#or more clownish

[markantonys]

r/wotshow is evil for putting the idea of a Matwyn Roadtrip Subplot in my head and making me be devastated when it inevitably doesn't happen (since leaving the white tower pre-coup with knowledge of elayne's whereabouts would interfere too much with gawyn's arc)

#you cannot know how much joy this would bring me!!! #mat should get one homoerotic roadtrip per season as a treat #and it WOULD be good to give gawyn more to do early on in the story...........no! i need to stop getting my hopes up! #wot #gawyn trakand #mat cauthon #wot book spoilers #this post also speculated that galad would already be a whitecloak when we meet him which i think is an absolutely clownish prediction #and that min would be in cairhien for no reason just bc OP wants her to monopolize even more of rand's time than she already does #but on the plus side it posited nynaeve meeting and befriending disguised moghedien at the tower which i do quite like! #there WAS someone cast as 'magdalena' which we've speculated is code for moghedien

[sweetstarart]

Here, have this silly lil orange outfit : )

#fanart #art #drawing #barnaby welcome home #barnaby fanart #barnaby beagle #barnaby b beagle #barnaby beagle fanart #barnaby my beloved #barnaby beagle wh #welcome home barnaby #barnaby b beagle fanart #barnaby beagle welcome home #barnaby b beagle welcome home #welcome home fanart #welcome home art #welcome home #this would be so much more clownish if i colored it in... #i gotta do something like that so yall can see what i see!!!

[egipci]

A J/D horror rec

Plano: Some Town Halfway In Between (~7.5k) by elsi (prince-of-elsinore)

The Tar Man first appeared to me in Plano, Texas. That was the summer before I entered sixth grade. In the summer of 1994, the Winchesters put a pause on hunting to hide from the law. But something found them, haunting Sam's dreams and waking hours. (CW: Psychological horror; Underage Dean)

(Bonus too-long/not-long-enough hopefully-non-spoilery thoughts under the cut)

I first read this story soon after it was posted under very (funnily) scary circumstances which I will not get into now, but I remember pretty early on, less than a quarter of the way through, feeling this false confidence, built on vivid and measured prose, that I can solve the case: What is this thing, and how will they get rid of it? Not only that, I was motivated to solve it, because I was genuinely scared, but also because I was hooked into the world right away, forced to engage with it in the way only a very good thriller demands. (Tar Man, I'm coming for you, and so on. I'm doing the work in my mind! I know you lose, I've watched this show!) This alone, that the world and its particularities are so richly conveyed from the onset, the slow-building dread that doesn't compromise momentum, is testament to how well-paced this story is and how much it accomplishes in such relatively little space.

Even with the mystery uncovered, the horror holds up remarkably well: the Tar Man is as viscerally terrifying as it was the first time. But more than the very effective spookiness it's the layered distance between the reader and the events recalled that truly stands out and makes rereading so rewarding. Sam narrates an episode from his childhood, in first person [gasp], many many years removed, and so in a way it is also a story about both little Sam and his isolation, and the older Sam engaged in retelling and the strange barriers our minds put up to handle the unbearable. We're constrained both by his memory, but also by how little access he had to the Dad-Dean unit (a fact unfortunately often underplayed in many pre-canon fic, and which makes Sam-POV-J/D particularly jarring for me to read).

And so it's only through watching Dean that we learn anything. It's not a voyeuristic watching; Sam is only ten or so, and more importantly there is no need for voyeurism. As Sam articulates early on, Dean and John are "all tangled up and stuck together like conjoined twins." Dean's being is so tangibly oriented towards his father that you don't really need to see them together. We watch how he tries to turn an unfinished house into a home, a habitable place for his dad, through a little side-plot involving some thrifted plates that is so moving and canon-feeling it has become my favorite series of scenes about Dean and John, ever. It's so rare that a story can deliver so much insight into Dean's emotional life and his vision of himself and his relationships and his obligation without explosive dialogue or tediously explicit interiority, let alone through the barrier of another character's perspective.

Of course that Sam isn't consciously voyeuristic doesn't mean I am not (because perhaps, like him, I am invested in quarantining the horror away from the tenderness I want to believe is there). In my latest read-through before writing this I was so taken by a brief, almost throw-away, moment of negative space towards the end of the story, in which Sam fucks up, unintentionally but very seriously, and really hurts Dean. John walks in and Sam is sent to wait alone in his room, where he "was alone up in that dark one-window room for a long time," and I found myself thinking I want to write that story, about John and Dean alone, and whatever secret comfort we don't get to see.

This is all to say: go read it, then read it again, and leave elsi a very nice comment!

#I generally don't do these because I don't want to compromise the clownish persona I've cultivated on this blog #but 'tis the season #happy halloween #there's a couple more stories I wanted to rec but time is as always against me #anyway #john/dean #or even #deanjohn #fic rec

[dullahandyke]

u dont need skill to diy accessories u just gotta b willing to loosely wrap a long metal chain around your neck like a transgender jacob marley

#was debating between wearing this chain as a belt or as a necklace but necklace is more practical #this is gonna kill as an addition to the clownish outfit

[enchanted-tatas]

Actually I'm kind of hitting a design roadblock with this building SO

Please reply with how you imagine clurch architecture appearing, specifically maybe ghbs big murder cathedral

#rambles #clurch #homestuck #friendsim #hiveswap #i need ti make it more Clownish #but im also limited to minecraft blocks

[academyofbrokenhearts]

Instead of Dancing Alone, I Should Be Dancing with You (I)

What if Kaya would have been fully open and honest with Suna during their talk in 44? How would it have changed things between them?

AU.

Author note: Probably slightly OOC for both Kaya and Suna, but I was very interested in exploring the possibility of them trusting each other from the beginning and being real allies (and more). I have no idea how long this will be, but I do plan to write more than one chapter.

Shout out to @lovecaitlined, for listening to this idea and encouraging me to write.

Title taken from "Out of Control", a song from She Wants Revenge. There are so many songs of theirs that remind me of this pair.

AO3 link here.

After the entire commotion has finally ended, and after listening at the door for a while to make sure everyone has retired for the night, Suna exits her room, trying to be as silent as possible.

She had time to think things through, after the humiliation caused by her father and the anger caused by Ferit and Seyran's comments eased up a bit. She doesn't really think she will ever be able to remember the entire incident without feeling extreme shame - not due to her actions, but because Kaya had to witness the hell that is her life at present.

Even now, she is not sure about her feelings for Kaya. She had felt hurt when he initially rejected her, but, after thinking things through a bit, she realises that it was probably as much for her benefit as it was for his. And then he really stepped up to help her, even though he didn't have to - it was not his battle to fight. But she can't drag him down with her. Attraction by itself, even mutual attraction, is not a solid basis for a marriage, and she hates even the mere idea that he might help her out of pity.

With silent steps, she approaches his window, and knocks once, twice, praying he hasn't gone to sleep. When he does not answer immediately, she knocks again, more insistently, and shortly after, the curtain moves, and he appears at the window, opening it as soon as he sees her.

"Suna?" he asks, slight surprise in his voice. "What happened? Did something happen?"

Just my entire life happened, is Suna's first, bitter thought, but she shoves it away. Kaya showed her kindness, and now it's time for her to show him kindness in return.

"I... I can't sleep," she responds, swallowing tightly. "I need to talk to you, because it can't go on like this."

At this, he sits down on the edge of the window, not taking his eyes from her.

"Okay," he says, "calm down. Let's talk."

"I am more calm now," she begins, carefully choosing her words. "I feel better. And I really want to tell you how grateful I am. Really, thank you. And... I also want to apologise, because... you really don't need to get married to me purely for my sake. I was afraid that dad would do something to you, and this is why I panicked and said what I said, but... don't feel like you have to do something. I will find a way, somehow. I will solve this matter, okay? What I mean, is that the marriage will not happen. So please relax, don't worry."

He listens carefully, without interrupting her in any way, and when she finally falls silent, he hops down the window, standing in front of her. They are dressed the same, Suna notices. Dark clothes, white shoes. Incredible how she can still notice these small details, with dread clutching her heart like this - because yes, she says she will find a solution, but can she, really?

"It will happen," he then says, gazing down at her, his voice serious, steady.

She blinks in surprise, because whatever reaction she had expected from him, it wasn't this.

"What do you mean?"

Kaya's eyes soften ever so slightly.

"Listen," he begins. "Suna. I need you to listen to me very carefully, and not take this the wrong way, because hurting you is the last thing I want to do."

An echo of the words he said in his room, Suna realises, and soldiers on. After the unexpected kindness he showed to her, listening to him is the least thing she can do.

"Tell me," she says.

Kaya takes a deep breath, looks at the night sky, then back at her.

"Whatever thoughts you have in your head," he says, "just erase them all. Whatever people have told you tonight, everything that happened. Erase everything. This is not about them, this is about me and you. And I need you to know that, in spite of not knowing you for long, I do believe you are one of the most genuine people I met. Maybe ever. So please tell me the truth: will this marriage work in your favour?"

Suna blinks again, this time in disbelief, because this. This is new for her.

Perhaps not that new though, she understands, remembering again the scene in his room, prior to their kiss, and the careful way he spoke to her.

He was actually giving her a choice - and she, not used to this, misinterpreted everything.

"I... I mean..."

"Go ahead," he says, and the gentleness in his tone is so obvious that Suna wants to cry. "Tell me what's in your head."

"It... I mean, it would obviously work in my favour, but-"

"Then this is what we are going to do," Kaya interrupts, determination in his voice. "We are going to get married, and to hell with them all. I'll have your back no matter what."

"But... but why?" Suna asks, completely incapable to process, because surely this can't be happening? Why would a man who was a stranger to her not so long ago derail his own life just for her sake?

At that, he smiles at her. It's a bit sad, this smile. An expression she has not seen before on his face, but she recognises it instantly. It's how she imagines she must look ever so often - when things never work in her favour, when she is always set aside, trampled over, when she does not have a say in her own life.

"Maybe it's because I admire you," he speaks softly, eyes glimmering. "Maybe it's because I look at you, and I see how brave you can be, in spite of everything they did and still do to you, and I think how rare this is. But ultimately, Suna, it's because I genuinely like you as a person, and I think we could be good for each other. You deserve to have a choice, and I promise you now that if you choose me, I will treat you well. There have been marriages starting from less than that, I am sure."

She doesn't even notice she's crying at first, but then he gets closer to her, and his fingers wipe her cheeks with the same tenderness like in his room, before the kiss. He doesn't kiss her this time around, though; instead, he keeps talking.

"I am not the best man out there, Suna. There are many things that you don't know about me. You said to me earlier that I could not understand because I grew up in London and had a different life, but... you know, my life wasn't that easy either. And you must understand that I never make promises to people I despise. I only make promises to people I respect. If there is anything you need to know for the time being, let it be that, and also the fact that no one can force me to do something I do not want to do. So don't worry about me being forced into anything. The choice is yours and yours alone. I have already made mine."

Suna presses her hand over her heart, because it's the first time he spoke to her so directly, and she can tell he means what he says.

A choice.

She has a choice.

Kaya waits for a bit, then when she fails to respond, he smiles again, all traces of sadness suddenly gone.

"Maybe I do need to do a better work of convincing you," he says, and turns around, approaching the green fence in front of them.

"What are you doing?" Suna asks, finally able to speak.

"Wait for it," he says, and, a few seconds later, he turns back, kneeling in front of her, a ring made of leaves in his hand, and Suna is dangerously close to crying again when he adds: "Marry me."

She can scarcely recognise her own voice when she answers:

"Okay."

#Yalı Çapkını #Yali Capkini #Kaya Sönmez #Suna Şanlı #Kaya Sonmez #Suna Sanli #KaySun #AU #fan fiction #Instead of Dancing Alone I Should Be Dancing with You #writing #made by me #me: what if I take the clown show and make it less clownish? #open and honest communication? in our dizi universe? more likely than you think #this is going to have multiple chapters

[beedreamscape]

I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural All I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me (.)

Reference and Pencil Sketch below (:

#my beloveds in clownish garb. bc I cannot shake off the circus man vibes off everytime I think of Quay #I'm not that good at drawing clothes but I plan to draw a few more with other styles of the clown couture #no jewelry bc..... im lazy but it would've suited them well #i thought of drawing the line art but my hand isn't as light with digital drawing yet #loquaerryn #laerryn x loquatius #loquatius seelie #laerynn coramar seelie #fanart #my art

[freebooter4ever]

if pittsburgh ever changes their 80s carpet i probably will get lost

#journal shit #i always get to the airport way too early when im on my own #long long time ago i used to drive my team to the airport for conferences #it was always more fun traveling in a group like that #and i was the person who knew the city's backroads inside and out #i could pick everybody up in each neighborhood and practically halve the time to the airport #we would stack our bags in the trunk like tetris and everyone would cram into my tiny blue fire demon car #very clownish :)

[lanotteviene]

tell me why did I trust how much of these hills is gold even after knowing it had blown up on TikTok....

#why is this family of immigrant laborers from southern china (given the 1840s-1860s background) speaking mandarin #when realistically they should have been speaking Cantonese? #this trend of western Chinese-descendants telling stories about traumas they didn't experience while erasing languages and experiences #that non-Han Chinese people and other asian people have gone through is very weird #especially concerning since it's done by otherwise very knowledgeable and inquisitive writers #like why are PoCs in this book treated like faceless background characters (despite this being a diverse take on the Wild West novel) #with magical and Good connection to The Land #while the white villains are nuanced and extremely detailed? it's also clownish to paint the white characters as overwhelmingly rich becaus #of their exploitation of The Land - which the PoC characters seem to find abhorrent and oppose to - when capitalism is a sickness that #catches everyone and the white protestant man #while more powerful than the black or latino man #was /also/ made to sweat and spit blood on a land that gave him nothing #no war but class war but I guess that's too hard to fathom! #(good book with strong plot choices here and there - the dad pov chapter was very very good and deserving of its own book imo - but yeah. i #was made for a puzzling read at times) #literature #how much of these hills is gold

[apocalyptic-dancehall]

[Looking the bingo post you reblogged]

I know what you are. Claptrap and Shadowtrap, now.

claptrap

by 'they could've been such a great character if they were handled differently' i mean like post-tales claptrap. my man was done dirty

DOUBLE BINGOOOOOOO

claptrap has a 100% chance on spilling soup on me tbh

he's very much obviously an airhead there ain't shit behind that blue-green optic

claptrap sounds like the kinda guy to have milk poured on a plushy of himself just so he could be slapped onto a wall

his papa issues are real and he needs some fucking help

this stupid yellow toaster gives me so many weird bizarre thoughts like holy shit (i'm pretty sure i've drawn him as a dragon at some point 💀)

shadowtrap

like i've said before he is so so based for calling out the pre-sequel vault hunters for the assholes they are <333 (i still love 'em tho but they deserved it)

he's not on the same level as claptrap in terms of blorbillity to me but i love him all the same

speaking of, gearbox please just put him in bl4 i am desperate and broke

literally every joke i make of him is him being an edgelord and.. HE JUST IS!!

HE'S SILLY JUST A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF SILLY

wet fucking cat on my doorstep (semi-derogatory semi-affectionate). soggy bitch

i chose the life support one as a joke because it'd be hilarious to see him weakly grab at me and going 'you bitch' as he flatlines lmao

anyways he needs some fucking help and a hug too. shady's also got papa issues

only things keeping me from kithing him on the head is that he's a big meanie and he'd punch me for trying. and he's like a foot (and three inches) taller than me i'd have to get on a stool to do it

#responses! #claptrap #shadowtrap #they're both just.. scrunkly #thank you for feeding my silliness once more ne0 i'm feeling a light to medium 'clownish' on the silly scale #💽

[starlyhta]

soooooo who had “geralt of rivia liam hemsworth recast” on their bingo card

#this show gets more and more clownish with time . #im only here for ciri aesthetic / content . :))

[faux-ee]

*looks at comments on bsd nikolai gogol's personaility database page* they are all fooled by his act so bad

#like no offense to other ppl's interpretations of nikolai but why does everyone presumes he's happy and good with ppl #ok I shouldnt be making assumptions when he only made two appearances in the manga but still #hes a selfish scheming weird gay disaster yall that high-energy facade comes from his idk. neurodivergence??? #hes ACTING as a COPING MECHANISM & as a pathway to achieving some grand goal of his that we possibly don't know yet #*screams* #anyway ENTP nikolai supremacy #I refuse to believe he who sees feelings as a social construct is an Fi user #and why would he be an Se dom #man's thought literally tortures him daily #if he's the kind to take an action and just doesnt think then he wouldnt #concoct such a complex plan to kill fyodor while appeasing his own conscience #goodness he practically screams ENTP #and if that theatric side is also just a mask and he reveals more to us later #he might even be an INTP underneath #Im not an mbti expert but I know an XNTP when I see one #hes literally. russian combination of dazai/chuuya #no I also have evidence *rummages in my closet* #dazai wrote in no longer human that he puts on a clownish mask to hide his internal shame and distaste for the world #chuuya wrote in some poem that in the war-torn world he's simply a clown in a circus. something like that #and in fallen angel(2009 movie adaptation of NLH) #chuuya walks up to yozo (dazai) and told him to leave him the role of the clown #since he isnt gonna be alive for long #NO but there are literally so much evidence that bsd gogol #'the clown' #is based on this recurring concept of a sad and broken man putting on an act #ALSO strictly speaking he's a jester #and the first well-known occurrence of a jester character #is in victor hugo's the man who laughs #said jester is even an INFP #gosh clowns are often more sad than funny

[musclegoth]

bleh. finally ripped off the bandaid and unfriended my ghoster. it’s hard for me to let go of people that i like. truly. like this is my actual fatal flaw

#but they gave me so many red flags and i already gave them a couple chances so it's like. the right thing to just end it here . right? #like im not gonna beg somebody to communicate with me. or to treat me like more than an object. fr #u either do that or you dont #ur either rockin wit me or ur just not rockin wit me #doesnt mean it doesnt fuckin hurt tho :/ #im still such a lenient person tho this has shown me. bc this clown did some very clownish and fucked up shit and i forgave them about it #but - improvement - i let them go before anything else clownish happened #1 strike policy. down from like 10 strikes. #so im doin aight #it'll be okay bro...there are other clowns in this world for u to meet and be disappointed by 🙄

[thewayofthemandalorian]

so i haven’t seen rings of power. i have, however, seen pictures of that one character “halbrand” and, um.......

#i know who he is #and it makes this all the more clownish behaviour #but this is very on brand for me #i know what i'm about

[wheretheeternalare]

trans ppl who are popular on twitter keep verging ever closer to saying that they think nonbinary people and/or pre-medical transition binary trans ppl aren’t really trans and therefore aren’t deserving of basic respect or accommodation lmao. gender dismissed as fake by both sides of the aisle!

#look i get it a lot of nonbinary people are cringe and nonbinary people as a category make things a lot more complicated #but much as I'd like to transition and be done with it i really am unfortunately neither male nor female #also these ppl are just repackaging 2016 tumblr transmed discourse within the guise of gender theory it rly is clownish

[nightowlqueen]

why the fuck did they sing the national anthem to open the pride festival concert

#it was clownish then tbh and even more so now