Wheelchair user ! Tighnari Au
⚠️ Spoilers for the Sumeru archon quests. TW for canon major character injury, spinal cord injury ⚠️
It’s so unlikely that Tighnari would have walked away from and fully recovered from a lightning strike as depicted in the archon quest. So for the purposes of this Au, vision holder plot armor has been removed.
• Immediately following the strike, he’s blinded, deafened, and loses consciousness. It isn’t until he comes to that he realizes he was thrown several meters away by a shockwave.
• Everything hurts, but particularly his head, his right ear, and his back. He stays on the ground regaining his bearings until Dehya helps him to his feet. It’s then that he realizes he can’t feel his legs.
• Dehya mentioned that she has seen lightning strike victims, and so has Tighnari. They both know that his immediate symptoms are temporary, and that he just needs to rest for a few hours. This is why he insists he is fine, even as his legs get so weak that he needs to sit as they talk.
• Except even after those hours of rest and most of the symptoms are gone, his head, ear, and back still hurt, and he still wobbles like a newborn deer when he stands. It only takes him a moment of trying to walk it off to realize that his tail is limp.
• That is when he realizes that something is very, very wrong and that he needs to see the bimarstan. Tighnari makes the decision to leave Hypasia where she is, knowing his back might be broken, and that trying to lift her might hurt both of them. He takes Karkata with him too, in case he can’t continue. He’ll send someone to check on her as soon as he gets to the city.
• He makes it to the bimarstan in the middle of the night, collapsed over Karkata and exhausted. Someone is sent for Hypasia and he is rushed to a bed for treatment.
• The next few hours are hazy and he falls asleep at some point. When he wakes up again, several days have passed. His burns and head are wrapped in bandages. A hand flies to his tail to make sure that it is, in fact, still there.
• A doctor tells him that he has a concussion, a blown earn drum, and nerve damage. They couldn’t determine the extent of it with him asleep and with the concussion, so they have to wait until that heals to know the true extent of the damage.
• It’s nearly a month before his concussion is gone. In that time, Cyno, Collei, and traveler have come to visit him. He hasn’t been able to stand at all, otherwise he would have returned home to heal.
• The neurological eval determines that he has no reflexes or sensation at and below his pelvis. Without imaging, they can’t tell what exactly caused the complete spinal cord injury between the lightning strike and his arrival at the bimarstan. Tighnari doesn’t remember what happened either. Either way, the damage is already done.
• Understandably, he is devastated by the news. He already knew that was the case, but it never sunk in until it was confirmed by a doctor. At the same time, he insists that he won’t let it limit him from his research or working with the forest rangers. He can’t.
• The next day, an evaluator comes to fit him for a wheelchair. Tighnari stubbornly advocates for it to be made for an active life in the rain forest, despite the evaluator insisting that he wouldn’t be able to return to his job. In the end, he gets the modifications he asked for, and it will be ready for him to use in a week.
• One of the biggest fights he has with the medical staff is to keep his tail. They all want to amputate it, since it’s ‘useless’ now and a huge risk for injury, but he fights hard. He will not let them take it.
• While he waits for the wheelchair, the doctors teach him how to care for himself long-term: how to get dressed, how to clean himself, how to self-cath and do a bowel program. And, at his request, they also come up with methods for him to do the above without injuring his tail.
• As soon as the wheelchair is ready, he starts learning how to transfer, push himself, do wheelies, all the important tasks for self independence. He isn’t allowed to go home until he can prove he can get around on his own, so he practices and practices all day long.
• He gets discharged several days later and finally, finally gets to go home. Cyno is there to escort him, which is great even though he wants to push himself the whole way. It takes time to build up strength for that, and he was confined to a bed for the greater part of two months.
• While he was gone, Gandharva ville was made as wheelchair accessible as possible. All the ramps and roads have been leveled and cleared of obstacles. Initially, they’re too tiring for him to push up, but with practice he can eventually get up them just fine.
• Some things need to be lowered in his home, but once that is done, his life returns to normal. Collei did a great job of keeping things in order while he was gone, and despite the other rangers’ initial worry, he is still a strong, capable leader and completely independent.
• If he can help it, though, he never wants to go to Sumeru city again. That place is completely inaccessible.
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An analysis of Xiao’s mental state
Okay so I’ve finally finished gathering all the info to make a coherent post about this. It took a hot minute but it was so worth it. The new trailer is a gold mine and it confirms some things that I’ve been thinking about for awhile now. Given the time of year, I think it’s time I pointed out something that’s so obvious, yet I have never seen a discussion about.
And that is Xiao’s (and his fellow yakshas) experiences with psychosis, and what it could mean for 3.4.
⚠️ DISCLAIMER ⚠️
I am not claiming that Hoyoverse intended to write Xiao with a mental illness and I am not diagnosing him with a condition. Psychosis is a symptom, not a condition in and of itself, and it can be caused by many different things, not just mental illness. I am also not going to be exploring a cause, simply pointing out that Xiao’s experiences as they have been shown to us so far (as of the ‘Endless Suffering’ teaser trailer) are an accurate depiction of psychosis.
That all being said, please proceed with caution. This post talks about and contains examples of delusions, auditory and visual hallucinations, disordered thoughts, and other features of psychosis, as well as character death. If these are triggers for you, please be careful.
Also, obviously there are spoilers ahead.
Discussion begins beneath the cut.
According to the DSM-5, psychosis is “defined by the presence of delusions, hallucinations, formal thought disorder (ie, disorganized speech), or abnormal psychomotor behavior (grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior), not better explained by another mental disorder, substance use disorder, or medical condition.” I realize that probably means a whole lot of nothing to most people, but don’t worry. Let’s take it one piece at a time.
Here, delusions do not refer to the in-universe devices made by the Fatui. Delusions, as a feature of psychosis, are false beliefs about reality that a person cannot be dissuaded of, even when the belief is undeniably proven to be false.
Let me give you a real life example. Imagine you have a friend over for dinner and you notice they haven’t touched their drink (let’s say it’s soda). You ask them what’s wrong. They say they refuse to drink the soda because the manufacturer is putting poison in it. You tell them that can’t be true because it would be on the news if it was true. You tell them that you have never gotten sick from this soda. You even drink a cup of it in front of them and nothing happens. Still, they insist it is poisoned.
This is an example of a common delusion. However, delusions come in many different forms.
Now, Xiao doesn’t immediately appear to have any delusions, admittedly. Even if he didn’t, that wouldn’t mean he isn’t experiencing psychosis; of the four features, only one needs to be present. That being said, I do want to point out one potential delusion:
His belief that his presence (or more specifically, his power) harms mortals.
I want to be clear that I am not talking about his backstory here. Xiao harmed mortals while enslaved to a previous god and I am not saying that didn’t happen, or that it was a result of a mental illness (because it wasn’t). What I am saying is he seems to believe that just existing around people can and will harm them, when what we see in game says the opposite. And no, I’m not just referring to vision holders, but normal people as well.
He claims that adeptal energy harms mortals. We see this several times in game. He says it when we first meet him.
And still seems to believe so during Perilous trial. (Otherwise Paimon wouldn’t be comforting him over the thought.)
Yet, we as the traveler, nor any other character he has interacted with on or off screen (that we know of) has fallen ill. Now for vision holders (aka playable characters) that can be explained away. For whatever reason, visions seem to increase a mortal’s tolerance to this energy.
So sure, if we assume his power really is dangerous, then ours, xiangling’s, and the Perilous trial gang’s lack of sickness from being around him doesn’t disprove this belief. But you know what does?
This NPC.
And all the visionless soldiers from the fight against Osial.
And everyone that passes Xiao in the harbor from the newest official video.
This isn’t even mentioning event content, like the time that we call for Xiao in the harbor to taste Xiangling’s cooking, or the in-game novels about the yakshas and adepti, which have only good things to say. You would think that one of those legends would tell of the horrors that follow the Vigilant Yaksha if such things were true.
But okay. Let’s say that none of these interactions were ‘long enough’ to cause the harm he believes will come to those around him. That still doesn’t explain why Yelan has a voice line about his presence aiding visionless mortals.
It doesn’t make sense that his presence could both have a comforting effect and a harmful one. And considering Yelan has an account of a person who had a (recurrent) positive experience from Xiao’s presence, and we have no accounts of a person who had a negative one, I’m inclined to believe Yelan. Yet, as far as we are made aware, he still believes enough contact, even with vision holders, will hurt them.
Remember, I’m talking about his power, his presence, not his karma.
See the parallel?
Let’s move on to the next feature.
Hallucinations are experiences of sensations that are not actually present. They can be heard, seen, felt, smelled, tasted, etc. Most people hallucinate from time to time, especially if they’re tired. Ever thought you heard someone call your name and they didn’t actually say anything? Pet owners, ever thought that you saw your pet walking in the corner of your eye, when they were sitting right next to you? Those are examples of hallucinations.
This feature is more obvious for Xiao. Starting with the most obvious, he experiences visual hallucinations, which were very clearly shown in the ‘Endless Suffering’ video.
Now before people brush this off as an artistic representation of his karma haunting him, may I remind you that there is literally a scene where the hallucination is shown through his eyes, and when he blinks it disappears, replaced by a little girl with a replica mask.
Notice how he sees the hallucination before looking to the little girl’s location. This shows that he was hallucinating beforehand, not mistaking what he saw for something else.
I believe the ‘other Xiao’ that he was shown to be fighting with earlier in the video to be something else. Due to the black aura coming off of him there, that seemed to be some sort of miasma or karmic manifestation. This makes sense, as he was fighting other monsters like hilichurls just beforehand. Regardless, the Xiao with the black aura and the greenish Xiao from the harbor were intentionally made distinct to show that they are not the same thing.
Similarly, he might also experience auditory hallucinations. I wasn’t able to catch something from the video that seemed to be this kind of hallucination, though Xiao does have a voice line about hearing voices.
This one is less concrete, as this is a fantasy world and the voices he hears could very well be really there. He tells us that he also hears the wishes of all those that wish on the lanterns at lantern rite. It could be an adeptus thing. So feel free to believe this one or not, but I wanted to put it out there.
Next is formal thought disorder. This feature refers to impaired ability to sustain and express coherent thoughts. Xiao does not seem to struggle with this at all, so I won’t dwell on it. Again, he doesn’t need to experience this to be experiencing psychosis, since we already established he is experiencing other features.
Abnormal psychomotor behavior looks at outward responsiveness to the environment. Both behavior that is unusually active (combativeness, restlessness, emotional agitation) and unusually absent (unresponsiveness) are possible manifestations of this feature.
Xiao is said to experience unprovoked bouts of anger and fear in the book ‘Yakshas: The Guardian Adepti’ just as his fallen comrades did as well. This book outright confirms that the other Yaksha all experienced psychotic episodes prior to their deaths and is both a great source of evidence for this topic as well as just a great lore read. The cutscene of Bosacius’s last moments is also a great example of psychosis. But I digress.
I was surprised to find that Xiao’s voice lines indicate he is pretty restless. Hoyo doesn’t repeat information unless it is important, and Xiao has not one (1), not two (2), but three (3) voice lines about his dislike for standing around or being idle.
Seems pretty restless to me.
Returning to the video once again, we can infer from the little girl’s dialogue that Xiao is at times unresponsive. If you want to watch again for yourself, the dialogue is from 2:22-2:39.
If you don’t, the scene is of the girl speaking to Xiao, but he doesn’t respond to her comments about her mask, or her asking if he is okay. Even when the girl calls to her grandfather to give Xiao some rice wine pudding, his only reaction is to close his eyes.
This is very unlike Xiao. From the Perilous trial quest, we know that he does not become withdrawn like this when tired, so exhaustion from fighting wouldn’t explain his behavior. He has never been shown to act like this, even around strangers. If he didn’t want to interact, he would simply teleport away. Except Venti’s later comment of the rice wine on his breath implies that he stayed. Therefore, this also seems to be evidence of abnormal behavior.
Everything I have discussed so far are positive symptoms, which cover abnormal experiences of psychosis. There can also be negative symptoms, or reduced experiences, that occur at the same time. These can be inability to show emotion, apathy, or withdrawing from social experiences, among other things. Presence of these symptoms starts to lean towards a specific condition, namely schizophrenia, but since they are relevant to Xiao’s behavior, I still want to mention them.
While Xiao openly admits to not understanding or experiencing human emotions, this is clearly an adeptus thing. Other full-blooded adepti such as Cloud Retainer share this experience, so I won’t consider it here. And while Xiao says he can’t understand human emotions, he seems to be able to sympathize, or at the very least treat others’ emotions with respect.
On the other hand, for what otherwise seems like an improvement, Xiao’s want to rest instead of stay with Venti concerns me. Firstly, because he has been shown to deny the need or want for rest every time it comes up in recent events. Secondly, because their dialogue indicates that late nights drinking on the roof are somewhat commonplace for them. Thirdly, because he was actively experiencing other psychotic features directly prior to the interaction, and him turning down Venti’s offer could be him starting to withdraw socially.
It should be noted that Xiao has already almost succumbed to his karma once, and the description of that event seems to suggest that he was deep into a psychotic episode at the time. This parallels the fates of his closest comrades, who all met their ends in this way. It is implied that his condition has since improved, though lantern rite is always a difficult time for him, and the trailer is letting us see for the first time what that really means.
Unfortunately, people who experience psychosis and psychotic disorders have poorer life expectancies than their peers. In game, psychosis has been shown to be a staple disorder of yaksha who are overwhelmed by their karma and will soon die. And right now is the time of year that it is all at its worst for the yaksha.
Death flags are waving for Xiao.
At the same time, his support system has grown larger than ever. Not only does he have Zhongli, but the traveler, Xiangling, Yelan, Yanfei, Itto, Shinobu, Qiqi, Baizhu, and Venti. Osial has been buried in the ocean once again and the earth rests. Burdens such as Bosacius’s unknown fate have been lifted off his shoulders, and he’s learned that maybe his siblings’ wishes for a mundane life aren’t out of reach after all.
With update 3.4 only a few days away, we’ll soon get to see what all this means for him going forward. Hoyoverse posted this video a few days before the update for a reason, and its contents show Xiao’s struggle in such a raw, new way for a reason. I can only assume we will see his current health addressed in some way, and while I will prepare for the worst, I will also hope for the best.
As an aside, I would like to take the time to applaud Hoyoverse for the effort they have put into making these depictions accurate. Psychosis is clearly an important topic when it comes to the yaksha and the effects of the bad karma they receive from their duty. I believe it is being used as a foreshadowing tool now, but despite being used for narrative, the disorder has been accurately and diversely represented amongst the yaksha (Bosacius’s cutscene vs Xiao’s teaser trailer), and most importantly, these characters remain fully fleshed-out people, not caricatures of mental illness.
Xiao is psychotic. He is also kind, loyal, and a strong warrior. He mentors others when they ask. He loves almond tofu and music. His dream is to dance among flowers, free from his duty as a yaksha. And despite Xiao’s past, of the violence he was forced to commit as a slave, and the danger that comes with battling alongside him, Hoyo makes a point to show that he has sworn to protect mortals and has never wished to harm anybody.
That is a distinction that is sorely underrepresented in media. Experiencers of psychosis are not inherently dangerous or violent, and of the two psychotic episodes they have depicted in detail, neither included violence toward people around the sufferer.
Once the second dropped, I couldn’t continue keeping this to myself, not when this gem of a detail has been going unnoticed by many. So once again, may I just say: well done, Hoyoverse. Well done.
Thanks for coming to my TedTalk. Happy Lantern Rite.
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