Shit Commissioner Jim Gordon Has Witnessed
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Watched Nightwing swan dive off the side of a roof only to be saved by Superman last second.
Rounded a corner down in the sewer systems and saw Spoiler, Red Robin, Killer Croc, and Solomon Grundy having a tea party. (He joined them after some coaxing from the two young vigilantes.)
Saw Batman get judo flipped by Wonder Woman off a bridge and into the Gotham River after they had an argument.
Stood on the sidelines of a fight with the Gotham Swat team because Red Robin challenged the Riddler to a dance battle- which the villain accepted and ultimately lost.
Saw the Penguin and Scarecrow throw hands with each other during a huge bust on one of their facilities.
Walked Black Bat through an intense poker game all for the sake of getting more information via undercover work.
Woke up one night in his office and caught Robin, Signal, and Superboy in the act of stealing documents from his filing cabinet.
Saw the red head Green Lantern moon Batman-
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Just thinking about what if Penguin found an orphan baby raven while watching birds somewhere, but he couldn't take it in, because he already has too many birds so he shows up at Jonathan's door like
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Top ten weird ways Oswald Cobbepot gets called in Gotham
As I was rewatching Gotham, I decided to write down every name that people in the show canonically call Oswald Cobblepot aka the Penguin. It was a wild ride. Please enjoy
10. "Funny looking fellow"
(season one)
We start with a simple one. This isn't even an insult, it's just a fact. He is, indeed, a funny looking fellow. I'm pretty sure they say it more than once too.
9. "The Dapper Gangland Kingpin"
(season two)
This one it's just silly, especially since it was written on a newspaper. Just... that's kind of weird ? Idk it's silly it makes me chuckle
8. "Yellow rat snitch"
(season one)
We start getting a little weirder. Why a rat? And, more importantly, why yellow???
7. "Stupid lame birdbrain"
(season four)
Just so mean. Especially since this scene it's his dumb husband making a room full of people chant it
6. "Golden goose"
(season one)
Right back to season one and it's incredible dialogue. This one is particularly amazing thanks to Oswald's reply to it, which was, of course: "Honk honk". I can't even start to describe that scene. It's a classic.
5. "Beaky nosed freak"
(season five)
Definitely the best nickname the last season had to offer. Like, you know that moment when a guy kills your bestfriend/girlfriend and you call him the silliest name you can think of? This is one of those times.
4. "Sad little breadhead"
(season two)
This one from never fails. Imagine it delivered with the most condicending tone in the world. Just amazing. Makes me laugh every time.
3. "Scaley faced bitch"
(season one)
This is the first one in the show, directly from the first episode. I am a firm supporter of calling men bitches when they deserve it, and he did, so I wholeheartedly approve this message. Adding the scaley face part just makes it more poetic.
2. "Fruitcake leprechaun"
(season two)
This. This is the one that started it all. It was thinking about this one that I decided that this rewatch I was gonna write down all the nicknames. I dont know if it has something to do with english not being my first language, so I don't have the background of the word "fruitcake" used as an homophobic remark, but this name is one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.
1. "Limping little chickenbutt second banana"
(season one)
This couldn't not be on the first place. I am obsessed with the writers of this show, i want to get inside their brains. Because like what does it mean? How did they come up with this? I need to know every thought that crossed their mind for them to write this. This is art. This is poetry. Incredible. Amazing. Absolutely insane. Kudos to the actor who played Maroni because if they gave me that line I wouldn't be able to say it with a straight face.
Bonus:
(For the fans, he is also called "the only thing Nygma cares about". Just... you know, in case you forgot)
Some recurrent nicknames are: "Pengy", "Ozzie", "freak", "cockroach", "punk", bird related names (bird/birdman, feathered friend, chicken, turkey...) and "little"/"tiny" followed by almost anything (man, friend, dirtbag, bastard, creep, twerp, freak, weasel...)
His haircut is described as "disco vampire hair" at one point (another classic)
He is also called "specimen", which is really funny, and "dewdropper"?? for some reason I don't remember but it was in my notes and I couldn't ignore it lmao
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