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#os x support
terzosbignaturals · 5 months
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daily reminder than the papas' love for you would not in any way be dependent on you popping out kids for them
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mylittleredgirl · 2 months
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i was typing out a jokey post about how “i don’t play video games anymore because having the oldest possible usable apple laptop is the bitter nail polish of breaking that addiction” when i got an email from a group list of aging alums from my parents’ old community in all caps saying “mac users i need to borrow an operating system installation disc, must be 10.1 or higher” a disc? OSX????
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xylophonetangerine · 1 year
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What is it with Macintosh users and their weird insistence on continuing to use EOL'd versions of Mac OS?
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povlnfour · 4 months
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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ STUDY BREAK (OP81)
pairing: oscar piastri x f!student!reader
summary: oscar piastri is a formula 1 driver. y/n is an international relations student. her friends find her relationship pretty hard to believe. especially when she can’t tell them any details for you know… nda reasons.
warnings: main characters friends can be jackasses. mentions of international relations for any of my fellow bach survivors who shiver at the mention of the course
* faceclaim: scarlett leithold (but please imagine her as you see fit!)
yourusername just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf and 276 others
yourusername summer break you were fab
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yourbsf wow you took international relations literally huh
yourusername call it research
friend1 IS THAT A PRIVATE JET? IS UR DAD RICH RICH?
friend2 girlie where are you getting all this money from i know uni debt is killing you like the rest of us
yourusername rich boyf perks😙
friend2 this ‘boyf’ who we conveniently haven’t met?🤔
oscarpiastri just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 193,209 others
oscarpiastri good company, good racing🤙🏻
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user luv u oscar
user YOU’LL COME BACK EVEN STRONGER KING
user you seemed so happy today :’)
user ppl are saying he had a girl w him👀
yourusername cutie
friend2 your boyfriend seeing you comment on random celebs posts…🤭
texts with oscar *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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yourusername just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf and 300 others
yourusername term 1 you’ve been cute
👤 tagged yourbsf, friend1, friend2, friend3
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friend3 can’t believe ur not in lectures next week bc ur off to go watch cars go vroom vroom 🙄
yourusername gotta support my boy what do you want from me
friend3 sure jan
yourbsf first pic is HOT send it to me rn
friend1 tagged but not pictured… just like ur boyfriend
yourusername just posted stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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oscarpiastri just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 194,256 others
oscarpiastri race✔️ time to explore⏳
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landonorris oscar has rizz?
user your captions say so little yet so much
user HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND????
friend1 @/yourusername ur heart must be breaking
yourusername ????
friend1 he’s got a girllllll
user lando speaks for us all HUH
your group chat *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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yourusername just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourbsf and 361 others
yourusername bit of fun before back to reality :)
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yourbsf look cute who’s your photographer
yourusername os🥰
friend3 girl is the shirt meant to prove something
friend1 i am saying nothing other than ur cute (and delusional)
texts with your best friend *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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yourusername just posted a photo *ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourbsf, landonorris and 278 others
yourusername does it count as a date if it’s his full time job?
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friend1 girl… this may be going too far
yourusername literally what do you want from me ????
yourbsf i’m happy to be your third wheel as long as i get maid of honour duties
friend2 don’t encourAGE HER
yourbsf just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername and 410 others
yourbsf ode to my best friend and her boyfriend (ft. me) who are sickeningly adorable but cause me more stress than is worth it
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yourusername WHEN DID YOU TAKE THESE
yourbsf WHEN YOU WERE BEING ALL GROSS
yourusername also the pic of us is so cute🥹
yourbsf you weren’t kidding when you said the boy is a good photographer
your group chat ੈ✩‧₊˚
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texts with oscar ੈ✩‧₊˚
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yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf and 301 others
yourusername more from summer because i miss italy and i miss being trackside
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friend3 this was a weak attempt to convince us
friend1 bby… just confess it’s okay
oscarpiastri pretty girl
liked by yourusername
friend2 oh
friend1 huh. interesting
your group chat ੈ✩‧₊˚
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oscarpiastri just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by yourusername and 201,456 others
oscarpiastri graduation party or a chance to show off to her friends that i actually exist? who knows. proud of you baby🧡
👤 tagged yourusername, yourbsf, friend1, friend2, friend3
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user mr piastri i must confess my love for ur girlfriend
friend3 i humbly accept that i was wrong
yourbsf wish i could have taken a photo of their faces when you walked in lmao
user i love her already LOOK AT THAT SMILE
yourusername i lurv uuuuu
landonorris gross go back to being a secret
yourusername gonna make out w him in front of you
landonorris I SWEAR TO GOD Y/N. OSCAR CONTROL YOUR GIRLFRIEND.
oscarpiastri i’ll keep her feisty thanks
yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 3,409 others
yourusername a hot boyfriend who exists✔️ a degree✔️ a killer ass✔️
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oscarpiastri fun fact the last part is only one of my favourite things abt you
yourusername aw you’re so romantic os
oscarpiastri nothing but the best for you
friend1 i can’t believe he exists
friend2 i can’t believe oscar piastri spoke to us
yourusername said with all the love in the world, SUCK MY DICK
user i’ve only just been introduced to this friend group and i already love them
———
a/n: first oscar post EEEE
this was meant to be a lando one shot first but author is: in hospital, so i hope this is okay for now😭
taglist (found HERE): @iluvvmeeee @champagnelovers101 @alessioayla @idkiwantchocolatee @skatingiswalkingincursive @six-call @he6rtshaker @hobiismyhopeu @tallrock35 @sunflower-golden-vol6 @woozarts @minkyungseokie @vellicora @tsukishitm-a @lucyysthings
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genemains · 2 years
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Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb
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#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb 1080p
#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb install
#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb drivers
What I should have seen when BootCamp 3.2 update was running was a window to ask my permission to continue (allow the software to install). In my case, Win7 event manager reported that BootCamp 3.2 Services failed to install, in particular the KeyAgent service (and without that you get no Apple keyboard and functions and apparently the BootCamp icon doesn't show up in the system tray).Įvent Manager said the BootCamp installer did not have sufficient permissions, so I went to dial down the User Account Control (UAC) settings (in fact, I turned it off). I had the exact same problem, only on a 17" MBP. I have tried following the instructions that seemed to be the answer for this: Verify that you have sufficient privileges to start system services." "Service 'Key Agent/Mac HAL' (Keyagent/MacHALDrivers) failed to start.
#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb drivers
However I'm having difficulty installing the drivers, I had to first bypass the issue with the 圆4bit drivers by running it through CMD as admin but I get the Errors I recently reinstalled fresh Bootcamp (Windows 7 圆4) on my iMac running Yosemite. Pay attention to format bootcamp partition as NTFC as it is FAT32 not supported by windows 7! Pay attention to format bootcamp partition as NTFS as it is FAT32 not supported by windows 7! And follow the instruction on windows installation. Stick it to your Mac USB port and switch on your computer. Then copy all files from a windows installation image to it. A drive is subsequently assigned when the procedure is completed: With this chain of command, a new partition is created, then selected, activated and then formatted to FAT32. You can delete all existing partitions from the USB stick with this command: Now, identify your USB stick and enter the following command as a number (instead of "#"): With this command you can display the list of drives. In order to use DiskPart, open the command prompt as an administrator and then follow these instructions:Įnter the following command in the CMD window: So use any windows computer and make bootable USB as described: It means that bootcamp did not make USB bootable as he promised. To translate from English to simple English: Your USB is not bootable. Just read carefully what is written on black screen! I'm open to ideas, I have trawled all over the web and no-one seems to have the same problem as I do."No boot disk found.
#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb 1080p
I have had no real sucess in the audio drivers, I am using Ethernet (writing this post on my Hackintosh) and as I have NVIDIA, it works in 1080p and it is smooth but as I'm booting in safe mode, the scaling animations are laggy. I have checked this multiple times and have always checked that the Chimera v4.0.1 is always checked which it is. I have used MultiBeast, installed the recommended drivers from other users who posted on here as well. I used to have to boot using 'GraphicsEnabler=No' but that is no longer needed.
#Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb install
So I boot from the USB I used to install and everything works fine apart from me having to add the '-x' boot flag for it to boot without freezing. I've installed Yosemite and all the features work brilliantly, only that when I come to start my machine using the HDD that Yosemite was installed on, I get an error about Windows error due to recent software changes. Building a CustoMac Hackintosh: Buyer's Guide
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tonkiwebsites · 2 years
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Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb
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Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb how to#
Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb mac os x#
Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb drivers#
This, and a variety of answers on the subject, indicate inconsistent support for this format at this point. The system goes into kernel panic and crashes disgracefully. I am unclear whether this has to do with the difficulties I had mounting it read/write on OSX, but after deleting a certain number of files using Linux, I was never able to mount the drive again on OSX. However, Windows doesn't allow you to specify a block size when formatting a UDF volume, and as a result, your logical block size might differ from the physical block size for the partition. UDF drive formatted on Windows 10: mounts read/write on Linux, read-only on OSX.UDF drive formatted on Linux: can't be mounted on Windows 10.UDF drive formatted on Mac OS: can't be mounted on Windows 10.
Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb drivers#
I use Ubuntu for development and do need Unix-style permissions.Īll former guides do not apply anymore: UDF drivers have evolved and all operating systems will accept a UDF partition, with more problems and instabilities than I can name. I am using OSX Yosemite, Ubuntu 14.10, and the Windows 10 technical preview for enterprises on a Mactel machine (Macmini 7,1). Script to format the disk properly: Perl script or Bash script
Supports large files, UNIX permissions, Unicode filenames, symlinks, hardlinks, etc.
Can be used read-only in Windows XP, and be used after a command line mount in Linux 2.6.0+.
Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb mac os x#
Mounts automatically read-write in Linux 2.6.30+, Mac OS X 10.5+, Windows Vista+.
Some testing shows that this really works on Linux, Windows and Mac OS X: The nice thing is that UDF does not (I suppose deliberately) use the first few kilobytes of the partition or disk it is placed on, so this place can really be used to store a legacy partition table, referring to a partition that spans the whole disk. Partition editor programs seem to refuse to create such a table, but at least recent Linux and Windows kernels don’t seem to bother. However, it seems possible to construct a partition table whose first partition starts at sector 0, so the result is a partition which contains the partition table itself. Typically, the first partition specified will start some kilobytes further. This master boot record is stored in the first sector on disk, sector 0. Rather surprisingly, there is a solution which works for both: having the disk partitioned and unpartitioned at the same time.ĭOS partition tables are stored in bytes 446-510 of the master boot record. On the other side, UDF only works in OS X when it is used on a full disk (unpartitioned). Mac OS X 10.5 supports UDF fully up to UDF 2.01, but only when used on a full disk, so not partitioned.Īs explained above, for USB harddisks, Windows requires the disk to be partitioned. Linux 2.6.30 and up supports UDF fully at least up to version 2.5. Windows 7 have full support up to UDF v2.6, but the UDF block size must match the block size of the underlying device (which for USB-sticks and most disks is 512 bytes "advanced format" disks are 4096 bytes). Here are his findings (used to be there, now offline):
Os x yosemite 10.10.2 bootable usb doesnt support fat32 usb how to#
Someone did some research into how to format a flash drive with udf so it can be used on as many operating systems as possible.
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thisismeracing · 6 months
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Mó paz | LH44
SOCIAL MEDIA AU
― Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x brazilian!reader (she/her) ― Warnings: curse words, mentions of food, typos (not proofread). ― Summary: It's time for the Interlagos GP and fans are excited to see how Lewis' Portuguese sounds after becoming a citizen AND dating Yn. ― A/n: Shout out to @queenshikongo3 for suggesting this piece. 🤍 ― A/n:² none of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps. everything else is made up by me, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛
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✷ my masterlist | my taglist here | patreon masterlist ✷ Support my writing by reblogging, and leaving me a message 🤍 ✷ Consider buying me a coffee if you liked it or subscribing to my patreon for exclusive content!
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yn
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liked by patriciaramos, danielricciardo, and others
yn México te amo, pero yo extrañé mi hogar! 💚 (Mexico, I love you, but I missed my home)
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carlossainzssy Charles is their kid, and in this essay I will- ☝🏻
ferrarifinesse Thank you for sharing the Charles pic, YN!!!!!
lewishamilton te quiero! 😘 (I love you!)
 ⤷ popyn the way he always say's he lovers her using the language of the week's Gran Prix, I- I wanna be loved like this!!!!!!!!!!!
mercgoldenyears not George following lewis like a lost puppy/lost kid, I actually love them sm omg 😂
 ⤷ yn but he is our grid kid! <3
 ⤷  charles_leclerc what about me???
 ⤷ oscarpiastri and me?
 ⤷ landonorris I don't exist???
 ⤷ yukitsunoda0511 I'm feeling betrayed
 ⤷ mickschumacher So am I!
 ⤷  yn lewishamilton please help me here, the kids are fighting
 ⤷ lewishamilton sebastianvettel help, seb!!!
 ⤷ redferrari16 this is so funny LMAO
mirrorballeclerc the matching yellow aesthetic pic, they're truly soulmates 😭💙
lewishamilton
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liked by seujorge, charles_leclerc, and others
lewishamilton Mais uma volta para casa 🇧🇷 (Another homecoming 🇧🇷)
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brunamarquezine 💚💛 bem vindo de volta!!! (Welcome back!)
44brcitizen I am the happiest person, I actually never had a sad day in my life, I can't remember ever struggling, or whatever, life is beautiful! 🌷🌸🌻💐
monacoocon The Brazilian flag is actually so pretty, I'm always mesmerized
yn 😍😍
⤷ 1dformulaone yeah, babes, that's your man (I wish it was mine, with all due respect KJDSGKJDSG)
mercedesamgf1 💜💚💛🤍
georgerussell63 vamos! 🇧🇷 (let’s go!)
⤷ sassyrussell Carmen wrote this, I just know she did 😂🤍
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*the first story says "She's writing new songs".
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lewishamilton
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liked by brunamarquezine, lilnasx, and others
lewishamilton mó paz! 💚
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badgalriri 😍😍😍❤️
linikeroficial amo amo amo! (I love love love)
missionfortyfourr mó paz means to be in peace, chilling, serene
⤷ mercmickie and the fact that the song talks about being at peace after he came into her life, that he's there to stay, that her life's different now?!!?!?!?!? I AM SOBBING
lewandyn she's so pretty, so smart, so talented, so perfect ughhh 🩷😭
⤷ lewishamilton yes, she is ❤️
⤷ norrizzlando your honor, he's in love!
interlagostrack LINDOS, PERFEITOS, DONOS DE MIM!
yn Te amo muito, vidinha 💗 (I love you sm, my life!)
⤷ lewishamilton te amo, meu amor
⤷ russellrain "meu amor" alguém por favor, me ajuda, eu desidratei de tanto chorar (“my love” someone pls help me, I just dehydrated from crying)
⤷ totolobo TE AMO, MEU AMOR DSKGJDSKJSKDHJ
roscoelovescoco I’s love’s you!
princessyn Stream Mó paz on spotify!!!!!!!!!!!!!
carmenmmundt 🩵🩵🩵
franciscac.gomes lindos! 🥰🤍
yn
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liked by exudoblues, georgerussell63, and others
yn Que dia incrível cantando com os amigos em casa, e que noite perfeita celebrando com eles! Amo vocês 💘
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sunnysainz we all know who she was looking at in the first pic hehe
tsunodaangel Omg, I love them so so much 🥲
lewishamilton 🤩😍😍
lewishamilton caraca, foi incrível!!!
⤷ charleslehoe he's officially Brazilian now!!!!! LOL
patriciaramos a mulher mais linda do Brasil!!! (The most beautiful woman in Brazil!!!)
⤷ yn te amo, paty! (I love you, paty!)
swiftieyn why haven't we got a collab w xnda yet?
⤷ yn you sure you haven't? 👀
⤷ schumachersbike OMG OMGDKJSDKJG
seujorge 💛💛💛
ricciardosmile 🎶 bom que cê chegou pra ficar pra sempre, com você mó paz 🎶
carsgoingvroom the "existe amor em sp" reference *cries* (it means "there's love in SP, it's a reference to a song that says that there's no love in Sao Paulo)
⤷ braziliangp how about the quote??!?!!? I melted (if the sun doesn't shine tomorrow I'll use your smile to light my day")
⤷ mickcedes omg you guys thank you sm!! I was struggling with my A1 and translator LOL 😅
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― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, besties! I hope you guys like this piece! Don’t forget to leave me a message/ask and follow me if you did *mwah*
Consider supporting me by buying me a coffee if you liked it or subscribing to my patreon for exclusive content!💘
©thisismeracing do not copy, steal, or translate my work. do not repost on a different media platform.
Taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @fdl305 @saintslewis @scorpiobleue @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @crystals-faith @peachiicherries @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @soph1644 @cixrosie @darleneslane @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @goldenalbon @skepvids @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji (quick reminder to enable visibility so I can tag all of you guys properly ❤️)
― reblogs, comments, and asks are extremely appreciated, make sure to leave yours *mwah*
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coco-loco-nut · 16 days
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Look for the Light
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Best Friend!Reader
Summary: You are Oscar’s best friend, but when you get sick, how is he going to cope
TW: cancer, death, grief
You will probably cry, I did while writing it at 3am
Based off of the song from Only Murders in the Building
requests are open! masterlist
———————————
Being Oscar’s best friend was the best thing you had achieved in your life, and you made sure the both of you knew it. You grew up a few houses from each other and from the moment you both met, you were inseparable. Spending your childhood on the beach, playing and having adventures of a lifetime. He never minded going to explore with you, especially the lighthouses, they fascinated you. The silent call, the notion of looking for safety, looking for the light. Oscar adored that about you, it’s why he always wanted to spend time with his best friend.
That didn’t stop when Oscar started karting, in fact, you were his number one supporter. As his career took off, he never missed a chance to hang out with you, nor you with him. Some of his friends back home throughout the years teased him about your relationship, but both of you knew that there was nothing more to it other than the tight knit bond, once that was more akin to siblings than romantic.
It was one early fall weekend that you both were on the beach, near your favorite lighthouse when you collapsed. It shifted your worlds forever. Oscar became more reserved and you spent more and more time in the hospital for treatments.
It was cancer, caught early and quickly curable, plus, you were young and healthy, at least that’s what the doctor said. That’s what you all thought. The doctor was right, at least the first time.
You stopped going to his races, falling out of the racing world’s eye, but the bond between you was stronger than ever, especially as his career took off even more. When you ended up in treatment for the second time, he was even more determined to spend time with you. Even now, he sits by your bedside watching a race. He looks at you closely, your skin losing some color and the adventurous spark dimmed in your eyes.
“I love you, Y/n. I’m scared, I can’t lose you,” Oscar admits one day. You both knew what he meant. You are basically his sister.
“Os, it’s ok. I am too, but we gotta be brave,” you choke a little, tears welling in your eyes. The spark in your eyes has all but dimmed out, you find it harder to get through each day.
Oscar is getting his first real shot at F1, but he doesn’t want to miss a moment with his best friend, the one who he has vet every girl he’s dated, because if anyone knows him best, it’s you. The one person he can keep private from his public life, he can hide your pain and suffering from his crazy world.
“It’s not fair,” his eyes well up. The air is thick, the looming darkness has been settling in, the both of you don’t want to acknowledge the truth of it.
“Oscar,” your frail hand grabs his. “I love you, you are my brother, my closest friend, and I am incredibly grateful that you are in my life. Now, adventure is calling, so go and be brave,” you give him your best smile, not wanting to waste his F1 Australia debut, in Melbourne nonetheless, worrying.
“Y/n, I’ll wait by the shore for you,” he says, and you squeeze his had tighter.
“My love is a lighthouse, look for the light,” you whisper. He glances at the clock and with a heavy heart leaves the room to go to the track. Socials think that he is just going charity visits this week since he is home, but the man is so reserved even Lando can’t get him to talk. He calls every night, and you demand to have the races on while you write in your notebook.
Your family is in the room with you, you had taken a turn for the worse overnight but you didn’t want to worry Oscar, not when the race in Melbourne was today, not when you knew what it meant to him. You finished the poem you were writing as there were ten laps left, the strength to write leaving you.
Your mom tried not to cry as she took the notebook and pen from you, your dad slipping beside you in the bed, holding onto his baby. Your mom called Oscar’s mom, who immediately picked up, knowing what the mid-race call meant.
“It’s time. She wrote to Oscar, and I don’t think she will make it past his media right after the race,” your mom chokes out, tears flowing as she hangs up and gets on the other side of you.
“Look Mom! Oscar is in the points, he made it to P8,” you smile at her weakly, your dad filming your reaction to Oscar crossing the line, but he quickly stops it when your monitor blinks irregularly. A nurse rushes in, having talked with you and your family about this moment earlier in the morning. She pushes medicine so you will be able to step into the light without pain, without suffering.
“It doesn’t hurt, I promise. Tell Oscar I love him, and thank you for every moment. I love you both, thank you for choosing me as your child and loving me forever. I will love you beyond my last breath. Look for the light. Will you sing the song to me?” You ask your mom, tears streaming down your face with a small smile.
“Hush little one, let me sing you to sleep. Moonlight has come so drift off to a dream. Sail from the day to the wonders awaiting you out there, in the deep. Off little one, chase the wind on the wave, adventure is calling so go and be brave. But if you get lost as your tossed in the dark of the sea, look for me,” your mom sings the haunting lullaby, watching your breathing slow. On the TV, the camera pans to Oscar celebrating with his team. Your eyes glimmer with happiness for the last time.
“No, baby, no,” your mom pleads, your dad pulls you tighter into him. With the last bit of energy you can muster, you squeeze their hands as your eyes close and a shuttering breath leaves your body. The screams of a mother can be heard over the flatline. The nurse unplugs your machine as another makes a phone call to Oscar’s mom, something you asked a while ago privately, knowing your parents would be too distraught. The nurses follow your wishes with heavy hearts.
———
Oscar gets back to his driver’s room with a large smile on his face, having just celebrated with the team and gone through media. The first thing he sees is his Mom’s tear stained cheeks and he drops his helmet.
“No,” he whispers.
“She’s gone, Os,” his mom cries, pulling him into a hug. His body wracks with sobs. Lando sees the two and quickly leaves, having intended on congratulating his teammate, but now going to inform the team that Oscar won’t be doing press. Lando wasn’t sure what happened, but he knew it had to be personal and that was enough.
“She’s not gone, she’s not,” Oscar says after a minute. His mom wipes a tear off and looks at him with a mix of pity, sorrow, and compassion. “NO,” Oscar yells, his grief taking over, he slumps on the couch, sobbing more. The light house trinket you gifted him years ago sits on a table, a glint of sun shining off the top, as if to provide a comfort, a goodbye.
“I’m sorry. She asked me not to talk you it got worse last night. Her mom called during the race to let me know,” his mom says gently a few minutes later. Social media buzzes as pictures of Oscar’s tear stained face as he left the paddock spreads and speculation grows, but he stays silent.
The funeral is quick, small, near the beach that is home to your favorite lighthouse. It’s more of a memorial, your family having chosen to go with a closed casket burial because you didn’t want to be remembered in that state. So here Oscar is, outside Cape Otway, sitting on a rock, your unopened letter in his hand. It’s two pages, and he hasn’t had the strength to open the folded pages. He looks at the sunset, it’s rays washing over him. The ocean seems to tell him to open the letters.
Oscar,
Words cannot describe how proud I am of you. My best friend achieved his dream, what more can I ask for? More time? No. It’s odd, writing a letter about my own death. I can only assume how you feel. I’m sorry that I left you, but I never truly did. I’m in the light, I went peacefully and painlessly, surrounded by love. The sunset you see, the stars shining on you, a ray of sunshine bouncing off of something, that’s me. Don’t wait forever by the shore for me, you don’t need to weather each storm, standing by until I return. I will always be with you. Don’t be afraid to grieve, share my light wherever you go, keep me with you and alive in spirit. I love you, my best friend and brother.
Your lighthouse, beyond my last breath,
Y/n
Oscar moves your letter behind the next, his eyes looking at the poem, this one’s writing significantly harder to read. Your weak state evident in the messy lines, but it’s perfect to him.
Os- I finished the lullaby, find comfort in it when you miss me. Look for the light
Hush, little one, let me sing you to sleep
Moonlight has come, now, drift off to a dream
Sail from the day to the wonders awaiting you out there
In the deep
Off little one, chase the wind on the waves
Adventure is calling, so go and be brave
But if you get lost as you're tossed in the dark of the sea
Look for me
I will wait at the shore for you
I will weather each storm standing by 'til
Safe, you return from the night
My love is a lighthouse
So look for the light
The light
I will wait at the shore for you
I will weather each storm standing by 'til
Safe, you return from the night
My love is a lighthouse
So look for the light
The light
Oscar sniffles, carefully pocketing the papers. He pulls out his phone and watches the video he hasn’t dared to open until now, the one your father sent to him, a smile gracing his face as he sees you cheer as he crosses the line, but it drops as he hears the beeping before the video cuts. He looks up at the lighthouse for a minute, taking a picture for his personal memorial, before returning home. He changes his helmets to include a lighthouse, refusing to put one on that doesn’t.
The drivers and the McLaren team notice a shift in the driver when he appears in Baku. Lando takes it upon himself to try and get information from Oscar but fails. Instead Oscar turns to Pierre, Mick, and Charles.
“Her name was Y/n, she was my best friend, my sister. She died shortly after I crossed the finish line in Melbourne,” tears sting the young drivers eyes as he lays out his grief to the two drivers who know his pain better than anyone. Mick encourages Oscar to share the good, not the illness. It isn’t much, but the driver’s spirit has lifted a little bit, and the four agree to share their grief with each other more often, finding a healthy outlet with each other.
Lando only praised his teammate for his strength when asked about that Melbourne day, and reiterated that private matters were just that, private. Shortly after talking with the other three, Oscar sat Lando, Andrea Stella, and Zak down and let them know the basics of what happened.
“I’m sorry man, I didn’t even know you had someone that close to you,” Lando put a hand on Oscar’s shoulder. Oscar looks at the sunset with a sad smile.
“It’s ok, she’s here,” Oscar says, a hand over the lighthouse on his helmet.
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oscarpiastri 2 April 2023 • I will wait by the shore for you, look for the light
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rtofbs · 1 year
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astrology notes 3: fixed placements edition
note: these are my personal observations based on the people around me, take what resonate, feel free to add your own observations.
Leo Suns as parents tend to give a freedom to their child and I feel like this is because they want to give the child a space and time to work on their individuality and developing their Sun qualities (self-esteem, vitality and general creativity) Leo understands the importance of a healthy ego and core individuality that will support their child in the future as well as they understand that it's crucial for a child to move from the comfort of the Moon to the creative and boss energies of the Sun.
Leo Moons are forever child at heart even if they are over 50 years old, they strive in these care-free and joyous energies, love to receive and give the attention, and I've noticed this is true even with one of the toughest Sun placements - Capricorn.
Capricorn with Leo Moon is like a soft bear who is very tough on the outside, but is very sweet and affectionate on the inside. also I've noticed that Leo Moons take their hobbies very close to their hearts, same goes to Moon in 5th. when playing with other people, they might get competitive as fuck.
Moon in Scorpio are one of the sweetest people: attentive and caring, very focused if the person is feeling good and comfortable, they can get very anxious to ensure that the person is feeling good to the point it's very cute. I might he highly biased here as my Venus in Scorpio loves LOVES lOvES LoVeS Moons in Scorpio. Moon in Scorpio also respects the privacy of other people as they want their privacy to be respected since they've experience a lot of privacy and boundary violation in childhood.
Tauruses no matter what is the Venus sign are very good at spotting beauty and know best how to make things beautiful, and they in general appreciate the beauty and comfort around them, and they might be very artistic from the very young age, and sometime get clingy, especially in childhood. Taurus vibes to me is: comfort, money, good sleep, food, relaxation, their fashion, skin-care, routine, sex, and again sex, relationships, convenience, consistency, stubbornness, calm confidence, and care.
in general Taurus placements are prone to being very conservative to the point of using very old versions of the OS in their laptop as they know it works best for them, and even if they realise that the new one might be better, but they are still attached to what they are used to. Taurus placements in general they have their own speed of doing things, but Moon in Taurus comes first of being very slow to changes and they need time to prepare for things and occasions to come.
Mothers of Moon in Taurus can be very controlling and dominating but they will give the child the financial prosperity and ensure their child have some stuff in their possessions: like some property.
Taurus x Scorpio axis gives me the vibes "let's make love and make money" 🥰
Sun and Moon in Aquarius love to tease people, especially with other Scorpio placements. they are funny sometimes to the point of being socially awkward, but always happy if people can have funny banter with them. if you want to know if the person with Moon in Aquarius feels good about you, then observe how they behave with you: the weirder it gets - more comfortable they feel themselves around you.
Mercury in Aquarius art definitely leans towards some absurd and grotesque stuff, and might be difficult to grasp the genius of their verbal creativity, but it's doubtlessly unique as they have their OWN way of expressing their thoughts.
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lamnwar · 2 months
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Hey me again, lmao
Could you do Kiyoshi + Gom as husbands, If so thank youuu xxxx
Hi there, love! 💕 love love love this request!! I spend all my time daydreaming abt being married to these boys LMAO it's embarassing 😭 alsooo ik I took long before getting to your request but I wanted to finish all the big os requests first before working on hcs bc it's more heafty so sorry for my shitty habit of taking too long for simple stuff :((
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HAPPILY EVER AFTER // KNB Headcanons
Context: what I imagine married life to be with these characters. 🥰
Pairing: GOM + Kiyoshi x gn! Reader (gender not specified)
Warnings: mainly fluff and crack, can get a bit suggestive in Aomine's (of course it's always him 😭) so mdni!
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AKASHI
Rich, handsome and a gentleman!!! Literally the Holy Grail of husbands
The kind to spoil his pretty spouse out of love
Takes you out on a date at some fancy restaurant at least once a week
He's also very independent!! Now, I think he's the kind to hire people to help around the house but that doesn't stop him from doing chores
He'll always help you doing stuff for the house if you need
He has amazing taste!! Take him furniture shopping and you'll end up with on of those houses you see in AD
Brings up the subject of you dropping your work so you can stay home while he's the breadwinner
He's a bit traditional in that sense because he really doesn't want you to work if it's unecessary, you know?
I mean he's crazy rich so does that even make sense to make you work?? (Unless you absolutely want to)
Wakes you up every morning with a kiss!
He always had the proudest smile when he introduces you to people as his spouse <3
MIDORIMA
TREATS YOU LIKE A ROYAL OMG
This man takes marriage very seriously, listen
He most likely did a deep analysis of your birthchart before deciding that you are the right one for him
Naturally, as your husband, he gotta get you your lucky item of the day everyday
You don't even believe in that stuff but it's his love language, I guess
Not much one to go on dates unless you want to, then he'll be up for it
He's more one to enjoy time with you at home
Something like having a nice diner and cuddling while you read
The kind to love going grocery shopping with you
Every once in a while, he'll buy a fancy bottle of wine just to share it with you
A very supportive husband!! Every project you have in mind, he's already done the research to find the most efficient way for you to accomplish your plans
Not a PDA guy but he'll happily hold your hand when you're at gatherings together
May not be very vocal about his love for you but you better believe that he talks proudly of his spouse to every one he knows
KISE
He is OBSESSED with you
Man never left the honeymoon phase, he's so crazy about you
Takes you to his fancy modelling events and shows you off to every one he meets
He also buys you lots of clothes and acessories
Dare you say something is cute, he's already inside the shop buying it for you
Tries his best as chores but it's not really his thing
Will help as much as he can, though!
Breakfast in bed kind of guy hihi
And it happens a lot because let's be real, that man isn't the kind to let you sleep at night
Like I said earlier, he's never left the honeymoon phase so... yeah
Wants to be the kind of husband that gives you his credit card and tell you to do what you want with it but you have to decline
It's ok though, he'll fine plenty of other ways to spoil you
You have that cute habit every week of taking baths together
The kind to miss a day of work to take care of you when you're sick!
AOMINE
Daiki never thought he'd ever get married, but then he met you
Not the best at being a husband but he really tries!
Like he makes an effort of not being too lazy and messy
Leaves the chores to you mainly, but will give a hand
Like if you're cleaning around and need to put stuff on the top shelf, he'll do it for you
Not the best cook so he lets you make food while he does the dishes
I'm trying to delay the obvious but that man never stops being horny for you
Literally sits and daydream of fucking you on every surface of your home
Gets so riled up at the sight of that ring on your finger, he can't believe your all his
The kind to follow you everywhere you go, even if it's for some stupid errand
Takes you out to the beach or for a picnic as soon as the sun is shining outside
Buys you clothes he thinks you'd look good in and surprisingly, he's got amazing taste
Loves when you refer to him as "husband" in conversation!!
MURASAKIBARA
So casual about being married, most likely because to him that doesn't change a thing about the way he feels about you
Likes that now he gets to have you with him all the time
Cooks for you! Buys you snacks! Takes you out on restaurant dates!
Sharing is caring so he only ever shares his snack with you
I can see him being into matching outfits (if you can find any that fits both him and you)
A bit lazy so he doesn't help around that much unless you tell him to
And even that, he'd do some chores before getting distracted
But listen, it's ok though because he makes up for it in over ways
He's very caring, only because you're his spouse
Cuddles in bed, at all time! He just feels clingy sometimes
He smiles softly when he plays with your hand and sees the ring on your finger
He likes to sit you on his lap often
Basically being a husband doesn't differ much from how he was as a boyfriend
Very casual about calling you his spouse all the time, even in front of others
KIYOSHI
Kiyoshi Teppei was born to be a husband!!
Because he grew up with his grandparents, he's got the habit of taking care of a household and the people living in it
So he naturally took in most of the chores and he's good at it!
Doesn't want you to get tired either so he'll do most things
Pays attention to all the little things so you're always comfortable
He also likes going for a run/the gym with you and he's so encouraging!
Has the stupidiest smile on his face everytime he looks at you
He holds his grandparents as a reference so he really hopes you'll both grow old together, still madly in love
Don't get that man started on building a family, he just gets too excited at the idea of being a parent!
He'd be a great one too, but the final decision is up to you. Either way, he's just happy being with you.
I don't know what else to say because he's just made to be a husband, yk?
Yeah, probably the best person to marry <3 (I'm very biased)
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jade-jini · 7 months
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STUDENT COUNCIL MEMBER! YUNJIN X LITTLE MENACE READER HEADCANON
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Genre: fluff. Childhood best friends, not exactly romantic yet but there’s something there -
Warning: none bro. Reader is lowkey golden retriever puppy coded, don’t blame me-
Had in mind a spicier thing for Chaewon but first I wanted to do my first one about my girlie<3 but I’m still gonna post wonie’s one later. Might want to turn it into a little series of os in the same universe.
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-You guys are actually childhood friends.
-Used to play together and go into feral mode, very energetic kids.
-Whenever you guys got hurt during one of your adventures, you would always clean each other’s tears and get a bandage with cute designs. That, plus little kiss in the affected zone and you were as good as new!
-eventually tho, when middle school ended and high school began, Yunjin started to become closer too with other kids (the fimmies) who were rather well mannered, so she eventually toned it down a bit until she became such a model student that they all became the student council.
-I mean she looked happy, and you were happy for her fr, and it’s not like you guys stopped talking. You just missed your partner in crime from time to time tbh. You have feelings too Cmon.
-You’re not actually a bad person, as some might think because of the amount of times you’re sent to detention. (Even some of the big intimidating kids like you and told you if you ever have a problem they’ll beat the sht outta people wheidjfod cute).
-And you’re not trying to create problems for yourself nor others, it’s just your excess of energy sometimes makes you be a little impulsive and don’t stop to use some reasoning.
-Like that time that your friend and you got into a heated and serious argument about the best gummy flavor since they kept saying green and you were like ??? Freakin green when blue and red exist???
-One thing lead to another and you ended up causing a food battle.
-Worth it tho ‘cause you
-1. Got supported by majority and red flavor (PAPA-PALGANMAT) won. And
-2. You got sent to the principal’s office who decided your detention would be in the student council’s office.
-Which meant you could spend some time with Jen and also the rest of the girls.
-GOING BACK TO THEM.
-They do actually like you, specially Eunchae, who was their youngest member.
-She likes how carefree and energetic you are and sees you as one of her role models like the rest of her older friends (even when chaewon tells her not to)
-Chaewon, as the student council president, of course has a liiiittle bit of a love-hate relationship with the cute little menace who can’t seem to get tired of running around school creating chaos nskdndjd. Here here.
-She’s always scolding you.
-And Yunjin too, when she gives in and joins you in your antics.
-She‘s never mean, she does it ‘cause she cares for her best friend’s other best friend and for her school.
-Sometimes tho, she might get a little too intense, and lowkey hurt your feelings without meaning to or realizing.
-But Yunjin and Sakura always remind you is with 0 bad intension, she just gets too much into stucon pres mode.
-Y’all are cool tho.
-now for the actual main topic of this Lmao
-Having a best friend in the student council actually be having its advantages hsjdnckd
-Since you seem unable to stay away from trouble, you often have Yunjin to your rescue.
-whether it is to talk to the professors, or even the principal!
-She always convinces them to not give you heavy punishments that might seriously affect your record.
-And she always gets you out of detention early.
-Except when you stop her from it for two reasons.
-First is ‘cause you’re having fun with the actual bullies in the detention uenrdjfn. Making jokes or talking about stuff you guys like. She just looks at you like “…Are you serious” and everybody just looks at her and shrugs, The Office style.
-And second is when your detention is in the student council office, then you stay there with her.
-Initially she tells you to be quiet and work on your class work ‘cause she has to focus on the papers on her desk.
-But then you start talking to her with the excuse that you need help (bs Ofc)
-Then the classwork questions turn into small talk
-Then that small talk goes into intense talk
-And you guys are just being loud making jokes and just laughing together while throwing paper balls to each other.
-Until Sakura or God forbids Chaewon tells you guys to stop playing around and finish both your work for class/ stucon responsibilities.
-Her mom still adores you. To her, you’re still just that energetic kid who would always bring a big smile into her dear daughter’s face.
-Her dad tho-
-Listen he doesn’t hate you but he doesn’t exactly LIKES you neither anymore bdjdndk
-He’s just protective with his kid and doesn’t want her getting into trouble. He’s never too mean or anything but sometimes (specially when it comes to his ears that you got in trouble again) he might make comments that aren’t exactly nice.
-But Jen’s mom is always there to defend you from her husband tho, and after a short awkward moment, things are ok (for now at least).
-Her uniform always ends up a mess when she lets go of her calmed self and you get a glimpse of her old self.
-It’s still there, and it’s not like she’s pretending to be somebody she’s not. She is who she is.
- “People grow up and change a little, it happens to everybody. Even to you.” She said. And you know it’s true. And you’re ok with it. Getting a little nostalgic about your childhood together is not a bad thing. And again, you guys are still good friends and you love and appreciate each other, even if you grew up to be slightly different (or maybe not) people.
-Seriously if it wasn’t for her who knows where you’d be right now, at juvenile or something. Get yo sht together bro.
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spidernuggets · 3 months
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Jason with 24. "Trust me, she's not all sunshine and rainbows".
Jason Todd x Fem!Reader
"Trust me, she's not all sunshine and rainbows"
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Every step closer your ex made, you took a smaller step back. Jason was about to intervene when the ex yelled out a string of insults, 'whore, pathetic, slut', but he seemed so impressed when you grabbed him by the nose, telling him that he shouldn't have said that.
You met Jason somewhere in town in the midst of you breaking up with your ex-boyfriend. When Jason first witnessed it, said ex was yelling at you, and you seemed to be cowering at his harsh words.
He was even more impressed when you kicked your ex in the balls. He was then kneeling on the ground, clutching at his groin in hopes to ease the pain.
When you started to walk away, Jason noticed how down in the dumps you looked. What kind of gentleman would he be if he didn't help bring up your mood.
"Hi, I'm Jason. That was a pretty sick performance to watch," is how he introduced himself as he ran up to you.
Slowly, the two of you started to form a close bond of friendship. And even slower, romantic emotions started to blossom between the two of you.
With Jason's grouchy, sensitive, and tough persona, you perfectly matched with your contrasting personality, being all bubbly and supporting, and in Jason's eyes, incredibly angelic.
Jason believed you deserved so much better than him, especially when he revealed his secret occupation. He believed that with his short temper and aggressive morals, you would lose your love for him in the blink of an eye.
But you didn't. When he told you that he was Robin and a member of the Titans, he saw that little shimmer in your eyes whenever you thought something appealed to your interest. You told him you couldn't believe you were dating a badass hero.
Now that Jason told you his identityz he wanted to teach you proper self-defense. He knows you can take care of yourself, but he's just so paranoid. He wanted to make sure you were 100% safe while he's out patrolling. And you admired his worry for your safety.
But when the two of you were in your apartment, training, he motioned a slow punch towards you, just to demonstrate the action, you pivoted to avoid the fake punch, grabbed his arm and tackled him, pinning him to the ground.
He stared up at you in disbelief, catching him off guard.
"I win," you cheekily said. Jason sighed, sitting up, giving you a soft kiss to you forhead.
"That's my girl, you win," he said, playing along with your little game.
A little later on, you thought that since Jason revealed his secret, you can too.
You sat him down and told him that you weren't part of some major superhero team or got some professional training. You just picked up self-defense as a hobby. But alongside that.. you were good with knives. You had great aim, great control.
And then you showed him your collection. You have sai daggers, butterfly knives, pen blades and more.
Jason couldn't believe it. His seemingly sweet, innocent girlfriend owned a knife collection. But this didn't scare him. He was beyond ecstatic. You allowed him that if he needs them any time, he can use your knives in combat.
So, Jason taught you more of his combat skills, teaching you how to fight, even while blindfolded, in exchange for you to allow him to use your collection.
While you were watching the news (just wanting to see your boyfriend in action), you had a thought. Jason always talked about his missions and his time with the other Titans. You really wanted to meet them.
"Can I meet your friends, Jay?" You sweetly asked him when he came back from a mission. He looked at you with discomfort. He knows that the other members don't really think highly of him, and he doesn't want them to give you any bad words about him to you. But you assure him that nothing they say os ever going to make you stop loving him, and you give him a sweet kiss to seal the deal.
When you arrived at Titans Tower, it was obvious you were excited to meet everyone. Dawn and Kory already had a liking to your sweet personality, and Rachel believed that Jason probably paid you or something to date him.
You complimented Gar's wild hair, and he smiled, thank you, and feeling giddy about making a new friend.
Jason gave you a tour around Titans Tower, and you thought it was amazing. He left you in his room to look around, and it was easy enough to say that you were mesmerised.
Jason left you there, going into the kitchen to grab a drink.
"So, that's your girlfriend, huh?" Hanks chimes in, walking in with Dick.
"What of it?" Jason bites back.
"He didn't mean anything by that," Dick says. "She's just very... opposite to you. And that's not in a bad way. She brings out the best in you, Jason," he explains.
"She's real happy," Hank says, popping open a beer bottle, taking a swig.
Jason shakes his head, looking down, smiling from just thinking about you. "She is, but," he pauses, thinking about how to explain your alter ego, "Trust me, she's not all sunshine and rainbows," he says, walking away with his brew, leaving Hank and Dick in a confused state.
"Wanna check out the training room?" Jason asks you, leaning on the door frame, smiling at you as you were seated on his motorcycle that was in his room.
You vigorously nodded your head, excited to see anything that had a blade in there.
You gasped when you entered. "You guys have katanas!?" You exclaim, and Jason's heart melts at how cute you are.
"Of course. If you want, I can grab one for you," he offers. You grab his cheeks and pull him close.
"I can marry you right now," you say, almost dead serious.
Jason's face heats up, imagining what his future would be like with you. He couldn't deny the fact that he'd picture you as his wife, in a house that belonged to the two of you... maybe a kid or two running around, too.
"Can we spar?" You ask.
"Sure, c'mon, feisty," he says, grabbing the wooden swords from the rack. You admired how good the quality was.
Rachel and Gar came in, planning on sparring.
"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt your date night," Gar jokes as Rachel elbowed him in the side.
"We'll be quick," Jason mutters.
Dick was supposed to observe Gar and Rachel sparring, and Hank was tagging along, and they were both surprised to see you in a stance with a sword.
"Woah, careful with that. It's wood, but it hurts more than you-" Hank was quickly cut off by Jason.
"She knows, dingus," he snips. Hank just rolls his eyes, taking a spot beside Dick, who was intrigued by what was about to happen.
"Ready?" Jason asks you as you nod.
As you started fighting, all for Titans were surprised to see how well you can manoeuvre your stances and how well you avoid Jason's strikes. And especially how well you know how to use a sword.
But it doesn't last long as Jason bends down to avoid your attack, kicking you off your balance, having you topple to the ground. He disarms your sword and finally pins you down.
To others, it seemed that Jason's final move could've hurt, especially to a normal citizen, and also based on how brutal Jason's way of combat can be.
But you weren't hurt. Jason always makes sure you're never hurt. He let's go as you sit up, your eyes displaying that same sparkle of admiration.
"You're so skilled, Jay!" You cheered, giving your boyfriend a rewarded peck on the nose as Jason smiles.
The two of you hear someone clear their throat, breaking you from your love induced trance. You turn your heads to see Dick, Hank, Rachel and Gar, all with their arms crossed, judging your affection-filled situation.
You two awkwardly stood up and you rubbed the back of your neck in embarrassment.
"Uhm.. Thanks for letting me use this room. Oh, and I really like your katanas and odachis, I would love one for my knife collection," you blurt out, quickly walking out with a beet-red face.
Wait, what? Collection of what? The four thought they heard wrong and couldn't believe someone like you would have something as bizarre as a knife collection.
Jason sighs and puts the two wooden swords back, wanting to follow you.
"Not all sunshine and rainbows, huh?" Dick lowly says to Jason as he puts away the swords.
Jason chuckles to himself, thinking just how lucky he is to have met someone like you. "Yeah," he mutters.
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foone · 4 months
Note
So Warframe added a "Pom-2" Alternate 1999 computer (that's needed for weird void magic future science wizardry). Thoughts?
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Only thing I have that's a sort of question mark is that I don't know of many setups that would have needed a 5 1/4" floppy in 99 (or why it has both the tower and the under monitor unit)
ugh. OKAY, so... the tower and desktop combination is just weird. I have, on one occasion, run a "server" that was two towers, and the original PC supported a DUAL-DESKTOP mode, but both types together? nonsense.
dual monitor was rare but possible in 1999 (win98 added native support), so I think the best interpretation here is that this is actually two computers. maybe the one on the left is missing the keyboard and mouse because it's being used as some kind of server for the other computer? I used a little case like that to run my first linux server, which was also acting as a router for my internal network.
The OS is weird. The icons above the menu-bar look like win98, the dialog box is windows 3.x, the menu-bar icons on the bottom are pure os X (although they remind me of like a web-TV kinda system, like hotkeys for email/internet/etc), but the greyscale is very classic mac system. Actually it kinda reminds me of C64's GEOS, but GEOS was very classic-mac.
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Like most CRT-filters, they turned the scanlines up WAY TOO HIGH. No CRT I've ever seen looked that fucking terrible. The monitor buttons are a bit odd: You didn't get monitors with buttons on the front until long after they were all color... but maybe it's a color monitor that's showing a monochrome OS?
as for the floppies: yeah. There are multiple mistakes here.
5.25" in 1999 is just silly. If you still had 5.25" disk drives in 1999, you were intentionally doing some retrocomputing stuff. For reference, around 2001 my PC repair job would specifically ask me to copy data off 5.25" disks, because they didn't have any 5.25" drives anymore, and I was their only tech who did.
The other mistake is that they have THREE floppy drives. so the PC doesn't really support that, natively? You can do some tricks and make it work (The youtuber Tech Tangents did a video on how it could be done), but realistically two was the normal max.
The final mistake is that all the drive activity lights are on. Those are only supposed to be on while the drive is reading or writing... and I don't see any disks in those drives! Let alone a situation that would involve turning all three on at once (I don't think that's even possible on most floppy controllers!)
In fact, the main time you'd end up with the drive lights stuck on like that is when you've installed the drive cable upside down. That ends up with them getting stuck on and non-functional. So this computer looks, to me, like it was put together incorrectly and no one noticed.
I don't believe that font would be on a black & white retro computer. Nope. Too smooth and too big.
There's also a USB icon on that OS: I don't think there's ever been a monochrome OS that supported OS, and looking at that computer case I don't believe that it has USB. Maybe the tower would, but the desktop? no.
That keyboard is off a Gateway 2000 computer. Something like this:
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delulu-archives · 6 months
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Love Me Lights Out (Jeon Wonwoo x Reader)
Wonwoo shook the planet with his iconic MAMA 2019 entrance — blue hair, red robe, dark evil gaze, and soul-crushing voice. He held a different type of power that day, holding you like putty in his hands in total surrender.
His possessive side was on full display when a certain someone got a little too close to you during the intimate and private after-party.
This can be read as stand-alone fic but this happened within Love in Vinyl universe/timeline. I highly recommend you give that a read. 💜
Note: Wonwoo x producer!reader, smut, explicit smut, dom/sub themes, AU, established relationship, penetration, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, overstimulation, multiple big Os, unprotected sex, fluff, unedited, 18+ Series: Love in Vinyl Inspired by John Mayer's rendition of XO.
Ready for it? 'Cause I am. Dear reader, here is the next part of our Love in Vinyl series. Thank you for giving your love to LIV, darlings. Who wouldn't love to see Wonwoo's possessive side? Shameless, explicit smut, everyone. Some dom/sub themes, reader was weak and whipped for Wonwoo's gentle dominance. Plus some tooth-rotting fluff bonus ending. 😌💜 Yuletide and In the Soop 2 shots coming soon, darlings.
I pour my blood, sweat, tears, and delulu dusts to write this. Please help me protect my work while reaching more delulu darlings who may find escape here, too. 💜 Word count: 7,360 Cross-Posted on AO3
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Your love is bright as ever Even in the shadows Baby, kiss me Before they turn the lights out Your heart is glowing And I'm crashing into you Baby, kiss me kiss me Before they turn the lights out Before they turn the lights out Baby, love me lights out In the darkest night I'll search through the crowd, Your face is all that I see I'll give you everything Baby, love me lights out Baby, love me lights out We don't have forever Baby, daylight's wasting You better kiss me Before our time has run out Nobody sees what we see They're just hopelessly gazing Baby, take me take me Before they turn the lights out Before time has run out Baby, love me lights out I love you like XO You love me like XO You kill me, girl, XO You love me like XO In the darkest night I'll search through the crowd, Your face is all that I see I'll give you everything Baby, love me lights out You can turn my lights out
Manic. That's always your answer whenever junior producers ask you what awards shows are like based from your experience.
That year, you expected it to be different in various ways. 2019 was the year when K-Pop continued growing its footprint and reaching global scale, one group at a time. The year changed the trajectory of how k-pop was perceived and received especially with western audiences, and you saw it first hand.
Over the past six years, you had always been present behind the scene with BTS as they painstakingly conquered these awards shows, culminating their effort and hardwork during such tedious times. You shared tears and joys with them, especially during MAMA 2018 when they gave such powerful reminder on how tough the industry could be. Hoshi and Seungkwan even shared with you that they were fighting back tears especially when J-Hope started crying during the speech. You knew how much Seventeen could relate to BTS and you also saw how BTS also supported Seventeen during their starting years, given that their roots were alike - both groups were self-made, both were their respective company's saving grace. 
BTS used to practice in dank, murky practice room that was often flooded, while Seventeen used to tape regular earphones so they could have make-shift in-ear monitors during their first performances. Both groups conquered those adversaries, started from rock bottom and climbed their way to the top with Blood, Sweat, and Tears. You could not be more proud to see those groups you love shine in one stage once more. 
-
December was for awards shows and both sides of your coin were busy with their respective performances, with BTS ending their last leg of Love Yourself tour and Seventeen ending the first leg of their Ode to You tour. 
You were just supposed to just be in the audience that day, hoping to just enjoy and watch the show without working. You were excited to watch their performances after seeing glimpse of it during rehearsals and you really needed your break already. 
You requested the month off few months before, knowing just how restless the year was for you as part of the creatives team of these groups. While your job was mainly around their variety contents and documentaries, supporting touring groups also meant you were flying across the globe when needed, too. Apart from that, it was already apparent that the acquisition would be made formal and official the following year - it was long time coming. You already assumed backlash would happen and as someone who already faced such with BTS alone, the artists' welfare was always your top priority. Business decisions would be made, but you were determined to ensure that Seventeen would feel even more at home with your plans for the following year. You knew that the creatives and think-tank would be required to work twice as hard to ensure that contents and shows would be even grander both for the artists and the fans. 
Your supposed break during MAMA 2019, however, did not come into fruition. You received a call from one of BTS' senior producers a week prior and pleaded you to cover for him during the show to film and produce the behind the scene of the show for BTS. The producer had to take time off as his wife had to give birth prematurely and you did not have the heart to deny the request. So, you brought your work stuff along with you and flew to Nagoya two days prior the show without telling your boyfriend that he might just see you spinning in the backstage.
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Your call time for the show was at 7:00 AM. With various performances, it was pivotal to have everyone around and ready before the rehearsals and pre-show shoots commence. 
You arrived just in the nick of time, already huddled with your assigned camera directors and assistant producer to discuss how things should run. You spent the whole night reviewing the production guide sent to you and polishing it with the timelines of that day's show so there would be smoother coverage and to avoid causing too much distraction during the busy day. 
BTS arrived an hour later so they can prepare under their make-up chairs while the show floor directors were instructing everyone. You remained quietly hiding on the side, typing away and monitoring the footages being taken by one of your cameramen. Once the show's PD left, finally revealed youself earning a booming scream from Hoseok who was shocked to see you there. The team held you one by one, saying they missed you as the last time they saw you last was early October. 
"Happy birthday, WWH!" You greeted when Jin entered the dressing room after washing up. 
"Woaaah!! What are you doing here? Are you here to film? Waaah, you can't make me do silly things today it's my birthday." The man exclaimed, followed by his windshield wiper laugh and gave you a quick hug. 
Your presence was always familiar so being there was business as usual, seven years and counting. 
-
Wonwoo messaged you a little later saying that they were already on the way to the venue and that he was excited to see you in the audience. You spent the whole night talking on the phone with him thinking your flight was in the morning of that day. Little did he know, you were already in the venue working your ass off.
Nothing can ever match how loud Seventeen is. When they arrived, everyone knew it was them, hollering in the background as they greeted everyone with such bright, contagious energy and entered their dressing room across BTS'. 
You excused yourself from your team so you can greet your other family, silently walking towards their dressing room, index finger on your lips to shush the others who saw you to stay quiet as you approached your blue-haired man leaning against the door frame. He was busy typing on his phone, eyes still heavy as he rubbed them while yawning. Your phone vibrated and a messaged flashed on the screen.
"We're here, baby. See you later."
You held back a chuckle. Finally standing behind him, you answered his message by muttering a cheerful, "I know."
Wonwoo turned in a flash, eyes widening and hand covering his mouth when he saw you standing there. "Woah!" 
"Good morning, babe." Wide smile painted your face at his reaction.
"H-how?" He inquired, heart fluttering at your presence as he held your hand and pulled you inside the dressing room, waving at the other members who were also surprised you were there.
"Had to cover for a PD due to an emergency."
"I thought you would be in the audience!" He spoke softly, shoulders drooping slightly when he finally engulfed you in a tight hug after a week of not seeing each other.
You just chuckled when he asked you a week prior why you did not book the same hotel as them, and you just made up some silly excuse saying it was for the whole 'audience' experience. They were in the same hotel with BTS and some other artists, and you were just in the hotel a block away, essentially cooped up in your room to avoid running into anyone of them before your surprise. 
"I missed you. I am happy you're here."
"I missed you too."
You returned his hug and stole a quick peck on his lips while everyone was busy. "I'll still be in the audience once you're on stage." You winked at him and his heartthrob smile widened as he let you go. 
"I'll look for you in the crowd, baby. I'll have my eyes on you alone."
He smirked.
Dangerously.
-
Seventeen was part of the last artists to perform, with only two performances between them and BTS. It gave you ample time to get a camera so you can go where the camera directors in front of the main stage were and watch Seventeen's performance, as promised.
Shivers ran down your spine at the chilling entrance, even when they hadn't even started the performance yet. You saw them rehearse couple of times, but somehow, everything felt new. The crowd went wild with ear splitting screams when the music finally started. 
It was a dark opening, hooded figures in red with one person on the spotlight - Wonwoo. Despite his robe, you could see his broad shoulders and notice the way he ascended the stairs with such a different vibe and aura especially when he pulled down the hood, revealing himself.
You saw that in rehearsals, but somehow you were taken into another world. His eyes were cold as ice, staring sharply into the audience as he bit and crushed the candied rose. He held an intense gaze as he devoured the intro with his deep, raspy voice, officially opening their ensemble. 
Wonwoo captured your attention throughout the whole performance effortlessly, even meeting his eyes from time to time as he smirked at you. You were helplessly drawn to his magnetic aura and familiar warmth and sensation filled your body. He was scrochingly and devilishly handsome as they broke the stage.
When their performance ended, Wonwoo saw you backstage gave you yet another salacious smirk as he retreated to the dressing room.
Such power he held over you.
Two bottles of ice-cold water did nothing to quench your unexplainable thirst.
-
To say that you were on an emotional high during the show was an understatement. You were ecstatic over the wins of BTS and Seventeen, quite teary even, because you had seen just how massive their successes were which were all very much deserved after their years and years of hardwork. Then, you were blown away by their performances, and of course, your boyfriend's stage presence.
After the award show, Jungkook and Mingyu hosted and organised an intimate and private party, and BTS, SVT, and only very few other groups and colleagues were there. 
After freshening up in your hotel, you arrived at the luxurious and private roof deck bar where the party was, donning a simple black dress and a pair of comfortable heels. It was rare for them to see you all glammed up, given that as a PD, you were constantly in sneakers and comfortable clothing so running around was easier. Wonwoo could not wipe the smile off his face upon seeing you all dressed up for the party, as if mesmerized by you.
BTS, Seventeen, and some of their friends mingled and drank merrily. Jungkook and Mingyu were goofing around like bunch of kids. Yoongi and Woozi were talking about music looking like twins. Joshua, Jeonghan, and Seungcheol were with Taehyung and Jimin catching up while the others were chilling or catching up with the staff members. It was a joy to see them like that, even Wonwoo was laughing around and comfortable with them.
You noticed however that birthday boy was quiet in the corner of the banquet. Being an introvert, Jin had always found social gatherings quite daunting, just like your boyfriend. 
While Wonwoo was busy with his members, you joined Jin by the corner of the banquet hall, drinking your second glass of margarita that day. 
"Why are you not socializing? It's supposed to be your birthday." 
Jin just shook his head and laughed, saying it was not his forte. And you understood that. You spent some time catching up with him until Jimin approached you, pulling the two of you to the floor to dance. 
"I am so tired, Jimin.." you complained but the man just smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist. 
"Just one song!" He insisted, twirling you around. 
Jimin always had that flirtatious flair with everything he does. It was not as though he was flirting with you blatantly, but he always liked making you blush for sure. 
"I heard you have a boyfriend, Y/N." His full lips curled up into a smirk as if pleased to have caught you off guard.
"Why? Were you surprised?" 
"Mhm, you could say that. You denied me once before." Jimin teased, reminding you of his attempt to woo you years back, and it made you throw your head and chuckle. 
"We were too young then."
Jimin just smirked and nodded pulling you closer as you danced with your other friends before you finally freed your self about a minute or two later.
From a distance, though, Wonwoo was intently observing at how Jimin was looking at you, and he did not like it at all. His gaze was poisonous, lethal, even.
-
You joined the group where your boyfriend was and he immediately looped his arm around your waist and drew you against his side as if showcasing that you were his. 
"Hi love," he mumbled, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead which took you aback. He never was that comfortable doing that in front of others before, but you could not deny that the bold gesture made your heart flutter.
"Hey. You drank a lot already." 
"No, not yet." He smirked down at you, his attention solely on you as he rubbed your back gently. "You having fun? Or are you tired and want to go home?"
One of the many things you love about Wonwoo is that he is always sensible. He has always been sensitive about how you are feeling because he pays attention to you and somehow naturally senses how you feel. 
You smiled up at him and pressed your body closer to him.
"Maybe we can leave earlier? You had a long day." He added, tucking a strand of your loose hair behind your ear and caressing your face. Such unusual gesture from him, especially in front of your friends and other people though they were busy. At one point however, Wonwoo shifted his gaze and you were in the right mind to follow its direction. That was when you finally realized it - Wonwoo was looking at Jimin who was watching the two of you, and he was asserting his edge on the situation. Your boyfriend's innate possessive side got triggered with how flirty Jimin was with you earlier, one thing you should've considered sooner.
"I'd love that." You answered, wrapping your arm around his back as well, as if a silent reminder to ease the building storm inside him.
Few moments later, you had to excuse yourself so you can go to the empty ladies room, only for Wonwoo to tail behind you quietly.
Wonwoo stood up from the leaned position he was in against the wall as he waited and walked up to you when you left that bathroom. He placed his hands on your shoulders slightly and pushed you playfully back inside, guiding you into a cubicle, locking the door behind you as he snaked his hands over the fabric of your dress, placing his forehead lightly against yours.
"Hey! We might get caught!" You shushed, looking him with wide eyes as your knees wobbled from his gentle teasing.
"Don't pretend like you don't know I've wanted to get you alone since this morning." He whispered softly as he placed a trail of kisses over your skin, from your cheeks and down your neck before capturing your lips in a searing kiss. "And it seems like it's not just me who wants you." His voice muffled against his demanding kiss which made you melt against his arms which were looped around you possessively.
"What are you talking about?" 
"Come on, babe. You know what I am talking about." He growled under his breath, chasing your lips for more when you started pulling away slightly, pressing your hands against his chest.
"Baby. Babe... listen."
He just gave you a cheeky smirk, chuckling at the worried look on your face as you wiped your smeared lipstick off his lips.
"Hm?"
"Wonwoo."
He arched his brow, "What?" 
"It's too risky here!" You basically pleaded, arms wrapping around his shoulders, caressing the back of his neck. Nodding and surrending, he pecked your lips hard one last time before pulling away.
Wonwoo understood. Despite being open about your relationship among your friends and colleagues, your number one goal was to avoid any rumour or scandal especially that you were not within your private space where you can do anything you want.
"I'll go first. You need to fix your lipstick." He teased, opening the door of the cubicle for you.
"Yeah, thanks for that."
You rolled you eyes and watched him check the corridor to ensure the coast was clear before leaving you in the ladies room and returning to the banquet.
Releasing the pent-up breath you had been holding, you fanned yourself and looked at your flushed face and messed-up makeup from the mirror.
You were unsure what your boyfriend consumed that day that made him ever brazen. 
Maybe it was the rose. 
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After trying your best to retouch post the encounter in the bathroom, you joined the group, sitting beside your boyfriend who was already yawning. One by one the people were already dispersing so Wonwoo took that opportunity to say goodbye, and you also did. You greeted and hugged everyone, including Jimin, who held you a little tighter as if trying to provoke Wonwoo even more with his playful antics. You knew it was nothing but you pulled away and shook your head at him. 
"Let's go, Y/N." Wonwoo held out his hand and twined it with yours, and, despite the stern expression of his face, gave Jimin a courteous nod.
One of their managers and a security personnel were assigned to drive you back to the hotel where they were staying, and you were really impressed by the level of security and privacy hotels like that offered. 
"We need to book another room, I share with Mingyu." Wonwoo spoke when you settled inside the car. 
You smirked at him, waved your spare keycard, and gave it to him. "Done."
You somehow expected this even before the show, so you also paid for a room reservation online a day before your arrival, and checked in a few things there before going to your other hotel. You checked out of the hotel you stayed in and transferred some of your belongings to your room in their hotel before heading to the party that night. 
Smirking in delight, he took the keycard and leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, "That's my good girl."
-
You entered the hotel separately with him guided to his room by his manager and you going straight into yours. You gave him the spare keycard anyway in case he decides to visit you, which you were looking forward to, if you were being completely honest. 
When you entered your room, you quickly went to the bathroom to run the hot water for a much needed shower after that long day of work. 
You turned the shower on and adjusted the setting, running your hands under the cascading water to check the temperature. Almost immediately, your whole body ached to feel the soothing warm water and you even hummed in excitement. 
Turning to undress, you jumped upon seeing your boyfriend by the door of the bathroom, eyes dark and wanting as he watched you. 
"What the hell, Wonwoo! You'd give me a heart attack!" You exclaimed, clutching your chest while he only grinned at you. 
Mischief and danger hid behind that smile he gave as he locked the bathroom door and stood behind you, meeting your gaze in the slightly fogged up mirror. 
"Let me help you with that," He mumbled under his breath as lips hovered against your skin when he took the clasp of the necklace you were removing form your hand. 
All the while, he was staring intently at you, his usual warm almond eyes were sharp and a lopsided smirk tugged against the corner of his lips. He was teasing you, playing with fire and fuelling yours. 
He reached behind you and placed the necklace on the countertop, bracing himself against the cold marble and caging you in between his arms. 
Then, he crashed his lips against yours, roughly, like he never did before.
Your knees were weak and as if under a spell, you were in complete surrender, wrapping your arms around him when he tilted your head by your chin and plundered your mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss and making you want more. 
Whimpers left your lips when he sucked your lower lip then pulled away with a loud smacking sound. 
"Take your clothes off for me, baby." He ordered, stepping back and watching you. "Go on, don't make me wait.
Those words coming from such perfect face and deep voice, were hypnotizing enough, making you obey without a word. Still looking at his eyes, you fiddled the hem of your dress and peeled it off, leaving you in your matching light blue undergarments. 
"Seems like you've been waiting for me all day, too, love." He growled at the sight of you in his favourite colour, seizing you against his body before and tracing kisses down to the valleys of your breasts and then towards your lips once again. 
"Now be a good girl and undress me." He mumbled against your lips, not letting you go as you unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his body. Then, you worked on his belt, button, and zipper, letting his pants pool into his feet which he quickly kicked away.
He shoved you inside the glass partition under the shower head with your body glued together, his lips finding purchase against your skin, making your core throb with a familiar ache. 
Wonwoo pinned you against the cold, tiled wall and snaked his hand inside your panties, feeling your wet, warm core as his middle and ring fingers circled your sensitive nub. He was eager. As if wanting to prove something with his sudden brute force.
"My needy girl... so wet and I haven't even done anything..." 
"W-wonwoo -" You stuttered, gripping against his biceps trying to steady yourself from his sudden teasing.
"Who are you this wet for, Y/N?"
You whimpered when he paused, making your knees buckle and thigh press together. 
"Baby please..." 
"So needy..." He growled, using his other hand to dip and pull a cup of your bra, and then sucked your taut, aching nipple. 
"S-shit!"
"Mmm."
You quivered, eyes closed as you tried keeping your pleasure at bay, which was impossible when his fingers started teasing your slit with gentle strokes towards your clit.
"Look at me in the eyes and tell me who this is for..." 
You met his lustful gaze and gulped, "Y-you." 
"Say it... say who makes you shiver with need." He licked his lower lip as he pressed his fingers against your pulsating clit. He was enjoying his power play, you could see the way his eyes darkened as you shivered from his relentless teasing.
"Wonwoo... you Wonwoo... Please."
"Yeah... I am the only one that can make you this wet and needy, right?"
"Yes, just you..." You nodded eagerly, closing your eyes and crying out as he went down on his knees, ripped your panties, and finally devoured your aching, dripping core as water cascaded against your bodies. 
"My good girl... don't hold back, baby, let me hear you." 
He did not need to tell you. Moans and whimpers left your lips at his expert teasing, sucking and licking your sensitive bud. His tongue lapped at your core, tracing your entrance repeatedly and then drawing figure-eights against your clit while pushing his fingers inside you, curling and searching for that erogenous zone that always made you squirm in pleasure.
His moans were muffled against your sex when your climax coursed through your body quicker than you anticipated, making you nearly lose your balance as you cried out his name.
"Fucking hell..." You slurred, catching your breath and steadying yourself from the sudden outburst of pleasure. 
Wonwoo looked pleased - he had his proud smile when he rose and kissed you, squeezing your ass and pressing your close to him. 
"We're not done yet." He said with such ease before ever so casually reaching for the shampoo bottle and started washing your bodies as you came down from your high. 
Wonwoo lathered your shower gel against your body in the most sensual, teasing way possible. His hand glided through your skin, massaged your breasts and tweaked your nipples, and caressed down to your stomach, your core, and your aching limbs. Every second was intentional seduction, keeping you on the verge with desire.
He allowed you to do the same, palming his whole body down to his hard shaft, pumping him up and down with your soapy hand which made him twitch against your touch until he could take it no longer. He rinsed your bodies with such urgency and once done, pushed your naked body towards the room and the bed. 
"Sit." He commanded. Droplets of water trickled against your skin from your still soaked hair as he stood before you and as you pat your body with a towel, then squeezed water from your hair. 
He took the towel from you and threw it away, then grabbed your hair to force your head upwards when he leaned in to ravage your mouth with ardent kisses.
Need once again simmered inside you and you reached out for him, wanting to feel him closer and relieve whatever ache he was causing. He drew away and stood in between your legs, his shaft standing long and hard in front of you. 
"See what you do to me, Y/N?" He asked, holding the back of your head as you looked up at him and nodded. Your mouth watered at the sight of his beautiful, perfect cock all erect for you. Your core throbbed, needing him so bad.
"Let me see what your pretty little mouth can do."
You normally know what to say but seeing his dominant side made you tongue-tied. While there were rough encounters since your first time, Wonwoo rarely talked in such a manner. He was always a man of few words but eager actions, even in bed. He rarely even cursed but he seemed to do whenever you were in the throes of passion. This time showed a side of him you were already becoming drawn to, evident with the way you seem to surrender under his control so easily.
Eyes peering at him, you licked his polished length from base to tip, running your tongue around the bulbous head of his sizable cock. You slowly took him deep inside your warm mouth, eliciting a loud groan from him.
"Fuck, that's my good girl..." He moaned, looking down at you and pushing your head further down his length so you can take him deeper. "More baby... let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours..."
Carnal desire awakened inside him when he saw you like that, both hands gripping the base and massaging his sacs, as he hit your throat while you bob your head up and down his needy cock. Your eyes watered as you gagged, but it only seemed to further entice him. He tightened his grip on your hair as he increased the pace, your eyes still focused on him as you heed his commands. 
"You look so good taking me like that, letting me fuck your mouth... ah such good girl." He panted for air, hips thrusting one last time before pulling away. Watching you wipe your mouth, he beckoned you to stand and kissed you before turning you around to face the bed.
"On your hands and knees for me, baby." He mumbled, lips brushing against your ear as he shoved you flat in your tummy back into the bed.
In a blink, you were on all fours in the middle of the bed, heart racing and eagerly ancipating his next move, until a loud, hard spank landed on your ass sending you reeling forward from the impact.
"WON - ah!" 
You yelped at the tingling sensation, both pain and pleasure present at the unexpected action, making you bury your face against the cloudlike pillows. Your mind was still processing the flicker of pain and pleasure, when the bed dipped and you felt fevered kisses against your shoulders, tracing down to your spine, and towards your still numb and tingling rear. 
Wonwoo kept complete focus on you and your pleasure as he parted your knees and his tongue swirled and danced around your clit, feeling you move against him as he continued to bury his face between your thighs and grip your rear. A few more teasing motions with his tongue against your pleasure spots, he dove his tongue between your folds, exploring the depth of your core as your essence ran down his mouth like an addicting nectar. His forcefulness built as he pulled you closer towards his mouth, earning whimpers of his name to escape your lips, muffled by the soft sheets you were biting into.
"I want everyone to know you're mine." He stated again as he continued to taste you against his tongue, fingers stimulating your core until you were trembling once more.
The pleasure and his eagerness were slowly driving you over the edge, getting closer and closer to that glorious climax... until he pulled away.
"Wonwoo fuck!" Intense ache throbbed inside you at the unfulfilled bliss that was still at bay when he hauled you once again, yanking your weak body until you were on your back. 
Wonwoo grinned down at you, running his hand over your body, tweaking your nipples while the other thumbed your engorged bundle of nerves.
"Won- hurts... mm... need to..." You arched your body against his touch as needs boiled inside you, aching for that high only he can provide.
He watched you so weak for pleasure under him, but he wanted so much more. He lifted one of your legs and placed dove-like kisses on your shin and down to the inside of your thighs. You jolted.
"Please... baby..." 
"What do you want?" His lips hovered on your navel as he looked up at you. "You have to tell me..."
You swallowed the tears pooling in your throat, trying to hold out as much as you can, "I want... need you to... make me cum... please..."
He smirked. "That's my good girl." 
Wonwoo dove to your core once more, fingers slipping inside your soaked cave and began to massage your sweet spots as his tongue continued to flick in quick motions against your clit. He would only be satisfied until he felt you shaking and making a mess of the silk linens that adorned the bed. His eyes looked up at you overcome with pleasure, a view that he would never tire of. 
"Oh, baby... please mm.. so close..."
Your sounds of encouragement was music to his ears as you wriggled at his actions, feeling your core seeping with excitement over his fingers and dripping down his knuckles as he kept his consistent pace. Your legs delicately wrapping around his broad shoulders built anticipation as he craved to watch you explode in pleasure once more. 
"Give it to me, baby." He growled, stroking that velvety spot inside your walls eagerly.
"W-WONWOO —" 
You wailed and convulsed as a ferocious orgasm rocked through your body, the extent of your bliss filling you from head to toe. 
"Holy... fuck!"
My good girl... you came so hard..."
Wonwoo filled your face with kisses as you came down from your high, hovering over you in between your thighs and wrapping them around his hips. He shifted the both of you to your side facing each other, with his arm supporting your head safely. He eliminated the space between your bodies and kept your legs around him, gripping your rear as he kissed you fervently. 
"You're mine." He declared, staring intently at you and caressing your face. While his eyes were still dark with lust, you saw a twinkle of affection and unadulterated emotions behind them that made your stomach flutter.
"Say it baby... that you are mine and no one else's."
"I am yours, Jeon Wonwoo. Only yours."
He smiled at the certainty in your voice. There was never a doubt about it, but Wonwoo always loved hearing you say it and you always loved reminding him. Unable to wait any longer, he kissed you, lined himself in your heated entrance, and sank in deep.
And raw. 
For the first time ever. 
You nearly lost your mind. 
You never thought making love with Wonwoo could be any more indescribable, but here you were, feeling every ridge and friction of his perfect manhood as he stretched and filled you raw over and over again.
"Fuck so tight... my sweet pussy... mine..." He crooned in his euphoric state, eyes closed as he gripped your rear and bucked, pushing himself impossibly deep inside your hot core. "You're mine, Y/N...just mine... Jimin can never have you... no one else can... mine..."
You drew away slightly to watch him, pondering on his words until you realized it. There was jealousy in the mix. While it has been a while since your last intimate encounter leading to pent up needs, his possessive side was also on an all-time high that day, hence, the dominance and the power play. It sent electric shock to your core watching him take you and hold you possessively - his eyes closed, brows knitted, and lips agape. He looked so good it should be illegal.
"I am yours, just yours Wonwoo." You whispered and kissed him lovingly, pouring out your emotions in that exchange. His pace increased as the slapping of your skin, the squelching of his cock, and the sounds of your groans and whimpers created music against the night. 
You were in sync - mind, body, heart, and soul.
"I will fill you up so good, baby." 
"Ugh yes - please... fuck me..."
Wonwoo savoured the feeling of your hot, velvety walls clamping around him without barriers as he hammered into you. His fingers buried against the soft flesh of your rear, squeezing you hard as he guided you to meet his every thrust.
"You want it, baby? You me to fuck you... full?" 
His words were broken up between lowly moans against your lips as he pressed his forehead against yours, his hips slowing down and sensually rolling so he could feel every inch that he filled inside of you. His thrusts became slightly rougher as he pounded himself inside of you deeply, as if carving every inch of your walls as his. "Will fuck you so good baby... fill you up..."
Your body arched, revelling at the feeling of his huge length inside you, earning a loud moan as he took you wholly. He watched you lean back and as you did so one of his hands gripped your breasts, pinching and pulling on your erect buds while he wrapped his lips around the other, suckling and wanting to satisfy and please you as he picked up the pace. 
"Wonwoo... I'm... ugh—" He landed another harsh smack against your ass sending a zing of pleasure straight to your core. 
"Go on, baby. Be a good girl and make a mess for me." He hushed as he trailed open mouthed kisses against your neck and jawline and then your lips, tongue delving inside your mouth. 
Wonwoo jerked his hips, pulled away completely and then breached your walls again. Hard. He flicked your clit with his fingers and orgasm blasted through you, scorching every single cell of your body.
You moaned his name, again and again, clinging onto him as his flesh continued ramming inside you while your walls molded around him tighter and tighter with your release.
"One more, baby. I want more." Wonwoo stiffled against your skin, as he bit and nibbled the sweet spots on your neck and collarbone. The feeling of your walls around him skin to skin, was like a drug to him, or a craving that he never knew he had all along making him greedy for more. 
"Fuck... c-can't baby." You whimpered, high and overstimulated as he captured your lips in a passionate kiss. 
"Yes you can. For me... yeah? Come for me once more... you can do it, baby."
Wonwoo purred, pushing you on your back, your hips propped up on a pillow as he knelt caged between your thighs and impaled you once more with a hard, determined thrust. Your drenched core coated his cock, making it even easier for him to glide in and out of you, no matter how tight you were. The in-drawing sensation of your pussy was driving him insane. 
Sheen layer of sweat coated your bodies as you both panted and trembled, your legs wrapped around him and your nails raked against his back while he slammed his hips vigorously, urging both of your release.
"Fuck... my good girl... mm... gonna fill you up..."
"Won- "
"Mine..." He cupped your face and tilted your head so you can look at him in the eyes as he pummeled into you. "I love you... so much."
"Yours, yours... I love you so... much..." You whispered in between puffs of air, tears rolling against your cheek as he snapped his hips faster and rougher, making you cry louder. "Want your -"
"Yes, yes, baby... my good girl. You want me to cum?" He asked, nuzzling and groaning against your neck as you squeezed him in, a foretaste of your impending orgasm. "Tell me.. tell me you want me to cum..."
"I want...you...to cum for me..." You mewled. 
"Yes, yes, yes!"
Wonwoo kept his pace until his hips stuttered and his cock swelled deep inside you, painting your walls with his thick, hot cum, wailing your name as his body collapsed with the mind-numbing pleasure. Your walls pulsated around him, clamping him in and milking every last drop of his release as you let him bask in his orgasm. "Yes, baby. Take it... Take my cum..." Wonwoo grunted drunkenly, feeling you so close to your release and when he buried his cock deeper with his remaining strength, you finally erupted with a loud wonton cry of ecstacy, toes curling and body shuddering under his weight.
"Wonwoo! Fuck yes! Fuck baby—" You weren't sure how it was possible, but your climax was even longer this time, all-consuming and earth-shattering and Wonwoo felt it rocking through him as you spasmed around him. 
"That's it, baby...that's it..." He stiffled against your skin, fingers working on your clit as you surfed the wave of your climax, until you both came down from your glorious high, fully spent and satiated.
Wonwoo kissed you gently as he pulled away, cradling you in his arms softly, protectively when you whined at the empty feeling. "I love you so much... so good to me... let me take care of you, baby.." You could only hum and smile against the kiss. 
You weren't sure what was happening few moments later - you were sore, overstimulated, and nearly unconscious. You reckoned you could feel him inside you for days. The next thing you knew, Wonwoo was parting your thighs, wiping your core gently with a warm, damp towel as he let you rest and catch your breath.
"We n-need shower... messy..." You mumbled, and he just chuckled at your state. 
"Can you even walk, baby?" 
"Hmm, I can. I just need some time."
He crawled towards the bed by your side and cradled your head under his arms and that was when you got to admire how utterly flawless he looked — skin glowing, tips of his nose and ears pink, lips plump and red, blue hair all messed up, and his neck and chest sweat-clad. 
"I love you and your jealous ass." You declared, flicking his nose gently. "You know that, right?" 
"I do. I love you." He nodded and cupped your face to peck your lips. "Sorry, love. Was I too rough?"
You hummed, looping an arm around him, "Hhmm. It's all good. I kinda liked it."
Wonwoo smirked at you, pleased with himself, and drew you closer, snuggling and savouring the post-coital bliss. 
Before the night ended, you found yourselves back in the shower, making yet another mess and screaming each other's name. 
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BONUS:
It was a random decision on your end. You really weren't supposed to be in the studio as you were on a break which was long overdue, but you were bored and you hadn't seen Wonwoo for about a week. So, you decided to whip up some surprise and buy snacks to surprise the members and the team during the filming of SeungKwan Boo's Past Life Destiny for Going Seventeen 2020. 
The team were gathered in a circle when you entered discreetly, all of them still huddled and finding their partners. Hiding with the staff members behind the camera, you saw your boyfriend being rejected several times, with the members teasing him that he doesn't need a partner because he has you anyway. Wonwoo looked extra cuddly that day with his white turtle neck shirt and knitted navy sweaters. He seemingly had high energy, too, like one of the junior producers told you. You loved seeing him like that, playful and excited. 
However, you started sensing Wonwoo's slight unease and discomfort after few more failed rounds, and even the head PD that daysaw it, too. So, when he was finally on the chair as the last member to match, the PD requested you to surprise him to lift his mood back up. It was never something you would do during filming, but you felt it was needed that day.
You emerged from behind the cameras and quietly approached him, earning excited reactions from the team. 
"No peeking yet, hyung!" Seungkwan exclaimed, with such contagious excitement, standing next to Wonwoo and ensuring he wouldn't turn around just yet.
"Waaah, nice Wonwoo-hyung!" The members cheered and hooted, making Wonwoo even more curious as to who actually came to be his partner.
"Why? Do I have many admirers?" Your boyfriend joked, then turned around, gasping in surprise and delight when saw you beaming and reaching out your hand to him. 
"Waaaah!! When did you get here?!" Wonwoo marvelled, nearly falling off the chair while taking your hand and engulfing you in a hug as everyone cheered. You just chuckled and rubbed his back. He held you tight and breathed you in, immediately soothing whatever discomfort he was feeling. 
"I bought you guys food." You smiled at him and pushed him back on the chair to resume the filming. He smiled brightly at you, blood rushing to his cheeks as he nodded and finally let you go. 
Knowing you were there and right on time as always, his battery became fully-charged once again. 
You are there for him, in his brightest days or darkest nights.
And he loves you, in his brightest and darkest moments, too.
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218 notes · View notes
bugs1nmybrain · 8 months
Text
Masterlist (18+) ♡☆♡☆♡☆
This is a comprehensive list of all my fics and headcanons. These are all x readers, and the reader is almost always fem. Listed at the end are things that I will write and won't write.
Characters I write for: L Lawliet, Tomura Shigaraki, Shouta Aizawa, and Professor Franken Stein, Liela Lovesworth (an OC of mine)
I am also a self-shipper! I may post content about my f/os and the time I spend with them. If that makes you uncomfortable, then take a walk!
Minors CANNOT interact with these posts, as 98% of them are nsfw.
Date updated: 4/16/24
L Lawliet ♡♡♡
Somno/Morning Sex with L (smut fic)
Fem!L x Fem!Reader
Food play with L (self insert smut)
Drunk 69 with L
Voyeurism and Somnophilia with L (smut fic)
L Lawliet x Bipolar Reader (headcanons)
Intricate: L x Chubby! Reader NSFW (smut fic)
Distraction (smut fic)
L x Curvy! Reader (headcanons)
What L Would Do When He's in Love (headcanons)
NSFW Headcanons
L and reader lose their virginities together (smut fic)
The Task Force walks in on you and L making out (fic)
Pet names he'd call you (headcanons)
L x INFP! Reader (headcanons)
L x Short! Reader (headcanons)
L x Reader: First Time Headcanons
L x Chubby! Reader (headcanons)
L SFW Alphabet
L NSFW Alphabet
L Relationship Headcanons
Tomura Shigaraki ♡♡♡
Bipolar Shigaraki Headcanons
Fem Shiggy Headcanons
Shigaraki walks in on Re-Destro talking shit about you (short fic)
Shigaraki's Psychological Conditions Headcanons
Shigaraki x Fem!Reader Anal Sex (One-shot fic)
Give Your Heart a Break - shigaraki x reader series
chapter 1
chapter 2
chapter 3
Clingy!Tomura x reader hcs
Kisses with Shigaraki (headcanons)
Shigaraki with a Girlfriend Headcanons (w: dub-con/non-con, domestic abuse)
Neko!Shigaraki and Reader smut
Stoned Bathroom Sex with Tomura
Sfw Reverse Comfort MDLB (mommy dom/little boy)
Mommy Kink with Shigaraki (smut fic)
Shigaraki x Chubby! Reader Headcanons
Nasty (Period sex) (smut fic)
NSFW Headcanons
NSFW Alphabet
Shiggy x Short! Reader (headcanons)
Tomura fucking you in front of Dabi (smut fic, TW: dub-con)
Shouta Aizawa ♡♡♡
Aizawa x Bigender reader hcs
Aizawa x reader headcanons
Emotional Support Sex with Shouta
NSFW Headcanons
Aizawa x Bipolar! Reader (headcanons)
Aizawa x Virgin! Reader (smut fic)
Aizawa x Short! Reader (headcanons)
Aizawa SFW Headcanons
Aizawa x College Student! Reader (smut fic)
Aizawa NSFW Headcanons
Aizawa x Chubby! Reader (headcanons)
Aizawa Relationship Headcanons
Franken Stein ♡♡♡
Stein x Immuno-compromised Reader (headcanons)
NSFW Alphabet
Stein x Chubby! Reader (headcanons)
Liela Lovesworth (my oc) ♡♡♡
Confession (sfw)
What I will write♡♡♡!!:
Nsfw/smut
fem characters (ex: fem L, fem Tomura, etc)
fem-reader
enby reader with female anatomy or male anatomy (please specify for nsfw)
male reader but I've never done it
Any character that I write for
fluff
sfw
crack fic
dubcon/noncon
problematic content
Mental illness (bipolar, schizophrenia, ocd, etc)
Mommy/daddy kink
Chubby reader
anal but not rough
What I WON'T write ×!×!×:
Minors/pedophilia
scat
blood/mutilation (with the exception of period sex)
Anything ridiculously out of character
brutal rape (any rape is brutal, but I mean gruesome to the point of no return after I write it)
Yandere (I will write obsessive partners and codependent relationships, but no kidnapping or stuff like that)
violence
Furry (except nekos)
Incest
Characters I don't write for
Chains/leather/etc
230 notes · View notes
hey-kae · 2 years
Note
Hi! I absolutely love your works✨✨ and I would like to ask you for an OS angst 😢 where Charles and reader end the relationship because of hate and comments on social media. I don't know whether to end with a happy or sad ending, that's your choice 🥰.
Hate and Love
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader
Warnings: the chaos that was japan, slight implication about Charles thinking of Jules’ accident, panic attack, talk of weight and body image, needs more proofreading.
a/n: i don’t think i’m that good with the whole hate trope as i struggle to write it without feeling like it’s turning out cringey, what explains how long this took me to write and i’m still not satisfied with it. But it’s yours to judge now ig…
When you've been swinging a hammer repeatedly over a frail sheet of glass, it's it going to shatter it. There is no way around that fact.
When you keep throwing insults at a human being, you're going to break them.
Whether these things are your intentions or not doesn't change the outcome.
Rarely do we ever see any exceptions for clear and particular reasons. Everything has a reaction or consequence that is to some degree, inescapable.
The crack in the glass made itself loud and clear on the weekend of the Japanese Grand Prix.
Excited about having some time off that would allow you to support Charles on the double header of Singapore and Japan and getting to see such beautiful and unique places, you had decided to accompany him on his two week trip, not wanting to waste any opportunity to spend highly valuable time with him.
The Singapore Grand Prix went okay and by the end of the weekend, the bags were packed and you headed to the airport with Charles.
On the lengthy flight, Charles fell asleep with his head resting on your shoulder, and it honestly didn't matter how long the two of you had been dating, long enough that you had a sparkling ring sitting on your finger, the sight of that and the feel of his soft brown hair tickling your neck and cheek quickly caused your heart to race. If anything, that was just another proof of how much this man meant to you, how much you devotedly loved him.
Wanting to secure the memory in your head and into existence, you fished your phone out of your bag without moving much so you wouldn't disturb him, and you quickly snapped a selfie that showed half your face, mainly focusing at the much cherished sight of your asleep fiance.
The picture was adorable. Charles looked so cozy and at peace.
You were smiling at your phone screen, debating whether or not you should share such a harmless picture with the world.
There lies the conflict.
If any of your social media accounts had been somewhat "normal", you would've posted it without any second thoughts like you'd done with previous boyfriends you had. Sharing occasional pictures of your relationship for your friends and family to see was something that should've felt natural, and it did feel like that in the past.
Then, Charles came along.
He was somewhat of a celebrity.
You knew that since the very first time you hung out with him. If anything, that was the only thing about him that made you reluctant about getting into a relationship with him. People's huge interest in him would inevitably transfer to his partner.
As you had expected, dating Charles reformed your understanding of social media. It was no longer a source of entertainment but a business place, a space for profit and advertising and never in your life have you wanted that to be the way you used social platforms.
Suddenly, everyone was so interested in your everyday life to the point where there was accounts literally dedicated to finding out where you bought each outfit from and while it was funny for a while, you were quick to realize that the whole influencer lifestyle was in no way your cup of tea.
It didn't help that anytime you shared anything that had merely any connection to Charles, your DMs flooded with message requests and your notifications got crowded with replies and comments. One night, out of sheer boredom while Charles snored beside you in bed, you went through some messages. From that point on, there was no return route, and it sure didn't help that the engagement shone a brighter light on your relationship and how serious it was, causing the hate to double.
While some of the messages were overwhelmingly sweet, some were also overwhelmingly cruel and inconsiderate.
You promised yourself that you wouldn't let these things affect you nor the beautiful and genuine connection you had with Charles, that you wouldn't even check the messages and comments again in the first place.
But as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.
It turned into a repeated pattern, a compulsion you couldn't get rid of.
Therefore, you continued staring at the picture, you thumb hovering over the share button until Charles startled you.
"Tout va bien, bébé?" Everything's okay, baby?
You locked your phone and let it fall onto your lap before assuring him that everything was okay.
"Oui, cheri. Tout est bien." Yes, darling. Everything is okay. You smiled, wrapping one arm around him and allowing your head to rest on his, your eyes closing as you attempted to push out all the negative things and remarks, redirecting your focus onto the man by your side.
That position didn't hit the minute mark since Charles moved so he was sat a bit more upright and pulled you close to him so your head rested on his chest, his arm around your back while he looked down at you through half opened eyes.
"Tu sais bien que tu peux me dire n'importe quoi, n'est ce pas?" You know that you can tell me anything, right? He reassured, sensing that something about the way you were behaving was not quite right.
"Oui, je sais cela. I promise you, there's nothing worth mentioning." Yeah, i know that... You replied and tilted your head up to press a quick kiss onto his cheek.
With that, he let the subject go, ignoring the instinctive feeling in his chest telling him to make sure that everything was alright but he had no concrete proof that anything was going wrong so he forced himself to push the suspicions to the back of him mind.
That was supposed to be the end of that issue. You promised yourself to actually act normally and not allow stupid comments and remarks to taint your relationship with Charles.
It said a lot that you were engaged to Charles. You literally wanted to marry him, you saw your future with him and at this point, you couldn't really imagine a life without him by your side so you found it unreasonable and just plain idiotic to allow strangers who lived cities and countries away to interfere between him and you.
However, as the weekend processed and pictures of you with Charles popped up on the internet, that last thought seemed to be morphing. All you wanted was an escape, a break from the judgmental critics and the suspicious fans overanalyzing every move and post you made. With every passing hour, you were reminded why you rarely ever showed your relationship with Charles publicly and openly.
People knew you existed and they knew that you and Charles were engaged but when they aren't reminded of that, they tend to ease up a little bit on you. Therefore, it goes without saying that the opposite had been happening during those two weeks.
After qualifying, having watched the session from the pit box since Charles asked you to, you posted a quick shot of him as he was being photographed with Max and Carlos. You hadn't thought the post through, just supporting for your fiancé and wanting to share that openly. But as you laid sleepless in bed, the jet lag getting to you after Charles passed out of exhaustion, you realized that was a mistake.
Your DMs were flooded with messages, some positive and some negative but it seemed like you couldn't bring yourself to focus on the love you were getting, not when the opposing words were so cruel, hitting quite close to home.
People were going on and on about how you were like Charles' shadow. To them, it looked like you wouldn't let him breathe, that you followed him everywhere and limited his freedom.
Apparently, you were insecure about the relationship and you were essentially following him across the planet not to support him, but to supervise his actions, as if you would've agreed to marry a man you didn't trust.
Not only were they speculating about the relationship, the comments about your body were downright disturbing under some of the photos captured when you were spotted around the paddock. There were pictures of you eating and the comments under them were disgusting. Even the compliments were worded so crudely that it made your skin crawl as you read through them.
But what hurt the most is people saying you weren't enough, that you weren't worthy of dating someone like Charles, that you were forcing him to commit, that you were using him for fame when in reality, you hated every bit of unnecessary attention you got through dating him.
Everyone was preaching about the way he could do so much better, posting pictures of his exes and comparing your looks to theirs.
Looking through these messages and comments was overwhelming, even suffocating to a certain extent but for some reason, you couldn't put the phone down.
Does she have to always be there?!
Is it just me or is she gaining weight?
I wish Charles would wake up and see why she's really dating him
It's giving... attention seeker
ngl his ex was prettier and they were a cuter couple
The remarks went on and on and you lost yourself in the masses of words that night, forgetting where you were, forgetting that Charles was asleep right beside you, forgetting how much he loves you and how he always went out of his way to remind you of that. Your thoughts were hypnotized by strangers online and you couldn't think of anything else other than what you were reading, not even the words that made you cry when Charles had said them to you the night he went from being your boyfriend to being your fiancé.
You didn't even realize you were crying but the hot tears dropped onto your pajama pants when you sat up in a hurry, gasping for air.
You couldn't breathe properly, your lungs felt like they were collapsing, your hands were freezing and shaking out of control until the words on the screen of your phone and the pictures of Charles hugging you after qualifying turned into a streaky blur of colors that you couldn't even comprehend.
You needed a quick escape, some fresh air but you felt stranded, in a unfamiliar country where you had no idea about where you could go.
Suddenly, you were too aware of the sheets covering your body and even that felt too heavy to be bearable.
With wobbling legs, you pushed off the covers and stumbled onto your feet, even in this state making sure that Charles was still covered.
Nothing felt alright.
You felt like you were loosing it and instead of considering waking Charles up, you thanked god he was in deep slumber.
Tunnel vision took over, making the room darker and smaller than it already was. Your heart felt heavy in your chest. You could hear the rush of blood in your ears. Your body was tingling like if was going numb. Your throat felt dry and tight. Your tears were streaming out of control. You were was having chills all over as you broke out in a cold sweat. The loud noise from the street by the hotel felt so distant but somehow, the sound of Charles breathing was deafeningly loud.
You felt like you were loosing control.
With absolutely no clue of how you made it out of the bedroom, you burst through the balcony door, longing for a fresh breeze, the chilly night air feeling like it was waking up every nerve in your body.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." you kept mumbling as you allowed yourself to fall into the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you finally broke into sobs instead of the panicked, silent cries.
You were never confident growing up, always the calm sister, the shy cousin but really, you were insecure. For years, you worked on yourself until you finally got yourself to participate in social settings, to meet new people. Hell, it took years until you stopped reaching for a pillow to put in your lap every time you sat down, until you could walk in public without crossing your arms in front of you, until you found it in yourself to wear anything you wanted, until you could laugh without covering your mouth.
Therefore, it was undeniable that when you were met with such remarks, every past wound was reopened, and to be fair, the energy it took for you to build yourself into a confident woman was one you didn't have at the moment. You couldn't afford to go down that rabbit hole again. Once in your life was already too much.
You looked out onto the bright city lights, one striking thought now torturing your mind.
Charles.
Charles in your life meant curious eyes and endless criticism. There is no way around that unless he hid you from the world for evermore, and you weren't naïve enough to believe that would be possible, not if you wanted to marry him proudly and have your own little family with him.
That's when your heart broke and the sobs got ten times worse while your opposite hand wrapped around the diamond ring on your finger.
The man asleep a few feet away from you was everything you'd ever wished for.
He was the prince charming that you dreamt of finding back when you were a toddler watching princess movies, beaming over happy endings and escaping on a white horse. Charles was the one who satisfied that little girl's dreams during adult days that felt endless and hopeless and so painfully dull.
Middle school you who described the man she'd marry years down the road in excessive details in her diary would be in disbelief to see Charles exceeding all the impossibly high expectations she set, even after she ditched them when she was forced to face the real world.
He was perfect and you loved him beyond words, more than you ever thought was possible and you were just so ready to have it that way until forever and a day, until you grew old with his hand in yours.
Countless times, you imagined your wedding, the days after it, the look on Charles' face. You imagined having kids with him, watching him become a father and being the amazing dad you knew for sure he would be, holding the children you'd have and teaching them how to do anything and everything, maybe even how to race. Every detail that you were so sure would become true at some point had passed through your mind so many times, sending your kids to school, watching them grow up with the love of your life right by your side for it all, sharing every moment, milestone and event with Charles, happy or sad.
You wanted everything with him, the good and the bad.
But then, the image of the teenager you once were, stood timidly in front of the mirror, hating what she saw took over. You remembered when you didn't have the confidence to even present a project in school, when every little critic tore you apart and broke you to pieces.
The future was pushed right out of your mind as you let the past take over, dread washing over you like frozen water as you realized just how easily this situation you were in could drive you back to your old ways.
As the memory of crying your nights away and fearing the days came resurfaced, the face of younger you, so hopeful and full of life flashed in your mind and that was when you realized you couldn't fail her, no matter how flawless your relationship with Charles was, it was still breaking you.
As you came to the realization, the cries became too loud and even from your spot on the balcony, you were afraid to wake Charles up. You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobs and gasps, your eyes screwing shut as you struggled to catch your breath, the tears falling out of your eyes heavy and uncontrollable.
You couldn't afford waking him up right now, facing his gentle looks and caring words but No matter how quiet you attempted to be, it didn't work.
"Cherie," Charles' worried toned startled you, making you fumble to wipe away the tears, "what is happening?" He asked, crouching down in front of you immediately.
His hair was ruffled and messy. He was barefoot and was messily but warmly dressed for bed. His eyes were hazy with sleep and barely opened while his hands grabbed yours to pull them away from your face.
He was a bit too caring and it made everything hurt so much more.
Through your burning eyes and clouded vision, you glanced up at him adoringly while your heart shattered into a million tiny shards.
"I love you so much, Charlie." You sobbed, reaching over and hugging him as tight as you could.
Instantly, his hands were rubbing up and down your back, trying so desperately to comfort you, but he had no clue what was going on and he was too sleepy not to be confused.
"I love you so much as well." He kissed the top of your head, "mais tu veux me dire qu'est-ce qui se passe, mon amour?" but you wanna tell me what’s happening? He asked with the softest voice, taking advantage of the way your arms were wrapped around his neck to slip his hands under you and carry you back inside to the comfortable bed where he could hold you properly.
Once he had you wrapped in a cozy hug on the mattress, he got you to look at him and his heart plummeted at the sight of your swollen eyes.
"Oh, baby." He cooed, wiping the last of your tears off your cheeks with his thumbs, "What happened?"
You felt like you could crumble under his worried looks, immensely dreading tomorrow as your eyes looked with his.
"I don't know." You attempted to push out a chuckle but Charles knew you too much.
He got you to lay your head on his chest and began brushing his fingers through your hair, thinking about what could be the reason you were crying that hard.
"Honnêtement? Je n'te crois pas. You were crying so hard, bébé..." Honestly? I don’t believe you. You were crying so hard, baby…
The heavy concern lacing his still hoarse voice was too much and you could've lied to him, came up with an excuse for the breakdown you had but you couldn't do that, not to someone you loved so much.
"I just - i don't know, cheri. Je n'veux pas en parler maintenant." I don’t want to talk about it right now. You felt Charles nod. He knew he couldn't force you to talk about something you didn't want to discuss but he wasn't gonna be at ease, not knowing why you were so upset, not able to help you through it.
"D'accord..." Okay. he said, closing his tired eyes, "Demain après la course donc?" Tomorrow after the race then?
"Ouais. Demain." Your heart ached at that. Yeah, tomorrow.
With that last promise to discuss the issue tomorrow, Charles allowed himself to relax for now, hugging you close but making sure he wouldn't be falling asleep before you.
Meanwhile your mind raced with thoughts of your plans. You couldn't help but fear that Charles would think you don't love him anymore after he would find out what you did.
"Charles..." you waited for him to look at you, "Tu sais bien que je ne mens jamais quand je te dis que je t'aimerais jusqu'à mon dernier souffle, n'est-ce pas? Promets-moi de ne jamais oublier cela” You know that i will love you until my last breath, right? Promise me to never forget that.
"Alright, baby... I don't like the sound of that. Why are you saying it like this?" He lifted his head off the pillow to look at you, his hand stilling in your hair as he tried understanding what you meant by that, especially when you were crying minutes ago, when your body was still shaking against his.
"Please tell me what's going on." He asked again, the worry and dread in his chest increasing with every word you said.
"There's really nothing going on. I just want to remind you of how much i love you." You said with a sniffle, your eyes clouding again with tears that were threatening to spill again.
"I really don't believe you, not when i'm not understanding anything at all." He sat up a bit, unable to shake the uneasy feeling he had now.
"Charles, please. On a dit qu'on en  parlera plus tard et tu dois vraiment dormir car il est deja très tard et tu dois te réveiller tôt demain matin. S'il te plait, laisse ça tomber au moment." We said we’ll talk about it later and you really need to sleep because it’s already so late and you have to wake up early tomorrow. Please, let it go right now.
Sighing, he reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off, clearly not happy about this situation and making that clear to you by turning the other way and pulling the sheets right up to his neck.
You couldn't help but bite the inside of your cheek at that, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes.
"Charlie, please don't be upset. Je t'aime." I love you. You rolled onto your side, facing his back, hiding your face against it and hugging his waist as the tears started falling again.
“Bonne nuit.” Good night. He mumbled as a reply but you never let go of him, no matter how many minutes had passed.
You listened to the sound you were most grateful for, the soft thud of his heartbeat, letting it cut you deeper and harder because you were so hell bent on the fact that you deserved this pain, and once you thought he had went back to sleep, you allowed the quiet sobs and sniffles out, holding on tighter to the man you loved so deeply.
But Charles was everything but asleep. He felt your arms tighten around his waist, felt your hands clutching onto him for dear life. He heard you crying and laid there for a while, going over the past day in his head a hundred different times, desperately trying to understand what had unworldly upset you and crushed you this bad until his heart started feeling heavy with every sob that met his ears and at that point, he no longer felt like insisting on finding out what had happened. He just wanted to comfort you.
He sighed heavily and turned to face you, immediately bringing you to hide in his chest and between his sheltering arms, his hand on the back of your head securing you into this position that he knew you found so comforting.
The gesture only made you cry harder, this time the sounds muffled by having Charles so close.
"Shh, bébé." He kissed the top of your head while his heart felt like it was being torn apart, "I've got you, mon amour. Calm down."
That night you fell asleep for one singular reason and that way your eyes burning beyond comprehension, forcing you into slumber. Once your tensed body relaxed in Charles hold, he realized that you just exhausted yourself into sleep and that fact alone brought him so close to crying himself. However, he wasn't an idiot. He was well aware he shouldn't be staying up any longer, that he couldn't risk not being able to drive at a 100% in the conditions expected for the race, so he allowed his eyes to fall shut while making sure he had you held as close as possible.
__
When you woke up next morning, you were alone in bed and as soon as you checked your phone for the Japanese time, you realized why. The race was starting in less than two hours and you were still asleep.
With a worrying scowl on your face, you got up and headed for the bathroom, still trying to make sense of why Charles hadn't woken you up earlier. In the mirror over the sink, there was an unpleasant reminder of yesterday night: swollen under-eyes as your reflection's most prominent feature and even you couldn't help but to stare as you brushed your teeth.
Once done with that, you went back into the bedroom and found a note taped onto the closet door.
I didn't have the heart to wake you up cause you looked so tired but there is a key to a rental by your purse if you still want to go to the race. (I texted you a picture of which car it is.)
Je t'aime fort.
Without a second thought, you pulled on a pair of loose jeans, a cozy sweatshirt that belonged to charles and some shoes, grabbed an additional jacket, your purse and pass along with the keys Charles left you, applied some makeup to hide your swollen eyes and headed for the track, knowing that you weren't selfish enough to not even show your face at such an emotionally charged race for Charles.
It was pouring as you drove to the circuit so you put on your jacket, pulled the hood on and made a run for Charles' garage, hoping you'll catch him before he has to line up on the grid and you did but just barely.
As soon as he saw you coming up to him, his face brightened and he smiled. However, his eyes scanned over you as if to make sure you were alright.
"Good luck!" You attempted an enthusiastic tone after he had greeted you with a quick peck.
"Thank you. Tout vas mieux aujourd'hui?" Is everything going better today?
You nodded and dodged any further questions until he was luckily called over to the car and just like that, he was out of the garage, waving at you as he slipped into the cockpit and moved out into the pit lane.
You slacked in a chair then, feeling so guilty for even having the thought of leaving him, so guilty for putting yourself first. All you could think of was how you never in your life bothered prioritizing yourself and why did you have to start doing that now? When it came down to Charles and your relationship with him? But then another voice that seemed to come from a totally different side of your brain would remind you that it was either losing Charles or losing yourself again and forcing yourself into endless years of repairs and reconstruction.
Needless to say, by the start of the formation lap, your felt like you were loosing your mind as one thought contradicted the other, the scary conditions of the track adding another element to go crazy over with worry and before you knew it, chaos ensued and the race was red flagged when Carlos crashed and the recovery vehicle was employed while the cars were still on track and if you knew anything, it was that it would be disturbing for Charles to see that, especially when it was one of his friends, Pierre who was in the most danger.
You stayed in your chair as the cars made their way back in and watched Charles talking to the pit wall crew across from the garage where you were. He looked so visibly shaken up and you couldn't look at him and his tense posture for longer than that without backing out on your plan.
You turned away, grabbed your phone and booked a plane ticket home so there was no way out of this. However, that only increased the guilt you were feeling as Charles finished talking to Laurent and made his way to you, instantly giving you a kiss before reaching for his red Ferrari coat and shrugging it on to warm himself up.
If he didn't look visibly upset and worried and if you didn't feel like you were betraying him, you would've been obsessing over how adorable he looked with his hands tucked deep into his pockets as he took a seat by your side.
Suddenly, for the first time in years, you were fumbling for words around Charles but you saw him in staring into the distance before he heavily sighed and dropped his head back.
Everything was so close to collapsing, both on your side and his. Maybe you could rethink your decision.
"Bébé..." you turned sideways in your chair and faced him, "are you okay?" You asked and grabbed his hand in both yours.
"Yes, don't worry. Are you feeling better today?"
Only Charles would be more concerned about you when just minutes ago, his life and the life of multiple of his friends were literally on the line.
"Charles..."
"Please, they're already going to make me talk about everything in the media pen and i really don't want to do it twice." He rubbed his eyes angrily as he spoke, moving his hand between yours to intertwine your fingers.
Maybe you shouldn't leave. Not today at least.
You nodded and sat by his side in silence, watching your hands in your lap, his fingers toying with the ring on yours in a way you would've presumed absentminded but Charles found it incredibly comforting.
Eventually, after texting with the other drivers for a long time, all of them furious about the truck incident, he moved his chair closer and rested his head on your shoulder, allowing the two of you to chat quietly about almost anything that didn't involve racing: the food from the restaurant you went to in Tokyo, the old couple you saw yesterday when you went for a walk in the early morning, the wallpaper on your phone, paddock gossip... Anything to distract him for the current situation and the catastrophe that was this Grand Prix since you had a relatively clear idea of what he would be thinking at the moment.
"Cute hoodie, by the way." He smiled half-heartedly.
"It's cold and i don't have anything warm enough with me." You were quick to defend.
"I didn't say i mind it. Au contraire, je l'adore quand tu t'habille de mes vêtements." On the contrary, i adore it when you wear my clothes.
You couldn't even believe you were still considering leaving just a few minutes ago. How could you ever let go of this?
"Okay, okay. Don't get all cheesy now." You blushed, holding onto his hand tighter while you attempted to get a clear view of him.
He let out a small chuckle and brought your hand up to his mouth to press a kiss onto your knuckles.
"Merci." He smiled, "I know what you're doing and I'm so grateful."
You struggled to reply because of course he'd figure this out, so you settled for something simple, "Je t'aime, Charlie." You said and kissed his forehead mindlessly.
And it was like the universe hated you because right that instant, a big camera was directed right at you and Charles, capturing the moment at the perfect time and probably showing it on live TV.
It would be an understatement to say you immediately feared the outcome because you knew that a lot of people would find some ulterior motive other than comforting your stressed fiancé behind the gesture.
You still tried hard to act unfazed like Charles was but you remained highly uncomfortable until the lens moved in the other direction, filming the pit wall.
Somehow, through the seemingly endless red flag, you managed to forget that ever happened until Charles fixed up his suit and retrieved his helmet ages later, returning to his car as they announced the resumption of the session in ten minutes.
"Good luck once again." You smiled at him and watched him head out, back into the car and onto the track.
When Charles disappeared out of sight, you grabbed your phone and found endless notifications on the screen, reminding you of being filmed.
You couldn't help the heavy dread in your chest as you unlocked the device and clicked on the twitter icon.
You knew you couldn't allow yourself to have a breakdown in the middle of the garage with so many people who were well aware who you were surrounding you but you couldn't resist clicking on the notifications tab, gulping as you started reading through them.
It was the usual: the comments like "oh my god, they're adorable" and "at least she's there to comfort him" versus the opposing ones like "she's doing anything to appear on the stream", as if a kiss on the forehead was such an eccentric things to go.
Line after line, you read them and allowed them to build up in your mind until your breathing became irregular like yesterday.
You made a run for it.
You grabbed your things in a hurry, still trying not to attract unnecessary attention and hurried to the car.
You couldn't do this. You wouldn't survive staying in the spotlight that came with dating one of the most famous f1 drivers currently. You wouldn't make it out alive if you stayed with Charles and even though you felt so selfish as you turned the car on, you kept telling yourself that if there was any reasonable time to be selfish, it was now.
The drive back to the hotel passed in a teary, breathless haze as your mind carried your body on autopilot.
Before you could even register that you arrived to the room, you were packing up your bag and frantically searching the room for any pen and paper until you found one with the name of the hotel plastered all over it.
You only realized you were crying when the tear splattered onto the paper, distorting the ink as you shakily wrote.
Charlie, je suis infiniment désolée mais je ne peux plus faire ça. Ce mode de vie est quelque chose dont je ne pourrai jamais supporter.
Prends toujours soin de toi-même. I am so sorry.
Charlie, I'm very sorry but I can't do that anymore. This way of life is something I will never be able to bear.
Always take care of yourself. I am so sorry.
It felt like you were ripping away a part of you when your fingers wrapped around the engagement ring and you began sliding it off. It was physically painful to let go of everything so quickly but it felt like there was no escaping this.
Your eyes forcefully shut and sobs shook your body once the ring was in the palm of your hand instead of on your finger. You looked down at it, the diamond glistening brighter through your blurry, teary gaze. With your breath caught in your throat, you let it fall onto the paper on the nightstand then you were struggling to inhale at all, but you managed to call a taxi and rush down to the lobby with your suitcase and a heavy heart that was burdening you, avoiding at all costs allowing your mind to imagine how Charles would react to your unexplained and unexpected absence, let alone the break up in form of a paper with tear-streaked ink scarring it.
You just flew to your home country, not even to the apartment you shared with Charles in Monaco, leaving everything behind.
Such a short race shouldn't have felt so long but it seemed never ending as the gap to P1 grew with every lap, the tyres working completely against all the effort Charles was putting in.
Before he even knew it, the Redbull behind him was threateningly close and he was cussing out the whole world. He defended his position with everything he got, the only thing on his mind is finishing the race and falling into the comfort of his fiancée's arms but with all the stress that weighed down on his shoulders, the pressure of such defense caused him to exit the track and he knew he'd have to face complications because of that.
Getting dropped from P2 to P3 by a 5 seconds penalty felt like being dropped from P1 to P20, especially after all the effort he put in on track to keep the position but he took it without complaints and walked into the cool down room, already feeling like he was ready to collapse in bed.
He felt heavy and exhausted. He just wished he could skip the podium celebration and the interviews and just go find you but he knew that was impossible so he straightened up and put the brave, undefeated face back on.
On podium, his eyes scanned the crowd many times, trying so desperately to find the face that brought him comfort but to no avail. His shoulders slacked a bit lower as he realized you weren't watching the celebration and he was already making excuses for you as the national anthems played.
Eventually, he was handed a trophy and even though it was rather small, lifting it above his head took so much effort. He was so done with everything and just wanted to escape to you and hug you so tight. No one was ever able to cheer him up like you did and he was so grateful for that, for you and for the fact that he would be calling you his wife someday.
Forcing himself to stay aware of where he was for a few more minutes, he popped the bottle of champagne open and sprayed Max, congratulated him on the championship and eagerly got the hell out.
He rejoined his team, immediately asking about you but no where had a single idea where you were. Then, he was dragged out into the media pen where he rushed through all the questions, eventually resuming the search for you as soon as he was free to go. He checked both Ferrari garages, the team hospitality and finally his motorhome but you were nowhere to be found.
He started worrying, the state you were in yesterday adding to the situation.
He changed out of the suit, put on a jacket, grabbed his things and got going, his phone ringing against his ear as he attempted calling you while he was searching for Pierre to quickly check up on him before leaving. The phone kept ringing until he was met with beeping followed by your voicemail.
"Where are you, chérie? You're worrying me." He said and stuffed his phone in his pocket as he caught sight of his french friend.
Half an hour later, Charles was in the elevator in the hotel, going up to the floor the two of you were staying at, his heart beating fast with pure worry since he already called you many times on his way back and not once did you pick up.
He dragged himself through the hallway and unlocked the door in a hurry, immediately calling your name once he stepped into the suite.
Once, twice, three times... Nothing. Not a single sound in the room.
He walked further inside, expecting to see you overtaken by sleep on the bed but it was neatly made and the room looked clean and spotless.
That's when he panicked.
The room looked too clean.
The vanity facing the bed had absolutely nothing on it. Just this morning, it had your bag, your makeup remover, your jewelry box and a bottle of your perfume. It was completely clear now, and it could've been that you just put these things away but your suitcase had also been sitting on the floor next to it along with the spare pair of shoes you brought with you and those were gone too. Even your phone's charger was gone from the outlet above your nightstand.
The words you had said to him yesterday resurfaced in his mind, the fact that you were asking him to promise you he'd never forget you love him now seemingly bone-chilling.
What was going on? He kept asking himself because there was no way what he was assuming would be true.
He turned on his heels and began searching the other part of the suite, from the kitchenette to the small balcony to the bathroom, even checking behind the frosted glass of the shower.
Nothing. You weren't there and nor were your things.
"Non. Non, ça peut pas être." No. No, it can't be. He started mumbling to himself as he rushed around the rooms, retrieving his phone and calling you in a hurry now, as if that would make you pick up.
"Tu peux pas me faire ça. Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Où est tu? S'il te plais, répond au téléphone." You can't do that to me. What’s going on? Where are you? Please answer the phone. He said into your voicemail and tossed his phone onto the couch, heading back to the bedroom.
Maybe he was misinterpreting this. Maybe you just put your suitcase in the closet provided. Maybe you put your things in drawers. Maybe you left the race because you were tired.
So many maybes and what ifs clouded his thoughts as he pulled the closet opened, only to be deceived but the dull and blank wooden shelves.
"Putain." Fuck. He cursed and moved onto the drawers, not even closing the closet doors.
One after one, he yanked them open and every single drawer was empty, even the ones of the nightstand on the side where you'd been sleeping, leaving him with only the one on his side of the bed.
He rolled on the mattress in a hurry but froze in his sitting position as his eyes met a sight he never wanted to see, a sight he never thought he'd see.
It felt like he forgot how to breathe, like his heart was irregularly beating, skipping beats left and right as his eyes widened so much, they started burning.
"Non..." he shocked, gulping as he tried to make sense and of everything, "Why? What the fuck? Why?" He bolted to his feet, pacing by the bed with his hand against his mouth in pure shock. His mind was a mess of thoughts and feelings and words but most importantly questions.
He thought things between the two of you were as perfect as they could get so why was he staring at your ring sitting abandoned on the nightstand? He couldn't make sense of it. He kept asking himself why.
His heart shattered because it finally made sense how you were speaking to him yesterday night. You had planned this and still went to the race, sat by his side and comforted him when all he could think of was the potential tragedy that was the first few laps.
Nothing made sense. If you love him as much as you said yesterday, why did you leave him? Why did you bother with the grand prix? Why did you wear his sweatshirt?
Charles eventually froze in his spot but he could see a paper under the shiny band and he wanted to grab it. However, it felt like his arms had went limp and he suddenly couldn't move, his eyes still scarily widened, still trying so hard to wrap his head around what has happened today.
He was just so eager to come back to you after such a stressful race, after it became official that he lost the championship. He needed you right now that if felt like the world was closing in on him, but he came back to this, to a breakup through a paper, not even face to face.
Cursing again, he grabbed the paper and the ring and read the streaked ink scribbled clearly in a hurry.
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A hundred times, he read and reread the words, until his tears joined the marks of yours on the paper, and not once did they sink in.
You gave up on the relationship that easily? He couldn't bear the mere thought of you leaving him and now he had to face that as his reality? Without any clear explanation or a proper end and all because of the lifestyle that came with dating him? How were you planning to marry him if that was the case?
He fell back onto the mattress, his hands over his face as he tried so hard not to break after such a bad day but the tears defied him and streamed down the sides of his face in a rush.
It felt like a mockery that when he received the penalty, he thought the weekend had no way of getting worse. He had the comfort of knowing he had you by his side and with the endless support you always provided, he knew he could overcome anything but now he feels powerless, broken and defeated and he wasn't sure what to do about it.
He just needed one of your hugs right now. He just needed for this to be a nightmare.
Just a few hours ago, he was twisting the ring around your finger and now it sat painfully cold in its loneliness in the palm of his hand.
He felt like tossing it out if the window but his heart couldn't take anymore hits today so he clutched it tighter and gave up on trying to push his emotions aside. He let them rule over him.
He loved you too much to be able to pull himself through this and come out unscathed.
This felt like the end of everything. He lost everything in a day and he didn't have to energy to face that just yet.
He laid alone on that bed, staring at the ceiling blankly, waiting for the shock to subside and for heartbreak to set in and when it did, every last breath was knocked right out of his body and he was left curled around a pillow, holding it so tight and crying into it, occasionally trying to call you again and again but not once did you answer and it enraged him.
He tossed the phone off the bed onto the floor with a frustrated scream that felt like it was cutting through his lungs.
Following that, he allowed himself to completely fall apart as it sank in that you really left him.
Charles felt utterly defeated and hopeless.
To say you were no longer used to waking up in your childhood home would be a major understatement, especially since you could barely open your swollen, burning eyes in the morning to see the room clearly, leaving you panicked because you weren't at the place you call home and very far from the person that felt like it.
However, the familiarity of the place was as welcoming as ever, definitely something you needed at the moment.
When you showed up home yesterday, everyone was worried but as they watched you drag the suitcase in with bare hands, the object tying you to Charles missing from your finger, they caught up quick enough not to ask any questions.
They let you sleep it off in your old bedroom but really, you were crying most of the time, questioning if you made the right decision.
Charles called you so many times and left so many voicemails but you were determined to stay off your phone, so you let it's battery drain until it powered off at night and you decided not to charge it as not to risk it.
Your heart ached all night long since the only thing you could think of was Charles returning to the vacant hotel room and discovering that you left without him, and as your woke up this morning and found yourself reaching for him in your half conscious state, what had remained whole from you completely shattered because he obviously wasn't there and you had made that choice for the both of you and he probably was clueless why you did it.
The smell of him was still engulfing you though, making you realize hours too late that you had taken off dressed in his sweatshirt still and you couldn't really tell if the fact that you were still wearing it was good or bad. You really couldn't bring yourself to care.
Once the morning light became too strong, you forced yourself to get out of the bed. However, on the first attempt, you only managed to sit up enough to scan the room. Your head was throbbing and your throat was sore and dry and you could barely see anything through your blurry vision.
You rubbed your eyes furiously and got up. Outside your door, you could hear your family moving about in the house and talking, the clatter of plates and utensils implying that they were probably having breakfast.
You felt guilty that you barely great them yesterday but you still couldn't bring yourself to go out and talk to anyone so grabbed some of your old towels from a drawer, your shower products from your suitcase and headed for the bathroom.
You avoided your reflection at all costs. You didn't want to face any of yesterday's various aftermaths. Instead, you stepped under the hot stream, immediately felt your shoulders drop as your head fall back, the hot water relaxing your tense muscles.
Then, the tears made a comeback and you welcome them with open arms, letting them stay as you washed your hair and body until you turned the shower off and padded back to your room.
Pulling open your closet, you were met with the memories of the last time you had stocked it. You and Charles and his family spent last Christmas with your parents. The two of you had been newly engaged and everyone was still gushing over that.
As the memories of that trip resurfaced, your eyes met the sight of a certain pile of clothes that didn't belong to you. That's when you remembered that Charles had felt a few items of clothing here, a change for hot weather and one for cold days, because he was so damn sure he'd come back to your childhood home at some point and so were you.
With your lips pursed, you betrayed your heart and grabbed his sweater instead of your own clothes and put it on along with some shorts.
Tensely, you fell back onto the messy bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling lost and withdrawn. You had nothing to do, nowhere to be , nothing to distract you and the only thing you could think off was Charles.
You just wanted to know if he was alright, if he finished the race safely at least, but you didn't want to face the fact that you hurt him without giving him any explanation, that you walked out on him during one of the heaviest races of the season. You didn't want to consider the possibility that he now understood why you kept reminding him that you love him and that he might find it confusing now since common logic was that you don't leave someone you love.
As the thoughts ate away at your heart, you impulsively jumped up and grabbed your phone to charge it. You had to make sure he crossed the finish line safely at least and you wouldn't have to give in and contact him for you to know that.
The few minutes that it takes for the phone to power on felt like ages and when it finally did, over 50 missed calls from Charles flooded in along with so many texts and voicemails.
That meant that he was well, health wise at least. However, the last missed call was hours ago.
Your finger hovered over the voicemail icon and you were so tempted to just click it, desperate to hear his voice since you weren't used to starting your day without talking to him.
You gave in.
The first one started by him just asking where you were and judging by the noise around him, it was clear that he was still at the paddock.
But as one recording ended and another played, his tone progressively changed and several of his words broke your heart.
"Tu peux pas me faire ça..." You can’t do this to me… is what you heard in the second voicemail and the last one in which he didn't sound like he was crying. After that, it was just heartache.
"Tu peux me dire pourquoi, au moins? Je ne comprends rien." Can you tell me why, at least? I don’t understand anything.
"Where did you go? Tu m'inquiète au point de la folie." I’m going crazy from the worry.
"Fuck. Fuck, just..." you heard a sniffle, "... please, je te supplie, come back. Please."
These sentences amidst rambling and incoherent french stuck with you, making you wish you never charged your phone again or that you never left, but even after hearing that, nothing could've prepared you for the last recording.
"I'm kind of loosing hope now that you will answer," he sighed, "i just needed you here today, and always, but today more than usual. The race was shit but somehow i don't give a fuck. Why?" There was a laugh of irony and a pause before he continued, "Because the person i wanted to marry just left me. Really, bébé? Quand même une petite explication à ce qui s'est passé! Un adieu! Même ça, je ne le mérite plus?" At least a little explanation for what happened! A goodbye! Even that, I don't deserve it anymore? He was crying and now, so were you.
"It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why et maintenant, je sais plus how to live without you à mes côtés. Pourquoi t'as fais ça? How am i supposed to continue believing que tu m'aime? Tu m'as détruit complètement, chérie. J'ai tout perdu today."
It doesn't feel nice, being dumped with a letter and not even knowing why and now, I don't know how to live without you by my side. Why did you do that? How am I supposed to continue believing that you love me? You destroyed me completely, darling. I lost everything today.
Heavy breathing took over for a few seconds and you could tell he had been trying not to make it too obvious that he was crying.
Your hand clasped over your mouth to muffle the sobs as you waited for Charles to continue, "Je voulais t’épouser. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break mais il me semble que tu n'veux plus rien a faire avec moi et je n'ai aucune idée pourquoi. The lifestyle isn't something new et si tu était autant gêné depuis le début, you shouldn't have said yes when i proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me de l'espoir that i will get to call you my wife un jour, que je pourras passer le reste de ma vie avec toi, have our own children et notre propre famille à nous. Putain, tu n'aura jamais dû me laisser tomber si amoureux de toi if you knew you would leave at some point."
I wanted to marry you. I was gonna tell you that we should start preparing for the wedding so we can get married in winter break but it seems to me that you don't want anything to do with me anymore and I have no idea why. The lifestyle isn't something new and if you were so annoyed from it from the beginning, you shouldn't have said yes when I proposed. Fuck, you really shouldn't have given me hope that I will get to call you my wife one day, that I would get to spend the rest of my life with you, have our own children and our own family. Fuck, you should never have let me fall so in love with you if you knew you would leave at some point.
There was a long break after that and you could hear the sniffles and the rustling of sheets. You couldn't even imagine what he was thinking in these silent seconds.
"Je dois me taire, non? By the way, Max was announced champion, si t'en soucies même plus. I have to shut up, right? By the way, Max was announced champion, if you even care anymore. And... I love you still, a lot." He gasped the words out between sharp inhales and it made you want to go back to him just to hug him tight.
"Je sais plus si te veux que je t'aime ou non but that will never change the fact that i would die for you, même si tu pense that i don't even deserve a face to face break up. Je t'aime, even if i don't understand shit."
I don't know if you want me to love you or not but that will never change the fact that I would die for you, even if you think that I don't even deserve a face to face break up. I love you, even if I don't understand shit.
You locked your phone and tossed it aside, grabbing a pillow and holding it against your face, trying to muffle the crying.
You could've told him the reason this was happening but, knowing Charles, he would blame himself for everything. This, this was bad but he didn't have to feel guilty in this scenario. You were withholding all the guilt and you'd be happy bearing it forever if that meant Charles wouldn't be tinged by it.
No matter how bad this was, he would manage to get over it, even if after a while but you knew him and you knew he wouldn't cope well with knowing that he was the reason you fell back into the depths of your past insecurities.
A knock on your door interrupted your crying. You tossed the pillow away and wiped your eyes rapidly with the sweater's sleeves before saying "Come in."
You knew you couldn't avoid your family anymore. They were probably really concerned.
Your older brother peeked his head through the door with a cautious smile on his face.
"Hi." He started, taking just one step into the room and closing the door after him.
"Hey." You tried smiling back but teared up again at the attempt.
"Look, i'm not gonna be nosey." He said before he took a seat on the edge of the bed, "I just need to know if i need to kick some ass or anything. I don't really care that he's Leclerc in this case." He tried to joke.
"Please, if there’s any need to kick his ass i would've done it myself. I don't need any men to do it for me."
Your brother smiled at that, having expected that response.
"However, the only guilty person here is me." You continued and quickly wiped away the tear that escaped.
"Why?" He frowned.
"I left while he was mid-race." You clarified, your teeth abusing your inner cheek between words, "I just don't know how to live the lifestyle he has, you know?"
Your brother looked confused, "Yeah, i'm not buying that, the thing about life with him. You've been together for years, only now you realized his lifestyle? You live together, you're practically married so even when you do actually get legally married, there will barely be any difference." He started analyzing. "Something is off. What's the real reason you left?"
You caved in so fast but you didn't really have any energy in you to resist it.
"I've been getting so much hate, especially when I'm with him at races. I couldn't deal with it anymore."
Your brother, like everyone who knew you and Charles, wasn't a stranger to that. He nodded and appeared to be in deep thought about this.
"Did you try talking to him about it? Charles loves you so much, we can all see it, and i know he would be very understanding and helpful in this situation."
In your mind, the thought of opening up to Charles about this wasn't even present. After all, he also gets a lot of hate too. However, the criticism he received was mostly about his skills as a driver, in other words, nothing he couldn't control and improve. On the other hand, people hated you for you, for simply existing as Charles' partner.
"It's not that simple."
"Oh, but it is. Look, i understand it's difficult to read that shit but it's not right that you left him out of the blue, like you have no respect for what you have, or had, with him."
That angered you so fast, you quickly got off the bed to face your brother.
"Of course i have respect for him and our relationship!I'm- I was engaged to him, for fuck's sake!" The little correction you had to make pained you as it made this situation much realer.
"I'm sorry, but if my partner walked out on me like that, i wouldn't be okay with it. If you want to break up with him for such a vague reason, at least do it to his face. That guy loves you more than i've seen anybody love anyone before and i know you're my sister, but if you treat him like that, after such a difficult race as well, you don't deserve him."
Ever since you heard that last voicemail, there's been a part you've avoided thinking of.
Getting married in winter break, literally in a few months. Instead of that, you left him the ring and took off.
You knew he wanted to marry you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have proposed but the fact that he wanted to do it so soon was unexpected to you. It should've been the happiest surprise, instead it was tugging on your heartstrings.
"He wanted to get married after the season ended, in his winter break." You spoke in a whisper.
Before you could receive a reply, your mother's voice could be heard as she called for your brother.
"Look," he started as he got up, "just call him." He shot an accusatory finger at you, "He had a shit race yesterday and i think you'd be able to find some solutions to this together. " He kept talking until he was out the door.
"Wait!" You called for him, "What position did he end up in?"
"Defended P2 with inters turned into basically slicks but ended up P3 after a five second penalty for cutting a chicane in the last lap. I gotta go."
Needless to say, you couldn't bring yourself to actually call him but you did spend hours staring at his contact name, the little ring emoji you added to it a while back torturing you now. Eventually, you joined your mother in the living room, allowing her to distract you until your brother reappear, asking if you talked to Charles, to which you shook your head then watched him leave the house.
Hours later, you retreated back to your room, laying on your bed and scrolling through twitter again. The notifications had lessened compared to yesterday but there were still there, the hate still being a constant and an arguably increasing reoccurrence. Surprisingly though, it wasn't what you focused on nor what you cried about.
You had been letting the clip of you kissing Charles' forehead during the red flag replay for so long, you'd lost count of how many times it had repeated. All you could focus on was how comforting Charles seemed to find your presence.
Over the years, everyone kept telling you how you were the only person who was able to comfort Charles as more than just some temporary fix. When you were to one to receive him with open arms after an angering or disappointing moment, Charles would calm down within minutes. Even his mother had said that and even Mattia had noticed it, but you never saw it.
However, now that you were stood on the outside, looking into the relationship, you saw it clear as day. In such a stressful and traumatic place and moment, he looked content in a way and it caused you to break down crying, especially as you thought of him bearing the disappointment alone yesterday, only to face something worse when he found out you left.
Eventually, you fell asleep with the video playing.
The next morning, the sound of the doorbell echoed through the house and woke you up. You expected your mother to get it but it rang again and again until you groaned and headed to check who it was while rubbing your eyes with the sleeves of Charles' shirt that you were still wearing.
You checked your reflection on the hallway mirror. Sure, the swollen eyes were still prominent but you hadn't been expecting them to subside any time soon so you sucked it up and padded to the door, swinging it open while tugging the shirt down to cover some skin as you just realized how short the shorts were.
Then, you froze.
All sorts of emotions ran through your body. First, shock because, how and why? Second was some weird sort of relief. Third, and most dominantly, guilt.
Guilt was eating you alive as you stared at the man whose heart you broke. You couldn't bring yourself to move nor to look away but you couldn't really look for any longer.
"Um..." you started fumbling for something to say, rubbing at the back of your neck awkwardly.
"Can i come in?" He asked and even though the sentence was short, it was still enough to show how hoarse his voice sounded.
You nodded and moved aside. Charles immediately made his way inside.
"How- um, why did- You know what i mean." You struggled while closing the door shut.
"You were getting hate and instead of telling me, you left?" He sounded angry and you wanted to strangle your brother for obviously contacting Charles.
"Charles, please... I can't-"
"You can't? Let's say you desperately want go break up with me, why didn't you do it properly? And really? Suzuka out of all places?" He asked, his hands gestures emphasizing his point.
He was right and there was no way to escape that so you fell back into the couch behind you, tugging on your sleeves and picking at the cotton.
Before you knew it, Charles was sat by your side.
"I wasn't really thinking. Everything i read was hitting so close to home and it was giving me some sort of panic attack and i - i'm sorry for leaving like that." Your eyes prickled with tears again.
"The night before, i asked you so many times what was wrong. You had me worried sick when i found you crying. You could've told me - fuck, you should've told me." He sprung back to his feet, rubbing at his face in frustration.
"I didn't want you to know." You spoke quietly.
"Why? I thought we trusted each other with everything! And it's literally something that i caused so deserved to know..." His voice rose.
"See? This is exactly why. You will blame yourself for it. You can't control what some asshole type out on their phones, even if they're your fans. There's nothing you can do to stop it and i can't handle it and revert to being an insecure person so i did us both a favor and left!" You shouted back.
Charles was gaping at you.
"You're giving up that easily on years of us and all the fucking future we've planned? Tout à cause de quelques connards qui se cachent à l'abri de leurs petits écrans?" All because of some assholes hiding in the shelter of their small screens? He was huffing in irony, "If some assholes you don't even know are able to make you insecure, then, je suis désolé bébé, but you've never been confident enough then." Knowing it was a touchy subject, Charles regained his composure and regulated his tone.
"Oh, really? You're telling me how i feel, Charles? You know me better than i know myself? Oh, wow! What a fucking catch i let go of!"
"That's not-" he attempted a reply.
"Shut up."
"Chérie, please."
"Shut up!"
He took his seat back next to you and tried to grab your hand but you snatched it away so fast, making him nod in defeat.
"Okay." He murmured and slacked against the back of the couch, his leg bouncing and shaking the whole sofa with it.
A deafening silence took over for long, painful minutes during which you reverted back to crying while Charles stared blank up at the ceiling.
"What about all the things you say to me after bad races?" He sniffled beside you, making you realize he was crying as well, "All that shit about how we can get through everything together? How we can always be each other's comfort and safety? That there's nothing on this world we can't overcome as long as we keep in mind that's it's us against the problem, not against each other? Why doesn't it apply when it's you that needs me? Why's it only me that shares the issues and problems i'm facing so we can solve them together?" He ranted, not stopping for a breath while he lost control over the tears, "I want to help you through this."
"Arrête, s'il te plaît." Stop, please. You cried harder, got up and started pacing around the room, sobbing into the sleeves, hearing Charles crying too.
You've always been used to solving your problems on your own and while over the years, you learned to share the burden of some issues with Charles, you still couldn't bring yourself to openly talk about things like this, not because you didn't trust him enough to help you, but because you've never been comfortable sharing so much.
You kept walking back and forth, hands covering your bloodshot eyes until you collided against who you knew was Charles.
His arms wrapped around you, even when you tried resisting his touch, pushing against his chest, wanting to get away before you caved in and he knew you enough to know that. Eventually, you broke down in his hold and he let you cry it all out.
"Talk to me, please." He cooed in your ear, dragging you to sit with him on the couch.
You tried not to but it got suffocating and so, the questions rushed out.
"You would tell me if i was annoying you during race weekends, right? If i was limiting your freedom."
With every word, and as he realized the cruel remarks you'd been reading, Charles' heart broke more and more.
"What? I want you by side everyday of my life, chérie!" Subconsciously, and maybe even somewhat protectively, his arms tightened around you.
"They're right, in a way... You could get sick of me faster if i went with you everywhere, and if i kept gaining weight-"
"Baby..." he interrupted, "I don't see a single reason for me to get sick of you. You have a fun and amazing personality, you are so beautiful and you understand me like no one ever has. Every day i'm away from you, i can't wait to go back home because life feels - i don't know the word for it - but it feels full and complete with you. And the weight thing, fuck whoever said that. I wish you would love yourself and your body like i do. You're beautiful in every state."
You cried even harder into his shirt, the words he was saying making you realize it was a huge mistake, allowing anyone to mess with your relationship with him, but him easing your worries wouldn't stop the hate and the both of you knew it.
"I love you, Charlie."
"I love you too."
You sat still in that position for a while and that left you thinking of the way things online would never change, dreading that in fact.
"I know what you're thinking. Oui, on pourra jamais les stopper, j'en sais cela très bien." Yes, we can never stop them, I know that very well. Charles spoke up and you gulped at that, "But you could use it for your entertainment. Listen here, all those things they say, it's out of jealousy. You're at a grand prix and they're saying you never leave me alone? They're jealous you get to go for free and that you're dating a driver. Fuck with their minds, post confusing locations, or rub it in their faces that you're there and they're not. I guess what I'm trying to say is have the upper hand because someone who hates on other people online will always be below them. Let them be the insecure ones and keep in mind, everything that is point out negatively is something that they envy so much that they noticed it." He was speaking and moving his hands up and down your back comfortingly.
"And if a certain comment gets to you, come to me and tell me about it and i will prove it wrong in hundreds of different ways. I don't know of you've seen it bébé, mais tu as tes propre fans même and they are way more than the haters. If anything, that just proves my point that you're just so lovable." …but you even have your own fans…
Charles smiled and tilted your head up so he caught a glimpse of your face.
"Just, please, give us another shot and be completely honest with me. Even if you hide those kinds of things from me again - if you decide you want to stay with me - i will now know to look online when things feel off, so i just want your honesty."
You smiled and nodded, agreeing to everything but slightly confusing Charles.
"Yes to what part exactly?"
"Tout. Je veux tout avec toi. Et je vais toujours être honnête avec toi. Everything. I want everything with you. And I will always be honest with you. But first, i owe you a big apology. What i did was cowardly, the way i ran away. I'm sorry i hurt you, Charles." You kissed his neck, "I'm sorry i confused you and left without even saying goodbye." The kissed moved further up his jaw, "And i'm so sorry that i wasn't there after that shitshow, especially since i knew how stressed the first two laps made you. I feel like an asshole." You sealed the words with a kiss to his lips.
"It's okay, bébé. I understand it now." He pressed your lips together again.
"Doesn't excuse how insensitive i was. Is everyone alright?"
"Yeah, the race finished safely."
You nodded, "That's good." Then, you sat up a bit to see him better, "And as for the championship, your are still my champion and you will be the world's one day. You've got it in you and everyone sees it." Assuringly, you traced your hand softly along his cheek while he stared at you lovingly.
"I'm so lucky that i found you, tu sais?" you know? He pulled you back onto his chest, "Je t'adore." I adore you.
"Je t'adore également, crois moi." I adore you just as much, believe me.
You heard him sigh and relax in relief but he wasn't still for long. Within seconds, you felt him reach for his pant's pocket, digging through it weirdly in this position.
"Give me your hand." Charles instructed and you complied.
"Me donnerais-tu l'honneur de t'épouser, mon amour?" Would you give me the honour to marry you, my love? He asked, holding out the ring.
"Bien sûr." Of course. You chuckled, "L'honneur est vraiment complètement le mien." The honour is completely mine.
The both of you watched your hand as Charles slipped the ring back on your finger where it belongs with a big grin on his face.
Now, everything felt right again and you realized that you'd be able to conquer the world and its critics with this man by your side.
a/n: idk how to feel about the note as a picture so be sure to let me know if it’s s cringey as i find it. Thank you for reading!💕
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