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botanistlester · 7 years

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A Dance With Death

Summary: Dan is the God of Death, who helps people to the Underworld when they pass. One day, he randomly pops up at a masquerade ball for Prince Philip's coming of age ceremony. He doesn't know why he is there, but it's hard to focus on his job when the prince asks him to dance. Word Count: 7,919 Warnings: character death, blood, graphic depictions of dying A/N: Many thanks to Haley ( @haleykinz) for this WONDERFUL idea! I just kinda took this idea and ran with it, and now it's far too long. As you can see, this does have character death in it. BUT, it is a happy ending. I mean, Dan's the God of Death, what do you expect? Also thank you to Jillian ( @jilliancares) and Elizajane ( @snowbunnylester) for helping me develop this fic, and thank you to Hannah ( @flyingstarshowell) for betaing this for me :') love u all

Voted Second for Best Combination in the phanfic awards 2017! tag urself, god edition art by haley art by @dilshamster Read it on AO3!

Dan has a guilty pleasure.

It’s a weird one, that’s for sure, something that most people like him don’t have any desire for. But he can’t seem to help it, honestly. He likes the way people move around him, how they laugh and dance and genuinely don’t care about anything else in the world. He likes the way girls’ dresses flow as they twirl and the way men wear little bow ties around their necks. Hell, sometimes girls wear bowties, and Dan likes that too.

And for a single moment, nobody thinks about death.

Masquerade dances are the perfect excuses for Dan to be himself. Well, kind of.

He’s dead. He’s been dead for thousands of years, in fact. He is a creature of the underworld, one made of bone and paper-thin flesh that he can mould to his liking. He have s changed his appearance sometimes, just because he could. Once, he had found himself moulding into Shrek and had laughed for a good three weeks before deciding to change it up.

His current appearance was one that he’d taken quite a liking to. He looked human. As human as someone without a soul could look, at least. He had dark brown eyes and curly brown hair to match. His skin was pale, because he was dead of course, and there were two dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. He towered over other humans, but he kind of liked it, and he wore black because he was dead, damn it.

To some, he was known as the devil. To others, he was known as death. But to Dan? He was Dan. Just a guy who accompanied those who passed on their journey to the Underworld. He made sure that they didn’t get lost, like the fumbling babies they truly were upon dying, made sure that they didn’t get stuck in Purgatory, and for God’s sake, don’t drink the water, Susan.

That’s why Dan liked masquerade balls so much. He liked how nobody knew who he was, how nobody paid attention to death staring them right in the face. He liked the life that flitted around the room, and he definitely liked the punch that made his brain rattle in his skull.

He thought he looked particularly snazzy that night. His hair wasn’t as frizzy as normal and actually had some defined curls, which was nice. A black mask covered his face, one decorated with rubies and had roses crawling up the sides. It perched upon his nose like a bird and he liked the protection it gave him. He was wearing an all-black tux as well, including a black undershirt and a black bow tie. He wore a black cloak just because he could, because he was Death, and he was extra, damn it.

He looked like Death himself. Pun intended.

He didn’t have to worry about whether or not he was invited, because he could just say a name and have it pop up on the list. Being a person of the Underworld had it’s perks, he supposed.

Today was one of the days where Dan popped up at a masquerade dance without expecting it. Normally, whenever somebody was close to death, he would just pop up somewhere and he'd have to wait for a little bit to know who was actually going to pass, and today was one of those times.

It just so happened to be at a masquerade ball, much to Dan’s excitement.

He made his way through the crowd, watching as the humans all chattered away, dancing to weirdly fancy violin music. They ate little cakes on tiny porcelain plates and their drinks were in champagne glasses, regardless of whether or not it was actually alcohol or not. Just from this, Dan figured that he was at some sort of important event.

Maybe something to do with royalty?

He blended in for a while, tried to chat to some of the humans as if he were one of them, as if he wasn’t rotting flesh stretched around dead bones. Meanwhile, he kept his eyes on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary, for someone who would randomly drop dead, sending their soul into the fourth dimension.

Nothing yet, so he engaged in a conversation about how the punch was absolutely divine with a woman wearing a white dress made mostly out of feathers. Dan didn’t quite understand human fashion, but he appreciated the absolute absurdity of it anyway. Back when he had been alive, Dan had been wearing pretty much just a loin cloth, so the evolution of clothing was always so fascinating to him.

Suddenly, a hush fell over the crowd and Dan thought, this is it. The humans all turned, the music stopped, and a trumpet started to sing a tune that hurt Dan’s ears. He didn’t know why there was a trumpet playing when someone had died, but Dan didn’t pay any mind to it and stepped forth, trying to shove himself between the masses to the center where he would be able to walk the poor soul to the Underworld.

Except, nobody was dead.

For some reason, everybody had turned to look at a man. He walked onto the floor wearing a navy blue blazer with a white undershirt and black bowtie. He was also wearing black dress pants and had various pins on his blazer that screamed royalty. His hair was as black as a raven’s wing, his skin putting Snow White herself to shame, and his eyes sparkled against the blue of his dress clothes. There was a white mask perched against his face, pearls dancing around the edges. It made his skin seem ever more pale, but it also made him seem to shine.

For a moment, Dan lost his breath. And then he remembered that he didn’t have to breathe in general, so he let out a useless breath anyway and gaped because that’s what he felt like he should do. If he had a heart, it would have stuttered a beat, probably fallen out of his ass and shattered on the floor.

Dan didn’t believe in love. He was a god of death, not a god of love. Adoré was in charge of love and all things gross, not him.

And yet, for a moment, Dan forgot he was the god of death. He looked around for any signs of Adoré hanging around. Maybe she’d hit him with her magic love potions or something. But alas, she was nowhere to be found, and Dan caught himself staring at this beautiful human once more, taking in the beauty mark on his cheek and the way his eyes sparkled three different colours in the light.

The trumpet stopped singing, and a voice rang out then. “Thank you all for coming to our Royal Ball to celebrate Prince Philip’s coming of age! By the end of the night, we are hoping to find a bride for the Prince, who will carry on the Lester name.” Dan glanced around to find the source of the voice, and he found the man a little ways in front of Philip, holding himself with his head held high and his fist to his chest. It was a bit strange, but Dan didn’t question it.

He didn’t quite understand human customs yet, apparently.

The ball commenced then, and Dan stood back as a mass of people flocked to the prince like bugs to a light. Dan crinkled his nose, figuring that it would be pretty horrible to have that many people stood around him, so he decided to leave the prince to himself (no matter how badly he also wanted to flock to him). Instead, he busied himself by looking around, taking in the exquisite details of the room.

There were giant pillars that cast shadows on the floors and paintings on the ceiling of various flowers and trees. The floors were black and white marble, and Dan could even see gold glinting on the floor under the bright lights. Lanterns hung on the walls, long mahogany tables lining them, obviously pushed out of the way so that people could use the dance floor. A few people were eating at the tables, and there were butlers carrying around plates of food.

One approached him, and Dan couldn’t help but be surprised by that. Usually if he wanted to talk to a human, he was the one who typically approached them. Someone had mentioned to him before that it’s because he has an uneasy aura, which he could understand. He is Death after all. “Would you like a strawberry fudge brownie bite?” the man asked, and Dan couldn’t help but snort at how not fancy the foods were.

“Of course,” Dan said nonchalantly, and then he took three off of the plate just because he could.

The man held up his finger. “Ah, only one per guest,” he said timidly, and Dan frowned.

“I’m taking three,” he told the man, cocking his head with a smirk. He narrowed his eyes, basking in the way the man seemed to shrink under his gaze. “Or did you have a problem with that?”

He knew he was scary, and he took full advantage of that fact. He knew that his eyes would glow red on command, something that the humans didn’t fully understand - something the humans didn’t want to understand. So they quaked in their shoes, terrified for their lives, and gossip spread around towns like wildfire about a man with eyes of blood and a cloak of black death. Most people didn’t believe in Death, but the folktale was there nonetheless, a story to tell the kids at night to make them stay in bed, a story that made people fear the dark.

The man fled. Dan smiled at his three brownies and began to dig in.

Dan was halfway through his second brownie when he heard a chuckle behind him. He didn’t pay any attention to it at first, because this brownie was truly delicious so he didn’t really care about anything else, but then a voice followed the chuckle, and Dan furrowed his eyebrows as he realised that the person was talking to him.

“Excuse me?” the voice came again, and Dan turned, only to nearly choke on his brownie. He swallowed it down, cleared his throat, and tried to look presentable, because the prince was standing in front of him, his eyes shining against the blue of his blazer. He looked so alive that Dan wanted to press his head against his chest to listen to his still-beating heart.

He didn’t understand why he was having these feelings all of a sudden. He’s seen many humans, many that were alive, and even more that were dead. None of them gave him a fuzzy feeling in his chest that made him wonder if he had come back to life. None until the prince of wherever the hell they were, at least.

Dan set his brownie on the table. He’d seen enough humans to know that he was supposed to bow down when he was graced by a royal presence. He didn’t usually care about human customs, but for some reason when it came to this ethereal specimen, he just couldn’t help himself. “What can I do you this honour, your grace?” he asked, a bit confused as to why the prince was talking to him, of all people.

The prince smiled, a pink tongue sticking out between his white teeth. His eyes sparkled and Dan was once again in amazement of how alive he was. Dan didn’t want to think about how one day, he was going to be the one to lead this beautiful human to the Underworld, never to be seen again. “That was impressive how you just ordered the servant around like that. I’m quite intrigued.”

Dan was at a loss of words, rather taken aback, so he just fiddled a bit with his cloak. He bit the inside of his cheek. He was supposed to be Death, he scolded himself. Now was no time to be shy about it. So he smiled, his lips that weren’t really his lips turning upwards. Under the scrutiny of the prince, he felt as though he could feel every twitch of his muscle, as though he were a machine being watched for any mistake. It was a strange feeling, one that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Thank you?” he said, a bit confused at the statement.

This just made the prince laugh, who threw his head back heartily, showing the skin of his neck. Dan could see his adam’s apple bounce and his tongue felt heavy in his mouth. “I like your cape,” the prince said sincerely, and Dan frowned despite himself.

“It’s a cloak,” he corrected before he could stop himself. Immediately, he internally groaned and wanted to bash his head into the wall. Why would he say something like that to the most beautiful human in existence? He probably thought he was weird now or something.

But Prince Philip just laughed, and shook his head a little bit. “I like your cloak then,” he corrected himself, and his smile was blinding now. Dan could feel the presence of the hundreds of other guests around them, watching them, but Philip didn’t pay any attention to them. His eyes were all on Dan, and God, Dan must have died all over again. “I’m Phil. And you are…?” Phil. The nickname made Dan’s cheeks warm, which is weird because he definitely didn’t have any blood in his veins the last time he checked. “I’m Dan,” Dan replied dumbly. There was a reason he was the god of death, damn it! He wasn’t good with people, didn’t understand them! The last time he was human, he didn’t have any of the new age crap they had, so it all went over his head.

“Dan,” Phil said, and the name rolled off of Phil’s tongue like it was greeting an old friend. Dan shivered because it’d been awhile since anyone had said his name. Or maybe it was just because it was Phil who was saying it. “Would you like to dance with me?”

Dan’s first instinct was to eye the brownies he’d set on the table. There was still one and a half left, and they were so good that he didn’t really want to leave them. But then he cleared his head a little, yelled at himself a little bit, and had a moment of realisation that a prince wanted to dance with Death.

... What?

Dan gaped at him. “You want to dance with me?” he asked stupidly.

Phil smiled and didn’t say anything, just extended an arm to him, and Dan could do nothing else but take it. He didn’t quite know what was happening or why Phil wanted to dance with him, but he did know that Phil was supposed to be looking for a wife and Dan was supposed to be looking for a lost soul. However, when Phil’s arm curled around his waist, and his hand settled on Dan’s shoulder, Dan’s mind went completely blank.

He couldn’t see anyone else, couldn’t think of anything else. All he could focus on was the prince, how he was so full of life, how his skin was illuminated under the lights. It was like he was emitting his own golden glow, like he was some otherworldly creature that had captured Dan under his spell. It was unsettling, but Dan didn’t pay any attention to that.

He laughed a little when he tripped over the prince’s feet. He’d never danced before in his life, but Phil was quick to steady him, his arms strong and supportive, and Dan could feel himself falling deeper into infatuation for this human. He was really going to have to get on Adoré’s case later, because she was no doubt playing a trick on him.

They danced until Dan’s feet were aching and Phil’s breath was coming out in short gasps, but they were grinning nonetheless. They didn’t pay any mind to the people around them, and Phil seemed to be ignoring the whole wife thing completely.

Dan was curious though. He’s always been a curious guy; it was just in his nature. So he brought it up when they broke away to grab some punch from one of the servants, served in some crystal champagne glasses that were far too fancy for punch.

“Why are you wasting your time dancing with me when you could be looking for a beautiful bride?”

Phil paused before he could take a sip of his drink, and Dan’s eyes were drawn to the glass. Something was niggling in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t quite tell what, so he decided to ignore it instead, hanging onto every word that Phil said. “I wanted to dance with you,” Phil told him, smiling as Dan met his eyes again. He swore he could get lost in those eyes. “Out of all of the people in the room, you were the only one who stood out to me. You and that cape, that is.” He flicked Dan’s cloak with a finger to accentuate his point and Dan gasped in mock offense.

“Excuse you, this is a cloak!” Dan exclaimed, watching as Phil lifted the glass to his lips once more.

All of a sudden, Dan could feel everything turn to slow motion. His fingers began to tingle and his eyes widened in horror. The glass rose to Phil’s lips inch by inch, and Dan’s chest began to ache. The god of death inside of him began to tremble with want, the way that it always did right before someone was about to die, and-

Holy shit, Dan was here because Phil was going to die.

He didn’t know what to do. For the first time in his immortal life, Dan didn’t want to see a human die and go to the Underworld. In fact, he didn’t want to see this human die at all. Phil was too good, too full of life, and Dan didn’t think he could fathom it if he had to watch those gorgeous blue eyes slowly lose their light.

Without thinking, Dan caught Phil’s wrist in his hand. Phil squeaked and a little bit of punch spilled out of the chute and onto the pretty marble floors, staining it with the poison. Their eyes met, Phil’s expression one of horror and confusion, and Dan didn’t even have to see his own reflection to know that his eyes were glowing red, his cloak seeming to flutter without any breeze in the room.

Dan was well aware that people were staring, that a guard was yelling at him to unhand the prince, but all he could focus on was the fact that Phil was safe, that he wasn’t going to die tonight.

“Don’t drink the punch,” Dan said, his voice coming out as more of a growl. He could feel his physical body start to dissipate and he let go of Phil’s hand to throw the punch on the floor before lifting his hood up to cover his face.

“Dan, what-?!” Phil gasped out when he got over his initial shock. He reached out to grab Dan’s arm, but his hand went right through him. Dan watched, his stomach sunk to the floor as Phil flinched away, staring at his own hands as if they’d offended him themselves.

Before Dan could completely disappear from sight, he smiled as best as he could. But it was a sad smile, knowing that he would most likely not see this man again for a very long time. He didn’t know what would happen because he just defied Fate, but he knew it would not be good.

“Someone is trying to kill you,” Dan told him in a soft voice. “Please don’t make me come back here. I really don’t want to have to help you travel to the Underworld.”

Phil didn’t get to reply before Dan vanished into thin air, leaving chaos in his wake. He only knew that he would no longer be able to show his face around Phil’s city again without changing his features.

After all, the God of Death isn’t welcomed to masquerade parties.

“Dan, what the hell?”

Dan opened his eyes to find that he was in the deity conference room, a huge colosseum in the sky where the gods held important meetings. He should have figured he’d end up here after the stunt he’d pulled.

It was Adoré who’d spoken, her rose coloured eyes filled with fury. Her ebony skin shined in the iridescent light of the colosseum and she wore intricate patterns of gold that sat against her skin like it was engraved into it.

Dan frowned and rubbed a hand through his face. He could feel the bones jutting out from his cheeks, the skin having dissolved from his bones. He focused on his soul and formed a body for himself once more, despite how it made his head ache and his bones crack. He just really didn't feel like walking around as a giant skeleton in front of the other gods at the moment. “What are you yelling at me for?” he mumbled, pulling his cloak back over his head.

This time his statement made a round of grumbles travel its way around the table. Dan sighed, bracing himself.

“You can’t just fuck with fate, Dan!” Theos, the God of Fate shrilled. Dan knew that this would happen; Theos never liked him, even though Dan had never really screwed around with fate until now. Yet now that he did, Theos was taking full advantage of his hatred. Dan didn’t really blame him. He didn’t know what had come over him in that ballroom, but it was definitely not Death God-like. “Do you know what you’ve done?!”

Dan could guess, but he shook his head anyways because he liked hearing Theos freak out on him. It was a bit funny to see such a small man - only rearing on three feet tall - yelling at him in a strong voice, his face turning the same shade as a tomato. It was rather hilarious and Dan found himself stifling his laughter, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You- how can you be so relaxed right now?!” Theos snarled, shaking his head with a scoff. His beautiful golden locks of hair flicked around the air and Dan watched in rapt fascination. If he truly wanted to, he could also have hair that bodacious and beautiful, but he found himself more comfortable in his current form, and that saddened him greatly. He wanted cool hair too. “You just upset the sequence of time! That man - Philip Lester - was supposed to die tonight. What is going to happen to the time sequence now?! That man currently doesn’t have a fate! He is literally a being with no meaning!”

Dan frowned. He didn’t like the way they were talking about Phil. He was too good of a person to die. He should live a happy life, maybe have a wife and kids, and then Dan could watch from afar as he lived to his fullest potential. And only when Phil was ready, Dan would be there to take his hand and walk him to the Underworld. Now was not his time. “Well then just make up a timeline for him. It’s not that hard, and you and I both know it.”

The whole table gaped at him, and it was Leonidas who spoke next. He was the God of Time, and Dan was pretty sure he and Theos were sleeping together. “Dan, you unfathomable idiot.” Leonidas flexed his muscles and Dan hummed, staring at his biceps. Physical bodies were so fascinating. Theos was a lucky man. “I’m afraid it doesn’t quite work like that.”

“Well, why not?” Dan asked, feeling like a child stomping his foot. The entire god race was pissed at him and Dan didn’t understand why. So what? Death saved a life. Sure, it was ironic, but they were literally gods. They could do what they wanted.

“If a god saves another human, none of the other gods can touch him,” Adoré murmured in her soft tone of voice. This time, she seemed sad, as if she could look right through Dan and see exactly why he’d decided to save Phil’s life. “Philip literally doesn’t have a fate anymore. He has no reason to live. The entire world will be against him now and he’ll most likely be dead within a fortnight at this rate. It’s nothing Theos or Leonidas or you can fix. He’s a goner, Dan.”

Dan’s heart dropped. Well, if he had one. He felt like he had one, that’s for sure. How many millennia has it been since he’s felt like there was a physical muscle beating in his body? He didn’t have emotions, he didn’t have feelings. And yet, he still felt as though he was going to pass out. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not, Dan,” Adoré murmured quietly, and the whole room went completely silent, waiting for Dan’s reaction.

Dan couldn’t breathe. He could never breathe, but now his entire chest was constricting and he could feel his skin beginning to melt away, revealing his true form. He didn’t have enough energy to keep on the mask anymore, it seemed. Why had nobody told him of this? Why was he so blissfully unaware that if he saved a human life, he would have to end it shortly after? Phil had a life before Dan. He had a reason to live. He could have had a happy night before passing.

And then Dan had to get involved and ruin it all.

“Are… are you in love with him?” Adoré asked, and Dan’s head snapped up.

“No!” he snarled, his cape beginning to rise and his eyes shining red. “I’m the God of Death, Adoré, I don’t have human emotions like the rest of you!”

It seemed to cause a riot throughout the colosseum, because everyone started talking at once. Dan could make out snippets here and there, but nothing really stood out to him. They were all rambling, coming up with their own theories, trying to figure out why Dan had saved a human if he didn’t feel anything for him. Dan didn’t know why either, but his head was beginning to hurt. He hated being scrutinized by the rest of the gods like a piece of bad meat.

“Wait!” a voice shouted then, and all of the attention was turned to the end of the table. Gabrielle stood tall. She had climbed on the table and her white hair shone in the godly light of the room. Her purple skin sparkled silver and her eyes burned blue bullets into Dan’s body. He froze, uncertain as to why the God of all gods was talking to him. She usually didn’t give a care in the world about what the rest of them were doing. When they were fighting, she was usually cooing over the dogs that were birthed every day on Earth. Dan didn’t know too much about her besides that fact, but he always thought she looked cooler than the rest of them. “Dan,” she said, pointing at him. Dan raised his eyebrows, pointing to himself. He could tell that she was talking to him. There was no need to point. “You were a human before you became a god.”

Dan rolled his eyes. He’d known that already, could remember being a human. So why did that have anything to do with the topic? “Okay, yeah, I know. I remember.” He scowled, raising an eyebrow. “The fuck does that have to do with anything, Gabrielle?”

She walked towards him, still on the table, and her white gown flowed behind her as though it was performing a ballet. Dan always liked dresses, had even worn some on occasion, but they always felt too breezy for him to be fully comfortable. “You’re the only one of us who was born a human. What if those human emotions remained after you became the God of Death? What if you’re feeling something because that’s what your human part wants you to feel?”

“If that’s the case, then why did it take me tens of thousands of years to actually feel something?”

Gabrielle shrugged. “Obviously Philip triggered something in you that made you remember how to feel. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. However, I think it’s wrong of you to act on those emotions and mess with the fate that Theos chose for him. That was a huge mistake on your part, Dan.”

Theos muttered aloud, “You tell him, Gab,” under his breath, and Dan resisted the urge to growl at him.

“But!” Gabrielle continued, holding up her finger to silence the other gods. Her eyes burned brighter and her cheekbones were sharp and slightly terrifying, but Dan has seen things, has seen Death itself, so he wasn’t scared of her in the slightest. “I pity you, so I’m going to let it slide this time.”

A round of groans sounded around the colosseum. Dan wasn’t exactly the most loved of the gods, mostly because he simply didn’t care about anything; he had to bet that most of them wanted to see him fall. But Dan knew Gabrielle, knew her more than any of the other gods knew her. She was there when Dan had become a god, had been there when death took him and abandoned him in Purgatory. She’d opened her arms wide, told Dan that he was special and that he could live an eternal life as long as he helped lost souls find their way home.

He hadn’t understood what she’d meant at the time, but he was eternally grateful for her and the way she’d raised him into the being he was today. In a sense, she was the mother that Dan had been craving since he’d shown his own mother her way to the Underworld.

“You can’t just let him get off with this,” Leonidas cried out, followed by angry nods from the other gods. The only exception was Adoré, who seemed a bit intrigued, staring at Dan with something curious and soft in those magenta eyes. Dan hated it.

Gabrielle snorted, rolling her eyes. “I can do what I want. Don’t talk to me, Leo. I’m talking to Dan.” She turned those blue eyes back on Dan, looking thoughtful. She twirled white hair around her finger until it was in a tight coil, kind of like a snake. “I’m not going to punish you because I like you and I think you had good intentions, Dan. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you display any human emotions.” Dan knew exactly the last time she was talking about. When he’d just walked his mum to the Underworld and he completely broke down in Gabrielle’s arms. After that, he couldn’t really feel anything at all, and that’s when he guessed his humanity left his body. “The fact of the matter is that Phil does not have a fate anymore because you saved him, so he will not be able to live. But I made the same mistake as you before, and it was the best decision of my life.”

Murmurs broke out around them, and Dan couldn’t look away from those bright blue eyes. He had a feeling that he knew exactly what she was talking about, but he couldn’t remember what it was. It was on the tip of his tongue, a memory on the edge of his mind that just couldn’t come to life.

Gabrielle smiled and memories flooded his mind.

He had just celebrated his birthday and had been out with some of his friends. They spoke an ancient language, one that Dan could understand because it was his original language. They were all shooting their bows and arrows, having a good laugh, when all of a sudden a cry came from behind Dan.

Dan had turned, found his friend staring in horror at a woman with skin that held a million galaxies and white hair that sparkled in the sun. She had an arrow in her shoulder, one that was oozing blood the colour of ink. Dan couldn’t tell much from the situation, but he could tell enough to know that this woman, this strange and alien woman, had just jumped in front of an arrow and saved his life.

He had sprung forward, speaking so quickly that his tongue tied up and he could barely understand what he was saying, but he found himself at her side, trying to pry out the arrow. His mum had been the healer in his village so he’d known a lot about medicines and how to patch people up, so he used that information to extract the arrow and stitch the wound with a needle and twine.

The woman disappeared after that, and Dan only saw her days later when he’d drowned in a river and she was there to greet him, kissing him on the forehead and offering him eternal life.

Now, Dan understood. She had made the same mistake as he had. For some reason, she had saved his life, and when Dan had later passed away, he was made into a God because he had no fate with life nor death.

Gabrielle smiled at him and she closed her eyes, ignoring the backlash from the other gods. She knew that Dan understood, knew that Dan could choose to follow in her footsteps for the person that Dan felt affection for. It was a rare circumstance, one that had only happened once before, but Dan was ready to take the risk.

Even if he didn’t want to watch Philip die.

“Go to him,” Gabrielle told him, and Dan nodded. He felt a bit brighter now, more hopeful than he had in his entire life.

He wrapped his cloak around his shoulders, put his hood over his head, and focused on the image of Phil in his mind. He didn’t know what he was doing at the moment, but Dan knew that he would show up wherever Phil was.

The colosseum broke into loud chatter as Dan dissolved from the room, only to pop up in a room that he’d never seen before. It was dark, the only light emanating from the open window where the moon was leaving a kiss of silver upon the walls. There was a bed in the middle of the room, and Dan figured that it was Phil who was wrapped up in the elegant duvet, a lump among the covers.

Dan watched for a moment, not moving. Now that he was here, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Wasn’t it a bit creepy to watch someone sleep? Would it scare Phil off if he had just randomly appeared in his bedchamber? Dan hesitated, not moving, and just waited.

He waited until a cough erupted from the bed and Phil moved, turning around in bed. He turned so that Dan could see his face, that beautiful face that Dan had missed so dearly in the short time they’d been away. Although, time passed differently between the realms, so whereas only a few hours had passed in the colosseum, Dan knew that a few days had passed in the human world.

His nonexistent heart dropped when he saw Phil’s face. His eyes were closed, he was sleeping, but he seemed horribly sick. His eyes were sunken into his head and his cheeks were caved in. He reminded Dan of what he looked like when he didn’t mould himself some skin, and it made Dan’s chest ache to see. His skin was so pale that there was a light blue tinge to it, and his lips were dry and cracked. As Dan watched, Phil coughed again, one that was congested and made blood spurt onto the sheets.

He was dying and Dan was here to take away his life.

Slowly, Phil began to open his eyes. Dan could tell that it took him a moment to focus on him, that he probably just saw a black shadow, but when he made out who it was, Phil smiled, albeit a bit bitterly. “Are you here to kill me?” he rasped out, letting out a sour laugh that made Dan frown sadly.

He didn’t want to kill Phil. He didn’t like seeing him like this. He missed when Phil was so full of life, that first moment that Dan had seen him and had been so enraptured by his beauty that it made him feel human once again. Seeing Phil like this, so close to death, made Dan hurt. He felt as though he could cry, as though he wanted to curl around Phil and shield him away from death.

Shield him away from himself.

And that was the worst feeling of all, knowing that he was the one who would have to bring Phil to his doom. Is this how Gabrielle felt when she had to see Dan to his own death?

“I’m here to offer you eternal life,” Dan told him sincerely, taking a step towards Phil. He had expected Phil to shrink backwards, because everyone was afraid of Death. But alas, he didn’t, just stared up at him, his mouth still in that half smile. Dan wanted him to smile for real, but Phil seemed so sickly that he wasn’t sure he would even be able to do so.

“Eternal life?” Phil mimicked, before coughing some more. This time it seemed worse than the others, staining the white sheets with crimson. Dan took another step forward and brushed the hair out of Phil’s face. Phil’s eyelashes fluttered under his touch, and Dan was amazed by how calm Phil seemed around him. “How is that? Aren’t you the God of Death?”

Dan smiled painfully at him. He was glad that Phil didn’t seem angry at him, didn’t seem scared of him, but he couldn’t help the pool of guilt starting in his stomach that told him you did this, you’re a monster, you ruined this man’s life. “Basically I pissed off the God of Fate by saving your life, so now you don’t have a place in life or death. So Gabrielle, the Goddess in charge of all of us told me that the only way to save you is if you become a god.” Dan paused. The words sounded rather insane when he said them, but he didn’t know a better way to explain it. “That’s how I became the God of Death, because Gabrielle saved my life. So I’m offering you another chance at life.”

Phil closed his eyes, and for a moment, Dan was scared that he was dead. But then he spoke, his voice a mere whisper. “Will I be a Death God too?” A pause. “And what happens if I say no?”

Dan didn’t want to think about the second question just yet, so he only focused on the first. He knelt to the ground beside Phil’s bed and found Phil’s hand under the duvet, holding it tightly in his own. He spoke in a hushed voice, almost like he was telling Phil a bedtime story, one that would follow him to death. “You will take on the role of a God whose soul represents you. That could range from anything from the God of the Sea to the God of Plants. You’re chosen based off of what your soul represents.”

Phil nodded weakly, taking this in. Dan knew what he was thinking: how had Dan’s soul reflected death? And what would Phil’s soul take on? “And my second question.”

“If you do not take on this duty, then your soul will be lost in Purgatory for eternity.”

That fact hurt Dan more than Phil could ever know. He hated how he’d done this, how he’d made Phil give up a life of eternal happiness in the Underworld for his own selfish reasons. He hated how he’s basically forcing Phil to become a god for his own selfish needs, because he hadn’t wanted to let a man he’d just met die from poison. He was the worst Death God the world had ever seen, for sure.

Phil laid back in his bed, turning so that he was staring at the ceiling. He was still holding Dan’s hand, which was a good sign, and his skin was so warm whilst Dan’s was ice cold. It made him feel as though he were on fire, but it was a good feeling, one that lit up Dan’s insides and made him feel something other than harsh emptiness.

“If I decide to do this whole thing,” he gestured to Dan with his free hand, but didn’t turn to look at him, “will I still get to see you?”

The words were so innocent, almost like a child who was fearing that they’d never see their mother again. They made Dan’s face feel hot, just like when he’d first met Phil, and he had to take a deep breath to force himself back to earth. “Of course you’d still get to see me,” Dan told him honestly, because at this point he didn’t think he would be able to stay away even if Gabrielle ordered him to. “You can’t get rid of me that easily. I destroyed your life, after all.”

That made Phil laugh, but it was weak and made him cough some more. He ended his chuckle with an elongated sigh;he looked truly and utterly exhausted. Another flash of guilt went through Dan but he tried to push it away. It wouldn’t be long now before Phil’s soul would leave his body and would join Dan in the fourth dimension.

“Tell me a story,” Phil murmured, and Dan could do nothing else but obey.

He told him a story of an immortal being, one who had no purpose into life other than to witness the death of others. He told him of how that being had grown bored of his undead life and found solace in masquerade balls because they let him hide away from who he was and just enjoy himself for once. However, one night, he saw a man so beautiful that he could have sworn his dead heart had come back to life and made him human again. They danced the night away and the immortal found himself falling for this human, only to find that he was supposed to be bringing death upon him. When the time came, the man found that he couldn’t do it, and ended up saving the man’s life instead, knowing that it would bring displeasure to the other immortals.

It was blindingly obvious that it was the story of how they’d met, of why Dan had saved Phil’s life, but Phil didn’t care. It brought a smile to his face, one that was weak, yet still so beautiful that Dan thanked the other gods for this very moment. Time was running out, and Dan could feel his cloak begin to quiver with the precipice of death.

Then Phil turned and looked at Dan and his eyes sparkled in the moonlight, despite the exhaustion on his face. He was still smiling and Dan didn’t know how he did it when he was dying so soon. “Can you kiss me?” he asked suddenly, and Dan was taken aback.

In his entire life, nobody had ever asked Dan to kiss them. Especially not someone who was more beautiful than Gabrielle herself, with eyes the colour of the grass and seas and skin so pale that it reflected the moonlight. Dan didn’t know what to do at first. He found it a bit ironic at the same time, those rumours coming to mind about how death would come to you if the God of Death gave you a kiss.

He pushed all of those thoughts out of his mind as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. Phil’s lips were cold and Dan could taste the blood on his tongue. But the kiss was soft nonetheless, something meaningful and full of life despite the fact that both beings were anything but. Kissing Phil made Dan feel as though he’d been brought back to life, like his heart was beating and his blood was rushing through his veins. He felt warm all over, everything that death wasn’t supposed to be like.

When he pulled away, Dan kept his eyes closed because he wanted to bask in the feeling of kissing Phil. He didn’t want to open his eyes and come back to reality. He didn’t want to acknowledge the way Phil had gone limp in his arms or how Phil had slowly grown colder.

He didn’t want to see a cold and motionless Phil laying right in front of him, eyes dark and soulless.

“Dan?”

A ray of sunshine poked through the clouds. Dan twirled around, ignoring the empty body in front of him, and instead focusing on the being that was now standing behind him, standing tall and smiling so widely that it seemed as though his face was going to split in half.

If Dan had thought Phil looked alive when he was alive, then he was exuberant in death.

His eyes, those beautiful ocean eyes, sparkled with the light of a thousand suns. If Dan looked close enough, he could see rolling hills of grass in those gorgeous irises. His cheeks were tinted pink, his skin shining like the moonlight. His hair was glossy and seemed to have a life of its own, and he was emanating a certain bright light all around him, one that was a light yellow colour that Dan had never seen before in a God.

Before he could stop himself, Dan was crossing the short distance between them and hugging him close. He littered kisses over his shoulders and his cheeks, and they were laughing, and Phil was crying, and it was nothing like when Dan had accepted his own eternal life. This time, Phil was greeting him with hope and happiness, shining so brightly that Dan nearly had to shield his eyes.

“Thank God, thank God,” Dan whispered over and over, even though he knew that Phil was going to be here even after he’d passed, that he was going to stay with Dan for eternity and longer, until they were just specks of dust in a large, meaningless expanse of nothingness.

Phil was here, and he was never going to leave.

After they parted, Phil kissed Dan once more on the lips, and then took his hand. They were both ignoring the soulless body lying on the bed behind them, not wanting to look back at what Phil’s life used to be, and instead focused on each other.

“So?” Phil asked, cocking his head. He was smiling so widely that his tongue was sticking between his teeth. “What God am I, then?”

Dan didn’t have to even think to know the answer. He’d known it as soon as he’d first laid eyes on Phil, known it as soon as he saw that gorgeous smile and the way he carried himself. He knew it by the yellow glow surrounding him and the ethereal beauty that took Dan’s breath away.

“You’re the God of Life.”

Part Two

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #botanistfics #botanistlester #gettingtogether #phan angst #phan death #phan happy ending #dan and phil #writing #gay #lgbt

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cheezybiouwiou · 3 years

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archived from that secret q account.

ghosty boiyou are my world, and no matter how shitty the world gets i can't imagine one without youJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou are a part of me, and i know whatever happens, you always will beJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii love you, but the more we're apart and the less i see you, the more i remember all the painJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiwhatever you say, what your family does, it affects me, and when im with you it will always be like that. i dont know if i can cope, and im breaking inside because i love you, but i know you've hurt me so much and i dont know what to feelJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boisome part of me wonders if its too late. you broke me. you hurt me so bad, and ive forgiven you so many times for things youve done that you dont even know you haveJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont love me anymoreJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii cant help but feel you dont careJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boingl it kinda hurts me that you care so much about him? i know not in a loving way, but like you caring so much about him makes me feel like you care less about me, idk maybe im just jealous and selfishJuly 14, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii dont want to read anything on this acc bc it will just bring up old pain. nd tbh if anyone found this there would be a lot of painJune 26, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boilmao so i just found out the reason i'm suspended is bc my boyfriend ratted my mum out to his parents and my best friend ratted me out to him mum and the teachers and then my mum went ape shit and then they all pretended they didnt?May 5, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boireally fucking hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiand u have the nerve??? u cant remember me or anythin and uve been in such a bad place what since december?? thats 5 fuckin months man that ive been workin my ass off to support u nd help u get through so u dont fuckin die and this is what i get back? honestly im not mad im just really really hurtApril 15, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiiodk now that u throwing this shit abck at me its like u blamin me? like boy u were so much worse than me already u were one of the ppl who dragged me into a darker place but i stuck w u bc i loved nd cared nd now ur saying it my fault that u cut and that ur more depressed? bitch i try fuckin hard for u man and this is what i get back? u say i dont care that u alwasy comfort me when i work my ass off to get through to u and help u, when u just then reject me anyways - and proceed to say i dont try and that you want the help?? if you want the help then fuckin accept it ive tried so hard for u man?? vbut u dont see it do uApril 15, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou dont actiually want to be with me do you?March 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou make me happy but im sad atm bc i dont wahnt you to dieeeeee nad i just want to be happy and you to be happyMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou make me so happy but i know i dont do that for you. my own insecurities mean that whenever any1 jokes abt anything i take it as real,, im insecure abt everytihng so every joke from everyone hurts me,. i care too much abt what ypu thinkMarch 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii dont know do you want me??March 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boilitearlly no one caresFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boino one wants me haha!February 23, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiha im so unwantedFebruary 23, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim not funn yim not smart im not useful im not talented im notmusical iumd fucjkign rpirdjbialedgesd im not a figood friend im nbot wirty i cant do anyithng im depresy wtihotutht e humoisr im eneddy im annoying i dongt get it im a fuckifng burden wso why are yioui still here whenvrber you see these things inothe rpsoelpe you hate htem gfor it wahyt fucking makles m efidferntFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boioyu literally dislike ebverything abtou me tyour jsut blind i dont get tiFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim evenrwyihtg you hate abtout this worldFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boihs ill never be fuckign fgoos enoughFebruary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiha lmao u didnt see me crying uwuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiu ran awya from meFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment 3 · Like ghosty boihehe im terrified of losing you for a different reason now but ig it doesnt matter bc u dont wannt me anywasyuFebruary 8, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii love you so much i just wnat to help i dont i can tlose youFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boihow can oyu say you dont feel and say you love me? i know you feel, you just try not toFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii dont want you to hurt me but yousoFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiyou lie to me. you dont call it lying but it isFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiwonder what it's like to be okayFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii can't carry this anymoreFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyin and yang, happiness always comes with sadness. if you have one you have to have the other. whats the point in feeling and living at all because even if you achieve happiness you will always have sadness. it is always htereFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boione day of warmth isnt worth a year of coldFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boihappinesss is fleetingFebruary 2, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiwhy am i always the one who hads to repaireFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii wihs oi culd he good enoguhFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiic ared about you but all you do is hurt meFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou just use me i dont understand i thought we were friendsFebruary 1, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boievent eh ppl eho care about me thinj uim worhtless, useless, dumb, stupid, weird, fucking djsfhalkdjfhreesstardsedJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiwhy do you keep reminding me of my insecuriteS? i think everyone does. i shoulf tlak to you about it, but i d onnt want to make you walk on eggshelslsJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment 1 · Like ghosty boiwer both yknow you cousdl do so m uch better htan meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii see it in your eeys, i sese the dissapointment, the 'what the fuck', youer crazy, ur weird, ur rude, ur pathetic, why can yt you be normlak, youe fake, you re not ogod enogumJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiur gonna brkea up with me one dya becaues liets be real inm not oging to do it but you wilwl get sick of me you jsut put up with me atm ur blifnefd by emptions - despite that you can still see im fuvkignJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim just not finny or smart or nice or anyinthig gim jstu not good enoguh nd ikjwo i never will neJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiill never be good enough icoulndt even last a dayJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boilmfao i m actually fucking discusintgnJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii knwo im just annoying, no one realyt wants me aorundJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim getting sicjk of peoplke using meJanuary 29, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii will never be good enough, i will never be good aerat anythingJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim fugcking sfisdudcisigng im such asuhit firend i dont know anyithng i dony care abt eanyone arenough i dont remmebe ran ythonig im never good enouhgJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boidespite how i present muself i dont feelsihlike a girl i jhate hit it hahtkljeshrkljsdfxklsjg bJanuary 28, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou will never be able to see past being sad that im not talking, see that there may be a real reasoon, because you will be too self absorbed to even realise that im not okayJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boithing is though if i dont help you you you will get all sad and upset (despite ignoring me) and wont even give me the chance to give a reason why, beacuse the reason is im struggling atm as well and need support myself but youre too stubborn to get your head out of your ass and realise that i need help toJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou always ignore me its pissing me off you just use me for when you need me and thats itJanuary 27, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii dont think ill ever be good enoughJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boimonths. it took monthsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boior is that just an excuse?January 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiits so goddamn sad how you always pull away, but now isnt the time to mention itJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii feel like you dont actally want me around idk it just hruts when you distance urself rom meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boino one really truyts meJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boino one caresJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boisighsJanuary 24, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiyou try and hel[p fuckignf ocus on yourself i want you to live ghoddamnihntJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiwhats tyhe point in all this imf im judt going to lose you anyayJanuary 21, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii want to be better, and seperately i just want them to be happy nd idc howJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii never actually help lmao they were there for me yesterday when i was falling appart but i cant even help when they are sad or downJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boisighs now im wondering if im not good enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii wish i could be enough, but i know i never will be. i know its not personal and i am not upset as such by it, i can accept it. i just am upset for them because i want to someone, something to be enoughJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii dont even know whats real anymore i cant tell what happened, what i thought happened, what was a dream, what i was hallucinating, what was flashbacks, what i wish had happened i cant even trust myself so how can i trust anyone elseJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim so done. im so tired with trying im so tired with everythingJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim so sadJanuary 16, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii got down bc of ehta they did but that didnt change anythgin they got fuvkin down otooJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boii never helpJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like ghosty boiim nfuckin uselessJanuary 3, 2019 ·Comment · Like

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dayoung-remade · 6 years

Note

tea on all moon signs 👀 ,, and also i !! really !! love !! your !! blog !! my heart flips everytime u post ajhssjsjdj 😤💓💘💞💖❤

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glowstickhaloboy · 7 years

Text

U EVER FUK URSELF UP REAL BAD WRITING LANGST

He thought he heard something else. A voice? Someone calling out to him? It sounded like music. Which way was the right way to go? The voice had stopped talking, so probably back toward the music. That sweet, sweet song that reminded Lance of watching cartoons with his brothers and sisters, having competitions to see who could spoon the most milk into their mouth from their cereal without dripping on the carpet… More than anything, Lance missed life on Earth. He missed his family. He wished he was with them again.

Another voice rang out, but this one was clear as day and directly behind him—but also too good to be true. Lance whirled around, feeling as though he might have been electrocuted.

“There’s my handsome man,” his mother said in Spanish.

Lance’s heart seemed to have frozen in his chest. She looked exactly the same, with her graying hair twisted up in a bun, her hands resting on her hips so that her arms resembled hunting bows. She looked as soft and warm and inviting as ever. Lance couldn’t speak. Tears welled in his eyes.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “I’m here. You don’t have to worry anymore. You don’t have to carry it all alone.”

“What’s going on?” asked Lance. It had been so long since he’d spoken in the language he used every day when he got home from school, the language that connected him to love, made him feel like he was whole. There was no use for it in space.

His mother held out her arms. “I’m here to make it better. I understand, my Lance. You’ve given so much already. Your friends don’t even know, do they? They have no idea how special you are. But I do. My little boy, I could not be more proud of the man you have become. Of who you are.”

Lance wiped away his tears, though it was useless. He hadn’t stopped crying, and the old tears were only replaced by fresh ones.

His mother tutted. “What happened, my Lance? Have you been fighting those schoolyard bullies again?” She reached out like she wanted to touch his face—and she would have, if there hadn’t been such a long gap of space between them. The breeze tickled Lance’s skin where her fingers should have been.

Here was his mother, and he had so much he wanted to say to her, so much he had catalogued away for when he finally returned to Earth. And now, all he could ask was, “Are you really here?”

“Of course I am. You have kept me in your heart, haven’t you?”

Lance nodded, taking a few small steps forward. “Every day, mama. I think about you every day.”

“Will you come home, my boy? Lance? Will you come home to your mother?” She stepped over a patch of white flowers, and with every step closer, Lance’s heart felt another pang of longing. What was wrong? What was wrong about this?

He wasn’t going home.

That was what it was. Lance was very, very far from home and he would never be seeing it again. He didn’t remember how he knew it, didn’t know how he could see his mother’s face in front of him and think that he was anything other than her son first, always. But he wasn’t coming home. And to say that to her would be a lie.

His voice came out broken. “I can’t.”

Her face did not change, except to become more inviting. “Why not, Lance, my beautiful boy? Don’t you know how we miss you? Don’t you know how I mourn my lost little boy every day?”

Lance sank to his knees, crying in earnest. He wanted to go to her, wanted it more badly than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, but the distance… the distance… his body couldn’t cross that bridge. “I know… I know, mama, I’m sorry. I want it to be different, but I have to be a paladin.”

She didn’t look angry, or even stern, which was the worst part. She just looked… heartbroken. “Why, Lance?”

Why?

That one word buzzed inside of Lance’s head, inside his skin, like a thousand angry hornets. Why? He didn’t know. It wasn’t up to him. If it were up to him, he would be back on Earth right now. He would never have taken the Blue Lion, he would have said, Trust me, there’s someone better suited to fly it, you’ll never need me.

“Don’t abandon your family, my Lance. Come home. Come to me. Come home.”

Lance could taste his tears in his throat. He didn’t want any of it anymore. The training, the Lions, the saving the universe. He wanted to be just Lance. Lance with a family, with a normal future.

From the ground, from his knees, he looked up at her. He was finally able to say it out loud. The words felt freeing: “I’m going to die, mama.”

She heard him, and she began sobbing, too.

He got to his feet.

Maybe the distance wasn’t quite so vast. Maybe he could cross it. Maybe he could somehow, someway, make it back to her, even if his legs felt like lead and his head was so weary. Maybe, with all this distance between them, she really was still waiting with open arms, with that stubborn set to her jaw and the firm belief carried in her heart that her son was out there, fighting to get back to her.

The grass whispered underfoot as Lance stepped closer, and closer. He felt a cool breeze on his face, felt her arms wrapped invisibly around him as if he were already in them, already home.

She was so plainly in front of him, so open, so inviting. Her arms, wide with joy at the sight of him, her Lance. He looked down at her, she looked up at him. He remembered the summer he had gotten so much taller than her...

He reached her.

“Mama.”

It was like a collapse, the way he fell into her, but when he should have felt her, when her arms should have wrapped around her son and held him tight to protect him from the world, his entire body hit cold water. He was submerged, he was freezing, it was filling his lungs—

Lance’s head broke the surface of the pond, and everything became clear. The music he had been following was all around him now, loud and sounding like harps and wind chimes. He looked down at himself, his soaked clothes, the water that surrounded him. He was in a clear blue pond, with no one else in sight.

#LANCE MCCLAIN #I FUCKED MYSELF UP AND GOT EMOTIONAL I APOLOGIZE #VOLTRON #V: LD #LANGST #JEREMY IF YOURE READING THIS THANKS FOR GIVING ME A SON #ANYWAY I GOTTA GO FINISH THIS 40K FIC NOW I GUESS

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steven0319 · 5 years

Photo

After receiving mix reviews in term of difficulty to hike Mount Kinabalu and my personal experience, I can now conclude that MK by far is the hardest Mountain I ever hike. Here are some tips for those who’ve been asking me about the trip: 1. Prep urself physically (normal cardio training won’t help, try hiking with 10kg bag) 2. Prep urself mentally 3. Proper equipment is essential 4. Medication and energy/ sodium supplement is essential too 5. Check the weather & temperature for the hike to prep what u will be needing 6. Don’t bring useless stuff like camera, u can use ur phone to take picture (jk, but do consider the extra weight u nid to carry up the mountain - camera and tripod) 7. Try Mount Tahan before u try this

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filmery · 7 years

Text

Stream of Consciousness

from Iron Man

****WATCH OUT FOR LOTS OF GRAMMATICAL ERRORS****

fav marvel opener- flipping comic book pages -never read any whoops

no one is wearing black- back in black

sexist- driver woman

rdj is =iron man

peace sign kid holds- he dies so thats why tony does peace sign

"older guy cant work camera" clishe

uggggh shaky camera

why was he with the troops/ not in helicopter?

zoom into bomb fast- GREAT fast comedic moment just before sadness

he shud not have been conscious after explosion that close

WTF IS THAT UNDER HIS SHIRT WTF- IFITS ARMOR IT SHULD PROTECT HIM

al quaeda to soon

so hes steve jobs- made a frikin computer in his garage

ewww rbj with no beard- bad cgi :( cant u just shave and get over urself?

yes weapons are the key to peace hahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhahaha

rip terrence howard as rhody

"too cool for award" cliche

"bald guy is bad" cliche

"hes always working" uhhh besides a few montages.... no he really just parties

only talks to cute girls....... uggggh

military funding? ha more like military debt ahahahahah 20 trillion is iron mans fault

jarvis is wing man after one night stand???? idve thought hed think tony was cheating lol

"girl wakes up with just guys shirt" cliche

"guy wakes up and leaves before girl wakes up" cliche

cat fight ha+2 points

literal and figurative island haha

so tony aint smart, he just uses jarvis

he obvi doesnt know how t4he faa works

i was gonna get REAL mad if tony didnt buy a painting cuz it was "too expensive" but we good

tonys a dick

yet pepper finds him attractive

ksorry

yaaaas rhody calling him a baby cuz he FING IS

im pretty sure laser shows in airplanes are illegal

"im not drinking them gets drunk" cliche

in my opinion from what ive collected, you cant be feared AND respected. fear takes over and you do things based on fear, not fromrespect - also how will blowing up people help them respect you? unless youre talking about getting respect from those u protect and those u kill cuz thats completely differeent then

"i respectfully disagree" or do you "fearfully disagree"

starts out as all techno talk, then turns into baby talk wtf

that shock wave conviently stopped right after it hit them

montage of painful surgeyr cliche

ewww that pipe in his nose as groooooooss

"dont do that but dontexplain" cliche

the dude cant understand english how did he know that tony refused????

why tf wouldnt u test it ANYWHERE BUT THE MIDDLE EAST?????

why cant they just wait and order the missile

k so this scene is srs and all but WATCHING HIM CARRYING THE CAR BATTERY IS SOOOO FuNNY I CANT

"no he wont" OK NOW U CANT UNDERSTAND U POS

"theyll never find u" cliche

why is his friend here?

how does he know how to build it? tbh he probs just had jarvis do it back home

how does the gov not know hes selling weapons to terrorists? we cant be that corrupt can we?

so hes building his ring thing but they DONT FING NOTICE THATS THERES NO MISSILES AT AlL??????

and they didnt question them the entire time

lemme peek but not go in and investigate

"i have steady hands" and then he crashes his car and LOOK! Doctro strange!

when a speech starts with a history lesson, u know its been rehearsed u poser

honestly... hot coal in mouth- worst way to die fml

props to marvel for not telling how fast theyre moving so i cant bust them for not being able to get it done

why the circle around the chest thing

wouldt one of their rules to be able to see u at all times

ctrl i is italicize hahahaha

why did the lights shut off but no the clearly hookedup laptop?

i enjoy the rock music as background music- not ur stereotypical ( yet awesome) hans zimmer score

yaaaaaas bitches run

gun shootsthen rebounds onto him- pretty sure thats not how physics work

if anyone should die, its tony tbh that whiny bithc

-2 for killing an actual good guy

how does not one of those bullets penetrate his suit?

----not enough use of the word penetreate

k no theyd keep shooting

tony: everythings on fire and im dying

ouchie that giant fall

how does he know hose helis are good?

DONT TOUCH HIS SUNBURNT AND BLISTERING SHOULDERS RHODY EWWWW

+2 for cheeseburger yas

-2 for burger king ew

doesnt sheild deal with aliens not terrorists?

newsreels? hes not THAT old

+10000 for ACCOUNTABILITY AND RESPONSIBILTY WOOOOO

k hes obvi doing the best thing here and now everyone gets pissed for him TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLES LIVES EHY IS THAT BAD?????? HE ALREADY HAS a shit otn of money LET HIM BE

fuck u and ur segway obidiah

the other thing..... dont put ur name on it

jokes on u! it was alqueade

+100 for mad money reference!!!!!

...so pepper didnt know about it so whyd he blame her for .3 seconds?

pepper is useless omg PUT YOUR HANDS IN HIS CHEST

why did he say dont take out the magnet but all of a sudden u dont need it?

i wonder if they actually built robots for tonys btterfingers

rhodeys we need pilots speech was just proven again by the aircraft landing in the hudson

so non military= humanitarian now? and if so why that bad?

honestly surprised that jarvis isnt some hot lady voice

k raza with sunglasses= morpheus

why is the mask the most vital part for raza?

tony crashing into wall is why u should ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET KIDS

obadiah is NOT playing the piano

+2 for not trusting obidiah

daaaamn if thats 1% whats 100% capacity

and he still doesnt wear a helmet

k his eye holes are so small how can he actually see?

run before walking leads to lots of problems later in life tony

at leaast he checked atc

goddammkit u made smol child drop ice cream

beginners luck

rip that baby grand he probs didnt know how to play

+2 for that fire extinguisher

+50 for Pepper being a cutie with that gift

how does tony not have his liscence revoked? hes a shit driver and can hire a chaffeur

STAN LEE BABE

RIP COLESON OMG :'(

so just fire pepper and marry her

pepper is totally right and tony should seperate who actually matter to him

how is a lot of olives 3?

im not my company- THEN TAKE UR NAME OFF HOE

no, modern day hell s walking those 15 miles and watching a car and heli and camera lady who are fine and can get there in 20 minutes

i sincerely hope that these footages were planned and not real

is this the news or a documentary?

just realized he never gave pepper her drink lol

yeah, let the kids watch their dad get shot thats fine omg

after that hit, he looks like a lion

why did he say colonel rhodes form weapons development? that name isnt that common

there was 0 time for radio contact omg

the only thing i could think during this scene was SERPENTINE SERPENTINE SERPENTINE

k now im getting a lil tired of the electric guitar

finally obi has been outted geez

im feeling some west side story WITH snaps

why is raza telling obi what he ALREADY KNOWS CUZ THEYVE BEEN IN CONTACT

how has no one noticed that obi just GOES TO THE MIDDLE EAST LIKE ALL THE TIME

this scene between pepper and tony is THE MOTHER of cliched lines

WHY DIDNT SHE SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER STUPID WEIRDO

he tried to push his hair back hahahaHAHAHAHAHhaha

not scraps obi.... he had his own stuff

im just imagining obi hidig under toys couch haha

that dick took his shirt!!!

yaas beethoven reference

props to makeup people for his paralysis on point!

sorry but paralysis seems to me like U CANT FING MOVE TONY

i thought the old reactor needed a magnet

OF ALL THE CARS TO STEAL RHODY YOU STEAL THE AUDI

goddman all these chains

JUMP SCARE COMING HAHA I KNEW IT

-2 awful jump scare

yes middle age mom- honk at the GIANT FING ROBOT

nooo not the hydrogen powered bus!

gooood iron freezes before stainless tell

daaamn obi is a real bad shot

and radiation now floods the malibu land area and thosands are illed thanks to tonys reactor

sk glad hes corrected the mediait aint iron

coleson never briefed tham

that was longer than 90 seconds

iron man- STOP TRYING TO BE BATMAN

great ending 10/10

affter credit scene: 10/10 avengers yay

#film critic #tony stark #iron man #filmery #stream of consciousness

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trouvvaille · 7 years

Text

[[I want this here for reasons... i love this so much, and it needs to go on this blog]]

vvicissitudo hey meen hey did u see im on for nearly fivve days noww

brackishbarracuda im proud tbh

vvicissitudo yeah? i feel accomplished

brackishbarracuda how long have I wanted u to interact w ppl istf

vvicissitudo i mean i wwouldn't call this accomplished but i feel that wway

brackishbarracuda I do shut up

brackishbarracuda don't actually shut up

vvicissitudo ahaha i lovve you i aint really TALKIN to people offerin idle comments maybe

brackishbarracuda it's a start

vvicissitudo yeah yeah it is am i uh doin good

brackishbarracuda you could stand to loosen up a bit

vvicissitudo yeah true but u kno me prickly af they gotta get thru the hard shell first

brackishbarracuda it helps when you give em half a chance

brackishbarracuda they aint gotta b best buds right off the bat u can b a casual friend

vvicissitudo u really think im bein TOO prickly

brackishbarracuda i just want u to have a chance to get out more clams

vvicissitudo i like wwhere im at

vvicissitudo besides most a these guys they aint gonna be here in six perigees

brackishbarracuda casual friendship enjoy em while it lasts get a decent conversation an if they dont come back oh well

vvicissitudo i guess so hmm but half a them aint replied to me or commented on my followw

brackishbarracuda so let it go and start another one later ppl got lives

brackishbarracuda whats up w u tho

vvicissitudo listenin to music up top lookin at the wavves s gonna rain not storm i think just rain

brackishbarracuda u wanna go for a swim when it starts

vvicissitudo shore its alwwavves nice

brackishbarracuda what uh

brackishbarracuda I mean we ain't talked reely much

vvicissitudo do wwe gotta?

brackishbarracuda and I got quads commin outta my ears

vvicissitudo ahaha that u do wwhat wwould wwe talk aboat me still feelin shitty ovver the other night? cause thats a thing

brackishbarracuda we aint gotta

vvicissitudo there aint much i feel that needs t be talked aboat

besides the wwhole thing ww... that.

i feel guilty

is it my fault?? wwhat can i do for that

but uh

other than that, nah. storms an rain an wwavves are good

talkin about that spill earlier tho got me itchy ZZ3B\

brackishbarracuda ive been takin deep breaths and movin em

vvicissitudo yeah

does that help

brackishbarracuda no

vvicissitudo tried pourin spring wwater dowwn my neck

felt nice but ddn't wwork

brackishbarracuda I just been tryin naut to think aboat it sometimes they ain't wanna open and I half panic for a second also it ain't ur fault also what do you think about the bouys 38/

vvicissitudo thats terrifyin to think aboat

noww i gotta open mine up an check em

ugh

wwhat you really think so?

an uh, wwhich bouys

brackishbarracuda yeah u didnt force her hand she fucked up an she shoulda been straight w him and i tried to fuckin tell her that but no an the clowns

vvicissitudo They're good. I aint too much talkin to em yet Tho uh.

Wwhich clowwns

brackishbarracuda clams the two im datin zee and arlequin

vvicissitudo I kno that... Just wwondered

Theres a lotta clowwns U kno i nevver paid much attention to em

brackishbarracuda would u

vvicissitudo Pay attention? Noww, yeah, I'm startin to

brackishbarracuda theyre good people

brackishbarracuda an i want u to be a part a all a my life vvicissitudo

i wwant to be part of it all a it i didn't followw any clowwns before an noww that i do

its hard

vvicissitudo i keep seein the text, the wways they talk an i see you happy an i feel bitter aboat me because you're my happiness u got a full house im glad for u

brackishbarracuda nearly anyway

vvicissitudo i just hate myshellf rn its nothin that

vvicissitudo its nothin to wworry aboat itll pass

brackishbarracuda i alwaves worry aboat you

vvicissitudo i hate wwhat loz did meen i hate it i think i'd rather havve just had one heartbreak to deal wwith i didn't evven get any closure i got to kiss him once i got to hold him as he fuckin died along wwith you an wwhere does that leavve me

vvicissitudo in limbo wwaitin wwonderin wwheres my makara wwheres my red wwheres the one wwhose gonna fill that hole an then i see ur makaras an i feel terrible cause i don't

vvicissitudo want to get to knoww them because i knoww ill just get hurt an i knoww they aint mine evven if i wwant them to be part of this family an its part a wwhat i posted aint no one talked to me last night i mentioned arlequin once in his owwn post

vvicissitudo that other captor nevver replied to me evven after i said somethin that other ampora, the wwhiny one he liked posts datin back a wwhole swweep an pike a hundred posts besides im trying, i swwear for you but i dont my heart aint in it i dont i don't knoww wwhat to do here anymoray

brackishbarracuda you keep tryin

vvicissitudo been almost a wweek a godamn record that ivve been on doin social things

brackishbarracuda an im proud a u for it

vvicissitudo i got you thats al i got its all i wwant

brackishbarracuda an im tryin my damdest to help u change it

vvicissitudo i aint wwant to be hurt no more meen

vvicissitudo prince or princess charmin is comin to me this tide i wwanna knoww ur makaras but not ovver social media i wwanna knoww em wwhen they're ovver for tea or sleepovvers or meetin the kids or meetin me

vvicissitudo it feels useless. *i* feel useless

brackishbarracuda you dont want to know where id b without you

vvicissitudo youd be sadder

vvicissitudo probubbly givven up by now

brackishbarracuda id be dead

vvicissitudo wwhat about ur cro

brackishbarracuda what the fuck about him

vvicissitudo wwould he havve found you or wwould you havve been dead beshore then

brackishbarracuda long fuckin before then

vvicissitudo wwhat wwould havve happened i can see u runnin urself into the ground

brackishbarracuda runnin myself into the ground bitin off more than i can chew gettin pissed and sad and naut havin a good enough reason to naut do stupid shit

brackishbarracuda every single tide you patched me up every single tide youve found me when i was low every tide you talked me outta somefin or made sure i was safe i mean fuck clams you saw what i looked like w/o u for a fuckin perigee

brackishbarracuda efin if id never met you you know how closed off i was how angry id have gotten into a fight i couldnt handle burned myself from the inside out

brackishbarracuda itd a been the oil clams

brackishbarracuda efin if naut literally cept thered b nobody to clean me up to carry me home to show me what the fuck home /was/

brackishbarracuda i wouldnt a had the kids oar you oar vis

brackishbarracuda you are fuckin necessary

vvicissitudo u wwouldn't havve evven had loz wwould u i i just realized that it wwas cause a me you met

vvicissitudo wwasn't it the first big thing wwas wwhen tavv tried to "help" me

brackishbarracuda i woulda had rez and fangs and they woulda left me and thats it

vvicissitudo yeah. wwhat about noww

brackishbarracuda i aint efin shore i woulda had sally

vvicissitudo pike are you happy noww

brackishbarracuda all i know is i aint happy w/o u

vvicissitudo awwww

brackishbarracuda youve literally saved my life so many dam tides mine and sallys and the wrigs does that sound useless to you

vvicissitudo you an the wwrigs are the only ones wwho seem to appreciate me yes, you're the only ones wwho count really an truly u remember wwhen u took me to that play

brackishbarracuda yeah

vvicissitudo an they stood in a roww an thanked us personally for comin i wwant that i wwant it all the tide i wwant people appreciatin me i tell people im wworkin on somethin to make helmsmens livves after the helm better i get "its impossible"

brackishbarracuda that aint a good example clams u kno how hard it is to accept good shit when it aint in your hand

vvicissitudo i tell people im a docterror an a chemical engineer an i get "so wwhat else do you do" i tell people im a reader a wwriter

vvicissitudo a pacifist an i get blank stares an topic changes i get fivve note threads on this hellsite an then nothin thats howw it alwavves goes

brackishbarracuda did u think for a minute that maybe ur just ten levels above everybody else an they aint kno how to talk aboat that shit

vvicissitudo i mention my name an people are pike "who" an i gotta say "eridan" before they realize an then they assume wwrongly a me i aint wwanna be smart if it means no one wwants to talk to me

brackishbarracuda ur doin good shit clams bc ur smart

brackishbarracuda bc a whats happened to u and who you are

vvicissitudo am i a good person

brackishbarracuda betta than me by a long shot

vvicissitudo wwhy i dont wwant to be better than u i wwant to be ur equal

brackishbarracuda then get me to where u are and dont u dare lower urself for anybody

vvicissitudo > You're stunned into silence for a bit.

brackishbarracuda i aint the best person in the world i aint that smart

brackishbarracuda im shit at p much anyfin that aint kissin somebody oar fightin em you aint

vvicissitudo or makin someone feel good aboat themselvves u do a damn good job of that

brackishbarracuda shut up for a second that aint the point

vvicissitudo im cryin AND laughin ill havve u knoww

brackishbarracuda good 3B* point is you deserve a crown more than i ever have

vvicissitudo wwhhat

brackishbarracuda you can patch ppl up and help people w real cod dam problems w real applications you kno history and all that shit you read you write you study ur in ur lab u work hard too hard but u aint a useless bump a log

vvicissitudo but you aint wwanna rule

brackishbarracuda do i look like i could manage anyfin close to rullin rn by myself

vvicissitudo that aint the point u don't WWANNA rule

vvicissitudo period do you??

brackishbarracuda why do you think i asked dirk to let me do political shit

vvicissitudo but wwas that because u foresaww this convversation or because you wwant to

brackishbarracuda its pike i told him im tired a runnin

vvicissitudo yeah?

brackishbarracuda yeah

brackishbarracuda idk wtf good is gonna come outta it but

vvicissitudo i can name good

vvicissitudo u bein by my side me being by ur side are you sure u wwanna do this last chance to back out u knoww

brackishbarracuda i aint got nofin to rule clams its kinda far from a last chance but yeah

vvicissitudo alright then

vvicissitudo so uh wwhat rule wwhat the wwhole planet?? this uh provvince, this continent, this bit of planet wwe call home i mean theres things wwe gotta think of

brackishbarracuda hb we just start w the bit were on yeah

vvicissitudo so wwe need to get scoutin parties together to see HOWW big it is an if anyone else livves on it an if anyone else livves on it then we gotta dispute

vvicissitudo buy their land rom em in exchange for goods or services a emperor aint bein servved hes servvin others pike wwe provvide food or electricity an they trade us

brackishbarracuda clams calm down

vvicissitudo ideally rn wwe feed their family/take care a their land in exchange for their servvices in helpin us scout out- wwhat oh

brackishbarracuda do u kno how many tides i had to retype clams calm bc lemme tell u

vvicissitudo uh oops

brackishbarracuda too much at once aight lets just

brackishbarracuda keep our shit to ourselves baby steps yeah

vvicissitudo babysteps yeah ideally this thing wwe livve on is only an island otherwwise wwe got barriers to wworry about pike cae said

brackishbarracuda either plan on defendin what u got or be ready to run right i aint runnin

vvicissitudo i lovve u <>

vvicissitudo u an ur beautiful soul

brackishbarracuda i love you too

brackishbarracuda <> <><><><><><><><><><><> aight im done im good thats outta my system

vvicissitudo thank you for listenin

brackishbarracuda you aint quaded to me for my looks 3B*

vvicissitudo damn right im quadded to u because of u

#clams diamond meen #chatlogs #long post

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