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#or i would if he like ever used it??? hes used it twice lmao
kitten4sannie · 3 months
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pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi
genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale
summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with Choi San, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.
w.c: 8.2k
tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz
warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies
a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33
*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~
song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress
angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean
smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb
Masterlist
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“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”
With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”
“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”
“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.
She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”
You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”
“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.
Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.
“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.
“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that just knocked all the bad memories out of my brain. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.
Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”
❆ ❆ ❆
Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers with a pout on your sullen face. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”
“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”
She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”
“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.
Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”
You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”
Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.
“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.
Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.
“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”
“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.
“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”
You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”
San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”
Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”
San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”
❆ ❆ ❆
“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.
And then your door opened.
“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”
“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.
“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just emptied a clip right in between his tits, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”
You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”
“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”
You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like it was waiting for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”
San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”
You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”
Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?
“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.
His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”
Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”
You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.
Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.
You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you playfully asked your friend, pouting.
“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried dramatically, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.
San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”
Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”
❆ ❆ ❆
Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.
“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”
You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”
Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.
You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.
By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”
Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.
“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”
“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”
“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”
Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”
“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.
You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That’s nice of him.”
“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.
“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.
San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”
After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”
“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.
You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.
❆ ❆ ❆
You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”
“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”
“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?
“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.
San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.
You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”
San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”
You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”
“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.
He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.
You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.
❆ ❆ ❆
Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.
“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.
You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”
“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”
“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”
She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.
“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.
“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.
He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”
You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.
You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”
“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.
❆ ❆ ❆
“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.
“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”
The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.
“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.
“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”
Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“
You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying-ass pick-me like that.”
“But you picked…him.”
“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”
Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”
You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”
“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.
“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.
“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.
“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.
Your bitter frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”
“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”
San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and running out of the cabin.
Seonghwa and your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare and a ‘don’t follow me.’ from you. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering ‘do something’, encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright. “San, listen to me.”
San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”
Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”
San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”
Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”
San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”
Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”
A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been in there the entire time. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.
❆ ❆ ❆
With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.
Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.
“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.
San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.
San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”
“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.
“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.
San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”
“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”
San stroked the back of his hair in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.
“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.
“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”
“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”
San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”
The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth of risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.
Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.
“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”
“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”
“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”
You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”
San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.
You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.
❆ ❆ ❆
San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.
“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.
“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”
You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.
“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”
Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”
“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”
“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.
“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”
“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.
San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.
“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.
“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”
A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in warm, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.
“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”
San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”
“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”
San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.
“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”
Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”
“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.
“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.
“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”
“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”
San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”
You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.
Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”
“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.
“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.
You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.
“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby, mine to eat, mine to fuck, mine to fill, huh?”
“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.
San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pusling hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.
“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.
The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”
“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”
Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.
San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”
“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.
“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”
“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins popping out of his hands when he gripped your thighs. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”
“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.
Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.
“Again?”
“Again.”
San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.
“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Not until I fill you up again.”
“That’s my boy,” you replied, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.
The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the warm fire crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.
You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the warm blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.
Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.
“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.
“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.
You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”
San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”
You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.
San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”
“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”
San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, his protective walls completely melted away much like the snowfall outside would be once the sun came out the following morning, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt warm. Safe. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”
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© kitten4sannie, 2023.
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𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠
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𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 (Perv!Eddie x Perv!Reader) Eddie is such a perv, constantly wanting to fuck you and do things to you that friends definitely didn’t do. Who knew that a storm was all it would take to change that? 
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭  Absolute filth (18+ only, MINORS DNI or I will fuck your dad into oblivion), pillow fucking, humping but no penetration, dirty talk, unprotected sexual activity (use protection please!!), squirting, mommy kink, voyeurism kink if you squint, Eddie and reader being pervs. 
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 I have no excuse or explanation other than I am a stupidly horny fella and couldn’t stop thinking about this for a while. Perv!Eddie can do whatever he wants to me at this point, I don’t care. Might write more of perv!Eddie if enough people like this and I don’t get shadowbanned. I should really post my stuff on AO3 just to be safe lmao. 
If asked about it, Eddie would say that he definitely wasn’t a pervert thank you very much. That he’d never once thought about you as anything more than a friend.
However, that was as far from the truth as he could get.
It had started six months into your friendship. Up until that point, his dirty thoughts and filthy fantasies had never been related to you. The adult films and magazines he kept hidden under his bed had been inspiration for his perverted thoughts, the men and women in them his sole focus as he thought about every single thing he wanted them to do to him and vice versa, fisting his cock desperately to the over exaggerated sounds the actors in the videos made.
But then the focal point of these thoughts and fantasies and even his wet dreams changed when he accidentally walked in on you getting changed into some clean clothes. He hadn’t seen much, just the curve of your ass in your white cotton panties and a sliver of boob as you’d pulled on one of his shirts over your bare chest. He was out of the room just as quickly as he’d stepped in, embarrassed about walking in on you like that, but the image of your barely clothed body was tattooed permanently onto his brain.
From that point on, his fantasies had morphed so that you were all he was thinking about. His cock sliding leisurely in and out of you beneath your panties until he came on the fabric and made you continue to wear them so that his seed was pressed against your skin and cunt. You riding him on the teacher’s desk inside a locked classroom, your moans and cries loud and needy and alerting everyone outside to what you were doing and who was eliciting those sounds from you. Sliding his rock hard dick between your tits, your tongue flicking out against the tip before he came all over your chest and face. Pushing your head down into a pillow and making you cry from overstimulation as he thrusted in and out of you at a punishing pace, the sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the room as his headboard banged against the wall.
Eddie had often excused himself when you hung out with him, desperate to find the nearest bathroom or rest room so that he could quickly rub one out, but it was never enough. The thoughts still remained, and he had to do it at least twice to satiate him until he was able to take care of himself properly in the privacy of his room when nobody else was around.
And then there were the times when he was at your house. He’d lost count of the number of times since that day that he’d stolen a pair of your panties and taken it home with him to wrap around his aching cock and fuck into a pillow while picturing it was your wet heat that he was burying himself into. He always made sure to wash them after he used them and snuck them back into your panty drawer whenever he was next in your bedroom. He thought he was being very discreet about it; you’d never confronted him about it after all. However, stealing panties just wasn’t enough for him after a couple of months. He wanted to touch you – to fuck you – so bad and no pair of panties in the world would ever feel as amazing as he knew your pussy would.
Then the storm hit.
You’d been hanging out with him for the day now that he’d finally graduated, watching movies with Wayne and eating takeout to celebrate. About an hour after Eddie’s uncle had gone to work, the rain had started falling a lot harder and faster until there were reports of flooding throughout Hawkins all over the news. There was no way you were going to get home until the storm stopped and flooding subsided, so Eddie insisted that you stay the night and sleep in his bed while he took the sofa. It had taken a lot of arguing and a game of rock paper scissors to convince you to take his bed, but now you were sound asleep in his room wearing nothing but one of Eddie’s Hellfire shirts and a pair of his boxers. The fact you were asleep and not doing anything that could be interpreted as even remotely sexual didn’t stop him from getting hard as he lay under a thin blanket on the sofa. He was picturing the way your chest was rising and falling as you rested, your nipples hard and showing through his shirt with an arm tossed back over your face while your other rested on your stomach with your legs slightly parted. And you were wearing his clothes, which made him even more hard. He couldn’t help but palm his crotch over his pyjama pants, the friction good but not enough. It was never enough.
Knowing he could get into a lot of trouble and probably permanently ruin his friendship with you, he threw the blanket aside and crept into his bedroom to grab one of his pillows. His eyes raked over your unconscious form as he did so, biting his lip at the thought of waking you up so he could fuck you into the mattress until you were screaming his name. If he didn’t leave now, he’d never stop thinking about it and that would lead to him feeling far too tempted to go through with it for his liking.
As he turned to make his way back to the living room, his bare foot got caught in some fabric and he bent down to move it, freezing when he saw the familiar white cotton of your panties. The same panties you’d worn when he’d walked in on you changing clothes. He knew he shouldn’t, but he picked them up and held the crotch up to his nose, inhaling the scent and having to bite back a moan at the smell while his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He was addicted to it, the scent never failing to make his cock even harder. He made sure you were still asleep then licked at the crotch of your panties, whimpering softly at the faint taste you’d left behind. It was at that point he realised that there was no turning back now. Even if he wanted to, he was never going to be able to think of anyone other than you when he touched himself. You were going to haunt him until the day he died.
Eddie quickly bent down again to pick up your discarded t-shirt and took both items and the pillow back to the living room with him. Wayne had called earlier to say he wouldn’t be back until noon the next day because of the flooding, meaning he had the living room to himself to do whatever he needed to in order to get his release. He listened out to make sure you were still sound asleep as he pulled your t-shirt over the pillow, his mouth dry. He could say that he couldn’t believe what he was about to do, but that was a lie. This was exactly the sort of thing a dirty pervert like him would do.
And he fucking loved every minute.
Pulling down his pyjama pants to his knees, he hissed when the air hit his leaking dick. The head was an angry red with a bead of pearlescent precum dripping out of it. He pulled up the sides of the pillow as he rested his cock on it, biting his lip as he began to rock his hips a little. The perfect friction against his sensitive cock made him toss his head back, gripping both sides of the pillow with one hand so that it encompassed him. It was nowhere near what he imagined your walls squeezing and milking him would feel like, but it was as close as he was going to get.
“Fuck, mm, yeah, you like that?” he murmured as he slid his cock in and out of the makeshift pussy he’d tried to create, thinking about you with your legs wrapped around his waist and your feet pushing against his ass to drive him deeper inside you. He brought your used panties up to his nose with his free hand and inhaled deeply. His moan was high pitched as he picked up his pace, already desperate to cum all over his pillow. He wondered if he came hard enough whether it would get on your t-shirt too. The image of you finding the clothing he’d soiled and putting it on, gathering some of his cum on your finger and sucking it into your mouth with a groan, made his hips stutter as he began to fuck the makeshift pillow pussy harder. He licked the crotch of your panties again, desperate to have your taste on his tongue as he got himself off.
“Somebody’s being a dirty boy, aren’t they?”
Your voice had him panicking, immediately stopping his movements as he tossed your panties away from his blushing face. He knew that being caught in the act was supposed to make him feel embarrassed and ashamed, but the thought of you seeing him fuck himself on a pillow clad in your shirt while he breathed in your panties made him want to keep going and show you just what a fucking mess you made him.
He watched as you moved closer to the sofa he was kneeling on, your hands making him drop the sides of the pillow. He almost came there and then when you bit your lip and moaned, his cock twitching as you gazed down at it. A shiver ran through his body when you teasingly trailed a finger from the base to the tip, dipping it into the slit to collect some of his precum. You stared into his eyes as you licked the digit agonisingly slowly.
“What’s wrong, Eds? Aren’t you gonna fuck that pillow for me? Or would you prefer something a little different?” you asked.
He shuddered and groaned quietly. “I didn’t –”
“Didn’t what?” you cooed, slowly pulling his boxers off your body and kicking them aside. “Didn’t think I’d catch you? Didn’t think I knew what you did with my panties every time you came over to my house? Didn’t think I’ve heard you getting off in the bathroom thinking about me?”
Whimpering, Eddie nodded his head and watched as you moved your hand to between your legs and pulled it back to show him your wet, sticky arousal all over your fingers. He obediently opened his mouth when your prodded them against his lips, sucking them and licking them as he fisted the pillow beneath him. He loved the way you’d tasted in your panties, but this? This was far better than he ever could have imagined.
“I’ve been waiting for months now for you to just take me,” you told him. “Wanted you to just grab me and fuck me until I’m cock-drunk and can’t think of anything other than how good you make me feel. Been touching myself every single night thinking about you. Had to buy a dildo and hide it in my closet so I could fuck myself on it thinking about you and that dick of yours, but it’s never enough. I’m constantly craving the real thing and I’m tired of waiting for you to bend me over and fuck me against the kitchen counter.”
He mewled and started to rock his hips against the pillow once more as you spoke. Never in a million years did he think that you were just as desperate for him as he was for you, nor that you were just as perverted as he was.
“Please,” he begged, your fingers dropping from his mouth. “Please touch me. Want you to make me cum so bad. Need you.”
You smirked as you took his chin between your thumb and forefinger. “Seeing as you asked so nicely…”
He could’ve climaxed there and then when you moved to straddle the pillow he was fucking, the lips of your cunt on top of his cock. You both sighed out a moan as he slid between your folds and the pillow slowly, your slick coating him. Eddie glanced down at where your bodies met and watched him move in and out of your slit. His focus was quickly torn away from the sight when your grabbed his hair and yanked it so that he was looking at the lust-filled expression on your face.
“Look at me when I’m helping you to cum. I could’ve just left you like this and made you watch me get off, rubbing my clit at the sight of you so desperate you’d fuck a pillow just to get some relief,” you demanded, making him release a choked out gasp.
“I’m sorry, mommy. You’re such a good mommy, letting me cum like this,” he replied, almost sobbing.
As you smashed your lips into his, tongues meeting as you pulled his head in the direction you wanted it to go, he began to roll his hips a little faster. His fingers flicked against your clothed nipples as he leaked more precum onto the pillow and he relished the way your hips bucked against him. He allowed one of his hands to stop playing with your nipples and started to rub your clit in hurried circles.
“Good boy.” You praised him while you pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva remaining between your mouths. “You gonna make me cum, baby? Gonna make me soak your cock and pillow while you desperately fuck the pillow? Such a dirty boy.”
His hand that had been pinching your nipple moved to grab your waist as his movements became sloppy, his climax quickly approaching at the combination of your pussy on top of his dick, the friction of the pillow beneath you both, and your sinful words. You grabbed the hand that was touching your clit and guided his movements, moaning as he touched you exactly how you liked it. You were jerking into his touch and gliding back and forth over his hard cock as he started to whine and whimper. The moment he felt you clench on top of him as you cried out, squirting over his cock and hand, he threw his head back and groaned while he came. His hips continued to jolt forward as you kept grinding down on him until he finished cumming. Both of you panted and clung to one another as you slowly came down from your highs.
When you were ready, you climbed off the pillow and admired the mess the two of you had made. Your shirt was covered in your cum and his and the bottom of Eddie’s tank top was soaked, his cock glistening as he shakily stood up and pulled his pyjama pants back up. Your lips descended upon his before he could say anything, your hands cupping his face while he rested his on your hips.
“Mm,” you murmured as you backed away from his lips. “You were such a good boy for me, Eddie. Next time don’t make me wait six months. If you want to touch me, kiss me, fuck me, whatever, do it.”
He searched your face for any hint of teasing or joking. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
You laughed. “And say what? Oh Eddie, I want you balls deep inside of me while I bounce on your cock in the back of your van where anyone could catch us by looking through the windows?”
He groaned and felt his cock twitch in his pants. “Please tell me we get to keep fucking like this. I don’t think I can go back and pretend this never happened.”
“Sure. But on one condition.”
He nodded frantically. “Anything.”
You felt him shiver as you ran a finger down his chest. “Take me on a date next Friday. Pick me up at 8:30pm and take me out for a burger and milkshake. Then you can take me home and fuck me silly while you tell me all the dirty little things you wanna do to me. How’s that sound?”
He grinned excitedly and lightly pressed his lips against yours. “Yes, mommy.”
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maglorthecrab · 18 days
Text
🌅 rainbowmiku Follow
Ok so who was going to tell me not ONE but TWO chief prosecutors for my district have been arrested for murder
💿 makosharko Follow
Hey op do you live in fucking night vale
🕰️ athelas Follow
I did the research for y’all in the notes going wild wanting to know where op lives (and also bonuses of being a law student yay) so the only area I can find where a chief prosecutor has been arrested for murder is L.A. then I reckon they said two because the present chief prosecutor for L.A. is Miles Edgeworth, who has been accused of murder twice but cleared of both charges
🔮 ghosthunters Follow
fellow LA denizen here, fun fact! chief prosecutor edgeworth is married to a defence attorney
🌅 rainbowmiku Follow
He’s WHAT
🎈skyrensics Follow
said defence attorney has also been accused of murder before.
🪜ladderhosen Follow
Oh yeah that defence attorney is Phoenix Wright btw- he defended me for a murder charge once
🎈skyrensics Follow
oh nice! he defended my sister once :) she got accused of murdering someone in her offices parking lot lmao
🛒guiltylove Follow
@skyrensics wait is your sister fucking Lana Skye
🫧 pearlescent Follow
The former chief prosecutor’s sister uses tumblr????
🦔 wrongbird Follow
*opens door of reblogs to whisper* the current chief prosecutor also uses tumblr folks
🐚 demaskmasque Follow
WHAT
🍄 magisteel Follow
apparently he likes the samuraiverse! I wouldn’t be surprised if he was lurking in fan circles on here. Evidence btw- he has a steel samurai figure on his windowsill + a signal samurai keychain.
🌅 rainbowmiku Follow
these updates just get wilder and wilder. I’m learning more about my city’s lawyers than I ever thought I would.
🔮 ghosthunters Follow
everyone really skipped over the fact that it seems like half of LA’s legal system is on tumblr. god forbid they find this post
⚖️ calidistrictattorneysoffice Follow
hey
🛒 guiltylove Follow
NO. THEY HAVE AN OFFICIAL TUMBLR???
🌻 wrightandcolaw Follow
Is this a good time to say hello?
🌅 rainbowmiku Follow
never did I think one of my tumblr posts would attract the literal state of California prosecutors office or the wright and co law officef ashnduhjsjkkshg
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cbini · 9 months
Note
skz fucking you infront of a mirror?
chan - honestly this is probably a staple in the bedroom for chris. he likes to save this for when you’re feeling insecure so he can show you in detail everything he loves about you, but he also just likes it period. despite his aversion to looking at himself, he actually kind of…. enjoys that too? idk something about watching himself fucking you through the mirror does something to him. he can appreciate his arms or his thighs or his abs and how they look when they’re being used to bring you pleasure
minho - big ole meany, this one. if you don’t already have a mirror in your bedroom he’s buying one specifically for beside the bed lmao. maybe it’s one of those standing mirrors or he’ll hang it on the wall. either way, it’s there and it’s not leaving. big advocate for using it as part of a punishment “if you look away i’ll stop, you know i will” “watch yourself while i eat your pussy, if you close your eyes i’ll spank your little clit raw” you know how it goes
changbin - bin likes when you play with him in front of a mirror. ultimately it leads to actual sex, but like. mutual masturbation in front of a mirror with changbin? touching yourself and watching him touch himself through the mirror, maybe telling him how to do it. “stroke your cock slower, changbinnie, it’ll feel better like that.” “spit in your hand, there you go. don’t look away.” he loooves that. he also likes (or at least has a fantasy) of fucking you in front of the mirrors in the gym. your tits spilling out of your sports bra and legging pulled halfway down your thighs
hyunjin - loves this and especially as an art connoisseur he thinks it’s beautiful. something about angles and lighting, you know the drill. he already thinks you two are meant for each other and that you look perfect together, so he really enjoys fucking you in front of a mirror. he almost gets a little hypnotized seeing you move together, watching how his hips thrust into you and seeing the scratches on his back from your nails, how your perfect legs wrap around him
jisung - like i said in the sugar daddy post, he loves shit like this lmao. mirrors on the ceiling or like a full wall of mirrors is so sexy to him, you’re being put in all kinds of different positions and being tugged this way and that so he can look his fill. he likes watching you fuck yourself in front of a mirror, whether it’s just you using your fingers or using a toy, he’ll get down on his knees for you sooner or later, but he’s happy with watching until you make yourself cum first
felix - has maybe once or twice or several times jerked off in front of a mirror. it’s not like he does it every time he touches himself, but it happens pretty frequently. he thinks his fingers look cute wrapped around his cock and really likes the way his abs clench when he’s close. fucking you in front of a mirror he likes just as much, if not more for obvious reasons. he can’t take his eyes off of where you’re connected together. he’s really in the zone, you know that look he gets on his face when he’s performing. yeah, that one
seungmin - you’d have to convince him to try this out. “pleeease seungmin? for me?” he’ll roll his eyes and huff, but you know good and well the second you pouted at him he was going to give you whatever you wanted. he also ends up liking this from a more artistic viewpoint? he’ll want to take pictures, but he won’t bring that up the first time. he will the second time though and will bring out all the stops. fix the lighting, open the curtains, ask you to wear something pretty maybe
jeongin - oh he loves this shit. he didn’t know he would love it, but ever since the first time you tried it he’s been hooked. jeongin’s another one who wants to take some pictures, and he wants to take videos too. he’ll mainly use these pictures and videos on tour when he’s all lonely and pent up, nothing gets him off quicker than watching the video he took of him giving you backshots in the mirror, your back arched and him holding your arms behind your back.
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redstarwriting · 10 months
Text
the clash | ii. time bomb
hobie brown x goth!reader
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word count: 1.5k
genre: enemies to lovers
warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, y’all almost fight twice lmao
a/n: felt bad only posting the first chapter, so here’s the second one as well! i’ll get the third one out as soon as i can, but a bitch has work tomorrow and the next day. please enjoy chapter two everyone! and if you wanna be added to the taglist just let me know! :)
now reading: ii. time bomb
previous chapter: i. hey, ho! let’s go!
next chapter: iii. black planet
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Hobie swings his way to where he’s sure Gwen is, and in doing so he will probably also find Miles and Pavitr. He’s sure he looks like if someone said the wrong thing to him, he would punch them in the face, because honestly? He just might. And he doesn’t care. You pissed him off. With your stupid opinions. People like you are the reason anarchy can never succeed, you’re either all in or you’re all out. He hates the way you dismissed him, which is a shame because he really thought you were drop-dead gorgeous.
Speaking of drop, that thought makes him drop. Like, actually. He face plants.
He groans. Fucking hell, he’s never had to deal with this type of hatred before. Usually, it’s just cut and dry ‘I hate you cause xyz’, but fuck you are making it hard. While he hates you for what you said, he loves your style, and he respects you standing your ground and not giving into him with your beliefs, but at the same time, you piss him off. He glances around, “Meant to do that.” No one in particular hears him, but he quickly webs off again. He searches for bright blond hair, and sure enough, he sees Gwen. She’s chilling in the common room Hobie claimed as his own a while back. He claimed it by… redecorating. He just made it feel more like home, and since Miguel is such a lame ass, he didn’t appreciate all the colorful spray paint and broken furniture. But Hobie doesn’t really give a fuck. As he gets closer, he can see that Miles and Pavitr are there too, and… absolutely fucking not.
He lands directly next to you with an unamused look on his face. “And who invited you into my home away from home?” You look at him and roll your eyes. “This your place? Well, that explains why it looks like someone gave Mayday Parker a 50-pack of markers and told her to go to town in here–”
“Ha ha. Funny.”
“–and to answer your question, I invited myself,” you say smugly, and he narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t try to make me like you, it’s not gonna work, love,” he growls, and everyone can tell by the way he said love that he certainly did not mean it as a term of endearment. “I wouldn’t dream of it, mate,” you say, imitating his accent in over-exaggerated way. “I don’t think they are actually calling him their mate,” Pavitr whispers to Miles, who gives him an expression practically dripping in ‘no shit.’ Hobie tears his gaze away from you and looks at Gwen. “We need to show this twat around,” he huffs, and Gwen raises her eyebrows. “We? Isn’t that your job,” she says, and Miles nods. “Yeah, I remember you said you made a deal with Miguel that–”
“I don’t give a fuck if it’s my ‘job,’ when have I ever followed the rules of a fuckin’ job?” he seethes, and you snicker. “Aw, how endearing, the punk rebel has a job. I’ll be sure to go to Miguel and tell him you’re doing amazing, so that you don’t get fired, in fact, you could get promoted!”
“That’s it,” Hobie growls and turns to you, grabbing the neck of his guitar and getting ready to use it. You smirk and slightly crouch, ready to jump away or towards him, based on his next move. “OKAY! Okay, we’ll help you just put the damn guitar down,” Miles says, jumping between the two of you. Hobie looks at him before looking at you with a deep frown. “I don’t need help. I just need to make sure other people are here, so I don’t murder this nitwit,” he says, tossing his guitar back so it hangs off his back again. “If anythin’, you’re helpin’ them.”
“I don’t need help either. Especially not yours. I’ll find my way around here myself,” you say, crossing your arms. He turns and offers you a smile. “Well now that you say you definitely don’t want my help, looks like I’m gonna be that friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and assist you.”
“My hero,” you say sarcastically, pushing past him and walking out of the room. He motions for the others to follow you first, and walks out last, slinking in the back. Gwen takes up the role he usually plays in showing everyone around. You nod and listen, occasionally asking a question and cracking a joke. He hates to admit it, but your jokes are actually very funny. It’s refreshing to hear deadpan, straightforward, dry comedy instead of the puns and silly jokes all the other Spider-People love to make. But he doesn’t laugh. Doesn’t even crack a smile. Just watches you.
‘Like a creep,’ you think, catching him staring at you for what feels like the 50th time. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t like the attention you were getting from him. Truthfully, he’s probably the most attractive person you’ve ever laid eyes on.
Such a tragedy he’s also the worst person you’ve ever had the displeasure to speak with.
“Your suit is so cool, by the way,” Miles says to you, and you give him a grin. “Thanks. Made it myself.”
“Yeah. I can tell,” you hear Hobie pipe up, and your head snaps towards him. “Because it’s so stylish, fashionable, and better than anything you could do yourself?”
“No. ‘Cause it looks like it was put together by a colorblind toddler. If you look close enough, the blacks don’t even match,” he says, smirking. Now this was a lie. All the black in your suit was a perfect shade of raven, he just knew it would piss you off. And it did. “Fuck you. At least my suit doesn’t look like a twelve-year-old who just discovered Hot Topic for the first time,” you hiss, and he scoffs. “Watch your fuckin’ mouth there, mate.”
“You watch yours, mate.”
“Okay, both of you shhhhhhh!” Gwen says, and you both look at her. “Don’t tell me what to do–”
“Stop talking like me!”
“What?! You stop talking like me!”
“Oh my God, the romantic tension is through the roof right now!” Pavitr suddenly pipes up, and now the both of you are staring at him, dark expressions on your faces. “I’d rather be eaten alive by a single piranha so it would take days until I finally succumbed to the sweet release of death,” you hiss and Hobie nods. “Finally. Somethin’ we agree on.” He turns and looks at you, and you roll your eyes at him. “Way to de-escalate, buddy,” Miles whispers to Pavitr, and Pavitr sighs as Miles walks a little faster to catch up with everyone else. “But I was being serious…”
Gwen continues to show you around, and when she finally finishes, you all are back at ‘Hobie’s common room.’ You walk back inside and sit on the tattered and broken-down couch. The way the room is decorated is kind of cool, you must admit. You’re just not a fan of the mismatched colors everywhere. And it could use a couple more decorations. Like bat skeletons. Or just live bats. That would be adorable. “Thanks for showing me around,” you thank Gwen, Miles, and Pavitr. “Not you, though,” you say to Hobie and he snorts. “Good. I wouldn’t want you to thank me for anything.”
“Why do you two hate each other so much? Didn’t you literally just meet?” Miles asks, looking exhausted from the snarky remarks coming from both of you. “We did,” you confirm. “And we don’t get along cause they don’t have any strong belief system.”
“Yes, I do! I’m just realistic, and he can’t understand that,” you say and he rolls his eyes. “Realistic, eh? I already told you I led a rebellion.”
“And I told you it doesn’t matter because everyone is shit. How many villains have you fought since this rebellion you led?”
“None of your fuckin’ business.”
“So, you’ve fought at least one. What did that rebellion get you then, huh?”
“I recommend you shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you.”
“Please, do try. I need a new skeleton for my collection,” you growl and the two of you jump at each other. Luckily, Gwen and Miles web both of you and hold you back. “That’s enough of that,” Gwen says. “I have an idea,” Miles says, “why don’t we go visit your universe, (Y/n)? Maybe then Hobie can see why you’re so… negative.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere near that place,” Hobie nearly yells. “Good. I don’t want you there anyway.”
“On second thought, I think it might be very eye-opening to see the world you grew up in. Maybe I can team up with your sinister six and put you in your place,” he spits out at you, causing you to glare at him and flip him off again. “A field trip sounds fun, especially after all this just happened. Maybe it will help the two of you lighten up,” Pavitr says, and you both roll your eyes. “Fine. You can all come. But if you step one toe out of line, Hobie–”
“What? You’ll yell at me?”
“No. I’ll torture you to the point that you would beg me for death.”
“Promise?”
“Always.”
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『 tag list 』
@casmosmoon* @khaleesihavilliard​ @sparklyphantom​​ @weyrrii*
*if you are italicized - i am unable to tag you for whatever reason, feel free to reach out and see if we can fix the issue
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sanguineterrain · 9 days
Note
for the dc prompts you reblogged:
can i request jason todd x reader "someone likes being pinned down" + A flirting with B while sparring to throw them off their tracks
where reader is also a vigilante??
thank you so much 🩷
very sexy prompts thank u 😌
jason todd x gn!reader. r and robin!jay were friends, r doesn't know jason is alive/red hood but jason knows r is a vigilante. r's alias is 'nocturne' (if that's already in use oh well lmao). fighting/sparring, jason is mega in love with you as usual!!
all fics at @sanguinelibrary
****
"Still blindly following the Bat, huh?"
You land in a crouch on the rooftop, just like how Nightwing taught you. The Red Hood doesn't look at you, digging through two duffel bags. He doesn't even draw his gun, like you've seen him do with virtually every other vigilante in Gotham.
You wait, ready to spring into action. But Hood doesn't stop what he's doing. Slowly, you rise.
"What... do you mean?" you ask.
"I mean, why are you traipsing around Gotham as a bat-adjacent? Who are you s'posed to be anyway? Goth Bat? Alternative Scene Bat?"
"I'm Nocturne," you say, shoulders rising to your ears. Rude. You thought the chunky boots and star over your suit's eye mask were inspired.
Red Hood lifts a hand. "Don't get me wrong, I dig the threads. I'm just surprised B didn't have an aneurysm over the sequins. Then again, Discowing did do it first..."
Your first two meetings with the infamous Red Hood have been similar in that he's never very concerned about you stopping him (ouch), but he also isn't callous or cruel with you like he is with the other vigilantes.
Case in point: the last person who cornered Hood on a roof was Red Robin. Hood shot him in the shoulder before he could land.
In short, he's perplexing as hell.
Batman's forbidden the rest of the team to confront Hood without backup. And you're technically not supposed to be on patrol tonight. But if you can intercept Hood, that'll be a huge win.
Hood keeps on packing the duffels. You hesitate, then step forward.
"Get away from the bags," you say. "I won't ask twice."
Hood looks at you. "Nocturne's a pretty cool name, I'll admit. And I like the boots. But I still think you oughta call it quits."
He zips up the bags, stands, and kicks them to the corner of the roof.
"Because you're just that unstoppable?" you ask, hands curling into fists.
"Yeah. But mostly 'cause I know you're made for so much more than this, sweetheart."
And that is the third and perhaps most bewildering thing about your encounters with Red Hood: you've gotten the creeping feeling that he... likes you.
Which is ridiculous, and if you ever breathed a word of that to anybody, Batman would probably check you into Arkham.
You take another careful step forward. Hood leans against the railing and folds his arms.
"This the part where you apprehend and hogtie me for innocently packing a duffel bag?" he asks.
You glare. "Innocent? I know you're making a weapons delivery because I know you've been waiting for Batman to be off-planet to make it."
"Clever. Told ya you're too good for this," Hood says. "Should be in college with those smarts, not playing maid for Batman."
"Are you lecturing me?"
"I'm advising you as your friendly neighborhood drug lord. Lecturing makes me sound like a guy who's got too much money and too big of a savior complex to understand that the way he fights injustice is fundamentally flawed."
"Sounds personal."
Hood laughs. "Honey, you have no idea."
You strike.
Hood parries your first attack easily, which you expect. The truth is that whoever trained Hood cut no corners and you're still relatively new at vigilantism. It's only by the grace of God that Hood hasn't left you to bleed out on a roof.
You kick his shin, but Hood turns on the instep and blocks. You go for his shoulder, where his armor separates to give him more movement. But Hood's ready for that too, and he catches your arm.
"Gotta keep that right arm up," he says. "Surprised no one's trained that outta you yet."
You elbow Hood in the throat. He coughs and lets go.
"Like that?" you ask, muscles tense with adrenaline.
Hood makes a sound that might be a laugh, still choked from your hit. "Just like that, honeylove. Good job."
"I don't need feedback," you snap, immediately going back in for another hit.
"Sorry. I'll make this quick then. I do have a delivery."
On the next strike, you advance, using a technique Nightwing drilled into your head for bigger opponents. Hood goes down and you land atop him.
"Oh, that's a Nightwing takedown if I've ever seen one," Hood says beneath you.
You're close enough that you can hear his breathing through the decoder. Pride swells in you at taking him down. Not even Batman has managed such a thing.
Hood is warm and big. His shoulder span alone dwarfs you. When you'd seen him from afar, fighting Batman or Nightwing, you'd been terrified.
But now, perhaps stupidly, you feel comfortable. Annoyed, but safe. Something about him reminds you of home. Makes your stomach flip in a good way.
Which is terrifying.
"You're coming with me," you say, reaching for your cuffs.
"If only. Unfortunately, you've forgotten a teensy weensy detail, dearest."
Hood bucks you off, legs first. Your feet fly into the air, which allows him to flip your positions. You wince, preparing for a concussion upon impact as you go down. But Hood cushions your fall and neatly rolls you over. Your back is pressed into the concrete, hands locked over your head. Hood's weight holds down your hips and legs.
He looms over you, easily holding you down. Your face grows hot.
"How did—" You squirm in his grip. "I had you!"
"Weight distribution, sweets. Tell Al—one of the Bats to add weight to your boots. They keep you light on your feet, but you were depending on them too much to hold me down, and we ain't evenly matched there."
You thrash in his grip. "Hood, I swear to fucking—"
"Easy. Don't sweat it, sweetheart. You haven't been doing this for very long. That was a good takedown, regardless. I'm impressed."
"Screw you."
He hums. You can tell he's smiling under the helmet. "Sorry, I forgot. You don't like feedback."
Hood strokes the inside of your wrist. You aren't sure he's aware he's doing it. His grip is firm but light. He's not trying to hurt you. Your pulse is in your throat.
For a moment, you're both still. Hood seems caught in a trance, like even Superman couldn't tear him away from this moment. From you. And it's not that you're afraid, you're just... you're...
"How do you know so much about me?" you blurt, because it's puzzled the whole team. "You been spying on me?"
"'Course not. Unlike your boss, I respect privacy. No, I did research. I recognized you from when you'd hang around that second Robin. Shrimpy little guy. What'd ya even see in him?"
The grief overtakes you before you can control your mouth.
"You don't know anything about me or him," you spit. "Don't fucking talk about him. He had more skill and goodness in his pinkie than you'll have in a lifetime. And you could learn a thing from him about changing a city. He'd tell you that fear alone never works."
Hood is quiet for a long moment. Then he speaks.
"Where's your distress signal?"
"Why would I tell—"
Hood shifts over you, cutting off your reply. He pulls a ziptie around your wrists. They're not even a little tight. You could probably slip out of them if you had five minutes.
"I know you're not s'posed to be out tonight," he whispers in your ear. "'S not your patrol night. Good thing you're my favorite."
You nearly swallow your tongue. "How do you—I don't—"
"Uh-huh. So you be good from now on, yeah? Wouldn't wanna have to keep tying you up like this."
You lift your chin. "We'll switch positions soon enough."
Hood snorts. "Okay, I know you heard how that soun—"
"I heard it," you say grumpily. "Just get on with it. Jerk."
"As you wish. Distress signal?"
"Collar."
Hood presses the button under your collar. Your breath hitches as his gloved fingers graze your neck.
"Oh? Does somebody like getting pinned down?"
"In your dreams."
Hood laughs. He zipties your ankles last, then sits you upright against the railing.
"Not too tight, are they?" he asks. "I know you've got a circulation problem."
You squint. "You seem to know a lot about me. Not fair that I don't know much about you, Hood."
"'S just business, honeylove," he says, scooping up his duffel. "Now I don't wanna see you in a suit anymore, comprende?"
"Or you'll what? Shoot me?"
Hood pauses, eerily still. He turns those glowing white eyes upon you. Your heart picks up.
"No," he says, so serious it startles you. "But someone else might. And I don't want you to face the same fate as your good friend Robin."
He vaults over the railing before you can respond. Your head thunks lightly as you lean back and wonder if you're really just business to the Red Hood.
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nackrosor · 8 months
Text
~Midnight Healing~
𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝔁 𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓮!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
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[I highly recommend to put this song on repeat as background music. It will help set the mood.]
warnings/tags: 18+ smut, p*rn with feelings & plot, unexperienced reader, first kiss, first time, oral s*x (fem receiving), p in v, soft Ghost, slow dance, mutual pining, slight angst/comfort, Soap being the best mate, the team being supporting in their own way lmao, cap. price approved 👌🏻 summary: You're at the pub, enjoying a night out with your team. The soothing lulling music, the booze, Johnny's taunts and your own repressed feelings embolden you to invite Simon to join you in a slow dance. The dance leads to long overdue confessions which in turn lead to your first time together. word count: 12.5k. (longest one yet)
A special and huge thank you to my dear @magnoliabutters who has helped me SO MUCH. You've given me so many suggestions that inspired me to write the best possible version of this story. I probably would have given up halfway through if it wasn't for your support. I love you and appreciate you a lot. ♥️
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You close your eyes and take a deep breath, elbows resting on the smooth surface of the counter with a thumb circling the cold rim of your half-full glass of bourbon. The soothing blues music playing in the background adds to your sense of calm, with notes vibrating through your limbs, echoing in your ribcage, and clearing your thoughts. You let yourself be lulled by the soft melancholy tune, quietly humming along and rocking your head in rhythm. 
Given your job as a task force officer, you rarely get a breather and a chance to enjoy a night out. It is a luxury for you and that is what makes it so special, a time to truly look forward to. Especially when you can share it with your brothers in arms, your family, not bonded by blood but by a profound feeling born through shared hardships and nurtured by trust, respect and understanding. One would imagine you'd prefer to spend your free nights alone or with different people, perhaps even a one-night lover, rather than with your coworkers, the very same guys you spend your entire days with, through sweat and tears, anger and frustration, and occasionally a moment of respite. This is exactly the reason why you wouldn’t dare unwind with anyone else; they are everything for you, the sole people you trust and you would gladly give your life for without hesitation. Why would you need anybody else? 
Seeing them loosen up for one night, just enough to treat themselves to a pint or a glass of whiskey is such the delight. You wouldn’t even need to chug a drink of your own to feel the tension leave your body, finally allowing yourself to relax. 
This time is no exception. Same place, same company, same feeling of being exactly where you need to be, of needing literally nothing else in the world.
"Enjoying yourself?" 
Soap's voice sounds clear in your ear and interrupts your blues-induced trance. A lazy smile greets you as you turn to look up at him. He settles down on the barstool next to you.
"Yeah… I love this music. It feels like a lullaby but instead of making me want to sleep, it makes me want to move, you know? "
"Sounds like you want to hit the dance floor! Care to give us a show?" 
"Wouldn't you like that!" 
You smirk at him, bumping your shoulder against his.
"Who wouldn’t?” he returns the nudge, playfully winking at you, “But I know someone who would particularly enjoy it, more than anybody else."
You raise an eyebrow, giving him a knowing look. Every time you come to the pub, you can't avoid one or two, occasionally three, drunken brash males hitting on you or simply gluing their eyes on you from afar, never stopping for the entire time you're here. You'd think that being literally surrounded by four menacing - some more than others - muscular men would prevent anyone from ever looking your way twice, especially weak-minded misogynists who don't believe a woman could take care of herself… That clearly isn't the case. Go figure! These people have no sense of shame or… self-preservation. 
"What ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude is staring at me this time?" 
A chuckle escapes him. He shakes his head as he swirls the liquid in his glass before taking a sip. 
“No ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude , just a possibly ugly dude.”
"Oh?" a wry smile takes form on your lips, "well, I could get behind that."
"He's been throwing some not-so-sneaky glances your way ever since we arrived."
"Yeah?”, you ask, taking a quick glance around the room. “Coordinates, Sergeant. Don’t leave me in the dark."
Soap's eyes glint mischievously as he subtly nods to your left, then raises his glass to his lips to take another sip and mask his grin. You follow the trajectory of his nod, gaze skimming the whole length of the counter, overlooking the serene faces of Gaz, Laswell, the captain, until it locks on a familiar pair of big dark eyes. The smirk on your lips immediately falters and your stomach flips. 
Simon is holding your gaze, seemingly unfazed, arms folded across his chest and muscles flexing under his black windbreaker. No matter how accustomed you are to seeing him in his casual attire, your heart always loses a beat whenever your eyes land on him. The way his skull balaclava hugs his face and the way the hood of his dark grey sweatshirt is all the way up, hiding his head, make his mesmerising eyes circled with black make-up even more striking and thus much more lethal to your poor weak heart. You’re so attracted to him, so infatuated… you’ve never felt this inexorable pull toward anyone before. It’s like a new form of gravity, so strong that you can’t even avert your gaze; it takes too much effort, like going against the laws of nature. 
Soap’s giggle draws you back from the trance. Your eyes dart around aimlessly for a moment before you whip around to glare at your friend.
“You’re a bastard.”
He shrugs innocently, that stupid grin of his still tugging at his lips.
"You saw it for yourself, he was staring."
"Yeah, 'cause he probably heard you or read your lips or… something."
"Right,” he says with a scoff, elongating the word. “Didn’t know superman was part of the 141…"
His mocking tone makes you roll your eyes. Grabbing your glass, you bring it to your lips and savour the sensation of the cool, sweet but strong liquid flowing down your throat. As you knock the empty glass back onto the counter, you catch a glimpse of Ghost. Fortunately, this time he appears to be engaged in discussion with Price, providing you with the green light that allows your wistful gaze to linger on him, unnoticed. 
"Well, you must admit that…”, you mutter almost to yourself, eyes reverently roaming his figure, “...if anyone had superpowers in our team, it would definitely be him." 
"Heh. You certainly look at him as if he already has them."
Johnny interrupts your reveries again and you shake your head, tearing your eyes away from Simon and trying to clear your mind in the process. "Stop it. He's just, he's-" 
"He's single, for all I know." 
The sergeant shrugs again with an innocent smile as you give him the stink-eye.
"You’re a menace ."
You poke him hard in the ribs, causing him to wince and almost spill his drink. You both can’t help but laugh.
“I swear if you told him or anyone anything… I'll strangle you in your sleep.”
“Mmm, so passionate, y/n. He’s gonna love that.”
You roll your eyes again, yet can't help but smile.
Soap is your best mate; you're closer to him than the rest of the squad, which is saying a lot given how close the team is. You may or may not have let your feelings for Simon slip during a private conversation one night at the HQ while you were a little tipsy, and he's been a little shit about it since then, unwilling to let you live it down. You know it's all in good fun, there's no malice in his words, but his taunts do nothing to help you keep your feelings under control. 
“You should tell him, by the way.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Johnny…”
“I just don’t understand why you’re keeping it to yourself. You scared of getting rejected?”
You shrug, your gaze fixed on the empty glass in front of you as you fidget with it absentmindedly. He struck a nerve. Taking the first step without being absolutely certain that your feelings are reciprocated and thus making a colossal blunder scares the shit out of you. Actually, the mere thought of taking a shot in the dark makes your stomach churn with dread. 
“Y/n, he would never turn you down. Never .”
“You don’t know that.”
Soap scoffs incredulously. “C’mon! You’ve seen the way he looks at you! There’s nothing PG-13 about it.”
He pauses for a moment waiting for your retort but when you don't give him any, he draws conspiratorially close to your ear. “Although, I guess you don’t get to hear what he says about you when it’s just us boys…”
You perk up, turning toward him with a curious and clearly hopeful look on your face. Does he know something you don’t? Or is he messing with you? You can never tell with Soap.
“W-what does he say?”
Soap grins victoriously, undoubtedly pleased with himself for catching you failing, yet again, to hide your stupid little crush. 
"Gave my word that I would keep my mouth shut..."
“Ugh!", you push him away with a hard smack on his arm, "you’re insufferable.”
“Go talk to him and find out on your own. In the unlikely case that what you fear the most happens, any of us smart boys would gladly take his place in your heart, love ."
You shake your head with a scoff, eyes drifting aimlessly to the other side of the room. Turns out, Johnny was trying to get under your skin, as per usual, however you can’t help but mull his words over.
Perhaps he's got a point, perhaps it is time to let it all out in the open and face the consequences , whatever they might be. Johnny said that Simon has talked about you with the guys. It might be nothing, but what if he really has let his own feelings slip during a conversation, just like when it happened to you with Soap? Or perhaps, he had a real heart to heart talk with his mates… 
You have your doubts, but then again why would Johnny mention that he spoke of you? Why would he try so hard to reassure you that Simon would never reject you? Why would he stress out the fact that he often gets caught staring at you? Could your friend be doing this solely for a laugh? No, Johnny is not that kind of person. He cares about you and he clearly understands how much you care about Simon. He would not give you a friendly push merely to watch you fall face first to the ground. There must be some truth behind his jokes and teasing… but are you ready to risk it all to find out? Being rejected isn't the only fear that prevents you from acting on your feelings... 
"Whatever.” You sigh at last, propping yourself up by pushing your palms against the edge of the counter. “I'm here to unwind, not get caught up in my head as usual. So… now, I’m going to dance. And, just to be clear, I'm not doing it for you or Simon or anybody other than myself."
The pointed look you give him makes Soap raise his hands in defeat, however it doesn't wipe that little smirk off his face. The glass grazes his curled up lips as he looks at you with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah… You'll thank me later.”
His words get lost in the rising bustle of the pub; the cacophony of voices and the clatter of glasses gets louder just as the music fills your ears the more you get away from the bar. The soothing tune comes out of two huge amps set at either side of an empty stage, and floods over you, the sole person standing in front of it. You feel a bit self-conscious at first, sensing everyone's eyes on you but you try your best to ignore them. Letting your eyes flutter shut, you focus solely on the music, allowing yourself to be transported by the slow lulling rhythm. 
Soon, you're swaying your hips in time, your feet picking up their own pattern. You don't care about how you're moving, how it may look; all you care about is letting go, setting yourself free, feeling the music pass through you, and being completely in the moment. You dance worry-free, entirely surrendering control of your body to the enthralling and sinuous voice of the electric guitar. Few things are more freeing than dancing like nobody’s watching…
The song comes to an end almost too quickly and so does the enchantment that has seized you. When you open your eyes, chancing a look around you, you immediately meet Simon’s stare. He's still sitting at the bar but now he's turned toward you, back to the polished wood of the counter, one elbow resting on its edge. Clearly he has been watching you the whole time, enjoying the show , as Soap said. You feel a thrill run through you. Perhaps it's the alcohol kicking in, perhaps those feelings pushed deep inside you are finally emerging to the surface. Or is it just the adrenaline of the dancing still holding control over your body? 
Regardless of the answer, you find yourself walking toward him; the initial notes of a new song matching your sultry and unhurried steps. He firmly holds your gaze, but you notice the shifting in his seat as you approach him with renewed confidence.
You stop when you’re right in front of him, a coy smile plays on your lips while you hold out your hand.
"Care to join me?" 
His eyes flicker to your extended palm then wander over your face, as if he's looking for a cue that would tell him whether you're joking or being serious.
"You're outta your mind, princess ."
You raise your eyebrow at the word 'princess'. He knows you don’t like to be called like that but he doesn't seem to care. He keeps using that stupid term, especially when he wants to reprimand you, putting you in your place or just to tease you and get under your skin. But there is something in the way he said it just now, an endearing nuance in his tone that combined with his thick accent makes you melt like chocolate.
"Why? You seemed really interested only a minute ago."
You tease him with a challenging look on your face while you nonchalantly tug down the zip of your biker jacket. After the dance you're feeling a bit flushed, you need to let your skin breathe. No other reason for uncovering your cleavage, right? Definitely not to draw his attention to the deep neckline of your dress. Of course not, why would you do that? 
"I was only-" 
You interrupt him, arms folding across your chest, drawing his eyes even more to the curves of your body. " Enjoying the show , right."
"No.” He counters quickly, his voice loud and clear even over the music. Doesn’t he sound a little nervous? Or are you simply imagining it? 
“I was just… glad to see this carefree side of you. It's a good look on you."
You stare into each other’s eyes, your heart thumping hard in your chest. You didn’t expect to hear him say that.
"Well…”, you bite your lip as you try to ease your racing heart, arms falling back to your sides, “...dancing is very freeing. You should try it."
"I don't think it would work for me."
"Why don't we find out?" 
Shivering just a little, you take another step forward. His head slightly cranes up so that he can keep his piercing gaze on yours. You move your hand on his wrist, fingers wrapping gently around it before giving a little pull in your direction.
"C'mon…", you give him a teasing smile as you step back, head nodding back to the space behind you, “...let’s go.”
Despite your pulling, Simon doesn’t budge a single inch, but you see him hesitate. You keep tugging at his wrist, stepping backwards, even attempting to pout, until he silently relents and stands up, letting you drag him toward the stage at last. You didn't expect him to give up. You thought you'd have to put much more effort into it, or that you'd have to be the one giving up in the end. You're genuinely surprised by the turn of events but you won't let that dent your spirit now. You've just started playing with fire and you can't help but feel the thrill of it, the excitement lighting up inside of you. 
You stop when you reach the spot you previously made your own during your solo dance and turn around to face him. He stands there, tall and motionless, the hood of his sweatshirt still on; he looks so out of place on the dance floor, the sight makes you chuckle.
"Don't worry Si, nobody would dare judge you."
"I don't care about that."
"No?"
With a smile on your face, a gaze fixed on him, you start to sway your hips in sync again. His eyes immediately flicker down to take in your movements. He doesn’t seem to care about the fact that he looks like a freaking pole, standing so still in front of you, not moving even one muscle. His whole focus is on you and he seems to particularly enjoy being able to watch you from the best seat in the house.
“You could move your shoulders a little bit, you know? Or even just nod your head in time with the music.”
It’s so evident that he doesn’t know what to do with his body, where to even begin. You almost feel guilty of having dragged him there, of putting him on the spot.
“Here, follow my steps.”
You pick up a simple left-to-right footwork, following the slow but steady rhythm of the drums and encourage Ghost to mirror your motions with a nod and a gentle smile. He studies you, eyes observing your body attentively, picking up every little movement you make. 
He appears quite stiff as he attempts to follow along; his bulky body doesn't seem keen to make him look as graceful on the dancefloor as it does on the battlefield. But he's trying at least, and quickly getting the hang of it.
“That’s it! You’re not half bad, Si!” 
A soft chuckle escapes you as you bite your bottom lip. Seeing him dance - or try to - makes you oddly giddy, euphoric even. It's just such a rare and bizarre thing to see that you can't help but smile wide and enjoy the moment to the fullest.
Raising your arms in the air, you swing your hips and bend your knees as you lower your body to the ground, only to raise up again, twisting your curves like a snake. The thrill of his probing stare piercing you causes you to shudder; his eyes are unwavering, admiring your every move with utmost devotion. Having his undivided attention makes you feel alive, it makes you feel special and bold. 
You take a step closer and reach out to grab both of his hands in yours, your movements mellowing to fit his laid-back rocking. His calloused hands are surprisingly soft and warm as they wrap perfectly around yours, like matching pieces of a puzzle; his touch feels comforting, stable, safe. As you look up at him, eyes locking once again, you feel your heart pound rapidly in your chest. A small smile takes form on your lips to mask the turmoil rising within you.
“This feels… nice, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
Your heart soars upon hearing his answer, smile widening.
“I didn't know you could dance."
"I can't dance”, you correct him with a light chuckle, “I simply enjoy moving my body to the music."
"Never seen you do that before."
"Well, most of you guys don't even like listening to music, so I only get to do it when I'm on my own… which is a rare occurrence since apparently you babies can’t leave me alone for more than one minute."
You squeeze his hands playfully, a cheeky grin playing on your face. You notice his eyes crinkle lightly in response.
"You can use my office, if you want. There's enough room to… move around."
You let out a hearty laugh, head shaking softly. Your eyes lower to the floor for a moment, monitoring the way both your feet move perfectly in sync and at the same time picturing the silly image in your mind.
"You gonna sit at your desk, grumbling over your paperwork while, with music blasting in my ears, I dance like nobody’s watching right in front of you?" 
"Why not,” he says with a shrug.
His voice doesn’t betray his collected demeanour, but you know he’s smiling underneath that mask.
"Well, for one…”, you raise one eyebrow, giving him a knowing look, “I think it would get pretty distracting, rather quickly." You bring your joined hands to the level of your eyes and his chest, slowly interlacing your fingers with his. The muscles of his arms seem to tense for a moment.
"...Fair enough."
"Secondly…”, you trail off, eyes flickering up to meet his serious stare, voice losing a bit of its jovial nuance, “...people might start talking."
"Who cares."
His remark is curt and blunt, and it takes you a bit by surprise. He actually sounds as though he wouldn't care less if your coworkers were to start spreading rumours about you two possibly being... intimate. Or perhaps you're merely grasping at straws. After all, you're talking about dancing. Nothing more, right? 
"You’re telling me that you wouldn’t care what the others may think or say?" your tone is clearly hesitant this time, vulnerable even, eyes frantically searching his, "...watching us dance like this? Being this close?"
He keeps silent for a long moment, gaze boring into yours. His hands then pull on your wrists, tugging you closer to him. He swiftly wraps his arms around your waist, while your hands fly onto his chest for support as a surprised gasp escapes your mouth.
“How could I give a crap about them or what they think… when I have you here in my arms?”
His straightforward statement catches you off-guard, causing you to stumble upon your feet. It feels like the tables have turned. Your flirtatiousness made him take the bait and now you’re the one who doesn’t know how to act. Your boldness instantly vanishes, it’s as if you never had it in you in the first place. A tardy nervous chuckle slips out of you as you struggle to regain your synced rocking.
“You must’ve had a drink too many, huh Si?”
“Never been more lucid in my life.”
You stare deeply into his eyes, a wild-eyed look on your face, as he firmly holds your gaze. Tension soaks the air around you, you can sense it getting thicker and thicker. Suddenly, there's not a single soul in the pub but you two. Your eyes locked, bodies swaying gently together, lightly brushing against one another. Your heart thumps forcefully against your chest. 
[ 2:26 min .]
… 
I just want to get your head back, baby
Give you all the love I got, for sure
So, baby, if you've got that feeling
You know I wanna give you that midnight healing
Oh, I just want to make love to you all night long
… 
Perhaps it's merely your perception, but the music appears to get louder. The song’s lyrics are now distinctly clear; they echo in your head, tickling your mind like a subtle hint intended specifically for you.
Returning your attention to Simon, you detect a strange glint in his eyes. Did he receive the hint as well? The way his grasp on your waist tightens, palms roving over your sides and drawing you even closer to him, seems to confirm your supposition.
You both seem to lean forward, attracted like magnets, until your faces are merely inches away. The music deafens, slowly making its way into the background, providing the perfect mood for this special moment. Neither of you says a word, instead you let your eyes speak for themselves. Everything around you seems to blur into a negligible mist. Simon has you hypnotised, just as the music did, with the intensity of his gaze and the warmth of his touch. As one of his hands slides up to your neck, fingers grazing the soft hollow area just above your pulse point, a sharp shiver travels up your spine. 
The room spins around you. All of a sudden, your heart pounds hard against your chest and in your ears. You sway on your feet with fingers tugging on his jacket to keep your balance. His hands move quickly to your back, to support your body as you shift your weight on him for a moment before catching yourself. You feel hot, dizzy, and out of breath. 
"Y/n?" 
"J-just give me a moment, will you?" You say rather harshly, unable to keep the rising panic and tension out of your voice.
His concerned gaze is the last thing you see before you abruptly pull away and dash back towards the counter, mind buzzing, chest tightening. You notice Soap’s smile drop into a puzzling look as he watches you rush over but before he can ask you anything, you hear Gaz's hesitant voice coming from behind you. 
"What's going on?" 
You throw a quick glance over your shoulder, instantly meeting his perplexed look. Your actions seem to have drawn the attention of Price and Laswell, too; you find both of their gazes set on you. 
You struggle to take deep breaths, your eyes darting aimlessly from one friendly face to another while your hands clutch around the table edges, fingertips turning white. It takes all your efforts to not raise your gaze toward the dance floor and rest it on the man still standing exactly where you have just left him. 
"Nothing! It's all going great!" 
Your voice comes out higher pitched than normal but you try to mask it with the most convincing smile you can muster. 
You turn toward Johnny before you can witness the other's reactions or give them time to question your words. Your friend pierces you with a questioning look that doesn't leave room for lies. 
"I-I think I'm gonna pass out."
He immediately reaches out to place a comforting hand on your arm as he slides his freshly refilled glass towards you.
"You ok? What happened?" 
Your hand shakes as you grab the drink. You rub it to your forehead, cheeks, and neck before moving it to your lips. The cool sensation of the glass against your feverish skin seems to ease your panic, even if only a little. You focus completely on the cold liquid scorching down your throat as you take a long sip. 
You gasp, pulling from the rim of the glass. "Nothing. It's just-" you take another deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut,"...it felt all-too real, all-too quickly, I guess. I'm not entirely sure. I panicked."
"Y/n," he coos softly, gently squeezing your arm, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to-" 
"But that's the point! I want it! We were so close, I mean… you saw it! If it wasn't for the mask, I’m pretty sure he would’ve leaned in for a kiss. I-I felt my heart was about to burst!” The words fall out of your mouth in a nervous rambling. “I wanted to close the distance so bad… that I fucking ran away." A deprecating chuckle escapes you, eyes rolling in disbelief. "I'm so fucking stupid!" 
Johnny squeezes your shoulder again, offering you a genuine smile.
"You are not stupid, y/n... Well, maybe just a little bit." He grins in response to your not-so-convincing glare. "Could a little more privacy help you feel better? You know there are rooms upstairs, you could always go there if you want to..."
You watch as his hand disappears inside his jacket and reappears a moment later, holding a small silver key between his fingers. He holds it out to you and you take it from him mindlessly.
Soap laughs as he detects the mute query in your stunned expression.
"I took it earlier thinking I might get lucky and use it for myself, but it looks like I’m not the lucky one tonight…"
Your gaze darts from your friend's face to the key, then back to him. Your heart starts racing again as the true meaning that small metallic object holds hits you like an unforeseen gunshot to the chest. You let out a loud groan, your hands flying to your face to hide your grimace.
"What is it now?"
"Johnny...", his name falls out of your lips in a sing-songy cry, barely audible above the music and chatter. Lips quivering both in embarrassment and fear for the confession you’re about to make. With a whisper, you share, "I've never been with anyone before... I've never even kissed anyone." You chance a look at your friend through your fingers. "What if I make a fool out of myself in front of Simon? Hell, who am I kidding? I-I already have!"
The astonished expression on Soap's face only aggravates your growing anxiety.
"Creeping Jesus! Y/n… I thought you… uhm, it’s okay-," he awkwardly shifts in his seat, his mouth opening and shutting without emitting a single sound, at least not one that you can hear. His gaze abruptly darts to the side, focusing on something far over your shoulder before moving back to rest on you with a barely concealed alarm. "Ok, take a deep breath, he's coming over."
You only have time to curse under your breath and pull your hands away from your face before you feel a presence behind you that makes every hair on your body stand on end.
When you hear your name being called, you turn warily to face the man standing by your side, stomach twisting as you meet his inquisitive stare. You believe you can also see a flicker of hurt in his eyes, too. 
"Simon, I'm… I'm-"
"She needed some fuel, L.T.!" Soap rushes to your aid, grinning up at Ghost and smacking him on the arm - a little too hard. "She's all good now… right, y/n?" 
He gives you a quizzical look, as if he's asking whether you're ready to handle the situation on your own or if you need more time; at least, that's what you believe he’s trying to convey.
You respond with a feeble nod before your gaze shifts to Simon. You offer him your glass. "A sip?"
He stares at you intently, seemingly studying your face, his expression now unreadable. 
"No."
"A-alright, more for me..." you fake a smile and then guzzle the drink all in one go. You slam the empty glass on the counter as you suck air through your teeth, grimacing at the piercing sensation of the scorching liquor spreading inside your system. Your gaze is drawn to Soap's, and you give him a somewhat confident smile, which he returns with a little wink.
Your hand then moves on its own accord, finding Ghost's large palm and interlacing your fingers with his; the contact sends a chill up your spine. When you look up at him, a ghost of a smile appears on your lips. You're not sure what you're doing or what's going to happen, but you try not to second-guess yourself too much and risk screwing up for the second time in a row.
Taking a step back, away from the counter, you beckon him to follow you.
"Come with me…"
He does not resist your pull. He does not hesitate for even one second. He trails behind you as you lead him up the stairs and to the second floor. 
Neither of you dare utter a single word as you walk through the corridor and come to a door that matches the number on the key Soap gave you. You don't dare glance at him as you walk in, taking in the dim tavern-like atmosphere of the tiny bedroom. Your gaze is immediately drawn to the king size bed in the centre, which takes up most of the space. Your mouth goes dry. You wonder what Simon might be thinking, if the same thoughts that course through your mind are pestering him as well. 
The sound of the door being closed startles you and makes you whirl around. Your gaze immediately captures his, and you gulp under his piercing stare.
With slow heavy steps that mismatch your thundering heartbeat, he walks over to you, stopping only when he’s towering right over you, standing tall in all his imposing height. You keep your gaze levelled in front of you, unable to meet his eyes, however his fingers curl under your chin and nudge your head up, forcing you to face him. 
" Princess… " he murmurs in a low breathy tone, his voice tinged with something akin to irritation, “why are you playing little games with me?”
Your stomach flips again. Of course he’d assume you’ve been messing with him, leading him on; it’s only fair considering the odd behaviour you’ve had all night. And probably not just tonight. 
“I’m not, trust me…”
He pauses for a brief moment, his keen eyes studying your face, possibly looking for proof of your sincerity.
"You brought me here. Why ?" 
"I-I don't know…"
"You don't know?" 
You mentally reprimand yourself for your dumb answer and shake your head in an attempt to dissipate the haze that has settled over your mind.
"I mean, I know why, but-" you try to swallow but your throat is dry. The intensity of his dark eyes boring into yours causes you to stutter, "f-fuck Si, you make me so nervous I can't even think straight!"
Your voice comes out louder than intended and soaked with frustration. Your hand moves on his wrist, tugging at it to pry yourself free from his grasp, but his hold on you does not relent.
"You were dancing for all the pub to see until a minute ago, and I make you nervous?" 
"Yes! Of course! I don't give a damn about those strangers! Why should I? Besides that's not the point! You make me nervous because you are... you are-" 
You shake your head again as you let out a shuddering breath, your gaze averted from his. You know you can't really back down now. You have to tell him the truth but it's damn hard to find the right words to express exactly how you feel. And more than that, to finally find the courage to say them.
You feel like your heart is on the verge of bursting out of your chest.
"You’re someone I really care about, Simon."
His fingers squeeze your chin, urging you to look up, and when you do you notice that his eyes have softened. 
“That made you panic?”
You give him a lopsided smile, but a short-lived one, for your anxieties come tumbling back, slithering into your mind and compelling you to address them, once and for all.
"T-There's something else..."
You want to tell him that you've never been with a man before, that you've never even had your first kiss yet, and that the thought of him, the only man you’ve ever loved, desired , possibly being your first, makes you incredibly nervous and self-conscious. You really want to tell him everything and free yourself of this burden but your voice gets stuck in your throat and you gape up at him, feeling your stomach churn.
Simon waits patiently for you to speak up, his fingers still holding your chin. The soft look he offers you seems to ease your tension a little. 
"I have…”, you draw a sharp breath, "...no experience in this field , if you catch my drift...”. You mutter those few words in a small voice as your face twists into a grimace. 
Your confession hangs in the air for what feels like eternity, your heart seems to have stopped beating altogether. 
"I know."
“Wha-?!”
You are completely thrown off by his matter-of-fact tone.
"H-how? Why-" you stutter, mouth gaping, your eyes wide. How could he know? You've never told anybody, not until a few minutes ago. But he couldn't have heard you, could he? That would be impossible. 
"Is it really so fucking obvious?" 
"No.” 
In stark contrast to yours, his voice sounds cool and collected. His fingers graze your skin as they move up from your chin to your cheek. "I figured you had no idea how this worked when suddenly you’re lacking your usual confidence and turning into a bloody school-girl. It threw me off at first. I thought you didn’t want this…”
" Hell…”, your head slowly shakes in disbelief, eyes darting to the side. 
Suddenly you don’t know if you should feel relieved, ashamed or sorry for it all. Your own body chooses for you, opting for an odd mix of the three; shoulders slumping, mind buzzing, you stare into space while his words sink in. 
So he's been into you the whole time but your mixed signals, caused by your stupid anxieties, have made it look like you were not into him? Or that you were just playing with him? Seriously? What kind of shitty B-rated rom com is this? 
" So , you've never been held by a man.” Simon’s calm voice draws you back to the moment, his fingers taking hold of your chin once again. “ Blimey . Is that what makes you so nervous?" 
"Is it really not a problem for you?" you ask out of genuine curiosity, brows furrowing as your eyes meet his.
Simon’s scoff almost turns into a hearty laugh as he holds your gaze, eyes crinkling.
"No man has ever put their filthy hands on you and I should be - what? Sad? Disappointed? For God's sake, princess..."
He shakes his head, fingertips taking better hold of your jaw as he leans down.
“You and your worries…” His tone is almost scolding but playfully so, eyes studying every feature of your face. “Stop thinking so much, you numpty . It’s not good for you.”
“Tell me something I don’t know…”, you let out a long shuddering breath, in an attempt to let go of the lingering worry still tightening your throat, "I just… don't want to fuck this up, Si. You mean too much to me..."
He hums softly. 
Silence engulfs you. A silence tinged with renewed tension. Not the type of tension that fuels your anxieties but the kind that makes you warm inside. Soft distant notes coming from downstairs fill the room, washing over you in a soothing yet electric wave, reminding you of the dance you shared, of how close you were and the desire that was rising, burning hot, inside of you. 
Just like a magnet the attraction between you and Simon grows. 
His free hand moves on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him and just like before, out of instinct, your hands land on his chest. He holds your chin high, his gaze piercing straight to your heart.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" 
You bite your lip, surprised by his forwardness, a nervous giggle shaking through you. "What kind of question is that-"
"Do you want me to kiss you, princess?" 
He asks a second time with a more serious tone that makes your nervous giddiness fade. Looking deep into his eyes, you take a long breath to ease your racing heart, or at least attempt to.
"Y-yeah, I want you to kiss me."
His hand moves over yours resting on his chest, and guides it up to his neck. 
"Pull up my mask, uncover my mouth. Only my mouth."
You stop breathing altogether, heart jumping in your throat. 
"Y-You want me to do it?" 
"Aye."
Touching his mask, pulling it up to uncover his face feels like such an intimate gesture… Your eyes roam reverently over his newly uncovered skin as your fingers gently peel up the fabric of his balaclava, until his mouth is completely exposed to your sight and you can let your adoring gaze truly linger for the first time. You’ve caught glimpses of his face before, his chin looking vaguely familiar for the few times you’ve seen Simon drink or eat in front of you and the team. But that’s all it has ever been: glimpses. You’ve never been allowed to study his clean-shaved chin and alluring mouth like you are now, from so up close.
"You have pretty lips…"
Your comment slips out of your mouth before your mind could register it and you grimace out of embarrassment. "Uh, sorry, that was-" 
Words die on your tongue as soon as you feel his hand firmly squeeze your jaw. Your eyes immediately dart to his, which bore into yours. Slowly - breathtakingly slow, he draws closer until his lips hover inches away from yours and you can feel his hot breath on your skin. You swallow dry. In a heartbeat he closes the distance, kissing you gently, softly but with a clear, barely-withheld passion. 
You respond to the kiss after a moment of stun. The contact of his lips on yours feels like a soft dream at first, one that seizes your mind in a haze and makes you walk on cloud nine, and then grows in force, as if Simon can't contain his desire any longer.
Your lips part and his tongue slips into your hot mouth, eager to explore this new territory. You moan in the kiss and meet him in a twisting dance of control. 
Every move comes surprisingly natural to you, as if you’ve done this a million times before.
His hand travels down from your back to your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh with a possessive squeeze, then slips even lower to lift your short black dress at its edges and tug it upward just enough to expose the back of your thighs. He doesn't waste time when moving his hand onto that newly uncovered area, kneading the tight flesh there as he bends forward, causing you to arch your back and latch your hands around his neck. Bodies tucking closer. 
You take a deep breath as you slightly pull away, lips still grazing his, your hot breaths merging together. 
All the words you thought would play out in your head in such an important moment are now nowhere to be found. Instead, it’s all just a feeling of rightness between you and him. None of your fantasies could have ever prepared you for a feeling so… intoxicated. 
"Simon…", you usher in a barely audible whisper, slipping your hand under his jacket and feeling his muscles tense under your wandering touch. His lust clouded eyes search yours, his chest heaving hard, hands pressing against you and relenting a second later, as if he’s trying to restrain himself. 
"...I want you to be my first."
A guttural sound comes out of his mouth at your words, his fingers spread again on your ass cheek, squeezing it hard and causing you to whimper. His gaze seems to get darker and he draws closer once more, teeth grazing your bottom lip, nibbling at it. 
"Are you sure?" 
"Positive."
And just like that, as if a barrier has been finally lifted, his lips crush onto yours once more but harder, hungrier than the first time. In one swift motion he yanks the biker jacket off your shoulders and tosses it on the floor. You instantly match his eagerness, returning the favour; his own windbreaker dropping at your feet. 
Before your mind can register what’s happening, you find yourself back against the wall, your shoulder blades hitting the hard surface in an audible thud. You feel your guts twist as heat starts to pool in your belly. 
Your lips are still connected, unwilling to separate. His hands dive on your hips, the thin fabric of your flared dress creases under his ravenous groping. One hand slides down, curling up the hem and slipping underneath, meeting the side of your bare upper thigh. His palm closes around it, firmly, possessively as he lifts your leg up to his hip; you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to find a red mark on your skin later, nor would you be displeased. You moan in his mouth in response and let your own hands wander on his body, blindly scanning the muscles of his torso from above his sweatshirt, only to slide lower and lower, until you find its edges and curl them up. Your fingers sneak under the fabric, meeting the smooth skin of his abdomen; his muscles tense up at the teasing contact. Your palms climb up his abs, his pecks, committing the tactile sensation of every inch of his taut torso to memory. 
As you both pull away, gasping for air, you let your eyes fall to where your hands disappear under his clothes; you want to look at him, feast your hungry eyes on his naked body but before you can do it yourself, Simon grabs the hem of his sweatshirt and pulls it off his head, adding it to the rest of your discarded clothes. However, he doesn’t give you time to take his bare chest in, for he grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up like you weigh nothing at all, walks you over to the bed and drops you on the mattress. 
Only at this moment are you allowed to let your eyes wander over the muscles of his torso, probably the only part of his body you've already had the pleasure of seeing in the past, although mostly in not so pleasant times, when he needed to be patched up. This time it's totally different. Your hungry gaze devours every inch of him, glinting in twisted pleasure when it meets the scars that you remember having tended to yourself. 
You're too eager to touch him again to keep laying there waiting. Quickly throwing your boots off the side of the bed, you crawl on your knees toward him, hands latching on the inseam of his trousers to unzip them. In the meantime he yanks his own boots off his feet and out of the way, with eyes glued to yours. 
When you're done with his zip, before you can tug his jeans down, he pushes you back on the mattress and joins you on the bed, settling himself on top of your body, knees resting at either side of your legs. 
“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.”
The way his raspy voice breaks a little as he ushers his confession makes your stomach twist.
“Do w-what, exactly?”
His hands move on your collarbone, peeling the thin straps of your dress and your bra off your shoulders. You allow him to tug them down your chest as you look up at him with nothing but unyielding passion. His eyes wander over your freshly uncovered breasts and you can see his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, jaw setting hard. 
He takes a moment to answer, staring down at you, perhaps struggling to give voice to something that has been swirling against the recesses of his mind for quite some time. 
“Push you on a bed, pin your body under mine and… taste you.”
A sharp shiver runs up your spine at his words, heart skipping a beat. 
One of his palms closes around your breast, firmly squeezing the soft flesh, while the other lifts the skirt of your dress up to your stomach. Without missing a beat he bends down beneath your thighs and presses his mouth against your panties, just above your lower belly. 
“Oh!”
Your hips buck up on their own at the sudden stomach-churning contact. His free hand moves to rest on your upper thigh, pressing your body back against the mattress. 
"This is uncharted territory, innit?"
"I-It is, Lieutenant…", you match his playful tone even though your voice is but a mere whisper, struggling to get out in between your ragged breaths, "...nobody has yet claimed that path..."
You hear him hum in appreciation and you feel his voice too, vibrating against your core.
"Don't mind if I do."
You take a sharp breath as you feel his lips press against you again, only lower this time, teasing your most sensitive part. The thin fabric of your underwear does nothing to muffle the intense touch and yet the obstacle irritates you, you want it out of the way and Simon seems to share your feelings. Both his hands move on your hips, grabbing the hem of your panties and sliding them down and off your legs. A thrill curses through your whole body at the sight of your undies being tucked inside the back pocket of his jeans. Simon’s eyes crinkle lightly as they watch your reaction, lips curving into a smirk.
You don’t really care about them now, whether he’s planning on returning them or making you walk out of here butt naked. All your attention is drawn to the cool breath blowing against your delicate skin, turning hot only a second later as Simon leans closer, until you feel his lips meet your heat and cause you to whimper. The cloth of his mask grazing against your folds only adds to the stimulating touch.
His hot tongue swipes up your core once, twice, with hands spreading you wider for him to reach every inch of you. Another slow stripe from your entrance up to your clitoris and your body shakes in ecstasy. He latches his lips to you and starts to suck hard, swirling his tongue around your nub and dragging it up and down along your wetness. 
He said it. He wanted to taste you. And that is exactly what he’s doing, with no hesitation whatsoever, nor waste of time. You’re already a quivering mess beneath him, pathetic whines falling from your parted lips, hands closing in fists as fingers dig into the sheets. 
“F-Fuck, Simon…”
You feel his soft chuckle against you; it drives you mad. 
He shifts from his position, lips pulling away as he grabs the back of your thighs to tug you closer and pin your spread legs to your stomach. You chance a look at him through your heavy lidded eyes. His lips and chin are wet with your juices, the sight ignites a fire inside you that you’ve never felt before. The way you’re spread for him, your privateness so thoroughly exposed for the first time in your life… you thought that you’d be embarrassed, that you’d be awfully shy to show yourself like this, especially to him. You do sense a faint tightness in your stomach and a warmth spreading in your face, yet there’s another feeling prevailing over the rest. A feeling that surges from Simon himself; the way he leans back down, hands travelling up your body to grab your breasts, the way he’s devouring you like a starved man, the way he’s taking care of you, making sure to pleasure you, to make you feel good… It allows no room for awkwardness or discomfort, only a warm pervasive and soothing feeling of pure care and devotion to wash over you and envelope you whole. 
The lewd sound of his mouth working against you has long prevailed over the music and it only seems to grow in tone the more the tightening of the heat in your belly grows in intensity. You feel it coming, the high is close. Your hands fly toward him, landing on his head. You grab his mask, tug at it, feeling it slip from its place, then you freeze abruptly, as soon as you realise what you’re doing. You look down again, instantly meeting Simon’s hard stare. A strange glint passes over his eyes; he seems to ponder something for a moment then come to a final decision. In a few dismissive moves, he pulls away from you, grabs the dark fabric curled under his nose and yanks it off his head, throwing it carelessly on the floor. 
Your heart is sent into a frenzy. It no longer knows what to do; whether it should keep thundering in your heart for the intense and building pleasure or stopping altogether for the shock of what you have just witnessed. Your wide eyes wander toward him, curious and hesitant at the same time but they only catch a glimpse of his bare face before he disappears between your legs once again, latching his mouth on you even more greedily than before, possibly feeling more free in his movements without the mask impediment. You want to watch him, stare at him as he drives you to heaven but your head falls back on the mattress, eyes squeezing shut and back arching sharply as a wave of skin-crawling chills sets your entire body aflame. It is nothing like the orgasms you’ve had before, when you touch yourself. This is a new feeling; it’s intense, it goes to your head, it makes you dizzy and wordless. It makes you feel loved. 
Simon keeps moving against you, tongue curling at your entrance, gathering up the fruits of his hard work. His hands still pinning your thighs close to your stomach, fingers digging in your soft flesh as he eases your shakes. 
Your mind is still struggling to come out of the haze when your hand blindly travels down in search of him. Fingers tug at his short locks of hair, urging him to come up to meet you. He lingers a moment longer to press a soft kiss on your swollen bundle of nerves, then on your lower belly and between your breasts as he makes his ascent. Finally he faces you, eyes meeting again. 
If your body wasn't already heavily overwhelmed, the sight of his beautiful sharp features would send all your senses into overdrive. 
He looks at you so openly, dark eyes twinkling with adoration and what you can only read as vulnerability, that you find yourself unsure of how to act. 
Would this special moment turn awkward if you were to make a comment on his looks? You wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Removing his mask must take such an effort… you don’t want to risk making this more stressful for him. You opt for keeping your comments to yourself, at least for now. 
Instead, you let your hand rest on his face, caressing his skin, softly, slowly, as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world and you have to handle it with utmost care. You hope that by doing this you can show him and reassure him that everything is ok, nothing has changed, surely not for the worse. That you deeply appreciate the fact that he decided to let his guards down, to be vulnerable with you. That’s what you try to convey with your adoring gaze and your tender touch, and you sincerely hope it reaches him.
When you feel him lean into your touch, a content smile spreads on your face and you instinctively tilt your head up, capturing his damp lips in a passionate kiss that instantly rekindles the desire inside of you. Simon matches your eagerness, hands travelling down your body to caress, grab, squeeze, grope and tease anything he finds on his path. You do the same, mapping his muscular torso, skimming your fingers down to his navel. 
For a moment, only a moment, you hesitate to go lower as you get caught up in your head, worries threatening to hold you back again, but the way he interrupts the contact of your lips to place a trail of sloppy kisses down the sensitive skin of your neck makes your worries fade again and you slip your hand inside his unzipped jeans. You relish in hearing the guttural sound that rewards your action; it compels you to rub your hand over his boxers with more confidence, feeling his bulge with a light squeeze.
Simon hastily brings his hand to his waistband and tugs it down, his boxers receive the same treatment. Your hand now closes around his erection, giving it a few tentative strokes. He draws a sharp breath.
“ Bloody hell , princess…”
He mutters in the crook of your neck and you shiver. His reaction encourages you to increase the vigour of your movements.
“Is this ok?”
He hums softly, hips starting to buck in sync with your hand. He lets you fondle him, drag your fingers on the tip wet with precum, make him moan in pleasure as your hold around his girth tightens… then he pulls away, grabs your hand and brings it to his lips for a soft peck on its back.
You follow his movements, eyes drawn to his lips then flickering down to his cock. By the touch you assumed it was pretty big and the sight only confirms your thoughts but it shocks you anyway.
You hear him huff a laugh through his nose.
“Do you think you can take me, mh?”
Your eyes dart back to his face, meeting his amused look.
“I don’t know…”, you bite your lips, the angles of your mouth curling up in a playful smirk, “but I sure as hell ain’t gonna back down from a challenge.”
Your heart soars with joy seeing his face crack into a pleasantly surprised expression, a chuckle coming out of his mouth.
“Good girl.”
He pins you with his mesmerising gaze, bending down on you again. He leans on the side, toward the bedside table. You crane your neck to watch. His hand slips into a black smoking-bowl and comes back with a small metallic sachet. Protection. Of course. This place is well-equipped. Your curious eyes keep following his movements as he takes the condom and secures it onto his throbbing erection. You swallow as his gaze moves back on your face, your stomach starts churning again. He seems to sense your nervousness and leans down, hand grabbing your jaw, eyes piercing right into yours.
“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll be gentle.”
You nod with a smile, then take a deep breath.
“It’s okay. I trust you, Si.”
He leans in for a quick soft kiss, hand guiding his erection between your legs, tip rubbing against your slit to coat it in your wetness. Your whole body tingles in anticipation. 
“Stop me anytime if you need to.”
He waits for your confirmation before he slides in, bit by bit, easing you to the intrusion. An instant groan comes out of his mouth.
“Oh, you’re so fucking tight!”
Your brows furrow, your jaw sets, soft cries come out of you as he settles inside your walls but you don’t stop him. He kisses your neck, right on the spot he learned that makes you quiver the most, your hands clutched at his sides. It doesn’t take long for the nagging feeling to fade and for you to get accustomed to the sensation as your core stretches to welcome him fully.
Simon feels your body relax and starts to push into you, slowly, carefully, letting out pleased grunts of his own. His hands wrap around the back of your thighs and lift them up to his waist. You latch your legs around his body, a maneuver that allows him to bury his cock deeper inside you and that causes a loud moan to erupt from you.
“G-God… That’s…”
His lips trail back from your neck to your jaw, teasingly brushing your skin, until they hover on your open mouth; his eyes take in your contorting features with a pleased smile. 
He rocks at a steady pace against you while his hands roam your body, travel up your hips, caress your breasts, skim along the shape of your arms, stopping only to let his fingers interlace with yours, and pin your hands down to the mattress, at either side of your head.
You feel your lucidity slip from you completely. No coherent words come out of you, only a nonsensical mumbling. The way he’s thrusting inside of you, so deep and precise, hitting that perfect spot at each push, it takes every fiber in your being not to scream out loud and make the whole pub know how Simon’s fucking you sensless. 
You can only focus on how you’re connected to him, how he is filling you up so beautifully, how your bodies move wonderfully together; it’s almost like a dance, a primal animalistic dance that belongs to you two only. You even have the music to accompany your dance moves, a soft sensual melody that perfectly complements your passion-imbued union of trembling bodies.
So this is how it feels to have sex? This is how it feels to be wholly consumed by lust and desire? Or could this overwhelming sensation simply be Simon’s doing? To have him make love to you?
“Y/n…”
It takes a lot of effort for you to hum back in response.
Simon’s lips crush clumsily against yours as his movements become frantic and sloppier. He must be close to reaching the high. And so are you. Your eyelids are heavy, your sight slightly blurred and unfocused.
“Si, I think I’m about to-”
He pulls away from your lips, spine straightening, piercing eyes landing on your face as one of his hands slips from yours and travels along your body, down toward your core. He deliberately rubs your slit with his palm before he picks up a hectic waving motion to stroke your swollen nub, immediately triggering a shock wave of shivers to spiral up your back. Your head spins at the additional stimuli. Your eyes squeeze shut, cries fall out of your mouth as you contort in pleasure.
You feel his other hand grab your jaw and shake it lightly, demanding your attention.
“Eyes on me, beautiful.”
You look up at him with glazed eyes, dizzy and yearning for your release. With every stroke and every thrust you lose yourself more and more into the bliss.
His hand settles on your neck, closing around your throat, not hard enough to delay your breathing but providing you with such a thrilling and wicked pressure that makes you salivate and that instantly sends heat flaring in your belly, causing your need to build faster and even more intense.
Panting hard, your hands now free, you grip onto Simon’s strong arms while you progressively lose focus on every way he’s indulging your desire, instead centring your heightened senses on the feelings he’s awakening. The last thread of restraint then finally snaps and you reach the peak, core lightening with an answering flame that you’ve never felt before. You lose yourself in the waves of pleasure overtaking you, barely taking notice of Simon’s rutting inside you once, twice, three more times before his body goes still against you and a deep groan erupts from him. Both of you anchor the other’s body, pressing together, relishing in the other’s shudders and panting breaths. You’re so flush against him that you can feel his heart, challenging your own in a speed race and then gradually slowing down.
Chest heaving, you cradle the back of his head, letting your fingers thread between the roots of his hair, while he blows his hot breath on the crook of your neck as you both ease down from your highs. The warmth of his body is comforting against yours, you never want him to let go. The rousing feeling of his cock still buried inside you, resting between your fluttering walls is one you could easily get used to. It almost takes your breath away when Simon slides out of you, leaving you bare.
His damp lips press against your boiling skin, trailing up your jaw. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, committing this idyllic moment to memory. 
His thumb gently strokes your chin, fingers resting upon your cheek. When you open your eyes, he's already looking at you with the loveliest smile you've ever seen graze his face. You return it with one of your own.
"Si..." you pause, staring deep into his eyes. There's so much you want to say, a multitude of emotions running wild and untamed inside of you that needs to be addressed and yet you struggle to find the right words to tell him how you feel.
The realisation of what has just happened downs on you. You've spent years fantasising about this moment, fearing the real thing wouldn't even come close to your idealised perfect first time. Wondering when, where, with whom you would live through this experience. You're euphoric to admit to yourself that the real thing has surpassed the fantasy by a landslide. 
"I'm... glad it was you."
It sounds silly when you say it. You could have chosen from a billion other thoughts you had swirling in your head, yet this one drowned out the rest. But as silly as it may sound, it’s the truth: you’re beyond thrilled he was your first. There’s no other man in your life that you trust, respect, and love as much as him with whom you could share such intimacy. 
You see the angle of his lips curl up to one side, the pad of his thumb softly brushing the outline of your bottom lip. 
" I'm glad it was me ."
Your face cracks as you erupt in a giggle. With your palm against his cheek, you gently push him away. "Simon..."
He smiles down at you, his eyes crinkling as he leans down again to kiss the crown of your head before drawing all the way back and getting off the bed. 
Your gaze follows him as he tosses the used condom into the trash can and pulls up his underwear and jeans. As he picks up the rest of his clothes from the floor and gets dressed again, your devoted gaze glides up and down his body, a permanent smile engraved to your lips. You feel so lucky to be able to witness such a sight… You still have a hard time believing your eyes.
“Now, who’s enjoying the show ?”
His amused glance meets yours, and you give him a sheepish smile, followed by a shrug.
"I'm just taking it all in..."
"Oh, you've already taken it all in , princess."
You let out a shocked scoff, your mouth wide open. You dismissively wave your hand in front of your face and shake your head, as you feel a crawl of heat flooding to your cheeks. 
"Oh, shut up..."
You love his sense of humour. It’s one of the qualities you like the most about him. And now that you’re… well, even closer to him, the sarcasm is only bound to get more pungent. Not that you’d complain about it.
His low chuckle fills your ears as you distract yourself by adjusting your bra and dress, then taking a seat on the side of the bed to slip your boots back on. You notice a heap of black and white fabric on the floor at your feet and bend down to pick it up. It's his balaclava.
The thought doesn’t even have time to fully form in your mind that you’re already pulling the mask over your head. Unfortunately there’s no mirror in the room to check your reflection, to see how the skull fits you but the cloth feels surprisingly nice against your skin and… you can smell his scent.
The sudden lack of rustling from behind you causes you to spin around and you find Simon staring at you, holding your jacket. He walks toward you, handing you the garment, reaching then for your face to adjust the fabric on your nose and on your chin. He stops to give you an appraising look.
"It looks better on me."
You chuckle, smacking him playfully on the chest. “Oh, c’mon… what if I want to wear one, too?”
"And hide your beautiful face? Negative.”
“Well, then…”, you pin him with a challenging look, palms pressing hard against your cheeks, securing the mask on your head. “I won’t let you hide your beautiful face, either.”
You see him softly shake his head as he huffs a chuckle through his nose. After a moment, he reaches for his back pocket and retrieves your undies, waving them high above your head. 
“What? You’ll put those on your head instead?”
You try to suppress the laugh by biting on your lips but it erupts out of you anyway, like a river in flood. The pointed look he gives you only makes it worse.
“Alright, alright…”
Still snickering, you pull on the fabric and peel it off your head, holding it out to him. 
He takes the mask from you but doesn’t let go of your undies. He puts them back in his pocket as casually as he took them out.
You scoff, tilting your head to the side. "Really?" 
“I’m keeping them, as a memento.”
You stare at him, appraising his solemn expression. If he wants them then you’ll let him have them - the fabric is ruined anyway. They're not even your favourite pair, thankfully.
“First and last time you steal something from me, Si!”
“Can’t make promises, princess.” 
Your chest swells as you try to read between the lines. It's inevitable. You can't help but wonder if he means to tell you something else. Will there be a next time, or multiple next times? Does he plan on stealing something else? Like, your heart? To be honest, he's already halfway there, but he doesn't need to know that. At least not yet. 
You keep on looking into each other's eyes for a bit longer. You think you can detect the profound fondness behind his look. Your lips curl up in a shy smile.
“Ehm… I believe we kept the guys waiting long enough." you say, breaking the silence. "We should get back downstairs."
He gives you a curt nod but instead of moving away, he draws closer to you. Taking your chin between his fingers, he leans down and angles your head to brush one more kiss against your lips. The contact is strikingly gentle and it takes your breath away. It’s a kiss infused with unspoken words of devotion, promises, feelings which are too strong to be shared so early on but that are already there, growing, blossoming. Both your hearts are gardens in bloom. 
He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours for a lingering moment before taking a step back and disguising his face once again. 
The action saddens you but at the same time it fills your chest with pride; you're the only one who has been blessed to bask in the beauty of his seldom-seen bare face and no one else will receive such special treatment. Not today. Hopefully never. Is it selfish of you to wish that? Perhaps, but you don't care. Not when images of your lovemaking are still so fresh in your mind. Not when you can still feel the worshipping touch of his hands and tongue on your body. Certainly not when the cool, humid air of the room hits the wetness of your exposed core beneath the dress. 
You exchange a knowing look before moving towards the door and walking down the stairs together. That soothing tune, now linked with poignant core memories, floods in your ears once again, growing louder as you return to the main area and towards the bar. Your team is still at the counter, exactly where you left them... how long ago? You have no idea how much time has passed. You were too engrossed in your passion to pay attention to the outside world and its trivialities.
Johnny glances behind his shoulder just as you and Simon make a beeline toward the group. You can see his lips moving; he must be saying something to the others because they all crane their heads to look at you before returning to their drinks. Soap is the only one who whirls around, bivouacing on his seat and all over the counter like a fucking braggart as he meets your eyes and winks at you. 
Oh, he'll take yours and Simon's hookup as a personal victory, and he'll brag about it; you already know it. But you're far too happy right now to be bothered by it. Let him gloat. You're the one who got the reward, anyway. 
When you eventually make it to the bar, no one acknowledges your arrival. Nobody says anything about your absence or the dance prior to that. Their silence only serves to emphasise that they are all aware of what happened. The furtive glances they cast your way, some more mischievous than others, serve as plain confirmation. 
"Now that we're all here, I suppose we can head out." 
The captain's voice calls out to everyone as he stands up from the barstool. "Unless the two lovebirds fancy one last drink?" 
You try to ignore the appellation he used and the way your stomach flipped in response. You raise one hand and shake your head, avoiding his eyes as well as the urge to glance up at Simon. "I'm good."
A beat.
"Alright then. Off we go."
On cue, everyone gets off their seats, some knocking back their glasses, others stretching their legs. You take advantage of the shuffle to walk over to Johnny and hold out the key to him. He takes it back without a word but the sly smile playing on his face is hard to miss. You hope at least he has the decency to hold off of grilling you for deets until you’re back at the HQ.
You seem to catch a movement in your peripheral vision: Price giving Simon a firm pat on the shoulder? You’re tempted to turn your head to take a better look when a loud scoff interrupts you and draws your attention back to your best mate.
"Bloody hell, y/n! You and L.T. are not joking around!" 
Your brows furrow upon hearing his remark and when you follow the trajectory of his stunned look, your eyes widen as they meet the cloth of your undies poking out of his back pocket. You spring into action right away, grasping the exposed edge to yank it farther inside his jeans. Simon’s own hand reaches behind him to wrap around yours, fingers interlacing, as he maintains his focus on Price in front of him. Your chest swells at the gesture, heat rising in your cheeks,  but you manage to turn around and zap Johnny with a fierce glare anyway.
He makes a show of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. However, the grin he flashes you is so contagious that you find yourself returning one of your own.
It appears like you're in for a ride full of taunts, jokes, knowing looks and funny name-calling. Your mates will give you two no rest… but who gives a shit about it? Simon said it first. Why should you care? You'll take this and much worse if it means getting the chance to explore your feelings with the man of your dreams and spending many more nights out - or inside his spacious office - dancing together.
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cieloclercs · 8 months
Text
what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc
PART: 1/?
summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more
warnings. swearing, reader and charles are oblivious idiots but they’re cute so it’s ok, ending is annoyingly abrupt (sorry)
pairings. charles leclerc x artsy!reader
face claim. tara michelle
author’s note: so this is a multi-part social media fic inspired by this ask that i’ve been working on for a while. as always, all media and pictures used in this belongs to the original creators. hope you guys enjoy! ps, all i really know about art is what i learned in my gcse class (and my teacher was awful) so if i use any incorrect terminology at any point in this series i’m so sorry! i’m trying my best 🫶
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yourusername monaco summer 🐚🌊🦋☁️
view all comments…
yourfriend prettiest ever 🥹
yourusername oh hush you 🤭
username girl your figure 😮
username she literally has my dream body 😭
charles_leclerc no photo credits? 😃
yourusername 🙄🙄 photo creds to char ig
arthur_leclerc looking a little windswept there
yourusername do you want me to block you again
arthur_leclerc no thanks u look very pretty !!!!
yourusername aww thank you arth 🥰
username wait who tf is this girl and how does she know charles??
username she’s his childhood best friend! they’ve known each other since they were five 🫶
username i firmly believe y/n y/l/n is a goddess not a human being
*charles_leclerc liked this comment
username CHARLES WHAT THE FUCK???
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tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc opening day for y/n’s latest exhibition, ‘flow’! je suis très fière de toi, mon artiste. ne jamais cesser de rêver 🌊 / beyond proud of you, my artist. never stop dreaming
view all comments…
username now if this isn’t obsessed boyfriend behaviour then i don’t know what is
yourusername aww charlie 🥹 merci de m'avoir soutenu, je vous en serai toujours reconnaissant / thank you for supporting me, i’m forever grateful
charles_leclerc toujours
username and they say they’re just friends?? THIS IS NOT FRIEND BEHAVIOUR
username omg these paintings are so beautiful! what’s the exhibition about?
charles_leclerc it’s a study of water and the ocean!
username they way he’s answering questions about y/n’s own exhibition for her 😭 babes ur not subtle x
username she’s so talented wtf
*charles_leclerc liked this comment
leclerc_pascale Incroyable 😍
yourusername merci, maman 🥰
username SHE CALLS PASCALE MAMAN OH MY GOD???
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yourusername summer break, week one ✅
view all comments…
username everyone say ‘thank you y/n’ for feeding us the soft charles content 🥹
username thank you y/n 🙏
joris_trouche elvis is the star of this dump
yourusername i’ll let him claw you again
joris_trouche PLEASE DONT
charles_leclerc woah who’s that handsome guy in slide 2? 😏
yourusername you wouldn’t know him he’s kind of annoying x
charles_leclerc ouch
username charles featuring twice?? we’re losing her 😔
username three guesses who took the pictures of y/n
username hmm…joris? 🤔
username try again
username elvis 🤨
username close!! but not quite
username is it maybe…charles?!
*charles_leclerc liked this comment
username bingo!!
username trade lives with me please 😫
charles_leclerc i hope summer never ends
yourusername you and me both
username he doesn’t want to go back to the sf-23 and ferrari fucking up his race every week 😔
*yourusername liked this comment
username LMAO Y/N LIKED
username she’s just as sick of ferrari’s shit as we are
joris_trouche everyone ignoring the fact that i’m also in this dump as well !!!
charles_leclerc mate you’re not even looking at the camera
username GAHAHAHA CHARLES
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➜ part 2
974 notes · View notes
fics-lovebot · 7 months
Text
seventeen recs
main masterlist
pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️
poly
dating svt (hyung line) - LOVE IT, joshua got me on a chokehold, and wonwoo PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE :( wherecanIgetoneofthose
dating svt (maknae line) - mingyu as a back hugger is so :(((((((((, I can totally see dino writing love letters to his s/o :(((
pick-up lines - non-idol! au, fluff, silly af, my favs are jeonghan, jun, wonwoo, woozi, mingyu, chwe and chan
you take your promise ring off during a fight - performance unit, vocal unit , hip-hop unit, angsty af, made me cry a little
reaction to the camera panning to them when their idol!s/o is on stage - idol!au, idol!reader, dsfkjsdfjh the jeonghan is my fav idk
kitten ears - pwp, smut, hybrid!reader in heat, LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, IT´S FILTH,,,,, and my fav one is hoshi´s LDJSLFJH read it whenever you feel like having a smut fest
hip hop unit
seungcheol
let me take care of you - drabble, fluff, hubby!cheol, pregnant reader, he is straight uP husband soon-to-be-daddy material, this was so CUTE,,,
caught in a trap - smut, seunkwan´s sister!reader, older brother´s bff!cheol, face riding, he makes you beg for it, “you’ve got me in your little trap, baby. what are you gonna do with me?” SLDKJSHDFKSJ whY is he like tHAT??
as your boyfriend - he gets offended if you don´t let him pay???? now THAT´S my kind of man
whatever you say - fluff, crack, text au, #simp, this is funny lmao
wonwoo
he angry fucks you bc he lost in a video game - blurb, smut, explicittt, the title??? I can see the vision. listen the way this just escalated INMEDIATLY I-, he is ANGRY FR FR in the hottest way, just read it ok pls
he´s rough and in love - smut, just pwp, i made up the name bc it is what it is, he´s already made you cum twice but he still looks at you with eyes full of the purest love while doing the nastiest things, puthy clenching dirty talking, you talk too much, y’know that?, he wanted to keeP GOINg like,,,,sir
the peephole - smut, perv!wonu, roomies au, he´s obsessed, "Speak up, slut. Or have I fucked you completely stupid already" UMMMM?????
scented candles - e.r, fluff, idk idk idk this was cute
couple things - slice of life, fluff, “is there… a reason you’re upside down, my love?” 
needle in the hay - idol au, angst, smut, break up au, idol!reader, 97-liner! reader, poor wonu, slow burn kinda, he´s hopeless and scared and nervous
lingering looks - fluff, idol romance u, POWER COUPLEEEEEEE, I love it, this could be us but he playin
marriage -married life au, dad!wonu, his daughter (a child) wants to marry uncle gyu so he goes on cardiac arrest bc there´s no mf way bUT at least it wasnt soonyoung
workplace crush - work au, co-worker!wonu, I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM AS "THE IT DEPARTAMENT CRUSH"!!!!! I would have had to quit, it´s too much
cat and mouse - smut, kinda red flag!wonu, "Wonwoo thinks you’re the cutest person ever. And the part of you he finds the most cute? The fact that you actually think he’s going to let you avoid him forever." FLSDUKFJHSLDKJFH
arguments - smut, “You remember how I dealt with that little attitude of yours last time?”  he´s a cocky mf
wisdom tooth surgery - fluff, reader is out of it bc of anesthesia and she cant believeee mingyu´s hot rommie is her mans, it´s a nice read
bruised - angst, fluffy ending, break up au, tough guy wonu but he´s actually a cutie pie, he´s careless about his safety, I LOVE ITTT, the angst is gewd
what you need - smut, shy!reader, soft dom!wonwoo, praise kink, JEON MF WONWOO I- LSFHSKDJFHLSJDFLH this made me blush yall, the ending too sdfksdfkh
mingyu
birthday boy - fluff, f2l, the fLIRTING!!??, i honestly blushed, my eyes got watery and everythin, i HATE IT (not) bc why is he so dreamy every TIME??, also,,, the make out sesh?? MY GODDD, i swear I felt it. he. is. inloveeeeee
first kiss - fluff, established relationship, he IS going to kiss you or else,,,,the man is obsessed
he´s big - smut, size kink,"daddy's too big for you? s'okay, princess, you can do it. you can take it. you're my good girl." CALL THE MF POLICE RN!!!!1!!!!! iminlove
big buff gyu - smut, manhandling, dom!gyu, “look at me, let me see you cry, baby” STOOOOOPPPP sksdfnslflfwkf
beach boobs babes - smut, beach au, chubby reader, big boobs, he´s suffering sfjfjdhdjdh, HE´S COCKY,, literally, shit talker, titty fuckin, he likes thicc girlsssss
pup code - fluff, smut, crack, size kink kinda, mingyu has a fat crushhhh, lowkey himbo vibes, he gets so nervous lmao, jeonghan is a lil shit, somebody help mingyu omg, wonwoo is a victim!!!!!, “I’ve never done the Zoolander face in my life!” jefjrejufriuj
sleepy talk - fluff, married au, “Do you think I’m pretty?” “Sweetheart, we’re married.”
his girl - smut, angst, emotionally unavailable reader, whipped mingyu, “i’ll fuck you forever.. as long as you want. fuck you ‘til you never wanna leave again”
funfetti - bf!gyu, birthday au, so FLUFFY I WANNA CRYYYYYYYYYY love him sm :(
hybe romance - idol!gyu, idol!reader, fluff, love itttttttttttt, THOSE PICS OF MINGYU ON PART 2 LORDDDD, if I was an idol hanging out with the 97 squad i´d be a hOE, no questions asked, bunch of men i want to fucc sitting together would be the end of me
pussy drunk - smut, pussy whipped, "i'm legit gonna kill myself if we dont fuck again", HE NEED SOME MIL
creep - smut, halloween au, serial killer!gyu, ghost!gyu, jeonghan is always starting some shit I swear, this is DIFFERENTTT and the smut is so good yall PLEASE read it
first morning together - fluff, UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :((((((( ihateithere
warm on a cold night - fluff, college au, bsf to lovers, it´s cute
daddy - smut, lowkey fluff, dom!mingy, daddy kink, SIZE KINK are we even surprised atp?, innocent! reader
drunk giant - drunk!mingyu, bc why would he try to challenge cheol to a drinking game??, wonwoo is tired, and somebody get hoshi´s lips off of seokmin!
gym and thirst - smut, those pics of mingYU NAUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WOOF WOOF SDKHWEYWRAWRRAWRAWR bc why tf would joshua do that for????? pls I love big men
mingyu´s cause of death - FLUFF, bf!gyu, this made me really want to cry myself to sleep from the beggining bc there´S NO WAAAAAAAAYYYYY :´´) so cute #simp #whipped
heater - fluff, gyu is cold,,,or is he not, “you’re literally taking all of my body heat, that’s why i’m cold,” “maybe if you didn’t insist on using my boobs as a pillow-,” “oh shut up,”
stain on the sink - fluff, e.r, slice of life, sex joke, you bleach his hair, is so domestic idkidk
cuffing season - smut, richbf!mingyu, he got a black card, good money, good job, loves spoiling you AND he´s wearing the wife beater - grey sweats combo??????? CUFF HIM UP NAAAOWWW, AND AND AND he also makes sure to fuck you without ruining your hair and nails that HE PAID FOR!!!!!! BUT since he gets a lil carried away and you chipped a nail he gives 300 dollar$$$ to get it fiixed right away LIKE????? god please when is it my turn to be happy
worshipping you - smut, sub!gyu, a short one but WHEEEWW
wet sound - smut, short one, THE DIRTY TALK!!!!!! I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM bc wdym he makes her shut up so she can listen to her wet coochie sOUNDS????? call 911 rn
kitty - smut, THE VISUALS??!?!??! the way this played in my mind had me shook
trouble - fluff, non-idol!gyu, you´re his pretty mess, lowkey brat reader, in love gyu, baking cookies with his cute lil helper sdfljsdfljh :( its cute
vernon
vernon loves your face - he´s so in love omg, sdsdkfj it´s so cute
coffee talk - fluff, coworker!vernon, work romance au, jwhhxsjxsjd cutee
no studying for you - smut, he isn´t letting you study, “Hansol! For the love of fuck!” “Yeah that’s me, I love to fuck,” what?? dkdsfjfj
bias - fluff, slice of life, idol!au, you make the cats choose their svt bias, IT SO WHOLESOME :((((((((
vocal unit
woozi
joshua
bad joke - angst, fluff, calling you clingy
tom and jerry - smau, fluff, crack, text au, SOMEBODY COME GET JISOO LMAOO, he´s doing too much
mr. nice guy - smut, next door neighbors au, I HATE HIM skfffkjs this got me blushing and shit, he cosplays as a gentleman but he´s actually just a flirty nasty mf
seokmin
You Know What They Say About Men With Big Feet - smut, big feet, big nose, big muscles and a big dicc YUPPPPPP, seokmin has it ALL
perfect man - smut, he´s a gentleman, reader makes the mf move and I would have too
jeonghan
2am conversations - slice of life, “what if crabs think that fish can fly?” “angel, it’s two in the morning,” sdkhfksb it´s cute :(((( so domesticc
such a flirt - fluff, he keeps on flirting but has a breakdown when you flirt back lmao, cute
call me by his name - smut, softdom! wannabe harddom! hannie, hSLFDHSLKFH I CAN REALLY SEE THIS HAPPENING idk idk
the long way - model!jeonghan, staff!reader, UGGHHDSLHFLSKH i love this, he´s so confident and lowkey straight forward
tinted windows - smut, ceo!hannie, panty ripper,, literally, car sex, “sir you have a meeting in twenty minutes.” “fuck that stupid meeting, i have more important things to be doing right now.” IT´S GOOD YALL
seungkwan
dance unit
hoshi
why do you love me? - fluff, blurb, so cute
too hot - very suggestive, naaaahhhh he was done for before it even started
first time - smut, fluff, crack, they´re both dumb, reader is boldddd lmao, #couplegoals
drunk and in love - fluff, wasted!hoshi, him in his tiger patterned-shirt, asdkjasdh he´d deff be like this, he rants about how wonderfull you are to whoever got ears, so cute
junhui
jun realizes he has a size kink - blurb, smut, the words he SAIDD I-, in my opinion it was too short!1! that was some good stuff
how badly do you want this? - smut, oral, 7 mins in heaven, it´s hottt
minghao
lollipops and candy bars - smut, sub!hao, reader loves to tease, cute and innocent looking reader, hao needs help lmao, "Well, I finished off my lollipop a while ago, do you have anything else I could suck on?” SKLHDLFJHKLDJ wow
chan
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solarisfortuneia · 10 months
Text
— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐤.
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and a man with birds in his hair.
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✦ info: he hopes you know that no matter what ails you, he will do his best to see you smile. (fluff. jing yuan basically attempts to cheer you up with birds and a lion.)
✦ featuring: jing yuan.
✦ notes: i was going to relocate this drabble to this blog sooner but i forgot about it lmao but once again, jing yuan is my favorite disney princess <3
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perceptive as always, jing yuan notices your crestfallen expression the second you step in through the door. a frown seems to have made its home in between your brows, and your eyes look heavier than he's ever seen them. you drop your bags on the ground, uncaring of the pile they form, and surge forward, all but jumping into his arms.
he catches you effortlessly, a small noise leaving his lips. "oh, my darling," he whispers softly, holding your face in warm, calloused hands. "you look like you're surrounded by cloudy skies."
he racks his brain, trying to think of something to explain your mood, but he comes up short. though in possession of a mind so intimately familiar with strategy and logic and the act of anticipating an opponents thoughts, he cannot fathom the reason of your sadness for the life of him. 
"what happened?" he asks ever-so-gently. he receives his answer in the form of you turning your gaze away from his.
clearly, you don't want to talk about it.
every fiber of his being screams at him to fix this, to fix your downcast expression, to right everything until you grin brightly.
but he cannot take away pain of the mental variety, no matter how much he wants to. even the all powerful general on the luofu has his limitations. he knows you will tell him of your own accord soon enough, and he is a patient man; he will wait.
but what should he do in the meantime? 
change tactics, of course.
"would you like a bird for your sorrows?"
momentary confusion immediately replaces your gloom. "excuse me, a what?" you blink, once, twice, thrice, absolutely appalled. he can see the thoughts rushing by in your head. did you hear him right? a bird? surely not?
"i asked if you'd like a bird for your sorrows, my dear." he laughs lightly, a twinkle dancing in aureate eyes. a little bird chirps cheerfully, perched comfortably on his shoulder, and another pokes its head from between a cluster of white hair, contributing another bird-like sound to the conversation.
"i picked these guys up on a stroll this morning," he says, by way of explanation, smile growing as he watches your astonishment. "we've been good friends since, haven't we?" he looks up in the direction of the ceiling, attempting to gesture to the bird on his head with his eyes.
you exhale, the tiniest bit of amusement finding its way onto your face. 
"but, i can also offer you a lion, if that is more your preference." he gestures to his beloved mimi curled up at his feet. 
the large cat cracks one eye open when it's mentioned, before lazily stretching out on the carpet. they make quite a pair, the dozing general with his resting lion. it saunters gracefully over to you, gently laying its head on your lap. it nudges your palm a couple of times; a clear indication it wants you to stroke her head. 
"would you look at that," he beams, satisfied that a little smile of your own slowly starts to bloom on your face as you run your fingers through the lion's soft white fur. "let us dispel more of the clouds above your head, shall we?" he holds out an arm, beckoning you to take it. "i believe a date to the dessert shop is in order."
he hears you laugh when the birds on his head chirp in agreement, and he nods to himself in satisfaction, grin never leaving his face. 
he hopes you know that no matter what ails you, he will do his best to see you smile.
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toomuchracket · 9 months
Text
totally wrecked (d word matty x reader smut)
(yo. you should all know what this is, because you voted for it, but if not... a loooong one, full of unprotected bathroom counter sex, mirror fingering, cumplay, and a tiny little bit of the d word being used. FIRMLY 18+, because it's filthy lmao. ok love you all hope you enjoy <3)
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"fuck, you're tight. i don't think - shit, so fucking good, taking me so fucking well - fuck, i don't think i'm going to last much longer, princess."
you can barely hear matty speak, despite the fact your face is tucked into the crook of his neck and you can feel the vibrations of his words (well, moans) against your flushed cheek. he's fucking you relentlessly on top of the granite bathroom counter in his hotel suite, and the wet, slapping sound of his hips driving into yours is the most audible thing in the room; it's so loud, in fact, that it almost drowns out the saturday night soundtrack of the new york city streets outside. it's only been a week since you last saw (and fucked) your boyfriend, but the way he's got your legs wrapped like a vice around his waist and desperately pulls your bum forward to meet his powerful thrusts... one would think you hadn't seen him in months.
although, the way matty's been railing you nonstop through multiple orgasms so far probably has less to do with the time you've spent apart and more to do with what's happened since you reunited two hours ago - namely, the ruined handjob you gave him in the shower, bringing him (slightly sleepy, extremely sappy, and thus putty in your hands) to the edge of release twice, but stopping your motions before any orgasm could properly hit. before you could go for a third time, however, matty snapped and lifted you onto the counter you're currently perched on the edge of. in stark contrast to your teasing method of orgasm deprivation, his means of retaliation is to overload you with them, making you cum over and over and over, until you're teetering on the verge of tears, consciousness, sanity itself. and it's working; you're whimpering with every movement of matty's hips, your brain so clouded from constant pleasure that you genuinely fear you won't be able to function at all if you loosen your grasp on his curls and his back.
sudden pressure on your clit tears a scream from your scratchy throat, making your head snap back in shock. matty - looking as fucked out as you feel, flushed and sweaty and gorgeous as ever - has the absolute cheek to smile sweetly at you as if nothing's happening, all the while continuing to rub tiny circles onto your sensitive bundle of nerves despite your body's convulsions and the whines you can't stop making. "want you to cum again for me, princess," he murmurs, voice echoed by a moan. "need you to be a good girl and cum all over my dick for me, make me cum. you'd - fuck, you're so wet - you'd do that for me, wouldn't you, be my good girl? think i deserve it, since you wouldn't let me cum earlier."
oh, he's fucking sick. he's also right - he does deserve you being good for him, but even the mere thought of another orgasm has you almost blacking out. so you shake your head violently, tears spilling out over your lower lashline and splattering all over you and matty and the counter. "can't, i can't do it, too - mmm - sensitive."
"yeah you can, princess, you can do it," matty coos, the softness in his voice and eyes a total juxtaposition to the brutal pace he's fucking you at. he leans in to give you a quick kiss, and despite your despair at his behaviour you return it eagerly. "just one more for me, sweetheart, that's all i'm asking. what's one more orgasm, after all the others i've given you today, hmm? c'mon, you can do it a final time, my perfect girl, cum for me one more time. please?"
it's the plea that does you in - you're incapable of resisting matty when he goes all sweet on you. and for the second time in probably as many minutes - although you're so dazed that your grasp on the passage of time is probably ballerina-slender at best - he's right. as soon as matty's encouragement begins, so too does the rapid increase of heat in your core, growing and growing with every thrust or clit-circle from your boyfriend. with a cry of "shit, shit, matty!", it explodes into light; you're a supernova, a collapsing star, kept only from falling into an exhaustion-induced black hole by matty's hold on your body.
as you cum for the final time, his hand moves from your clit to behind your head, silently but lovingly nudging you back into the crook of his neck as he chases his own release. the gravitational pull from your own orgasm means he doesn't have far to go, though - within seconds, matty's gasping out your name, thrusts faltering as the pleasure in his body reaches its peak. "'m so fucking close, fuck, babe. where d'you want me?"
"inside, fill me up," you whine into matty's neck, still reeling from the shockwaves of your own ending. on nothing more than base instinct, you suck a mark into the spot your lips have recently inhabited, grazing your teeth over it - at that, matty groans, holding both your hips to get as deep inside you as he can and fulfil your request of being filled with his release. you feel heat in your core again as he does, but this is no stellar demise; it's a rekindling, leaving the two of you glowing with satisfaction.
while he's still inside you, matty's hands slide up from your hips so that he can wrap his arms around your waist. yours slide down from his hair and upper back to copy him, and the two of you just stay clutching each other wordlessly until your breathing regulates and your vision is less blurry and everything feels a bit more... real. matty presses a kiss to your sweaty forehead, then another to the tip of your nose, and finally one on your lips. "did so well for me, sweetheart, thank you. i love you."
"i love you too. thank you baby, that was amazing," you smile sleepily at your boyfriend, who takes the chance to kiss you again with a smile to match your own. "gonna be sore tomorrow, though."
"i'll take care of you, my darling, don't you worry," matty says, brushing your (likely horrendously messy) hair from your face. "d'you feel up for having a bath now? might help prevent some of the aching."
"mmm, yeah, that sounds nice."
"alright, sweetheart, whatever you want," matty takes both your hands in his own and kisses each of them in turn, which elicits a giggle from you. "gonna pull out now, ok?"
you nod, shuffling your now-numb backside as best you can to brace yourself for the imminent discomfort. still holding your hands, matty hisses as he detaches his hips from your own; you wince at the loss of him, but the feeling passes as quickly as it came on. "that wasn't so bad - babe, are you ok?"
your question falls on deaf ears, as your boyfriend does nothing but stare down between your still-open legs as if entranced. his already-dark eyes are still black with lust, both pupils and eyelids wider than normal. when you brush your fingers against his face, matty snaps out of his little reverie and turns his head to kiss your palm with a tender smile, but his gaze falls back to your core within seconds. you giggle, and only then do his eyes flick up to your face. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he begins, sheepish tone almost comical in comparison to the dominance he displayed over you less than five minutes ago. "just can't get over how perfect you look with my cum dripping out of you. still not used to it - don't think i ever will be, to be honest."
"jesus christ, you're such a boy sometimes," you grin, rolling your eyes despite the shivers of arousal that rolled down your spine at matty's words.
"you know full well i'm a man, princess, thank you very much" comes your boyfriend's indignant reply, accompanied by a light flick to your thigh.
"like i could ever forget, with that daft tattoo."
"negativity? pretty bold for a woman who just let me creampie her, no?"
you fake retch. "if you ever refer to it as that in future, matthew, you're never doing it to me ever again."
"fuck, ok. i'm sorry, sweetheart," matty presses little kisses all over your face in effusive apology, pulling giggles and contented little hums from you. "horrible word, i agree. uncouth."
you snort. "you really like cumming inside me, huh? never seen you cave for anything so quickly."
"baby, it's the sexiest thing on the fucking planet," matty grins, kissing your head. he taps your bum once. "turn around for me and have a look, yeah?"
you lean up to kiss matty quickly, murmuring an "ok" against his lips, before lifting your legs onto the counter and beginning the awkward swivel to look in the mirror on the wall. the granite is so wide and smooth that you technically should be able to turn 180 degrees no problem, but the shaky numbness of your legs hinders you slightly - matty helps by grabbing and adjusting your hips, then spreading your legs, standing flush against your back to ensure you don't fall backwards. and when you see yourself, you almost do, out of sheer shock.
it's not that you look bad; in fact, it's the opposite. you look like sex itself. yeah, your cheeks are ruby-woo-red and your hair is perhaps the least neat it's ever been, but you look ridiculously hot like this, fucked-out and messy, all heaving chest and sparkling eyes and kiss-bitten lips and a sense of incredible pleasure just radiating from you. but perhaps the most erotic thing about your appearance is the little drops of white trailing down your ruined core, juices from a summer nectarine. is it anywhere near as sweet?
"matty," you whisper, still staring at the sight between your legs. "i want to know what we taste like. can i?"
"fuck," matty groans, bowing his head so his forehead is pressed against the back of yours. he inhales deeply, then leans to rest his head on your shoulder, kissing your neck lightly. "whatever you want, princess, you'll get."
with that, he brings a calloused hand round and drags the pads of his middle and ring fingers up your core, catching the drops of his own cum as he does. you whimper when they brush against your swollen, sensitive clit, which earns you a "sorry, sweetheart" and a kiss to your temple before matty's holding his fingers in front of your lips. wordlessly, and looking at matty in the mirror the whole time to see his reaction, you take his fingers into your mouth to the knuckle, dragging your tongue up and across them before sucking and releasing them with a wet pop. matty whines - actually whines - at the sensation, throwing his head back in arousal before leaning back in to kiss your neck. "good?"
you nod, savouring the salt of him and tang of you on your tongue, a little bit like one of the margaritas you had at drinks earlier. then you tilt your head towards matty and pout your lips slightly. "have a taste for yourself, angel."
matty smiles sweetly at you, before grabbing your jaw and pressing his lips to your own. so quickly and instinctively that you would be embarrassed if you weren't so turned on, your mouth opens to let his tongue in. you love all of matty's kisses, but these types are your favourite - long and sloppy and and head-spinning, matty taking up your mouth with his own so completely it's almost like he's trying to devour you. you think you'd let him; you'd let him do anything with that mouth, quite frankly.
that mouth, which you capture the bottom lip of between your teeth and release slowly, pulling back from your boyfriend purely so you can breathe. he lets out a shaky breath as you do - which inflates your ego by an astronomical degree - and murmurs your name dreamily, before wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck. your eyes meet again in the mirror a few seconds later, his and hers gazes trailing down your reflection to the space between your legs. you sigh when you don't see any more white trickling out of you, and matty giggles when he realises what you're irked about. "you are such a little slut and i am in love with you. are you really pouting because you can't see my cum spilling out of you anymore? incredible."
"stop itttttt," you whine, burying your face in your hands. "i just think it's hot to look at. and s'your fault that i can't, because you came so deep in me."
"generally, sweetheart, that's the point of a cr- cumming inside someone."
"i know, i know. just quite like seeing it, s'all."
"i know you do, princess, i was just teasing," matty says sweetly, resting his head on top of your own. a beat passes, then you see his pretty face light up in the way you've come to recognise as his "i'm a fucking genius" mode in the mirror. "and i've got an idea, if you're feeling up for it."
you narrow your eyes. "what?"
"well, provided you're a bit less sensitive than you were... let me finger my cum out of you."
fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
another shiver of arousal rolls down the back of your neck and spine, making you sit up a bit straighter. you swallow before responding. "yeah, ok."
"you sure, sweetheart?" matty hooks his index finger under your jaw and turns your head to face him. "because if you're not feeling alright, we can go and have a bath and chill."
"no, i'm alright, babe," you say, pecking matty on the lips. "really. i'll tell you if i need to stop. i know the safeword."
"good girl," matty reciprocates your peck. "have fun, princess."
with that, his mouth is back on your neck again, lightly sucking a bruise into the soft skin while his hands come around to your boobs. calloused fingers lightly brush over your nipples at first, matty rubbing little circles into them exactly as he would on your clit - initially softly, sweetly, pressure increasing the more you moan and whine and arch your back into him. the pleasure wafting across your body is gentle, soft, a sense of contentment; that soon shifts into elation when matty suddenly pinches your nipples, rolling them between his fingers as he says "so fucking gorgeous, all spread out for me. want me to keep going?"
you whimper out a reply, hips beginning to grind into thin air. "need your fingers inside me, please, need them now."
"whatever you want, princess."
with that, matty leans around to capture your lips in another passionate kiss. this one is slightly different to the last - the underlying motivation behind it is love, not lust. you allow yourself to relax a little, bask in the glow of the love you and matty have for each other, and so you're pleasantly shocked at the sudden feeling of his middle finger teasing your entrance. "fuck, yes," you moan against matty's lips. "fuck me with it, please."
matty's other hand comes down to your left thigh, spreading it even further out as he circles your - arguably soaked - hole with the other. "watch me do it, then."
you do as you're told, gluing your eyes to your own core. with a kiss to your shoulder far too chaste for the circumstances, matty slides his finger inside you and begins to pump it slowly. "fuck, baby," he moans into your skin. "touch your tits for me, make yourself feel good. god, so fucking hot, so good for me."
with a whine, you bring your hands up to your nipples in an imitation of the motions matty was doing a moment ago - a poor imitation, but it does the trick nonetheless. and really, you could get away with doing nothing at all and still get lost in how good matty's finger feels inside you, hooking upwards before thrusting in and out increasingly quickly. but you want this to be good for him, too, so you obey; you're awarded with a "good girl, doing so fucking well for me" for your efforts, followed by a "can i add another?", to which you eagerly agree.
once matty's established a toe-curlingly good rhythm and pace with his fingers, he latches his lips onto your neck again. you watch him in the mirror, through eyes half-lidded with pleasure, as he sucks an accompanying bruise next to the existing one, forming a little heart - even hazy with a slowly-building orgasm in the base of your spine, you smile at the action. being lovey-dovey and sappy even while he's literally clawing his cum out of your cunt? it's so characteristically matty that it makes your heart melt.
it reforms into a flutter mere seconds later, though, when your boyfriend angles his hand in such a way that his fingers hit your g-spot, while his wrist presses lightly on your still-sensitive clit. you cry out at the sensation, jerking forward in ecstasy, while matty coos and wraps his free arm around your waist to keep you close. "oh, there she is! god, you're so good for me, princess. want me to make you cum now?"
you're nodding frantically before he can even finish speaking. "please, please, make me cum," you whimper, meeting matty's lust-filled eyes in the mirror. "been so good for you, wanna cum."
"alright."
it's incomprehensible to you how he does it, but matty speeds up his hand movements even more, cooing into your ear and calling you his "good fucking girl, perfect girl" as he does. you silently pray to any and all deities that might exist in gratitude for whoever told him to pick up a guitar and develop wrist strength back in the day, before a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach wipes your mind clean of any coherent thought. "matty, baby, m'gonna cum."
"hold it."
no fucking way. your eyes widen in horror. "what?!"
matty giggles - not maliciously, but not exactly nicely, either. "just for a second longer, princess, just so you can enjoy how good my cum feels inside you before i fuck it all out. hold it for daddy, ok?"
he's pulled the d word card. the fucking d word card.
you can't flake on him now, so you take a deep breath and continue looking at your boyfriend's reflection. "alright then."
a kiss to your temple. "good girl."
despite your best intentions to delay your orgasm, matty has no such qualms; you swear his fingering gets even faster, his dirty talk gets moanier, and the kisses he's harassing your neck with are the sexiest yet. regardless on whether that's actually true or not (although your boyfriend's slight sadistic streak makes you believe in the former), the pressure in your stomach continues to grow. you don't know if you have it in you at all to stop it.
luckily, though, the actual end goal of this little sexperiment is in sight, literally - looking down at matty's fingers thrusting into you, you notice his cum from earlier beginning to seep out around them. it's an obscenely erotic image, eliciting a synchronised moan from you and matty. he grins, panting, into your shoulder. "fuck, princess, look at you all full of me. mine, all mine, my perfect girl, the love of my life."
the combination of the sight and matty's praise is a heady one, intoxicating you, making your eyes roll back into your skull and your already aching legs quiver. teeth chattering with an impending orgasm, you manage a whimpered request. "daddy, please, please can i cum now?"
"oh, princess," matty pulls you in for a quick kiss, marvelling at the way your eyes flutter when he pulls away. "go on, cum for me, good girl."
as soon as the words leave his mouth, the elastic band of building pressure in your stomach snaps. screaming, you cling to matty's arms as he moans and works you through the orgasm, in spite of you clenching around his fingers so tightly he can barely move. he pulls them out before the aftershocks kick in, wrapping both arms around you and verbally coaxing you through your high between kisses to your face and neck and shoulders and head.
once you've stopped shaking quite so much, you snuggle into matty while the two of you catch your breath, watching streams of white liquid pour out of you. before matty has the chance, you cup your hand just below your hole to catch most of it and bring it to your mouth - he groans out a "you're fucking perfect" as you do, followed by a "beautiful, filthy girl" as you smile at him with his cum all over your lips. matty pulls you in for another kiss; ironically, this one is gentle and loving and sweet, until matty breaks it. "god, we really do taste fucking amazing. you're fucking amazing. i love you, my girl, you did so well for me."
"i love you, too. i can't believe we just did that," you say, shifting as best you can to hug your boyfriend. "can we do it again?"
"love the enthusiasm, but we need a bath first, sweetheart, i think."
"true."
462 notes · View notes
prodagustd · 4 months
Text
the road not taken 02 | myg
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Summary: You could count two times when you thought you got over Yoongi and then realized you were wrong (or maybe three times?)
part two: get up and fall again
< part one
—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress oc
—rating: +18
—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)
—warnings/tags: slow burn,angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, use of drugs (just weed), flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!
—words: 11k
—a/note: I took the longest time to write this but I'm back!! I'm so happy to finally post this !! fun fact: while I was writing this I listened to let the light in by lana del rey on loop!! and ofc, last night by the strokes !! hope you like it, as always, you're welcomed to discuss this part in my asks. 🥰
series masterlist | teaser | playlist
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Four years ago. 
Three weeks before New Year's Eve. 
Ever since you could remember you understood one thing that was going to define the first years of your life: you weren’t your brother. It wasn’t difficult to understand, but it was difficult to remember. 
There was a four year gap between Simon and you, and an abyss between who he was and who you were that people didn’t seem to understand. Even if you had no interest in it, just the idea of competing with the image of your brother was completely pointless; he was the first son of a first daughter, the first grandson, the perfect portrait of your mother’s face, while you were the last granddaughter, the one who came at the wrong time, the one whose eyes could only resemble the sad ghost of your father. 
You spent your preteen years witnessing how your aunts and your grandmother expected you to be the same, as if you were supposed to be as charming or as funny as him, despite the clear evidence that you were a completely different person. Maybe it was the dark clothes, or the black eyeliner you wore everyday, maybe your lack of social skills and the bad attitude in the mornings or just the desperate attempt to be different, while he was the cool sibling, you were seen as the weird one. 
Maybe growing up with that label taped to your forehead would have made you resent him, you didn’t remember when or how, but you managed to separate him from all that bullshit. You loved Simon not just because you were attached to the hip since you were born, but because he was one of the few people who never expected anything from you but to be yourself. He always encouraged you to wear whatever clothes you wanted and listen to whatever screaming rock band you liked at the moment even if he didn’t understand any of it.  And after all it wasn’t his fault that he was tall and handsome and good at basketball, it wasn’t his fault that you couldn’t and didn’t want to be a female version of him. You decided to embrace the difference. You weren’t your brother, and because of that you had to fight your way to find your own self. 
When you found The Alley, or as Yoongi called it, the theater near the park with the weird fountains, you felt it clicked for you. It wasn’t just your theater classes, it was a place filled with people just like you, people who understood you. You didn’t have to explain your jokes there, you didn’t have to think twice before speaking, the image of your brother wasn’t hovering over you when people saw you, it was nice.
For the first time you were part of a community, you spent more time in The Alley than in your home, you knew all the bands who came to practice at the place, you knew the lady who cooked pizza for all the movie nights, you were friends with the guy who sold the tickets and the girl who worked at the bar. You spent all your summers volunteering with your friends, making popcorn, accommodating the seats, writing the plays you were going to perform when October came, it was part of you. 
But when you had to leave for college you knew you had to leave everything behind. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia. You refused to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones. It’s been a long time since you outright refused to live in the past, but tonight seemed to be an exception. 
When your feet turned the corner of the park and your eyes found the Christmas Lights decorating the old theater on the other side of the street, you were hit by a wave of something you knew you shouldn’t feel, something close to relief. A feeling you always seemed to run away from. 
“Should we buy popcorn?” Yoongi’s soft voice made you come out of your trance. You looked at him, waiting for the traffic light to turn red so you could cross the street. 
“We need to get in line to secure our seats first.” You explained to him, feeling a rush of nervousness washing down your body. When you had your last day at The Alley you said goodbye to everyone and never made plans to come back, this was unexpected.
“But what if popcorn runs out?” He asked, as if that could be a possible scenario. “The line isn’t even that long.”
He pointed to the short line at the entrance, which was formed by just five people. 
“Popcorn is not going to run out.” You rolled your eyes. “And even if the line is not long, we still need to get the best sets, they are not numbered.” 
Yoongi stood in his place, understanding your logic, but at the same time wondering how did you know that the seats weren’t numbered in the first place. 
He frowned “How did you know?” He asked. You turned to him, looking a bit confused, but then, a green light lit up his face, the traffic light allowing you to cross the street. You grabbed his hand, dragging him with you. 
“Hurry up!” You exclaimed, quickly crossing the street to reach the end of the line.
Yoongi ran after you, but didn’t demand the answer of his question when you reached the end of the line. It was like both of you agreed not to disrupt one of those rare good moments when you didn’t have a frown on your face, it was so hard to grasp it that he decided to do whatever you said, he even let you make fun of him when you realized he was wearing a dress white shirt under his coat, just for the sake of keeping a smile on your face. 
You touched the collar of his shirt, tugging from it just to annoy him. 
“Ouch!” He complained, but didn’t do anything to pull away from you. 
“My mom is probably thrilled that I’m hanging out with you.” You mentioned, fixing the collar and smoothing the fabric with your fingers like you weren’t the one who messed it up. “I bet she thinks that if I spend enough time with you, you’ll turn me into a lawyer like you.” 
Yoongi scoffed, believing that impossible “I’m not a lawyer yet.” He said, and you knew that, but he wasn’t far from it. “But even if I was, I couldn’t turn you into one.” 
“Of course not, we can’t both be lawyers.” You murmured, leaning on the wall behind you. “Besides, I couldn't be a lawyer… I’ve never learned to lie.” You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, waiting for his reaction, but he just rolled his eyes, sighing. 
“You’re mean…” He hissed. 
But Yoongi seemed to be fine with it, he took all your mean jokes about lawyers like a bullet, accepting his destiny, accepting how different both of you were. 
In times like these, it hurt a bit to notice how kind he was, from the tip of his red nose to the palms of his rough hands, kindness was all he had to offer. The contrast of how hard you struggled to be nice to how easy it was for him was palpable, Yoongi smiled to the skinny teenage boy who checked your tickets and the girl who gave away flyers advertising the next movie night the following weekend and never forgot to say thank you, while you had to constantly remind yourself not to curse every person who crossed your way, at least not out loud. 
Once you were inside the place you forced yourself to shake those thoughts off your head, determined to drag Yoongi across the principal hall in order to get your seats without looking back. 
There were multiple kinds of chairs at the theater, it was one of the things that made it so special. The Alley was never built to be a theater, it was a big old house bought by a group of friends years and years ago. They tore up a few walls and built it to be a place to watch movies, paint, do theater, play music or write poetry. On movie nights they put together different chairs and a projector and it suddenly turned into a cinema. 
You were sure Yoongi didn’t know any of this, it was the first time he put foot in this place, but you, who had plenty of experience, knew where the best seats were. 
The best seats were located in the middle of the room, it was a couple of recycled red cinema chairs. You remembered that Sid, one of the owners of the place, told you that he got them at an auction and that they were vintage, but to you they just looked old and dusty at the time. Of course over time you realized that they were the best place to be, they were located just in the perfect place and they were the most comfortable, but they were only two sets of four chairs, so if you didn’t hurry up you would have ended up at the back of the room sitting on some bleachers. 
Yoongi didn’t understand why you were in a rush to get there, but you were right, you got the best seats. 
“Now, stay here.” You told him “I’m coming back with popcorn.” 
You thought it was only right that if he bought the tickets, you were supposed to buy popcorn and drinks. But then again, you weren’t supposed to think of this as a date at all. 
You rushed to the entry of the room, turning on the corner near the bar and saw the stand of popcorn. As you stood in the line, you realized you didn’t notice how cold it was outside until you felt how warm the place was inside. You guessed that the hurry to get to the seats didn’t give room to think about it at all. 
Almost four years went by and it was like time didn’t pass at all inside these walls. Things in your hometown never changed, and sometimes you liked it that way, but most of the time it was the main reason why you wanted to run away from it. Your mom always said you were a creature of metamorphosis, always changing, and you accepted the title for a while, but now you were wondering if your need to morph just meant that you could never be truly happy with any of the paths that you chose for yourself. 
In no time you bought the popcorn and came back to your seat, a little displeased with the thought, but glad that you didn’t find anyone who could recognize you. You were safe for now, perhaps you could watch the movie and come back home going unnoticed. 
But of course things never worked in the way you wanted. 
“Sorry, excuse me.” You murmured, managing to carry two cups filled with coke and a bucket of popcorn, you watched your step carefully, trying not to step on other people. You raised your gaze, focusing on reaching the empty seat next to Yoongi, who was looking at his phone. 
You took a seat next to him, handing him the drink. He murmured a small ‘thank you’, but didn’t look at you. “What are you doing?” You asked him, burying a finger on the side of his torso, making him jump in surprise.
“I’m trying to prove you wrong, look…” He replied, showing the screen of his phone to you. You narrowed your eyes, trying to focus your gaze on whatever he was showing to you, a website filled with reviews of Home Alone 2. “It has good reviews.”
You snatched the phone off his hands, observing the preview photo and the poster of, what it seemed to be, Yoongi’s favorite movie. You scrolled for a couple seconds, checking if what he said was true. “Three stars' average reviews is not good.” You informed him, but now he looked offended. 
“Three stars is good for a Christmas movie, what are you talking about?” He insisted. 
“What are you talking about? The first one has five stars’ average reviews, if you settle for bad Christmas movies, that’s on you.” You teased him, giving him his phone back. 
He shook his head, scoffing “I can’t believe you think Home Alone 2 is a bad Christmas movie, it has that scene with the pigeon lady!” He kept insisting. 
“Which scene?” You asked, but by doing that, you gave yourself away. 
“What do you mean which scene?” He asked, confused. You opened your mouth, wanting to defend yourself, but then he gasped. “God, Pinky. You have never watched Home Alone 2, haven’t you? 
Your mouth hung open, starting to laugh “I-... I just-”
“No, I can’t believe it.” He laughed, shaking his head in disapproval “You never watched it.”
“I’ve watched the beginning, okay?” You tried to explain. “And I think it was enough for me to decide if it was a good movie or not.”
“Bullshit.” Yoongi said, now a bit offended that you talked shit about a movie that you didn’t even finish.“You can’t decide that if you didn’t even watch the scene with the pigeon lady.”
You laughed even harder, covering your mouth with the palm of your hand. ��I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
He opened his eyes widely. “Of course you don’t, you didn’t watch the movie!” He exclaimed “You just have to stop pretending to be a film critic to enjoy some movies, you know that?”
You rolled your eyes. “C’mon, the fact that I’m here means that I’m willing to try.”
The fact that you were here meant you were irremediably in love with him, a voice in your head reminded you of that, and maybe it was the same thing. 
“For me?” He teased you, making you close your eyes for a split second. That didn’t help at all. 
You sank into your seat, “For you, I guess.”
And that could've been the beginning of the end of the night. You and Yoongi watching the movie and coming back home before it was too late and laying in bed remembering every word he said, like they meant something else, before falling asleep.
But nothing could ever be that simple. 
“You!” A high pitched voice interrupted the silence. You raised your gaze, startled. Your eyes found a redhead girl turned around in the seat in front of you, pointing her finger at you with a big smile decorating her bright red lips.  “I knew I recognized that voice from somewhere!”
You felt your stomach drop.
Minnie. 
“Oh, God, Minnie.” You breathed out. “You scared me!”
Perhaps on the way here you prayed so hard not to see somebody you knew tonight  that whoever that was up there in the sky heard you, but instead of helping you, decided to laugh at you in your face, because sitting directly in front of you was Minnie, one of your closest partners during your theater days. 
And the only person who you ever told about Yoongi. 
“Do I look that old?” She giggled, cupping her face in her palms “It’s only been a few years, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in decades!”
 “Yes…I mean, no!” You pressed your lips together, crossing looks with Yoongi, who looked at you with curious eyes. “I just didn't expect to see you here.”
“Me?” Minnie scrunched her nose, laughing “I didn’t expect to see you, what are you doing here?”
“Me?” You nervously laughed. “I was in town and I- we came to see the movie…” You managed to explain, trying to act as normal as possible, but you were sure that your shaking eyes, jumping from Yoongi’s face to Minnie’s, were giving you away. “This is Yoongi, by the way. And this is Minnie, a friend.” You introduced both of them. 
If any of them realized how nervous you were, they didn’t say a thing. 
Minnie, as expressive as she was, opened her eyes wide open, surprised. 
“Oh, Yoongi, Yoongi?” She asked, emphasizing every vowel of his name.
“Is there another Yoongi?” Yoongi laughed, turning his head to see you. 
You wanted to vomit. 
“Mmm, not that I know of!” She smiled, offering her hand for him to shake. “Nice to finally meet you, Yoongi-Yoongi.” Yoongi took her hand, shaking it three times right in front of your petrified face. “I heard a lot of things about you back in the day.”
Minnie winked at you in a very exaggerated manner, instantly making you freeze in your place. Now you were a hundred percent sure that you were about to vomit, but maybe that would be an amazing scenario for you, you would have to run away to the closest bathroom and wouldn’t have to be in the presence of this interaction.
“Oh, really?” Yoongi smiled, displaying his gummy smile. “What things?”
“You know, all kinds of things.” She raised her eyebrows, clearly amused with the look on your face, that begged her to please shut up. 
“Me and Minnie- we used to come here a lot when we were in high school.” You intervened in the conversation, trying to change the subject as soon as you could without thinking much. 
“That’s right, we were pretty close!” She reminisced “We were always paired up together.”
“Paired up in what?” Yoongi asked, naturally. 
“Theater.” She explained without giving you much time to think about saying something else. “Didn’t you know that your girl had her beginnings here, at The Alley?”
You gulped, and Yoongi, for the first time during the night, seemed to read you just right. He tilted his head, surprised “Well, no. She didn’t say anything.”
“Really?” She frowned, not understanding why, but Yoongi immediately got it. 
“It was a long time ago…” You trailed off, trying hard not to make it seem like a big deal, like it was just a hobby you had when you were a teenager, but Yoongi knew you. He could see it in your eyes, the same look you had when Simon caught you using his legos, when you had to tell your mom you got suspended for getting in a fight in high school, the same look you had when you were caught. It was clear to him that you didn’t want him to see that part of you, whatever it was.
“I mean, she’s always been pretty mysterious, hasn’t she?” Minnie said “It takes a while to figure her out, you’ll get there.”
“I think I’m close enough, aren’t I?” His answer was smooth, almost annoying you. He playfully squeezed your knee and you wished he hadn't done it, because your old friend was now looking at you with stars in her eyes full of excitement. It had been almost four years since you had a proper talk with Minnie, but despite the fact that little to nothing happened between you and the man next to you, you were sure she was convinced you were on a date right now. 
And perhaps it was not just his hand on your knee, maybe it was the fond look on his eyes too, seeking complicity in his jokes, but you were not going to go down that route tonight. You scoffed. “Not one bit.” You said, out of bitterness, because Yoongi knew you as well as your brother, perhaps his only flaws were being dumb and blind, but that came with being a man anyway. 
For your own good, the lights of the room flickered twice, meaning that the movie was about to start soon. “That means I should leave you alone, right?” Minnie sighed,  “But it’s really nice to see you here after so long, sweetheart.” 
You nodded, offering her a soft smile, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty. It was in Minnie’s nature to always offer love and kindness to everyone, but it was hard to hold her gaze when she called you by that name, knowing that you didn’t deserve it. 
 “It’s nice to see you, too.” Was all you could say, despite it being a lie. 
In another universe you would’ve loved to see your old friend and feel something bigger than nostalgia, but you couldn’t, you felt obligated to reject the feeling. You couldn’t live in the fantasy of what could have been. 
She was about to turn around, but before she could do it, she raised one of her fingers, like she just remembered something. “By the way… Are you still doing theater?” She inquired.
You shrugged, shaking your head “Ummm… Not really…”
She pouted, disappointed. “That’s a shame, because… I don’t know, it’s crazy that I’m seeing you tonight. I know of someone who’s looking for someone just like you, if you were interested.” Her words lingered in the air, but the lights flickered again.  “But I’m guessing I should keep that for after the movie… And Yoongi!” She exclaimed, pointing at him “I’m glad that you finally stopped dating dumb girls, my friend right there was very popular around here. You’re very lucky.”
You almost gasped, immediately turning your head to Yoongi, who just scoffed amused. Before you could even breathe, your friend turned around exactly when the lights went off, starting the movie right away.
You held your breath for what felt to be an eternity, but in the darkness you saw a smirk tugging from Yoongi’s lips, being followed by an outburst of laughter. The sound of his quiet laugh made you freeze in your place, was he laughing at you?
You opened your mouth, trying to find an explanation for your friend’s comment, but he shook his head as if he was stopping you, clearly entertained by the shocking look on your face. “Oh, save it for later.” He whispered, brushing it off. 
You pressed your lips together, sinking in your seat as you observed him focusing on the movie, and you were supposed to do the same, but you couldn’t think of anything else. The only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t see how red your face was, because you sure as hell could feel it. 
God, you wanted to die, but whoever put you through this whole thing knew that death could only be seen as kindness. 
How come that after years of quitting theater you were still being this dramatic? You didn’t know, but tonight death felt like a greater destiny than the embarrassment you felt. 
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In situations like these, you remembered two specific times during the past seven years when you thought you got over Yoongi, but then you realized you failed miserably.
You evoked the memory of those two situations for a special reason, to teach you a lesson: you must not continue to engage with the man sitting next to you. There were three reasons for you to learn from this lesson, because otherwise:
It would hurt your mind. 
It would hurt your heart.
It would hurt your soul.
These seemed three perfectly logical reasons to learn the lesson, but you were never the best student. 
The first memory that always came to mind was the first time Yoongi and Simon came back home for Christmas after going to college. It had been six months since you decided to convince yourself that the last two years you spent being in love with him were just a fever, but when Yoongi walked in the room and you saw that he got a new haircut and pierced his ears, you thought that the plan “get over my brother’s best friend” would not work at all, at least not now. Maybe you could try the following year.
(Spoiler: the following year did not work either.)
The second time was last summer, a few months ago, when both of them came back for summer break and Yoongi invited you to some pool party. You were supposed to go with Simon, but at the last minute he ended up getting sick and told you two to go alone. There was a time when you believed that Simon worked as some kind of barrier between you and Yoongi, hanging out with them meant that now you were a group of three, it reminded you that the only reason you kept seeing Yoongi was because he was Simon’s best friend, nothing else. And when you and Yoongi were alone, well… It was different.
That night none of you were planning to get into the pool, it was a strange house full of strange people and it almost felt like you were crashing the party. You were wearing a black summer dress and Yoongi was wearing jeans, you only went for free alcohol and to check if someone had any weed, you thought you were safe. Of course every little effort you made trying not to think that way about him anymore was ruined when decided to take off his shirt, grab you by your hips and jump in the pool, dragging you with him. 
Needless to say, you were furious.  The only thought that crossed your mind was that neither of you had a change of clothes, but he didn’t care. When you got your head out of the water, you saw him laughing. 
You gasped “Fuck you!” You punched his arm, not caring that everyone around you was observing you, laughing because he did something cute.
He kept laughing “I’m sorry, you looked hot!” He defended himself, grabbing your arms to pull you closer under the water. 
“What!?” You shouted, fighting against his hold but wondering if you heard that right. 
“You looked like you needed a dip!” He clarified, shouting back. His lips stretched widely, showing you a white smile. You wished you could punch that cheeky expression off his face, but you were too busy trying not to sink into the water as he firmly gripped your waist, crashing your body against his bare chest. 
“You idiot, I can’t swim!” You whined, gripping his shoulders so you wouldn’t drown. 
He snickered, hugging you closer. “It’s fine, Pinky, I wouldn’t let you die in front of all these people.”
The moment you realized you had not gotten over Yoongi was not then, it was not when he took off his shirt either, and it was not when you saw him running his fingers through his wet hair, nor when you saw the drops of water dripping down his wide back, no. Not even when he wrapped his strong arms around your body or when he gripped your hips and lifted you up to seat you on the edge of the pool. You realized that you were still in love with Yoongi when he sat next to you, and when he realized that you were not playing, that you were really angry, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed your forehead, whispering “I’m sorry.” 
The heart clenching memory of the look on his face, the sound of his voice and the touch of his lips against your skin were enough to screw you up, but not enough to make you learn the lesson.
Now, sitting next to him, you began to think that you were finally losing your mind when you tried to focus on the movie for the first ten minutes, and then for the next thirty minutes, and the next fifty, but when an hour passed you found out, or you just remembered, that it was useless to focus on something else when Yoongi was by your side. 
You often forgot how impossible it was for you to ignore Yoongi’s presence, even in the most packed and loudest rooms, but the confirmation that you finally drove yourself insane was when you noticed that you just couldn’t ignore his arm laying next to yours in the shared armrest, or your hands touching when you reached to grab popcorn, and you certainly couldn’t ignore his fingers when they reached to play with the fabric of the hem of your sleeve. 
You carefully looked down to the arm rest, observing his fingers tugging the tiny piece of ruffle fabric at the end of your sleeve. He wasn’t trying to get your attention or to annoy you, it was something almost unconscious, a small gesture, very easy to miss, but it was enough for you to stop breathing for a moment. Now, it was impossible to ignore the warmth of his fingers slightly grazing over your wrist. 
You sighed deeply, feeling the failure sinking in your bones once again. The line between what you were supposed to feel and what you were actually feeling was always blurry, but this time seemed to be completely erased, and once again, you were the one to blame for thinking that this time seeing Yoongi could be any different. 
You were screwed up again. 
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You could say you enjoyed the last part of the movie, at least the parts where you were zoning out enough to quiet your mind, but when the lights were turned on you remembered that your brain hated you.
Your eyes swept the place, observing the people around you clapping as the credits rolled down. 
“So?” His voice sneaked into the hustle and bustle of your head, making you turn to look at him, but your eyes focused on the almost empty bucket of popcorn on his lap. “Do you like it? I’ve never seen Home Alone on a big screen.”
You grabbed a handful of popcorn from the very bottom of the bucket. “I’ve seen it plenty of times on a big screen.” You said, stuffing your mouth with the food so you wouldn’t answer any of the questions you knew he was about to make, but the second those words left your mouth you realized you gave yourself away.
“Yeah, I imagine.” He scoffed, signaling with his head towards the empty seat where Minnie was sitting a few seconds ago. You were grateful that she disappeared the moment the movie ended so she wouldn’t hear this conversation. “I heard some of it just now.” You huffed, pretending to be tired of him and chewing long enough to prevent yourself from talking. “Is there anything else I should know? Apart from the fact that you have a secret twin who takes theater classes and has friends who are actually nice?”
The only thing that could come out of your mouth was something rude. “Oh, shut up.” You spat, looking at anything else except his face. 
Yoongi shifted on his seat with a shameless smirk decorating his face, getting closer to you. “Don’t! Don’t shut me up.” He laughed, casually grabbing your face between his fingers so you wouldn’t run away from his gaze. “I want to know all about that, like, were you really talking shit about me during high school?”
You frowned, remembering what Minnie said about Yoongi dating dumb girls. Of all the conclusions he could have drawn from that, was that the one he came up with?”
“I wasn’t… talking shit about you.” You wanted to explain “Have you considered that I was just really into gossiping?”
He snorted, “It’s the same thing.” 
“It’s not.” You denied. 
“So you were gossiping about me?” He asked “About the girls I dated?”
“C’mon, what about it?” You tried to dismiss as quickly as possible “I was like fourteen, and in my defense, you never had good taste in girls.” 
Yoongi narrowed his eyes, a bit offended “Why? You really think the girls I dated were dumb?” You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a laugh. “That’s not very feminist of you.”
You rolled your eyes “Oh shut up, what do you know about feminism?” You said. “Those were just… facts.”
“Yeah, I’m sure of that.” He scoffed “What I’m not so sure about is that thing your friend said… That I’m really lucky to be with you.” 
“Ignore her.” You tried to cut him, looking away so he wouldn’t notice how embarrassed you were.
“No, why?” He smiled, poking fun at you. “She said you were really popular, but I don’t get it. I don’t know a man who could stand your behavior for more than two hours. Besides me, of course.”
You could be offended by that, but it was the truth. 
“Well, they couldn't,” You said, crossing your arms over your chest. “They just wanted me for my talent.”
“Let me doubt that.” He said “If you were so good, why did you never tell me?”
“Well, it was a secret” You confessed, there was no point in hiding now. “I didn’t want anyone to know, people would think it was dumb.” 
“And when did you care about what other people think?”
You sighed. All the time, you wanted to say, but you kept that for yourself. 
“I just... wanted it for myself, no one had to know.” You explained.
Yoongi waited a few seconds for you to say something else, but you weren’t willing to pour your heart to him just yet. Yes, when you found The Alley you discovered a part of yourself that was completely unique, but that didn’t mean you wanted to share it. It was for you only, and you were happy with that. 
“Well, Pinky.” He sighed, squeezing your knee like he always did. “Even if it was a secret… I’m telling you, you were pretty obvious.” 
“What do you mean?” You frowned, confused
 “I mean, you always liked High School Musical a little bit too much.” He explained as a mocking smirk tugged from the corners of his lips. “At first I thought it was just Zac Efron, but now it makes sense.”
You nudged his shoulder before the frown in your face disappeared into laughter. “High School Musical is the best movie ever, to be obsessed with it was just logical.” You tried to excuse yourself “That and, of course, Zac Efron.”
“I never thought you would have a thing for basketball players.” He muttered, trying to play nonchalant as his eyes wandered towards the corner of the room, circling back to your gaze. You realized he was expecting an answer for that. 
“Kind of.” You waved off, pretending to be laid back about it. “But only the ones who have this internal struggle about their father’s plans for their future and their unusual passion for musical comedy.”
He let out an amused snort. “Very specific, what a shame.”
You stared at him for a second, wondering what game he was trying to play now. 
You tried so hard to keep your face straight, to try to show him that you weren’t phased by any of his stupid jokes. You wanted to remind him that you weren’t like any of those girls who were charmed just by the sight of his eyes, you weren’t like those girls he stopped in the hallways just to make them giggle when you were in high school, you wanted to make clear that you were different — except that, of course, you weren’t. The moment he displayed that specific smirk, you committed the unforgivable crime of blushing. 
But he was quick to dismiss it, he always was. 
And you were obligated to forget about it. 
“So? Why did you leave it?” He inquired, “Were you that bad?” He ignored that the room was now almost empty. Maybe in another situation you would’ve taken advantage of that and told him it was time to go to avoid telling the truth, but why hide now? Maybe telling the truth wasn’t so bad. 
You smirked, rolling your eyes. “I was the best one in my group, you don’t even know.” 
“Yeah?” He moved closer to you with big eyes, showing you how curious he was.
“Of course, do you have any doubts?” 
“Well, yes, a few.” He teased “I’d have to see it for myself.”
“Sure, when they clear the stage I’ll do a demonstration just for you.” You joked, successfully making him laugh. 
“That would be an amazing way to avoid my question.” He pointed.
You felt your chest getting lighter, and if that hinted you that it meant something dangerous, you ignored it. 
“I wasn’t doing that.” You tried to defend yourself. 
“You do that all the time.” He reminded you, and he was right. You bit back a smile, darting him a look for exposing you. 
“Fine, then. I’ll be honest.” You surrendered, maybe Yoongi could convince you to jump off a cliff if he looked at you with those eyes. “I left it when I was finishing high school, I was about to leave for college and… I had to grow up, you know? I grew too attached to this place but I knew I couldn’t cling onto these things forever.”
“Can’t you?” He questioned “Didn’t you like to do it?”
“I mean, yes, but-”
“Then, why drop it?” He interrupted.
You breathed in, wishing that you could find the words to say it in a way that made sense, because you weren’t sure what was right or wrong anymore. 
“Maybe I was on an ego trip back then, I don’t know.” You admitted. “I thought I was genuinely good but I couldn’t do anything about it, like I was stuck here. I had to let it go, for me it’s all or nothing.”
Perhaps you weren’t talking only about theater now. Perhaps you were talking about everything, perhaps you were talking about him. And it was a bit harsh, but it was the truth, or what you decided to be the truth.  Yoongi took one hard look at you, as if he was expecting you to realize how dumb that sounded, but you already knew that, otherwise you wouldn’t be there right now, at home before Christmas because you dropped out of college. You didn’t even know if when you left for college that excuse made sense, you just knew that you were bitter and angry and if you couldn't follow your dreams, you didn’t want them at all. And if you couldn’t be with Yoongi, you couldn’t see him at all. 
You ripped the bandaid off, but three years later it exploded in your face.
“All or nothing?” He repeated, but you just nodded. “But did you try first? Because as far as I know you didn’t.”
You bitterly laughed,“Yeah, right” You got up from your seat, ready to leave “And who would’ve taken me seriously?”
He got up with you, blocking the way to stop you from getting out from the sea of chairs just yet. You raised your chin, finding his eyes. “I would have.” He casually mumbled, but his words echoed in your head, clenching your heart. 
You tried to search in your brain for something snarky to say, but you froze under his gaze. “And If I wouldn’t have…” He continued “If I were a complete prick who doesn’t care about you, you should’ve done it anyway. Even if your mom puts on a bad face.”
You wanted to stop him, to shut him up. But he was right, even if you didn’t need to hear that tonight. You loved your mom and you knew she didn’t expect anything from you but to be happy, she was just worried, you knew that, but you hated that she had to see you trip with your own decisions. 
“Have you ever tried to be wrong?” You asked him, pushing his chest with your palms. “Like, just once?” Walking past him, hearing his laugh behind you followed by his quick steps running after you. 
“Don’t be mad ‘cause I’m right.” He teased. 
“I’m not mad.” You said, walking towards the entrance, hearing music coming from the other room. “Just annoyed that you had to go to college and left me here making dumb decisions.” 
He smiled, happy that you decided to show a glimpse of love for him. “Do I need to remind you that you’re just twenty one and your life is not over?”
“Yes, maybe.” You said “Several times a day, please.”
You stood in the hall, attempting to put your coat back on, but he stopped you, stealing the piece of clothing away from you. “What are you doing?” He asked, smiling. “Don’t you know that we have to dance now?”
You widely opened your eyes, almost completely forgetting that. When you bought the tickets for movie nights, you were also invited to the afterparty that was held right after the movie ended, hence the loud music playing in the next room, the biggest one of the place. You didn’t think Yoongi would be interested in staying. 
“Do you want to dance?” You checked first. You didn’t know if you were interested in staying either. 
“C’mon, I have plenty of experience from frat parties.” He bragged, taking a few steps back towards the room where the music came from. 
You shook your head. “This isn’t like those parties you went to with Simon where they play Shape Of You every three songs” 
“Why would it be different?” He said, slightly offended. Yoongi kinda liked Shape Of You…  
You grabbed his hand, dragging him into the next room as you asked him something very important, “Yoongi, do you know who The Strokes are?”
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After entering the room, Yoongi disappeared for a few moments to leave your coats in the cloakroom of the place, leaving you alone to collect your thoughts once again. When you first entered the place to watch the movie you couldn’t wait to leave, and now you were in a dark room under the red lights, feeling excited at the idea of dancing like you were a teenager again. It was time for you to understand that your life was already a mess, nothing was going to change if you stayed at The Alley dancing just for tonight.
When Yoongi came back you were quick to drag him towards the center of the dancefloor, right when the first chords of Last Nite by the Strokes began to resonate in the room, you couldn’t help but feel a rush of happiness running down your body. Yoongi looked at you funny, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows. He didn’t expect that you, of all people, would be excited to dance. 
It turned out that Yoongi didn’t live under a rock, he did know who The Strokes were, but barely. You knew that he always preferred hip hop and rap, but the lack of interest he had for other genres surprised you. “I don’t know the song!” He shouted over the music 
“What about it?” You said, grabbing his hands to pull him closer. “You must dance anyway, or they’ll kick you out!”
The look of terror in Yoongi’s eyes made you laugh, but you didn’t pity him, he was the one who wanted to dance in the first place, even when both of you knew that he wasn’t the kind of person who dance at parties, he wasn’t the kind of person who danced at all. 
“How!?” He asked, ignoring the mass of people jumping around him. 
“Just do what I do!” You exclaimed, shaking your head side to side to the rhythm, making the strands of your hair hit your face, and his face too. Yoongi laughed, knowing then that if he didn’t dance he would look like an absolute loser. He was still hesitant to follow you, but when you began to jump, he slowly began to jump too, trying hard to shake his head the same way you were doing as he felt his ribcage shake from his laughter. 
You nodded your head, happily tapping your feet against the ground to the loud rhythm of the drums “Oh, baby I feel so down, oh, it turn’ me off” You sang to him, but he shook his head, disappointed that he didn’t know the lyrics and couldn’t sing the words back to you, but you didn’t care, you were happy enough watching him trying to copy your moves. 
You grabbed his hands, perhaps taking advantage of the situation to tangle his fingers with you, opening your arms with your hands still connected to his, shortening the distance. “I’m not a good dancer either.” You said, maybe way too close to his face. 
Yoongi scrunched his nose, giving you a half twirl to make your back crush against his chest, trapping you between his arms. “Are you saying I’m not a good dancer?” You felt his lips brushing against your cheek, making you shiver. 
You closed your eyes shut, trying to breathe in. “Not all!” You yelled, spinning out of his arms. “But no one’s watching.”
He took the liberty to slide his hands down your torso, gripping your waist and pulling you close to his body. “You are watching.” He said, like he was reminding you. 
“Then, impress me.” 
You were thankful that the sound of the music drowned the sound of your heart, who was threatening to run away from your chest in the exact moment he smiled at you, accepting the challenge. 
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You couldn’t count the amount of times Yoongi made you spin in the room, like you were dancing a waltz, before you realized that neither of you were wearing clothes made for dancing, you were wearing a black long sleeve shirt and Yoongi was wearing that ridiculous white dress shirt that made him look like he came out of one of your dreams when he rolled up his sleeves.  As one song ended and another one started, he began to stop caring if he didn’t know the lyrics, it was fine as long as he followed you, but when your hands began to felt sweaty and you felt like you needed air, you decided it was time to leave, but not before you finished dancing Song 2 by Blur, because what other chance would you have to dance Song 2 by Blur with Yoongi? And what other chance would you have to watch him copy every move you made like you were an expert at dancing? And what other chance would you have to be alone with him without feeling like your heart was sinking? It was like the loud music didn’t allow you to feel anything else but joy, or maybe you were already high from all the people smoking weed around you, either way, you were happy. 
You didn’t want to began feeling overwhelmed, the most exciting thing that happened today, before Yoongi, was finding out that your mom’s boyfriend gave her a teddy bear that sang All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey when you pressed its paw, you could blame —or just thank him— for taking you out of your house. Your heart didn’t feel as heavy as it did at the beginning of the night, but you knew it was time to leave. 
As he waited at the door, you decided to look for your coats. There was a line of people waiting to leave theirs, when you were just trying to leave the place. You expected to get in line, wait a maximum of five minutes and then leave, but right at the end of the line you found, of course, Minnie, because it couldn’t be any other way. 
She was alone, holding two purses and a big puffer jacket that was probably not hers. As soon as you stood behind her, she turned around, clearly she wasn’t expecting to see you again. “Oh, hi again!” She greeted you with the same big white smile you saw earlier tonight. “I had to leave when the movie ended, but I wanted to talk to you, where’s your boyfriend?”
You sighed, not wanting to remember what she said to Yoongi. “He’s not my boyfriend, Minnie.” You said. “He’s just… Yoongi.”
“Just Yoongi, huh?” She raised her eyebrows, pursing her lips. “What are you doing on a date with Just Yoongi?”
“It’s not a date, he just invited me to watch the movie.” You tried to explain, but she wasn’t convinced. 
“Sounds like a date to me.” She giggled, completely ignoring what you said. “I remember when you were like fifteen and cried because he kissed some ugly girl at the New Year’s party, and now you’re on a date!” 
You shook your head, you didn't dare to acknowledge what she said. The memory of that night made you cringe, you remembered running to Minnie and telling everything about it while sobbing like somebody just died. She hugged you and told you that she was sure the girl was super ugly, which wasn’t the truth at all, but it was the version she decided to keep. 
“But it’s not a date.” You reminded her.
“If you say so…” She winked at you, taking a step forward to advance in the line. “But anyway! Weren’t you still in college?” 
Perhapsit was the rush of the dopamine in your body, or the fact that she spoke to you as if not a day had passed since the last time she saw you, but you told her the truth. 
“Well, I’m supposed to be in college.” You said, “But I dropped out recently.” 
“Oh, thank God.” She suddenly let out, almost by accident. You looked at her, amused that she dared to say that. “I mean, don’t get me wrong!” She rushed to say “It’s just, you know, it was about time for you to realize.” 
You smiled, feeling your chest getting warm. When you told people you dropped out of college, most of the time they looked worried, like you made a mistake, but Minnie looked relieved, and that made you feel like it wasn’t such a horrible decision. 
“I know, don’t remind me.” You huffed, looking at your feet. 
“I can't help but do it.” She said, crossing her arms over her chest, thinking “I always thought I was going to see you on a big screen someday, I was disappointed when you left for college.”
How cheesy, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t, not when she was the one who believed in you in ways you never did. 
“Well, I’m out of there now.” You just said. 
“So, if you’re not in college and you’re not doing theater, what are you doing?”
You scoffed, feeling like you just got scolded “Rotting in bed until Christmas, I guess.”
“Okay, I can respect that, but what about after the holidays?” She continued to ask. 
You shrugged, “I have to figure that out yet.”
“So… About what I was telling you before the movie started…”
“Yeah, I mean, about that…” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to cut your sentence.
“Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say, you’re out the theater stuff too, I know.” She said, waving her hands in front of your face so you wouldn’t keep talking. “But I’ve got this friend in the city who’s a director, he is working on this project and is looking for a main character, I don’t know, for some reason it reminded me of you. And now you’re here, so it has to mean something, right?”
You furrowed your eyebrows “Why would it remind you of me?” You inquired. “We haven’t seen each other in years.”
“Crazy, isn’t it?” She laughed, “He pitched to me, it’s some gothic dramatic love story, he wanted to know if I knew of someone.”
Was this some kind of joke? You, realizing that you were never happy in college, coming back home, coming back to the theater where you used to dream to step on a stage someday, or Yoongi telling you all that stuff about not even trying to make your dreams come true, and now this? Something inside you moved, you didn’t know what, but you did know why you were home after all. You told Yoongi about this in your garage the other day, you dropped out of college for a reason, you weren’t built to have a nine to five job, but you also weren’t sure what is what you wanted.
You looked at Minnie like you were sorry to turn down her proposal “Minnie, I haven’t been on a play in years.” You told her, already anticipating the rejection of her offer.
“I know that, but I’ve always trusted your talent, otherwise I wouldn’t be talking about this.” She replied “Look, I’m not asking you to say yes right now, but if you want to know more you can give me your new number.” You kept quiet for a few seconds. Not knowing what to say, you began to nervously laugh, that sounded crazy to you. “C’mon, don’t laugh! If it's of any use, it's a very well paid job.”
Now you began to laugh for real. “What do you mean it's a very well paid job?” You asked, not believing her for one second. Most plays you used to be part of during your high school days never left a dime. 
“It is!” She insisted “You don’t know my friend, he has rich parents, he doesn't do things for the love of art. I mean, he likes theater, but he also likes money.”
Well, that could’ve made you change your mind right away a four years ago, but still, a few hours ago you came to this place counting the seconds to leave, now you were debating if you should accept a job offer. You shook your head, realizing that the line moved far enough, it was Minnie’s turn to leave her coat. 
She took a few seconds and then it was your turn. You quickly asked for Yoongi’s jacket and your coat and when you turned around, Minnie was still there, not willing to give up. 
“What do I have to do to convince you to at least give me your new number?” She pleaded, looking for something in her mini bag. You observed her pulling a lighter and a joint and putting it between her lips to light it up. 
“What are you willing to do?” You joked, or not. 
“What do you have in mind?” Well, she knew you. 
“I have an idea…” You insinuated, pointing at the joint. 
She let out a cloud of smoke out of her mouth, suddenly frowning. “Really?” She said, trying not to sound annoyed, you nodded your head several times, almost excited.  “You can’t be asking for the whole joint.”
“But I am.”
Minnie shook her head in denial. “I can let you smoke it once, I’m not giving it to you.” She offered instead, but you wanted to make it worth it. If you were going to even consider accepting the job, if you were going to even think about something like theater again, you wanted at least something in return. 
“I’m giving you half my number, then.” You said “Try to guess the other half.” 
She narrowed her eyes, hesitating. Your old friend knew that you weren’t joking at all, and for some reason she really wanted you to consider her offer. You knew you won when she rolled her eyes, giving in. “You never stopped being a little bitch, have you?” She hissed, reluctantly handed you the joint. You happily accepted, taking a long drag before it went out. Minnie sighed, sadly watching her perfectly rolled joint in the hands of someone else. “So? Your new number?”
A devilish smirk appeared in your face as you began to walk backwards, taking long steps towards the entrance as you enjoyed the confused expression on Minnie’s face. “I never changed my number.” You confessed. 
Minnie’s mouth hung open in disbelief, but she made sure that the last thing you saw from her that night was her middle finger up, directed towards you. 
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It’s been a long time since you outright refused to feel something remotely close to nostalgia, to live evoking memories, to think that a fleeting good moment could make up for all the bad ones, but it was impossible not to. Instead, you were condemned to live wondering what it would be like to come back home someday and not feel this way, to come to The Alley and not feel like you left a part of you there, to look at Yoongi and not feel like you were going to miss him all your life. 
And tonight wasn’t an exception, because when you came back to Yoongi and he offered what seemed to be the warmest smile in the coldest of winters, you knew it might haunt you forever. 
But maybe, just for tonight, you didn’t care. 
“Why are you making that face?” Yoongi asked, raising a brow as he grabbed his jacket from your hands. 
“What face?” You asked back, innocently keeping your hands behind your back.
He opened his mouth to explain what he meant, but then shut it again, staying silent for a minute as he inspected your face. “Did you just… smoke weed?” He laughed, probably already smelling it. 
A smile appeared on your face as you showed him your right hand. Yoongi observed the joint between your thumb and index finger, and wondering where you got that, he tried to take it from your hands. 
You took a step back, moving your arm away from him so he wouldn’t steal it. “What? Is this not legal?” You chuckled.
“Who gave you that?” He asked, grabbing your wrist, but you raised your arm higher. 
“Are you interrogating me?” You kept teasing him, fighting his hold. “I’m sorry Mr. Min, but I’m not a snitch.” 
Yoongi let go of your wrist, quickly giving up. “Are you not sharing?” He asked, a little disappointed. 
“I don’t know.” You pointed your finger at your chin, pretending to think about it “Are you allowed?” 
You walked past him, heading towards the entrance to exit the place. “You’re so annoying.” You heard him say, already knowing he was following you.
Both of you knew that the night was coming to an end, as soon as you stepped foot on the street you could smell the dew on the grass and hear how loud were your footsteps on the empty street. You looked at him through your lashes, observing him lighting up the joint between your lips as with a lighter he found in his pockets. You held the smoke inside your mouth for a few seconds before blowing it on his face, but he just laughed, stealing from your lips. 
You wondered what else you could do to make him stay a bit longer. 
He crossed the desolate street, grabbing your hand to drag you into the poorly illuminated park. It was really cold and you could see your cold breath in the air. Everyone else in the world seemed to agree that it was time to sleep, but you didn’t dare to complain as he decided to take the long way home. 
“How do you know when you’re high?” He curiously asked, eyes locking up with yours as he took another draw. 
It was easy for you to tell, you could get high with only one puff. “I have this thing, I test if my teeth are heavy.” You told him, expecting him to understand right away. 
He laughed, confused. “What do you mean?” 
“Look, if you clench your jaw you can tell that your teeth touch each other.” You explained. Yoongi stopped dead in his tracks, standing in front of you to test it himself. “I know that I’m high when my top teeth are feeling heavy.”
Yoongi snorted, keeping his mouth closed to test it himself. “I don’t know if mine are heavy.” He said “Are yours?”
You already knew you’re high, but you tested it regardless. Closing your mouth, you pressed your teeth together to know “Yes, they are.” You laughed, feeling dizzy. “How do you know?”
It wasn’t the first time you saw Yoongi high, you remembered that time, you were woken up at three in the morning when your brother dragged him into your house after their graduation party because he smoked too much, and Yoongi’s mom couldn’t find out that her son almost died because he didn't know how to use a bong. 
It was the first time that he made Simon look like the responsible friend. Yoongi was seeing shadows before leaving the party and when he arrived at your home was calmer, but still high. He was strangely afraid of going upstairs, so the three of you stayed in the living room watching very low quality episodes of Pinky and The Brain on YouTube. Simon let you stay under the condition of not telling your mom about Yoongi having a bad trip, so you did. The memory of Yoongi laughing at the screen and eating the cake your mom bought to celebrate was still very engraved in your mind.
This version was very different. Yoongi’s hooded eyes were crystallized and there was an awkward smile plastered on his face that wasn’t going away. You could tell he was high in the way he was walking, and especially in the way he was still holding your hand.
The silence lingered in the air for a second. He pressed his lips together, scanning your face. “I know I’m high when it’s hard for me to tell if I’m looking at one thing or the whole picture.” He tried to explain “Like, I can’t focus on more than one thing at once.”
Somehow, you understood. “What are you looking at right now?”
In that moment, Yoongi seemed to be asking himself that very same question in his head, but he already knew the answer. 
 “Your mouth.” He replied innocently.
Someone in the very back of your mind started to wave a big red flag, but on the surface, where an intoxicated version of yourself was laying under the moonlight, you could only laugh. 
“Isn’t it a bit distracting?” You asked him, pulling him forward so he would start walking towards the exit of the park. 
“Yes, very.” he guaranteed “But I don’t mind.”
Yoongi followed you out of the park, and in a team of two you remembered the way to your home. It was like both of your brains had turned off, the conversation didn’t have to mean anything, you didn’t have to wonder why he was there with you at all. 
The clock on your phone said that it was three in the morning, but in your mind time had stopped forever, or at least until next morning. When you turned the corner and reached the end of the street, you knew it was time to say goodbye. But what if you didn’t want to?
You struggled to find your keys, maybe because you were high or maybe because you just didn’t want to remember where the keys were. And when you had to open the door, you leaned against the door frame to say your last words. 
You looked at him with hooded eyes, his pink lips were slightly parted, like they were about to say something but they didn’t. In the haze of the moment you thought it looked just like an invitation to kiss him, but of course you wouldn’t. Of course you couldn’t. 
What you could do, instead, was prevent him from leaving, at least for a while. Was that allowed? You weren’t in your right mind to answer that question. 
You sighed, sleepy, touching the collar of his shirt. “I can’t let you go home like this.” You let out, faster than you could think. 
Yoongi scrunched his nose. ���It’s fine, it’s just a few blocks away.” He waved off your concern, but his feet were dug deeply on the wood floor of your porch. 
“It’s not a few blocks away.” You argued “You live like ten blocks away, and you’re still high…”
“I can manage.” He smirked, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear like it was nothing. 
“C’mon, you can stay.” You offered. “My bed is big enough for both of us.”
Your voice came as a whisper, but your words are clearly heard by Yoongi. He scoffed, causing you to start laughing “I didn’t mean that.” You blurted out. trying to correct yourself, but he was already laughing at you. 
“What did you mean?” He was curious. 
You lightly punched his shoulder. “I meant that… You can stay.” You repeated “Besides… There’s still Simon’s old clothes you can wear to sleep.” 
He raised his eyebrows, getting closer to your face, or not, you weren’t sure. 
“What would your mom say?” He mumbled, still in denial. 
“What?” You chuckled “I’ll tell her the truth. I’ll just say you were too drunk to come back home.”
“That’s not the truth.” He said, booping your nose, but you could barely feel the coldness of his touch. 
“Do I really have to tell her that we were high?” You wondered, booping his nose back. 
Yoongi smiled, knowing you were right. “I guess not.” He admitted. 
“So?” You dared to insist.
“I’ll stay…” He said, putting a finger up. “Under one condition…”
“You want me to tuck you in bed?” You said, laughing at your own joke like it was the funniest thing you had ever said. 
Yoongi snorted, covering your mouth with his hand so you wouldn’t keep making loud noises. “No, not that.” He shook his head. “You have to make me breakfast.”
You bit the palm of his hand, making him pull away with a groan. “Is that what your life is worth?” You teased “Breakfast?”
“I’m not gonna die walking ten blocks.”
“What if you enter a bad trip?” You joked “The streets are scary when it’s dark.”
“C’mon, don’t talk about bad trips.” He closed his eyes shut, like he was trying to picture flowers and kittens so he wouldn’t think of something bad. 
“God, Yoongi. Are you staying or not?” 
He sighed, opening his eyes to display his characteristic gummy smile. “Fine Pinky.” He gave in, “Show me how big your bed is.” 
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taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopeefulchick @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @lizzm98 @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804
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blu-ish · 4 months
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Just finished reading and gosh I love this so much. (lemme write an essay about it lol)
LONG ASS POST HSJHSJSH
She is so testing Sonic, using his own morals-- his own PROMISES against him. Because if Sonic says she and Kit can have a second, even third chance... everyone's gonna follow along because he's Sonic. If I was the villain I would use that against the hero too.
He's just gonna end up bringing everyone down with him BECAUSE he believes, because he thinks its the right thing to do.
But here's the thing, he knows its complete bullshit, I 100% got that vibe. He understands somethings up, that it's too easy, hell after experiencing Surge's meltdown while trying to drown him while electrocuting him, there's no way that didn't leave an impression on Sonic about her. (along with a few internal burns lmao)
It's the same thing with the whole Mr. Tinker (Eggman) incident, sure he really DID lose his memory, but Sonic AGAIN forces his ideals and morals onto everyone else for the sake of believing he could turn it around, and his actions affect everyone. (Gawd, Sonic and his problematic savior complex coming to bite him in the ass hsjhsjs it's so good im sorry)
He refuses to change that "second chance" mindset. He's not changing it because of ONE or even TWO bad times that it didn't work out in his favor. Even when they break his trust.
And Surge HATES it, she hates how stupid and naive Sonic is for believing all that, so she's gonna use it against him. To make him a hypocrite, to prove he isn't Mr. Perfect.
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Sonic continually emphasizes how some of his friends tried to kill/waste him once or twice before, just to prove his point. But here's the thing, sure Sonic had some role in how they changed but most of that CHANGE was made by THEM not HIM. He can't force them to change, they did that on their own.
Knuckles realized he was being tricked, so he CHOSE to help Sonic and Tails. (He is the guardian of the master emerald after all, that's his JOB, he wasn't just beating Sonic up for the hell of it.)
Shadow's memory was altered, he was grieving, a traumatized kid who was just dealing with Eggman so he could watch the planet explode even if he went down with it. But he wasn't doing it for the hell of it either, he did it BECAUSE he thought his dead sister WANTED him too, to get revenge for her death. Shadow was always kind, he was kind to Rouge, Amy reminded him of Maria, Sonic was there to SHOW him he had a choice, to remind him the world was worth saving, instead of destroying it. EVERYONE helped, not just Sonic. Shadow CHOSE that. (even if he eventually FORGOT thanks SEGA lol)
Surge doesn't have that, she doesn't have the genuine motive to change and I don't think she ever will. (or that she necessarily needs too but I could be wrong ofc) Kit is following her, because he was brainwashed into it yeah (So has Surge into hating Sonic), but that's all said and done, its not "reversable" that's their genuine feelings now-- as awful and terrible as it was for Starline to do that to two freakin kids.
Now she want's to know where she came from, she wants to know the truth, and she's again, following someone's orders to do so. But that's HER choice, she doesn't CARE if it affects others because she feels that no one cares enough about her or Kit to find them after they lost themselves anyways.
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But her ultimate goal, is to prove Sonic WRONG, to END him and his "I can do no wrong/everyone likes me" attitude. I for one am hyped to see where they take this next.
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pseudophan · 2 months
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some post wad weekend thoughts...
i just wrote all this on the plane and haven't read it through so apologies for any mistakes
first of all, this weekend was incredible. i usually just kinda sit at home doing not much of anything, and this was a much needed break to actually have some fun. london in general always lifts my spirits but i suppose that danisnotonfire guy contributed a little as well.
guys i think i've met more people the past few days than i otherwise have in years. like. holy shit. i started listing people but i'm petrified i'll forget someone so i chickened out, sorry about that. but you all know who you are. i've met friends i've had for years, people i used to know but haven't spoken to in what feels like a decade, newer friends, and a frankly baffling amount of people i didn't know yet but who told me they've followed me for ages. like holy fuck you guys lmao what the hell??? and i mean did the reaction ever get old no of course it didn't. bad for my ego i'm sure but totally worth it. there's something very amusing and incredibly surreal about being chronically lame in most aspects of life and then suddenly finding yourself in an environment where you're kinda cool???? SO fucking fun oh my god, but also i do kinda feel like i've tricked you all? but hey i'll happily let you keep believing i'm cool, that is more than fine with me.
most importantly though everyone was SO lovely. like i said i don't think i've spoken to this many people in such a short amount of time in years and every single person i talked to was awesome. guys did you know phannies are kind of great... don't tell anyone but, lowkey... everyone is so funny and cool and absolutely insane but in a good way (shoutout everyone left at the gates until the very end, we should probably get some help).
and then lastly of course, mr howell himself. i talk about this a lot i feel like but fuck me that man was born to perform. whether you think he's actually funny or not, nobody can argue he doesn't absolutely thrive on a stage. he plays off the audience so well and he's so very obviously having the time of his fucking life. i'd already seen the show twice before this, and i didn't think anything would top the previous london show but man... the first night he came back out after the show having clearly been tearing up backstage, apologising for being an inconsistent absent parent, and i can't lie the "i had daddy issues and THEN i subscribed to dan howell" got me cause yeah no literally dude, you nailed it, exactly, well done. i think something about doing this show again, his magnum opus as he considers it, now after the dapg return was very special to him. he seems genuinely surprised that so many of us were ready to just jump back in like nothing happened, i don't think he was expecting so many people to still be waiting and it's... man. he comes off so grateful for us all and it's so fucking sweet. and then on the last night, i think that was my favourite, when the show ended and he got the standing ovation and people throwing him flowers.. he was so HAPPY. and clearly overwhelmed with emotion which, i gotta say, there is something honestly kinda funny about daniel howell standing in front of you trying not to cry. like no by all means dude go ahead, please, you've made me cry an endless amount of times it's only fair.
ugh. i'm proud of him or whatever. dick. and i'm proud of our ridiculous fucking community. i'm not sure what 14 year old nora would say if you'd told me i'd still be kicking it in the phandom a decade on, but at almost 25 (fml) i'm so so happy to be here still. you know, we get a bad rep, but i genuinely think as far as fanbases go we're pretty solid. and i love you all so much.
i believe i will have to rob a bank or something because the next time dan and/or phil do a tour i think i'll have to just show up at every date like i'm sorry but this was too good of a high we need to do it again immediately
anyway. back to work 💪
(by which i mean giffing dan and phil. i am still very much unemployed. fr though i'm two whole videos behind this has never happened i feel weird. who am i)
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jung-shook-iieee · 1 year
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Hot Wheels | KNJ
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➳Pairings: idol Namjoon x reader (f)
➳ rating: M ( obviously minors dni!)
➳ genre: idol verse, relationship au.
➳ warnings: namjoon is filthy hot here, super angry dom, sexy namjoon, use of degrading words, humiliation, teasing, y/n was literally walking on thin ice, until joonie breaks it, super meany joon, mmhh y/n playing with herself ( does that count as masturbation? Becoz joonie didn't let her finish?) Risky, joon was live y'all, Armies being very suspicious lol, joon flashes his bulge * mistakenly, joon cursing on live??????? and super dirty talking. ( I dunno what to add more lmao.)
➳ summary: teasing namjoon when he goes live could never get you in serious trouble, right?
➳ word count: 1.6k
➳ a/n: I actually..... Can someone just tell me what in the world do i have to do to get fucked by joon? I mean seriously... I can not take this anymore. I'm going FERAL for him. Xxxxxxxxxxxx
➳ a/n2: I live for mean joonie, I just can not stop myself from writing this. And I have no shame. No regrets. Do reblog tho, if you like it. Feedbacks are always welcomed. &lt;333
" Don't you dare baby, stay like this kay? Don't make this hard for both of us. I'll be quick. " Namjoon wrapped his muscular and veiny hand around your neck to keep you still. You've been a very bad, bad girl according to him, but you knew what you were doing.
It will easily piss Namjoon off, But you can't help it, can you?  you love to see when he struggled.......Struggled because of you, it was rare tho. It's always the other way around, you struggling for him and him being a sadist enjoyed your misery every single time.
So even if he punished you afterwards, you will willingly take your punishments. You totally loved the messier and clumsier side of him, usually Kim Namjoon carried himself as a wolf. Strong, powerful, and dominant but behind those cameras and people he's the clumsiest person you've ever seen.
Tease him about his mistakes and he will not think twice before railing you against the nearest wall so you could remember your place.
He loves you of course he does, but he loves you even more when you cry for him, from the pleasures he gives you. When you beg, squirm and cum for him.
So when he told you he is going live for armies and asked you to behave you don't why but your inner bitch told you other wise.
When he was setting up the things for his live , you simply stood up and walked towards the cupboard, the lower section was filled with different toys. You took out a simple black mini rabbit vibrator.
Namjoon didn't looked at you he was busy in his live by now. You walked back, discarded your clothes and threw your bra at his feet, which made him look at you.
He was speechless, he clearly told you to not make any sounds and here you were throwing your bra at him. Irony. He looked back at the tab and ignored your presence completely.
You started playing with yourself. You massaged your breast slowly, taking all the time in the world making yourself ready to play with, fondling your perky breast, twisting and pinching your soft nipples. You sensually snaked your hands on your stomach then slowly you reached at your lower part.
You were a dripping mess, so wet just by the mere thought of seducing Namjoon while he was on air, interacting with millions of armies.
Namjoon could see what you were doing, it was driving him crazy. He loved when you act as a brat, a bold person in front of him. Because after that he could punishment you all like he wants.
You turned around, ass in air and pussy all spread out for him to watch. The mini vibrator caused the shaking of your legs, namjoon sweared at the sight. You looked so tempting, so inviting like a sex goddess indeed.
He forced himself to tear his graze from you and focus on the live, sure by now all people would be curious and he knew that.
He just couldn't help himself but grab his aching bulge between his legs. You really made his cock rock hard, he was struggling keeping his posture straight.
He drank water frequently, paused while giving answers and he just sweared on live. What else can he do to get more troubles?
" Is someone with you oppa? " Namjoon repeated a comment and narrowed his eyes then replied, " Ohh aniyo... It's just the... Curtains. Haha. They keep disturbing me. " He struggled answering their question, which only made your lips twitch upward slightly and you turned around and pulled out the toy which was deep inside you.
You stood up and took out a hitachi wand from your cupboard. Namjoon bought it for you as a gift. You still remember the first time he used that thing on you, the orgasms from this thing were  really strong and powerful.
You switched on the toy and placed the settings at one.
The vibrations were killing you, if you continued longer you didn't know if you would be able to keep your moans suppressed. You muffled your moans by placing your small hand above your mouth.
It was really tough for Namjoon to keep his sanity intact. The mere sight of you was driving him crazy, your legs were wide spread, your boobs looked so soft, a toy was stimulating your throbbing clit , you were so wet he could easily see your slick all over your thighs and bedsheet.
You mouthed PLEASE asking him to fuck you, Namjoon forcefully dragged his eyes from you to the tab he pretended like he's interested in the live but no he wasn't. All of his attention was on you now, you did got his attention.
It was getting impossible for him to remain collected so he asked, " Just a second people I'll be back, I need to use restroom hehe. I'll be quick. " And he muted his live, he forgot that the people might see his aching big buldge but he do not give two fucks about that now.
When he marched towards you, to say you were scared will be a understatement. His jaw was clenched and he fisted his hands. You quickly closed your legs and tried to sit up but he dragged you up by your neck, " What do you think you're doing huh?" That voice. That fucking voice sent chills down your spine, you Whimpered from the way he was squeezing your neck tight, cutting the supply of air.
" Do you FUCKING THINK this shit is FUNNY huh?? " He whispered yelled and slammed your head against the headboard and slapped your wet cunt, throwing the expensive wand on floor, making you whimper.
" Don't... Don't fucking close your legs on me now baby, you were spreading your legs like a whore just a minute ago. " He whispered in your ear, his voice could easily make you cum let his hands and dick alone.
" M'sorr-yyyy joon" You gasped sang, barely audible but he heard you, " Now, now, now don't say that okay? I know your not FUCKING SORRY." You but your lower lips knowingly, you knew this was coming, you asked for it. Actually no you begged for it so you can do nothing but to take his punishments like a big girl.
He stuffed his big and thick fingers inside your little cunt making you arch your back and he rammed his fingers so fast and deep inside you making you out of breath.
He pulled away after a minute or two, he needs to get back to the live and may be end it properly. You quickly held his hands and dragged his fingers on your needy cunt for more but he pulled away his hands " Don't you dare baby, stay like this kay? Don't make this hard for both of us. I'll be quick. " Namjoon wrapped his muscular and veiny hand around your neck to keep you still. You only nodded and waited for him.
You obeyed him because you don't want to piss him any more, you knew after this he would be leaving you with a numb and sore pussy anyway.
He sucked his fingers clean, closed his eyes tasting your essence. He growled, you tasted so good he just couldn't wait. You immediately shut your legs close feeling more wet at his lewd action.
He adjusted his crotch and went back on his chair. He unmuted the live and again started answering their questions and laughing with them.
They did asked questions because they were suspicious but he made excuses and cleared there doubts. After 5-10 mins he bid goodbye and turned off the tab.
He closed his eyes, and sighed. You could see how tense he was, the fear of getting caught by army was exciting but scary also. It could've lead him to some serious trouble.
He opened his eyes and looked at you, silently. His breath was slow, his dragon eyes covered in lust and anger. He looked so intimidating to you. You were scared, so scared. Neither you nor he was speaking anything but his gaze was sending you over the edge. You stared at your legs, you just couldn't look at him in his eyes.
Your breath hitched when he stood up and started taking slow steps towards you, you didn't dared to raise your eyes but you could feel him standing next to you.
He grabbed your jaw harshly making you whimper, " Explain. " He demanded. You couldn't speak the words out from your mouth. His grip was becoming harsher.
" Pl-easeee-" , " Please what?? Huh? Did I fucking stuttered baby? Or did I gave you the permission to touch yourself? Or to touch the toys? " He questioned but you were in a deep haze from the pain and pleasure that you couldn't make yourself to speak.
" You're just a dumb whore right? You can't speak unless I force you? " He was speaking with so much anger and authority that even his degradation was sending direct waves of pleasure to your core.
He took off his sweatshirt and his chest looked so good, so tempting . Your palms were itching to  touch him you slowly raised your hands towards him but he gripped it harshly making you groan in displeasure," After the stunt you've pulled y/n do you think I'm letting you touch me.?" The tone of his voice was cold, like a warning to you, bet any other person would run away but you, you begged him to treat you this way.
he stood beside you with his naked broad chest. The pecs really looked yummy tho, namjoon's muscles only got thicker after he started doing gym.
He climbed up in the bed, stood on his knees and spoke in your ears, " You really put me in a bad position today baby, now I'll exactly give you what you've been craving for. "
Well, you couldn't deny him can you!? You just gotta take what he gives.
...........................................................................................................
Masterlist.
@yellabella77 @screamertannie @sweetwolfcupcake @bri-mal @hoseokteardrop @kooookie @favfanfictsbts @ciennnthia @yopjm @sunny-favs @heyyymin
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tryingtofindava · 5 months
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𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐞𝐟𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄
: ̗̀➛Back to source
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Most definitely broke into your apartment with full hostile intentions of ‘putting you to sleep.’
Lmao
That didn’t happen.
When he broke in, you were so chill about it. Like- most people would be screaming n’ crying right about now.
He almost got convinced that it was a normal thing for you, murderers breaking into your apartment.
You sprayed Febreze in his eyes and he left.
Anywho, he can’t explain the exact reason why he’s became so interested in you.
You were just different.
But like, not in the ‘IM SO DIFFERENT’ way.
But don’t be too glad he let you live.
Bcs I swear this mf be following you about. Picking apart your entire being to see if you’re worth sparing. Which you were!!
You two most definitely started out with just being friends, he’s living with you rent free basically.
You fell first, he fell harder sorta thing going on.
When you two actually started dating. He was obsessed with you. Literally.
You gave him a key to your apartment so he didn’t have to use the window anymore.
That didn’t stop him. He still just uses your bedroom window.
Don’t question him about it though, he’s odd.
Won’t ever admit it, but he LOVES when you play with his hair.
Speaking of hair, if you have a pony tail in. He will 100% pull on it. GENTLY OFC!! He only tugs your hair hard when you’re sucking his-
Anywho.
He also likes scaring you out of nowhere. So be careful when you think you’re alone, you’re probably not.
He makes it very, very clear that you’re his. Tbh he thinks he has some sorta ownership over you.
His mouth scars are like, so, so infected. Every time they start to heal again he recuts them. So the chances are he probably leaves you to clean them.
This edge lord is a ass guy.
Like he slaps your ass randomly and if you even show any signs of annoyance, it makes him feel like he’s accomplished smth.
He’s got a god complex, make what you want with that information.
If he catches you staring OMD HE’LL GET SO COCKY.
“Like what you see, doll?”
You’ll never hear the end of it.
He’s not a big fan and of going out during the day he’s a nighttime type of dude, or in overly crowded or noisy places since he’s easily irritated, so dates aren’t really on the table for him.
And he’s not very normal looking… at least he’s hot.
But he’ll get you stuff! (he probably stole it.)
But it’s the thought that counts…!
He likes listening to your heartbeat. He likes knowing you are alive. (Again, don’t ask he’s odd.)
Mf loves winding you up, teasing you, random light touches. Anything to get you going really.
But he’ll get so pissy if you do the same thing to him.
His skin is CRUSTY. teach him about the wonders of moisturiser. I beg you.
He will randomly get very emotional, comfort him. Or try to if he lets you get close to him.
One time you woke up to him just staring at you. That was pretty fucking creepy.
But not surprising.
I mean, this dude literally stalks you n’ shit. To make sure you’re okay :)
You give him the affection and validation he craves. He’ll do anything to make sure that you’re alright.
He can’t lose you.
Not yet.
He’s still a serial killer, so he probably ups and leaves for a few days and when he comes back he won’t tell you shit. (Even though it’s really painfully obvious what he’s been up to.)
The relationship is probably a bitty toxic. He’s probably gaslit you AT LEAST once or twice.
He’s an obsessive sadist.
When he wants something, he’s gonna get it.
The relationship is about him. Him and his needs.
He still loves you dearly. But not like the normal person. He has his… own ways of showing his love.
If you could even call it that.
But he’s not below killing you if he has to.
✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•
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