Tumgik
#orignal writing
akindplace · 2 years
Text
Sometimes you have to surround yourself with absolutely positive things: cute plushies, motivational quotes, relaxing music, comfortable blankets, a funny show, talk to people to have a laugh, nice food, see some memes, so we can remember to feel grateful, so we can remember that there are still good things out there and that life is indeed worth living and fighting for, so you can have all these precious little moments and things even when they seem fleeting. Remember to enjoy something today just for the sake of being a little happier for a moment. It might restore your faith in the world a little and nurture your strength. Allow yourself to recharge.
4K notes · View notes
haikkun · 5 months
Text
Share My Gum
I cry
Like you cum
Spilling down our knuckles
Licked from both our thumbs
And the rivulets’ reflexive
Desire to meld together
Has me wondering less
How you could smell
The spearmint
Across the phone
And more
Why we cannot
Share the suffering
Like we shared
The joy
________________________
Maureen Armstrong @haikkun
99 notes · View notes
circusmania · 2 months
Text
SIN CHAPTER 1
Tumblr media
꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦
Notes: This story is first-person narration, since I couldn't decide on an x reader or x oc. This gives free imagination on who will be in the main character's shoes. The main character will be a nameless character, meaning no one will address the main as anything specific. The only detail will be that the main is perceived as a male.
STORY INTEL: A new boy, Marcus, has just transferred to Cheshire High. Everyone is warned to stay away from him, as he looks as if he just crawled out of a grave. However, our main character seems to be somewhat drawn to him. Judy displays her negative feelings towards Marcus, wanting the main character to stay away from him. Although she seems unreasonable, there has to be more to the story, right? Just what are they hiding? What secrets lie in wait for him to uncover?
CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINORS
Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦
I wish that
Across your back
Was a zipper
And that I
Could just crawl in
Forever a part of you.
I'm suddenly shaken awake. I look to my side to find my girlfriend, Judy Presley, giggling to herself.
“Sleeping already? Class barely started!”
I quietly laughed, raising my head to look at her.
“I've been busy with football practice, I'm worried about the upcoming tournament. I've only just found out that Oliver broke his-”
“Hey, no worries!” Judy rubbed my back. “You can come over to my house today, so you can catch up on some sleep.” She winked.
I laid my head back onto my crossed arms on the table. I wasn't in the mood for that today… Anyway, I ready myself to fall back into slumber, fully expecting to be hugged by sleep.
However, that idea was cut short when the teacher clapped his hands.
“Quiet down everyone, today we have a new student.” This piqued my interest. “Marcus, come on in.”
A tall, slender boy with long (and I mean hip-long) black hair came in. His hair covered half his face, with only the septum piercing and mouth left out in the open. I could tell he was a gothic-alt based on his clothes.
Judy cringed next to me. “What's with this guy? He's so ... depressed, looking. She chuckled, causing” the teacher to look our way.
“Alright, Marcus, go sit at the desk table next to Judy. Judy, raise your hand, please.”
Marcus sat at the nearby desk; there was something about him, I couldn't pinpoint. I realized I was staring too long when Judy elbowed me.
“Ow!” I whisper-yelled.
“SH! You two!” The teacher side-eyed us both before going back to teaching.
“What's with the staring?” She asked, suspiciously.
“Nothing just found him-”
“Weird, satanic, faggy-”
“JUDY! You can't say that!-”
“I've had it with you both! Since you both cannot stop being lovey-dovey with each other…” The teacher scanned around the room, “Judy switch with Marcus.”
“But sir, I-” Judy argued, still blushing from the lovey-dovey accusation.
“No buts Judy, if you're going to be disrespectful in my class you're going to be punished. This isn't kindergarten anymore.” He said, turning back to the blackboard.
I whispered a silent apology to her, but I'm not sure if she heard it.
She sighed before grabbing her stuff and standing up. She passed Marcus, silently glaring at him before sitting down. I'm sure she won't let me hear the end of it at lunch…
I looked back at Marcus, who was now organizing his binder and pencil case, occasionally looking up at the lesson. Now I could get a better look at him. His clothes consisted of only black and grey shades with ripped baggy jeans, platform boots, and a t-shirt with some rock band, I presume. He wore all kinds of chains, necklaces, earrings, and rings.
He was the complete polar opposite of Judy. She always put her light brown hair in a ponytail with a white bow, wore perfect matching season clothes, and had well-made makeup. I would be lying if I said she wasn't something but, Marcus, he was also something… Wait, why am I comparing them??
I rubbed my temples and groaned.
I looked back at Marcus, only to be met with him facing me!
“You have very pretty eyes.” He said, giving me an affiliative smile.
Gasp His voice?? Holy shit, it's … almost unrealistic…
“T-thank you…”
I internally slapped myself, was I seriously stuttering?? God, I'm so embarrassed.
I heard him lightly chuckle beside me.
What's going on with me? I must be coming down with something!
゚+: *✧・゚:﹤ 🔔🔔🔔﹥: ・゚✧*:+゚
“Judy this, Judy that, shut your goddamn mouth!” I shut my locker, half listening to Judy's rant. “I hate that fucking teacher! Who does he think he is, separating us like that!?” I nod, just letting her get it all out of her system.
“Hey guys, wait up!” A small voice behind us made Judy shut up.
We both turned towards a familiar girl. Vanessa Kareem, Judy's BFF (as she calls it). Vanessa and her have always been friends. She was pretty much the spitting image of Judy except for her black silky hair that was in a grunge haircut, her blue eyes, and her much paler skin.
“Hey V, how's it going?” Judy smiled, forgetting all about her rant.
“Nothing much, however, you'll never guess what happened! I've just received another A! In science too!” She waved her test around, looking at me for words of praise.
“Oh, uh, congrats Vanessa, although I'm not all that surprised… you're pretty smart. I can't remember the last time you've gotten a B.” I rub the back of my neck.
“Me neither…” Judy said, a bit sourly.
Vanessa laughed, “Oh, stop it! Both of you! He-he. Anyway, how are you guys?”
“I'm glad you asked, we're doing pretty miserable,” And there she goes again… “I got switched seats with the new vampire wannabe.”
Vanessa blinked. “You two aren't sitting together anymore?”
“No! Can you believe it!? We always sit together! Ugh! I'm so pissed off! Fuck that new kid.” Judy screamed.
“Hey, don't say that! He's not all bad.” I intervened.
“And what makes you say that?” Judy cocked an eyebrow.
“He… He said my eyes looked nice.” I pinched the palm of my hand.
“Your eyes indeed do look nice,” Vanessa said, causing Judy to side-eye her.
“Yeah, well, I say that all the time! As a matter of fact, I think your hair looks immaculate today!”
“Thank you, Judy, and erm, Vanessa.” I give them both a wary smile before continue walking to the cafeteria.
There, MY best friend, Omar Thomerson, sat devouring his lunch. Omar, he's been with me since the universe was created. We're convinced we were best friends in our past lives. I've always thought of him as the geek in our friendship. He's always been obsessed with any fantasy fiction he can grab on. Greek mythology, science-fiction, astrology, you name it. He has dark brown hair with a shag haircut, freckles, and brown eyes. His typical wear is a worn-out hoodie and cargo pants.
“Hey, Hey, there's my best friend!” Omar patted the seat next to him.
I sat down with Judy and Vanessa trailing after me. I gave him a high five before opening my lunch box.
We all chatted and ate, Omar occasionally bringing up the big party he is planning on having at his house this weekend.
“Our whole grade is going to be invited! You guys better all be coming, especially you” Omar said, smirking at me.
“The whole grade? Don't you think that's too much? I mean, I know you own a big house but…” She sighed, “Not only that, but I might have plans this weekend.” Judy said, taking another bite of her salad.
“I'm for sure coming, I would never miss your parties!” I slap his back jokingly.
“I'll be going too!” Vanessa beamed.
“Well… maybe I'll have time to swing by,” Judy said.
“Great! I'll be holding you all to that then.” Omar smiled.
We continued our conversation until something caught my eye, a familiar half-face going out the back cafeteria door. The only thing behind there are dumpsters and roaches…
“Hang on, guys, I'll be back.” I squeezed out of my seat.
“Want me to come with you?” Judy sat up.
“No, no, I won't be long anyway,” I said before running out after Marcus.
I opened the back door and closed it behind me. I looked around and as expected there were only dumpsters.
I advanced towards one of them and looked behind it, but nothing-
“What are you doing?”
꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦
Want to read ahead? Click here!
Tumblr media
31 notes · View notes
tetheredfeathers · 1 month
Text
Carved dust
Tumblr media
Do you believe in love?
Believe?
How can I only believe,
when love has seeped through my ribs and cracked at the marrow of my ribs.
When even the sweetest of pills could not contain the constant throb of the devil’s words.
Don’t you take me for a fool,
For I at least have courage, I assure you my ink is poured if not spilled.
I shall not be enthralled by misery, as you desire for your pitiful heart.
Do not speak of the poets you say,
they shroud only with death’s cloth.
Enough to stray even a sheep’s flock.
Sick as I am,
I must tell you that even love could not carve out dust,
that even she could not tether me to the ground.
It was only when I had lost,
And had struck my self with bloody rocks.
I let the fibers of desire burn wisps into every mark,
so shall they leave unearthly scars.
For it was only love that could save and still leave you lost.
-H.K
21 notes · View notes
bandgie · 7 months
Text
Lost & Found
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
a/n: hey guys! so this is the second part of Predator & Prey. you don't have to read that first, but it defo will help with references and what not lmao. to be clear, this is not a chapter of the predator and prey series, this what happens after the series.
synopsis: You hated the little town you lived in, you hated your job, hated how everyone knew everyone, you hated how your mother didn't care about how much you hated it. You needed to do something, to get out of this repetitive life. You've decided to apply to be a maid in the castle for the Viscount and his family. With this new life, you hope to change your pace. Yet, one of the sons can't help but give you an eerie sense of familiarity.
cw: reader is mischievous/a little mean, mentions of insecurity, toxic family/people, running away, I dunno that's it
3.1k words
Tumblr media
She grabbed you roughly by the arm, literally throwing you out of the little shop. You landed on your knees, the cold snow burning your skin. You heard her take steps towards you and before you could turn, she kicked you right on the ass. You yelped.
"You're fired! I don't want to see your pathetic face again. Ya hear me?!" Your boss screamed as you struggled to your feet. She was a big lady, tall and thick with curves. A well-sign that she was fed well, paid well enough to afford food. Despite that, she still paid you so little. Measly coins of copper when you knew you deserved more.
When you confronted her about it, she shot you down. She got so defensive that you knew she was lying to you. So you did the only reasonable thing you could think of, steal her food and throw it to the cattle. She did not take it well, of course, and when she asked you about it you confessed rather easily. 'It was me. I did you a favor really, you were starting to get bigger than the cows.'
You had managed to stand on your feet, ignoring the pain in your legs. "I don't need this shit job anyway," you try not to shout. "I could have been making 3 times as much scooping up the dung from the animals." You could tell she wanted to slap you, but there were too many eyes on you both. It wasn't easy living in a small village, everyone was too nosy for their own good.
"Take your things, and go." She had her arms folded onto other chest. You roll your eyes, not bothering to go inside the shop and see if you did have any belongings. Even if you did, you kept it on you at all times. You had a feather necklace, one you kept in your pocket when it wasn't around your neck. For good measure, you flipped off your ex-boss and made your way to your house.
The walk home should have been shameful. All eyes were on you, whispers as you walked by, looks of pity and disgust from the people. You wanted to scream, you wanted to beat all of them to the ground for not minding their business. It's going to be very hard to find another job now, you couldn't help but think.
Once you got to you little cottage, you were bombarded with children running around. Your mother ran a small daycare inside the home, an easy way to make money. You stopped yourself from swearing at the kids as they stepped on your feet. With a groan, you pushed through them, ignoring how some cried and yelled at you. Your mom was not far, coming out of the cooking area to greet you.
"How was it today?" She asks. You debate on lying or telling her the truth, but you're too frustrated to have it in you to lie. "I was terminated. Good riddance." Your mom gasps at the news, hands covering her mouth. "You lie! Please tell me that you lie," her voice was desperate. "No," you speak firmly. "She was hogging all of the money, I was getting mere scraps."
Your mom huffs, hands on her hips. "That is no matter. You still needed a job that paid. How else do you think we put food on the table." She gestured to the 10 children that loudly scream and play. "You cannot expect me to be able to afford food when I can't even afford bones of an animal," irritated laced with your words. With an eye roll, your mom makes her way to the children, calling them for lunch.
You watch as the children slowly quiet down, walking to the dinner table. They're so young, so free, so careless. You envy them. Oh, how you would give up your adulthood for your youth, unknowing of the ruthless world. Your mother calls for you to help, but you're so lost in thought. Is it the world that's cruel? Or is is this village? This place with so many people up your ass that you can't breathe?
"Mom," you start. "Let's move." Your demand has your mom giving you a questioning look. "Don't be silly. Come help me serve the children." She disregards you quickly. Still, you keep remained in your place. "I can't stay here. We can't stay here. Let's go elsewhere. To a city so big no one knows our names, we start start fresh. We can be happy," you can hear your voice breaking.
You think that because some of your emotion is breaking thorough, she'll give in. Or at least consider it. Instead, she eyes you weirdly again. "We are happy, my child. You just had a bad day. Come and help me with-"
"No!" You shout before you can think. Your voice has the children quiet their conversations, eyes on you. On you, on you, on you. No one will just stop looking at you, no one will just see you as a person, no one will respect you here. "I hate it here!" Your eyes sting with tears. "I can't stand another second in this place. Everyone knows my name, they know my face, they act like they know me when they don't! I hate how they stare at me. How they look at me with such venom." You gasp for air, tears now fully dripping down your face.\
Pity. It's pity that your mom looks at you with. Not understanding, not love. Pity.
"I understand, my rose. But whose fault is that?" Your breath gets caught in your throat from her words. She really has the audacity to blame you? "You make a ruckus everywhere you go," she presses on. "You think I don't know what they say about you? About me? This village thinks I raised you wrong, when in fact, it's you that's just wrong. Can't you be grateful? You're lucky your mother puts up with these rumors. I should've kicked you out the moment you began causing chaos."
Her face is slightly pink from anger, hands clasping the wooden spoon a little harder than she should. Then, like she didn't just berate you, she serves the children. You stand there stunned. You're not sure how you're feeling; Angry? Sad? Neglected? Ignored? Shocked? Unimportant? You then wipe your tears, infuriated at yourself for wasting them to begin with.
"You don't have to worry about kicking me out. I'll leave," and with that, you take long strides to your bedroom. You grab your wool sack that will barely fit the things you need. It's not as though you had many things to begin with, but it really dawned on you then how little you had. For good measure, you grab your candle and matches, sure they would come in handy for the night. Once done, you reach under your yarn bed for a small pouch full of coins you've managed to save up.
You make your way out of your room, sack over your shoulder with the feathers necklace around your neck. You don't know even know how long you've had it for, but you still could never seem to part with it. It was huge, bigger than your hand. It seemed to blend perfectly with the night. Your mother always begged you to get rid of it, that it was riddled with disease. You wouldn't, maybe you couldn't.
Your mom sighs, seemingly irritated with you, "You're being dramatic." It takes restraint to ignore her words, continuing towards the door. She follows you though, fast feet behind you. "Foolish girl. You think you can survive out there in the winter?" You open the door, biting back the freezing air as you step out.
To your surprise, she's still following you. "My god! Get your bottom back in the house and-" You finally spin around, facing your mother. "No. I will not go back into that god forsaken house, to this god forsaken village. I will leave, and you will not see me again." You don't bother to wait for her reply, instead quickly walking to the path that leads out of the village.
Her footsteps stop, a clear indication that she is no longer behind you. Still, her voice carries in the wind, "Don't expect me to accept you when you come crawling back again!" You shake your head in an attempt to get her voice out of your mind.
Despite having a tear-stained face, you still have your determination. The will to save yourself from this life, the will feel alive.
The cold air around you is enough to have you feeling alive, adrenaline still running high. It's probably how you manage to push forward for hours without so much as a break. The sun in well down, and you were glad you could fit a lantern inside your bag. It may provided little light, but you could feel the heat radiating from it.
It's not as though you didn't know where you going, you already had a place in mind. There a big city not too far from where you lived, a place called Capua. It's where many of the noble men lived, even people who worked directly under the king. You may not be able to live there like them, but you could start fresh there. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice old lady to work with, clean her house for easy money.
Gosh, you could practically taste the metallic coins on your tastebuds. Your dream would was only another 2 days away, and you were more than eager to have it. For tonight, however, you find yourself resting in an old shack. You found this place many years ago when you ran away as a young maiden. It was dusty, abandoned, and smelly. Not that it mattered now, for tonight, it was your new home.
Your dreams consisted of your daily lives, though much exaggerated. You could hear them laughing, whispering about you even if there was no one nearby. You tossed in your sleep. It was all too much, you couldn't even escape your pathetic life in sleep. Then, your dream shifted to your future new life. What if they laughed at you there as well? What if your behavior was so bad back at home, that the people of Capua heard of the rumors. No one would hire you. You would still be alone.
The nightmare shifts, and you're suddenly standing in the woods. A man, if you can call it that, stand in front of you. He has horns on his head, eyes black, wings surrounding his frame. He is no human, but he gives you a strange sense of safety. He's saying something, but you can't understand him. Then you notice his bloody hands, his bloody teeth.
You open your mouth the scream, but instead you say, "So, see you later alligator?" Your voice sounds different, almost like you had an unfamiliar accent. The 'man' gives you a puzzled look, "Yes, but I am not an alligator." Pain, your chest heaved with heartbreak as you walk away from him, into a glowing tree.
Wait! You want to scream. Where am I? Who are you? Instead, your dream self watches as the 'man' disappears until he's nothing but a memory. A locked echo you have forgotten in all these lives but this one. You can feel yourself waking up, how his face so easily turns hazy.
The sun peeks through one of the broken windows of the shack, effectively waking you up. Tiredly, you sit up. You look around for a moment, as if forgotten where you were. That dream, you couldn't help but think about it. It was like a distant memory, a place with a person you once knew. It's all garbled know, and you can't really recall the exact details in your wake.
Not that it matters, you have a journey ahead of yourself and you shouldn't waste daylight. A yawn leaves your lips as you stand, bones lightly cracking at the movement. You slip on your shoes, which are slightly damp from the snow. Without your mother noticing before you left, you had managed to sneak away some food. You take a moment to stretch before your walk while you eat.
You groan as you reach for they sky. Your body slightly aches from sleeping oh the floor, but you hope that your long stroll with that the pain away. Once you've finished warming up, you make your way outside. The morning cold nips at you immediately, but it's much more compared to the night.
The sun is over the horizon, still faints of pink from sunrise. There's no time to admire Earth's natural beauty. You have a voyage ahead of yourself.
-
It's the next day when you make it to the city of Capua. It's already almost sundown, and you need to find an inn quickly. The air is totally different. You can't help but feel like it's actually warmer here. There's so many people on the streets that they bump into each other, not bothering to apologize.
You actually feel a little honored when you yourself get knocked into. "Watch where you're going!" They practically scream at you. Still, there's not an ounce of anger in you when they do. Instead, you beam at them. You ignore how puzzled they look when you do.
You really want to explore the city, but your feet are unbelievably sore from the walking. Your lower back aches from the places you've been sleeping which consisted of the floors of abandoned homes. It was a sacrifice you were willing to make for this moment now.
The inn you find is small, low lit with candles, and cheap. It pretty much costs the entirety of your money pouch, but you need a good nights rest. Your room is small, merely a bed of hay with an even smaller desk.
Smiling, you set your belongings down and rest on the make shift bed. A new start, a life you've been dreaming of awaits you. When morning comes, you will look for a good job with good income. Screw your mom and the people that mocked you, they're the ones still stuck in that shit village.
Your dreams are still weird even here. You though you were having strange dreams because of the cold. In this instance, you're placed in a house so big you think it's a castle. People busy around you at the their tasks. You look down at yourself to see yourself wearing clothes of that of a maid.
The people, who you assume are other servants, talk in hush whispers. 'I hear he is cruel, unwilling to submit to anyone and anything.' 'That's not what I heard,' says another, 'I hear he has an illness, so he can't do normal tasks.' The room grows quiet when the person they were speaking of comes in.
His eyes don't bother looking at them, instead making his way past them. For a second, he meets yours. You stiffen under his gaze, his piercing eyes. A look of recognition passes him. Just as quick as he looked your way, he averts his eyes. 'You both are wrong.' One speaks once he's out of the room. 'He just prefers to be alone. Just likes it when someone keep his bed warm.' The voices snicker around you.
Morning comes quickly, ridding you of the details of your dreams. You have a mission today, and that's to find a job. The clothes you brought are not appealing to the eye, but they will have to do for now. You wear a nude color long sleeve over your white linen. Your skirt is long, almost brushing the ground. You wear stockings underneath and two pairs of sock.
The necklace feather matches your outfit well, and you wear it proudly. You clutch it in your hands, softly praying. Truthfully, you're nervous, scared even. You're in a new place with people and places you don't know. No one is here to help you, but then again, no one was there to help you back home.
Your quickly shown how difficult it is to find a job in a big city. Some people reject you rather harshly, and others don't even give you the time of day. That's fine, you try to convince yourself. It's only the first day, can't expect to have it all.
Now you sit in a tavern next to the fire to keep warm. The sun is still high, so not many people find themselves here. Only a few older men drink away, casually flirting with hostess who's just doing their job. The woman quickly spots you and makes her way to you. Once she's at your table, you wave your hand to dismiss her.
"I don't plan on getting a drink, sorry," you apologize. Instead she shakes her head, "No worries, I was truly trying to get away from those men. Just pretend to order something please." You immediately nod, "Of course. I'm sure working here can be stressful." She laughs, her cheeks turning a light pink. "Wouldn't you like to know? Pry, why come to this place if you don't plan on drinking?"
Her question leaves you a little embarrassed, but you find no harm in telling her the truth. "I came to this city looking for a job. I'm having no luck so far." She makes an open mouth expression in understanding. "Ah many young ladies like yourself do that same. Tell me, can you read?" Once again, you're embarrassed to tell the truth, but you do anyway.
"No. I come from a small village where schooling is scarce." You watch as her lips pinch into a thin line. "Reading is an important skill to have here in Capua, but I think your illiteracy might work in your favor." You eyes spark with hope as she continues speaking. "The Viscount is looking for a maid, only requiring that she doesn't have the ability to read. Does that interest you?"
You jump up from your seat, nodding frantically. "Yes! Oh Lord yes that's perfect!" You look around to notice the nearby older men staring at you. Quietly, you continue, "So where do I apply for the Viscount?" The hostess seems pleased at your reaction with the smile on her face.
"He lives up on the hill in the mansion, you cannot miss it. Though I should warn you, I hear he and his family can be quite unforgiving." She finishes. You shrug, "That is no matter to me. I thank you for your help." With that, you reach for your pocket and hand her there remaining money. It's honestly not even enough to order a round of pints, but she looks at it almost affectionately.
You can hear her telling you that she doesn't want the money, but you're already waving goodbye from the entrance. Your prayers have been answered.
a/n: hey yyaaalll I hoped you enjoyed. I hope it wasn't too boring, im just setting up the story yk. no clue how long this will be, no idea. I was actually planning on making nyryx a prince but I think that would've been too of a position for him. so yeah in case you haven't caught on, reader and nyryx are reborn in older times. I just love historical settings idk. also, if you saw another post of mine called 'lost & found'...no you didn't
taglist: @whatamidoing89, @panda-wolf, @fatgumsbby, @nekohollowsychogoth
37 notes · View notes
Text
Sweet Aphrodite teach me to love my loneliness and the long hours between smiles.
261 notes · View notes
skyetheprophet22 · 6 months
Text
Haibun
Haibun ~ Haibun is a prosimetric literary form originating in Japan, combining prose and haiku. The range of haibun is broad and frequently includes autobiography, diary, essay, prose poem, short story and travel journal. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’re probably wondering how I died. It’s a reasonable question. Afterall, if I were still alive and saw a ghost hovering five feet in front of me, I would be a bit curious. Well, I would be frightened at first, of course - just as any sane person would be, but then again I’m not sure if I’m completely sane. It’s a question I’ve had a while to ponder in this state, but I should probably end this tangent. You’re not interested in my mental health, are you? The question you really want to ask is: “How did you die, oh strange, sorrowful spectre?” And to that question I say: “No.” You don’t get that. This is still my life, and I don’t need it flaunted for your or others’ amusement. That’s not how it should be...because...because my life is - was? - worth more than that. I don’t care what you think. I care what my family thinks; my friends, at least the few that I think I have...or had. And even that I question on the best of days.
One bird on a branch
At what point does love pollute?
Fragile be thy roots
18 notes · View notes
username-stfu · 1 year
Text
!TW SU1c1D3!
I want to die. I want to die. I really, really, really fucking want to die. I want to die. I want to go where I don’t have to lie.
I can't die. I can't die, so instead I won’t exist.
If I have to live, I won’t exist. If I have to live, I won’t exist.
I have to repeat to make my words clear. If I have to be here, I don’t want to Exist.
Let me lie here and not exist. Leave me alone because I don’t exist. Don't worry about me. I don’t exist.
If you want me here that bad, at least let me have this; let me not exist.
38 notes · View notes
Text
Under The Arbor
A short story, First Part coming January 2024.
All fox cubs leaves their mothers den eventually. They set out out, and become their own hunter, den builder and protecter. Providing for themselves and if blessed, eventually kits of their own before sending them out on the same journey. The forest can be scary to new residents but full of potenal for young yearling foxes making a place of their own. Fall Leaf is so sure of being ready. But how much her certeintly will be tested is yet to be discovered as winters frost creeps in around her.
Tumblr media
9 notes · View notes
yama-hai-hum · 6 months
Text
"How can I cry about one thing at a time when my tears fall? The boundaries of reason always get blurred with the past."
.
Tumblr media
.
.
.
Yama
.
.
9 notes · View notes
xiealies · 5 days
Text
Blog Series 2024: Entry 1.
Title: A love letter.
Everything turns down whenever you are near. Your presence eats me up. I was whisked away; I can't even feel my breath. I feel myself being suffocated. As words kept being stuck in my throat, Millions of words play in my mind. But it can’t be blurted out. ‘I want to be the reason behind your smile and laughter’ Voices of selfishness kept on whispering. You are light years away from me like the stars, Deep as the sea, which I am frightened to dive into, As hot as the sun, I feel myself burning. It is tough liking you as it is already. I can’t bring myself to express what I feel. I am starting to hate myself as our story progresses. I detest myself for letting you affect me this much. From how you made my day with your smile, How your laughter became music to my ears How the noises tone down whenever you're around. I swore that I wouldn’t let myself feel this way again. I hate how you tear down my walls so easily. Every moment I am with you goes by in a blur. My eyes just followed you as if it were natural. Every word you spoke was like a melody that I couldn't get out of my head. I was in denial at first. You are so loveable, I can’t help but acknowledge it.
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
Written by: Xielies Posted: March 23, 2024
4 notes · View notes
I learned painting for the sky
For you,the words of Faiz
And for Faiz,the urdu lexicon.
~Shriya K.
3 notes · View notes
godofthemoss · 6 months
Text
Bee’s National Forest of Eldritch Horrors
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hi! Original story here that includes some eldritch horrors going on in a national forest park including a nonbinary park ranger and their love interest a little gremlin of a wannabe monster hunter. Although maybe he's right about the entities in the park. Fuck.
Chapter One
“Saw that little occult nerd of yours in the woods again, he was covered in some kind of green snail jizz. Probably sap or something. He smelled sweet. Anyway, the idiot swore up and down that he had run into some kind of monster den. And guess what? When I went and checked it out there were boulders in front of the supposed ‘lair’. Someone needs to drag that poor dye job back to the city. He’s losin’ his shit out here, Bear.”
“What did I say about using my legal name, Bernice? Just call me Bee or bitch or whatever thousands of other nicknames you seemingly call me anywhere besides the forest.” 
Bear swept a hand through their too-early-to-be-greying hair. Bear was already pissed their tea mug was cold. They didn’t need Bernice secondhand yelling at them for Septimus again. Bernice sat on the edge of Bear's desk and picked up their baggie of walnuts and waved it in front of them. She leaned in close and looked deep into their eyes.
“Now you’d tell me: your official work bestie if you,” Bernice narrowed her eyes. “Had a thing for dyed hair, yeah?”
Bear just blinked up at her.
“Didn’t you just spend like two hundred dollars getting your new hair though?”
Bernice deadpanned and leaned in closer. She slapped down the walnuts.
“Bear Newton. Not only are we indoors at the park so I can call you whatever I want but I’m GAY! Which you are well aware of. Do you ever use those brain cells of yours?”
Bear just screwed up their face, still not getting it.
“Weren’t you just asking if I think dyed hair is cool? Your hair is cool Bernice I already told you that after you got it.”
Bernice groaned and pretended to drop dead to the floor dramatically. She spread her arms and legs all over the floor and groaned and rolled around.
“How the hell did you get in charge around here? You are so dumb, Bear. Honestly. It hurts my heart. Just never mind. Eat your damn walnuts. You need the brain power. Maybe a peppermint after too my old science teacher always said that helped and you need it.”
Bear happily did. After a minute or two of Bear eating and Bernice just lying quietly on the ground, she got up and went to her own desk. It was high noon and they had to finish up their paperwork before their park rotation was up. This month they were in the afternoon to midnight crew.
A creak of the bathroom door and Eckie the tabby came out strutting. The old cat was well-fed and well-groomed for a feral cat. Eckie was perfectly round but not too fat and his short hair was always pristine. A grey, black, and light brown striped tabby cat. Green knowing eyes. For as long as the cat’s apparently been in the forest he’s got all his eyes, ears, and a full tail. Bear always thought it weird with the amount of predators in the park. They had seen a video of a cat slapping a sea lion though.
How he always let himself in the Mothra house was beyond Bear’s or their team’s knowledge but the cat always found a way in. Weird as the cat was, he was Bear’s favorite little creature in the entire world. They even had a bed for him which the cat jumped up to reach on the desk. Their coworkers had made fun of them but they didn’t care. Eckie was like their baby and made their job easier to work through. Bear gently petted Eckie while writing down the latest littering incident.
“Mothra house come in.”
The radio cut through the easy quiet of the small office. It was hard to tell with the tone taken out by the walkie but the voice, Ayla’s, sounded rushed. Bernice jumped for the closest walkie sitting over on the counter in the small kitchenette they had. Seemingly unaware of the hurried voice, Bernice took the time to perch herself up on the counter and flip her locs over her shoulder. Little decorations shone in the sunlight coming in through the nearby window.
“Mothra house, whatcha need?”
“Get to Scully’s Fall. We gotta missing person and two dead.”
Bear immediately shot up and ran over for the walkie-talkie, not bothering to take it out of Bernice’s hand when they called over.
“Ayla, it’s not the green-haired kid right?”
“No, but he’s here alright. Y’all head out. Call Akane and Ramhead.”
“Copy.” Bear and Bernice spoke simultaneously while also both holding down the button.
It didn’t take more than a breath and a tilt of the head at each other and they were already grabbing their coats and equipment. Bernice grabbed the keys and roared the truck to life. Bear gave a yell for Eckie to man the helm and they locked the door. Bear took their phone from their pocket and sent a quick text to Septimus.
Bear: You’d better count your lucky fucking stars I don’t see you out there.
Around halfway there they got a response.
Septimus Pinepike: I can help!!!!!!!!! I think I know what it is!
Bear: No.
Septimus Pinepike: :(
Septimus Pinepike: maybe close ur eyes when u get here then lol
Bear shoved their phone in their pocket and practically kicked their door open when they arrived. Florence and her girls were on the scene already and it was grizzly. Blood drowned the rock around the shore of the river at the bottom of the falls. The bodies were in pieces which made sense and so was their canoe. Coming down Scully’s fall was no joke. What eluded Bear was how they missed all the giant signs at the fork of the river. The old rangers made sure the Twisting Crook River was posted up with about twenty little signs growing in size the closer one got to the fork that divided the main river path and the cliff run.
“Florence, the front desk said they don’t recognize these folks, and the one I.D. we found doesn't match our records of folks comin' in. Must’ve snuck in.” Ayla had been working too hard, as usual, blood smothered her shirt and she was already making calls.
The image of the girls pulling the bodies from the river seared in Bear’s mind. They were all tougher than them but no one, in their mind, should have to do something like that but every once in a while they sure had to. The cops were always late and if they could someone they would. Always seemed like grim work for the paradise they practically lived in. Bear took the scene in carefully, and looked over; Bernice was doing it too. She was lowered to the ground by the canoe, so Bear got to ground level with the bodies alongside her and slapped on some gloves.
“Who’s the missing one? The I.D person?” Bear muttered as they inspected a twisted face with a gloved hand. “And why’s the face this bad?” 
Bear took a second to look at the full body. Full wasn't actually right though. Some things were missing and it wasn't just the face that was bad. Everything was twisted up wrong. The bodies, or more accurately, the pieces that were on shore were bent in nearly impossible ways. Ways a river just doesn’t do. Something about the way the bones were jutting out twisted up Bear’s stomach sharp and quick. They only had a moment to sprint to the nearby bushes to vomit. After washing out their mouth and wobbly walking back like they didn't just evict their entire body and spirit to the girls all greeting them with unimpressed looks, Bear squatted back down.
“I.D. man is missing.” Florence quickly showed Bear and Bernice the I.D. and its information after ending her call. “Miri’s house is checking the perimeter. Cops are coming,” Groans sounded from everyone, but Florence kept on. “And they will handle the rest. We just have to fan out for the missing guy. And, uh, Ole Less said the river does that sometimes, certain rocks and whatnot don't go all buck wild about it.”
“Are you one hundred percent sure it was just some rocks, Flo?” Bernice had her face screwed up in plain disbelief.
Florence just shrugged, “Boss said it was some rocks, would you rather it be a deranged serial killer in the park, Bernie? People can’t do this type a’ shit.”
“Then why is the boat like this?”
What was left of the boat itself was just weird. It was a weird fractal mess of colors and glittery iridescence of different sizes spiraling underneath blood. Lots of blood. The metal was forced open at weird, wrong angles. Some of it looked so thin while other chunks of the canoe were thick. Bear thought perhaps that part was just their lack of knowledge of canoe making because that thing had to have been hand-crafted, but still, it rubbed them the wrong way.
“Bit too much blood, here don’t ya think, Florence?”
“Kid, try gettin’ a period.”
That got a huff of laughter from the rest of the girls. Florence was right though, so Bear let it go. With the few accidents they had seen over time, the blood always seemed impossible anyway. The amount of blood in people was an insane thing to think about. Though the thought of this still being too much blood persisted in their head. They threw a glance at Bernice and she already had her ‘We’re missing something here’ look on. They made sure the rest of the rangers weren’t looking and then slowly nodded back. Something was different about this and the others were already dismissing it.
“Where’s Septimus?” Bear quietly asked once they and Bernice were done looking the scene over.
“Who?” Ayla quirked an eyebrow up at them.
Bear sighed, “The dark green-haired guy. Kinda short. Talks a lot.”
“Oh!” Ayla gave him a wink. “Off ahead with Mothman house. Sure you can catch up to ‘em.”
Bear simply nodded their thanks and headed towards the surrounding woods with Bernice in tow. They had no idea why no one else was keen on keeping the guy out of trouble but extra eyes to search does help, Bear mused to themself. When they were out of earshot Bear pulled Bernice close by the arm.
“You think they’re just too used to this stuff to see it doesn’t make sense at all? I mean they all did a bunch of stuff like this before we got hired a few years ago.” 
Bernice glanced over her shoulder, “Yeah I mean, rocks could definitely fuck up the bodies but how did they miss the sign? Who dragged them on the shore? Ayla said she didn't do it when you were throwing up. If it's I.D guy then what a battered, half-dead man pulled them up and some of their pieces? I don’t think so. Times like these are when I wanna believe our little monster detective. 'Cuz if a person did this...”
“We’ve had so many accidents and just weird fucking call-ins. Are people being stupider than usual out here? I really hope it's not a killer, but maybe someone lured them out here to get murdered?”
“Well, the thing is people are just really stupid sometimes. They don’t believe death comes on that black train till it rams them off a fucking cliff and they fucking die.”
“Maybe the heroin epidemic reached those granola girls and camping dads you always joke about? The majority of our reports are white people.” Bear let out a low unconvincing laugh. They really shouldn't be joking right now but the thought of a serial killer flooded them with a simmering fear they couldn't afford on the clock.
“White folks do acid in the woods if I remember anything from college, not heroin but shit maybe. Black and brown people know how to stay on their toes I’m not surprised it's just white people calling in.”
“Bernice. That I.D.. If all those men were from Nighmoor. I didn’t recognize the name but what if—”
Bernice barked a laugh, “You sound like fuckin’ Septimus.”
Bear stifled a laugh. “No, just what if it has something to do with my hometown, Bernice? It has a long history of really dark shit. Cults and stuff. That makes it more of an us problem and less of a park problem. The town's not far and I mean you know I don't believe in that supernatural shit but it's really weird, right? What if some cult or some devil group is up to something.”
Before Bernice could reply the cops and the rest of the Mothra house pulled up as they reached where the shore met the forest’s edge. Bernice waved over Akane and Ramhead who went bug-eyed at the accident scene but quickly switched to their professional faces and veered towards them. Florence started her typical heckling and bossing around the cops. Which in Bear’s opinion, was well-needed. Sheriff Ulric was old and shit at his job.
“Don’t know what the hell they think Ulric’s boys are gonna do. Why do we call them for this type a’ shit again?” Ramhead pulled up on his belt, making his equipment clang through the afternoon.
“It's the law, bud.” Akane slapped him on the back. “Alright, what’re we lookin’ for?”
“Oh, the typical, white male in his mid-thirties, blonde hair, and named Steven. Oh, and Bear’s little goblin boy.”
“We are in the woods.” Bear seethed.
“And off we go a’ singin’, Big Bear. Let’s fan out.” Akane pushed him off to the far right.
When looking for a missing person each ranger walks in a grid formation of the woods. It was important to make sure no gaps were left unchecked. Each ranger was placed in a specific range of one another. The other three began to spread out far to the left. Each had grabbed their own walkies, flashlights, and first aid kits, and unfortunately out here required a gun. Pistols for small creatures and rifles for larger predators. Man included.
“Mothman house come in? Mothra house has joined the search team.” Bear radioed over.
“Bet. We’ll stop until you guys are in eyesight. We didn’t start too long ago, probs fifteen minutes before you guys. We do have a bit of a clothing trail going on though, one shoe. Black river shoe with a purple streak thing.”
“Roger that Miri, see you soon.” Akane radioed.
“Bear, your little creature is stealing all of my snacks! Come and get him! Ugh, how are you hungry! People just died! No! Ugh, as if.”
Bear could hear cackling to their left.
I make sure this kid doesn’t get killed off in the woods a few times and suddenly he’s my responsibility?
Around fifteen minutes later dyed green hair comes into focus. Septimus had on a flashy shirt with a purple and neon green robot and a bright mint green puffer coat. The bright colors of his top half contrasted with his black carpenter pants but then at the bottom, he just needed more color with some color block sneakers. To top it off he had a dried sheen of that sap on his coat like Bernice had mentioned. 
At least he wouldn’t get shot or lost too easily. Bear kind of liked it too. More so they liked the old dark leather satchel Septimus always had on. Which was, of course, strapped to his side per usual. Berek swore the kid would rather die than lose that old bag and that book he kept inside it.
“Bee!” Septimus was beaming at him mischievously, double lip piercings and all, and Bear felt themself age another twenty years and also something turn excitedly in their stomach that they routinely ignored.
“Stop stealing other people's food.” Bear grabbed the graham crackers from him and tossed them to Miri. “If you're gonna come out here be prepared.” 
Bear kept their voice stern but not too harsh. It was hard to be mad when Septimus was the only one who followed the No-Yelling-Bear-Unless-There-Is-A-Real-Bear-Rule. Septimus ran over and guided them by the arm over to where they’d begin their now shared grid search. That much was obvious. The professional in Bear had still not been worn down completely though. They had a duty to protect the public as much as possible even though they knew it was useless on Septimus.
“You ought to go home, Septimus. This is a serious case.”
Septimus ran a silver-ringed and tattooed hand through his hair and rolled his eyes.
“Alright, ranger. Good thing my house is this way then, huh?”
Bear just narrowed their eyes at him.
Septimus leaned more into him and tilted his head with a smile.
“Okay, I'm lying, whatever. You wanna know what I think it is?!”
And here it was. What he thought it was. The whole reason Septimus had burrowed his way into Bear’s life over the last few months. It had been annoying at first and sometimes still is but the way Septimus lit up when he had first talked about his monster theories tugged a bit at Bear’s heartstrings. They just didn’t have it in them to crush that light or send it away. It was nice seeing someone so passionate about something even if it was silly.
So, they indulged the guy and somehow became his unofficial forest guide and monster theory confidante. Not that they actually believed any of them. Just a nice thing to do and if they were honest with themselves they didn’t have many friends outside of work. They wondered if this really counted though. The two of them only ever saw each other in the park. Neither of them had mentioned the word friend either.
“Alright kid, shoot.”
Septimus frowned.
“Well, first may I remind you I’m literally five years younger than you. Stop acting like thirty makes you fucking ancient or some shit. Okay, but anyway, I think the initial attack wasn't an attack as much as something messing with them. It changed their reality somehow.”
“So drugs?” Bear leaned in.
“No! I haven’t had time to pin down something in the book but there are a couple of things that really stand out. First off no one paints canoes like that, so it’s been transformed but then I think like why weren’t the people transformed in the same exact way? If it's not something from my book then, I mean those two guys and the I.D. guy seemed super straight by their clothes and shit. That canoe totally looked like some gay art kid threw up their final project—”
That busted a laugh out of Bear but they quickly quieted themselves and kept looking around. “You’re right on one thing.”
“Oh god I know, right? Anyway, it's the fractals that worry me. That’s something so hard to just paint like that they’re all so perfect it looks like nature did it. Like a perfect Lichtenberg figure.” Septimus paused for a few beats looking around. “I don’t know. It rubs me the wrong way which usually means a supernatural way. Obviously, the other dudes' bodies were transformed all unnatural, so maybe it doesn’t all have to match but you’d think it would but maybe it makes more sense that it doesn't. Maybe it's not supposed to. I’ll have to get into the morgue and look at them better later. Maybe the fractals went deeper. They should match if it's what I think it is though.”
“I didn’t hear that.” Bear trudged ahead and out of Septimus’s grip. Eyes scanning their surroundings. “And you didn’t give this whatever you think it is a name yet.”
“Got another shoe and a T-shirt. Covered in blood of course.”
Bear simply sighed and Septimus caught up again and grabbed their elbow as they walked.
“The missing person was wearing cameo in his I.D. photo. What if he’s a hunter? That would have Hyaalakath written all over it. Especially if we find him and he comes back with animal scratches and no memory. The fractals and reality shift are wrong then though. But it is possible to get snatched by another thing out here. Just unlikely.”
“You sayin’ he turned into a werewolf?”
Septimus stopped dead and fixed him with the most offended look possible. Bear just rolled their eyes and kept moving. They still hadn’t spotted anything in their grids. No prints or clothes or anything. Bear could hear Septimus pull out his own flashlight, much smaller than his and definitely from the nineties.
“If it was a werewolf it would be a way different crime scene. That’s like the first thing you learn about in my line of work! Plus werewolf isn't quite right for what those creatures are.”
Septimus was worked up now and Bear might have found it far too amusing.
“Your line of work, huh?” Bear held down a smirk.
“One of these days Bee! One of these fucking days I’m gonna be right!”
“We found what’s left of him. Get to Arden’s section. We’re not on him yet,” There was a hesitant pause. “But we can see it.”
“It?” Bear breathed out in horror to Septimus.
Arden’s section was a puddle of blood and viscera. Only a few feet in either direction but it still seemed so monumental. Bear dry heaved several times while Septimus strode ahead until his sneakers toed into the small pond of flesh, bone, and blood. He pulled out his book and started thumbing through it only for Miri to pull him back gently by his shoulders. Septimus hardly seemed to notice.
“Bear this kid scares me sometimes.” Miri’s face was screwed up in concern but her eyes had a mild amusement. 
Miri was young but had seen some of the worst accidents the park had to offer. She was also a veteran, so Bear figured she’d surely seen some blown-up people before. Explosives though? Out in the forest? It was their first train of thought but that seemed strange although not impossible. Hunters were cruel and uncaring for those who got caught in their traps sometimes. Although they would've gotten a call about a loud boom or bang so perhaps not a bomb. A weird new high-tech hunter trap felt silly now that Bear thought about it now. An old mine perhaps?
The slam of Septimus’s book broke Bear’s thoughts. Looking over at him he watched him rip out of Miri’s arms and right into the center of the puddle. Shouts and swears followed but nobody dared wade in after him. Tucking the book away and rolling up his sleeves, Septimus put his hand into the human sludge and pulled out an opened locket.
Septimus walked back out of the sludge and ignored all the berating and even the lecture pouring out of Bear’s own mouth now on how utterly stupid he was and that this was a crime scene. From his bag, he pulled out a rag with his clean hand, wiped away all the bloody remains from the locket, and then carefully held the locket up to his flashlight. He snapped the locket closed, grabbed a nearby rock, and smashed it full force onto the locket.
“Woah!” Miri barked.
“Yo, get your nerd, Bear!” Quinn had his hands up. They were another one of Miri’s group.
“Mean!” Septimus whipped his head around to Quinn, rock still in hand, who muttered a quick sorry at him. “I’m so pissed. The one fucking time!” Septimus threw the rock out into the woods.
At this point, Ramhead tugged on Bear’s arm and pointed at Septimus and then with two thumbs motioned harshly behind them, and then to further drill home his point he jabbed a finger at Bear's chest. Bear let loose a long and loud sigh, gathering looks from the others. Miri stepped away to radio in the scene and thankfully left out the locket bit, not that the cops would’ve noticed anyway. Bear slowly made his way over to a fuming Septimus and gently pulled him up by his puffer’s collar. Without really noticing anything Septimus followed along consumed by whatever thoughts were raging through his weird little brain.
8 notes · View notes
tetheredfeathers · 1 month
Text
Midnight?
Tumblr media
Your hands clenched mine like a vise,  
as I fed you, oh, so many lies.  
A shell-shocked lunatic, your only reprieve.
As they pried apart our tethered veins,  
my conscience recalled countless trains.  
Mingled breaths, over-looming threats,  
your skin, my sanctuary,  
mistook you for an accessory.
The day the parachutes rained,  
And her blonde curls burst into flames.  
You finally came, a spray of yellow petals,  
for her, you proclaimed.
Still, I must ask.  
Why must your windows be drawn at night?  
Is it to keep the harshest gales from consuming your might?  
Or is it to keep my ghastly skin out of sight?
Why must you add sugar to your tea,  
when you would drink it plain by the oak tree?
Why must your laces flap with your feet,  
as your double knots ensnare my throat,  
in utter conceit.
Why must your eyes beseech me with Sirocco winds,  
when they used to flow like Orinoco’s wings.
I had the sun, and still, I reached for the stars.
A foolish girl, with foolish spars.
When you didn’t come running back,  
I knew I’d fumbled with your life.  
I’d let you go at midnight,  
for that’s when the angels attacked.
So I must know,
To never see my pearl again.  
I watch as fragments of your heart return,  
you must know I was never a good bargain.
I yearn for the boy who pressed his hands against my thighs,
I let the silence of those nights suppress my desires.
I yearn, I yearn,  
For a mere reprieve.  
A way to turn back time,  
to find the boy who was once mine.
-H.K
So this poem was inspired by the line in MJ:
“You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.”
The poem is in Katniss’ pov. It mainly talks about her regrets of letting Peeta go in CF.
I was trying to explore Katniss’ emotion post war when she returned to district 12, i realized that Peeta was probably never the same again. I know he and Katniss grow back together as best they can however, she can never really get back same exact boy before the hijacking.
So she finds little changes he does in his routine like taking sugar in his tea or sleeping with the windows closed. This is obviously not to be taken literally, Peeta doesn’t necessarily do all these things. It’s just to explain the little changes Peeta goes through metaphorically. The poem might be a little exaggerated at some points but I couldn’t help it ig.
I haven’t picked a title yet so if anyone has any ideas pls feel free to tell me. Also feedback and constructive criticism always appreciated.
19 notes · View notes
bandgie · 5 months
Text
Lost & Found
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
a/n: sorry for that wait :(
warnings: MDNI 18+, brief smut, fem!reader, reader walks in on it, cum mentions, jealousy, yeah
2.2k words
Tumblr media
The walk was more intense than you had anticipation. Gravity began to weigh you down rather quickly. Your legs ached, feet cramped, chest squeezing with the inhale of each breath. It was near dark, and you knew damn well that arriving at a mansion so late would raise uncertainty, but you were too desperate to really care.
Trees surrounded the area almost eerily. There a dirt road that lead to the entrance not too far from where you were. Some bushes and flowers were growing on the side of the path. Perhaps they planted those there to lighten the mood, you think. With the shadows of the trees and the beginning of sunset, the house looked somewhat ethereal.
It was then that you saw a woman in working clothes, logs bundled up in her hands most likely for the fireplace. She noticed immediately. It was hard not to when you scurried to her with labored breathing. "Excuse me!" You called out. She took a few tentative steps forward, keeping a distance between you and her. She didn't answer, but made eye contact. You took this as an opportunity to speak.
"I'm so sorry to trouble you, but I heard you were looking for a house maiden that could not read. I'm illiterate and-"
"Oh!" She cuts you off. Her demeanor changes completely. She drops the logs on the ground and reaches for your hand. "Yes yes! We are! Come inside. I'll have to let the head lady know and she'll handle the rest. You must be hungry." Without waiting for your response, she leads you to the front door and allows you to enter.
The mansion was massive on the outside, and it was extravagant on the inside. Ceilings were high, little chandeliers hung everywhere with a big one in the center of the room. The main floor was polished and it shined under the candle lights that were placed everywhere in the house. There was a spiral staircase that lead to the second floor towards the back of the room.
Your eyes trailed around the entire area. There was an east and west part of the first floor; One you assumed for the kitchen and the other for the parlour room. Never had you thought to see such a sight up close, let alone be inside it.
"Go ahead and rest in the drawing room," the woman breaks your thoughts. "I'll draw some tea and get the head lady." She points you the the west side and begins to make her to the East side before she turns around. "I nearly forgot," she starts, "My name is Abigail, it's a pleasure to meet you." You quickly introduce yourself, "The pleasure is mine."
She gives you a friendly smile and bustles away.
-
You're given your black tea quickly, watching as Abagail disappears from the room to get the head lady. Excitement and worry run through your veins. From what you gathered, you seemed like the perfect candidate for this job. The ability to read was important, but it was something you just never really had the opportunity to come across.
Who would've thought it worked in my favor? You wonder. Your tea was barely sipped on before you heard footsteps. You turn your head towards the entrance to see Abagail and a much older lady standing there, eyes already on you. You stood up and briefly curtsied, "Good evening, I'm-"
"Yes Abigail here has already told me," she interrupts. "You're here for the house maiden position I see?" Unlike the first maid you met, this one was rather stern. You could tell for the way her eyes sliced into you, the aged wrinkles on her face. "That is right," you confirm. She hums in understanding. "Though I can see you're eager, you came near sundown. The Viscount is in his room, as is his family. I suppose since we are rather in dire need on an illiterate maid, I can make an exception for your unpunctuality."
You bite your tongue, instead plastering a smile on your face and nodding, "Of course, thank you." This was something you had anticipated, though not so soon. There's always people you have to work with that you might have issues with, it's a guaranteed fact no matter where you go. Still, you hope her attitude is just a strategy to weed out the possible weak links in this mansion.
The head maid, whose name you learned is Meredith, has you go through a series of tests. She hands you writings on paper, some with big and small words. You can recognize some letters, when sentences start and when they end, but actually reading them coherently is near impossible. Meredith is rather surprised by the lack of ability to read. She most likely though you were lying, but she can tell by your expression how hard you were trying to understand what was in front of you.
Then you moved on to numbers, something you could actually recognize. Working at shops, you had no choice but to handle money and perfect your ability to count. Even when you were young, counting was a priority your mom made to teach you. You weren't sure if knowing numbers was a deal-breaker, but Meredith's pleased look told you the opposite. Once you finished your series of trials, she gave you a wide smile.
"I believe you are fit for this position. Cleaning is the main aspect, however you will need to clean the personal library and the Viscount's sons office specifically. Cooking is also necessary, however I don't think we needs more cooks..." Meredith goes on the describe the duties of being a maid here. Though you're trying to listen, you can't help but celebrate on the inside.
You did it. You're here in a new city with people you don't know. You have a job and a place to stay, there's absolutely no reason for you to go back to that shit hole of a village ever again. You find yourself nodding to her requests as she speaks, unable to stop the smile on your face.
"You do understand that you will have to live here as well," she carefully eyes you. "If you have a family or husband back at home, there's some vacation though it's not much." You shake your immediately, "No. None. I came here from a village days away, I can stay here indefinitely." Your answer has her slightly shocked. Though you're still somewhat young, many women your age would have been courted or in the middle of seeking a potential husband.
"Ah, I see," she nods. "Well, I see no issue in you starting immediately. Abagail," she turns to the other maid who has been quiet since the interaction. "Yes Miss?" Meredith stands and nods her head to you, "Prepare a room for our new recruit. There should be some clean sleepwear in the laundry room, have her bathed and dressed for the night."
Abigail nods and ushers to you, a small smile on her lips. She whisks you away to lead you a little further into the parlour room. Besides the piano is a door that she opens with her many keys to reveal the staircase leading downwards. The steps creak as you and her walk, giving you some sense of fear as you walk further into the dark.
Abagail quickly turns talkative once out of ear shot of Meredith, "How exciting! Miss usually has the tests go on for a few days, but your inability must've been so obvious that it wasn't necessary!" Though she meant it as a good thing, you still feel slightly offended by her words. You raise an eyebrow at her, "I'll try to take that as a compliment."
You can see her mortified expression when she recognizers her words. Her apologies come out rapidly, and it looks like she might cry. You quickly raise your hands in defense and shake your head, "No no! I wasn't upset, I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
The sudden sound of creaking and low whining interrupts you. Bits of fear starts to rise in your chest, unsure of what awaits you and Abagail. Rather than looking scared, Abagail shines her lantern in front of her to illuminate two people.
They're completely covered in darkness, but you could see the blurred movements of thrusting.
She's perched up on a table used for sewing. Her hands are collapsed around the man's neck with her legs open, letting him wildly hump into her. You can tell she's trying to be quiet, but with how relentlessly he's fucking her there's little no way she could silence herself.
The man takes notice of his now onlookers, his hazy eyes look up to lock with yours. His pupils are full blown wide, a near inhume look with how dark they are. Pitch black hair falls over his face that would've been unrecognizable if without the lantern.
You can feel your stomach flip, the gasp that gets caught in your throat. The eye contact never breaks even as his hands travel down her naked torso. He grips her waist and brings her closer. The sudden proximity makes her mewl, her head thrown back as moans leave her lips.
You shiver.
"Sir Nyryx!" Abagail shouts in a hushed tone. As if this instance is a common occurrence, she tosses you the lantern and makes her way down the remaining stairs and approaches the woman.
"Absolutely unacceptable!" She harshly rips the two apart, uncaring for the woman's complaints and the man's, whose name you learned is Nyryx, eye roll. Abigail bends down to pick up the maid's clothes, throwing it at her.
"Should I tell the head lady about this and she wouldn't hesitate to kick you out!" The mention of Meredith has the maid pleading, begging for mercy. "No! Abagail you wouldn't! I have children and no other house would hire me-"
Abagail waves her hand, quickly dismissing the woman's pleads. "And it's no wonder why. I don't have time to report you, we just acquired a new maid. You are dismissed."
The half-dressed maid curtseys to both of you and quickly departs. You have to avert your eyes to ignore how cum drips down her bare legs.
"And you!" Abigail speaks up again. Her finger is pointed to Sir Nyryx's chest. A smirk plays on his lips and he adjusts his lower sleepwear.
"And what about me?" He teases.
"I hate when you play smart with me!" She huffs and angrily stabs her finger in his chest. "I understand you have manly urges and whatnot, but that is no excuse for this behavior! You have a chamber for purposes like these. In God's name use it!"
Once Nyryx finishes adjusting his clothes he shrugs. "I did not think someone would be here this late. Let alone a new someone." He gaze looks to you then back to the person scolding him. "But I do wonder, did my behavior entice you? I was being a good lover, no?"
Abigail lets out a frustrated yell and smacks his chest. You gasp at the outburst, worried of what would happen. You fully expect Sir Nyryx to raise his hand, to slap her across the face as any other man might. Instead he laughs, eyes closed genuine satisfaction as he clutches his abdomen.
"You are so fun to tease Abagail," he smiles to her.
There's absolutely no reason for you to feel as jealous as you do. You have barely met this man tonight in a rather absurd way. Abagail doesn't play into his flirting, stomping angrily and on the verge of cursing at him. Still, there's a strange ache in your chest. You wish he would stop talking to her, stop talking all the women here in general.
You can't let go of the image of him fucking her. How impossibly deep how must've been inside for her not to notice you and Abigail walking in on them. His hips thrusting against her erratically, like he was close to finishing. She had already finished multiple times on his cock. You can see the stains on his trousers and the essence on the floor.
How lucky she was to have him all to herself.
Your thoughts are cut off abruptly when Abigail's shoves him out of the basement. He stumbles onto the stairs next to you, his eyes not shying away from your flustered expression.
Sir Nyryx takes in time passing you, his shoulders brushing against yours. A part of you wishes that he grazed his fingers against you instead. There's such an unbearable need to feel his skin on yours that it makes you want to reach out for him.
As if noticing you desire, he smirks at you. "Welcome home, new maid."
Abigail continues to berate him even as he ascends the stairs. You can't find it in you to turn your head away from him. Even his backside is beautiful to look.
"Pay him no mind. He thinks with the head in his trousers rather than the one on his shoulders," Abagail rolls her eyes as she speaks to you.
You should tell her it's not fine, that Sir Nyryx didn't bother you in the slightest bit. However, your mouth is utterly dry and you find it difficult to lie.
You nod.
Pleased with your answer, Abagail returns the nod and wipes her hands on her long skirt. She quickly puts on her friendly smile and ushers you to her side.
"Come, let's get you settled in."
a/n: I would like to formally apologize for the huge delay. I lost motivation and I hit a HUGE writers block. like I wrote this chapter halfway thru a while ago and I thought "how the fuck am I supposed to finish this?" so I stopped and waited for my creative juices to show...took longer than I thought. on a good note we met Nyryx again! no memories of the past ofc, and imma make him a flirt (as always) with some fuckboy tendencies, sorry. Meredith and Abagail are gonna have a lot of character change, but they'll play similar roles to the previous story if you're still reading this, im sorry :(
18 notes · View notes
Text
Wondrous Love
Referring to Lutheran Hymnal 543 of the A General Selection of the Newest and Most Admired Hymns and Spiritual Songs Now in Use. 2nd ed, made popular by Jean Ritchie in the 1940s
————————————————————————————
There is something hard to escape about memories. Especially when it’s the lake near our house, my love. I see other ponds, lakes and even occasionally the ocean and I can only think of our last moments.
There is something about the water that welcomes lovers, think of Icarus, Ophelia and Antinous. The water became their final resting place but also a memorial to their love in their stories. Icarus was wrapped up into the water as he fell from the sky and was offered safety from the burning sun. Ophelia had used the water as a means to show her devotion and love. Antinous was far more beautiful than any other monument on earth and only the water with its changing waves and tides could ever hold him for eternity.
We stood by the banks of the lake and waded into the cool water. I will remember that morning with the tears burning my already red eyes. My new white dress weighed me down as Juliet’s wedding dress kept her tied into her grave. Your hand never left my own until it was over.
The soft hum of the morning birds call out to us as you dipped your head beneath the water. As if from a distance as I watched your hand slowly slip from mine.
I had promised the night before, to hold your shoulders, not much unlike our first dance at our union. But this dance was more hallow, once your hand had left mine I waited to grab your shoulders. I took a deep breath as the water now reached my hips.
“To bear the dreadful curse of my love.” I whispered as your solemn face finally broke beneath the surface. You smiled brightly one last time, at least you did in my memories and I knew it was time for our final dance.
I waited by the weeping willow tree along the lake's edge, my legs soaked and cold. I had done what you asked but it had cost me everything.
I was empty and hollow and repeated “To bear the dreadful curse of my love.” As I headed back to our home and hopefully to a brighter future.
5 notes · View notes