#original: john mulaney

[callsign-daydream]

Maverick: I don’t know why Cyclone has an assistant. He does not need one. Unless he needs someone to be like, "Remember, Admiral Simpson, at five o’clock, you need to keep looking like a hard-boiled egg."

#top gun maverick #top gun incorrect quotes #original: john mulaney #pete maverick mitchell #beau cyclone simpson #pov: cyclone walks in as he's saying this looking like a hard boiled egg

[forumjutsu]

Kakashi: Training was scheduled for 7:00 p.m. So I went to get a haircut… at 7:00 p.m.

Kakashi: And I truly believed I could make both work

#naruto incorrect quotes #incorrect naruto quotes #team 7 #kakashi sensei #kakashi hatake #team kakashi #hatake kakashi #original: john mulaney

[incorrectnancydrewquotes]

I think I was supposed to be gay. I think in Heaven they built, like, three quarters of a gay person and then they forgot to flip the final switch, and they just sent me out and an angel was like, “You marked that one gay, right?” and another was like, “Oh no! Was I supposed to?” and they were like, “Oh man, well this’ll be a very interesting person.”

-Richard Topham, Secret of the Old Clock

#clk #Secret of the Old Clock #richard topham #original: john mulaney

[saltandskeletrons]

Hamilton was one of the first pop culture medias I was really into with a cheating plot line and I was like damn. Can’t believe this guy threw away his successful career he dedicated his whole life to and incredible wife and family for one hook up. I should not have been surprised Apparently this is very common and easy for men.

#try guys #john mulaney #like it seems so easy to me to just not do that #not to out my self as an original Hamilton fan but where else am I gonna express this thought #like I have learned over and over to not get too attached to a para social relationship #but #I’ve been watching the try guys since they started so this is upsetting and hard to grasp #idk lol

[sailor-moon-moon]

The nature of humanity is that every few years someone reinvents the mothership of ships and my pattern recognition skills are left to deal with the consequences.

#*john mulaney voice* this is a niche connection between two pieces of entirely Seperate media that nobody asked for! could be a Venn diagram #me when I have a completely galaxy brained take: if only I had a way to express this concisely and with circles #idk why I can only express my thoughts in Venn diagram form but. #hope this makes sense #Star Trek #the untamed #mo dao zu shi #spirk #tos #aos #mdzs #cql #chen qing ling #wangxian #spock #jim kirk #kelvin timeline #alternate original series #the original series #mxtx #lan wangji #Wei wuxian #gonna stop tagging now but if you opened the tags this far drink some water #venn diagram

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

*Look at that one ghost pregnancy carving meme*

Sure, they're normal pregnancy carving... And then they're weird ones. Like, yes, he can't eat a batarang, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to.

Have a little crack I guess! Also bonus point if it's angst for the others batfam members

Angst, you say?

Jason came out of a daze to the sound of broken glass.

Why was he in Tim’s room? He remembers getting up to look in the kitchen. Nothing was appealing at the moment but he was hungry and Dr. Leslie mentioned he was a little below weight.

He was looking and nothing was appealing but then he felt a pull and-

“Jason, what the fuck.”

Tim looked disheveled, clearly back from his patrol.

Why was he freaking out? Sure, Tim finding him here was strange but-

Jason was suddenly aware of something papery in his mouth.

“Wha-?”

“Jason why?”

Tim looked like he had shot him, and as Jason looked around him he realized that he may as well.

Around him laid a shredded old box.

Tim’s old photo box.

He remembers when he was first reached out to his family again after the mess of reintroduction.

The olive branch Tim held out to him. The night they sat in the lounge as Tim shyly showed him the years of photos. They were up until dawn reminiscing. It was the first time he started to think of the two of them as brothers.

They weren’t all ruined but quite a few had obvious teeth marks and tears.

Shit.

“I-I don’t- fuck! Baby bird I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember..”

Jason raised a frustrated palm to his eyes at tears started to pool.

Fuck, Tim was shutting down.

“It’s- it’s fine, I was in the middle of digitizing the photos anyways. Never know what will happen, you know?”

Jason removed the photo from his mouth and tried to flatten it out what was left. It was one of the one’d around his debut as Robin, sitting on a gargoyle under a moonlit sky.

Jason gently got off his knees with a wobble before he gently took his brother into his arms.

“I-I already got most of them taken care of.. It’s fine.. you didn’t- the baby been doing a lot of strange things to you. You nearly bit a batarang last week- it’s not- something like this was bound to happen and-“

Tim made a keening he folded himself into Jason’s side.

Looking around at the carnage as Jason tried his best to comfort his brother as he wailed.

“This shouldn’t’ve happened. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

He muttered as he rubbed up and down Tim’s back.

“Okay… Okay.. How about we go downstairs huh? We can go downstairs, and I’ll make us some hot chocolate ‘n’ we can put on one of those shitty b-rated horror movies we love to roast.”

Avoiding what Jason could only assume was a cup of coffee on the floor, he closed the door and gently guided his little brother down the hall.

Tags for hoodlums:

@numbuh-7-knd @phoenixdemonqueen @thegatorsgoose @storm-and-fire @elvesandlanterns @moedango @skulld3mort-1fan @apointlessbox @samgirl98 @thedragonqueen1998 @booberrylizard @idek618 @littlefeather345 @iosonotoro @dxrksong @moonfirearc @terzatheunderscorerima @moedango

#Jason after he gets Dick to clean up the mess in Tim’s room has a mental freak out once Tim is settled to sleep #he feels so guilty #he ends up badgering clockwork to help him get copies of all the originals #dp x dc #writing prompt #dc x dp #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #mother hood au #you asked for angst #if you hadn’t I would’ve shit posted #me: hmm what would be heart wrenching and hard to replace? #originally I was going to have Jason eat Damian’s art supplies #but then a old john mulaney quote came to me #it’s the one thing you can’t replace #my asks #mpreg

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Matt(about their dog):...Oh, what if we got like, a Biblical painting done with Petunia in it? Foggy: Oh, that would be so cute. We should do like "The Last Supper." Matt: Oh my God, that would be SO cute! We should do all different French bulldogs as the different apostles... Foggy: Oh, and we should have Petunia in the middle where Jesus is, in front of the turkey...! Matt:.....Wait, what did you just say?...Did you say "the turkey"? Foggy: Yeah, why? Matt: Would you just answer me one question...do you think that in Da Vinci's "The Last Supper", that Jesus, of Nazareth, is sitting in front of a TURKEY? Foggy:...Yes, I do. Matt: Thank you for your honesty. Just one more follow-up question - so then, what do you think they're celebrating? Foggy: OK, I get it. I don't get this shit cuz I wasn't raised Catholic, and I'm fucking glad I wasn't cuz it's a fucked - up organization - Matt: - Oh no, no, no...we ALL know that!...But what do you think those guys are celebrating? Foggy(looks at the floor, then looks at Matt):...Thanksgiving.

#incorrect quotes #daredevil #netflix daredevil #daredevil born again #matt x foggy #original: john mulaney (Kid Gorgeous special) #matt murdock #mtthew murdock #foggy nelson #marvel #mcu

[glimeres]

Stop. Have you watched Original Cast Album: Co-Op?

Will you watch Original Cast Album: Co-Op?

When will you watch Original Cast Album: Co-Op? Here, watch Original Cast Album: Co-Op. ( 1 , 2 )

#original cast album: co-op #john mulaney #taran killam #james urbaniak #renee elise goldsberry #alex brightman #richard kind #paula pell #documentary now! #off-topic: tv #video #posted

[hime-dais]

Hot take: Dream is a gay queen

#this is the show right? #I haven’t seen it yet I’ve just seen gifs and decided to make a funny joke #original gif from maikhiwi00 #dream of the endless #death the endless #the sandman #the sandman netflix #the sandman neil gaiman #john mulaney

[incorrectgmw]

Maya: You are 17 going on 18.

Lucas: Actually, I'm 33.

Riley: Wait, WHAT?!

#lucaya #rucas #rucaya #lucas friar #maya hart #riley matthews #riley x lucas #lucas x maya #maya x lucas #lucas x riley #gmw #girl meets world #incorrect quotes #saturday night live #john mulaney #chat #original #r: lucasmaya #r: lucasriley #r: other

[callsign-daydream]

Bob: Phoenix is cold-blooded. She once shushed a kid during Lion King on Broadway. That actually happened. We were at Lion King on Broadway, and there was a five-year-old behind us going, ‘Look, it’s Pumbaa! Look, it’s Timon!’ And Fee turned around and said, 'Are you going to talk the entire time?’ She’s my hero.

#top gun maverick #top gun incorrect quotes #original: john mulaney #robert bob floyd #natasha phoenix trace #fee says what we all want to say #i want her to simultaneously be my best friend and also slap the stupid out of me

[sondheims-hat]

Sondheim, 1970 / John Mulaney, 2019

#sondheim #john mulaney #original cast album company #documentary now!

[orion-kenobi]

obi-wan’s entire vibe is ‘you know those days when you’re like this might as well happen?’ and i had to draw this dumb thing sorry

#sorry this is stupid #obi wan kenobi #star wars #star wars incorrect quotes #the original is from a john mulaney bit #i don’t remember which one. sorry

[adventures-in-teyvat]

genshin impact as john mulaney quotes

razor:

barbara:

itto:

sucrose:

klee:

diluc:

bennett:

ei:

jean:

kokomi:

#genshin memes #genshin impact memes #genshin impact #incorrect genshin #john mulaney #blessings from the anemo archon barsibitos #muji’s originals #muji’s favorites

[linkedsoul]

Today is a good day to remind people that "unrequited love will kill me so love me else I'll die" is only one take among many others on the Hanahaki trope and not what it inherently is

#linked rambling #hanahaki disease #hanahaki is this john mulaney meme of 'i'll keep all my feelings there and then one day i'll die' #the flowers are the visual rep of painful feelings that choke you up #this is also not an au necessarily meant for a happy ending #the ill person doesn't always have to be saved #stop saying that the 'love me or I'll die' is the original/traditional #and that you're improving it by suggering another take on it THAT ALREADY EXISTS #the chronic hanahaki post is making rounds again with more people doubling down that the og hanahaki is bad #when it's just one take on the hanahaki trope not necessarily THE actual trope #grrrr #it's originally a Japanese trope and i don't think it's free of the cultural influence #a cultural influence which never appears in those 'here is what the og trope is' how curious #like maybe i'm wrong about the cultural influence! but i find it odd that all these 'og hanahaki is bad' takes don't even consider it #so. you know. just remember there are many takes on this trope #and that what you think is the original might not be

[bread--quest]

the shelled one: I AM A GOD

schneider bendie, squinting suspiciously at the sky: i don't remember that from the torah

#to be read to the tune of 'i don't remember that from hamilton!' from the one john mulaney sketch #ive given up on making posts that 'make sense' or 'have a point' or 'cater to an audience besides me' #wow look something original!! #fan: gnym!! #blb: schneider bendie #im not maintagging this it doesnt deserve that #*bendie desperately searching their vague memories from their bnai mitzvah* i guess it never said god WASNT a peanut????