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lavenderlegends · 6 months

Note

Okay but "you can hear it in the silence" is DEREK "you are in love" HALE (I guess sterek lol)

you are in love

stiles/derek word count: 4.5k ships mentioned: boyd/erica, lydia/allison, kira/malia characters: stiles, derek, isaac, boyd, erica, lydia, kira, jackson, scott cw: drinking, weed, implied physical abuse, Stiles thinks he's in love with Erica lol

ao3

♞♚♞♚

"I don't really understand," Stiles complains, stretching his legs out across Erica's.

There's a beat. Derek's heart aches.

"What's there to understand?" Erica asks, putting her hands on Stiles' legs. She tugs them in closer to her. "I'm going to marry him one day."

"But first off, you don't talk to each other," Stiles says, shaking his head. "And secondly, Boyd doesn't talk. To anyone."

"He talks to me," Erica says, smugly. "Isn't that right, Derek?"

"Hm?" Derek says, as if he's absentmindedly paying attention and not studying the way Stiles' lips move. "Yeah. He does."

"Okay, well, whatever. I've seen him hanging around Lydia's ex, Jackson." Stiles frowns. "And you know Jackson is bad news."

"He's really not," Lydia mutters, not looking up from her phone.

Derek shifts on the grass. He wants to tune out of this pointless conversation. Everyone here knows that if Erica wants to marry Boyd, she'll probably do just that and marry the guy. But Stiles loves to imagine that Erica’s secretly in love with him and has been since high school. He finally got over Lydia only to get hung up on Erica.

Stiles just loves love, even if he pretends to hate it.

Derek knows this, and often wonders why Stiles can’t see what’s sitting right in front of him. Derek. The guy who has been in love with Stiles since they were about twelve years old. The guy who has never wavered in their friendship, even when Stiles makes it nearly impossible sometimes. The guy who showed up when Stiles’ mom was dying, and the guy who showed up when Danny turned him down for a ‘virginity pact’ and left Stiles crying in the locker room.

But no. Stiles doesn’t see Derek in that way, and that’s fine. It has to be fine. Derek would rather Stiles be in his life than out of it.

“C’mon, the guy cheated on you!” Stiles argues with Lydia now.

“He was going through a sexuality crisis! In high school!” Lydia counters. “If anything, Erica, you should be glad that Boyd has a friend like Jackson. He went from hating his queerness to running the college queer centre. He wouldn’t keep awful company.”

“That’s a great point, Lyds,” Erica says, beaming. She turns back to Stiles. “You’re just worried that Boyd won’t understand that I’m trans, and that he’ll break my heart like every other cis boy out there.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Erica. You’re, like, obsessing over this guy. And he doesn’t even talk!”

“He does too!” Erica gently shoves Stiles’ legs off her. “And if you don’t want to be a supportive friend, then the least you can do is shut up.”

Erica gives Lydia a look and silently, the two of them start packing their things.

“Wait, what just happened?” Stiles asks.

“You were an asshole,” Lydia tells him, her tone dry. Erica stands up and walks away without a word. Lydia pauses to add, “I know you’re all hung up on Erica right now, but maybe don’t bash the guy she likes. It’s not a good look.”

Then Lydia trails after Erica.

Stiles scoffs and looks at Derek. “Can you believe that?”

Derek shrugs. He’d rather not get caught in the middle. Besides, Boyd does talk. Derek’s sure Stiles rarely gives him a chance to, though. He picks at some of the grass, ripping it from the ground, and immediately feeling guilty about it.

“I don’t get women,” Stiles mutters. “What does she see in him?”

What do you see in Erica that you don’t see in me? Derek wants to ask but bites his tongue. Instead, he opts to quietly say, “Why don’t I walk you to your next class?”

Stiles studies Derek’s face, and he can’t help but wonder what Stiles is looking for. Instead of asking, Derek gets up from the courtyard grass and grabs his backpack. He holds out a hand to help Stiles up, and tries to ignore the way his body buzzes at the contact.

"You know, I'm starting to question whether I'm even meant for love," Stiles mutters. "Like maybe I'm just destined to be single for the rest of my life."

Derek snorts, because that's ridiculous.

"What?" Stiles asks, as they head towards the school doors. "I mean, Lydia has refused to look my way once. Not even a tiny little glance or a peek. She was all obsessed with Jackson, and then fell for Allison. And like, sure, they're a great couple, but... I'm always going to wonder what if?"

Derek doesn't respond, but simply holds the door open for him and trails beside him.

"And Erica... she was single all throughout high school, always complaining that no one was ever going to love her -"

"-sounds familiar," Derek teases.

Stiles doesn't hear him though. He keeps going. "And here I am, ready and willing to make our friendship more, and she's suddenly hung up on some guy who doesn't say a word."

Derek's lips part and shut. It's impossible to get him to hear anyone else when Stiles gets on a roll like this.

"And Boyd! Do you think he has any idea what a treasure Erica is? I bet not. I bet he doesn't even see her. And I do." Stiles pauses to glance at Derek. "You think Erica and I would be a good couple, right?"

Derek freezes.

"Yo, Stilinski! I heard you been talkin' shit about me!"

Thank god for Jackson, Derek thinks, as they both spin around to see him coming up the hall.

"I ran into Lydia and Erica. They're both furious with you," Jackson says, coming to a stop in front of them. He claps a hand on Stiles' shoulder. "I'd be pissed at you, but I think their wrath alone will be enough."

"Ha-ha," Stiles says, sarcastically. Then his face pales a little. "Oh shit, are they really mad?"

"Furious, dude," Jackson says. "I just said that."

"Fuck." Stiles hesitates before saying, "Okay. I'll apologize after class. I just..."

"Just what?" Jackson asks, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes. "Just talked shit about the guy that Erica's in love with?"

"Well, not exactly--"

"Just forgot your boundaries because you think you're destined to have met your soul mate in high school like your parents did?" Jackson continues. "You do realize that it doesn't always happen like that, right? And you don't have to jump from friend to friend saying you're in love like the boy who cried wolf."

"Well--"

"Food for thought," Jackson says, before gently shoving Stiles' shoulder. "I gotta get to class. But you better apologize before my party on Friday! I don't want any drama!"

"Su--sure," Stiles stammers, as if he doesn't know how to respond for once.

"Always nice to talk, Hale," Jackson says before jogging back the way he came.

"What is going on?" Stiles whines. "It's like no one wants me to be in love with Erica."

Derek glances at Stiles, and then has to look away. He could say, Maybe that's my fault. Maybe it's because everyone knows I'm desperately in love with you. Maybe it's because I've been waiting for you for so long now. But he says nothing.

Instead, he pretends to get a call and tells Stiles he'll catch up with him later.

Instead, he walks down the hall and fights the urge to look back.

Instead, he puts the phone back into his pocket without even an attempt at a fake phone call.

Some days, being in love with your best friend is too much. Even for Derek, who has years of practice at it.

♞♚♞♚

"Oh my god, you came to a party!" Kira says, giggling and clearly already drunk. She throws her arms around Derek's shoulders. "I don't think I've ever seen you at one before!"

Derek laughs, feeling more relaxed tonight than he has all week. He's going to see Stiles again, and maybe lose his tongue, but at least he's calmed down from his mini freakout on Monday. "Hey, Kira. I've been known to party occasionally."

Kira laughs. "Okay, sure. Oh my god! There's someone I've been dying for you to meet!"

Derek lets her take his hand and drag him into the crowd at Jackson's apartment. They make their way out to the balcony where a handsome, but slightly scrawny, guy stands smoking a joint.

"Isaac! This is Derek. I've told Isaac all about you, Derek. You two have a lot in common. And -"

"Kira!" a girl's voice comes from within the apartment.

"And that's my cue. Have fun!" Kira giggles as she runs back into the apartment. Derek hears her shout "Maila!" before the door shuts behind her.

Isaac sighs. "This isn't what you think it is."

"It feels like we've just been set-up," Derek murmurs, walking over to take the joint from Isaac's fingers.

"Yeah, but not in the way you think." Isaac takes a deep breath before he says, "She said you have a big house."

Derek blinks, because that's not what he was expecting. "I... do. It was left to me after my parents passed away."

Isaac winces. "Sorry to hear that, man."

"Do you need a place to crash?" Derek asks, taking another puff of the joint before handing it back to Isaac.

"Something like that," Isaac mutters. He closes his eyes and takes a long drag of the joint. Then he says, "Listen, I like Kira. I trust Kira. And Kira trusts you. So. I'm just going to say I'm in a really bad spot right now, and could use another friend."

Isaac takes a deep breath and offers Derek the joint again. Just then, his sleeve moves down, and Derek sees all he needs to know.

"Yeah, man. Any friend of Kira's is a friend of mine. Get my number from her, and we'll work it out."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Derek says, nodding. "My sisters sort of live with me, but neither of them are around much. Cora's in school on the east coast, and Laura works in New York City. So, the place is kind of lonely, anyway."

"Cool. Thanks."

They stand on the balcony in silence for a few minutes, passing the joint back and forth, and then decide to go inside.

Derek's mind is spinning with what just happened, and perhaps that's why, he doesn't see Stiles coming.

Stiles throws his arms around Derek's neck from behind and swings around to face him. "Derek! I need you, right now."

He doesn't hesitate. He puts his hands on Stiles' waist and is ready to whisk him out of this party when Stiles laughs and stumbles backwards.

"Oh, that's good."

Confused, Derek asks, "What do you need me for?"

"I wanna make Erica see what she's missing!" Stiles says, swaying his hips. He frowns when Derek doesn't budge. "Dance with me, handsome."

Derek feels rusty. Like someone who hasn't danced before. He swallows hard. "I thought you apologized to her?"

"I did! A bunch of times!" Stiles says. "But I guess she's on a mission tonight to prove to me that she's really in love with Boyd. So, I wanna make her jealous."

"And I'm the way to do that?" Derek asks, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

"Duh." Stiles shifts closer to Derek. "Is this okay?"

His mouth is dry. He manages a quiet "yes."

Derek tries to swallow again, but a lump has grown in his throat. It feels impossible, to be this close to Stiles, so suddenly after all this wanting.

Stiles tosses his head back and laughs.

He feels like he's drunk in love, Derek realizes. He sways off-beat to the music with Stiles, and he doesn't care. Being able to touch him... be this close... almost kiss him... it's almost too much.

The world pauses for a moment, and Derek blurts, "You are my best friend."

Stiles grins. "You're mine, too!"

There's a beat of silence between them. And Stiles' eyes grow wide. Does he know? Did he read it on Derek's face?

Derek frowns, untangling himself from Stiles and breaking the spell they were just under. "Sorry, I... I have to go."

"Wait, what?" Stiles asks with a panicked expression. "No, you can't just... leave."

Derek swallows and it feels like a hole just opened up beneath his feet and he's falling.

"Sorry, I got... too stoned."

Stiles' lips part.

"I'll text you," Derek finds himself promising.

He squeezes Stiles' wrist, unaware he was even holding it until now, and then he makes his way through the crowd.

"Hey, Hale!" Jackson's voice comes through. But Derek doesn't know what to do now. So, he rushes out the front door and doesn't look back. For once.

♞♚♞♚

"You gonna tell me what Friday night was about?" Lydia asks, settling in beside Derek at the picnic table in the school courtyard. Derek looks up.

"No-thing," he stumbles. "Just got too stoned."

"One minute, I see you all in love with Stilinski, and the next, you're leaving him on the dance floor." Lydia frowns and lowers her voice. "Derek, are you okay?"

He shrugs, because what is there to say? The only text he received from Stiles was a wtf and the only other message he got over the weekend was from Isaac, who has officially moved into the first spare room.

"Derek," Lydia says, her voice sharp. "Talk to me."

"I don't know, okay? He wanted to make Erica jealous or some shit, and I was too stoned to... I don't know. Deal."

Lydia considers this and then nods. "Idiot."

"Me?"

"No, not you. Stiles. He's being an idiot," Lydia says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." Lydia shifts on the bench and then says, "I heard what you did for Isaac. He's in one of my classes. A quiet little thing. I'm glad."

"Yeah." Derek leans forward and whispers, "I think... he was..."

"Yeah, me too." Lydia nods. "I've had my suspicions for a few months now. But he's safe now."

Derek leans back and lets out a breath. "Yeah. Yeah, he is."

Isaac had thanked him a thousand times as they moved his stuff in. It was mostly in garbage bags, so Derek's pretty sure he didn't plan on moving quite so quickly. The poor kid was shaking when Derek came to pick him and his stuff up. It's an image he'll remember for a lifetime.

"You're a great guy, Derek. I love Stilinski, I do, but the guy is a bonehead. You could do so much better," Lydia tells him, and Derek sighs. He guesses they're back to that conversation.

Derek looks up at Lydia and quietly asks, "Is that how you feel about Allison?"

Her lips part and close before she shakes her head. "Alright, point made."

"Hey," a familiar voice comes.

They turn to see Kira. She wears a bright smile, but a pair of sunglasses.

"You can't still be hungover from Jackson's party," Lydia says in lieu of a greeting.

"I ammmm," Kira whines, sitting down beside Derek. She groans dramatically before she says, "I just wanted to thank you, Derek. You're a good man. A better man than most."

He doesn't know what to say to that, so he smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulders. He squeezes her close.

"Hey! Hands off my man," another voice comes.

Derek really should've picked a less popular spot to eat lunch.

His heart pounds.

Stiles plops down beside Lydia with a wide grin. "Haven't you heard? Derek's taken."

"By who?" Lydia asks, dryly.

"By me." Stiles winks at Derek as if he should play along.

"What!" Kira says, sitting upright. "How drunk was I at Jackson's party? Since when?"

"Since Derek swept me off my feet," Stiles says, grinning.

"Oh my god! I'm so excited for you both!" Kira exclaims, and before Derek can stop her, she says, "He's been in love with you since, what, like ninth grade or something?"

Stiles blinks and looks at Derek. "Wait, what?"

"She's kidding," Derek says, but his voice is tense, and he's not sure a single person at this table believes him. Derek takes his arm back from Kira's shoulders and picks up his sandwich.

"No, no," Kira says, clearly not getting it. "When I met Derek, he was at Erica's house, high as a kite, and talking about you. Told everyone he was in love and--ow!"

Derek looks at Lydia, who has clearly kicked Kira under the table. Lydia snorts. "You can't believe everything Derek says while high, Kira. He also once pretended that he was a knight in shining armour and was going to save us all from a dragon."

Kira laughs. "Did he really?"

"I plead the fifth," Derek mutters.

"So you weren't madly in love with me?" Stiles asks, looking at Derek curiously.

Derek picks up his phone. "Shit, I'm going to be late for class."

That he doesn't have.

"I gotta go."

Anywhere but here.

"Derek, wait--" Stiles starts, but it's too late. Derek scoops up his stuff, shoves it in his backpack, and jogs towards the parking lot.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

♞♚♞♚

"Is it okay if I have a friend over?" Isaac asks when Derek gets home. He hesitates before adding, "I think you even know him. Vernon Boyd. We just have a project to work on and I can't really concentrate in the library and--"

"Isaac," Derek says gently. "Of course you can have someone over. This is your home too."

"Oh. Um. Alright, cool. Thanks." Isaac starts to walk towards the kitchen when he pauses and asks, "Are you alright, man?"

Derek laughs. He doesn't mean to, but the sound bursts out of him anyway. He shakes his head. "I'll be fine."

Isaac frowns, but lets it go for now which is exactly what Derek needs. He crashes on the couch, flipping through Disney Plus aimlessly looking for an easy-watching kids' show to watch.

He's almost half way through his fifth episode when someone knocks at the door. Isaac darts down the hall, pausing in the living room archway to say, "That'll be Boyd."

"Okay," Derek says, absentmindedly.

A few minutes later, Isaac comes into the living room with Boyd and says, "We're going to go in the kitchen, if that's okay. Don't want to--"

"Nah," Derek says, shaking his head. "Study in here. It's more comfortable. I was going to go take a nap anyway."

"Oh! If you're sure." Isaac hesitates before asking, "Are you sure you're okay?"

Derek looks at them, with Boyd quietly watching him, and shrugs. "It's dumb."

"I highly doubt that," Boyd says, almost startling Derek with how smooth his voice is. "Isaac told me something was up. Hope that's okay."

"Um. Yeah. It's fine. It's really nothing."

But when Isaac and Boyd settle into the chairs, Derek finds himself talking. A lot. He explains the whole situation starting from ninth grade to this afternoon.

"And I don't really get it," Derek continues, almost out of breath. "Like, why is he using me like this?"

"Sounds like he doesn't get it," Boyd counters.

"Have you told him anything?" Isaac asks.

Derek shakes his head. "No, but I'm sure Kira and Lydia told him after I left today. He hasn't even texted or called or... I don't know. Done anything."

"Sucks," Isaac says.

"Definitely sucks," Boyd agrees.

Derek rubs his face. "What do I do now?"

"Let him go?" Isaac suggests.

"I can't. That's the annoying part," Derek admits. "There's just... so much history. And he's really a great guy. He's just been all obsessed with this idea that he's in love, and I don't think he even really believes it."

"Why do you say that?" Boyd asks, shifting on his chair to lean in. He studies Derek with his intense brown eyes, filled with concern, and Derek melts. No wonder why Erica's mad for him.

"I think he chooses people who are emotionally unavailable so he won't get hurt. Because if he chooses someone real, well, he'd actually be risking something." Derek sighs.

Boyd smiles. "I appreciate you sharing all of this with me, especially because we don't know each other well."

"Ditto," Isaac says. "And my advice? Maybe just... talk to him?"

"Tell him how you really feel. And that's why you can't pretend to see him to make Erica jealous." Boyd pauses before asking, "How do you know Erica wouldn't be jealous, though?"

"She's in love with yo--" Derek catches himself but it's a beat too late.

Boyd blinks, and then a bright grin crosses his face. "Sorry, gentlemen, but I think there's somewhere I need to be."

Isaac laughs. "By all means, man, go get your girl."

Boyd pauses to add to Derek, "Talk to him. He has no idea what's going on in your head. Good luck."

Derek watches in bewilderment as Boyd leaves. He turns to Isaac and asks, "Is that dude for real? He finds out Erica's slightly interested in him and he just... goes to talk to her?"

Isaac laughs. "Yeah. Boyd's been madly in love with her ever since they first met. Said she was a goddess. Claimed she was an angel without her wings."

"And... and he's just going to go tell her?"

"Yeah. He just wanted to be sure that she felt the same for him," Isaac says, before adding, "Why? Hoping Stiles is doing the same?"

Derek exhales. "If only."

♞♚♞♚

Feeling a little more hopeful than before, Derek knocks on Stiles' dorm room door. He doesn't know what he's going to say. But he knows he has to say something. He's been running from this for far too long.

He holds coffee in his hand, realizing that it may be a mistake to give Stiles coffee at midnight, but it's too late now.

Stiles' roommate, Scott, opens the door. "Oh! Derek. Hi."

"Hi, is Stiles here?" Derek asks.

"I don't know what happened between you two," Scott says, carefully. "But ever since Monday, he's been moping around. I'm not even sure he wants to talk to you."

"Yes, he does!" Stiles calls out from somewhere in the dorm room.

Scott frowns, narrowing his eyes on Derek. "If you hurt him, I hurt you. Got it?"

"Got it," Derek says, although he's pretty sure he could win in a fight against Scott. But he's not about to say that.

Scott opens the door for Stiles to slip through.

"Hey," Stiles says.

"Hey. Wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure. Let me grab a sweater."

Stiles slips back into the dorm and Scott gestures that he's watching Derek. He almost wants to tell Scott that he's got this all wrong. It's going to be his heart to break tonight.

A few minutes later, Stiles comes back in a red hoodie. He happily takes a coffee and says, "Let's go."

Derek doesn't know what to say, not even when they get into the elevator, so he stays quiet.

Stiles asks, "Did you hear that Erica and Boyd are officially dating?"

"Oh?" Derek says, as if he didn't already know this. "That's great for them. How... um. How are you?"

"Surprisingly... fine," Stiles says, but his voice sounds stiff.

"That's good."

Their shoulders brush when they both move to exit the elevator. Derek steps back to let Stiles go first.

They don't say anything until they're walking along the path by the pond.

"So, you're in love with me, huh?" Stiles asks.

Derek swallows, unsure what to say. He knew this would come up. Knew that he'd have to admit it tonight. But saying the words seems a lot harder.

"I wish I had known!" Stiles says, when Derek doesn't answer. "Here I am, mooning over these people, begging to be in love like my friends, and here you were. The whole time. But you didn't say anything. Why?"

"Because you weren't mooning over me," Derek mumbles. Suddenly, he's lost his nerve. "I don't know. Why didn't you ever tell Erica you were in love with her?"

"Because I wasn't!" Stiles says.

They both stop walking to stare at each other.

"You weren't?"

"No. I wasn't. I... I see that now." Stiles rubs his hands together. "In fact, I don't think I've ever been in love before. But..."

"But?"

"I don't know," Stiles admits. "I think I'd like to be."

Derek considers this, and then quietly says, "Stiles, would you like to go on a date with me?"

His eyes light up. "Really? Even if I'm not in love with you too?"

Derek smiles. "I've had a long time to be in love with you. Are you sure you're ready for something real?"

Stiles beams. "I am."

Derek holds his hand out and Stiles slips his fingers in between Derek's fingers.

It might not be the love story Derek expected, and it might burn hot and fizzle out, but he's relieved to have finally let his fears go and try.

♞♚♞♚

Three months later...

"Derek! Can you please tell Stiles he can't strip down naked every time he comes over without seeing if I'm home first?" Isaac calls down the hall.

Derek laughs. "Sure thing, Isaac. But you might not want to come into the kitchen."

"Aw, c'mon, man!" Isaac calls back. "In the kitchen? Really?"

"We're making breakfast," Stiles calls out. "But give me a second to put on more than the apron."

Stiles turns to Derek and motions for him to hand over Derek's blue sweater and a pair of sweatpants.

"Isaac is going to kill me if we keep doing this," Derek says.

"Yeah, well, he's going to have to get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."

"No?" Derek murmurs, leaning forward for a kiss. Their lips touch briefly before they hear a groan from the hallway.

"Did you two burn the toast again?"

Stiles and Derek both turn to see the toaster has popped up with black toast. "Crap! Derek, it was your turn to watch the toast."

"It's hardly my fault that you decided to get naked and distract me," Derek says, moving towards the toaster to deal with the burnt toast. He starts to pull it out, wincing at the heat, and glances over his shoulder to see Stiles is fully clothed again. He pouts.

"It's okay," Stiles says, coming up behind him and whispering in his ear. "I love you too, Derek."

It might not be the moment he imagined, but it's theirs, and it's perfect, and that's all that matters.

"Guys, is it safe to come into the kitchen yet?"

Derek laughs.

♞♚♞♚

#sterek ficlet #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #taylor swift #taylor swift inspired #teen wolf #teen wolf fic #teen wolf fanfiction #my writing #dontmakeme sing

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a-queer-seminarian · 11 months

Text

big ol' worry dump, i promise i'll post something rebloggable soon but i'm still processing everything and have not had time to write it coherently! cw queerphobia from the pulpit, church hurt, verbal violence, and brief csa mention (not a specific case)

SO. for anyone not keeping up, this past Sunday i visited my childhood church in ohio, and was devastated when near the end of his homily (Catholic word for sermon haha) my childhood pastor suddenly switched from celebrating the Spirit who bursts through closed doors to proclaiming that The Church Is Under Attack from people like the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. :/

After he finished and sat down, i stood up and got behind the lectern/pulpit to remind him and everyone in the room that queer and trans people have the Holy Spirit too, because his words implied otherwise. And i could not risk that any other person there felt suddenly and utterly alone — i had to make sure they knew that not everyone agreed with our priest's message.

(Here's a place you can watch a clip of the homily — obviously mega content warning for homophobia, please keep yourself safe and remember you are loved!! — as well as my response)

Not long into speaking, I was escorted peacefully out of the building. Two parishioners followed and found me outside, and thanked me for what i said. They were very sweet <3

As we were talking, another parishioner stormed out and got very, very verbally violent. It was scary shit.

Other parishioners eventually came out and led Scary Man away, thankfully. The church's other, younger & newer priest, Father Jim, also came out to apologize profusely to us. Then i went home. My wife and i flew home to Georgia the next morning.

____

and...stuff keeps happening.

i did not expect this to make the news, but it did. the Cleveland Plain Dealer wrote on it, and so have other papers across the country.

an officer called me to ask if i wanted to press charges on Scary Man. I don't, because i'm just not convinced the results would be helpful to actually stopping him from doing what he did again.

if anyone has resources or someone smart i could talk to for advice on alternatives to cops & court for a situation like this, please hit me up!!!

after agreeing to an interview with the Plain Dealer reporter, which used my first and last name, folks have been finding me on social media to offer their support, which actually has been so uplifting and i plan to post some of the messages later!

my parents are proud of me and support me BUT my mom is worried sick that someone is going to, like, find out where i live and come attack me. i'd be more worried that they find out who my parents are and go attack them, tbh.

i've had more sudden spikes of adrenaline in the past five days than i have in the past like, 2 years lol

i've also talked with more different individuals on the phone in the past five days than i had over the rest of 2023 so far

i was scrolling through twitter last night and randomly came across a tweet featuring a TikTok of a cut-down version of my priest's homily + my response...i really don't like what parts they cut out, or what they titled it. and it's got over a million views. :OOO

there's a lot of confusion in the replies — people who don't realize i'm a former parishioner, not an active one; people not knowing how to gender me which is fine but it's, you know, getting a little grating; and of course, people resorting to saying Father Tim must be "closeted gay" or otherwise have a Sinister Secret himself to say what he said...I hate that kind of rhetoric.

Not every person who spouts homophobia is secretly gay. The Biggest Homophobes are usually, shockingly, straight.

And flippantly suggesting that anyone, even a Catholic priest, is a pedophile without facts to back that accusation up only serves to harm csa victims — because then when there really is a case that needs to be pursued, people may not take it seriously.

one big thing that's bothering me about how everyone on every side of the debate is interpreting Father Tim's homily is they are focusing mostly on his condemnation of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence — and while I certainly oppose what he said about them, it's actually the first half of his message that scared me more: the stuff about the church being under attack and how Christians must defend it. He ended with a vague reminder to do so "peacefully," without any examples about how that's even done. And obviously, Scary Man didn't absorb that part of the message.

sigh. i was really hoping that agreeing to an interview with the plain dealer reporter who wrote the first article would give me a chance to explain why i felt i had to interrupt Mass, but unfortunately they didn't include those quotes. i'm really disappointed.

that article's title also says "attendee fired back," using exactly the kind of violence-coded language that I had a problem with in F. Tim's homily. So that's really unfortunate.

which is why i want to write up my perspective. i did send a long ass email to father tim the other night explaining what i did, why his message was hurtful AND fueled his parishioner's violence, and asking if we could talk about alternative ways to hold Scary Man accountable beyond the law. he hasn't responded yet.

anyway. yeah. it's been. a lot. good vibes and prayers are so very appreciated! and seriously, if anyone has resources about alternatives to legal action when we're dealing with someone who got very verbally violent and physically aggressive, i'd love some help figuring out what to do. also any thoughts about like, keeping myself safe? yeah

Anyway, gonna end with the affirmation that God made us Good; human diversity is what it looks like to be in the image of an Infinite creator; and queerness is a holy gift that the Body of Christ can't do without!!

Amen and amen.

#log #gonna start tagging these #Pentecost Incident

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genderflu1dwh0r · 6 months

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Heather Chandler vs Jade, who wins? (in a perfect world, they both do)

You're pinning two bad bitches against each other 💔

(this turned into more of just facts lol)

First, Heathers is set in the 80s while Victorious is set in the 10s. If Heather Chandler had a phone, ohmygod. It would be chaos.

I feel like they'd both fight dirty with each other, I can see Heather taking her earrings out and secretly having a weapon, Jade having her scissors (she wouldn't use them imo) Heather would most likely use her power and money to get rid of Jade, but could probably get physical with her. She's at the top of the food chain, she gets everything she wants, everyone wants her as a "friend or a fuck" in her words, she is a grade A bully. She could pay students to fuck with Jade, so she doesn't get her hands dirty.

Jade could probably physically take Heather, without weapons, but Heather will fight back. There is no way a struggle would not happen, Jade would see Heather as a rich stuck up bitch who needs to be taken down a peg, but I don't think she would go full Jason Dean and kill her. I think she'd get creeped out by him.

Heather is the type to actually stab a bitch while Jade would threaten, then actually stab if things got too serious. Also, they both have daddy issues, so I could end the post here by just that.

The queer coding in both media is strong, I feel like if Tori or Veronica got flirted with, Jade and Heather would be in prison. Both are very hard headed and fucked up in their own ways, they get what they want usually. Imo they'd probably get along at some point, bonding over how they made a kid cry idk.

Heather has a killer by her side though, Veronica has murdered multiple people (technically JD did most of it, but whatever, she was still involved.) She can replicate handwriting, so she can write suicide notes. Heather could win just because of that ngl. Tori has a cop dad, so that could be something, but cops don't do jack shit, so I'm going with Veronica. Jade did hide Tori's blood and give her flowers she was allergic to so she would be the lead, but she hasn't killed anyone to my knowledge.

Jade has a whole friend group, while Heather has a small one of three girls, which she bullies the fuck out of Duke, so they aren't like, friends, but whatever.

Heather sadly wants male validation, so she uses her body, we watch her get SA'ed and the aftermath. That has got to build something up in her, so she lashes out probably way worse than Jade ever could. She spits water at herself, feeling disgusted. You can see her true emotions here, her fear, her just being a kid. She is truly just a kid in a grown up world.

Tori and Veronica could possibly get along, which would force Jade and Heather to get along. Veronica is darker, so idk how well they'd bond.

Jade and Heather drive their girlfriends around lol

This turned into just facts about them lmfao, anyway, I think there would be a decent fight. They wouldn't even have to get physical to cause so much damage, but they have very strong rage, so anything could happen. Jade gets into people's medical records, while Heather could easily do the same. They're both fired up girls who don't take shit from others, they can make others do their bidding and they're smart.

Tori and Veronica are just trying to hold their girlfriends back cause they're fighting like cats. Tori would probably ask her "so... how's your day?" As they hold their girlfriends tightly, Veronica just stares at her with confusion. "Not great."

#ask #heathers #victorious #chansaw #jori #heather chandler #jade west #veronica sawyer #tori vega #jamie edits

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butchkelev · 5 months

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Idk if you would answer something personal like this but I thought I’d shoot my shot!

For background I’m 20, queer/enby and just starting to get into bdsm/kink this past year or two. I also prefer a submissive/brat role and your page has helped me a lot in feeling a community and understanding.

How did you learn about this side of yourself/explore it, have you found community that makes you feel validated in it and can share it with, and how do you work through shame if you experience that?

I hope you have the best day I appreciate you!

-🫀

Heyy howdy! i'm so happy to hear my little corner of tumblr has helped you out at all, that's really cool :) I don't feel super qualified to answer your questions, but i'll do my best under the cut

I learned about this side of myself very, very early on lol. I was extremely hypersexual as a child (didn't know what a sexuality was so i just fantasized about everyone) then got scared of myself from like 9-14 (came out as bi at 11, lesbian at 12), then got back to it as a highschooler (13: trans & bi; 15-18:gay ftm). I never got with anyone (didn't start screwing till i was 18), but i poked around 20th century queer art and history and photography (mostly from the u.s., and mostly gay male), and by the time i joined in on the grindr scene at 18 i had an idea of how i wanted to be thrown around. I explored it all in a pretty horrible, unhealthy way through grindr. I fell in love with a transfem who was my first for everything but was secretly using me as "the other man" the whole time, i was always too scared to actually deny sex to anyone who i wound up meeting in person which did a horrific number on my body, and i was obviously chased all over the map by cis male fetishists, and i got with several of them and dated one who was extremely... i don't know. Manipulative? Violent? It's more confusing than that. I was having sex as an addict running away from my real life issues and emotional struggles, and i fucked myself over so much worse than any one hookup or short-term relationship possibly could've. I realized i needed to cut it all off, and i did, and it forced me to seriously think about where i stand sexually. I was right when i was a kid- i'm a dyke. As imaginitive as i was when i was younger, i haven't been 'hypersexual' since i was maybe 13, and i am definitely demisexual. The trauma i experienced from august 2022 to july 2023 has caused extremely intense bouts of sex-repulsion fluctuating against sex addiction which has been... tough. But with all that said, coming back to my dyke roots and listening to my younger self and pursuing butchness and fagdyke bullshit has helped me heal so, so much. It was rough realizing that what i was doing was a twisted version of comphet, something i stupidly thought i was more or less immune to. This community and all the art and people and ideas that come out of it are so insanely incredible and touching to me. I've always been part of the trans community, but the trans dyke community is so much stronger together than the gay trans community was for reasons i don't know.

I currently live in a small town in florida with no nearby major cities, and even if there were, i can't afford a car (let alone gas or insurance) and i'm stuck at home when i'm not at work. It's miserable, and all those issues combined mean there's no community here for me to engage with, not queer and definitely not kinky. I've been wanting to move to a bigger city, and when i was visiting Seattle i got my first real ticket into a trans kink community that was so warm, welcome, open, and i was so, so floored and beyond happy i got to experience it, even if it was just one meet up at a cafe. Finding community in smaller areas is excruciating.... even if you take initiative to build it, it's likely there's no one actually There to join in.... i mope about it a lot. But online i feel like i have recently found a good circle of people/mutuals/etc to share in butch/dyke/trans sexuality and leather kinks and pretty much everything i've talked about on this blog, despite how badly it's lacking for me irl :,,)

Something that ties the two paragraphs together: i really don't struggle with shame in any bit of what i do or who i am, unless i'm going through a paranoid fit of sex-repulsion, in which case the only thing i'm really shameful about is having an online presence at all. Sometimes i get paranoid and scared off my ass that i'll never be separated from these fantasies and images, that i'll always be seen as a little, young fucktoy, or that i'm still in addiction and punishing myself and this is all self-harm when i know (in normal states) that it isn't.

Also sooooo glad you're a brat, isn't it so much fun? How am i not supposed to be a bit snarky from time to time and how am i not supposed to obsess over the punishments i'll get? It's always a win win i fucking love being a little piece of shit lollll

#anon #ask #trans nsft #bd/sm community #butch nsft #very vague trigger warnings for this it's just kind of upsetting in some areas

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vamp-stamp-fics · 2 years

Text

Eddie Munson hcs

Tags: Eddie Munson Headcanons, mostly fluff, Eddie lives!Au, some steddie hcs too while I'm at it, some inconsistency

A/n: some of these hcs are based off of my own experiences so enjoy that lol

Edit: here's some old hcs I have that I found lying deep in my drafts collecting dust lol

_________________________________________

One time in 9th grade screamed "hail Satan" during the pledge of allegiance

Has a childhood stuffed animal (probably a teddy bear) that he still has out of nostalgia and that he's too connected to it to let go of it

Had a pet fish when he was younger. when it died he cried and buried it in the backyard. You can still kinda see the watered down cardboard headstone behind the trailer

This man is gay and realized that probably around middle school

Literally cried when he found out bc he knew what would happen if anyone (especially his dad) found out

Uncle Wayne's the only one in Eddies family that's supportive

I personally hc that's why Eddie lives with Wayne bc his parents found out and kicked him out :(

When he's not playing dnd or hanging out with the rest of the group he kinda just tends to stay in his room and practice guitar. That or goes into the woods

Or selling drug's lol

Has an extreme fear of bugs. Literally screams if he sees a cockroach in the trailer as he violently stomps the shit out of it

But if he's with the kids or the queer quartet (especially with Steve) and there's a bug he'll just act all brave and heroic and kill it

"seriously Harrington, with that scream the neighbors gonna think There's a girl in here"

"yeah haha real funny Munson"

But internally he's just as freaked out

Eddie secretly kinda always wanted to have a younger sibling so he could teach them stuff he knew and get them into stuff he was interested in and that's why he absolutely loves his relationship with Dustin bc he's like the younger brother he's always wanted

was absolutely ecstatic when he meet will

Basically took the kid under his wing like he did with Lucas, Dustin, & mike (A/n: side note people need to bring up more about Lucas when talking about Eddie being mentor for Dustin & Mike cus he's also a part of hellfire club so goddamn I'm doing it)

He also encouraged will to wear his "will the wise" costume to at least one of the campaigns

Speaking of hellfire club-

There's this hc I saw on TikTok that I absolutely love that Eddie lost a bet to Lucas and had to wear a princess costume to a campaign

Makes me laugh every time I think about it

I just imagine Eddie with a deadpanned face as the rest of hellfire tried not to laugh Thier asses off

Also Erica decided that she actually liked going to the hellfire campaign and decided to go more often

Tho she won't officially call herself a member cus "hellfire clubs for a bunch of losers" lol

(this for the Eddie lives!au where Eddie just goes with Dustin instead of going and trying to fight the bats off. I'm still mad about that 😒) How Eddie met will was after the "earthquake" when the rest of the group are at Wheelers house and the California crusaders (argyles group lol) are back in Hawkins and there all hugging each other and just happy everyone's okay 👍

"but vamp Eddie is wanted by the police shouldn't he still be in hiding and not in the public eye" I THINK A MURDER SUSPECT IS THE LEAST OF HAWKINS WORRIES AFTER A EARTHQUAKE THAT DESTROYED THE TOWN JUST HAPPENED

Anyways Mike and Dustin introduce will to Eddie (someone pls write a fanfic of this PLEASE-)

Eddie sees alot of his younger self in Will

Like ALOT

Besides the fact They're both queer (will didn't say shit about that btw, Eddie just knew) they're both seen as freaks and have similar interests with dnd so when Eddie and will learned more about each other and realized they had more in common

Steve & Dustin 2.0

obviously Eddie doesn't just sweep Dustin under the rug now that wills there but c'mon he can have 2 younger brothers can't he?

And Steves his bf he's gotta take care of their kid together/hj

Speaking of steddie Steve & Eddie kinda give off divorced parents taking care of Thier kid together and Secretly still are in love with each other but doesn't say anything to the other ab it

Eddie's also the 2nd person for Will to come out to and Eddie immediately accepts him

"I mean byer c'mon it was a little obvious"

"huh?"

"you're kidding right? I see the way you look at Wheelers brother"

Of course Eddie doesn't tell anyone unless wills fine with him telling someone else

which let's be honest he probably doesn't want Eddie telling anyone else at least until he's absolutely sure how they feel about queer people. And even then will probably be a bit hesitant on telling the person WHO he likes (A/n: totally not projecting or anything)

After will comes out him Eddie decides to pull a switch a roo out of his ass and come out to will as well

"besides the fact that I also know how you feel, considering I swing that way too"

Will is absolutely shocked

Bamboozled even

Just :0

As if Eddie doesn't look like a walking Skittles ad

Tbh I might make a little fanfic of this scenario :)

Back to when Eddie gets introduced to everyone

Argyle thinks he absolutely fucking cool

"wow man that's a pretty sick jacket"

"you, like metal?"

"well Eden listens to metal so if she likes metal I say it's pretty cool 😎"

Eddie, argyle, & Johnathan are smoking buddies

+ Eden sometimes if argyle visits her

(I'm sorry but I love argyle x Eden sm. They're in a long distance relationship damn it)

If Edens with them Eddie talk ab different type of music they're into sense they have somewhat similar taste

I hc Eden prefers goth music (Siouxsie and the banshees, the cure, joy division, sisters of mercy, Bauhaus) but listens to metal as well so if she wants recs she'll ask Eddie

They all just hot box in argyles van

Anyways back to Eddie hcs

When he graduates (finally) he does exactly what he said he would do: flip principal Higgins off and run like hell out of there

Hellfire club + the rest of the queer quartet, and Wayne was there in crowd cheering him on

After the ceremony tho he was absolutely ecstatic

Wayne gave him the biggest hug out of all them

"I'm proud of you kid"

Nearly teared up when Wayne said that

Jonathan took a bunch of pictures

They had party at Wayne's trailer

Nothing too fancy but there was enough people to call it a party

He also has a pet rat named Ozzy

A/n: anyways these are all the hcs that I could pull out of my ass for now but I might update this post if there's more I can think of

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kookiecrush · 5 months

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ig this is kinda triggered by the “as a jikooker, taekookers r deluded” comment…

im a taekooker but i rlly have these moments where i think we all must just be deluded (jkkers, tkkers, other shippers etc) bc everyone believes SO strongly that their ship is right and we all feel like we can back it up w “evidence”. jikookers genuinely see something btwn jm and jk and us taekookers genuinely see something between v and jk. i do feel like taekook makes the most sense logically (especially during the solo era) and i feel like i did a lot of research to come to that conclusion (including watching videos on a lot of other pairings like jikook), but i could rlly just have underlying biases that are making me see things between tk that my brain wants to see. to other shippers and fans tkkers r insane, to tkkers others r insane. so honestly aren’t we probably all insane lol ? ik it’s POSSIBLE that tk are together but it just seems so improbable. i often try to talk myself out of taekook bc like rly what r the chances of two members in the biggest band in the word actually secretly dating for like many years ? and they’ve been able to successfully hide it all this time ? and we believe they still are together ? idk it sounds too good/far-fetched to be true and like i can’t imagine a day coming way later on down the line where it would actually be confirmed or like super super obvious even without confirmation. but i can totally imagine a day where it comes out that jk is officially dating some girl or something like that and then we’d all be proven wrong. ik that leans into assuming heterosexuality is the default which is not good and i don’t believe that but i can’t help but to feel like nah we’re all just delusional and fantasizing and tk r not together. i do definitely believe v is queer in some way but maybe that’s all.

Maybe we are all delusional? I certainly thought the taekookers that actually believed taekook were together were delusional when I first started delving deeper into the ship. For a good while I was very resistant to the possibility of them being real. Because that's ridiculous, right? The clearer it became to me that there was actually something going on between taekook, the more and more I tried to deny it. So while confirmation bias is very much real, and I have no doubt that I'm guilty of it at times, it doesn't really apply to my actual belief in taekook because the foundations of that belief are built on a healthy amount of scepticism and doubt. I was looking for ways to disprove taekook, not confirm they were real. Yet here i am 🤷‍♀️

Is the idea of taekook so improbable, though? Wouldn't their situation have made it more likely, in fact? It's pretty obvious that there was an attraction between taekook when they were younger, that is something I'm confident of, and it's pretty easy for close friendship to turn into a romantic relationship when attraction and feelings are involved. Surely there's a higher chance of falling in love with someone when you spend all your time with them? It sounds like the perfect environment for something to develop to me.

In terms of them keeping their relationship a secret all these years, I highly doubt taekook's is the only hidden relationship going on. There's plenty of dating and relationships going on in secret within the industry. Idols have alluded to it many times. People have even got married or had a baby without anyone finding out, so I don't think taekook's situation is that much of a stretch.

You seem kind of bothered by the fact that you have doubts about taekook, but that's completely normal, anon. Realistically speaking, we can't say with 100% certainty that taekook are real, can we? You don't need to come to a concrete decision about taekook. You don't even have to believe in taekook at all. It doesn't have to be black and white. Think of it more like a spectrum. Maybe you're only at 60%. Maybe you'll never be sure about them. There's nothing wrong with that. I truly believe taekook are together but I also leave a little room for the possibility that I'm wrong.

At the end of the day, what everyone else believes is irrelevant. Just focus on what you believe, anon. There's no right or wrong decision. Honestly, I think some doubt and uncertainty is far better than just blindly believing everything. If we just accepted every random taekook theory without ever questioning anything then we really would be delusional.

#ask #taekook #vkook

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dearweirdme · 5 months

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i’m sending this to a few tk blogs bc i’d like multiple people’s perspectives…

Hi anon!

I think it's important to realize that it's okay to not actually believe in Tae and Jk being together (or any ship for that matter). Them being together or not does not actually effect your own life. So if you're in a state of "well, I definitely see some stuff going on, but I have no clue what it is exactly" that's totally fine. Uncertainty isn't a bad thing, you just have to be able to cope with it in a healthy way. Sometimes uncertain shippers do not know how to cope with the uncertainty very well, those are the ones who scrutinize every detail of every moment we get.. trying to find proof. I get it, but it's not the way to go, because that uncertainty will always return and you'll end up in a loop with no end. I think there's people that get actual anxiety because of this at times.

I know to non-shippers we (and other shippers) must all look insane. I don't think we actually are. Even though there are insane-ish tkkrs out there, that doesn't mean there can't be some truth to it as well. When you look around on twitter, youtube, instagram, Tumblr, you find all sorts of different Tkkrs. While we all fall under the term 'Taekooker' i'd say there's many different categories, which very different outlooks on the situation. For instance, technically I'd rather call myself a Taekook believer, while I suppose you are an actual shipper. There's also those that believe, but do not ship.

I'll tell you my reasons for not thinking I'm insane (😂😂). This sounds super stupid and arrogant (and I'm actually cringing while typing this up)... but I consider myself smart and insightfull. Have been all my life, and others have also told me they think of me the same. Basically, I trust my instincts and judgement. I've gone through life experiencing many different feelings, emotions, situations.. and I feel I just understand life and people. When it comes to Tae and Jk, I don't need all the overanalyzed stuff. I just see the way they look at each other and the way they interact and I feel I recognize romantic love there. I understand why it must seem 'too good to be true', but is it really? People so often fall in love with people they are in close proximity to. Coworkers falling in love isn't odd, best friends falling in love isn't odd, celebrities falling in love isn't odd... so why would Tae and Jk be the exception? It isn't even weird for two members in the same band to fall in love or be married... it is just odd to see two members of a K-pop band in love... but is the reason that it doesn't happen, or that it isn't made public?

When you look at celebrities that have come out, you will very often see that they as well have kept it a secret for many years. Idols are expected to keep their relationships hidden anyway, so for Tae and Jk this isn't very much different in that aspect, only there's an added reason. I don't think Namjoon, Jimin, Yoongi, Hobi, and Jin have been single the last ten years.. and we know nothing of their relationships either.

I don't think their relationship has been easy and I expect there have probably been many difficulties along the way. But when I see how they are together this year.. I definitely think their love was stronger than the things that got thrown in their way.

I think it's good to be sceptical. I try to be as well.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

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cebwrites · 2 years

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OK I'm currently in a binge/obsession of a certain show that's got me hooked! hard! and then I'm also in the midst of one piece marathon and these two came together in my self ship daydream and now I must get it out before my brain melts!

to the point! how do you think Law would react to finding out his S/O somewhat secretly/doesn't exactly advertise their deep love for the show (or comic in one piece case) of Bee & Puppycat? like as far as dressing similarly to Bee (when not in boiler suit lol) and having a puppycat plush they sleep with? trans male s/o please!

Law canonically likes cute things and this show is so cute! I wanna be cute like that dammit!

hi anon, your idea was so adorable i couldn't go back to sleep properly after reading it and had to get this out lmao i haven't actually seen the show so i couldn't tell you anything about it, but i did do a cursory google search to see what the mc's outfits were like-

glad to know i’m attracting the kind of target demographic (trans/queer) i’m looking for though 💕

having a s/o who secretly wants to dress cute (Law)

transmasc reader, he/they law word count: 0.5k

As far as your obsession with a comic goes, Law really has no ground to stand on given his Sora fanboy status, so you wouldn’t see or hear a peep of judgement from them

He’d humor you and show a passing interest at first, especially if you did the same for his fixation on the Sora series, but start reading in their own time too because the cute elements and style reeled them in

It’s something tender the two of you can share together once you catch them sneaking issues of yours into his office and then hastily clearing his throat to dismiss any potential teasing (it doesn’t work but be nice)

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere already, but clothes are clothes - Law is aware that presentation doesn’t necessarily mean identity and they’d chastise anyone who equates and/or conflates the two

So when they find out how you’d like to really dress out of uniform, he doesn’t really bat an eye - a guy (trans or otherwise) wants to wear cute skirt go spinny, what about it? Surely there’ve been stranger happenings on the Grand Line of all places

But they’re more than understanding if you’re hesitant to wear it out, I can assure you that no one on this fruity, genderfuck god damn crew would judge you for even a second for having those reservations

Everyone wants you to be happy and comfy though; if that means wearing your Bee fits only in the Tang (the air conditioned floors anyway) around your peers, building up the confidence to wear them out and about while asserting your masculinity, or only being comfortable donning the cute high-waisted shorts and poofy sweaters in the privacy of the shared room with your love doctor - then so be it

If you do wear your Bee fits out and some gender essentialist twat gives you shit for it, you can expect their head to be swapped with their ass faster than the dysphoria can settle in, the rest of the Hearts are immediately there to take your mind off things so you don’t linger on that negative interaction, too

Fuck that bitch, guys can wear cute clothes and still be manly and fucking adorable

Law’s known to add some splashes of color to their wardrobe every now and again, so maybe some days he’ll even match with you - only in the sub though, he’s got a(n emo) reputation to keep up babes

The one thing that may cause some tension, however, is ‘custody’ of your Puppycat plush - that Law insists is “ours” now because you’re dating them - and why it always ends up on their side of the bed or his office, depending on how willing you are to share, or point out how Law gets huffy about you cuddling his walking plushie and youngest, therefore the certified baby of the crew, navigator; Bepo

Keep it up, though, and Law might just shambles you into the bedroom you share and stubbornly cling to you like an oversized teddy bear for the rest of the evening, with you powerless against their grip - not that you’d mind that, really...

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obsessivelollipoplalala · 11 days

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Okay I'll write in points here because it's long

It started with Freddie saying something like they are gonna stay together until they die and I thought how poignant it is in hindsight.

I loved Brian May's insights the starting was very sweet with him telling us that him and Freddie shared rooms for a decade, that he knows him really well and about how shy he was until firmly saying that he was gay even if people don't want to believe it. There was another person saying the same thing, I forgot her name but I think it's unfortunate that it's really common for people to outright ignore or deny any queer artists' identity just because they don't want to deal with whatever biases they have going.

Roger Taylor was really mad about the media/tabloids attacking Freddie and I get it especially The Sun because it's still trash today. Just vile and immoral for no reason.

Then it went to them saying that the band had a guess of what's going on with Freddie because they saw him disappear for treatments and coming back with scars but not wanting to believe it so they just never brought it and made a whole album before Freddie ultimately told them.

All the pictures with Jim Hutton were really cute I have to say and his sister saying that she was told that he was the gardener but he was around every time she went to her brother's house so she put 2+2 together lol.

The minute Anita Dobson came on screen I was trying to remember where I had seen her then I remembered it was the doctor who clips that were going viral on Twitter. But she seems so sweet and she had really cute story about how she became friends with Freddie and how he introduced her to Jim. She did say that Freddie told her when he couldn't sing anymore he'll die and that's she thinks what happened. She also seemed really sad that she lost contact with Jim I guess they were close.

Also I got more songs from this documentary so I'm really happy about that, I just googled the lyrics.

I didn't know Elton John was really close with Freddie, he seemed so heartbroken in all the videos they played of him.

Also Joe Elliot was there that was a surprise, was he friends with Freddie? I know I have heard Robert Plant talk about Freddie Mercury before. I secretly adore the idea of all these frontman that people like to pit against each other being friends in real life.

I might watch the tribute concert or atleast the George Micheal's part of it, he sounded so good and David Bowie was clapping from the sidelines during the rehearsal ( I get it, he was superb )

I feel like I got insights to the entire band' dynamic so thats nice because we have all heard Bands going like oh we like each other, we are a family but when one of you is gone and how the rest treat their memory is the true test of that.

I'll respond in bullet points lol

Brian was great in the documentary, and is one of Freddie's most consistent defenders, especially in regards to his sexuality. I love when Brian talks about knowing Freddie so well through sharing rooms and talking about his shyness, because you can just feel the fondness there and get the distinct sense that he loved Freddie the human being as opposed to the showman, which can't be said for everyone who knew Freddie

Yeah, The Sun was particularly vile, and the band really hated the press. Brian wrote the song "Scandal" in 1989 for the album, The Miracle, because the press was hounding Freddie (and Brian about his affair and divorce, but that's another story). I can't remember if this documentary mentioned it, but the fact that the press had set up a camera to see into Freddie's bathroom is just so vile

The Miracle is the album that they made before Freddie told them the truth. If you listen to the album, there are a couple songs hinting at what's going on, because as you saw, the band knew something was wrong. Fun fact: one of Brian's favorite songs that Freddie wrote is "The Miracle" because Freddie was able to write about beautiful things while he was sick

Lol yes, Kashmira knowing that Jim was Freddie's partner was funny

Yep, Anita was in Doctor Who! Her most famous role was in EastEnders in the 80s. There's another interview where she talked about an episode of that show being viewed by millions of people, and overnight people knew her face, and Freddie called her up like, "Guess who's in the paper, darling ;)" Anita was a true friend to Freddie and visited him while he was ill with Brian. Yeah, her theory that Freddie stopped fighting when he couldn't sing anymore lines up...Freddie's last song was "Mother Love"; Brian was the one who wrote it, but Freddie had to go home before it was finished because he was feeling unwell. He said he'd be back, but he never returned to the studio...And yeah, that doc revealed that Anita kept in touch with Jim to some extent. I really wonder what that relationship was like

Yes, Elton John was very close to Freddie! He still tears up when he talks about receiving a Christmas gift from Freddie a mere month after he passed...

I can't remember with the Joe Elliott thing tbh. I think he knew Freddie? I also feel like I'm remembering that he called up Brian after Freddie passed to check in on him, so maybe he was on friendly terms with the band, yeah

The doc does show how close the band was towards the end and how protective Brian and Roger are of Freddie's memory at the very least, yeah. It's really a great doc and I'm glad you watched it and got something out of it

#queen #replies #Anonymous

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willow-salix · 10 months

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5 and 13 for your boy John :D

Oh haiiii!

A fanwork with queer themes id like to make for John. That's easy.

I secretly ship him with another character (a male but I won't say who as that ruins the surprise) and I'd love to write an adorable poly thruple with him, John and Sel. Sel is fully on board. It would be an AU type thing but they would be adorable and I practically cry every time I think about it or a little scene pops into my head lol.

I started my fanfiction career in the world of Roleplay, and one of my absolute favourite and most rewarding stroylines was done with a character with multiple partners, showcasing a happy, loving and healthy poly relationship. I think it's so important to show that those relationships are possible and just as valid as any other.

And the other question, how would John celebrate pride? He would celebrate it quietly, as that's his way. He'd probably hang out in a pride march with the bros and the wife and just enjoy the vibe. He'd be wearing a demi shirt and Sel would wear the poly pride one.

But once he got home he'd head back up to Five because he and EOS monitor as many pride events as possible and keep an ear out for trouble, any abuse slinging, live streams, CCTV etc to make sure that everyone is safe and that help can be directed where it's needed asap. That's his way of supporting, by making sure that those who want to speak up and be heard can do so safely.

Thanks for the questions!

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stormblessed95 · 1 year

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Whenever some one say they think JK is straight queer army jump upon them saying why you want JK to be straight so bad. BUT why you all want him to be gay so bad ? Imagine writing long posts and asks about 'queercoding' based on things you projected on him when in reality he may have dated multiple women already or is hooking up with some women. This is not me saying he's a fucboy or Heartbreaker. He maybe romantic at heart but his present job and situation doesn't match with that. This is just the reality of most of Kpop idols who doesn't have time for real relationships or can support their partners for a long time. Most will just fuck out their feeling out of the system and pretty much stick to short term dating or hooking up. And I can really see and feels that he's into that kind of relationship atm. Maybe in his late 30s he may find a true love and marry her who knows. I, as a straight woman (who definitely not secretly wanting to date JK lol), can definitely see why majority feel he's straight, because he is, simple .

"As a straight woman" was unneeded as a clarification here love because I promise, it was sooooo very obnoxiously obvious. I'd appreciate it if in the future you didn't feel the need to just shove your straightness in everyone's face. I personally don't MIND that you are straight. But the constant need to just express that to everyone else is alot you know? Some things should just be kept to yourself and be private. Okay? Thanks for being so understanding!

There is a lot anon could unpack here honestly. But ya know, hopefully she gets there on her own eventually.

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akookminsupporter · 1 year

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This fandom in general is not only jikookphobic, it is also Jiminphobic and Jungkookphobic too.

Oh honey you have to realize one more important point, pretty sure Fandom, atleast many in fandom, is NOT jungkookphobic. But Jiminphobic. Many either blatantly or secretly HATE jimin. They cannot bear anything good happening to him. If it was jungkookphobic then we won't see people having no problem in announcing Tkk couple or praise namkook as much as they want - the great crush story.

Don't know whether u will read or post this because its long but it's all fact and surely not any hate against any members

Just look at patterns :

1. Jimin in 2018 sets a record for highest viewed fancam ever, trended fancam for days, purely based on his talent and dancing. 1st fancam to start this fancam streaming culture. Next year onwards bitter stans began mass streaming their favs fancam, buy ads etc to increase views. We have a literal example of an ex Jimin anti saying she viewed Jimin as an enemy because he stands out too much in group and his bond with JK. He's the member who brings most fans to Fandom/ go viral among locals but nope it's X and Y member who's popular.

2. Jimin is knows for his dancing skills even outside the Fandom, rest Fandoms praise him for dancing. But ARMYs can't stand that. For one Jhope is a terrific performer. But when someone is talking about Jimin's dancing they immediately bring Jhope to pull down Jimin, saying Jimin told hobi is best dancer. Like susan what do you expect Jimin to say ??? 'Yes I'm the best dancer of the group' ??? So you can call him rude ?? Go through their recent performance videos you will rarely see a comment praising Jimin's dancing and if anyone say something next moment they are corrected by - but hobi... the recent MMA plaque dancer award for Jimin is latest example on how this Fandom hate when Jimin is recognized for his dancing is.

3. Jimin without any vocal training from company debuted as the Lead vocalist of BTS and share 2nd most lines after JK until recently. Again take a performance video or lyrical video you will see people PRAISING rest 3 vocalists. Everyone happy until someone praise about Jimin's vocals. Suddenly it's too high pitched to them, too much autotune, too many lines for him, they prefer Tae's vocals, Jin should have that lines etc. Now tae won a vocal award in MMA Everyone happy, no questions but imagine Jimin winning it ???

4. Jimin being so fucking close with Jungkook and possibly having romantic relationship with him. One of the major source for Jimin hate - 'The great Jikook' lol. No way Jimin, out of all members, can have jungkook, no way their bond is pure, it's all fanservice, why would JK select Jimin when Tae exist, if JK is in relationship with any band member its Tae. No one calls out anyone who's praising namkook's crush but good God mention GCFT is for Jimin you 'disrespected' JK's work. Everyone and their mommas happy when it's Tae paired with JK but can't stand Jimin existing in same place with JK.

5. All members interact with fans, all of them do this lil flirty FS thing, all of them smile at them and talk sweetly. But rest members doing it is so sweet and nice while Jimin, Godforbid, smile politely at someone he's a FLIRT. He maybe just existing simply still he's portrayed as a flirt, pervert and womanizer in edits and comments and it became normalized to the point uts acceptable to call Jimin any names. No way he's polite and welcoming to someone right, everything he do is with a ill intention that is to flirt with them like the fuckboy he is. The only point everyone in fandom come together is to call him flirt or to say he's making men gay because of 'Jimin effect'

6. Jimin not being so masculine according to societies standards. And i have SEEN many hate him for that. Hate him for being queer, embracing his femininity saying how he's not manly enough for them to like him. I've even seen many saying stylists are purposefully putting him in those outfits and makeup for queer coding, it's his persona given by bh, hes making other boys gay or making them uncomfortable by his gay behavior and that's friend what is homophobia. Rest fandoms openly being homophobic and transphobic to him and treating him like a slut of the group. I/we have SEEN it.

7. Jimin being always portrayed as the weaker one in group. For this they exaggerate other members physical and mental strength as if it's a competition. One, Many conveniently forgets he's blackbelt in taekwondo, have years of practice in kendo and other marital arts. You can see them eliminating him from kpop idols with a blackbelt but insert JK who doesn't have a black belt, Because it's JK who's more bulked up and masculine than Jimin isn't it. Two, he's still the ome insecure in his body and visuals who needs validation from others. He used to have some insecurity I agree but so did rest members and they have spoken multiple times about it. But only Jimin is considered insecure, who still starve everyday to look good while all he's doing is working out and maintaining a diet like most celebs in entertainment field and like rest of boys. He is mentally strong af to withstand all the hate he's getting. Jimin is past that insecure stage but Fandom is not.

8. Criminal underestimatation of him as an artist. I've literally seen discussions on reddit on what Jimin will do when BTS starts a solo career. He is so versatile and can carry himself well but nope that's what make us jealous so we will question his survival in industry. He's not doing several other variety projects like rest boys at present, because HE CHOSE NOT TO but nope it's because Jimin is useless apart from group and can't survive in this industry on his own. Jimin tops brand reputation every fucking months- and it's rigged. Jimin's insta followers - bought, jimin broke record of most iTunes #1 - irrelevant. Like every achievement of him as an artist is underestimated.

So yep, MANY MANY in this Fandom hate Jimin or is just including him for this ot7 love all members kumbaya but when in reality hate him and thinks he's unworthy of praising for his talents, Jungkook, his stans and other good things.

It really really hurt when that producer wrote 2 days before - how much he (JM) loves bts army because in return he's getting jealousy of many bitches here. But hey atleast he has many people who genuinely loves him right 😪🤞 who doesn't care if he feed the shippers or not, is gay/straight, is beautiful or not, is giving them content every two days or not.

It's probably my imagination but the 'oh honey' at the beginning of your ask sounded condescending.

While I agree with several of the things you mention in this ask, I disagree with you when you say that this fandom isn't jungkookphobic as well. Because it is. Maybe it's different from how they react about Jimin but this fandom in general, on an individual level doesn't like Jungkook very much because they are envious of him, because they think he doesn't deserve everything he has, what he gets and the praise he gets.

I was not referring to Jungkook with another member, I am talking about Jungkook only. The individual. The Solo artist.

For the above, I reiterate what I said, this fandom is Jungkookphobic too.

#anon #ask #fandom #jiminphobics #jungkookphobics

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