hey i saw your request post and decided to ask you to make a headcanon for dazai and chuuya's s/o reacting to them having a pick me girl friend? the friend then just bothers s/o and say that they are not compatible with them and says they need a s/o who has the same interest thank you!
Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya encountering a 'pick me'
->Dazai Osamu x Reader
->Nakahara Chuuya x Reader
warnings-> language, nothing really
a/n: tysm for requesting, I hope you enjoy <33 requests are open
replogs are appreciated <3
-> Dazai Osamu
you know, having a genius as a boyfriends really is helpful 99.9% of the time.
the day started ordinary, you both woke up, got dressed and headed work.
first thing that happened was that kunikida scolded you both for being late, which you ended up blaming on dazai, who was so dramatic about it, "but my belladonna! you are the one who refused to let me go in bed this morning!"
which was a complete lie, in fact he refused to let you go
so, as punishment for being late, kunikida sent the both of you to go buy supplies for the agency, which you happily agreed to because at least he didn't give you extra paper work (not that dazai would have done it anyways)
the two of you get to the shopping malls and the first thing you do is get ice cream. insisted by Dazai. "baby, you know we're technically on work duty right now yeah?"
"ah, it's just an excuse to spend more time with my belladonna <3"
you are dating a man baby
so fast forward and you're done with the shopping, after three and a half hours. why? because someone kept on getting distracted by bandages sales.
when you're done, you go put all the shopping bags in the car and as you're doing that, Dazai decided to get more ice cream. "here you go my love!" "Dazai, this is our third round of ice cream-"
you take it anyways because you love him so much <3
so now you both are sitting on a bench in the park, enjoying your third round of ice creams.
your mindset is so very calm and peaceful and you're convinced nothing can go wrong as your laughing at dazai's stupid suicide jokes, that include ice cream. yes, his new plan is to commit suicide by drowning in ice cream
that is until you see her
"shit, dazai, hide me!" you whisper scream as you plunge yourself into his neck, trying to hide your face from the girl that everyone hates
dazai is so confused, but the moment he's about to ask, you hear her annoyingly fake high pitched voice, "Oh my! Y/N is that you?"
"fuck me," you whisper as you slowly remove yourself from dazai's neck, who by the way, caught up on what's happening and is shining like the sun, beyond amused
"hey Aiko," you say through gritted teeth, a forced smile on your face.
"My oh my! Who's this man next to you! Don't be a hag, Y/N, introduce us!"
you have to physically stop yourself from pouncing on this woman and beating the fuck out of her.
you open your mouth to reply, but dazai is quicker than you, "She doesn't have to introduce me, I can do that myself. Dazai Osamu, nice to meet you."
you're quite terrified. even though Dazai has a smile on his face, you'd have to be dumb to mishear the very obvious threat behind his words.
"oh wow! Y/N how'd you manage to pull him? he's wayyyyyy out of your league, and wayyyyy to attractive for you"
she giggles after saying that, twisting her fake blonde extensions around her index finger, acting all innocent
all the color of your face has been drained. anyone can see that you're now visibly upset.
Dazai's just smiling, but if looks could kill she'd be dead, twice
"you know, if you want something better, I'm free tonight. I'm sure Y/N has my number, you can ask her for it," she says eyeing you up and down, "I'm not as... basic as all the other girls."
Dazai can't help but let out a chuckle, he finds this very entertaining.
"no thank you, I don't waste my time with worthless whores like yourself. my love is so much more than just manicured nails and fake hair. next time, before opening that worthless mouth of yours, get your facts straight<33"
you have to bite your lip in order not to laugh at her expression. Aiko is frozen in her spot, mouth open in shock.
"would you please move? you're blocking the view," Dazai says with a chuckle
she replies with a mumble of 'whatever' and walks away, her heals clicking loudly on the cement.
"Dazai! I could've handled it! That was going overboard!" you scold him.
"c'mon my belladonna, I saw the way you were trying not to laugh! you were enjoying it as much as I was!"
you giggle in response, nodding your head to agree with him
"besides, no one gets away with insulting you"
he'll always be there <3
-> Nakahara Chuuya
shame, that poor girl
because chuuya loves you so much, he often buys you expensive gifts, such as designer dresses, very price jewellery. you almost always wear the gifts he buys you to work
for some background, you also work at the port mafia. you're one of the top assassins and the top female assassin
everyone knows and doesn't know that you and chuuya are a couple
they've seen how the two of you interact and how he treats you, so they just assume that the two of you are together
but at the same time, they're to scared to actually ask
so therefore, everyone knows and doesn't know
however, there are a couple of people who know about your relationship, mori, kouyou, elise, the akutagawas and a couple of others
so, when you and chuuya are set up to interrogate an absolute whore, it comes to no surprise that chuuya's up on his feet ready to defend you at any moment
unfortunately, you have to start the interrogation alone, since chuuya had an executive meeting
you walk into the room and you've already lost your patience
the girl, named Aimi Tanaka, is slouching in her chair, chewing her gum extremely loudly, and is on her phone, almost like any 14 year old mean girl
you let out a sigh as you mentally prepare yourself for the frustration you're about experience
"good morning, miss Tanaka. I'm here to interrogate you about you boyfriend, Hiroto Ito," you say as you take a seat
"uhm... no. ex-boyfriend, actually," she says, taking a selfie and not even looking at you, still busy on your phone
"right," you mumble as you start questioning her. the first part of the interview went shit, she's barely able to look up from her phone as she's caught up on social media
even when you threated her with a gun, she didn't care
just as you were about to start screaming at her and emotionally fuck her up, Chuuya walked in
"right, I'm here, what are we dealing with?" he asked as he sat beside you
only then, Aimi decided to look up from her phone, giving Chuuya a hungry look. you didn't even try to mask the disgust on your face. she put down her phone, just to look at Chuuya
"well, hello," he giggled, as she pushed herself forward to give him a view of her clearly implanted breasts
Chuuya didn't even hear her, never less look at her as he placed a kiss on your cheek as a greeting, "What have you gotten out of her?"
you let out a sigh, head falling down on the table in despair, "Nothing, Chyuu. absolutely nothing."
only then is when he looked at Aimi, and he immediately understood why.
she was pushing her tits together and batting her eyelashes at him. she's realized that the two of you must be dating, since he had given you a kiss before
just as chuuya was about to threaten her, she started speaking.
she looked him dead in his eyes, mouth curling up into a smirk, "isn't it boring having a boring girlfriend?"
you stared at her in shock, looking at chuuya as he clenched his jaw in anger, but she continued.
"I mean... she's not even pretty! I bet I could give you everything you want and more."
after that, she giggled and gave you a dirty look, "and by the looks of those Louboutins and that Chanel dress she's wearing, I bet you'll be able to keep me happy as well."
Chuuya slammed his fists down onto the table and the girl flinched
"what an absolute whore," he said as he got up, pulling you by the hand and leading you out of the room
before he left, he looked at her fearful face, smirking down at her as he said,
"I don't fuck cheap pussy"
you laugh at his statement as he closed the door, his arm wrapping around your waste, he smashed his lips onto yours. he could feel you giggling into the kiss
"God, I love you," you said against his mouth and he replied by pressing his body harder into yours
Gin awkwardly stood outside, waiting for her next command
Chuuya turns to her, "Deal with her."
she gave him a curt nod and went into the room
the last thing you heard was the screaming of Aimi's voice as you and chuuya went to go eat lunch at a luxurious restaurant
anyone with a brain won't fuck with you becuase they'll know that chuuya will rain hell upon them <33
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