Imagine the red hair pirates reminiscing about your childhoods
You: Wait so if your family lived in a one-room house
Howling Gab: Calling it a house is generous, but yes
You: And you have two younger siblings who are 10 and 14 years younger than you, the that means....
Benn: That means you've seen your parents doing the deed.
Shanks: Making the beast with two backs
Yassop: Boinking
Lucky Roux: Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch
You: Putting the bun in the oven
Hongou: Literally present for the conception of your siblings
Howling Gab: *rolls his eyes* Yes, I saw my parents fucking, and no it's not weird. What's weird is you haven't seen your parents fucking.
Shanks: *slaps his knee and laughs* Maybe so, but I'm all the happier for it.
You: Yeah, I'm glad I can't say I know what my dad's balls look like.
Benn: I wish I could.
The crew: *concerned silence*
Benn: *reads the room* OH! No, no, no, not like that. It wasn't anything bad.
You: Then what was it?
Lime Juice: Do ya wanna talk about it, buddy?
Benn: I told you it wasn't like that! I wasn't diddled as a child... He was taking us swimming, and I was clinging to his leg because I thought it'd make him hurry. When I made the mistake of looking up while he was wearing swim trunks. And BOOM, I got a front row seat looking directly at his taint and ball sack.
You: *covers your mouth to contain your laughter* oh gods.
Benn: they were pale and veiny. And they hung so low *shudders* I don't wanna even think about it.
Hongo: You are all so dramatic, like your balls aren't as perky as they were twenty years ago.
Benn: They've definitely migrated a ways south. And my dick kind of just always leaking.
Shanks: Yeah what's up with that? Nobody told me about this, and the fake I'd piss myself so much. That's something I miss about my childhood, my undies were always dry.
You: I miss that my back didn't hurt
Yassop: or my fucking knees, the damn things click so often you could mistake me for a reindeer. (their tendons click)
Lucky Roux: Yes! It's the fucking worst.
Author's note: the swimming pool incident is based on a true story. And unfortunately it's a memory that won't fade no matter how much I wish it would.🙃
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New comic I was working on. Basically for the Kevin Joins AU (which I really need a proper name for, might use the title of the prequel fic I’m writing currently but we’ll see) Kevin and Ben will sometimes do “Tag In’s” where after figuring out that Kevin can absorb alien powers, Kevin would sometimes either high five Ben’s alien form or just randomly shout “Tag In!” And just smack the alien’s back and absorb the energy.
Then there’s the times Ben wouldn’t get the right alien and Kevin just can’t help but find Ben’s disappointment hilarious. Especially when it’s Grey Matter. Kevin never “Tags In” with Grey Matter.
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Imagine teaching the Benn and Shanks some of your "tricks"
You and Shanks: *making out on a couch.*
Shanks: *grabs the ends of your hair and pulls*
You: *pulls away from his mouth* Please tell me that is not how you pull hair!
Shanks: *lets go* yeah it is why?
You: you're doing it wrong
Shanks: how am I doing it wrong!
You: *pins his only arm to the back of the couch, and uses your free hand to locks your fingers through his hair close to his scalp and pulls his head back* this is is how you pull hair, darling. *Presses another opened mouth kiss on him*
Shanks: *moans and feels like he's spinning*
Benn: *watching from a nearby table as he drinks * Didn't know you could moan like a wanton whore, boss. And all it took to make you submit, was a pretty little thing to pin your arm down, and pull your hair a little.
Shanks: Well it's a lot easier to pin me down with two hands, I only have one hand after all. It's not like I can win against two.
You: *whispers to Him* want me to show you how to pin both hands down with only one hand?
Shanks: I don't believe you.
Benn: what are you whispering about?
You: *grins and gets up* Benn, may I use you for a demonstration?
Benn: *squints at you suspiciously* sure
You: You'll need you turn your chair, so Shanks can see properly, and then I need you to do this. *Locks your fingers together and lifts the fingers of one hand*
Benn: *huffs and turns, so his back is to the table and does the hand gesture*
You: * locks your fingers with the ones he has lifted, slams your foot on the edge of his seat and tilts him back, so you can pin his hands above his head against the table behind him.*
Benn: *yelps as panic shoots up his spine* What are you doing?
You: and that darling, is how you pin both hands with only one. You just have to work smarter, not harder.
Benn: *starts to squirm when the panic he felt melts into tingling arousal and heat that leaves him shaking* You fucking-
You: *interrupts him* this position leaves me with plenty of options of where to go from here. * combs your free hand through his hair, and loops it around his neck down to his chest, grazing a thumb across his nipple, before wrapping your hand around this throat as you lean down and starts to make out with him.*
Benn: *pants as he eagerly kisses you back*
Shanks: *moves behind you, and starts to grope your chest, and kiss your neck* I think I might need to practice.
You: I'd be happy to volunteer *lets Benn go, making his chair fall forward, making his face go directly into your chest*
Benn: am I a joke to you?
Shanks: *smirks his friend over your shoulder, and pushes your tits up into Benn's face * Maybe, but perhaps you can help me practice as well as keep her busy.
Benn: *grins up at his friend and nuzzles his face into your chest* I think I can manage that.
Yassop: *sitting across the table and has silently been watching the whole time* What about me?
Shanks and Benn: suffer *pulls you to Shanks's room*
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