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#or multiple moments aimed at the same guy

valerinaswriting · 1 year

Text

a man like him.

synopsis: joel overhears young survivors question his ability to satisfy y/n, so he gives them many reasons to never question his abilities again.

pairing: joel miller x female reader

warnings: established relationship, possessive!joel, age gap (reader is in her early 20’s), oral sex (reader receiving), unprotected sex, rough sex, exhibitionism, swearing, choking, multiple orgasms.

joel never used to be the possessive type until you landed in his grasp. although he knew nobody could ever steal you from him, it was a quiet fear of his. that you’d wake up one day and wonder what the hell you’re doing with such an old man. but no matter how many times you’d reassure him, there was always something that threw him back into the crippling mindset.

like today. he overheard a conversation from two boys around your age that made his blood boil.

“look at her, how the hell did that old prick manage to pull her?” the young man says to his friend, shaking his head in what appeared to be disbelief as he watched you speak to one of the many friends you’d made at the boston QZ.

“i know, i bet he doesn’t even fuck her right. what old guy even knows how to fuck? especially when it comes to someone young like her,” before the two could say anything else, you spotted joel standing behind the two and a delicate smile graced your face. the boys then turned around, finally noticing joel standing there. they went pale in the face as you approached. knowing that he’d definitely heard every word they said based off the angry look joel was giving them. he could truly be terrifying when he wanted to be. you’d seen that side of him many times, but never aimed at you of course. he had killed many people. you don’t know how many, he tells you not to ask.

you stood on your tiptoes as you pressed your lips to his cheek, not realizing his displeased expression until you’d moved your head back.

he was still staring at them.

“joel, is everything ok?” you asked, tone worried as you followed his gaze and set your eyes on the two men you hadn’t even noticed before. he didn’t respond, his large hand wrapped around your arm as he led you away from the area. not questioning a single thing as it was crystal clear something there was bothering him a significant amount.

once the two of you had made it back to the apartment, you turned to look at him once he’d closed the door.

“are you mad because they were looking at me? because you know i’d never even think to-” you attempted to explain.

“i know you wouldn’t.” joel interrupted, and your gaze softened.

“so what’s wrong?” you ask once again, approaching him slowly while looking into his eyes. he eventually met your eyes after a moment.

“nothing that you need to worry about, doll.” he reassured, resting his forehead against yours.

“alright,” you say, the same soft smile reappearing on your face. “i’m just gonna freshen up a little, ok?” you add, pressing a swift kiss to his lips before approaching the bathroom. joel sat down on his couch, hands rubbing his face as he tried to forget about what he’d heard. which was almost impossible considering he heard those exact voices outside his front door.

the anger began to rise once again as he got up from the couch and paced towards the door, opening it quickly and immediately spotting the same smug faces he was mentally murdering moments ago.

they both gulped, eyes wide as they stood in front of the front door a couple of meters from his. they quickly entered the apartment to avoid confrontation. joel stood there for a moment, wondering what the fuck they were doing in the apartment right next to his. before he could do anything else, your voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“was someone at the door?” you ask, he turned his head to face you. looking at you adorned in one of his shirts. quietly admiring the way your body drowned in it.

“two boys just went into the apartment next door. was just wonderin what all the noise was.”

“the ones that you were giving the death stare to earlier?” you ask, a cheeky smile on your face. “i overheard them saying somethin about looking for a new place to stay not that long ago. i guess they found one.” you say, shrugging your shoulders as you stared at your boyfriend. he shook his head, trying to hide his displeasure to the information he’d just heard. “are ya gonna tell me why that bothers you or?”

“it doesn’t bother me,” he lies, their words repeating in his head again as he approaches and places his big hands on your waist. kissing your lips delicately. “just a little stressed i think,” he says as he places his mouth to your neck, the feeling of his rough stubble stabbing your skin in the most delicious way. you whined softly.

and that’s when he got the idea. the idea that would prove to those stupid boys just how good he fucks you. how stupid they were to underestimate his abilities and care when it came to your pleasure. he smirked against you, lips abusing your skin and his hot tongue trailing over your sensitive spots. his hands found your ass, squeezing your cheeks sadistically which caused a sudden gasp to escape your throat. normally, joel would place his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet in case people were around, the walls were paper thin, but this time he didn’t. you didn’t question it. you never questioned him.

“that’s it, let me hear your pretty sounds,” he says as he lifts you, your legs wrapping around his waist as he carries you to the bed.

he dropped you onto the mattress and hovered his frame over yours. his lips found yours once again, and you whined as his tongue slipped between yours. he knows how vocal you can be. even with his hand over your mouth or your head forcefully buried into the pillow, he can hear you crystal clear. he knew anyone nearby would be able to hear if he didn’t hush you, and that’s exactly what he wanted. for those stupid little pricks to hear how good he makes you feel. over and over.

his hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing the soft skin. you whined louder this time. you were so goddamn submissive under his touch, it drove him crazy.

he raised his stolen t-shirt up your body, exposing your torso as he lowered his head. trailing kisses all over your soft skin. you were addicted to the feeling of his stubble against you, he’d barely done anything and you were already a whimpering mess. his head trailed lower and lower. licking the skin above your panty line as he hooks his fingers into the edges of the fabric, effortlessly peeling them down your legs and throwing them off to the side.

he began peppering kisses to your inner thighs, the feeling his hot breath against your dripping cunt driving you wild.

“joel…” you whimpered loudly, legs trembling in suspense of the act that he was about to commit. you were expecting him to respond. something like “be patient” or “good girls know how to wait” but he didn’t, he latched his lips onto your clit, causing your back to arch off the bed. your hand flew to your mouth, biting down on the side to muffle your moans. but joel stopped.

“no, baby girl. let me hear you,” you nodded your head, staring down at him between your legs. noticing the glistening shine of your wetness on his chin under the dull lighting.

“good girl,” he said before diving back in. aggressively eating you out as he’s done many times before. tongue exploring every inch of your sex. your moans were quick to fill the room. your hands flew down to grasp at his salt and pepper colored hair, spreading your legs wider to give him as much access to you as possible.

“j-joel, i’m about to… i can feel it-” you whine breathlessly as your orgasm washed your words away. the sensation hitting you fast and hard as you convulse on the bed beneath him. loud whiny moans filling the room as you rode out your high.

he didn’t halt until your legs began twitching, licking up all of the cum you provided for him in exchange for the orgasm. he climbed back up your body slowly, leaving sloppy kisses up your stomach along the way.

he was proud of himself, knowing how good he could make you feel with little to no effort. enamored by the way your body reacted to his touches. he knew the boys would’ve heard everything he’d just done, but of course, he wasn’t satisfied just yet.

his hand wrapped it’s way back around your throat once his face aligned with yours, his stumble damp with your cum.

“all wet,” you said, smiling as your hand raised to his face. tracing along the wet area of his face. “wanna make somethin else wet too,” you added, moving the same hand between your bodies and palming his hardened cock over his jeans.

“where did you ever learn to be such a dirty girl?” he grunted, a slight smile on his face as he moved your hand and pinned it beside your head.

“we both know the answer to that,” you bit your lip as his grip tightened around your wrist, looking up at him through squinted eyes. he moved back to remove his shirt, licking your lips as he did so. you followed his steps and removed your own. clothes thrown carelessly to the floor.

he unbuckled his belt and pulled his jeans and underwear down, not bothering to completely remove the articles of clothing. he was getting impatient. he hovered over you once again, his large hands separating your thighs as far as they could go and lined himself up with your dripping entrance. he wasted no time, thrusting forward and impaling you with his cock with no warning. you screamed, hands flying to grasp his shoulders as he quickly set a brutal pace. your back arched off the mattress, pressing firmly against joels as he pounded into you.

“oh, f-fuck. joel!” you moaned, the wood of the bed frame clunking against the wall with each of his intense thrusts. he grunts into your ear sadistically, fingers leaving crescent shapes on your thigh as they dig into your skin.

“wanna feel you cumming around me, baby. think you can do that for me?” he asks, you nodded your head. tears dripping down your cheeks as the pleasure became too much for your body to cope with.

it didn’t take long for another orgasm to pulse through your body, legs trembling around joels torso as you chant his name. before you could process anything else, he’d flipped you onto your stomach. shoving his cock deep inside you once more as he held your hips to him. despite being extremely sensitive from your previous orgasms, you still craved more of him. your loud moans echoing off the walls as he took you from behind. you intentionally clenched your walls around him to coax an orgasm out of him. craving the feeling of his cum flooding into you.

you felt another orgasm approach as his thrusts became sloppy, indicating that he was also moments away from finishing.

“joel!” you moan, clutching the bedsheets below as the two of you came together. joel eventually stopped once your highs had subsided. he tiredly flipped you onto your back, tracing his rough fingers along your damp cheek.

“y’think anyone heard us?” you ask, voice breathy as your tired body rests comfortably beneath him.

“hard for ‘em not to,” he replies, tracing his finger along your bottom lip before placing a soft kiss there.

and it was safe to say they’d definitely heard based on the looks they were giving the two of you the following morning. joel smiled proudly, hand resting on your waist as the two of you walked past them, knowing he’d never have them questioning his abilities to pleasure his girl again.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #the last of us #the last of us smut #the last of us fanfic #tlou fanfic #joel miller fic

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krypticcafe · 1 year

Note

Reader/ Y/n coming back to base covered in blood and tortured while 141 + Alejandro had no idea where reader was since they left in the morning.

Reader is "the little sibling/adopted child that we must protect all cause" to the boys

Love your writing so much ❤️

As Long as I'm Here

rating: mature

pairing(s): platonic gn!reader x 141 + alejandro

warning(s): canon-typical violence, language, drugs and drugging, torture, blood, military inaccuracies, no use of y/n, no beta read

a/n: Hope you don't mind that I decided to put this all in one long fic, kinda struggled with the writing direction with this since I had to rewrite it multiple times and I had to cut it short so I'll probably make a part two?

synopsis: it's going to take a lot more than simple torture to keep you from going back to the 141.

Part Two is now up!

"I'll be back before they know it."

Those were the last words you thought to yourself before you hopped off the helicopter. You and a team of other capable members of SpecGru and the Los Vaqueros had left before the crack of dawn for a joint operation and anticipated coming back by the afternoon if things went smoothly. And of course, they didn't.

No, you couldn't be afforded such a luxury as seen by how you were overwhelmed in battle. You wish you could've said you did your best, but god dammit you should've checked before entering that building, thinking you could lure the enemy away from the rest of your team. Compared to the hours you spent strapped to a chair with nothing but fluorescent light and a buzzing in your ears to compliment the throbbing pain in your head, you started to prefer the option of joining the rest of your teammates becoming target practice instead.

It didn't help either that the people who caught you were sick bastards. You could deal with the punches, a kick to the crotch, the hair pulling, cigar smoke, the blades, and having your body slammed around the place. It was nothing compared to practice with the 141 and prior missions you had with them. But when the metal cart of syringes came out, you knew you were beyond fucked, even when you had a swollen eye, a busted lip, broken ribs, open cuts, and burns. They took it a step further and injected experimental drugs you were supposed to investigate, homemade concoctions as they lovingly called them.

By pure shitty luck, you only escaped because one of them was stupid enough to clean up after offering you a glass of water when you woke up after passing out, dropping and shattering it in front of you, and not bothering to clean up. When your guard left to go take a piss break, you threw yourself to the floor and tried to squirm your way to the glass, using a shard to cut through your ropes. Once your guard came back, you pretended to still be bounded to your seat, coaxing him to come closer as if you wanted to confess something, and slit his throat. From there, it was easy now that you had a gun.

Or at least it was supposed to be. Maybe it was the heat of the moment or the adrenaline of finally being able to move, but the drugs hadn't fully kicked in until now. Your whole world seemed to sway, or maybe it was just you. You couldn't tell, all that mattered was that you could fight. Based on the layout of the building you were in, you were still in the same area as you were before. It took more bullets than you would've liked to admit to take down the guards that were in your way, but how was it your fault when the only two thoughts in your head were 'Where the fuck is my stuff' and 'God I'm gonna puke'.

Whoever kidnapped you really didn't think things through. Security was tight on the second floor but the bottom floor just had a single guy in the kitchen messing with a bag of crackers. You aimed your gun at him and click!

Click!

Clickclickclick!

Shit.

Well that caught his attention. You ducked down right when he reached for his gun, tossing your empty one to the side now that you'd be doing this the hard way. Waiting with bated breath, you took your window of opportunity, lunging when he had to reload. You took him by such surprise that he fumbled to put in another magazine and that allowed you to knock the weapon from his hands and tackle him to the ground. The both of you struggled on the hardwood floors for what felt like hours, but it was only a minute at most. Even in your feverish, dizzy, survival-instincts-only state, you overpowered him and stabbed him with his own knife.

Towering over the body, you gasped for breath, feeling your lungs struggling to expand and contract if you didn't force yourself to focus on the task. Great, now you're sweaty, weak, bloody, and out of breath. Based on how your hands started trembling, your symptoms were getting worse. Pacing around the area, you found your bag on a couch and fished around for the radio, yelling out your callsign before the rest of them would discover why their friends were suddenly so silent over comms.

"Sending coordinates, get a chopper over to exfil ASAP. And a damn medic."

The 141 were back from their own mission when they had heard the news of your distress call. Ghost was on the verge of strangling one of men that was on the team with you if they didn't add the fact that you made a reckless move for the sake of the team. Ghost could agree that it was something that only you would do despite his constant arguing with you and his protectiveness over you. He'd keep an eye out for you from the shadows both on base and in the field, be the one to challenge you to push your limits during your sparring matches, make sure you were well-trained so you could protect yourself. And yet you would instead protect the 141's asses countless times.

Ghost was brooding in the helicopter, well, more like sulking after a mission with you and Soap. During the crossfire, he wasn't able to keep an eye out for his flank and see the grenade flying for him. In a desperate move, you shoved him out of the blast range with all your strength, landing you with a couple burns and injuries, but nothing fatal. You knew he was going to get moody afterwards, giving a knowing glance to Soap before turning back to Ghost and nudging his leg with your boot.

"Hey, L.T, you were in the British S.A.S, right?"

"..."

"Just answer the question! C'mon Ghost, for me? Pleaaaase?"

"Affirmative."

"So back then, if you were to get bathroom duty, would they call you a Loo-tenant?"

"... negative. Was promoted after joining the 141." He turned his head away, and despite his blunt, by-the-book response, you knew he was smirking under that mask of his, especially with how Johnny and you were both snickering your asses off.

"Ghost?"

Simon snapped out of his thoughts and looked back at Soap, visibly concerned for the masked man but reading him all at the same time. Years of working together helped Soap get over the boundary of Ghost's silence and stoicism, and Ghost wasn't the only one looking out for you after all.

"You alright, L.T?"

"Solid, just need a talk with Price."

"I know what you're thinkin', and as much as I'd love to shove it to the bastards, they're going to need us when they come back. Price will come up with something, we just hafta wait 'til then." For once, Soap was the voice of reason and Ghost couldn't argue with his point.

"He's right, you know." Price stood a few feet away from the two in the hall, "Kid's capable of themselves but they're going to need a shoulder to lean on when they get here. Maybe a couple stitches, too."

Price hoped it was only going to be a few stitches. Though he knew it probably wasn't the case. Alongside Roach and Gaz, he had trained you for these situations, ensuring it would never happen and it never did thanks to his mentorship. He saw you as one of his own and ensured that you'd be able to fight tooth and nail so that it would never end up like this. But now that it has, he could only wonder what could've been done to you for you to get captured.

He didn't want to wonder.

"Bloody hell, what did they do to you?" Gaz muttered, watching as you stepped down the ramp with a soldier aiding at your side. There was an attempt to bandage you up on the way, though it only seemed to be temporary since your bandages were already stained with blood and some of it oozed out. Even the bandages around your head didn't stop the crimson liquid from spilling down the side of your face. The soldier passed you to Gaz, immediately urging that your injuries be tended to.

"Something's wrong, look." Roach helped support your other side to allow Gaz to examine you.

With a closer look, Gaz found that your pupils were disturbingly dilated, eyes glazed over in a way that made you almost look dead. You were muttering and mumbling nonsense under your breath, something about the mission and wanting to go home.

Gaz swallowed an anxious breath and nodded, "We'll get you home soon, buddy. Roach, help me take off their gear."

As soon as the other man began unclipping your vest from your body, it seemed something had pulled a trigger in you.

"No... no you're not- don't fucking touch me-!" You slurred, weakly tearing yourself from the hands of your friends. It surprised Gaz that you had the energy to punch his chest with that much force, but it broke his heart all at the same time. Roach guessed that you were so out of it that you could barely comprehend your surroundings, hell, you probably thought you were still in captivity. It hurt to imagine your perspective, and how vulnerable you felt, thinking they were your enemies.

"What's going on here?" Price's voice rose over all the noise as people tried to calm you down, Soap and Ghost following behind him along with Alejandro, who joined them with no hesitance after hearing what happened.

Roach approached them, "I don't know, the Sergent just came back like this, like they're in some kind of haze."

"They're drugged, at least, I think. I took a look at them and they don't even look like they recognize us," Gaz struggled to keep you from falling but you were insistent on getting away from him, from everyone. Thankfully, Ghost had come up from behind you without being noticed and locked you in a hold. You tried to flail even more, but with your weakened state and Ghost's strength, all you could do was yell with sloppy words for him to let go of you. It hurt them all to hear you yowl and yelp like an animal in pain, but they knew that you'd only hurt yourself more if Ghost didn't keep you like this. He forced himself to ignore your cries and clenched his jaw, focusing on keeping his temper and how he was going to let it out when given a chance.

"Steamin' Jesus, Price, I thought this was a cartel recon mission?" Soap seethed at the thought of what might've happened. Torture was one thing, but it was this whole new level of "fucked-up" that had him wanting to snap and tear at the throats of your tormentors.

"It was," Alejandro spoke up, "There was talk of a new drug on the market, released even though it was 'incomplete'. Nobody know that it was more dangerous than it was supposed to be, nobody outside of them." The words left a sour taste in his mouth. Cartels being reckless was nothing new to him, it was something he had seen time and time again. But it was the lack of awareness, the blatant disregard for safety and society, and how they betrayed their own people that made him livid. As a leader, he emphasized his loyalty and dedication to his soldiers, which was why he considered those who worked for and with him to be friends or even family, like you. So to him, if someone had messed with you, they were messing with him and his army as well.

Price glanced in the direction of you and Ghost for a moment, watching you finally begin to calm down from tiring yourself out. His gaze softened after you finally went limp, but still breathing, and he felt a pang of disappointment in himself for the briefest of moments. Maybe if he had known you'd leave so early in the day, he could've better prepared you. Maybe he should've assigned one of the others to join you so you wouldn't be in this predicament. But he didn't know. He didn't expect things would go this far south. None of them did.

"We'll finish the job first and then," Price took one last look as you were taken away on a stretcher, unconscious but writhing with a pained expression.

"We give them hell."

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amarthine · 7 months

Text

𖦹 synopsis. dating headcanons w the main four — how they treat you in a relationship.

disclaimers. none

note. first post !

butters stotch.

butters is truly a real sweetheart, but he is obviously and unfortunately very gullible at times.

cartman being the one whom sets up the whole thing.

he still gets grounded alot, but not as much. Yet his parents find reasons to still do it anyways.

Sweet boyfriend, friend, and person to be around overall.

definitely asks the guys on advice on how to approach you.

they ripped on him for his blooming crush on you obviously.

shocked when they found out that Butters managed to be bold and actually succeeded in asking you out.

when you guys had your first kiss he got so flustered and blushy, muttering “oh gee”s and such.

hand holding turned into cuddling, and then turned into kissing, and then all three became regular to almost everyday things.

good relationship, for the most part.

eric cartman.

oh my!

an interesting person to date, though it is surely an experience.

he’ll tone down the taunting and insults, he truly does like you after all.

It was shocking when you two got together, shocking. Especially to Kyle.

i mean, he could be really sweet. but he’s still cartman.

he actually get jealous pretty easily, hes also just a very controlling person, someone who wants things to be done his way, or to have authority over someone. he manipulates situations almost daily just because he doesn’t like how something turned out.

absolutely kept his crush on you a secret, but his friends eventually found out.

he can be somewhat sweet in very, very rare moments, even if he acts he absolutely hates it, still does it.

after your first kiss he was stunned for a moment.

he was surprised at himself, but said his small and weak goodbyes and went home.

he enjoyed it though, even if it was just a quick peck.

kenny mccormick.

one of most perverted boys you’ve met so far.

this man is NASTY with the things he say under his parka.

he was smooth when he came up to you, but was somewhat nervous.

same as the last two, absolutely got roasted when they found out his crush on you.

surprisingly, you were the one to initiate the first kiss.

he can’t afford taking you on dates but hes a resourceful guy when he wants to be, and he could come with some good ideas.

he works at city wok, so he earns at least okay money often. Enough for most basic essentials.

can be very flirty and romantic at times, a caring boyfriend most of the time.

you take care of Karen often, even bring both of them food sometimes.

Hes a very physical man which is is relatively obvious, always holding you, your hand, anywhere really.

Just loves being around you in all honesty.

Has definitely visited you as Mysterion before, even before you two started dating just so he can try and shoot his shot.

kyle broflovski.

he is such a great boyfriend, hes just soo

took almost half a year to confess to you, his friends kept ripping on him, and he just caved in after the taunting got to him.

study dates are a regular thing, even then you two can get a little bit distracted.

first kiss was genuine and sweet, yet quick, and it felt like it was from the movies.

Stan never lets Kyle live it down for that one time he got caught gawking at you. ( he does it all the time )

he can get flustered a bit more easily than the others, but also wont be phased by much due to all things he experienced in his childhood.

Kyles tall, quite tall, yet no one questions because hes in basketball.

due to his height, he is really skilled at the sport, not only because of his height but also because of his great aim.

cartman has tried to ruin the relationship multiple times, and kyle shut that down real quick the first time it happened.

as we’ve seen, kyle has a tendency to lose his patience fast so that could lead to him sometimes snapping at you or anyone around him. though afterwards he apologizes tons.

“Im so sorry you didn’t deserve that im such an asshole—.”

amazing boyfriend though. :)

stan marsh.

interesting boyfriend.

he can often neglect you unintentionally due to his bad habits and unfortunate mental issues, especially after watching his parents as he grows up. he fears the same would happen to your relationship.

hes not the best at communicating his feelings with you, but if something serious is bothering him, he will tell you you.

he always just shows up at your house late in the night always because he “misses you.”

unlike the other 4, nobody except kyle found out about stans infatuation with you.

Until you two got together, that is.

first date was at starks pond, mainly sitting together as you talked and talked for hours.

threw up after your first kiss, but he pretty much thought it was worth it.

he once gave you a cool little sea globe thing, where it had dolphins and a lighthouse.

you two listen to music alot together, its a bit of an intimate thing for you guys. even during intimate moments there even just the quietest music.

he tries his hardest to not mess up with you, so expect a lot of gifts, affection, and or drunk paragraphs into the latest hours of the night.

#southpark #kenny mcormick headcanons #kenny mcormick x reader #kenny mccormick #stan marsh headcanons #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh #butters stotch headcanons #butters stotch x reader #butters stotch #eric cartman headcanons #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman #kyle broflovski headcanons #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski

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your-averagewriter · 1 year

Text

"Don't close your eyes."

Summary: During the fight, (y/n) decides to go back to save Spider but ends up with a deadly injury, she just needs to not close her eyes. (Neteyam x fem!reader).

Word count: 1.6K

Warnings: creatures, death (kinda) kissing, violence, weapons, blood

Neteyam guides his ilu as I hold onto his shoulders making sure I don’t fall off. My ilu was injured earlier on in the battle so I can’t ride her. His ilu jumps out of the water and we both leap off of it into the deck of the boat right in front of Lo’ak, Tuk and Tsireya.

“Hey, baby brother.” He says, somehow with a smile.

I move over to cut Lo’ak’s ties as ‘Teyam cuts the others’. Lo’ak watches as I walk over to him trying to hide my very obvious limp.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers trying to be discreet.

“Nothing,” I say cutting his ties and moving on but he gently grabs my arm. “I’m fine,” I say, dismissing him as we all move on.

Tsireya and Tuk make a run for it at Neteyam’s command. I cut through his ties.

“Who’s the mighty warrior?” Neteyam teases him. “C’mon say it.” And even in the dire situation, his handsome face makes me smile.

Lo’ak runs back and grabs a discarded gun before both of us follow Neteyam. I stop running, but it’s not the pain that stops me.

“Spider, we’ve got to get Spider!” I say desperately. “They’ve got Spider!” I say and look at their doubtful faces. “I’m going,” I say quickly. “Go find Tuk and Tsireya.” I say scrambling up the deck.

“No, no, no!” Neteyam says quickly grabbing my arm again. “I’m coming too.” He says and Lo’ak nods before he all run into the ship.

We sneak through the ship, clinging to the airbags on the roof. I wave the two boys along and look at Lo’ak as I see him dangling the gun. The soldiers run past trying to evacuate the sinking ship.

Slinking through the shadows we hide behind the supplies avoiding being seen. I pull out a concealed knife and look at the boys' shocked reaction. Seeing Spider below surrounded by soldiers I waste little time. Jumping down from the roof boxes I slit one of their necks and kick another one (with my good leg) pushing him over the ledge into the sea. Neteyam jumps down then Lo’ak and both of them knock out some of them. I pull the oxygen mask off of one of the humans sufficiently killing them as Spider takes out some more. A soldier sits up and aims his gun at Lo’ak who quickly shoots him, successfully to all our surprise.

“Spider! You’re alive!” I say grabbing him as we all run out of the ship. I turn to look at my childhood best friend with a smile.

“Yeah, thanks to you guys.” He says and looks a bit weird because he’s wearing some weird jacket. I poke it and he just looks at me weirdly.

“What is this?” I ask chuckling.

“To help me swim, I don’t have a tail like you guys.” He says.

“We gotta go,” Neteyam says interrupting the little reunion. “It’s good to see you though,” He says patting him on the shoulder before running past him.

We see the colonel on a higher level from us, he lifts his gun but Lo’ak does the same trying to shoot him faster. I put my hand on his gun pushing it down as we all duck and run. We manage to get around a corner but multiple soldiers are shooting at us.

I grab the gun off of Lo’ak and badly aim it at the soldiers probably not even hitting them but it gives everyone a moment to get away.

“Go, go, go!” I yell at the others, Lo’ak and Spider run to the pool and dive into the water. I shoot some more. “Neteyam! Run!” I yell at him looking at him like he’s crazy.

“I’ll go when you go!” He yells over the gunfire and I groan at his persistence.

I shoot a few more times until I run out of ammo.

“We’ve got to go now!” Neteyam yells grabbing my arm and pulling him with me.

My wounded leg slows me down slightly but as I jump off the edge I feel a sharp pain in the back of my right shoulder. I hiss and trip, falling into the water ungracefully. My face contorts in pain as my hand reaches to my shoulder coming back adorned in blood. I swim desperately to the surface gasping as I start to feel faint.

My head feels so much heavier even though we’re underwater and my eyes roll back as I feel my legs slow. I hear celebrations coming from Spider and Lo’ak on the surface and I can’t help but smile at their joy-filled voices.

I finally make it to the surface and I start wincing at the pain.

“(y/n) are you okay?” Spider asks, worried.

“I’ve been shot.” I say in a tired voice and my hand reaches to the hole in my chest.

“Come on help her!” Neteyam yells as Tsireya rides her ilu up to us.

I’m dragged through the water by them all, I grip the ilu as they try and push me onto it. Spider sits at the back of the ilu and pulls me in front of him with the help of the others.

“Hold her up!.” Neteyam yells as he moves to sit in front of me to steer the ilu. The other two hold onto the sides of the ilu as I feel the ilu start to move. I feel my consciousness start to slip away as ‘Teyam pulls my arm over his shoulder holding me up. The ilu swims fast, faster than I’ve ever been before and I can barely see in front of me anymore. My view becomes blurry and the only thing I can hear is Neteyam yelling for help.

“Dad, help please!” Neteyam yells out, his voice wavering.

“Neteyam, I’m tired.” I say quietly into his ear as I feel my eyes shutting.

“(y/n) don’t close your eyes!” He yells. “Spider, keep her awake!” He yells and I feel Spider start to splash water at me and gently slap my face. I have to admit that it does wake me up a bit.

“Dad, it’s (y/n), she’s hurt!” He yells, I’m not Jake’s son but I’ve been friends with his children since birth and I’ve been dating Neteyam for years now so he knows how important I am to Neteyam.

I feel them lower me down into the ocean and drag me onto a rock. I splutter, spitting some of the water out as I find the strength to open my eyes to see Neteyam looking back at me.

Laying down on the rock I look at everyone hovering other me but only one of them has my attention.

“Put pressure on it!” Jake yells, Neteyam follows his instructions.

“(y/n) please keep your eyes open.” He says removing his hands from my wound, Lo’ak replacing them. “Please (y/n).” He begs, moving his hand to hold mine. He raises it to his lips and places a gentle kiss. “Stay awake.” He says.

I see Neytiri swoop down out of the sky and run towards my limp body. She kneels down next to Jake and assesses my wounds.

“It’s a shoulder wound.” She says. “It’s not fatal if we treat her now.” She says and I can only hear the commotion around me as they scramble to medicate.

“Neteyam.” I breathe out.

He lowers his head closer to my face so he can hear me properly.

“Yes, my love.” He says trying to feign calmness as I look into his beautiful yellow eyes.

“You’re so pretty,” I say feeling a small smile take over my lips.

“(y/n) please save your energy, focus on staying awake.” He says looking around desperately as his family rush to help me.

“Neteyam, I’m tired,” I say, tears trickling down my face as I feel someone rub something on my wound.

“Just stay awake, my love. Stay awake for me.” He says and I feel him squeeze my hand.

I finally lose the battle and feel my eyelids close fully.

“(y/n)!” I hear Neteyam yell. “(y/n)!” His voice becomes quieter as I pass out. The last thing I saw was Neteyam’s beautiful face, the only thing that could’ve been better about it was if he was smiling.

----------------

My eyes open wide as I gasp, I look around, shaken up and confused about what had happened. I slow my breathing down as I look around at the small room, light shining through some of the gaps in the door. Looking down I see Neteyam sitting next to me holding onto my hand. He’s asleep and I wish I could say he looks peaceful but disturbed making me frown.

“‘Teyam.” I say softly with no response. “‘Teyam.” I say a little louder and he jumps awake, his eyes immediately on me. “‘Teyam.” I say with a small smile as he sits up properly and scoots forward towards me.

“Thank Eywa." He says briefly looking to the sky before looking back at me. "How do you feel? Are you okay? I'll get my mother, she can get you something." He says standing.

"Neteyam… I'm fine, or as fine as I could be."

"Are you sure? Do you need anything?" He asks, worried.

"All I need right now is you, 'Teyam," I say with a small smile patting the space on the bed next to me.

He pulls himself up and sits next to me on the bed, wrapping one of his arms around me. He places a soft kiss on the top of my head before resting his head on mine.

"I love you," I say quietly.

"I love you too." He says and if I had to pick a favourite moment in my life it would be this one right here. Despite the recent events, this moment is so peaceful and our love for each other fills the room. It's a perfect feeling with a perfect person.

AN: I hope you enjoyed reading!

Comment if you want to be added to my Avatar taglist also if you enjoyed this I have some other Avatar fanfics on my page (link to them on my master list which is my pinned post) so go check them out!

Taglist:

@neptunes-curse

@7kavva

@coconut-dreamz

@melatonindaydreamz

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skoulsons · 1 year

Text

Thinking about the sniper section always

The first shot rings out and they all duck. Joel does not move until he sees Ellie and has a hand on her back to guide her to cover behind the car. And he keeps it there until they’re fully behind it and he checks to see where the shots are coming from.

“Stay here.” “What?”

Immediate fear. Some guys trying to snipe them and she doesn’t know from where, and Joel has the audacity to say ‘stay here’. She knows exactly what he’s thinking. That he is going after him. But Ellie fears for him, as capable as he is. She cares about him. She doesn’t want to lose him. Not in a setting like this. And just like their night out in the woods and after they crashed, he reassures her. He’s so good at that, isn’t he?

He faces her directly. He holsters his gun, turns completely around, puts his hands out in a ‘listen to me. I’m sure of this’ fashion, looks her dead in the eye, and speaks to her gently. Firmly, determined, but gentle.

“If you don’t move, he’s not gonna hit you.” Again, this same reassurance <3 she’s expressed fear over him more than anything, and he reassures her that she will be okay if she doesn’t move. Nothing about his safety, only hers and how to maintain it.

And he tells her his plan. He’s not hiding what he’s trying to do from her. He does this so she knows his mindset, where he’s going, and how he’s doing. Trying to calm her down the ways he knows how.

“But if you go out there, he’s gonna kill you.” I LOVE MUTUAL CONCERN. But she just says it outright. Expresses that fear and care outright.

“It’s dark and he has shit aim, nobody’s gonna kill me” what a roast. But true. He was an old man with a death wish.

“Then he’s gonna kill us!” She’s trying to keep him with her. She’s trying to give him a reason to stay down there with them. With her. So that he can stay down there and be by her side to protect her like they’ve become so adept at doing. And he thinks about this for a second. He doesn’t want to lose them, especially Ellie. But in the end, he knows better. He’s the one out of the four of them who can do this. And unless he runs out of ammo, they’re stuck there. And Joel wouldn’t willingly send any of them into possible fire if he can help it.

“Do you trust me?” She has no reason not to. He’s proven time and time again that he is trustworthy. From killing that first QZ soldier to the ambush to now. She has seen him protect her without a second thought. He has gained her trust through every encounter with infected or people. He’s gained it through their nights and days. He’s been honest in everything he’s told her. There’s very little room left to not trust him.

And eventually she nods, as reluctant as it is. If she says yes, he does it. If she says no, he does it anyway. As much as she wants him down there with her, she does trust him to protect her. To protect them.

And she watches him go until he’s completely out of sight [bonus- the very light and almost off screen hand on her arm as he’s walking away :’)]. Because she fears for him. Because she’s scared of him getting hurt. Of losing him. She cares about him, more than she knows what to deal with, and way more than he’s comfortable with. And to know he still tries to get rid of her next episode 🤣

And then Joel gets in the house and kills the old man, a shot goes off and Ellie immediately shoots up from behind the car. Because, for a moment, she thinks it’s him. But there wasn’t a struggle. Not multiple shots or any signs of them fighting. Just one shot, and it was his revolver, so she knows it was him. Besides, he promised her no one was going to kill him. And she trusts him

#thinking about this constantly #CONSTANTLY #the way he was so zoned in on just her during the entire sniper section #never looking away from her #like despite there being a ton of infected #she was the only thing he could see!!!#feeling sick.#the last of us hbo #tlou spoilers #joel miller #ellie williams #L analyzes

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rejectedfables · 1 year

Text

I think often about Jin Guangyao’s “[I murdered] my father, my (older) brother, my wife, my son, my teacher, my friend” quote. I think about how Jin Guangyao, a man known for self effacing politeness to the point of taking blame and shame onto himself to alleviate the tempers of others, in this moment takes complete responsibility for "murders” that he absolutely did not commit. And I think about how the audience both in the story and outside it, take his words at face value.

I think there are multiple ways of interpreting who this quote is about. Obviously Father = Jin Guangshan, Wife = Qin Su, Son = Jin Rusong, those are clear. I think (older) Brother could either be Nie Mingjue or Jin Zixuan. I think "teacher” could be Wen Rouhan or Nie Mingjue. Friend could be Nie Mingjue, Su Minshan, or Xue Yang.

So I think the ONLY options for [brother, teacher, friend] (in that order) are:

NMJ, WRH, and SMS

NMJ, WRH, and XY

JZX, NMJ, and SMS

JZX, NMJ, and XY

JZX, WRH, and NMJ

JZX, WRH, and SMS

JZX, WRH, and XY

I also saw a translation where he said “friends” plural, which would reduce the list to:

NMJ, WRH, XY and SMS

JZX, NMJ, XY and SMS

JZX, WRH, SMS and NMJ

JZX, WRH, XY and NMJ

JZX, WRH, XY and SMS

However, given the importance of his relationship with NMJ, I feel like we can safely eliminate any that exclude NMJ entirely. Similarly, there cannot be characters mentioned here who are unnamed or unknown to the reader, as that wouldn’t make any Doylist sense. We are left with a list that consists of Nie Mingjue, either WRH or JZX or both, and possibly XY and/or SMS.

Regardless of which of those combinations you use, he did not directly OR EVEN DELIBERATELY murder everyone on that list. Let’s go through them:

Jin Guangshan: Yes, he deliberately ordered and orchestrated his father’s death. Outstanding, earned, poetic, no notes. (Okay maybe SOME notes, but like, listen. Listen.)

Qin Su: Qin Su killed herself. In the animation, Jin Guangyao used the skull-piercing nails to force her suicide, but this is not canon to the novel. Bicao claims that Jin Guangyao must have killed her to silence her, despite her suicide having many witnesses (including us! the readers!), but Wei Wuxian (who WAS THERE) speculates that she couldn’t handle the reality of her marriage, as illuminated to her BY Bicao, or the prospect of societal shame if it got out. However, even IF “your actions drove her to suicide” were the rubric here, that’s still not quite the same as “you murdered her”, nor does it seem to be the outcome he was hoping or planning for. “JGY murdered her” is factually inaccurate, and a blatant propaganda tactic being used against him-- but perhaps it felt emotionally true to HIM because he’s grieving his DEAD WIFE and he FEELS responsible.

Nie Mingjue: JGY spent something like 5+ years suffering physical and verbal abuse and explicit threats of death by Nie Mingjue, then was tasked with killing Nie Mingjue by his father. He did so in a sneaky way, so as to not endanger himself further or get punished for (or perhaps cause an inter-sect conflict/war by) killing the leader of a rival sect.

Wen Rouhan: JGY stabbed him in all adaptations, A+, war hero.

Jin Zixuan: JGY, on his father’s orders, orchestrated a situation that led to Jin Zixuan’s death. We cannot know for SURE that JGY wasn’t aiming for his death but we CAN say that “Wei Wuxian accidentally compelling Wen Ning to kill the ONE GUY PRESENT Wei Wuxian did NOT want to kill” (OR “WN killing JZX of his own accord against WWX’s orders”) would have been a weird bet to make. This seems highly unlikely to have been JGY’s goal, but it was certainly caused by a situation he created. He also did not actually literally kill the guy.

Su Minshan: Su She died to protect Jin Guangyao from Nie Mingjue’s fierce corpse. Jin Guangyao is only “responsible” for this in the vaguest or terms and worst faith of interpretations. Technically Su She wouldn’t have died there if not for JGY on multiple levels (wouldn’t have had to protect him, NMJ’s fierce corpse being JGY’s fault, wouldn’t have been present at all if JGY hadn’t summoned him there, etc.), but if Jin Guangyao describes this as “I murdered him” that’s... a stretch. Again, like with Qin Su, this feels like something he might say because he FEELS responsible, rather than because he actually is.

Xue Yang: JGY ordered Xue Yang’s execution (or possibly ordered a fake execution, but this seems less likely) directly before he fled, injured, to Yi City. He did not die here. Later, after reconnecting and while still following Jin Guangyao’s orders, Xue Yang was killed by other people in opposition to Jin Guangyao’s wishes and plans. Again, TECHNICALLY Xue Yang would not have died when he did were it not for Jin Guangyao, but describing it as “Jin Guangyao murdered him” is QUITE a stretch. Due to the title of the “Villainous Friends” extra, which is about JGY and XY specifically, XY seems the most likely candidate to me for “Friend” in this quote, which is bizarre because I think his death is actually the LEAST connected to Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao wasn’t even present, nor did Xue Yang die FOR Jin Guangyao-- just on his payroll. BUT perhaps he still felt guilty for ORDERING his execution, and simply his willingness to HAVE Xue Yang killed counted enough to make the list.

I’ll get to the last one, but I’m pausing here to say: What all of this means is that no matter who is or isn’t on that list, it is NOT an objective list of factual murders. It is a list of people who’s deaths Jin Guangyao FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR.

Even before we get to who counts as teacher, brother, or friend, even JUST his wife solidifies this. But it isn’t JUST her either-- even if we cut SMS and XY (the other two BIG stretch candidates) from the equation, that leaves us ONLY with NMJ(friend), WRH(teacher), and JZX(brother). And Jin Zixuan is the other one that really should not make the list of people JGY “murdered”.

This is a list of people who’s deaths Jin Guangyao FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR.

Which brings us to the last one:

Jin Rusong: The quote (I believe this is a fan translation, but not sure) "One of the opposing sect leaders lost the arguments [about the watchtowers], and went into a murderous rage, killing Jin Guangyao and Qin Su’s only son. The boy had always been a good child and the couple had loved him dearly. Under resentment, Jin Guangyao tore down the entire sect in revenge” is, to my knowledge/memory, the only real account we’re given of what happened. “Lost the arguments and went into a murderous rage” doesn’t sound like the child was found dead some time later, and they had to investigate. It sounds like it happened in public, with witnesses, immediately.

In the same scene where Bicao convinces an audience that Qin Su, who famously killed herself on screen in a room full of people with a (now) known motive for suicide, “must have” been murdered by Jin Guangyao-- in that same scene others speculate that Jin Rusong, who was famously killed by a political opponent in a “murderous rage” most likely DURING A CONFERENCE, “must have” been murdered by Jin Guangyao.

I think "I angered an opposing sect leader so much that he killed my son" being translated by JGY into "I killed my son" is EXACTLY IN LINE with the rest of his list. How is that different than "I ordered Xue Yang's assassination, and later put him in a situation that caused others to kill him" being translated to "I killed my friend"? Or “Su She died to protect me” being translated to “I killed my friend”? Or “I didn’t anticipate my brother’s unwitting involvement in a covert operation would get him accidentally killed, which no one wanted, not even the guy who did it” being translated to “I killed my brother”? Or “I tried to protect my pregnant fiancé/wife from a horrible secret I only just learned, which would ruin her life, and when someone confronted her with it TO HARM ME she couldn’t live with it and killed herself” being translated to “I killed my wife”? It’s the same!

I do not believe that Jin Guangyao killed Jin Rusong. I believe “I murdered my son” is an example of the way that Jin Guangyao speaks about himself-- always taking the maximum responsibility onto his own shoulders. If he was in any way responsible, than he was completely responsible. If he FEELS responsible, then he MAY AS WELL have murdered them.

The context of when he says this quote also matters towards how we interpret it’s meaning. He was already attempting to flee the country, aware that the cultivation world was actively turning on him for crimes that he did AND DIDN’T commit. He was surrounded by people he thought cared about him, all of whom seemed determined to stop him from achieving a safe exit. He had had all the horrible things he felt responsible for (regardless of how directly or deliberately he was involved in those events) thrown in his face by said loved ones, while they looked at him with horror. Su Minshan had just been killed trying to PROTECT HIM, and now it looked like it had been for nothing anyway. Huaisang, who he is shown as doting upon throughout their decades long relationship, has just manipulated Lan Xichen (do I even have to go into how important Lan Xichen is to him? Please say no, please say this much at LEAST is universally understood) into BEING THE ONE to STAB HIM.

In this moment, he believes that he’s going to die, and be reviled in death by society and his loved ones alike. He knows there’s nothing left he can say or do, he hasn’t had time to process Su She’s death, and Lan Xichen has JUST (accidentally) betrayed him (which he also hasn’t had time to process).

And also, notably, he had very recently been IN POSSESSION of the TIGER TALLY.

AND HE’S BEEN STABBED! To my memory this scene happens while he’s missing an arm and LAN XICHEN’S sword is still INSIDE HIS GUTS. His emotions and reasoning are probably NOT the most calm or rational right now (blood loss, pain, fear, grief, influence of the tiger tally, etc.), and this “confession” should be taken with that in mind.

I just think a lot about how “I murdered [everyone I’ve loved except for you]” is such a raw and telling line, given the context. Even if it’s more like “I murdered [everyone I’ve owed devotion to except for you]”, that’s still so painful. He blames himself for all of it. All of it! The world celebrated Wen Rouhan’s death, but Jin Guangyao added it to his personal list. Jin Guangshan is arguably the most reprehensible character in the entire story, and ruined every part of Jin Guangyao’s entire life, but he’s on the list. He did everything in his power to protect Qin Su, and when she found out the truth he continued offering her ways he could protect her, but she chose to kill herself, and she’s on the list. He tried to improve the world with the watchtowers, and someone retaliated by murdering his son, and he claimed responsibility for that too.

He knew he was being blamed for their deaths, knew it was propaganda and slander and bad faith, but he blamed himself too. So he just... accepted it. I did it. It was me, I murdered them.

And so, so, so many people, in his world and in ours, were so, so eager to agree

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bri-the-fando-meister · 1 year

Text

Girl Of His Dreams, Literally

Female Reader x Minho

Simple summary: You were a girl, the boys didn't expect your feisty attitude because of that, all but one of them at least. He saw you for the 'first' time, he, he recognized you, and you did too. You even knew his name.

------------------------------------------------

You woke in a metal box, scraping of metal pinching your ears with their sharp sound. You looked around your area and saw boxes and bags all labeled with the same word, WICKED.

You weren't scared when the top of your box opened, you wore more intrigued than anything. Light flooded the box, revealing silhouettes of bodies looking at you, craning their necks, surprised by something.

"The actual shuck, you guys seeing what I am" a voice gasped, a boy it sounded like. Multiple other voices said the same thing back to the first boy, "yes."

"What the hell are you weirdo freaks talking about?" you asked, firmly. "Also, get me out of this useless box, I want to see your faces"

One of the boys, most likely the leader jumped into the box. The leader spoke.

"Huh, you're a girl. Never had us a girl greenie before." He pointed out, "Can you remember anything about you? Your name? Where you came from"

"Yeah, I remember my name, a bunch of other stuff too" you looked at a pile of crates, and decided they would make good stairs. "Unfortunately for you my friend, I think our chat here is done."

And with that you swiftly swung your body around the boy and floated up the 'stairs' finding yourself surrounded by multiple boys, at least fifty of them staring at you.

One of them put their hands on your shoulders, holding you from behind. Probably so you didn't try to escape again. "Now why don't you slim it nice and cool, we just want to help you" the boy behind you said, he had a nice smooth and comforting accent.

One grabbed your arm, and you didn't like that.

"Get your bloody hands off of me" you yelled at the one who grabbed your arm. You swung your fist at him, making impact. He let go, yelping in pain.

You were shocked that you had done that, but it's not like the boy didn't deserve it.

The boy who had their hands on your shoulders moved their hands to your wrists, and swiftly pulled them behind your back, so you were unable to inflict more damage to anyone else.

"I thought I told you to calm down, did I not." the boy said.

You struggled to find your voice in the moment, you looked behind you and saw that he was close. "You did, but yet again, I think our chat here is done."

You swung your leg back, aiming for his shins. But he must have known what you were doing and dodged it. "Now, now. I am going to put you in the slammer if you do much more of this klunk. Am I understood?"

"Yes, you are understood. Now what the fuck do you want with me?" You put as much sass into your voice, just to annoy them.

"I am going to let you go now, try anything and my friends here will stop you. We want to ask you a few questions, about what you know." the boy warned.

"Wait, is that boy. M- Minho here? Was he sent to your maze?" you asked, you remembered him, and something about the maze and him being sent you were unsure why you remembered that information, but you just did. "We were friends before he was sent away, to a maze, that's all I can remember"

"You know Minho?", "Shuck, he won't be back for an hour still.", "Is she a spy?" all the boys were muttering to themselves.

You knew this was the moment you could sprint of and hide, while they were distracted. Most were talking to the boy you left in the box, so now was your chance.

You began a sprint, like a run for your life.

Found a tree and swiftly swung yourself through the branches, you were at least 15-20 meters into the air, so you stopped.

You were there for a solid hour, yet none of the boys had come close to finding you.

You had been looking at that big gap in the walls, wondering what was there, and then you saw him. The boy, Minho. He came out of the walls.

You jumped out of the tree, from about 5 meters off of the ground of course. But you horribly judged the distance, you were easily 10 meters off of the ground instead.

Doing this resulted in you screaming as you fell, but hey, you got Minho's attention. Maybe it was because you just fell out of a bloody tree, 10 meters up.

While you were falling, your shirt got snagged on a branch, slowing your fall drastically. Only having gotten a small blow to the head rather than almost definite death you were relieved. You saw the boy and yelled his name before you blacked out "Minho!"

The boy was close when you jumped, so he got to you within a matter of seconds.

"Holy shit, her back is all cut up, and her head is bleeding so much." He didn't even notice that you called his name until the original shock wore off. "How the fuck-"

"Minho, what happened to her?" the boy with the smooth accent asked.

"I don't know, I came through the doors and she jumped out of the tree, she got caught on a branch and continued to fall, then she yelled my name out" Minho said, out of breath and shocked.

"Yeah, we were gonna tell you that the greenie somehow knew your name, and that this place is a maze." The other boy spoke nervously.

"Look, Newt, I don't care what she knows at the moment. What I think we should care about is that she is losing a lot of blood"

"Are you two going to talk like I am not here" you groggily spoke, you were out of it. And you were out of it again as quick as you were back to reality.

"Right, Minho. Can you keep an eye on her, I am getting Clint"

"Fine, but straight after that I need to go to the map room"

The Clint boy arrived with Newt and they had to carry you to the homestead, so your injuries could be treated.

"Ok greenie, I am going to need to do some stitches on your back. The thing is, we can't knock you out, we either have to wait till' you are asleep which isn't a good idea, or we will do it now with you conscious"

"Just do it know, the pain can't get any worse"

A few of the boys held your arms and legs down, one gave you a shirt to bite onto. "Why are you guys holding me?"

"Because it hurts, it hurts a lot. We don't want you flailing around"

You felt the sting of antiseptic dribbling onto your back and your head, both at the same time.

"Great, two things hurting at once. Must be two people doing it" you thought to yourself.

Then came the excruciating feeling of hot metal plunging deep into your skin followed by the sensation of your skin being pulled together. Thankfully there was only one gash on your back that needed 6 stitches.

You were fighting of the urge to fling your arms and legs back and stop the near torturous experience. That only caused more pressure to be forced on your limbs, the boys were practically crushing your arms and legs.

Turns out they wanted to do your back, then your head because only one of the first aiders knew how to do sutures with wounds as deep as yours.

The boy doing your stitches soon moved onto your head, he had to bandage it and stitch it up.

He began to sew your head back together and it was absolutely excruciating, you were happy, it was so painful that you became unconscious.

You awoke to the boys staring at you, your instinct told you to run away but the boys obviously knew because you still felt hands on your arms.

"Sooo, can I like, go now?"

"Sorry but we can't let you, nobody can go, and we need to ask you a few questions - How do you know Minho? Where did you come from? Minho says he recognizes you."

"Newt, stop. Let me talk to her. I think she is scared of you"

"Hey there, how you feeling?" Minho spoke so softly as not to scare you. "I know you know me, and I recognize you, I get these dreams, and you are in them. Is, is your name Y/n?"

"Yes Minho, I am so glad you remember me. I, I got picked, they chose me. I wasn't scared, and I managed to remember you, and them I remember WICKED. We will get out in due time, but I can't speak anymore."

"Why Y/n? Why can't you speak?"

"It's the beetle blades, and the elites. They are listening to EVERYTHING."

------------------------------------------------

I might make a part 2, in all due time, I have like 10 different ideas for plots floating through my head. This one has been in my drafts for weeks so, I kinda had to get it done. Sorry for ending on a cliffhanger too, I want people to sit there and imagine what would happen next.

#maze runner #the maze runner #tmr minho #tmr gally #tmr books #tmr minho imagine #tmr minho x reader

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orecana · 4 months

Text

Goodbye my love

Lee sohee x male reader

Hello Everyone! Orecana back with another fic for you guys! I've decided to write about riize because i like this group at the moment. i hope you guys enjoy my fics and thank you to everyone who have supported me so far. Happy Reading!

Warning! the following story contains

heavy angst

major character death (angst)

Reincarnation

suicide

blood/gore

Toxicity

(disclaimer: if you don't like the following and boys love/bl, please..... get the fuck out!)

Two kids were playing together in a playground. One of them was playing with their toy car while one was playing on a mini piano.

(imagine the following in a kid voice, please don't mind the full words. i don't know how to write kid speaking)

"it sounds so nice y/n!"

"thanks, sohee-hyung!. your car is so cool. *giggle*"

that's where their story started. it had grown from then to when they go to the same school to when they go into battle together.

Why battle? because the witch was an ancient evil that has awakened and it threatened the entire world. Every male on the planet must come together to combat this evil. (this was from that century where only male could fight so i'm sorry to females. pls forgive me!)

Today was the day they head into battle against the witch.

"Hey! how about we have a bet? whoever kills the witch gets to make the other do whatever they want."

"come on y/n. this is an ancient evil for god sake. you're trying to make a bet now!?"

"hmph! just admit you're too weak to fight it"

Sohee glared at y/n who only rolled his eyes at his friend.

"I'll see you beg for mercy when i'm done with that witch."

"oh really? (rolls eyes) i kinda want to see you beg instead though."

sohee only sighs as the bell rings loudly.

"attention all warriors, the time for battle has begun. make way to the battlefield. Once we get rid of this witch, we'll be free."

Sohee and y/n get up from their spots and make their way towards the battlefield. y/n turn back and take off his necklace before putting it on sohee.

"why-?"

"My mother always says that if i ever find the person i cherished the most, i should give it to them for good luck."

y/n smile warmly as sohee blushes and looks away.

"come on let's hunt that witch."

The battle was pretty one sided for some reason. The witch's army didn't stood a chance against the human. All those humanoid and horrible monsters cut down in an instant.

Y/n rushes in with his flying swords clearing the way for the army to move forward to the castle while sohee survey the area for any potential danger.

They arrive at the witch's castle and opens the gate. y/n motions for the soldiers to stay back as he and sohee look for any danger.

just as they enter the castle the gate immediately closes behind them as the soldiers outside yell for them. they curse themselves for getting trapped but they were interrupted by laughter.

They look towards the throne and there she was. the witch.

The witch looks incredibly old. y/n doesn't even need to scan to know that this witch is extremely weak right now.

"well well well, it seems human are capable creatures after all. you managed to defeat all of my minions very easily, color me impressed. but it seems that you 2 already know what fate lies after going through this door don't you? especially you y/n l/n."

Sohee looks at y/n questioningly while y/n could only look back with guilt. Y/n twirls his hand as the flying swords pierces the witch as she smiles wickedly.

"YOU FOOL. YOU KNEW WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES ARE YET YOU DARE KILL ME?!"

"So what? if these powers are with me, at least they'll be less troublesome."

Y/n twirls around with both hands as multiple swords flew aiming at the witch who only looks at y/n with disbelief. y/n grins maliciously as he grips both of his hands, causing the swords to stab into the witch's entire body as blood and destroyed organs flew everywhere.

A dreadful silence remains as sohee watched in horror at what his best friend just did.

"y/n.... what did you just do...?

*giggle* "what did i do? take her powers for myself of course."

"why.. why would you do that?"

"Why..... WHY?"

y/n screams as darkness surrounded him changing his clear (hair color) to white and his clothes are turn into black.

"To have revenge against humanity of course!"

"but you said you wanted to-"

"save humanity? it was a lie. they killed everyone i loved, my mother was sacrificed as if she was nothing in their eyes!"

"Then what about me? am i not someone important too?"

Y/n opens his mouth but he hesitated. Sohee desperately wanted y/n to say yes that their friendship wasn't nothing but it was only inevitable.

"you were just a toy for me to show off. you are nothing to me!"

Sohee wouldn't lie when he heard his heart crack at those words.

"You won't step outside y/n l/n."

"Oh? and who are you to stop me?"

"your best friend"

Y/n only laughs as he raises his hands to summon many swords.

"Very well, once i'm done with you. there will be no one to stop me!"

Smiling evilly, y/n sends thousands of swords towards sohee who dodges all of them with swift precision. suddenly one of them was able to hit sohee as he grimaces then many started to damage sohee as he kneels down on the ground with many scars on him.

"i know all of your tricks sohee, you can't beat me"

Sohee sighs as he stands still and raises his hand.

Y/n widens his eyes and tries to stop him but then a barrier surrounded him.

"no........ no no no no no NO! My plan was brilliant! HOW-"

Y/n was unable to finish his words as sohee quickly stabs him through the chest with his spear causing him to bleed and cough out blood.

Sohee pulls his spear out as y/n falls onto his knees while smiling weakly. his eyes are filled with tears and regret. the witch's power slowly leaves him as y/n returns to his original look.

the witch's power looks at sohee with hunger as it charges towards sohee but y/n immediately slash his necklace on sohee's neck which causes it to unleash a binding spell that captures the power as it growls in agony.

"SOHEE NOW!"

Sohee begins to chants a spell and activates it on the power, effectively destroying it.

"heh, i knew i could always count on you jagi~."

"Y/N!"

Y/n collapses as sohee goes to hold him.

"the witch's power will keep consuming stronger hosts and manipulate them so i had to make you hate me in order for you to force it out."

"But why? you-you're gonna die!"

"because i was gonna die soon anyways, my family is connected to the witch. we can only live until we have our first kiss."

"What do you mean?"

Y/n sealed his and sohee's lips together.

"I love you sohee so please....

never.....

forget.... *closes eyes*

me..."

Sohee looks at the boy in arms who was smiling warmly as if he was alive but he knows better.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"

youtube

*timeskips*

Sohee walks towards your grave that he had made near his house in the garden that you guys loved playing in. He couldn't help but break down as he looks at your portrait, of your beautiful smile.

He leaned against your grave as he look up at the sky. he remembers that moment.

"c'mon sing with me sohee!"

"No....."

"UGH! you're so boring!"

Sohee smiles as he takes a deep breath and opens his mouth.

(songs and romanized lyrics above in the video. Below are english translated lyrics, i apologized if they're not accurate i just took them off google)

Your heart is consealed while love is near by

At sleepless nights no matter how hard i try accept me

I want to meet you right now my tears wont stop flowing i want to touch you

Because i love you it hurts a lot

The more i think about you my tears are overflowing

although we are unable to meet

i love you more than anybody else

Sohee was about the sing the next verse when he sees him. The person giggle and cups his cheeks. how he miss the person he sees in front of him right now.

Even though we just parted(said bye bye)

i'm overflowing to meet you again

and that days kiss has almost disappeared

i'm waiting a mail from you

sohee sings the next part as he gaze lovingly at the spirit of the person he loved and cherished

When i meet you the time limit will decrease

when we are together time becomes precious

we just said bye bye but i want to meet you again

with an mail to you a I'll meet you again

at the scene of return waits twilight

i feel like bringing you away

when your warmth disappear

i wake up from a dream to face the reality door

(From this point on y/n will sing the 'girl/vocal part' while sohee will sing the 'boy/rap part' and will sing together during the 'I love you part' and at the last chorus)

The more i think about you my tears are overflowing

although we are unable to meet

i love you more than anybody else

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) the sun rises

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) you are the only one i'm searching

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) close your eyes

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) my love for you

Together with you...

sohee held hands with the fragment of his lover as he sings the next part

"I want to meet you right now"in limited time

seems like i belive in"endless love"

when i think that i'll leave you

i feels like the pain splits me in two

your charming face torn

at the countdown of the nights end

Love you baby love you baby words freeze

Today begins and i can see you again

The more i think

the more i miss you and i want to meet you

the fragment of y/n leans against him as he closes his eyes sings along

The more i want to be by your side the more i cant reach tomorow

"Eternal"seems always until i find you

I dont want to let you go i dont want to be apart from you

Love you baby love for you

i dont want to let you go

Sohee suddenly coughs up blood as the fragment holds his body. then the fragment sees it, a bottle of poison. the fragment cups his cheek as he crys.

The more i think about you my tears are overflowing

without sun alone in the midle of the night

you are all i can see...

Sohee uses his last breath to sing, to fulfill that wish

Your heart is consealed while love is near by

At sleepless nights no matter how hard i try accept me

I want to meet you right now my tears wont stop flowing i want to touch you

Because i love you it hurts a lot

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) the sun rises

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) you are the only one i'm searching

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) close your eyes

I love you (love you) love you (love you)

Love you (love you) my love for you

Together with you...

Sohee dies as he finishes the song as he laid resting upon the grave of y/n l/n as many guards alert the authority when they discover this.

Despite never being happy on the living realm, if you listen closely you can hear the laughter of 2 lovers cherishing each other forever and for all eternity.

#Youtube #riize #riize sohee #lee sohee #sohee x male reader #bxb #war #angst #angst with a happy ending #kpop male idol x male reader #kpop male idol #riize x male reader

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mcytcontent · 11 days

Text

Hello.

This is my personal analysis of the recent situation about Wilbur Soot and Shelby Shubble. (I don’t want anyone to go to extremes and insult any of the streamers/youtubers)

I tried to stay as neutral as possible to write this analysis.

I also want to say that I have been following Wilbur for a long time (4 years) and in this situation I already have the right to my word. (After one comment. I follow Wilbur 4 years, not watching)

Tumblr has a limit on photos, so I divided it into parts.

I am not dependent on Wilbur, but I support him. I'm not a big fan of him at all. I stopped watching all MCYT for 2 years after the death of Technoblade, and before that I didn’t really watch Wilbur a lot.

(1/4) over parts on my profile

First I want to attach my time calendar that I made to highlight important moments for 2021-2024

Let's start from the very beginning, namely with Shelby's stream about her experience in an abusive relationship.

Immediately after the rumors began to spread, Shelby decided to delete this stream. You won't be able to find it on her Twitch channel. But fortunately or unfortunately you can view his recording on YouTube (This video has been blocked or made restricted. Unfortunately, I didn’t find another neutral recording without any additional information from the author of the video, but you can watch the stream using another link, but I want to warn you that the subsequent indications of the time of this stream in my post are the same as the original Shelby stream and not this one from YouTube.)

First we will start with the inconsistencies in the Shubble story from this stream.

I keep trying, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me, but that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly, some people just weren't the right. (3:59-4:19)

‌I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I never thought that could happen to me and so, for me this is important, because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did. (4:40-4:55)

‌ I just thought I was so much smarter. I was like if someone ever laid their hands on me I'd leave immediately, it would never happen a second time, but it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse and worse until the point where there's no way to deny, the fact that he was hurting me and he knew, and didn't care...» (30:52- •••)

The inconsistency in this case is that Shelby at the very beginning said that she had quite a large number of people who used her, but in the end she said that she did not think that she would be used a second time.

Speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now, because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace. (4:21-4:39)

Shelby has had a lot of bad people in her life. At the beginning of the stream, she said that she really likes to share her experience, but she decided to talk about abusive relationships only now. She rarely talked about other relationships, the only thing we know from her past relationships is that her first boyfriend raped her and she dated some youtuber/streamer guys.

It took me 10 months after to heal. I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. I tried sematic therapy, that one was actually really good for me. That one actually helped me release a lot of um builtup anger I was having over the last year. (5:40-6:06)

How come Shelby was in therapy and said the name wrong? Shelby said that she went to Sematic Therapy, although there is only Somatic Therapy, and Somatic Therapy is aimed at processing the reaction to fear attacks and removing them, and not at releasing anger.

Somatic trauma therapy — a psychotherapeutic approach to working with symptoms and conditions such as attacks of fear (“panic attacks”), acute reactions of grief, loss, and post-traumatic reactions (PTSD). The primary goal of SE is to modify the stress response associated with trauma through bottom-up processing.

But the most important thing is why Shelby went to different therapies, why didn’t she settle on one specific one that helped her. There may be several options, but the most possible is that Shelby was not helped by the therapies she went to.

I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists. (6:25-6:30)

‌I was so mad at myself, because I was lying to a certain point to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth it make him look really bad. (7:16-7:28)

‌«... and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I tell him how uncomfortable I was...» (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌I have though caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff, and I again, I didn't want to it wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over, which isn't normal for me, I hate lies. (16:44-16:58)

‌I ended up lying for him, but he had lied about big things and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times, so this is something that he feels is acceptable to do. (16:59-17:11)

‌I abandoned my personal morals, neglected friends and lied for this person.

Shelby first says that she told the whole story to her friends while she was in therapy, but then she herself says that she lied during the story to protect Wilbur. And then she claims that she went against her principles because she hates lying.

She later says that Wilbur always lied about small things, but then refutes this by saying that he lied about more important things.

He always cared more about how it looked and that was really important not what was true and it was really subtle. (7:37-7:48)

Wilbur never hid his inclinations, people just romanticized him too much because he was handsome and a musician.

When I hear about physical abuse I think of hitting and punching, so I thought that this wasn't violent enough. (7:54-8:05)

‌He's not hitting me and it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me that he did to hurt me, he had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had this habit since he was a kid and even his mom said that was true and he said it was just affectionate and that might have been. I mean, I think that might have been true maybe at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie but that's just my personal opinion. (8:16-8:46)

‌I had no problem with just biting, that isn't even the most uncommon thing, but he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag, and he wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me, which I thought was really weird, considering he had never hurt me before and so why would I call it abuse and why was he thinking about that. (8:47-9:16)

Physical abuse — the use of physical force and violence, beatings, assault with the aim of subordinating the behavior of the victim, fulfilling the demands of the aggressor.

Daknomania (from ancient Greek δάκνω - to bite, μανία - attraction, passion, madness) is a tendency to bite others and oneself. Over time, due to imperative (verbal) hallucinations, as well as Kandinsky-Clerambault syndrome, it can transform into an impulsive and also violent tendency.

According to psychotherapist Andrei Khavanov, the desire to bite, pinch, beat a person for whom there is an acute attack of love is widespread and seems to depend little on the cultural context. This phenomenon is called cute aggression.

«He disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends, to the point that he would do it in front of them, he thought it was this really funny story to tell and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain and then I have to laugh it off because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of all of our friends and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned... » (10:38-•••)

At first Shelby says that Will's friends were there, but then she says that their friends were there.

«... and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I tell him how uncomfortable I was, how much I didn't like being hurt all the time and I needed him to really stop biting so hard, I didn't like it and I tried telling him over and over again, he said this is who he is he isn't going to change those. (•••-11:40)

‌I was constantly nauseous gagging daily, on occasion throwing up, because of the pit that was in my stomach, I never told him about that, though I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends. (13:19-13:34)

‌That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like "But was it bad enough, what it wasn't violent enough", but I was being hurt multiple times every single day for a month at a time in a row at a time in a row, and I'm not even speaking on most...»

‌Entirely why he switched to biting my legs, so no one would think I looked abused. But he continued to hurt me. (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌My issue was not with being bit. It was with being HURT. (from Shelby's twitter post)

‌I loved him and he told me he'd try to stop hurting me.(from Shelby's twitter post)

Shelby herself hid the fact that she was vomiting because of the bites.

Shelby, when she was dating Wilbur, thought that biting wasn't that bad. And if Shelby was against biting, she would not have given him her legs. When you can just grab your arms, you need to stretch out your legs so you can bite. And as Shelby herself said, Will never hit her, but only bit her. Also, Will tried not to bite her as much as he claimed.

Other people with the same problem say that the force of the bite is difficult to control.

This is Google translation since I am not an English speaker and English is not my 2-nd language

In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day, he would tell me he still wanted to be together, he wanted to work on all of the problems, he wanted me at the end of everything, he did not want to break up, he made that very clear. (16:27-16:40)

Shelby says that Wilbur changed his mind every day, but she only lists what he said before, and then that he repeated it every time and never changed his mind. Wilbur also did not hide the fact that he had problems, he even promised that he would work on them.

He said that the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility towards the end. So it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him and he was at this point basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum, I was asking for so little and I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who just happened to ask and just wasn't me. (18:39-19:24)

‌He was never going to prioritize me over anything over anything that would give him more fame or money in fact, he said that himself, that was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution, for us to be together, because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. (19:30-19:51)

Neglect, neglect; lack of attention to someone or something, lack of proper care for someone or something.

It can also be noted that being on stage was Wilbur’s most cherished desire since childhood and giving up all his dreams for someone is quite stupid (in my opinion (surveys on the Internet also confirm that the majority are of the same opinion)).

I'm good at remembering words and especially his wording I became really good at remembering, because he was constantly contradicting himself. (11:51-11:58)

‌I now struggle with memory problems and extreme anxiety. (from Shelby's twitter post)

Shubble herself said that she has memory problems.

I didn't even want to, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after what it really was that had happened, that he had abused me and in fact we left things, as we want to be friends and he can never imagine not speaking to me again, and then he never spoke to me again outside of like a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped...»

Abusive relationships — relationships in which a partner violates the personal boundaries of another person, humiliates, and allows cruelty in communication and actions in order to suppress the will of the victim. In this type of relationship, the victim and the aggressor do not change places; the victim, for a number of reasons, cannot leave this relationship.

Shubble said that she and Wilbur no longer communicated or even corresponded. Shelby left Will around the time his concerts started, but she was still in touch with him. For example, her Instagram, December 15, photo with some members of LoveJoy, Quackity was also present in the photo, on the same day there was a Vine stream 22.

From there we can understand that Shelby and Wilbur were still seeing each other -> clip of the song cmwyl February 10, 2023, where Shelby present.

Later, Shelby said on the stream that their relationship ended in January 23, which completely coincides with her story about Wilbur’s trips, and the fact that they could not see each other from several days to a month.

«...I didn't block him till 10 months later because I wanted an open door still, I really thought I wanted to be his friend.

The entire time she was in therapy, she did not block Wilbur, despite the fact that he “abused” her. She also admits that she still considered him her friend.

I stayed locked in a house I had no key for and didn't even try to leave anymore. People ask why we stay, and it's so hard to explain ourselves because we've abandoned all our reasoning. (from Shelby's twitter post)

Shelby, if she wanted, could open the window and escape.

Shelby herself admits that she did not want to leave home. By house, Shubble could mean an apartment. Although this is still strange, since Wilbur, according to her, had ants. This does not happen really much in apartments, and there cannot be 2 or more baths in an apartment. It follows that Wilbur had a house, and if it was a private house, then Shelby could easily climb out of the window if he locked it, or call the police.

In one LoveJoy vlog, Shelby can be heard in the background asking Will for the keys to the house, he gave them to her, which confirms that she did not have keys to the house.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions and he would never talk about how he felt, I think he admit that he felt, like, he couldn't say it any sooner, like there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance like not even a chance. (22:09-22:27)

The template on the stream confirmed that she did not know what Will was thinking, and that he was very good at restraining his emotions.

There was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me and I couldn't do it obviously and he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me, that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. (23:25-23:42)

Shelby isn't the only one Wilbur has pushed against the wall. The most famous example is Niki. (I won’t talk about this topic because I don’t know Wilbur and I’m not a psychologist and it’s not for me to judge his actions)

He had stopped giving anything to the relationship and he said that why was, because he was just waiting for things to change on their own. (23:57-24:05)

‌He said he also didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me, and he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online, because we were long distance, but then he would complain, he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore and then we'd be there in person, and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movie, he doesn't want to go out, and I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean. (24:06-24:44)

‌He lived in filth, I've seen filth, this was the worst, he would spill things on the floor and never, literally never, clean them up, he got an ant infestation once and wasn't going to do anything about it, because he said bugs are normal in British houses, so I had to buy ant killer. He wouldn't clean his bathroom for months and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled and I would tell him that's mold. He complained about being tired all the time, too which, I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mold will do that too, but he would insist that it wasn't somehow without having cleaned in months, but it's not mold. (24:45-25:36)

Mild depression is characterized by the presence of several symptoms over several weeks or months. In this case, patients often experience a feeling of fatigue, insomnia, loss of interest in life and activities, bad mood, and decreased self-esteem.

2021, Fundy`s vlog, Wilbur's house - bathroom, 2:49 minutes. From the footage we can see that this is Wilbur's personal bathroom. Only that the window in the next room was broken and a piece of wallpaper in the bathtub itself was torn off.

In 2021, Wilbur also began coming to therapy.

When I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent, just wasn't using that at all and I don't know for how long before I met him he was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets, and I felt bad, because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner, I thought he just didn't know how and I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing, and I was like, he just doesn't know how, someone just needs to show him. (25:39-26:08)

Negligence — a form of violence when the vital needs of a person that he cannot provide on his own are systematically ignored.

Wilbur also said that when he lived with his father, he slept on the same mattress on the floor with his dog, did not bathe too much and slept in his school uniform.

But not more disrespectful than not even saying my name. I believe I am referred to as "ex girlfriend" so if you don't know who he's talking about, you might not find out what he did.

From the outside it is clear that he does not want to touch on this topic on the entire Internet; if it is discussed, then it should be discussed in person in front of each other. Also, at the beginning of his tweet, he wrote that those who read this probably know that they began to accuse him of abuse. And who could not know about this, if it was literally in the top search results on Twitter for several days. Moreover, this spread so much that even some Chinese began to insult Wilbur without knowing the full situation.

If Wilbur had started addressing Shelby on a first name basis, he would have also been confronted about why he was so careless about her name after all.

Of all the possible options, Shelby chose to make it public that she was abused and gave too obvious hints about this person to the entire Internet. She wanted to take revenge on the man. She clearly said it herself

«...because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace, it's only keeping somebody else's peace...»

She directly said that she wanted revenge. And in the end she just got hyped, and in 11 days with 967k she got 1m on her YouTube in a 10 year career.

The company that presented the Shabl merch went bankrupt, and as a result, the merch still has not arrived to some people who have already paid for it.

Shelby’s fans also started spamming everywhere so that people would support the YouTuber with subscriptions rather than words.

⬆️ screenshot taken on March 29th. A month ago, Shubble had 469,705 followers.

#wilbur situation #wilbur soot #shelby shubble #analysis #shelby situation

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prettyoddfever · 2 months

Text

Tumblr glitched while I was trying to answer this, but thankfully I took a screenshot of everything before refreshing because I legit cannot find that draft or question anywhere now, sorry. So here we go again...

I'll link to the post here. (btw any annoyance that might seep into my tone in my recent answers is NOT directed at the actual people asking... y'all are lovely). So that post is done in a very similar tone to the Ryden primers that the pre-split fandom posted, but I'm getting the sense that this is very very different... like that person seems to actually believe the content that they're posting is straight up facts (and even if they don't, the fact that you're referring to it as "infamous" probably implies that other people are at least treating it as real facts, so I'm still going to address it like the tone is serious). Here's an explanation of how the majority of the fandom used to view Ryden.

A lot of their pictures no longer show up, so I'm going to leave a wayback screen recording here for reference:

I'll just comment as I go through it if I have something to add:

I suppose that the tone of someone's comments is open to interpretation, so idc as much about whether those are misread or not.

That supposed AIM convo was shared as a myspace bulletin by Brent's brother Blake during the summer 2006 season when he was trying to stir up shit and was busy posting other inaccurate info too. I'm just saying to take it with a grain of salt.

Ryan’s lj post on 9/27/05 was about the release of AFYCSO that day. He talked a lot in interviews that season about how it was weird for him to see so many fans singing his lyrics back to him.

uhh most of the pictures that this person lists "from this era" of 2004/2005 are actually from 2006. so they definitely know what they're talking about here lol.

they list one of Ryan's livejournal posts and then say "I'm not sure of the exact date, but I know it was some time in 06." It was from June 24, 2006.

lol Audrey.

re: the Myrtle Beach theory

why is the part where Ryan called Brendon a golden god in late 2006 any different than when Brendon said this about Spencer that same season?

re: the 2006 mic-sharing & stage gay

fans would positively scream when Ryan & Brendon approached each other, especially in the last half of 2006. this moment in Munich in October 2006 seemed no different... the guys absolutely knew what they were doing.

the VMA performance just seemed like Ryan was still using Brendon as a safe space to look at so he wouldn't stare at his feet or guitar, but that is still very much something you could turn into a Ryden thing so carry on haha.

about the Rolling Stone interview

I'm laughing at the "squint a little harder" comment about finding Ryden content in 2008. That is so accurate.

re: Dylan's myspace (yes, Keltie ran a myspace for Hobo that anyone could grab pics from).

Ryan absolutely sounds like he's saying dude... also that would be normal.

the picture of the bracelet is normal

I'm just going to link to this post since it addresses many similar inaccurate points about early 2009.

I was about to side eye them so hard for posting the Lana Jade letter as real, but at least they added that she made multiple posts explaining that it wasn't her. And yes, obviously Brendon's best friend was Shane (not Ryan).

omg Ryan's tattoos are not about Brendon. Those are Tom Waits lyrics. Ryan was good friends with Thomas Dutton. About a year before getting the tattoos, Ryan was hanging out with him on tour in the UK and later told Kerrang that “a friend of mine in Forgive Durden turned me on to Tom Waits when we were in the UK… I’ve been listening to him ever since. His voice is so rough and dark. I’d never really heard anything like that.”

the sharing beds idea was misunderstood in the Billboard interview... all 4 guys slept on bunkbeds in the same room when they were recording AFYCSO. That's what Brendon's referring to.

re: the Bishop Gorman tshirt… Ryan was hardly that size in high school. But Brent went to Bishop Gorman too (and so did Paulina, who was also friends with Brendon). Brendon did borrow some of Brent’s stuff in 2004/2005 (like money for food while they were first touring). Just saying… it's def interesting, but it’s not an automatic Ryden connection.

I didn't read Spencer's tone in that out.com interview the same way... there's some relevant bits in this post.

about the red shirt

here's my general tag for Ryden stuff

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kimvvantae · 2 years

Text

saudade; 4 (m)

➜ no one is born to be alone and no one can be complete in oneself - that’s why, in this world, every person has a pair, someone that complements their soul in every aspect. you, however, are an exception to the rule, for the mark on your wrist indicates that your pair has passed away way before you were born.

pairing: vampire!taehyung x (f) reader

genre: angst, smut • soulmate au, supernatural au

warnings: mental health issues (depression, mentions of ptsd and a panic attack). explicit sexual content (soft dom!tae, loss of virginity, fingering, masturbation, oral (f receiving), dry humping, multiple orgasms, biting, unprotected sex, dirty talk). lowkey horror. lots of demonic stuff if it spooks you.

rating: 18+

word count: 21k

A/N: yeah i did it again :D you might be confused but this is ✨not✨ the final part yet :D i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing! as always, feedback is MUCH MUCH appreciated!

➜ Chapters: check out MASTERLIST

“Saudade is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present.” – Aubrey Bell

Every action has a consequence.

Is the action worth the consequence?

➳204

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

Taehyung does not look down at his servant and does not slow his pace. His steps echo around the castle - one of his most liked properties and one of the most hidden, a literal castle he bought and rebuilt around fifty years ago. In the middle of a forest, in the middle of a mountain chain, in the middle of some hidden corner of Europe.

At the time, Taehyung just thought that the idea of owning a castle would be funny. He knows that the small cities nearby talk about the existence of this castle and speculate about the people that live in it - rumors about an eccentric millionaire family that are part of a cult. Some people say that this family does not leave the castle and that they hold rituals and sacrifices and orgies. Curious tourists and teenagers tried to sneak closer several times over the decades; most of the time, they stay away due to the castle’s protective charms, but sometimes, when more stubborn humans manage to resist it and get closer, Taehyung has a lot of fun ordering his servants to walk around the forest looking like little girls in white dresses covered in blood. He always hears the screams of horror at the distance. This makes the rumors increase, but also helps keep them away.

Taehyung is not thinking of the castle’s history, of course. He’s thinking of a million things at the same time, not a thought about the castle. All of them somehow related to you.

You you you you you.

He’s angry. He’s sad. He’s guilty. Every time he remembers your crying face and the way light simply disappeared from your eyes as you realized he would leave - guilt crushes him. It weighs tons and tons.

Taehyung is not one to regret things or feel guilty about them; he’s not one to feel anything at this point. He doesn’t even remember how many vampires he hunted and killed over the decades. He understands that many of them were just like him - accepted to be transformed in the heat of the moment, maybe desperate to live one more day, lured by the promises of wealth and power of a heartless Primary… only to be left right after, their thirst for human blood untamable. Taehyung knows that many of those vampires that killed humans were acting on their instinct, not because they aimed to be more powerful.

This didn’t stop Taehyung from murdering them. Their pleas and tears and whimpers of pain never softened Taehyung’s heart. Never made him look back. Their blood and guts over his expensive shoes and black leather gloves didn’t disgust him or haunt him. It didn’t matter that this kind was less of an evil force and more of a desperate irrational animal trying to survive.

Taehyung didn’t care.

So it’s safe to say he’s also surprised at how much he cares that he’s causing this human girl so much pain.

Yet, this same train of thought reinforces for him, once again, how he must stay away from you, and how he shouldn’t let guilt take the best of him. “Taehyung” is a person he barely remembers; over the decades, he fully became Master V, and Master V is an assassin that does not hesitate to kill and is not bothered by the thought of killing.

Only God - if he exists, that is - knows how much he tried to not look at you at the hotel, how much he wanted to walk away and ignore your voice calling him - calling Taehyung, not Master V. He didn’t want to touch you with the same hands that mercilessly ended Adhar’s life only minutes before. If you had any idea of what he did to that man just before hugging you… you’d be disgusted and frightened of him. Taehyung still knows little about you, but what he knows is that you apparently lived a regular life in a regular family up until now. You don’t know the true ugly of this world. Taehyung doesn’t want you to ever face it.

Which… once again, makes him consider that, in his quest for keeping you safe, he might have committed a mistake.

“I did not ask your opinion, Vazzath.” Taehyung says harshly at the demon crawling by his side after many seconds. The servant - an ugly figure similar to a spider, as big as an adult labrador; instead of the torso where spiders usually are, there’s a simple wooden ball the size of a human head with a mischievous smirk carved on it - does not reply immediately, his wit gushed down by the sound of its own name. Taehyung always makes sure to repeat his servants’ names as much as he can. It asserts his dominance over them.

“Why are you so angry at me, My Lord? I only said out loud what you’re already thinking,” Vazzath says with that young male voice Taehyung actually hates, dripping with sarcasm and spite.

Most of his servants are not that brave to even talk to him at all - most of them don’t have actual thoughts of their own, acting like simple minded beasts - but Vazzath is not a simple lower demon. No; this is an upper demon, dangerous not because of its strength, but because it has a very astute mind. Demons that develop too much of a consciousness are the worst kind. They don’t kill or feed on human energy mindlessly. They do things because they want to. Vazzath specifically had been feeding for decades by lurking humans into suicide, whispering into their minds, encouraging them to take the most violent acts - until Taehyung bumped into it and decided it would be a useful asset.

It indeed is. Taehyung lets Vazzath voice its opinions because it is smart. Sometimes it makes good observations.

“You left more of your scent and your presence in the human girl,” Vazzath continues. “More vampires will be lured in… even worse, demons will start being lured in. Lower demons are already lurking… if an upper demon decides to approach, well… will you be able to act in time?”

“Won’t happen.” Taehyung says. He knows Vazzath is trying to make him doubt himself and feel insecure, but Taehyung took every precaution possible. Your campus, the dorms building, even your parents’ house - every place you usually visit is being watched by his best servants. Yes, Taehyung feels that lower demons are getting curious about you; he noticed that ever since your first encounter, your life force shifted in an abnormal way. Your spirit doesn’t vibrate like a normal human’s anymore - a shift probably caused by the string that connects you two thickening. Demons love to feed on strong life forces. More than that - if an upper demon starts considering that maybe this fragile human girl means something to Master V, that maybe they could hurt him by hurting you…

No. It won’t happen. I won’t commit the same mistake twice.

Taehyung tightens his fists. He doesn’t even like to imagine what would’ve happened to you if Adhar succeeded in his attempted kidnapping. It’s all the coven’s fault. That stupid witch swore you’d be safe, yet failed to even recognize a vampire in disguise. How incompetent can witches be? They like to act intimidating, but at the end of the day, they’re not much more than a regular human. They should be grateful that Taehyung does what he does.

He hears a soft chuckle inside his head and looks down at the ugly spider for the first time.

“May I say, this is entertaining. Despite everything, I have some level of respect for you, my Lord… for your intelligence and cold blood. But look at you right now… all worried about some girl. Almost like a human… couldn’t even resist seeing her-”

Taehyung stops walking abruptly and tightens his right fist in the air above the servant. The spider shakes, its wooden parts producing a cracking noise; Vazzath does not utter a groan or whimper, but Taehyung feels the excruciating pain crossing its sealed body.

“Careful with your words, Vazzath. Careful.”

He drops his hand and keeps walking. Vazzath takes some moments to recover.

Taehyung actually hates Vazzath for being so right. Yes, he is acting too human. Too Taehyung. Couldn’t resist the sound of you crying and pleading to see him when he heard your conversation with Uzros. He’s also impressed by that. Didn’t think you’d figure out you were being watched, as most humans do not notice demons’ presence until it’s too late, didn’t think you’d know Uzros name, didn’t think you’d understand that you have some sort of control over his servants - and most importantly - didn’t think you’d be brave enough to try. Taehyung knows little about you, but what he has learned up until now only makes him more curious to know more and more and more.

Fuck. He’s obsessed.

Obsessed by how your body fitted so well on his lap. How it felt right whenever he hugged you. Obsessed by the glow in your eyes and the color of your hair. Obsessed by how you weren’t scared of him - as humans are when he wants them to be - or only interested in his looks - as humans are when he wants them to be. When you looked at him, you actually looked. Taehyung knew that you looked and saw things most people can’t - things he hides very well; things that are not to be exposed.

You see Taehyung. Not Master V. Not any of the random pseudonyms he uses around the world. And suddenly, it’s like he’s a human boy who lost his mother and is in desperate need of affection and care and attention all over again. He wants to be taken care of as much as he wants to take care. He wants to let you run your fingers through his hair and hug him and he wants to cry in front of you - all the tears he held back for centuries.

At the same time - he wants his deepest instincts to take control of him. Your scent is still all over his clothes and your taste is still tingling in his tongue. He felt the heat between your legs as you sat on his lap and the way your fingers were shaking softly and the way your breathing quickened - and this almost sent him over the edge. Taehyung wanted to take you right then and right there. He wanted to run his hands over your body, skin slippery with your own sweat. He wanted to taste every corner of you. He imagined how your moans of pleasure would echo in that big, empty auditorium - your tiny, strangled voice; he wanted to feel how tight you are, your sweet juices dripping over him. He wanted to hear you moaning his name. Not Master V or one of the fake names; you’re the only one that can call him by his actual name. Taehyung. He wanted you like he never wanted anyone else.

You have no idea of how hard it was so get up and walk away.

But Taehyung did it anyway, for survival is still his strongest instinct, even after all those years. The lesson his mother taught him. He did all he did because he wanted to survive - and now, for the first time, he found someone to prioritize beyond anything else… even himself. He wants you to survive too, even if it means to stay away.

Even if it hurts.

Even if it puts him in trouble.

Taehyung senses him before he even opens the door to his office.

Vazzath shrieks at the new presence, and suddenly, all the other servants inside and outside the castle are very quiet.

The Winter Lord casually stands in front of the floor to ceiling windows, his hands behind his back, observing the scenery of the forest under the moonlight out there. He wears a “humble” light gray Zegna suit and a heavy Hublot on his right wrist, dark hair perfectly pushed back, exposing his forehead and flawless features. Taehyung knows he’ll be at a beneficent auction in Monaco tonight to have a meeting with his allies - that’s why he came to this castle, the closest location. The Lord summoned his presence.

He finally looks at Taehyung from over his shoulder, smirking.

“I really like the decoration here. Very dramatic.” He gesticulates with his finger around the room. The gothic theme was purposefully chosen, of course - all the furniture made of the finest wood, the arabesques notched on them, the gargoyle statues, the chandeliers, heavy curtains and the constant presence of wine red and moss green in the curtains and carpets. Taehyung even thought of keeping technology out of the castle for pure aesthetics. Other than lamps and hidden wi-fi routers (he needs to keep in touch with the SJK Company executives, after all), there is not much technology around.

“You did not come to talk about decoration,” Taehyung says after closing the door, tucking his hands in the pockets of his pants.

The Winter Lord shakes his head and his smirk widens. Slowly, he approaches a cabinet in the corner and touches a crystal bottle of whiskey with his fingertips - purely another decoration item.

“Do you miss it? Having the need to eat or drink?”

“No.” Taehyung simply shakes his head. He’s being honest. The Lord chuckles.

“Funny. Quattor and Drie told me that they miss the taste of human food. It’s a good thing about being human… feeding, for them, is also a pleasure, not just a need.” He patters his fingers over the wood. “Humans have such a fleeting, yet joyful experience, right? They feel everything to the fullest.”

Taehyung does not say anything. He doesn’t know where The Lord is trying to get with this.

“I see you met your human.” He tilts his head. “I always wondered if you’d really be strong enough to keep away from her, you know. Deep down, I wanted you to meet her, just to see what would happen. See, Taehyung, you’re such an interesting being to me.” The sound of his voice calling his name makes Taehyung feel a bitter taste on his tongue. The Lord does to him exactly the same thing Taehyung does to his servants… no one else - except you - ever call him by his real name. Dominance. “I’ve always been deeply concerned about everything happening in your life.” He scratches his chin. It’s such a natural movement, just proving how much he’s used to acting like a human. “But your storyline is starting to bother me, kid.”

The Lord approaches at slow, carefree steps. Taehyung doesn’t move, doesn’t change his expression. He still remembers their first encounter when he was only sixteen - The Lord’s presence was so overwhelming that rendered him powerless. Now, Taehyung has enough power to defend himself if he needs to. But he also knows that he’s not strong enough to defeat the most powerful Primary… not yet. The Winter Lord’s power is so strong that he feels it deep within his bones. This creature is different from anything else that has stepped foot on Earth - a sentient being inhabiting a body of what once was a human. He’s different from Taehyung or the other Sentinels. The Lord never had a soul. Because of that, he was able to gather an immeasurable amount of power. Almost unbeatable.

Almost.

“You’re the only Sentinel that never broke the Pact, accidently or not. Your… care for mankind is very amusing to me. Maybe because somehow you knew what would happen in the future?” The Lord wonders. “I appreciate it, you see. You never brought me any trouble and you’ve been a valuable asset.”

Though Taehyung’s expression doesn’t change, he feels the fire building up inside of him. Valuable asset. This is what Taehyung has been since he was ten years old. An asset. A servant. It didn’t change.

Taehyung doesn’t think he can take it anymore.

Calm down, he thinks. Not yet.

He knows The Lord is intensely trying to assess his thoughts and intentions, but Taehyung locked his mind safely. It’s not an easy task. A normal human, unhinged vampire or untrained witch would have their minds shattered if The Lord tried to assess them as strongly as he is doing right now.

The Lord never explained it directly, but since he was the one to transform Taehyung, they’ll always have a connection - a blood string. Taehyung is also forced to sporadically drink The Lord’s blood to keep his thirst in control, and it contributes to keeping the connection alive. The Lord uses it to watch and control the Sentinels. A single thought of betrayal and he’d immediately know. For decades, Taehyung didn’t understand why The Lord seemed to know things about him that no one should know, even things he only thought about. That’s when he started to notice The Lord’s presence within his own mind.

He was always there. Quiet. Watching. A silent, constant threat.

This was, on many levels, much worse than anything Taehyung went through during his human life.

Taehyung is, indeed, currently the most powerful Sentinel, even if he’s the youngest of the five. His increase in power did not happen just due to his natural capabilities and it certainly didn’t happen due to his “loyalty”. Taehyung seeked more power. A Sentinel doesn’t need as many servants as Taehyung has, doesn’t need to become a master of the dark arts. They just need to do what The Winter Lord asks, which most of the time is killing and intimidation.

However, as always, Taehyung is relying on his survival instincts.

He always knew that The Lord could simply discard him if he didn’t want him anymore, even if Taehyung proved over and over again to be strong and, as he said himself, “valuable”. If it got to that point, Taehyung wouldn’t simply let it happen.

His painful human life taught him to be patient. His lonely overextended inhuman life taught him to be angry. He uses both on his advantage.

The Winter Lord is quietly watching. Taehyung is quietly waiting. Silently learning, achieving more knowledge. Taming demon after demon after demon. Making sure his name is known and feared.

The Lord doesn’t like it. Hates that Taehyung learned how to block his mind. Knows that he became dangerously powerful, slowly drifting away from his grip.

Both of them have been waiting until a confrontation finally happens. And the fact that Taehyung met you might be the spark to lighten the fire.

“You made a deal with the coven.” The Lord says. He might sound nonchalant, but Taehyung feels the anger underneath. “The very same coven that has been plotting against me for years and made me lose territory.”

Taehyung’s blank expression doesn’t change.

“I cannot keep direct contact with my pair. Yet, I can’t leave her unprotected. This is my way of respecting the Pact.”

The Lord goes silent.

He steps closer, now standing right in front of Taehyung. The two males glare at each other like two lions measuring each other.

Taehyung feels his servants - in and outside of the castle - getting very, very silent, as if holding their breaths in anticipation and fear.

“Are you respecting the Pact,” The Lord says quietly. Menacingly. “Or plotting against me?”

Taehyung narrows his eyes.

“It’s a witch’s duty to protect mankind before anything else. Protecting my pair is their responsibility, something they can’t refuse. I am just assuring her safety in a smart way.”

The Lord huffs, smirks.

“You indeed are very smart.”

He puts his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and leans closer, putting his lips close to Taehyung’s ear.

One of the rare moments in which The Lord shows his true nature.

He doesn’t sound like a young man full of charisma anymore. He sounds anything but human. A deep, guttural, horrendous voice that does not match the angelic looks, a voice so imposing and hideous and unnatural that, even though he’s speaking quietly, every animal, every insect, every cricket around the castle go silent at the sound of that voice; it’s like wind itself stops howling for a moment, afraid that the minimal noise will attract this being’s attention.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten your allegiance to me, Taehyung. I hope you haven’t forgotten that it doesn’t matter how powerful you are, my blood is the only thing that prevents you from being the type of vampire you hunt and despise. And I hope you don’t forget that if your pair gets in the way of your servitude… she will face the consequences.” He tilts his head. “You know I have this tendency of getting rid of obstacles.”

The Lord pats his shoulder, sending him a last meaningful gaze - empty, soulless eyes that could break a spirit in two - before opening the door and walking out of the office.

Taehyung just moves again when he feels that The Lord left the property.

The woods are still dead quiet, however. The servants are static, haven’t moved one inch.

Every live creature with a thinking mind and survival instincts can feel the obscure, intense, overwhelming hatred exhaling from the only vampire left in the castle. They can feel it deep within their bodies and spirits like a wave of heat, like burning fire, like electricity frying their systems. Even the most sensitive humans at the city nearby can feel shivers crawling over their skins, although they cannot comprehend what caused it or why they feel the sudden dread.

Master V, the ruthless Fifth Sentinel, has been patient for over two hundred years.

His patience is running thin now.

Survival has always been his prevalent instinct. Now… your safety is also his priority. And if finally breaking the chains that tie him to that creature is the way to keep you safe…

So, be it.

➳20

You wake up in a jump.

A thin layer of sweat covers all of your body, gluing the shirt you wear to your skin. Your fingers shake, your breathing is short and fast, your heart beats at an absurdly fast rate. The pull back to consciousness was so sudden and brusque that you’re left astounded; for a second, you don’t even recognize the familiar surroundings of your dorm room.

You heard a voice.

It’s hard to describe it. A voice that didn’t sound male or female - didn’t sound human. You can’t remember what it said, but in the darkness of your dream, you heard it resonating deep within your bones and spirit; so guttural, so horrendous that, for a moment, it felt as if your mind was going to shatter. You just wanted to get away from it, to hide from it, before that thing - whatever owns that voice - could notice your presence.

It takes a few minutes until your body stops shaking.

Still bewildered because of the scare and the way you woke up so abruptly, you tatter around in search of your phone. You’re forced to narrow your eyes as the cold device in your hand lits up; it’s not even 6AM. The morning sun shyly peeks from the breach on your window.

You groan quietly, staring blankly into the wall. Although you just woke up, your body feels heavy.

Your sleep has been haunted by nightmares for the past few days. Most nights, you forcefully revive the scariest moment of your life - a pale man whose eyes overflowed with nothing but violence and malice rendering you powerless, sinking his teeth on your throat, sucking literal life out of your body. Your mother was right about you having PTSD, after all - except it has nothing to do with a car accident. You’re getting used to waking up with your heart beating fast, panting, frantically looking around your dorm room in search of any possible monster hiding in the shadows, ready to attack you.

To say you’re sleep deprived is an understatement.

You tighten the duvet around your body, bringing your legs as close as possible to your chest - as if you’re trying to sink inside the mattress and disappear.

Taehyung didn’t come to calm you down inside your dream anymore.

He did it that time at your parents’ house. He said you pulled him in that time… you don’t know how you did it, and you’d like to learn to pull him in, but apparently, you can’t do it anymore.

Or maybe…

Maybe he’s just ignoring you.

It’s ridiculous that you already feel the now familiar weight within your chest, the sudden urge to cry, as you remember the things he told you five days ago before he left you alone in that empty auditorium. That beautiful, beautiful man who held you so tenderly, who spoke so softly; just remembering his deep and velvety voice makes goosebumps crawl your skin. The man you so desperately want to know more about… or just have by your side at all.

Your complement - the same man that, five days ago, said that you couldn’t be together.

“For your own safety”, he said. “A Pact forbids me from being with you”, he said. “I am a terrible person”, he said. None of that was able to convince you or heal the wound he left in your heart. You don’t doubt his words, however - you know he was saying the truth, though you can’t explain exactly how you’re so sure -; you just got introduced to this new world of monsters, demons and witches, and the knowledge that these beings mask themselves within what is considered normal still scares you. You’re aware that you know too little of all this to doubt him.

Yet, repeating his reasons over and over in your head does little to lessen your suffering. How can you not suffer with all this? How can you not cry yourself to sleep when you know you’re doomed to a life of loneliness - all because of some Pact, the choices someone else made for you when you weren’t even aware this existed?

The emotional turmoil you’ve been through for the last two months or so is finally beginning to affect you physically. As if not being able to sleep much more than a few hours per night isn’t enough, your appetite is almost nonexistent; the dark circles around your eyes, the obvious - and worrisome - weight loss makes you look sick all the time. Chaeyoung is doing her best efforts to cheer you up and even willing to spend more time with you than with Lisa, yet, whenever you come back to your dorm after a day full of classes you didn’t pay attention to, all you do is lay on bed and stare at the ceiling blankly.

Maybe Taehyung is right.

Maybe never even knowing he exists would’ve been better.

You were never really happy in your lifetime, but you were fine, at least. No, “fine” is not the right word… you were resigned. You accepted your condition, there was nothing you could do about it; daydreaming about a different reality was worthless and only made you worse. After you found out about Taehyung, though, you’ve been miserable. Somehow, thinking your pair was dead - an immutable fact - was much easier to accept than knowing that he is alive somewhere and refuses to be with you.

You shiver under the duvet, closing your eyes tightly. You wish you could put this blame - this anger - into someone. Someone to hate for making your life and Taehyung’s so hard. Sadly, there’s no one to blame… so, once again, you quietly and childishly curse the Universe for dooming you like this, unable to fall asleep again, until it’s time to get up for another colorless day.

“Yes, you are right, Hanna,” Mr. Park says, nodding at his student. “There is a social construct behind this issue.”

You sink on the chair even more, your eyebrows unconsciously knitting into a frown. Of course, no one in the classroom is paying attention to you, all eyes focused on the very eloquent professor, but it feels as if this class was made especially for you. Like some type of sick joke.

I didn’t need this today.

“Emotional dependence is when an individual allows others to affect their feelings and emotions and becomes dependent on them to feel happy. This negatively impacts self-esteem, since its formation depends on third parties.” Mr. Park continues. “But, just like you said, this has always been extremely accepted and romanticized within society, when the dependency is over a person’s pair.”

Oh fuck.

You roll your eyes, not even understanding why you’re annoyed. The sound of your classmates typing this definition on their laptops around you gives you a headache.

I really, really didn’t need this today.

“That’s why this type of emotional dependency is much harder to diagnose, and much harder for a patient to accept. How can someone understand that they’re literally “lovesick” when everywhere we look - media, marketing… movies, books, songs… tell you over and over again that you’re supposed to feel this way? That you’re supposed to love someone so much that it becomes self-penance?”

You tap your feet impatiently, feeling very tempted to leave the classroom. It’s almost like he knows.

One of your classmates raises his hand, and Mr. Park nods his head, encouraging the student to speak up. “But isn’t it scientifically proven that the relationship between you and your pair will be stronger? Get more intense reactions from you?”

“You are also right. When we meet our pairs, our brain chemicals literally modify. So, if you haven’t met your pair yet, don’t get embarrassed if you start acting silly out of sudden when you meet them. It’s just your brain getting used to the sudden burst of dopamine.” He earns the whole classroom a light chuckle - except from you, of course. “You just said exactly where I was trying to get. It is true that the relationship between pairs will always feel much more intense than any other. So, how do we know that this intensity crossed the line of what’s healthy and what’s harmful? How do we see that our patient is caring too much about their pair’s opinions and feelings, until it starts to affect their self-esteem in a negative way?”

Bullseye, Mr. Park.

No, a stubborn part of your brain complains, I can’t be emotionally dependent. My case is totally different than anything Mr. Park will ever understand. I have all the reasons to feel the way I feel.

Right?

You cross your arms, sinking even more on the chair, feeling offended on a personal level. You haven’t even begun taking notes yet - which you should, but you can’t bring yourself to take action. You just stare at the shiny keychain hanging from the backpack of the person sitting in front of you. It’s a small heart, filled with blue and purple glitter. Your eyes are not focused enough, though, nor are your ears paying attention to the professor’s voice anymore, barely a noise in the back of your head.

Before you woke up from your nightmare, you slept, what… three hours? Probably less.

It’s starting to weigh on you right now.

You blink several times, trying to push the sleep away. Unsuccessfully. Mr. Park’s melodious and deep voice sounds like a soft lullaby to your ears now… your eyelids feel heavy, almost impossible to keep them open.

Maybe if you just close your eyes for a moment, they will burn less. Just for a quick moment. Of course you won’t sleep during class-

•

At first, it’s just darkness.

Endless. Peaceful.

You can hear a faint, familiar male voice in the back of your consciousness… Professor Park?

It gets quieter and quieter, as if you’re being pulled away. It is not aggressive, however; feels like being gently carried by the calm flow of a river. Refreshing. Almost like an enchantment; a good smell, luring you in; inviting you to come over, to take a peek.

You just let the flow carry you.

Then, you’re hearing voices again.

Indistinct and muffled, as if you’re underwater. A male voice you do not recognize, speaking in a language you do not understand.

This picks your interest at the same rate your consciousness takes form.

You’re… you’re actually somewhere.

Space around you starts to solidify itself; you can’t see more than a few meters away, for the vision gets blurrier and blurrier. You can only see the things close to you with some sort of clarity.

It’s a meeting room.

A long table in U format; all of the seats are taken by people in suits. Indistinct faces paying attention to… oh, there’s a man standing in front of them. It’s the owner of the voice you heard before. Judging by his professional tone and the way he gesticulates, he’s making a presentation. He’s even more indistinct than all the others because you’re standing the farthest from him.

Not exactly standing, actually. More like… floating. You notice with awkwardness that you cannot feel your body - as if you don’t have one. Although you feel weightless, it’s tremendously hard to move; you're stuck in place. You’d like to explore more of this room, but your limited vision only lets you perceive this table, the people around it, and…

You look at your left side, to a woman in an elegant suit, as she takes notes on her iPad in a foreign language.

You do recognize something she wrote, though, at the top of the screen.

SJK Construction & Engineering.

This pulls your neutral, accepting state to a fully lucid one.

What exactly are you doing here?

Is this a dream? It must be… but it doesn’t really feel like one.

A swift motion on the far corner of your vision gets your attention. With much effort, you manage to turn around to take a look at it.

It’s the person sitting at the central point of the U table. This meeting’s host.

If you had a body to react, your breathing would’ve been caught in your lungs. You would’ve let a surprised gasp; you would’ve widened your eyes with the vision.

It’s Taehyung.

Differently from anything else in this room, you can see him in glorious detail. Taehyung wears gray - a striped suit, silver tie, and vest in a darker shade of gray. You don’t understand much of this matter, but it looks like it’s a tailored suit, made especially to fit his body only. The way he sits exudes the usual elegance you’ve seen before, though right now, he looks more poised and contained, expressionless. His eyes are fixated on the man doing the presentation. You watch in awe as he takes quick notes on the iPad in front of him, a heavy Cartier watch on his wrist.

You’re floating directly by his side.

And all you can do is just… watch him.

He doesn’t utter a word. Doesn’t show any change in expression. He somehow looks… different from the person you met. Stern, intimidating - the type of person you wouldn’t want to bother. The striking gaze is there, only much colder. Light-years distant from the warm, caring, yet flustering way he looked at you.

You miss him so, so much.

If you had a body, you’d run your fingers through his soft dark brown locks. You’d hide your face in the safety of his neck. You’d lock your arms around his body and you wouldn’t want to let go.

If you had a voice, you’d call his name.

You want to.

You make immense effort to speak, to force any sound to come out of you. But you do not have a body. You just want to get closer to him, to call his attention.

Look at me, you beg; you would’ve voiced it if you could. Please, look at me. I am right here.

For the first time, Taehyung’s seems distracted from the presentation.

He looks down at the table, eyebrows knitting softly in a subtle expression of confusion.

I am right here. I am right here. I am right here.

He turns his head in your direction slowly.

And sees you.

You can’t fathom what exactly he is seeing, for you are nothing but a floating consciousness; but you know he is in fact seeing you. His eyes widen in utter surprise and confusion, his lips part slightly.

For the briefest moment, it looks like he’s about to say your name-

Then everything is gone.

•

There’s no more heart-shaped keychain in front of you anymore.

You look around, confused for a second, before realizing that your classmates are slowly making their way towards the exit, packing their things and talking.

You blink several times, adjusting yourself on the chair - apparently, you were about to fall off; your neck aches due to the painful position you were in. You check your phone, realizing with embarrassment that you slept during the ten final minutes of the class.

Your fast heartbeat thunders on your ears. There’s a tingling sensation on the tips of your fingers.

What the hell was that dream?

Was it just a dream? Just your lonely and depressed imagination craving to see Taehyung one more time?

Or…

Or were you really there?

You get up and put the backpack over one shoulder; the fast movement makes your head spin for a moment, either because you only had a cup of milk this morning or your sluggish, sleep deprived brain. The hallways are full of students chatting loudly, yet you can’t pay attention to anything.

The idea forming in your head would’ve made you laugh two or three months ago. And to think you were such a skeptical person.

Taehyung’s voice echos loud and clear.

Normal humans feel this connection… the string… to some extent, but with us it’s a little bit different… stronger, I’d say.

I felt your distress and you pulled me in.

In your short sleep, you felt gently pulled in.

Is it possible that-?

“Y/N!”

You literally jump when Chaeyoung appears out of nowhere, draping her arm around yours.

“Did I scare you? I’m sorry,” she says, smiling widely. It’s kind of amazing how she manages to look astonishing even without makeup and with that simple high bun. You just nod and gulp, feeling your heart racing, and start walking again with Chaeyoung quite literally putting all the weight of her body on you.

“I’m feeling kinda off today,” you admit quietly. Chaeyoung’s smile diminishes a bit as she eyes you with worry, a soft knit between her eyebrows. “Don’t look at me like that.”

She lowers her head and stares at her own sneakers for a bit. “I… don’t want to push you or anything,” she starts in a low voice so only you can hear. “But I see there’s something happening with you… something bad… that you won’t tell me about. You can open up to me if you want to, Y/N. You know you can.”

For a moment, you feel your heart melting. Your gaze softens and a small smile appears on your lips.

“What did I do to deserve you, Chae?” You say tenderly. She smiles again, making you rest your head on her shoulder.

“You must’ve been a saint in your past life,” she jokes, wiggling her eyebrows, and earning a light giggle from you.

Chaeyoung has no idea how bad you want to share your burdens with her. It’d be so much easier to handle all of this if you at least had someone to talk to. But you understand that telling her anything would just lead you to a psych ward - or worse; both Sumin and Taehyung said that this hidden world is hidden for a reason. Maybe, exposing Chaeyoung to any information would put her in danger.

“I… don’t wanna talk about it. Not right now.” Or ever. “But thank you, Chae. It… means a lot to me.”

Chaeyoung lands a kiss on the top of your head.

“It’s alright. No pressure.” A few seconds of silence pass by. “Where do you want to eat?”

You lift your head from her shoulder and frown. “I’m not that hungry.”

“You will eat.” She says in a stern tone. “Even if I have to force food down your throat. C’mon, let’s go to that pasta restaurant you like. It’s on me today.”

Pasta does sound nice, actually.

But your short boost of excitement dies as soon as it comes - because, when you step out of the building, you see it.

Your brain doesn't understand what you’re looking at at first.

In front of the building, there’s a great square, usually packed with students at this hour; today is no different. Dozens of students walking around in small groups, some sitting on the grass or benches despite the cool weather, a lot of them gathering at the local cafe. It’s a place full of sounds and colors and life.

Except…

The far corner at your right side.

There’s something there.

You do not have exact words to describe it. Looks like a shadow, a pitch black smoke. Your stomach drops and you shiver when you realize that it’s not just a smoke; it has a form. Standing tall over everyone else, the thing has a humanoid shape, crawling around like an animal. Its arms are awkwardly long, its “head” has no facial features - only two shiny red dots that seem to be its eyes. It emits darkness and cold as it wanders around.

People don’t seem to notice its presence; they walk past it, unbothered, but you notice that where it stops, they seem to avoid - as if they can feel that there’s something strange there.

Horror fills your system.

The thing looks around frantically. When a human gets too close, it stands up to sniff them - and emits a sound similar to that of a hurt animal… it sounds too much like a frustrated grunt. The thing stumbles around, moving at an unnerving speed, sniffing humans back and forth.

Your feet are planted on the floor.

“What?” Chaeyoung asks in confusion when you stop walking.

She can’t see it. No one else can.

That thing is searching for someone.

You observe, terrified, as it starts to stumble in your direction.

It’s searching for you.

You let go of Chaeyoung’s arm.

“I- I gotta use the bathroom.” You say, not giving her time to question you, before turning around and entering the building again.

It’s hard to walk past the crowd. Your heart races as adrenaline spreads throughout your system, putting you in a state of total alert. Some people look at you with awkwardness, for you can’t walk at a normal pace; you’re almost running at this point. You don’t even know where you’re going anymore, you just want to distance yourself from that thing.

Finally, you find a restroom and enter it, closing the door right behind you - not that it’ll be of much use, since you can’t lock it. You walk on your back slowly, panting; all the stalls are empty, meaning you’re actually alone.

Your back hits the wall.

You stare at the door with widened eyes, shaking fingers, uneasy breathing, weak legs.

There are only muffled voices out there.

It starts getting colder. Darker.

It’s out there. It’s out there. It’s out there.

You have nowhere to run to. Getting here was a dumb idea.

What if it enters the restroom? What will you do?

Panic finally takes control.

“Uzros!” You call in a shaky voice.

The lights flash briefly.

Then - it’s right there, standing on the sink; the hideous wooden doll you fear almost as much as the thing out there. You avoid even remembering that it apparently follows you everywhere; the single thought is enough to make you shiver, yet you’re desperate right now. You notice that, strangely, it doesn’t have a reflection on the mirror behind it.

“Y-Yes, M-Mistress-s-s?” its voice rings in your head.

You weakly point towards the door.

“W-What is that?” You ask in a breathy voice.

Uzros turns its head slowly towards the door. Shit, you hate the noise it makes every time it moves.

“Oh! D-Do you s-see them now?” You just nod. “It’s a d-d-demon.”

You almost choke. “A demon?”

“Y-Yes. It’s s-s-s-searching for y-you.”

Your legs get even weaker with the confirmation; your heart seems about to implode within your chest. “And you’re not gonna do anything about it?!”

Uzros looks at you again.

“Do not-t worry, M-M-Mistress-s. It cannot p-p-perceive you.” You frown.

“What?”

The marionette sits on the sink in such a natural movement that your stomach twirls. It’s weird to see that thing acting so human. Its voice doesn’t sound worried in the slightest.

“T-There’s an invisibility ch-charm on y-you,” Uzros explains. “C-C-Creatures like t-that can f-f-feel your lif-fe force, b-but they cannot s-s-see you or know exactly where y-y-you are.”

You gulp, tightening your hands in fists. “Why is it searching for me?”

Uzros tilts its head. “Y-Your life f-force has b-been shifting ever s-s-since your firs-s-st encounter with M-Master V,” it calmly explains. “And d-d-demons feed on s-s-strong life f-f-forces. T-That’s one of the reasons-s-s M-Master V has to k-keep his dis-s-stance; t-the more your spirit shifts, more attractive it will be to d-d-demons like that.”

You stare back at the door again and sigh, trying to breathe normally again. Shit. This felt like a borderline panic attack. You don’t want anyone to see you in this state.

“Uzros, c-can you keep everyone away from this restroom for a while?” You ask quietly.

Immediately, you hear the sound of the door locking, even though the doll didn't move an inch.

“Of c-c-course.” Uzros says happily.

You rest your head against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment, and hug yourself. This is all too overwhelming.

“More of those things have been following me?” You ask quietly.

“Y-Yes. Many.” It doesn’t even hesitate. “Y-Y-Your s-s-spirit vibrates-s-s in a different f-frequency than anyone els-s-se; even I f-fail to understand why it is-s-s. It’s alluring to d-demons.”

“But this is the first time I see one.”

“Y-You mus-s-st have opened your third eye.” You look at him again.

“My what?”

“T-The s-s-s-spiritual eye,” Uzros elaborates. “Y-You d-do not h-have witch blood, so it mus-s-st be due to your s-s-string with M-Master V.”

“Witch blood?” You repeat in disbelief before shaking your head. “You know what? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

You rest your hands on your knees and close your eyes again, slowly feeling your heartbeat fall at a regular pace. A few minutes pass by in utter silence, as you wait until your body recovers from the trauma. This restroom is usually busy at this hour, but no one even tries to open the door.

You sigh again, straightening your back, eyes blankly staring at the ceiling.

“How can I be sure that these things won’t get me?” You ask after a while.

“M-Master V s-s-sent the best of t-the best to protect y-you. Wherever you g-go, y-you will not b-be p-p-perceived b-by unwanted eyes-s. T-There’s nothing to worry about.”

So… Taehyung keeps those creatures around you, yet he won’t meet you in person. At least he’s caring in his own way. For the first time, you don’t feel fear when you look at Uzros; that ugly marionette is your little connection with Taehyung, a sign that you’re not imagining anything.

“Unlock the door,” you say. “You can get invisible now.”

You hear the door lock once again and walk at firm steps towards it, not bothering to look back at Uzros.

You used to hate your part time job as a waitress. Now, you kind of miss it. If you hadn’t quit, at least you’d have something to fill your mind with - and not the stupid research you’re doing now.

You finally reached the hell pit of Reddit after visiting hundreds of pages online. None of them gave you the answers you needed, so you gave up and decided to click on the infamous website where you can’t trust anyone’s words. Half of your brain is frantically scrolling down the Astral Projection subreddit, reading testimonial after testimonial - some believable, some pure bullshit -, while the other half of your brain can’t stop saying how stupid this is (can’t let go of being skeptical that easily).

From the information you’ve collected, the short dream you had during class was, indeed, astral projection. As hours pass by, it gets harder to remember it in detail, but the way you felt was much different than a simple lucid dream… especially that moment when Taehyung seemed to notice your presence. Most importantly, it was different from your recurring nightmares.

You’ve never had an out-of-body experience like that before - but you’re experiencing many things you weren’t aware of for the past few days. Uzros even said that your “life force” is changing, whatever that means, due to your connection with Taehyung.

Does it mean that this connection still remains even during your sleep?

Taehyung mentioned that you pulled him in during that nightmare… did Taehyung unconsciously pull you in this time?

You huff, eyes burning after staring at the laptop screen for so long, and finally close it. The inside of the cafe is less busy than when you got here. It’s your favorite cafe, since it’s some blocks away from the campus - which means the possibility of meeting loud students here is way smaller. Bossa nova plays on a comfortable volume, and the delicious smell of chocolate and cookies fill the air.

You chew one more piece of donut laying over the table - and it tastes like iron. Food just has not been sitting well anymore, no matter how much you try. You couldn’t even finish your lunch with Chaeyoung today.

Shoving your hands inside the pockets of your coat, you stare at nothing in particular, feeling that familiar sorrow settle in your chest. This is so tiring. You have no energy to do pretty much anything - and you, in fact, were supposed to be searching for a proper apartment, thanks to the “compensation” that was deposited on your bank account a few days ago (you had to sit down when you saw the notification on your phone. Never had that much money in your lifetime). You don’t remember giving your bank info to the demon lady at the SJK building, so you’re not sure how they managed to make the deposit - but considering everything that has happened recently, this is the least of your worries.

Besides, having $40,000 when you’re essentially broke is not something to complain about. This money will hold you pretty well without a shitty side job, and will help you get a new apartment; you’re tired of living at the campus dorm. You were lucky enough to not have to share it with a roommate, but it’s such a small space… not to mention that people keep stealing your milk from the shared fridge, every time you use the laundry some of your socks disappear, you’re tired of that weird girl down the corridor that knocks on your door early in the morning to try to sell her scented candles, and some nights the noises are unbearable. You need to have your own place.

Usually, you’d be super excited about this. You know you’re not acting like yourself. God. You really miss Dr. Jung in moments like this.

You just realize that you’re almost sleeping on the chair again when, suddenly, someone sits on the empty table in front of you.

You frown, confused and surprised - there are so many empty tables! - but then your eyes focus on who it is and your face immediately distorts in a scowl.

“Hi.” Sumin - the witch - says with a lip tightened smile. She looks much more hesitant and careful than last time you saw her - most probably because of the death stare you send her.

“What do you want?” You simply cannot hide your distaste.

Sumin blinks, knitting her eyebrows, clearly taken aback. “Hey, no need to talk to me like that. I just came to see how you are.”

You chuckle sarcastically and tilt your head. “I’m great. Not because of you, obviously.”

The brunette woman gulps and avoids her gaze, having the decency to at least look embarrassed. “Okay. You have all the rights to be upset at me.” You wait for an apology for almost letting you die, but this woman’s ego seems too big to fit her body. “So, I’ll make this conversation short.” She rests her crossed arms over the table, leaning in your direction. “You keep doing exactly what I told you not to. You’ve been in contact with a demon servant again, isn’t it?”

Her tone and words make you feel genuinely outraged.

“First of all, how do you even know that?”

“I can feel that your aura has been dirtied by an unholy being.” She explains. “It only happens when someone gets in contact with a demon.” For a moment, her gaze softens. “Y/N, I know that you must be feeling lost in the midst of everything. But demons - even tamed demons - are dangerous to normal humans like you. Even though they won’t harm you intentionally, their presence is enough to disturb the human mind and spirit. You shouldn’t seek them for answers.”

“And who should I seek? You? The person that assured me that I was safe, only to put me in the hands of a lunatic that almost kidnapped me one minute later?” Right in the open wound. It seems that anger just builds up further the more you speak. “Say whatever you want about those things, they’ve been much more helpful than your people. At least they tell me what’s going on.”

Sumin is definitely taken aback. She pauses for a moment, surprised by your sudden burst. “I already said… there are many things that are supposed to stay hidden.”

“Hide what? For fuck’s sake, I’ve seen it, Sumin! I’ve lived it and almost died because of it!” You look around for a moment, realizing that you’re starting to call unwanted attention, and lean closer to her, lowering your tone again. “I keep seeing things and having nightmares every damn time I close my eyes. You can’t expect me to just try to have a normal life after all this, and you can’t expect me to not search for answers if you refuse to do so for whatever reason.”

Sumin goes silent for a few moments, watching you with attention.

"You opened the third eye." She remarks, more to herself than to you.

You huff and lean back on the chair. "So you're just gonna ignore everything I just said like that?"

The brunette woman narrows her eyes - and suddenly, you know that she's not just looking at you; she's looking through you. You tighten your fists, feeling increasingly uncomfortable and exposed.

"Stop that." You say firmly - though you don't even know exactly what she's doing.

Sumin blinks and straightens her back slowly.

"Y/N." The way she says your name - quiet and much more serious than before - makes you shiver. The entire atmosphere around you shifts. "I made a deal with V to keep you protected. He is a vampire and I am a witch - we are natural enemies. I accepted this because a witch must never deny protection to a human. I still don't fully understand V's interest in you and I do not trust a being like him." You notice that she didn't add "Master", just further proving her dislikeness for Taehyung. He told you that he has many enemies… “But I must warn you. Although you’re under my protection… the more you know, the more dangerous it’ll be.”

“I didn’t ask for any of this!” You’re quick to defend yourself. “I didn’t open this third eye you just talked about on purpose!”

“I know. Many things are beyond your control. Yet, the more you seek, the more you’ll know.” The gaze she sends you… does she know Taehyung visited you in person? It makes you even more uncomfortable. “It’s true that I failed to protect you, and for that I apologize. But my job is not only to protect you physically. Our world has laws and rules and authorities. It’s easy to defend you if you’re just a clueless normal human. Yet, the more you know… the more you drift away from your simple human nature… the harder it will be for these authorities to see you as innocent. And if it happens, Y/N,” she leans closer, as if to reinforce her final words; “you’ll be judged and punished by our rules as one of us. Did I make myself clear?”

You do not reply.

All you can do is stare at her, a mix of confusion, fear and worry forming inside of you.

It is the answer Sumin needed. Without saying anything else, she gets up and leaves - leaving you alone with your half eaten donuts and your troubling mind.

You become lucid in a snap.

The moment your mind takes consciousness of the current situation, you start looking around frantically. You’ve been stuck in place for a while - just passively letting yourself be carried by the familiar flow until your surroundings gained form; not questioning anything happening around you, as it happens when one’s dream is not under their control.

You are in control now, however.

You realize with excitement that, now, you can move around - although it is still not an easy task. Your sight is still extremely limited; it is as if things just start existing on the small radius of a few meters around you. Beyond that, there’s just blurry nothingness.

Your eyes scan the place with curiosity.

It is clearly an office. The Victorian decoration of the room makes you amused; it’s like you were pulled straight into the past - and you just realize that this is not in fact what’s happening when you see the lamps on the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The walls are painted in a dark shade of green and beautifully patterned carpet covers the entire floor. Although it’s obvious that the sun still shines out there, the large windows are covered by curtains. The wall on the far corner is completely taken by shelves and hundreds of books. You approach it for further inspection; some of these books are new, but some look ancient. You realize with surprise that the books are organized by language. The subject of the books range from economic books to History books, from biographies of famous artists to architecture themed ones. You can’t find a single fiction book, however.

There is also a fireplace; a great painting hangs above it. It’s the portrait of a beautiful young woman, whose appearance is oddly familiar to you. Her long and dark brown hair frames her elegant features; she wears a simple bright yellow dress. She has a calm and warm expression. The artist that painted this portrait must surely be very skilled.

Then, something even more amusing catches your attention.

There are three portraits placed over the fireplace - the only portraits. You come closer to it, trying to see better.

Two photographs and one painting. The first portrait is of an old man, probably around his eighties if not more, sitting on a chair in elegant clothing; he is surrounded by five people, three men and two women; his adult children, by the looks of it. The photo is very old, a classic family portrait from the XVIII century; it is grainy, black and white.

The second photo is also a classic family portrait, seemingly from the same period. A beautiful woman with long black hair and fine clothes sits in the center holding a baby in her arms; a boy around 8 years old stands by her right side, while another boy that looks 5 years old stands by her left. Behind her, there is a tall, handsome man - definitely her husband.

The third portrait is a painting - one you’re very familiar with. It is bigger than the other two, yet framed in simple dark wood, not the fancy golden frames the other two photos have. You have a print of this painting glued to your wall.

A portrait of Taehyung.

In this moment, you hear a noise behind you.

You turn around to focus on Taehyung.

He stands in front of the vintage writing desk. There are open folders and papers all over, as well as a computer. Slowly, you get closer to him, as if hypnotized by the man. You watch as he types something quick on the keyboard; then takes a pen and writes something on a piece of paper. Briefly, you notice that one of the closed folders has SJK Company’s logo printed on it. He’s focused on his task, whatever it is - eyebrows knitted, sharp jawline clenched in a serious expression. Taehyung wears a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up his elbows and the same silver tie as earlier.

He’s mesmerizing.

You could honestly watch him work forever. Every little thing about him astonishes you; his long fingers, the veins on his arms, the sharpness of his jawline, the way he briefly pushes his hair back, exposing his forehead. The way he holds the pen elegantly and scribbles. You notice, yet again, the thin scars on the palms of his hands. His beautifully sun kissed skin.

You wish to touch him. All you want to do is touch the skin of his face with your fingertips, feel its softness. But you’re not here physically. You don’t even know where “here” is.

Watching him in silence will have to suffice for now.

Taehyung’s phone resting on the desk rings. He is about to reach over to take it… but stops mid action.

He narrows his eyes and turns his head, as if he heard something from far. Then, he closes them - focusing, for so long that the phone stops ringing.

When Taehyung opens his eyes again, his expression has softened.

He rests his arms over the writing desk and lowers his head, sighing. You’re confused. What’s happening?

You intently watch as Taehyung sits on the leather chair behind him, throwing all the weight of his body on it. He throws his head back, exposing his neck and glorious jawline; his Adam's apple bobs as he gulps, he loosens his tie. Taehyung stays like this for some moments, eyes closed. It looks like he’s resting.

Until he speaks.

“I can sense you here, love.”

His voice is quiet and gentle.

It makes you melt immediately.

There is no one else in the room. Is he… is he talking to you?

You want to reply, but it’s impossible to make any sound come out of you.

“It’s so… warm.” He opens a small smile that would’ve made you breathless if you had lungs to breath. Taehyung licks his lips and stares at the ceiling.

However, as usual, you notice the constant sadness settle in his expression.

“I’m sorry.” His voice is even quieter now. The smile has disappeared. “I will let you sleep in peace, love.”

He’s doing it again.

He’s pushing you away.

The pull back is not violent or aggressive - but suddenly, you feel sucked away from him; the scenery around you warps and dissipates as you fall back into darkness.

The last thing you see before waking up is the sorrow in his beautiful dark eyes.

You wake up with Chaeyoung tapping your shoulder softly. She has a wide smile on her lips, hair pulled up, a green face mask and her familiar pink pajamas.

“Come on, sleepyhead. I ordered us croissants,” she says.

It takes a while until you remember where you are - Chaeyoung’s new apartment, which she moved in past week. Her new job was enough for her to move out of the campus dorms. There are still cardboard boxes in the corners of the bedroom, but besides that, she’s got almost everything in place. Chaeyoung invited you for the usual movie night you guys haven’t been making for a while. You agreed to come because you thought that, maybe, she would be a great distraction from the conversation you had earlier with Sumin - and because you thought that maybe sleeping away from your place would make the nightmares stop.

You were kind of right, apparently. No nightmares to wake you up gasping in the middle of the night.

The dream you just had, however, was much worse than those nightmares in a certain way.

Chaeyoung is still chirping around the room - something about being happy that it’s friday, and wanting to go shopping for clothes with you - but you cannot focus as you sit on her bed, eyes burning, hair a complete mess. Chaeyoung just realizes that something’s wrong when you don’t reply to any of her words.

The smile immediately fades from her lips, being replaced by a worried expression, as she notices the quiet tears dripping down your cheeks.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” She rushes to your side in a second, putting her arm over your shoulders.

You shake your head, unable to speak.

Chaeyoung doesn’t try to make you speak, however. She just pulls you closer, making you rest your face in the crook of her neck, while she pats your back softly.

You shouldn’t have anything to cry about.

You have loving parents. You have the greatest friend anyone could ask for - someone that understands you and doesn’t judge you. You have good grades; apparently a great career waits for you in the future.

But all of those things that should bring you comfort feels like nothing compared to the hole that just opened in your chest.

Because he pushed you away.

And yes, he told you his reasons. He might even be right - his young appearance shouldn’t fool you; that is a man that lived too much, that knows too much. A “vampire”, as Sumin called him. Hell, maybe you should be suspicious of him, maybe you shouldn’t be so blindly in love… maybe Professor Park is right, you are emotionally dependent on this man you don’t even know that well.

But you can’t bring yourself to be rational. This isn’t a matter you think about using logic.

All you can do is feel hopeless and lonely and empty because Taehyung pushed you away - and you weren’t even there physically.

You lean away from Chaeyoung slightly, sniffing and wiping your hands over your face. She still keeps you close and pushes some strands of hair back.

“I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.” You confess in a weak voice. “Will I ever be really happy, Chae? I-I don’t know how much more I can take.”

Chaeyoung’s eyes fill with tears at your words.

She pulls you in again, hugging your body tighter this time, until your tears finally dry out.

You don’t fail to notice that Chaeyoung didn’t reply - because she, too, doesn’t have an answer to your question.

Neither of you know if you’ll ever find real happiness in your lifetime.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us, Y/N?” Chaeyoung asks with the same worry in her eyes that didn’t disappear the whole time you spent with her. “There won’t be that many people. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

You shake your head, standing in front of the dorm building. The night is so chilly that you feel your cheeks burn every time the breeze touches your skin; small clouds of steam form in front of your faces every time you speak. “I’m not in the mood for drinking tonight.” Chaeyoung tilts her head, eyebrows lifted in concern. “Don’t look at me like that, Chae. I’m fine. Way better now, thanks to you.”

This makes her smile a little. As promised, after classes, Chaeyoung dragged you to the mall to buy some new clothes - and she tried her best to cheer you up, drifting your attention to the silly things she knows you both like, instead of letting you think too much. She’s right in being worried - alone, no one will be able to make you think less than you should. But you’re tired, and having to engage in more social activities is draining just to think about. Besides, with the way you’re feeling, you’ll just bring everyone’s mood down.

“Okay, then… I have to go.” Chaeyoung says hesitantly.

“‘Kay. Text me when you get there.” You say.

Chaeyoung pulls you into another hug, spreading warmth and comfort through your body. “I love you. You know that, right?”

You giggle quietly. “Love you, too.”

Finally, Chaeyoung lets you go, waving a goodbye before walking down the street. You keep watching until she disappears on the corner.

For some moments, you still stand there, alone on the sidewalk, looking at the sky. It’s so cold, yet there’s not a cloud in sight; only beautiful darkness, the full moon reigning absolute, adorned by the stars around her. It somehow brings you peace.

That is - until you look down again and notice the thing standing close to the entrance of the building. You gasp, startled, and the bag you're holding almost falls.

It's a white wooden doll. It's just standing there. Its head is way bigger than the tiny body, its arms are glued to the torso; the head has two big holes as eyes, and a smaller hole representing the mouth. You approach it with careful steps. The thing tilts its head from side to side, and every time it tilts, it emits a ticking noise.

You could've thought it's just a regular doll, some project from the art major weirdos, but the eerie aura exhaling from it tells you everything you need to know: it's a servant.

You feel tempted to talk to it, see if it's as intelligent as Uzros, but then you notice voices and steps behind you.

You quietly watch as two girls get closer. They don't seem to notice you and, as expected, don't see the white doll. The thing starts ticking its head more frenetically as they approach the building. You feel shivers.

As they're about to cross the doors to the entrance hall, the doll's hollow eyes glow in a strange hue of blue.

They enter without problems. The servant stops ticking its head, the glow vanishing from its eyes, and becomes quiet again.

You still stand there for a while, watching the servant.

That shiver you felt as it ticked its head at the girls… it was a similar feeling as when Sumin stared at you in an intense way, at the cafe. She was seeing through you, assessing you. You can't be sure of anything, but it seems that this servant's purpose is to guard this building, to assess if the people walking in mean any danger to you. It has probably been standing here for days… but only now you can see it.

"Right. Third eye or whatever…" you whisper under your breath.

Again, you feel tempted to ask the servant's name, but you stop yourself, remembering Sumin's warning. Maybe getting in touch with these things is what has been putting you in such a bad mood… Sumin said that demons affect people's auras. So you decide to just march in. The white doll ticks its head as you pass by it - but this time, it looks much more like a greeting nod.

Going out with Chaeyoung and having a normal evening made you forget for a few hours that you are, in fact, being watched by spiritual creatures all the time.

Then, you are inside of your peanut sized room. You drop the bag of clothes on the floor and take the coat off, not bothering to turn the light on. It used to be your comfort place. Now, it's just lonely and cold.

You denied going out, but you don’t know what to do right now, really.

You start by showering and putting on your favorite comfy hoodie. Carefully, you fold the few new clothes you bought and store them. The first episode of this new series everyone is talking about doesn’t catch your attention, nor the cookies you try to eat taste as good as they should. You also don’t feel like finishing that Ethics essay - it’s due next week anyway, you still have plenty of time. Then, you decide to browse for apartments in this area in your laptop (Gosh, why is everything so expensive?). You just know that you don’t want to fall asleep, given the possibility that you may have an awful nightmare again, or that you will unconsciously be pulled towards him again. You don’t want to see him for a while, not after what he did.

One apartment finally catches your attention. It’s considerably close to campus, not that big but given the rent price it looks pretty good. Large windows, a tiny balcony, the owner seems to reply fast to every comment so you decide to leave one; maybe you can book a visit next week and-

•

It’s quiet.

Peaceful.

You hear the wind howling, the sea crashing against the shore, seagulls singing in the distance.

The sky is gray and somber, however, the temperature is cozy. You keep laid on the grass, eyes glued above, watching the eventual sight of seagulls crossing the sky. The sounds of the ocean are constant and relaxing; the scent of salt water is familiar and somehow nostalgic.

Nostalgic… as if you know this place intimately.

Your consciousness slowly takes control of the situation. You’re getting used to this sensation.

You… you know this place, actually.

You turn your head and see some houses in the distance. Narrowing your sight, you notice that the hill ends on a cliff, and just after the cliff, there’s the shore.

You’ve been here before.

Except when you came here, these houses were old and rotting; now, they’re as good as new, painted in fresh colors, houses that look lived in. There was also a great and modern mansion on the cliff’s edge, facing the ocean. Now, the spot is empty.

The memory of what happened to you here should frighten you. Briefly, the image of that monster hovering over you crosses your mind. Yet… in this moment, this place - although eerie - also feels comforting.

So you decide to just lay here.

It takes a while until you notice him.

It only happens when you become fully, solidly lucid; when you become aware that you are, in fact, able to move freely. You’re not just a floating consciousness in this dream; you have a body, your body, and you can feel the cozy breeze hit your skin.

Only then, your eyes focus on Taehyung, laying by your side on the grass.

Just like you, he’s looking up at the sky; half hooded eyes in a peaceful and thoughtful expression. You take in his side profile - the perfect bridge of his nose, the soft plump of his lips, the way wind plays with his dark locks.

Then, he looks at you.

Electricity crosses all of your body.

“Are you awake now?” His voice is quiet, calm, deep.

You’re at a lack of words.

This… this is different from your previous encounters. In your other dreams, everything looked blurry and distant, difficult to grasp - as if you were trying to see through fog, and sounds came to you as if you were underwater. Now… everything seems way too clear. And Taehyung. Back then, he was there. Now, he is here. With you.

“What is going on?” You’re surprised that you’re able to speak now.

A small smile appears on his lips. It is enough to make you feel like melting.

“I came to talk.” He says in that same soft tone.

“Is this allowed?” You lower your voice, as if afraid anyone will hear you. “I thought we weren’t supposed to meet.”

“We have some sort of safety here.” He explains. “They can’t blame us for having a connection. Besides… we’re not meeting. Not exactly.”

Taehyung looks at you that same way - with care and tenderness, and it makes your insides warm.

“What do you want to talk about?” You ask.

Taehyung knits his eyebrows softly. His gaze is shadowed by worry.

“I’ve… come to know that you’ve been developing many abilities.” It seems that he’s choosing his words with care. “You opened the third eye.”

“Why does everyone talk about it as if it’s a big deal?”

“Because it is. Normal humans are unable to see the spiritual realm, unless they have witch blood, and you do not have such lineage.”

You shrug. “Maybe an ancestor of mine was a witch.”

“No. Your blood is purely human. I would’ve felt if it wasn’t.” He licks his lips - it’s a habit, apparently - and it diverges your attention for a second. “The point is… you’re shifting from your human nature. I didn’t think our connection would affect you this much.”

You avoid his gaze, staring at the sky again, as resentment slowly starts to fill your chest. “And it means that I can be punished because of it, right? Since I’m not just a clueless human anymore.” You look back at him for a brief moment, noticing his surprised and confused expression, before staring at the sky again. “Sumin already told me. What everyone seems to forget, though, is that I’m not doing anything on purpose.”

Taehyung goes silent for a few moments. You keep your eyes glued to the sky.

“The only person to blame here is me.” His voice is even quieter now. “I apologize.”

It’s like an arrow crossed your heart.

“It’s not your fault, either.” You say. Taehyung’s silence tells you that he doesn’t agree.

“I’m worried about you.” This sentence makes yet another wave of warmth to roam your body. You look at him again; his expression matches his words. “You also haven’t been eating well. You lost weight.”

This takes you by surprise.

“How do you know?” Taehyung is taken aback by your sudden dry tone.

“Uzros.”

You huff, feeling that resentment and a spark of anger grow. “So, you can know little things about my daily life. You can watch me through your dolls, but I’m not allowed to know anything about you, where you are or what you’re doing. Funny.”

“That’s not true, Y/N.” He’s quick to say, definitely surprised by your change in behavior. “My servants are placed around you to protect you, but it’s not the same as me watching you all the time. I’m not omnipresent.”

“Really? So how do you know that I lost weight?”

“If you interact with a servant, I can’t help but hear and see it. Our connection pulls me in.” You see a glimpse of that stern look Taehyung held at the meeting, a side of him you are very unfamiliar with. Taehyung is not used to being questioned or challenged. “But if it bothers you this much, I will do my best to stop seeing you for all. It’s what I should’ve done from the beginning.”

Shit. You feel the urge to cry, but do your best to hold the tears back, yet again staring at the sky and crossing your arms around your chest. You asked for such a reaction. But you’re not about to step back on your words. You’re stubborn and tired of being kept from the answers you deserve. “It’s not like you’re struggling to keep away from me anyway.”

“Don’t say that.”

His voice hardens suddenly - and it’s your turn to be taken aback.

Taehyung props himself up on one elbow, facing you seriously - and a single look at his face is enough to make you regret what you just said. He’s visibly hurt in ways you fail to understand.

“I, in fact, avoid watching you through my servants the best way I can. Because I know that if I take a single glance, it’ll be enough for me to forget why I’m doing this, and I’ll rush for you in a second. But I can’t just do that, Y/N, no matter how much being away from you hurts me more than any physical pain.”

Your vision gets blurry with tears.

“You don’t have to.” You whisper in a weak voice.

“Yes, I do, Y/N. I have to. You don’t understand the danger you face every day, just because you’re tied to me; and I hate myself, because I am the reason you’re put in such danger. I-If I could undo this string, if there was a way to make you have someone normal as your pair so you could live a normal and safe life, I would do it, even if it’d kill me.”

“No.”

Taehyung is taken by surprise when, finally, you prop yourself up and cross your arms around his neck, pulling him in a tight hug, swiftly sitting on his lap, your legs on each side of him. The touch feels so real, it’s almost as if you’re actually together.

“I don’t want anyone else,” you say, sobbing and desperate, face hidden in the crook of his neck. “I don’t care about the danger, I’d never want anyone but you. I’m sorry, Taehyung. I-I didn’t want to make you upset.”

Slowly, his arms embrace your body, and you feel him relaxing. “You don’t have to apologize.” His voice so close to your ear makes goosebumps crawl your skin. “You’re the one right in being upset here, not me.”

This is where your views differ. From the start, you’ve realized that none of you are at fault in this situation - it’s just completely out of control. Meanwhile, Taehyung decided to put all the blame over his own shoulders. He doesn’t understand that both of you are victims; both in their rights to be sad and angry, only unfortunate souls in this great chess game Destiny is playing.

He keeps you close like this until your tears dry out and your sobs stop, gently caressing your back. God, you don’t want to wake up ever again. Taehyung places a chaste kiss just above your earlobe, but this innocent act on his part sparks a fire inside of you.

You lean away just so you can hold his face with both hands.

Taehyung looks back at you with an intensity that makes you feel weak, makes you forget for a moment that this is just a dream and not reality. You brush a strand of hair out of his face with your fingertips; you watch as Taehyung closes his eyes briefly with the tenderness of your touch, lips parted slightly.

Then you’re kissing him.

You’re kissing him and you’re desperate. You tilt your head, tongues entangling, starving. Taehyung’s arms cage you even closer to his own body, so close that your chests touch. One of your hands travels to grip Taehyung’s hair - it’s so soft and it feels physical and real - earning a soft grunt from the back of his throat; it only adds more fuel to your already burning state.

You want him.

You need him.

It’s such a visceral, primordial feeling, that you completely forget this is only happening in the realm of dreams. Your whole body is begging for it.

Acting almost in instinct, you buck your hips - your clothed core pressing against his own. This makes Taehyung grunt yet again; his hands come to rest on your hips, while you keep working your mouth on his relentlessly.

“Y/N-” he tries to say in between the kiss, but then you’re bucking your hips again and again - and in this moment, you find out that Taehyung is not just an ethereal creature that seems to be always in control. No; he is very much carnal - way more than you can possibly imagine.

Finally, he manages to break the kiss by holding your face with both hands, yet still keeping his face centimeters away from yours. “Y/N, t-this is enough.”

But he’s panting just like you, his eyes are hooded with want just like yours, and you also find out how much power you hold over this man.

Taehyung doesn’t make much effort to stop you from humping on him, despite his words. The delicious friction is starting to cloud your own thoughts.

“I need you.” Your breathy voice seems to darken Taehyung’s eyes even more. You’ve never been this bold before - but you’ve never wanted anyone as much as you want him, either. You kiss him again, and again, and again, leaving Taehyung even more breathless with every kiss, at the same time your hips keep moving at a slow pace. “I need you, Taehyung…”

He closes his eyes for a moment, placing one of his hands on your hip again. “Baby, don’t do this to me…” Baby. His voice is low and husky, pleading. If he doesn’t want you to stop, speaking in that voice and calling you “baby” was a very poor attempt in doing so. “I don’t know how much more I can take…”

You look at him seriously - eyebrows knitted in a desperate, begging expression.

“Then don’t take it.” You whisper - and you’ve never been this sincere in your life. “Be weak, Taehyung. Be with me.”

He doesn’t respond.

His eyes just scan your face, lips parted; some strands of hair fall in front of his eyes again - eyes that have darkened in a way you have yet to see, with a type of feeling you have yet to experience.

You’re about to seal your lips again.

But then- everything breaks.

•

You wake up in a jump.

For a few seconds, you’re stuck in that state when your brain can’t comprehend what’s real and what isn’t. Where did Taehyung go? What happened-?

This is not an open field. It’s your dorm room.

It’s dark, the only light source coming from the moon outside peeking through the curtain. Your laptop lays open on the bed, its screen blackened. Since when do you fall asleep so fast like that?

You sit slowly, feeling your limbs trembling, still astounded.

What even was that dream?

You gulp, massaging your own neck, as if you can still feel Taehyung’s warm hands over you. It’s a chilly night, even inside your room, so the thin sweat on your forehead doesn’t make much sense, nor the dryness on your throat. Still feeling a little disoriented, you take the half full Coke bottle laying beside your bed and drink it in big gulps.

After closing the laptop and putting it aside, you rest your back against the wall and bring your knees closer to your chest.

Did Taehyung push you away again? Is that why you woke up so suddenly? He said that he avoids seeing you at all costs… maybe you pushed him a little too far.

As stupid as it is, you feel the urge to cry all over again, but you swallow your own tears. This is the closest you’ll ever be to Taehyung; in a mere dream. Nothing like a glorious and physical reality would feel like.

You gulp yet again, squeezing your thighs, just remembering how good it felt to be on Taehyung. His large, warm hands on your hips. His addicting taste.

Your panties are wet.

Fuck.

You’ll have to take care of this yourself.

After all the traumatic events you’ve experienced recently, it seems that your libido has dried out. You haven’t touched yourself in days.

You’re tight and desperate.

Desperate for Taehyung, but he’s not here right now. Probably will never be.

You close your eyes, letting your senses take complete control of your body. Images keep running in your head - his hooded eyes, the way he licks his lips, his deep and husky voice so quiet and so close to your ear. Your fingers tentatively lay over your panties, feeling the warmth emanating from it. You start to add pressure, moving your fingers in circular movements on your clit, and immediate waves of heat and pleasure roam your body.

Shit. You didn’t want to be doing this by yourself. You even feel slightly embarrassed, but you can’t help it. You know the right way to achieve the quick release you need, so you start moving your fingers faster, while your breathing gets heavier and your other hand travels under your hoodie to massage your breast.

You never got off thinking of someone specific like this. You never desired to be touched by a certain someone. Chaeyoung kept saying over and over again that you should let yourself loose and enjoy college life, that anyone would want to hook up with you if you wanted, but this idea never excited you in any way - not even when she dragged you once to a party and you ended up making out with a random guy, but it didn’t go any further than that.

With Taehyung, though? You’re aching for him. Every atom in your body screams for him. You want him to come and own you; your cunt is tighter and craving and desperate to be filled by him, and your skin is desperate to be touched and kissed by him, and your mouth is watering to taste him again. It’s like you’ve always known that Taehyung was out there somewhere, and that’s why you didn’t let anyone else explore your body; because deep down you knew he would someday come to claim you.

But he’s not here.

You bite your bottom lip, trying to muffle the quiet moans. You buck your hips according to the movement of your hand, getting faster and faster, finally slipping under the panties; your fingers immediately get wet and slick with your juices as you massage your clit with ease.

He’s not here. Those aren’t his fingers.

You think of grabbing his smooth hair, you think of peppering kisses on his perfect jawline, you imagine his large hands and veiny arms grabbing you, you wonder how he really sounds when he’s aroused. What you experienced in the dream realm is simply not enough. It wasn’t real touch, real pleasure. You need him desperately, but he’s not here.

You move faster and faster, feeling closer to the edge, while your other hand grabs the sheet under you, trying to ease the tension. Your toes curl, your legs shake; a quiet moan escapes your lips, your heartbeat races.

Every action has a consequence.

You think of him. Him, him, him. Only him. Your person. Your other half. Taehyung.

Every action has a consequence.

Waves of pleasure roam your system. You gasp, choking on your own voice, mind clouded by desire. Him, him and him.

Every action has a consequence.

Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung Taehyung-

Every action has a consequence.

Right before you reach your high - your fingers stop moving at once.

Your body freezes.

Suddenly, all of your senses are alert and you immediately remove your hand from your intimacy, staring at the door with widened eyes, being yanked out of your delirious state.

You shiver.

There’s… there’s a presence out there in the hallway. You know it.

You also know who it is, but your slow human perception doesn’t get it at first.

Slowly, hesitantly - expectantly, you get up from bed, feeling your bare feet freeze against the cool floor. Your legs feel weak and your body still shakes, but you walk towards the door. Your clean hand holds the doorknob as you feel your heart thundering inside your ribcage.

This… this can’t be.

You open the door.

Is the action worth the consequence?

It’s him.

In person.

Taehyung towers over you. He wears black dress pants and a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, three buttons opened, bare foot. His eyes are hooded and his eyebrows are knitted in desire and something much, much darker, much more intense, much more raw than anything you’ve ever seen.

Next thing you know is that the door is being closed shut, you have time to notice the sound of the door lock, before your body is pushed against the nearest wall and Taehyung is kissing you.

You gasp in surprise, feeling every nerve in your system react to his restless touch over your body. One of his hands grabs you by the waist, sticking your body to his, while his knee takes place between your legs, parting them. The other hand comes to grab the hair at the back of your head to keep it in place, entangling his tongue with yours restlessly. Your hand comes to rest on the back of his neck for support.

You’re overwhelmed by his delicious smell and his touch and his mouth and oh my God he is real, he is here, this is happening.

And when he finally breaks the kiss, you see how swollen and reddish his lips are, and how crazy his eyes look, and how the dark locks fall over his eyes making him look mysterious - and this alone could make you come.

“T-Taehyung-” You stutter, trying to form a coherent sentence, but your train of thought derails as he starts kissing your neck, the grip on your hair forcing you to tilt your head and give him easy access. Taehyung has been acting so poised and in control of himself up until now; you didn’t expect him to be so eager like this, so much that you’re almost taken aback. His wet, warm tongue on your neck makes you unconsciously let a quiet moan escape; Taehyung presses your body against his even harder at the sound.

“You provoked me,” he growls in your ear, causing yet more goosebumps on you. “You just made me insane, Y/N.” He kisses you on the lips again briefly; his breath fans on your face and he looks at you in a way that single handedly makes your arousal increase like fire on hay. “I am going… against everything I promised not to do. I can’t fight you.”

Your knees feel like jelly; your face burns. You whimper in surprise as Taehyung’s large hand grips your ass shamelessly. You almost grab his shirt with your other hand, but then you remember that it still is wet with your own arousal and suddenly you’re embarrassed and afraid that he’ll notice - but you don’t have enough time to think because he’s kissing you again, and the hand that previously held your hair now holds your neck, and you whimper yet again.

Your lips part and he leans away slightly.

“You won, Y/N.” He says in an almost whisper - a husky voice shadowed by lust and pure passion. “I will make you mine tonight.”

This single sentence is almost enough to make your legs lose all of their strength.

You don’t know what to say - you don’t even know if you’re supposed to say something; you just nod weakly, expectant. This is what you’ve been craving. You want this.

Then you see Taehyung’s lips turn upwards in a devilish smirk, and you feel your face get even hotter.

“But you were almost getting all done by yourself, right? Didn’t even wait for me. So selfish.”

Your eyes widen.

“W-What?”

Taehyung tilts his head to the side slowly. There’s something else in his gaze now - a dark playfulness, mischievous. “No need to pretend, baby. I know.”

He grabs your wrist and slowly brings your hand up. Your heartbeat races, feeling incredibly embarrassed right now, as he analyzes your wet fingers, the smirk never disappearing from his lips.

“Were you thinking of me, Y/N?” Fuck. Why he’s got to fake that surprised tone like that? You begin to lower your head sheepishly, but the hand that holds your neck goes a few centimeters up to hold your chin, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Answer me.”

“Y-Yes,” you manage to blurt out weakly. You close your other hand in a tight fist, gaining courage to confess what he must know anyway before this continues. “I-I was thinking of you.” He pecks the corner of your mouth seductively, humming in approval. “O-Only you.” It’s hard to try and talk when his knee is making pressure against your core, sending waves of pleasure through your body. “Hmm… only you… n-no one else… before.”

This makes him stop his actions and lean away to look at you.

Embarrassment makes your face and neck burn, makes your shoulders smaller. What if he backs away because of this? What if he gives up and goes home? No- just no. You try to look down again, as if facing his reaction will be way too overwhelming - but once more, Taehyung stops you from doing so, holding your chin up.

He analyzes your face carefully.

Something changed.

There’s still indomitable lust in his eyes, yes. But… at the same time, it is now mixed with the fondness you’ve grown used to, a little bit of surprise, and… endearment?

“Do you want this, Y/N?” He asks quietly. “Right here and right now?”

You nod vehemently.

“Yes.” You whisper. “Y-Yes. Please, Taehyung…”

He’s kissing you again, before you can even finish the sentence. It’s slower this time; more sensual. “Don’t beg, Y/N.” Although he’s using his velvety tone, there’s something very authoritarian in the way he says this… it’s an order. He runs his nose on your neck slowly, the hand that previously held it taking place on your waist; you shiver at his warm breath, taking your scent in. “You have no idea… how much I’ve been wanting this.” He says as he lets a trail of wet kisses on your neck. “How much I’ve been dreaming of this…” He nips at your skin lightly, earning a soft whimper from you. “I want to destroy you so bad, Y/N. So bad.” His lips have traveled all the way up to your face again, and he bites your bottom lip before kissing you eagerly again. “But it’s your first time, love, so I’ll be gentle. Just don’t beg, or it’ll be harder for me to control myself. Understood?”

All you can do is nod in response.

The mischievous smirk is there again.

Then - he does something that takes you completely off guard.

He’s still firmly holding your wet hand. Without breaking intense eye contact, he pulls your hand and-

And licks your fingers.

You gasp as he puts your fingers inside his mouth, sucking them one by one - and it causes a reaction down there, for you feel your slit getting even wetter at the single sight and your breathing shuddering.

“You taste good, baby.” He says, his smirk only getting wider at your shocked reaction. Before you can think straight, he’s kissing you again, and you feel your own taste in his tongue - it’s sweet - but you don’t have time to contemplate too much on it, not when this man is doing the things he’s doing. You notice that he’s letting a light chuckle within the kiss, making you shudder. “My baby was right here, all alone, touching herself and thinking of me… What exactly were you thinking of, hm?”

“I-I already said. Just you.” You say sheepishly.

“What was I doing in your little fantasy, love?”

You gulp. It’s so hard to answer his questions because his gaze makes you feel shy in ways you can’t control, but at the same time, the tone of his voice and the things he says only increases your arousal, only makes you feel hotter. “You were touching me.”

“Touching you where?”

Your face gets hotter. “Taehyung-”

“Touching you where?” He repeats. “If you don’t tell me, I won’t know what to do, love.”

He knows damn well where. You inhale sharply. “Down there.”

“Ooh.” That fake surprised tone. He’s enjoying this way too much. He enjoys seeing you flustered like this, completely under his control.

Slowly, his right hand travels from your waist to your lower stomach. Slowly… very slowly. He caresses your inner thigh, then finally, he puts his fingers over your damp panties, barely making any pressure.

“You mean here?” Your lungs fail for a moment as your sensitive nerves feel his light touch. You nod. Taehyung chuckles again. “You’re already so wet, love. You were having a lot of fun without me, huh?”

He starts moving his fingers over your clit.

Taehyung watches intently as your face distorts in pleasure - eyebrows knitted, lips parted, half lidded eyes. He moves his fingers painfully slowly - much slower than you’d usually move, yet it is enough to send waves of pleasure through your body. He makes circular movements on your clit, holding back from adding the pressure you much need just yet.

“You were already so close to cumming. Do you think I can make you cum on my fingers, Y/N?” You don’t reply. Shit, you’re not used to this. He’s shameless in the things he says, and though it just gets you wetter, you still don’t know how to react to this.

A soft gasp leaves your lips when, with his other hand, Taehyung grabs your leg and hooks it around his own hip, keeping a strong grip on it. Both of your hands come to rest on his shoulders for support. He watches you with hawk eyes as, finally, his hand slips under your panties to touch your intimacy freely; his cold fingers against your warm cunt causes you to gasp lightly again.

You’ve been trying to muffle your moans, but it’s getting harder and harder as his fingers work on your clit with ease - slowly adding more pressure and moving faster. Taehyung watches as your breathing gets heavier and heavier, the movement of your chest. Once again, he bites your lower lip lightly, then pecks it. “You’re so sensitive, love.” You feel as his hand travels a little lower, tentatively circling around your dripping entrance. You bite your bottom lip and hold your breath in anticipation. Taehyung chuckles lightly and comes closer to whisper in your ear:

"Don't be shy around me. I want to hear you."

His middle finger penetrates you.

You whimper, gripping the clothing of his shirt, your nerves reacting to this new sensation. He penetrates slowly, while his thumb keeps pressing on your clit in circling movements. "Hmm… you're already so tight," he keeps talking low in your ear, making even more goosebumps roam your skin. His other hand caresses your thigh, as it still is hooked around his waist, giving him better access to your cunt. He kisses your temple tenderly. "How does it feel, baby?"

"G-Good," you manage to stutter somehow - it's getting hard to breathe. Taehyung kisses your temple again, humming in approval, as he starts putting his finger in and out of your pussy - slowly at first, but then he increases his pace, as his thumb still works on your clit relentlessly. Your grip the fabric of his shirt even tighter, trying to ease the tension somehow. The dorm room is now filled with your soft moans and the squelching sounds Taehyung's hand produces; you start to feel something wet dripping down your inner thigh.

When another finger is introduced into your cunt, you moan louder than before; suddenly feeling self aware, you hide your face on his chest, once again biting your bottom lip. Taehyung chuckles. "I already said I want to hear you."

"B-But they w-will hear me too," you blurt out, knowing damn well that those walls are way too thin.

"They won't. Just trust me." You don't understand how they won't, but it's impossible to think too much of what he said, not when his hand is working on your pussy like that. His fingers come knuckle deep inside of you, reaching places you never tried to on your own. His digits hit a spot you didn't know existed, and this single action makes a wave of pleasure wash over you, letting out a moan you couldn't hold back.

Taehyung catches on to this reaction quickly. "Here, love?" He hits the same specific spot again.

You nod frantically. "Y-Yes. Right there."

A familiar heat builds up in your lower stomach as Taehyung keeps hitting your g-spot over and over again, keeping the exact same pace, his thumb playing with your clit at the same rate; you squeak and whimper and moan, feeling your legs lose strength, the heat spread all throughout your body, your walls tighten around Taehyung's fingers.

"Oh my God- Taehyung, I'm gonna-" you manage to whimper somehow, feeling the fire building up and spreading, holding the back of his neck instinctively. He groans at the sound of your moaning voice calling his name, mercilessly working on your pussy; his other hand grabs your thigh even tighter, as he can feel you won't be able to stand alone for much longer.

"Don't hold back, love." His lips are once again on your neck, and he's licking and nibbling lightly on your skin, and his fingers are deep inside of you and his thumb is working wonders on your clit and your arousal drips from your inner thigh and your fingers are shaking and- and-

When the orgasm hits, you throw your head back and tighten your eyes, crying out in pure pleasure; every piece of your body is trembling, and for a moment, your lungs forget how to work. Taehyung holds you tightly in place as you convulse on him, and he finally leans back a little to watch your reaction.

You’ve never felt such a strong orgasm like that before; touching yourself was never this satisfying. And Taehyung did that with his hand only.

As you calm down from your high, breathing heavily and still astounded, Taehyung takes his fingers out of your pussy. He does it slowly, but it still aches a little at the emptiness. Without any effort, he makes you hook the other leg around his waist, taking you off the ground, and walks to your bed.

He lays you down with care, hovering over you for a moment; he brushes some hair out of your face before kissing you sweetly.

Without parting your lips, his hand comes to lighten up the bedside lamp. This pulls you back into reality again; you could see pretty well before, the room was well lit by the full moon… but, of course, it was still dark enough for you to not be so embarrassed. You've never been so exposed in front of anyone like this - and you're not sure if you're ready for this gorgeous man to see it.

"Can we… can we keep it dark?" You ask shyly, still panting, and try to reach for the light switch - but Taehyung holds your wrist before you can.

"No." He says sternly.

You feel frozen for a moment.

Taehyung brings your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles slowly. His eyes are serious, hooded with lust; it's enough to make your face get warm. Overwhelming, but far from uncomfortable. He looks at you as if he's hungry and you're his much awaited meal - and, at the same time, he looks at you with adoration.

"I want to see you," he says between the kisses, "and I want you to see me, too."

He leans down to seal your lips again in a sensual, slow kiss; you grip his hair, making him grunt against your lips.

"I want to know every little piece of your body." He licks your neck, making you sigh. Sudden nervousness hits you as he holds the hem of your hoodie with one hand. "I want to know everything about you…"

He stops for a moment, only to look at you again, the other hand caressing your cheek.

"And I don't want you to be embarrassed of me, Y/N." His voice has softened. "You are, literally, everything I waited for… everything I've dreamed of… for my whole existence." It might feel inappropriate, but what he says makes you feel the urge to cry again - not in sadness this time. "We've waited long enough for this. I want you to remember this night clearly."

Your breathing shudders. You look back at him - his beautiful features, lusted eyes, half parted and slightly swollen lips, long eyelashes; and you realize he is right. He doesn't make you uncomfortable. More than that - you're part of each other. There's nothing to be embarrassed of.

So, you nod, without uttering a word.

Taehyung smiles again. He leans down once more to plant a kiss on your lips…

And slowly, starts to strip you.

You're not wearing anything but your panties and this hoodie. He makes you lift your arms, giving him access to take the hoodie off; the piece of clothing is thrown on the floor carelessly. His eyes are glued on your naked torso, making your skin feel burning hot. You've never been this exposed in front of anyone. Your heartbeat races, nervousness runs all through you.

Taehyung's eyes are hungry.

"You're beautiful." He whispers, breathing heavily, and this alone is enough to send heat to your intimacy all over again. "Beautiful. Beautiful..."

He leans down again to leave a kiss on your cheek; you whimper quietly as you feel his hand traveling from your lower stomach to cup one of your breasts, squeezing it with care. He peppers kisses from your neck to your collarbones; his hot breathing over your skin sends goosebumps through your system, and you instinctively grab his soft hair. You let out a quiet moan when Taehyung mouths one of your hardened nipples, sucking on it softly; his tongue swirls around it. All the while, his other hand travels down to caress your thigh, eventually going a few centimeters up to squeeze your ass, making you whimper again. Taehyung chuckles darkly against your skin.

"You're really, really sensitive." He remarks again, looking up at you for a moment before lowering himself again to leave a trail of kisses down your stomach. He nibbles on your skin softly, making yet another quiet whimper leave his lips, and you feel your face get warm again at his mischievous grin.

But what makes your face get even warmer and your inner temperature increase is the sight of Taehyung propped on his elbows on your lower half, hovering over your cunt, as he stares at your dripping wet panties.

He licks his lips and, finally, his fingers pull the hem of your panties. He takes it off of you and makes you keep your legs parted, placing both hands on your inner thighs. You gulp, feeling yet again another wave of nervousness hit you with the way Taehyung looks at your slit. You can see the gloss of your own juices from here; you've never been so wet.

"How sensitive are you really, love?" You grab the sheets under you, as if preparing yourself, when Taehyung puts his hand over your pussy, delicately parting your lips with his index and pointer finger. "Do you think you can still take it?"

Taehyung blows softly on your cunt, making you shiver. He watches your reaction intently. You gasp, gripping the sheets tighter, when Taehyung leaves a kiss on your clit. He stops for a moment, watching you, then kisses again; you hiss when, finally, he licks it, but still keeping it light, not putting too much pressure.

"How does it feel, hm? Bad?" Fuck - his voice is deep and husky and suggestive and you feel wetter, if that's even possible. He's well aware that you just had an orgasm. Maybe, the high sensitivity won't let you keep going. You never really tried to have more than one orgasm whenever you masturbated - when you reached your first high, it seemed enough, so you'd just stop there. You can't really tell if you're that sensitive yet. Well - it's time to find out.

You shake your head. "No. J-Just keep it s-slow," you don't even know if you're making sense with your words. His touch is not uncomfortable, but if you want this to feel good, it has to be slow, so you can build up your arousal again.

Taehyung nods and you hiss again, toes curling, when he flicks his tongue on your clit. "Good. I need you relaxed and I need you wet, so you can take me."

He does as you told - works his mouth on your cunt slowly, never breaking eye contact, visibly satisfied that you seem less and less able to muffle your moans and hisses of pleasure. He wraps his mouth on your clit, swirls his tongue around it, sending shockwaves of pure pleasure all throughout your body, making your insides feel hot like burning lava. Taehyung watches every expression you make with fascination. When you feel brave enough to look back at him, it only further increases your arousal - not only what he's actually doing pushes you closer to the edge; it's the wet noises his mouth produces, it's the sight of his head between your legs, the wetness on his lips, the way his dark hair falls over his eyes. Everything about this arouses you.

Taehyung realizes you're ready when, unconsciously, you start to buck your hips on his face, and your cunt tightens around nothing.

Then, he stops - and you whimper in disapproval.

Taehyung chuckles darkly at this reaction. You watch in awe as he sits on his knees, analyzing your body for a few seconds, before he starts to unbuckle his belt - and this sight alone makes your mouth water. The way his long fingers and veiny hands work on the belt so easily is enough to make your pussy throb, begging to be filled.

Though your legs are shaking and you don't have much control over your own fingers, you somehow manage to sit up and reach for the collar of his shirt; Taehyung quirks one eyebrow, surprised. This time, you do not avoid his gaze: "I want to touch you, too."

He smirks. Yes, you want to touch him. You don't want to be the only naked person here. So, with clumsy and hurried fingers, you start to unbutton his shirt - and it's your turn to be amazed at his muscular body, the perfect curve of his collarbones. Before you can even finish unbuttoning the last button, Taehyung has already taken the shirt off and thrown it on the floor in a rather aggressive - sexy - motion; for a single moment, he lets slip how truly impatient he is. Then, his hand is on your neck and he's kissing you deeply and passionately. Once again, you feel your own taste on his tongue, even stronger now, but you don't have time to bother.

His breathing is heavy. He stares deep into your eyes for some moments; he holds your chin delicately, passing his thumb over your bottom lip in a slow, sensual movement.

"I could come just with the way you're looking at me right now," he confesses in that same low husky voice. "Never wanted someone so bad in my life, baby."

You close your eyes for a moment, leaning on his touch. Maybe lust is taking control of your actions, for you're not very conscious of the things slipping from your lips anymore. "I'm already yours, Taehyung… always have been. Come take me."

You hear his breathing shudder at your last sentence. Taehyung puts his hand on your chest and delicately pushes you back on the mattress again. You analyze his flawless face, his glorious torso, then- fuck, you finally realize that his hardened member was freed from his pants, and you have to control yourself not to gasp. It's big and it's thick and it's veiny and now you understand what Taehyung meant by wondering if you could take it.

Taehyung hovers over you again, elbows on each side of your face, and makes you hook your legs around him in a comfortable position, kissing you sweetly for a moment. You feel his hardened member over your cunt.

"Relax for me, okay?" He whispers. You just nod, nervousness and excitement bubbling on your lower stomach.

Both of you look down as Taehyung takes his cock in his hand. He presses it on your folds, immediately getting it wet; you moan softly when he caresses your clit with the tip, and this time, he also lets a quiet moan. Finally, Taehyung positions his member in your entrance.

Your eyes widen, your breathing fails, your toes curl, as Taehyung finally pushes in.

He does it slowly, letting a deep grunt that resonates on your bones. Out of instinct, you grab his shoulders and close your eyes shut, completely astounded by this new sensation. His fingers were one thing; his cock is something completely different. It stretches your insides in ways you didn't know were possible. He doesn't put everything inside just yet; with his inhuman self control, he still watches your reaction, searching for any signs of pain.

"Are you okay?" He asks. You notice how his voice sounds unstable now, and you open your eyes to focus on him. He breathes heavily, his eyes are even darker now, half parted lips in an expression of pleasure that makes your insides twirl.

You nod. "Y-Yes."

Taehyung nods in response. He bites his bottom lip, closing his eyes for a moment, and starts to shallow fuck you - very, very slowly. At every thrust, he puts more and more in, stretching your cunt even deeper, making tears appear in the corners of your eyes. Fuck - he’s so big that it feels like he’s tearing you apart. He lets a deep grunt, eyes closed, one of his hands gripping the pillow under your head.

"So tight, baby…" He says in a shaky, quiet voice. "So… fucking… tight…"

Maybe it's his expression of pure pleasure that makes this situation feel pleasurable for you, too. As he eases more of himself in with careful and controlled thrusts, the uncomfortable ache in your cunt eases more and more. You feel yourself moaning quietly at each thrust of his, your hands slipping from his shoulders to grip his back, your breathing getting heavier. Taehyung hides his face on your shoulder, each grunt of his echoing in your skin and sending waves of arousal to your already stimulated core.

"T-Taehyung…" you call in a breathy voice that almost drives him crazy. "Faster. Please…"

You gasp when you feel him biting your shoulder, before propping himself up to look at you again. "I told you not to beg, Y/N."

However, he does exactly as you told him: Taehyung starts to thrust in and out faster and stronger. You whimper, feeling as if the air was knocked out of your lungs, when he finally sinks as deep as possible, balls deep in, his pelvis shocks against yours. He comes out, and in this brief moment you see just how wet his cock is with your own juices, before slamming himself in again, causing your breath to fail once more. You throw your head back in pure pleasure, moaning.

“You’re taking me so well, baby.” Taehyung compliments in his panting voice, which causes goosebumps to roam your body. He stares down at the spot where your bodies connect for a moment before leaning away from you; he sits on his knees and grabs your hips on a strong grip, at the same time you unhook your legs from around his waist, almost instinctively spreading them as much as possible. This position is more comfortable for him to pick a faster pace - and the moment he does, it’s like your vision gets blurred by stars. Your moans and whimpers grow more constant as he keeps working relentlessly. Taehyung groans and hisses and curses under his breath.

You prop yourself up on your elbows, fisting the fabric of the sheets, eyes glued on him. He’s marvelous. A thin layer of sweat makes some strands of hair glue to the skin of his forehead. He has the tip of his tongue between his teeth, eyebrows knitted in a focused expression as he watches his dick come in and out of you, the veins of his arms more apparent due to the strong grip on your hips. Now, you’re thankful that the light is on, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to witness Taehyung in all his naked glory. Even the way his now disheveled hair bounces at each thrust of his mesmerizes you.

Finally, Taehyung looks back at you - and in the moment your eyes meet, it’s visible that he loses a little bit of his self control, as if the sight of you causes him the same effect. He pants with his mouth open and tilts his head to the side in an expression that almost looks like pain. “Fuck… you’re perfect, baby… perfect…”

You gulp, unconsciously throwing your head back again as you feel the familiar pressure increase in your lower stomach, spreading down your legs. “Taehyung…” You probably wanted to say something relevant, but all that comes out of your lips is his name in an obscene moan. You have time to see his smirk as he hears this.

“You’re about to cum again, hm?” He can feel your walls tightening around him. The pressure is getting unsustainable.

Instead of saying anything, you just reach for the back of his neck, pulling him down to connect your lips. It’s sloppy and wet and desperate. Taehyung lays over you again, gripping your thighs and hooking them once more around his waist, before sustaining the weight of his body on his arms again; you grip his biceps and he just stares at your whimpering figure, plummeting his cock mercilessly into you over and over and over again, pushing you closer to the edge. You do not have control of anything coming out of your mouth anymore.

Taehyung hooks both of his arms around your shoulders and you grip his back for dear life. Every nerve in your body goes haywire; it’s like you can’t even see anymore. All you can do is close your eyes shut, overwhelmed by his cock deep inside of you, by his intoxicating scent, by the noises of skin hitting skin and the squelching sounds of your arousal around him. You feel his face close to yours, his deep moans and his strong grip on you. It’s like, for a second, Taehyung becomes the center of your Universe, your gravitational axis - all that exists is him, his cock inside of you. And in this moment that nothing else seems to exist, you come again around him, feeling your back unconsciously arch and your toes curl and your whole body shake in pure, unadulterated bliss.

Taehyung doesn’t stop, however, now desperately chasing after his own high. You’re still panting and recovering; it’s like your body has been overcharged, but you can’t care to complain, because your sight has focused again and all you can see is Taehyung’s face of pleasure, the way he bites his bottom lip, the veins popping on his neck, the constant noises of pleasure he produces. With weak fingers, you grip onto his hair on the back of his head and once again force him to kiss you, which he eagerly reciprocates without slowing his steady pace.

“T-Taehyung…” you let out in a strangled voice - and this alone is enough to overcharge him as well. The tightness became too much for him. He stutters your name in a way that makes you feel weak.

“I-I’m cumming inside,” he manages to pant somehow in a warning tone, but you’re not in the right state of mind to even process what this means. You just nod, watching him intently, hypnotized by his expression. You can see how close he is. He hides his face in the crook of your neck, his hot breath on your skin makes you shiver. A few more hard thrusts in - “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”, he moans. Then, you feel his dick buried deep inside of you twitching as he blows his load inside of you; his warm cum fills you in.

Both of you are panting. Taehyung keeps his cock inside as you recover your heavy breathings. He looks at you again, delicately pushing some strands of hair out of your face. Both of you are sweaty and shaking and feverish and overwhelmed.

Taehyung kisses you once, twice, three times; he peppers kisses on your cheeks and forehead. You hold his face with both hands, forcing him to lock gazes with you again.

It’s stupid that tears are already dripping down your temples.

“Please, don’t leave me again. Please.” You beg in a quiet voice, letting out a sob. “I-I don’t think I can take it…”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m not leaving, love.” He says in a reassuring voice and pecks your lips. “I’m not leaving you alone again.” Another kiss. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry… But I won’t leave this time. I promise.”

You nod, feeling your chin tremble as more tears come and the indomitable joy exploding within your chest. Taehyung hugs you tightly, still humming apologies and peppering kisses. You don’t know if it’s the fading arousal that still clouds your senses, making it impossible to think rationally, but here and now, in your tiny dorm room, hooked in each other’s arms, everything feels right and in place. It’s like every year and month and week and day of your life just existed for the sole purpose of leading you to this moment: with him. Taehyung. Your pair.

So, you stay embraced in each other for longer than your tired brain can register. Acting like nothing else exists or matters, because at this moment, it really doesn’t. Pretending for these short moments that your actions won’t lead to anything.

But they will - for every action has a consequence.

And the consequences of your actions tonight are already lurking just around the corner, waiting for their moment to bring their unholy punishment over you.

#kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #ksmutclub #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #taehyung scenario #taehyung imagine #taehyung fanfic #bts x reader #bts scenario #bts fanfic #bts imagine #bts smut #kim taehyung

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theniceandaccurategoodomensblog · 9 months

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Who was angel Crowley?

There’s a few theories floating around about exactly who angel Crowley was, as well as theories that he too experienced some kind of memory wipe during the Fall. Here is my take at the moment—

In terms of who Crowley was, I’m favouring that he was the second in command to the Supreme Archangel (who was Lucifer; now Satan). In humanity’s mind it has gotten mixed up— Lucifer and his second in command have been blended into one. We already know that humanity has blended the two angels/demons to some extent because Crowley was the Serpent. So this would be an extension of that. This would mean that Crowley likely never had a name that we would recognise. We won’t know his angel name just as we don’t know “Crowley”.

The reason I’m favouring that specific former angelic position for Crowley is:

That’s what Aziraphale (with the Metatron’s prompting) offers to Crowley. I know it doesn’t have to be the literal same position but it is so much neater, so much more poignant, so much more tempting for Aziraphale if it is. It is Aziraphale fully restoring him to his rightful place! How could Aziraphale resist that?

He’d still have been very high up indeed but Satan would be the former Prince of Heaven. This fits better I think with what we know of their relationship. Crowley is clearly terrified of Satan. I know Satan is in a position of authority over him now, but if he always was that gives this more weight and backstory to Crowley’s fear. Plus, angels/demons seem to be both organised into an authority hierarchy which is changeable and to vary in natural power which is not (as Crowley is still so powerful). It seems like the hierarchy of authority and the level of natural power were once one and the same. But after the Fall, they are not. Crowley doesn’t show the kind of fear towards Beelezebub that he shows to Satan even though they outrank him. In contrast, he initially assumes that Satan showing up simply means they “are fucked”. Is it because Satan is more powerful than him? If so, it suggests that Satan had a higher rank than Crowley in pre-Fall Heaven.

If Crowley was second in command to Lucifer and humanity has blended the two in our myths then his “it’s Lucifer and the guys” comment in season one makes complete sense without any stretching at all. It is still the case that the questioning angel piece that humanity associates with Lucifer was Crowley just as the serpent was Crowley. Lucifer then is the power-hungry, humanity-hating Lucifer.

And then- consider this—Lucifer/Satan could well have agreed to the terms of the Fall. If his aim was power this makes sense. He makes a move for ultimate power, falls a bit short but takes the offer of power over Hell as a substitute. If the creation of Hell was a deal, this explains the back channels. It explains the cooperation. Lucifer wanted power. He got power over Hell. And Heaven got an opportunity to rid itself of troublesome angels including Crowley. Real wars have ended like this. Real wars often end with everyone signing a treaty and walking away with the best deal they can broker. It is also consistent with the multiple references to 1984, which I won’t go into now but can be found here.

What does that mean for Crowley and the memory wipe? Well, that makes complete sense! Lucifer knew how troublesome Crowley would continue to be, even in Hell. So he asked for Crowley’s memory to be wiped and he sent him up to Earth as soon as possible. He figured Crowley would be less trouble to him there, away from the power structures of Hell. Plus, what Lucifer/Satan does respect in his second in command is his imagination and on Earth this could be put to good use for Hell. It’s all very neat and logical.

Have Aziraphale and Crowley actually talked about any of this? Does Aziraphale know Crowley’s memory was wiped? I doubt it. Does Crowley know that Aziraphale actually met him pre-Fall? I doubt that too. I think Crowley has remembered/worked out his former position and so when Aziraphale references the angel he was he knows Aziraphale would have known of him. But I don’t think it occurs to him that they had an entire interaction (or that Aziraphale was already crushing on him). Just another reason they are out of sync.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens meta #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 meta #good omens season two #angel Crowley #my meta

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burning--heart · 4 months

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The Grinning Man is Not a Horror Show

this post brought to you by: my own personal experience trying to show this musical to people (which i have already talked about briefly) and also this post by castledock:

the mainstream media’s perception of LHQR is almost always “well I haven’t watched or read it but this guy looks scary so it must be a very disturbing and scary book/movie” and every time I go outside of my little circle of LHQR Appreciators it’s like being slapped in the face by Ableism

i’m spinning this off into my own post because the essay got Long and also it’s definitely about tgm and not lhqr. strap in y’all.

like, ok. you see the pictures online. the protagonist has a bloody bandage on his face, the lighting is moody, and the puppets are creepy i guess (but they are so charming once you see them in motion)…

i’ll be focusing on flesh-and-blood adult grinpayne and his face. does it cause him a lot of grief? yes. is it central to the show? absolutely. but are you meant to be scared or disturbed by it? no. if you were, then yeah. this would be a horror show, and a bitingly ableist one at that. but it’s not.

there is one single moment where we are made to see grinpayne’s face as horrifying, and even then it's... well. it’s not about his smile being grotesque. not really.

it happens when his frustration at being kept as a spectacle because of his face reaches a tipping point. he bites back. "i'm the stuff of your nightmares," he says, "i am the freak show! watch me smile!" it's not an empowering moment. he is gutting himself for his audience.

He removes his bandages and reveals his jaw - a huge nightmarish bloody grin. Horribly unhealed. Red. Raw. Glistening. It's there, and then it's gone. “Laughter" riff crashes in and the world tilts.

Above is the stage direction from the script. Note that the “Laughter” motif is identified by name.

We can see how this was executed onstage in Bristol: The reveal is accompanied by sickly green strobe light, Louis Maskell as Grinpayne snaps his head to the side, there's a brief blackout, we are jumpscared by a giant grinpayne puppet head in the same green strobe, blackout again, then it’s on to the characters' reactions.

It sounds horror on paper. it looks very horror in Bristol. and yet the characters react as though they've just seen heaven. what's up with that?

here lies one of the biggest challenges the grinning man has: its empathetic theme gets easily muddied by the reactions the other characters have to grinpayne. generally, when experiencing a story, we look to the characters within it for cues on how we should feel about its topics, and they guide us through it. this is especially true of media aimed at children. the grinning man is... not like that. the royals and the people of the fair see his face and they are instantly enlightened! with sudden clarity, you're him, and he is you!

the audience doesn’t get it.

but i don't think we're supposed to.

Song lyrics like ‘you realise that you are him and he is you’ explain to us Grinpayne’s effect on his audiences, but we are never shown that experience nor are we invited to feel that experience ourselves. (Brendan Macdonald, Exeunt)

this reviewer was close, very close, but has jumped to conclusions and ended up shutting the door on the idea that makes the musical make sense. its true that we are told how the other characters see grinpayne, and we don't get to experience that for ourselves. but the thing is, while we are told one thing, we are actually being shown something entirely different.

characters in his audience look at grinpayne and we are told they have an earth-shattering revelation. we hear them explain it multiple times. despite this, their reaction is not what we feel. this is the part that's unintuitive.

here’s where we circle back to the face reveal. the dramatic imagery clashes with what the fictional audience is seeing and feeling. this is because we, the non-fictional audience, are not supposed to be putting ourselves in their shoes at all. the character we’re anchored to is grinpayne. and to him, this is not a triumph of self-discovery. the horror isn’t in his appearance, it’s in how people treat him because of it.

and when it comes to the characters’ revelations, it’s not really about grinpayne anyway. it’s about themselves and what they project onto him, whatever that is. grinpayne is a symbol to almost everyone, whether they see him as a gruesome face, a lord, or a god. they don't understand him when they look at his face.

the audience of the grinning man, unlike the characters within it, are provided the opportunity to connect with grinpayne on a deeper level. we get to dive into his head like nobody else. this is why “Labyrinth” is a big deal (this is also why them changing over half the lyrics to this song at the transfer is a big deal). this is why dea’s love for him is a big deal: she sees him for who he is, and has from the start.

we also get to see the “real” grinpayne (and even love him for who he is), but unlike the characters’ sudden (and shallow) enlightenment, our understanding of grinpayne is gradual, but truer because of it. it builds slowly and perhaps unnoticed throughout the show until you’re fully immersed; it’s something that you feel, not think. though, if i had to pick a moment, personally, it would be “when they are gazing at my grin / what is it that they see within?” from “Labyrinth” because that line knocks me on my ass to this day.

and. surprise! this deeper understanding is also why i think this show is a musical and not a straight play. nothing has the emotional capacity that music does. we aren’t just told the way grinpayne feels; his songs allow us to feel with him in a way that spoken word never could. that’s how we connect.

at the end of the day, this guy still has a bloody face. and some people are going to see this and assume that tgm is horror. but hopefully if they watched it they’d change their minds, because the grinning man shows us the most (and only truly) disturbing thing about grinpayne’s injury is the cruelty and misunderstanding he faces at the hands of a miserable world where “laughter is the best medicine.” and “I Am the Freak Show” may contain the moment with the strongest “horror” visuals in the show, at least in the original production, but it’s actually a crucial example of why tgm itself is not a horror show itself.

#the grinning man #grinpayne #burning thoughts #this is over 1k words btw #thanks for reading if you made it this far #also i specify bristol in this post not to differentiate it from london but to differentiate it from the script #aka everything brought onstage that is not present in the text. this is not a version differences post #also i didn’t want to mention it in the post since i don’t feel like digging for the source and it’s not super relevant to my point #but louis maskell Has said that “i am the freak show” is the most difficult and emotionally taxing part of the show for him to perform.#and no fucking wonder honestly. have you seen this guy’s energy during this number? it’s unbelievable.#peace and love. hope i made sense. goodnight <3

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heyclickadee · 1 year

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I actually really like this moment for Omega.

Because let’s put aside the fact that Crosshair has his own whole thing going on here for just a moment. Yes, he’s angry and hurting and lashing out and wants this kid to just leave him alone so he can get back to sulking and having suspicious headaches (tm), and if you’re only viewing this from a Crosshair-sympathetic, “what about the chip?” standpoint, Omega shooting back like this can seem kind of cold, uncharacteristically obtuse, or even like the writers are using Omega to tell us that Crosshair’s just a bad person end of story. But I never really took that this way.

Look at this from Omega’s perspective. She’s thought of the guys in the batch as her brothers for most of her life, and she may have heard stories about them time and again, but she never really met them until that day in the hallway in Aftermath. I have to imagine that she sort of built up her expectations for what they’d be like and what actually getting to meet them would be like in her head. And, for the most part, meeting them goes really well. Okay, yeah, Hunter does try to brush her aside at first, but he kind of makes it clear that it’s only because he doesn’t want her in any danger or getting into trouble. Once they get past that, though, Hunter, Echo, Tech, and Wrecker take to having a new baby sister like a duck takes to water. She’s one of them, and they make sure she knows that.

Aaaaaand then there’s Crosshair. He’s snide. He’s mean. He makes it clear in that scene in the brig (before she sits down to tell him that what he’s going to do isn’t his fault) that he’s not that happy about her being there. And then later on in that same episode, he tries to kill them. He shoots Wrecker. But hey! She knows order 66 has just happened, she’s assuming his chip has just activated, and that he’s not normally like this.

And then every time she sees him after that, he’s shooting at her and the rest of her brothers, or telling his men to aim for her specifically, or giving the orders to fry them all alive in an engine, or shooting at them again. He takes Hunter prisoner. He does his absolute best to make it sound like the chip never mattered in the first place. That he had it removed before order 66 even happened, because he’s vague enough about the timing that it’s plausible from the character’s perspectives. That he chose to leave the team for the empire, that he decided to try to kill them multiple times, that he willingly gave the order to burn them all alive inside that engine.

And then! Despite all of that, Omega is nothing but kind. She gives Crosshair, someone who from her perspective has willingly tried to kill her more than once, every benefit of the doubt. When Tipoca City drowns, she saves his life, and doesn’t get angry when he doesn’t thank her. He’s meaner than ever and Omega’s still able to see through it enough to understand that he’s extremely not okay. So when he goes over to be alone after arguing with Hunter about the empire, she goes over to try to talk to him. She even shared some really personal information with him:

She’s trying so hard to build up some camaraderie and make Crosshair feel like he’s not alone, or like he doesn’t have to be. And, again, from Omega’s perspective, this is a guy who’s tried to kill her and the rest of her brothers more than once, who never once thanked her for saving his life, who’s done nothing but snipe at everyone the whole time, and who’s not been shy about insinuating that he doesn’t really want Omega around. Omega would be well within her rights to just leave Crosshair to stew, but she doesn’t. She’s still being kind and still trying to get through to him. Crosshair’s response? To throw her kindness right back in her face. To cut right across a tender spot in her heart and say that she doesn’t belong with them, and that she never will.

To be completely clear, this isn’t an anti Crosshair post or anything like that. I love Crosshair, I’m looking forward to his inevitable redemption/recovery arc, and I’d also make the argument that pretty much everything Crosshair says to and about his siblings in “Kamino Lost” is projection and that he’s really saying it about himself, BUT. Still. Back to Omega’s point of view; what Crosshair says in response to her opening up about why she wanted to find them is a cruel thing to say. So. Good for her for immediately shutting it down and letting him know that she’s not just going to put up with him being an ass. Good for her for coming to realize that sometimes the people you love and the you want to look up to can let you down. Good on her for getting that he’s not who she expected him to be, that she doesn’t have to make excuses for him, and that she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, whether he has an excuse or not. And maybe her response isn’t the best thing to say and maybe it is Omega losing her temper a bit, but good! Good on the writers for letting a little girl character lose her temper a bit. Let her be angry.

But anyway, that’s sort of how I always took that moment where Omega tells Crosshair that she was wrong for thinking it was the chip the whole time; that she’s hit the limit and she’s not going to put up with it anymore, that she’s sort of taking him at his word about the chip, and that she’s probably talking less about him sticking with the empire and more about him acting like a complete asshole, and I like that.

(And another thing I like? Crosshair seems to get the message. I might be remembering wrong, but he doesn’t actually get on her case about anything after this.)

#the bad batch #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #also let me tell you #if they parallel That Scene from Aftermath and Kamino Lost #again in season two #but switch the roles #so it’s Omega who’s hurting and trying to be alone #and Crosshair picking up the big brother role #and going over to comfort her #I will die #I will become deceased #I will be an ex-Clickadee #I love them both #sorry this is so rambly

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tetrakys · 7 months

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this was never in the history of forever ever gonna happen and i understand why it didn't and why it won't but i would've died 1000 deaths for a male mc in mcl. not even just in new gen, i would've loved to be gay asf in hsl, ul and ll too:') this isn't like a critique or anything but a guy can dream right😂😂?

lol anyway, just wondering if maybe you have any recs for otome with male/gn mc? or if not if you know someone who might? mcl is the only one I've ever gotten really into so i don't know about any other games like it 🙃

I'm sorry, friend. I really wish you and everyone were able to play the game as you wish and wouldn't have to "adapt" to what is available. Unfortunately some features like a male MC or multiple f/f routes are too expensive for a small company like Beemoov.

Tbh I haven't seen many otome games with a male MC around, otome by definition have female protagonists. There are lots of BL games around though (BL = boys love) where the MC is gender locked as male and all the crushes are male. I've never played one so I can't recommend any but if you look for BL games I'm sure you're going to find a ton!

Other than BL/yaoi games, there are games with no visuals of the MC so you can assume they are whatever gender you prefer (oten they let you choose pronouns). Generally these games have no illustrations or they do but only show the crushes alone without the MC. A few names I can think of are Arcana, Obey Me, Touchstarved (only the demo is out at the moment), When The Night Comes and other games from the same company (iirc there was some drama around it but I'm not informed). Again, take a look around because there are many! I think these games are generally referred to as Amare games, because they have the same formula of otome games but aren't strictly aimed at a female audience.

The only otome game with visuals I can think of which attempted to have both female and male MC and also multiple routes (5 male and 5 female) is Sweet Elite. However, I would say that it failed in this attempt, because in 12 episodes of the first season, there is only one episode with 1-1 illustrations with the crushes, then there is one episode where there are illustrations of the crushes alone, and everything else is group illustrations, max 2 or 3 per episode. (To me it ended up feeling more like a friendship game than a romance game.)

So, clearly, it's even more proof that when games have a big visual component and also offer customisation, it's basically impossible to have two genders MC. Unless it's a huge company producing them, but I'm not even sure that's the case because Is It Love? games for example were produced by Ubisoft and they didn't even offer look customisation, let alone gender customisation.

Another suggestion I can give you, is to check out mobile apps such as Chapters, Choices and Episodes. These aren't exactly otome games, but more similar to romance books translated as games. They have huge libraries and several titles are either gender locked yaoi or you can pick your own gender. You can even customise the looks of the MC and the crushes, but of course there are no CGs.

Oh, and one last thing that comes to mind, another option for you could be to check out dating app simulation games, basically fake tinder apps, they have lots of crushes each one with their own story, you can choose pronouns but your avatar will never appear in game or in CGs. A few names I remember are MeChat, Love Link, Love Verse, but I'm sure there are more. The stories can be quite entertaining so I suggest you check them out. (I remember MeChat had both a Lysander and a Castiel lookalikes).

So really, there are SO MANY games around that there's no need to stick to one where we have to adapt to game features we don't like. Ultimately MCL's main target audience are straight, cis women (with a very small offering of f/f routes) and I wouldn't stick to it if I weren't one. I remember when I started playing 11 years ago and I was looking for more games in a language I could understand and I could find very little, now instead there's so much competition that there's something for literally everyone.

Good luck with your search, let me know if you find anything you like! 💕

#game rec #otome games #amare games #my candy love #mcl #if anyone has more recommendations please help the anon out!

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