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hailsatanacab · 5 months

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A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

#dpxdc #batpham #i forget - can we tag the parent fandoms? w/e #immediately alfred's like: while i do appreciate your initiative may i suggest it wait until after dinner?#and danny - who has barely eaten proper homecooked food ever - takes one bite and then absolutely wolfs down the whole lot #after he's finished he's like 'bear with - I've got to add that to the 'Reasons I Would Like to Live Here' section'#danny's powerpoint has tailored sections for each batfam member with lists of reasons why they'd get along #my au thoughts on this is that the fentons disowned danny when he told them he was phantom #and that this is after the ultimate enemy - wherein which he allied himself with the JL to fight against dan #(which didnt really work at all - BUT he knows some of their identities now INCLUDING batman's)#so one of the main reasons why he'd be a great fit is that he knows their vigilante status anyway so they don’t need to worry about secrets #dick just turns to tim like 'he’s your friend. he learnt this from you.'#tim: 'i didn't tell him our identities!! i would never!!'#dick: 'no i know that. it's the stalker tendancies. it's baby tim all over again'#tim: scandalised gasp #they all eat dinner in silence just super subdued and in shock and sending glances to bruce and danny #duke like: 'so i know I'm the last one in the family but like... this isn't how it normally happens right? did any of you make powerpoints?#tim gets all shifty because he absolutely did make a powerpoint he just never actually showed it to anyone #everyone stares at tim because they all know. it was in one of bab's blackmail files she has on him #damian's slide has danny offering to throw down at any time. 'tim says you like to prove yourself with your skills?#how about a real challenge? if i beat you then you have to vote yes to adopting me!'#damian is in two minds about accepting because... 1) look at him damian could take danny in his sleep! but #2) on the off chance that he does win... damian does not want any more brothers #(he takes the bet and its a suprisingly fun fight - and while he'll never say this... he would vote yes even without the wager)#on one of danny's slides there's a picture of ellie: you'll also get my clone sister! two children for the price of one!!#uhhh.... thats it now - I've been having fun with this haha #spent all day with the 'ive lured you here under false pretences' 'danny i live here' line in my head haha #anyway enjoy!!!!!! this was fun #i wanna make these slides so bad

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jim-kirks-bubble-butt · 1 month

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he’s so beautiful

#throwing yourself ass-first at your enemies is now the only way to fight #what a man #he’s perfect #star trek #star trek tos #james kirk #jim kirk #james t kirk #tos #first time watching

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beaulesbian · 12 days

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One Piece episode 1100

So that's the Warrior of Liberation!

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mando-din-lorian · 1 year

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✨ Manifesting Bobadin for the finale ✨

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infernal-lamb · 7 months

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the lamb: yall mind if i explode into tentacles

havin a little fun with the lamb and potential tentacle body horror because i think sometimes they should be gross. why SHOULDN'T these God creatures be an affront to the nature of creation

#cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb fanart #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl oc #cotl fanart #i was just like what if the lamb was like a gross resident evil enemy #*gasps softly* las plagas cultist.......#also i headcanon that narinder can still do that gross face thing but he can't do much else. so he just bothers everyone with it #everyone eventually gets used to it and narinder is like FINE i guess no one appreciates theatrics anymore. fuck off.#the lamb as disgusting and monstrous as ever: hey stop scaring her she's very sensitive :(#neves: *isn't paying attention to the sermon* why is there goo everywhere i hate it here #every sermon has a splash zone. pray u are not in it #U can tell how I got progressively lazier drawing. Sorry.#*continues to shove my oc in your faces*#my art

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potatounicoorn · 5 days

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It's a hereditary trait, nothing to be done😔

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ominouspuff · 2 months

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Continuing this fix-it AU where Commander Fox springboards off the deep end into a full-on rebellion, featuring unlikely allies belatedly finding out they are allies far too late to stop being allies but then again it’s never too late not to throw a terrifyingly destructive fit about it (Maul)

Close-up’s under the cut

#fan art #artists on tumblr #star wars fanart #star wars: the clone wars #fix it au #commander fox #obi wan kenobi #padme naberrie #darth maul #Fox - this NEW ally I found is amazing he too hates the Chancellor and he’s giving me guns to use which is my favorite thing #Obi-Wan - Oh perfect I can’t wait to meet this mysterious ally #Maul - Bet #rebel!fox #Maul/the ever present urge to yeet into the void when you realize you’ve been helping your second most hated sworn enemy #feat. Padme slowly but surely losing her will to keep the pinky extended #My sole goal was to come up with context so I could draw that Maul face and it got out of hand #Repurposing GAR Armor AU

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egophiliac · 1 year

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the juxtaposition between "it's pronounced Fae of Maleficence, but it means Blessing!" is sure an interesting choice there, Mal.

still not 100% happy with this one, but I know I keep overworking it, so I think I need to just be done! getting all the important elements in without overcrowding it turned out to be more of a challenge than I anticipated. :')

(also, we're going to have to wait at least a month to find out what it even does exactly, uggghhh I'm so impatient)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #unique magic posters #<- i made a tag for them!#i wanted this one to be special because it's a big story moment #and also he's my special little guy #but perfect is the enemy of good and murder your darlings and all that #sometimes you just gotta be done! and that's okay!

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simp-for-mystery · 2 months

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2 words

Protective. Team.

Give me Young justice after Tim brings back Bruce. Give me the team, minus Tim, voting and deciding the bats can't be trusted with their bird boy and just taking him.

Dick: Tim's been kidnapped!

Kon (having been waiting to start a fight): oh so NOW you care he's not in Gotham?!

Damian: Haven't seen Drake aroun-

Bart (waiting for this moment and zooming in): And you never will again if I have a say in it (does the finger point to eyes and to him before disappearing)

Jason: Has anyone seen replac-

Cassie(appearing with the lasso of truth): I will lasso you and force your deepest secrets to be public, try me.

So yeah, protective friends who got beef with the batfamily. They also maybe are gaslight gatekeep girlbossing Tim to stay out of Gotham but listen! IT'S FOR HIS OWN GOOD!

😌trust