#or that at the very least i might end up taking two pills instead of one

[helluvapoison]

Crystal Clear

Zestial x Reader

warning: lil violence, probably inaccurate old english

Consider yourself lucky to find yourself under Zestial’s good graces and watchful eyes. While he sends you bottles of delicious, ancient wine and carnivorous flowers, others are on the opposite end. That’s what Alastor tells you at least and he refuses to elaborate. While you’re curious to know what could be the opposite of flowers, you think your imagination might be an easier pill to swallow than the truth.

You’ve long since agreed to go on that promenade with the Overlord (which you’ve found out means a walk by a lake) but Zestial, according to the notes on the recent bouquet of grey roses, “hasn’t known a moment’s peace” for a month now. His cursive is flawless with accentuated strokes and curls that take up the entire card. You wanted to thank him for all the gifts but a call felt impersonal… and something told you he didn’t own a phone.

A letter would probably suffice except you weren’t sure where to send it. Alastor continued to be no help. At first it struck you as odd because you thought the two of them were friends but that’s on you, you should have known Alastor doesn’t have friends. So you set out to Zestial’s corner of The Pride Ring. It was old fashioned like Cannibal Town but not nearly as nice.

By that, you mean the people are just as shitty as they are everywhere else in Hell.

Not even two steps over the invisible threshold and you’re shoved into the side of a building, cool brick meeting your shoulder hard. You move to give the jerk a silent “fuck you” at the very least, raising your middle finger as she bolts away from you. Two steps the same, she’s dragged into an alley by a shadow.

“Pray tell,” A familiar voice, so smooth and close, drowns out the nearby screaming. Zestial himself steals your attention and your breath. You don’t even have time to wonder where he came from.

“Doth thyn own eyes deceive? A firefly has entered the web of a spider by thous own accord? Thy had not expected this turn of events. What brings thee to my web this hellish day?”

“Oh! I wanted to thank you for all the presents you sent.” You explain, patting your pockets for the envelope addressed to him.

Humming, his eyes roam across his name as he gingerly takes the pink paper. He doesn’t open it then, instead bringing into the abyss of his coat where it disappears from your sight.

“The pleasure belongs entirely to thyn own self,” Zestial says politely, his smile disappearing as he speaks, “Oh how outrageous thou must be, for thou has been generously patient. Apologies, firefly. Thyst swears this will not happen twice.”

You tilted your head, brows pulling together as you deciphered Zestial’s words. When it settles in you’re quick to hold up your hands. You’re so quick to fix things, you missed his pet name again.

“I—Oh! No, I’m not upset! I understand you’re busy.”

This pleases Zestial immensely, his smile returning and etching across his face once more.

“Thous kindness continues. Please, allow thy to return thee from whence thou came. Thyn would be remiss should something happen to thee.” He paused, voice dropping as he glared over his shoulder, “Twice.”

Zestial swiftly offers his arm to you when you try to see what he was looking at. A part of you did know he was sparing you a gruesome sight… the other part didn’t care as much as you should.

Falling into step with the Overlord, you’re suddenly aware of how much labor he’s putting into walking at your pace. It looks effortless enough. He practically glides as he walks anyhow. Still, it didn’t go unnoticed by you. Despite slightly delving into his frustrations (via cards) about how busy he was, he seemed in no rush to return to his territory to deal with whatever it may be.

“I looked up what promenade means, by the way,” You say eventually, though the silence between you both was comfortable enough, “I’d officially like to accept your invitation now. When work slows down for you, of course.”

Zestial chuckles, looking straight ahead, “Thyn has been working tirelessly to ensure uninterrupted time with thee. Much like this, only with a more suitable location for such a sweet soul as thou.”

“Tirelessly, huh? Don’t forget to take breaks,” You chastise playfully.

“In thys undead existence, thyn has come to be sure that there is no time for breaks. Change is constant and quick. Thyn is forced to adapt when thyn does not wish to or thy will be left a—how did one say? A relic.”

Now it was your turn to frown.

“Someone said that to you?”

His amusement remained alive as ever despite the terrible insult.

“Fret not. There shan’t be much for one to say any longer.”

You cross your arms and nod firmly.

“Howevermore, mayhaps there was truth in one’s words. It appears to thy, that the more thyst resists the ever growing changes of this modern day, the farther thyst casts thys own self into darkness.” Zestial sighs and trails off towards the end, “Tis a rather lonely existence.”

Slowly, you nod your head. It takes a minute to translate what he said and another to respond but Zestial is nothing if not patient.

“Change is constant,” You begrudgingly agree.

He hums in appreciation, “Precisely.”

“But it doesn’t have to be lonely if you don’t want it to be. You have Carmilla and—” You hesitate which caught his attention.

“And?”

“Well, I was going to say me. If you want, that is.”

Zestial chuckles. It’s a dark, raspy sound that makes your bones vibrate and sends a shiver throughout your body.

“Thy would be honored to call thoust a friend.. for the time being. Thy can only be content in the darkness for so long now that light has been seen. Thoust will inevitably succumb to a courtship, thyself assures thee.”

“You lost me a little bit,” You replied, dipping your hand from side to side in a so-so motion.

The green of his eyes shrink upwards in amusement yet again. Zestial straightens, looking around as if debating something he doesn’t feel inclined to share this time. You show him the same courtesy he showed you and waited for him to gather his thoughts.

“As commerce for such a divine outing, and solidifying our enriching conversation, thoust will be repaid in kind. Just this once.” Zestial declares, holding up a single, slender finger from his coat, “You and I are much alike, dear firefly, we shall not be easily discouraged from our desires.”

He holds out his hand and waits for yours to join. It’s not a perfect fit, his fingers could wrap around yours two times over, but it feels nice. Zestisl is oddly warm with soft palms and an unfailingly gentle grip. Bowing, he kisses your knuckles like he did the first time,

“Until next time. Thy will count the seconds,” He says quietly.

You don’t realize there’s an audience until he sinks into the cracks on the ground and absconds from your view. If you’re honest, you didn’t catch quite a bit from the last few minutes. You’re still stuck in the web of time where Zestial said he desired you. At least you think that’s what he said. Funny, even when he says it in layman’s terms you’re still not sure what Zestial meant.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #zestial imagine #zestial x reader #zestial headcanon #hazbin hotel zestial

[multific]

Wanted and Needed

Deckard Shaw x Reader

Warnings: mention of smut, pregnancy 

Summary: It was only meant to be one night. But of course, it is never that easy.

The way he looked at you always sent shivers down your spine. He made you feel so good about yourself.

And then, during a race, he stepped over to you and whispered into your ear.

"I will win for you." he said before getting into his car.

You could only blink and watch as he indeed, won.

Being a long member of the team, you had your opinions on Deckard in the beginning but you were quickly smitten by his looks and charm. 

He looked too good in his suit.

He won and he took you home that same evening.

That night changed your entire life.

It was truly meant to be a fling.

A nice fuck and done.

He made you feel incredible, you never felt so good with anyone ever.

But when the morning came, he was gone. Even the bed was cold.

And so, you knew that your hopes for a round two in the morning were ruined.

But as you found out soon, during your monthly doctor's check-up, Deckard Shaw might have left a bit more than just his necktie in your place.

"Congratulations, you are pregnant."

All you could do is let out a long sigh.

Pregnant.

Because of fucking course.

Why not?

Like, you were totally ready to be a mom... IF you wanted to be one to begin with.

And now... you are going to have a baby because Deckard Shaw was too handsome so you lied about being on pills... great you were going to be a mother while being this stupid.

Awesome.

First things first, you decided not to tell Deckard. The others also didn't know, you told them you are moving for a fresh start.

Which was kind of true. Dom was the only one who saw right through you and the only one who knew about the baby.

He, of course, supported you in every way he could.

You moved to a new town into a small house. It was perfect for you and your baby.

Perfect for you to freak out 24/7 about how you are going to be a bad mom, trying to read books while throwing up.

Fun.

Buying stuff for the baby, trying not to cry at every cute little sock you see.

Being pregnant was extremely challenging. 

Who knew?!

According to your new doctor, everything was going very well with your baby, you even learned that you will be having a little girl, so now, you were full-on princess mode.

But your worry never stopped.

And as your belly grew, so did your worries.

Deep down you also knew that you shouldn't worry, it wasn't good for the baby, but you couldn't help it.

You let out a long sigh, and finally, during the last two months you decided that you are going to be the best mom, you for sure will try.

You promised yourself that you will be good. Then you promised your baby that you will be good.

When you went into labour, you let your instincts take over instead of panic.

Giving birth was an entirely new level of pain. But you kept reminding yourself to just push and breathe. 

It will be all worth it.

And it did.

Your daughter was born perfect.

Healthy and beautiful.

You gave her a beautiful name, Olivia.

Olivia looked much like her father, her eyes were a dead telltale sign. She couldn't even deny even if she wanted to that she was indeed Deckard Shaw's little girl.

You often wondered what Deckard was doing... probably a blonde. Dom often gave you calls to check up on you, which you appreciated, you even sent him photos of Liv.

Liv was a rather fussy baby. She liked things her way, not yours. But she loved to sleep.

Even with her crib in your room, she barely woke up.

Her fussy period ended in her third week. From then on, he became an extremely interested little girl. Everything and anything in your house had to be at least licked once. But she caused you so much happiness.

Dom wanted to come over and meet the newest addition to the family, he promised it would be only him.

"Look, Livie! It's Uncle Dom." Olivia was at first a bit taken aback by the stranger but she soon got used to him. "She mainly eats and sleeps, but she is very interested in everything," you told to Dom as he had her in his arms.

"She is beautiful," he said and you could sense in his voice, he wanted to say more but decided against it. "Deckard was looking for you. I heard he asked the others about you, he even called Luke."

"Dom..."

"I know, I know why you did what you did. But don't you think he deserves to know that he has a daughter?"

"When I found out, I tried to call him. But he never called back. To me, that was clear, he didn't want anything to do with me. And I'm okay with that. I have her now." Dom nodded. 

At the end of the day, Dom left waving you goodbye.

It was honestly amazing to see him, he talked a lot about the others and how they miss you.

You knew that one day you will have to face them, not yet, but someday.

Liv was sleeping in her room, it was midafternoon when the doorbell rang.

You headed to open it.

As soon as you locked eyes with him, your heart stopped.

You immediately closed the door in his face.

He knocked again.

"Sweetheart, open the door please." he said.

"Just a moment!"

Just what in the fuck was Deckard doing here? Did Dom tell him? No. He had to find out on his own. You tried your best to hide any evidence about your baby, hiding the toys and the pictures.

When you opened the door again, and let him in, you were panicking.

"I've been looking for you, could have used your skills for a mission."

Ah, of course. You were rather disappointed.

"I don't work, Deckard."

"I know, everyone keeps telling me that you retired."

"I did."

"Why?"

"I was tired of it." what a lie. How could you ever get tired of being a badass?

There was a moment of silence. You watched him think before he spoke up.

"You disappeared... the only way I could find you was through Dom."

"You tracked his car?"

"Of course, I have been looking for you for almost a year and a half now. 14 months."

"I had my reasons. And you left the next day, so I don't see why you would care where I went after."

"I'm not good with this... emotions and whatnot."

"Right. Thank you for the visit." you said pointing at your door and to your surprise, he left without any fuss.

"If you need help, I put my number into your phone."

"I won't." you closed and locked the door behind him, finally letting out a sigh. 

This was bad. Very bad.

You couldn't move again, it would only be a matter of time for him to find you.

You thought long and hard. So he hacked Dom's phone and didn't check his messages? He didn't know about Olivia? What was happening?

You needed some fresh air, so when Liv woke up from her nap, you decided to take a walk with her in the neighbourhood, heading to the park. You could also use the fresh air and the time to think.

Thankfully Liv was in a great mood. She loved being outdoors. You stopped by a bench and sat down, having her in her stroller, she was sitting, looking around with big bright eyes, taking in the pigeons and the trees.

No matter how many times you were in the park, she always looked so excited and interested, even in the things she had seen many many times before.

She then motioned for you, asking to be picked up. She cooed as her hands made grabbing motions. 

You smiled and picked her up.

Bounding her a little you smiled as she grabbed your necklace, pulling on it.

How could she be so strong?!

She then pointed at the pigeons.

"Pigeon." you told her as she cooed once more. You thought this was too cute. It was as if she was trying to say pigeon but couldn't. Then she pointed at a figure. "That's a man." you said as she was focused on the man.

Then you looked up, finally realizing who the man was.

Deckard.

Fuck.

Shit.

Without a word, you stood up and tried to walk away. Liv was rather confused you could tell but she didn't mind the sudden change in pace too much.

Then suddenly he was in front of you, you pulled Liv to your chest, your other hand tightening around the handle of the stroller. 

"Deckard..."

"You have a child." he sounded way too calm.

"I-I do." you watched as his eyes roamed all over your daughter, particularly her face. There was no denying the fact that she was his.

"Who's the father?" you felt so powerless. You have not felt like this in a very long time.

"Deckard..." you tried to collect your thoughts. Thoughts you have been telling yourself for two years now. "You left. The next morning, you were gone."

"Jesus, Lass. And you think what? That I don't want to know about my daughter?" 

"You didn't want me, why would you want her?"

"I woke up to make breakfast but got a call-" you put your hand up.

"I tried to call you, you didn't call me back."

"I have no excuse. I fucked that up. But I deserve to know that I have a child."

"You treated me like shit. I got the message, you didn't want anything from me but a quick time. I don't see why you would care about Liv."

"I do." he said with a calm voice. "I care. I spent all this time, trying to find you. I asked the others, no one knew. But I soon realized that you and Dom were closer, so you must have told him. I tracked his phone and... I came here to find you but I could have never imagined... her."

It was hard for you to believe that he cared. But he looked genuine. 

It wasn't until Olivia broke the silence with a small whine when you looked at her, again, she was pointing at something.

"It's a dog, Love." then you looked back at Deckard. "Look, I really don't need... your money. It's okay, truly. I just... You left."

"I did. And I regret not leaving at least a text message. I regret it every day."

"I-Come by tomorrow. We will talk while she naps." Deckard nodded before he watched you leave.

---

Little did you know that Deckard basically slept in his car to make sure you wouldn't run off.

And you didn't.

In the early afternoon, he once again stood at the door, he could hear the cries coming from inside.

Deckard knocked, he watched the door open to ajar.

"Come in!" you said as he headed in, closing and locking the door behind himself. "She just won't settle. I'll take her to her room, I'll be back."

"Can I help?" he asked as you let out a huff. 

"Oh, I don't think. Sometimes she is just like this." you said as you walked to the back of the house into her room. Deckard followed you, watching as you cried to calm her.

It did work a little, but now Olivia was watching the stranger in her room. 

She motioned for Deckard as if she wanted to be held by him.

"I don't think he wants to hold you baby."

"I do." his reply came in so fast it almost scared you.

"Okay." you headed over to him.

"I want to but how do I?" you showed him just how to hold her as you watched her reaction. As soon as she was in his arms, she stopped fussing, gripping his shirt, she closed her eyes. "When she falls asleep, put her to her bed." you said as you pointed at the small bed. "And the blanket over her." Deckard nodded.

You decided to leave them alone, as you were leaving you stopped in the doorway.

"If you run off with her... Nothing will stop me."

"I'm not going to kidnap her from you." he said, rolling his eyes. You nodded once before leaving and having some lunch finally. 

Deckard could only watch this tiny human in his arms. Was a beauty she was. She looked exactly like her mother, but she did have his eyes. 

He did as you asked him, put her into her bed and put her pink blanket over her.

Deckard watched her for a couple of minutes but soon left her room, letting the little girl sleep. 

"She is almost five months old." you said as he appeared, you just finished your lunch. "A true gift."

"She looks like you."

"I think she looks more like you."

"How was the... pregnancy?"

"Challenging. I was sick very often so they had to give me meds. Then she decided to come early. I was terrified."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be silly, you didn't know."

"But now, I'm here."

"I left because I was scared. So scared. First I wanted to tell you. I truly did. But I got scared that you would tell me to... leave her. I will be honest I wasn't ready to be a mother, I am still trying to figure out how I should go about this but... if you are willing to try, I-I want to give you a chance so you could see her."

Deckard didn't even need to think. The moment he saw the little girl in your arms in the park, he knew.

"I want to be a part of her life. I want you to move to London to live with me. That way we can raise her together."

"You know I always wanted to live there..."

"I do know. I hope my offer will tempt you enough so you say yes."

That sly little bastard. But you let out a long sigh.

"I appreciate it Deckard, I truly do, and I'm happy that you want to be a part of our daughter's life. But... it's not like... it's not like we were in a relationship or something. I don't think us moving in together would be a good idea. You are welcome to visit her anytime."

Deckard was rather taken aback, he thought you might jump into the opportunity. 

"I understand." he said and he truly did. He was only hoping you would. "I will come visit tomorrow," he said as he headed for the door, you waved him goodbye.

That night, you couldn't sleep.

You kept thinking about what Deckard said. While living with him didn't sound terrible and you could use the help with Liv. 

It was now your stubbornness and fear holding you back.

You loved Deckard too much. Which one could argue with, given how you ran away with a baby, but it was the truth.

You didn't want to disappoint him, you didn't want for him to live a life which he might regret later. 

But you were ready to give him a chance, you were ready for him to decide what he wanted.

The next morning, he arrived early. You were in the middle of feeding when there was a knock.

"You are early," you said as you let him in. "I'm feeding her, wait here." he sat down on your couch, but after a minute, he couldn't sit any longer.

He walked to your room, and he found you, back to the door as you breastfed your daughter. 

As if you felt his presence, you turned and saw him. His eyes never left you, and he started to walk into the room.

You felt exposed, but you didn't mind it. He ran his hand over Olivia's head. He sat down next to you on the bed.

"The doctor said babies are supposed to be chubby. She often said that Liv is very healthy. She will get her vaccines once I stop breastfeeding. But you see, I just have so much milk... The doctor said I can donate it. Which is like super weird to me, but she said some mother's can't produce milk so... oh sorry, you probably don't want to hear any of that."

"I want to know everything." you looked into his eyes, but he was watching Liv.

"Okay, ummm, she was born three weeks earlier than she should have. She spent time in the hospital after. But she is all good now. She loves the outdoors and animals. She is very interested. Dom once said he will buy a dog for her once she is old enough." Deckard made a face at that, the thought of another man giving things to his daughter, things he should.

"And how was the... birth?"

"Oh, terrible, thank you for asking. I had to drive to the hospital, it was awful, I was bleeding and in pain. I was... very scared." Deckard looked at you. "I thought I lost her." he could see the tears in your eyes.

"But you didn't." he said to comfort you.

"I didn't."

"I like her name, where did you get it from?" 

"It was in a children's book that I got for her while I was pregnant. I really liked the name so... do you really like it?" he nodded. For that moment you felt at ease. You looked down at your daughter as Deckard pulled you closer to his side, arms moving around you as he pulled you to his chest, his head on your shoulder, he placed a kiss on your skin.

Soon, Olivia stopped eating and you grabbed a cloth. you made a face.

"Why are you in a suit?" you asked Deckard who looked down at his attire.

"I wanted to look good for my girls."

"Well, then get ready to have saliva all over it." you said as you placed the cloth on his shoulder, then you handed him Liv. "Wait until she burps, then place her into her bed, I'll make breakfast, I'm starving." 

You weren't sure what just happened. The way he held you was so delicate.

You tried to tell yourself that he only did it for Liv, but he didn't.

You know he didn't.

You just finished breakfast when Deckard came to join you.

"She's sleeping." he said.

"I have this." you said as you handed him an album. "All of her ultrasound pictures, pictures a day after she was born are in there. It's the only one I have but if you want, you can keep one picture of her."

"I want you both to live with me. It would be the safest. I know what you said. And I cannot help but think about what would have happened if that day I left a note or never left at all. I keep thinking about it."

You stood up and headed to the living room when Deckard spoke up, making you stop in the hallway.

"It would have been different. But we will never know. We have to focus on now. You want us to live close to you, and I want you to have a relationship with her." he joined you in the hallway, standing so close you could barely think.

"The very first thing you told me is that I didn't want you so why would I want her, but Y/N, I wanted you for so long. Long before we even went to that race. Long before that night. I wanted you for so long now. I still want you. Not because of Olivia, but because of you. And how could I not want her? She is my daughter, our daughter." he took a step closer to you, closing the distance as his hand came to rest on your cheek.

"Deckard, I always had a huge crush on you. But... I'm done with this whole dancing around one another. You want us and we need you. Livie needs you, I need you. We will move to London." you saw his eyes shine as he leaned down to give you a kiss.

Finally, you two were together, finally, you had what you always wanted. Finally, your daughter had her father.

---

"A view of the Big Ben." you said as you stood in front of the window, looking out with your daughter on your hip.

"Yes, the view in this apartment is great, it is truly royal if I might say." the woman said as she joined you, but of course she would say these things, she had to sell the place.

The view was nice, but something about the windows made you feel exposed. Could be because they were from the floor up to the ceiling.

"What do you think?" Deckard joined you and the woman left to give you some time. You made a face and Deckard knew. "We looked at eight apartments, you didn't like any..."

"It's not that they are not good. It's just... off."

"Okay, then we will look until we find the one."

"Can we... maybe we could look at houses a bit out of London? Like a cottage?" he looked at you confused.

"Cottage?" then he realized perhaps you want a house similar to the one you had before you moved in with him. "Okay, I think I know what you want." he said as he turned to the lady.

---

Your eyes were shining from the moment you closed the car's door. You even forgot to get Olivia from the backseat, you felt like you were in a dream.

"Decks..."

"This house, while from the outside it is more traditional, on the inside it just had been renovated and renewed. It has solar panels built into the roof, it has a garden in the back as well as in the front. It is a bit more secluded but it does have neighbours. Come on in I will show you around." the lady continued the tour. "Fire bedrooms, two office rooms, a lovely spacious living room and a kitchen. The back garden might need a bit of terraforming but the space is given for any flowers or trees. Perfect place for your little one to run around and have her friends over for a birthday party perhaps."

You loved it, and Deckard knew you loved it.

"This is the one." you said when you finally looked at him, coming back from your dream. "Perfect for us and if we want more kids, we have the room. You can have a gym even and I can have an office to work from. This is just perfect, do you like it?"

Deckard smiled, deciding to not bring it up that you just in fact mentioned more children.

"I love it." he said and you didn't even waste time, you signed the papers.

---

One morning you sat out on the balcony, enjoying the morning sun as Deckard and Livie were asleep.

You truly loved this house. It was different from your previous house and Deckard's apartment, but at the same time, it looked like both.

You heard the door open and as you saw Deckard walk out with his coffee in hand you pointed at a part of the garden.

"I want to put a flowerbed there. And some hydrangeas over there."

"Sounds good to me."

"And we could get an inflatable pool for Livie, for the summer. I'm sure she will love it."

"Perfect." you looked at him as he smiled at you.

"What?" you asked.

"You look happy. It makes me happy."

"It's just... feels nice to be wanted." 

"I think it's more need. Like you said Livie needs me, and I need the two of you." you reached out to him as he held your hand. "I love you."

"I love you too," you said as you caught a glimpse of the beautiful diamond on your finger.

He was all you ever wanted and needed.

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~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

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[episims]

Improved Biotech Station

This project started as an edit of simler90's Biotech Station mod but I ended up changing, fixing, and adding so much stuff that I feel comfortable calling this its own thing completely.

This mod improves the existing Biotech Station mechanisms, adds some interactions it lacked, makes medicine more useful, polishes virus crafting, and replaces medicine and virus vials with pill bottles that are sensible to sell at owned businesses.

Plenty of details and the download link under the cut.

Make medicine. Worry not, it can't cause catching the mysterious disease anymore. Medicine can be made by teens or older sims with at least 3 logic. Children and sims with less than 3 logic can make it if someone who meets the requirements is teaching them.

Medicine can be taken by sick sims teen or older, given to a sick sim (children included) by another sim, sold instantly, or sold at an owned business. It comes in two types:

Moderate medicine (light blue bottle) sells for §100. It instantly cures food poisoning and a cold, and is a pretty efficient treatment for the flu as well, although some additional rest might still be needed. Several bottles of it are needed to cure pneumonia.

Strong medicine (dark blue bottle) sells for §300. It instantly cures any disease except the mysterious one and is usually pretty efficient against that too.

Which medicine you get from crafting depends on your sim's logic skill, mood, hygiene level, and pure luck. Getting the strong version is rare even with high logic. I also added the possibility to make medicine in bulk. When made so, the bottles go directly into the sim's (or the business lot owner's) inventory. Failed attempts add there an empty bottle worth §0.

The relationship between sims is checked when giving medicine to someone. Basically sims won't accept medicine from total strangers or someone they don't like. If the sim refuses the offered medicine, it will cause a hit on their relationship, while accepting boosts it.

Make virus. Teens or older sims with at least 8 logic can also make virus, but they'll risk catching the mysterious disease by doing so. Virus doesn't require the sim taking it to be sick and can be otherwise utilized in the same ways as medicine but can't be sold at an owned business. There are two types:

Moderate virus (light green bottle) sells for §200. It randomly infects either food poisoning, a cold, or the flu.

Strong virus (dark green bottle) sells for §400. It infects the mysterious disease.

Which one you'll get follows the same logic as with medicine. You can make virus in bulk as well. The virus made with Biotech Station uses its own code for infecting sims so even those usually immune to diseases will get ill from directly consuming it.

When giving virus to someone, it requires a good relationship with the giver for the sim to accept. The interaction will cause a hit on their relationship no matter what the outcome is.

Practice. Children or older sims can use Biotech Station for building logic without crafting anything. Since the unmodded skilling with it was super cheaty, I toned it down so that it's now only slightly faster than with non-reward objects. The object still also grants science enthusiasm (these apply to making medicide/virus as well).

If you read all the way to here, congrats! *passes out from explaining*

Download (SFS) (alternate)

The file is compressed. OFB is definitely required but the mod has only been tested with all the EPs. If you experience any problems with the mod, please let me know! It's pretty complex so it's very possible that we missed something.

Additional recommended mods: The buyable career rewards can be found here.

Simler90's grandma's comfort soup mod stops the soup from insta-curing and makes getting medicine instead a lot more alluring.

I also recommend using either my edit of simler90's disease mod or their version of it (from the link above) for sims to be able to get pneumonia. Kestrellyn's pneumonia fix is an alternative, too.

If you want to use this mod together with LimeYoshi's antibodies after sickness, check the updates below for the details.

Updates:

6.3.2024 added Portuguese translation.

3.1.2024 updated the antibodies version to work with LimeyYoshi's update to that mod.

19.6.2023 now there's a version that makes the medicine made with this biotech station work correctly with LimeyYoshi's antibodies after sickness mod. If you pick that version make sure to get LimeyYoshi's mod too, it's required for the compatible version to work! If you use my edit of simler90's disease mod, LimeyYoshi's compatible version with simler90's mod works with my edit as well.

3.3.2023 fixed an error that occurred when giving medicine to a child. Changed it so that virus can't be given to children anymore. Fixed an issue with the pop-up messages, now they show correctly if the sim is healthy or not even when the sim has multiple diseases before taking medicine.

6.8.2022 added Brazilian Portuguese and Hungarian translations.

3.8.2022 added Polish, Spanish, and Finnish translations and ensured that UK English always uses the correct text strings. Toned down the skilling speed some more.

Full credit to simler90 for their Biotech Station mod that I used as a base. Additional credit to Nixy for the pill bottle.

Special thanks to @jellymeduza for sending me the earlier version of simler90's mod and to @deedee-sims for all the cheering and help with the testing!

#ts2 #ts2cc #sims 2 #s2cc #the sims 2 #the sims 2 download #dl mods #dl default #so very long post #but it was so very long project too #did you see this post last night? #you must've been dreaming #or i must've been tired

[owmylasagna-blog]

Headcanon: I guess post-BPS, Eddy would be really depressed and in a indetity crisis for at very least two weeks (it's too much of a drastic change to him), Edd would do his best to be a sensitive, empathetic friend and help him out while struggling with his own flaws and his bitchy side (I figure they would stop bickering SO THAT MUCH after BPS, at least for a while). tbh I guess Ed would be too happy making friends with the kids or rebulting a sibling relationship with Sarah to notice for some while (He always had been somewhat oblivious to the others' problems, and I figure him being the most popular, beloved, accepted one post-BPS).

What do you think?

Oh yes let’s talk about it! I could see quite a lot of what you’ve mentioned happening for sure. I’m just gonna go into more detail because I can’t help myself and you asked so…

BPS obviously is meant to be THE groundbreaking moment for Eddy’s character. So let’s get into it.

Eddy is a survivor of abuse. And a fighter. He’s got a little of that Childhood Trauma™️ and it does in fact “build [his] character”. See what I did there? Anyway, the point is that just because Eddy has this major turning point, his trauma isn’t going anywhere overnight.

Rachel Connor, one of the writers of the movie who worked specifically on the scenes with Bro, wrote a post where she described Eddy as the Great Pretender which… BIG OOF! As the show progresses Eddy loses sight of who he is more and more as he digs himself deeper into the Bro hole: emulating him more, wanting to impress him more, lying about him more (or perpetuating lies. Who knows!). The whole Great Pretender act isn’t exactly fulfilling. It’s putting more stress on his actual friendships with his pals. His depression in the 5th season (@book-o-scams has written about this) feels like a result of all this.

So when Eddy’s scam goes so horribly wrong that he and his friends are run out of PC, he almost loses Edd’s friendship, only to get publicly abused by his big bro, Eddy is faced with the reality of the person he could become. And that’s when he knows it has to end. This epiphany should be liberating for him in some ways but also sets off a whole self discovery journey. Of course he’d feel a little lost at the start, trying out lots of different versions of himself, before ultimately embracing his multifaceted self into adulthood. Aren’t we all a little lost in our teen years?

After all he’s been through with his brother, the guy has major trust issues. It's clear that Eddy is anxious to belong and be popular, but attempting to fleece the other kids for quarters at every turn isn’t exactly the best way of making friends (except that it’s a bonding activity with the other Eds). And that feels intentional whether he’s conscious of it or not, that what he’s really after is status instead of acceptance. Because if he doesn’t get too close with others he can’t get hurt. Trust issues are really hard to shake. That’s always going to impact his relationships and specifically his interactions with the other kids immediately following the events of BPS. It’s going to take him years to work through that. And I think he will, with time, get better at trusting and getting close to others.

My interpretation is that Eddy would be pretty bummed and depressed for a while despite all the new acceptance from his other peers, just because he’s having to analyze his own behavior more, question his relationship with his bro, with his family at large, with his best friends, with everyone else around him. I often add a layer of him struggling with the realization he might be gay during the year or two following the events of BPS, and that's not the easiest pill for him to swallow either. I think he’d still put up walls to protect himself and try to find ways to be liked and accepted, to be entertaining or prove himself. I don’t see him immediately being as outgoing with the other cul-se-sac kids as he is within the Eds, but I think at his core he is actually a cool and interesting guy and that comes through. On the flip side, I think he’d mostly work on being more honest and vulnerable with Edd and Ed in the months and years following which just strengthens their bonds more and together they learn to be better people to each other! Woohoo!

We’re moving on: Edd. BPS is a trial of his friendship with Eddy and they came out the other side much more sympathetic to one another. The tension that grows between them during the series run is as much a result of Eddy’s desperation as it is a result of Edd’s anxiety getting way worse. So yes, where I do see Edd helping Eddy through some of his depression following BPS, I also see Eddy helping ground Edd with some of his own issues that are percolating to the surface more. Just two little emo outcasts being there for eachother. Couldn’t be a recipe for a little gay awakening. No chance. (I’m being sarcastic, y’all. You know my schtick). I still think they’d bicker, though. Like a lot. It’s just core to their personalities. Fights just wouldn’t come to blows in the same way. It’s a lot harder to stay mad when you can see the clearly labeled buttons you’re pushing, you know?

Outside of his relationship to Eddy, Edd also seems to be shifting away from being blindly obedient towards authority like in the series. Nothing like seeing a man-child beat on an actual child to really wreck your world view. Up until that point, Edd is a textbook rule follower. I think there is an interesting perspective shift, seeing the world as Eddy has, that will shake his idealism and optimism ever so slightly. Thus starting a tiny little rebellious streak. Again, can’t reiterate enough that turning 13 is such a bitch. The mental toil.

Ed. Oh, Ed. Ed kinda has his whole thing figured out already. I sometimes describe Ed’s heroic act in BPS as him getting his brain back a bit after the school season episodes. I think the kid just dissociates especially hard when he is at school which makes him seem extra random in these episodes. We all gotta cope somehow. Anyway, I do also weirdly think Ed would get on with the other cul-de-sac kids pretty well on his own: he already has decent rapport with the likes of Jonny and Rolf so it would be interesting to see these relationships explored more. In the show he already seems the floater type. Maybe Ed becomes Jonny’s only friend when he becomes the new “outcast” of the cul-de-sac.

I think his consistency is really going to help Edd and Eddy through whatever ups and downs they go through. He’s the type to lighten the mood or give a sympathetic ear or listen to a rant without judgment. He has and always will accept them just as they are, and himself just as he is, and that does wonders for the group’s morale. Also, with Eddy dialing back on the Bro act I can see Ed also being kinder (he’s often feeding off the bad examples) and really embracing the surrogate big brother role for Eddy. I’d love for that relationship to be strengthened more too, and Ed to come to his defense and protection more readily in the way he does with Sarah. At first it would probably annoy Eddy to no end but he’d reluctantly get over it because deep down it feels good to be cared for. Soft like mashed potatoes indeed.

More than Ed rebuilding the relationship with Sarah is Sarah sticking up for her brother to her parents. I think she’d definitely come around to recognizing she’s abused her privileges as the favorite child and also grateful that her brother didn’t turn out That Bad considering. While she’s mending things with Ed I think she’d still take out her younger sibling rage on Eddy (I like to think she sees him as a bonus brother she never asked for). I don’t think they necessarily hate each other or anything, they just have that energy of two scrappy alley cats who have to hiss and swat before parting ways.

#I feel like I both answered the question and only scratched the surface #lots to chew on #yap yap dribble dribble

[pops-exe]

Hey, you mentioned you got diagnosed with a sleep disorder this year and I was wondering which one and how you ended up getting diagnosed with it? Asking for me lol, I think I might have a sleep disorder

Yeah so I got diagnosed with something called idiopathic hypersomnia (IH). It was a very long process. For years I was sooo sleepy throughout school and college. Everyone says they're tired so I thought it was just normal. Plus I was diagnosed with depression so my doc and I assumed it was a leftover symptom. Switched meds several times, used caffeine pills, even put on stims for a while. I would sleep perfectly at night and would take 2+hr naps during the day. I would regularly doze off during class and work no matter how hard I tried to stay alert Like I'd think I was awake and realize I was typing gibberish on my computer.

And so last year my therapist said, go see a sleep doctor. So my primary doctor referred me to a neurologist.

The testing part is pretty complex. You have to stop mental health meds for 2 weeks before the test. The 1st part is called a polysomnogram and it's to see how you sleep at night and to rule out any possible causes for the sleepiness (sleep apnea, sleep walking, etc). You get hooked up to a bunch of electrodes to measure your brain waves and then you sleep for the night.

Then if the polysomnogram is normal (sleep apnea or not sleeping at all would make the next part inaccurate) they do the mslt, multiple sleep latency test. Basically you, or try to, nap every 2hrs. You get a certain amount of time to fall sleep, and they measure how fast you do and if you enter rem (dream sleep).

For narcolepsy type 2 (NT2) and IH you have to fall asleep on average in less than 5-10min(I can't remember the exact number). You take 4 or 5 naps depending on the results. For narcolepsy you have to enter rem during at least 2 naps. Basically, being able to fall asleep quickly after a full night's sleep every two hours isn't normal lmao.

It takes a few weeks for the results. For mine, I fell asleep in all 4 naps. I can't remember how fast but they said it met the criteria. Didn't enter rem so not enough for NT2. Although, the doc said a lot of research points to NT2 and IH being a spectrum and not really two different things. And I did have a cataplexy like attack at one point so he just says narcolepsy spectrum disorder cause it could end up being narcolepsy type 1. On paper it's just idiopathic hypersomnia. But the medications to treat it are exactly the same.

I'm currently on armodafinil and it definitely takes the edge off the sleepiness. Like instead of dozing off 3x a day at work every day, it's like once a day, every other day. I still do take long naps on the weekends or any chance I get. But my brain always feels somewhat foggy and my limbs tend to feel heavy (like a really mild sleep paralysis).

This site has a lot of information about IH and similar sleep disorders. They do a lot of advocating for research and have tons of helpful info:

https://www.hypersomniafoundation.org/ih/

I hope this helps even a little bit. Feel free to ask me anything else or message me for advice. Hope everything turns out for the best for you!

#hope this helps a bit #and sorry i didnt see this sooner #i be out her lacking asvsjshbs

[voraciousvore]

Bucky's (9/44)

***Contains nonfatal soft vore***

Chapter 9: Business Lunch

The next morning, Bucky banged on the ceiling as usual, shouting at the humans to get up for breakfast. This never-ending nightmare was really wearing Patty down. She never knew what to expect from her day. She might sit in the tank all day without being chosen, or get eaten whole, perhaps multiple times—or there was the specter of death hanging over her head that she might unlucky enough to be selected for fatal ingestion. She feared getting too close to anyone, lest she become attached and then have to witness them get brutally torn apart. She didn’t think her heart could bear it. 

The humans, dressed and fed but still groggy, lined up for inspection. Bucky looked over them with fastidious attention to detail, nitpicking on trivial details to keep his restaurant’s food ingredients visually appealing. Graham Cracker remembered not to wear his glasses this time, and shivered as Bucky’s glittering eyes passed over him. Patty was spared from any adjustments. 

Instead of dismissing the humans as he normally did, though, Bucky began selecting several humans with thoughtful precision and setting them aside. Patty felt her heart jump with anxiety when Bucky wrapped his finger around her and pulled her into this mysterious grouping. She peered around and observed that all the humans he put to the side were women, for whatever reason. Once Bucky had sorted out about ten women, he dismissed the rest of the humans and corralled them into the passage that led to the tank. 

Patty stood in the line of females, sweating with anxiety. Bucky leaned in close to check them all once more. His heavy breathing was noticeable, with how enormous and close he was. “Alright, all of you, listen carefully,” he began. “Big Corp Inc., a very important business partner of ours, has scheduled a luncheon for their executives at the restaurant. I’ve handpicked you all to be in their meals. I expect you all to be on your best behavior. Otherwise, there will be dire consequences.” His eyes hardened. “Understand?”

The humans nodded, and Bucky closed the ceiling and left. Patty felt like she could breathe normally again, but she was still tense. “What’s Big Corp Inc.? Does anybody know?” she asked. 

Most of the humans shook their heads, but one woman, Cookie, answered, “I think they’re the ones who supply Bucky with the pills we take, to keep us undigested.” 

“Oh, I see.” Patty reflected for a minute. “So, this must be like a promotional thing, for their product they sell. I guess that means none of us are slated for fatal ingestion, right?” 

“Hopefully,” Cookie replied, but her tone sounded cynical. She brushed back her long brown hair with her hands and sat down on one of the couches to wait, and most of the others followed suit. Patty was nervous. The idea of a big dinner party full of hungry Giants was intimidating, to say the least. Plus, the fact that they were high-ranking executives in the company worried her, since they might be wealthy enough to afford fatal ingestion, if they were so inclined. Even if none of them chose the option for their business lunch, there was nothing stopping them from coming back on their own time later to patronize the establishment. Patty felt sick just thinking about it, as she recalled the couple who ripped apart their victims last time. 

The room lapsed into a tense hush as everyone retreated into their own thoughts. Nobody was in the mood for speculation or conversation. The hours of dreadful anticipation dragged out until, inevitably, Bucky and the two chefs came to collect the human entrees for lunch. Patty tried to keep calm as she was fed a pill and dropped into a bowl of soup as big as a swimming pool. The soup was hot, like a jacuzzi, but bearable with the protective effects of the pill. Although Patty was unrestrained, she didn’t attempt to escape, with the promise of “dire consequences” hanging over her head. She doubted she’d have any chance to get away regardless. 

One of the Giantess waitresses carried her off to the table, where all the Big Corp employees were salivating for their meals. Patty was deeply intimidated when she was set down on the table, surrounded by ravenous Giant men in expensive suits, eager to devour their human entrees. She sank down in the soup despondently and looked up at the Giant who would consume her with wide eyes. He towered above her, another huge man in a fancy black suit with a dark blue tie. He was a tall, thin man, about middle-aged, clean-shaven, with flecks of gray in his dark brown hair. He regarded his food with a twisted, inscrutable expression. He glanced over at Patty with soft brown eyes but swiftly averted his gaze, as if shy.  

Patty furrowed her brow with confusion. His body language didn’t add up. He hesitantly picked up his spoon and dipped it in his soup, far away from Patty. She had been teased and tormented enough to know that some Giants whetted their appetite by eating around her, but she didn’t get that vibe from this particular Giant. He wasn’t smirking or sneering. He was stonefaced. He wasn’t trying to frighten her. If anything, the more Patty studied him, the more his façade seemed to crack under pressure. She saw, buried within his eyes, a glint of anxiety, perhaps even fear. The corners of his mouth twitched with distress. 

Patty didn’t understand what was going on with him. She surveyed the rest of the Giants at the table, who were scarfing down their meals with alacrity. She witnessed Cookie, perched on a fork, disappear into the mouth of one of the Giants. His throat contracted, and his hand drifted over his neck as he gulped her down whole. To his right, another Giant snapped up his human in a burger and consumed her. On the left, Patty could just make out Pepper’s red hair sticking out of a sandwich before she was engulfed into the jaws of her Giant customer. 

Patty, treading soup, turned around and gazed back up at the Giant who was supposed to be eating her. He was sweating. He fiddled absently with the knot of his tie, as if it were strangling him. He kept eating bites of the soup slowly, avoiding Patty with his spoon. By apparent contradiction, she heard his stomach grumble beneath the table, indicating he was in fact quite hungry. He ran his hand through his hair nervously and wiped his clammy forehead. The soup in the bowl had drained enough to where it only reached Patty’s knees, yet he still pointedly ignored her. By now, all the other humans at the luncheon had been consumed, leaving only Patty. 

His struggle became apparent to Patty. He didn’t want to eat her. He was only at the restaurant at the behest of his company. Patty was surprised to find that not all Giant men were man-eating monsters like she thought, and she was sympathetic to his plight. He grew more agitated as he recognized his meal was mostly gone, except for the poor little human remaining that he was supposed to eat. His peers noticed his stalling and began to berate him. 

“Aren’t you going to eat your human, Leon?” the Giant next to him asked, elbowing him in the ribs. 

“Yeah, come on already! Quit teasing and finish her off!” another Giant chimed in. “Unless you’re a soy boy wimp!” 

“Your predecessor Richard would have gulped her down in the first bite! Remember how fast he gobbled up that cute little blonde lady in the meeting that one time?” Some of the other executives murmured indistinctly as they recalled their old coworker with fondness. 

Patty’s Giant—apparently named Leon—darkened at the mention of Richard. “Don’t compare me to that loser,” he growled softly, slumping down in his chair. 

One of the Giants cleared his throat, and the others went silent. He had a commanding presence, not only with how physically large and broad he was but also in his innate aura, that suggested he was somebody important, somebody in charge. His desire to make himself known had a chilling effect on the rest of the men. He leaned forward, resting his bearded chin on his clasped hands. “Leon,” he rumbled. The man stiffened at the utterance of his name, and a chill ran up his spine. “I expect you to eat that human. Don’t disappoint me.” He raised a bushy eyebrow. 

Leon gulped and wordlessly picked up his spoon. He hesitated and looked down at Patty. She met his eyes and gave him a small nod of approval. She had become invested in the drama unfolding before her and was on his side. His Adam’s apple fluttered in his throat as he scooped up Patty in his spoon. She settled down in the curved end willingly, not taking her eyes off his. She felt a tremor in the spoon as he raised her up to his lips, which he licked nervously. After a long pause, he opened his mouth, releasing a breath, and gently enveloped Patty inside. He removed the spoon and closed his mouth around her, trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. Even though he didn’t want to eat her, the contact between her body and his tongue triggered a pool of saliva to form in his mouth at her appealing flavor. He couldn’t deny he was hungry, and Patty sensed his stomach gurgling down below, waiting for her. 

Patty sat on his tongue and waited for the inevitable. He didn’t swallow right away. She fidgeted with mild impatience and discomfort. Finally, he made a show of a pretend, exaggerated swallow, draining the saliva in his mouth but not actually swallowing her. His coworkers were easily fooled, and believed he had eaten the human. They slapped him on the back and congratulated him, then went about ordering dessert. Patty remained in his mouth, staring down the dark tunnel of his gullet, not sure what to expect. She exhaled with relief that she hadn’t been eaten yet, but she was still trapped inside. Saliva began to fill his mouth again, and his breathing was stressed and labored. She felt a bit sorry for him, despite her circumstances. The physical reactions of his body clearly indicated that, if he were able to overcome his mental block, he would find consuming a human enjoyable. He was too kind to do what he considered a morally reprehensible action, yet too timid to stand up to his coworkers or his boss. 

When the attention of the party had turned away from him, Leon pretended to wipe his lips off with a cloth napkin and discreetly spat Patty out, bunching the cloth around her so she wouldn’t be seen. “Sorry,” he whispered softly to her in a sheepish apology, while she was still next to his mouth, before lowering her down into his lap to hide her. Making small movements with his fingers, so as not to be conspicuous, he cleaned his spit off Patty with the napkin as best he could. He felt ashamed of himself, and his cowardice, but also relieved that he didn’t have to eat her. He couldn’t imagine what the poor little humans who were forced to work at the restaurant were feeling. From the manager meetings at Big Corp Inc., he gleaned the truth about the horrible circumstances by which humans were conscripted to work for disreputable Giant businesses like Bucky’s, and it sickened him. 

He hid Patty under the cloth napkin in his lap and pretended as if nothing were amiss. Patty shivered instinctively when she heard his huge stomach growl, and he felt a sharp pang of guilt for being at the restaurant like some sort of heartless, savage ogre. The waitresses brought slices of pie for dessert and the Giant executives chatted with lively conversation, exhilarated to finally have the chance to eat at Bucky’s and have a taste of the human entrees for themselves. They raved about how it felt to have a tiny person squirming around in their bellies, how delicious and satisfying the sensation was. Many of them boldly vowed to return, perhaps to try fatal ingestion. Leon stayed quiet as he ate his pie, doing his best to hide his revulsion. Patty felt him shift slightly with discomfort in his chair when the discussion took a particularly graphic turn. He kept one hand in his lap curled gently around Patty, as if to protect her. 

As much as Patty felt sorry for the Giant whose lap she was in, she sensed a golden opportunity. She was currently nestled in the hand of somebody sympathetic to her plight. She was unguarded and unrestrained, and halfway down to the floor. Hope surged through her. She might be able to escape. She didn’t know what she’d do about the tracker, but she wasn’t going to stress over it and waste her chance. She felt a bit guilty, knowing that there would be consequences for the compassionate Giant if he lost her, but she figured he’d have to understand that her survival was far more important than any punishment or social stigma he might receive. 

Carefully, trying not to draw attention to herself, Patty began to edge her way over the Giant’s leg to his knee. His hand tensed mildly, indicating he was aware of her movements, but he didn’t restrain her. She crawled under his fingers and he lifted them up to allow her passage, essentially giving her his blessing. Emboldened, Patty moved faster, freeing herself from the cover of the napkin when she reached his knee. She gave him one last look, meeting his soft eyes full of understanding, before gripping on to the fabric of his pants and starting to climb down his leg. He didn’t budge an inch, although she was certain he could feel her rustling his clothes. She dropped onto his black shoe, then slid down the side until her feet hit the floor. She had done it. She could escape! 

Chapter 1

Chapter 10

#g/t #giant #giant/tiny #tiny #g/t writing #size difference #giant tiny #g/t fluff #Bucky's #soft vore #g/t vore #safe vore #gt vore #mouthplay #unwilling pred #v.ore #vo.re #vor.e #v/ore #v0re #v0r3 #vore story #vore writing #g/t story

[vole-mon-amour]

1x07.

Madeline senses what's up, but her brother is still in denial, so she has to go with it. And may I say, Pym! The dude listens the most insane stories and not once he says that they're crazy and stays loyal to them until (I presume) the very end.

You're too obsessed with immortality, babe, and I think it might actually kill you.

Frederick with his obsession and his self pity is so. fucking. boring. I've had enough of that guy, give me back my fun show! I've never wanted to see anyone die as much as I want to see Frederick. Jfc, the guy in so insecure and insane. Why would Mike give him such a huge role. :( I mean, yeah, Freddie is his first kid ever, but why make his story in the adulthood so boring?

Oh wow, Roderick fully went with betraying Angie. W o w. And Madeline... w o w.

"You are so small, Madeline." No, she isn't? Playing the housewife is way simpler at some point than come up with a lying cheating terrifying empire? She's not a good person in any way, but she's INTERESTING.

How about powerful murderous wives? No?

Dude literally married some hooker as a long-term PR company. Rich people are truly something else. But hey, the way he holds her chin. The perfect cruelty.

Hey, Mike, how about giving the playground to these two lovely ladies (that aren't ladies, or at least one of them is not a woman but rather takes the form of one) instead of to two men?

Me af. When I read TFOTHOU, fucking TWICE, I barely understood what that was about. The writing style is just gibberish to me.

Yeah, that's you. A joke without a punchline, therefore I'm bored with you.

A queen!! She should've done it way earlier. Show me her red eyes up close pls.

HE DID!!

So she IS death?

!!! "Cool motive. Still murder." Except that the motive isn't cool this time. It's just torture.

I don't know what I want to believe more: that it's Varna possessed Madeline so she can convince her brother to take the pills or that Madeline realised something after the talk with Varna and convinced Roderick to take the pills.

But apparently it was Madeline herself? And apparently she tried to make it easier on Roderick bc Varna could resurrect him with "Can't let you that easy"? Varna's so cooool.

#tfothou #natiswatching

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Knd x AWISC au part 2.

(Monty and Benedict enter the school grounds and see Carter run up to them.)

Carter: Monty, Benedict, what's up!?

Monty: Carter, how's my favorite mouse!?

Carter: I'm doing great, how about you?

Monty: I'm doing great as well.

Carter: And how are you doing, Benedict?

Benedict: I'm doing just fine.

Carter: I'm glad to hear that.

(The three enter the school and part ways because Benedict goes to a different class than Monty and Carter, Benedict then comes across his childhood best friend, Linda.)

Linda: Ben!

Benedict: Linda?

(Linda gives Benedict a nice big hug.)

Linda: I'm so happy that you came to school today, and might I say you look very nice.

Benedict: Thank you, I put in a little effort in getting ready today.

Linda: It sure paid off because I love how you look today.

Benedict: You really flatter me, Linda.

(Benedict notices that Linda has a bloody nose.)

Benedict: Is that blood on your nose?

Linda: Oh, crap!

Benedict: Did someone hurt you, because I will do anything to keep you safe.

Linda: No one hurt me, you know how I would bleed from where my antlers were when I was still transitioning?

Benedict: Yeah, wasn't that the side effect of the hormone pills you were taking though?

Linda: Well it was...but after I fully transitioned I kept having annual bleeding, it just migrated to my nose.

Benedict: Really?

Linda: Yep, it's fine through. It's just really scary, bleeding infront of predators sometimes...

Benedict: Why's that?

Linda: Aren't you scared of predators?

Benedict: Well, I was raised by one alongside my brother.

Linda: Oh... right... sorry...

Benedict: You're fine, Linda. Predators stop being as scary when you grow up with a black wolf.

Linda: Yeah, I'm so glad you two were only adopted, I can't imagine how scary you would look if you were actually part wolf.

(There was a moment of silence until Benedict mustered up the courage to talk.)

Benedict: Yeah, Mom's very scary, at least she's not a dangerous as she looks.

(Helen enters the scene.)

Helen: Linda, you're bleeding again!

Linda: Yeah, I was just talking to Ben about it.

Helen: I felt like I could smell your blood a mile away.

Benedict: Can raccoons actually smell that well?

Helen: Maybe, blood has a pretty strong smell, don't you think?

Benedict: It certainly does...(gives Helen a bit of a glare.)

Helen: Okay, Ben. Anyway, do you want me to take you the the infimary, Linda?

Linda: Sure thing, Helen.

Benedict: Wait, wouldn't it be safer for a prey animal to tag along Linda instead?

Linda: Benedict, no need to be so paranoid, Helen may be a predator, but she would never hurt me.

Helen: No, Benedict is right, it would be safer for him to take you to the infirmary... Plus I promised Rachel I'd hang out with her.

Benedict: Who's Rachel?

Helen: Oh, I forgot you went to a different school for a year.

Benedict: Yeah, I did, but I didn't like being away from Linda, so I switched back to this school.

Helen: There are a few new students here and Rachel's one of them.

Linda: Rachel's a little intimidating.

Helen: Oh, come on, Linda. Rachel may be a large predator who doesn't talk much, but she's not that bad.

Linda: I just get a bad feeling from her...

Benedict: Anyways, I think Linda and I should be going now.

Helen: Alright, have fun you two, I'll see you both in class.

The end of part 2

#codename knd #monty uno #benedict uno #ocs #a wolf in sheep's clothing #furry #alternate universe

[notalotgoingonatthisinstant]

Since I know myself and I need to finish writing everything before start publishing chapters, and since this thing is only growing, here (*sprinkles*), have a lil birthday treat from my hungover self.

At eight, after dinner is over and they are just hanging, his phone pings with the reminder to take his medicine. It feels particularly jarring today.

For practical reasons, Simon keeps a pack in one of the kitchen’s drawers. Images of him stealing pills from his father come to the forefront of his mind as soon as he opens the right drawer and he has to put the glass of water down to breathe. It takes him a few seconds to be able to grab two pills, but then he cannot bring himself to put them in his mouth.

He knows he has to take them. He knows they were prescribed to him so he doesn’t fry his brain because it’s fragile after he hit it. Because he was attacked. And he knows that nothing about it was his fault… theoretically. But maybe he shouldn’t have gone to see his father. Maybe, if he hadn’t even started seeing him again, it wouldn’t have been necessary at all, because Micke wouldn’t have made a comment about him to a reporter. Maybe Simon should have let the bus ride cool his head instead of walking to the next stop. Maybe he should have stuck to the busier streets. Maybe he shouldn’t have fought back.

Because he can’t take pills. For the same reason he can’t drink any alcohol – he very likely has the genes for addiction and he can’t risk it. He will keep his life on track, even though it’s already derailed, and he can’t get the taste for pills, at all, he just can’t.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, hands gripping the counter, glass of water and two pills in front of him, trying to talk himself into swallowing them so he doesn’t fucking convulse again. Suddenly, he catches someone on the other side of the partition, in the dining room, and startles. Wille immediately leans back a little. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Simon’s heart has gone through the roof. It very clearly doesn’t want to slow back down, but he pushes down the discomfort. “It’s okay.”

With someone right there, Simon can’t find any way to stall any longer for any feasible reason, so he makes himself put the two pills in his mouth and take a sip of water. He swallows, but only the liquid; the pills stay right there on his tongue, getting more and more bitter. He tries taking more water, tries to think of something else, but still just swallows the water.

It frustrates him to no end. It’s just two pills. It’s his fucking medicine. They’re not even big, he’s swallowed larger pieces of meat before, and those same pills before, and he knows, logically, that they’re not going to get stuck in his throat, but right now it feels like they might. Or that he might throw up if he forces them down.

But he will fucking swallow them if it’s the last thing he does. He picks up the glass and keeps gulping down water until the pills slide painfully down his throat, the muscles there trying to reject them. This is just a temporary evil. Six more months.

At least six more months. Maybe two years. Possibly forever.

“Simon?” Wille’s voice comes from closer now. He has come around the corner and is front of Simon, in the kitchen, a hand reaching out to touch his elbow. “Everything okay?”

Simon nods, humming in an affirmative way that he hopes is casual enough. He puts the cup in the sink, taking the extra time so he doesn’t have to meet Wille’s eyes until he can compose himself to lie a bit better.

Wille’s hand slipped from one elbow to the other when Simon turned to the sink, and now the thumb caresses the fabric of his jumper. “Want to go to your room for a bit?”

Nodding again, Simon lets Wille guide him farther into the house until they are shut away in the golden light of his fish tank. As soon as they are in his room, Simon wraps his arms around his waist and buries his face in his neck, much like he did outside the car, and Wille holds him close around the shoulders again. Simon rubs his nose up his neck and leans up to kiss him.

The fire burns inside him again, showing up quicker than it usually does. It has been five days since Simon has had the opportunity to be in Wille’s room, over on Friday, so that’s four days his body has been burning. He can’t constantly ask his mum or his friends to drive him up to Hillerska every weekend and he can’t take the bus alone anymore. On weekdays, he has to leave with Sara or, again, ask his mum to come, and it’s all so frustrating.

They have forty minutes at most if they want Wille to make it back before curfew. Forty minutes isn’t a lot, but it’s not nothing. Wille goes easily wherever Simon pushes him towards, letting himself be manoeuvred and pushing right back. Simon notices Wille takes a moment longer to move with the same urgency, but he eventually meets him with the same passion, and their shirts fly off soon after.

#young royals fic #my fics #wilmon #put me back together and take my heart #wip #it's an abrupt ending i know but i can't spoil too much

[womenfrommars]

I would never state this publicly so I wanted to write this on anon. As much as I am leaning towards pro choice, I can't help but have this very small, tiny voice inside of me that is saying, "Maybe this will finally put an end to hookup culture." I don't know if you're on TikTok, but there were slews of videos of young women joking about advising each other to confront their boyfriends in their lives that if they're going to have sex again when and if Roe v Wade overturns, they are going to have to get married. Some of the boyfriends actually agreed to this. Some scheduled a vasectomy appointment. Some left the young women, which might of saved them many years of tears in the end anyway. But most agreed to marriage within this year, which astounds me. These are millenial and gen z men, mind you. And to be honest... I mean, obviously, promiscuity and infidelity will always happen no matter what based on history of human behavior, but if and when America becomes circa 1970s again with regards to contraception and abortion, I can't help but feel just a little relieved that this could save so many future heartbreaks and legal messes involving people who just wanted to be loved but instead gets cheated on, left for another person, so on so forth. I've always been someone who never understood or got into BDSM + kink (tried once and it was slightly traumatic to say the least), polyamory and group sex, hooking up with new strangers nearly every weekend like other people around my age tend to do, or even very small things like forcing myself to feel comfortable over my previous partners still wanting to talk and stay close with their exes or flirty people in general. It was how I got cheated on before.

Not to mention wrt to hook up culture, but thanks to apps and how absolutely unemotional as a society we have become, it's almost a god damn miracle for two people to find each other and stay together for life these days. Why stay if a new partner is just a click away? Why take time to get to know a good person for a relationship when there are dozens of other people who are more casual, more attractive, and easier/faster to get with? I don't know, but if things change, I think it would also force men to find and stick to just one woman because it would become way too risky to just go around sleeping with a lot of women, unless he wants to father dozens of children recklessly. I hope I'm making sense, what I'm trying to say is, with contraception and abortion, women were able to really get ahead in life and be able to quite literally have a seat next to men in all areas in life. Which are good things. But ironically, it also made the concept of love all the more difficult to find, attain, and keep, because as long as the other woman could just take a pill or use condoms, she could get away with breaking all relationships and marriages around her without guilt or leaving proof behind. At least if a pregnancy occurs, the cheating partner would come into light and be rightly shunned by the community.

If you're going to criticize, I get it, and again, this isn't something I would post on my blog when my followers are rad leaning and staunchly pro-abortion. I guess maybe a part of me is selfish and I want to finally have a chance at love without having to worry about bad things happening to me again, especially involving cheating.

Hook-up culture was only able to exist because of inventions like condoms and the pill. Evolutionary psychologists believe women would rarely ever consent to ''no strings attached'' sex, because they risk pregnancy. That means they risk having to raise a child without any support. Men, on the other hand, would get a good deal out of it, because they would get to reproduce without having to make any sacrifices for it

Hook-up culture mostly began in the 60s due to inventions like the pill. Back then it was called sexual liberation, the ''free love'' movement, or the sexual revolution. Nothing new, nothing changed. But even back then people were a bit more old-fashioned. If a woman got pregnant outside of wedlock, the man might have offered to marry her post-facto so she wouldn't have to raise a child on her own. It sounds a bit similar to the TikToks you are describing

And yes, many men are pro-choice for their own self-interest. Seemingly progressive men claim to support it under the guise of women's rights but then pressure their mistresses into abortion. It happened with Alexander Pechtold who was previously to this incident, regarded as a male feminist ally by many, since he led a progressive-liberal political party here. (His mistress ended up getting the abortion, and then she got pregnant again with twins, but she kept the twins. I believe she regrets the abortion of the first child.)

Conservatives have pointed out this dilemma for ages and they've got a point. Abortion can be and is weaponed against women's liberation, and so far we haven't found proper solutions for this. Conservatives propose marriage and the nuclear family unit as solutions, but feminists tend to oppose these things. Men's rights activists are also fighting against the idea of men paying child support since ''She could have gotten an abortion'' or ''I thought women wanted to be financially independent''.

Abortion also has positive usages. It allows women to leave abusive men easier. Men sometimes ''trap'' women with children which makes it harder for her to leave him. Some poke holes in the condom or remove the condom during sex (called ''stealthing''). A few red states apparantly have laws stating a woman can't divorce her husband if she is currently pregnant...

So like I said, the feminist movement hasn't found proper answers to these issues, and staunch pro-choice feminists like to pretend they don't exist, or they consider some women ''collaterol damage''

I'm sorry you were cheated on anon, but cheating will always be a thing even if we change legislation surrounding abortion

[minniejo-fics]

Little Prince Sungho

Sungho had a system and it was fool proof. Whenever he had time alone at the dorm he would take out all his little gear and put on pororo. On days that he was feeling small, but didn't have time to properly regress he'd do a Vlive with Kingme where he'd decorate phone cases with Sanrio stickers. It was always enough to destress him enough until he could properly regress. The one thing he didn't properly account for was illness.

Sungho had woken up with a pretty bad headache. He tried to get out of bed, but was instantly hit with a wave of dizziness. He whimpered a little as he got back in his bed and curled up under the covers. He knew he needed to get up because they had a very busy day, but his head hurt so much. Sungho decided that he’d get up at the last possible second.

“Hyung, Sungho hyung, it’s time to wake up. The van will be here in half an hour.” Dongsik said as he shook his hyung awake. Sungho moaned a little as he woke up. His headache had receded a little and he got up to get dressed. As he was getting dressed, he realized that he was gravitating towards softer colors. He then realized that it’d been over a month since he last regressed fully and he normally did at least a partial regression every other week. His headache was likely a stress headache from no regressing. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything he could do about it for another week when the group’s schedule would finally calm down.

As he finished getting ready, a thought occurred to Sungho. If he played up his headache and acted as dizzy as he felt earlier, he might get the day off. Then he'll be able to spend the day regressed and he'll be better by tomorrow. Unfortunately, Sungho had spent a little too much time in his thoughts because Seungbo came into the room looking quite irritated and ushered him into the van with a protein shake to drink.

Sungho drank the protein shake in the van and contemplated his options. He could try telling Seungbo that he wasn’t feeling good and hope that he would be understanding and let him sit out of practice, or he could do his best to get through practice and try to find time to regress later. He decided to go with the former.

“Seungbo hyung, I was wondering if-”

“Not now Sung, Manager-nim just told me that they’ve decided to move our schedules up, so now we’re behind schedule.” Sungho and the others all groaned at the announcement. They knew that the company merely had a lot of faith in them, but it was still annoying. Sungho knew that he’d need to attend practice to the best of his ability so he turned to Dongsik instead.

“Dongsik, do you have any tylenol on you? I have a little bit of a headache.” Dongsik nodded and dug through his bag for the pills. Sungho accepted the pills and hoped it would be enough to get him through the day. As soon as the group arrived at the studio they immediately started stretching so they could start practice as soon as possible.

As the group was stretching, Yunho decided to annoy his group mates a bit and put on everyone's favorite song. Baby Shark. This mostly had the effect that he was hoping for. Seungbo and Dongsik looked very annoyed and had some choice words about Yunho's music choice. Yoosung looked amused at his hyungs' reactions. Jahan looked annoyed but not enough to complain or anything.

Sungho on the other hand was having a fight with his brain. The second he heard the opening to the song, he nearly slipped right then and there. Thankfully he did manage to keep himself reign in until the end of the song.

Unfortunately for Sungho, Yunho wasn't done messing with the group and the next song was Enhypen's cover of the Hey Tayo theme song. Sungho felt himself slip almost immediately.

Sungho suddenly felt extremely overwhelmed. He was in a room he didn't recognize with music blaring and people were around. He had broken the two rules he had to follow, "Don't fully regress outside of your room, and You can't be fully small around other people". Little Sungho didn't know what to do, so he started crying, loudly.

The other five members had been goofing off. Four of them berating/teasing Yunho for his music choices, Yunho just laughing at how he annoyed everyone. Yunho had grabbed his phone to change the music again. "Don't worry hyung, the next song I have is great. You can totally dan-" Yunho was cut off as loud sobbing echoed its way through the room. The five members who had been near the sound system glanced across the room, only to see Sungho sobbing as he curled in on himself.

The five members were quick to run over to the clearly distressed member. "Sung, what's wrong? Seungbo asked, but he was only met with further sobbing that was getting more distressed by the second.

"I ant my huffie." Sungho cried before placing his fore and middle fingers in his mouth.

"Did anyone understand that?" Seungbo asked, totally at a loss for what could possibly be distressing the younger.

"Sungho hyung might be sick. He asked me for headache medicine earlier." Dongsik offered. Upon hearing that, Jihoon who was closest placed his hand on the elder who just stood there and continued to cry.

"He's not warm, so if hyung is sick he at least doesn't have a fever." Jihoon, Dongsik, Yunho, and Seungbo continued to fret over Sungho, trying to get him to say what was wrong. Meanwhile Yoosung was lost in thought.

After several moments, Sungho was still completely inconsolable and now Seungbo was beginning to look stressed. The music had long since been turned off to see if that was the problem, but it hadn't been. Everytime one of them tried asking what the problem was, he responded with " I ant my huffie". After the eighth time hearing this Yoosung gasped before running out of the room shouting "I think I know what's wrong."

"Okay, well until Yoosung returns, how about we sit down on the couch. That okay hyung?" Dongsik asked. Sungho didn't respond so Dongsik maneuvered him over to the sofa and sat him down. At a loss for what to do, Dongsik sat down next to the elder and tried to get him to calm down by hugging him.

Sungho seemed to calm down a little bit from the soft ministrations Dongsik was applying to the elder's back, but he was still crying pretty hard. "Maybe we should take Sungho home?" Seungjun suggested trying to figure out how to best deal with this unknown situation. The four remaining members were debating the pros and cons of this when Yoosung returned holding something behind his back.

"Sung-Sungie, I have a friend who wants to meet you." Yoosung sing-songed, not missing the shocked expressions from the others at the dropped honorifics. However Sungho did seem to respond at least a little bit. Even if all he did was make some kind of eye contact with the younger..

Yoosung smiled warmly at Sungho before he revealed a lamb plushie. He gently shook the toy, causing it to rattle.

"Sungie, this is Lamby baby. Lamby baby, this is Sungie." Yoosung then waved the toy directly in Sungho's face, garnering high pitched giggles from the member.

The others stared in shock and amazement at how fast Yoosung had calmed Sungho, who was now clutching the stuffed animal to his chest as he calmed down. It didn’t take long for Sungho’s eyes to slip closed and his breathing to even out, indicating he had fallen asleep.

"Yoosung, care to enlighten us on what's wrong with Sungho?" Yunho asked, still clearly surprised that he had calmed Sungho down so effortlessly. "Sure hyung. But first we should take the baby home." Yoosung ignored the others' looks at him calling his hyung a baby and went to collect his and Sungho's bags, the others following suit. Seungbo took Dongsik and Yunho's bags as they worked in tandem to carry their sleeping member home.

Sungho was still asleep when they arrived at the dorm, so they placed him on the couch. Yoosung lifted up Sungho's head then slipped his lap underneath and began carding his fingers through the elder's hair. The other got comfortable around the living room wanting to ask questions, but weren't sure where to start.

"First off hyung, where did you get that stuffed animal from? Jihoon asked before anyone could ask anything else. Yoosung grinned. "I keep it in my locker for emergencies." Yoosung said nonchalantly.

"You keep an emergency stuffy in your locker?" Dongsik asked, mystified. "And you don't?" Yoosung responded as if it were obvious. The subject was dropped, as the others weren't quite sure how to respond.

"Okay, you said you know what's wrong with Sung. Can you please tell us? And why did you drop honorifics? He's your hyung."

"Well I'm only like ninety five percent sure that he's a little and I dropped honorifics because he's currently younger than me." His members looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Meanwhile, Sungho began to stir.

"Good morning Sungie. Did you have a nice nap?" Yoosung asked. Sungho whimpered a little before opening his eyes. He was still aware that he had broken rules, but he hadn’t received any sort of consequences yet, so he found himself beginning to cry again.

“Shhhh. You’re okay, Sung. Do you think you can tell me how old you are?” Yoosung asked. The others watched as he put up three fingers. “You’re such a big boy Sungie! Now how about we get you changed into something a bit more comfortable and then have a snack.” Sungho nodded and let Yoosung lead him to his room. The others thought about following, but ultimately decided to give the two members their privacy.

Yoosung came out a couple minutes later with Sungho looking much more comfortable, dressed in some oversized sweats. He then took the little to the kitchen and quickly prepared a plate of cheese and crackers, and poured some juice into a cup normally meant for protein shakes or smoothies. He sat the two of them down and nodded for the others to come join them.

“Okay so to answer your previous question, Sungho is a little. Meaning that he goes into a younger headspace to relieve stress. It can also be a coping mechanism to help with trauma, and I don’t know which situation applies to them. We can ask him later when he’s big again. All you need to know is that he’s currently the age of three and he needs to be treated as such.”

The members fell into momentary silence as they pondered Yoosung’s words. Sungho continued to munch on his snack, and slowly seemed to relax. “Hunie hyungie, I nee ‘a go po'y” Jihun startled slightly at being called hyung by someone two years older than him, then it took him a moment to decipher what he’d said.

"You need to go potty?" Jihun asked. He got a solid nod in return. He glanced towards Yoosung, who gave him an encouraging nod. "Just make sure to watch him. Three year olds in the bathroom unsupervised is almost always trouble." Jihun nodded and held out his hand for Sungho to take.

Seungbo moved to the kitchen to make some food for the rest of the group, while the others just kind of sat and processed the new information, almost asking Yoosung another question, but then changing their minds. The relative silence was interrupted by the raised voice of Jihun.

"Hyung, no. Sungho, that's way too much soap. No, we don't play in the sink." There was a brief moment of silence. "That's a waste of towels. How did you even manage that?" Jihun's voice was slowly getting more frantic, so the others, including Yoosung went to investigate.

The group found the bathroom in disarray. The sink was covered in soap and water, the toilet paper had been unraveled, and it appeared that Jihun and Sungho were playing tug of war with a wad of paper towels.

"Sungho." Yoosung said, with a voice far more stern than the others had ever heard. "Are you not listening to your Jihun hyung? Because if you're not, you're going to have to sit with Seungbo hyung for three minutes before you can start playing."

Sungho dropped the paper towels with the threat of no play time, his lip wobbling a little as years began to form in his eyes. "Wanna p'ay" he said. "If you want to play, you need to apologize to Jihun, okay?" Sungho nodded then somewhat distressedly apologized to Jihun, who accepted it quickly.

The group then moved to the living room where Yoosung put Tayo on the TV before grabbing some paper and colored pencils. Sungho eagerly took the pencils and paper and began doodling, occasionally getting distracted by the show that was on.

After about an hour, Sungho began rubbing at his eyes and yawning. "Sungie, I think it's naptime." Dongsik said as he turned off the tv. Sungho merely nodded and took the offered hand and walked to his room. However, Sungho began to put up a fight when it came time to actually falling asleep.

“Sungho, it’s nap time. You need to calm your body and let it relax so you can take a nap.”

“NO!” Dongsik wasn’t at all sure why Sungho was suddenly refusing to nap, when he was practically falling asleep not even five minutes earlier. “Hyung, Yoosung, a little help here?!” Dongsik called. Seungbo, Yunho, Yoosung, and Jihun quickly came and found Sungho standing on his bed with a very defiant expression on his face.

“I wan my huffie.” Sungho said before throwing himself onto the bed. Dongsik quickly ran to the living room to grab the stuffed animal that had been momentarily abandoned. He brought it into the room and handed it to Sungho, who quickly accepted it and settled on his bed. Dongsik tucked him in then grabbed his phone, turning on his night time playlist. Sungho snuggled into the lamb and relaxed to the music. Once they were pretty sure Sungho wasn't going to fight napping, the five members left the room.

“Okay, so Sungho is kinda cute.” Yunho said the others were quick to agree. Yoosung took out his phone and began to send the others links about age regression so that they could learn more. “Yoosung, how do you know about this anyway.” Yoosung blushed a little bit at Seungbo’s question.

“I’m also a little, so it was pretty clear what was happening. My age range is around five to eight when I regress, and Sungho appears to have a younger headspace.” Yoosung got up and went to his room and came back with a box full of children’s toys.

“This is my box of little gear. I don’t know if Sungho hyung has any gear for himself, that’s something we’ll need to ask him later. Each little has their own preferences, some things will be closer to their headspace than other things.” The others looked in his box and saw some connect the dot books, some coloring books, some barbie dolls, some blocks, some cars, and a couple of pacifiers, sippy cups and bottles.

The members spent the better part of the hour asking Yoosung questions and looking through the articles he had sent them. Dongsik actually went online and began looking for more toys for Yoosung and Sungho to play with. As the hour came to a close, Sungho emerged from his room looking a bit better than he had that morning.

"Hey Sung, you feeling better?" Seungbo asked. Sungho nodded in response, but looked a bit conflicted.

"You good there Sung-ah?" Yunho asked. Sungho sighed before speaking.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to end practice before it could really start. And I'm sorry if I burdened you in any way for my behavior earlier."

Everyone was stunned by the words that came out of Sungho's mouth. Yoosung even looked a tad offended.

"Hyung, you didn't ruin anything nor were you a burden. If there are times where you literally need to cater for like your three, then we do that."

Sungho wanted to protest, but Yoosung cut in first. "Hyung, I already explained to them what happened and we've already started mapping out a schedule so both of us can regress together." Yoosung paused to let the information sink in.

"Let me get this straight. You're also a little and we're now carving out time in our busy schedules for both of us to regress so that we hopefully don't have a repeat of today?" Yoosung nodded with the other members making various noises in affirmation. A giant smile spread across Sungho's face before he disappeared to his room for a moment. He returned carrying his own box of gear and showed it to the members so that they would know what he likes when he's little. Sure enough, his headspace was younger than Yoosung's.

Unlike Yoosung who only had a couple items for a younger headspace, Sungho had a lot. Including pull ups, diapers, and Pedialyte. He explained that today was one of his older days, but even so he normally wears a pull-up whenever regressed because he's prone to accidents. The members were very understanding and took it into consideration as they continued to work on the schedule. Both Yoosung and Sungho felt like a metaphorical weight had been lifted off their shoulders as they both started telling the group more about what they're like when regressed.

[sophie-and-lilianne]

SWOON

"I’m such an idiot, why do I keep bothering to wake up for this", I think, absorbed in my morning routine of self-deprecation. I take my pills. "Maybe I’ll feel better after I see my therapist next month".

I sit in my bed, listening to my alarm sing I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire while I look around the room. It’s been three months and I still don’t have a bed, only a mattress. My art table is so badly set up that I can’t use it for anything, and my shelves are covered in junk and dishes. I guess an outside observer might look at this and say “Aha! It’s clearly a classic case of this and that-” but I just think it’s the depression. This place, and the job that came with it, was supposed to be a fresh start for me. I just have to make it to New Year’s.

My phone dings. I look, wondering who might be messaging me at five in the morning. Someone liked my profile on a dating app. Huh. I press the notification and open the app, looking at her photo. She’s very attractive for sure, but 540KM away… It wouldn’t be the first person to try to talk me into a long distance relationship. I swipe right, for the fun of it.

My phone alarm rings at that moment, telling me it’s time to get up and ready for work. Blue Moon by Frank Sinatra plays pitifully on my AI assisted speaker, also a reminder of the time I spent in bed. The Bioshock-inspired playlist is never shuffled, so I can count the time in songs instead of minutes and hours. It was such a romantic era, I muse. So much for that in my life.

My joints ache as I get up and pad towards the kitchen. I don’t eat breakfast in the morning, only coffee. I start the boiler and pour exactly one teaspoon of instant into my cup. I pour the water in and sit on my too-small couch, facing the TV. "I could call off work today. What do I have to lose anyway? They can’t fire me."

I get back up, every joint groaning at the couch being too low for me to sit comfortably, or get up properly. My phone vibrates, signaling a new message. I’ll look at it in the bus. I strip in the middle of the apartment and open the door of the dryer, still full of clothes from last week, and pull out a shirt and pants. I put them on reluctantly. "If I don’t go to work", I think reproachfully to myself, "I won’t have the money to do anything, or pay rent, which I need. At least, until New Year’s."

The bus ride to work is nightmarish. It saps all energy out of you before you’re even going to begin thinking about working. I grind my teeth, unable to push the inane chatter of the others out of my brain enough to keep calm. I finally decide to check that message. It’s from the girl on SWOON, my preferred dating app. I check her name again: Lilianne.

Hey Sophie! How’s your day going?

I slowly pen a reply, choosing my words.

I’m doing good, just going to work. You?

I’m about to put my phone away, people never reply to these things, when it vibrates in my hand. I check it.

Not doing much, but otherwise okay. Have you met anyone cool on this app so far? I just set mine up.

Honestly, not really. I met someone, and she was… not kind, especially towards the end.

It takes a moment for her to respond to this one.

Oh. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

It’s okay. I’m outta there and living by myself so I’m pretty happy. Alright, I gotta go to work, would you mind if I message you later?

Not at all, I would love to talk to you.

I let myself smile a little. Sometimes people were nice on these things. I get to work and I’m already underwhelmed. I hate my job. I go up to my supervisor and ask, “Where to boss?”

“Just your usual”, he replies, “Quality control.”

I sigh. Of course. I go sit at my station and start pulling out corks from a bag. I inspect each one for imperfections, throwing out those who show them, and putting the rest in a basket. I continue until my basket is full, then hand it to someone else for final inspection before they’re put in a box. Rinse and repeat. For hours. Every two hours there’s a break and I take those blessed moments to go smoke. Each drag from my e-cigarette is pure bliss during those breaks, a moment stolen only for myself.

I work in a facility for people with different mental or physical challenges. For me, it was being out of a job because of a psychotic break and never truly recovering from the anxiety. I still get those intense pangs of fear, but in the past three months since I’ve been here, while I may not have found mental stimulation, I’ve found safety.

After a full day of this routine I go home, the bus ride a different type of hell. My coworkers want to interact with each other and find friendship and someone to talk to, I only want to be left alone. I should bring headphones tomorrow.

I trudge up the stairs and unlock my door. “I’m home”, I say out of habit, but no one is there to hear it. I live alone. My phone dings as I fumble for the lights. I check it.

Are you done with work?

Lilianne again. Encouraging. I reply.

Yeah, finally. My job is not exactly fun.

Oh? What do you do?

Quality control in a factory setting. Nothing to write home about. It pays the bills.

Gotta have one of those sometimes. Do you live by yourself?

Yep. I don’t even have a pet. I’m not allowed according to the rental agreement.

Would it cheer you up to see my cat? She’s very cute.

Absolutely! Send away :)

A few seconds later, a photo appears on the screen. A big, round creature with green eyes and dark fur with small patches of white. This cat looks like the sweetest thing I’ve seen in a long time. She looks like she’d eat right out of my hand.

I write back.

I confirm, she’s very cute. What’s her name?

Susan. I call her Susie. She’s the love of my life.

Awww :) Little Susan.

Haha she’s more than little, though that’s partially my fault.

I try to think of something to reply but my mind comes up empty. I don’t know how to steer a conversation that well. Not to mention, this person actually replies. My phone dings again.

Can I give you my number?

A slight tingling creeps over my face. She wants to take this off SWOON.

Of course! I’ll even give you mine!

#authors #writing #sapphic #wlw

[thrillshield1]

The Ultimate Guide To What To Expect In The Age Of Aquarius

2020 was 12 months of chaos, so none of us were surprised when it ended along with a celestial event of identical immensity: the wonderful conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn, the two largest earths in our solar energy unit. The two worlds were, in fact, at each other's feets. After a time and a one-half, when, as Jupiter's moon, it was around 6.75 million miles away, the earth's surface slowly started to dissipate as it collided with its partner, the other earth. Depending on to Brand-new York-based astrologist, Aliza Kelly, this appointment takes place every 20 years, but simply once every 800 years in Aquarius. At this point, the whole principle of Aquarius being one of the ultimate astronomical occasions of our opportunity would be out of range for her. Not only that, but Aquarius shows up to possess the potential to be the greatest-ever substantial activity we've possessed. And that might be one of three things—the ultimate of all feasible options! “It indicate the Age of Aquarius or as I prefer, the Age of Air. No a lot longer you find yourself along with such a brief home window of possibility to establish your fine art, where the exact idea of your very own fertilization has got to its optimal, and is taking up an entire brand new dimension? Well, your creative electricity are a little off. You can attempt to work a little bit a lot more like a regular teen, you'll have to produce some modifications before your imaginative job takes a a lot sharper turn. It’s something rather tremendous,” she details. In our culture, individuals have constantly been drawn to points of enormous worth. It has not been effortless for us to placed in to words how a lot body weight is positioned on being an vital individual. Our households have therefore much appreciation for one an additional, you have to be able to share your thoughts, produce program, attend meetings, and be the leader to get things carried out. Jupiter will definitely stay in Aquarius for about a year, while Saturn are going to remain for two-and-a-half years. These earths, located at around 10 to 30 AU in dimension, are commonly called "superstar belts," where our most distant worlds form. A single moon orbiting a star, phoned a "sunlight waistband," is often contacted a "celebrity waistband.". These stars are a fantastic location for exploring, but will you spot them? Over the previous 200 years, each time the worlds have converged, they’ve complied with in an Earth indication (with one exemption). One indicator that is popular in this time window, is that they were once better to the Sun. From that aspect, they relocated better right into space instead than directly right into our Solar System. This indicates that the sunlight was at least a little bit of more powerful in our Solar System than it was in the past. This opportunity, though, they’re going to satisfy in Aquarius, which is an sky indicator. This are going to have terrific effects for each of the eight seasons that we understand each of us to exist in today, so long as we continue to be within the very same prediction. At Aquarius we're residing in an age of 'normal', which is why it's thus rewarding to always keep a near eye on these three seasons now, from which we may look forward to future periods. When does Go Here For the Details of Aquarius begin? It seems like it began in October of 2012, after that turned over the ultimate couple of months. It must be well over a year. It is like a time capsule (or a part of paper along with a various personality) written by the outdated male before the revolution switched around. He has actually the writing from some of the various other writers who took the command. We are really delighted. What books were you surprised concerning the tale of the new publication? When does the Age of Aquarius begin? It seems like it started in October of 2012, after that switched over the ultimate couple of months. It ought to be properly over a year. It is like a opportunity pill (or a piece of newspaper along with a various character) written through the aged man before the revolution transformed around. He has the writing coming from some of the other writers who took the controls. We are really ecstatic. What books were you surprised about the tale of the brand-new manual? The exact starting day of this new grow older is up for discussion. But according to a analysis article, which has been written concerning through a group gotten in touch with Youth at Home and on the blog, all the younger individuals entailed have found a surge in alcohol usage at an worrying fee. Some 14,000 alcoholics were included in recent months, the study revealed, and it is anticipated that that growth in liquor use will definitely proceed. "In 2010, there was an total rise in unauthorized drug usage.

Some astrologers suggest it starts on the fresh equinox on March 20, 2021 in the north hemisphere, while others, such as Kelly, focus on the conjunction that took place in December 2020. The new study looked at three separate opportunity intervals from 2000-2013. The time period is thought to be very most likely to match along with the end of the Great Depression. The study found that the time periods are "a lot more likely" to correspond with the end of World War II. “It’s extra visionary than you might think,” she states. If this were real, after that it wouldn't be such a poor point to possess a great connection with anyone,
​  Or therefore she strongly believes. Well, the truth is that this isn't the end of this conversation.‪ There are actually so several possibilities for her to come to be an actress that's been increasing via these times. “There is actuallyn’t any kind of solid arrangement on when it starts. It's like people desire to understand how to carry out particular points.". In instance you didn't always keep monitor, the FBI has frequently said to the House and Senate Intelligence committees that it has no documentation of Russian collusion with the Trump campaign. Also as the FBI's attempts to challenge the head of state has ramped in the previous full week, White House representatives inform NBC News that President Trump has consistently rejected meddling along with official affairs.

#aquarius age #astrology website #age of aquarius

[hyperfixatinglove]

@noire-lover

I psychoanalyzed my crush Walker via a fic

Also I'm a mess by Bebe Rexha is totally a Walker song about me

Martin Walker was a fucking mess.

It was no secret, nothing to hide behind locked doors. That effort was and had been futile from the very start of leaving Dubai behind. Left behind but never forgotten. Never freed from. Not really.

The whole situation then and now, had always been and would always be FUBAR. This, Martin had acknowledged a while ago. But knowing it and internalizing the message were two different things. It was the latter he had difficulty with.

Since his situation was "fucked up beyond all recognition" - why would he ever and even try to improve it? Any attempts to help, improve the state in Dubai had been massive failure - resulting in multiple war crimes and his own PTSD aggravated to the point of him developing hallucinations. So, why he wanted to improve his state of mind, now? Why now, why not when it was happening and he. Could. Just. Stop.

He knew why, because he had been actively stomping his conscience to the ground like he stomped those belonging to 33rd.

He also, in the back of his head, knew why he wanted to, at least appear to have things more in control then he truly did - that damned civilian he had met by the damned statue.

His infatuation would only end in doom. There was nothing constructive or good or noble in it, in his feelings. He didn't want to be drowning any more, so he clung to the first person who hadn't hated him on sight, like she was his life belt, a way out of his own head, his own thoughts, blame, guilt, everything.

And yet, he couldn't fucking stop thinking about her. He hated how accurately he remembered her, just from couple meetings by the angel twice a week. He couldn't tell when it had become "their thing". She'd ask something intruding - most often about his keen "interest" in the statue - and he'd answer, vaguely but with enough detail she might get she was chatting with war criminal who had been deemed too unwell emotionally to receive sentence. What a fucking joke.

He had shot Konrad in the mirror specifically so someone could weight the atrocities he had committed, someone could tell he was guilty and make him have and suffer the consequences. Instead he was whisked off to be mentally tortured in idyllic paradise. Fucking FUBAR.

His little, pathetic, crush - which he utterly despised to have, yet clung to by his whole being - had invaded his hallucinations already. He had to remember to tell his doctor the damn pills weren't worth shit.

She had been so alive, then. Just existing in his kitchen, swaying like she often did when she thought he couldn't see, something she suppressed around him, smiling the same, infuriatingly endearing smile she did when she saw him. Her voice had been exact replica, hoarse yet gentle and always so damn understanding. Walker couldn't fathom why. He had held entire, long conversation with her until it dawned to him she didn't even know where he lived. Daydream mixed with his fucked up mind was one hell of a drug.

Yet, he was utterly obsessed with her. As if his mind couldn't get worse. When he saw her she was all he focused on, his visions taking temporary backseat, but still there, sometimes. Like she was the light in the darkness he was too deep in. His eyes burned everything and every detail to his mind, like he longed to immortalize her, her entire being and mannerism, should she ever decide to walk away and leave her in the mercy of the sand he swore he could still feel all around him.

And if, by some miracle she'd stay, he knew he would use her. Like he used and dragged Lugo and Adams along to wild goose chase across Dubai, that ended dooming them both. He would use her until she was nothing more than a shell of herself, just like Lugo had been, just like Adams became. He was nothing but war criminal, user, hater and he was. No. Hero.

Konrad's - or rather the Konrad he had conjured - words still stung. He was no hero. Never had been, never could be, like he desperately had wanted to the point of denying reality that existed right in front of his eyes.

He wanted to believe he could not use her, hurt her, but his past actions lit a different light and future. His mind had already tricked him into seeing her dragged into the sand like he had seen with Lugo. The red, flaming sky, the sand turning to ash in his mouth, the sand on the ground so red it reminded him of blood, Lugo on that same ground, begging, screaming him for help as disfigured people rose from the sand and dragged him down while Lugo screamed his name.

Part of him hated the comparisons his mind created but he had cared deeply for his squadmates. He got them killed, there was nothing that could stop him from hurting someone else close to him again.

Despite all of this, despite the whole situation, he was still craving for any contact with her. Close to counting hours to meeting her again, then when it happened, wearing the stoic mask he had been known for in military. Liking every time she used his first name, answering any philosophical question she had, slipped some military details she didn't know, just to watch her be intrigued by his words and watch her face lit up with wonder. The times she had touched him were etched into his body, as if the heat from her touch had crawled under his skin and into his very soul, if he still had one. Her eyes falling on him and he felt she was his salvation he had been craving before.

Martin Walker was a mess.

And a mess for Anna's love above all.

#my fics #the entire chorus is simply walker #guns tw

[despairandregretentertainment]

Curtain Call | Chris | Trial Vote Reaction | ATTN: Aurora, Iroha

As the final results are announced, rather than stay impassive like the two times previously, Chris openly grimaces this time as Iroha is announced as the ‘winner’ of the vote. He doesn’t think that he’d have been happy for Willow to have been voted either, that probably would have felt bad too for different reasons, but it hit differently when it was a friend up there. Who he’d voted for wasn’t something he’d openly broadcast, if he’d even had many votes left to vote with any sway at all after the event, but it was clear to see he wasn’t happy about the result either way.

He isn’t surprised to hear her real name, both because he already knew it and because he didn’t doubt that TE would be willing to reveal that, from everything they’d done so far. Despicable. 

As Iroha and Sorano both go off on their own tirades, Chris can feel a pounding headache starting to form, and he pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment as everything else happens. That’s only going to get worse for the competition, isn’t it? Ugh, he doesn’t want to think about whatever that will be now. 

Lister is over by Iroha first, then Momo is coming in, and Aurora looks at him pleadingly. Chris gives her a nod, and moves over to sit beside her, whispering his best attempt at an explanation for what everyone was saying to her for a moment as everyone else says and does what they are. A quick, abbreviated version of all that had just occurred, despite his pounding headache. Once he’s done, he reaches into his pocket and takes out what’s presumably a pain pill to swallow for that.

And finally… after that, Chris gives a very tired smile towards Iroha, standing up again to make his way over to her properly.

“Hey. Any chance you can give me those glasses back, if you don’t think you’ll be using em now?” HCISUHSDUISD that’s really what he’s gonna say first to a woman about to die, huh- He gives a wry smile that’s still just a touch of sadness.

“That’s not all I was going to say either, don’t worry. I don’t have as much reach in Japan as I do in the US, and I know other people have already offered, but if there’s anything I can do for your brother and your girls or whatever else, I will do what I can. For Momo too. We still don’t know which of us are going to make it out of here properly, so might as well have as many bases covered, y’know?”

He wouldn’t dwell on the reality of which of them might make it out of here right now, but putting that out there was something he would still do. If nothing else, he was good at organizing things between other people too.

With Momo on Iroha right now, he doesn’t get too close to give them space, but he does extend a hand for Iroha to take for a quick squeeze. It wasn’t like he was one for hugs much anyways.

“I wish you hadn’t killed anyone here. That you hadn’t let your personal hatred come before your own safety and just stuck with me to survive our way to the end together. But I don’t regret giving you the help I could after, at least. You absolutely deserved that chance to live.” Even if he still wasn’t happy about her trying to get Willow killed for it instead, he understood how it went, and he had been well aware of her feelings on her before now. More than anything else, he’d tried his best to make it Possible for her to survive, even if he hadn’t accused anyone in her place, knowing it had been her.  

“And.. thanks. I’ll take care of myself however I can. It was… It was nice knowing and talking to you too, and sharing what we did. It’s a real shame I never got to dance with you, Iroha.”

If only, huh?

#submission

[artsybi]

fuck how is it only tuesday i want it to be thursday bc i want to go to therapy bc if i dont get a chance to talk abt these fucking intrusive thoughts im gonna end up hurting myself

#jesus fucking christ i dont ACTUALLY want to take my entire bottle of adderall #but it's become so reacurring that i'm worried that i might end up doing it to try and shut the thoughts up #or that at the very least i might end up taking two pills instead of one #and like my doc would prolly have a heart attack #i just........ jesus the last time i tried to mention intrusive thoughts to my mother she like didnt look me in the eye for two days #and i dont want to burden my friends w the shit that's going on in my head #but idk if i can get through two more days without talking abt them #just......yeah #intrusive thoughts #intrusive thinking #adhd #therapy #mental health #ugh how do i shut them up #tw intrusive thoughts #rant #vent #sorry im just really fucking exhausted