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succubusphan · 9 months

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Two Man Team - Chapter 1

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Tags/warnings: Friends to lovers, Friends with benefits, mental health issues (mainly anxiety), Slow burn, Dan is a psych student. Canon divergence (the timeline is altered and some things never happened), Slutty Phil, Angst with a happy ending. The fic spans many years.

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

POSTING EVERY DAY UNTIL IT'S COMPLETED.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 1: Somebody to Love

June 2005

Phil threw himself onto his bed and looked around at his neon green walls and carpet thinking how little time he had left in his childhood bedroom. He had one last summer in his hometown before uprooting his entire life and moving to York for uni. It was weird, in a way, to be in this sort of limbo where his basic education was over; he no longer felt like a child but didn’t feel like an adult either. It could be because he didn’t feel like he was fully himself, not to anyone he knew - not even his friends.

Could he really call them his friends if they didn’t know who he truly was, if he couldn’t share his attraction to boys like the others shared their crushes on girls and their flings? Maybe it wasn’t fair to think of them as near strangers, it was not their fault that he didn’t feel ready to talk about it. They had all been there for him his entire childhood and he still wasn’t ready. That was on him.

On the other hand, York presented him with a new opportunity, a chance to live his true life and finally get a boyfriend. That’s all he wanted, just - someone to cuddle with. Ok, also other stuff, but he wanted a proper boyfriend. It didn’t hurt to start looking now though.

Phil sat up and reached for his laptop, lifting the screen and connecting to the internet. He clicked on the Explorer icon and waited for everything to load for a few minutes. He logged into a random Yahoo chat room as per usual and greeted the 60 strangers chatting and sending emojis in the hopes of catching someone’s attention.

Snowdude: Hi. Anyone around 18? ;)

A private window popped up immediately.

DanTheMan: hi snowdude XD i’m dan

Snowdude: Hi. als?

DanTheMan: 16/m/reading. u?

Phil hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t often that dudes messaged him. Still, “Dan” was too young and still in school. Well, he didn’t have anything better to do than speak to him.

Snowdude: 18 m York. Are you in school?

DanTheMan: yeah just the A lvls to go. What’s ur favourrtie game?

Phil’s eyebrows shot up at the typo and he snorted.

Snowdude: Final Fantasy 7 is ace.

DanTheMan: ace XD favourite show?

Snowdude: Buffy obviously. What is this, an interview? What’s your favourite subject in school?

DanTheMan: ouch, geography and psych and theatre.

Snowdude: hate geo, you act?

DanTheMan: don’t laugh. i always have but i’m cool.

Snowdude: nothing wrong with it. I’m a terrible actor.

Looking at his ceiling, Phil felt bad for making Dan feel insecure by bringing up school, pointedly marking their age difference. He knew what it was like to be looked down upon by the older kids. He quickly typed another message.

Snowdude: I signed up to art because I thought it would be easy and almost failed. Seems like i suck at art.

DanTheMan: ROFL. ur weird.

DanTheMan: let’s be friends.

Snowdude: Lesbifriends

DanTheMan: forget it lol. I regret asking.

Snowdude: noooooooooooo

DanTheMan: i have to go my mums calling. add me on msn i’m [email protected]

Snowdude: Rawr xD. ACe. Good luck with homework

DanTheMan: fuckoff with your capitalistion and good grammra ttyl

And just like that, Dan exited their chat. Phil smiled and logged into MSN, hesitating only for a second before adding his new friend.

Ian opened their conversation with a buzz as per usual and invited him over to play games with the girls. He hesitated, but another notification popped up and it brought a smile to his face.

GoThic chiK (Anja): coming or not phL?

Phil rolled his eyes, at least Anja would be there and even if he didn’t like girls like that, Anja was always cool. She was like a girl, but also not. Well, she was a girl of course, but she felt like a guy, but not - like him. He didn’t fit in as the kind of man his dad wanted to see in his son and Anja didn’t impress her mother either. Maybe they were losers but they still had each other.

Phil Strikr: omw Annie tell Ian

GoTik chiK (Anja): told you to stop butcherin ma name.

Phil laughed and sent her a buzz before logging out and getting into his favourite blue jeans and a green T-shirt.

The night went by in a breeze, with loads of pizza, drinking and a few rounds of TEG that ended in disaster. He mostly enjoyed it until the topic of dating came up yet again. All the guys had some sort of girlfriend or arrangement and Phil had barely anything to show for. For the umpteenth time, Phil considered coming out to them but he could never bring himself to do it. Maybe one of these days when he was drunk enough.

“Phil, Phil!” Someone said.

Anja snapped her fingers in front of his eyes, startling him and causing him to drop the dice he had been shaking for who knows how long. “Mate, what is it with you today?”

“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about Buffy,” he said.

Anja gave him a look that let him know she was not buying it, but the rest rolled their eyes and continued with their conversation. For a moment Phil thought he was off the hook but Ian looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Phil asked.

Ian sighed heavily. “Sandra asked about you again, mate. When are you going to ask her out?”

Phil tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “I think it would be weird to date your cousin, we are like brothers at this point.”

Ian snorted and shook his head. “We are like brothers but not actually. It’s not like incest or anything.”

“Ew, don’t say that,” Phil said, paling at the thought of Sandra and her wandering hands. He was not going to repeat the mistake of asking her out. One sloppy kiss was more than enough.

Richard, Noah and Keith laughed at the face he pulled but Ian merely smiled at him.

“Oi! Phil is mine, let him be,” Anja said, shuffling closer to him and resting her hand on his thigh.

Phil’s eyes widened but she gave him a small wink before looking back at their friends.

“What? Are you his girlfriend now?” asked Richard with a frown.

“Yeah,” she said, looking uncomfortable at the question. Anja didn’t like Richard like that, she loved him as a friend, but he had a huge crush on her and he was terrible at hiding it. Phil didn’t need to read her mind to know she didn’t want to break his heart or risk their friendship but it was bound to happen eventually.

Wrapping his arm around Anja’s waist loosely, he set his head on her shoulder. “Tell Sandra I’m taken,” Phil said and Anja relaxed against him, letting her head gently rest on his.

Richard looked disappointed but didn’t press the issue any further.

Eventually, the board games stopped being fun and the alcohol ran out so they declared the party over. As soon as Phil said goodbye and stood from his spot Anja followed him, making the others laugh and howl at them, half whispering about what they were going to do in Phil’s bedroom.

Once they were out, Phil turned to look at her. “Do you want me to walk you home?” He asked, hopefully.

“Nah, I was expecting to crash in your bed.” She began the walk back home and Phil followed her.

“What?” Phil squeaked.

Anja laughed and turned towards him, but her eyes looked a bit misty. “Don’t be daft, it’s not that.” She poked him gently, looking into his eyes. “I just feel sad and I don’t wanna be alone right now. I know I can trust you like that.”

“Alright,” Phil said, still walking at her side. “Do you want to talk about it? What happened?”

Anja looked away from him, her eyes focusing on the moon for a moment as she spoke. “I was dating someone but they are not sure about it anymore and it sucks.”

Phil stopped walking and pulled her into a hug. “An- you know you can tell me anything, come stay with me too.”

“I know.” She returned the hug tightly only for a moment before stepping back. “Come on!” She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along. “Kath will be fuming if we are not there before midnight.”

He snorted and laced their fingers together. “I’ll tell my mum you call her Kath behind her back one day, you know?”

“Meh,” Anja shrugged. “She loves me. I’ll live.”

They stayed silent for most of the 20 minute walk home and had to sneak in, but soon enough they were in his room. Phil gave Anja a big T-shirt and a pair of joggers and slipped into his own pyjamas while she changed in the bathroom.

Five minutes later they were looking up at the ceiling as they lay under the covers in the small bed.

“Hey, Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Richard will get over his crush eventually?”

Phil turned on his side to look at her. “Probably, he has gotten over the others.”

She nodded. “Are you seeing anyone that you haven’t told us about?” she asked in a drastic change of topic.

Phil sputtered. “As if anyone would be interested.”

“You have pretty eyes and perfect eyebrows. I wish I had your eyebrows,” Anja said. “You should dye your hair black though, it would make your eyes pop.”

“I don’t know… Would you do it for me?”

“Of course, ginge,” She laughed.

“I’m not a ginger!” Phil whined.

“Course not.” She poked at his stomach. “Good night.”

“Good night, An,” he said and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.

---

It was a weird summer. Anja remained sad for the majority of it but refused to talk about her boyfriend, choosing to focus on giving Phil an extreme makeover instead. She dyed his hair black, took him to the mall to pick up black skinny jeans and to the stylist that had given her her emo haircut to tame his mane.

By the end of it, Phil had perfected a nice image for his MySpace page. He had even ventured into eyeliner for some pictures when he’d gotten bored waiting for Anja to get ready for a party. He’d enjoyed the results and even Ian and the guys said it looked cool on him. Even Dan thought he looked really cool when he saw the pics.

He got to talk to Dan quite a few times as well before going off to uni and caught up with life. It was amazing to learn that they were actually super compatible, liking many of the same games, music and shows. The best part was that Dan said there was a chance he would go to York like him so they could hang out and Phil liked the sound of that, even if Dan was still a full year away from it. Dan was honestly super cool and Phil really had come to consider him a friend in the last few months so it would be super fun to have someone close to hang out and play games with. It sounded like a great plan.

Daydreaming about their potential meet-up was a nice distraction from Dan’s home life, which seemed to be in constant turmoil as Phil came to find over time. There was a reason Dan barely mentioned his younger brother and he had vaguely complained about his father’s rage issues, so Phil always let Dan talk first, and let whatever was troubling him be aired so that he could offer his support or advice if it was needed. Phil also shared some of his issues and insecurities, but his problems were not nearly as bad as Dan’s so he tried to keep things on the positive side and help Dan out.

But Phil wasn’t expecting to catch Dan in a lie only weeks later. As it turned out, Dan had never been 16, he was a 14 year old kid. It was a silly lie, but it still hurt Phil, so he asked Dan to never lie to him again. Dan was very apologetic and begged him not to break their friendship, which Phil had briefly considered, but decided against, especially because of the kind of bullying Dan suffered at school on the regular. After the initial shock had worn off, Phil reassured him that they could be friends, even if they would have to be long distance.

Dan deserved to have supportive friends. He needed someone to be there for him and Phil knew he could be that someone. At an appropriate distance, of course.

It was a bit of a rough patch between them, but after they had resolved the issue, life went on as usual. Phil dived head first into his uni life and there were so many changes. He moved into the dorm and met new people at uni, but sadly, he wasn’t able to stay in touch with his friends back home as much as he’d have liked due to his schedule. In a way, he had inadvertently severed most contact with his life back home, but no matter how much things changed, some stayed the same: his lack of a love life and being trapped in the closet.

He decided that it was time to take his life by the horns and that marked the beginning of a new chapter for him, an exploring phase of sorts. After some consideration, he opened a profile on a dating website, hoping to find a nice guy he could date. His new look did seem to help a lot, but his popularity applied mostly to MySpace. The dating scene seemed a bit dry, or maybe he was just too awkward. There weren't a bunch of messages flooding his inbox by any means.

To be honest, he was starting to get really discouraged, thinking he would never meet someone, but his luck finally changed on a mighty weekend when in a hidden corner of a pub, he got his first taste of freedom. He was blonde and tall and three years older than Phil and his lips were on Phil’s, quickly taking him to heaven, making his blood rush south and his stomach tingle. His hands were inside Phil’s T-shirt and struggling with his jeans’ zipper in less than five minutes. It wasn’t too rough or something that Phil didn’t want, but the speed of it all scared him a bit. It was too much too soon and he wasn’t ready even though he wanted to be, so he took a step back and apologised.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Listen, I’m not out yet, not even to my friends back home, my new uni friends or my roommates.”

The guy nodded and smiled at him. “That’s alright,” he said. “Could I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet up some other time.”

Phil nodded and saved it in the other’s phone, but he was not going to trick himself into thinking he was going to get a text. His chances were slim.

They parted ways with a quick kiss, which surprised Phil. He let out a deep sigh as he watched the blonde disappear into the crowd and surveyed the pub in search of his friends.

Towering over most people did come in handy and allowed him to locate his roommates in under a minute. Phil tried to put on a brave smile as he made his way to them and accepted a beer, taking a zip and groaning at the bitter taste. It was performative and he knew it, but he didn’t know what else to do, so he followed along with what everyone was doing. He got drunk - and even made out with a girl briefly just out of boredom.

He felt nothing, nothing at all, but his roommates cheered him on and the girl seemed happy enough.

That made one of them.

Once back in his room, Phil put his phone to charge and turned it on. There were a few missed calls and texts from Dan, asking if he was free to talk. Phil got a bad feeling about it and tried to call him but Dan didn’t pick up. Maybe it was too late and he had fallen asleep. Biting the inside of his cheek, Phil hesitated before sending a text.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, I was out until just now and my phone had died X.x . I’m free to talk in the morning!”

Phil lay in bed for what seemed like forever, the room spinning a bit around him, as he thought about the blonde guy, the boring night, the girl he kissed - and Dan. He wished he would have stayed home and talked to Dan, maybe played some games, or talked about school. It was sad that he got along better with a 14 year old than his own friends. What did that say about him? He fell into a fitful night of sleep just as the sun rose above the clouds.

The talk with Dan didn’t come the next day, or the following one. In fact, Dan stopped replying entirely for over a week and Phil’s stomach was twisted into knots. Over twenty messages unanswered could only mean bad news, right?

The following weekend, Phil sent yet another text: “Please, Dan. Just let me know that you are ok.”

Ten minutes later, his phone finally vibrated. “im ok. stop.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears. “I’m so sorry, Dan. I’ve been worried about you. I went out and had so many calls and missed texts, I thought something had happened and you needed to talk. It’s ok if you don’t want to, I just didn’t want you to think that I didn’t care. Sorry I missed your call.”

His screen lit up with a call immediately and Dan’s raspy voice greeted him on the other side. “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s ok,” Phil said, trying to calm himself down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. He swallowed thick and attempted a small smile, even if Dan could not see it. “What did you want to talk about?”

Dan was silent for a moment, but then he let out a tired sigh. “Nothing much, it’s fine.”

“You can tell me, you know you can,” Phil said with a frown.

“Last weekend I went to the mall and I had some problems with the usual shitheads…” he trailed off.

“Did they throw rocks at you again?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. And on Monday -” Dan paused.

“What happened on Monday?” Phil asked, frowning at the pain he could hear in Dan’s voice.

“One of the idiots grabbed me by the neck and slapped me for like 5 minutes,” Dan mumbled. “And I know what you’re going to say, one of the teachers saw and did nothing. He even laughed.”

“Dan,” Phil said, his heart breaking for his friend. “I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that. I wish I could be there to help you.”

“It’s fine,” Dan said in a monotone voice. “I didn’t react, I didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.”

“It takes a lot of courage not to fight back. You were very brave.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dan muttered. “Almost gave them another satisfaction.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so tired sometimes, you know? Just so tired.” Then, Dan cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’ve been staying with my grandma since Tuesday, so I’m ok.”

Phil had to clear his throat too, trying not to get choked up by what Dan was implying. “You have to get good grades so you can get into uni and we can hang out, ok?”

Dan snorted. “As if you would hang out with me. You’re cool and I’m just a 14 year old loser.”

“You’re not a loser. You’re kind, and funny, and one of the coolest people I know. I know that one day you will be a great guy. Maybe you’ll be a famous actor, like you’ve always wanted.”

“Yeah… maybe,” Dan said. “Wanna play Mario Kart later? I have homework.”

Phil looked at the time, it was already late, but a few races wouldn’t hurt. “Sure. Text me when you’re done.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said and Phil could picture a little smile on his face.

“No problem. See you later.”

“Yeah. Hey, can I follow your MySpace?” Dan asked.

“You can follow me anywhere,” Phil said. “We are friends.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dan snorted. “See you later, Philly.”

Phil rolled his eyes and hung up the phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, he decided to do the “adult thing” and study a little more for the exam he had the following morning so that he could join Dan online later. It was not a lot, but he felt better now that Dan knew Phil was on his side and he cared.

That night, Phil stayed on his DS until 4, but he managed to get a passing grade on the exam anyway. He rewarded himself with a 10 hour nap afterwards.

All through his first term at uni, Phil tried his best to keep in touch with Dan, but with his tight study schedule, the weekends pretending to be straight and attempting to not stress himself half to death with his new chaotic life, it was getting increasingly difficult.

Before long, Phil had to make a drastic choice. Something needed to change and he knew exactly what was the worst stressor for him: his straight-sex-maniac persona. And so it was decided.

He invited his four roommates to their very limited common space and paced in the square foot of floor he had available to himself waving his hands around without uttering a word until one of the guys asked if he was ok.

No, Phil was not ok at all, he was nearly crawling up the wall, so instead of giving a carefully planned and rehearsed speech, he stopped short of the wall, turned around and said: “I lied… I am not super experienced, I don’t have a lot of sex experience. In fact, I have zero experience, because… because I’m gay. I’m sorry that I lied, I just wanted you guys to like me, you are all so cool. I wanted to be your friend. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand. I-”

Peter got up from the armrest of the sofa, causing Phil to take a step back just in case, and gave him a hard pat on the shoulder. “It’s ok. We are all figuring things out,” he said. “Also, Sarah will be happy to know that you are not disgusted by her presence, you’re just thick as all fuck and gay. Right, Sarah?”

“You like me?” Phil squeaked, turning towards the popular blonde girl. She was super nice and also pretty, but she was still not a guy, so there was not even a chance.

“I do. I did, but it’s ok. We can be friends,” she said with a smile.

“We can?” Phil croaked.

Sarah nodded. “You’re a good guy, Phil. Why wouldn’t I want to be your friend? And the fact that you are not opposed to a little makeup also plays in your favour.”

Peter clapped once and rushed to the fridge. He got the Malibu out of the freezer, messily pouring the alcohol into various glasses and mugs and other liquid-holding implements before turning around to face the group and raising his glass. “To Phil, the gayest emo York has ever seen - and a good friend too!” He downed his drink without waiting for anyone else.

Sarah walked over to the kitchenette and grabbed a shot glass, raising it towards Phil with an encouraging smile. “Cheers,” she said and downed her drink. She then passed a repurposed laundry detergent cap full of Malibu to Phil.

“Thank you,” he said, hoping that his eyes could convey the gratitude he felt. “Cheers,” he said and drank the entire thing.

Jimmy and Callan, who had been quiet until now, stood from the sofa and grabbed a mug each, raising them to Phil.

“To Phil, the gay emo,” said Callan with a smirk.

“We can still be friends even if you’re gay and your willy is bigger than all of ours,” Jimmy said with a nod and necked his drink.

Phil laughed. “Stop talking about my dick, Jimmy. You saw nothing!”

“I will when it stops looking back at me every time you sit,” Jimmy cackled.

Phil threw the laundry detergent cap at his head, hitting the target and causing the group to laugh. Hours later, he crawled into his tiny bed and felt the effects of all the alcohol he had consumed rock him gently, like the waves in the sea. He let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his lips as he remembered how the night had started. His coming out had been awkward but still a success. Now he could truly be himself, at least in York, and he couldn’t wait until he was able to live his life fully everywhere.

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #succubusphan fics #dan and phil #phan au #ospbb 2023

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succubusphan · 8 months

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Two Man Team - Chapter 13

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Rating: E

Author's Note: Written for the OSPBB 2023 @oldschoolpbb. Thank you @effingmeteors for being my life saviour and beta as usual and to my artist Lin @anironsidh.

Edits and the art will be added at some point, we are busy bees.

This is basically the epilogue, thank you for joining me in this journey and I hope you enjoyed the ride.

Total Word Count: 75k ish

Read on Ao3

CHAPTER 13: Two Man Team

January of 2019

Having spent the holidays with his family without telling them about Dan was harder than Phil had expected, but he needed to discuss the situation with Dan first. They of course knew that Dan had returned to YouTube and that they had rekindled their friendship, but Phil had avoided any further questions on the topic.

After a bit of back and forth, he and Dan decided that keeping appearances for Phil’s birthday at the end of the month was not really an option, so they sat down on the sofa fumbling with Phil’s phone, opening his mum’s contact and finally hitting the facetime button on accident when he almost dropped his phone to the floor.

“Child!” Phil’s mother said.

Phil scrambled to set the camera to his face without showing Dan. “Hi, Mum!” he replied, his voice cracking from the nerves as if he was 15 all over again. “How are you?”

“Doing well, you know, tending to the garden,” she smiled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing?” he said, sounding like it was definitely something.

“Phil, I am your mother. Don’t try to lie, you are terrible at it.”

“I just - wanted to tell you something,” he said, biting his lip.

“Are you ill?” She asked, sounding quite concerned, her face falling.

“No! Not at all. I’m seeing someone,” he said and almost slapped himself. Dan gave him a reproachful look. They were a bit past the “seeing each other” stage.

“Oh!” She said, her smile returning. “You have a partner?”

“Yes! I actually misspoke. I do have a partner,” he clarified.

“Well, that’s quite nice. How long have you been together?”

Phil looked at Dan with wide eyes, there were so many possible answers to that question. Dan shrugged and mouthed an “October?” at him.

“Uh, October - ish,” Phil said, looking back at her. “We were seeing where things were going but we - made it official in October.”

“Why didn’t you bring them over for Christmas?” She asked.

She was trying not to push, Phil could tell, but after he posted his coming out, there was no need to keep beating around the bush. “He, Mum, we can say it. It’s a man.”

She laughed, letting out a happy sigh. “Oh, I’m glad, Child. I didn’t want to assume or offend you. You know how much your father and I love you, we just want you to be happy.”

Phil did know, but he smiled nonetheless. “Yeah…”

“What can you tell me about your partner - boyfriend?”

“It’s D-Dan!” he said, with a nervous laugh. “And… well, you know Dan.”

“Oh, dear! I love Dan! What a sweet boy! Oh, Phil, that is just wonderful,” she said, sounding genuinely happy. “Since October?” she prodded, narrowing her eyes.

Phil laughed and looked at Dan’s beaming face, gesturing for him to speak up, but Dan only made a silly face at him.

“Yes!” Phil said. “I swear, since October. We took things slowly because of… the time we were apart.”

“Hiiii!” said Dan as Phil turned the phone towards him.

“Oh, hi love! How have you been?” She asked, “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, he can hear you,” Phil said.

“I’m doing well, very happy,” Dan said, with that tone he’d always used with Phil’s mum. He had always been a sweet talker.

“That’s all that matters then! Phil, you have to bring him over for your birthday!”

“Yes!” Dan said before Phil could reply. “I accept the invitation!”

Phil poked his side as they both laughed. “We’ll be there for the weekend.”

“Martyn and Cornelia are coming as well!” She said.

“Who is that?” Asked Phil’s dad in the background.

“It’s Phil! Do you want to talk to him?”

His father didn’t reply to her and just grabbed the phone. “Hello, son,” he said merrily. “Are you coming to us for your birthday?”

“Yeah,” he said and hesitated for only a second but that was enough.

“He has a boyfriend!” His mum said, sounding almost more excited about it than Phil.

“Oh! A boyfriend! That’s nice. Is he treating you well?”

“No, he’s horrible to me!” Phil said, theatrically.

“Shut up!” said Dan, blushing and slapping his arm.

“I know that voice! Don’t I know that voice?” Phil’s dad asked away from the phone.

“It’s Dan!” said his mum.

“Yeah, It’s Dan,” said Phil, still giggling about his little joke and the effect it had on Dan.

“Hi, Dan!” His dad said. “You found yourself a nice boyfriend there?”

Dan squished his face to Phil’s to be in frame “Sometimes I’m inclined to believe that no,” he laughed.

“I’ll have you know I’m a wonderful boyfriend,” Phil said.

Dan gave him a look and a cheeky smile. “He leaves every cupboard open after making coffees he doesn’t actually drink until they are cold.”

“Spend a lot of time with him?” Phil’s dad asked, reading between the lines.

“He stayed over one day and never left,” Phil said, with a laugh.

“Don’t say that, they will think I’m just leeching here,” Dan said, swatting at him. “I moved in recently, when my lease was up.”

“You could have come for Christmas then,” commented Phil’s mum.

“His family wanted him with them as well, Mum. Don’t worry, I will drag him over soon.”

“Good, you do that,” Phil’s father said. “Dan, take care of him for me.”

“I will,” Dan said with a small smile.

“See you then,” Phil’s dad said. “Bye!”

“Bye!” Dan and Phil said in unison, making his mum laugh.

“Bye, boys!” She said and disconnected the call.

“That went better than expected,” Dan said, pressing a small kiss to his lips.

“It was good,” Phil agreed and wrapped his arms around Dan’s frame. “I’m glad that they were so calm about it.”

“It’s because they knew, or they suspected. Your dad definitely knew.”

“He has been onto us since the beginning.”

Dan tsked. “I don’t think we were as slick as we thought we were.”

“Probably not,” Phil snorted.

---

When the weekend of Phil’s birthday finally rolled around, he and Dan were in a bit of a panic.

Even though the phone call with the announcement had gone fairly well, it was a bit nerve wracking for Phil because he had never officially introduced anyone as a boyfriend. His family knew that he was gay but it wasn’t something that he really talked about. They had sort of figured it out on their own and were kind enough not to bother him about it. And Dan was nervous to see Phil’s parents again as Phil’s boyfriend, this was also a new experience for him and he was still getting used to being out of the closet.

As soon as they set foot in his parents’ house, Phil’s mum pulled Dan into a hug and pinched his cheek, which was quite hard because of the height difference. Still, Dan bent down and let her enjoy herself. He beamed as Phil’s parents welcomed him in without a hint of awkwardness.

“Go take your bags upstairs and come back down to sit by the fire, we’ll be right over with some tea,” his mum said, gesturing to the sofas by the fireplace on her way to the kitchen with her husband in tow.

Phil didn’t need to be told twice. With the wind raging outside and snow threatening to fall, by the fire was exactly where he wanted to be. He took Dan’s coat and put it away before leading his boyfriend to one of the two guest bedrooms. It was decorated in muted colours and consisted of a double bed, two bedside tables and a few decorative items. Phil looked around and sighed, wishing that they were still at his old family home; this one didn’t hold the same memories.

Dan wrapped his arms around him, hugging him from behind. “Everything ok?” He asked, resting his chin on Phil’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I was just thinking.”

“What about?” Dan said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“I wish we could go back to the old house.”

“Hmm, the place where we first got together,” Dan mused. “That would be nice, but we can make new memories here.”

“Yeah,” Phil said and turned around, resting his arms on Dan’s shoulder and leaning in for a kiss.

Dan shoved his cold hands under Phil’s hoodie making him squirm and jump back with a laugh.

“You beast!” Phil said.

“Better?” Dan smirked.

“Yeah, but I’ll get you later!”

“Can’t wait,” Dan said, wiggling his eyebrows and walking out the door.

Phil shook his head and followed after him, catching up to Dan who was already on the sofa and sitting at his side, leaving the two armchairs across the coffee table for his parents.

Dan stretched his arms towards the fire and rubbed them together. “I am finally starting to feel my fingers again.”

“I wish I could climb inside the fire,” Phil added and Dan gave him a warning look. “It was just an expression.”

He knew that Phil was not being serious but with how prone to accidents he was, they could never be too safe. “I miss having a fireplace,” lamented Dan and Phil made a mental note of that.

“At least we have an aircon,” Phil commented, rubbing Dan’s back.

“True, but it’s hard to appreciate it during the winter months.”

“Here we are!” Phil’s mum said, walking over and narrowly avoiding dropping the tray before setting it down on the coffee table. “Milk, Dan?” She gave them a little smile when she saw Phil’s hands on Dan’s back.

“Yes, please,” Dan said, clearing his throat.

His dad sat down and reached for his own cup, adding sugar and stirring before taking a sip and smiling happily.

“You look so handsome,” his mum said, handing the cup to Dan. “Is this your natural hair?”

“No, I got a perm,” Dan laughed and Phil saw him relaxing a bit into his spot on the sofa. He took a sip of his tea and hummed. “Yes, it is my natural hair. I just didn’t like it before.”

“I think it’s an improvement from your previous look,” she smiled, blowing into her cup as she stirred her tea.

“Oh, absolutely,” he said, pausing. “So, how are you two doing? Do you enjoy living on the Island?”

Phil’s dad nodded. “Yes, I think this is one of the best decisions we ever made. We loved our house, but this is the perfect place to retire to.”

“We like to go on walks around the cliffs on most days,” she added. “I find the sea breeze refreshing and calming.”

“Sounds like paradise,” Dan said.

Phil could tell what his parents were hinting at so he decided to stir the conversation away from that topic. “When are Mar and Corn getting here?” He said, finally reaching for his own cup and taking a tentative sip, humming gleefully when he tasted the honey.

“Tomorrow, sometime after 3, I believe,” his dad said.

“Good!” Phil replied. “I think he will be happy to see Dan again.”

“Does Martyn know?” His mother asked.

“No. I mean, he probably did, but no, nobody knew for certain. Just Mark and his boyfriend and we told Anja recently.”

Dan nodded. “We were not trying to be super secretive about it, but we wanted to make sure that things were working properly before we told anyone else, if that makes sense?”

“Can I ask something?” She asked.

“Of course, anything,” Dan said, and Phil was tempted to say that maybe not anything but kept quiet.

“You know, Phil never said anything to us, but I thought you were dating back in the day. Then it made sense to me that Phil didn’t bring any girls over, just you. And Anja.”

“It was not like that with Dan - or with Anja.”

Dan made a noncommittal face. “It was kind of like that, but not really. We liked each other, definitely, but we weren’t officially dating, I would say.”

“We weren’t,” Phil said. “And Anja is a lesbian; she has had a girlfriend since… 2011 I believe. I introduced them.”

“You didn’t date Anja then?” She asked.

Phil shook his head. “No, she stayed because I was her gay friend and she knew it was safe.”

“Oh, and then she came over with a girl… and you slept on the sofa.” She pressed her hand to her forehead. “I thought you were just embarrassed to send her friend to the sofa to have some privacy,” she said in wonder.

“Mum!” Phil said, feeling the heat rising to his face. “I would have never done that with you in the house.”

Dan laughed.

“Are all of your friends gay?” His dad asked.

Phil hummed. “Not every single friend, but I would say that most friends I’ve made in the last few years are gay. We just understand each other better.”

Dan nodded. “I grew up and found out that not only were some of my bullies gay but most of my friends too, even though none of us were out at the time, and some of us didn’t even know yet.”

“I suppose that you find people that you can relate to and have things in common, if that’s being gay, or knitting, or having a book club, right?” His mum asked.

“That’s a good point,” Dan said.

Then his dad looked at Phil and caught him off guard. “Dan stayed over quite often when travelled,” he commented with an amused smile, apparently realising what Phil hadn’t meant to imply before.

Phil coughed but his mum was thankfully ready to save him.

“It’s so wonderful that you are back together now,” She said.

Dan nodded. “It took some time, but he thankfully listened to me when I apologised and explained myself.”

“Phil can be a little stubborn,” she conceded.

“He was more than a little stubborn, but I deserved it,” Dan said. “It was not easy, but I’m glad he had it in him to forgive me,” he reached towards Phil and laced their fingers together.

The butterflies in Phil’s stomach were still there and he could feel himself blushing, but when he looked at his parents he saw nothing but acceptance and perhaps a little relief that he wasn’t going to die alone after all.

“You seem like a good match,” his dad said with a gentle smile.

Phil’s heart burst with happiness. He could hear the pride in his father’s voice, the pride he had wanted to hear his entire life. “Thank you,” he said, clearing his throat as he tried to not get overly emotional.

“So how is… work?” His dad asked.

“Quite good,” Phil said, feeling thankful to have something else to focus on. “I have exciting projects going and Dan too.”

“Anything you can share?” He asked.

“Not yet, but you will know soon enough,” Phil said.

“Please give us a warning if it’s something important so we don’t hear about it from the neighbours,” his mum said.

Phil winced and mumbled an “Alright.” He took a long sip from his cup. “I didn’t tell them before posting my coming out,” he mumbled in Dan’s general direction.

“You didn’t tell them before posting?” Dan asked, looking at Phil out of the corner of his eye.

“No, he doesn’t tell us much these days,” She said, a bit too dramatically.

“Don’t say that, I just figured you knew already,” Phil said, snorting. “And I forgot.”

“We knew but we didn’t know!” She said. “And then we watched Dan’s video - which was so wonderful by the way - and we finally got some idea of what went on in your life.”

Phil huffed, starting to get a bit annoyed.

“Thank you,” Dan said. “It was a lot of work but I’m glad that you liked it.” He squeezed Phil’s hand in support.

Phil was grateful that his boyfriend knew how to suck up to his mum and stir the conversation away from him and how bad of a son he was.

“It was very emotional,” she said. “I quite enjoyed it, even though it had some sad parts. I wish you didn’t have to go through that.” She looked at Dan with deep sadness in her eyes.

“Well, it all turned me into a person I’m proud to be today,” Dan said.

“We are proud of you too, Dan,” his dad said and before Dan could react, he continued. “Actually, if you could come with me, I want to show you something.” He got up to his feet.

“Of course,” Dan said and followed him to his office, throwing Phil a confused look over his shoulder.

“Come,” Phil’s mum whispered then. She grabbed their coats and took his hand, pulling him through the sliding door and out to the garden.

“It’s way too cold to be out,” Phil said, sipping his jacket on and pulling his gloves out of his pocket.

“Oh, it will boost your immune system,” she said, holding onto his arm as they walked slowly in circles around the garden. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I told you, I am happy with Dan.” He interlaced his fingers to make sure his gloves were properly fitted.

“I know, I know. You do look happy, but I worry sometimes,” she said. “After Dan left - you weren’t the same for a long time. I don’t think you are the same, even now.”

“Neither is he. We both went through quite a bit of pain together and on our own,” Phil admitted. “And nobody is the same at 31 than at twenty-something.”

“That’s fair. I am just a bit scared for you too, even though I know Dan is a good boy.”

“We will be alright this time, Mum,” he reassured her. “The thing you don’t understand is that with him in the closet and me being only partially out, things were never going to work. At the time Dan wasn’t even able to accept himself, so dealing with that publicly on top of our feelings was too much.”

“My heart breaks for him,” she said. “I’m sure the relationship will work this time.” She patted Phil’s arm

“You can never be 100% sure of anything, but it took almost a year to get back to a place where we were comfortable enough to start dating again and we haven’t had any major issues,” Phil said.

She let out a deep sigh of relief and smiled widely. “I’m glad to hear that, Child. You two deserve to be happy and it seems that you are determined to be together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing bad. You fought through any sort of problem that came your way to make it to the other side and I think that’s what matters. No relationship comes without obstacles, the important thing is that you work to sort through them.”

He nodded. “Do you and Dad argue a lot now that you are retired?”

“Not much anymore,” she said, patting his hand. “We know who we are and what to do to avoid creating arguments. And we still love each other.”

Phil smiled. “What’s your secret?” He asked.

Humming, she paused for a moment before replying. “Don’t hang on to silly tiffs and never go to sleep angry. Solve your arguments before bed. That’s what your grandma told me and It worked well.”

“I will,” Phil said, getting lost in thought when he realised that the two year anniversary of his grandma’s death was coming. He missed her so much.

His mum caught up to the reason for his silence. “She was very proud of you, you know?” She said, “A few years ago, she asked if you were dating anyone and I told her that I believed so. That made her happy, even when I told her that it might be a boy.”

Phil’s eyes welled up with tears briefly. He wished he’d had that conversation with her but she had gotten ill and passed before Phil could make his way back. He shouldn’t have waited so long to talk to her about it. At least now he knew that she supported him. “Do you think she would have liked Dan?” he asked.

“She would have loved to meet Dan, but she knew of him from YouTube,” she said.

Phil’s eyebrows burrowed into a frown. “How?”

“You have to remember that Dan was the only person you brought home so I showed her a few of the videos you made together.”

“Oh my god! What videos?” Phil asked, half amused, half horrified. A single tear slid down his cheek but he rubbed it away quickly. Sniffling through the laugh.

“Only the more innocent ones,” she said, raising one eyebrow at him.

“I can’t believe you showed her that. You like to gossip way too much,” Phil said.

She booped the tip of his nose. “And you took after me, so I don’t want to hear it, dear.”

“Alright,” Phil said. “Thank you for the advice and for showing grandma a part of me I didn’t have the chance to share with her. It means more to me than you know.” He turned towards her and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she smiled. “Let’s go back inside, you are shaking like a leaf.”

They made their way back into the house and Phil could still hear his dad’s voice faintly mid-conversation.

“...You make him happy. We were so worried about him these past few years,” he said. “I wanted you to know that you will always be welcome in this house.”

“Thank you, Mr Lester,” Dan said.

“Nigel,” his dad said. “In your video, you said that your father didn’t take your … email very well. Right?”

“No,” Dan mumbled.

Phil followed their voices and stood in the hallway, shamelessly listening in.

“Sometimes the people we love are the ones that hurt us the most, but the good thing is that we can find other people to love. We are your family, Dan.”

“I -” Dan paused. “Thank you, you don’t know how much this means…”

Phil turned around the corner and saw Dan hugging his dad tightly. He stood there for a moment, staring at the scene with a shocked smile and retreated to the downstairs bathroom to give them some privacy and compose himself. He looked in the mirror and smiled, still a little moved by his parents’ reaction, he hadn’t expected this much support from them, and now he felt guilty for ever doubting them.

After a few minutes, he joined his mother in setting the table.

Dinner went without a hitch and it came with a much lighter tone. They shared a bottle of wine over pasta and played Scrabble past midnight when his mum finally deemed the night over.

They said their goodbyes and climbed up the stairs to the guest bedroom. The bed looked so soft and comfortable it was basically screaming Phil’s name. He slipped into his pyjamas quickly to avoid the biting cold and slid under the covers.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Cold?”

“Uh-huh. Aren’t you?” Phil mumbled, only his eyes peeking from under his burrow.

“Not that much. I think the wine got to me.” He took off his jeans and pulled on a different hoodie before getting under the covers and scooching closer to Phil. “Come here,” Dan said, pulling him into a hug and dropping a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Phil sighed happily, slipping his fingers into the curls on the back of Dan’s hair that was beginning to grow just a bit too long for Dan’s taste. “Love you,” he said, leaning in for a slow kiss.

Dan’s hold on him tightened, his hand sliding under Phil’s pyjama top and resting on his lower back.

There was no urgency, no heat, just comfort and familiarity. Phil knew that if he chose to push Dan in the slightest way, he would probably jump at the opportunity to have sex, but they would have their fun at home. Home. The flat they shared for the time being before -

He smiled and broke the kiss, staring into Dan’s eyes in the moonlight.

“Winter is my favourite. I love the cold because I can hold you like this and sleep without us drowning in a pool of sweat,” Dan laughed.

“We can do this all year, you just have to program the aircon fairly low. You are like a tiny oven.”

“I’m not tiny,” Dan pouted.

“You will always be the tiniest of babies to me,” Phil teased.

“Shut up, old man,” Dan said, letting out a yawn. “Big spoon or little spoon?”

“Mmmm, big spoon,” Phil said, wrapping his arms around Dan’s torso when he turned around. He kissed Dan’s shoulders and threw one leg over Dan’s, tangling it between his feet and smiled.

“You’re a weird one, Lester.”

“Your mum is weird,” Phil mumbled and shut his eyes.

“Happy birthday, Babe,” mumbled Dan.

“Mmm, thanks.”

This was going to be his best year, he could already tell.

---

The following morning, Phil woke up to his mum shaking him by the shoulder. He threw a hand over his eyes to let them adjust to the brightness. “Mum!” Phil whines, stretching his hand in search of Dan.

“Happy birthday, love!” She said. “Dan is already dressed and sitting down for breakfast. Wouldn’t you like to join us?”

Phil groaned. Why did Dan have to suck up to his parents by getting up early too? It was his birthday, he could have slept in. “What time is it?”

“It’s eleven already, so up, up! Off you go to the bathroom,” she said. “I made pancakes!”

Phil’s eyes widened. The one thing his mum didn’t ruin or burn to a crisp. “Alright!” He said and got up, changing into a warmer hoodie and heading downstairs after a pit stop at the bathroom.

“A pit stop,” he mumbled to himself with a snort. He needed to stop watching Formula 1 with Dan.

“There he is!” his dad said as soon as Phil walked into the kitchen, making him smile. “Happy birthday, son.”

“Thank you,” Phil said.

Dan reached out to him and pulled him by the hand to sit at his side. He leaned in to kiss his cheek and whispered a “Happy birthday, Love,” into his ear.

Phil smiled so widely he thought his face might just split from the happiness and then he made eye contact with his mum, who had watched the interaction closely and blushed.

At least she looked happy for him but it was a bit embarrassing. On the other hand, Phil couldn’t help but notice that Dan didn’t completely avoid PDA, he just kept them at a minimum. It was not something that they had discussed, but Phil wouldn’t have expected Dan to be ok with something like this after being in the closet for so long. It was a good birthday surprise.

“Sleep well?” asked Dan.

Phil nodded, reaching across the table for his coffee mug.

“Well, wait a minute,” his mum said, squeezing lemon on top of his pancakes and sprinkling them with sugar before handing him the plate.

“Do you want to share?” He asked Dan.

“I already ate mine. These are all yours.”

“You didn’t wait for me?” Phil pouted.

“I was hungry, bitch. I woke up at 9!” Dan teased.

“Wow, you should have woken me up!”

“Please, I know how you get - and it’s your birthday.” Dan gave him a look.

“I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfect angel,” Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes at him and snorted.

“Martyn will be here around 3 so that’s when I will serve the roast and we can cut the cake after. Is that ok?” his mum asked.

“Yes,” Phil said. “Our flight it’s not until 9 so we can leave around 7.”

“What a pitty that you couldn't stay a bit longer,” his dad said.

“I know, I’m sorry but we have work. We will visit again at some point,” Phil said.

“I hope that you can visit in a few months and stay over,” Dan said. “I am going on tour with a new project and I would love it if you could come.”

“Of course!” Phil’s mum said. “Will your mother be there?”

“Um, sure. We can get tickets for both families on the same date,” Dan said.

“Wonderful!” she said with a smile.

“When will it be?” Phil’s dad asked.

“Closer to the end of the year. I will let you know exactly when the producers tell me,” Dan said.

Phil looked between Dan and his mum, smiling at how sweetly she was pushing him into a corner to make a family reunion happen as soon as possible even with them living on opposite ends of the country. Still, he decided to rescue his boyfriend.

“Do you need help with anything, Dad?” Phil asked.

“Yes, actually! You can start chopping the onions and peeling potatoes,” he said. “Dan, do you think you can run to the store and get some more wine?”

“Yes, absolutely!” said Dan, surely aching to escape Phil’s mum’s interrogation.

“I will walk with you, dear,” she said, already reaching for her coat before Dan could say no.

Phil snorted and went in search of the onions. When he got back into the kitchen, his dad was waiting for him with a small framed art piece. He had to pause for a moment. He placed his hand on his heart and grabbed it with shaky hands. It was a charcoal drawing of the last picture Phil had taken with his parents and his grandma, but his dad had added Dan in. His eyes welled up in tears and he set the picture on the counter before pulling his dad into a tight hug with a choked sob. “T-thank you!”

His dad rubbed his back and Phil couldn’t remember a single time they had hugged like this since he’d been a child. He made sure to account for every detail of the way his father was holding him, comforting him.

“I’m proud of you, son,” he said.

“Thank you,” Phil mumbled. He didn’t want to have any regrets. One day his father would be gone and he wouldn’t have any other time to tell him. He remembered his vow to tell the people he loved the most just how much they meant to him, but his dad had somehow been skipped. Well, not somehow. They were men, they just didn’t do this type of thing, not since Phil had turned into an adult, but Phil didn’t want to continue on like that. “I love you, Dad.”

“I love you too,” his dad said with no hesitation.

They finished cooking side by side, swaying to the music playing in the radio in amicable silence.

By half past three, the roast was ready, Martyn and Cornelia were washing up, and Dan and Phil were setting the table. In one of Phil’s trips to the kitchen, Martyn caught him by the hand and asked him to follow him out to the garden.

Phil immediately regretted not taking a moment to grab a coat, but at least Martyn didn’t seem to be doing any better. “Fuck, Mar. What is it?”

“Shh! I don’t want Mum to hear. I just wanted to check something with you.”

“Yeah, what happened?” asked Phil, feeling a bit worried already.

“So - Cornelia and I have something to announce and we were waiting to do it in person but it’s your birthday… and I don’t think we'll be coming back here for a while so I wanted to check with you.” Martyn bit his lip. “Would you mind?”

“Announcing what?” Phil asked.

Martyn looked into the house, checking that no one was snooping on them, and whispered: “We’re having a baby!”

Phil’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to let out a squeal of delight but Martyn knew him too well and covered his mouth and nose for good measure.

“Don’t!” he whispered. “I will let you go but don’t scream!”

Phil nodded and once Martyn released him, Phil grabbed him by his jumper and shook him slightly. “I am going to be an uncle?!” he whisper-shouted.

“Yeah!” Martyn laughed and nodded, looking just as excited as Phil was, maybe even a bit more.

“Alright, that has to be the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. I am going to spoil your kid so badly, you’re going to hate me,” Phil said.

“I already hate you,” he said with a laugh and Phil punched his arm.

The sliding door opened and Dan peeked his head out. “Lester! Don’t leave me to set the table alone just because it’s your birthday.” Then he disappeared without waiting for a reply.

“He has you on a short leash,” Martyn said with an amused smile.

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Been thinking of running away…”

“Dork!” Martyn said and walked inside.

Phil followed after him, lost in thought at the notion that his brother was going to be a father. Dan gave him a weird look but Phil just shrugged and carried the Yorkshire puddings and black currant sauce to the table. Dan had already brought the meat and roasted potatoes.

His mum went around serving wine and Phil realised that she would soon notice Cornelia wasn’t drinking. “Oh, let me do that,” he said. “Dan, can you bring the Ribena from the fridge?”

“Sure,” he said with a frown but didn’t question Phil.

“You boys are not having wine?” His mum asked.

“I read that it can make you dizzy to drink before a flight when you are prone to migraines, so I’m not drinking today.”

“Oh, I’ll take Ribena as well,” said Cornelia.

“That sounds nice, actually. I feel a bit dehydrated myself so I’ll join you,” Martyn said.

Phil’s mum looked a bit upset that half of the table wouldn’t enjoy the wine she bought.

Dan returned with a pitcher of Ribena and placed it on the table. He took a seat next to Phil and eyed him suspiciously.

Phil took a moment to check his messages while his mum served the roast because he knew she didn’t like them being on their phones while they ate and he got a notification from Dan immediately.

“What are you up to?”

“What?” Phil asked, playing coy.

“What’s going on? You’re being weird.”

“I am always weird according to most people.”

Dan sneaked a hand under the table and pinched Phil’s thigh, making him jump. “Fuck!”

“Philip!” his mum chided him.

“Sorry! I think I pulled a muscle on my leg.”

“Well don’t curse and take an ibuprofen,” she said and continued serving.

Phil grabbed his phone again. “I will get you for that. Just don’t say anything, Martyn will announce it soon. He asked me not to tell.”

“Alright,” Dan typed before they were told to put their phones down.

Dinner went by smoothly, although Phil was anxious for Martyn to drop the news so that they could all talk about it. The secret was burning him from the inside. When his mum went to the kitchen to make coffee, he went along and asked if they could cut the cake already.

She was a bit shocked but accepted, so Phil got it from the fridge and set it on the table. It was all covered in candy with a small doll resembling Phil emerging from it. “Aww, that’s cute, Mum,” Phil called over his shoulder.

“I didn’t make it, I just bought it,” she replied.

Phil snorted. Once the coffee and the mugs were at the table, Dan lit the candle and led the happy birthday song for Phil.

In that moment, Phil felt frozen in time, looking around, his loved ones smiling, supporting him and his relationship with Dan, who was easily slotting into the family and he looked at Cornelia, who would soon give him the best gift he could ever get.

Dan laid his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Make a wish!”

Phil smiled at him and leaned down closer to the cake. “I don’t need anything else,” he thought and blew the candle out. He stood up and looked at Martyn, trying to signal him to speak up.

“Corn?” Martyn said.

“We wanted to take a moment to tell you something since we are all together here - the entire family,” she said, looking at them all. “We are having a baby.” She beamed. “I am four months pregnant!”

“Oh, Martyn!” his mum said, rubbing a few stray tears away and hugged his brother briefly before pulling Cornelia into a crushing hug. “This is wonderful!”

His dad shook Martyn’s hand before thinking about it for a moment and pulling him into a hug and Phil could have sworn he saw a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Then it was Dan’s turn to congratulate them and Cornelia asked if he was excited to become an uncle which almost made Phil cry. He just walked over to his brother and gave him a big hug, then he joined Dan in hugging Cornelia who merely laughed.

It was his favourite birthday so far.

---

The following months were a bit of a haze. Dan had stopped taking new patients the previous year to allow him to continue to work with Young Minds, continue acting occasionally and posting on YouTube. He also focused on his mental health book deal, which he’d gladly accepted at a minimum fee and promptly got to work.

It took him almost six months to write and it stressed him out to no end, but he found that he enjoyed the process as well. Phil often read bits and pieces of the book, but Dan was a bit overzealous of his draft until it was completely edited.

He also had a stand-up show written and its tour was in negotiations for the second half of the year. On the other hand, Phil had started his own secret project in the works; he allocated his free time for it fully but he wasn’t going to share it with Dan until he was sure it was what he wanted and had a direct plan of action. He took advantage of the fact that Dan was working his butt off to form a very concrete proposal to buy property together. It would be a huge step for them and he knew that Dan would probably drown in the what ifs if Phil didn’t have at least some ideas of how they could afford such a project and what they would be looking for.

In May, Phil finally felt ready to broach the subject. He took his plans and sat Dan for a talk at the breakfast bar.

“What’s up?” Dan asked, looking nervous and quite pale.

“Everything is alright. I just wanted to ask you something,” Phil said, placing a cup of tea in front of Dan. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words. He let out a little frustrated sigh. “Well… I’m buying a house.”

“Oh?” Dan frowned.

Phil raised his eyebrows at his own stupidity. “For us. For both of us to live together there.”

Dan visibly relaxed. “Oh, ok,” he said with a little laugh.

“Yeah, the thing is… I want to completely remodel it, but I want you to see it and tell me if you like it, if you like the area and to help me design it.”

“Oh, wow,” Dan said, pausing. “I love the idea but, how much money are we talking about?”

Phil had considered paying for it himself, but he knew better than offering something like that to Dan, he would never accept it. “Here,” he said, getting the folder from one of the small drawers in the kitchen.

“You were hiding this in the kitchen?” Dan asked with an amused smile.

Phil shrugged. “Why would you even be looking in there? How often do you cook, Danny boy?”

“Fair,” Dan mumbled, skimming through the pages of the three financial options Phil had presented to him. “I like the 50-50 one if I can just transfer the money to you every month.”

“That was my favourite one too. Now look at the pictures,” Phil said, turning a few pages. Each picture came with handwritten notes of his plan and questions for Dan.

Dan’s face transformed, his smile growing as he turned each page. “It’s gorgeous. Ohhh, the garden, Phil!” Dan said in wonder. “The inside is very old-fashioned but I like the bare bones. Can we afford to remodel it? I think that it could be a bit much.”

“We have the merch store, ad revenue, sponsors, you have your book, we have savings. I know that construction can get out of hand but it will probably take at least a year to complete it so I think we can manage it,” Phil said and braced himself. “All you need to agree to is to let me pay rent completely, at least until your earnings are more similar to mine.”

Dan pursed his lips. Phil could tell that he didn’t like the idea at all but he was in no position to argue. He was still catching up on his metrics. “Alright, but I will pay it back.”

“Don’t,” Phil said. “Put it aside for a trip to Japan. We’ve always wanted to go.”

“I like the sound of that,” Dan said. “Thank you, love.” He leaned in and pressed three quick kisses to Phil’s lips. “I love you!”

“Love you too,” Phil said, letting out a small sigh and taking the first sip of his tepid tea.

---

June 2019

Dan was a bit scared of how the so-called phannies would react to his stand-up so he did a few pre-shows - with unrelated material of course - at a small pub and it went amazingly well. They loved his style and the crude jokes. As it turned out, their viewers had grown with them and made it fairly evident that there had always been people of their own age and even older watching their content. As Dan had simply put it: “They’re old.”

Phil had known that most of their viewers were queer for quite a while but seeing the army of -mostly- lesbians at Dan’s small shows was a delight. It was a freeing experience for both of them. Dan got to make as many gay sex jokes as he wanted and people often matched his energy which made him incredibly happy and Phil got to see Dan be himself fully, be confident in his own identity and sexuality which also turned into a bit of a surprising self-discovery journey.

Phil had thought that he had been confident in his own skin for years and years but being semi-closeted in aspects of your life plays a weird game on your mind. The little offhand comments you’d get, or having to lie by omission to some weird intrusive questions, having to come up with made-up stories in interviews, it was all very tiring. Phil found that he also loved to make crude jokes in public, perhaps not as much in his videos but in his everyday life. It was just something that brought him a lot of joy.

It was a relief to be so secure in their relationship that when Dan joked about people sliding into his DMs and living his hot boy summer, Phil didn’t feel jealous at all. He knew that Dan was loyal to him and that what they had was a priority for both of them.

Before things got too busy and with the excuse of Dan’s birthday, they took a weekend trip to visit his family.

Phil stood before the same door he’d stood almost a decade prior and smiled at the bittersweet memories it brought. He knew that this time things would be different. With Dan’s homophobic father long gone from the family home, they weren’t as worried about things going awry, so his mind turned to the first few months after they met in person, when everything had changed. Sharing Dan’s bed, flirting, playing hours upon hours of video games and filming. Phil let out a sigh as he remembered Dan looking at him, the golden specks in his warm brown eyes dancing in the sunlight as he laughed, his hobbit hair wild and free.

“Ready?” Dan asked, pulling him from his musings.

Phil simply smiled at him and nodded, but before he could ring the doorbell, Karen opened the door, welcoming them and wrapping them into a tight hug each.

“Oh, Phil! It’s so good to see you again after so long! I’ve been asking Dan to bring you over forever,” she said.

“Thank you so much!” Phil said with a huge smile. A side eye Dan’s way revealed that he had been, in fact, asked to bring Phil over, if his beat red face and neck scratching was any indication. “He keeps me hidden, what can I say?”

She laughed and swatted Dan’s arm.

“I don’t!” Dan said. “We’ve just been busy, Mum.”

“Of course you have.” Karen rolled her eyes at her son and ushered them inside.

She pointed Phil towards one of the armchairs and Dan to the closest spot to him on the bigger sofa, choosing the other end of it for herself. As soon as Phil had taken his place, he felt two soft paws scratching at his legs. “Awww, Hi Colin! Nice to meet you!” Phil said as he helped the pup climb onto his lap. He gave Colin a kiss and turned his attention back to Dan’s mum. “How have you been?” he finally asked.

“Oh, you know how it is,” she said. “Teaching is very difficult with this newer generation, they are quite unruly, but I still love my job. How are you guys? Any new projects?”

Dan reached his hand to pet Colin absentmindedly but kept his eyes on his mum. “My book is out already and it did very well. People are saying they enjoyed it and that it helped them manage their mental health a bit better, so I’m happy about that. The tour is about to start, I brought you tickets, as you requested,” he said, fishing them out of his pocket and handing them over to her. “You can go with Nana and Popsie; Adrian wants to go on a different date.”

“Your brother is such a loose cannonball sometimes,” she shook her head but smiled. “Will your parents be there, Phil?” Karen asked although it didn’t really sound like a question. Phil realised that this was not Dan’s mother talking to him, it was his “Mother in Law” letting him know that she expected him to make it work so that both families could finally meet after so many years. There were expectations.

Phil blinked but he didn’t let his smile falter. He was a bit nervous, but he had, gladly, made the arrangements to save everyone the pain of flying over another time. It was not quite a middle ground but it was the best option.“Yes, of course. They love Dan and they’re very excited to see the show. All of our friends are going on different dates as well.” He kept petting Colin, who was trying to take a nap on his lap but kept opening his eyes every time Dan or Phil touched him.

“Did you warn Nana that it’s rude?” Dan asked, picking at the fabric of the sofa cushion.

“Yes, but she has been watching your videos, so she knows what to expect,” Karen said. “You should have her on your channel, I think she would like that very much.”

Dan sputtered. “I don’t know about that.”

“Aw, that would be so cute!” Phil said. “Also the viewers loved her comment about the Ipad and the old home videos where she tried to scare you. I think she’d be a hit.”

Karen nodded. “See? Phil agrees with me!”

“He’s just sucking up to you,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “I would never!”

“Don’t be like that, Phil is very sweet and polite!” Karen said, patting Phil’s knee.

Phil stuck his tongue out to Dan.

The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Dan’s grandparents and causing both Dan and Phil to stand and Colin to jump from his lap, throwing a reproachful look over his shoulder as he marched towards Dan.

“Hellooo,” Dan said, picking him up and going up to greet his grandparents.

Phil stood by his armchair and awkwardly waited for everyone to join him to shake Nana’s and Popsie’s hands as they sat on the big sofa with Karen, relegating Dan -and Colin- to the armchair across the room. Seeing Dan’s pout at being so far away from him made Phil regret not joining him on the big sofa when he got the chance.

Dan’s grandparents were extremely polite but a bit aloof at first. Dan had mentioned that they were open to the idea of him being gay but they hadn’t been in contact with any gay people per se, so they would have to try to act naturally to give them an idea of what they could expect. Basically, Dan had asked Phil to be himself and treat him as if they were alone at home, with as much pda or as little as he felt like doing.

“Phil, it is so nice to see you,” Dan’s grandma said, folding her hands on her lap.

Phil smiled. “Thank you,” he said and nodded at Popsie. “Nice to see you both again. I hope you remember me.”

“I do,” Dan’s grandma said, looking at Dan out of the corner of her eye. “Daniel couldn’t quite stop talking about you all the time so by the time I met you, I felt like I already knew you. That made it hard to forget you.”

Phil didn’t know what to say to that, so he smiled. It was a little bit funny, picturing Dan with his massive crush, going on and on about Phil.

“Nana, don’t make me sound so lame,” Dan said a bit too loudly, causing Colin to lift his head and huff. Dan looked at him apologetically and ruffled his fur.

“I am only telling the truth, if that makes you sound ‘lame’ as you put it…” she trailed off.

Phil burst out laughing and suddenly felt at ease with her. “You are delightful.”

“I’m going to be bullied the entire day, aren’t I?” Dan asked, pouting and flipping Colin’s ear inside out.

Popsie smiled at him and nodded before focusing on Phil. “So, what are your plans for the future?” he asked.

“For the future?” Phil asked, unsure of what to say, so he started speaking about work as per usual. “I have a lot of videos in the work, sponsors, my brother runs our merch company as well, but I do need to look things over. We are quite busy at the moment, especially with Dan going away on tour for a few months.” He looked at Dan across the room for any indication on how good of a reply that was but Dan merely shrugged.

“Well, that’s wonderful, but… we’ve been wondering if you two are going to get married, adopt children? I’m not sure how it’s done nowadays,” Popsie said with a small smile.

Dan sank further into his armchair, trying to make himself small and turned to talk to his mum, who completely ignored him in favour of listening to Phil’s answer.

Phil’s eyes widened, but he thought each and every single one of his movements carefully. He took account of how he was sitting, his posture, and his hands. He sat as a perfectly respectable human instead of a pile of goo; he squared his shoulders, laced his fingers on his lap and leaned forward trying to exude confidence. “Well, we haven’t discussed marriage quite yet, but we are buying property together this year.”

“You are?” Karen asked, beaming and looking between Dan and Phil.

Dan nodded but let Phil do the talking.

“Yes, it was my idea,” Phil said. “As you may know, Dan and I have quite a bit of history and it took us some time to repair our friendship and build a strong and loving relationship, so we are taking things slow to make sure that we are doing things the right way.”

“That is good! It’s important to take the time to consider things and not just jump into a wedding,” Karen said, looking pointedly at her mother. “A house sounds wonderful. May I ask if it will be under both of your names?”

Phil nodded. “Yes. We have already decided how we will split the cost, and since we are going to remodel it before moving in, it will probably be a long process.”

“Where are you buying?” Popsie asked, giving him what Phil assumed was an approving look.

“Kensington,” Phil said. “It’s a three-story house with a huge back garden.” He pulled his phone out and showed them a few pictures.

“It looks like a good place for a family,” Dan’s grandma said.

“Please, no mention of children,” Dan whined, pulling Colin to lay on his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

“Don’t you want children, Daniel?” she asked.

“Not right now,” Dan said with a frown. “We have a lot of work ahead. If it happens it will happen.”

“But how?” Popsie asked, cocking his head. “I don’t mean to be rude, of course, but I don’t understand.”

Phil saw a mix of embarrassment and anger forming in Dan’s face, but he could see that Popsie was just trying to understand, so he took over the conversation. “Well, neither of us will be getting pregnant,” he laughed. “But gay couples have different options, or rather, we have the same options as most couples dealing with infertility, like adoption, or getting eggs from a donor and paying a surrogate to carry the child, or simply to remain child-free. Like I said, at the moment we are focusing on ourselves and our relationship, anything else will come in the future, when we have the proper time and money to make it happen.” Phil ventured a look at Dan and found nothing but gratitude and love in his eyes.

“Yes,” Dan said, the smile slowly returning to his face. “I may be just a little selfish here, but I don’t want to share Phil with anyone at the moment, and if we decided to have children, a wedding would probably happen first. For now, we have our house to focus on and our projects.”

Karen smiled and patted Dan’s hand. “It sounds like you have a wonderful life together.”

“We do,” Dan said, his smile widening. “And I am very happy.”

“That’s all that matters then,” Dan’s grandma said and clapped her hands once. “Congratulations to you both.”

Popsie smiled and nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much, Daniel. It is a relief to still be alive to see you so happy.”

“Well, don’t take it as a sign to die,” Dan said, letting out an awkward laugh. “That would not make me very happy.”

“It’s not my time yet,” Popsie chuckled.

The doorbell rang once again and Karen walked over to the window, pulling the curtains back. “Looks like the pizza is here!” she said, giving Phil an apologetic look before walking over to the door.

“Karen! Pizza? While having company over? Why didn’t you cook something?” Dan’s grandma said, getting up and walking after her daughter.

“I’m not a great cook and I didn’t want to stress about it,” Karen said.

“But I am, I could have made something!”

Karen waved her off. “It’s fine and Phil loves pizza, don’t you Phil?”

“I do!” Phil added and finally remembered that as a guest he should probably offer to carry the pizzas. “I can take that to the kitchen,” he said.

“You are such a darling, Phil. Always so polite!” Karen said, handing him the boxes.

Out of the corner of his eye, Phil saw Popsie sliding closer to Dan and whispering something as he placed a hand on his shoulder and watched Dan rub his cheek quickly to wipe a few tears as he nodded and smiled.

Phil let out a sigh of relief. Everything was finally falling into place. Both families had accepted them with love and respect for them and the relationship they shared. It was all they had ever wanted.

---

October 2019

October brought many milestones. They celebrated their first anniversary as an official couple and the 10th anniversary of the day they first met.

The celebration itself was more of an improvised dinner date at their new home, in which construction had just started, sitting on a blanket, basically having a picnic and wine. Maybe it would not be considered the most romantic set up by the majority of people, but to them it was. It symbolised so many achievements and the hard work that they had put on themselves, their friendship and their relationship, as well as being their first property. In a way, it was the most romantic celebration they could have put together. There were no aesthetic decorations, fancy restaurants or public displays, it was just them - together, sharing a moment.

Dan grabbed a slice of pizza and moaned dramatically as he bit into it.

Phil laughed at his antics. God, he loved how Dan made him laugh with the simplest gestures. He loved Dan, his curly hair, his warm brown eyes, that low voice he used when it was just the two of them. He loved Dan dressed to the nines or only in his joggers and a stained T-shirt, his eyes falling shut from how tired he was. He loved Dan naked too, when it was just him, no decoration, no masks, just Dan. He loved Dan so much that he sometimes felt his heart would burst out of his chest at any moment.

“What?” Dan asked mid chew.

Phil snorted. “You have stubble now,” he said, cupping Dan’s cheek and rubbing his thumb on his chin.

“I’ll get it tomorrow,” Dan said.

“Don’t,” Phil smiled. “I like it.”

“I thought you said it was too rough on your skin,” Dan said.

“Maybe I like it rough,” Phil said with an awkward wink.

Dan laughed and threw a piece of crust his way.

“Hey, be nice!” Phil said.

“I’m always nice,” Dan said, pointing at his bruised forehead. “Today I slammed my head into the cabinets again and I didn’t even yell at you about it.”

“Is that why you were cursing this morning?”

“Yes, but I let you have a lie in instead of going to you to complain.”

“You could have joined me,” Phil said, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

“I wanted to clean so that you don’t have to keep up with everything while I’m gone,” Dan said, his smile dropping a bit.

“That’s actually very sweet of you,” Phil said.

Dan pretended to retch. “Shut up,” he said, very fondly. It was the first time that they would be apart for an extended period of time since they got back together. Phil could hardly remember what life without Dan was like, but it was necessary. He would support every single solo project Dan had, and help him spread his wings, in the same way Dan supported him.

This was the time for Dan to spend some time with his followers without Phil’s presence, except in the occasional show.

“I’m going to miss you and go a bit crazy,” Phil admitted.

“You can always come to visit me on the road.”

“Maybe I will,” Phil said and leaned in to press a quick kiss to Dan’s lips.

“Please do,” Dan said, sounding a little smaller, perhaps like a lost child.

“Aww,” said Phil and gave him a quick succession of kisses on the lips. Three for good luck. “You will do amazingly, they will love you.”

“What if I fuck up on stage?” Dan frowned.

“Then they will laugh with you, which is the point of the show,” Phil said. “You know what to do already, just be yourself.”

“Sometimes I panic and consider cancelling.”

Phil nodded. “I know, I can see it in your eyes from time to time, but I also know that you were made to do this. You have to go out there and make little theatre kid Dan proud.”

“I know, but I could also just go live in the woods,” Dan said, only half joking.

“You are afraid of trees, and the show starts next week. It’s too late to back out now,” Phil laughed, patting his leg.

Dan snorted a laugh. “Yeah,” he said, shifting slightly and laying back onto Phil’s lap. “I love you, you know?” he asked, looking up at Phil.

“Yeah, I know,” Phil said, running his fingers through Dan’s curls. “I love you too.”

“Enough to keep my plants alive while I am away?” Dan smirked.

“I can’t promise that,” Phil laughed. “But I can promise that the house will still be standing when you come back - probably.”

Dan laughed, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Probably.”

---

Dan’s stand-up show “We’re all doomed” opened to a full theatre of fans who had shown up to support him. Their excitement permeated the air and got into Phil. He was there to see his favourite person perform.

Phil danced in his seat while the pre show playlist boomed through the speakers. His smile widened when Dan came onto the stage. He felt a hand resting on his own, turned to his side and looked into his mother’s eyes, her smile matching his.

His heart sang as he watched Dan perform, giving it his all, working the stage and feeding off the audience’s energy.

He loved the show, he really did, but watching both of their families laugh along with Dan’s jokes and look at him proudly had to be one of Phil’s favourite memories from that night.

As the show came to a close, Dan came on stage one last time to thank the audience and looked up to the gallery where his people were. He made direct eye contact with Phil and placed his hand on his heart, smiling widely and mouthing a silent “I love you,” and Phil wanted to keep that image engraved in his mind forever.

It had taken such a long time to get to this point, but they were finally where they wanted to be, together, and even though Phil didn’t forget everything that had happened, all the heartache, all the hardships, he didn’t doubt for a second that it had all been worth it. God, he loved Dan so much, and he was going to spend the rest of his life making him happy - just as happy as Dan made him.

#succubusphan fics #phanfic #phanfiction #phan #phan au #dan and phil #ospbb 2023

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