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#or my ex-bf tried to teach me
angelltheninth · 1 year
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Hello! Can I request a jinx, Ekko, vi and Caitlyn separate of a readers ex gf or bf coming around and trying to get back with them and how they react to it? Thank you!
Oof, an ex can really mess things up, or at least make shit awkward even at the best of times.
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Ekko, Caitlyn x Reader
Tags: fluff, slight angst, established relationship, hurt/comfort, kissing, jealousy, feelings of insecurity, PDA, showing off
A/N: Trying to write some more Arcane content cause I've been stuck creatively with it for a while ugh.
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Jinx wouldn't take it very well, someone trying to come between you two now that your relationship is just getting started. She doesn't want to think that you'd leave her but she believed that before about others too.
Noticing that you have no intention of that but that its your ex who is being the pushy one here she goes into her scary, protective mode. She doesn't kill your ex, not right now at least, but she'd not above some very well illustrated threats and maybe a few little bombs thrown in their direction.
"Don't let me see ya talkin' ta sugar here ever again. Ya had your chance and you blew it. They're with me now, ain't no way I'm letting ya have them now that you've come crawling back. Come on sugar, I'm taking ya somewhere more fun, where this loser won't disturb us."
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Vi isn't afraid to break a few bones for you, or be the cause of broken bones for you. Your ex has nothing on her, everyone knows that. But... call her a little evil, she has something better in mind then just walking up and decking your ex in the face.
Kissing you right in plain view. That hurts more then any punch she could throw, letting your ex know how good you're having it with her. Looking over there before spinning you around and pulling you into her lap is all part of her showing off, well that and flexing as she spins you around and drags you past your ex, flipping them the bird while you have that goofy, happy smile on your face.
"That's your ex huh sweet stuff? Man, did your taste improve when you met me. Raised your standards sky high I bet. They were good to you right? Need me to go back in there and teach them a few lessons? Oh, well... I'm actually a little disappointed. I always wanted to be the cool girlfriend who kicks the ex's butt."
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Ekko is protective over you, like he is of everyone from the Firelights. Of course he knew one of the Firelights was your ex so there was no getting away from the awkwardness of the situation even if he tried to.
He starts walking around holding hands, kissing your cheek and whispering in your ear, a sort of passive aggressive show of your relationship to everyone else. He won't be hostile to his teammates but he needs to let your ex know that he no intention of just letting them walk into your relationship.
"They still following you around Firefly? I know its sort of inevitable, just wanna make sure you're doin' okay. Sweet that you think I'm being cute but I'm actually trying to be intimidating here. Not working is it? Should I bring out the mask? No cause you can't kiss me when I have it on? Not funny."
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Caitlyn is more used to seeing her exes and hiding away. She doesn't have many but they're usually somewhere at her parents parties. Getting to play the jealous, overprotective girlfriend is new for her. Doesn't need to try very hard, her sharp looks do wonders.
Or horrors in the case of your ex. She keeps a protective hand on the small of your back for the rest of the night and makes sure to cast one last glance at your ex, smirking at them, looking very smug when you leaned to kiss her cheek.
"We should get going now darling, there's only so much angry staring I can do when you look so ravishing at my side. Do you think I sent the message loud and clear? I suppose I could have done more but... well I think I caused enough scenes at events in the past. Thank you for that kiss, I think that was the final nail on the coffin for them."
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tinyidle · 6 months
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seongsang -- hotteok -- they're basically begging me to make a drabble atp (references at the very end)
reuploaded because i forgot tags 💔
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your ex teaching your current bf how to please you (based on this ↑ live when seonghwa was 'teaching' yeosang how to flirt) nfsw; fingering; exhibitionism; fem reader
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you liked seonghwa, but he ultimately wasn't for you. yeosang, however, you loved. the only problem was that, unlike your ex lover, yeosang didn't know exactly how to please you. he was the best at understanding you, respecting you, and being the one you can count on. all of these were what you and seonghwa had lacked after two months of being together-- but five months in, you and yeosang were still strong. romantically, everything was perfect.
your sex life, however; that's how your ex came in.
"come on, yeosang, curl your fingers down. you can spin balls and pens but not your girl? tsk," seonghwa tantalized as yeosang was doing his best to push his slim, lengthy fingers in and out of you. he had the softest hands you've ever felt, but for some reason he was uncoordinated with them when it came to your cunt.
your boyfriend panted as he tried not to be too affected by your ex's words, looking up at your face to see any reaction from you, and you returned the favor by furrowing your brows to how deep he was going. however, you didn't feel your spot being pressed at all.
after five months of bland and rather unsatisfying sex (yeosang's words as he saw how you looked; not yours), your boyfriend called his friend-- who had happened to be your previous boyfriend-- and begged to show him how to please you properly.
after some reluctance, seonghwa finally nodded and scheduled a date for the three of you. now here you guys are: your ex egging your boyfriend to fuck you good while you were basically their toy to play with.
yeosang groaned as seonghwa held his hand, angling it a different way to reach you better. "like this, she loves when you reach her this way." he was right, as you squeezed your eyes shut upon feeling yeosang hit your g-spot deeply. it felt even better than your times with seonghwa, something you thought would never happen.
your boyfriend was mesmerized as he saw you contort your face into a shape he's never seen before. leaning down to lick your clit a few times, he went back up to ask seonghwa something. "had she ever made this face with you, hyung?"
seonghwa only chuckled as he watched you come undone on yeosang's fingers, shivering from the shattering orgasm. "yes and no. yes because she's made beautiful faces when she was close, but no because she made that face especially because of you."
"fuck," yeosang replied in a whispered tone, continuing to massage your spot as you grinded down on his hand. "i cant to see how many faces she'll be making tonight."
references for my inspiration for this small fic-y thing: the 'hotteok' live , yeosang just spinning things , and a recent yeosang fic @/riboism made that has been lost in time 💔
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danikamariewrites · 5 months
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Hohoho dark elain x reader
Dark Elain hc
A/n: omg she’d be so sexy. Here’s Halloween fic 2 enjoy 😊
Warnings: poison, dark themes, kidnapping
Shes definitely gives witchy vibes
She is obsessed with keeping you to herself
You and Elain first met at Feyre’s studio
That’s when she knew she had to have you for herself. When Feyre told her you had a boyfriend that meant nothing to her
She decided to move to the House of Wind so that when she brought you up you couldn’t leave
When you were home alone one night while your bf was out drinking with his friends Elain made her move
Taking you from that wretched apartment and up to a life of luxury
When you woke up you had no idea where you were. You panicked slightly until you saw Elain in the corner of the room…folding your clothes?
“Elain? What’s going on?” You ask still groggy from your unusually deep sleep
“Nothing my sweet lily.” She coos making her way to the bed. “You’re here now, you’re safe with me.”
Part of you knew it was wrong but her presence was so warm and she smelled wonderful. Like all the sweet scents of a garden mixed together
You just nodded at her as she drew you into a warm embrace
Her darkness is what drew you too her
Your light is what drew Elain to you, you balanced her out and she thought
Elain has a soft spot for you, all she wants to do is protect you but she will never hide the horrors of the world from you
She wants you to know the dangers that are out there and wants you to be able to defend yourself
Elain’s garden I’d full of beautiful but dangerous flowers
Flowers like deadly nightshade, wolfs bane, foxglove, oleander, and rosary pea
You love picking them with her
As the two of you sit in the lush grass shed pull you onto her lap and teach you about what each flower does and what the poison is good for
Kills anyone who tries to hurt you or bothers you
When your ex-boyfriend mysteriously died you had a feeling Elain did it. You complained about him a lot and she could never forgive what he put you through
You just smiled at each other and let it go
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pluralcultureis · 4 months
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plural culture is ableist ex bf
this is a doozy but welcome to my love life! content warning for ableism and suicide mention. might send in more of these later? and i have screenshots to prove all of it, lmfao.
context: the host told him several alters were co-fronting with them, and this was his response.
him: i felt like i was making real progress on your DID but it seems to be progressing again ((he was convinced he could 'fix' us))
host: it goes in waves i guess. sometimes they're active, sometimes they're not.
him: if they're at front that means they have no consideration for your mental health and it's only going to piss me off. if they respect your well being then they should leave you alone, they have no business butting in
host: that's. kind of the opposite. of what's happening.
[protector who's been around for years switches in]
him: to me it sounds like they're walking all over you, but you know yourself better than i do
protector: then it seems you don't know this system very well
him: the (deadname) i know doesn't want to be one 🥺
protector: the host you know wouldn't be here if it wasn't for us so maybe try to treat us like normal people and not a plague, thanks
him: maybe it's because (he) doesn't know how to handle it (him)self
protector: yeah which is why we fucking exist in the first place
him: show (him) how to then
protector: we've been trying
him: you say you're trying yet you wish to retain existence. if you tried them you would serve no purpose
protector who has bad mental health issues himself and has already attempted several times: SO BASICALLY I SHOULDN'T EXIST AND IT'S MY FAULT HOW SHITTY OUR HEALTH IS.
him: no you're implying that, not me. you're doing (deadname) no favors by continuing to act like a seperate person, instead you should use your time to teach (him) how to handle things by (him)self so (he) can stop relying on you
then we just ended the convo lmao.
Omfg that's horrible I'm so sorry y'all had to expirence that
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lyraeon · 1 year
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at 20 I thought I was faking my depression and was "bad at life" and lazy like my family said. I still earnestly believed I was entirely straight and everyone knew girls are just nicer to look at. I still had a ton of ingrained racism and other bigotry from my Bush-worshipping family. My main dream of being an astronaut had been smashed by my anxiety and health problems, so I was trying to study Japanese because like every other weeb I thought I'd fit in better over there (lol), but I'd already flunked out of one college and been forced to quit another to get a second job. I was overdrawn constantly and often buying gas station gift cards at the grocery store so I'd only take one overdraft fee. I was dating someone horribly controlling who eventually earned the title "evil ex", dialed up my eating disorder, and traumatized me out of writing for 2+ years. I had several roommates because we all considered having the funds to go to anime conventions more important than personal space (and because back then we already thought $600/month was expensive). I spent any other free time half asleep at a friend's house cuz there I could play games and watch Intent videos. Half my meals came free from work, the rest were hacked together from stuff that worked out to $1/serving or so. The power or internet got turned off at least twice a year from non-payment.
at 25 I thought I was too depressed to deserve burdening others with my presence or existence. that I was a burden and purposeful downer and nothing would ever get better. I was still dealing with a ton of internalized transphobia, racism, and other bigotry that I had been taught was Just The Truth and still occasionally fall into. I was massively straight edge against weed and anything else (threatened to call cops on close friends) while also being a half bottle of vodka a day alcoholic just to get my brain to shut up enough to let me write or sleep. I didn't know how to have fun without alcohol, if at all. I had lost my ability to draw when I severely injured my wrist while i had no insurance. I tried going back to school, first for architecture then teaching, and flunked/dropped out of both. I was losing jobs every 6~8 months from being chronically late and being sick constantly. I manged to lose one on my birthday and wound up having to make some other tough choices because of it. I had only just reached the point where being overdrawn was a rare thing and I wasn't buying single gallons of gas with tip money. food was still often just ramen but I no longer had days where I didn't know if I'd get to eat, though I was often dependent on my then-bf. I had multiple teeth rotting and couldn't afford any treatment besides getting them pulled, and often not until they'd become infected.
by 30 I was finally on antidepressants and in therapy. I was on the road to physical therapy for shoulder and wrist injuries that had happened years earlier. I was pretty happy in my relationship. I held down one job for almost 3 years straight after getting medicated, then turned around and flunked/dropped out of college for the 5th time (Physics this time) because I was too anxious to take public transit reliably and STILL couldn't do homework anywhere but in class, so most projects never got done. I'd stopped being able to write (and am still running from the possibility my meds Took That from me because it doesn't come back if I stop them). Food had become a different struggle - I no longer had time, physical health, or executive function to cook reliably so I was spending too much on take out and causing wild fluctuations in my weight. I was hiding my eating disorder from my partner and my friends. I had begrudgingly un-estranged myself from my family to support younger cousins as they came out as queer. I had developed a healthier relationship with alcohol. I had accepted that, outside of addiction, drugs are a bodily autonomy thing and stopped being an ass to people about them. I had finally learned some damn etiquette around things like not accidentally outing people. I started streaming and making videos - stuff I had dreamed of since first watching Dead Fantasy and Red vs Blue and Weeblstuff in high school but had thought impossible after I lost the ability to draw.
I'm currently 35. This year I am living on my own for the first time (aside from 5 failed months at 18). I got divorced - a complicated, regretful process that was ultimately for the best but I could and should have handled better (and sooner). I've been in physical therapy long enough that I'm able to use chopsticks properly again and am thinking of trying to relearn drawing. It's also meant I can do the dishes and wash my hair on my own again, most days, so I'm relearning how to cook consistently. I'm reading (listening to) books again. I'm on year 8 of antidepressants and currently working with my doctor to fine tune what I'm on (and finally have a system to take them consistently). I've been diagnosed with ADHD and figured out I might also be autistic, and a lot of things in my life make way more sense when viewed through that context. I have appointments to get evaluated for ADHD meds, autism, shoulder surgery/other "PT isn't enough" treatments, teeth implants, and new glasses. my clothes have been put away 3 of the last 5 times I did laundry and I've learned that if I only own one dishwasher worth of dishes, the sink can't pile up. I've fully embraced that I'm polyamorous, pansexual, and demiromantic, and that I can be cis while also being "gender agnostic" - none of it really matters or processes to me, but I get that it does to others so I respect it. I'm seeing someone who makes me feel like I can do anything, is inspiringly ambitious themself, and is equally polyam, meaning I might also be asking out a cute girl soon and don't know where board game nights with the nice throuple I met might go. I'm having to do odd jobs and accept help from my dad to make ends meet, but I'm arguably a full time content creator now - something I literally didn't even let myself dream about when I was younger because it felt impossible, but which is fully worth the complications and budget crunching because it's so accommodating to my disabilities and uses so many of my talents. I'm still depressed, but I have hope that ADHD treatment will help cut through the remainder. Most days I just have hope, period. And more days than not, I'm genuinely happy for at least a while.
You'll find yourself.
It might take a while. There will be detours, mistakes, pain, tough choices, and a lot of hard work. But there will also be unexpected joys and more possibilities than you ever imagined.
Someday, you'll find yourself.
And when you do, it will be worth the wait, I promise.
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not-really-a-writer · 2 years
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The Jacket
Summary: On a night out, your new boyfriend tries to show off in front of some clones from your unit. They teach him a lesson.
Captain Howzer x fem!reader (nothing actually happens but the beginnings of this pairing are there)
Warnings: 18+only, talk of sex acts, people talking about experience level with sex, alcohol use, jerk boyfriend, cheek kiss, gaslighting, relationship red flags. Beginnings of friends to lovers while still in a relationship so like angsty pseudocheating? Sorry I have talked about irl shitty exes before but my questionable taste in men from my younger years has led me to writing a lot of jerk bf stories. i'm rolling a lot of my fav tropes in this story as always bc i like to lmao ;) ~3k word count
You sit in the large U-shaped booth between your friend Captain Howzer and your boyfriend, Lars. Accompanying you are a few of Howzer's squad members, and many empty pitchers of beer. The night has been long, but it has felt good to get out and spend some time away from work to relax and chat.
Lars is a civilian guy assigned to your unit. You are both familiar with Howzer and the other clones because you work as Republic contractors assigned to post-liberation Ryloth to support the clone battalion under General Syndulla.
Some civilians are there as medical support, or analysts. You and your boyfriend both have specialized training in repairing and refurbishing the Republic issued equipment, thus, your presence was a necessary part of maintaining the battalion readiness this far away from the core worlds and supply lines.
You had spent plenty of time with Captain Howzer going over reports and equipment inventory from his troopers. Your friendship with him grew from your working relationship to the point where you considered yourselves genuine friends. He would often linger in your shop after you’d reviewed all there was to review, just to chat. You would meet up at mealtimes a few times a week when your schedules crossed. Lately, you had been joining Howzer and his squad for physical training. Though you couldn’t fully keep up with them, they let you join in where you could, and let you do your own thing when you couldn’t.
Howzer was a nice guy and you would be lying if you said you didn’t have a little crush on him. A harmless crush you would never act on. But a small part of you was curious to know if Howzer might have a little crush on you too…
Being one of the only females around the base, you heard that you had caught the interest of many civilians and clones alike. Though you weren't necessarily considered beautiful, you did possess that 'girl next door' kind of look that many guys were into. Of course, you weren't aware of this fact until after you established a relationship with your boyfriend, Lars.
You had only been with Lars for about 8 weeks. Meeting the day after you arrived on Ryloth, you got swept up into a romantic relationship with him before you could realize it. You hadn't planned to start an exclusive relationship right away, but he assured you that he was a good guy, a safe person, he wanted you, and somehow you found yourself committing to him despite your plans. You magically had so much in common and of course, you had a lot in common career-wise. Lars came onto you - hard - but you let him. He seemed so into you. And he seemed so interesting with all his crazy stories.
After the first couple of weeks of your whirlwind relationship, things seemed to be fizzling out. As you tried to get to know Lars better, you began to find out that he was a very superficial person. That depth you were searching for was missing, and being with him felt flat. When you were together, you felt empty. It seemed like he only enjoyed when you hung out together with other people, so he could be seen with you. Lars knew that other guys liked you, but you were in a relationship with him. So, he liked showing you off because showing off is what he enjoyed doing the most.
And tonight was no exception to that rule. Lars engages with Howzer’s troopers in conversation, while you and Howzer chat on the side. You have no interest in what Lars was talking about. But Howzer… he told you earlier that he had caught mischievous little Hera and her droid setting him up for a prank, but he decided to go on like he didn't notice. You stifle a giggle as Howzer continues his story. As you listen to him, Lars suddenly and very sloppily throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in for a poorly timed kiss. "So, let me tell you what Sarah liked...," Lars continues nonchalantly, turning back to the other troopers.
You roll your eyes as you pull yourself away from Lars, the alcohol in your system inhibiting your ability to conceal your annoyance at your boyfriend and whatever explicit information he might be sharing about his ex-girlfriend with the group. Howzer looks away and chuckles, scrunching up his face. He's not laughing at you, rather, he's laughing at how absurd your boyfriend is acting. His topic of conversation with the others is becoming more and more ironic as the night goes on.
You catch the remains of laughter on Howzer's face. "What are you laughing at?" you ask with exaggerated faux suspicion. Howzer shakes his head and motions toward Lars and the other troopers. "He's still trying to talk to them about women!"
You and Howzer continue to face each other, but fall silent and listen in. *Cringe* He's right. Lars is still trying to 'teach' the boys about sex. Earlier in the night, you tried to shut him up, thinking that the topic may embarrass some of the more inexperienced troopers. Besides, you were getting a little uncomfortable hearing him talk at length and in detail about his sexual experiences with his exes. But your efforts fail and Lars just started on his 'lecture' anyway, pulling up old photos of his 'hot' exes to show off.
Of course, he would love a chance to demonstrate his 'superiority' over these troopers. They were all very intelligent, attractive, and in prime shape physically. No doubt he felt threatened by them. He needed to really stretch it to one-up them on something. So apparently while drinking tonight, he decided he can brag about his sexual escapades to them - The one thing he thinks he knows more about than them.
Howzer had seen men like Lars before. A know-it-all who does everything he can to sound more important, smarter, or better than what he is. Everything is done to maintain an inflated self image. He knew that there seemed to be many of these men scattered throughout the galaxy and they were all the same. Though they had different faces, they were like clones of the same asshole that nobody asked for.
Part of you is embarrassed at Lars' behavior, but earlier in the night, Howzer told you not to worry. You are not responsible for his presumptuous attitude and anything he says. If he wants to make a fool of himself, that has nothing to do with you. And that made you feel better. You and Howzer make faces at each other as you listen in on the ridiculousness Lars spews from his mouth. Stars, Howzer’s face. He has no idea how charming he is.
The troopers with you tonight weren't completely naive about women and sex, though they didn't have as much experience due to the nature of their lives. "Wait, wait, wait," one of the troopers says to Lars, "so your ex actually liked it when you drew out the alphabet with your tongue?" The other troopers all look at each other with amused looks, shaking their heads. Lars sits back in the booth and crosses his arms across his chest. "Yeah. I'm telling ya. All women like that the most," he says with 100% confidence as if he is stating a cold scientific fact.
"I dunno about that," one of the other troopers pipes in, leaning in toward the table. "I always hear about that alphabet thing from guys but no woman I've ever met asks for it. Women I've been with like rhythmic movement and pressure," he says looking to the others. "Yeah, that's what I've noticed too," another trooper says.
Lars pounds back his beer. He looks around them and shakes his head. "I'm telling you guys. I've been around. You should try it out next time. All women like it the best," he assures them.
"I think it's best if you just ask the woman herself what she likes," one of the troopers says, and the others look at him and agree. "Yeah, we're literally clones and we all like different things. Can't say all women like something like that based on your ex," another trooper snickers, bringing the others to laugh along with him.
Lars did not appreciate being laughed at. No doubt it made him feel small in the midst of this group of troopers. "I'm not basing this on just my one ex. All my exes liked it the best. They all said I was amazing when I did it... She likes it the best. That's what she told me last night," he says, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you sideways inward for another ambush style kiss that you were definitely not expecting or wanting.
You feel your cheeks reach boiling point and tears of anger prick your eyes. It would be embarrassing under normal circumstances for your boyfriend to lay out your sexual preferences to your friends, but what he said was simply not true. Why would he say such a thing? You are unable to speak in your anger, embarrassment and confusion.
"Lars!" Howzer says sternly, in his unmistakable Captain's voice, causing the troopers to silence their laughing by instinct. "That's going too far, don't you think?" Howzer bores into Lars's eyes with his hardened stare.
"Relax, I was just giving her a kiss," Lars slurs with a dismissive wave toward him. Howzer relaxes slightly and glances around the booth at his men. A nonverbal exchange happens in that moment, then Howzer continues. "Listen, you don't talk about your girlfriend like she's not sitting here. If she wanted to tell us all that, then she'd tell us. It's not up to you to reveal private stuff like that. You don't tell her business about what she likes or doesn't like in bed just to show off or whatever."
Amazingly, Lars literally pretends that nothing happened, and starts talking about fingering his exes. Most disappointingly, he didn't even notice that he upset you. And this was unfortunately not something new or something you could blame on the alcohol. Recently, he started saying random hurtful remarks, but then pretended that he either didn't say it when you let him know it made you upset, or he would straight up not acknowledge that he made you upset or apologize for his behavior.
Howzer puts a friendly hand on your shoulder and looks at you with a kind expression. He has definitely noticed that you are upset. "Are you OK?" he asks. You wipe your face and look up at him desperately. "I…I think I'm ready to go," you whimper.
Howzer nods, and without a word, looks toward the other troopers at the booth. Again, a nonverbal communication happens between them and they realize exactly what needs to happen. They start to get up and toss down some credits on the table. You take out some credits to cover the rest of the pitchers, and start to slide out of the booth with Howzer. Turning back to Lars, you tug on his jacket sleeve to get him to follow you. Then, your group heads out of the bar and begins the long walk back from the town to the barracks area for the troopers and civilians.
Your group spreads out on the walk back. Of course, Lars makes no effort to walk beside you. He walks a few steps in front of you. A couple of clones walk in front of him, while two troopers place themselves on either side of him. You and Howzer walk together in the back of the group. "...And guys...you gotta really put time into foreplay. That's the most important part," Lars slurs loudly. Ironic that he would say that since he never really did put much effort into foreplay with you. Well, he put effort into receiving it, but not giving it back. In the initial weeks of your relationship, he was a very generous lover, but he quickly revealed his true colors as a lazy and selfish partner in bed.
"But, like don't spoil her either. Because.... because girls will want you to do it all the time," Lars babbles. One of the troopers in front looks backward at his brother behind him. "Oh is that right?," he decides to humor Lars, just so he can hear whatever ridiculous thing he says next. The trooper next to Lars shakes his head and whisper-shouts "Shhh!" but it's too late. Lars is already replying. "Yeah, she'll want you to finger her all the time. Or eat her out or whatever aaaalllll the time. So, here's what you do...,“ he says slyly, pausing for dramatic effect. ”You gotta do it good only sometimes. The rest of the time, you just gotta half ass it so they get bored before your wrist starts hurting," Lars says, completely serious. The trooper in front bursts out laughing, while the other three facepalm and shake their heads.
The desert air is cold at night and regrettably, you are underdressed for the walk home. You feel Howzer's warm hand touch lightly across your bare back as he gets your attention. "Is he this bad all the time?" he asks with concern. You let out a harsh laugh. You wish you could say no, it's just that he's pretty drunk right now and trying to show off, but you can't. He really is that bad, that disconnected from you all the time. Alcohol and competition with clone troopers aside. You decide to answer honestly. "Yeah," you say quietly, allowing the sadness inside you to show on your face. Howzer says nothing while he watches your expression. A cool night breeze puffs by and he pulls you in next to him by your waist to try to keep you warm.
In response to him pulling you in, you wrap one arm around him as well. Your hand finds a home where his torso narrows into his waist. Under your hand, you can’t help but notice the firmness of his muscles as they shift from his movement. You feel his body heat radiating through his black under armor shirt. It feels good. You want to press your whole body into his but you can’t stop walking. You’re so close, you can smell the alcohol on his breath and his musky masculine scent. You want to bury your face in his warm body and breathe him in, but you can't. Not here. Not now.
Ahead of you, you can hear Lars droning on about how good of a boyfriend he is. Again, the trooper in front turns around and asks sarcastically for Lars to tell everyone how he's such a great boyfriend. Unable or unwilling to detect the sarcasm in the clone's voice, Lars proceeds to talk about all the great things he did for ex girlfriends of his and how the troopers should listen up so they can learn how to treat a lady. The trooper in front starts laughing so hard, you think he might fall over. The others are starting to get annoyed at the joke now and want more than anything for Lars to just shut up. You let out a disgusted groan at your boyfriend's words while Howzer hugs you the best he can while walking to try to keep you warm from the cool desert air.
Howzer suddenly interrupts Lars mid-sentence to jeer at him. "So.. you're such a great boyfriend right?"
"Yeah," Lars says simply because he assumes he knows more about relationships and romance than all these troopers combined.
"You sure are, " Howzer mocks him. "Give her your jacket, " he orders, again in his stern Captain's voice. Lars strips his jacket off and hands it backward to you in a wad, while continuing to stumble forward. One of the troopers next to Lars holds his arm and helps to steady him. Howzer helps you put on the jacket, and you continue your walk back to the barracks as a group.
Though you are swaddled in Lars' jacket, Howzer still pulls you toward him, and you wrap your arm back around him too. Your hand finds the familiar place it was before, on his waist, just above his hip. A place you'd like to become more familiar with not just your hand...
Lars stays uncharacteristically silent the short remainder of the walk back. The troopers next to him help him toward his stateroom in the civilian dorms, while Howzer walks with you toward yours. "I'm sorry. I think I was being a little mean earlier," Howzer says with his head down, voice laced with regret. "I think when we're all sober tomorrow I'll apologize to him," he adds.
You nod silently. Lars had a habit of 'forgetting' hurtful or offending things he had said or done. You wondered if he would even apologize to you or anyone else for acting out tonight. You wondered why you were even with him at all.
"Thanks, Howzer," you say, turning to face him. You take a moment to observe his handsome face. His dark eyes are softly focused on yours, his features highlighted by the lighting on the nearby barracks structure. "Thank you for standing up for me, " you say. Howzer’s lips part but he closes them, offering you a small smile as he tips his head in acknowledgement. ”And thanks for the jacket,” you add with a smile, smoothing your hands down the front panels which hang open. You giggle looking up at him, thinking about how funny it was for you to be thanking him for the jacket which wasn’t his.
Howzer returns your smile, but looks over your expression carefully before responding. "You wanna know something funny?" he asks. You raise your eyebrow curiously at him, and wait for him to continue. "Well,... when you first got here, I wanted to talk to you. You know..." Howzer's voice trails off as he runs his hand over the back of his head, looking away and chuckling at himself. "But I thought 'no, she's outta my reach.'" Your cheeks heat up listening to his confession, and you bat your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile and shaking your head.
If only he had spoken up sooner. Of course, you had noticed him too, but you hadn't thought of pursuing anything further than your work relationship, and friendship. Especially not since you got entangled with Lars so quickly. But now you were starting to see more clearly what kind of partner Lars was turning out to be, and what kind of partner Howzer could be. You were definitely not out of his reach.
Howzer looks back at you with a soft expression you hadn't seen before. This hard soldier, a man of authority for his troops, never wore this kind of face in front of his men. "You deserve a nice guy." he says softly.
"I do have a nice guy already," you say, slowly stepping toward him, and pulling him into a hug. He says nothing, but reciprocates your hug by drawing you into his strong arms. While holding you, he rubs his hand up and down your back slowly, over Lars’ jacket. How you wished to feel his touch on your bare skin. How you wished to feel his skin, anywhere on your body.
Before you pull away, you decide to plant a tender kiss on his cheek. With your bodies still pressed together from your hug, you can feel rise and fall of his chest with every breath he takes. However, the moment your lips touch his face, just over the scar on his cheek, you can feel that he stops breathing.
Once you pull away and step back slightly, Howzer lets out the breath he was holding as a long soft sigh, and a little smirk lifts the corners of his lips. How you felt suddenly curious about feeling his lips on yours.
You exchange goodnights and plan to see each other later in the week when you have to catch up on inventory. Never had you been more excited to do mid-week inventory before.
Alone in your civilian dorm, you plan to make a decision on your relationship with Lars while completely sober, starting with a talk with him the next day.
Thinking back on the night, how ironic of Lars to try to 'teach' the troopers how to treat a lady when they already knew way more than him! Lars really exposed himself as a huge jerk, shaking away the remaining feelings you might have had toward him at the beginning of the night. Meanwhile, Howzer revealed himself to be a real sweetheart.
Lars thought he was teaching the clones a lesson on how to treat a woman, but he really should have sat down and taken notes. Howzer just taught a masterclass on the topic tonight. And you definitely took note of that.
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mockingspider · 11 months
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heathers songs explained by me
beautiful: high school fucking sucks but hey, main character got glow up
candy store: fan favorite/teaching main character how to be a bitch
fight for me: main character has crush
freeze your brain: main character crush has traumatic life and likes 7-11 and slushies
big fun: teens drinking
dead girl walking: dont get drunk kids/main character fucks crush
me inside of me: bitch died bc main character and her now bf killed her and pretended that bitch killed herself and now bitch more popular?
blue: these mfs are weird as hell
our love is god: more people dead? but they low-key deserved it? also good backing vocals????
my dead gay son: the dead mfs weren't really gay but they were and oh god their dads are gay for each other. only in Ohio
seventeen: aw, they kinda cute together. why must main character bf be such an asshole?
shine a light: school saying you can talk abt problems so therapy ig
lifeboat: one of the bitches is actually depressed and not a bitch
shine a light (reprise): actually nice bitch tries to kill herself bc her other bitch friend was being mean
kindergarten boyfriend: why is everyone trying to kill themselves?
yo girl: oh fuck, main character do something or else main character bf, now ex boyfriend (I believe) will do something stupid
meant to be yours: HE'S SEVENTEEN AND KNOWS HOW TO BUILD A BOMB???? also main character has done something but idk if that was smart bc there are still like...20 minutes left
dead girl walking (reprise): YES MAIN CHARACTER STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND STOP UR EX BF FROM DOING SOMETHING STUPID
i am damaged: fuck its too late
seventeen (reprise): friendships rebuild/pretend nothing happened
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rifki16 · 1 month
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What do I want and how can I know it
So, I just broke up with my boyfriend. I broke up with him because our relationship became more of a burden rather than a help, a safe haven, for the both of us.
When I told him that we were better off not as a couple, he asked me to explain what my thoughts were about our relationship, and I told him that, one of the biggest mistakes in our relationship was that I never really wanted to be in the relationship to begin with.
We were just hooking up at first, and somehow I got roped in with the tides, and the next thing I knew, we were calling each other boyfriends, and he told me that he loved me. At first, I wanted to go along with the relationship as I never had a boyfriend before, and I really wanted one. Why? I suppose, just because.
I understood that relationships don't need "sparks" or "chemistry". I mean, there was this show on CBS called "Mom". I used to watch the series when I was an undergrad. In one of the episodes, Kristy, the main character, was asking her new AA sponsor about the new romantic fling that she's having, and how, according to her, she just doesn't have any chemistry or sparks with said person. The sponsor replied that she didn't need one to have a functioning relationship. Because what she and any other addicts see as "sparks" or "chemistry" is the excitement of instability, the fear of being abandoned by their previous romantic endeavors. I get that reply. I thought to myself, that was what I needed. I needed a steady hand, a reliable partner with whom I could share my thoughts, problems, and anxiety. Someone with whom I can have a home.
And I mean, the show was not the only Western show which uses this perspective about relationships, the show "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend" also showed Pam and her husband's relationship as something that's not exciting but reliable. I think in an interview, David Sedaris also talked about how, even though it's not what he had imagined, he still loves his partner.
Our relationship was beige. and I think I liked it. It was as dependable as I had hoped it would be. But then, both of us became mired in our own problems, and for some reason, I think, the relationship couldn't really stand against each of these stress strains. Both of us became absent in the relationship.
I don't really know why the stress was overpowering the strength of the relationship; I told him every secret I have, as I think he has as well, we tried to talk our way through every problem we had -- never backing down from it.
Is it because I never had sex with him? I don't know why, but I couldn't really do it with him, even though I was just like a sex demon before we became boyfriends. My psychologist thought that maybe I was just not attracted to him physically. That might be. But he was cute, nice, moderately conventionally handsome. I don't think it was it. Regardless of my problem, he knew that I had this problem, I had asked him so many times before if it was a problem for him, and he said it was okay as he also had only a few sex with his ex-bf.
Maybe the relationship was not meant to be because I just didn't want it.
In the past month, I have indulged myself with so many Japanese BL works, from the anime to the live-action, from the series to the films. The works have really shown me, even though some of the plotlines are problematic, that all of them really know that they like/love their boyfriend, and they're willing to fight for their relationship. And as our relationship just became ever bitter this past month, it really emboldened me to break it off with him.
But then how can I know what I want? I know what I need. Want? that's a new concept for me. My zealot upbringing and my socialist belief really teach me not to be selfish, not to want, but to be altruistic, and selfless.
I think my toxic upbringing with my parents also made me weirded out, and alienated by the idea of "What I want". They never really let me choose. They're social science lecturers; they know very well how to manipulate me and how I think.
And I mean, putting aside my traumatic childhood and adolescence, as well as my socialist convictions. Can anyone really have desire or even free will? I'm not trying to be a hard determinist, but I can't really quite grasp what "want" is.
I think this confusion, and dilemma about "want" has been going on for quite some time in my life. The time when I was selecting middle school or high school. However, I chose my major for my undergrad. I chose my major for my master's. When I think about it again, did I? When I was in elementary school I actually wanted to take literature. But I somehow convinced myself that I wanted to take biology. I still excelled at it, but the more that I look at it, it seems that I just want to look cool by having a natural science degree rather than a social science. When I got my bachelor's degree, I knew full well that I wanted to study gender studies with the focus on public policy and participation in public spaces. But I couldn't take the major because I knew full well that my parents wouldn't fund my study if that was my major.
I think it's a very long and hard process to understand what "want" is for me personally.
Baby steps, I think.
I know I want to work abroad with this master's degree that I will and have to finish asap.
When I broke it off with my boyfriend, he actually offered me to just take a break from the relationship, not to break it off clean. But I refused. Because that's not what I wanted. I wanted him, and me, to benefit from the status of being single and not some grey undefined status of "on a break".
Baby steps.
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kazocheeto · 1 year
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Idk if any other trans men feel similarly, but everytime I've asked to not be treated like a woman I've always been met with hostility
For example, my ex wife insisted I do every chore, and cook for her. She made me remind her of her appointments, made me get presents for her family, etc. If I tried teaching her how to cook or clean, she would barely even try. She also insisted i ask her to do chores instead of just doing them. Anytime I brought up feeling dysphoric abt this, she would spin it on its head and tell me I was treating her like "the man" in this situation
My mom tells me we should pretend to be lesbians to make men leave us alone (as a former lesbian this doesn't work), she gasps loudly when ppl call me sir, and she habitually insinuates that I will be kidnapped (I have a beard and am pretty heavyset). Anytime I correct her, I am ignored or she rolls her eyes
My sibling even was shocked when I said my bf preferred men "despite dating me" and when I said he was bisexual they said "oh that makes sense" I haven't corrected them because that never ends well
I've been told I'm a blue haired feminist because of me being irritated abt this. More transmisandry on top of this tired shit tbh
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xoculture · 1 year
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HEADCANONS FOR MY BOYFRIEND DR SKRRRRT
HI SANDRA!!!!!!!!
Miguel
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hes mad here but hes so fine HELP-
He’s the one I feel like id get along with the most
he’s my age, he likes my music and we like the same movies
Miguel loves car dates, just blasting music from the shared playlist, taking a drive, and getting out is so relaxing to him.
he loves to do karaoke too, we just fuck around on the mic (skrrt Sandra let's have karaoke dates ur bf can dedicate an emo song to you)
I feel like we’re the best friend dynamic out of the relationships
thats how it would probably go: friends to lovers
hes like a good guy for serious hes sooo respectful and polite 
pulls up to the pad and if any family is there he makes sure to introduce himself n all that
HIM TEACHING ME KARATE. yeah. its so cute and he like lowkey roasts me like bro please i can barely stand correctly 
going to the arcade so i can beat him at steet fighter
HE LOVES MATCHING LIKE IDK WHY HE JUST DOES
minimal beef with the rest of the bfs but
he does. not. like. Matt.
like, at all.
“You know what sensei would say about him?” “yeah yeah- strike first, strike hard, no mercy his ass.”
he doesn't mind Bill, but he feels like he has to take him (and Ted) in moderation
Out of all the guys, he trusts Bill the most
Miguel prefers to hang out at my house but feels awkward when Eddie is around
especially after he found out Eddie and Matt were best friends
good thing Eddie works when Miguel is done with practice, then he can sneak in without feeling weird
would sooo get along with Jack. I feel like he and Jack would be down to hang out with or without me and his girl (hi sandra)
Miguel loves cuddling but he won't do it in front of the others bf’s, he’ll feel some type of way if one of the guys was shamelessly touching me and acting as if he wasn’t there (EX. Dario, Matt. Bill does it without even realizing he’s doing it- regardless I will not do my lil latino bf dirty)
His arms......... around......... my torso.................... need a seat help
I feel like sex with him would be so natural 
like he wouldn't have much experience, he’d try his best
that sounds so bad nah he does a good job but he doesn't get around is what I mean *crying emoji*
Kind of goofy because it's so light-hearted, i dunno Miguel just gives off "virgins not virgining anymore" vibes idk
i lov him xoxo
Dario
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Nah I'm pushing it with this one, cause no one likes him, aside from Gael maybe
NO MY BOYFRIEND CRAZY HE KILL PEOPLE
u know what tho he hasn’t thought about killing Bill or Miguel
hurting them, maybe, but never kill
they're just stupid teenagers to him, one of my “friends”
*me coming back from hanging out with Bill* “hey, Dario.” “There you are. How’s your little friend? the blonde one you were with.”
Matt and Gael tho? no yeah he has thought about killing them
“I could do it so easily, do you want to hear-?” “I’d rather not hear about how you’d kill my other boyfriends.”
Jealousy? Unsure. He is possessive, period. He doesnt like to share (he can barely tolerate the other guys) so if anyone outside the circle tries to holla at me,,,, yeah no that person will get beat
He has this weird competition thing with Gael. They’re kind of friends but would kill each other over me
Dario is a few years younger than Gael, but is kind of jealous of him in a way, particularly about how affectionate Gael is compared to Dario
he isn’t the softest but he does try his best
He’ll do things with me even if he isn’t interested in them. Unless he feels like he will absolutely hate the activity, he doesn't like to admit he enjoys doing whatever with me
Likes when i’m just lounging on him, he puts a hand right below my chest, or plays with my hands.
Insecure about the amount of affection he gives (or lack thereof), he wasn't used to it in the beginning, but after becoming accustomed to it, he feels like he just doesn't give as much as he gets and it conflicts with him
"Does it bother you that I hold you less than other guys?"
or 
"What do the others give you that I don't?" 
Lowkey a lot of reassurance
Due to Dario doing shady shit in other countries, he’s gone for periods of time
By the time he comes back, its late at night or very early in the morning. he always comes to my place first, not caring about whos there. If I’m not in bed by the time he comes, he’ll give me a really long hug before taking me to the bedroom to rest
If i’m not home, he’ll wait for me
poetic in a way (am I grasping at straws? yes. Dario is MY oc now leave me alone), would tell me about how he’d cut out the heart of every man who’s ever looked at me with lust and give it to me as an offering. yaaaay
aside from those... words of affirmation(?), he’d not super affectionate unless we’re messing around (uknowwhatimsayin)
Dario knows how to treat a girl tho like yessss f*ck me and tell me how’d you kill me
long fingers. need I say more?
When me and Dario bang, he likes to name drop the other guys, especially Gael
“look at you unraveling without permission... Gael’s been spoiling you. Looks like I’ll have to retrain you, hm?” or “He doesn’t make you cry like this, does he?” gay ass why are you thinking about another man's performance during sex
Love my crazy ass man fr
Matt
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this absolute fucking loser
like get him out of my sight
but also I wanthispenis so bad
horny. always
me yes but mostly him
I be getting ready for school and Matt will smack my ass like “heeey daisy dukes, wanna skip? spend the day with your incredibly sexy and horny boyfriend?” like yes no sir my education is important... “I can miss first period”
spoils me yup idc he got that hacker money which he spends on those nerdy ass collectables and me 
watching horror movies together except he actually tells me when things are scary and lets me know before hand 
ME NOT LETTING HIM KNOW IM TERRIFIED OF SPECIFICALLY SCREAM AND HIM PUTTING IT ON LIKE “This one’s good. Beginner friendly since you’re a scaredy cat” and me seeing Casey like oh no
thinks most of the apocalyptic movies i watch are boring but watches them with me anyways 
OMG OUR MUSIC TASTES. 
ARE SOOOOOOO DIFF
like hes emo and rock but not classic rock because “just cause its old doesnt make it classic. what sucked back then still sucks now” ok controversial kinggg
like he listens to Evanescence, Deftones, Greenday (on occasion), Slipknot etc
and I listen to like don omar, daddy yankee, kesha etc
so we tolerate each others music taste (i like what he listens to more then he likes mine *sobbign*)
theres no smooth transition to this so: when we first started dating he like. had no desire to dance at all and like ok cool and id dance with other guys but SOMETIMES. I WANNA DANCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND. 
and so freddy came in and was like “hey man you gotta dance with your girl” and matt basically said that dancing is stupid and he cant do it and Freddy just looked at him like: are you dumb
basically pushed him into letting me teach him to dance and even tho hes not the best hes more comfortable doing it and actually has a desire to dance with me so <3 
he thinks it's funny to mess with the younger guys. will go out of his way to do so
*Matt, Miguel, and I together for some reason in the car* “hey, this is the song we hooked up to last night-” “Matt- shut the fuck up.” “whaaat, I'm joking, relax.” He's laughing as he watches Miguel try not to scream from the back seat (like Matt is an actual asshole)
Is terrified of Dario but he feels like he has the upper hand since he’s dating me and offers something Dario cant give, therefore he’s safe
Out of all the guys, he’s the least jealous. He feels like he’s the one that holds the most cards, so he isn’t worried about the other guys
Justin Long still exists (cause I said so) and he looks very similar to Matt
*Matt and I cuddling, watching a Justin long movie* “... I’d make out with him.” “C’mon, him? I could beat the shit out of that guy.” 
Eddie hates being around when Matt is home for me
even tho they're besties, Eddie would prefer to not be around to hear the things that go on in my bedroom
Matt..... lord Matt................ sex with matt got me salivating
he takes his time- and no, it's not cause he wants to be romantic or whatever, he takes his time so he can see me cry
loves c*ckwarming he loves it
Sitting on his lap while he plays his stupid nerd games, penis in coochie, he livin the life stayin in there
Or if he’s really stressed he’ll just put it in whatever hole (mouth or cooter) he feels like and leave it in there
he loves fucking when the other guys are around it gives him such an ego boost covering my mouth with his hand and then “oops, hand slipped, hope they didn’t hear” yes you do you asshole
honestly he thinks trying to cover up noises is more erotic than letting others hear
LOVES TO RECORD US TOO. all of it is locked up securely but “look at you, so fucking desperate... show your other boyfriends how braindead you are for me.” He does, however, send the more tame videos to the other guys. “You know I couldn't not send them that video, who am I to withhold art from them?” asshole
HES THE ONE WHO SAID “i love you” FIRST I STAND BY THIS (SAID IT TWICE BEFORE ME.)
FIRST TIME: We where having sex and it was like, vanilla, unintentionally super romantic (surprising, i know), and while im there... bouncing on his PENIS. HE SAYS IT
“Fuck, holy shit- I love you, so much.” All broken moan yeah this is explicitly horny but idc I LOVE HIM
Never brought it up after he said it, but the SECOND TIME: 
I WAS GONNA WRITE ABOUT IT BUT U KNOW WHAT THATS A FIC PROMPT... BYE
aside from sex tho he’s genuinely so affectionate. He’ll lay in my lap, cuddle on the couch, sit me in his lap while hes doing his computer stuff, tangle himself into me in whoever's bed, he needs some sort of physical contact or else he cannot function
“babebabebabe, just stay here a little longer.” “Eddie’s gonna walk in soon.” “I’ll take the lecture, just let me hold you for a bit.”
PDA is the same too he needs to feel me or else he’ll be irritating
sobbing so hard and like he GOT AN IPOD because he wanted to have a thing with me 
“hey i got this can you help me out with it?” LIKE KNOWING DAMN WELL HE DOESNT NEED ANY HELP FROM ME
and like i jail break it for him and like show him themes n shit 
and he finds it so tedious to get music so hes like “hey do you mind downloading music? It’s such a pain in the ass” and im like “YES I LOVE YOU.” and i download shit for him bc i love him and i love downloading music and i come back and he’s like “you’re the best i love u” 
AND EVEN THO HE FINDS IT TEDIOUS
HE STEALS MY IPOD AND LEAVES PLAYLISTS ON THERE LIKEEEE.......
BRO PLEASE
an actual baby
I LOVE YOU MATT
Bill
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HATES MY MUSIC TASTE LIKE ACTUALLY I CANT GET OVER IT
HE CANT STAND IT 
“C’mon xolo, this is barely music- let me put something of culture on, like Van Halen!” (i tried shut up)
lets me paints his nails love that for us
HE. HE. HE.... CROP TOPS
wears more when he realizes it makes me drool
I feel like him and Miguel really bond over music. Miguel is super into rock of the 80′s so at least they got each other a little
hiii sandra u already KNOW how awesome the double dates are SKRRRT 
He’s stubborn. thats it.
imma be real wit you i have MINIMAL head canons cause idk *crying emoji* its hard writing for him 
I STILL WANNA KISS U BILL IM SORRY
Gael
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FINALLY GAEL
everything is in spanish, he shit talks the other guys in spanish and only Miguel and Dario knows what hes saying
“Puedo ver al ecuatoriano, pero ¿ese güero? ¿en serio?” “yes, so be nice” (he thinks bill is so annoying)
literally the most gentleman ever
opens car doors for me, insists on paying for everything etc. He grew up in the “ men always provide” enviorment
He loves spending time with me which is hard since i have to juggle 5 other babies
aka hes a lil needy but also is an adult so. he gets that i need space
he is a little crazy like its in him you just gotta trigger it... 
Dario triggers it
fucking hates dario but theyre like frenemies i swear.
“No sabía que estabas con Xolo.” / “No necesitabas saber.” (the passive aggressiveness between these two i swear)
Gael loves hugs so much he can do it for hours
He also loves dancing. mans is a romantic, he will dim the room lights, play some Pepe Aguilar and pull me into him
we listen to a lot of spanish music, loves singing Alejandro Fernandez’ heartbroken boleros to me as we clean either of our houses
“si alguna vez me dejas, nunca me recuperaré.”
Out of everyone, we fight the most
He feels like more of an adult compared to everyone else, so he thinks hes the most mature
when in reality hes just as stupid as everyone else
HES ALSO THE ONE WHO GETS THE MOST JEALOUS
its so bad
its slightly okay from anyone within the circle but anyone outside the circle? yeah no he becomes homicidal
*guy tryna holla at me in a club* “what’s a pretty little thing like you doing here all by yourself?” “She’s not by herself.”
Tiny compared to the other adults, same height as Bill (5′7) and one inch shorter then Miguel. It infuriates him
Hes so pretty i could stare at him for HOURS...
ok..... ok i think im done 
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rainymorninlady · 2 days
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My bf often says "u know what I mean". "U see what I'm saying". He shows me various projects he working on and little trinkets n tools. I always affirm him but I feel like a lump. An uninterested lump. Now he's telling me he peed in the body wash. I have to laugh it off and just be like no u didnt. I feel a bit upset. Idk. Am I complaining. Am I rude. Yes. Sorry. I love him but I feel angry. We r talking about food and I said "u could eat ramen"
Then he says "or I could defecate in ur mouth". Omg. Lol.
My ex BF used to call me gushy that was my name for him. Or tootsie. Idk. I hated that.
U know what I mean?
He literally has said u k wat I mean or u c wat I'm saying like over 14 times or more today. And it's still morning.
But why am I complaining when he distracts me from the war in my mind and calms it🖤💙🤎
Now he singing "diarrhea birthbath always getting in my way. Diarrhea birthbath everyday" that's what he calls me, my new name: Diarrhea birdbath!
I think it's kinda creative.
Also jus cus I feel like an uninterested lump doesn't mean I don't care to learn what he's working on and doing. I am interested. But I feel kinda strange always saying yeah and mhm. But maybe this is just how I'm supposed to console him n be there for him. Sometimes I ask questions or engage more.
Now he's complaining how I am a slow learner he says that I want to live defined by my psychological disorders. He's mad cus I had an oculargryic crisis when he tried to teach me rolling donuts in cinnamon sugar. I had a brain fart and also ADHD and couldn't understand what he told me to do. Also I am anti sugar and was against doing it anyway. So I was inside frustrated unhappy with the making of donuts in the first place. Then when he instructed me I had brain fart then he got mad and repeated his instructions n then the stress caused me oculargryic crisis. But I did end up rolling the donuts successfully
I feel like all his joking around is inherent playfulness but also a product of living in a capitalist world that values frivolousness and humor and fun. I find myself being more goofy and "myself" with him. My ex was real goofy but I felt estranged like I couldn't really connect with him on a goofiness level. He used to talk in different voices n stuff. I was always surprised and just like blown away how his quiet controlled demeanor in the outside world could mask such intense silliness. And it didn't come out until I lived with him long term.
Me and my bf watched Alice in wonderland together and she said she wanted to live in a world of nonsense. Well Alice u have ur wish. Enjoy.
I'm sorry I know I'm kind of a biatch but it's who I am. Maybe if this world were loving healthy community I would be less rigid.
I wonder if putting words to my relationship is creating a disconnect for me with him. I think I had better stop complaining before it's too late.
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pilikimi12 · 8 days
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Let me get this straight (personal rant)
I had a Bf
You said you didn't want to date someone from our class
I confided in you that I was unhappy with my bf
You started flirting with me "as a joke"
You did everything to spend time with me one-on-one for weeks
We shared basically every single one of our interests
I broke up with my Bf
You kept flirting
I flirted back
We texted non-stop for two weeks over break
You told me you liked me and you had a feeling "this" could be good
You asked me for pictures of my outfits and referenced "Are you gonna be my girl?" when you know it's one of my favorite songs
I started to listen to reputation and Lover a bit too much
You came back from break early to spend the weekend with me
It was awkward as heck
You kissed me
You told me you "weren't looking for anything serious rn"
I told you I wasn't either
You told me you "cared about our friendship too much"
I slept with you (you were my first time)
We kept seeing each other for weeks as FWB
You kissed my forehead, held my hands, touched my thighs in class, played with my hair and called me beautiful
You tried to find excuses to get me alone at your apartment
You kept acting like I was madly in love with you when all I did was suck your dick and tell you your hair looked good when you asked
You nit-picked every aspect of my appearance (my teeth, my stomach, my hair, my occasional zit) and personality (my laugh, my singing voice, my know-it-all attitude)
I lost 5 KILOS
We started It takes two together
I left a hang-out early ONE TIME instead of sticking around to suck your dick
You suddenly downloaded Hinge again
You complained TO ME about not finding a girl
You asked me to get you off but refused to reciprocate after I put out ??
You meet this girl TWICE
You both decide to delete Hinge together
You have the NERVE to tell me you'd rather date someone who isn't as much of a nerd as you are so you can "teach her" instead of someone like me who "already knows all of it"
You started It takes two with her on date n°4
You want to stay friends with me, your ex-FWB, while you have a GIRLFRIEND and keep seeing me one-on-one
You don't see the big deal cause "we weren't serious"
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pandoruhsbox · 1 year
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TW: blood, self harm, emotional abuse
I saw a TikTok video stating that the need for parents to teach their daughters that just because he cries and threatens to hurt himself doesn’t mean he’s still not lying to you and manipulating you. And that in and of itself is a form of manipulation that needs to be walked away from.
And it made me think of my POS narc ex that used to do that. Granted we both had mental health issues we both had shitty households and when I’d finally get tired of his shit or I’d find out he’d cheated for the millionth time he’d cry and get whiney with snot all over his face and tell me how he can’t live without me. How no one would love me like he does. No one would want the girl who forced her bf to kill himself because she was being a cold hearted bitch.
And the one time I stood my ground. The one time I was totally serious, he grabbed a kitchen knife off my counter and cut his arm infront of me and then fled from my house. And for the rest of the day I called his house, because this was before everyone had cell phones of their own. Like I had a cell phone but he didn’t, so I called and called and pissed off his whole household. I didn’t hear from him the whole next day either and my parents were strict and my mom could give a rats ass and she didn’t like him anyway so it’s not like I could just walk to his house. I didn’t live in a great area and certain streets between out houses were known for shootings and gang activity.
Anyway the evening of the next day around 9, a mutual frien of ours showed up to my house and told me my ex-boyfriend had killed him self the day before. I was in total shock, but it just didn’t sit right. I didn’t believe him and I told him so. To which he gave me some bs thing about just having come from his house blah blah…and when I was finally coming to terms with it, when I was finally on the verge of a complete freak out…my ex-boyfriend came walking down the street and asked our friend if he was ready to go.
And in that moment I wish he had died. In that moment I should have tried so much harder to leave and told everyone everything he’s ever done. I should have been stronger. But regardless of what I should have done, I know I didn’t deserve any of that.
And that’s why, it’s important to teach ANYONE…that just because they cry, and tell you how much they need you and threaten to kill themselves if you don’t take them back..It doesn’t mean shit. And you’re better off without someone who’s that vile. Tell someone, anyone and save yourself.
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disasterbispn · 4 years
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“Navigation is not your strong point, is it? Camelot is south. The sun rises where?”
“In the east.”
“Then what have we been walking towards all day?”
“To our deaths!”
Well, this is going about as well as the time my dad tried to teach me navigation.
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anashins · 3 years
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What's My Name? (M) || Jaehyun
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“Say it again, who’s making you feel so good?”
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Jaehyun and you have broken up a few weeks ago. But then he finds out you had a fling with Johnny, and he's not amused.
Warnings: fingering, oral sex, unprotected sex, cursing and just Jaehyun being a jealous dipshit ex-bf
_______
Jaehyun didn’t knock on your door, because he was pissed as hell. He just stormed into your room and found a shocked you sitting at her desk, reading peacefully. Luckily, you still had your clothes on, he thought. Or had you just dressed yourself very fast?
“Jaehyun!” you exclaimed in surprise as you arose from your seat and let the book fall on the table top. “What are you doing here?”
Yeah, what was he doing here? He hadn't prepared words or anything. He had just been led by his feelings after he got the news that his friend would come over to your place. Feelings which contained anger, jealousy and something so familiarly warm as he looked at you that he was lost for words.
“What was he doing here?” Jaehyun just asked bluntly.
“Pardon me?” you returned, obviously confused. “Who?”
“Johnny. What was Johnny doing here?”
You shook your head. “How do you even know that he was here?”
“Answer me.” This was an order.
You sighed and your face expression only showed disappointment when you looked at him. “You shouldn’t be here, Jaehyun.”
“Y/n, don’t avoid my question. What was Johnny doing here?”
“This is none of your business, okay?” You wanted to sound angry, but your answer was nothing more than a just whisper. “Please, Jaehyun... You were the one who left me because you wanted to see more of the world, or in my words, because you wanted to fuck around. So please, just leave now.”
Your heart tightened so much that all the pain you had tried to suppress crashed down on you at once. You couldn’t endure his presence anymore and especially not that handsome face and body of his which you used to be physically close to so many times.
You couldn’t have him anymore, and the pain almost ripped you apart when he was standing right in front of you. When he left you, you had agreed on never crossing each other’s paths again, but here he was, bringing back all the memories.
“Have you had sex with him just now?” Jaehyun asked with a meaningless expression on his face.
“What?!”
“You heard me. How many times did you do it? Were you doing it with him when you were with me? Was he better than me?”
You didn’t answer immediately. Instead you blushed first until you found the right words. “Excuse me?! It was you who didn’t want to be with me anymore, Jaehyun. I was so in love with you, but you have decided you didn’t want to be tied down to one girl only. So again, this is none of your business!”
“But it is my business when it happened during the time when we were together!”
You buried your face in your hands to hide your flushed cheeks. “Please, just leave, Jaehyun. I can't do this.”
But instead, you could feel him approaching you, grabbing your wrists to expose your face which was mirroring embarrassment and shyness. You instantly looked away.
“Liar." He smirked. “You don’t want me to leave.”
With these words, he leaned in to you, touched your chin with his thumb and index finger to lift your head up, and kissed you. First, he just pecked your lips in a tender manner, testing the waters, but when you didn’t push him away directly, he brought his hand to your neck to pull you closer to him.
You didn’t know what exactly was happening when you felt Jaehyun’s soft lips on yours. Wasn’t he supposed to leave? Wasn't he supposed to tell you that you stood no chance to be with him anymore, because he just didn’t do relationships? Instead, he gave you hope all over again.
Jaehyun knew that he was supposed to leave... now. But he didn't. He just stood there, feeling entirely happy when you finally kissed him back. There were two reactions he had expected: You would either push him away or... this. And honestly, he had wished for it to be the latter. Despite all the hurtful things he had told you the last time you saw each other.
This was against his life plans, against his priorities. But Jaehyun himself just knew that he wanted you. And that he didn’t want to let you go ever again, especially not to another guy. It was then when he realized that letting you go was probably the biggest mistake he had made in his young life so far.
Without parting your lips, you jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist while he caught you by your bum, holding you tightly. Shifting around, you approached the bed where he then softly placed you onto the mattress. His fingers stroked your cheek as he planted a kiss on your nose, looking into your eyes with a slight smile before he began to kiss the side of your neck.
You didn’t want to make the first move to the next step. If you would and he didn’t want to go further, you’d just make a fool of yourself. But Jaehyun just made the first move to the next step himself.
His hands vanished under your shirt, making their way up with the light fabric between his fingers, then taking it off entirely. You wouldn’t ask anything anymore. Even if this was only a one time thing, if it made you that happy only for a few moments after sorrowful past weeks, then you were willing to take everything that came after.
“I missed... this... so much...” he murmured against our skin when he kissed down to your cleavage.
“Me too...”
Taking off your bra with one fluid motion, Jaehyun wanted to work on your breasts when he suddenly stopped.
You got scared that he’d interrupt everything he had just begun and just walk out of the door, but the thought was pushed aside quickly when he laid his mouth on your left nipple, cupping it with his wet lips.
“Did he do this to you too?” Jaehyun suddenly asked, pulling on your sensitive tip with his teeth.
“Ah!" you yelped. “Wha—“
Why on earth was he now bringing up Johnny again?!
“Apparently not. Good.”
He grinned before he left butterfly kisses on the breast he had just bruised like he wanted to apologize, making you shiver in pleasure. Rubbing his thumb around the right peak, he was grinding against your hips. You quickly got wet all over before he suddenly grabbed your other breast tightly, crushing his lips onto it like he had just discovered something he had never seen before.
“Jaehyun!” you squealed.
It wasn’t painful at all for you, it was only surprising. But he just smirked against your skin, moving his tongue around your nipple, sucking and licking on it.
“Who am I?” he suddenly asked, bringing his head back up to your face again.
“What?” you breathed.
“What's my name?”
“Jae... hyun...?” It was more of a question than a confident answer.
“Yes, and I am the one who is doing this to you. The only one. Don’t you dare to forget it.”
“Jaehyun, are you...?!”
But you didn’t need to speak it out. You knew it and he knew as well. Mischievous Jaehyun was playing with you because he was jealous of Johnny. You had finally seen through his facade.
He unbuttoned your pants, removing them along with your panties before undressing himself entirely and tossing all clothes aside. Jaehyun then pressed his length against your entrance as he laid himself back on top of you, sliding his hard-on up and down your folds. A grin appeared on his face as he felt you dripping wet from his movements.
“I’m not even in you yet," he teased.
“Shut up.”
He played with streaks of your hair, making sure every inch of your face was touched by his lips before he went down to your neck, his hips still rocking with yours as quiet moans fell from between your lips, but he was reluctant to fill you all up.
Jaehyun was punishing you for being with Johnny, you now knew. Screw morals, you wanted revenge. So you pushed him away and pinned him down on the bed before you seated yourself on his lap. His length was standing up in his full girth right in front of you.
An evil grin grew on your face. “You’re punishing me? Then I want revenge.”
“Shit," Jaehyun cursed as you went down on him, embracing his dick with both of your hands, dragging them down slowly.
“I wasn’t the one who was sleeping with Johnny," he panted mid-motion.
But you ignored his childish remark. You put your mouth on the top of his length, licking the tip in rotary movements like a lollipop, and Jaehyun just started swearing between his gasps as his breath came in hitches.
You opened your eyes to take a look at him before your tongue found its way to the base, then dragged all the way up to the tip again. You enjoyed seeing him getting exposed like this with his arm on his forehead, his bangs glued on his temples with sweat while his other hand rested on his chest which was heaving up and down in an irregular rhythm.
You grinned inwardly and comprised the upper part of his dick with your mouth wide open, taking him by surprise.
“Fuck!”
Jaehyun began to thrust upwards, pushing his member into your mouth uncontrollably. You sucked and licked on the tip, teasing him a little before you pushed his full length into your throat as far as you could. Then, you bobbed your head up and down, each time probably a little further than before. You had never had him so deep inside your mouth before, and he knew.
“Did Johnny teach you this?” he then asked, and you rolled your eyes.
You brought her head up, leaving him there, unsatisfied with a craving like he had been abstinent for a whole year.
“Shut up now, Jaehyun!”
“Heck, why—“
But Jaehyun’s whining was cut off by the feeling of wetness and tightness around his length. You sunk down on him, slowly adjusting to his girth after such a long time. He held onto your hips with both hands, grabbing them tightly as you began to rock your hips back and forth, your upper body following wavy movements.
Jaehyun had almost forgotten how hot sex with you had always been during your time apart in the past weeks. He had almost forgotten how much pleasure you gave him just by looking at you, and above all, he had almost forgotten how beautiful you were. And he didn’t mean it in the content of sex only.
Why had his eyes just opened now? Why hadn't he seen earlier what was right in front of him the whole time? He didn’t need anyone else. No matter how many girls he fucked, he would always only want and need you.
You leaned back, bringing yourself up just to slide down on him again and again while Jaehyun simultaneously thrusted upwards into you, but not with his full strength yet, and you knew it. He was still teasing you.
“Jaehyun," you cried out his name, desperately bouncing up and down on him, searching for the pleasure which was slowly turning you impatient.
“Kiss me now," he demanded.
When you didn’t make a move to, he stood his knees up, letting you fall on top of him with a little squeal. Chest on chest, body on body, he made sure that you wouldn’t withdraw again.
He grabbed the back of your head and crushed his lips back onto yours after having pulled you down to him. While you were occupied with kissing, Jaehyun brought his hips up with a hard thrust, causing you to gasp against his lips, and he smiled into the next kiss.
With another strong thrust which filled you up to the brim, he knocked the air out of your lungs and your face landed on his right shoulder, desperately breathing for air. He did it several times more, and every time, your voice would get a little higher and your breathing a little faster.
You held onto his shoulders, hearing him chuckle as he thrusted into you with full force now. It was so good from this angle that you didn’t stop trembling and clenched your fingers into his skin even harder.
“I bet Johnny never did this to you.”
“Stop talking about him now, goddammit!” You rolled her eyes and bit into his shoulder for revenge.
“Ouch! Fine, stop!”
He interrupted his movements and you whimpered.
“Please...” you begged.
“Tell me...” He brought his hips forward, hitting you at the right angle inside.
“Wha—ooohhh...”
“Who is...”
Another thrust hit a sweet spot inside of you again. You scratched his shoulders, burying your face in the pillow to scream into it.
“... better?”
He pulled out of you, and just the head of his member remained inside.
“Aaaah...”
So close. You were so close.
“Wrong answer.”
You felt him pulling out almost fully. No, no, no, he couldn’t do that.
“Tell me, who’s making you feel so good?”
“Jaehyun!” you screamed, and he stopped.
“What?” he teased, not making a move to push into you again. "Whose name did you just say?"
“Jaehyun! For fucks sake, you, you you! YOU are better than him! ONLY YOU!” you finally screamed. “Jaehyun!”
He then slid into you again, hard, and a gasp escaped your mouth as you threw your head aside in pleasure.
“I haven’t heard. Who?!”
“You!”
“Who am I?”
“Jaehyun!... You are... aaahhh... Jaehyun... ”
“Say it again, who’s making you feel so good? Who’s fucking you so good now?”
Now, he thrusted into you so hard that only a few more pushes were enough to send you over the edge.
"What's my name?!"
“JAEHYUNJAEHYUNJAEHYUNJAEHYUN!!!!!”
Your mouth was formed to a silent scream as you dug your nails into his skin when the overwhelming feeling shot through your body. You were soaking and pressed your opened mouth on Jaehyun’s shoulder, keeping your eyes shut when the pleasurable spasms took control of your body.
Jaehyun was holding you tightly during your climax, your walls tightening around him and nearly pushing him out of you. His arms rested on your back, giving you a reassuring feeling while he kissed your temple, your head still dizzy.
Jaehyun smiled at you and rolled on top without pulling out. Well, it was his turn now.
“Let me finish this," he said as he started to thrust into you again, sweat dripping from his forehead. “Did you mean it?” he then asked, continuing his pace.
“What?” you breathed.
“That I’m better than him.”
“Yes.”
There was no need to be embarrassed about your remaining feelings anymore, because Jaehyun still felt the same way. You could tell by his smile and the happiness which was reflected in his eyes.
“Well, I’ll still prove it to you.”
That fucker.
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kakiwrites · 3 years
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Hiii! I was dumbed by my bf and now he’s dating another girl so I’ve been kinda sad lmaoao, anyways I was wondering can you do a bakugou x fem reader? Where like the same thing happens to the reader (like her and todoroki was dating, but he left her for momo etc. ) and she just starts to cry/have a breakdown in front of everyone and bakugou takes her to his dorm to comfort her and she ends up with bakugou? Bonus if they kiss <33
an explosive rebound
Genre: comfort
A katsuki bakugo x reader
a/n: hey baby! I kinda changed the request to an ambiguous toxic ex because I can't see todoroki doing anything of the sort. Your boyfriend doesn't need you babe. You're stronger without him. keep your head up high!
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'didn't even love you anyway. We're through.'
The notification was bright on your screen. It stayed there, taunting you, mocking you. Your heart began to ache. Why did you feel so guilty? you were the one who found out about his little side chick.
You turned off your phone and forced on a small smile. You tried your best to tune back into the random conversation the bakusquad was having, but their words just went from one ear out the other. It was getting hard to focus, hard to breathe, hard to be stable.
You didn't notice a certain keen eye watching your every move.
Your fists turned white under the table. Keep it together. Just get through this period and maybe the pain will fade.
It was your fault.
If only you were prettier, smarter, more patient.
If only you were more perfect then maybe-
"(y/n), are you feeling okay?" Mina placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. Keep it together. try to smile, Come on. Your body betrayed you. Those words causing all your walls to crash down.
That was when all hell broke loose. Tears began to stream down your cheeks, catching the squad's attention. They halted their banter, watching as your shaking hand opened your phone and handed it to the pink-haired girl.
Mina skimmed through the messages. Her concerned face now turning to disgust and anger. Her eyes darkened as she handed the phone to Kirishima for the other boys to read.
as they went through the conversation, you felt like You could cut the tension with a knife.
"that's just wrong, man." Kirishima crossed his arms angrily. Sero rolled his eyes at the man's excuses. Denki furrowed his brow at the phone. Mina was just looking at her nails intimidatingly, trying to seem cool despite her hands quivering with fury.
Bakugo was reading through silently, very uncharacteristically. He rubbed his temple in irritation, yelling would just upset you more. Did this nobody really hurt you like this?
"Okay, enough bullshit. Mina, look for this bitch's address. We're gonna teach him a little lesson." Sero said with certainty. Mina nodded, taking out her phone and scrolling through her social media feed with lightning speed.
Before you could think of opposing the idea, a hand pulled you out of your seat and out of the cafeteria. Bakugo was pulling you in direction of the dorms.
Bakugo was always viewed as a man who hates anyone and everyone. That wasn't the case. Bakugo liked you, or in his words, he could stand you. Now he was sure that It was more than just tolerating you. There was something more to it. He only realized his feelings a few weeks ago, not like he would tell a soul about them. He wasn't all that mad that your dumpster fire of a boyfriend, hell, he expected it. From a guy like that? It was bound to happen. This gave him the opportunity to make his move
And he was sure as hell more than ready for it.
The silent walk back to the dorm was starting to become awkward. He quickly pulled you into the dorm building, up the elevator, and into your room. You sat on the edge of your bed and hastily wiped your eyes while Bakugo made sure that no one followed you back. It was only when Bakugo made sure the door was closed did he looked into your eyes and spoke.
"what's on your mind, dumbass? Tell me so I can fix it." he leaned on the door, crossing his arms. He eyed patiently as you gathered your thoughts and courage to tell him everything.
"i-I feel so used…" you mumbled after a few minutes, trying to keep your thoughts from overflowing. "I feel like it's all my fault. That maybe if I was prettier, more understanding, more perfect then maybe, just maybe, someone would love me." you tried to wipe your tears away only for it to flow harder down your cheeks.
Bakugo sighed, he wasn't angry or irritated at you, he was mad at the man who did this to you. The man who made you feel like you were unworthy of love when you deserve every single ounce of it in this world.
Bakugo needed to fix this.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to you, bending down to meet your gaze. He reached up and caressed your cheek, wiping the stray tears in the process. Then he did something you didn't expect to happen.
Bakugo leaned in and kissed you.
You imagined his kisses would be rough and rushed but it was the entire opposite of that. His kisses were soft and delicate. It was like wouldn't be able to feel it if you weren't paying attention. He was holding onto you like you were fragile glass as if you would shatter with one wrong touch. This was very different from the Bakugo you knew.
Or maybe this was just an entirely different side of him you haven't experienced yet.
"these thoughts are so stupid." he grumbled once he pulled away, causing you to smile a little. "look, I'm not good with this shit but I think- no, I fucking know that you deserve to be loved. You know why?"
You only shrugged at him.
"Because I love you. The almightly dynamight doesn't love someone less than perfect. No fucking need to doubt yourself because I can assure you, that as long as you're you, you're fucking perfect, got me? I won't let anyone make you think that you're inferior 'cause the (y/n) I know is stronger than those dumbasses."
You nodded, new tears flowed down your cheeks, but it wasn't out of guilt or sadness. It was out of happiness of acceptance. Bakugo brought you into his embrace and let you nuzzle into his chest.
Yeah, maybe you were still hurt, maybe you still need to heal,
But you were ready to love again.
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And that's it! Hope you guys enjoy this, Especially you babe! Requests are open so please don't be shy to leave anything in my inbox! Love you guys ❤️💖💕
General taglist (don’t be shy to comment your tumblr @ below): @tokyoghoose @macaronnv @reogou @midnightangelfox @wumboho @seiijixcia @tessabrown101
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