, voice wrecked, torn from her. “c’mon, honey, one more.”
you gave sana the opportunity to sit on her face earlier, brown eyes flashing dark and predatory at you while you grind all over her mouth. the hot curl of her tongue relentless against you, reducing you to a living nerve ending. sana wrung out two splintering orgasms out of you, flipping you on your back before you could even recover. you loved it, and you still do, seeing all the ways that you can challenge sana.
her slender fingers dip down to your clit again and causes you to moan loudly, rocking into her as she circles it firmly: rough, fast motions that she’s learned that you love. to bring you back to that edge quick.
sana kisses you again, her other hand slipping to your breast above and squeezing. she’s groaning into your core, it’s making you fall deeper into the madness of your situation.
“you’re so—” she barely mumbles out, her hand on your breast slides down to clamp the divot in your hips. sliding the pillow under the arch of your back in one seamless motion. she’s too good with her hands. “fucking unreal, and perfect.”
her mouth against your other mouth starts the chain reaction. you’re moaning out more strain behind it. a star-burst of affection igniting in your chest. sana continues to swipe her tongue, the unyielding pressure that makes your vision swimmy, and you let go.
you’re sobbing out while your hands are trying to find what’s left of the comforter as ecstasy steals over you. sana continues to drive her fingers and tongue into you, letting you feel it: in the air, at the base of your throat, between the rapid, uneven pacing of thrusts from her fingers. when you’re all tuckered out, the clenching fading out from your cunt, soaked with slick while it gets on different parts of your skin; from the leg, to one of your obliques, to the small peak of your boob.
“o-okay, that’s e-enough.”
“you taste so fucking good,” sana murmurs, mouth hot against the column of your neck. her hands trailing up and down your stomach. “when you clench around my fingers is just—”
fucking shit this woman. “sana, please.”
she sits up with a chuckle, and you’re at the same level too, instantly resting your head on her shoulder, kissing it. sana wraps her arm around your waist, kissing the top of your head, her fingers are tapping away at the v-line. you look up and she kisses you, grinning with delight.
“will you stay over?” you ask, too plaintive when she pulls away. sana’s smile falters and you feeling the realization, disappointment inbound.
“i can’t.” a spike lances through you. “my department has a meeting early in the morning. i can’t skip.”
“oh.” you hate yourself for being upset—she’s a doctor, of course she’s busy—but the feeling rises up anyway, along with the insidious notion that she’s gotten what she wanted and so has little use for you now. without thinking, you start to drift away from sana in slow little increments that she catches, and she pulls you up tight against her, pressing her lips to your hairline.
“i wish i could say,” sana whispers. “if it were up to me, i’d be here with you everyday.”
the words are cruel, considering what they are–what you are—but the pain is stamped down. masking it with teasing. “how would you work then?”
“i’m sure my supervisor could find someone else to fill my place. someone as equally ecstatic to dig their hands into some guy’s intestines.”
“you’re so…casual when you talk about your job.” you say out of respite.
“are you worried?” sana asks.
“no.” answering while tracing fingers across sana’s chest, over her still-racing heart, before tapping her chin. “but it makes me wonder if i should be.”
“is the child psychology major going to psychoanalzye me right now? when i’m twenty-nine years old nearing thirty?”
“you know the issues of childhood can be far-reaching. you never stop feeling the effects of it.”
“incredible.” you laugh when sana dips her head and takes your finger in her mouth, biting it gently. “but i’ve always been this way.”
“which is?”
a half-feral grin spreads across sana’s face before she abruptly flips you over. you yelp into her mouth as she kisses you, long and slow, and settles over you. she breaks away, still grinning. “crazy about you.”
you’re flushing hotly, which makes her bark out a delighted laugh, and sana kisses you again. over and over and over. her lips trail from your fluttering eyelids to the tip of your nose to your chin, every nook and cranny of your face that she can reach. when her lips meet yours again, you can taste the sugar on her tongue.
“god, i wish i could stay,” sana rasps, breaking away, and you cling onto her.
“then stay.”
“if i did, i’d have to leave at 5 to get ready at my apartment in order to be at the hospital on time. also you have an early class tomorrow. chances are i’d wake you up and you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep.”
your jaw tightens, and teeth catch your tongue. you don’t want to accuse sana of making excuses, because you know she’s right; it’s happened before. and that’s what burns you, the idea that your angst could have no standing. the operating off of your injured feelings and nothing substantial. this is transnational after all.
“okay.” you say, coolly. “guess this is goodbye then.”
“bye y/n.” sana says, kissing your mouth. “goodnight.”
sana kisses you several times, smothering you in affection. she only stops after you simple, nipping at your nose once before rising off the bed. you watch as sana peels away off the bed, walking around your room, picking up her clothes from the floor and pulling them on. when she’s done, she strides over to you and slides a nick of your hair back, kissing your forehead.
“i’ll call you tomorrow, sweetheart.”
“okay.”
sana ducks down, skating her nose along the edge of your hairline, keeping her mouth close to your ear. “i’ll see you later.”
you move your head and catch sana’s lips. against them, whispering. “mn, see you later.”
you notice with some satisfaction that sana’s eyes are fevered as she pulls away, dark with wanting, and you shove your face back into the pillow, clinging to it. sana mutters a soft curse and makes her way to the door, only to immediately jam the knob when she goes to close it. she mutters a curse again, much louder.
“just give it a little wiggle,” you say, sitting up. “it gets a little tight sometimes when you twist it.”
“how long has it been like this?”
“since i got the apartment.”
“what the fuck?!” sana exclaims. “did anything else come broken?”
“sometimes the water pressure in my shower is really low.”
“jesus christ, y/n.” sana says again, louder, angrier. “why haven't you told your landlord?”
“trust me, i have.” you say shrugging your shoulders. “if i said anything more than that he’d just shut off the water entirely.”
sana sounds pressed, jiggling the knob harder. “i’ll kill him then.”
“it’s really not that ba—”
“i’m coming back next week with a repairman,” sana interjects, tone brokering no argument. “i can fix the doorknob myself but i’ll get a plumber for the shower.”
you duck your head, embarrassed. “you really don’t have to do that, sana.”
“i want to,” she replies, eyes softening when she looks at you. “i don’t want you living in some shit-hole with no running water.”
“i have running water.”
“we’ll see what the plumber says.” and with that, sana gives up on fixing the jam and breezes past the doorway. a few seconds later, you can hear sana at the front door shut behind her. with a deep sigh, you fall back into the bed and reach for your pillow, thick with her scent, and curls around it to fall asleep.
in the morning, you wake up to a ten dollar venmo notification for coffee and the contact information of the plumber sana mentioned.
—
“why haven’t you got my calls or texts?” is the first question that mina asks when you answer the phone. you stifle a laugh.
“well, good to hear your voice mina.”
“you haven’t called me,” she says again. “is everything okay?”
you sigh and sink into your loveseat, socks skipping over the fractured leather. your fingers cradle the coffee mug. “nothing’s wrong.” you say. “i’ve been really busy.”
“with what?”
“school,” is what you reply with. “not sure if you’ve kept up, but i’m in my last year now. i’ve been getting most of the important work done as much as i can.” a second passes before you add, “and communication is a two-way street. you haven’t been calling me either.”
“busy with work.” is what mina says in defense.
“see?” you quirk, a sip of coffee passing through your mouth, tapping your fingers on your knee, waiting for mina to speak. neither of you are particularly verbose, so the shared calls usually play out like this: tense silence, quick updates, the voids that harbored resentment. but you’ve grown far from the desire of mina to be soft for you (she has, doesn’t want to admit it) and you’re just accustomed to the dispassion.
for the final question on the script: “do you need any money from me?”
“no, mina. i don’t need money from you or auntie.”
“i assume the tips are good at your job then?”
“even better.”
she hums, like this was real answer, saying, “if you ever need anything, call me.”
“you know it when i do.”
“okay then.”
mina hangs up with a click before the goodbye is even truly articulated on the tongue.
—
your ears perk up when a knock is heard on the door, moving from your kitchen to walk to the entrance. curious, you open it, only to be swept up into sana’s arms before you can even say hello. she kicks it shut behind her and pins you to the old wood, lips roving over your face.
“what—” she kisses your mouth twice in quick succession. “—are you doing here?”
“left the hospital for my lunch break,” sana breathes, hitching you up so that a leg is wrapped around her waist. she dips to suck your collarbone, mouth curling when she hears you mewl. “decided to come here.”
“d-did you eat?”
“no.”
sana’s hand slides up from the curve of your ass to your breast, squeezing gently. you moan softly, head thumping against the wood. “you—you should.”
she separates from your throat to shoot a sly grin. “i’d rather eat you out first.”
mindless, spurred by sana’s passion, you surge down to kiss her. tightening your legs around her, thighs squeezing as sana’s hand cups your clit. with every pass of the hand, you can feel the shift of your underwear, panties clinging.
sana buries her hand into your hair, yanking back to expose your throat. she ducks her head to you for another kiss, trailing her lips up and down the line, tongue darting out to taste. her other hand dips down to your ass to bind you up against her, rolling until your toes curl. you sigh and slide your hand into sana’s hair. it would be so easy to just cum from this, but you’d rather put sana’s mouth somewhere else.
you pull her up by her hair, stomach clenching at the naked want on sana’s face. her eyes, half-lidded and hazy, are trained on your open mouth. when you lick them, her thumb catches your bottom lip.
“please,” you gasp, moving against sana’s hips. arching. “we need to go to my—”
sana grins, almost madly, and kisses you hard enough to steal your breath. “what? you’re afraid your neighbors might hear me fuck you again?”
you blush hotly and sana laughs, but ultimately decides to appease you, heaving you off the wall. she seeks out your lips again and stumbles into the room. impatient, sana kicks open the door, heedless when it slams loudly into the wall.
you hardly notice also, giddy when sana pushes you onto the bed. it’s a race to get clothes off, pairs of hands fulmbling with the zippers and buttons until sana bats her pants away, you yanking your sweatpants off, meeting for another kiss as she lowers herself over you. you moan loudly when her fingers tease the opening between your legs, feeling the wetness in an instant.
“my god,” you sigh out, clinging to sana, blood burning beneath your skin; every movement a siren call to your own pleasure. “please, just—just touch me, sana.”
sana grins rakishly, eyes glittering with mirth. ever the eager observer to your own demise.
“you’re always so polite, sweetheart.” sana says, and moves down to kiss you. you yourself arch to meet her, pulse skittering at her proximity, at the heady invertibility of mindless pleasure, and—
the lights go out.
sana stills above you. at first, you’re surprised, waiting for them to flicker back on. this happens sometimes. i mean—the building is old as in 1920s red stone–faulty wiring and out-dated, but nothing comes to fruition.
“fuck,” you spitt, arousal plummeting to now nothing. you move from under sana. “fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—”
“what’s wrong?” sana asks. you rise from the bed and she follows you to the kitchen. you snatch a pile of envelopes from your counter to dig through them, only to stop when you notice that the lighting outside is too dim to see. you sigh heavily, marching over to your couch to read by the flickering candles. sana sits down beside you, eyeing cautiously. “what’s wrong?”
“the light bill,” you croak. “the rental agency upped the price recently but i must’ve paid the old amount without ven thinking. god, how could i be so stupid?!”
“you’re not stupid. don’t talk like that,” sana snaps. she then takes a deep breath, voice much calmer when she adds, “and this is an easy fix. if you pay it now, it’ll be back on in a few hours. this shit happens, y/n.”
“but i don’t–” have the money. you clench your jaw tight, forcing the words down, but sana can see the pain on your face, can hear it lingering in the air, unsaid.
“i’ll help you—” you shake your head; you don’t like this, the reminder—” let me help you.”
“no, sana.”
“it’s not a big deal. i want to.”
“i can’t ask you to—”
sana suddenly shifts closer and grabs your face, cupping it between her palms. she looks int your eyes, gaze probing.
“let me,’ she cajoles. “you don’t have to bear the burden of this all on your own. if i’m offering to help you, let me help you.”
your heart swells. with relief. with dismay. “okay.”
she pecks your lips before standing up, thumb trailing down your cheek. “where’s your laptop? if your account is set up online, i can pay it now. i still have about forty-five minutes until i have to get back so i can wait with you until then.”
“it’s on my desk.”
sana nods once, turning on her heel to march into your room. the second she’s out of sight, you bury your face into her hands, burning with shame.
—
right after class ends, your phone vibrates.
you pick it out of your pocket, thumb grayling over your cracked screen to see sana’s contact photo flashing up at you; it was the one taken three weeks ago, with her smiling while you pressed a kiss to her cheek. you’re clicking the green button.
“hello?”
“i just realized you’ve never been to my apartment,” sana says, surprising you. “we’ve been together for almost two months and you’ve never seen my house.”
“oh.” your cheeks flush, pulse skipping at together. “you’ve never really brought it up before.”
“like a fucking idiot. do you wanna come over?”
your body warms in a near–sudden response, to your eternal horror, and with a bite of your lip. “sure.”
“cool! i’ll pick you up right now.”
“you're not working today?”
“no. i worked eighty hours last week so they gave me a day off. i’m on call, though, which is shitty anyway.”
“i’m sorry.”
“it’s fine,” sana dismisses. “so you’re still on campus?”
“yeah. i just got out of class.”
“alright, i’ll be there in twenty.”
“okay. bye.”
“bye.” sana says, but lingers on the line. for a moment, you think she’s forgotten to hang up, and moves to do it for her until she adds, softly, cutely you might think.
“i’m excited to see you.”
your heart thuds, and she hangs up before you can even say something back.
for twenty minutes, you wait near the entrance of the school, fiddling with your phone until sana texts you to come meet her. finding the car quickly, walking towards the sleek, gray two–seater of her vintage mercedes, and opens the door to see sana grinning at you. a pair of dark sunglasses sit on the bridge of her nose.
“hi,” sana smiles.
“hi.” you say back, hating at how shy you still get around her, considering. sana, though, always appears to take a bit of pride to it.
she chuckles, leaning back in her seat and shifting the car into drive, pulling into the main road. you settle in to watch the hypnotic motion of her hands as she turns the wheel—it almost makes you nostalgic for some reason.
“so,” sana says, turning onto the street. “how was class?”
“fine. just sat through a lecture.”
“about?”
“well, just the study of psychosocial development of erickson. how the different stages can be embedded by sociological challenges. you don’t want to hear the rest from me.”
“ah.” you suck a smile in; seeing the cogs in sana’s brain turning. “sounds interesting.”
“it’s a lot to cover. my professor was telling us about how some guest speaker that’s gonna be presenting next month. apparently she specializes in existential psychotherapy so i’m thinking of seeing that when it comes.”
“that’s really cool. do you know the name?”
“no.” you appreciate the effort that sana is showing. elizabeth, as wonderful and cool she was, tended to block you out sometimes: on the occasion she ever needed to. “what about you? how was work?”
sana groans. “terrible. a guy was rolled in with a bullet wound and was hemorrhaging like crazy. i was able to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out, but the anesthesiologist almost od’d him and killed him. idiot.”
“wow,” you say. “is he okay now?”
“yeah. but i’m never having that dumbass with me at the table again.”
“you might have to, though. you’re a new doctor, sana, i don’t know if you have the luxury of writing off your co-workers.”
sana smirks. “i might.”
flicking the blinkers on, she turns on the road that leads them deeper into the upper west side. sana drives into a small parking lot behind a tall building before pulling into a space. once the car shifts into park and the keys are yanked out, you step out, mouth parting as you take in the veritable skyscraper in front of you.
“you live here?!”
“yeah,” sana says, taking your hand. seeing the stupefied expression, grinning and leading you inside. a red-headed doorman greets sana as you make your way across the lobby. the elevator didn’t even feel like an elevator and once you got past sana’s front door, you’re in full flabbergasted mode—eyes open like saucers. sana smiles at your gasp but when her eyes flicker to you they narrow.
“i thought it would be a penthouse of sorts.”
“trust me, it is but at the same time it isn’t.”
sana’s apartment may not be as lux as you initially thought, but it’s still nice regardless. you can tell that it was costly, dark furniture andwide, open spaces and tall windows. the walls are painted with a light grey. a flat-screen plasma tv hangs in her living room, mounted over a fireplace. the black velvet leather couch is in front of it, clearly brand new.
her voice echoes the walls. echoes. you’re left marveling. “are you hungry?” sana asks from the dining area, “i have some food from the other day.”
“what do you got?”
“some leftovers from this dimsum place, pretty good actually.”
you giggle. “i thought you would have a much more sophisticated diet to fall back on.” meeting her at the kitchen island while she opens the box of food, tossing a bite into her mouth while you’re scanning through the dumplings.
“this is delicous.” you say in between bites, sana leaning over pressing a kiss to your temple. “you’re not eating as much, not enough craving?”
“i had some food earlier.”
“how earlier are we talking?”
“before i scooped you up.”
you hum while she feeds you another bite of the warm dumpling that melts so tenderly into your mouth.
the relaxing downtime with sana felt like a completely different world in her house. you got to know sana’s rough run down backstory of how she got to some form of power when it comes to dealing with which practitioner helps with her or not. being well-connected in her line of work was something to be fortunate with, but sana doesn’t like the idea of wealth being wrapped around her. sure, her clothes may be nice, demeanor brash and language abrasive at times, but she sees the world in a more different light compared to tzuyu and elizabeth on the topic of privilege.
as for how she got into her career of being a surgeon, she signed up for dual-enrollment in the last two years of her high school to graduate early. the calling of med school already being long in terms of time, so the sooner she could get out, the better.
“i like that,” you say. “i like how your mind works. i like—”
you. you almost say it. and it aches to not project it, the sudden sting of yearning. you, you, i really like you.
but catching yourself tripping up was something more of a simple defensive mechanism. “the story,” you finish. “pretty funny.”
“i have better ones.” sana says, grin lighting up her face, more radiant than sunlight. and her obliviousness burns twice as hot. “do you wanna hear about the time my friend bang chan and his best friend felix got mutual restraining orders back in college?”
—
you’ve read the name of tobio kageyama for probably the thirtieth time in two manga volumes before your mind decided to call for a needed break.
sitting upright from the couch, stretching and popping joints across the body. a look at the clock shows that it’s a little past eight, realizing that you’ve studied for roughly about two to three hours. too bad you didn’t notice it before because your brain is already bugging and battered into mush.
so you head to the kitchen, glass cup filled before drinking it once or twice before noticing that sana hasn’t drank any water since she took up a fortress in her office two hours ago, claiming that she had a work call. you fill another glass again, dropping a few ice cubes, before making your way towards her office door–knocking once, “hey, you busy?”
sana’s voice sounds muffled, weary. “no, come in.”
entering the room, hesitant like you were intruding on some sacred space. like the rest of her house, sana’s office was nice, richly-furnished. she has a tall, wooden desk in front of her, several files and stacks of paper placed on top. there’s a bookshelf behind in the corner, thick tomes marked by names that you don’t even want to try to read or recognize. the walls are also painted in a dark gray, and there’s a leather couch off to the left side with a blanket placed over it. even sana needs to have her naps sometimes.
sana then calls for your attention, glasses perched on the bridge of her perfect nose. “did you need something?”
“no,” you say, inching closer. raising the glass, “i just wanted to get you some water.”
she smiles in thanks, taking it from you while she approaches with an outreaching hand, grabbing the glass downing it in one gulp. frowning with a mild concern once she gave you back the glass, “were you thirsty?”
“a bit. i didn’t feel it until now.”
“are you hungry?”
“not right now. i’ll eat when im finished with this.”
“you should take a break,” you say, stepping towards sana. you lean back with your butt to the edge of her desk, half sitting. up close, you can see sana’s stress more evidently, eyes low with exhaustion. “sit on the couch with me. we can watch something together.”
“i can’t do that, y/n.”
“why not?” would a short film be better?”
“i have paperwork. a lot of paperwork. not to mention forms, test results, patient files. i want to try to get through them by tonight.”
“and you will,” you reply softly, stepping between her legs, resting your hands on her shoulders. “just ten or fifteen minutes of your time, please.”
“no way we’re watching a movie in ten minutes.”
“not the movie, you idiot. i was gonna say food instead, you should eat.”
“‘m not hungry.”
“not even a snack?”
sana lets out a smile, placing her hands on your hips. “i appreciate you for being concerned, baby, but i’ll be done soon. i promise. then we can go get something to eat together.”
looking down at the ground, hands still on shoulder. you’re smoothening the crinkles of sana’s large shirt, fingers brushing up from her neck up to her hair. you lean down and kiss sana fully on the lips, slowly, once, twice, a few times, and rest your knee on her chair between her legs. you break away a bit to pepper languid kisses across the slope of her jaw.
“relax,” you croon. “take a break with me.”
sana sinks into you, sighing like she’s expelling a pressure from deep within her chest. her eyes flutter closed, hands twitching around your waist, and when you dip down to kiss her throat, you feel the flushing heat rising from her body.
desire races to the forefront like a freight train, bowling over you with its inteistiey, and you’re running a hand up her thigh towards the center. sana gasps sharply into your parted mouth, fingers clutching around your waist. you’re nearly smiling.
“you’ve eaten me out before,” you whisper. “but you’ve never let me do the same for you.”
sana laughs but it’s off, brimming with echoes of a dark promise. “i find it more enjoyable when i eat up your pussy then have you eat mine. better for me to see you cry the way i want you to.”
there’s a thrill pulsing through your body, throbbing dully in your cunt. you’re ducking down to kiss her again, practically panging into sana’s open mouth as you palm her through her pants. her face is screwed up with a tight coil of pleasure, eyes shut. her fingers dig into the leather armrests at her side.
“let me,” you whisper again, almost begging. “i want to.”
sana’s eyes crack open, solely, regarding you as though you were something to be consumed. i want to, you think with a sort of nameless, desperate sense of urgency. i want you to.
she nods, and you kneel at her feet.
you’re kissing through her jeans first, soft, affectionate little pecks that make sana groan, fingers sliding up her legs again. you help sana clumsily unbutton her pants, shucking it down and off her thighs. the panties are quick to follow, only first with a trail of your lips over the black-laced fabric, soaked with her wetness that fills up your nose. sana is wrecked with the effect you have on her, just some light kisses and heavy petting, making your cunt fucking clench; you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who’s wanted you even half as much.
when sana’s panties are gone left with her shirt; the scent is intoxicating. her folds are glistening. she sighs of pure bliss when you lick up her slit, mouth lingering on her clit. her hips twitch from the initial contact. you stifle a smile when you shower a few more kisses, and she groans loudly when you part her legs, squeezing her inner thighs tightly the more you shove your face into her cunt.
you’ve eaten out girls before, but sana was more of an anomaly. to play it safe, you experiment, trying to see what she likes best. licking at her, teasing her walls with a finger, leaving teased kisses to the area outside of her pussy. sana can’t contain herself when she pulls your head back in with her hand, moaning into her core, the vibrations too overwhelming coming from your mouth to her legs.
“fuck,” sana moans. “fuck, y/n–baby, fuck. i’m gonna—”
nodding at her, you don’t let up the pace of tearing up her cunt. fingers in walls and grunting into her. she doesn’t even let you breathe. the heels of her feet on your shoulders as her hands are on the back of your head, nails scratching the scalp the more you’re lapping her up. only then you pull away as she coos out locking eyes with you, the sight of licking your mouth lean with your tongue from her slick almost makes her lose it from the seat.
“i’m gonna ruin you,” sana promises, snarling, gaze devouring, mad with want. it sends a deep vibration into your cunt while she looks up to the ceiling. “you won’t be able to walk.”
you could’ve just came right then and there, vision whiting out at the edges. somehow you kept your sanity in check, ducking your head for more fully. humming and sliding your tongue over her cunt, nibbling on her clit and with a sudden jerk followed by a sharp groan, she cums.
a whole assortment of papers, files, pens, and pencils are scattered to the floor as sana digs her hand beneath your shirt and rips it off of you. your lips meet hers for another frantic kiss, laying back as she’s settling over you.
she shoves your sweats down along with your panties, letting them dangle from your feet. sana then moves back to your chest, hands moving like a firebrand, searing your skin with every touch. desperate to feel more of it, you sit up slightly and unclasp your bra. the second you’ve tossed it, sana’s hands are quick to palm, mouth hot against your own as she swallows your keening sigh.
“you have the most perfect tits in the world,” sana breathes, thumbs circling your nipples, forefingers roving down to pinch. the sweet pleasure-pain sparks a heavy throb in your core, and she arches into you, spreading your legs wide. you moan when sana’s mouth is around your breast, the other hand folding you.
“god, sana, please,” you beg, clinging to her. your hips are twitching, the emptiness inside you turning into a physical ache.
“what is it, baby?” sana switches over to your other mound, tongue laving over your nipple. your eyes fluttering, mind spinning at the sight. “what?”
moaning helplessly, and her hand slides down to your cunt, thumb sliding up the wet gusset of your panties to find your clit. when she presses down, your hips jerk forward, shrieking. she’s laughing around your boob.
“yeah, there we go,” sana sighs out, rubbing at you languidly, moving slow with the roll of her hips. “that feels good, doesn’t it?”
“ye—ah—yes, yes it feels good.”
“i know.” sana kisses up to your throat, sucking the soft spot beneath your jaw, lips deceptively sweet. “but you want more, don’t you.”
more.
your stomach seizes at the thought of it, the promise. you grasp at her wrist and sana hisses, dipping her hand beneath underneath your underwear to slide a finger inside you. keening when she adds another digit, stretching you open—another sounds leaves your mouth and sana laughs when you’re clamping around her fingers.
“you feel so good like this, y/n. so good.” she watches as she fucks her fingers in and out of you, transfixed by the sight. almost resentful of her own body. “i wish i could live in you. i wish—”
“you could,” somehow croaking that out when she has four fingers inside. “i’d let you.”
sana lets her intrusive thoughts get the better of her, growling while she surges down your body. your panties are up in the air as she raises a leg up, thumb petting your clit. you’re rearing up with a shout, a splintering sound, bursting, but sana doesn’t give you any breathing room. next thing you know, she has the flat plane of her tongue swiping upward that pushes your undoing even faster.
it’s good enough to cry, you can feel the salt on your tongue when sana leans up again for another kiss before trailing down to your pussy. there’s a malformation with how the kisses are sloppier on your lips above and below, but the pleasure is good. she makes you feel like euphoria is an ever-present force that is kept within you, and it’s much deeper than the sex. the sprawling root of it is happiness, and sana.
“c’mon, y/n, my lovely girl,” sana says tightly, jaw clenching when she breathes over your clit. her eyes hazy like she might be the one to cum again. “give me another.”
you wrap your legs around her, canting up so that her mouth and tongue go deeper, and you both moan from it. sana’s finger finds your clit again, so wet the sound is purely obscene, but it only strokes the fire of your pleasure, makes it build higher and higher.
“that’s it. there we go. t-there—”
sana stops short. a bitten-off cry, and she doubles down on your clit. her fingers clench around your walls, and there’s a gentle wave—mouth parted to sigh.
she stays for a second, pulling her hand out examining the slimy fluid between the fingers, licking them seductively that makes you roll your eyes and look away. sana just laughs at you, “fuck you, for making me like this.”
your head hits the desk, “not sorry. i like it when you’re needy for me.”
she huffs out, “little minx. when i’m done with you—”
“what? i won’t be able to walk?”
sana’s face falls flat, but her eyes spark with lurid determination as she leans in and whispers, “everything i’ve gotten in life, i’ve had solely because i wanted it badly enough. you think that doesn’t apply to the things i wanna do to you?”
your heart hammers like a jack-rabbit. red-hot heat slowly consumes your face. “i—”
she moves off of you but keeps her arms bracketing your hips. “we’re moving to my room,” she interjects. “i need a bed if i want you to sit on my face.”
eyes were wide open while you managed to slip out of sana’s hold, scurrying to the bedroom down the hallway. sana’s signature laugh echoes as she chases you down behind.
—
it’s a bit chilly outside when mina calls you, the autumn weather creeping beneath your new coat to settle into your bones. hitching the collar up your neck for cover, and the phone is out from your pocket to see your cousin’s name. you’re repressing a sigh, picking up,
“hey.”
“yo.” mina has many greetings. “where are you right now?”
“i got out of class, walking to the subway.”
“are you by yourself?”
“yes,” you say. “obviously. why wouldn’t i be?”
“you usually have that slightly taller girl tagging along with you. the one with the model face.”
“tzuyu.” you correct sharply. “and you’re not wrong, but she has her own life. you know? a girlfriend?”
“and you? you got anyone?”
frozen, stumbling in your tracks. mina could be asking for curiosity, but you know your cousin too well; she’s not the kind to be asking unnecessary questions.
“no, i don’t,” you answer cautiously.
“are you sure?”
“why even bother asking me?” you retort, voice clipped. “even if i was seeing someone. i’d mention it right away, even with thanksgiving around the corner.”
“i don’t see what thanksgiving has anything to do with it.”
“most normal people introduce their partners to family, mina. not everything personal is some dirty little secret.”
“don’t you dare try to get snippy with me. i was just asking a question, not cuffing you to a table for an interrogation. chillax.”
you’re cringing with knitted brows, stepping down the stairwell into the subway station. it’s a lot warmer, “whatever. i just wanted to know why you were asking.”
“i was asking because you haven’t been calling me lately. i figured that someone else was taking up all of your time besides auntie.”
your jaw tenses. there’s this wave of guilt that makes your clinch your lip, voice much gentler when you follow up, “i’ve just been busy, mina. you know that.”
“yeah?” the customary ten seconds of loaded silence pass before mina adds, “speaking of busy, don’t come down for thanksgiving this year. i’m gonna be busy with work.”
work. the nameless occupation mina had never bothered explaining to you, not since you were in your teens. you’ve had your own suspicions and theories, but you never even had the frame of mind to confirm them yourself.
even with the disappointment; it’s actually comforting in a weird sense. “that’s fine. i have finals to get ready for anyway.”
“you’re not upset by this?”
“no.”
“and you’re not lying to me about anything, right?”
“no, mina.” you say, smiling ruefully. “why would i? when have either of us ever lied each other about anything?”
good as dammed, but there’s no care for it. i wouldn’t even matter anyway. it comes as a concern for how little tinges of that feeling is there still.
mina sighs out. “talk to you later then, if you do call me.”
you hang up after. the lasting thought of mina doesn’t even come afterwards.
—
not even more than two steps into the entrance hallway when the doorbell calls you.
you’re freezing, eating away at the fragile patience, but when you look through the peephole. you don’t think twice about opening the door. “tzuyu?”
she’s standing across from you, arms folded, foot tapping, and pouting. “you’ve been neglecting me.” she accrues.
“huh?” you ask stupidly while blinking in a fast state.
tzuyu rolls her eyes and breezes past you, chilling air carrying the rich scent of yves saint-laurent. you follow her into the living rom, watching her shuck off her louis vutton jacket and tosses it onto the seat.
“well?” she demands, whirling around to face you. “tell me what did she do to you?”
“what?”
“your little sugar mommy-doctor-girlfriend.”
“tzuyu–”
“whatever she did, she’s good enough to keep you from calling or texting your best friend for a week.”
“what?” you’re gasping out again. “a week? i haven’t…”
with a rush of the phone, you’re pulling up messages only to notice that you have, in fact, been ignoring tzuyu’s texts for the better part of a week. all of your besties messages. the only person you’ve kept consistent contact with is sana, and the last text you sent her was–
well—best to the imagination.
“i’m so sorry,” you breathe out, throwing your phone off to approach tzuyu, taking her mittened hands, gently directing her to sit on the couch. “i’m so sorry, tzuyu. i didn’t mean to ignore you or shuhua or irene or anyone, i just—”
“you’ve been preoccupied with your new girl?”
“yeah,” you admit, bit of shame hanging, but adding, “and school. dooyoung–the guy editing my thesis—says it’s coming together really nicely, so.”
tzuyu whoops, reaching out to shake your leg. “and you’ll be presenting it next semester! how do we feel about that?”
“pretty good.”
suddenly, her eyes soften, shifting closer. “i was mostly kidding, by the way, about you neglecting me. i remember how i was when i first got with shuhua. you couldn’t get me away from her.”
“it’s different, though.”
“what makes you say that?”
“because shuhua is your girlfriend and sana is my—”
you stop, horrified by the abrupt burn of tears. you turn away to conceal yourself, blinking hard, but tzuyu was always quick to notice. she wraps her arms around your elbow, leaning into your shoulder. “your sugar mommy,” she finishes gently, but you flinch like it’s a slap.
“yeah. that.”
“if it bothers you so much, then why are you staying with her?” i’m sure she’s given you enough that you have time to figure out another way to get money. it’s not like you need her.”
“yeah,” you reply dully, still not meeting eyes with tzuyu. your mind is playing the denial aspect a lot more tougher now. “you’re right. i don’t.”
—
with all things and struggles, you compartmentalize.
you’re refusing to think of the blooming feelings for sana more than you have to, and in the even that you can’t, distraction was the solution: school, work, friends. and on the rare occurrence as crazy it would seem, shopping.
“an IKEA drawer?” sana asks, baffled. you keep your phone between shoulder to ear. “why the fuck did you go to IKEA?”
“i needed to,” you answer, pushing the giant box inside of your apartment, leaning against the wall as it’s on the wall. “my other drawer was broken. i’ve had it for like, seventeen years, so i figured that it was time for a change.”
“and you could afford it?”
a rhetorical question. what sana’s really asking if the two bundred she sent you last week was a decent enough amount that you could splurge on. clenching your teeth, flushing.
“yes.”
“y/n, baby. i sent you the money so that you could go shopping.”
“i did. and i shopped at IKEA.”
“are you gonna build the drawer now?”
“yeah.”
“let me come over. i can build it for you/”
“sana, it’s fine. i’ve built furniture before.”
“so have i. in fact, i bet i could have it done in half the time it takes you to read the instructions.”
“oh really now?” cocking a brow in disbelief. “how soon can you come over?”
—
time didn’t really pass, staring at sana from the bed, chin resting on your palm as you watch her hiss and curse to herself, pink screwdriver in hand. the sweat rolls enticing down the hard ridges of her abs, her hair is up and out of her face in a knot. the most exhilarating part in all of this was watching him use her shirt as a sweat rag.
“are you sure you don’t—”
“i’m almost done,” sana snaps, eyes flashing with indignation. “just give me ten more minutes.”
true to her word, she was nearly done. the drawer stands tall in front of her, most of the pieces already constructed and put into place. all that’s missing is the top set of the drawers, which she has in her hands right now.
still, it’s only mildly entertaining just to watch sana. you debated studying to pass the time, but the focus wasn’t enough on your book to make it stick. reading was also out of the question, and texting irene went nowhere after she revealed that she was on a date and couldn’t speak. the news that things with her and seulgi were going well and exciting to hear, but not long after. sana’s shirt was off.
“it’s really fucking hot in here,” had been the excuse mainly.
“is this supposed to keep me distracted? you ask.
“i’m not trying to do anything. if you’re distracted, that’s your prerogative.”
liar. she’s been annoyed the second you stopped foching on her long enough to try facetime tzuyu.
you sigh, spitefully debating on what you can do to fluster sana. the limited options, though, tend to lean more in one direction and the idea of willfully doing any of them was embarrassing.
suddenly, she whoops. “i finished!”
you roll over on your stomach to see sana sliding the drawer into the top slot, circling it, pulling on different knobs to test the tightness and checking for smoothness of the pulling out and pushing in of the drawers. she grins at you, triumphantly. “i told you i could do it.”
“i never said that you couldn’t.”
“it was in your tone.”
you smile, and sana straightens up to bend something in her body. a loud crack sounds, followed by a pained sigh, and her eyes open more glazed. “fuck.”
soon after sana is laid flat on the mattress when you motioned her, face turned towards you with a look that says are you okay?
“my back. it’s been annoying me since work—fuck.”
you nick your head as you cautiously glide your hands over her skin, kneading the muscle softly, and sana just hums with relief. “keep doing that.”
straddling on sana’s ass, languidly moving your fingers up. she just melts. sana perks up when you giggle. “what?”
“nothing.”
“tell me.”
“i think it’s kinda bad for you to have back pain at your age, and it’s kinda mindblowing how active you are.”
“don’t be that dramatic, i’m not that old.”
“for someone that’s near thirty.”
“that’s a bit harsh.”
you giggle again before leaning down, lips skimming sana’s ear lobe. “i’m just teasing you.”
“you’re so fucked up for saying that, i’m only twenty-nine still.”
“don’t be so sensitive.” you say pressing a kiss to her nape. “not bad if you're in your early late twenties early thirties while i’m in my early twenties.”
sana sinks into you, like clay in your hands. when you move to the ridge of her cheekbone, she leans into you, turning her head to catch your lips. a languid kiss is shared, tongues melding, unhurried, but that fire is sparked between your hips and it becomes urgent. it’s a slow grind that’s rolled out, eyes fluttering at the friction.
you pull away while sana breathes out, “fuck,” and flips you over now that you’re straddling over her front. your hands are on her waist, and sana moves her leg up between your legs, doubling down on the notice that you’re not wearing anything underneath the shorts, lips parting.
she leans up to kiss you. sana always kisses you, mouth consuming like she wants to suck you inside. “i didn’t know you watching me build furniture would get you so hot.”
“everything you do gets me hot.”
sana moans and binds you up against her, hips bucking, delicious friction sending stars behind your eyes. you wrap your arms around her neck, panting into her mouth, so euphoric that you want to weep. so happy.
when she breaks way to squeeze your breasts, a loud knock sounds at the door, startling you. sana, however, is unmoved.
“ignore it,” she says, breath hot on your neck. “ride me.”
your eyes flutter and you’re grasping at her hair, already picturing it, the slick coming out of you on her leg, the fruition and contact deep enough to send you reeling. and then you hear it:
“y/n!” another loud knock, more insistent. “open the door!”
shit, you think, cursing, the word flying form your mouth now. “shit, shit.”
sana pulls away from you, concerned, but you’re already beating her in the scramble. she watches you rush to the mirror to fix your hair.
“what’s up? who is that?”
“mina,” you breathes, cold panic pulsing through your veins. “my cousin.”
“oh, well—”
“it’s a bigger deal than you think,” you snap. “and stay here. she can’t see you.”
sana’s eyes widen. “what–?”
“stay here, sana.”
you rush out of the room and hurry towards the front door. through the peephole, you see mina on the other side, arms crossed and expression stoic. you exhale deeply before opening the door, forcing a smile.
“hi, mina.”
she hums in greeting, shoulders knocking as she walks past you. when she spots the IKEA box, she stops short.
“you bought furniture?”
“yes,” you answer hesitantly, clammy fingers clasped behind you. “i needed a new drawer.”
“why didn’t you tell me?”
“i need to call you every time i buy furniture?”
“no. but these things sell for three hundred bucks. it’s expensive.”
“this one was on sale. one–fifty.”
mina makes a deep sound in her throat, unsatisfied, but her journey is continued throughout your apartment.
“so, uh. what are you doing here?”
“it’s thanksgiving tomorrow.”
“oh. i thought…you told me not to come. you said you were busy.”
“some time opened up in my schedule,” she says, and finally stops long enough to look at you. her eyes were shrewd, filled with knowing. it only raises the sirens going off in your head louder. “i decided to come see you.”
“ah,” you breathe. “well, um. i didn’t buy any food. maybe we can order–?”
“why are you so flustered? mina interrupts. “is there something going on?”
“what? no, no, of course–”
“mina?” icy pinpricks poke your skin, and you slowly turn around to see sana standing in the hallway. her clothes and hair have been fixed, and she smiles at mina with a polite curiosity.
your cousin’s expression sours instantly. “who the fuck is this?”
“mina!”
“who is this. why is she in you apartment?!”
sana walks towards mina, unphased by the insult. she sticks her hand out, “my name is minatozaki sana. nice to meet you.”
mina peers at sana, neck tilted at an angle that would be comical if not for the fact that you feel like throwing up. finally, she looks at you again.
“we need to talk.”
#hyunie#sana x reader#twice x reader#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#twice sana#sana#minatozaki sana#minatozaki sana x reader#twice x you#twice imagines#sana imagines#sana minatozaki#twice fluff#twice smut#sana smut#sana twice
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Can I suggest a lewis hamilton fic where the reader is their teammate they've basically been through through thic and thin and they have an argument abt lewis not tell you abt going too ferrari and they confess their feelings and let their frustrations through sex??? (( THIS IS LITERALLY SOO MUCH TOO ASK FOR SO UF YOU CAN WRITE IT ITS FINEEE)) - anon 🌺
lost in the fire — LH44 x reader
cw: switching control, sexual tension, angry sex, dirty talk, age gap
note: first ff I write in a while, please y’all be kind with my english :3 hope you like it, I thirst way too much for this man
masterlist
The way the evening is ending is making you nervous and you’re not very good at hiding it. Well, you didn’t expect to discover the worst news possible in the middle of the after party of a fashion show in Paris and above all you didn’t expect to hear that from a stranger and not from the person concerned. Such person concerned is now driving you back to your Paris hotel because according to him you are “too upset” to take your own car.
Now, while you’re looking outside the window without saying a word, you hope he told someone to take your car to the hotel, or you swear to God you’re gonna scream to his face. You want to scream to his face so bad.
The city night lights are magical but you can’t think about anything that isn’t what you had just discovered. The atmosphere is awkwardly silent. Lewis is keeping his sight straight on the road, hands on the wheel. His profile is a picture you know way too well. It’s obvious he wants to say something. Anything.
“You know we’re still gonna see each other every week, right?”
“That’s not the point.”
He lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re not.”
“I am.”
“I’d rather not talk about it right now.”
“Then what do you wanna talk about?”
“Nothing.” You miss the awkward silence.
You already had arguments during your friendship/coworking/whatever that is, but never like that. That’s different. You feel hurt.
He finally reaches the hotel. He can’t stop right in front, so he parks in the next street. You open the door.
“I’ll walk you.”
“You don’t have to.”
He gets out of the car anyway. You’re not surprised he’s acting like a gentleman even when you’re so angry you could punch him. “It’s 2 AM and I won’t leave you alone.”
You walk alongside him, trying not to look at his open jacket. The fact that he’s wearing absolutely nothing under it isn’t helping. Damn this man and his impeccable fashion sense. “You weren’t so kind when you lied to me about your new contract.” At this point you don’t even care if people hear you argue.
“I didn’t lie.”
“Oh right, you just forgot to tell me.”
“I was going to.”
“When? When you’re already driving a Ferrari car? Don’t worry I’m not colourblind.” Great, now you reached the point where you can’t keep your mouth closed. And he’s following you to your room because he’s just like you, he has to have the last word.
“Soon. And stop using that sarcastic tone with me, I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Of course, my bad, you’re always right about everything. You’re so selfish and childish, running away from the things you love just because you’re scared.” You ask yourself if you’re provoking him too much. No, he deserves that. You’re about to open the door with the electronic key when he takes you wrist and pulls you away. He stands right between you and the door, preventing you from getting in. “Leave me alone.”
“I’m not scared, I don’t like to be ignored. You are the selfish one here, not trying to see things from my point of view. You think it’s so easy for me?” He’s raising his tone. He never did it with you and now you find yourself holding back the tears. “You can’t even imagine what does it mean to leave my team, to leave my friends, to leave… you. But I can’t stay anymore, it’s dragging me down and you know it.”
Those words touch your heart. You feel sorry for him but you just can’t forgive him. You simply can’t stand the thought of racing without him as your teammate. “Then why didn’t you tell me? We can fix this, we can make changes and…”
“I don’t want change, I want to be myself and I want to be listened to. I would have told you sooner but I didn’t want to hurt you. See, now you’re hurt and I don’t know what to do because…” You’re eyes are on him but he’s looking down. He’s still holding your wrist and you bet he feels your heartbeat going faster than him in a Mercedes. “Because I care about you and I don’t want to lose you.”
You try to release from his grasp but he pulls you close. “Well done, now you lost me.”
“You sure?”
“I hate you.”
He kisses you, immediately moving his other hand to your neck to pull you even closer. His dreads brush your shoulder. You try not to shake for the emotions filling you. You lose yourself in the kiss. You can’t think about anything else than your tongues tangled, so you completely forgot you’re still in the hallway. Lewis takes the electronic key from your hand and unlocks the door. He brings you in and closes it behind your back, pushing you on the door. It frustrates you that he always has you under his thumb, no matter how much effort you put into escaping it.
He wouldn’t force you to do anything, ever. You know that he will keep away his hands if you won’t make a move in that direction. However the moan you let slip makes him inevitably smile. You lick the gap between is teeth and proceed to kissing him more passionately.
He shouldn’t dare to laugh at you right now, not even if you’re probably about to explore each other bodies. You put your hands on his chest and push him on the wall of the bedroom so violently that you worry you’ve hurt him. Bold of you to even think you can hurt a F1 driver’s back. A seven times world champion F1 driver’s back.
Your hands travel under his jacket, brushing his nipples and causing him to hold his breath. His naked chest feels smooth. There’s no better feeling than having him finally in your hands. It’s a dream coming to reality.
“Oh you hate me so much.”
Can he read your thoughts? Or did he just say that because you’re mapping his upper body with your fingers? His kisses continue on your chin, then on your jaw and then on your neck. They’re soft yet so hot. You want to reply but you’re too worried to make another sound. His strong hands are now on your hips, they slide up to your waist, stroking it up and down, his mouth now reaching your naked shoulder and leaving marks on it.
He’s definitely now in control of the situation, as always. You want to regain it, but he’s good at making you melt under his palms. You want him in you so bad and you’ll have him. You take him by his jacket and drag him in front of the bed, quickly getting rid of his jacket. You push him on the white bed sheets, climb and sit on top of him. You can feel him hard.
He has the body and the face of a young god, he’s so flawless that makes your almost 20 years age difference look 0.
“Take off your clothes.” He commands.
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
You pin his hands on his sides and begin slightly moving your hips. His eyes turn to the ceiling for a moment and his breath becomes louder. “You can’t torture me like this.”
“I think you deserve that.”
You stop and sit back in his lap. He looks up at you with his dark bambi eyes. They’re the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. You take a moment to appreciate the sculpted inked chest he likes posting on instagram so much, thinking about all the times you spent trying to hide how jealous those fuckboy pictures make you feel. Maybe the jokes you always make on the topic betray you.
“Does this mean you forgive me?”
You’re unsure about that, but what you’re definitely sure of is that you’re falling deeply in love with this man. Those puppy eyes are making you regret all the bad things you said to him.
That doesn’t change that you’re still mad. “We’ll see.”
He helps you unzip your dress, moving his hands across your back and slowly down on your ass, and you let him. The straps of your dress fall down on your arms and he stands in order to press his mouth on your collarbone. He takes your dress off, it falls down on the moquette. “I want you.” He gets rid of your bra and begins kissing your breasts like they’re the sweetest fruit on Earth. “I want you so bad.”
Years of friendship colliding into that moment. You want to shout, insult him, hurt him because it hurts you so much watching him leave, but the only words that escape from your mouth are: “L-Lewis I–“. You bite your bottom lip.
You can see through his pleased smirk that he couldn’t wait to make you eat that “I hate you”.
He takes advantage of your moment of weakness to take back control. He flips your positions and frees you both from the last clothes. God, his arms are perfect. “Open wide for me, darling.” His hands on your thighs are making you unable to speak. “Good, just like that.” He licks his lips at the sight of your wetness.
You can’t take it anymore. “Stop playing Lewis, just… just do it.”
He bends over you, a few centimetres from your mouth. “Pretty please?”
“Shut up and fuck me.”
And so he does.
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Hi Jade! Had an idea for a Sirius fic (or poly if that’s something you feel like writing for!) where r loves dogs and animals but gets kinda scared when meeting them (especially large ones) in real life. So Sirius is all sweet with her as padfoot as a way to help her get over her fear. Love you!!! You’re truly such an amazing writer ❤️❤️
thank you, I love you ♡ and thank u for ur request!! —a stray dog befriends you on the way to sirius' flat. fem!reader, 1.3k
You're walking from the costcutters to Sirius' block of flats when you feel as though you're being followed. You look around in a sweep, but can't spot anybody besides a handful of children in the park across the street.
Feeling weary, you pick up your pace and slide your phone from your pocket. I'm five mins from ur flat, you text. If anything happens, he'll know you were here.
Childish giggles ride the breeze. You look back over your shoulders to see why, not for any particular reason beyond curiosity, only to see their short fingers pointing and waving at a scruffy black dog trotting behind you.
You flinch on impulse. He's not an especially scary dog, but his appearance is a surprise. He has no collar, no leash.
You stop walking, worried he might come closer. You love animals in theory, but you're anxiously disposed. Things that move quickly make you flighty.
The dog stops a couple of feet from you. His head tilts left, tongue darting out of his mouth.
"Hi, puppy," you say nervously.
Like he can understand the irony, he sits down on his back legs and shakes his head, ears flopping from one side to the other. He's a very big dog.
You frown. He's not cute enough to make you feel confident in approaching him —you've seen how bad some injuries can be from animal attacks. Sirius always tells you to chill out, The chances of that happening to you are so low, doll. You don't have to worry about it every time you see a dog. I'll get you a taser.
I don't wanna tase a dog, even if it is trying to eat me, you'd said, flabbergasted.
Sirius laughed at you. I don't know what to tell you, then. I'll just have to go with you everywhere.
"Bye, puppy," you say, spinning on your heel.
You walk briskly. The dog follows. You're afraid to turn to check on him, listening to his footsteps on the pavement, the scratch of his nails. He'd chase you if he were going to hurt you, right?
You turn back around slowly, wondering if he can smell the packet of bacon you'd bought for Sirius' roommate and best friend, James. If you feed it to the dog, James won't want to forgive you (he needs mucho protein, apparently), but he probably will if it's to save yourself from harm.
You look up from the corner store bag. The dog has laid down and bared his stomach to you, tongue lolled out the side of his mouth and panting. You swear he wiggles his legs to entice you in.
"Oh, um." You put the bacon back in the bag. "You want a stroke?" you ask gently.
His tail wags across the pavement.
The walk to meet him is nerve-wracking. You extend your hand first to let him sniff you, flinching as his head comes up and he investigates your scent. He gives your index finger a quick lick.
"Are you friendly?" you ask in the same gentle tone as before. "Please don't bite me, okay? My boyfriend, he acts like he's tough," —you extend your hand to the dogs face and stroke his jaw— "and he kind of is, but when I get hurt he goes crazy." You pop your bag down and use your newly freed hand to scratch his tummy tentatively. When he doesn't growl, you give it a good go. "Aw, you're gorgeous. You're not gonna bite, I can see that. Siri was right. He's right about nearly everything."
The dog curls in toward your hand and starts licking you appreciatively.
"You're lovely," you praise. "Where's your home? Do you have someone to look after you?"
He licks you again. It's kind of gross in a cute way, or cute in a gross way. Sometimes when Sirius is feeling disgusting he'll lick a big playful stripe up your neck between kisses, though you have less fear of rabies when that happens.
"I don't want to make any promises, but I can make you some dinner. Siri's a devoted vegetarian, but his friend treats me like his little meat delivery girl, so he owes me a couple of rashers if you want them." The dog snorts. You giggle happily. "Ew! Don't sneeze on me, handsome, I need to look presentable!"
The dog tilts his head. You pretend it's quizzical, rubbing his belly enthusiastically. "I want to look pretty for my boy. Might be difficult if I'm covered in mucus, and I need all the help I can get– woah! Holy fu–"
You fall back on the heels of your hands as the dog jumps into your lap. You push your face into your shoulder in fear, but the dog doesn't hurt you. He snuggles up to your chest and licks at your chin.
"You're a good boy. Maybe I shouldn't be so scared of doggies after all," you say, sighing with relief. "Good boy. If you come home with me I'll make you some dinner, okay?"
The dog is remarkably smart. He follows you home and waits at the door, sitting smartly by a potted plant. You race up stairs to Sirius and James' flat and knock on the door.
"Hi," James says, giving you a genial smile as he lets you in. "Sirius isn't home from work yet."
"Sorry for bursting in on you," you say sheepishly. "I brought your bacon! And I was wondering if I could ask you for a favour."
James is happy enough to give you some diced chicken he'd been keeping for his meal prep. Which is to say, he'll have to cook more, but he's a nice guy, and thankful that you always ask him if he needs anything before you come over. You rush downstairs again, breathless as you push open the door of the building.
"Puppy?" you ask.
"Not my favourite pet name, but I'll take it."
Sirius stands where you'd left the dog, tucking hair behind his ears. It's standing up every which way.
"Did you see the dog?" you ask urgently.
"Nope, just me out here."
You tip your head back in defeat. "I promised a stray I'd give him something to eat."
"A stray?" he asks, pulling a bobble from his wrist. He begins scraping bedraggled curls from his face, disarming you with the sight of his tense biceps and his hiked shirt.
"I'm not sure what kind of dog it was, but it was– it was big."
"Yeah? Didn't scare you, did it?" he asks in concern.
You hug James' tupperware to your chest, trying to seem less proud of yourself than you are. Sirius has this way of making you feel like you're a wonder with his eyes alone, dark gaze roaming your face like he knows something you don't.
He drops his arms to his sides. "I knew you'd be okay. They're not so different from puppies, big dogs. Was he excited?"
"He let me scratch his tummy."
"That means he really likes you," Sirius says, holding his hand out for you. You place your hand in his. "We'll keep an eye out for him, alright? You know, I heard dogs like fruit, like, apples and bananas. Maybe you can feed him fruit salad?"
You preen as he rubs your upper arms together, leading you back to the door, though his comment is puzzling. "You don't think he'd like the chicken?"
"Nah."
"How do you know?" you ask, bemused.
Sirius looks very sure, bringing your joined hands up to his lips to kiss your ring finger. "Funny feeling."
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#sirius x reader fluff#sirius black imagine#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#marauders era#marauders#sirius black drabble#sirius black scenario#sirius black oneshot#the marauders#sirius orion black
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🩸 — 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!
since the spooky season is fast approaching, and as a little kinktober appetizer, @psychedelic-ink and i have decided to do a little writing challenge to get us all excited and in the mood to be gripping the sheets from the spooky thrills of course.
and to keep this fun we have given you many many options! we have compiled a twelve day prompts list you can go by, or if that's not your thing we have listed twenty three different pick and choose options to create whatever kind of fic you want, even if you want to do half the days daily prompts but switch out this prompt dialogue for that au or trope or kink, you can literally do whatever your heart desires!
THE RULES.
the challenge will go on from the 19th - 30th of this month. you can do as many or as little amount of days as you choose.
any fandoms are welcome, literally any characters, ships, but please no rpf.
no minors should be interacting with let alone posting for this challenge.
dark content, light content, dubcon/noncon, is all welcomed but please tag everything accordingly. grooming, underage, and incest however are not allowed.
there are no word limits but please use that readmore.
tag #hauntedhoedown so we can read and reblog your work!
DAY ONE: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."
DAY TWO: murder plot au (lets kill this person together) + "crawl to me"
DAY THREE: inspired by your favorite lana del rey song (if not a lana fan then any fav song of yours) + stalker / yandere au or love triangle gone wrong
DAY FOUR: artificial intelligence au + "here, you are. you tiny thing."
DAY FIVE: gothic au + “worship me. until i tell you to stop.” + a masquerade au or a good ol' priest au
DAY SIX: animal shapeshifter au + "he's a monster" + "he's perfect"
DAY SEVEN: stranded au or slasher / summer camp au + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)
DAY EIGHT: cosmic horror au + "you're a fucking nightmare. kiss me."
DAY NINE: “do you like it when i bleed for you?” + the toxic exes trope or cult au
DAY TEN: zombie apocalypse au + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."
DAY ELEVEN: black swan au or inspired by your fav psychological thriller + “they die for love, you kill for it.”
DAY TWELVE: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."
if following the above isn't your thing and you want to pick and choose yourself that's great! we also highly rec this random generator if you wanna live life by the edge, each category has 23 options to pick and choose from so customize the generator accordingly!
AUs:
steampunk / cyber punk
fairytale retelling
revenge
mythology / monster
virtual reality
gothic
taboo (see great options here)
slasher
game gone wrong
witchcraft
addams family
bonnie and clyde
spy / secret agent
assassins
x-files
circus / carnival
hitch hiking
basement wife
time travel
urban legend(s)
american horror story inspired
vampire / supernatural
pirate / mermaid
DIALOGUE PROMPTS:
"do you like when i touch you like this? i can keep going if you want me to."
"i can see how badly you want this, so i'm going to make sure you get it."
“this fear you feel? it won't last.”
“you are mine, whether you agree or not.”
“why do you keep following me?”
"i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together."
"you're not actually scared are you? of me?"
"i'm so close, can you feel it?"
"tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, no matter the cost."
"you're like a sickness, a disease, and the only way for me to be cured of you is to let you completely consume me until my body has no fight left."
"i want to see you bleed."
"they're dead...because of you."
“i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”
“everything i've done.. every horrible atrocity, it's been for you.”
"it's just a little blood."
“don't you know how sick with love i am for you?”
“i would burn the world for you.”
"this is so fucked up." "you like it."
"finders keepers."
"what's your favorite scary movie?"
"tell me you want me back. tell me i'm forgiven."
"you're a monster." "that's never stopped you before."
"i've killed for you, who else can say that?"
TROPES:
mob / mafia
soft!dark
dubcon / noncon
soulmate / fated mates
mind control / telepathy
cheating
final girl
once is not enough
haunted manor
dark academia
enemies to lovers
haunted object
vengeful ghost
coven
ritual / sacrifice / blood magic
unrequited love
creation / creator vs monster
'i'll find you in every universe / century'
reverse harem
cursed / fuck or die
curiosity killed the cat
theatre phantom
fate worse than death
KINKS:
biting
corruption / authoritarian
somnophilia
begging
dacryphilia
breath play
knife play / blood play
jealousy / sharing / possessive
aphrodisiacs
hunter / prey
humiliation / degradation
mirror sex
deprivation / immobilized / bondage
costume
size
orgasm denial / overstimulation / edging
body worship
shotgunning / swallowing / facial
gagging
torture / surrender
hate sex / make up sex / phone sex
magical healing [redacted]
soft!dom / pleasure!dom
ETC PROMPTS:
a summer fling gone horrible wrong, or right
1970s porno filming (turned into a blood bath)
touch her and die except who the hell are you and why are you obsessed with me?
a trip to the circus (or carnival) ends with you stuck there...forever
you just inherited this creepy mansion where people where murdered what could go wrong?
a ritual gone wrong and now i'm bound to a demon
if 'this person' ever found out about this they would kill both of us (literally)
oh no i'm dating the town serial killer
passionate professor tells me to prove my devotion to the craft / class by doing something insane
we're the last people on the planet and you will be mine
daydreaming about being with you is better than actually being with you because i missed all the red flags and now it's too late
i got casted out of my world and ended up wounded and bloodied in your backyard, convince me why i shouldn't destroy your world out of anger
vampire has a taste for specific blood and looks like you have it
the creepy neighbor is too hot to be insane, right?
i keep seeing them in my dreams and i wake up with bruises and marks on my skin, it's definitely just wild dreams, right?
loving you is easier than hating you
got stranded in some little town that seems so cute, until night hits
'this person' ordered me to kill you but i actually think i'm in love with you
my lover is wearing the same costume as you and i can't tell the difference but i'm pretty sure it's them i'm fucking in this closet...pretty sure
confessing to a murder via a silly little ghost story around a campfire (but someone reads through the lies)
how far would you go for love? for the one you love?
in a past life you were the cause of my death so i'm here to exact revenge now that i've found you
we're at a fun little horror movie reenactment except people are really dying
we tried to make this writing challenge as fun and very 'choose your own adventure-like' as much as possible because we know how hard it is to stay motivated when doing these things.
so please feel free to use any and all of the prompts, tropes, kinks, etc as you wish. we're just super excited to see what ya'll come up with!!
so good luck and stay slutty spooky <3
#if yall don't participate in this i will actually cry lmao#haunted hoedown#writing challenge#kinktober#! challenges
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Can i request follower!Narinder x follower!reader who's kind heart person? Like they always want to help other even tho they rude to them,and they forgive them eventually but Narinder cannot handle seeing his spouse being disrespectful.
I want this to be oneshot angst/fluff pls thank you and have a nice day/night🥰
"How goes...your marriage..?"
"Hmph..hello to you too, sister." Narinder rolled his eyes as he sat by the pond with a bowl of stew, hoping for some peace and quiet.
But of course, ever since his siblings arrived into Lamb's cult and learned that he was betrothed to a mortal..he hasn't known such things.
He could tolerate Heket at the very least, since Kallamar was off flirting with gods-know-who, Leshy was on a missionary, and Shamura was reading their usual books.
"It fairs well. I sometimes find it funny.."
"Hm?"
"Shamura surely couldn't have predicted that I would become wedded to a measly mortal..let alone find myself in my vessel's cult. I was to sacrifice them and all of Lamb's followers. Yet when I ended up here..[y/n] was the first to reach out a hand and help me find my place." The black cat huffed. "When others mocked me..they defended my name day and night despite my past transgressions, willing to lookover the fact I once thought of them as nothing but a pawn in my game."
"You've..gotten soft..brother.." Heket lightly teased, earning her a scowl from him. However, something in the distance caught her eyes, and she tensed. "Go."
"What? Go away, you mean?" He blinked in confusion, taken aback by her command as he sneered. "I open my heart up to you, and you have the nerve to-?!"
"[Y/n]." She simply pointed, and he followed her gaze to the drinkhouse where you were trying to help a drunken follower stand on their own two feet.
While you could normally handle that sort of thing, something about it didn't sit right with Narinder. They were acting rather belligerent, babbling nonsense and causing a barrel to topple over, all while refusing to surrender their empty glass.
Only then he remember you were the bartender for today and were trying to close up shop.
He got up, deciding to let Heket finish his stew, and began walking over. His footsteps were silent as to not draw attention to himself.
He wanted to observe how you'd handle the situation.
"Please, go rest." You gently tried to urge the inebriated follower. "You've had enough."
"Don't touch meeeeeee...I ain't-" A hiccup interrupted them as their face became redder, words so slurred you could hardly understand them. "I ain't gonna..go anywherrre.."
"I'm afraid you must, I'm sorry-"
"Nooooo...I don't wanna be handled by some...idiot who slept with the One Who Waits!"
You froze. "Pardon?"
"Whatdya see in that guy anyway? He haaaates us all..he was..gonna kill us, right? And Lamby, too?" They grumbled, now sounding completely serious and irate. "Why don't you wanna be with Lamby? Or me? Or someone who isn't a monster...do ya hate us, too?"
"No, I don't hate anyone." You tried to reassure them. "But it's rude to speak of Narinder that way."
"But his stupid siblings..they...they hurt us so much because of him!" Tears began filling their eyes, their expression growing angrier. "Why did they have to come? What they did to us...was 'cuz of HIM! EVERYTHING is his fault!!!"
"I hear your pain, my friend. I really do. But Lamb believed-"
"WHAT ABOUT WHAT I BELIEVE?!" They raised their empty glass in a threatening manner, and you flinched, taking your hands off their robe in preparation for an attack.
But before anything could happen-
A black paw grabbed their wrist, claws digging into their flesh. Not enough to draw blood, but just enough to make it hurt and divert their attention to a certain angry feline.
"How irritating.." A trio of red eyes pierced through Narinder's veil as he scowled down at the follower. "I don't know whether you're more annoying now or when you're sober. You may scorn Lamb to your heart's content..but to threaten my spouse is a line you'll regret ever crossing. Now go lie down before I make you."
With a nod and a quiet whimper, they shakily set the glass down on the counter. And the moment he let their wrist go, they took off stumbling all the way to their shelter.
You frowned a little. "Darling, it's my job to lead them to-"
"They'll find their own way. Whatever they break can be fixed in no time." Narinder dismissed as he went to clean off the glass, while you plugged up the beer kegs for the night.
But as he rubbed and twisted the rag, he began thinking about what might've happened had he not intervened when he did..and it only made him angrier.
What if the glass was still full and they decided to spill it?
What if they threw it at your head?
What if they left tiny shards in your flesh and caused blood to pour down your face?
What if-?
*crack*
A sudden sharp pain in his paw pad made him wince slightly, realizing that the cup broke apart, a piece of glass now embedded in his own flesh.
Great.
"Oh no, let me take care of that for you, love."
He perked up at your voice, seeing you pull out a pair of tweezers and a roll of bandages from your robe pocket. "I can do it myself, you know."
"And risk getting more blood on the counter?" You pointed out the red splatters on the oak. "Heavens no."
Narinder chuffed, eventually turning his paw over and allowing you to tend to his injury. "Why do you allow them to speak to you that way? And being drunk is no excuse. They knew damn well what they were saying. They've disproved of our relationship from the start."
"So have plenty of others, including your own siblings, Nari. They'll come around eventually. I have all the faith in them."
"[Y/n]..they almost smashed a glass over your head. And I stopped them from doing so." He growled, frustrated at your lack of outrage. "You are content in letting such disrespect continue without punishment? Without consulting Lamb? If we cannot do anything about it, surely they can."
"I will let it go this one time. But only because I believe they won't do it again. I think they learned their lesson thanks to you." You simply reassured him, before you finished wrapping the gauze around his paw.
With a smile, you brought it up to your lips and kissed it, eyes flickering up to him. "You needn't worry, my darling. I am okay."
"...I'm not worrying about anything." Narinder scoffed, having difficulty hiding the blush beneath his fur. "I simply refuse to tolerate imbeciles who make obscene assumptions about us, thinking there'd be no repercussions."
"Of course, but in any case..thank you for coming to my defense."
"Hm.."
"Now come." You gently tugged him away from the drinkhouse, looping your arm around his. "I believe we have some farming plots to attend to. I promised Lamb I'd work on them in Leshy's steed, but what say...you pick out the seeds you wish to plant this time?"
Narinder's ears perked. "Hah. I thought you were about to tell me to gather fertilizer." He chuckled quietly. "You are too good to me sometimes."
"Well, I figured you could use a break. Come, come!"
And so he followed you to the farming area. While he could sense Heket still staring at him, knowing her grin was smug as ever, he didn't care about what she was thinking--or what anybody in the cult was thinking for that matter.
All that he cared about right now was vegetation would prosper best on this warm spring day.
#clanask#anonymous#cult of the lamb x reader#cotl x reader#narinder x reader#cotl narinder#cotl narinder x reader#fluff#angst#angst/fluff
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hii, congrats on 500 followers! if it’s okay, i’d like to request idia, trey and leona with D, J, K, M, and T for the NSFW alphabet ^^
🍓AGH I FORGOT YOU LAST NIGHT! I'm so sorry, I was so tired I didn't even notice you among the full list of requests. Please find it in your heart to forgive me!
TW: Idia is REALLY fucking weird; Incest mention (NOT between Ortho and Idia); Idia being a creep; Idia's kinks; Idia
Idia
D - Dirty Secret: Idia is known to watch the cameras at NRC. What people don't know is those cameras are EVERYWHERE (minus the dorm rooms and bathrooms). He sees the students "sneaking around" in broom closets and darkly lit hallways. He hears the muffled whines and moans of "exhibitionists" trying not to get caught. Little do they know they've had his eyes on them the whole time and he's enjoying himself right along with them. It's even better if you're involved (in the case that you're not together, though he's not against cuckolding completely). Seeing his crush be dominated (or do the DOMINATING) by someone else gets him all hot and bothered.
J - Jack Off: He is in a sexual relationship with his right hand. He jacks off all the fucking time -- at least thrice daily. It's always to the worst shit imaginable too, like fucked up incest hentai, anime girls that are HARDLY legal, the shit you'd imagine a shut-in to be into. He's embarrassed by it, 'cause the shit he does is so gross. He'd find it hot if you wanted to watch him though. He'd be all whiny and shy about it, but it's honestly the sexiest thing he's ever done.
K - Kink: The better question is what kink does he NOT have? Roleplay, marking, hardcore bdsm, cuckolding, blah blah blah. You name it, he's considered it and gotten off to it at least once. However, his favorite thing? Soft mushy sex. The kind where you hold his hand and tell him how good he's doing, how well he gets you off, how big his dick is, how pretty he is when he cries. Ugh, that's the shit for him.
M - Motivation: Brushing his hand with yours is enough to make him pop a boner. You can't blame him though, he's never felt the touch of another person who isn't his literal family.
T - Toys: Yeah of course he uses toys. He has a collection (that he HIDES like it's the nuclear codes or something) that he uses on himself when he feels like it. If you wanted to use them on him he wouldn't be opposed... if you want him to use them on you, well, that's even better.
Trey
D - Dirty Secret: Believe me or not, Trey is a fucking perv. He's REALLY ashamed of it because he's Heartslabyul's resident good-boy big brother. He's a role model for most of his dorm mates, so him creeping on the other guys in the locker room isn't something he wants to get out. Oh yeah, he's a panty sniffer lol.
J - Jack Off: Despite being a perv, he doesn't feel a need to get off all that often. Back at home, he doesn't have the time or privacy to. So he just learned to deal with a raging boner. However, when he does, which is rare, he prefers the fantasy of you under the table sucking him off during class over anything porn can offer.
K - Kink: Trey isn't all that kinky, other than the whole panty-sniffing thing. He likes things simple and easy, but he enjoys a power-dynamic kind of situation a lot. Never tell anyone this, but if you wanna play step-siblings with him, it's probably the hardest he ever cums in his life.
M - Motivation: Giving him personal attention over anyone else is a surefire way to get him up and going. Especially when other people want your attention, and you just hard focus on him. Sevens, he loves that, fuels a very rare possessive side of him that he doesn't let out often.
T - Toys: Nah, Trey's a pretty "I'm gonna do it myself" kinda guy. If a toy can give you more pleasure than he can, he's not really doing his jobe right, is he?
Leona
D - Dirty Secret: He wants to be DOMINATED. Put him in his PLACE, call him a good kitty, make him grovel, and beg for you to let him cum. It's his ultimate fantasy, and he wouldn't EVER admit it to anyone -- especially not you. He can't let you know you could have that power over him. (He's a hard dom until he's not, lol).
J - Jack Off: A lot of people say that Leona doesn't jack off but like...? Are we talking about the same character? There is NO WAY he doesn't just lay in bed and stroke it on a really lazy day. Like, yeah he doesn't particularly enjoy it, he'd rather have you, but you have to do what you have to do to get off.
K - Kink: Leona, surprisingly, isn't into anything too humiliating for his partner. I mean, he's got a humiliation kink that goes both ways -- but that's completely verbal degradation stuff. He's a choker, but he'd never slap you. He's pretty much into everything you'd expect a hard dom to be into, but he'd never physically hurt you. It's against his moral code.
M - Motivation: It's hard to get him motivated if he's not into something. So really, there's nothing that gets him motivated, he either wants to fuck you or he doesn't and nothing's changing his mind. Even that pretty silk set he bought you. He's tired now, come take a nap with him. (If you're insistent, he'll eat you out or smth, but don't expect much more than his mouth and hands.)
T - Toys: Leona, like Trey, is very much an "I can do it myself, we don't need toys" guy. And, he's right, he can. He honestly finds toys insulting to his ability and refuses ANYTHING like that ANYWHERE near him or you.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#bunni's treats 🧁#leona kingscholar x reader#trey clover x reader#idia shroud x reader
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random sentence prompts
━ from various tv shows, part 5
i’m sorry i wasn’t here, not just tonight, but every day. i haven’t been here. i know that now.
i know that you just needed me to listen, to hear you.
maybe you should take a break. and… get help.
where did you find that kind of courage?
i thought if i just kept my head down and followed the rules, everything would be fine.
these people kill with false hope.
sometimes what's painful in the moment is what gets you where you need to go.
i enjoy being better at things than everyone else.
i haven’t felt at home in this world.
remember, i’m still betting on you.
okay, but what about me? i’m not ready.
i would give anything to not give a shit, but i do.
time to forgive yourself, kid. you got a future. you gotta see that now.
some nights are so damn dark. and then they still manage to get darker.
every time i try to make something right, i always hurt someone.
it’s like i was living for the first time. and once you feel that, you’ll do anything to keep feeling it.
i don’t want you guys to die for me.
i got my rep as the strong, silent type to think about.
we have to be brave in this life we have, simply to exist now.
they can’t hurt me. there’s no one left that i love.
fuck you, you really hurt my feelings.
all we have is what we carry on our backs.
do you trust me or not?
that’s the thing. if they don’t know it was a lie, they get to just live.
i wanted to be brave. i wanted to be more like you.
i’m not brave. i’m a shit person who does shit things because i don’t give a single shit about anything.
so you feel like you didn’t do enough then, now you have to do everything for everyone.
your head is shoved so far up the future’s ass, you’ve completely abandoned the now.
i haven't had a family in a long time, but i have one now.
i fucked it up because i’m fucked up.
you want me to be scared of you. but i’m not.
you shouldn’t come in here. it’s not safe. i’m not safe.
you’re like the most put together person i know.
you can be charming when you’re not angry or hungry.
i didn’t ask for you to rescue me. you did that, for you.
i’m normal. this is what normal looks like when you’ve had my fucking life.
i don't think it's something you get away with. you still have to live with what you've done.
i’m in this now, and i need to know everything. you owe me that.
how come you never choose me?
you had the guts to do something brave.
people go through all sorts of stuff, bad things, and they don’t tell anybody.
i worry myself, too.
i just know that i need to make my life count. it’s all i can do.
might’ve been shitty parents, but they’re still your parents.
when we get there, we’ll be different. we’ll be ready.
you missed me that much?
a lot of hope is dangerous.
i don’t wanna be who everybody thinks i am here.
it’s the things we love most that destroy us.
you're a good person even with all your bad qualities.
see? we’re good together.
you really think the world’s gonna end?
i’d like for the time i have left on this earth to mean something.
i don’t give a shit anymore. i just want to be a good person.
what if you just want something, and you want it so bad?
i guess we both got what we wanted.
you’re a fucking creep, i’m a fucking catch.
we walked into the darkest place there was, but we did it together.
you’re not bored. your heart’s broken.
i don’t pity you, like at all. i wish i was like you.
she took me straight into the fog of war.
you don’t know everything. and you can’t control me.
you can lie to everyone else, but you can’t lie to me.
you’re fucking badass.
i love you. can you handle me saying that?
i make a habit of expecting the worst so i won’t get hurt.
i know this is too little, too late, but i’d really like us to be friends.
i sure hope you catch me when i fall.
why focus on what’s wrong and not what’s right?
your lies, you can’t even keep track of them.
love is a kind of killing, and none of us get out alive.
maybe something good can come from something bad.
there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls.
remember half an hour ago when you wanted to murder me?
that’s all we are the whole time, shells with nothing inside.
please, can you just talk to me? anything you need, just say the word.
i keep blaming everyone, but it was me. it was my fault.
yeah, maybe fire and gasoline can hang out.
it is so easy to find yourself in dark places.
what’s right is that i feel something for you that i just don’t feel anywhere else with anyone else.
i’m going to have to take that risk.
you said it yourself, you don’t remember what happened. is it so hard for you to believe you might be innocent?
you know what the worst part is? i really thought i had good instincts.
you’re right, you don’t owe me shit, but i’m asking you anyway.
i could’ve been nicer. i could’ve been less of a monster.
we grew apart from each other. we’re two different people now.
you’re both sad and lonely. you’re a perfect match.
maybe we just needed to work through the bad to get to the good.
you were right. everything is cursed.
god, you are so gruesome.
you take me for everything i’m worth.
it’s okay if you’re scared.
are you trying to get me to forgive and forget?
#sentence prompts#*#ask meme#ask prompts#rp ask meme#rp sentence memes#rp starters#sentence starters#rp sentence starters#meme
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❂ 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟
jessica riley relationship headcanons
+ Always so excited when she gets to see you! Runs up to you and traps you in a bear hug before giving you sloppy kisses on your cheeks.
+ Hates being away from you for long periods of time. She's a bit of a clingy girlfriend meaning she wants a lot of your free time to be spent with one another. Whenever you two are apart she's planning the next time she can see you, she can't help but miss you!
+ Constant physical affection is a must if you're dating her. She loves the reassurance she gets when you touch her. Her favorite is when you wrap an arm around her waist to get real close to her. Adores having your face in the crook of her neck.
+ Definitely treats your lap like her own personal throne; enjoys the feelings of your hands holding onto her hips and thighs.
+ Kind of like a puppy in love; she's quick to blindly follow her heart and it hurts her more often than not.
+ Feels compelled to do anything in her power to make your life easier ie. do the chores she knows you dread.
+ Since before you two even officially started dating, she's given you so many nicknames in passing that you're sure she can't even keep track of the ones assigned to you. Her go-to is the casual babe or baby. She also wouldn't mind if you called her princess every now and again.
+ She's always asking you questions about yourself. It's important to her that the both of you are knowledgeable on the topic of each other. It's something that makes her feel more close to you than anyone else.
- "If you could do anything, like anything ever, for the rest of your life, what would you wanna do? By the way, you can say me, I wouldn't mind complying with that answer at all."
+ Quick with the comebacks. Be prepared to lose gracefully if you ever get into an argument with her because there's no way she's letting you win.
+ So playful with everyone but the most with you! She tries to live life somewhat lightheartedly believing that's what can bring her the most happiness.
+ Prefers to forgive and forget. Doesn't understand the whole idea of focusing so much energy onto someone in order to get revenge. If the opportunity presents itself that's another thing though!
+ She's an open book once she trusts you and it doesn't take a lot for her to put her trust in someone. Doesn't care about the risks involved with loving and losing someone, she sees it as a necessary part of life.
+ Big gossiper!! Constantly pulling you aside during an event to catch you up real quick on any updates with the drama. Please be enthusiastic/receptive while she's talking to you about this kind of stuff! She means no harm by it and stays positive about the people involved unless they've done something totally heinous.
- "I need to tell you what I just found out about that girl and her boyfriend. So last weekend, when she was visiting family out of town…"
+ Says she needs your help to do her braids but really she can do them by herself in under five minutes. She'll take any chance she can to feel your fingers in her hair.
+ On days where she's feeling lazy, she makes you do her whole make-up routine. No mercy, she doesn't care if you guys sit there for hours, it needs to be done and it needs to be done right. She shows her gratuity with a shower of compliments and calculated kisses as to not mess up all your hard work.
- "Oh my god, babe! You're so good at this, I should make you do my make-up every day. Kidding, don't worry."
+ Secretly insecure behind all that confidence. She can become pretty defensive in an argument with you, often lashing out because she feels threatened. What she really needs is reassurance that you're not attacking her, you just want resolution or to talk about the problem at its core.
+ Jess is the type of girlfriend that wants to be treated like a trophy wife… even without the ring.
— ♡☆
a/n: dedicated to the anon who requested :) i hope i did jess some justice!!
#jessica riley#jess riley#jessica riley x reader#jessica riley headcanons#jessica riley fluff#jessica riley imagine#jessica riley x you#until dawn#until dawn x reader#until dawn headcanons#until dawn imagine
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So, you asked for domestic requests - it‘s not exactly humourous, but at least it‘s fluff: how about Joel taking care of a reader who‘s got bad cramps? She‘s kinda anxious about it and he‘s like „Darlin‘ a little blood never scared me“ or sth like that (totally not inspired by me being on my period and trying not die because the painkillers aren‘t working yet)
Anyways, no stress, it‘s only an idea. Feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna do it. Love your writing 💕 ok byeee
Thank you for your kind words! I love this idea and I hope you feel better soon 🫶❤️
Dramatic
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader
Author's note: This ended up being way shorter than I thought it was gonna be but enjoy it nevertheless!
Warnings: period talk, reader being (rightfully) annoyed with Joel, fluff, lmk if I missed anything!
“I just think you’re bein’ a little dramatic.” He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. You crossed your arms over your chest as you stood in the bathroom, staring at him as he lingered in the doorway.
“I’m going to give you a chance to rethink what you just said to me.”
“I think you’re beautiful,” he retries and you hum. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your neck. You roll your eyes but lock your arms around his shoulders. “And strong, and kind, and so incredibly out of my league.”
“And forgiving, too. Don’t forget that.”
“Oh, the most forgiving,” He mumbles as he kisses your lips. You sigh against him, momentarily forgetting the stabbing pain in your lower abdomen.
It’s not that you were a stranger to your periods. Since the world fell apart, they were irregular if you even got them at all. Turns out running for your life and not being able to eat consistently while in Boston was not great for your body. But now that you were in Jackson, things were different. You had enough food, rest, and less anxiety than you had in a long time. Your period made her valiant return in response. Which is great, it’s what any other healthy person with a uterus would want, but learning to manage the symptoms again was a whole new playing field for both you and Joel.
The pain is, somehow, worse than you remember it, and your whole body feels tender and sluggish. You cried because you finished washing all the dishes in the sink only to go upstairs and find one of Joel’s mugs sitting on the bedside table. Poor Joel didn’t know what he was walking into once he got home from patrol and found you furiously scrubbing the cup. When he asked you about the blood staining your pants, you were just about ready to dig a hole into the center of the earth and die. That’s how he ended up following you into the bathroom even though you told him not to.
“How long have we been together?” Joel asks when you pull away. Your hands play with the hair at the nape of his neck as he looks at you with big, sympathetic eyes.
“Way too long.”
“You know that I love you and that I would do anything for you, right?” he asks, and you nod. “And you also know that I ain’t afraid of a little blood.”
“I know.”
“So, will you please let me help you? I’ll wash your clothes and run you a hot bath. Maybe make you a nice dinner?” His voice is so gentle and sweet that you practically melt into him. You’ll never understand how you got so lucky. “Or, if you want me to leave you alone, I can do that, too. Just tell me what you’re thinkin’, baby.” He urges as he rubs circles into your lower back. His hands are warm and just heavy enough to balance out your pain perfectly. You lay your head on his shoulder and relish in the feeling of his heartbeat against yours.
“I think that all sounds perfect. Thank you,” you say. You pick your head and move to kiss him again but stop just inches away from his face. “But I do think you’re being a little dramatic.” You whisper. He throws his head back and laughs, his cheeks turning an adorable shade of pink.
“I’m never gonna live that one down, huh?”
“Definitely not your best work, Miller.”
He makes it up to you ten times over. He lets you borrow a pair of his sweatpants after your bath, and you get to walk downstairs to a beautiful dinner and a glass of wine. Afterward, he even runs over to Tommy's and "borrows" a bowl of their strawberry ice cream. He even carries you up to bed when you fall asleep on the couch after listening to him strum his guitar, something that is saved for special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries.
He may not always say the right thing, but goddammit, if that man doesn't try his absolute best to be good to the women in his life.
Just in case tumblr decides to eat my paragraph
#joel miller x female reader#joel miller fic#joel miller requests#joel miller#joel tlou#tlou fic#tlou fanfiction#joel and ellie#june screams on the internet
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Circles Part Two
“What would you do that for Neelam? I don’t really understand the reason or understand why you felt that it was necessary.”
After everything that just went down Jack was trying to figure out just exactly how everything blew up. One minute you were all dancing and laughing and just enjoying each other's company and the next you’re running out crying and everyone is pointing fingers at Neelam.
“I was protecting you and you can’t even get mad at me when you’re the one that brought it up.” To be fair Neelam was right Jack had mentioned brining up an NDA but that was before he got to know you as a person now, he knows you aren’t like all those other girls he’s been with.
“That was in the past Neelam you had no right to say all that shit to her.” He was fuming Jack knew you’d probably never speak to him again and honesty who couldn’t blame you.
“Whatever, I’m done with this conversation I didn’t mean to come off strong I just… I just want what’s best for you alright.” Neelam started getting emotional. “You’ve been through a lot, and you didn’t come this far just to lose.” Jack wasn’t angry anymore he was more so understanding.
He knew Neelam had good intentions when it came to him, but she just wished she would’ve talked to him first. “I appreciate you looking out for me Neelam but all of that with Y/N wasn’t needed.” He took a seat next to her. “She’s different in a good way she doesn’t care about all of the glitz and glamor. I just hope she can forgive me.”
“I’m sure she will and if she’s down for it I’d love to meet her again and apologize.” Neelam suggested. “You promise you won’t make her cry this time?” Jack threatened, “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior.” Now that he talked things out with Neelam, he can only hope and pray you'd talk to him.
————————————————————————
“Babe come on I feel like you ignoring him just isn’t fair.” Your friend Mia said. You had Drama drop you off at Mia’s house after everything went down because you knew Jack most likely would probably be at your house the next day.
“I don’t wanna hear anything he has to say I just feel like it was a set up and for him to have been already discussing the NDA with Neelam it just makes me feel some type of way.” Mia understood how you felt and you had every right to feel the way you felt mainly because you went in with open arms and a open heart, you wanted to be friends with everyone but that clearly didn’t happen.
“Well just get up out of bed and go shower at least you’re kind of smelling up my entire bedroom.” She joked which earned her a pillow to the head. “Fine I’ll get up and shower but why?”
Jack had messaged Mia via Instagram and had messaged her and explained everything that went down and asked Mia if she was able to make it seem like she was taking you out, when in reality Jack wanted Mia to bring you to Morris Deli so you’d be able to talk.
“I’m kind of hungry and I’m really craving a sandwich from Morris Deli.” She was being oddly specific. “Alright I’ll go get ready I’ll be downstairs in 10.” She nodded and left the room leaving you alone.
You sighed and got up you honestly weren’t in the mood to go anywhere or see anybody you just wanted to honestly cry. You knew Jack didn’t deserve the silent treatment or just being completely ignored you felt guilty knowing he was probably worried and stressed over the fact that you weren’t talking to him.
After you showered you tossed on the pair of leggings with one of Mia’s hoodies, after looking yourself over one last time you made your way downstairs. “Wow look at you all showered up and looking fresh and so clean.” Mia joked.
“Yeah whatever but lunch is on you today.” She raised her hands in defense. “Yes ma’am.”
The car ride over there didn’t take as long as you expected it to be, once Mia pulled up you got out of the car and went to walk inside the deli but stopped when you realized Mia wasn't following behind.
You quickly walked back over to the car and went to open it just to find out she locked the car doors, she rolled the window passenger window down. “Uh hello what are you doing?” You we’re getting irritated because you didn’t understand what was going on and you were getting looks from individuals passing by. “You see I’m not actually hungry.” Your eyebrows scrunched together, she wasn’t making any sense right now. “Okay so let’s go home then.” You went to open the door again just for her to drive up forward a bit.
“Are you crazy you almost ran over my toes.” She giggled. “Look you’re going to hate me right now but I promise you’ll love me later babe, good luck Jack.” She waved at someone standing behind you.
“Jack?” You turned around when you noticed another shadow appearing right behind you. “Oh it’s you.” Jack's smiled faintly. “It’s me you know your boyfriend the one you’ve been ignoring.” He song sang it was awkward for a few seconds the two of you not really knowing what to do or how to start the conversation.
"Look.” He sighed and looked up at you. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t know any of that was going to happen. If I knew Neelam was going to react that way I wouldn’t have taken you there I hope you know I’d never willing put you in any situation like that." Jack was being brutally honest with you and that’s something you deeply cherished about him.
“I’m sorry for overreacting you didn’t deserve to be ignored but it hurt when I heard her say that you’ve talked to her about having be potentially signing an NDA.” Jack took your hands in his. “I did discuss the NDA to Neelam and Drama but that’s only because I told them it wasn’t going to be needed.”
You titled your head to the side. “Why wouldn’t it be needed?” He grinned and looked down at the ground before drawing his blue ocean eyes back to you. “I truly and honestly love and adore you Y/N, I don’t know and maybe I’ll sound like a fool but ever since we’ve met I just feel like we have this never ending chemistry and I’d love for you to officially be my girlfriend?”
You felt as if your heart was about to burst out of your chest, you couldn’t stop the smile that appeared on your face even if you tried. “I’d love to be your girlfriend Jack.” He smiled and took your hand in his. “Well now that we’ve settled that I’d like for you to come back to the house later, Neelam wants to talk to you.” Your eyes widened. “Round one wasn’t enough? She wants to give me more shit.”
He chucked “No babe she wants to apologize so just hear her out she means good.” You we’re a bit skeptical at first but hearing somebody out never hurt, you just hoped you’d be able to amend things with Neelam.
————————————————————————-
Later that night you arrived to Jack’s house once the two of you were inside you were greeted almost immediately by Druski and Urban.
“Wow look who came back I’m honestly surprised you did.” Urban joked and brought you in for a hug. “Me too I’m glad you aren’t letting that wicked witch keep you away from Jack.” Druski said. “She’d never be able to keep me away from any of you."
Your little sweet moment was interrupted by a cough, looking behind you is when you noticed Neelam standing there. She looked at Urban with a smug look on her face. “So I’m the wicked witch now Urban?” Urban’s stood there frightened as if he’s seen a ghost. “What? No I never said you were a witch I’d never.” He lied but Neelam dismissed him.
That’s when she focused her attention back on you. She gave you a half smile. “Y/N do you think we can talk for a minute?” You looked up at Jack who gave you a small smile and nodded his head. “That’s fine.” Jack gave your hand a little squeeze before following after Neelam outside.
Once the two of you made it to the porch you both sat on the steps, you wrapped your arms around yourself the cold crips air sending shivers down your arms. “I’m sorry for how I acted Y/N, I’m just very protective when it comes to Jack and the company he keeps.”
You understand completely where Neelam was coming from but at the same time you knew who you were and you’d never treat Jack like how he’s been treated in the past. “I understand Neelam but you need to understand that I’d never use Jack or put him through all of that I’m a good women and I love Jack just as much as he loves me, I just want everything to be okay between us especially since I know I’ll be around for a long time.” You confidently stated.
“You’re right you’re nothing like them and I’m sorry for making that comparison, so what do you think about us starting over?” You thought about it for a second just to tease her. “I think I’d honestly love that.”
Jack sat by the window and peeked at the two of you through the blinds. “What’s going on? Are they fighting.” Urban asked. “No, it looks like they are both laughing.” Druski started laughing, Jack pulled back from the window not wanting to get caught spying.
“What’s so funny?” He narrowed his eyes. Druski shrugged his shoulders and took a bite of his pizza. “You know with the two of them being friends I just hope you know they’ll both be bickering with you and I’m sure Y/N will side with Neelam 99% of the time.”
Jack had an uneasy feeling in his stomach now. “Shit you’re completely right I didn’t even think about it, is it too late to make them hate each other?” Jack innocently asked making Druski laugh. “Oh no man you’re stuck for life now.” Druski laughed once more and walked back into the kitchen.
When Jack went to turn back around to look outside he jumped when he was met face to face with Neelam and Yourself looking right back at him. “Jack!!” You both yelled from outside the window. “Stop being a weirdo and go sit down somewhere.” Neelam demanded. “Yeah being a creep isn’t cute.” Jack groaned and muttered things under his breath in a way he wished the two of you would’ve never made up.
#jack harlow#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x y/n#jack harlow x you
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Together
Chris Evans x Reader
Summary: You and Chris finally have your first time together.
Warnings: Smut (but it’s sweet) 18+ ONLY Minors DNI
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The date had been perfect. They usually were. You and Chris had been out to a nice but casual dinner and then walked around the city, hand in hand, enjoying the coolness that was starting to permeate the air, signaling that autumn was soon approaching. Honestly, you couldn’t have been happier… Well, there was one thing that would make things better.
See, you and Chris had been dating for nearly a year and yet you two hadn’t moved past doing anything other than making out; and while you loved that (his soft lips on yours, the way his hands would caress your body, his strong arms around you) you wanted more.
Really, you felt like you couldn’t complain since he was hands down the best guy you ever dated. He was kind and considerate, he listened, and he was loving, pretty much everything all your exes hadn’t been. With that thought, you decided to be happy and just live in the moment. It would happen when it would happen. Besides you were with him, together, and that’s all that mattered.
“So, what else you wanna do,” he said, squeezing your hand, shaking you out of your thoughts.
You shrugged. “Dunno, you?”
“Well, I figured to end the night, we could just cuddle on the couch and watch a movie?” he looked at you, hoping you’d say yes. He didn’t want the night to end.
You smiled at him, since you were near your place, you decided to head in that direction. “Okay, but I pick the movie.”
“Okay, but nothing too sappy, I’m still not forgiving you for making me watch those Lifetime movies last Sunday.”
You laughed as you took out your keys, seeing your building near. “Oh, please, you know you liked it. You got way into the one about the cheerleaders.”
“Okay, but that one was pretty good. I still can’t believe they tried to frame that girl like that.”
“Devious,” you said, opening the door of your apartment. “But it’s Saturday night, so no Lifetime movie marathon.”
“Good,” he said, as he followed you in. He shed his jacket and headed to your kitchen in search of popcorn and something to drink.
While he was fixing your snack, you went to get a blanket, and change into something more comfortable. You changed into some sweats and a t-shirt, then grabbed the soft wool blanket your mom had bought for you the Christmas before. When you came back out, Chris, who was emptying the popcorn into a bowl, looked at you.
“Hey, isn’t that mine?”
You looked down at the shirt you had put on.
“Yup,” you said simply. You had borrowed it when you spent the night at his place after a party he had had. You had meant to wash it and bring it back to him, but it had slipped your mind… Sort of. Truthfully, you just wanted to keep it because, even though you had washed it, it still smelled faintly of him.
He shook his head and took in your outfit.
“You look comfortable,” he said with a slight tinge of jealousy.
“You could have some of your stuff here if you want,” you told him, taking the bowl from him as he grabbed himself a beer and collected the glass of wine he had poured for you.
“Really?” he asked following you to the couch.
“Yeah, man, we’ve been dating for a year. I know you live like five minutes away, but just in case, ya know?”
“Cool,” he said, grabbing a handful of popcorn and settling back. “So what movie are we gonna watch?”
“Hmmm how about I give you a choice: I got Sleepless in Seattle, Sixteen Candles, and When Harry Met Sally.”
“That’s all you have?”
“Nope, but those are your choices.”
“All right, all right, When Harry Met Sally, then.”
“Yes, I love that one,” you said as you put the movie on.
Chris rolled his eyes at you, and you lightly punched him for it, making him laugh. You snuggled into him to watch the movie you had seen several times before.
You watched the movie, unaware that Chris wasn’t focused on it in the least. He was busy watching you. Watching the way you laughed and mouthed the words along with Meg Ryan on the screen.
Halfway through the movie, he pulled you in closer to him. The popcorn was all gone along with your drinks. You looked up at him and smiled. He leaned his head down and kissed you. You deepened the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. He enveloped you in his. You felt his tongue against your lips and you opened your mouth letting it slide in. your tongues danced with each other, the tastes of his beer and your wine mixing together.
You straddled his lap; your fingers playing in his hair, his hands running up and down your back. He slid them up under your shirt, and you sighed at the warmth of them. Underneath you, you felt him getting hard, and you started to rock slightly against him, making him groan softly. Normally this is when he would stop, but tonight he didn’t. Instead he lowered his hands down to your hips, gripping them a little tighter than he normally would. You took that as a sign to keep going.
You moved your lips from his, kissing along his jaw, til you reached his neck. You placed small kisses here and there until you got to the spot right below his ear, you knew it was a sensitive area, and you began to nibble at it. He groaned louder, and with a smirk, you started sucking on that spot. You felt him getting harder as you did that.
He maneuvered his head so he could capture your lips in another kiss. Soon he pulled away, and looked hard at you.
“What?” you whispered.
“Can we continue this in your bedroom?”
You were shocked, but so pleased, finally it was happening. You smiled at him and nodded. Getting up off of his lap, you grabbed his hand and pulled. He got up and followed you into your room, shutting the door behind him.
You turned to look at him. Now that this was happening, you were shy. You didn’t know how to start with him. Luckily, he wasn’t feeling nearly as shy as you were. He reached for you and pulled you close, sliding his hands around you. His hands went from your waist, down your hips, to grab your ass. You giggled against his lips at that and he smiled. You walked backwards towards the bed, stopping when the edge hit the backs of your legs. You reached down and found the hem of his shirt, once you had it, you started to raise it up and pulled it over his head, tossing it to the floor.
You ran your fingers up and down his chest, to his torso, the hairs on his body tickling your fingers. You placed a few kisses on his exposed body. Then he did the same to you, pulling his tee off of you. His hands went to your bra, cupping your breasts through the fabric. He lowered his head to your neck, kissing you there and then on your bare shoulder and on down til he got to the tops of your breasts, he tugged the cups of your bra down, exposing your nipples, which he licked and sucked on, inducing a moan from you.
You reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it slide down your arms to the floor. Then you reached for his pants, undoing them and pushing them down. You pulled him in for another kiss as you slid your pants off, and he did the same.
You both stood there in just your underwear and you began to giggle again.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head, still laughing. “Everything, I don’t know.”
“You are silly,” he said, kissing you again.
“I know.”
You then climbed up on the bed and he followed. He crawled over to you until he was on top of you, kissing you again. He slowly made his way down your body, kissing from your neck, to the valley between your breasts, down your stomach, til he got to the top of your panties. He hooked his fingers in the elastic and tugged them down your legs and off. He kissed back up your thighs until he got to your core. He could feel the heat emanating from you. You squirmed a bit, wanting him to do something, instead of just laying there.
You got your wish soon, you felt him slide a finger inside you, then another, causing you to gasp.
“You’re so wet,” he said as he slid his fingers in and out of you.
“Mmm-hmmm,” was all you could get out, you were thoroughly enjoying the feel of his thick fingers inside you.
He chuckled and then lowered his head, taking his fingers out and replacing them with his tongue. He licked up your slit and then slid his tongue inside you. You bucked your hips at that, your hand going to his head, your fingers tangling in his hair, pushing him deeper as you spread your legs wider. He then wrapped his lips around your clit and began sucking on it, causing you to push your head back into the mattress. You moaned loudly enjoying the feel, then you yelped as you felt him slide his fingers back inside you.
“C-Chris, s-stop,” you stammered.
With a final lick, he raised his head.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You okay?”
You nodded. You had been close to coming, but you wanted him inside you.
“I want, I need to feel you inside me,” you told him.
He nodded, then standing up, he walked over to the nightstand next to your bed and fished around for a condom. He knew you kept them there just in case. Once he found one, he slid off his boxers and opened the wrapper and slid it on. He then climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself on top of you. He guided himself inside you slowly, stretching you deliciously. It had been so long, and you had waited for this, yearned for this. Once he was fully inside you, he rested his forehead against yours. His eyes closed.
“I have wanted this for so long,” he whispered.
“Me too,” you said, reaching up to caress his cheek. “I’ve wanted you so much.”
He opened his eyes and looked down at you with a smile. Then he started to move inside you. Your arms went around his back holding onto him as he moved in and out of you slowly. You moaned as you felt the drag of his dick inside you. He began to speed up and you dug your nails into his back, wrapping your legs around his slim waist. He felt better than you could have ever imagined.
He then rolled to his side, still inside you. Your leg resting on his hip. He put his arms around you, pulling you in closer as he started to move again. You put your hand on the back of his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. You moved with him, you tongue tangling with his, your fingers in his hair and his on your back.
You moved your hand to his chest and pushed him back, letting him slip from inside you. You then raised yourself up and straddled him again. You gripped his dick and positioned it so you could slide down on top of him. He sighed when he felt you around him and when you began to move, he grabbed your hips. You rode him slowly at first, relishing the feel of him as the head of his dick hit that sweet spot inside of you.
He watched you as you began to move faster on top of him, his hands on your hips keeping you steady. He then reached down and began rubbing at your clit. Feeling his thumb on that sensitive bundle of nerves sent you over the edge. You came with a loud moan of his name, your head thrown back in ecstasy.
He held onto you, guiding you through your orgasm. Once you came down from your high, he rolled you off of him and back onto the bed. He then slipped back inside you, and moved again, chasing his own orgasm.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured softly. “You feel so good. So amazing.”
You could tell he was close, and you wrapped your arms and legs around him, whispering in his urging him to let go, to cum for you. With a loud groan he emptied himself inside the condom and then collapsed on top of you. You held him close, stroking his back, while he caught his breath. He then got off of you and climbed off the bed and walked slightly unsteadily to the bathroom to throw the condom away.
He came back and laid on the bed. He reached for you and you cuddled against him. He peppered kisses on your face, making you both laugh. You grabbed his hand and interlaced your fingers with his, while intertwining your legs. You both laid on the bed like that together, whispering and laughing with each other.
Soon you both drifted off to sleep. You woke him up a few hours later by climbing on top of him and kissing him, causing you to go at it again. Then once more in the shower. Then another time in the kitchen. He said a few times that he had to go home, but every time you went to kiss him goodbye, it would start yet another round of lovemaking. You both ended up spending the weekend together wrapped around each other. But you were together and that’s all that mattered.
#Chris Evans#chris evans x reader#chris evans smut#chris evans imagine#chris evans x you#chris evans x y/n#boyfriend!chris#chris evans fluff#reader insert#reader insert smut#chris evans reader insert#rpf#chris evans rpf#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans fan fiction#whiskey writes
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prepareth thineselves for another doozy of a ramblecommentating
obligatory alphalist link:
the pining. THE MOTHERFUCKING PINING IN THIS STORY is enough to power a standard size nuclear plant imo and madstronaut is here to do her civic duty as a staunch supporter of the environment and fighting fossil fuels, yes, truly the main reason i read smutty/yearny fic-
Reading: Christian Woman by @kneelingshadowsalome
“You don’t know how it even happened, but you became friends with a foreign man visiting your city.”
this is basically reverse tinder iykyk
“You feel warm and safe with him, lost inside a soft bubble you quickly create in the corner table of a cellar cafe.”
this very aptly desscribes how this story makes me feel. i cried the first time i read it through fully; just made me feel so many emotions 🥹🥹🥹
Perhaps it’s the dimly lit environment or perhaps it’s just him, but you have one of the deepest conversations ever with this mysterious man.
i hope everyone experiences the happy accident of a spontaneous deep conversation with a stranger - feels like God/the universe just gifting you a random act of kindness
“Well… I don’t do twerking, but yes, nuns are allowed to dance.” girl you about to do a lot more than that very soon
You can see he hasn’t skipped a leg day either, and immediately chastise yourself for checking out his butt in the coffee queue.
*when God sings with his creations, will not König's ass be part of the choir*
You know it’s an attempt to make you forgive his choice of career when he reveals to you that his best mission was when he saved thirty women from sex trafficking. And it does make your heart crack open a little.
just speaking personally quite a heady experience to have someone attempt to better themselves for you but way too easy for this dynamic go from sexy/flattering to emotionally off-kilter - how does the phrase go? with great pus-power comes great responsibility
Actually, you catch him looking at your breasts, scanning your body and cherishing the tender spot between your collarbones more times than you can count. They’re quick, stolen moments, so harmless that you choose to stay quiet.
🥰🥺🥰🥺
He listens to your every word with a softening glow in his eyes, a shimmer that spreads across the table and makes you feel warm all over. fucking LOVE THIS LINE
König always softens in your presence... You always tense up in his.
Your face is flushed, and you blame it on the overcrowded cafe. You feel both safe and in danger with him, and it must be the virgin inside you talking.
this is such a great description of how a good ole crush feels - “you feel both safe and in danger with him”
It’s bubbly and lively and colourful, just like your friend; it’s the opposite of König, the special operations soldier who’s dark, intriguing, and intimate, just like the dimly lit cellar cafe you meet him in secret.
total sidenote but since I was just recently there - you wanna talk bright bubbly cafe next to dim cellar cafe - bedford cheese shop next to irving farm coffeeshop on irving place off union square in nyc fits these descriptions exactly lol
"Soldiers are crazy. I once dated this peacekeeper,” your friend continues in her usual chirpy way.
why did the following description make me think of john cena peacemaker, who does indeed own a fleshlight in the show 😂😂😂
And at times, hearing about all the things your friend has gone through, being an onlooker to all that heartbreak and pining and loss, has managed to strengthe your resolve. a whole moooooood
“No, seriously. We’re talking about fistfights and broken bones. Dating apps would explode. People would get killed.”
we all need a friend like this 😂
If anything, you’re scared of men, and you loathe the dating world. You’re put off by shallow commitments and one-night stands and getting ghosted and God knows what else.
omg it me????
You always told your friend that Jesus Christ is the most stable man you’ve ever met, and you will stick with him.
recalling all those worship songs nicknamed “Jesus is my boyfriend” songs in youth group growing up😂😂😂😂
“Stable? Excuse me, but didn’t he start a riot or something at the temple? Are we talking about the same dude who lead an uprising against the Romans? Hung out with whores, raised corpses from the dead, fucked around and found out until someone nailed him at the cross? Stable my ass!”
I want to banghang out with this Jesus tbh amigoingtohellfortypingthatmaybesavemeJesus😉
Your friend's enthusiastic grin turns into an uneasy, pitying smile when she realises how deep into this man you actually are.
i knew she was a goner when she started talking about his hands
If you're chosen by God, your friend is chosen by the Devil, that's for sure. like i said WE ALL NEED A FRIEND LIKE THIS 😂
There’s no chaos and no guns and no tall men with big dicks, no Austrian war criminals trying to seduce you and then discard you after their deployment ends.
There’s only a man with a kind smile, warm eyes, and a nice, husky laugh. Some good coffee with distant notes of chocolate and perfectly civil conversations about European philosophers and the crisis of modern thought.
WHY NOT BOTH?
Sturdy walls support you; they have held you for centuries, and the crucifix above you has given hope to so many people before you. The ever-safe embrace of your faith envelops you, and you can always trust that you are loved, even when you’re flawed and incomplete.
Even with indecent thoughts, you can pray for mercy and ask for forgiveness. Even if you have impure urges towards your Austrian mercenary, you can still pray for him... It’s the least you can do to repay the kindness he has given you.
i appreciate how fleshed out our nun reader is <3 i found myself in a weird limbo of wanting her to remain true to herself while still navigating her faith (as someone also on a post(idk tbh?)-faith journey i find her spiritual self-wrestling very relatable and familiar)
You don’t want to draw the Lord’s attention to you while your hand travels down beneath the sheets, your thoughts wandering to a certain god-like soldier with eyes like burning ice.
probs goin to hell for this (but im on tumblr so im already here??? lmao) but S i r if u invented the whole concept u can at least watch and give me pointers/tips
And that’s ok - physical touch like that is ok. Holding hands is not.
truly the absolute dirtiest sluttiest thing you can do fr fr let me say it once again with my whole chest 👏HOLDING👏HANDS👏IS👏FOR👏 SLUTSSSSSS👏 (it's me, the slut, im the slut)
It finds you in silence, envelops your tiny palm completely, squeezes you softly and emanates so much heat that a cord of fire shoots across your arm and straight into your heart.
i remember my first innocent hand holdings/cheek kisses and they felt EXACTLY like this, reading this felt like salome went digging into my brainfolds and pulled the sensations out and put them in writing 🤯
The only thing you ever craved for was another slice of cake. omg nun reader your innocence is adorable all the better when watching it break
“I’m sure you’ll find some other girl to… hold hands with,” you say, hating how bitter and self-pitying you sound. holy self-sabotage, batman - NUNREADER DONT DO THISSSSS
“I’m sorry too,” he laments, but the corner of his mouth curves slightly up. “So sorry you wouldn’t even believe…” excuse me while i mop myself off the floor; melted right off my chair
You wonder if he’d pay you a visit if you told him where you sleep. You wonder if your single bed would creak if he tried to make love to you on it... You wonder if you could muffle your cries when you clenched with him inside you. If he’d groan too loudly when he reached his peak…
nun reader can i interest you in an alternate, similarly unpaid career trajectory of…*drumroll* SMUTTY FIC WRITING???? pls i will send u an ao3 invite and comment on every 5th syllable of your stories and be your 2nd-biggest personal hypebae (first one being her own bff who would be over the moon ofc)
The back door is always open too because some of the nuns are smokers.
im deeefinitely picturing nun!aubrey plaza from the little hours below
“Of course not. I will pray for you every day,” you smile with a good amount of affection. It has the same effect as saying something like “I want to blow you right here on this street” because your Austrian giant gets visibly excited. spit my fuckin tea out at this, fucking hilarious
the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it. 🥺🥺🥺reminds me of old crushes/lovers who broke my heart. did u know how much you held when you had a piece of it? steadfastly not thinking of the ones i broke too🤪
The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone.
i have often heard it said both in a spiritual and practical context that when your peace leaves a place, you should pay attention and leave with it and it’s still a very relevant and wise piece of advice imho
But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose.
tw for churchish talk so pls skip if its not your cup of tea but without getting into all the fucked up stuff that is the monstrosity of evangelical churchianity, personally speaking one of the earliest places (and most constant sources) i learned about self-worth and compassion and love and extending it to myself and others was through people of faith (i know this might be ironic/offensive to some because believe me i have also been there in being traumatized/antagonized by ppl of faith as well but trying my best to hold all our different experiences and perspectives in hand to be able to see listen and understand the good the bad and grey and everything in between in a nuanced way, anyway story of my life); i wish i could offer similar encouragement i heard to nunreader - omg, can we instead focus on the verses/stuff in bible like Christ coming to set us free, not keep us chained to laws, God is love, loving God and others are apparently the two most important things in the faith and everything else rests on these two, also there is a shitttttton of smut in the bible coughsong of songs, the book no one ever preaches aboutcough and also i dont think the supposed inventor of sex hates sex, anyway ending my shittylittle fauxsermon/rant here but end of tw, back to the fic~
And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. i know reader is deep in the cups of churchthought but this is honestly one of the most beautiful things ive read; i want to (and imho i do) ‘see God’ - see something divine, beautiful wondrous heavenly full of love and joy and peace and gentleness and kindness and all that other stuff from that galatians bit i dont recall now- in the people I love too
You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. cough once again trawling through some old memories resurfacing from my churchish days but apparently one of the meanings of the original hebrew word for to know in the bible also meant to have sex with, i am 1000% serious👀👀👀
You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over.
recalling an old convo with a guyfriend when we were discussing/joking about modesty and clothing and i joked that the ultimate level was a nun habit/outfit - in complete seriousness though he turned to me and said to a man in lust/love, the right woman has nothing she could wear that wouldn’t tempt him - including a nun outfit - and ive never forgotten what he said lol. I joked about ankles sticking out and then of course we dove into a deep discussion on the existential nature of feet fetishes. in hindsight, apologies to anyone nearby we may have traumatized/offended that june afternoon in washington square park
You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.
all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home.
Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth.
peak yearning right here. also i think salome captures thoughtprocess of nunreader so well in her eventually assauging her Intense Catholic Guilt™️ by basically equating König to Jesus/God, the only man nuns are allowed to simp for (if anyone is offended by the near-constant blasphemous shit in this post - tbh my whole blog - pls say a prayer for me lol)
“I–I can’t just escape from the window.” my SISTER in CHRIST, you just gave away your whole escape plan LMAO
But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.
nunreader i am cheering you on with little party hats and confetti bombs in spirit-
Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.
very into how nunreader is feeling herself here. yes my queen get ready to fucking get ittttttt
And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.
i am restraining the urge to dive into the screen into this story with my makeup kit to Give Reader A Mini-Makeover (i fucking LOVE those scenes in stories/shows/movies and also for me makeup is art and the canvas is my face/body and i enjoy perfecting my art on the daily- totally forget over the pandemic how much i enjoyed putting on makeup before going to work)
“Here, kitty, kitty…” why is this extremely goofy and sexy at the same time? peak König vibes tbh
Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.
why not both, my sister, why not both? something something love is a many splendored thing - shakespeare probably
You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. this is the cutest fucking thing ive ever read so far i am biting my pillow to shreds~ also König handfeeding strawberries to sis at the restaurant?? someone call 911 for public indecency???? hot damn and you were worried bout HOLDING HANDS???
He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you. every girls dream 🥰🥰🥰
instantly getting hard from a first kiss does feel very könig-coded, do not @ me
You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. not me also joining in-
The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain. not me getting together a petition.org straight to Jesus to cut our sister some slack-
“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”
on this note i remember being briefly fascinated by nuns/priests as a young madstronaut - mostly fascinated by these women living sans men in such a male-dominated world/space and foregoing sex/marriage (anyway little did i know of religious patriarchy and such then) but knowing what i know now, that under all the collars and habits and wimples are still regular people/human beings - i wonder how many IRL Christian Women fics are being lived out right now somewhere 👀coughBEFREEMYSISTERScough
He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one.
smellsandbells are my bread butter and jam! research has also shown the sense of smell is strongly linked with memory too and i can attest to this
The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves.
do not resist dear sister, no one can when COD men deck themselves out in full gear, its simply not physically spiritually mentally emotionally chemically possible, cold scientific fact, biblical gospel, incontrovertible truth, in this annotated research paper i will-
You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.
“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. okay König fucking would say something like this lmao READ THE ROOM SIR but also sister has it d o w n b a d if shes able to recognize him just by the way he moves and “hear him smiling” iykyk
So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. sir i see right through your schemes and i am giving my 100% certified stamp of approval tbh i wouldn’t have even put it past him in this fic if he stabbed himself in a nonlethal area so sister can see some skin without ICG in teh way (Intense Catholic Guilt™️)
You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail...
And it does make you very happy.
you and me both sister, you and me both
“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “ pay no mind? my brother in christ you are giving free handouts (trying not to let my brain rot away thinking of double entendres here)
“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.” sir sir if i can guess at the contents of some (most?) of these letters…may I ALSO interest you in an alternate albeit unpaid career trajectory of smutty fic writing-
You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart.
damn this is peak writing right here. this rivals published writing ive read, all my standing ovations, slow claps, and hats off to you salome~ i go through tons and tons of fic in hopes to read sentences like these and stories like yours ❤️❤️❤️honestly their whole exchange with sis kneeling by him as he falls asleep is peak yearning/tenderness
also nunreader’s “why exactly does König like me so much, is it because of any other possible reason other than myself” is peak relatability - once again restraining myself from grabbing reader through the screen and giving them white-board scrawled peptalks breaking down why they are amazing and worthy
He must be getting better if he’s behaving like this... The man’s insufferable enough when he’s uninjured, but now that he’s getting pampered, he’s somehow even worse. 😂😂😂 sis finally gettin the memo
Your only summer dress resides at your parent’s house as a relic from the past, a token from your life before sisterhood. this is true, i recall reading that once someone enters the convent/monastery they basically get given one nun/priest outfit and like maybe a backup one when the main one gets washed? my new yorker fashionloving ass could never
“No, I’m not. I’m just some woman you bumped into in the street.”
“That’s exactly what an angel would say.”
😂😂😂
You sigh: it’s useless with König, hopeless, like trying to wrestle with God. No matter what you say or do, he always turns it against you in the sweetest possible way. as someone with the near-useless superpower of getting weird inside baseball bible/sunday school/youth group jokes/references however vague in modern lit/culture when they appear i appreciate the “wrestle with God” reference, peak research vibes
also the last line here really smacks of the nicer interpretation of what the abbess told sis: “God doesn’t test us, he loves us” <3
There’s nothing sexual about it, so why not?
she says “aint nothin sexual bout lyin in a bed, the primary location where people usually have sex, with an almost nude man who is horny/erect 95% of the time he is around you, alone, in what i can only describe as a an ideal small town honeymoon suite while it is moodily raining outside” my sister in christ, do you recall lying (yes even to yourself) is a s i n
also i have never been catholic but hot damn i was also blushing and did think König is fucking s h a m e l e s s reading about him feeling up sis STILL IN HER HABIT 😂
He’s ever so grateful for his saving angel, who he gets to cuddle “as a reward”. You don’t quite know if it's a reward for you or him.
once again my sister in christ w h y n o t b o t h (also im deliriously pleased i can use sister in christ with multi-layered meanings here)
“Perhaps we’ll stay there... Forget all this,” he chatters lazily, clearly in the same sweet bubble as you. ive always found it so sweet and vulnerable and tender hearing bfs/guys muse and daydream about a future together 🥰🥰 just hits different when boys do it, and openly too
the last of your armour, your pride and shame and vows, drift away like they were made of nothing but simple steam.
But there’s nothing to hold on to but him, so you anchor yourself in the dark hunger of his eyes.
That’s all the reply you get: a pleased, filthy stare of someone who’s about to wreck you up.
“Come here,” he says while you’re already locked in an inseparable embrace.
*chefs kiss* these lines are perfection
You start to cry in full, not even knowing why. You just know you’ve wanted this for ages. This connection, this ecstasy, this mutual presence and fulfilment, this sense of belonging to someone.
*nodding along sagely* yes cathartic cries are the best cries
your pussy wakes up after recovering from the initial shock… For some reason, it is vital for you not to let the old receptionist know that a humble sister of Christ is getting licked to ruin in his establishment.
HAHAHA SALOME OMFG ABSOLUTELY SCREECHED READING THIS
You’re going through several stages of ego death and bliss; you’re going through a crisis of faith and multiple rebirths while König is having a field day with your pussy. Honestly completely normal reaction imho
All thoughts of What if he doesn’t enjoy it evaporate when you see the demanding erection between his legs, pointing at you so viciously that you feel pity for the fabric of his pants.
fics that have genital personification have a special place in my heart. also i did not expect to write such a sentence today or in my life but here i am, thank you tumblr
You’re not wearing any bra; you stopped wearing them years ago as useless and immoral. ok hold up one moment why are bras immoral lol girl unless you are small enough to join the free the nip movement without penalities a good support system is vital!!!
“You naughty girl…” he says thickly.
tbh in context of entire fic König calling sis a naughty girl is probably the hottest thing he’s said…sir where did u get all this rizz
“Want to see what I got?”
…forget what I said about the rizz, this is the fucking goofiest follow-up he could say 😂😂😂 salome has König vibes down pat
You’re mesmerized to see him already tensing from the chest up, the tendons on his neck becoming visible as he grits his teeth together. 🥰🥰🥰 an absolute vision
It's riddled with chants of Put it in and Forget about the bloody plastic because even with your zero experience you know it wouldn't feel as good as skin *me, reading, also joining in the chant*
The room must be smelling like a sex cave by now. protip: make sure the smell is gone if you have guests coming over
It makes you smile; him being so happy with simple things such as good food and some kinky sex, a nice cuddle and a nap to top it off. giggling at nunreader thinking humping is kinky UGH WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET AND ADORABLE i just want to take you on a shopping and makeup spree and introduce you to things like bubble tea, dry shampoo, glossier merch, weekend farmer's markets at union square, the hot barista/server at veselka's-
“This is what I call liking someone so much it hurts.” 🥺🥺🥺 couldnt seduce a woman if he tried my ass
König learns your body language; he knows it like a native speaker by the end of the week. EAT YOUR HEART OUT DUOLINGO (please dont kill me i'll fix my streak i promise)
König only smiles on the bed while you treat him; it’s like his master plan finally worked. I FUCKIN CALLED IT
“I would never hurt you….and no one ever will.” their whole conversation here is one of my favorite scenes in the whole story.
Without mentioning König or what you’ve been up to lately, you simply tell her you’ve decided to move on with your life. yes, i am one of those plebs who clap when the plane lands, but for dramatic turning points in fanfic
You receive lots of well wishes, hugs, even tears when you tell others you’re leaving. Embarrassed that you almost got rid of your robes and sneaked out to another secret lover’s meeting without even saying farewell, you meet everyone with full presence until you find yourself crying too.
i love a fic that has lore and a bit of worldbuilding so well-built that you want to look around corners and peek into windows and doorways about what else there is - i found myself wondering about sister’s relationships here with the other nuns - but also loved that last phrase of reader finally feeling whole, “meeting everyone with full presence” after feeling so fractured and divided the first half of the story 👏👏👏we love a good full circle fic 👏👏👏
No wonder men die younger – you’d have to tie this specimen to a sturdy lamp post if you wanted him to stay put... i too think this everytime i see some dumb bullshit, mostly on @drunkpeopledoingthings
“Well, you’ve seen me,” you extend your hands to your sides, knowing you’ve already lost. “You can go back now.” there's something just very delicious watching someone fight a losing battle
desire pools, brims, until you feel like you can’t breathe anymore. loooooooove this phrasing
This must be one of the craziest things you’ve done in your life says reader, of having sex for the first time, a near universal experience
To you, he’s all men in one, the sheer mass of him making your thighs tremble from want. 🥰🥰🥰reader in love is so poetic <3
also yes squeaky beds are my kink, ty for including salome 🥰🥰🥰
also sis describing her pussy “hugging” dick has got to be the fluffiest smut ive ever read🥰🥰🥰
Ten times more powerful than the most blissful experiences with your God, you want to come here for worship again and again, to have his body entangled with yours. ah yes to know König is to know God indeed 😏😏😏😏😏
When done, he sinks half his weight on you, thoroughly spent, and you feel fulfilled, some deep-seated joy taking hold of everything that once was hollow. Curiously, all shame is absent. 🥹🥹🥹 i love this line so much. i hope everyone is able to experience this, especially if you like me have had some religious purity culture trauma in your life - there is no shame in love <3
The happiness, the pure joy in his eyes, is heartbreaking. At that moment, you know that all his silly jokes, follies, and babbles about taking you to the mountains and whisking you away have been real. They have been true, honest wishes... There is no lie in him, no jest, no fakeness. Just pure, simple joy from hearing that you finally chose him, too. 🥹🥹🥹
The old man doesn’t even care to look surprised when he sees you clothed in jeans and a simple shirt this time, smiling as you rush upstairs, hand in hand with König. okay but shoutout to this dude, you a real one for being the best unintentional wingman this side of europe
You can’t wait to sleep with him tonight: simply sleep with him, finally, curl up together in safety, do the most basic thing all lovers do. You can’t wait to wake up to a fresh dawn together, lovely, curious, and new. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
You take new vows: promising to yourself to live each day fully and bravely, and never again shut your heart.
The only thing left of you on your old bed is your black and white robe, and on it, a crucifix and a rose, and a note that says:
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love… But the greatest of these is love.
screaming crying i cant even explain how this fic made me feel, some mixture of joy and heartbreak and catharsis and healing all wrapped up in one as i found so many parallels both with reader and König at times and isn’t that just some of the best things about great stories, when it helps us see and feel and know and love ourselves and others in new ways we couldn’t before?
i wanted to do this absolutely lovely fic justice so ive literally been sprinkling comments on this during re-reads for months; i will close with a fitting - and catholic - quote that i love:
“There is a twilight zone in our hearts that we ourselves cannot see. Even when we know quite a lot about ourselves-our gifts and weaknesses, our ambitions and aspirations, our motives and our drives-large parts of ourselves remain in the shadow of consciousness. This is a very good thing. We will always remain partially hidden to ourselves. Other people, especially those who love us, can often see our twilight zones better than we ourselves can. The way we are seen and understood by others is different from the way we see and understand ourselves. We will never fully know the significance of our presence in the lives of our friends. That's a grace, a grace that calls us not only to humility, but to a deep trust in those who love us. It is the twilight zones of our hearts where true friendships are born.” - quote by Henri Nouwen, catholic priest
#madstrothought#FaFiCoWriMo#fanfiction#call of duty#König#Christian Woman (fic title - to avoid this going into the general tag lol)#kneelingshadowsalome#DanceofTheSevenVeils
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Not a copypasta do you know any good resources for knitting I have been trying to learn and I don't understand what I'm supposed to do even though there are instructions 🫠🫠
Sure nonny! I'm more experienced with crochet but I do have my favorite places to go for knitting stuff lol.
So I'm not sure if you're right handed or left handed — if you're left handed just come back and tell me because learning how to knit as a lefty is a little harder, only because you have to read patterns a little differently.
But, to get started, Very Pink Knits is my favorite youtube channel, she's really great at showing how to do stitches. She's how I realized I was accidentally knitting twisted stitches for three years!
This is her YouTube channel.
She has MANY videos on how to do certain techniques for knitting and how to get started, even how to cast on!
Scrolling through, looks like she's starting on Crochet tutorials as well!
But she explains things very well and has a good tutorial lighting set up and everything. However, if you don't find her videos helpful, just keep typing in stuff into youtube and see what video tutorials are out there because there are many! Yarn companies, pattern writers, etc etc, they all have youtube channels. And, in the future, if you pick a pattern and find yourself getting stuck, a lot of the time the pattern maker will have a youtube video for you to follow to help.
I'm useless as making a video to help get started because I'm left-handed and I primarily crochet lol.
ALSO: SIGN UP FOR RAVELRY
There are communities, you can see notes people make on patterns to see if they had any issues you had, you can sign up to test patterns once you're getting good enough, and a lot of patterns are on there and you can really filter what you wanna find even down to the kind of yarn you have and how much of it you have. You can also save them as favorites and when you buy the pattern you can keep it in your library for safe keeping!
But here are some things to know that sometimes they don't tell you in these beginner videos:
When buying your knitting needles, don't use plastic for plastic yarn. If you're getting acrylic yarn, using plastic needles won't provide a kind of smooth working motion you need. Metal needles for plastic yarn. Slippery yarn like bamboo yarn or cotton or baby alpaca/merino wool can go on wooden/plastic needles. If they go on metal, you may have some issues keeping tension. If you google what kind of needles you should buy for what yarn you can also find this advice!
Buy shit yarn to practice with. If you have a Dollar General around you or anything, assuming you're American, get some of that yarn to first practice on. It's polyester/acrylic but it's so cheap that it's good to practice on. Don't get black! Not when you're first learning!
Plastic/budget yarn is okay to make things out of, and don't let any knitter try to tell you otherwise. There's more forgiveness in the crochet community when it comes to yarn type because we use so much of it and make bigger things than knitted things usually are. Therefore, we can't always afford the big fancy wool and baby yak yarn blahblahblah. So don't let anyone shame you for using yarn from Joann Fabrics.
When you're done with your knitted project, BLOCK! Always block your things, even if you just make a hat or a scarf. It helps with the drape and it helps with being able to see the stitches you just made! If you're using plastic yarn, buy a handheld steamer [mine was like $30 on Amazon], rust-free pins, and knitting block foam squares. You don't have to buy them specifically for knitting like you can buy children's foam play squares, but i like the ones specifically for knitting bc they have 1-inch x 1-inch grids on them so i know how much to stretch my blocking out lol. There are tutorials online for blocking. It's tedious sometimes, but it makes a world of difference and IMO, as you're learning, always make a habit of blocking your stuff. I didn't do it consistently until recently and boy oh boy
Always make a gauge swatch. Once you're starting looking for patterns to make, you're going to see stuff that's like: 10 rows x 10 rows stockinette stitch = 4 inches ... or something like that. And sometimes they'll tell you whether or not your gauge should be blocked before measuring. If you get into crochet this is even more crucial because crochet is less forgiving when it comes to measurements especially after you wash and block stuff. I made a cardigan once and didn't gauge swatch and essentially it'd look great on a woman who is 7 feet tall but not so much on me lol.
That also being said, if your gauge is off, sometimes you have to change your needles. It depends on how tightly you knit. I am a tight knitter so I usually have to go up a needle size lol. If you're struggling, google how to correct your gauge and it'll tell you what to do if you have too many rows going up or going left to right. Or, too little rows.
WEAVE IN YOUR ENDS! With crochet, people have found workarounds [even tho i still think weaving in ends with crochet is vital] but it's really vital when it comes to knitting because the fabric is thinner and it's more unforgiving and it's always good to have some extra yarn stashed away between the stitches just in case you ever needed to go back and adjust something. there are videos out there on how to weave in your ends without them showing in knitting. It's tedious if you've done a lot of colorwork especially but it must be done!
Be gentle with yourself - knitting can be hard to learn at first bc you're learning how to work both hands essentially at the same time. Same with crochet. Knitting takes a little longer because your stitches are smaller so use knitting as a meditative practice and just get in the zone.
When it comes to knitting, I find that working on circulars helped me with my hand-eye coordination and my tension. However, that may not be as easy for you to start off with. And yes you can knit flat pieces on circular needles. The weight of the straight needles sometimes made my hands tired. However, there are tutorials out there on how to get started on both! Also, circulars are great for teeny tiny decreases in the round like for sleeves or socks — instead of working with double-pointed needles which are my nightmare lol.
But — you're not gonna be making a sweater likely as your first thing so here are some patterns that I think would be simple for a beginner knitter!
You will be making a lot of squares first lol. But it's good practice, and it's good to do! These are all free:
CARON SIMPLE KNIT OMBRE BLANKET SCARF
I have this yarn and it's very lovely, and the scarf itself is very simple to make and will be good, especially to learn stockinette stitch!
LILY SUGAR'N CREAM GET LOOPED KNIT DISHCLOTH
This is a cotton yarn available at most craft stores. This is a free pattern and you're essentially making garter stitch squares. I actually recommend this first because garter stitch is essentially the first stitch you learn, THEN you learn stockinette. The different being stockinette is when you learn how to purl. Garter stitch is when you're just doing the knit stitch on both sides so you get the little wavy-looking thing.
SEAFARING SCARF
This looks cozy lol and it'll help you with practicing ribbing! And this one is FANCY ribbing called fisherman's rib! This is a little more advanced but they have videos in the pattern explaining things like "knit one below."
If you're done scouring the internet for free scarf patterns and have looked at tutorials on how to work in the round, here are some simple and basic tops you can make [I'm unsure how you like to dress or your gender or your presentation so I'm linking sweaters that are on the more feminine side just because it's what I have in my list lol]
GINGERBREAD SWEATER
This is a basic, simple, top-down raglan sweater. Raglan sweaters are ones i prefer to do lol i like the slant at the arm.
CLASSIC RIBBED BEANIE HAT
I make these so much especially when I don't know what to do with my yarn lol.
If you want to start getting a crack on triangle shawls, here's a good free first foray you can try!
THE AGE OF BRASS AND STEAM KERCHIEF
This has some fancy eyelets but they're not intimidating! I promise!
And here's another basic raglan sweater you can try!
WARM-UP SWEATER
Again, another basic, no fancy stuff sweater that is good to begin with when learning how to make sweaters.
---
I know this is really long, I'm sorry nonny lol.
My favorite knitwear designer is Andrea Mowry who you can find here. She has basic patterns and more complicated ones. I find her patterns very easy to follow and she comes up with fantastic ideas. I was very close to finishing the bee sweater once lol. Find your Fade is a BIG one everyone made but that one is a commitment both of time and money so...
But yeah! If there's anything else I can help you with let me know! I'm more experienced with crochet now since I've been doing it longer and made more things, so if you ever wanted to venture into Crochet I got even more stuff for you xD
Woof this got long. I hope some of this helped!
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the gift of lost memories | by burningblake
Summary: 4x10 AU Tag. Jane did go on a date, instead of taking the ride with Teresa. Halfway through the evening, he realizes that replacing the CBI agent with another light-eyed brunette isn't going to help the attraction he feels for her.
Read: AO3 | FFnet
Excerpt:
Nothing makes sense, he thinks, as Tamara drains her third glass of wine, giggling endlessly at a joke he just made. Underneath the table, her bare calf slides across his thigh. He should be enjoying himself. This is his recipe for some good fun, followed to the last letter. And it's working. Yet he cannot shirk the feeling that he's wearing another man's skin, part of him constantly screaming in his head— Get me out of here!
Nothing makes sense.
Except for her. Somehow.
Teresa.
And that's terrifying for an unfathomable reason. A fear so stark it's ingrained into muscle memory, warning him to run away from whatever it is he feels when she traps him into those emerald eyes of hers. Whatever it is that has trained this kind of reaction to something so simple as attraction. His so-called tragedy.
"Patrick, are you listening to me?" Tamara's voice finally breaks into his consciousness.
He grins. "Sorry, babe. I was just distracted by how well the red of your dress flatters your skin."
Another giggle.
Red. Why does that color suddenly make him feel like he's standing on the precipice of a great discovery? What does he know about red? Red: the color of passion, of great desire. The color of blood as well. Some eastern cultures use red wedding dresses as a sign of good luck or fertility. If you want to bed a woman, buy her red flowers.
The memory palace is intact, her voice appears in his head, unbidden .
"Tell me more, I wanna hear more," his date purrs, her eyes glinting beneath a curtain of lashes.
"Oh I could go on for the entire night, Teresa."
He only realizes his slip after he sees the smile fade from his escort's lips. Crap.
"It's Tamara," she politely corrects him.
"Of course, Tamara—you must forgive me, I did almost die ."
And she's back to laughing. Patrick takes a sip of his wine, a veiled attempt to calm down his nerves.
It's lucky that the names are so similar. In fact, it's more than just the names in which the two women share similarities. Any professional mind-reader would read his choice for what it is, from Tamara's chestnut bangs to the light color of her eyes to the slightness of her build—a desperate effort to relieve himself of pent-up emotions accumulated throughout his time with Teresa.
But of course, Tamara is nothing like the CBI agent.
For one thing, she has dodged none of his flirtations so far. And for another, there is no honesty—or dignity, for that matter—in her eyes. And the fact that he's still thinking about Teresa means that he has utterly failed in that little plan of his to burn out his attraction for her via more conventional means.
He drains his glass in sudden haste, gesturing at the waiter to bring the check. Tamara frowns with confusion.
"Excuse me, my lovely lady. I just remembered something very important that I must do."
***
Funny how crime sleeps when she can't. She'd give anything to be dragged to a crime scene across the state right about now. Then again, she doesn't know how she will react to not meeting him there.
She sighs, grabs the remote and turns off the TV. It had seemed like a good idea to fill the silence with some comforting background noise, but The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is the last movie she needs to watch right now, and she does not care for a random reality show either.
She switches off the light and turns to her side. If she doesn't sleep, at least her body and eyes will rest. That's something.
Her phone buzzes, and she thinks— Of course. Of course, how didn't I think of it earlier? I had to taunt the criminals with just the threat of closing my eyes. But no, she reconsiders—If this was about the job, there would be a call. Not a message. She sits up, turns on the light again, and grabs her phone from the nightstand.
Are you sleeping?
It takes her a moment to grasp the reality of having an actual text from him. She checks the time. 1.34 AM. If he's texting her from that woman's bed because he randomly craved some chit-chat, he's so going to regret it. But no —a sudden worry prickles her chest. This might be important. What if he… ? The question barely forms in her mind as her fingers blaze across her phone's keyboard.
Not yet. What is it?
The buzz of his answer comes almost immediately.
I am kinda outside your apartment.
Continue reading.
#the mentalist#fanfiction#jisbon#jane x lisbon#i went a little extra with that edit but that's me i'm extra#also i wanted to try double exposure gifs so...
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WIP Wednesday
Thankuuu for the tag @carlos-in-glasses !! 💗 (Please know how sorry I am that I haven’t been showing the love for Where All This Love Comes From that it deserves yet, my life and mind have been busy and stressed lately so I’ve been somewhat of a passive scroller, but I promise you that I was jumping up and down internally when I saw it had gotten posted, and I shall return to it and pour my adoration out over it as soon as I’m able!)
I do happen to have something to share today, so here is a snippet of an emotional monologue that came to be completely out of my control, from TK trying to reassure Carlos that he is a good man, and is lovable and forgivable for his actions in 4.18
“Carlos, when I met you, one of the things I admired about you was that you were the kind of cop who didn’t believe that anyone was inherently bad, or beyond reprieve. You were - are - the kind who sees the nuances, sees the people behind their actions even if it complicates things. And who knows that even normal, good people can end up in bad situations, can be drawn to desperate measures if they’re pushed hard enough.” He chuckles slightly on the next word, the memory a cherished one. “Baby, you looked at me, sitting across from you in a police station when you barely even knew me, with cuffs around my wrists and a busted lip from a bar fight that I was the one to initiate while I told you about my history with illegal substance abuse, and your first impulse was to apologise for serving champagne that night I ran out on you like a crazy person, and hurt you doing it. Nothing in the way that you looked at me changed. You still looked at me and saw me, saw someone you wanted to help, someone you wanted to get to know on a deeper level, someone you wanted to love. You - just like that, you decided to love me; and not even in spite of, but because of who I was.” TK licks his lips before continuing, tasting salt from the tears he hadn’t noticed had started to fall.
“And even with all the things I’ve told you about my past since then, about the things I’ve done while I was high out of my mind and the things I did to get high or even to conceal how bad it had really gotten, you just kept loving me and believing in me and seeing me. And baby,” TK lifts Carlos’ chin so they’re face to face, rubbing his thumb just to the side and underneath his lower lip, seeing it catch on his thumb and drag slightly with the movement. It’s feels like forever since every place on their bodies became little spots in the world that were among the most familiar to the other’s touch, since every point on their bodies became one suited for providing and receiving physical comfort from the other. “Baby” he repeats, “I could never do anything short of doing you the same courtesy.”
Tags under the cut!
I again have no idea who’s done it and who’s not, so I’ll tag every one of my mutuals, also just for taking the chance to say thank you again (to those I have talked with) and just thank you (to those I haven’t yet) for making this fandom such a nice place and welcoming me into it ! I’m starting to feel more and more a part of it, and that’s really awesome, cause I really like it here! 😌 😊 🙃
And if I have any followers that I’m for some reason not mutuals with, consider this the openest of open tags if you wanna participate!!!!!!!!!!
@heartstringsduet @craftytragedysalad @paperstorm @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @thisbuildinghasfeelings @never-blooms @catanisspicy @lightningboltreader @lemonlyman-dotcom @welcometololaland
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Build Up Episode 0: Getting to Know the Boys Part 1: Team AllRound
Hey, friends! I’m struggling with writing the recap for episode one of Build Up on MNET because I want to stop and give you the background on everyone, which makes the recap really hard to follow. So I figure I’ll spend some time giving you their backgrounds in four separate posts, to help you get to know the guys. I mention things like where else you may have seen them, if they're in an idol group, who knows who, etc, as well as my opinion of their voice based on their teaser performance. I think it’ll make the recaps easier, both to read and to write. In this first post of four, I’ll be talking about the twelve contestants who chose to join the “Allround” category, as opposed to “Soul”, “Power”, or “Unique.” Let’s go!
Before we go on, I just want to let you know that I’ll sharing my informed opinion on their singing voices. I am going to be a little bit harder on them than I am on singers on Boys Planet, with the understanding that these are all great vocalists. We’re looking for the S+ tier guys amongst a group that is A tier at worst. So if I say anything a bit negative about a fave of yours, understand that I’m not saying that he’s a bad singer! Every guy here is an excellent singer. Cool? Cool!
I also have to apologize, but most of my screenshots are going to be pretty awkward. The video I'm watching makes it really hard to use because every time you pause it, it opens all sorts of porny popups. When it's paused, it has a huge pause symbol in the middle of the picture. So I have to try to take screen shots while it's in motion. It's not easy! Hope you understand.
Also, I have even less time than usual to proofread these posts, so please forgive me for my inevitable typos. <3 Thank you!
Choi Suhwan
Suhwan is currently a soloist. He’s released a few digital singles, none of which have really taken off, unfortunately. You might remember him from ProduceX 101, where he made it to episode 11, so the final cut before the finale, finishing in 28th place. Pretty good!
He was V17, doing a cover of Energetic by Wanna One. I wasn’t blown away by that performance -- it sounded a little processed, and I wasn’t completely sure it was live -- so I sought out another one. Here’s a live performance of his song Losing Sleep. Unfortunately, in this performance, I found his voice a little too nasal and affected to be to my taste, and he had serious issues with his upper mix. He’s not a terrible singer, but there are a lot of stronger singers on this show. Or maybe I’m wrong and he’ll do better next time. Fighting!
Bitsaeon
Bitsaeon is 28, and is the main vocalist from M.O.N.T. He seems to have a predilection for soft fuzzy sweaters. He was V36, singing Rose Blossom by H1-Key, and all I wrote down in my notes was “this is just a really nice voice.” I just really liked it. Clean, smooth, easy to listen to.
I think this performance of Creep by Radiohead shows both what I like and what I don’t like as much about his performances. He does a lot of this soft whisper singing in his covers, which seems like a waste of what he can do. I love his full belts -- they’re so good. I want to hear him sing full-on more often in songs, like he did with Rose Blossom.
M.O.N.T. has a whole complicated dealie that I just don’t have the energy to figure out -- the wikipedia page explains some of it. They’re mainly a three member group, with a leader, a rapper, and a main vocal. They haven’t put out any singles in a while, so I’m not sure what’s going on with them.
Incidentally, Bitsaeon almost certain knows Jay reasonably well. Jay was involved in this thing called MONT Arena that was supposed to collect more members for MONT, so along the way I’m sure they met. In fact, Jay is still signed to the same agency as them (along with a few other agencies).
Seunghun
Seunghun is 24 and a member of CIX. His teaser song was V01, Rain by Paul Kim, and his performance was kind of… not my favorite. He sounded at times almost like he had a cold, and at other times I’m pretty sure he went off key -- I don’t know the song so I can’t be sure but it sounded off. He showed a lack of agility on one of his vocal runs, which means that as he tried to sing a lot of different notes all in a row, he had trouble transitioning from note to note quickly and hitting them all neatly. He had to switch awkwardly to falsetto to hit a single high note in the middle of a line, which is kind of not the goal. I think he may just have been nervous or having an off day.
Seunghun also competed on YG Treasure Box, which I didn’t watch, but maybe you did.
Let’s talk about CIX, baby! (Ok, that joke relies on you pronouncing it “six” but it’s really pronounced “see-eye-ex,” if you read the hangul).
CIX is a five-member group under C9 entertainment, which is also the home to Cignature and Epex. CIX features Wanna One’s Bae Jinyoung, who is the center and face of the group. As sometimes happens in cases like this, the member who was in the big Produce group is famous and attracts stans, while sometimes the rest of the group just doesn’t get as much love, and the group as a whole suffers. See also: Gugudan, Weki Meki. However, CIX does ok. Per genius.com, “The group has released several Top 10 albums in South Korea, including Hello Chapter Ø: Hello, Strange Dream which gave them their first chart-topper in the country. The group’s singles have also consistently landed in the Circle Music chart.” So CIX is a little bit closer to say, IVE than it is to, say, Weki Meki.
Personally, I like CIX -- I think the members are talented -- but I don’t love all their songs. However, their song Cinema is so smooth and lovely, it’s like a glass of orange-peach juice for your soul, and that’s in great measure because of their smooth vocals. (Seunghun is the one with the blue hair in that clip, if you want to watch it.) In fact, this is the song I wanted to listen to in the car on the way to the hospital to have surgery a year or two ago when I was feeling pretty scared. My fella said, “This is nice. I like this.” So if you never heard it, give it a chance. I’m looking forward to getting to know Seunghun a bit better and seeing him on a better day.
Yeo One
Yeo One is 28, and is a lead vocalist for Pentagon. I don’t have to tell you about Pentagon, right? Another excellent group who lost a member and whose popularity has ebbed and flowed. If you watched Boys Planet, you know about Hui, and you know that I like Pentagon a lot!
Yeo One left Cube Entertainment just a few months ago, in October of 2023, along with several other members of Pentagon, so though Pentagon hasn’t disbanded, their further activities will be a bit tricky. He had a sold-out solo concert recently, and was profiled in Rolling Stone Korea, so he’s doing ok for a recently solo artist. Yeo One is a lead vocalist of Pentagon, not one of their two main vocalist, and on kprofiles, he actually ranks in last place in the popularity poll. He often would be given pretty brief lines in most Pentagon songs. But we will get to know him and get to love him on this show, right, team?
He performed a ballad for his teaser (V40) and all I wrote in my note to myself is “I hate songs like this so much I almost can’t think straight.” So, instead, I found this little song that apparently he wrote and performed himself -- it’s light and charming. It sounds like a guy sitting by the fire making up a song on guitar and singing it to himself. He’s not a super skilled vocalist from what I’ve heard thus far, not a powerhouse like Hui, but he has a charming vocal color and is just sort of a generally a lovable dude.
Hwang Inhyuk
Inhyeock / Inhyuk (I’ve seen it transliterated both ways -- both would be 인혁 in Hangul) is 26 and is apparently both a soloist and a member of a vocal group called Unison. Unfortunately, I can’t find anything about them since there’s also a Japanese group called “Unison Square Garden” and when you search “Korean vocal group unison” all you get is information about K-pop songs sung in unison, so…. Yeah. Inhyuk is also a composer and lyricist, and has competed on I Can See Your Voice (I’m not sure which season) and Sing for Gold.
He was V29 and performed a song called The First Day. Again, my perspective is skewed because it’s another feckin’ ballad and no thank you. The opening section when he’s singing in a soft, almost gruff voice is really charming, though. It’s so different from what you’d expect from his appearance and general demeanor. He has a really distinct vocal color, and I think he should have chosen “unique” rather than “allround.” Once he heads into the chorus, which requires belting some higher notes, his voice falters a bit. I just get that feeling that maybe he can do better than what he showed in this teaser. Maybe he wasn’t warmed up properly, or maybe he had a bit of a cold, something like that. The potential is there and I sense training was involved. I’m going to keep an open mind about him.
Geonu
Geonu is from Just B and is 22. In addition to going on I-land, he also went on a show called Dancing High, which also featured Seo Won who you may remember from Boys Planet. God, there are so many of these shows. I kind of remember Geonu from I-land, where he did pretty well, making it close to the end. It’s kind of a shame that he didn’t make it into Enhypen since Enhypen is definitely short on vocalists.
If you want to check out one of Geonu’s previous performances, here he is doing a duet performance of BTS’s Butterfly on I-land with Heesung (who did go on to debut in Enhypen).
Geonu has gotten a bit better since then; here is his audition for this show, where he was V10.
His upper mixed register has gotten stronger and a lot less breathy compared to when he was on I-land, but he seems to have developed an unpleasant nasality. Maybe being on this show will spur him to adjust his methodology. He has a really pleasant vocal color and a lot of potential.
(I discuss Just B in Bain’s write up.)
Jang Intae
Per my online sleuthing, Intae, age 27, is a singer-songwriter and is one half of the duo 415. (Their group is named for the fact that both members were born on April 15th, 1997.) 415 has put out seven digital singles and performed a few OSTs, but their MVs generally get fewer than 10,000 views. I think his general style and vibe isn’t what I personally look for in a musician -- it’s a bit too “acoustic lite” -- but I bet a lot of people would like what he and his duo partner do, if people gave them a chance.
His teaser performance, V37, was Missing You by BTOB (a song performed on Girls Planet 999, if it sounds familiar to you -- a member of BTOB is on this show's judging panel). It started off really nasal, but got a bit better as it went along. He strained a bit on the high notes, unfortunately. It wasn’t the best performance, but I’m not going to condemn him for 90 seconds of imperfect singing. I hope that as I see more from him, he gets to show more of what he can do.
Jeong Yoonseo
Jeong Yoonseo is a trainee, and little info is available about him. He’s V32, performing Starlight by Taeil. There are a lot of background vocals -- I think there’s a guide track behind him the whole time! -- so it’s hard to pick out his pure voice. It sounds nice from what I can hear. That’s kind of all I got! (Side note -- I’ve seen his name listed as Jang, not Jeong, but if you read the hangul, it’s Jeong, so IDK.)
Hong Seongjun
Seongjun is 24 and is (was?) a member of a group called BDC, a three member group under Brandnew Music that debuted in the latter end of the pandemic, in September 2020. All three members had been on ProduceX 101. Seongun himself was eliminated in 51st place. They put out several comebacks but never really caught on.
On their kprofiles page, it says “On August 18, 2023, BRANDNEW MUSIC officially announced that BDC will end all official promotions as artists under the company on August 26, 2023, after they mutually decided to end their contracts. Thereafter, the group have been active in Japan and have a fan meeting planned in Korea on December 3, 2023.” I’m not sure what to make of that, but it doesn’t sound great obviously.
I went to check out their M/Vs and remembered that I had actually listened to Moon Rider for a few months there at some point. Pretty decent song, but it got only 3.6 million views. I think it’s just kind of tough for three member groups.
He was V27 and sang a chipper acoustic little song by 10cm. For me, him having such heavy backup vocals for so much of the song kind of makes me wonder, why would you do that? It’s the same thing as the situation with Yoonseo. Isn’t the point to show their vocals? That said, this was a pleasant enough performance -- clean and sweet, with decent agility in some of the runs -- but not something I’m dying to listen to over and over. I think he didn’t really understand the assignment and chose something that would be nice to perform with people watching you, instead of something to sing in the dark.
Jeong Inseong
Inseong is 29 and is main vocal of a group called KNK.
He was V06, performing a song called Letting Go by Day6. I looked it up and this song came out on March 28, 2016 -- just a few weeks after Lim Junhyeok had to leave that group. It being called “Letting Go” is a bit… pointed. Kind of like when f(x) did a song called Four Walls as their first comeback (and last) as a four-member group. Anyway… I really liked this. I just wrote in my notes, “ooh, likey.” This is just so good, I don’t even know how to pick it apart. It’s just a combination of stellar technique and smooth natural vocal color. He does have to go into falsetto to hit a super high note, but he transitions almost instantly. This is good stuff.
KNK debuted in 2016 as a 5 member group. They left their first agency in 2018 but continued as a group at a new agency, losing one member and gaining a new one. Over the last few years, two more members have quit and one more joined, leaving four in the group as of now.
Their most recent single, Ride, came out in September 2020 and currently has about 1.7 million views on Youtube. It’s so easy to tell when Inseong is singing -- it’s like when Kihyun sings in MonstaX and you’re just like YES, come THROUGH. I threw Ride on my playlist just so I can hear more Inseong.
Inseong has been in a bunch of music shows, and also participated in Mixnine, so he may know the other Mixnine contestants, Ma Jaekhyung from Romeo and Donghun from A.C.E. However, he had to withdraw early from the show, so maybe not.
If you want more Inseong, here’s a fun duet he does with the “Korean Madonna,” Kim Wanseon.
Taehwan
Taehwan, 30, is the leader and main vocalist of Vanner, and was V13, singing Goodbye by Park Hyo Shin. You probably know by now that I’m not much of a ballad girl, but at least this is sung simply, with a really warm, textured voice. He does sound really pinched on the higher notes, like his throat is closing, and he gets a bit nasal at times, as well. In my opinion, he lacks technique, but has a lot of natural talent. He also has a great smile.
Vanner is a five member group that debuted in 2019. They had a lot of support as they debuted, and even got significant crowdfunding. They went on Peaktime, as did many other lesser known groups -- and they won! Good for Vanner. Their most recent EP charted very well overseas. Their song Performer, released five months ago, has 8.7 million views on Youtube, and their song Jackpot, released on Jan 30, 2024, already had almost 4 million views at the time of writing, an incredible performance for less than a week. So it looks like Vanner is really starting to take off.
Taehwan may have met Ma Jaekyung, Bitsaeon, and Hong Seongjun when they competed on Peak Time.
Ji Yeonwoo
Yeonwoo is another trainee I just don’t know much about. Apparently he went on a show called Wild Idol, which I haven’t seen. But I do know that his teaser song, V24, Suffer by Charlie Puth, was great. A great combination of a song I actually liked and a voice I really liked. He has great agility, leaping up into falsetto and back down again. He does get a bit pinched sometimes on higher notes, but for whatever reason, it doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s just I’m so glad it’s not a ballad!
Ok, that’s enough for now. I’ll see you in the next one, when I tackle Team Soul, featuring everyone’s favorite. You know who I mean.
#bpr recaps build up#build up#mnet build up#jang intae#jeong yoonseo#vanner#m.o.n.t.#a.c.e.#cix#hong seongjun#BDC#jeong inseong#KNK#taehwan#ji yeonwoo#bitsaeon#suhwan#pentagon#yeo one
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