#or its aphobia

[the-agent-of-blight]

also, i really find it interesting how people can genuinely go about saying "Well this group isn't attacked for their identity so they can't be queer " while then turning around and. attacking said group. for their identity. and exemplifying classic __-phobic tropes. It's really dumb. You are being the thing that you claim does not exist

#this post is about the current aro discourse nonsense going about but is absolutely more generally applicable. #aromantic #aro #idk about anyone else but i always find the aphobia at least a little bit validating? in a weird way. because they're always saying #'you arent queer if you arent oppressed' or whatever bs. so whenever they turn around and. and attack us for being aro its like #they're showing me (and the rest of everyone) why i must be queer. by their own logic

[redysetdare]

Fandoms can be so blatantly aphobic and the moment any aspec person points this out it's "stop ruining our fun!"

Fandom erasing an aspec character and it's "The character didn't have a canon sexuality" "People have different headcanons!" "let people have fun!"

Fandom ships an aro/aroace character and erasing their aromanticism and it's "some aro people date!" "it's actually a QPR (lie)" "You're homophobic!" "Who cares? let people have fun!" "It's not hurting anyone!!!" "You're just hating on my ship!!! you're starting ship discourse!!!" "It's just a ship it's not real!!!"

Fandom will purposefully make characters they dont like "Heartless" "Unlovable" "they dont feel love" and justify it with "They're awful and terrible and evil" and "no it's not aphobic! you're aphobic actually for assuming these are connected to aspec people at all uwu"

Fandom will create soulmate AUs and when aspec people express how aphobic those AUs tend to be they throw a fit and say "it's just fiction! it doesn't hurt anyone!" "Platonic soulmates exist!!!" "You're just a hater!!!"

it's always "Stop ruining OUR fun" ignoring the fact that the are actively hurting aspec communities by consistently pushing and normalizing aphobia and amatonormativity within fandom spaces. Because aphobia is their fun. They don't want us in their spaces unless we conform to their comforts.

#text #fandom #aphobia #aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #loveless aro #loveless #this is mostly aro and ace specific becuz its what i have experienced but aplatonics an other a-attractions feel free to add ur experiences #im sure there are a ton against you guys that i just havent seen #romance mention

[parksrway]

multiple times now I've seen people genuinely claim that the solution to aphobia is for asexual and aromantic people to stop talking about their asexuality and aromanticism. if you think like this you need to be put in a meat grinder like actually

#'yeah guys the solution to aphobia is for aces and aros to just shut up!!' what if i destroyed everything you loved actually #and i assume the solution to homophobia is for gay people to stop talking about their homosexuality right? #same thing with transphobia? #yeah guys the solution to your discrimination is to just stay in the closet!! thats totally a normal thing to suggest!! #oh no suddenly thats homophobic and transphobic to say #but its fine to say it about aces and aros bc everyone hates us i guess #aphobia #asexual #aromantic

[muchmossymess]

Why is everyone here so obsessed with sex and romance why can't you appreciate the comedic genius of "rivals who fight about parenting to rile the other up to begrudging coparents who bicker like a divorced couple to actually maybe tolerating the other and the insults are now less spiteful and biting to hells first qpr (queerplatonic rivalry) to hells first qpr (queerplatonic relationship)"

#like. gah. there is so so so many interesting ways to take this dynamic and you chose kiss and fuck #i can excuse the aphobia but i draw the line at ooc dynamics (ITS A JOKE A REFERENCE A JOKE I DONT EXCUSE APHOBIA) #sigh #i can excuse all the smut to a point but like. you took the (ONLY) canonically sex repulsed character and made him fuck the dilf #and you didnt even make it an exploration of sexuality with the realisation sex isnt necessary for a relationship #or that its ok to actually hate sex #(when it involves yourself. so long as its safe sane and consensual its not really your business) #ughbkembaalgk ive lost my train of thought i think its late but yeah im just a lil pissy about the casual aphobia #dont even get me started on the blatant stuff ffs #radiostar #radioapple #appleradio #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #moss' madness

[taxi-boi]

the vees are so funny because you know val would say some aphobic shit like "what do you MEAN someone can form meaningful bonds that transcend sex and even romance but especially sex. what do you MEAN not everyones lives revolve around fucking and sucking or atleast like loving if your into that shit"  (romance nuetral arospec allosexual)

meanwhile his on again off again boytoy fuckpartner vox has never truly been sexually attracted to anyone in his life (high libido sex positive ace demi-aro with a propensity for alterous attraction *cough one-sided radiostatic cough*)

and the both of them are in a commited platonic/business relationship with velvette who has absolutely no sexual or romantic interest in either of them (idk if shes a lesbian or aspec or bi and they're just not her type in that way; but its all the same result)

and yet none of them view their partnership as anything below or lesser than compared to the romantic and sexual relationships they do have. if not outright being more important than those (QPR-cule) 

and ofcourse vox and vel will be standing right alongside valentino as he says this, nodding along without a hint of sarcasm or self awareness because they also genuinely think they believe the same thing.

and if you try to point this out to any of them (and somehow convince them that what they have going on is queer platonic and aspec in nature) they'll just be like "yeah but we're The Vees, we're overlords, we can just do whatever the Fuck (or lack there of) we want" and you know what they're right

#and vox wonders why alastor rejected his -business- proposal #alastor also doesn't really know hes aroace but he knows enough not to show up in val-centric episodes #i need to write fics for those fr fr #ok so tags.... #hazbin hotel #the vees #polyvees #valentino #vox #hazbin vox #hazbin velvette #hazbin valentino #velvette #staticmoth #voxval #wont tag individual velvette ships since its explicitly platonic #onewaybroadcast #asexual vox #i sidnt mention it in the post so i wont tag it but broker doll is part of this in my soul #mythinks #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aphobia #god what a combination of tags #suggestive #this is honestly my least deranged take / headcanon for hazbin #not my fault every character is aspec thats just a coincidence #diversity win the worst people you know etc etc

[gayarograce]

Man aphobes will really see the most obviously bait post ever and then proceed to strawman the hell out of us while claiming we arent oppressed or arent queer or w/e aphobic bullshit they feel like spouting, huh?

#this post is about aceggot and arobot btw #it honestly shocks me juat how few people are able to see the blatant acephobia in the warm milk post #*just #and also that arobot post. like. its so obviously a troll. and yet aphobes love to use it as evidence that were not oppressed #i probably have more to say about this but im tired and cant really collect my thoughts well enough to write more so ill leave it at that #asexual #ace #acephobia #aromantic #aro #arophobia #aphobia

[ohara-n-brown]

Some of y'all be like 'eat the rich' then turn around and be classist when you don't like someone.

Same way y'all hate bodyshaming and fatphobia until you personally need to insult someone.

Same way y'all hate ageism then running to someone's bio to check their age.

Same way y'all hate aphobia but uh-oh someone is a little bit irritating then they need to get laid. Suddenly being a sexless virgin is bad. They've got no bitches and that's bad.

Love to talk about the benefits and beauties of online communities and how important they are until someone annoys you then it's go touch grass

Love to talk about mental health until you got beef now they're a 'narcissist' and 'delusional' and they need to 'get help' and don't get me STARTED on how people love using the word bipolar

Cant believe in saying this but y'all need to learn how to insult people better

cause mfer WE CAN HEAR YOU. You're not serving what you think you're serving

Always want to talk about how someone 'probably looks like' or what they 'should be doing' or whether they're 'unstable' or not.

Quit being ridiculous. Quit being a hypocrite and calling it cunty. Knock it off!! Learn how to read someone correctly or go home!!!

#time for another abelism rant #i hate reading though beef and being like word word #then they start using insults that are kinda rude to a group of people #and I'm like oh wait hold the phone homie EW #Start insulting me and mines and we ain't even in this like huh 😭 #it's not just on here its EVERYWHERE #Someone makes you a little mad BOOM #they switch to AAVE (not black) and start bodyshaming #be normal about poor people #be normal about fat people #be normal about ace people #and cluster b people #be normal PLEAS #rant #classist #classism #aphobia #asexual #asexuality #bodyshaming #fatphobia #ageism #mental health #anti-'narcisstic abuse' #cluster b #BPD #bipolar #NPD #disability #actually disabled

[genderfcker]

just saw the insane take on that aphobic post that's traveling around that lesbians and bisexuals are the ones that built the queer community which is INSANE. anyone who's spent any time reading anything about stonewall and the queer community here in the us knows that its transwomen.

women like marsha p. johnson and sylvia rivera are the reason we can publicly call ourselves lgbtq+ today. and women like them truly understood community and intersectional feminism in a way terfs could only dream of.

on that note: any asexual or aromantic person is automatically queer, and fuck you if you think people like us are a burden on our community—because, in all honesty, it's the other way around.

#aphobia #transphobia #aromantic #asexual #marsha p johnson #sylvia rivera #transgender #trans #history #stonewall riots #its like how do u ever get to a point where u can just ignore history like that #do you not know ur roots

[kenobihater]

apparently if you pressure astarion into sex after his confession in act 2 he'll straight up dump you, which makes me happy to hear because he's developing his boundaries and relearning self worth. it's a hard scene to watch (and one i could never bring myself to play through personally), but i'm really glad the developers included it bc your actions should have consequences and you shouldn't be able to treat the characters like shit and have them still fawn over you. also, he says THIS in response to tav saying that he seemed to be enjoying himself, and i don't think he could get more explicitly ace unless he had a big blinking neon sign on his forehead that read ACESPEC

#len speaks #astarion #bg3 #like i understand not everyone gets this dialogue (i sure didn't) but it feels bad to ignore his plainly stated identity tbh!! #idk. i'm very nascent in my gray ace identity but its not nice to see people straight up ignore his identity for their own gratification and #pleasure (like the drow scene tbh. not a fan of that) #like at the end of the day its a video game and he's fictional and you can do whatever you want forever but his asexuality means a lot to me #and ik i'm not alone in that. so i think allo ppl should be aware and respectful of that and at the LEAST not spew aphobia or anything #like the bar is in hell but it's still not being cleared. thankfully i havent seen very much of that at all firsthand but i do not trust #this website to be normal abt characters like him lol

[redysetdare]

When a gay character is turned straight it's callout for the erasure it is

When an aspec character is turned into any other sexuality then we're over reacting and "x character didn't have a set canon sexuality so they can change it all they like"

#text #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #its so frustrating to see other queer ppl throw aro and ace characters under the bus #its even worse when people pull the 'actually UR aphobic because FAVORABLE PPL EXIST' #like fuck you i hate you dont use part of the aspec community as a shield for ur aphobia

[tsams-confessions]

I love reading this blog but as an ace person why is solarmoon such a big deal? This show isn't really popular in terms of mainstream media and is just a subculture of a subculture, why are we not focusing this energy into Jughead from Archie not being aroace anymore and removing that from the comics that seems like it's worth the effort and debate.

I'm sorry but Davis and Reed don't have as much power over the influences as you all think they do they just have control over the world they built that wasn't even entirely there's in the first place.

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood #im going to assume that you're asking genuinely #aro erasure isnt less bad just because its less mainstream aro erasure #people can do two things at once. we can be mad about archie/riverdale and *also* be mad about the rampant aphobia in this fandom #imo solarmoon itself isnt the problem. its that people are getting harassed for calling an aromantic character aromantic #idc if people ship solarmoon i just want people to stop being cruel to people that dont

[triptych-of-voids]

another question, but would the doc know his own sexuality? you headcanon him as aroace (i could be mistaken but eh i'm pretty sure he's aromantic as well as ace) but does he know? if not then i think it's funny giving him pins of flags and he's like "thanks!! uh..what does this mean, exactly?"

ah!! very good question!!

the first definition of asexual we have comes from 1897, the term aromantic did not really arise until 2002, and the aroace flag as we know it was not created until 2018! so if you were to hand him an aroace flag he would not know what it meant until you explained it to him, nor would he actually refer to himself as aroace. regardless of the time period however, he would know his own preferences and experiences even if he didnt have a term for it.

#oughh and dont even get me started on what i could say about internalized aphobia................ because i do have many thoughts about it #and before anyone asks. doc is it weird talking in third person #you get used to it #so not really #its kinda fun sometimes! you should try it #anyway #isnt it wonderful that we have to power to invent terms for things so that we can all understand the world a little better #and isnt it equally as wonderful that you can label yourself however you want #including not even using labels at all of you dont want to!!!!!! #so cool to me #the doc is in #replies from the void #tf2 #aroace

[styrofauxm]

I have a theory.

I think that the reaction so many alloromantic people have to arospec people's posts pointing out common kinds of amatonormativity is more defensive than earnest.

Whenever we speak about something harmful in society's concept of romance, we are inevitably met with "x doesn't have to be romantic."

The more cynical part of me reads that as "there's still a way to make you palatable to me, just conform to the same standards differently." But that's probably not fair.

Instead, it's probably that alloros don't want to let go of those toxic ideas. Most of them are deeply ingrained into society. Letting go of those ideas means admitting that something treated as truth for your entire life is a lie.

So instead, they try to rewrite those ideas to "include" us. (They don't include us. Instead they shove us into a box and ignore aplatonic and loveless people, but that's besides the point). Because that's more comfortable than admitting something you are strongly attached to is fake.

I'm not writing this to defend alloros who say those things, by the way. I'm writing this for alloros to read and hopefully realize WHY they feel like they need to say those things, rather than actually address what we've said.

If you adore soulmate stories, it's understandable to get upset when they are criticized. But the harsh reality is that the concept of soulmates is built on dangerous ideas that harm everyone, not just arospec people. And that harm does happen in platonic relationships too.

If "love is the purpose/meaning/etc." is a saying that helped you, I get wanting it to help other as well. But it doesn't, and won't. You can keep it for yourself without applying it to others.

The list goes on. At the end of the day, all I, and I assume other arospec people, want is for you to critically engage with our statements instead of perpetuating aphobia.

#neon's void #aromantic #arospec #aspec #lgbtq+ #about aphobia #about amatonormativity #this is long and rambly and I appreciate anyone who actually read it #I'm sure there's flaws in some of our reasoning around those topics #love not just being romantic is not it #but its impossible for us to have discussions with allo people if they just attack other parts of our community #okay im done for now