#or talking about the characters that appeared without saying the plot

[kayunivy]

Okay.... Let's analyze what happened in dcmk these last few weeks. Obvious SPOLIERS will be commented so you know.

> Appearance of Aoko's mother in Magic Kaito.

Where was she all this time? Why did she never appear or even show a sign of life? She didn't even call her daughter on her birthday... She appears so oblivious to everything, she didn't even know who Kaitou Kid was since her husband has always been obsessed with trying to catch this thief for YEARS. It seems like Gosho just randomly placed her in the story without trying to connect with the canon, it's almost as if she was a character outside of her original manga.

> Film 27 and its breaks in logic and common sense.

After all these years, Gosho decided to go against everything he had already said and made the Kaishin to be cousins, not only ruining a unique relationship (whether you shipped or not) but also bringing plot holes and contradictions in the story. If they are cousins ​​what's the excuse for them never trying to even interact before? Why was it that when Yukiko first met Kaito, she never acted like she was related to her? The same with Toichi, she always talked about him as just her teacher and NOTHING more than that, it doesn't make sense to put that in the story now. Why did Kaito never even have support from his family? Not even showing up at Toichi's symbolic funeral? How come Yusaku never went to talk to his late brother's family, even if he knew the truth KAITO DIDN'T KNOW...

No one even considered his feelings...

> All the bullshit involving Kaishin.

The biggest problem for me about them being cousins ​​is not just because of the ship but because of all the history and construction they had. It's as if everything that's different about them is summed up in the simple fact that they're related. But Kaishin has always had something unique, something that Gosho himself defined as "a mysterious bond". Them not having the slightest type of relationship made everything so unique, a connection that only the two of them could have together, one would easily understand the other even though they were complete strangers. Now I feel like they want to throw that away.

> TOICHI KUROBA AND MY HATE FOR HIM.

Gosho had already said that Toichi was possibly alive but the confirmation brought me a wave of anger and contempt that I had never felt for any other dcmk character (even bo). Let's think about Kaito in this whole story:

• lost his father when he was just a child and is still traumatized by it today.

• for 8 FUCKING YEARS he discovers that his father's death was never an accident but a murder.

• His father was actually an internationally wanted thief who was after a precious stone capable of bringing immortality.

• he steps into his father's shoes as KID and decides to try to find out for himself what happened to his father, who killed him and why.

• now there is a criminal organization that thinks he is the KID who didn't really die and they are trying to kill him once and for all.

• he decides to put himself at risk looking for Pandora, being something belonging to the organization and the police themselves.

• a lot of people hate him, regardless of whether he hurts people or not.

• more and more he becomes more and more removed from everything and becomes burdened with the KID charade.

• his own mother doesn't care about him, on the contrary, it seems like she likes to make things even more difficult for her son (she disguised herself as her dead ex-husband just to screw with her son's head, that's sickening to say the least).

• everything Kaito does is because of his father's murder, he never wanted to be KID, he never liked stealing, he doesn't do any of that for pleasure (except when it involves a certain mini detective but that's not the focus now ).

• and in the end his father was ALIVE all this time, doing who knows what while his son was risking his life because of him... BRO...

This whole thing is insane. And not in a good way.

#i'm insane #I can't stop thinking about Kaito in the middle of all this #someone needs to hug him #i'm crying so hard #my baby :( #kaito deserves the world #kaitou kid #kaito kuroba #conan edogawa #shinichi kudo #kaito x shinichi #kaishin #dcmk #magic kaito #detective conan #meitantei conan #aoko nakamori #toichi kuroba #gosho aoyama

[loopy777]

Is Zuko a Gary Stu? A lot more people are becoming anti-Zuko especially after the comics. Thoughts?

Well, it depends how we're defining "Gary Stu." I tend to prefer a strict definition for it and "Mary Sue," that of a self-insert wish-fulfillment character. I also don't personally consider it to necessarily be a negative; one of my favorite fictional characters is George Lucas' Flash Gordon Gary Stu, Luke Skywalker.

But the common internet usages for the term typically translates to "character favored by the narrative and/or storyteller(s) to a degree that harms the story." So I'll address both definitions.

I don't think Zuko is any kind of wish-fulfillment character in the AtLA cartoon, nor do I think the narrative shows him any favoritism. In fact, I'd say the story goes out of its way to make things harder for Zuko than the basic character arc demands. It could've had him switch sides at the end of Book Earth, and I don't think there would have been much complaining. Likewise, the story could have had gAang come around to him a lot sooner in Book Fire, rather than spending entire episodes (and in Sokka's case a two-parter) reconciling him with the gAang one-by-one. I think his character arc is improved and given more impact by the desire to cover this extra rocky ground, although I also think 'The Boiling Rock' didn't need to be a two-parter and all of early Book Fire's filler episodes with the gAang should have been relocated to after Zuko's defection so that they'd have the added interest of showcasing the expanded gAang's new dynamic.

Ah, but then we get to the comics. I'm going to assume we're talking about Gene Yang's comics specifically, since Zuko has not appeared substantially in anything written by anyone else. It's easy to harp on these comics' use and treatment of Zuko, but I want to be clear that they're poorly written on pretty much every level. The dialogue is bad. Major plot threads are abandoned without comment. Everyone is mischaracterized. The humor is more juvenile than anything in the cartoon. What stories are told spin their wheels until they get wrapped up in a rush. There's bad, racist, pro-colonialism messages baked into them all. Etc and so on.

And yes, I do think these comics favor Zuko to their detriment and his. Gene Yang has admitted that Zuko is his favorite character in the cast. But even if he hadn't, we can see in 'The Promise' that the presentation has a lopsided preference for Zuko over Aang, the other main character of the story. Zuko is not portrayed as wrong for pressuring Aang to promise to kill him, despite Aang being uncomfortable with it and the whole idea being against Aang's major beliefs; compare that to the cartoon, where Zuko was portrayed as wrong and bullying in his attitude to try to get Aang to kill Ozai. In the matter of the former Fire Nation colonies, Aang and Zuko have opposing approaches, but rather than the story taking the stance that they need to compromise and mix'n'match their ideas, Zuko gets to utter the line, "I was right all along," while Aang has to be lectured by Katara, admit to being wrong, compromise with the Air Acolytes, and break off his relationship with his ghost mentor.

In 'The Search,' Zuko goes on to find his mother and learn her backstory, something that ends up not troubling or challenging him at all. She gives up her new identity to become his doting mother again and Zuko doesn't have a single doubt about it. He gets an adoring little sister in the form of Kiyi, despite her having a real problem with her mother choosing to become Ursa instead of keeping her familiar form. And his questionable treatment of Azula is not addressed; like Aang in 'The Promise,' she's the one who has to compromise (or in this case refuses to compromise).

You can see the pattern here of Zuko's presentation. This is where we can start to question if Zuko is Gene Yang's self-insert, but to do so, we would have to assume a lot of stuff about Gene Yang. For example, he breaks up Zuko's romance with Mai and then starts hinting at something with him and Suki; does that mean Gene Yang wants to date Suki? Then why bring Mai back so prominently in 'Smoke & Shadow' and then both go easy on her mistakes and break her up from Kei Lo at the end? Maybe Gene Yang wants a harem with both Suki and Mai, but if that's the case, then it's pretty odd that he ends his run on the comics with Zuko dating neither.

We could do the same for other aspects of Zuko's presentation (Does Yang want a tiny powerful Firebender as a little sister? Does he think all colonizers are awesome? Does he advocate denying first-amendment rights in times of danger? Is his favorite food to eat at winter time extra-spicy fire noodles?) But we'd probably run into similar questions we can't answer, leaving us to either assume way too much that would likely be wrong or admit that it doesn't matter.

Which brings us back to the much simpler idea of the character being favored beyond what is warranted. That helps with examining 'Smoke & Shadow,' where Zuko is actually portrayed as making some wrong choices for once in all of Yang's run of comics, like ordering his people's homes invaded and trashed on a vague hope that he'll find some information about Azula- but before that, he's somehow enlightened enough to make rainbow fire, and afterward, he solves everything with a quick apology to his people.

Usually, the narratives ignore Zuko's flaws and twist themselves into weird shapes to justify things. It's like Gene Yang started with the intentions of having Zuko make mistakes and grow over the course of the various stories, but then chickens out, so we're left with themes that feel incomplete or outright harmful. Zuko doesn't need to grow beyond his desire to have a Fire Nation elite (and their pet Earth Kingdom spouses and servants) rule over the former colonies forever, he gets to say, "I was right all along." He starts by locking Azula away in a straight-jacket, but then doesn't find a way to reconcile with her and treat her more humanely, because she goes fully homicidal and then runs away so he doesn't need to deal with her. But in 'Smoke & Shadow,' we get one example where, probably because Yang doesn't see it as that bad in the first, Zuko is allowed to temporarily be wrong before returning to a state of grace.

I think Gene Yang is trying to tell good Avatar stories. But, among his (many, many, many) mistakes, I think he's letting his favor for Zuko influence the stories he's trying to tell. He's trying to give his favorite character juicy dramatic material that lets him grow into an even more awesome character- but then he shies away from depicting his favorite in too harsh a light, ruining the whole thing.

The stories don't feel like they're going anywhere with him, despite him being a main character.

So if that fits with your definition of "Gary Stu," then yes, Zuko has become one in the comics. But he didn't start as one in the cartoon, and I don't think Gene Yang writes stories out of a desire for his favorite to marry Suki because Sword Girlfriend > Knife Wife.

Perhaps that's he never got Maiko back together; he likes Mai too much to make her the one in the wrong, but then that would mean Zuko needs to learn and grow, and that can't be right. ;)

#anonymous #avatar comics critical #atla comics critical #comics critical

[sy-on-boy]

Real talk: the fact that Anya expects to read Demetrius’ mind but sees nothing is kind of sad because Demetrius saw his 6yo brother approach and congratulate him, and had zero thoughts in his brain. But that doesn’t mean Demetrius doesn’t care about him. When Damian stutters, Demetrius initiates conversation by talking about Damian’s grades, showing that he indeed pays attention.

Demetrius seems almost resentful by Damian’s insistence to impress Donovan, giving out a snarky, passive aggressive, teen appropriate response: “How would I know? It’s not as if I’m in regular contact with him.” This is like the passive aggressive version of whatever is going on with Melinda. Damian is a relatively innocent 6yo kid seeking his father’s approval, but both his mother and his brother appear to be seriously affected (in a bad way) by Donovan, and they avoid talking about Donovan even as Damian repeatedly mentions him. Demetrius doesn’t understand Damian’s desire for their father’s approval. He also doesn’t understand his father, hinting at some sort of disconnect between them.

What also saddens me a bit is how Demetrius barely acknowledged Damian’s friends talking to him. Like, they’re six year old kids trying to make a good impression. Still, Demetrius didn’t completely ignore them, just gave a meaningless “oh” and decided to stop thinking about people. It’s very much giving “stressed (and depressed) to the point of apathy”. When facing the innocence (ignorance?) and optimism of 6yo kids, Demetrius doesn’t understand. (And maybe he doesn’t understand friendship, which is what Damian has?)

I mentioned before that characters Anya met are probably “good” characters on the side of Forgers or at least are sympathetic to readers. Because if Anya met a “bad” character and read their mind, she would be too OP and the plot could be quickly solved. It’s like how we all thought Melinda was suspicious when she met Yor, but then Anya met Melinda and read her mind to reveal that she cares about Damian (even if it’s in a twisted way). Demetrius is interesting because he subverts what I said above by thinking very little, so Anya cannot really read him. But so far, I think his portrayal is that of a typical middle schooler with middle school angst, and he cares about Damian even if he has zero thoughts on his brain (and doesn’t like the way Damian craves fatherly approval). He is still a child and presumably a victim of his father’s parenting.

The framing is also interesting. Damian telling his friends to go on without him while he waits for Demetrius. The panel of Demetrius towering over a stuttering Damian. Demetrius going away, showing a panel of him as a small figure in an otherwise blank background. That panel when Anya thinks Damian’s relatives are weird has her looking at Damian while he’s some distance away from her (and the rest of his friends). The brothers feel disconnected. Damian is both eager and nervous to talk to Demetrius. Demetrius is nonchalant and apathetic, but not impolite or outwardly wholly dismissive.

Given Damian’s wacky family situation, I’m glad he has friends at Eden. Ewen and Emile of course are steadfast and loyal companions, always eager to back up their beloved boss man. Anya can read his mind and she knows about his insecurities (and also his weird family).

Becky is also good as a friend because she doesn’t care about sucking up to Damian, she often calls him out, but she also supports Damian when he deserves it. A sweet scene here is Damian saying he’s a Desmond so he’s expected to get a star, and Becky adding “it’s still a great achievement. Congrats!”. Becky is validating his success and telling Damian it’s okay to be proud and happy for himself. Even though she’s usually judgemental towards Damian, she’s still kind to him because that’s who she is as a character.

In the end, Damian still wants his father’s attention. He had no idea Demetrius wasn’t that close to their father… I would assume Demetrius spent most of his time at Eden and this is Damian’s first year at Eden, so he actually gets to interact with his brother instead of hearing things about him?

So far, Demetrius seems like a very jaded character in contrast to Damian who feels like a beam of sunshine now. He’s the heir so he’s got more troubles. But it’s nice that he’s finally debuted and no longer in mystery. Can’t wait to see what Endo has in store for him :)

#spy x family #this got so long?? #damian desmond #demetrius desmond #becky blackbell #yeah im tagging them #uh #spy x family spoilers #long post #meta #sxf analysis

[aragornsrockcollection]

Hello I’m here to talk about an opinion that isn’t so much unpopular because people don’t like it, but because it is splitting hairs and basically an argument based in semantics that sane people reasonably do not waste their time caring about it.

I am neither sane nor reasonable and therefore think about this a lot, and get ready to pull out a soapbox and type the Text Wall of China any time I hear people offhandedly contradict this opinion, and so I have come here today to die on this molehill, and write the over-long post of my dreams, because fuck it, it’s my blog.

Drumroll please:

Sauron is not The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings is the main antagonist though, so furthermore,

Sauron is not the main antagonist of The Lord of the Rings

I internally go insane every time someone says “Sauron, the eponymous Lord of the Rings” or “The antagonist never actually appears in Lord of the Rings” or uses Lord of the Rings as an penultimate example of having a flat ‘evil for evil’s sake’ villain. This is mostly in YouTube videos so I’m not calling out anyone here.

So who is the Lord of the Rings? Where do I get this shit? Why should anyone care?

I will tell you in far too much detail under this cut, because I told you I was gonna be extra about it and this is already long enough to inflict on my followers without their consent.

First and foremost, Frodo is not the Lord of the Rings either. Let’s get that out of the way. Gandalf explicitly tells us that in Many Meetings (the first chapter in Rivendell in Fellowship), when Pippin greets a newly awakened Frodo with quintessential Fool of a Took™️ swagger.

‘Hurray!’ cried Pippin, springing up. ‘Here is our noble cousin! Make way for Frodo, Lord of the Ring!’

‘Hush!’ Said Gandalf from the shadows at the back of the porch. ‘Evil things do not come into this valley; but all the same we should not name them. The Lord of the Ring is not Frodo, but the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor, whose power is again stretching out over the world! We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is getting dark.’

So that’s my theory busted right off the bat! Gandalf straight up tells us the Lord of the Ring is Sauron (‘the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor’ which is Sauron).

But I already told you, this is a hair-splitting semantics-based theory! He said Sauron was the Lord of the Ring. Not the Lord of the RingS. Yes, this whole theory revolves around a single letter difference between the title of the series and Gandalf’s statement, WHAT OF IT?

But in all seriousness. Tolkien was a linguist. There was no way this choice was not deliberate, not on something so important to the narrative. And there is a very important difference between what he is referring to when he uses ‘The Ring” singular, and “The Rings” plural. The Ring that Frodo carried to Mordor has it’s singular nature highly emphasized by the language that surrounds it. THE definite article Ring, the ONE Ring. Just the One. Singular Singular Singular.

The Rings (plural) refers to the rings of power which Celebrimbor wrought, with Sauron’s help, but Sauron is objectively not the Lord of those rings. Not the three Elven ones at least, which he never touched and only suspects the location of. Without his One Ring he has no power over the Three, and a big problem with him regaining his Ring is that he would gain power over those rings, the ringbearers, and the safe realms that had been wrought with them, basically crippling those with the power to resist him.

Him NOT having the Ring, and therefore NOT having lordship over all the rings, is a pretty major plot point. Like, it’s not a reach to say Sauron not having the Ring is what drives the entire story. And he is NOT the Lord of the Rings without it.

And he never gains it, so is the whole series named after Sauron’s aspirations, that the main characters are trying to prevent? I mean, from an angle yes. But also no.

Because while Pippin and Gandalf’s exchange is the closest we come in the text to seeing the title, let me show you the only place within the covers that “The Lord of the Rings” is presented, at least in my beat up third hand 70’s edition. It may not be formatted like this in other editions, but I still think it says something about how we are supposed to read the title:

[Image ID: Masking tape can clearly be seen holding together my poor abused copy of Fellowship, open to the title page. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is written across the top of the page in all caps, directly below it is the Ring Poem, as if The Lord of the Rings is a the title not only of the series but of the poem. /.End ID]

The One Ring is the Lord of the Rings, not Sauron, who is the Lord of the Ring.

“What?” Say imaginary naysayers in my head, “How can a Ring be a Lord? And why does this matter, if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, doesn’t that make him the Lord of the Rings by proxy? Why are you wasting your and my time making an argument about this?”

I’m glad you asked imaginary naysayer, let me speak to your first point. How can a ring be a Lord? Well, like any good first time speechwriter, I’ve turned to Miriam Webster, and asked it to define a word we already know, in this case ‘lord.’

[Image ID: Screenshot of the Miriam Webster definition of ‘lord.’ The ones that are relevant are 1: One having power and authority over others. 1a: A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due. And 1f: One that has achieved mastery or that exercises leadership or great power in some area /.End ID]

In the poem, it is the Ring that is spoken of as ruling, not Sauron. Sauron is actually listed in the same position as all the others who receive rings, “The Dark Lord on his Dark Throne” occupying the same place in the sentence structure as the “the Elven-kings under the sky” and “the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone” and “Mortal Men doomed to die.” It is the One Ring, not Sauron, who rules them all, fulfilling our first definition “A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence.” In this case it would be by right of preeminence, or superiority. The One Ring outclasses the other rings and thus dominates them, binding them to obedience and service. Gandalf calls it “the Master-Ring” when it is first revealed for what it is in Bag-End with the words appearing from the flame.

The Ring has it’s own will too. It’s repeatedly stated to be in control of Gollum when Gandalf is first telling us about it. I’m literally so spoiled for quotes about this that I was paralyzed with indecisiveness over what to use but let’s keep it simple with this one. It’s from Gandalf explaining why Gollum didn’t have the Ring allowing Bilbo to come upon it in the chapter “Shadows of the Past” from Fellowship:

‘It was not Gollum, Frodo, but the Ring itself that decided things. The Ring left him.’

So if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, and the Ring is the Lord of the Rings, isn’t he Lord of the Rings by proxy? Yes, when he has the Ring. But also being the ruler of a lord doesn’t make the title of that lord your title, if that makes sense. People don’t call Aragorn the Prince of Ithilien, that’s Faramir’s title, Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdoms, he rules Ithilien, sure, but by proxy. Ithilien reports to Faramir who reports to Aragorn (I should be calling him Elessar since I’m talking about him as king, but whatever). If Aragorn lost the ability to contact Faramir or Ithilian, he would still theoretically be king there but he would have no practical control, just like Sauron with the Rings of Power.

Why does this matter? It mostly doesn’t. It does not change anything practically in the story at all.

But it matters to me, because it might help change perspective on the antagonist of LotR. It’s the Ring. Sauron is a force in the world, one the Ring is closely allied with, and from whom many of the obstacles come, but the entity that our protagonist is really fighting on every page is the Ring.

If Gandalf were the main character, or Aragorn, or almost anyone else on Middle Earth, Sauron would be the Primary Antagonist. But they are not. Frodo is the Primary Protagonist, and his struggle is NOT against Sauron, it is against the Ring.

If destroying the Ring had not destroyed Sauron, would Frodo have kept fighting in this war? NO! He had his task, and once it was done he was done, even if the world ended afterwards. Everything is driven by the Ring. The threat to the Shire comes from the presence of the Ring, so Frodo takes the Ring to Rivendell. The danger of the Ring is not neutralized by it being brought to Rivendell, so he continues his journey to destroy it once and for all. He doesn’t fight Sauron, he fights the Ring. He fights with himself to keep going in spite of the despair it levels on him, the poisonous words it whispers in his ear, the physical toll it takes on his body. He fights Boromir and Sam (not to the extent he does in the movie, but still a bit) and Gollum over the Ring. He negotiates with Faramir over the Ring.

And the Ring is SUCH a more interesting and nuanced villain to struggle with than Sauron. Sauron is representative of a force in the world. He controls events but never appears, because he acts as the source of all evil, it’s representation on earth (at least now Melkor is in the Void), but it is far more interesting to watch the effect he has on others than deal directly with a character that is so obviously in the wrong in every way. Making Sauron a physical character in LotR is like making the Devil a present character in basically any piece of media that deals with evil.

Evil at its purest isn’t that interesting, because it contains no conflict. Leaving Sauron as an offscreen player leaves us to see characters that are not pure evil struggle with that conflict.

The fascinating thing about the Ring is that it has no power outside of what you give it. But given enough time even the best people, like Frodo, will end up losing themselves to it, as it whispers in your ear with your own voice.

I want to go ballistic when people point to LotR and say it has a one dimensional villain. EVERYONE’S OWN VIOLENCE, DESPAIR AND THIRST FOR POWER IS THE VILLAIN OF LORD OF THE RINGS! Brought to the fore by a small unassuming golden trinket which just happens to also be the titular Lord of the Rings.

Honestly “The Ring is the Villain of LotR change my mind” should be its own big long post with lots of quotes and shit, the fact that the Ring is The Lord of the Rings just being a small point in it.

But unless you are a specific type of interested in story structure and stuff none of this is at all meaningful and it really, really doesn’t matter, so I’m gonna go.

Thanks for coming with me on this dumb journey.

#tolkien #jirt #lotr #lord of the rings #the one ring #Sauron #jrr tolkien #Frodo #story structure #long post… even for me! #hot take #Gandalf #look #I’m sorry ok #this is so inconsequential and I say this as someone who likes meta

[jennifer-jeong]

[Smut] [Xiao x AFAB!Reader] Your First Time

CONTENT

NSFW, 18+, smut, afab reader (assigned female at birth), no reader pronouns mentioned, virgin Xiao and reader, kisses, handjob, oral, penetration, creampie, Xiao being mildly rough with you but mostly as gentle as possible, CHARACTERS ARE 18+

AUTHOR NOTES

Kinda porn no plot but this should tie into a storyline that I have. Xiao falls for you like he does in this fic that I wrote but there’s some more development before the events in this fic should happen. I might eventually write something short and fluffy about it. Note that in canon Genshin they probably don’t have “boxers” in the modern sense LMAO I just didn’t know how to say “undergarments” without saying “undergarments” LMAOOO

Word Count: 2713

Your first time with Xiao is almost feverish with how much your bodies need each other. You’ve been together for a while now but have taken a long time to get comfortable with each other's touch, Xiao especially. He’s always been scared of hurting you and he’s also just never really understood what it’s like to need to be touched.

You lead him into it after noticing that he’s been struggling with his body’s urges after learning more about humans and how they love. While on a date in the city, he asked you why he sees some couples look at each other intoxicated when they haven’t drunk any alcohol. You answered that humans feel that way when they need each other's bodies. You swear you see a question mark appear above Xiao’s head. “Like… without their clothes on,” you explain further. More question marks seem to appear. “We’ll learn about that eventually, darling,” you reassure him. “You don’t have to understand it right away, it’s something that couples discover together,” You smile warmly at him and he does the same back.

Xiao’s mind may have been confused at the time but after seeing how other couples look at their partners, his body activated in a way he’s never experienced before. He looked at you in your pretty dress, thought about you with it off, and immediately understood.

So here you are, pinning Xiao to the bed and straddling his hips. Your lips are attached to his as his face is flushed a deep red. You have your left elbow propping you up and your right hand caressing his cheek, occasionally slipping into his hair to brush through it. Xiao doesn’t know what to do with his hands or if he’s allowed to touch you so he lightly holds onto your left bicep. His other hand falls, palm up, next to his shoulder. He fidgets with the pillow as he processes the wonderful feeling of your lips against his. You’ve kissed before but it’s never been as heated as this. It’s almost too much for him already, your hands in his hair, your tongue finally slipping into his mouth cautiously so as not to spook him, your hips on his, the smell of your perfume on your neck, and the warmth from your body radiating onto his. Xiao is already painfully hard from this alone and upon noticing, you grind your needy core into his. He lets out a moan into your mouth and surprises himself. His voice came out entirely automatically, like he couldn’t hold himself back when you finally stimulated him. He wasn’t sure how to comprehend what happened, all he knew was that he wanted more.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. But you trusted Xiao so much and you knew he felt the same way. You felt okay leading him because even though he was having trouble getting the words out, his body did the talking for him, and you could tell it wanted you as much as yours wanted him. You still took precaution multiple times though, asking him if this was okay before leading him to your bed, before laying him down, and before kissing him. He wished there was a better word for him to say than “yes” to explain how much he wanted this but it was all he could manage right now.

You break the kiss to smear your lips on his neck, pecking and asking him if he feels good, breathing in his sweet and lightly musky scent. His hands both reach towards the pillow to grip it as he moans a breathy “yes… thank you.” Your hands sneak up the bottom of his tight shirt to feel his solid muscle and his breath hitches. “You don’t need to thank me, darling” you whisper into his neck. Your hands retract slightly to start to take off his pants. “Is it okay if I take these off?” you say while sitting up slightly. He nods and helps you take them off. You leave his boxers on to help ease him into getting comfortable. You return to straddling him and palm him through the thin layer of fabric and he’s so sensitive he doesn’t know what to do. He moans and his breath quickens. You feel how big he is with your hand and it makes your core clench around nothing. The desire in your core building, turning almost unbearable and burning as you soak through your panties. As you continue, Xiao covers his eyes with his arm as if he didn’t want you to see him like this. You take in how pretty he looks as well as how muscular he actually is. He’s lean but also very toned, his abs evidently solid and chiseled as well as his upper body. You crawl up a little to peck his lips to try and comfort him and explain that since it’s a first for both of you, you’re also flustered. He moves his arm away from his face as you place one of his hands on your waist and the other on your chest. He isn’t sure what to do so you squeeze his hand on top of your chest. He understands and starts to knead your tits while you touch him through his boxers. You start to breathe heavily with him, enjoying the stimulation. Xiao reaches his other hand up, massaging both your tits at the same time, his cock twitching in your hand as he does so. He loves how soft they are, he wonders what they look like uncovered. As if you were reading his mind, you take your dress off to give him more access. You unclip your bra and slowly slide off the straps from your shoulders, holding the cups to your chest still, slightly shy to show him. You’re still straddling him and so he brushes his hands on your thighs to comfort you, and sits up, leaning against the backboard of the bed. “You look so beautiful” he says while looking into your eyes. Xiao might not be experienced with intimacy but he is experienced with you and your emotions, he’s an expert at reading you and comforting you, you love that about him. He puts his hands over yours and rubs the back of your hands with his thumbs, pulling you close to kiss the top of your breasts. It makes you hold your breath. As you breathe out after a pause, you lower your hands and remove your bra. Xiao’s eyes dart back and forth between your face and your chest as he takes it all in. He slides his hands up the sides of your body to grab your tits again. His movements tell you he’s getting more confident.

He ghosts his thumbs over your nipples as you reach down to continue to pleasure him. His hips buck into your touch. As he receives more and more stimulation, his mind gets hazy with lust, his anxiety slowly melting away. He takes one of your nipples in his mouth and you moan. He sucks gently and runs his tongue around the already hardened bud. You take this as a sign to also move further, so you pull his cock out of its fabric restraints to pump it properly with your hand. He moans from the extra contact and his movements falter for a moment. He looks up at you with lidded eyes and you swear you see hearts in each other's eyes. The room feels like it’s burning up and you both love it.

Not soon after, all of your clothes have been tossed to the floor and you’re closing your mouth around Xiao’s leaky tip while he lays down. He’s already a mess because you’ve been licking stripes from the base to the tip for the past minute. You swirl your tongue around him as he can’t help but tug your hair with the hand that he tangled into it. You tease him a little longer before fully deepthroating him. He throws his head back with a moan and bucks into your mouth because he’s so sensitive and can barely control himself. His legs get shaky as you start to bob your head up and down. You move one hand to massage your slick covered clit, unable to ignore the aching need for stimulation any longer and sending vibrations through his body as you moan on his dick. Your other hand reaches to massage his balls and he literally feels like he’s going to die because of how good it all feels. You don’t want to push him too close to the edge yet so you soon pull back. Making sure to leave him well lubricated.

Xiao is already a bit fucked out and doesn’t know what’s happening but he snaps back as he feels your folds on him. You’re hovering above him, angling his dick to your entrance, sticky with arousal. “Mmph- wait, i-is this okay?” Xiao quickly asks as you rub him on your folds. “It’s more than okay, love… I- mmm… need you in me right now,” you slur to him as his tip rubs your clit. Xiao is beyond flustered at your boldness but he still manages to reply, “mmm- t-that sounds so good, darling.” You smile at him and lean down to kiss him before easing your hips down as he bottoms out in you. You both moan in unison as your pussy clenches and his dick twitches. It feels so good it makes your chest tighten. He stretches you out so good and you need a second to get used to his size. He fills you up to your cervix and his girth gives you just the right amount of delicious pressure and pain as you adjust. The ribbed texture of your insides making Xiao dizzy and the veins on his cock making you lightheaded. You lean on his chest to catch your breath and moan into his ear “y’fill me up so good darling.” “F-fuck, it feels s-so good… Your body… You feel so good,” he stutters out to you while digging his nails into your hips trying to control himself. You clench at his words and it drives him crazy. It’s taking so much to not start fucking into you right now. He knows he needs to wait for you to give him the go ahead, but as the night draws on, he’s been getting more needy, more desperate. Your velvety walls sucking him in so nicely, continuously pulling him in deeper. These new sensations are awakening his instincts and it’s so much at once. He loves you so much and knows you feel the same. He can barely get any words out as he’s getting so feral for you.

The moon illuminates your bodies ever so slightly as a warm breeze brushes over your scorching bodies. The only sound other than leaves rustling is your shared panting. The room feels like a sauna and it feels like an eternity before you next speak. Xiao hears nothing but your voice when you look at him with doe eyes and finally say “Xiao… please fuck me.” His pupils seemingly dilate as all rationality disappears. He pulls all the way out and slams back into you, already setting a fast pace. He hugs your waist tight, your chests flush against each other as you rest your arms around his head, pulling at his hair with one hand as he savors the delicious, dull pain. You’re both moaning messes, your hearts beating fast in unison. He continues to pound into you until his legs are burning. You notice his fatigue and decide to tell him to relax as you sit up. He moans at the sight of your naked chest and how your arousal is mixing with his, creating sticky strings on your thighs and where you’re connected. You start to grind on him, feeling him rub at the spongy part inside of you. You tell him to aim for this spot as you point above your core. He nods and breathes out a shaky sigh as he feels his pleasure building. You start to bounce on him with your hands on his chest as his hands find your hips. He loves how your tits bounce while you ride him like this. Your moans sound so heavenly to him and it makes his grip on your waist turn bruising. Your hands on his chest move up to cage his head as you get tired and he understands to start fucking up into you again. His hands find your ass and you moan out a “yes” as he experimentally squeezes it. He fucks you as his hands grip the upper plush of your ass. A few thrusts later and you sob out louder than before and he knows he’s found your spot. Your moans get louder and higher in pitch as he concentrates on fucking you so good you see stars. You’ve been making him feel so good and safe all night and now it’s his turn to lead. You reach a hand down to rub at your clit. “Xiao- mm, I’m g-getting close.” He’s breathing hard and isn’t extremely familiar with this feeling but replies in a breathy voice “m-me too.”

“Please keep going… Ahh- just like that mmmmphh,” you say as your eyes squeeze shut. “Cum with me~ please…” you moan. It feels overwhelming as your core tightens and your body gets even more sensitive to everything. The drag of him along your gummy walls, his hands on your body, the sound of your wet skin slapping together, the repeated stimulation of both your clit and your g-spot. Your orgasm hits hard and sudden as waves of pleasure quickly start to rack your body before you can even tell him you’re cumming. You let out a high pitched sob that quickly becomes uncontrollable moans due to how good it feels. Your walls clench unbelievably tightly around him as he feels your body shake. The squeeze, your moans, your body’s reactions to him, and the fact that he’s making you cum sent him tumbling over the edge with you. His thrusts become irregular as he releases in you, still pounding into you as he experiences waves of bliss. He’s never felt such intense pleasure before and his deep moans are accompanied by whimpers from how good it feels. He whispers praises as he starts to get overstimulated, “so pretty fr’me… love you s’much mmm.” You ride out your orgasms together and you eventually slump against his chest, breathing hard.

You’re both exhausted now and you stay like this for a minute or two to catch your breaths. “Are you okay?” Xiao asks quickly as he comes back to his senses. He’s worried he was too rough with you, especially towards the end. “I’m more than okay, love, don’t worry. That was amazing,” you reply with a sultry voice and a smile. Xiao looks down at you and sighs, he smiles back and agrees “that was pretty amazing… I love you.” “I love you too, darling. I’m glad you had a good time too,” you say, sitting up slightly. You lift you hips to pull him out of you as your mixed fluids flow out of you. Xiao thinks it’s insanely hot. He holds you up and lays you down beside him as he grabs a nearby towel to quickly wipe his abs before the liquids drip onto the sheets. He then gets up to get you a clean towel and wipes you down before helping you to the washroom. He offers you water and leaves another clean towel nearby the bed. You’re already curled up in bed and falling asleep by the time he finishes washing up and climbs into bed.

“Love you s’much” you slur out to him. His heart aches from how much he loves you and he kisses your forehead and tells you he loves you too. You fall asleep with your fists pressed between your chests while he cradles under your head with one arm and holds your waist with the other. Both of you smiling as you drift into sleep together under the moon, resting after the first of many nights like this to come.

Thanks for reading!

|| MASTERLIST <3 ||

#smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #reader x xiao #xiao smut #xiao #j's silly ramblings

[indierpgnewsletter]

There's Other Kinds Of GM Advice: Theatricality versus Transparency

(This first appeared on the Indie RPG Newsletter)

I find that broadly there are at least two kinds of GM advice – and they have a very different philosophy underpinning them.

The first kind of advice aims at all costs to maintain verisimilitude. It’s a solution that you can implement without breaking the players’ immersion in their characters. This can just be stuff like Matt Colville explaining that if your players are taking too long discussing plans, guess what, orcs attack! We’ve all probably played a game where people were going in circles and not able to decide what to do. If it looks like we’re not able to decide, we’re probably going to be relieved if the GM makes something happen to break the deadlock and prompt us back into the action.

(Historically, this kind of thing was taken to egregious lengths like Gary Gygax saying if players start acting uppity, have a rock fall on their head. It’s mostly gone now but reddit tells me that Cyberpunk Red which came out relatively recently still says something similar.)

The second flavor of advice involves breaking character and talking to your players directly. I know “talk to your players” is a mantra repeated so often that autocorrect suggests it as soon as you type the letter t. At its worst, this advice is vague and unhelpful. We’ve all considered talking frankly to people in our lives, we just find it awkward and hard and annoying. But, but, but – at its best, just describing the problem as you see it and escalating it from a character discussion to a player discussion will make it go away instantly. Like magic. (If you’re not sure what that means: In a previous issue, I discussed Jason Tocci’s excellent advice on escalating conversation in this way.)

And since the theatrical flavour of advice has the weight of history on its side and transparent advice keeps getting boiled down to mantra form, I thought I’d write down some examples of situations and some alternative ways to handle them:

Situation 1: The players are marines discussing whether to dive into the alien lair and recover their stolen engine (their main goal) or go and see if another missing team of marines is okay. There is only 45 minutes left and this is a one shot.

Theatrical: The other marines suddenly come on the radio and say, “hey we’re okay, please complete the mission.”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. There’s 45 minutes left. If we don’t do the alien lair now, we won’t be able to do it at all. Is that fine?”

Situation 2: The players are low-level fantasy nobodies who have a famous wizard friend. They’re about to tangle with some medium-level bad guy and decide to call in their wizard friend.

Theatrical: When the players try to contact her via a telepathic phone call / spell, she sounds breathless and says she’s busy doing something way more important like fighting a dragon.

Transparent: “Hey, folks. If we get the wizard in, she’ll absolutely make this fight a cakewalk. We won’t even need to roll initiative really. Is that what you want? Or would we rather have a fun fight?”

Situation 3: The players were having fun exploring when they meet a cool NPC (an android! an elf! an android elf!) who has this interesting backstory with an urgent, earth-shattering hook. They go along with the android elf because it seems more important but immediately look like they’re having less fun.

Theatrical: Narrate how the android elf meets a group of other android elves and have the elf say, “Hey, now that I have these folks helping me, you can leave it you want!”

Transparent: “Hey, folks. Talking to you as players here, do we want to stick with this whole android elf plot here? It does mean that we won’t do any open-ended exploration. Which would you prefer?” If they want to ditch the elf plot, you could just retcon it entirely or do the theatrical solution.

All of these situations have happened at my table. They’re all relatively low stakes and I think whichever way you handle it, it’ll probably be fine. But that said, some situations absolutely work better when done transparently so if you’ve never tried the transparent way, give it a shot. If immersion matters a lot to you, try it at the end of the session.

/End

PS. The theatrical options often still require the players to willingly suspend their disbelief and go with it. If a player didn’t play along, they might just say “I thought their radios weren’t working, otherwise we could’ve just contacted them before. Why can they suddenly contact us now?” or “Oh, the wizard is fighting a dragon right now. We can totally wait. There’s no reason we need to fight the bad guy right now.” And sometimes I can’t shut off that part of my brain either so I won’t judge. But if there’s a way to sidestep that situation even coming up, I’m going to take it every time.

#indie rpg #ttrpg #ttrpg community #ttrpg design #rpg #ttrpgsolidarity #game design

[joelsgoldrush]

swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that

joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words

summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.

warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)

a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me &lt;///3

here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)

"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."

What is it that he has?

You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.

Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.

He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by. 

Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night. 

You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.

He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had  heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–

Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on? 

He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.

Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.

That night, you dreamt with Joel.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.

There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities. 

And boy, you loved Ellie.

It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.

“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”

She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”

The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”

“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.

“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.” 

You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”

An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.

Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.

Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”

He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”

That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.

“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”

His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?” 

Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”

“Can I see what you’re–”

“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door. 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not done.”

“But–”

“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.

Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing. 

Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.

At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.

Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.

He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.

That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.

“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”

He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”

“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”

Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.

“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about. 

“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“

He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”

To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you. 

After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?” 

“Hey.”

You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”

Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”

At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”

No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”

“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”

“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”

You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”

“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”

But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.

The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”

Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”

It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”

“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”

The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”

“One more time.”

“Joel–”

“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”

You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around? 

Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.

Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.

“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”

“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”

You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”

“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”

“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.

“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”

Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?

“So, you would advise me to just…”

“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”

That raspy sweetheart made you give in.

His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame. 

You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames. 

“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket. 

He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”

Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp. 

“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.

“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”

Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”

“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”

It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.

You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.

“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”

He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you. 

But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”

“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room. 

Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”

“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”

“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”

“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”

He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.

“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”

“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”

Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.

At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.

“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.” 

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick. 

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“But you will.”

A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.

“Joel–“

“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”

You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.

Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.  

Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.

Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.

“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.

“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”

It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room. 

“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse. 

His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”

Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.

It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”

Please say yes.

“Only if you want me to.”

Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #the last of us hbo #joel x reader #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x you #Spotify #tlou series #joel x y/n #joel x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal joel miller #joel smut #tlou fic #tlou hbo #tlou joel #joel miller x y/n #joel miller pedro pascal #the last of us joel #pedro pascal the last of us #pedro pascal fic #joel miller story #joelmiller #joel x female reader #joel x f!reader

[houseoflibra-if]

"House of Libra? It's best not to talk about them, lest you wish to end up silenced like how they once were."

House of Libra.

Once the peacekeepers of the kingdom, now reduced to nothing but a lost tale. They were well respected by many for maintaining the balance of the lands, yet betrayed by those who wished for too much.

However, without House Libra keeping the balance alive, the world succumbs to the ire of the Zodiac Aura. A powerful dose of magic pulses through the lands, mutating anyone without protection. But protection can only last so long, and it's only a matter of time before the Aura consumes the lands whole.

Your family remains as one of the only branches of House Libra left alive. Due to the natural essence of your house, your family is less affected by the Zodiac Aura. No matter, as House Libra grows smaller, the world continues to eat itself alive.

It's up to you to restore the peace in the lands, for you were born under the Equinox sky.

"Never forget my words, little star. This House may have fallen, yes, but we will rise again."

House of Libra: Resurgemus is an upcoming interactive fiction inspired by the zodiac signs. You will have the freedom to explore the story and its characters with depth, so questions and various asks are greatly encouraged! This series will be 16+ (TBC), on Twine.

Features:

Play as a male, female or non-binary person. Have the freedom to choose your appearance based on what you like.(Please take note that I am a new writer, as such I do not have much experience with writing non-binary characters/pronouns. Please bear with me!)

Shape your character and personality, should you be kind, cold or a sassy boss, the choice is yours.

Build relationships- or break them if you wish. The choice is yours, but your actions will have consequences.

Have a say in the way your back story is woven. Choose your desired trauma that will affect certain plots of the story.

Choices matter. Your actions and words will influence the ending you achieve, so be wise with how you wish to shape your story.

Romance ranges between the 4 given options, shower them with your own type of affection for they will adore you nonetheless. Or you could lead them to their deaths. Woopsie.

Choose your relationship with your family. Are you a loving family? Or do you constantly need family therapy? Choose their fates as well (but don't kill all of them, that's kinda mean.)

Gain new skills and various powers that will aid you in your journey. But be warned, will they great power comes great responsibility. And a greater chance of messing things up.

Various endings will (hopefully) be available based on your choices.

This IF will be more focused on interactions and choices compared to stats. I don't think I plan on having stats. Maybe a sanity bar, but I'll see how well the coding goes.

Romance Options

Avira/Aurelius Lozenges, [RO]

Age: 26

The eldest child of House Leo, Avira/Aurelius is the epitome of the zodiac's charms. Charismatic, ambitious and loyal to a fault, there's no wonder why they're called by the admirable title of House Leo's Golden Lion. They are expected to take over the ruling throne once their father retires.

Although, with every envied perfect child comes a chamber of secrets, and they are no different. Guarded eye(s) and tense shoulders, they seem constantly restless under judgmental gazes of everyone in the kingdom.

Perhaps, you may be able to give them the freedom they long for. After all, a lion in a castle is still a caged lion.

Romance trope:

Love at first fight

Tame a wounded beast

Cocky/Arrogant -> Soft/Sweet

Castora/Castor Dioscuri, [RO]

Age: 24

The renowned child of House Gemini, they are known for their sharp mouth and playful personality. Castora/Castor remains as the number one It Girl/Guy of the kingdom as they're not only captivating in nature, but they too posses a brilliant mind like no other. Having them on your side would be quite advantageous, no?

There's something off putting about them though, as the House of Gemini have always borne children that are twins no matter how different. Yet, Castora/Castor remains as the only member of House Gemini to be born alone.

Will you dig deeper into their depths? Or will you drown in their eyes, just like everyone else? With them, you are never alone.

Romance tropes:

Slow burn

Frenemies -> lovers

Closed off heart that's waiting to be loved

Esme/Esmeray von Aquaria, [RO]

Age: 28

Some people call them cursed.

And to others, they were simply unlucky as a child for straying too far.

Esme/Esmeray is a child of House Aquarius, yet they couldn't despise it enough. Known for being one if the most influential houses due to their unyielding intelligence, a child of House Aquarius must be perfect in the eyes of others.

Yet Esme/Esmeray is the exact opposite of that. Cursed by the effects of Zodiac Aura when they were younger, they carry the mark of the Waxing Moon. This affected their life despite protection given, and they will not rest until they slay the beast that hurt them so.

They have a cold and distant personality, paired with one of the brightest minds in the kingdom only to be rivaled by the child of House Gemini. Will you be the one to thaw this icy heart? Or will you suffocate in the depths of Aquaria?

Romance trope:

Grumpy/sunshine

Cold -> absolute simp

Heated arguments and soft confessions

Nyoka Constello, [RO]

Age: same as player character

The forgotten children of the banished zodiac. Nobody remembers how this House used to flourish as they are now called the Followers of Ophiuchus. Scorned by the lands and cursed by the stars, the last surviving followers live in hiding. Now, they are nothing but tales woven in time.

Well, that's for everyone else. Nyoka just so happens to be your childhood friend, having been born under the same moon and stars aligned. They used to be docile and caring, but times have changed and so have they. Don't fret, little star, for they still have a soft spot for you.

They have an unusual appearance, with a long and sturdy sea-snake tail paired with sharp semi-curved horns. Their dark eyes seem to pull you in, rivaling the stars above.

But the mutation is spreading, and they've no clue how much time they have left. Save them, if you must. Or watch the one you once loved die.

Romance trope:

Angst. Just angst. And maybe fluff.

Childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers

"Perhaps we were soulmates in another life."

Here are some things you need to know:

I am a new writer (this is my first interactive fiction project.) so not everything will be smooth sailing.

I estimate the demo to come out mid this year, but personal matters may change some things.

This is my passion project. Please don't expect me to dedicate all my time onto this as I have a life as well.

I'm very new to coding, so learning twine will take a while. I'll have to do a few test runs before releasing the demo.

I adore feedback and asks about the game. It helps me improve as a writer while getting to build my characters more.

I want to have fun with everyone, so hateful criticism will not be tolerated. Treat me with respect and I will return the gesture.

That's all for now (I think). Have fun reading!

Demo (TBA) || Character Post (TBA) || World building (TBA)

Credits to Doshiart on picrew for the character portraits!

#twine if #twine #twine game #interactive fiction #romance #fantasy #ro #House of Libra:Resurgemus #HOLR #upcoming #interactive novel #interactive game #wip #if

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

One Call Away (M)

Part Seven of the Pathetic series

Tags: 20k words, dub con for safety reasons, Porn with Plot, frat boy!Jeonghan, college student!y/n, best friend!Jeongyeon, soft!dom to hard!dom Jeonghan, mean!Jeonghan (and y/n loves it), submissive!y/n, female!y/n (sorry), impact play, masochist!y/n, sadist!Jeonghan, lowkey the slow-burniest part, appearances from everyone's least favorite, side-character heaven

Summary:

After Jeonghan’s confession, y/n struggles to figure out how she feels

-

You didn’t end up sleeping. Not because you were uncomfortable but because you were fighting your thoughts all night. You wanted to be sure of how you felt before you did anything but at the same time all you wanted to do was lay on Jeonghan’s chest. Hear him breathing.

You wanted to know what it was like to be intimate with him in that kind of way. Something that you knew he wanted with you. You just weren’t sure if you really felt the same way or if your simple sexual attraction to him and the intense nature of your twos’ relationship made you think you wanted him in that way.

You didn’t want to just leave Jeonghan but when you heard the other boys moving around outside Jeonghan’s door you felt like it was better than waiting for him to wake up and for him to realize that you hadn’t slept at all that night.

You changed into a different set of clothes and wondered exactly how you would be able to sneak out. However, the minute you stepped into the hallway your plans were dashed. Seungcheol was leaning against the wall. He looked up at you from beneath his bangs, raising an eyebrow in your direction.

“Well?”

You pressed your lips together, and quietly closed the door behind you.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “How did you know I would be up?”

“I didn’t,” Seungcheol admitted, a smile flickering across his face as if you two were sharing some kind of secret. “Is Jeonghan still sleeping?”

You nodded.

“What did he tell you?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you,” you said. “It’s kind of… Personal.”

Seungcheol looked confused, and you could tell he wanted to prod more but after a few seconds of clear torment he seemed to let it go.

“Mingyu already knows you’re still here,” he said softly. “You’re not going to be able to get out easily.”

Your eyes fell to the ground, and you muttered a soft curse.

“Is there a window I can climb out of?”

It was a joke. Seungcheol laughed.

“Are you really going to leave Jeonghan without saying goodbye?”

“I don’t want to hurt him,” you said softly. “But… I have a lot of thinking to do. I can’t really…” You were saying too much. You didn’t think that Seungcheol knew how Jeonghan felt about you. “You should really talk to him yourself.”

“You have to stay for breakfast,” Seungcheol said with a shrug. “Everyone knows you’re here. You really going to risk hurting Mingyu’s feelings?”

It hadn’t occurred to you that leaving in the morning without a word would hurt more than just Jeonghan’s feelings, but now that Seungcheol mentioned it you knew he was right. God, you hated that he was right.

You could barely handle the idea of hurting Jeonghan’s feelings right now. He had been so vulnerable with you… You didn’t want him to never open up to someone ever again because of how you reacted in this situation. And you definitely didn’t want to hurt the feelings of thirteen men.

You quirked your head to the side, insinuating to Seungcheol that if he led you would follow. The moment that you stepped into the kitchen; half of the boys let out excited exclamations.

“Y/n is back!” Mingyu said excitedly. “Jeonghan has been such a dick without you around.”

You rolled your eyes at the sentiment, thinking it was odd that they were so excited to see you, when Seokmin added: “I don’t know what’s worse. Hearing you two go at it at night or having Jeonghan yell at us about the littlest things.”

“I think the latter is worse,” Jun said, a smile crossing his face. To his credit he looked genuinely surprised to see you. You supposed you hadn’t seen him at all last night. “Mingyu was over the moon at the fact you were going to be here.���

“I made porridge,” Mingyu said excitedly. He put a bowl in front of you. “Have you ever had it before?”

You laughed and shook your head. You picked up a spoon and as you went to try the food Mingyu sat down next to you, his eyes wide as he watched you.

You laughed aagain nd took a bite.

You let a dramatic pause fill the room, making sure to keep your face neutral. You could tell that it was driving him crazy to see what you were going to say.

After a minute, you smiled.

“Of course, it’s amazing.”

You wondered if this was what it was usually like for the boys of Alpha Mu. Did they get really attached to the partners one another had the way they seemed to have gotten attached to you? Even Seokmin who was clearly annoyed to have to deal with the sound of you and Jeonghan at night seemed to enjoy your company.

You wondered if any of them had stayed friends with partners after break ups.

Still, you tried not to think about it too much. You wanted to focus on less stressful things.

“There is sleeping beauty!” Minghao said, a smile crossing his lips. You looked over your shoulder to find Jeonghan standing there. His hair was messy, his eyes still a little red and puffy from sleeping. He looked annoyed, but then his eyes flickered to you and the annoyance dissipated.

Fuck, why did that just make you feel even more conflicted?

“Why do you always sleep so late?” Joshua chided. “You always make y/n come down alone.”

Jeonghan looked away from you and shrugged.

“She doesn’t mind. She’s always been good at waiting for me.”

He had said it before, but this time it felt different. You patted the spot next to you for Jeonghan to sit down.

“I do have to go soon,” you admitted. You didn’t say what you should. I waited because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. But I don’t know my feelings yet. “But how can I say no to a Mingyu breakfast?”

Despite the fact you didn’t say it out loud, you had a feeling that Jeonghan could hear your thoughts. His expression dropped a little, for just a second, but you noticed. A smile crossed his lips immediately after and if you didn’t know any better you would say that he was completely fine.

You looked at Seungcheol, who pressed his lips together tightly and glanced to the side. You got the gist. You turned your eyes back to Jeonghan.

“No one would say no to a Mingyu breakfast,” Jeonghan agreed.

Breakfast wasn’t awkward but it was frustrating. You shouldn’t want it, but you really wanted Jeonghan to touch you as if he hadn’t confessed his love to you and you hadn’t not given him an answer back.

You didn’t want to admit it out loud, but you loved the way that he always had his hands on you when you two were together. Before you had thought he was just touchy, but thinking back on it you were realizing that it was actually the way he had been showing you that all his attention was on you even when it seemed like it wasn’t.

You wanted to be mad that he had thought he needed to dangle other people in your face to get your attention but thinking about it now you really hadn’t ever given him attention. You had constantly tried to leave before he woke up, never texted him or called him, never visited him where you knew he lived and only came when there was a party to crash.

No wonder he had been so desperate.

“I really should get going,” you insisted, ignoring the protests from all the boys. You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be around.”

Were you just saying that to make the others feel better or did you actually mean it?

You glanced at Jeonghan giving him a smile and a nod. Jeonghan gave you back that same convincing smile that he had been giving out all morning. You avoided eye contact with Seungcheol and started to head home.

-

When you walked into your apartment, you were surprised to find Jun and Jeongyeon waiting for you in the kitchen. You blinked, looking from Jun to the shoes that he had left at the entrance. Your mouth fell open a little.

“How did you…?” Your head fell to the side a little bit, the corner of your mouth turning up in confusion. “How did you get here before me?”

Jun waved off your confusion.

“Not important. What happened with Jeonghan?” He asked. “I thought you two weren’t talking? And then I heard you two last night-”

“How could you not tell me?” Jeongyeon blurted, a mostly exaggerated flash of hurt crossing her face. “What made you decide to start talking to Jeonghan again?”

“Well…” You trailed off as you kicked your shoes off your feet. “You know how Seungcheol came to see me? He convinced me to go to the party last night in disguise so I could see for myself that Jeonghan wasn’t sleeping with other people.”

“And?” Jeongyeon prodded. Both her and Jun were for some reason sitting on your kitchen counter and they both patted the space in between them simultaneously. You rolled your eyes but started over there.

“Well, I kind of sabotaged the plan by talking to Jeonghan and he figured out it was me,” you admitted. As soon as you had hopped up on the counter next to them, Jeongyeon hopped down. She went over to the freezer and pulled out three pint-sized cartons of ice cream. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion.

“When did you…?”

“I bought these when you and Jeonghan first stopped talking,” Jeongyeon explained, handing a carton to both you and Jun along with some spoons. “I know you and Jeonghan have always been kind of emotionally detached but I wanted to prepare for the worst.”

You pressed your lips together.

That was the real problem with all of this. That right there was the real reason that this situation required so much thinking. You had been emotionally detached from Jeonghan. You had done such a good job putting Jeonghan in the Just Sex box that now you were having trouble putting him in any other box.

“Oh god, what did Jeonghan say to you?” Jeongyeon asked after you had been silent for a few moments.

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” Jun speculated. “They did have sex last night and they seemed fine at breakfast this morning.”

“Jeonghan loves me.”

Silence fell between the two. You could feel them staring at you and it only made your mind race even faster. You groaned and buried your face in your hands, leaving the cold cartoon of ice cream pressed between your thighs.

“Well, he didn’t say that but he said that,” you continued. “He told me that he’s liked me since freshmen year. That I’m too good for him. That he is so crazy about me he couldn’t deal with me not being the same level of crazy for him.”’

“No, he didn’t,” Jun said, but it wasn’t that he didn’t believe you. It was in pure astonishment.

“He said: ‘When I say that I crave you, I mean it in a way you will never fully understand’.”

Jeongyeon squealed a little next to you, reaching across your lap to hit Jun on his thigh.

“I knew it,” she said excitedly. “I called this! I knew that Jeonghan had fallen for you!”

You looked up, giving Jeongyeon a strained look. She let out a nervous laugh.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But isn’t this a good thing?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted with a sigh. “Is it? I’m not in love with Jeonghan.”

“Maybe not,” Jeongyeon agreed. There was a long stretch of silence between the three of you. “But also… Maybe you are?”

Luckily it didn’t seem like you were the only one who thought that didn’t make sense.

“Huh?” Jun mumbled. Jeongyeon hummed, jumping off the counter to head over to the living room. You and Jun followed her in tow. Jeongyeon sat on the couch, Jun on the arm of the couch, and you on the floor.

“Like… You’re not in love with him. Of course not, because when boundaries are in front of you, you don’t cross them,” Jeongyeon started. As she spoke you took a spoonful of ice cream. To give Jeongyeon credit where it was due: She knew you the best out of anyone. How did she remember what your favorite ice cream flavor was? “But I mean… You did cross the boundary a little. Didn’t you?”

Maybe she didn’t know you as well as you thought.

“No, I didn’t-”

“That day you were telling me that Jeonghan was going to sleep with Chaedom and told you not to come over you went over, didn’t you?” She pressed. You fell silent. “Right. And why did you care so much anyways?”

“I didn’t care,” you mumbled. “It was just annoying… I don’t know- I really wanted him that day.”

“Gross,” Jun mumbled. You and Jeongyeon ignored him.

“But didn’t you wonder why?” Jeongyeon continued. “I mean, even after that you didn’t seem to want him as badly as you did then. Why did you want him so badly that day?”

Jeongyeon was raising some great questions, but before you could try to answer them, she was continuing.

“And don’t you think it’s weird that you do all these mundane things with him?” Jeongyeon asked. “Like you’ve had fuck buddies before. Small flings, whatever they didn’t mean anything.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. Jeongyeon’s eyes widened a little and she gestured towards you as if she was trying to make you realize something.

“They didn’t mean anything,” Jeongyeon emphasized. “You didn’t wait for them to wake up or eat breakfast with them. You definitely didn’t end up shopping with them, or staying the night when you two weren’t actively sleeping together.”

“That’s-” Such a good point. “Just because they weren’t persistent like Jeonghan is.”

“Y/n, open your eyes,” Jeongyeon insisted. “You don’t do things you don’t want to do.”

You hadn’t really known Jeonghan for very long at this point, but Jeongyeon’s persistence made you fall silent regardless. She was right. Of course, she was right.

You had been so focused on not liking Jeonghan that you had been ignoring the obvious signs that you did like him. Maybe not love- How could you be in love with Jeonghan so quickly after all, but you did really care for him didn’t you?

If it had been one of your old flings you wouldn’t be so hesitant to break their heart. It would have been easy for you to brush them off and tell them you didn’t feel that way. But you cared about Jeonghan’s feelings.

Fuck, how had you gotten here?

Jeonghan had been frustrated because you weren’t crazy about him the way he was you but weren’t you a little? You had been so jealous of Chaedom, and the only reason that you were so nonchalant about him sleeping with other people was because he had always returned to you. There had been no doubt in your mind that you meant more to him than everyone else at some point. Even if you didn’t think it was love.

Normally that should have been a red flag. You could easily find a different fuck buddy, but Jeonghan had made you feel special even while he was just a fling. Isn’t that what made it so different with him?

“How did this happen?” You asked softly. You groaned and buried your face in your hands. “I mean I know he loves me but Yoon Jeonghan? What if… I don’t know what if he gets bored?”

“I mean, I’m hardly the expert,” Jun interjected. “But isn’t that a fear when getting into any relationship?”

“Which is why I am not looking for a relationship!” You replied. “Because I don’t want those fears. What if he gets bored? What if we break up? What if he still wants to be with other people?”

“He already said that he doesn’t want to date other people. Remember? That was what started all of this in the first place.”

You pursed your lips. Fuck.

“What are your qualms with really being with Jeonghan?” Jun asked. “Like, really?”

“I already said,” you replied. “What if he gets bored of me or what if we don’t work out or-”

“Not in general, of specifically being with Jeonghan,” Jun interrupted. “Like what specific things about Jeonghan worry you? Do you not think that he will be nice to you?”

“What?” You blurted. “Of course, he would be nice to me. Jeonghan is always nice to me.”

“So, you just don’t think he’s ready for a relationship,” Jeongyeon joined in.

“No,” you disagreed again. “I think that Jeonghan has been wanting a relationship for a lot longer than he realizes.”

You shifted a little.

“Do you two not get along emotionally?” Jun prodded.

“Jeonghan can read me really well,” you replied with a shake of your head. “I think that we get along fine.”

“Then what?” Jeongyeon pressed. “What is the grand reason that you are worried that Jeonghan and you would be bad together?”

“Me,” you blurted. Jeongyeon and Jun shared matching wide eyed expressions. “It’s me, okay?”

You looked down into your lap unsurely.

“Jeonghan’s been in love with me since freshmen year,” you said. “That is years of looking at me and filling in the gaps of my personality that he didn’t know and that means that a large part of what he likes about me is just what he hopes I’m like.”

“That’s not-”

“And if that’s not even true what is true is that Jeonghan knows for sure that he is ready to date me. That’s why he admitted he liked me. But yesterday if you had asked me if I wanted to be in a relationship, I would have said no.”

“You’re overthinking it.”

“It’s unfair of me to date him when I’m not ready for a relationship. The problem isn’t Jeonghan. It’s never been Jeonghan. The problem is me. I haven’t been in a relationship for longer than a few months ever. Even the very few people that have been nice to me…”

You trailed off, thinking.

“Hwanwoong… Gunhak…” You strained to think of more. “That’s it. Those are the only two people who have really liked me and maybe been willing to marry me and I got scared and I broke up with them.”

You groaned and fell forward into your hands.

“I can’t hurt Jeonghan guys. Who cares about the others? I can’t hurt Jeonghan.”

Jeongyeon and Jun were quiet for a little bit. In fact, it stretched on for so long that you forced yourself to look back up at them, your hands dragging down your cheeks in frustration.

“Well?” You blurted. “I just barred out my heart and you two aren’t going to say anything?”

Again, they were quiet for a little too long and you dropped your head back into your hands.

“Fuck.”

“It’s just…” Jeongyeon’s words dragged you up out of your hands. “You’ve never… I just… You always acted like you just really didn’t care about relationships. I didn’t realize…”

“Yeah.”

There was silence, before suddenly, Jun broke it.

“Y/n, you’re really stupid.”

“Jun,” Jeongyeon hissed, and you heard him audibly get hit. You looked up at the two in surprise.

“What? She is,” he insisted. “And you are too! You both are really stupid.”

He looked over at you, shoving his hand forward.

“Who cares if you don’t think you are ready for a relationship? No one goes into a relationship knowing for sure that they are going to marry the person they are dating. That’s the hope but not the fact,” he insisted bluntly. “And the fact that you even care about this is just proof that you do care about him.”

“That’s not-”

“You just don’t want to lose him!” Jun interrupted. “If you didn’t care about Jeonghan then this wouldn’t matter at all. You like having sex with him? Say you like him, and you can keep having sex. Who cares about breaking a few hearts on the way?”

“I’m not a monster, Jun,” you said slightly offended by what he was saying.

“I’m just saying you broke up with the others easy right? But you so desperately care about Jeonghan you don’t even want to tell him that you don’t like him.”

Jun leaned back on the couch.

“Maybe I don’t know anything,” he mumbled. “But that sounds like love to me.”

You pressed your lips together.

“That…” You groaned and dropped your head into your hands again. “I just… I really don’t want to hurt him.”

“Stop being stupid,” Jun said, this time reaching over and physically hitting you. “Jeonghan can handle being hurt. And you’re preparing for a storm that you don’t even know is coming. Just do what every other idiot on the planet does and date the guy you like.”

You knew Jun was right.

God, you couldn’t believe that you were getting genuinely good advice from Moon Junhui.

“Jeongyeon-” You looked over at her with a wide and frustrated expression. She had a mostly blank look on her face and she just shook her head.

“I can’t… I can’t say anything, he’s right,” she said in awe. “I mean… Just think about it. Jimin and I dived into a relationship even though I’m pretty sure neither of us really know where it’s going to go. But I mean… I’m not scared.”

“How can you not be scared?” You pressed.

“Because it’s Jimin,” Jeongyeon replied. “The scariest thing I did was admit that I have real feelings for a fuck buddy. Now we’re both in the same boat where we both like each other and we both want to stay together… That’s what matters. Not the possibility of a breakup.”

“Look, this is easy for both of you-” you insisted, but it made Jun hit you again.

“It’s easy for you too! Do you or do you not like Jeonghan?” Jun asked.

“No,” you said stubbornly.

“Right,” Jun replied sarcastically. “That’s why you are thinking about this so much. Just call him y/n.”

Before you could respond Jun walked over to you, digging your phone out of your pocket and shoving it into your hands.

“I can’t tell him that I like him over the phone,” you hissed back. “Okay, I relent. I like Jeonghan. I like his attention; I like his touch sexual or not. I… I want to be close to him. I want to see him every day. It’s thrilling being at a party where everyone wants him but I know at the end of the night he will be with me.”

You knew you didn’t have to say it.

“I just... I can’t tell him over the phone. I’ll go see him…” You trailed off. “But not today. Later. I have to think about what I’m going to say right?”

-

Was that just an excuse to avoid having to talk to Jeonghan? Yes, yes it was.

Because sure Jeonghan liked you, and sure you liked him, and sure you shouldn’t be scared that this wasn’t going to last but you were scared of it anyways and you didn’t have to think about it. Not yet. Not until you talked to him.

So… You just decided to push off talking to him.

And if it were any better, (your impending Psych degree said it wasn’t) you weren’t talking to anyone. Not Jeonghan, not Yeongtae, not Jeongyeon… Not until your phone started buzzing against your table while you were deep in your psych book.

You slid open the phone, wincing when your ear was hit with loud noises.

“Yeongtae?” You mumbled.

“Not Yeongtae. But calling on behalf of him.” There was silence for a little. “You’re y/n, his only friend right?”

You sighed, were people starting to know you for that reason?

“Yeah, that’s me. Yeongtae’s only friend.”

“He just threw up in a sink at a party. Can you come get him? He keeps saying that you’re the only one who would be willing to come get him.”

“He’s at a party on a Wednesday?”

The person on the other end of the phone, made a sound of offense.

“I’m also at a party on a Wednesday.” You two were quiet for a while. “Are you going to pick him up or not?”

You sighed and closed your textbook. What choice did you really have?

“Yeah, I’ll come get him.”

-

Your first thought upon getting to the party was that there were way too many people there for a Wednesday. Seriously, who went to a party on a Wednesday?

You wormed through the crowd, avoiding as much eye contact with people as you could.

“Y/n.”

You ignored the calls, immediately recognizing that whoever it was wasn’t Yeongtae.

But the ignoring was pointless.

“Y/n-” The boys voice came again. Louder. Whinier. You rolled your eyes and turned around in time for someone to collide into you. You both stumbled, making the boys head pop up out of your chest. He looked a little dizzy. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall into you.”

You frowned, squinting your eyes.

“Yeonjun?”

“Yeonjun!” He cheered loudly, throwing his hands in the air. The momentum splashed some of his beer out of the top of the cup in his hand and he jumped to the side to avoid it. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here because I need to know how it went with Jeonghan.”

He took a swig of his drink and then his eyes widened.

“I’m so rude-” He thrust his cup forward. “Drink!”

You smiled at him.

“You know, I don’t want any but-” As you spoke you took the cup. “I’m going to take this away from you because I think you have had enough.”

A pout crossed Yeonjun’s lips, and he half-heartedly chased the drink. He gave up however once you had it pulled close to you.

“Why are you here if not to drink?” He asked.

“Looking for Yeongtae,” you replied. Yeonjun’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Yeongtae?”

You raised your hand to Yeongtae’s height.

“This tall… Uh, mullet? I think. Long face?”

Yeonjun looked at you completely lost, and you sighed waving your hands in the air dismissively.

“Yeah, I just, I have to pick him up,” you mumbled. “Unfortunately, he’s my responsibility. He has no friends.”

“If he has no friends, how did he get invited to this party?” Yeonjun asked, with a genuinely confused expression on his face. You pressed your lips together and nodded slowly.

“You know what? Great question,” you agreed. “I really do have to look for Yeongtae. Are you…” You trailed off and gestured to the party around you. “Do you have anyone to get your home?”

“I have friends,” Yeonjun said cryptically. You frowned, but before you could say more Yeonjun was disappearing into the crowd of people.

Weird.

You turned and just as you did you caught a glimpse of the absolute last person that you wanted to see at this party.

Fuck, Yunjun.

You spun around on your heel, instantly desperate to disappear into the crowd, but you knew that Yunjun had seen you.

Yeongtae would be fine without you right? Maybe you could come get him from this place in the morning. Surely Yunjun wouldn’t be here at 8am. Maybe-

“Y/n-”

You resisted the urge to hit yourself in the face. Instead, you just pressed both of your eyes tightly shut and completely froze, hoping that Yunjun would go away. A hand landed on your shoulder.

You forced a smile across your lips, and turned around, shrugging the hand off of you.

“Yunjun,” you said. “How lucky am I to see you again so soon?”

Your enthusiasm wasn’t quite reaching your voice and Yunjun seemed to notice it. He reached forward, fisting his fingers into your shirt and pulled you sharply forward. Your eyes widened.

“Woah-”

Yunjun’s lips quirked up into a smile once you were close to him. His eyes narrowed a little.

“You haven’t been drinking,” he observed. “There’s the y/n that I know.”

You forced your lips into a larger smile and pressed your hands to Yunjun’s shoulders pushing him away with as much strength as you could muster.

“We aren’t doing this,” you said with a laugh. “Like. Really. We aren’t doing this.”

You weren’t sure exactly what it was about this. Was it the fact that it was a party on a Wednesday? Was it the fact that you were there to pick up Yeongtae? Or maybe it was the fact that you knew that someone liked you. The fact that you knew that if you wanted you could be with Jeonghan right now. Sitting on the Alpha Mu living room floor fucking around with legos while Jun begged Minghao for a house cat.

You wanted that. You really, really, wanted that because if that was your life right now you wouldn’t care about your stupid ex at a party. You wouldn’t have been so stressed this weekend and to top it all of you wouldn’t be here at this party picking up Yeongtae alone.

So, you figured, in the end it was that. Your own stupidity that was actually pushing you to speak to Yunjun like this. You were so fucking mad at yourself and you had no one to take it out on because even stupid Yeongtae just meant the best.

But Yunjun?

You had been waiting for ages to tear into him.

And if you were too stupid to simply have a conversation with Jeonghan, you were certainly too stupid to start an argument with Yunjun at a party.

Yunjun’s eyebrows furrowed, the corner of his lips dropping.

“What?”

“I’m not even supposed to be at this party,” you replied. “And you haven’t talked to me in months. Not really. Why would I willingly walk into this?”

Yunjun looked a bit confused. Probably because he was starting to realize that this wasn’t some bit that you were playing as foreplay.

“You can’t keep pretending like you don’t want me,” Yunjun said, but he sounded uncertain. You narrowed your eyebrows at him.

“I don’t want you,” you insisted. “I am not yours anymore and I was barely yours when I was.”

You saw a flicker of irritation go across Yunjun’s face and you knew that you were poking a bear. Honestly, you didn’t really care.

“I can’t really figure out what was worse about you actually. Your ego or the fact that you never made me come even once.”

“Y/n, you better watch your mouth-”

“Or what Yunjun? What are you going to do?” You asked. “What could you possibly do to me in a room full of people?”

You were very aware that you were letting your anger towards your unsure feelings towards Jeonghan get to you and you were very aware that you didn’t really care. But you also were aware of the fact that you would need a quick way out of this situation. You slid your phone out of your pocket, glancing at the screen as you pulled up the contact that you needed.

“Y/n, if you’re trying to play a brat right now you aren’t doing it well,” Yunjun warned.

“Do I look like I’m playing a brat?” You asked him. “Just because someone is finally telling you that you suck doesn’t mean that I’m playing a brat.”

You glanced back down at your phone; the call being picked up practically immediately.

“Y/n you have exactly two seconds to apologize to me,” Yunjun said, and his voice was low. Scary. “Or I’m going to show you exactly what I will do to you in a room full of people who- For your information are not looking at you and are so drunk they won’t notice anything.”

Wordlessly you shoved your phone against Yunjun’s ear, forcing it into his hands. At first Yunjun looked confused, but he took the phone, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Hello?”

He was silent for a moment.

“This is Yunjun, who the fuck is this?” There was some silence. “No.” More silence. More frustration from Yunjun. “It’s not my fault-” He stopped and sighed heavily. “Then why aren’t you here?”

Whatever was said next seemed to do the trick. Yunjun gave you a frustrated look.

“I’m sorry.”

His words were quiet but before you said that he rolled his eyes moving your phone slightly away from his ear.

“I said I’m sorry,” he said louder. He turned his head so that it was clear he was talking to the phone again. “Is that better?”

After a few more moments of silence, he looked at you, pushing your phone back into your hands.

“You…” He looked like he wanted to say more but he didn’t. He just shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Not fucking worth it.”

And then he walked away. You pressed your lips tightly together and glanced down at your phone for a few seconds before bringing the screen to your face. Despite the roar of the party, you could hear the breathing on the other end of the phone very clearly.

“Thank you.”

Your voice was a bit quiet, and you were practically withholding breathing so that you wouldn’t miss the next thing that was said.

“You’re welcome.”

More wasn’t said.

“I…” You were hesitant. “I’m not drunk I just… I was a little angry and I needed some back up.” There was another small stretch of silence. “I don’t usually go to parties on Wednesday’s but I-”

“You don’t have to explain to me why you’re at a party on a Wednesday. And if you wanted to get drunk at a party you know I wouldn’t judge you for that.”

“I know Jeonghan,” you said, and you could hear the desperation in your voice as you spoke. “I just… I want you to know that I really don’t mean to…” Fuck. “I really want to talk to you about it I just…”

“It’s okay,” he replied, but his voice was a little strained. “Take all the time you need.”

Now was a good time for you to hang up the phone.

“Jeonghan can you…” Don’t ask. “Can you pick me up?”

There was shuffling on Jeonghan’s end as soon as the words left your mouth.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

Well, that gave you ten minutes to find Yeongtae.

-

When Jeonghan pulled up to the house you were sitting directly next to a very drunk Yeongtae who you had found in the kitchen with his head dunked in the sink. Jeonghan rolled down the passenger seat window and took one glance at you two before sighing.

“Come on.”

You wrapped your fingers around Yeongtae’s biceps and dragged him up with you, also supporting him by his elbow. He stumbled next to you, and you struggled to keep him upright.

“Yeongtae,” you urged softly. He glanced up at you. “I know that you like to make my life miserable, but I still haven’t talked to Jeonghan and he is here to pick me… Us up okay? So don’t say anything stupid.”

“It’s not my fault if I say something,” Yeongtae replied, his words comically slurred. “You should have already talked to him. It’s been weeks.”

“It’s been like four days,” you argued back. “Now I’m serious. Be cool.”

You dragged Yeongtae over to Jeonghan’s car, and pulled open the back seat, pushing him in. Yeongtae groaned when his face hit the car seat and you scooted in next to him. You closed the door behind you and tried to wrestle Yeongtae upright in the seat beside you. Jeonghan was quiet as you situated Yeongtae in the seat, clicking the seatbelt across his chest.

Yeongtae’s head drifted to the side and his head bumped against the car window. He groaned.

“I’m sorry to ask,” you said, leaning forward. “I just- Well, I was studying and Yeongtae needed someone to pick him up.”

Jeonghan glanced over at you over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” he said softly. You placed your hand on the center console of the car, which gave Jeonghan the opportunity to take your hand in his. He pulled you forward a little bit by your hand and a small smile flickered across his lips.

“No matter what our relationship becomes, no matter what you say to me, you can always call me if you need anything,” he said softly. “I really don’t want you to think that you ever need to apologize to me for anything.”

You were quiet for a little bit, looking at Jeonghan’s hand in yours.

“You told me that you’ve liked me since freshmen year and I just… Left.”

“At least you stayed for breakfast,” he replied. You couldn’t help the way that it caused a smile tug at the corner of your lips. Still though, you felt bad. “Where am I taking you and your dashing secret boyfriend?”

He laughed and gave your hand a squeeze. You ignored the secret boyfriend comment. He deserved to take jabs at your relationship with Yeongtae given the current circumstance.

“Can you take me to my place?” You asked him softly. “Yeongtae doesn’t have a roommate and I hate his place.”

Jeonghan’s hand left yours and he shifted the cars’ gear.

“Put your seat belt on,” he said. You nodded and leaned back into the seat, putting on your seat belt as you were told.

“I wasn’t going to come out,” you repeated softly. Even though Jeonghan told you that you didn’t have to explain you felt like you needed to. “It’s just that Yeongtae’s been trying so hard to make friends that he’s been going out a lot and, you know, he has no friends so when he got super drunk today, they called me. And I was just going to walk him home but-”

“You ran into Yunjun,” Jeonghan filled in. You nodded, even though Jeonghan couldn’t see you.

“I just didn’t have anyone else to call,” you said, but that wasn’t exactly true. You didn’t know what to say to Jeonghan about his confession. But you knew what you wanted to say.

… No you didn’t. You thought you knew what you wanted to say. You had the idea of what you wanted to say. You just didn’t know how to say it yet. All you knew was that you did have other people you could have called. You just chose to call Jeonghan because you wanted an excuse to see him.

That wasn’t fair. Jeonghan deserved a real response.

“Jeonghan,” you said softly. “I have a question that I shouldn’t really ask you.”

He glanced at you from in the rearview mirror.

“Ask it,” he said softly. You glanced away from him and looked at Yeongtae beside you. His face was red, and still pressed up against the window. He was sweating a little. You reached over, brushing his hair out of his face and pressing the back of your hand to his forehead so that you could feel the heat through your hand.

“Have you ever wanted a real relationship before?”

He was quiet for a second.

“No,” he replied. You glanced at the back of his head. “The only person who has ever made me want something serious is you.”

The car went over a pothole, and it made Yeongtae hit his head on the window. He groaned and tipped forward. You caught him with a hand to his chest.

“Woah.”

“Why did you let me drink so much?” Yeongtae groaned out. “I just wanted to impress Chaeryeong from Bio.”

You patted his back.

“For one, I had no control over how much you drank,” you commented. Yeongtae let out another groan, letting his head tip into your chest. You sighed and patted his head. “I’m sure Chaeryeong was really impressed when she saw you throwing up in the sink.”

You heard Jeonghan let out a small, amused huff from the front seat and you glanced up at him.

“Y/n, I feel so miserable,” Yeongtae whined, drawing your eyes back down to him.

“That’s your own fault, you idiot.”

You didn’t live very far away from the party and after only a few more minutes of bickering between you and Yeongtae Jeonghan was putting the car in park at the curb of your place. You unbuckled yourself and got out. You walked around to Yeongtae’s side of the car and opened the door, unbuckling him too. You ducked your head under Yeongtae’s arm, pulling him out of the car.

“Tell Jeonghan thank you,” you murmured.

“Thank you Jeonghan,” Yeongtae pressed out. “I know you hate me, but I really think that we are like friends you know?”

Jeonghan looked back at you two and you could tell from his expression that he didn’t agree. His eyes flickered up to you. You shot him a just play along with it expression and he sighed.

“Sure,” he replied tightly. “Friends.”

You mouthed thank you back at him and pulled Yeongtae out of the car, kicking the door shut with the back of your foot. You struggled to get Yeongtae over to the front door and once you got there you leaned Yeongtae against the wall so that you could get your keys out.

“Y/n.”

You look back over your shoulder at Jeonghan who had his window rolled down.

“Come here.”

You glanced at Yeongtae who looked… Stable, at the very least and then walked back over to Jeonghan’s car. You hid your hands behind your back.

“Yeah?”

Jeonghan looked frustrated by your distance, but he didn’t voice it.

“I just want you to know that I meant everything I said back then, and I meant everything I said tonight. It’s okay if you never give me an answer. I don’t care, I really don’t. What I really care about is you.”

He let his head fall to the side.

“I was so glad that you called me tonight. Even if it doesn’t mean you like me back… You remember what I said about… Reassurance?” he asked softly. You nodded. “You trust me. Even if you don’t like me the way I like you. You trust me. That’s all I care about.”

You felt your heart thudding in your chest.

“Jeonghan I-”

“Yeongtae is falling.”

Your eyes widened and you rushed back over to Yeongtae who was in fact sliding down the wall. You caught him by his bicep and pulled him back up to his feet. When you turned around Jeonghan’s lips were pressed into a small smile.

“I’m serious,” he called over to you. “You never have to respond to my confession if you don’t want to. I just want you in my life. That’s all.”

Before you could reply, Jeonghan raised a hand in Yeongtae’s direction.

“Hope you’re okay tomorrow Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae looked up, the biggest smile spreading across his lips.

“Goodbye best friend!” He exclaimed loudly. Jeonghan’s expression morphed into a slightly strained one and then before you could say anything else to him Jeonghan was driving away. You looked at the spot his car had been, completely forgetting about your plans to get back upstairs for a moment.

Then, you were very aware of the fact that Yeongtae was quite loudly sobbing on you.

“How long are you going to make Jeonghan wait?” Yeongtae cried out, and you looked down at him to see very real tears running down his face. “He’s my best friend and I love him so much.”

You gaped at the crying boy.

“Everyone with two eyes… No anyone with even one eye- no eyes! knows that you love Jeonghan. Just tell him already. Date him, he’s the perfect guy, and then finally we’ll be able to hang out without you because he won’t have to pretend to hate me.”

You fought the urge to tell Yeongtae that Jeonghan hadn’t been pretending when he said he hated him before and you immensely regretted the fact that you let Yeongtae be so involved with your life. You had called him after talking to Jun and Jeongyeon to tell him everything only for him to tell you the same things that they were. Annoying.

“We better get you inside,” was all you said.

-

“So… It’s Friday.” 

You looked up at Yeongtae, your eyebrows furrowing at him. 

“Yep,” you agreed. You were trying to read.

“It’s been a week since Jeonghan confessed to you and you haven’t even seen him since.” 

“That’s not true,” you denied with a sigh. “We saw him Wednesday.” 

Yeongtae’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“We did…?” He struggled to recall the memory for a moment before shaking his head. “Not the point- “Look, y/n you have to talk to him. You can’t keep avoiding him.” 

You actually could keep avoiding him. In fact, nothing but pure decency was stopping you from doing so. 

But, regardless, you knew what Yeongtae meant. You still didn’t give Yeongtae an answer. You looked back down at your book, willing Yeongtae and his common sense to go away.

“I heard he’s going to be at a non-Alpha Mu party tonight,” Yeongtae continued, completing ignoring your silent wishes. “You should really go.” 

“He probably doesn’t even want me there,” you said, but you both knew that wasn’t true. “He hates it when I just come see him at parties.” 

“Then start seeing him outside of parties,” Yeongtae said with a roll of his eyes. “But you can’t keep avoiding him. Avoidance hurts more than anything else.” 

You knew he was right. You hated that he was right. You were the pysch major. You were the one that was supposed to know, be right, and act upon these things. But instead, you were being the wildly unhealthy one.

“Should you be going to parties right now?” You asked him, trying to divert the attention away from yourself. “You don’t seem to have good alcohol tolerance.”

Yeongtae feigned offense, but he didn’t really fall for your diversion.

“I’m trying to get a social circle,” Yeongtae replied, a pout crossing his lips. “You met me at a party. You met Jeonghan at a party. I’m trying to meet my Jeonghan at a party.”

You stared at him.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not…” You felt frustrated. “I’m trying to read Yeongtae.”

Yeongtae snatched the book out of your hands and squinted at it.

“Is this a romance?” He asked you. “You are living a romance. Why are you reading about one instead of living yours?”

You snatched the book back from Yeongtae and hit him hard on the shoulder with it. He let out a very loud and audible grunt.

“Y/n!” He protested. “I really don’t know why Jeonghan likes you you’re so mean.”

There was a pout on his lips, and you ignored it. You opened your book back up, thumbing through the pages to try and get back to where you were. Before you could get far, however, the book was being taken away from you again.

“You are not sitting in this apartment another night avoiding your feelings like an idiot,” Yeongtae insisted. He opened up your window and before you could stop him he threw your book out of the window.

“Yeongtae what the-”

You rushed over to the window, just in time to see the book audibly hit the ground.

“You can’t just-”

Yeongtae grabbed you by your wrist and he tugged you away from the window.

“We’re going,” he said pointedly.

“He might not even be there!” You protested loudly.

“He’s going to be there,” Yeongtae argued.

“He never goes to non-Alpha Mu parties,” you argued back.

“They are all going to be there.”

“No, they aren’t.”

Yeongtae pulled out his phone, and pointedly pulled up a contact that said Seungcheol. He put the phone on speaker and you two stood there, staring at each other as the phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not to be completed as dialed, Choi-”

Yeongtae’s face dusted pink and he ended the line before immediately calling again. The phone rang and rang and-

“Your call can not-“

Yeongtae’s face reddened and he immediately called again. This time the call rang three more times before finally someone picked up.

“Hello…? Who-”

“Seungcheol!” Yeongtae said quickly. “Hey, it’s Yeongtae and-”

“Yeongtae?” You could hear Seungcheol’s confusion. “How did you get my phone number?”

Yeongtae laughed, clearly trying to save face in front of you.

“We’re friends!”

“We’re not friends,” Seungcheol protested. You huffed out a laugh. Apparently a mistake. “Is that… Is y/n with you?”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head quickly trying to tell Yeongtae not to tell Seungcheol you were there.

“Yes it is!” Yeongtae replied. “Say hi y/n.” You shut your eyes in frustration and silence strung out between the three of you. Silence that went on for a full minute before you finally broke it.

“Hi Cheol,” you mumbled reluctantly. You both heard some whispering on the other end of the phone.

“What are you two… Shut up, shut up they’re going to hang up- What are you two calling about?”

“I’m trying to force y/n to the party,” Yeongtae replied. “But she doesn’t believe that you are all even going to be there.”

More talking over the phone, it was somewhat muffled but you could make out what was being said.

“This is good, we want her at the party.”

“Would Jeonghan want her to see him like this?”

“It doesn’t matter- they need to-“

You could hear the audible sound of Seungcheol leaving whatever room he was in.

“Yeongtae’s right, we’re actually... Jeonghan’s already at the party.”

Seungcheol fell silent, but Yeongtae was taking his words in stride. He had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, and you could practically hear him saying I told you so.

You snatched Yeongtae’s phone from him and covered the speaker on it.

“I am not going to the party. This is humiliating,” you hissed. “It’s bad enough people are starting to associate you and me as friends-”

“We are friends, and I know that you aren’t really embarrassed of me,” Yeongtae argued back. He was right, you were friends, and you weren’t embarrassed of him, but the slightly offended expression on his face was too funny for you not to keep the joke going.

“What would Jeonghan do if he found out that I only came to the party because you dragged me there.”

“He doesn’t care.” Seungcheol’s voice came muffled from the phone. “Y/n, he just wants to hear from you.”

Everyone on the phone call knew that wasn’t true. He definitely would care if Yeongtae was the one that finally got you to come to the party. And honestly, you didn’t blame him. If Jeonghan was doing the same thing you were doing with Yeongtae with Chaedom…? You would be mad too.

Of course, there was one stark difference between Chaedom and Yeongtae and that was that Yeongtae genuinely didn’t want to fuck you, but Chaedom definitely did want to fuck Jeonghan.

“Y/n.”

You looked up from the phone to find that Yeongtae was looking at you. His expression was more serious than you had ever seen it before. Every single trace of humor gone from his face despite having been there moments ago.

“You can’t stop avoiding him. You’re going to regret it. You know you’re going to regret it. You have to go see him.”

Again silence strung out between the three of you. You repressed the urge to sigh and nodded once.

“Okay, yeah.” You looked down at Yeongtae’s phone as if you could look at Seungcheol. “Can you text Yeongtae the details? We can be there soon.”

You could see the small smile that crossed Seungcheol’s face even though you couldn’t see him.

“Okay, see you two soon.”

The line disconnected and you shot Yeongtae an annoyed glare.

“I really didn’t want to go to a party this week,” you mumbled. Yeongtae shot you a smile.

“Guess you should’ve put that psych degree to work earlier then.”

-

When you and Yeongtae got to the party, you did the obvious thing and immediately abandoned him at the door. You didn’t think that he was expecting you to hang out with him longer but if he was than it didn’t matter at all because you were gone so fast that he couldn’t stop you even if he wanted to.

After all, if you were going to be forced to a non-Alpha Mu party because you needed to talk to Jeonghan you weren’t going to put off talking to Jeonghan. The longer that you avoided talking to Jeonghan while at a party was really just… The longer you had to be at a party.

Besides, you missed Jeonghan.

Did you deserve to miss him after you had ignored him for so long? Not really. But you missed him regardless.

You didn’t spot Jeonghan, not first. But you did spot someone from Alpha Mu pretty fast.

“Hey,” you said, waving down Soonyoung. He turned to you, his lips turning up into a huge smile.

“Y/n!” He said excitedly. He grabbed onto the shoulders of the boy next to him. “Woo! It’s y/n!”

Wonwoo sent a tired smile your way.

“It’s good you’re here,” he said. “I thought you and Jeonghan had made up?”

“Uh,” you weren’t really sure what to say. “It’s complicated.”

It wasn’t really.

“Where’s Jeonghan?” You asked, ignoring the slightly dazed expression that was now on Soonyoung’s face. He turned his attention and jumped excitedly, grabbing someone else beside him.

“Y/n’s here!” He exclaimed again, laughing loudly. You couldn’t help the chuckle that ran through you, and the tired smile on Wonwoo’s face deepened.

“Jeonghan is… Unfortunately, fighting for his life against Chaedom,” Wonwoo said. You felt a pang run through your body at her name, and you tried and failed to keep your reaction hidden from Wonwoo.

He rolled his eyes.

“You two are ridiculous,” he mumbled, and you really almost didn’t hear it over the roar of the party. Wonwoo pointed through the crowd, towards the stairs. You tried to ignore the heaviness in your chest and instead focused on worming through the crowd. Part of you had wished that Wonwoo had taken you to Jeonghan himself, but those thoughts dissipated when you spotted Jeonghan and Chaedom.

Jeonghan had a red solo cup in hand, uncharacteristic, and Chaedom draped over his side. To his credit, he didn’t look like he particularly wanted her there.

You made your way over to them, clearing your throat when you were close enough that you thought they could hear. Both of them looked up at the sound, whatever secret conversation they were having seeming to die.

Jeonghan’s lips quirked up in a tired smile, while Chaedom just rolled her eyes, and rolled herself onto Jeonghan’s body.

“Hannie,” she purred. “Why are we still down here? Let’s go to a room, huh?”

You fought the urge to tear her off of Jeonghan yourself and it was genuinely taking all of your willpower to not do so.

“Y/n.” As Jeonghan spoke he pushed at Chaedom’s face, his cup falling to the ground and splashing alcohol all over their feet. Chaedom squealed pulling away from him, which was something that he took in stride.

He stumbled over to you, dropping his entire body weight onto you. You grunted as you tried to catch him, stumbling as well. Luckily, you were able to steady the two of you. Jeonghan swung his face to meet yours, a smile crossing his lips.

“Why are you here?” He asked you. You could smell the alcohol on his lips, and you frowned. You pulled away from him, your thumb going to his bottom lip. You pulled his lip down your eyebrows furrowing as the alcohol scent grew stronger.

“Were you drinking?” You asked. He whined, quiet loudly honestly, and his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“No.”

“You’re lying,” you bit back. You pushed Jeonghan’s head back, giving him an annoyed look. “I thought you were done lying to me.”

“I couldn’t help it,” Jeonghan admitted. “I can tell you’re mad at me. I hate it when you’re mad at me.”

“I get mad when you lie to me,” you replied, pointedly.

“You can’t get mad at him for drinking.”

You sent a glare towards the offending girl which only resulted in Chaedom placing her hands on Jeonghan’s back. She patted Jeonghan, her fingers curling in the fabric of Jeonghan’s shirt. She tugged on him.

“I wouldn’t be mad at you for drinking, Jeonghan.”

You rolled your eyes, tugging him away from her.

“Chaedom, you’re about to make me mad,” you snapped. “I think that if Jeonghan wanted to spend time with you he would have done so already.”

Jeonghan didn’t seem to care about the conversation that you two were having. Instead, he tightened his grip around you.

“Y/n,” he mumbled into your skin. You felt a shiver run through your body as the words vibrated over you. You pushed Jeonghan back again by his forehead.

“Jeonghan,” you replied, an eyebrow raising in his direction. “It isn’t like you to get drunk.”

His lips were stretched down into a frown, and it was in this light that you could see how red his cheeks were.

“It’s been a week, y/n,” he mumbled. “I’ve been waiting for you for a week.” He thought back over what he said and sighed. “Two days since I’ve seen you… A week since I confessed… Wednesday doesn’t really count.”

Pain panged through your heart at Jeonghan’s words, and you blinked in surprise. You opened your mouth to say something to him. Apologize maybe… Something.

Instead, before you could, Jeonghan tipped his head back into the nap of your neck.

“You know, I don’t even care if you like me back,” Jeonghan mumbled. “Just need you to stop doing this to me. Stop leaving me.”

The party around you felt quiet in this moment.

“I think I should get you home,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan protested against you.

“No, we’re at a party,” he protested. “Chan is going to be so mad if I leave. He wanted me to come here.”

“I think Chan will understand if you leave,” you said back. “I won’t take you back home, okay? I’ll bring you over to my place.”

Getting Jeonghan back to your place was a hassle, mostly in that no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t shake Chaedom off of your tail.

“You can’t get him back alone.” She pointed out. You tried to turn the attention away from her and get one of the boys to help you but as you were trying to get their attention Chaedom was dragging Jeonghan out of the party.

You cursed and rushed out to them.

“Chaedom.”

Her smile was sickeningly sweet.

“I’m just trying to help,” she insisted. “Where are we going?”

She cooed against Jeonghan’s ear.

“Maybe he would be happier back at my place.”

You glared at her.

“My apartment is a five minutes’ walk from here.”

You ducked yourself under one of Jeonghan’s arms. You sort of wished he wasn’t drunk solely for the fact that currently he was completely useless.

You weren’t sure exactly how much he had to drink that night but honestly it seemed like the only thing he could do was walk forward at your prodding. He wasn’t in any way interested in Chaedom, but just her holding Jeonghan despite the fact that she was helping was making you angry.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” You mumbled as the three of you got to your front door. She shook her head.

“I’m still waiting for Jeonghan to remember that I’m here,” she replied softly. She reached around, tapping Jeonghan’s cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over to my place baby?”

That tightness coiled in your chest, and you slapped her hand away from his face.

“Chaedom,” you warned. “He’s not your fucking baby.”

Chaedom rolled her eyes at your words, but readjusted her grip on Jeonghan again so that she was just supporting him. Jeonghan however, seemed to think that now was the right time to pipe into the conversation.

“Shouldn’t curse,” he chided you softly. “’s bad.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes briefly fluttering shut because what the fuck. After a second however your attention was back on your front door. You pushed the door open, wide enough for Jeonghan (and subsequently Chaedom) to come inside.

Once inside, Jeonghan was able to unwrap himself from Chaedom’s grasp. He stumbled into your living room, and then glanced over at you from his shoulder.

“Remember the last time we were here?” He asked, his voice high and teasing.

“Jeonghan-”

“You literally crawled.” He shook his head in disbelief and looked over at Chaedom. “She’s literally so good for me. Does whatever I want her to.”

His words were a bit slurred, but unfortunately Chaedom could hear him just fine. Her lips pressed into a firm line.

“I could be good for you,” she protested. Jeonghan hummed, and suddenly dropped to the ground. Both you and Chaedom darted forward but before either of you could reach him, he was steadying himself so that he was sitting on the floor.

“You’re not good for me,” he denied, peering at Chaedom. “You don’t listen very well.”

“Jeonghan, get off the floor,” you chided with a sigh. You closed the distance between you two and pulled at his forearm. He refused to budge.

“I don’t want to,” he insisted.

“You sound like a baby,” you said bluntly. He pulled his arm out of your grasp and wrapped his arms over his chest.

“You should do something with me,” he insisted. “We could watch a movie, and I could fuck you during the climax.”

You shot Jeonghan a glare.

“Would you fuck me if I was drunk?” You asked him. He pressed his lips together in annoyance, but that was answer enough. “Then I’m not fucking you while you’re drunk.”

“I would let you fuck me while you were drunk,” Chaedom piped up unhelpfully.

“Chaedom-”

Before you could finish telling her off, Jeonghan’s fingers wrapped around your hand and he suddenly tugged you down. You let him bend your body forward, surprised by the sudden contact. Once he had you so that your face was near his he placed both of his hands on your cheeks, squeezing your face in his hands.

“Y/n, I just missed you,” he said, and there was a pathetic pout spread over his lips. Part of you wanted to blame the alcohol entirely on the behavior, but deep down you knew you couldn’t really. Jeonghan would probably talk to you like this either way. “I just really fucking missed you.”

It was probably just because Chaedom was here- No it was definitely because Chaedom was here, but you felt irritation shoot through you at his words.

“You shouldn’t curse,” you replied, sending his own words back at him. “It’s bad.”

That pout deepened on his lips for a moment and you felt bad for about two seconds.

“I don’t know why she is treating you like a baby,” Chaedom said. She walked up to the two of you and crouched down in front of Jeonghan. Jeonghan glanced at her. Briefly. But it bothered you. You pulled out of Jeonghan’s hands.

You willed yourself to not be so jealous of their interactions. It was really stupid to be upset when Jeonghan was practically giving Chaedom no attention at all.

“You need water,” you murmured. You walked into your kitchen, screaming in your head. “Chaedom would you like some too?”

“That would be nice yeah.”

You fought yourself from mocking her. You started to grab water from your fridge for the two and as you did you could hear Jeonghan and Chaedom talking and shuffling around. You forced yourself to focus on your fridge. Begging yourself not to turn around because it would just make you upset.

“Han-”

Something collided into your back jostling your body forward a little. You caught yourself on the door of the fridge, turning over your shoulder when you realized it was just Jeonghan. He wrapped his arms around your body and groaned into your back.

“Y/n, I don’t want water.”

You shimmied around in Jeognhan’s arms so that you were facing him. You buried your fingers into his hair and pulled his head up. He still had a dumb pout on his face, and it just made your heart skip a beat in your chest.

God, he was so cute.

“I didn’t ask if you wanted water,” you replied pointedly. You blindly reached into your fridge and luckily, grabbed a water bottle. You pulled it out of the fridge and took the lid off the bottle. You pressed it to his lips. “Drink.”

Jeonghan turned away from the bottle.

“No,” he argued back. “Kiss me.”

“You taste like alcohol,” you replied. “Drink the water, and maybe I’ll kiss you.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed at you in frustration.

“But-”

You pushed the bottle back in front of his lips.

“Maybe,” you reasserted.

Jeonghan sighed and took the bottle out of your hands. When he lowered the bottle back down, half of the water was gone. A smile crossed his lips.

“A kiss?”

“I thought you said you didn’t care if I liked you,” you said softly. Jeonghan pulled himself closer to you, his face coming within inches of yours.

“I lied,” Jeonghan reasserted. He pressed closer to you, so that your lips brushed his. A smile crossed his lips and his eyes darted down. How could you say no to that?

You pressed your lips to his, something that Jeonghan immediately took control of. His hands raised to your face just so that he could deepen the kiss, but you didn’t let that last for too long. You pulled away from him, ignoring the way he chased you and whined.

“Y/n,” he insisted. You pulled yourself all the way out of his arms, and turned back to the fridge, grabbing a second water bottle.

“Finish your water and we’ll talk,” you replied. Jeonghan grumbled but raised his bottle back to his lips. You turned your attention back to Chaedom who was just sitting on your floor watching the two of you with an annoyed expression on her face.

You handed her the water bottle, trying not to throw it in her face.

“Did you drink a lot too?” You asked her. Or did you just get Jeonghan to drink a lot?

“Do you really care?” She bit back.

Touché.

You got to stand there for a good two seconds before Jeonghan was falling into you again.

“I drank a lot,” Jeonghan insisted. You raised an eyebrow towards him. “I meant water. I drank a lot of water.”

You rolled your eyes.

“You need to go to sleep,” you told him. Jeonghan groaned and tilted his face into your chest again.

“I get to see you for two seconds and then you make me go to sleep?” He complained. His fingers dug into your shirt. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“I very clearly didn’t ask,” you replied.

“You’re being mean to me,” Jeonghan complained. You were just barely aware that that was true.

“I wouldn’t be mean to you,” Chaedom asserted, unhelpfully, of course.

“You’re why she’s being mean to me,” Jeonghan bit out towards her. He looked up at you. “You’re jealous.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not-”

Jeonghan’s fingers tightened in your hair and he straightened up holding your head tight so that you were forced to face him.

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” he said, his voice low. “I may be drunk but I’m not stupid. You know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to me.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, refusing to say anything. Really just embarrassed because your jealousy was being outed in front of the person who you were jealous of. You did know that Chaedom didn’t mean anything to Jeonghan. You still didn’t like it when she touched him.

“Y/n, say it.”

You scoffed, letting the silence fill between the two of you.

“I’ll-”

Before Chaedom could piss you off more you murmured: “I know Chaedom doesn’t mean anything to you.”

Jeonghan nodded with a hum.

“Good.”

You let your attention turn back to him.

“I’m not just being jealous when I say that you need to sleep,” you insisted. You wrinkled your nose. “I can smell the alcohol from here.”

Jeonghan’s lips quirked down.

“But-”

“Seriously,” you insisted. “You left some clothes over last time and you can sleep in them. Just go to bed and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jeonghan’s eyebrows rose suddenly, and his fingers loosened in your hair.

“You…” He trailed off and shook his head. “You’ve got to stop keeping men’s clothes after you’re done sleeping with them.”

“I-” You exhaled your frustration. “I wasn’t…” You glanced over at Chaedom. “This isn’t a conversation I want to have in front of Chaedom and this isn’t a conversation I want to have with you when you’re drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes briefly followed yours and he looked at Chaedom. A genuinely pained look crossed his face.

“Can’t you just leave?”

A pout crossed her lips.

“But I’m so drunk.”

Jeonghan’s eyes turned back to you and he sent you a pitiful expression.

“I want to talk now,” he insisted. “You always put off talking.”

To be honest, you did always put off talking with him. You should have come to him way earlier. It was like they always said… If they wanted to they would. You could have made time for him if you had really tried but… You were nervous.

There was no fear of rejection and yet, an unpleasant feeling was building in your throat.

“Tomorrow,” you said softly. “When you are sober.” His expression didn’t change. “I promise.” Still the same. “Really.”

Finally, Jeonghan relented. He let his hands fall to the side.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you’re going to sleep with me… Right?”

You gave Jeonghan a stiff nod. He nodded back to you and turned, swaying a little as if his drunkness had finally come back to him. He looked back over his shoulder and pointed to Chaedom.

“If you ever talk to me again.” He didn’t finish but his tone and expression were serious. Then another pained expression crossed his face. “I’m going to go throw up.”

You and Chaedom watched him stumble to the bathroom. Normally, you thought you would follow him. Hold his hair back, but Chaedom was still here.

You glanced over at her.

“Can you leave now?” You asked. She rolled her eyes and walked over to your couch. She plopped down on it defiantly.

You sighed, and disappeared down your hallway, reappearing with a spare blanket and a pillow. Yeah, you hated her, but to her credit her cheeks were red from the alcohol and you thought maybe the reason that she was always so… Shameless was maybe because she was always drunk when you saw her.

You threw the blanket and pillow at her face.

“There’s water in my fridge,” you mumbled. “Don’t die in my living room.”

As you wandered down the hall, you stopped by your bathroom, peaking in at Jeonghan. He was laying with his head on your toilet seat. You cracked the door open leaning on the doorframe.

“That’s disgusting.”

He held up a bottle of bathroom cleaner.

“I cleaned it,” he replied. “Made it worse. Bleach makes me want to wretch.”

He turned his head into your toilet bowl a little, his cheeks puffing out briefly. He sat there for a little bit, the strands of his hair falling pathetically into his eyes.

You closed the distance between you two, crouching in front of him. You brushed the hair out of his face, your thumb flickering over his cheekbone. He let his eyes flutter closed at the touch.

“It wasn’t worth it to drink,” he mumbled. “I’m going to be in so much pain tomorrow.”

You stared at him for so long that he opened his eyes, giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes, you had ever seen from a man in his 20s.

“You make me stupid, y/n,” he said softly.

You pressed your lips together tightly and nodded once. You didn’t respond to that because how could you? It was still a little baffling. Jeonghan, the campus play boy, made stupid by you.

Your eyes drifted away from Jeonghan briefly.

You wondered if he realized how stupid he made you. All your years as a psychology student were made null when it came to him. It was like when you were with him you forgot how to have healthy communication. You really had to work on that.

“You think you can make it to the bedroom?” You asked him softly. His eyes closed again, an annoyed groan vibrating through his body. “Well, I’m not going to stay with you in the bathroom. I’m tired.”

You pulled your hand away from Jeonghan, which just made him whine in protest.

“It’s like babysitting,” you protested even though honestly you would stay up with a drunk Jeonghan for as long as he wanted you to. You were just frustrated. Chaedom was still in your living room and for some reason even though Jeonghan had literally confessed his love to you she still thought she had a chance and-

“Help me up,” Jeonghan practically pleaded. You rolled your eyes, and grabbed Jeonghan by his wrist, tugging him up.

“Yeah, yeah.”

-

When you woke up, you were partially afraid to move. Jeonghan had an armed draped over your chest, and his head rested on your stomach.

After an hour you realized that you needed to get up no matter if Jeonghan was up or not. It was better to wake him up with food, probably.

You somehow managed to untangle yourself from his body without waking him, and you ended up leaving him splayed over your sheets, eyebrows furrowed. You wondered what he was dreaming about.

You walked down your hallway,

“What are you making?”

You barely muffled a scream by slapping your hand over your lips. You exhaled sharply, your eyes closing and nose furrowing slightly when you realized that it was just Chaedom standing at the edge of your kitchen.

“Why the…” You buried your face in your hand. “Chaedom why are you still here?”

She didn’t speak so you let your hand drop to your sides. She was staring at you, one of her cheeks red from having slept on it, her tight dress bunched up just a little higher than it should have been and her hair a tangled mess.

You felt kind of bad for her.

A little.

“He doesn’t love you,” you said. You shifted your attention. “He doesn’t even like you. Why are you doing this?”

She just stood there, staring at you.

“Look, you’re pretty, you’re better than this,” you said. “What is the point of going after some frat guy who is notorious for fucking around? So, what if Yoon Jeonghan doesn’t want to fuck you. I’m sure plenty of guys want to. Why are wasting your time on the one who doesn’t like you?”

Chaedom’s gaze dropped away from you, her bottom lip quivering slightly. You sucked in a small breath, about to continue berating her when a soft sob wrecked through her body.

“My boyfriend cheated on me,” she blurted. Your eyebrows rose in surprise at the confession, but before you could say anything in response she was colliding into your chest, her arms wrapping tightly around her body.

“Oh-”

“I thought that he loved me,” she cried into your chest, her tears literally already soaking through your pajama shirt. “I thought he loved me but then he fucking cheated on me and I thought men fucking suck, I’m just going to sleep with whoever makes me feel good about myself.”

Her fingers balled into your shirt and she pulled her face from out of your chest to look up at you from behind her red eyes.

“And then the first guy that I go to sleep with. The one who is the ultimate fuck boy, who is all no commitments and fuck whoever walks doesn’t want to sleep with me because suddenly he isn’t a trash human being.”

She let out another loud cry and then her forehead tipped back into your chest. She briefly knocked the breath out of you, and you stumbled a little to accommodate her weight.

“And I can’t even blame him,” she wailed into your stomach. “You’re fucking beautiful and kind and perfect.”

Your mouth dropped a little bit.

“Men really do change for the right people and Shindong just wouldn’t change for me.”

You couldn’t help the confused expression that spread over your face. You stood there motionless for a little bit, waiting for her crying to calm down. After a few minutes it didn’t. You pressed your eyes shut tightly when you realized that you were going to have to actually to confront the conversation.

You awkwardly patted Chaedom’s back.

“Hey,” you said uncertainly. She just kept sobbing into your chest. “Hey, Chaedom you-” You sighed, and pressed your hand to her forehead, pushing her back. “Go… Go sit down on at the island, okay?”

The tears continued to run down her cheeks, and she took two large breaths.

“I don’t want to impede,” she managed to get out. You were so strong and such a good person for being able to hold yourself back because wasn’t everything she had done since you met her impeding?

“It’s fine,” you insisted. “Just… Sit okay?”

Chaedom sniffled but nodded, finally peeling off of you. She walked over to one of the stools and fitted herself on it.

“Look, you’re wrong, okay?” You said softly. You grabbed one of your skillets and cracked an egg into it, turning up the heat on the stove. “Men don’t change for people. People don’t even change for people. They just don’t.”

You turned over your shoulder to look at her.

“The psychology behind cheating is complicated because sometimes it makes sense and it’s easy to pin down. People cheat because they are angry or have low commitment or esteem issues. Some people are just fucking narcissists and they get bored so they just do something to see how the other person will react. I don’t know why Shindong cheated on you. Even Shindong might not know why he cheated on you.”

Chaedom’s bottom lip quivered.

“So… I should… I should take him back?”

“No,” you blurted back, shaking your head. “I’m saying that you are going to spend hours and days and weeks, maybe even months trying to figure out why he did what he did. But you won’t. You will never know why, and even if he tells you, you can never trust him.”

You shrugged and turned your attention back to the eggs.

“Because he lied to you once, and if he gets away with it once he will try to get away with it again,” you continued. “I mean the way that men and women cheat is different. There are a lot of studies done about how it seems that men generally cheat for the sexual thrill while women tend to cheat due to feelings of love or intimacy-”

Your eyes narrowed a little as you realized you were wildly getting off-track. Your summer psychology project was finally coming in use and you were a little too excited over that.

“Not the point.” You focused back in on the eggs. “Shindong cheated on you, and he probably would have cheated on someone else too. In my experience, no matter who it was Shindong would have cheated. You couldn’t have changed him. That’s just who he is down to his core.”

You scooped some of the eggs onto a plate, and walked over to Chaedom, pushing the plate of eggs towards her. You gave her a pressed smile and grabbed a glass of juice for her. You quirked your eyebrows up slightly silently telling her to eat.

She complied, but as soon as she had a mouthful of eggs in her mouth she was talking again.

“Bafeawut faow shoes chat mesplain wan.”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“What?”

She swallowed.

“But how does that explain Jeonghan?” She repeated. “He was a fuck boy, and he changed for you.”

“He didn’t change for me,” you denied. You cracked a few more eggs into the skillet. “The Jeonghan who stopped sleeping with other people and became desperate for my attention and turned down everyone for me wasn’t a change in personality.”

As you spoke you heard a creak from down the hall. Both you and Chaedom glanced into the hall and you saw that Jeonghan was standing there. He looked exhausted, his whole body weight leaned onto the wall. You pressed your lips into a thin smile.

“That’s just who he’s been all along.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” Jeonghan drawled softly. “But not completely true. Maybe I didn’t change but there is no one in this world like you.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing away from him and back to Chaedom.

“You’re not meant to be with Shindong, and you’re not meant to be with Jeonghan but that doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable,” you pressed. “You’ll find someone, you just have to give it time is all.”

Chaedom let out an annoyed sound and let her face fall to the counter. Your mouth dropped open at the sudden action and to be completely honest, you were a bit worried that she had hurt herself. But then she turned her head to the side and blurted out: “Everything hurts.”

You realized that physically she was fine.

Jeonghan wandered over to the counter and sat down two stools away from Chaedom. He gave her an uncomfortable look and then his eyes flitted back to yours. He pressed his lips into a small pout.

“You made her eggs before me?”

You rolled your eyes and gestured to the eggs in the skillet.

“You were asleep. Just wait a second.”

Chaedom peeled her face up and looked at Jeonghan with a still pathetic expression on her face. Jeonghan’s nose wrinkled a little.

“Chaedom,” he mumbled.

“Jeonghan,” she replied.

You couldn’t believe that this was your life. Free therapy for a girl you hated, and babysitting for a guy who was in love with you.

You dumped Jeonghan’s eggs onto a plate and then placed them in front of him. He grabbed you by the wrist when you were close to him and pulled you in a little more. Your breath caught and you pressed your lips together.

His eyes flickered down to said lips. He smiled.

“Y/n-”

“Not in front of Chaedom,” you insisted, pulling away from him. He pouted again, but you turned away so that you didn’t have to look at him.

Breakfast was awkward, the silence in the room deafening but you were avoiding Jeonghan’s eye contact like it was the plague and Chaedom was still crying to the point were you were seriously considering saying more.

Before it could get to that point however she sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

“I should get going.”

It was a relief to hear those words, and you saw Jeonghan perk up but you tried not to let your excitement show too much.

“Yeah?” You managed out. She sighed and nodded, getting to her feet and sending you a sad smile.

“I think I’ve overdone my stay a little.”

You didn’t agree but… You wanted to. Chaedom got to her fear and you followed to the door (but you could hear the padding of Jeonghan’s feet on the ground behind him so you knew he was following too).

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” You asked softly, unable to believe that the words were leaving your mouth out of a genuine place for concern. Chaedom gave you a tired smile, her eyes still dark red from all the crying she had been doing.

“I’m going to a friend’s house,” she assured. “Thanks for everything.”

Jeonghan was still hovering close to you, his hand on the small of your back. You respected that he was fighting so hard to not be too touchy but… you were glad that his hands were on you.

… And not Chaedom.

Chaedom’s eyes went to Jeonghan’s as if she could hear your thoughts.

“You know if you get tired of y/n, you can always call me.” She laughed and somehow within the laugh she started to cry again. You felt your fingers balling into tight fists. “I’m kidding. I-I’m going to go now.”

She gave you both a wave.

“I’ll see you later,” you said, giving her a pressed smile. She smiled back and then suddenly darted forward, wrapping her arms around your body tightly.

“You are so nice.”

You swallowed hard and patted her back.

“It’s… Going to be okay,” you assured. She nodded and pulled away.

“Okay, thanks.”

And then finally she was gone.

You felt your whole body deflate as soon as Jeonghan shut the door behind her, and without even thinking you tilted your head forward into his chest. You let out a loud groan. Jeonghan’s hand came to your head, and he patted you comfortingly.

“You were very strong to be so nice,” Jeonghan complimented softly. “If that were Yeongtae, I would have snapped him in half.”

You rolled your eyes and didn’t respond to him.

“Of course, you took out your rage towards her at me, which is annoying.”

“If I go to another party-” You looked up at him and sent him a glare. “And Chaedom, is wrapped around you as if she has a chance-”

Jeonghan dipped his head down, his lips pressing briefly to yours. Your eyes fluttered shut, and as naturally as you breathed, you pressed into the kiss. The hand on your back pressed you closer, and Jeonghan’s other hand raised to the back of your head.

He broke the kiss, his lips quirking upwards.

“You really have nothing to be jealous over,” Jeonghan assured softly. “And it’s really not healthy, but I love how jealous you get…  You’re so fucking cute. As if I would ever look at anyone the way I look at you.”

His lips pressed briefly to yours again. You pulled away slightly, taking a sharp breath.

“W-We,” you breathed softly. “We need to talk, don’t we?”

Another small exhale and Jeonghan was creating more space between the two of you. His eyes narrowed a little, his nose scrunching very slightly. He gave you a very focused expression.

“Is it going to go well?” He asked you. “Because if the answer is that you are rejecting me, but you’ll kiss me before the conversation then we can push it back a little bit.”

A small laugh vibrated through your body.

“That’s not very healthy,” you reminded him softly, as if you had been the prime example of healthy communication and relationship managing this week. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, let’s talk,” he agreed. He peeled away from you, patting you on the shoulders. He seemed hesitant to pull away from you completely, but after a few moments he finally did. He took in a sharp breath and nodded.

“Do we need a recap?”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

“A recap?” You mumbled. He nodded.

“I… Really want a relationship with you,” he said softly. “I don’t want to lose you to someone you think will treat you better. No one will treat you better than me.”

“You didn’t…” You glanced away from him. “Didn’t quite say that before.”

“No?” Jeonghan’s voice was so quiet.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t said that, exactly. You just hadn’t really expected to hear it so… Directly.

“So… You like me, and you want to date me,” you replied softly. Trying to just nod slowly. Jeonghan’s eyes on you were making it really hard to focus. “And… I like you… For sure. So, the logical next step is to… Date you.”

Jeonghan didn’t say anything, for so long that you couldn’t help but look over at him. He was watching you with a different expression than you thought that he would have on his face. It wasn’t relief or excitement. His eyebrows were furrowed, lips turned down. He seemed concerned.

“Do you want to date me?” He asked you. Your lips pressed together, and you nodded, but there was a knot in your throat. Jeonghan’s eyebrows furrowed further. “You know you don’t have to do everything that I want you to. If you just want to sleep together still, I can do that.”

That wasn’t what you wanted. But somehow voicing that seemed terrifying. Jeonghan let you try to formulate words for a while, before finally speaking again.

“Y/n, can I hear about your relationship with Yunjun?”

A topic change was exactly what you had wanted, but a topic change to this was not what you had wanted. It was worse, possibly.

“No,” you mumbled softly. Jeonghan nodded.

“Okay,” he said.

You two were completely quiet before you shook your head, scrunching your nose.

“No, I mean. Yeah, uh, it wasn’t really a relationship,” you replied. “It was sort of like us? I mean, we weren’t actually strangers. He knew someone I knew, and we ended up sleeping together and he was rough and I liked that so…” You felt like you were going into too much detail. “We saw each other for a few months? I think, and then I broke it off.”

“Why?” He prodded.

“He was mean,” you said with a shrug. “Most of my past flings with people were like that. But I mean, that’s the hazard when I like what I do right?”

You tried to laugh it off to lighten the mood, but Jeonghan didn’t crack a smile. In fact, the expression on his face was terrifying. He wasn’t mad, he wasn’t happy. He was listening and you couldn’t figure out exactly what he was feeling.

“Have you dated many people?” Jeonghan asked. You shook your head.

“Only a few,” you replied. You were quiet for a little while, but Jeonghan didn’t rush you. “Honestly mostly just fucked people casually. No dates. Always people I knew but wasn’t close to. Always happened more than once.” Again, too much detail. Jeonghan didn’t comment on that.

“Did you break up with them?”

“That’s a weird question,” you mumbled and again you were quiet. Why was talking to Jeonghan about this so hard? You could tell Jeongyeon about these things in your sleep, but with Jeonghan you honestly felt like you were suffocating.

Maybe it was just because you knew Jeongyeon so well. You could probably fuck five guys at the same time in front of her and she wouldn’t shame you for it. If you really wanted to, you could tell her every gruesome detail of your relationship with Jeonghan and she would listen intently and try to see it your way.

It was Jeongyeon and this was Jeonghan and they were different.

Would Jeonghan judge you for your dating history? Would he think you were actually a slut if he heard about the way that you let other men treat you? Why did you even care? You never cared what others thought of you.

“Yeah. I’ve always been the one to end things.”

Jeonghan was quiet and you had to look at him again. He was so good at getting your attention. Jeonghan held a hand out to you, and without thinking too much you took it. He pulled you closer to him.

“Am I too mean to you?” He asked softly. You shook your head, looking up at him nervously. “I don’t ever want to hurt you y/n. I lied to you and that is the last stupid thing that I will ever do.”

Jeonghan took your other hand in his and his thumbs circled over your knuckles.

“But if this is too much for you-”

“It’s not,” you pressed. “I just…” You pressed your lips together shyly, stubbornly keeping your eyes on the floor. “Say it again…”

“Again?” He asked softly. He seemed a little confused. “Say what again?”

You didn’t want to say it but he kept letting the stupid silence fill the room. Your voice was as quiet as you could make it.

“Say that you want to date me again.”

You didn’t have to be looking at Jeonghan to know he was smiling at you.

 “I want to date you,” he said, and you could hear his amusement in the heightenedness of his voice.

You kept your eyes on the ground.

“Again.”

“I want to date you.”

“… Again.”

Jeonghan pulled you a bit by your hands and ducked his head so that he was able to look at you.

“Y/n, I want to date you.”

Your face was suddenly hot. You turned your head away from him but then Jeonghan’s fingers were on your chin. He turned you to face him.

“I want to date you. I want-”

You laughed, unable to help the smile that was crossing your lips.

“Really Jeonghan,” you said, honestly trying to change the topic even though you knew there was no world in which Jeonghan let that happen. “All of this time you were sleeping with all these different people. Why do you suddenly want to date someone? Are you really ready to just… Settle for one person?”

“I settled for you the moment that I realized you would sleep with me twice,” Jeonghan replied softly. “But… I think that you know that. Don’t you?”

You let your eyes flit away from him.

“Not initially,” you denied. Jeonghan huffed out a small laugh.

“What was it you said to me… That it would be stupid to ask me to settle…?” His tone was airy, so unserious. “That even if I hadn’t asked you not to sleep with other people you wouldn’t because sex with me is just so good.”

“That is not what I said,” you protested. Jeonghan laughed.

“That’s basically what you said,” Jeonghan replied. “Look at it this way, you’re y/n.” Your words sent right back at you. You gave him a look that was honestly mostly embarrassment. “That was the day that I realized just how desperate I really was just for your attention.”

“You’re ridiculous Jeonghan,” you chided softly. “You just… The me that you think you’re in love with-”

“I haven’t said that I love you yet,” Jeonghan interrupted. Your eyes widened at his words.

“Wha-”

“I haven’t said it yet,” he repeated with a shrug. “You think I’m in love with you, hm? Do you think… Maybe you’re projecting a little? You love me and you want me to love you back?”

Your mouth gaped open but before you could think about it too much, Jeonghan was laughing.

“I’m joking,” he breathed. “I love you, y/n. I don’t think that I’m in love with you. I know I love you. The you that I think I’m in love with? It’s just you.”

“Jeonghan we hardly know each other.”

Hurt flashed in Jeonghan’s eyes and you immediately regretted your words. He didn’t let you feel bad about it for long though.

“Again, if this is too much for you…” Your eyes were screaming at him. Not too much. He sighed. “The point of dating is to get to know each other.”

“I know what the point of dating is,” you mumbled.

“Do you?” Jeonghan asked. There was a challenge in his voice. “Y/n, ever since we met we’ve been getting to know one another.”

“Are you sure that you aren’t… In love with some version of me that isn’t… Me.”

Jeonghan went silent again, and to be completely honest you didn’t think that you had ever really seen him frustrated at you. Not, outside of sex at least. But right now? He looked to be at his wits end. But… Not angry. Frustrated. Never angry.

Not at you at least.

“What do you see me as?” Jeonghan asked. Confusion flickered across your face.

“You’re Jeonghan,” you replied pointedly. It wasn’t enough for him; he arched an eyebrow your way. You sighed. “You are Jeonghan. Yoon Jeonghan. You love legos and you’re probably the most delicate frat boy in existence. You’re kind and deceivingly sensitive. You’re always gentle… And caring. You make me feel so… Loved.”

“See,” Jeonghan pressed. “We know each other. When you walked into my bedroom for the first time, then we hardly knew each other. But before you just knew me as Yoon Jeonghan the playboy. Now you know me as Yoon Jeonghan the angel of Alpha Mu.”

“I don’t even know your major,” you said bluntly, completely ignoring the angel comment.

“Don’t you want to find out?”

You two stared at each other. Silent.

“Do you still need time to think?” Jeonghan asked you. “I can give you more space. I’m sorry for drinking so much. I’m sorry if I burdened you-”

“Jeonghan,” you blurted but he ignored you. He started to pull away from you, but you grabbed more tightly onto his wrist. You tugged at him so that he was forced to stay close to you. “I want to date you.”

Jeonghan’s mouth closed.

“You’re right,” you admitted, but your voice was quiet.

“About what?”

Your fingers squeezed at his wrist.

“I was being mean to you because of Chaedom,” you mumbled. “You love me. Whatever. It’s still annoying that stupid Chaedom is all over you. And I want to date you. I do. I missed you this last week. I miss you every time I don’t come see you outside of parties. But no matter what you say or how close we get you are always going to be Yoon Jeonghan, one of the most eligible bachelors on campus.”

“And you will always be y/n,” Jeonghan insisted. “I think you’re more desired by the campus than you think.” He hummed. “But most importantly… You’re mine… Yeah?”

You swallowed hard; your eyes frustratingly focused on Jeonghan whose eyes were frustratingly focused right back on you. You nodded.

“Yeah.”

Finally, finally Jeonghan let you close the distance between you two. His hands found their way to your hips and he pulled you close to him.

“You gonna say it for me?” He asked you softly. “Need a little bit more than just a yeah.”

Heat was pooling your cheeks. Suddenly you were more embarrassed than you had ever been with him.

“I’m yours,” you whispered softly. “As long as-”

“I’m yours too,” Jeonghan promised, before you could even finish asking him. He dipped his head towards you and teasingly brushed his lips against yours. You tried to press your lips more firmly together, but he pulled away just enough to leave you unsatisfied. “I’m greedy y/n.”

You tried to focus back in on Jeonghan who was smiling at you in a very distracting manner.

“Greedy?”

“Mhm,” he hummed. “I knew that you were mine. Even though you hadn’t said it. Even though you were gone for a week. You know how?”

You shook your head.

“Because you still have those silly little hickeys,” he whispered back. You raised your hands to the back of his neck letting a frustrated expression cross your face.

“All you do is tease me,” you mumbled. “Why do you have to make me say things you already know?”

“Because I’m greedy,” Jeonghan repeated. “And I like to hear it. Your mine.”

You took that as your chance. You dragged Jeonghan’s head down by applying pressure on the back of his neck, finally firmly pressing your lips together. Jeonghan let a small laugh leave his lips but didn’t try to pull away from you.

You never got to be in control of the kisses, and so you were relishing being able to be in control of this one. Your fingers buried into Jeonghan’s hair, and you pressed him closer and closer to you. So grateful to finally be alone. So grateful to be kissing him again. So grateful to finally be done talking.

Jeonghan pulled away from you and you shamelessly let a whine leave your lips as you chased him. He laughed.

“I can’t believe that you’re the one always running from me,” Jeonghan breathed. His hands dipped under your shirt, his cool fingers pressing against your warm skin. “Because you are kissing me right now like you need me to breath.”

You blamed frustration completely and entirely and nothing else could possibly be behind what you said next.

“I fucking feel like I need you to breath.” Ew, ew, ew. “Jeonghan, it’s been a week.”

Jeonghan hummed, ignoring your obvious pleas. Ignoring the fact that your words had made you want to die a little on the inside. Jeonghan didn’t care. You didn’t understand how he always had such immense patience when it came to literally everything. His hands were roaming over your skin so lightly. His touch like a feather. He was so confident that you were just going to stand there and take it. Like he owned you.

“I do own you,” Jeonghan mumbled as if he could hear your thoughts. His head dipped into your neck, his lips ghosting across your skin. “Isn’t that what you said? Your mine?”

“I didn’t say you owned me,” you mumbled. A lie, and you both knew it was. Jeonghan hummed.

“Someone forgot about how you begged me to own you the last time I had my hands on you,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And you certainly are acting with a lot more humility than you usually do.”

His eyes drifted up to yours as his lips brushed your neck.

“Does being vulnerable really humiliate you more than degradation?”

Your face was burning and it was all the answer that Jeonghan needed. He ducked his head back into your neck, his fingers trailing up your back to toy at the latch of your bra. You knew that Jeonghan knew had to unlatch your bra. You knew he could do it with one hand much less two.

He was teasing you. He was still teasing you.

You experimentally let your hands drift down Jeonghan’s body, pressing firmly on his shirt at the bottom and pushing up. Jeonghan just hummed against you, teeth agonizingly dragging over the nape of your neck.

“Someone’s getting impatient.”

“You’re too patient,” you argued back. “You can’t touch me like this and then act surprised when I want you to take your shirt off.”

As you spoke you lost your confidence because Jeonghan’s mouth trailed down your neck, to your clavicle and then he was pushing your shirt off and you couldn’t help but get excited. You grabbed the hem of your shirt and backed away from Jeonghan, pulling the shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.

A small laugh left his mouth and he nodded slowly.

“Well, you might as well take the rest of your clothes off,” he said, his voice low and teasing. A small frown crossed your lips. Well, a pout really.

“You’re not taking your clothes off,” you mumbled. Jeonghan crossed his arms over his chest, an eyebrow raising, and his face growing serious.

“Maybe I should reword,” Jeonghan mumbled. “If you’re going to act like a whore needing to take my shirt off when I’m trying to just enjoy time with my pretty toy than you are going to do as I ask. Take your clothes off now.”

You didn’t have to be told twice. You began to as quickly as possible undress, the cold air of the kitchen, ripping a shiver from you as you kicked your pants off. Once you were completely naked, you threw your hands behind your back, trying to hide an excited look as Jeonghan stared at you.

His expression remained serious and he remained quiet. Still not moving to undress. Still not touching you.

“Jeonghan-”

“Did I say you could talk?” Jeonghan asked. You pressed your lips together tightly, shaking your head once as your body heated up like it was on fire. Jeonghan tutted softly, raising a hand to head so that he could brush some of the strands out of his face. “On your knees y/n.”

You dropped down instantly, your body buzzing with excitement as Jeonghan started to walk towards you. Your eyes stayed on him, suddenly not feeling nervous about holding I contact with him. Once Jeonghan was within arms reach of you he stopped, unzipping his pants and working out his dick without taking them off at all.

“What’s your safe word baby?”

You were quick to answer, barely even the first syllable out before you were telling it to him. He cracked a smile.

He stepped a little closer to you, tapping the tip of his already hard cock against your bottom lip. Before you opened your mouth for him he was pushing the head of his cock into your mouth. You fell forward a little bit, your hands grabbing onto Jeonghan’s jean clad thighs for better stability.

He didn’t completely like that. One of his hands buried into your hair, tugging at you sharply.

“Did I say that you could touch me?” He asked you. You tried to shake your head, but his grip was too tight. Before you could try to even answer in a different way, he was pushing his cock even further into your mouth. “I asked you a question.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at Jeonghan, trying to shake your head again but it was useless. Jeonghan didn’t care about your efforts. Instead he focused on pushing his cock deep into your throat, not stopping until the only thing you could comfortingly look at was his pelvis.

“So bad,” Jeonghan chided lightly, his fingers loosened in your hair, but another hand found its way to your head. “Can’t even answer a single question.”

His fingers held your head in place and he slowly pulled his cock out of your mouth again. Once his tip was on your tongue he was pushing back inside of you, setting a slow pace of fucking your mouth. There should be nothing hot about a man who was just using your mouth to get off, but the little groans and moans that were tumbling from Jeonghan’s mouth were going straight to your core.

Your fingers tightened their grip on Jeonghan despite having been told off for having your hands there. You didn’t even care, and Jeonghan didn’t deem it important enough to mention right away. His pace slowly began to quicken, his hips snapping as if he was fucking your pussy. You couldn’t help the little whimpers that were leaving your cock-stuffed mouth as he began to fuck your face harder, and you knew that was just spurring him on even further.

“You look so pretty when your mouth is being fucked,” Jeonghan mumbled, his voice low and muddled with pleasure. “So nice when your mouth is so full of cock you can’t talk to me. All you can do is take my cock.”

You moaned at his words and he had to readjust his hands, giving you a couple of seconds to recatch your breath before going right back into it. His thrusts hard and fast.

“Hate it when you leave for a week,” he mumbled. “You come around telling me how much you love my dick as if you didn’t ignore me all week.”

He was going faster, and you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth and his fingers tightening their grip on your head. His voice was becoming a breathier, all evidence that he was getting closer and closer to coming down your throat.

“I would have fucked you every day this week if I could have,” Jeonghan mumbled. “And I will fuck you everyday now that your mine. There’s no excuse anymore for you to be embarrassed by how much you like me.”

Your face blazed but before he could say more Jeonghan was moaning loudly, shoving your face into his abdomen firmly as he shot hot come down your throat. Your eyes were beginning to water, small tears running down your cheeks, but you did your best take it well.

Still when he let your face go you coughed a bit of his come dribbling out of your mouth onto your chin. Jeonghan knelt in front of you, grasping your chin tightly between his fingers. His swiped his thumb across the cum and then pushed his thumb into your mouth.

“Cause that’s why you don’t come around all the time isn’t it y/n? You like me so much that you’re embarrassed about it.”

Your sucked on Jeonghan’s thumb but your eyes flitted away from him. Jeonghan pulled his thumb from your mouth and hit your cheek. You hissed in surprise (not so much pain) but Jeonghan was smiling when you looked back at him.

“That’s okay you don’t have to admit it,” he cooed. “But you’ll admit it to me one of these days.”

He soothed over the cheek that he had hit, a little pout spread over his lips, feigning pity for you and the fact that he had hit you.

“But right now I can’t expect you to be so honest huh?” His voice was so condescending and it was only turning you on more and the worst part was he knew that. His hand lowered to your cunt and only then did you realize how embarrassingly wet you were. His fingers pressed between your thighs and you instinctively spread your legs out a little bit for him, the dampness of your thighs meeting the cool air and sending a chill through your body. “Look at you, you’re already so horny that you can’t think about anything but my dick can you?”

He hummed and immediately pushed two fingers deep into you. You cried out, falling back on your hands, your mouth dropping open into a small pant as he began to fuck you hard on his fingers. There was a slight burn from the stretch but it felt so good, you couldn’t complain even if you wanted to.

“All I did was fuck your pretty little mouth and yet you’re dripping all over your floor like a bitch in heat.”

A whimper was practically ripped from your mouth, and you couldn’t help but shift your body so that your ass was on the floor just so that you had some stability. Jeonghan snickered as your back hit the ground. Your face burying into your hands as you tried to muffle yourself.

Jeonghan let out an annoyed huff and he sharply smacked your thigh.

“Why are you being so quiet now?” He asked you. “Acting like you don’t usually have an audience of twelve boys… No point in trying to save face when I’ve made you scream before.”

You whined into your hands, refusing to move them when all Jeonghan was doing was humiliating you today. Jeonghan didn’t like that, and he expressed that by shoving a third finger into you. Your back arched in pleasure and you threw your hands to the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted. “It’s just- Fuck, it’s just embarrassing.”

“I’ve done worse to you,” Jeonghan commented, and he was right but that didn’t make it less embarrassing. It wasn’t even that he was fucking you really. Or… About you. Or teasing you, or that he’d fucked your face.

You still had that same residual embarrassment from the fact that you two were… Dating now…? That it was just making your heart pound that much harder.

“I wonder what I should do with you today,” Jeonghan pondered. “How many times should I make my pretty little toy come?” His thumb smashed down on your clit and it made you cry out again.

“You’re being so rough,” you whined, your fingers balling against the floor.

“Do you not like it?” He didn’t halt his pace, instead you suspected he was being even faster the sound of his fingers fucking you echoing in your apartment. You didn’t want to answer him. He knew you liked it but then his fingers smacked on your clit, hard.

“I do,” you blurted. “I fucking like it, like it so much.”

Jeonghan chuckled, and his fingers slipped from you.

“You’re being so bad today y/n,” he chided lightly. “What happened to my pretty baby who listens to me no matter what?”

He grabbed you by your hips, shifting you closer to him. He pushed himself in between your legs, settling himself there as he tapped the tip of his cock against your clit. Your thrusted up towards Jeonghan’s dick, desperate for him to slid into you, and when your bare thighs rubbed against the cloth of his sweatpants it just made you that much more desperate.

“And you’re so quiet too. Scared of your own voice, hm? You know I like it when you beg like my own little whore.”

The tip of Jeonghan’s dick dipped into you and you fought everything in your body not to fuck yourself on him. You just let another whine leave your mouth.

“Jeonghan I’m so sorry for leaving so long,” you mumbled, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock into you. You forced your eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around your body, coming fully seated inside of you. “I’m so sorry, I need you so badly. Need you to fuck me, really really-”

Jeonghan cut you off with a hard thrust, his lips brushing against yours teasingly.

“I don’t actually want you to feel bad for leaving for a week,” Jeonghan mumbled. His teeth teased your bottom lip, and his fingers duck into your back. “Unlike you I’m patient and besides…”

Another hard thrust and you couldn’t help the scream that Jeonghan ended up swallowing into a rough kiss. He gave you another hard thrust, your body bouncing, afraid to grab him but really needing to not only for purchase but also just to be close to him.

“You’re always worth the wait.”

You must have clamped down on Jeonghan hard because as soon as you spoke Jeonghan was fucking you again, hard. He let your back hit the floor and placed his hands on either side of your head. His lips were pressed hard to yours and he wasn’t holding back in the slightest.

“Je-Jeon-“ You could barely get a word out. Your fingers twitched by your sides, trying desperately to hold onto the ground that it was literally impossible to hold on to. “I need-”

It was so hard to speak around Jeonghan’s mouth, but he let his lips pull away from yours as you tried to speak, placing his forehead to yours.

“What baby?” Fuck. His hands came up to your neck, his thumbs brushing the dip in your throat. “Something you want?”

You could tell he was trying to be teasing but it wasn’t coming off well right now because he was being so rough. His eyes were shut in concentration and he squeezed your neck lightly driving you even fucking crazier.

“Wanna touch you,” you managed to get out, your voice quiet. Jeonghan laughed.

“Is that so? Thought you were being bad today, why didn’t you just grab onto me huh?”

You let out a frustrated sound, wanting to grab him out of spite but wanting to be good like he was teasing you for even more.

“I’m good,” you managed to get out, but you sounded so pathetic and broken as you spoke, each thrust so rough that you were starting to practically sob on his cock. Jeonghan’s lips tilted down to your face, kissing at the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You want to prove that you’re good?” He asked, you nodded, your mouth open so that you could pant. “Why don’t you come for me? Want to feel you come on my cock again so bad… Missed it, missed you-”

He didn’t have to say more, he didn’t even have to touch your clit. A sob left your lips as pleasure whirled through your body. You couldn’t hold back if you wanted to, you desperately grabbed at Jeonghan’s biceps, squeezing at him hard to try and gain some control over your position.

Jeonghan didn’t even falter, instead he got faster, and harder.

“S-sensitive!” Was all that you managed to get out, and it just made Jeonghan hum against you.

“Is that so baby? Cause I’m nowhere near done with you.”

You whimpered, and you tightened your grip on Jeonghan.

“I’m going to make you come until you literally can’t come anymore,” Jeonghan promised. “Won’t stop until you either safe word or I’m finally satisfied. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you tapped out.”

As he spoke, you were already overcoming the slight discomfort from him fucking you through your orgasm. You shook your head desperately, knowing without even knowing how long it was going to go on for that you were not going to tap out.

Ignoring Jeonghan for a full week was such a terrible idea for you because it just meant that you needed him that much more. You felt so good with his cock stuffed inside of you, his hot breath on your cheek driving you feral. You readjusted your arms so that your fingers were threaded in the roots of Jeonghan’s hair.

You couldn’t help it, you started quietly begging Jeonghan to fuck you harder. You knew you were pulling a little at Jeonghan’s hair and normally you didn’t think he would entertain it but he didn’t seem to mind.

“You’re so slutty y/n,” he mumbled. “You submit to me so fast. So willingly. Wanted me to take my clothes off so badly but you don’t even actually care that I’m fucking you like some common whore.”

You nodded, still babbling, still nonsense and Jeonghan was eating it up.

“You’re not even making sense,” he teased, and as he spoke another orgasm was wracking through your body. Your head tilted up and your lips brushed against Jeonghan’s but he pulled away from you as you did. “My little baby, coming on my dick from being talked down to. Like it so much don’t you? Like it when I fuck you stupid. Why don’t you try and get another straight sentence out for me?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concentration but Jeonghan’s lack of letting up was making it hard. With each thrust his sweat pants brushed against your clit and the friction was making you pull away form Jeonghan a little as you came down from your second orgasm.

Jeonghan didn’t mind that either. His thumbs pressed down together every now and then as you hiced, making your voice come in and out, your breathing becoming just that much more desperate. He was toying with you, enjoying the way that your wish to breath increased when he pushed down on you, letting up the pressure only so that he could watch you catch your breath and then take it away from you all over again.

You could feel another orgasm building up in your core, and this time you were chasing it, your abused pussy the last thing on your mind as you rolled your hips down on Jeonghan. You wanted him to come so badly. Wanted to feel him fill you up because you had felt so empty recently, and you must have been telling him exactly that because you felt Jeonghan’s cock twitch inside of you and:

“Yeah? You want it that badly?” He had somehow managed to steady his voice but you could tell by the sudden erraticness of his thrusts that he wasn’t actually that composed. You could also feel it in the slightly bending of his pointer fingers on the back of his neck, you were making it so hard for him not to come.

“Y-Yeah.” You finally managed to consciously get something out. “Need your cum so badly, don’t you want to fill me up? I want to feel full of you.”

Jeonghan tried to hum but it came out wrecked.

“So good at begging,” he praised and it affected you just as much as it did when he was degrading you. Your back arched and you pressed your chest into his tshirt covered chest. You couldn’t help it.

“Jeonghan pl-please, I-” You were interrupted not only by the feeling of come being shot deep inside of you but by Jeonghan’s lips crashing hard onto yours. You were crying like a baby on him as another orgasm was ripped through you and it hurt but the pain was practically null to the full burning pleasure that was filling your body as he shot string after string of cum inside of you.

His thrusting began to slow down until he was agonizingly slowly dragging his cock in and out of you. He was breathing hard against your lips, no longer kissing you, but pressed against your lips regardless. When he finally came to a stop inside of you his body slumped against yours.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled. “So good. Always so good for me.”

You didn’t respond to him, your fingers still tugging at his hair tightly as you tried to bring your breathing back to normal. Jeonghan didn’t really care about that. He slipped his cock out of you and before even a drop of his cum could leave he was pushing two of his fingers back into you.

“Such a sloppy little pussy,” Jeonghan mumbled against your lips and you could feel the smile. “Does it feel good?”

You had to be honest, and you breathed a yes, your body buzzing as he you felt his cum slowly being pushed deep into you, then threatening to drip out before being pushed right back into you.

“Jeong-“ You were going to come again, and you knew that Jeonghan could feel it because his thumb pressed to your clit again making you cry out in pleasure.

“Your really going to come from me fucking my cum into you?” He teased, and that was all he had to say before you were coming again. Sobbing against his lips.

“C-Can’t do more,” you begged breathily, and as you spoke Jeonghan was slipping his cock back into you. Once he was fully inside of you however he stopped completely, his head dipping down into your neck. He fell quiet, his chest rising and falling gently against you.

You were afraid to talk because the feeling in your heart was a lot heavier than it should be for someone that you had just started dating. You bit down on your lip on your lip to keep yourself from speaking.

“Y/n,” Jeonghan breathed against your neck, sending a chill through your body. “Y/n, I really do love you.”

He took the words that you were afraid to say to him right out of your mouth, and as you fought to figure out what to say back to him because surely such intense feelings from you to him was due to the post-sex haze your phone started to buzz on your counter. Your eyebrows furrowed and despite Jeonghan’s protests, you wrestled your way out of his arms and picked it up.

“Oh, it’s Yeongtae,” you mumbled. You didn’t think twice before sliding the green phone across your screen and putting the phone to your face, and it made Jeonghan groan unabashedly. He wrapped his arms around your body, tugging you into his chest, but you mostly ignored him.

“Hey,” you mumbled into your phone.

“My head hurts.” You pulled your phone away from your ear suddenly. He was so loud. “And I don’t know where I am.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, and you pulled away from Jeonghan a little bit.

“You don’t know where you are?”

“Last night I went home with a girl and we got on a bus? And we were kissing, and then we got off the bus? And now I’m in a neighborhood somewhere?”

You glanced at Jeonghan, putting your hand over the speaker.

“He’s lost,” you mouthed.

“Put it on speaker phone,” he mouthed back. You frowned slightly but did what he wanted to regardless.

“Can you see anything that you recognize?” You asked him.

“Uh…”

“Have you not tried using your gps?” Jeonghan asked. Yeongtae was silent for a second.

“Jeonghan? Y/n, you actually talked to him!” Came Yeongtae’s very loud voice. “He sounds jealous.”

“Do you want our help?” You asked Yeongtae sharply. He was silent for a few moments.

“Can you two come pick me up? I think I was on the bus for like three hours.”

“Three hours?” You blurted, unable to help it. “How drunk did you get?”

“Y/n please,” Yeongtae begged in the phone. “I won’t ask you guys again.”

You sighed, but not because of Yeongtae. You looked over at Jeonghan, not having to say a word for him to understand what you were asking him silently.

“We’ll come get you,” Jeonghan relented rolling his eyes. “And it’s okay if you ask again. What are best friends for?”

You didn’t let Yeongtae think about the slightly sarcastic way that Jeonghan added the best friends part- something that Yeongtae clearly didn’t even remember saying.

“Send me your location okay? We’ll be there soon just sit tight.”

“Okay.” Honestly Yeongtae sounded tiny over the phone. “I’ll see you two soon. Thank you.”

You ended the call between you two and before you could say anything Jeonghan was groaning and he was burying himself into your neck. You sighed, raising your hand to his head.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, honest. “It’s just-”

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan interrupted before you could say more. “I get it. You put up with Chaedom, I can put up with Yeongtae.”

He sighed, and pulled away from you a little bit.

“Besides, you’re mine right? Since we’re together it doesn’t matter if you hang out with Yeongtae or if I hang out with Chaedom.” You knew he was joking but you still sent him a glare. He laughed. “Yeongtae isn’t really that bad,” he admitted. “Weird. But he treats you well.”

Before you could ask Jeonghan if he was okay because oh my god, a nice thing about Yeongtae coming from Jeonghan’s mouth? You genuinely never thought you would see the day- Jeonghan was pulling apart from you.

“Okay, let’s get you in the shower,” he said. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“But Yeongtae-”

“He can wait,” Jeonghan pressed. “We’ve got to get you clean and then we’ll go get him.”

He fixed you with a serious look.

“But now that we’re dating? You have no excuse to avoid after care. After we get Yeongtae home you’re all mine okay? I just want to hold you.”

You pressed your lips together, just to prevent yourself from admitting how badly you wanted that. You just nodded. Jeonghan looked at you, clearly wanting you to say more but he didn’t push it. He sighed and mirrored your nod.

“You’re so good for me,” he mumbled, and the embarrassment caused warmth to crawl up your neck. “Come on.”

Part Eight (The Finale): Something He Likes

#seventeen #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #svt fanfiction #seventeen smut #kpop smut #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut

[thavron]

"It starts how it will end, with a garden."

This could just be God's omniscience talking, but I feel this tells us something about season one. The story is already over, God is recounting a tale in the past tense.

What if the same is true for Season Two, and it is a story being recounted by Aziraphale and Crowley?

Hear me out. Somewhere on this hellsite there is a post with a great long list of inconsistent duplications. I can not now find this list, nor can I remember it's full contents, but an example would include the following.

Crowley has two sets of sunglasses. Crowley's side burns have two different lengths. Bildad having two different looks.

Why, we ask, would a show that is renowned for its attention to details have so many inconsistencies? Surely not continuity errors. This has given rise to the idea of time traveling Crowley, which I must say is an interesting idea. But I think it might be simpler that that.

Let's look at Bildad. This is a version of Crowley from the past. We know it is a memory/flashback. We know memories can be inconsistent and can also be messed with (see Jimbriel)

So we have Exhibit A, wild and floofy and goofy. Exhibit B, sleek and shiny and a little bit sexy. Why may I ask? Well the simple answer is that this flashback is a shared memory. Both Aziraphale and Crowley are remembering it, and they both have different perspectives of the events.

How do we know both are remembering? There are times when they are not both present on screen. At the start of the minisode Crowley is alone on the hilltop smack-talking the goats. He sees Aziraphale appear. His is the only perspective it can be. Later we see Aziraphale in heaven, without Crowley. Both characters are remembering events and both are remembering it a little differently. Aziraphale, remembers Crowley differently to how Crowley remembers himself. So we have two different versions of Bildad in the same minisode.

So what if the same is true for the present day events? The story is being told from two perspectives, and so they both remember events a little differently. This would explain why little details are different, this is why we have inconsistencies. It would also explain why the major plot arc of this series is about memory loss.

Why does this matter? I'm not certain. But I think something about the final fifteen, and how both characters leave with a different understanding of what happened in that bookshop, will be relevant to how the story unfolds.

EDITING TO ADD: this break down of the perspectives in Job minisode is extremely compelling.

#good omens #good omens meta #my meta

[skaruresonic]

The common rebuttal to "this reads like fanfic (derogatory)" is "read better fanfic," which is true in certain cases, but on the other hand, there is some grain of truth to the idea that you can tell when someone's primary mode of literary analysis is fanfic instead of... well... literally anything else. It's okay to like or even prefer fanfic, but if you want to take your craft seriously you also need to read books, dude. Published books will teach you a lot of stuff fanfic doesn't, like proper dialogue formatting and how to introduce your reader to unfamiliar characters. Even the crappiest book (well, if it's not After or 50 Shades, which started off as fanfic to begin with lol) will have been subjected to some sort of editing process to ensure at least the appearance of proper grammar. That's not a guarantee with your average fanfic, and hence why you can't always take all your writing cues from fanfic because it's "so much better" than commercially published original fiction or whatever. Frankly, fic writers tend to peddle some absolutist and downright bad takes sometimes. "Said is dead" is a terrible rule, though not because said is invisible and a perfectly serviceable tag; that's just part of it. Dialogue tags are a garnish, not a main dish that can be swapped out for more ostentatious words. If your characters murmur and mutter instead of simply saying stuff, your readers are going to wonder why nobody speaks up. "'I'm explaining some very plot-important shit right now lol,' she elaborated," likewise, is a form of telling. Instead of letting the reader extrapolate that "she elaborated" via the contents of the dialogue itself, you're telling them what to think about it. And that's why it's distracting: your authorial hand is showing. Writing is an act of camouflage. You, as the writer, need to make your presence as invisible as possible so as to not intrude on the reader's suspension of disbelief. That's the driving reason behind "show, don't tell." And overall, everyone could stand to cut down on the frequency of their dialogue tags anyway. Not every exchange needs "he said" or "she whispered" attached as long as you establish who is doing the talking before the exchange. Some people will complain of confusion if you go on for too long without a dialogue tag, and that definitely is a risk, but at some point you also need to resist the temptation of holding the reader's hand. If they can't follow a conversation between two people, chances are they weren't meeting you halfway and paying that much attention in the first place. In fact, you don't even necessarily need action beats in between every piece of dialogue, as Tumblr writing advice posts will often suggest as a fix. Pruning things often cleans them up just fine.

Another fanfic-influenced trend in writing is, I guess, beige prose? A heavy focus on internal narration with lots of telling. It's not a style I can concretely describe, but every time I click on a non-mutual's writing, I feel like it always has, like. This "samey" voice to it. There's no real attempt to experiment and use unique or provocative language, or even imagery half the time. It's almost a dry recital of narration that doesn't leave much room for subtext. I see this style most often in fanfic where you can meander and wax poetic about how the characters feel without ever really getting around to the plot. And it's like. DO something.

Other tells that the author is taking their cues from fanfic mores rather than books: >>too much minute description of eyes, especially their color and their movement >>doesn't leave much room for subtext (has a character speak their every thought aloud instead of letting the reader infer what they're thinking via action or implication) >>too much stage action ("X looked at Y. Y moved to push their seat in. X took a deep breath and stepped toward Y with a determined look on his face. 'We need to talk,' he said.") >>tells instead of shows, even when the example is about showing instead of telling ("he clenched his teeth in agony" instead of just "he clenched his teeth") >>has improper dialogue tag formatting, especially with putting full stops where there should be commas ("'Lol and lmao.' she said" instead of "'Lol and lmao,' she said." This one drives me up a wall) >>uses too many dialogue tags >>"em dashes, semi-colons and commas, my beloved" - I get the appeal but full stops are your friends. Too much alternate punctuation makes your writing seem stilted and choppy. >>"he's all tousled brown hair and hard muscle" and "she's all smiles and long legs." This turn of phrase is so cliche, it drives me up a wall. Find less trite ways of describing your characters pls. >>"X released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding" >>every fucking Hot Guy ever is described as lean and sinewy >>sobbing. why is everyone sobbing. some restraint, pls >>Tumblr in general tends to think a truism counts as good writing if you make the most melodramatic statement possible (bonus: if it's written in a faux-archaic way), garnish it with a hint of egotism, and toss in allusions to the Christian God, afterlife, or death. ("I will stare God in the face and walk backwards into hell," "What is a god to a nonbeliever?") It's indicative of emotional immaturity imo, that every emotional truth need be expressed That Intensely in order to resonate with people. >>pushes the "Oh." moment as the pinnacle of Romantic Epiphany >>Therapy Speak dialogue. why is this emotionally constipated forty-something man who drinks himself stupid every morning to escape gruesome war memories speaking about his trauma like a clinical psychologist >>"this well-established kuudere should Show More Emoshun. I want him to break down crying on his love interest's shoulder from all his repressed trauma" - I am begging u. stop >>"why don't the characters just talk to each other?" "why can't we have healthy relationships?" I don't know, maybe because fiction is not supposed to be a model for reality and perfect communication makes for boring drama?

>>improperly using actions as dialogue tags ("'Looks like we're going hunting,' he grinned") >>why is everyone muttering and murmuring. speak up >>too many adverbs, especially "weakly" and "shakily." use stronger verbs. ("trembled" instead of "shook weakly") >>too many epithets ("the younger man" or "the brunette detective") >>too many filter words ("he felt," "she thought," "I remembered")

>>no, Tumblr, first-person POV is not the devil; you're just using way too many filter words (see above) and not enough sentence variation to make it flow well enough. First-person POV is an actually pretty good POV (not just for unreliable and self-aware narrators) if you know what you're doing and a lot of fun crafting an engaging character voice. Tumblr's hatred of first-person baffles me, and all I can think is you would only hate it if your only frame of reference was, like, My Immortal. Have you tried reading A Book? First-person POV is just another tool in your toolbox, and like all tools, it can be used properly or improperly. But it's not inherently a marker of bad writing. The disdain surrounding it strikes me as about as sensical as making fun of the concept of characters. Oh, your work has characters in it? Ew, I automatically click off a fic if it has characters in it. like what.

#writing #obligatory disclaimer that I am speaking broadly and this is in no way intended to make anyone feel self-conscious

[ericscroptop]

34 + 35

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

✧ pairing: bf! eric x gf! reader

✦ genre: smut

✧ warnings: 18+ (minors DNI), smut, p!rn without plot, mentions of food and eating, cursing, 69 position, oral, female receiving, male receiving, fingering, fondling, spit & drool, lots of tongue, dirty talk, praising, pet names, kissing, a bit of aftercare

✦ word count: 3.8k words

✧ synopsis: you’re hungry for ice cream and offer eric some, but he has a different kind of dessert in mind.

✦ note: hope y’all enjoy this as much as i did, hehe <3

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

“Do you want one?”

“Nah, no thanks!”

You close the freezer and find the trash can, stepping on the steel pedal to open the lid and dispose of your ice cream wrapper.

Walking away from the kitchen, you trail towards the living room and plop yourself on the sofa that your boyfriend was already cozy on.

You park your body on the open space to the left of Eric, deciding to sit horizontally with your back leaning against the armrest, and you prop your feet and legs over his thighs.

His eyes are glued to the television in front, watching a k-drama that was you guys’ favorite show to watch at the moment when you had free time before bed.

As soon as you get comfortable, you begin to indulge in your sweet treat.

Your ice cream of choice was a Drumstick vanilla-sundae ice cream cone. You bite at the roasted peanuts and chocolatey coating, enjoying the cone while Eric was going off about some character you two equally despised.

You listen to him and giggle, adding your own commentary in between bites.

Currently, that character you both loathe appears on screen, so you let free a groan in annoyance and a string of not-so-nice words in seeing their face and antics.

Eric laughs at how passionate you are at being a certified hater, and he takes his gaze away from the show to glance at you.

You have reached the vanilla ice cream in your cone, so you start to lick at it to scoop it out and coat your tongue in the creamy goodness.

Personally, you find it satisfying feeling your tongue push the cream around inside the waffle cone. You let your tongue gather enough cream to your liking and licked it out, allowing it to melt in your mouth. Your teeth then bite at the cone and eat it slowly, making it a tad smaller. Then, you’d repeat this process once again.

The corners of Eric’s mouth fall and his lips part slightly, enthralled at the movement of your tongue on your ice cream.

Suddenly the view of you licking your ice cream is much more interesting than the k-drama playing.

He can’t help but eye you curiously. The way your tongue works around the cream has his mind comparing it to the way you’d lick at his own shaft when going down on him.

Even though you’re doing something as mundane as eating, he finds your actions erotic. His mouth is beginning to salivate in watching you, craving for your tongue’s attention to be centered on his cock instead.

He tries not to shift in his spot as your legs are draped over his thighs and he doesn’t want to disturb you. Though, his senses are beginning to heighten, and he can feel blood deploying to his cock and brain.

You’re mindlessly eating your dessert, not noticing your boyfriend’s hungry eyes trained on you.

At least, not until Eric deeply sucks in a breath in seeing your thick, pink tongue attempt at squeezing in the small hole of the little end-bit of the Drumstick. That did it for him.

At the sound, you raise your brows and turn your head right, looking at him in interest while simultaneously stuffing the end-bit of the cone in your mouth.

“What? Don’t tell me you wanted a bite— I asked if you wanted one.” you tell him with a full mouth, hand a couple centimeters away from your lips as you spoke while chewing.

He probably wanted a taste of your ice cream, you thought. Eric always says food tastes better when it’s yours.

Which, probably means he just likes sharing saliva, but whatever— you never minded. You’d happily give him a taste if he asked. He always did the same for you. You just liked to tease him about it.

But this time, Eric isn’t huffing for the reason that you think.

He averts his eyes from you, beginning to busy himself in caressing your ankles while he trained his eyes back to the TV.

Your eyes follow to your legs over his thighs, watching as his fingers moved gently over your skin.

Your pupils then notice the outline of Eric’s cock bulging through his grey sweatpants, letting a quiet gasp free once you process it.

Your boyfriend’s ears perk at that and he looks back at you, then to his lap, and he sheepishly smiles, feeling embarrassed at you having caught his boner.

“I couldn’t help it…. you just looked so pretty licking that ice cream.” he whines, eyes apologetic.

You look at him in awe, fighting back from letting out a chuckle at how dirty-minded Eric was. I mean, you sometimes are, too. And it doesn’t take much for you to become sexually aroused from your boyfriend. But it still catches you by surprise that he has a hard-on from watching you merely eat.

You remove your legs from his thighs and sit upright, then shift closer so that you’re sitting closely next to him.

“Dirty boy.” your breath fans over his face as you spoke, your words and proximity causing the tips of his ears to heat up and go red.

You cheekily grin, then lean into his cheek to press a loving kiss against it.

Eric eyes you with desire as you draw back after. Craving for those supple lips of yours to wrap around his aching cock, and is feeling ravenous for your pussy.

He was a bit flustered in being unable to hide his abrupt horniness at you innocently enjoying your treat, but he’s not gonna back down in satisfying his craving.

“Wanna have more dessert together? We can eat in the bedroom.” he speaks lowly, all suggestive and with a smirk.

It is now you who starts to feel hot in hearing his suggestion, mood changed and k-drama way past forgotten. You press your thighs instinctively together, liking the sound of that.

Eric notices and wets his lips with his tongue, smirk still prevalent on his face as he’s made you needy now, too.

He doesn’t hesitate in grabbing the remote and turning off the screen. Getting off the couch and now standing, he extends an arm down in front of you. You blush as you take his hand, and he pulls you up, interlocking your fingers with his own.

Without any words, you two walk to your shared bedroom, smiles beaming on each of your faces as you walked with hands intertwined to perform some raunchy activity.

When you guys make it to the bedroom, Eric immediately reaches over his head, grabbing the upper back of his shirt, and pulls it over his head effortlessly.

The sight of his naked torso alone is enough to make your pussy pulse. You take in the sight of his abdominal muscles and toned arms— of which, you swear have gotten just a tad bigger lately. Him working out almost every day is really evident.

It’s taking a lot right now to not jump at his bones and feverishly start licking up his chest. You bite back comments that would feed his ego and make it skyrocket, because although he is your boyfriend, you should play it cool for now.

But you know he’ll be bragging and teasing later to you how your body withers for him, and how his actions can make you easily go dumb and come undone.

Eric has taken a seat on the end of the bed as you remove your top and bottoms, leaving you in your panties. You hear him whistle like a cheeky bastard when he sees the soft flesh of your breasts bounce and the bottom of your butt cheeks peeking from the fabric.

“Stopppp,” you playfully draw out, grinning like an idiot and cheeks turning crimson at his reaction.

Your small hands cup your boobs, massaging the skin and rubbing along your tender nipples as you watch your boyfriend smoldering at you while he removes his sweats.

Goosebumps appear on your skin in a flash, aroused to discover that he went commando today. His cock immediately sprung up from his sweats as he removed and tossed them to the side.

His right hand grabs hold of it, running his fingers along his shaft as he leans backwards, letting his back hit the bed sheets and he moans at his own movements.

“Want you on top of me— backwards, please.” he practically begs, legs stretched out in front of him, slightly splayed over the bed.

A whimper escapes your throat at his open neediness, making it feel like there’s a heartbeat in your cunt.

You register that he wants you backwards on top, meaning he wants to 69. A position that you guys didn’t frequent, but Eric enjoyed it so much.

He loved the idea of pleasing each other at the same time, fulfilling both of your hungry oral desires without waiting for one another’s turn.

It was so vulnerable, intimate, and lewd— which is why Eric found it so salacious.

You honestly did like it, too. But sometimes it was a bit overwhelming and easy to be dazed from his pussy-eating skills and attention while you’re trying to focus on his cock. You also were shy in having your entire ass in his face and body on top of him, but he always assured you that it was easier that way, and he loved it. He wanted you like that.

You walked closer to him and approached the side of the bed, leaning close enough to bring a hand to his face and caress his cheek. You soaked in every part of his face for a moment, since you’d be facing away from him in a minute or so. You couldn’t resist in bringing your lips down to kiss his own velvety ones, burning in desire all throughout as they moved delicately with yours.

You swallowed and let out a shaky breath as you pulled back, beginning to play with the hem of your panties out of anticipation.

“Take them off.” he rasps, looking at you with utter desperation.

You follow his order, pulling your underwear down and stepping out of the fabric without anymore delay.

You finally get on the bed, crawling over his body and bring your face close to his genitals. You take time in positioning yourself as comfortably as you can possibly get on either side of his shoulders.

Both of your hands grip onto his thighs, eyeing his throbbing cock in need. Your thighs are shut over Eric, squeezing them together at how horny you were.

He fixes that instantly though, pulling them apart and is greeted by the perfect view of your sex.

“There she is.” he whispers, making every fiber of your body flutter at those three words.

“Be a good girl for me and try not to squirm or jerk away this time, okay?” he says, pressing feathery kisses along the inner part of your thighs.

“Mhmm” is all he can get out of you at that. His mouth or touch hasn’t even reached your cunt yet, and you’re already melting away.

He finally greets your pussy, fingers making contact against your folds and rubbing carefully along them. A gasp releases from you as the pads of his fingers play with the outside of your cunt.

His lips suddenly attach to your sex, kissing your pussy slowly to start off, eventually building up to practically making out with your lips and his kisses become more intense.

Your eyes are practically glued shut, high off the feeling of Eric simply touching you with his fingers and lips on the most intimate part of your body. No matter how many times he touched you, you’d always be weak to it as if it was the first time.

“You like when I kiss you here, don’t you?” he puffs out, then goes back to attaching his mouth to your sex, letting his tongue slip out and he begins licking you.

“Fuck— Eric!”

“Don’t forget to touch me too, pretty. Wanna feel those pretty lips around me.”

Your brows were slightly furrowed, too focused on the pleasurable attention Eric’s giving you right now. Way too focused that you forgot that this position was meant to be a two-way street.

You swallowed, looking at his red tip, whole-hard cock aching to be taken care of.

“Mhm— s’ry. Gonna make it all better, baby.” you breathe out.

You begin to bubble up together a decent amount of saliva in your mouth, then spit onto your dominant hand, using it as lubricant for Eric’s cock.

Your fingers and palm then wrap carefully around his shaft, starting off with slow, soft strokes. Eric groans into your pussy at you finally touching him, making you smile in satisfaction.

You give his tip a tender kiss before licking circles around his cock head, allowing your tongue to dance around and toy with his slit.

“Fuck, baby! You’re such a damn tease.” he growls out.

You continue to lick further down his shaft, swirling painfully slow along the long veins that decorate his cock and on the underside, adding just a tiny bit more pressure from your fat tongue, just the way he likes.

Needy noises from Eric start to become more frequent from your actions, and he takes it upon himself to finally amp it up a bit more as he takes an index finger and sticks it in his mouth. His own saliva coats it and without warning, he inserts it inside of you.

Moans tumble out of you from the feeling, and he doesn’t even give you at least a minute to think more about it before he adds a second finger, causing you to whine at the stretch and girth of them inside you.

“You love my fingers, huh? Always take them s’ well. Atta’ girl.” he coos.

With that stretch from his fingers in you, it provides more access to your cunt for him. His tongue inserts between your pussy lips and he begins to lick you more.

Eric feels the smooth, rounded edges of your opening as he slips it inside. He slips his tongue in and out hungrily, feeling your slippery walls firmly in doing so.

He feels carnal and lascivious as he eats you like a starved man. Hungry for your warm pussy. Hungry to show love and attention to the most vulnerable part of your body. Hungry to please you— his pretty girl.

You can’t help but mewl in feeling those thick fingers of his fucking around inside you. His mouth reaching different avenues of your cunt also is driving you closer and closer to the edge, knowing that you’ll fall apart eventually.

You shake your head and redirect your focus to his cock, not hesitating in rubbing his cock head over your lips, groaning as you smeared his wet tip mixed in your saliva and his precum over them. They part after a few seconds and you take some of Eric’s length in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you bobbed your head rhythmically.

You focused on providing long, deep strokes with maximum suction on each up stroke, humming in pleasure at the fullness of his girthy cock moving in your mouth.

Eric’s panting at your warm mouth fucking him just right and from devouring you up, driving him insane.

Your hand jacks off what you can’t fit, coating itself in the wetness you two have made from the mixture of your body fluids. Eventually, your hand reaches out to his balls, petting and caressing carefully the delicate sack.

“Mmph! Y/n…” Eric whimpers, making you clench around his fingers at his whining. He knows he’s so close, and so he’s even more passionate in eating you out, the tip of his nose pressing into your clit, gently brushing over your sensitive bud.

You remove your mouth from his cock in an instant, chest heaving and eyes rolling back.

The feeling of his nose on your clit is like pure euphoria to you. Eric’s nose was so prominent and sharp. It was arguably one of his best features you’d say, and so his nose combined with your clit was like living on cloud nine.

Unthinkingly, your hips rocked, grinding your cunt into his mouth. Your body was greedy in wanting more of his face on your sex, specifically towards your swollen clit.

Eric chuckles lowly to himself at you wanting to face-fuck him. “My greedy girl wants more?” he takes advantage of this position and spanks your ass cheek, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as a result from the sting mixed with pleasure.

He begins to squeeze your hips, holding you securely. The tip of his nose presses into your clit, gently rubbing it over your sensitive bud and drawing small circles around it. It’s perfectly shaped to apply pressure, as well as on your inner lips.

Although the stimulation is making you weaker and weaker by the minute, you attach your mouth back onto Eric’s cock, going back to blowing him and slurping up his length as best as you can.

Your hand jacks him off sloppily, and your movements start to become messy from how wet and slippery his entire length, your hand, and mouth is. Saliva is beginning to pool out from the corners of your lips, making you feel full from drowning in his cock.

Your pussy vibrates from Eric groaning into it due to the pretty noises releasing from your throat and how beyond wet your hot mouth is.

He starts bucking his hips into your mouth and you gag at his sudden movements while his body is full of tension, a blast of pleasure that travels from his head to his toes.

It’s driving him to the brink of madness from your lecherous noises, actions, and your heated bottom in his face. He can also feel your fleshy breasts and hard nipples resting over his abdomen.

It is a cornucopia of pleasurable sensation for him, and so you feel him throb inside your mouth, signaling that his climax is approaching.

His breathing is becoming more ragged and his moans get higher and higher pitched as he gets closer. He mumbles incoherent things into your cunt, head spinning and lost in lust while his release spurts out.

His cock pulsates while his thick cum squirts into your mouth, making you both fill the room with repeated moans and other noises.

His load hits your tongue, the inside of your cheeks, and the back of your throat, tasting slightly sweet as you swallow all the cream he has to offer.

Eric knows you’re close too, and only gives himself a few seconds to recover from orgasm before he gives maximum attention to your cunt again. His tongue presses down experimentally on your clit before his balmy, wet lips take it and start sucking on it eagerly.

“Eric— baby!” you pulled his sensitive cock away from you mouth and moaned, feeling like sobbing when he sticks his fingers inside you again simultaneously, and slides them easily in and out of you.

He’s so carnal, sucking, eating, and playing with you like there’s no tomorrow. Although you can’t see how fucked out your lover is, you can feel his devotion and desire for you as he eats you out.

His fervor shatters any remaining control you have over your body, and you’re trembling and writhing on top of him, making you whimper at the feeling of losing control and your genital muscles beginning to contract.

“Let it all out, baby. You can cum for me. I want it so bad.” he babbles into your folds, making you do exactly what he says and cum all over his face.

“Fuckkkk,” your voice wavered, involuntarily shaking from reaching your climax, feeling as if you’re cross-faded and gone in the brain.

Eric grunts as he begins to slurp at your bits, lathering his tongue and mouth in all your juices.

Your pussy is now overly-past sensitive now, and you practically cry out, desperately attempting in looking back at Eric, but your ass covers any sign of him, and his face is hidden in drowning in your pussy.

“Eric!” you whine and draw out his name, raising his attention as he removes his face from your sex and breathes in heavily.

You remove yourself off him and turn around immediately, looking at him with a fucked-out gaze. You meet his own heavy lidded eyes, along with a combination of your vagina secretions and his own drool coating his face from the nose down.

Your teeth can’t help but tug on your bottom lip at the sight, finding your boyfriend so fucking hot and feeling like you’re gonna melt into a puddle after finally seeing his face.

He still continues to catch his breath, chest rising and falling as he wipes his chin. “C’mere,” he murmurs breathlessly, arms open, ready to embrace you.

You inch closer towards him and let him welcome you into his arms. Eric holds you tightly while he falls backwards on his back, and then shifts you two sideways on the bed with you still secure within his hold.

You cuddle each other, your face nuzzled into his neck/shoulder, inhaling his scent while he caresses your back, helping your mind and body adjust to the feelings of post-sex.

“You did so well.”

“Always such a good girl for me.”

“I love you— so much, pretty.”

You pull your face away from hiding, looking at him with smiling eyes and fluttering lashes, bringing a hand of yours to brush away some loose strands of slightly-damp hair from his forehead.

“I love you too, Eric.”

He eyes your lips for a moment before he meets them with his own, sticky juices coating your lips while kissing passionately. Eric groans, fucking loving the way you could probably taste yourself on him and thinking about how you had your mouth on his manhood earlier— and swallowed all of his creamy seed.

You guys continue to peck each other’s faces. Eyes, nose, cheeks, and lips, giggling and rolling around in bed.

“My handsome boy.” you suddenly say, lost for a moment as you stare at your lover’s features and soak it all in. Looking at Eric never got old, his beauty always caught you by surprise as if you have never seen his face before. You could stare at him all day.

He chuckles shyly, cheeks growing warm at your comment and fondness for him.

“You’re such a cutie.” you giggle at him, and he just smiles, adoring how soft and cute you get after sex. You were his pretty baby. And always would be.

“Can’t argue with that.” he replies, smirking as he kisses the top of your head.

“Let’s sleep now, hmm?” he whispers.

You sigh happily, exhausted and ready to fall asleep in Eric’s arms after some good sex.

You two get ready for bed, and sleep soundly that night knowing that you belong to each other.

And you each wouldn’t want or have it any other way.

˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚. ˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.

#ericscroptop #the boyz imagines #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz eric #eric sohn #eric sohn imagines #eric drabbles #eric smut #eric sohn smut #eric sohn scenarios #eric the boyz #eric x reader #sohn youngjae #ericblurbs #tbz x reader #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop

[myers-meadow]

Hellish beginnings

Pairing: Haarlep x Raphael, budding Raphael x Tav and Haarlep x Tav

Summary: After you paid the House of Hope a visit, you were gone before the master of the house even knew you were there. Yet, you left his personal incubus Haarlep with a delightful present that they just can't wait to share with their master. Perhaps this is not the last time you entered the House of Hope.

Warnings: none. Teen and up rating. They/them used for Tav, no appearance mentioned.

Wordcount: 578

beautiful divider by @cafekitsune. If you enjoyed, please reblog or comment! It is fuel to the fire that is my love for these characters <3.

"Oh, Raphael," Said Haarlep, in sing-song tone, as soon as their master entered his boudoir. "You'd never guess which of your clients paid me a visit today."

Raphael shed his mortal disguise as he walked over to the bed. By his walk, Haarlep could tell how their master's day had been. Not that good. Not that it mattered much to them, but it was good to know.

"I'm not in the mood to guess," Raphael answered, voice thick with displeasure.

"Only your most cherished one..." They said, and their form shifted. Raphael's little mouse laid on his bed then, draped casually, erotically over the ruby sheets. Raphael, who only barely paid attention to his personal incubus, did a double take. His eyes widened. For one joyful moment, he didn't know what to say. Haarlep's grin widened.

"Really?" He then asked, with one eyebrow raised. "Tav." His tone darkened. It was difficult to tell whether he was angry, or intrigued. You very well know that entering the House was forbidden as per your contract, the consequences could be devastating. He'd so hate to have to hurt you, just as you show such promise. "That is quite the surprise."

Haarlep adjusted their position, showing off your features in a different way this time. Giddy, they tugged alluringly at the straps of their underwear. Raphael, drawn in by the sight of you, climbed onto the bed. Haarlep was quick to make room for him.

"You like it?" They asked, rolling over and showing off your backside, curving your back like a cat doing a big lazy stretch. Raphael only hummed, but watched with eager eyes.

"I cant say I haven't thought about them..."

"They were so fun," Haarlep drawled. "Desperate and mewling after just a few kisses. Too bad you weren't there."

"I wonder why they came. If they thought they could break the contract-" Raphael clenched his fists.

"Oh, not to worry, they left without even getting that far. They just had a little gander at your archive, a little poke around the place. I'm sure this is their favourite room of the house. They spent the most time here, after all."

Haarlep changed shape again, into Raphael's glamour, determined to smooth over their master's anger. They laid a warm hand on his hip, trailing fingers up and down the formal doublet. With a flick of the hand, the doublet was gone. Hunger shone in Raphael's eyes, and Haarlep knew just a little convincing would be enough. It would be fun, to have a play with someone else for a bit. To have a third in the bedroom. They were curious to see what would happen. It was one of Raphael's known weaknesses that he got too involved in mortal lives, but this one seemed special.

"Surely it doesn't have to be such a big deal... They didn't do anything bad, after all."

Raphael tutted, finding comfort in the familiar touch. He played with the chains on Haarlep's outfit, tugging the incubus closer. "Perhaps we should invite them for a formal visit. Let us see if we can't talk this over."

Haarlep answered with a wicked grin. "They admitted they have thought of you too. I'm sure they'd be willing to... negotiate."

With his head falling back on the pillow as Haarlep pushed him on his back, Raphael laughed. "Oh, the plot thickens... Why don't you show me what it was about you that had our little mouse mewling, hm?"

#raphael the cambion #haarlep #haarlep x tav #raphael bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #raphael x tav #haarlep x raphael #raphael x haarlep #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 raphael #bg3 haarlep #haarlep x reader #bg3 #bg3 house of hope #raphael x reader #these characters are new to me; this was just a lil scene that popped up in my head while playing. please be gentle aughghg <3

[your-turn-to-role]

also. i absolutely adored what lovm did with the pass through fire quote

but then it makes me emotional about the original context, so i have to share that too (minor plot spoilers ahead)

because it wasn't originally to do with the ashari at all. it was from patrick rothfuss' guest character, a blacksmith named kerrek, who helped vox machina fight against the dragon in westruun, and helped keyleth personally through some difficult stuff (he may yet appear on lovm, but given the context of the quote now i doubt we'll get all of it)

and a little after kerrek's episode, patrick rothfuss actually made a legit letter from kerrek to keyleth, with a present inside, and left it with matt until whatever point in the plot she was able to recieve it

which by coincidence was one of the hardest moments in the whole campaign for her

and this letter had marisha legit crying in the episode, because it's just. so beautiful, and so needed. and it goes:

Keyleth,

I write to let you and your companions know that the repair of Westruun is proceeding well. I will not bore you with the details. Suffice to say that our children are well-fed and safe, our elderly and infirm are cared for and comfortable. Without the help of you and yours, this would not be the case.

The folk in charge argue constantly, but that is to be expected, and it is no bad thing. They all want the same good things in different ways. I listen, mostly, and do what I can to make sure that they listen to each other. Without listening, nothing good can happen.

The town... when I say the repair is going well, it is a hard thing for me to talk about. I am not a particularly clever man, and much of this is new to me. When you make a mistake with metal, you can melt things down and start afresh. It is irritating, and it costs in time and soot and sweat, but it can be done. There is a comfort in iron, knowing that a fresh start is always possible. But a city is not a sword. It is a living thing, and living things defy simple fixing. Roots cannot be reforged. They scar, and broken branches must be cut and sealed with tar, and this makes me angry, as it always has, and my anger has no place to go.

It was easier when I was young. I could use my anger like a hammer against the world. I was so sure of myself and my friends and my rightness. I would hammer at the world, and breaking felt like making to me, and I was good at it. And while I was not wrong, neither was I entirely right. Nothing is simple.

I do not work in wood. I am not brave enough for that. There is a comfort in iron, a promise of safety, a second chance if mistakes are made. But a city is more a forest than a sword. No, it needs more tending than that.

Perhaps a city is like a garden, then. So these days, it seems I have become a gardener. I dig foundations in the earth. I sow rows of houses. I plan and plant. I watch the skies for rain and ruin. I cannot help but think that you would be better at this, but circumstance has put both of us in our own odd place. You are forced to be a hammer in the world, and my ungentle hands are learning how to tend a plot of land. We must do what we can do.

Did you know that there are some seeds that cannot sprout unless they are first burned? A friend once told me that. She was... she was a bookish sort. I think of gardening constantly these days. I wear your gift, and I think of you, and I think it is interesting that there are some living things that need to pass through fire before they flourish.

I ramble. You have the heart of a gardener, and because of this, you think of consequence, and your current path pains you. I am not wise, and I do not give advice, but I have come to know a few things: sometimes breaking is making. Even iron can start again. And there are many things that move through fire and find themselves much better for it afterward.

I have enclosed a gift. Once it was a sword, but it has changed. It is a small thing, and silly. Please forgive an old man for his foolishness. Still, I hope it brings you some small comfort.

Kindly, Kerr.

and the present inside the envelope? a ring, engraved with the phrase "I have passed through fire."

#hi i saw a gifset of marisha getting the ring and im emotional again so have the full letter #god patrick rothfuss i know you're a professional writer but how are you so good at this #cr1 #the legend of vox machina #keyleth #kerrek #cr thoughts

[hamofjustice]

y'know, it's funny, from replaying pokemon scarlet / violet basegame, i'm pretty sure if you're not internet poisoned, then one of the most memorable things about nemona could be that she only battles you half or less of the times that she checks in to help you because she wants it to be perfect and fair for you and really doesn't want to annoy you, to the point it almost seems like she's making excuses NOT to battle you, not that she's a wild dog that's stalking you and will not leave you alone. one of her earliest character establishing moments is looking directly into the camera with puppy dog eyes and apologizing profusely for wanting a rematch because she had fun

she's in the gyms because she's also doing the gyms! she gets really embarrassed that it looks like she's following you around and decides not to battle you to prove she's not! if she is, she's probably following you because geeta asked her to, and clavell literally said she should take you under her wing! she usually gives you advance warning that she's going to be taking you on soon!

in particular, once you're out of the tutorial she talks to and helps you without battling you for the first three badges of her own questline

it's always, like, clavell and geeta being like 'smh get a load of this girl, she needs to back off, who does she think she is, gary oak?' with their body language. the "oops, nemona didn't realize that cutscene didn't heal you" thing the game keeps doing feels kinda forced.

maybe it's just pokemon writing being what it is (i really don't know why they act like she'd use her champion team against your starter, she just picked a starter, what are you talking about. make her look overeager in a way that makes sense with her character or anyone over the age of 5 please) but the way nemona actually is not matching the way everyone talks about her seems to be a thing in universe and out, and i want to remember this rather than fall into a telephone game of what the plot actually was

if anything, I wish she was less afraid to annoy the player, and more present in the game! y'know, appearing in the sidelines during gym battles with the rest of the crowd rather than the text simply saying she was, for example

idk, I wonder if things would be different if the most vocal pokemon "fans" didn't hate characters interacting with them. maybe I want a brock and misty with me the whole game. maybe biri biri and after the rain are the experience I want

acting like the character who puts our enjoyment above her own and is afraid to annoy us still annoyed us is how we get a DLC that never mentions her or the other main characters of the story in 9 months of promotional materials and, maybe someday, a gen 10 with no friends at all.

#pokemon sv #nemona #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarvio #nemona pokemon #nemonaposting #sorry for editing this ten times while it got its first reblog

[moonlesslights]

Red thoughts (Sanemi x f!Reader)

Summary: After being kept apart from the Wind Hashira by your master, a mission suddenly brings the two of you together into a heartwarming path with dangerous twists in between that end up putting a bulge in Sanemi’s pants.

Warnings: Smut with plot. This is somewhat long but i’m really in love with this man so I also needed some fluff here. Minor character death and choking kink.

(If there’s something more you consider should be in Warnings, please let me know!)

A/N: I hope you enjoy this, because I truly enjoyed writing it. A lot of fun, love and smut with a happy ending, so don’t worry. Love y’all!

...

“So you’re the little flame.” The Wind Hashira grins at you, mockery dancing on his eyes. 

His white hair stands out against his pale skin full of scars that cross his face from side to side. A tug on one of the corners of your lips occurs when you are now able to observe that classic extravagance in each of the Hashira.

“Is a pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” You bow, slowly, and his smile disappears at the sight, drawing you to your full height again with the doubt that you've done something wrong.

You frown at his irritated gaze, glancing quickly at your own clothes for anything that didn't look entirely presentable. But you just can’t find a single stained o wrikled spot on your kimono, and the anger on his face is starting to freak you out. Was this what Kyojuro meant with his warnings about this man all this time?

"Has anyone told you how weird it is to introduce yourself to someone after spending a week in the same place as that person?" His voice now carries a hint of bitterness and irony that makes your stomach sink. "I've seen you loitering around the compound for six days and I think I'm the only Hashira who doesn't know your name."

Your eyes widen in surprise before you can do anything about it. He had seen you? For six days? Your mouth opens only to close again without having managed to bring a single word of excuse to the tip of your tongue. Gods, how disrespectful has it been to have overlooked him all this time? Now you have to feel your face heat up at the thought: How much have I ignored his presence that I've only seen him for two days?

His large eyes continue to examine you, piercing through every layer of courage it took you to even appear in his domain. Your heart is already beating faster than you would like, and each blow to the chest makes you lose more and more composure in the face of his insistent, too insistent gaze.

But it's not your fault! It's not fair that any opportunity to have a healthy friendship relationship with him slipped away before you could even notice because of someone else, because of...

 “I was looking foward to talk to you for some days now” You rush to say, narrowing your eyes in his direction. You're not going to let the first thing the imposing man knows about you is the fear his presence seemed to exude for everyone else. “But Master Rengoku… Mhm…!” Are you going to say it?, was it right? Your lips snap shut, gods, how were you going to explain that now?

"Oh." There is no need, you realize. No more words are necessary for the Hashira in front of you to understand your reasons at once.

However, you are not sure if that knowledge makes you happy.

You shift one foot after the other, playing with your balance as you remember how many times you asked to meet Master Shinazugawa and how many times Kyojuro talked you out of it. It were his words as your superior that you respected enough to carry out his wishes...

At least until Oyakata-sama himself called for you to ask you to join the Wind Hashira on a hunting adventure that had come his way.

"I'm sorry!" You exclaim at the top of your lungs, bowing.

Sanemi frowns even deeper, but this time with confusion. His voice is next to appear:

"What are you doing?! Stop you idiot!" A weary sigh calms you enough to look back at his face. You shrug, a soft smile painted on your lips. "Whatever. Wait for me here, we'll be gone in a moment."

Your enthusiastic nod only elicits another groan from him. His figure turns around and disappears into his residence, giving you the opportunity to observe the large trees and the huge garden that surrounds the wooden house.

It looks like a quiet, comfortable home. Definitely much quiet than the place you shared with Kyojuro as his tsuguko, and with three guys a little too hyperactive.

Your eyes roam the neatly arranged room, the fine armchairs and china arrangements on fully stocked bookcases. You can't help but smile at how long such order would last in your own residence with your 4 favorite walking disasters present.

"But why can't I go too?"

"I don’t need you."

"If it's an easy one they shouldn't send a Hashira..."

"Who said it was an easy one?!"

Your attention flows into the structure, watching two tall figures walk towards you.

Sanemi is wearing his classic outfit now, instead of the training uniform, and the boy next to him, Genya, his brother, frowns at the shout the Hashira just let out.

"Idiot..." The younger of the two murmurs under a sigh, but continuing on his way next to the white-haired one.

"I don't think it will take too long." Sanemi replies, giving him a death glare. "Take care of the place while I'm gone."

"As if I ever hadn't." Genya murmurs, arms crossed.

A simple smile is drawn on your lips at the scene, attracting the dark-haired boy's gaze faster than you would have liked.

His eyes widen in surprise and his mouth falls in reflex as he turns to his brother with raised eyebrows.

"And what are you lookin at now?" Sanemi spits out, almost baring his fangs.

Genya gently shakes his head, widening his eyes even further: "Isn't she who...?"

The Hashira's huge hand shoots at his brother's head, holding it in a threatening movement for several seconds until he finishes whispering something into his ear.

A threat that, more than scaring the minor, encourages him to let out a mocking laugh and to say goodbye to both of you with a huge smile that seems to warm up the top of the ears of your companion.

...

Traveling to the northern village began as a journey nothing if not heavy.

Sanemi was not someone who was easy to strike up a conversation with, and you had to realize that sooner than later.

Monosyllables. That's the only thing you can expect for an answer. A "yes", a "no", a shrug of the shoulders or an irritated sigh; and, if the Hashira is feeling generous, maybe he'll give you an "Enough already"

Was that he was still angry about the incident with Rengoku?, or is it his nature that prevents him from trying to be the least bit nice?

Whatever the case was, it is gettin in your nerves. And maybe that’s why you get along so well with the guys and Kyojuro: they just never shut up. And neither do you. So how is this supposed to work now?

“How about we play a game?” You try now, giving him the most unstable smile he could have seen in a while.

His eyes travel to yours, slowly. He tilts his head with an almost imperceptible movement and your smile is now threatening to split your face in two.

“Mhm.” Sanemi shrugs and turns to the road again.

Your blood boils in your veins. You’re not going to be able to stand the next two and half hours of travel this way. Agh!

“Just answer me, would you?!” You snap, abruptly stopping. “I’m sorry about what happened with Master Rengoku, but I'm here now and I’m trying to make it up for both of us!, I wanted to talk to you too, I actually wanted to see your training, I WAS JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS, ASSHOLE!”

The silence after your scream cuts the air. The crow above your heads squawks between the discomfort as you feel your teeth pressed together. The wind caresses your skin, cold, and you swear this is how he would feel.

“I see something… yellow.”

It takes you a moment to restart your brain cells. One blink, two blinks. He’s standing right in front of you, not even looking in your direction; one hand on the Katana’ handle and his breath as calm as you have ever heard.

… Is he trying to play?

Your mouth feels dry. Your heart in the throat still. Of course.

“That yellow flag…”

“No.” He answers.

Both of you continue walking in silence, soft steps directed to that still far destiny.

“The curtains of that house.”

“No.”

“The dress of that girl.”

“No.”

“Haven’t we passed it already?” You ask, looking back to see if something yellow made it out of your sight.

“No.”

The shoes, those doors, the ornaments, that house, the hair of that man…

“No.”

“Agh! I don’t know. Screw it, you’re impossible…” You groan, looking at him. “What is it?”

He then turns to you, grin on his face and bright eyes of someone who just won. Well, at least he looks more happy now, it doesn’t matter if…

“The sun”

This mother…

“The sun it’s not yellow!”

“Of course it is!”

“No! Look at it now, do you see it yellow?” He frowns, glancing at you like you were crazy.

“Of course I’m not looking at it, I’m not stupid.”

That’s debatable.

“The sun is not yellow, that game wasn’t fair.”

“Everyone draws it yellow.” He shrugs, ignoring the looks of other people on the two of you.

You clench your jaw. Does he feel like he won?, let’s show him how stupid he really is.

“My turn.” You rush, looking around you. “I see something… White.”

“The clouds.”

“No.”

“The wall.”

“No.”

“If this is some kind of joke…” He looks at you as you spread an innocent smile over your face. “That doll.”

You turn your head as you actually thought about it, but then: “No.”

Ten more objects passed over his lips movements, his patience running low with every response your gave him.

“Do you give up?” You ask, leaning in his direction.

“No. Shut up.”

Another ten objects and the town it’s left behind, making him grow angrier with every step. C'mon, everything in the woods was brown and green, what the hell would be your excuse for cheating now?

“Do you give up?” You ask again, confusing his thoughts.

“Screw you.” He sentences, avoiding your gaze.

You take that as a yes.

Your smile widens and he lets out a sight, irritated.

“That.” Your hand raises and points to his head. “Your hair.”

His face… priceless. His clenching fist… threatening. He feels the anger raise up to his system as his eyes fix on the white strand falling to his face, smacking reason into him.

Nah, that should have been cheating, it wasn’t allowed, was it?, choosing something of one of the players. It wasn’t fair because… because he didn’t even thought for a second his hair was the thing you were seeing. Fuck off…

He looks at you, frowning and with his canines showing; but in the moment you burst out laughing, his walls crumble.

The joy that emanates from your throat is… lovely. He had never got the chance to hear it before, always too far from you, always too distracted. Your eyes are almost close as your smile spreads across your face, and then…

“Don’t look at me like that, neither of us can beat the other!” You let go your body to his, dropping your head on his shoulder with a soft movement. Then he learned your first love language: touch.

And it was bad, it was too bad, because he loved the touch, he craved it, but most of the time he didn’t know how to ask for it. So when someone he finds lovely takes ahead, he just can’t help it: he doesn’t want to lose it.

His hands raise to your shoulders and brings back your body against him, brute. Chest to chest, skin caressing skin, and cold wind messing his stupid white hair.

His eyes are glued to the distance in front of him, refusing you the possibility to look at his face. And maybe it was okay, because you would have got scared at how uneasy he looked, what the hell is he doing?

His brows are strongly furrowed and his arms are shaking with the idea of the mistake he just made; but he doesn’t seem to be able to lose the grip on your body.

And he just hates it, he hates it until you let out a soft happy sigh and rub your nose against the skin on his collarbones, he hates it until you let your head rest on his shoulder and your arms climb to wrap around his neck.

“This is nice.” And he doesn’t hates it anymore. 'Cause you murmur with your lips touching his skin, easing the crawl of anxiety you got every time you went on a mission.

So he lets go, lowering his arm to your waist, applying comforting pressure to your body. His head drops to your shoulders and he swears the rhythm of his heart calms as your essence surrounds him.

Another squawk echoes from the sky and his hands tighten on the fabric of your kimono.

"You know that the Demon in that town could be a Kizuki, right?"

"Mmm... Mhm" You nod.

"Genya doesn't know anything, I didn't want to worry him... He's always been affected a bit more than the others." Sanemi sighs, his cold hands giving a pleasant chill to your skin. "I'm not your master and I don't give a shit about oaths... If things get ugly, you're out, do you understand me?"

"No, wait..."

Sanemi stands back up to his full height, his arms still around you and his face inches from yours; widened pupils that don't leave your eyes for a second.

"I don't want you to play hero, all you'll do is embarrass yourself. I want you to get out of there and bring Rengoku or Tengen with you, do you understand?"

You shake your head, looking down. This is not how it is suppose to work.

"That's an order."

"Genya would never forgive me. If I came back without you, I would never forgive me... Not if this is our first mission together."

The Hashira shakes his head in amusement.

"He will. You will. It's an occupational hazard."

Your eyes go up to his, how can you fit in so well with someone you've only just met?, how can you feel it under your skin?

"I don't need you to promise me that you will..." He whispers, his lips brushing your cheek now and his lashes caressing your temple. "I need you to obey."

Your heart pounds in your chest, throwing you off balance. You have no choice but to nod.

...

The village... The village was not in the form you expected to find it.

There were no bodies on the sidewalks and no blood running down the streets. No screams or terrified people. It didn't look at all like what Oyakata-sama had described as "a village subjugated by a demon".

The only thing that seems to warn of danger is the strange atmosphere in which everyone seems to move. Pink particles that float through the entire town and begin to blur your vision just 10 minutes after your arrival.

"What is this?" You whisper, reaching your hand out in front of you trying to catch a few between your fingers.

Sanemi shakes his head next to you, tapping your wrist to stop you from doing that.

"I have no idea, but I don't think it's the best to stick around too long to find out what happens if we keep breathing this shit." A man walks in front of you, smiling a little too friendly, lowering his eyes to your entire shape. "This thing keeps them calm and happy one way or another. We need to get to the Demon before this lowers our own defenses."

After a few comments, you both agree that the best way to find the responsible for all of that was following the path to the biggest concentration of pink particles. But with every step you keep taking to the big house on the edge of the town, your head feels more and more light and your feet start to move on their own.

You two need to finish this as quickly as possible or you won’t be able to fight right.

“Let me take the front, you enter from the back. Let’s take it by surprise and cut its head off once for all.”

Sanemi smirks at your plan, nodding.

“Whatever you say, little flame.” He agrees, taking his katana. “Just try not to die before I get there to save your ass, got it?”

You smile as you see his frame disappear when he turns to the next lane, white hair floating between the darkness. He’s going to do his part, you’re sure, and you need to do yours if you want to prove everyone and yourself that you deserved to be the next Fire Hashira.

The front door creeks at your intrusion, letting you observe with apprehensiveness the first hall on sight. Your steps appear to make too much noise and your ears keep warning you on every little noise you’re aware of.

Katana on hand, it is the only thing that makes you feel ready to whatever it’s coming. That said, your movements are clumsier at every minute that passes, and the amount of concentration of pink dust in that house was crazy. You could barely see two steps ahead of you.

“C’mon, c’mon..” You mutter, rushing your steps upstairs. “Where are y…?”

“Where is your lover?”

You stop every single movement of your muscles at the voice breathing on the back of your neck. A chill runs thought your spine. Shit, you couldn’t even sense her smell by now.

“I’m sure he was with you on your way here…” She continues, starting to walk into your sight.

“Do you mean that white haired guy?” You ask, raising your katana in front of you, furrowing your brows.

“Yes!” She exalts, smiling with bright fangs. “Where is he?, did he left you? Already?”

Her pretty face shrugs in confusion, looking at you like she was really concerned about your answer. She’s tall, a lot more than you, and her dark hair seems to float around her pink dress, giving her an strange aura you have never felt before… But that could be just the amount of pink particles you had inhaled by now.

“It was about the guy you kissed months ago?, Is he jealous?” Her bright eyes give her a childish, almost innocent appearance.

You step back. How did she managed to know about that?

“You kissed him too just a couple of days ago, isn’t?!” Your eyes fly open at her statement, felling like an idiot the moment your face starts to turn red. How could you be blushing in a moment like this? “But you don’t feel the same way… Is it because this new man?”

Her voice trembles and you force yourself to look at her eyes. You feel your chest let go at the realization: She wasn’t a Kizuki. But the way tears start to build up under her eyes tells you that her explosive personality could be the real problem.

“But then why did he leave you?! Didn’t he know you want him?”

“No…” You try to calm her. Your hand tightens on your weapon, getting nervous at how every rush of emotions lets out another wave of pinky particles. “He’s not my lover, he just had things to do.”

“N-No… But you two… I was sure…” Her knees buckle, looking at you with hidden pain in her features.

“It’s okay.” You coo. As pacific as her death could, the better.

“No… No, no!” Another pink wave hits you straight on the face. “You’re lying!, or you don’t- you don’t know how he… Where is he? Where is he?!”

“I’m here.”

Both pairs of eyes fly to the the back door of the room, widening with different emotions at the white haired figure brandishing a katana on its hands.

“Yes!, he came!” She looks at you with evident excitement and you need to hide the amusement at the confusion written on Sanemi’s face. “Now I can tell you how he feels, now you can know I wasn’t wrong!”

That seems to activate something in the Hashira. Sanemi clenches his jaw, tensing up.

“Fuck this.” He whispers, rushing towards the demon with a clean movement, seeking to cut off his head in one move.

However, the smile on the girls face only gets bigger and bigger. Jumping aside, the blade misses her neck for inches.

You get on action now, taking advantage of the distraction caused with Sanemi intervention to direct your katana to her feet, hitting below her knees with almost a perfect technique. Still, your legs feel weak at the sudden movement and your fantastic success is quickly overpowered by your face crashing on the floor.

Before the demon falls, her crawls aim to Sanemi, who just in time steps back and brandish his katana so the entire hand of the girl is cut off her body.

You had seen it before, a thousand times with Rengoku: the only thing that could make a Hashira spend more than three minutes with a demon is a number on its eyes. Anything else, they would tear it apart.

The demon in front of you… She wouldn’t stand a chance.

And she appears to knows it, too early, too easy.

Sanemi’s blade doesn’t stop for a second, it redirects to her neck, letting the flesh slide through the metal, dropping an amused head to the ground with a soft thud.

Her body stays still on the air, frozen in time, just a few centimeters above the wooden floor; still connected to the Demon emotions.

A prostitute, you realize.

She was a prostitute, a girl too innocent for that kind of job. A girl without family, without friends, just her and business. A girl who dreamed of another life, a beautiful life, with a house, a dog and a man who loved her above anything else. She spent her last minutes as human believing she would find true love with one of those men she had in her bed.

And on her last night, she did. She fell in love. But the beast there saw another kind of potential for her, another job. So she took his blood and never got tired of it.

He never loved me…

“Flame, step back!”

Between those sheets, I never found love…

“Master!”

“But you…” She raises her gaze, smiling so pure that your heart drops at the sight. “You are going to find it. It’s really here…”

Her body twitches on the air and her skin starts to break on even more pink cracks that threaten to split at any given moment.

“I’m so happy for you two… I’m happy now.”

“Get down!”

Sanemi’s voice is the last thing you hear before her whole body exploits into uncountable waves of red particles, washing over you with so much strength that your own body is thrown to the nearest wall.

“Master?” Your voice is barely a whisper and yet, your throat aches at the minimal effort.

Your lungs tighten every time you breathe and your legs feel weak, too weak. Moving out of the room can’t even be in your plans right now.

Everything you see is just red.

…

“You stupid idiot, where are you?”

It is Sanemi. His voice is what brings you back now, again. His steps seem to be still far from you, but you can tell he’s getting closer.

The red dust has almost disappeared by now, only a few particles remain floating around you and your hair. What a disaster…

“I’m still here, Master.” You answer, trying your best to get on your feet again.

“Yeah, no shit.” His mad voice echoes trough the walls before his tall frame appears crossing the back door once again, too. “Lucky you…”

“Lucky me?, I have no idea how much of that red shit I just inhaled…” You frow, raising your face to meet his a few feet from you. Yet, the one thing that catch your eye is the enormous hole on the room’s window. Oh… “Lucky me, I guess”

He huffs at your realization, taking a few steps ahead, watching for himself from how high he had fell. A new record, it seems.

“Are you hurt?” You ask, shaking off some more dust from your clothes. He doesn’t respond, still looking through the window. “What is this shit anyways?”

You start to walk closer to him, muttering some more questions under your breath. Nothing really important as you try to convince yourself that the Wind Hashira is tough enough to take that fall, that he would be okay, that Shinobu would make sure of that.

By the way, you need to send a crow as soon as possible so they can know about Sanemi’s state…

“Stop”

Eh?

The Hashira’s hand is raised up to your chest, indicating you for don’t keeping getting any closer to him.

“What?”

“Stop. Just fucking stop” His voice cracks at the last word, turning on all your alerts.

“Sanemi?, are you felling unwell? Does something hurt?” Your hand reaches out for his shoulder and you take it back almost immediately.

He was burning…

“Sanemi?, are you…?”

“Get away from me. Now.”

His voice is harsh and doesn’t leave space for questions. You had only heard him using it on another slayers, leaving them with wreaked knees and whole body trembles.

Still, seeing the way his eyes shut close, almost painfully, you just couldn’t seem to obey this order.

“Why?, what do you feel?” You coo, leaning closer to him.

His response comes with another tremble.

“I’m hot. I feel like I’m burning alive…”

Your heart sinks, drowning in impotence when you don’t find anything you can do immediately to take that pain away from him.

“It’s okay, I’ll send a letter to Shinobu right now, I’m sure she will know what to do.” You try, taking him from both shoulders.

“No. You go…” He shakes his head, getting your hands off of him. “I want you out of this room.”

“No, what are you talking about?, I’m not leaving you.” You reach for him again. “Come on now, can you walk?”

You raise his arm on your own, trying to lock it over your shoulders to help him move, but his head starts to shake in denial the moment you step closer, struggling with each other.

“No. No, it’s okay…”

“Let me help you…”

“No, leave me.”

“C'mon now, just let me…”

“I told you to stop!”

The next thing you feel is your ass crashing down the floor, hard. His movements were too sudden and his strength too much for you. You need to look up to him to realize how far he had just pushed you.

However, any hints of anger wash away when you focus on his face:

White salty hair sticked to his even more pale skin, unmatched breath and open eyes with extremely widened pupils.

Oh.. and a bulge between his legs.

It hits you.

Hard.

That’s what that red dust was: an aphrodisiac. A powerful one for what you could see. You feel stupid for have just realized what you had let Sanemi gotten in to. He probably was in an even moren affected state since the beginning.

You start to remember your way to this house, how the men seem to be in an perpetual infatuation’ state. Even the Wind Hashira looked approachable under that pink dust. You bet women loved how easy was to deal with men under that spell.

Gods, you and Shinobu should start a new project right away…

“Out.” Sanemi orders, avoiding to look in your direction. You open your mouth just in time to be interrupted again: “Get out before I do something we will both regret tomorrow.”

You begin to shake your head as soon as his words hit you in the throat. His pain is evident, his face is red and his fists clench around nothing, digging his nails to his own flesh, so hard that you fear it’ll start bleeding.

Did he plan on you leaving him like that?

“Look at me…” You ask. “Look at me, Sanemi.” The way his eyes lift at the mention of his name dropping of your lips gets you walking to him in no time. “If I get out of here now I won’t be able to come back for at least three hours, you sure you can hold on until that?, you sure you won’t do something mad out of desperation before that?”

“If you do not leave this room right now I’m sure I will do something mad.” His eyes have turned bestial and his knuckles are white, clenching now so hard on the window frame you’re sure he will break the wood under his fingers soon.

Your heart pounds on your chest and your brain is working at full speed. You should go, you should start running as soon as possible and bring help here, but again, how long would that take?, how much suffering he would have to bear when you…?

“Fuck!” The pain that exudes his voice is the breaking point for you when you watch him fold on his stomach, bracing himself like he would die right there.

“Would you really regret it?!” You exclaim, looking down to his widened pupils.

He shakes his head, unsure.

“I don’t want to mess up whatever is going between you and Rengoku” He admits, frowning.

“What?, what are you talking about?, there’s nothing going with me and Kyojuro.”

He starts to try to stand straight again, still clenching to his stomach. You do your best to help him, letting him use your shoulder as a support and then getting your hands under his, so your arms avoid him to come down again.

Still, he lets out a desperate groan when your chest and his own rub through the movements and his hot skin touches your cold.

“That witch said you kissed a guy, right?, wasn’t it Rengoku?” His head drops to your shoulder. Hot breath running chills against your sensitive skin.

You nod, letting Sanemi's essence surround you.

“And she also said I didn’t feel the same… Remember?” That was the first time you admitted that out loud. “So tell me now if you will regret it so much so I can go out and bring help…”

“I would kill for having you in my arms the whole night, flame.” His lips brush against your neck, igniting your hear in only one sentence. “But if we do this, if we do this right now..” he lets you feel again the bulge pressing against your lower stomach. “I’m not letting you go back to him. This won’t be a one night stand, flame. I’m keeping you… so you tell me if it won’t be you the one who regrets it tomorrow.”

You smile, felling his head moving out of the crock of your neck to look at you directly on the face.

You get on your tip toes, pushing both of the tips of your noses together. His lips brush against yours and you start to wonder if that red dust didn’t affect you too. But with the growing tension, the only thing you can do is closing your eyes and crave for him to close the space that still remained between your bodies.

“I need words, little flame.” He grins, and when you open your eyes you swear you haven’t seen such a beautiful man in your entire life.

“I won’t regret it.” You smile, sure, running your fingers through his white strands, trying to make him certain of your decision. “Let’s do this.”

“You won’t run away?”

“Where else could I be, idiot?”

The way his lips crash against yours lets you feel how much pain was still running trough his system. The way his hands clench to your hips, forcing your body to curve into his, lets you feel how much desire he is holding on.

Your legs wrap around his waist when he lifts you from the floor. You can feel that he’s moving, but his hot lips dancing against yours, letting his wet tongue explore your mouth, avoid you to acknowledge anything else.

His neck then curves to lower his head, placing soft wet kisses to your sensitive skin from your jaw to your collarbones. Your mouth falls open, letting out a low gasp at the way his huge hands start to browse your body. You feel him everywhere.

Still, it is how his teeth crave into your skin what brings you back to what was really happening. No matter how much you would have wished this to occur under different circumstances, you can’t let the joy of the moment distracts you for what you need to do right here, right now, this time.

You drop from Sanemi’s embrace and plant your feet on the floor again. His confused face doesn’t last long after your hands push his chest and force his body to fall onto the bed of the room he had brought you two to.

“What are you…? Oh, fuuuuck.” Your tongue tracing the fine line of hair from his pelvis to his navel makes him arch his back with a loud groan falling from his clenched teeth.

Your hands travel around his exposed torso before you push your body up, straddling his hips with your legs. He takes you by the neck and pulls you into a kiss, devouring your mouth as you roll down your hips, applying friction on his crotch. The hardness in his pants rubs against your clit just right and you let a moan fall from your mouth, making him groan.

“Fuck, please, Flame…”

The desperation in his voice takes you by surprise when he takes by the waist and applies pressure down on him, forcing you to feel how bad he needed you.

You leave one last kiss on his jaw before kneeling down, looking at him when your fingers pull at the edge of his pants. Sweaty white locks glued to his forehead and a slight brush of pink across his cheeks and nose gives you every answer your needed. You pull down the fabric and he finishes to toss it off his feet, freeing his cock in front of you.

Well, his idiocy is definitely not the only big thing about him. Shit, is that really going to fit inside you?

You take him with one hand, giving it a few strokes, unsure. You are a virgin after all, you are not quite confident that you are doing it right. You move your hand up and down, applying pressure and registering Sanemi’s reactions; and when you pass your thumb across the tip and he throws his head back, you know you did something right.

“Just like that…” The white haired murmurs, supporting his weight on his elbows, closing his eyes, enjoying the soft caresses of your little hands of him, not sure if it was the red dust what was making his body feel surrounded in flames or  just how much he had dreamed about this from the first time he saw you...

God, this shit is getting on his brain, he needs to make sure it doesn’t get to his tongue.

Tongue...

“Fuck-... Flame!” His hand tugs at your hair as the wet contact of your mouth wraps around him. 

His eyes dart to look at you between his legs, your lips just a few millimeters from the tip and dove eyes looking in his direction. His breathing gets stuck in his throat and suddenly, Sanemi feels guilt pounding in his chest.

“Did I do it wrong?” You ask just above your breath and he swears he could die right there and now. 

“No, no... It’s just... We should change positions, c’mon, I want to make you feel good too...” He starts shifting his body before you press a hand on his chest again, shaking your head. 

“No, Sanemi...” You climb up to him without letting go of his cock, also raising your free hand to his shoulder. “Tonight is about helping you, besides...” You press your lips to his ear as you whisper: “You’ll make me feel good in a bit too.”

And you swear you can feel him throb in your hand. 

His eyes are glued to you as you lower down to your knees again. You let your tongue fall out your mouth, pressing along all his long shape before wraping your lips at the top and taking his balls and the bottom with your hand. 

The first few moves you try are just testing, because you can't get him deep enough before you gag. So when his hands tangles on your hair again but instead of pushing you away bring you closer to him, you know you’re fucked. 

“Relax your throat and stick your tongue out... Yes, like that.” His hand starts pushing you down and you feel your eyes getting watery as his tip hits the deep of your throat. “Juuuust like that. Good girl.”

You take a deep breath when he goes all the way back again and, before you know, he’s pushing into you with a new found rhythm. Your hands grasp at his hips, trying to mantain a little control over your body as brutal groans scape from his lips and the thrusting becomes even more erratic. 

You gag one more time and look at him with those lust-filled eyes and he truly believes he has never seen anything hotter. His hips stutter and he lets out a soft moan after a deep groan when he pulls you out just in time, ‘cause not even understanding what was going on, you followed his movements and now your pretty face was splattered in cum. 

He was wrong, there was something even hotter. 

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He’s not. Do not believe him. 

You smile and grab your kimono’s sleeve to wipe it off only for him to pull at your wrist and stop you. You open your eyes big and look at him closing the distance between your bodies. His thumb comes at your face and colects the cum with a couple of movements. 

“Open.” He orders, tapping your lower lip with his knuckles. 

You obey him, letting your jaw fall down just enough so he could push in his thumb, letting you taste him as he pressed down your tongue with malice. A grin appears on his face as your lips close around his finger. 

“Stop being so goddamn sinful, little flame.” 

A genuine smile breaks your act. You got caught. He pulls away and you let out a soft laugh, looking at him with bright eyes. God, how could this feel so right?

 “How are you feeling?” You ask, soon enough your features are full of concern again and he hates the sight of it. 

His big hands grab at your waist and pull you up to his lap, wraping his arms around you. You blink with curiosity at him when he frowns and press his index right between your brows. 

“Don’t do that, you’ll get wrinkles.”

You let out a loud laugh before pressing your own index on his forehead too. “But you are doing the same, idiot.” He looks up and huffs, letting his hand fall again to your hips. “Besides, smiling also creates wrinkles, here...” You touch both side of his eyes.

“Those I don’t care.” He complains, narrowing his eyes. 

“How are you feeling?” You ask again, preoccupied that the pain from the begginind hadn’t stopped. 

“Better. I can stop here, I feel good enough to wait for Shinobu if that’s what you’re asking, Flame.” Sanemi’s lips are now brushing agaisnt yours with every word his lips drop. “But I don’t want to. So tell me if I need to stop right now, we’ll do whatever feels okay with you.”

Your red face is the only thing that doesn’t feel okay. For fuck’s sake... C’mon!, what happened to all your confidence? No, why did you have to sit there?!

“Did you listen, little flame?, it’s okay if you want to stop here.” 

You shake you head at his suggestion, looking down. He tries to tilt your head up with his fingers but you refuse it, bitting your lip before your are able to speak.

“... This feels okay.” You whisper, rocking down your hips with his hard cock. His hands tighten on your skin and you are still wondering if he knew how wet you got of feeling him growing underneath you all this time. 

“Fine.” Is the only thing he says before he turns you around and drops your back against the mattress.

Sanemi undresses you quickly, big scratchy hands that run over your body without any shame. Your kimono slips off your shoulders when your breasts are exposed. Sanemi is fully hard again and... He was lying to you. He wasn't okay, every second tested his ability to keep his hands to himself, every time you touched him he ignited, just how much pain was he willing to take if you believed him?

His eyes follow each of your agitated breaths and you now know perfectly well that the red dust is still running through his entire system. His lips wrap around your right nipple while two of his fingers pinch the left one, creating electrical currents down your body. You let out a gasp, feeling his tongue dancing on your skin, but not satisfied with that, he presses his teeth down your nipple, not letting go until you whimper under him, and with that, he crawls to your lips again, demanding for his tongue to be taken into your mouth.

“Sanemi…” You whisper, cupping his face between your hands.

As he works with your lower lip, one of his hands loosens the skirt of your kimono and takes it down your legs, letting you push it off your feet to the floor. His fingers then trace down your leg up to your inner thighs, pressing his thumb slowly on your bundle of nerves and forcing a moan out of you straight to his lips.

“Let me prepare you, little flame.” He says, pleas, as his digit works on you, making your squirm under him.

“Mhm..!, Sanemi, no…”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m gonna take care of you.”

Your panties finally come off and you are, now, completely exposed to him. He accommodates you on top of a pillow, letting your head rest as he backs up a bit, only enough to watch your entire body, dark pupils all over it, red cheeks calling for another thing but just lust.

“You’re so, so beautiful, flame.” He grins, hidden thoughts under his tongue. “I’m scared to stain you…”

“Sanemi-”

“Am I even worth to it, love?” The sudden pet name takes you by surprise, letting you silenced for his next sentence: “I don’t think I have ever hold something so precious, I-”

“I want it to be you, Sanemi.” You interrupt him, smiling. “I’m starting to suspect Oyakata-sama knew what he was doing putting the two of us in this mission.”

He lets go of a simple laugh, warming your heart. “Do you really think so?”

You nod, cupping his pale face between your hands to peck his lips three times. His hand rests above one of yours, bringing you closer to him, enjoying your essence surrounding him.

“Thank you.” He whispers.

You try to look at his face to talk him out of “thanking you” but you’re suddenly pushed back into the mattress, covered by his whole body.

“Now let’s do this right, shall we?”

“Sane- Oh, fuck!” His fingers start to play on your clit without a warning, pressing down on your skin, almost making spread your legs with no other thought in your head.

His pace is savage, delicious, bringing you closer to the edge only for him to stop, delighting himself with the way you squirm under him, noting how he was the first man to make you feel this way.

Soon, one of his fingers looks for your entrance, moving cautiously until he finds it, then, he curves.

“Mhmmm…!”

“Yes, right there, love, isn’t it?” He gives you a sided smile, taking a much faster rhythm and adding a second finger a moment later, opening you for him. “I’m gonna need you to tell me if something doesn’t feel right when I put it in, okay?”

You nod, biting down your lip. His words were like an echo comparing to the felling overflowing all of your senses. However, instead of positioning right, your master continued with his finger inside of you, pulsing every time harder and harder.

“Sanemi… It’s okay, I can ~ah~ do it now…”

He shakes his head. His pupils almost take the entirety of his eyes by now, looking down at you when he says:

“I need you as relaxed as possible. I don’t want to hurt you, Flame… So I need to take one out of you first.”

His left hand comes down on your throat, deliciously squeezing, as a third finger joins the pair inside of you and his thumb takes over your clit. It soon becomes too much to bear and you can’t say no more than “yes” every time a new motion brings closer and closer to your ecstasy.

And it comes sooner than expected: crashing, destructive all over your body, making you grip fiercely to Sanemi’s arms, arching your back on senseless movements.

“That’s right, little flame.” His praising words drawn another moan from you, taking you back from your orgasm sweet and gentle. Two words you couldn’t believe, described the Wind Hashira. “Do you feel good now?”

You nod, closed eyes and sloppy smile.

“Yeah.” You grant. He steals another kiss and looks at you in the eyes. “Come here, Sanemi…”

As you share a deeper kiss he finally positions between your legs, still playing softly with your clit, and pressing the tip into your entrance. You gasp to his mouth and his tongue takes the chance to come down in you, letting you taste the salt and forest in him.

Sanemi starts to slide in, bruising grip on your hips when he groans, murmuring under his breath “you’re tight…”. The sting that comes along alerts your senses, but the feeling clouds them again. The pain and the pleasure had never been in such a close line before.

“I’m… Oh, god- I’m gonna start moving now, okay?” His head is beside yours and his breathing sends shivers down your spine.

You lift your legs, interlacing them around his waist when you nod.

Slowly, he exits you only half of his shaft, and pushes in again. Both of you gasp at the feeling. Your nails look for his skin one more time, burying themselves and leaving furious red marks on him as he repeats this movement enough times for you to accustom his size.

That was seven minutes ago.

Now that you have given him green flag to start moving as he wished so, now he was on his knees and your hips lifted up to him, with both of his hands holding you up by the waist as he thrusted into you in what it seemed an unstoppable pace.

Your moans were loud, specially since, on a particularly hard thrust that made you clench on him, Sanemi had growled and bitted down your shoulder, hurting the skin but sending you on another uncontrollable orgasm.

You don’t think you can take one more.

“Don’t close your eyes, flame. Look at me.” He takes by the chin, forcing you to lock gazes with him. He grins and you can feel him starting to squeeze on your throat again. “Mhm! Fuck, you like that, don’t you?, I know you like it because you squeeze me down here… and you moan, shit, you moan so sweet, little flame.”

“Sanemi…” You whimper, arching your back and pressing your fingers on his biceps, giving him exactly what he needed.

“I’m gonna cum, love. Oh- I’m gonna…”

“Inside.” You bring your arms around his neck when your back finally meets the mattress again and his body comes closer to yours.

“I-I can’t, flame. We can’t.”

He’s not lying. He might be dying to impregnate you and get his seed deep into you, hell, he can get completely turned on only with the thought of fucking a baby into your tummy, but…

You shake your head, pleasure clouding your reasonable brain when your legs find their own way to lock behind Sanemi, mumbling one more time “inside”

Well, fuck it.

The white haired resumes his brutal thrusts, continuing brushing your clit with the thumb of his right hand and pressing down your throat with his left.

He edges you for some more minutes, keeping you moaning into his ear and screaming his name as he wished so; but finally, his hips start to lose control and the big dom man above you soon turns into a mess of grunts and low whimpers almost asking you to make him cum.

“Oh, please, please, pleaseeeee… Fuck!, Ah! Fuck… So-so good.”

You wished you could have laugh at the moans of your master, but you weren’t in an exactly better state right now. If worst, you could barely speak and your legs were trembling intensely with your tummy still having spasms every three seconds, bringing another gasp out of you.

Sanemi moved out of you and to your side like a big cat that had been just fed and was ready to take a deserved nap.

“Are you okay?, how are you feeling?” His arm comes under your body, bringing you closer to him.

“I’m okay, how are you feeling?” You repeat, concern still hidden in your voice. Was he still in pain?

“I’ll survive.” He smiles, tilting his head, but the answer doesn’t sit right on you and he can almost immediately tell. “I’m okay now, Flame. I swear. Believe, if a need another little dosis of help, I’ll let you know.”

This time it’s you who breaks into a smile, smacking his chest playfully while you shake your head. At the action, he throws his head back, laughing with his eyes closed. He had never felt this happy before, he didn’t remember how good it felt. To love. To be loved.

It is really here.

And you have never seen such a beautiful thing before. If you could burn into your pupils a permanent image for the rest of your life, this would be it.

To want to hold something forever.

“Sleep, little flame, we have a big journey tomorrow.”

You are already yawning as he speaks, nodding and not even protesting at his words. Your legs were jelly, your vocal cords sore and the tiredness of the fight was finally catching up to you.

“Mhm-mhm, good night, Sanemi.”

He grins, placing the covers on top of both you.

“Good night, love.”

His lips pressed on your forehead are the last thing you feel before finally surrendering to your heavy eyelids, but you can still swear you hear the soft and lovely laugh of that little demon somewhere out there.

She’s glad you’re happy.

You’re glad she’s finally in a place where she can be too.

#kimetsu no yaiba x reader #sanemi smut #sanemi x reader #sanemi imagines #demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #sanemi x you #kny sanemi #sanemi x y/n #sanemi headcanons #demon slayer headcanons #wind hashira #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi shinaguzawa x reader #hashira x reader #kimetsu no yaiba